#It certainly was not short like I see in animations when he popped out of the sewers

[canonisdead]

Guardian cringed as he carefully made his way up the steps, he stopped at the custard when he was startled by a strange noise.

It sounded distorted, he looks over his shoulder. But all he saw was Laa-Laa leaning against one of the shorter pillars while her free hand was clutching at her head.

The noise repeated itself occasionally. To put it simply, it sounded like a worn out song, a distorted music box because it got used over and over.

But he couldn't find some hidden monster, all he saw was Laa-Laa holding her head. And waiting for his dragging hair to get out of the way so she could move forward.

The satellite station should be up ahead.

A thud cause him to look over again, the yellow Teletubby had her arms pushed against the stone ground.

After a few moments of watching her clutching at the ground, "Uh. You're going to have to get up if you want to get to the station."

His limbs stiffen when she emits the broken melodious breaths he's been hearing the whole time.

Laa-Laa hisses under her breath as she forces herself back on her feet.

And shrieked as she runs towards him, considering her claws were out, Guardian could only assume she had zero good intentions.

He quickly picks up a decently sized rock off the ground and swings it.

She screams again, stumbling backwards and clutches at her now bleeding head.

He runs away as fast as he can, his hair was still fairly long even after his encounter with Tinky. So the last thing he needed was tripping on it while running away from the now infected Laa-Laa.

[spencerreidenjoyer]

let you lock me down (tonight) | spencer reid x reader

You'd never really thought about having kids, but Spencer just might change your mind.

wc: 600, rating: explicit/18+

tags: breeding kink (this is the whole premise of the fic. oops?), talk of having kids/pregnancy, established relationship, fem!reader, set in s10-11

a/n: no reason for this other than the fact that sabrina carpenter's juno is one of my fav songs off the short n' sweet album. also i was probably ovulating when i started this drabble sorryyyy

You know Spencer had wanted kids since you first got together.

It hadn’t come up until a few dates in, where Spencer had been a little late to dinner because he was helping to watch over his colleague’s kid. He’d talked for half the night about how much he adored her kid as his godfather, with his colleague having a second one on the way, and how he wanted to be a dad someday.

You would’ve found it more creepy if you weren’t extremely endeared. Spencer was undeniably loving, caring, and impossibly sweet, and dating him was easy. Being with Spencer is easy. You get him, and he gets you.

You know Spencer wants kids, and that’s why when you mention it you’re not surprised by how he reacts.

It just happens to be in the middle of sex.

“Fuck, baby,” you giggle, Spencer being extremely eager as he pushes into you. “You’re so needy. It’s like you wanna put a baby in me.” 

Spencer chokes, his hips stuttering at your filthy words, and it just pushes him deeper into your tightness. “Oh, my God.”

“Does that sound good? You filling me up with your cum until it takes?” you moan, as Spencer rolls his hips into you. It shoves his thick cock deeper inside of you, bullying his way past your tight walls. 

“You make me sound like an animal,” Spencer complains, but his breathlessness tells you that he’s into it. He’s still fucking into you – hard, eager, desperate.

“You could fuck me like an animal,” you swoon, just a little, rather pleased with yourself and the fact that Spencer is so into this, so into you. “Wanna claim me as yours?”

Spencer laughs, shaking his head. “You’re going to be the death of me.”

“Not before you get me pregnant,” you tease, waggling your eyebrows. “Come on, you know you want to.”

”You are literally insane,” Spencer says, stilling his hips. They’re pressed flush against you, but he looks down at you sternly. “Are you being serious right now?”

You purse your lips, considering Spencer’s own concerned look. “Kind of?”

”Kind of?” Spencer parrots back. “Be more specific.”

”Maybe I just wanna enable your breeding kink,” you smirk, locking your legs around Spencer’s waist. The movement pushes him inside of you a little deeper, and he whines. 

Spencer rolls his eyes, half exasperated and half endeared. “I don’t have a breeding kink.”

“You do, baby,” you giggle. “And getting pregnant wouldn’t be so bad.”

Spencer’s eyes are so wide they look like they could pop out of his skull. “You– You can’t just say things like that! And we are not having a conversation about family planning while I’m inside of you.”

”Now would be the perfect time to talk about having kids,” you offer, but Spencer glares at you.

Smiling, you wriggle your hips just to get a rise out of Spencer. It works, you note, as he whimpers with the movement. ”Okay, so after you’re done with me?” 

“We’ve only been dating for three months,” Spencer says, furrowing his brows. 

“I know,” you nod. “And I mean it. You— You make me want to. Consider kids, I mean.”

Spencer sighs, but you see the way his eyes soften, hear the warmth in his voice as he tries to seem normal and calm about all of this. “Okay. I’ll make you cum and then we can talk about kids.”

“Aww. How romantic,” you say, as Spencer leans forward to kiss you again, and to fuck you again.

While you’d never seriously thought about having kids, Spencer is certainly making you reconsider.

[hallowxiu]

How the Brothers Would Deal with MC's Mortality

Mammon:

You casually brought it up as a joke

Probably something like “i’m here for a good time, not a long time” or “why should i care what happens in 100 years? It’s not like i’ll be around to care”

Would probably confuse Mammon at first as to why you wouldn’t be around, but he would put the pieces together in the middle of the night when trying to sleep.

A whole, eyes snapping wide opening and flinging out of his bed kind of moment.

Mammon would worry himself sick

Yes, he knows humans can die, hell, he used to mock you for being so frail when you first came to the Devildom, but now? 

Well, now things are different. How he feels about you is different

He's spending all his money on ways to keep you kicking longer. 

Anything he can think of that’ll help, he’s buying it. Vegetables, fruits, protein powder, comfortable clothes, a nice pillow, vitamins, shampoos- anything. He has no idea where to start, so he just starts grabbing everything. 

I mean, something will have to help, right? 

If you notice he looks panicked, don’t point it out, it’ll only make it worse. Unless you want to be smothered to death from his affection and worry, then by all means. ;)

Leviathan:

Look, he can barely handle his favorite anime characters dying, so you? Yeah, no, that’s way too much. 

Nothing actually popped up to remind Leviathan of your mortality, it was because of Satan throwing his books all around the house that did it. 

Suddenly, it was all he could think about. How did he not think of this before? 

Leviathan is no Satan though, and he’s certainly not Lucifer. Researching medical documents and trying to think of things to keep you alive longer are a little over his head. That being said, there were some things he could do.

Leviathan dove into his own research that would be within his realm of understanding, studying that humans who have more positive mindsets and who are less exposed to depressing forms of media, may live longer than the average person. This- this was something he could work with. 

Suddenly, you were constantly being invited to his room, Leviathan having a variety of slice-of-life anime for you to watch with him, all of which had happy endings to boot. If an anime was even remotely depressing, he made sure to keep that out of reach. 

Video games? He’s keeping it safe; he’s not risking anything here. If it’s not similar to Stardew Valley, Animal Crossing, Dreamlight Valley, or The Sims (which must be on a good day), you’re just not playing it. Kingdom Hearts if you’re lucky. 

Satan:

Would do an insane amount of research 

Likely overheard the topic on a news segment about the tragically short lifespans of humans before it all clicked together.

Satan, unlike the other brothers, has never experienced death before, so while it sounds silly, he never had reason to think of you dying.

Looks up humans who had long lifespans to see how he can implement those things into your lifestyle.

Books will be littered everywhere (although that’s not really unusual, but what is would be the topic of said books- The Long Lives of Humans, Human Lifestyle for Dummies 101, The Road to Human Immortality, etc. etc.)

This is when Satan learns just how easy it is for a human to kick the bucket.

Heart attacks, brain aneurysms, strokes, seizures, cancer, the list goes on and on and it’s starting to scare him. He didn’t know humans could just drop dead. 

He’s going to start researching curses to increase your lifespan, or at the very least he’s going to make sure you’re careful as hell. 

You won’t even get as much as a cut without him being aware of it; he’s going to hover around and mother hen the absolute shit out of you. 

Try not to get too annoyed with him though, it all stems from good intentions. 

Asmodeus:

He’ll be damned if his shopping partner for life is going to die on him.

Asmo isn’t stupid; if anything he’s pretty emotionally aware. He's known for a long time just how short the lifespan of humans is.

But still, it came in the form of a nightmare. One where he couldn’t save you, despite giving his best efforts. The way you died was tragic, long before your life should have ended. 

This sent Asmo somewhat into a frenzied state trying to find things to keep you alive once he woke up. 

Vitamins, vitamins, vitamins

Humans benefit from vitamins, right? Surely you’d benefit from Devildom vitamins then. If it’ll increase the lifespan of a demon, he sees no reason why it wouldn’t increase your lifespan. 

Of course, it really only gives you nicer nails and shinier hair. 

He’s 10x more intense with your morning and night routines. 

He will be unloading all his facial creams on you, and telling you the benefits of each one and how it might add a few years to your lifespan. 

You want to stay up late at night to finish homework? Maybe watch a movie? Yeah, no, not on Asmo’s watch. 

Your ass is going to bed every night at 10pm, right along with him. You do realize you’ll be getting exactly 8 hours of sleep each night, too, right? 

Beelzebub:

Regarding his trauma with Lilith, it came as no surprise when he started to fret over your well-being. 

Poor Beel saw an article that discussed how tragically easy it is for a human to die. The cherry on top? How they could die from simply overeating. 

Overeating isn’t a concept Beel is overly familiar with (because to him, it’s never overeating), and while he knew most people couldn’t keep up with his eating habits, he didn’t think it could actually cause harm to a human, let alone kill them. 

Grocery trips are now a more anxiety-inducing event. 

He’s suddenly paranoid that any of the Devildom food could and will kill you. Are you allergic to anything? How would you even know? 

What if one day he serves you his favorite boiled dragonhead and you just drop dead at the dinner table?? No, that will never do. 

There’s a list of Devildom foods that he knows for sure you can have without dying, but then comes the issue of portion control. How much is too much for a human? 

Beelzebub swore he would never lose another loved one again, and it’s a promise he intends to keep. From now on, you will only eat what he deems safe. 

You want to try a new food in the Devildom that you’ve never had before? You better get some seriously good convincing skills if you want him to cave in. For someone who only ever thinks with his stomach, he’s surprisingly stubborn. 

Belphegor:

He’s still plagued with nightmares about Lilith, especially since he still thinks it’s his fault. Tack that on to the way he blamed you and the rest of the human race for it? The man is walking trauma. 

 Like Asmodeus, this was brought on by nightmares about you dying. Different from Asmo’s, however, you usually died by his hand. Naturally, considering your tumultuous history. 

Belphegor, unlike his brothers, takes a different approach. He just doesn’t approach you at all. 

What better way to keep your lifespan long than by staying away from you altogether? 

Is it something that he wants? Of course not! But how can he trust himself to never hurt you again? To never kill you again. 

He can’t. 

So, he locks himself away in his room, sleeping most of the day or just avoiding the areas you normally like to lounge. 

On a normal day, almost everyone in the household, including yourself, would notice this behavior change. However, since you’re now being cornered by all the brothers and their concerns about your lifespan, it’s easy for Belphegor’s absence to slip your mind. 

This hurts Belphegor, but at the end of the day, he believes this is for the best.

Lucifer: 

Lucifer didn’t need a reminder of your short lifespan; if anything, it’s something he’s thought plenty about. 

Lucifer has trauma, we all know that much. After Lilith, he’s absolutely terrified of losing another loved one to something outside of his control.

And your lifespan is not something that’s out of his control. At least not how he sees it, anyway. 

If you thought he was overbearing or overprotective before, brace yourself. He’s going to step it up several notches. 

No excess of junk food, no more pulling all-nighters, no more sitting around the house gaming all day, and definitely no more overexerting your use of magic. He’s no fool, he knows the toll your magic could eventually take on your body. 

Honestly? He wasn’t this bad until his brothers started to panic about your mortality, and though Lucifer told himself he was above such nonsense, he quickly found himself taking all the precautions they were taking (and then some). 

Fortunately, if you find yourself becoming overwhelmed, they’ll be more than willing to listen to you (granted you take some of their concerns into account).

[sooniebby]

Restraining.. but it’s the guys weight holding you down.. bonus if he’s your sister’s ex boyfriend ;) bottom male reader, reader is mentioned to have a cock. Spanking, feminization, and light degradation. (Adding dub con just to be safe but reader consents to everything)

Smut idea where reader ends up getting fucked by his sister’s ex boyfriend and finds out he likes bigger and older men :3

After your sister, Karina,’s break up with her boyfriend, she’s been a bit of a mess. Even though she was the one who initiated the breakup. She never told you why but she certainly told you what she’d miss from her ex.

His smile, his hair, his hands, and his big co—

Yeah, it was getting annoying. You were honestly glad. You didn’t like the guy. Some bad boy wannabe wearing leather jackets and riding a motorcycle. He was.. like in his mid 20s! Too old to be a bad boy! You were at least glad you’d never see him again

But that wasn’t true when you ended up seeing him in your home… the day you were trying on a pair of shorts Karina got you.. the shorts were way too short for you—your ass cheek was basically popping out and you couldn’t even wear underwear with it.

And now here you were, gripping your bedsheets tightly with the shorts around your legs as you bit down on your lip. A constant force pushing up toward the headboard as he fucked you like an animal.

You could’ve said no. And really, you were about to.. but damn, he was kinda hot. Tall, lean, and tanned skin. Jet black hair.. why did Karina break up with him..? Personality maybe?

Fuck a personality right now though…

Anyway, while you lose your virginity to your sister’s ex boyfriend, all you could do was whimper and whine. You tried moving but his body was pressed down onto you, forcing you to take whatever he gave you

And what he gave you was harsh deep thrusts. Easily reaching your bundle of nerves and earning muffled screams from your lips. You shifted underneath him at each graze of your prostate but was only met with a swift spank to your ass.

He didn’t even say much for you to drop your shorts. A simple raised eyebrow and a smirk got you wet. Which is… very virgin like but at least you’re not a virgin now :)

You didn’t even think about how weird it was that this guy, who was about eight years older than you and dated Karina for almost two years was fucking you without any sense of guilt.

But fuck… your sister was right. He did have a huge cock.. but suddenly you thought about your sister getting fucked by this guy and now you felt disgusted. You tried to move again but was met with another harsh spank and him pushing you even deeper onto the bed

It looked like you weren’t leaving anytime soon. And embarrassing enough, you took it. Future you would deal with the guilt of fucking Karina’s ex.. present you would enjoy your first ever dick

“You do this for everyone?”

Oh. He can talk? You only mewled as his thrusts seemed to only get quicker, the sounds of skin slapping filling your room.

“Dressing in these type of shorts,” he tugged at the shorts around your legs. “How many did you seduce with these?”

You could only try to ignore him and just enjoy the feeling of getting fucked but he grabbed your hair and pulled. A cry left your lips as you glanced at him, a faint smirk on his lips.

“You’ve always been cute.. glad to know your pussy is tighter than Karina’s”

You couldn’t help but mewl at his words, your tight heat tightening around his cock. His smirk only grew—his eyes staring knowingly into yours.

He’s got you now.

You came soon after that in embarrassment. How could that even make you cum? But he loved it. His past thrusts were fast but it felt absent.. now, he was fucking you like he was wanting to breed you.

Your lips were continuously open, loud and unabashed screams left your lips. Each thrust caused your body to push forward violently.

“Look at you… taking me well for your first time. Y’know.. I think I know why some people love fucking virgins.”

His thrusts slowed down, earning a whine from you. He was slow and methodical which was good at first but randomly, he slammed into you, earning a cry in pleasure from you.

“Not for the innocence… but for showing someone new how good it is to be fucked. And the discovery of themselves.”

He slammed into you again.

“I think I don’t want this to be a one time thing. This pussy’s too good to give up.” He gave a soft squeeze to your ass.

“…’s not a pussy…” you slurred out, practically cock drunk at this point.

He only grinned. His thrusts were slow as he brushed against your prostate before stopping right there as he painted your insides. You gasped in disbelief, feeling the warm liquid.

He pulled out and got off from on top of you. You continued to stay on the bed—just hoping he’d leave now so you could sleep in shame for sleeping with Karina’s ex.

But you heard the sound of a camera going off. With the last bit of energy you had, you turned yourself around to look at him as he smirked at his phone.

He turned the phone to you, showing you the picture he took. Your bare ass as cum dripped out of your fucked out hole. Luckily you were face wasn’t in the picture but if someone had been in your room, they could tell it was your bedroom based on the posters you could see in the background

“Safe keeping. I had to delete Karina’s nudes… so I need some new material. You’ll be giving me more, yeah?”

You could only stare at him dumbly as he grabbed his shoes and slipped them back on. He grabbed his jacket and looked back at you. You could feel his eyes roaming your body before looking down at your hole that was still leaking with cum.

A twisted smirk was on his lips at the sight. You blushed in embarrassment and looked away.

“It’ll be fun helping you learn about yourself more… I’ll see you soon. Wear those shorts again, alright?”

With that—he was gone. But the only thing on your mind right now was…

Why was he even here in the first place?

And uh.. more importantly—what was he going to do with that picture?

I’ve always liked the idea of sister exbf but only if the bf is older and a bit mean, but I certainly think I can make him meaner for next time.. how do you guys like him?

Tag list: @the-ultimate-librarian @mello-life69 @kiiyoooo @chill-guy-but-cooler @nakedtoasterr @ofclyde @smellwell @tomoeroi @kaedezu @loivre @millecka @iwishtobeacrow

[januaryembrs]

NEARLY BROUGHT ME TO MY KNEES | Spencer Reid x Prentiss!Reader [2]

Description: FIVE times Spencer thinks he might like you + the ONE time he knows.

Word length: 20k

Trigger Warnings: death, murder, Lauren arc, spencer's addiction mentioned, Diana's schizophrenia mentioned, vomit, alcohol, blood, usual criminal mind warnings. mommy AND daddy issues in the prentiss family.

previous chpt | next chpt

‘so sweet with a mean streak

nearly brought me to my knees.’

The one where he tries flirting

Emily tutted at her as the girl blindly shoved the Lucky Charms in her mouth, her tongue staining a gross blue-green colour from the additives as she read from a battered copy of Anna Karenina. Bugsy had been living with her for just two weeks now, since her impromptu fleeing from the altar, and Emily’s certainly had a good insight into the life of the twenty three year old. 

Yes, it was her birthday next week. No, she didn’t act her age anymore than she had at twenty. 

“Bug, slow down.” Emily urged, a rogue orange marshmallow dribbling down her chin as she plunged the spoon in before she’d even swallowed the last mouthful, “You get sick when you eat too fast,” 

Bugsy waved her off with the utensil, not even ripping her eyes away from the page in front of her, scooping up the marshmallow with the side of her finger and popping it into her mouth. 

Emily rolled her eyes, downing a few sips of her coffee and heading for the stairs, knowing her ride would be here any moment and she still had yet to change her shirt from the one she’d spilled toothpaste down not ten minutes earlier. 

“Niko needs breakfast when you’re done,” The older of the two shouted down to the breakfast table, a streak of tabby grey running under her feet at the sound of food. Bugsy had insisted she bring her new feline friend into Emily’s apartment, and as much as she’d hated the way she nearly tripped over the chubby bastard almost every day they’d been here, she certainly had a fondness for him. 

Bugsy hummed in acknowledgement, though she scraped the edges of her bowl clean by the time the cat in question hopped up onto the counter in search of her leftover milk. 

“This is not for you, you have too much already,” She scolded, shovelling the last few sugary pieces of cereal into her mouth right as the door knocked. 

She dogeared her page, gulping down a quick sip of Emily’s coffee, cringing when she caught it was much too strong for her liking, and heading for the door, her sister yelling to her again. 

“Bug, can you get that- wait- are you wearing pants?” 

She certainly wasn’t, having rolled straight out of bed in a pyjama shirt and underwear, and towards the promise of breakfast, nor as she swung the front door to the apartment open before Emily had a chance to rush down the stairs.

Spencer could have laughed when he saw her, all too reminiscent of the first time he’d met her. The boxers that hugged her legs beneath a large top he was entirely convinced was not hers, though her face lit up in excitement to see him. 

“Good morning!” He thrust a coffee to-go into her hand, still warm even from where it had been jostled around in his car.

“You’re my saviour,” She grinned, sipping on the sweet beverage with bright eyes, “Cute sweater vest-” 

She was quickly manhandled behind the door by two firm hands, Emily’s face enraged as she glared down at her sister where she was now out of sight from the doctor. 

“What did I tell you about wearing pants? Huh? You nearly gave Mrs Jensen a heart attack last week,” Emily hissed, as Bugsy shrugged, remembering the look of horror the old woman across the hall had given her when she’d taken the trash out in a hoodie and booty shorts.

“It’s Spencer,” She poked her head around the door, despite Emily’s shoving, like she was taming a wild animal, “You don’t mind, do you?”

He shook his head, an amused and easy smile on his face as he watched the sisters bicker, not entirely unlike the way he and Emily tended to pick at one another. 

“Not at all; I agree pants are loathable,” And he wasn’t lying. He tried to go for looser fitting trousers or sweat pants, hating the way the tight fabrics restricted his legs, rubbed his skin, making him want to itch and squirm inside his body. 

“Don’t you start,” Emily pointed at him, huffing as she stepped out of the apartment, “You know she gets all worked up and weird on sugar,” 

“Hey, I’m the last person to deny someone a coffee,” He replied, and the two turned to head back to his car, not before he threw the younger woman a look over his shoulder and a wave. 

“Go save the world, kiddos.” She waved back, sipping her coffee indeed with bare legs that would have a nun blushing, “Curfews at nine, Doctor Reid, I expect both of you home for dinner!” She nudged the door closed with her hip before Niko could run out after Emily, and Spencer chuckled to himself, shaking his head. 

“See, told you,” Emily sniggered, rolling her eyes, “Weird,” 

Though that wasn’t quite the word he’d have used. 

–

A killer, so far as they had been able to profile from the four bodies, was targeting women he picked up in night clubs in Atlanta. Most of the team, except Derek, had outgrown the clubbing scene, though Spencer didn’t quite think he’d ever been in it to start with. They all went to O’Keeffe’s usually once a month or so for a quick drink, but it was not big on his list. 

Rossi, Reid and Derek stared at the puddle of blood on the sidewalk, wincing as Emily leaned over the balcony, the five story drop making her tug her lip in between her teeth. 

This woman must have been terrified by something, someone, to see this as a better way out. 

“Maybe she fought back,” Hotch speculated behind her, drawing her attention back to the cleaning equipment scattered over the floor, entirely different to the last three crime scenes where they had been arranged neatly into a triangle, “And when Becky fought back, his routine was compromised, cause he knew the police would respond,”

“Or she could have jumped,” Emily responded gravely, shaking her head at the carpet beneath her boots, “Her nervous system is pumping adrenaline, her fight or flight response kicks in?” Both were equally plausible options, but not ones they had time to entirely pick over. 

“He’s struck two Fridays in a row, and if his routine’s been interrupted, it might compel him to strike again,” Hotch said, his arms crossed tightly over his chest, his brow furrowed deeper than it usually was. 

“It’s Saturday, the clubs will be packed tonight,” Emily replied, her eyes sad, worried. 

“Take a look at the classes the Unsub might have taken, we need to generate a suspect pool as soon as possible,” Her boss ordered, and she nodded heading for the door before she stopped, looking at him with a grimace he didn’t quite understand, “What is it?”

“Bugs-my sister used to work as a shot girl in a club.” She said after a moment of thought, “She could smell a rat from a mile away; said most girls who work in bars get this sixth sense about guys with bad intentions, so they know when to cut them off earlier than most,” 

Emily looked at him for a moment, and he seemed troubled, hesitant as she was to even tease the idea to him, before he sighed, rubbing a hand over his forehead. 

“Call her in.” He said through an outbreath, gritting his teeth the way he did when he was in between a rock and a hard place. 

Rock being another girl murdered by tonight with a huge opportunity to catch the guy in the act missed. Hard place being a twenty-three year old risking her skin for his team for a third time. He hated the paperwork she brought him, hated the look on her face the day Spencer and Derek had dragged her out of that chapel bloodied and shaken even more. 

“But she wears a vest under her clothes, and she stays with Reid and Morgan,” He reasoned, “And just purely scouting; if the Unsub strikes, she gets out there like any other civilian.”

Emily nodded, her hand routing through her pockets for her phone already, “Couldn’t agree more,” She said, hitting the call button with a sigh. She just hoped this time her baby sister wouldn’t be making any drastic calls like throwing herself in the Unsub’s way. Though, Emily knew Spencer wouldn’t let her take another hit for him ever again. Not after the way he’d seemed so distraught the moment she’d been dragged from that room, his eyes all but glistening with tears when he’d seen her on the bed, bloodied and beaten for his sake. 

No, Emily could stake her life on the fact Reid would go down swinging before that ever happened to her again. 

-

“When you think about the nature of serial crimes, it’s amazing there aren’t more predators in clubs,” Spencer said, hoping the pretty girls he’d managed to snag into conversation didn’t hear the way his voice stuttered. This was so far out of his depth, the entire club atmosphere suffocating him worse than any tight pants ever could. The music was too loud, the heavy bass making him wince, the air was too close, too warm, the bodies that kept shoving past him made him want to shower for two hours straight and then wash his hands as well. He’d turned down the drink Derek had offered him, knowing the exact amount of bacteria that swarmed the ice behind the bar, on the rims of the glasses, on the taps- 

Spencer was more than overwhelmed. And talking to beautiful women was not helping his flushed demeanour whatsoever. 

“I mean, excessive amounts of alcohol, countless opportunities for date rape drugs, not to mention suprisingly risky behaviour being pursued,” He counted off, his satchel strapped tightly to his side, “All right, so who wants a flyer?” The three women turned their nose up in awkward smiles, the tallest pushing past him with little more than an outright scoff, the other girl following her like lost dogs, “Nobody? Okay, all right,” He said, his face crestfallen at their reaction, though he wasn’t so unused to it. Girls tended to react that way when he spoke, his entire high school career had been the same. Infact, the only girl other than his co-workers who ever bothered to listen when he spoke was-

“I’ll take one,” A voice came from behind him, the same one he had incidentally been thinking of since they’d left Emily’s apartment, and he could already tell she was smiling before he whipped around to see her slinking through the crowd. 

He was ready to retort something clever, but felt his words congeal in his throat. He had thought, that day when he’d stopped the elevator and seen her in a sodden wedding dress, that he had seen her at her most beautiful. Yes, her makeup had been tracking down her face with her tears, her hair sticking to her cheeks, her expression weepy. But she had reminded him of a star, glistening with the rain, the water shimmering off the snow white fabric, it had taken his breath away then, even when she’d thrown her arms over his shoulders, as if he was the only thing that she could grab on to for safety. 

But that dress was nothing like the one she wore now. 

It was nothing extravagant, and truthfully he’d seen at least ten girls in this club alone that had gone way more lavish than she had bothered to on such short notice. But, Spencer couldn’t help but take her whole image in as she shoved her way in front of him, an easy smile on her face. 

“Beats boxers and pyjama shirts, huh?” She twirled cheekily, warming under his gaze that blinked heavily at her. The dress had been an old thing she’d bought for a frat party, when she’d felt particularly sorry for herself and was going out looking for a bonehead jock to take home. It fit her nicely, complimented the areas she wanted it to, hid the others. A good fail safe option for a last minute night out like this. Covered the kevlar vest Hotch and Emily had wrangled her into.

Not her finest moment, being jumped on by her older sister as her boss forced the bullet jacket over her head; the new girl, Jordan, staring in discomfort as she’d cursed both of them out colourfully for ruining her outfit, but the way Spencer seemed to gulp heavily made her smile wider. 

“You look…” He swallowed again, his fingers digging into the flyers in his hand. Hot. She looked hot. Hot enough that he felt his face flush with the same feeling, he hoped she couldn’t see the way he blushed beneath the club lights, “Beautiful,” He settled on, because ‘hot’ was an entirely Derek word to use. 

“So you keep telling me,” Bugsy preened under his gaze, grinning like she knew something he didn’t. Grabbing one of the flyers from his sweaty palms gently, she took a look at the general sketch, not noticing the way he had yet to tear his eyes off her, “Alright, this the guy?” 

“Yeah, we think he has a mark of some sort- like a birthmark or a scar over his left eyebrow,” He informed, corralling her towards where Morgan stood, his own eyes widening at the girl’s attire. 

They knew she was coming to help scout the scene, they didn’t realise she’d come so ready. Derek immediately felt stupid for doubting her. 

“Woah, did someone call the fire department, because you’re about to set the damn sprinklers off,” He teased, her face lighting up at the man she knew had a way of making her feel a million bucks every time he saw her. 

Emily said he had little sisters of his own, and maybe that was how he knew just what to say. He had many years of experience being the best big brother. 

“Oh, please, you guys spoil me,” She snickered, though her eyes scanned the crowd for a general scope of the club. Safe to say she did not miss the eight pm till four am shifts she used to pull, nor did she miss the drunk bodies swaying around her, the men who would get handsy, the girls who would get scrappy, “So, how’s it going?” 

“Not good, I gave the profile to one woman and she asked if I was the unsub,” Spencer sighed, running a hand through his rogue curls, the humidity of the stuffy bar making them tighten around his ears just that bit more. “How are you doing?” 

“Well, I gave out all my flyers,” Derek said smugly, though Spencer’s eyebrows raised, a smile teasing at his lips. 

“Oh yeah? How many phone numbers did you get?” Bugsy snorted at his words, looking between the men with a smirk. 

“None, I’m working the case here, kids,” Derek tutted, to which Spencer and Bugsy looked at eachother with identical doubt, flicking their gaze back to Morgan. He huffed, “Okay, four were offered, but I didn’t take any of them.” 

Spencer’s jaw dropped, face scrunching in confusion how Morgan was so charismatic with women even when he wasn’t trying. 

“Alright, I’m gonna go grab more flyers from the van. You,” He clapped a hand on Spencer’s shoulder, “Need to relax, man. Remind me to teach you the basics on picking up girls. And you,” Derek pointed to where Bugsy nodded patiently, “Make sure wonder boy doesn’t get eaten alive. And stay together.” 

She nodded again, watching him leave through the crowd; already a woman grabbed on his arm for his attention, where she watched him politely decline with one of those flirty smoulders he’d mastered. 

“I don’t get how he does it. I mean, I get he has the whole body of a God thing going for him,” Spencer sighed, as the two of them went back out into the crowd, scanning for a group of girls who looked particularly sober enough to listen, “But, he just has this way, you know. I’ll don’t think I’ll ever have the way,” 

“Don’t put yourself down like that,” She chastised, nudging him affectionately with her elbow, “You’re very beautiful yourself, you know? You don’t need some stupid way, you just need to be yourself,” 

She said it as if it was nothing, as if it hadn’t just hit him in the chest that she thought he was attractive, though he still remembered that first day they’d met when she assumed he was a stripper. 

His heart swelled in his chest. 

“You really think so?” He asked unsure, waiting for her to laugh in his face and tell him it had just been a tease, she was good at those. But she was never cruel. Never to him. He didn’t know why he’d expected it. 

“Absolutely! I’ve seen like three girls already giving you goo-goo eyes. Believe me, you got the looks,” She simpers, watching his eyes scan the crowd to look for the supposed culprits. 

“So, what, it’s my personality they don't like?” He asked, though he knew that was more than likely the case. He’d always been told he buzzed in people’s ears like a fly, like he was simply background noise the greater population wanted to tune out. 

He knew that would be it. It didn’t stop the small stab of hurt in his stomach however. 

“If someone doesn’t like your personality, that is a them problem, Spencer, not you,” Bugsy was quick to snap, the joking lessening in her eyes as she caught his dejected expression, “Girls like it when you talk about something you enjoy, something you know what you’re talking about. Which should be easy, since you know everything. What do you feel most comfortable talking about?” 

“Statistics,” He said with a nod, to which she looked at him fondly.

“Okay, we have statistics as a backup option. Anything else?” She looked at him, the light bouncing off her eyes in a way that had him pause to think. 

“Magic?” He offered, and she smiled even wider, if that was even possible.��

“Magic! Perfect, girls love feeling magical,” She beamed, nudging him again with her elbow, and the two of them walked over to the bar, “Show me then, Gandalf. What moves would you pull on me if I was a girl?”

He blinked at her, “Are you … not a girl?” He asked, pure bewilderment on his face as he stole a few napkins from the counter. 

She snickered, “Okay, if I wasn’t me. If you didn’t know me,” 

“If I didn’t know you, I’d be way too nervous to even talk to you. And you definitely wouldn’t want to talk to me,” He said as he fiddled with the paper between his obnoxiously long fingers, folding the sheets into miniature shapes. 

She chuckled at him, shaking her head. It had never been like this with them before. Sure, she teased him, like she always had, but he was teasing back. Complimenting her with a seriousness beyond just being nice. 

Something was different in him since the day Cyrus dragged her away. And if that hadn’t done it, then seeing her every morning for two weeks had changed the boyish anxiety that had lingered even then. 

“Stop stalling and show me these tricks of yours,” She bit playfully, though the grin she gave him was genuine as she saw something mischievous flash in his eyes. 

“Patience is virtue, patience is virtue-” He murmured, fiddling with the short, plastic straws they kept at the bar, “Now for this to work, I’m going to need a beautiful assistant. Do you think you could find one for me-” 

She smacked his arm, and he snickered. She shook her head, fighting her own laugh overcoming her. 

Maybe she was right. Talking about something he loved made him feel entirely at ease, like he controlled every angle their conversation took, and the air between them had taken this odd electric turn he wasn’t expecting like someone had pumped a thousand volts under his skin.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” He replied, holding out one of the straws, about as plain and simple as it would be if it were in a drink, “But I will need some magic words,”

“Ofcourse,” She drawled, her cheeks hurting from how tight she was smiling, “What are they?”

“Magic words are, ‘I’ll be there’” He instructed, fiddling with the cuffs of his sleeves as he watched her frown, and he pointed the straw at her mouth like a microphone, “You got it?” 

“Yep,” She responded, even though the confusion read clear as day on her face. He tapped the straw on her nose and cleared his throat. 

“3, 2, 1,” He tapped it to her temple, then to each of her shoulders, “Go on a date with me?” 

“I’ll be there,” She responded, and in a strobe of light the single instrument became a trio of origami roses, stuffed into the straws as stems. 

Her brain caught up to her as he gently placed them in her hand, her eyes gazing at him like he had just presented her with a 24 carat diamond, though in reality it was nothing more than a silly trick with napkins and plastic. 

“Spencer,” She said earnestly, and he could have sworn her voice quivered for a split second, before she shook her head at him, punching him on the hip gently, “You are the most humble man I’ve ever met. You do that to any other girl and you’re getting laid, I’m telling you,” 

He rubbed his chin bashfully, both of them catching the way the waitress behind the bar watched him with large, blue eyes Bugsy could have bathed in. She was gorgeous, and she stared at Spencer as if she’d been the one given roses. 

Attracted. Interested. 

“Talk to her,” Bugsy whisper-yelled, nodding over to the barmaid who busied herself with another order, though they both saw the way her flicking glances to the two of them as she scooped ice, “She would have seen if a guy like that frequented somewhere like here, talk to her,”

“What- no-” He protested, but his eyes widening as Bugsy leaned over the bar to flag the woman down with that playful charisma of hers, not missing the way a few heads turned as the dress tightened around her ass as she bent forward. 

He felt his chest flash with anger, glaring at the men, hoping it was enough to ward them off. Her hand enclosed around his wrist, drawing his attention back to the bartender who watched him with a sweet face. He had to admit she was attractive. 

“This is my very best friend, Spencer,” Bugsy told the woman, who smiled at him, and the Prentiss girl lifted his hand up to wave at her like he was a ragdoll, “Spencer, wanted to show you something, didn’t you, Spence?” 

Raising her eyebrows at him, nodding to the flyers in his hand. 

“I’m gonna go dance,” She fibbed, knowing she was going to go scout out the crowd to see if any guys fit the profile, nudging him a little harder than before, “Remember what we talked about. I’ll be by the DJ,” 

Grinning encouragingly, he watched her swoop into the crowd like it was second nature, not missing the collection of guys who watched her every move; she captured the room when she moved, when she smiled, when she politely excused herself past a group of girls that tried to pull her into their circle with friendly cheers. 

He did another one of his tricks for Austin, he’d come to learn was the name of the girl behind the bar, but it hadn’t felt the same, not even when she gave him her number unprompted, even as she flirted, smiled prettily, batted those sea blue eyes at him. It wasn’t the same. 

He worried for a moment that the electricity he’d felt was reserved only for Bugsy, but he squashed it down faster than he could confront the idea. 

2. The one where he nearly dies

“I don’t know how to do this,” JJ confessed, her bluebell eyes filled with tears as she stared out of her boss’ office and into the bullpen full of officers, scientists and even the damn military tearing through pages and pages of resources for answers. 

Anthrax. A weapon of mass destruction they’d already had a small dose of, was on the move through the BAU’s own city. And they each had strict instructions to not alert their loved ones. 

“I can’t stop thinking about Henry,” She whimpered through a strong facade as she turned to Hotch, and she saw the same guilt eating him up in those dark eyes of his that rarely let anything slip. 

He had Jack. He had Haley, even with the divorce papers signed so long ago. He had people at risk too. And yet she couldn’t stop seeing her precious little boy’s face as he lay back in his pushchair and enjoyed the sights of the park, the same park that had just been targeted with an airborne disease-

“He goes for a walk almost every single day at Potomac Park,” She sniffed, the nausea chewing away at her brain as she recounted the lesions on that poor teenage girls skin, that's going to be Henry, that’s going to be Will, “What type of mother am I if I don’t atleast call and tell them to stay home?” 

“JJ, we can’t,” Hotch said, though he felt his own dam start to tear down as he tried not to think of what could possibly happen to his own sweet son. 

“I know, but-” Her throat bobbed, “It-it’s not just me- Emily’s worried about Bugsy. She told me she cuts through the park on the way to her lectures- she has one every day this week- Hotch-”

It was true. She had caught Emily in her own turmoil as the woman sped off to grab a drink seconds after chugging down the dose of Cipro they’d all been given that morning. She’d caught her filling a glass of water until the liquid started leaking down the sides and went over her shaking fingers, and even then she’d had to tug her friend out of whatever rabbit hole the words ‘Media Blackout’ had sent her down. 

“I understand you both have people you want to protect,” Hotch was the voice of reason, as he always was, and it stung her to see his face so cold since she knew he was drowning his own sorrows behind it, “But if we all called home and used this information to give us an advantage other people don’t have, is that the right thing to do?” 

She bit her lip, knowing he was right. She just prayed on everything she had Will would stay home with Henry today, Haley would have a movie night with Jack, and for whatever she had seen in Emily’s eyes earlier, a pure, unadulterated self-loathing, that Bugsy at least took the day off teaching.

JJ prayed, and prayed, and prayed. 

–

She shuffled her notes together as she marked papers at her desk. They let her take the office to herself since she’d been at the University for five months now, gave her free reign of her lectures without having a supervisor like they had the first eight weeks or so. Bugsy enjoyed, surprising as it was to her, the feeling of somewhere that wasn’t the laboratory. Emily and Spencer had forced her to apply for jobs when they caught her binge watching real housewives for the sixth time back to back, of course lacking any bottoms. 

Emily didn’t know why she thought twenty-four year old Bugsy would be any different. They had thought at least that Derek holding her hair back on the night of her birthday party as she threw up copious amounts of jello shots on the sidewalk would be an eye opening moment, but it hadn’t deterred her in the slightest. She had just chucked a handful of gum in her mouth, patted the man on the back and asked Emily to hit up the drive thru on their way home. 

It wasn’t until she got the job did she feel a little bit more responsible, like what she was doing actually affected the people around her. Teaching first year college students was so very different than she’d expected, she was the authority figure. 

She could hear her mother laughing at her now. 

She almost smudged the little smiley face she’d drawn beside one of her student’s B+ as the phone rang on her desk, because she had an office phone believe it or not, and she cleared her throat, trying to sound as grown up as possible whilst also trying not to grin how excited she was to use her new landline. 

“Miss Prentiss speaking, who’s calling?” She said, almost not recognising herself as she squeezed her gel pen in delight. She had this grown up thing down to a tea.

“Hi, Bug.” Spencer’s voice sounded out of breath, and she heard his converse slapping against a linoleum floor fast, as if he was pacing, “I got a quick hypothetical to run through with you,” 

“Y-yeah, sure- Where are you?” She asked, her brows furrowing when he gave a wheezy cough, “Spence?”

“I’m not allowed to tell you, but I’m fine- for now,” He winced as he said the last part, as if it had slipped unintentionally, as if he knew what was coming next. He could practically hear her brain ticking over, “So, when you’re in the lab-”

“What do you mean for now?” She cut him off, standing up from her desk, already collecting her pencils back into their little pink case, “Where’s Emily? Is she okay? Is anyone hurt?”

“Everyone’s fine; as I was saying, hypothetically, when you’re in the lab where would you-” He talked over her right back, his slender fingers flicking through the piles of work, hoping he stumbled on a formula, a sticky note, a damn cheat sheet, anything. 

“Don’t avoid my question, Spencer,” She snapped, and she could already feel the worry lines on her forehead. 

He sighed, hoping she couldn’t hear the way his chest rattled and he choked down a cough. It would only make her worry more. 

“I promise I will tell you what’s going on if you just answer my question,” Spencer rushed, feeling his face growing sweaty, opening the entire cabinet of drawers. “Okay?”

She nodded, biting her nail, as she sat back down. “Okay fine, shoot,”

“Where would you put your valuable items if you didn’t trust your lab partner while the two of you were working together?” He asked, wiping his brow with his sleeve as he held the phone tight to his ear with his shoulder. 

She paused for a moment, “Well it’s standard practice that all jewellery comes off before we get scrubbed, so as not to contaminate anything. I usually put my scrunchie through my rings and tied it back into my hair so they wouldn’t get stolen. I knew some guys who put their watches around their ankles. Basically anywhere we could feel it on us,” 

He cleared his throat again, and she heard him take a few steps, “How’s grading papers going? Did you get a fax machine yet?” 

He was trying to change the subject, trying to take her mind off whatever it was he was doing that required such an urgent and peculiar question. 

“It’s going good, I miss you bringing me coffee; it was like I had a maid who helped me with my crosswords,” She said, biting her bottom lip squeezing her thumb in the middle of her fist to slow the nerves. He tried to pretend he wasn’t smiling hearing that. “Now tell me what’s wrong. Did you go running without your inhaler again? I told you to leave a spare at ours so I could rescue you if you ever-” 

“Bugsy, you’re a genius!” He cried, ignoring the way it made his throat burn, “Remind me to tell you every single day how smart you are- I have to go,” 

“Spence- Spencer-” She tried to cut in, but he had already put the phone down. 

So much for not worrying her, she thought, as she got on the phone to Emily within seconds. 

-

Bugsy all but burst through the hospital doors, apologising when she nearly knocked a stack of files from a nurse's hands, wishing she had an inhaler herself after she had ran all the way from the car park, including the three flights of stairs. 

After calling in sick the rest of the day, and practically volleying her rucksack into the passenger's seat of her car, she had blindly called Emily four more times until the woman answered with a frightened lilt to her voice. 

Spencer was headed to the hospital. Spencer was headed there on full blues with lungs full of an even deadlier strain of Anthrax. Last Emily had heard he was getting worse. Bugsy put her foot down on the pedal even harder. 

She knew the speeding ticket would come any day, and didn't even want to think about the state of her parking. All she cared about the second the lady at the desk had said what room he was in was seeing he was okay, that he wasn’t growing lesions or choking on his own blood or having half of his brain boiled alive. 

Bugsy felt a small spike of panic, if it could even get worse, as she yanked the curtain back to see him asleep, a cannula tucked into his nose, a hospital gown tied over his shoulders. 

Diving for his file that was attached to the end of his bed, she looked through his information to check what meds he’d been given. He once told her he was allergic to narcotics, said he had been since birth, and while she trusted one of the team to have passed the information on, she had to see it for herself that he was stable. 

No narcotics given. Only paracetamol for his fever that was rapidly coming down. She could breathe again. 

She jumped out of her skin when the curtain rail was pulled back a second time, and Derek seemed to startle for a moment too before a tired smile met his handsome face. 

“Where have you been, Baby Prentiss?” His breath knocked out of him when she threw herself at him, a sigh of relief coming from her bitten lips. 

“Oh, thank god you’re okay,” She murmured, and his chuckle echoed through his chest into her ear, “You all worried me half to death,”

“You’re looking very grown up,” He teased as he patted her on the back. And she was. She had taken to wearing maxi skirts and tights, even throwing on a cute blazer for affect, she was the teacher after all. She shoved him away with a smack to the chest. He laughed, holding up the opened pot of jell-o to her face, “Jell-o?”

She gagged, filled with memories of her birthday. 

He shook his head with a smile as she sat down in the seat next to the bed and he spooned the first mouthful of the fruity dessert into his mouth. 

“Is everyone else alright?” She asked, wringing her hands together. She fought back the urge to tuck Spencer’s curls behind his ear, knowing he was sleeping peacefully.

“Stop worrying. Team’s fine; we caught the guy and confiscated his supply. Even saved the last few survivors with you telling Reid where to look,” Morgan watched her jaw feather, and she picked under her nails. 

“I keep telling you guys, I didn’t do anything. I just… spoke to him. He’s the genius, not me,” She said solemnly, staring into her lap with a frown. 

“Not to him. Whole journey back, before the aphasia kicked in, he kept telling paramedics to tell Doctor Kimura it was you who’d figured it out.” Derek said, but it seemed to make her sulk more. 

She said nothing, pulling out her book from her bag to continue reading as she waited for him to wake up, and Derek took it as a sign she was in no mood to talk, god forbid even take a compliment, and opened the magazine he’d grabbed from the cafeteria. 

–

Half an hour and another pot of pudding for Morgan later (she gagged again at the sweet strawberry smell of it), the pair of them sat in silence, reading their own materials when a very sleepy, doe eyed man looked up and frowned.

“Are you eating Jell-O?” Spencer asked, barely noticing the girl on the other side of the bed, who shot up out of her seat as he came around. 

“Hey doc. You have a visitor,” Morgan said with a small smile, Spencer’s face falling into a frown. He looked to the other side of him, just in time to see a worn copy of Middlemarch being flung to the floor and a hand grabbing his clammy ones tightly. 

“Spencer I’m- I’m so mad at you-” She gasped, every soppy feeling of sadness she’d been stewing in leaving her body when she saw his hazel eyes fall to her, “You put the phone down on me and next thing I know you’re in the back of an ambulance nearly flatlining- I’m so-” 

She breathed when she saw his eyes soften. He didn’t think she knew it but he saw the way her eyes glistened, her voice trembled underneath her anger. He felt the way she had yet to let go of his hand, how nice and warm it felt in his palm. 

“I’m sor-” He hadn’t even finished his apology when she had latched onto him, trying not to hug him too tight but hard enough she could tell herself he was still here. He was okay. 

And he could understand. He’d felt the same when they’d found her in that church, when Cyrus had hauled her away after she’d practically offered herself up in exchange for him. He’d known she was braver than she gave herself credit for, but that had stopped his heart right there and then. He had grabbed her in a hug the first chance he’d got even then, even when he barely knew her, when she was Emily’s sister and not Bugsy. Not the woman he’d spent every morning with for weeks bringing her a coffee just the way she enjoyed it, the woman he’d sat with on Emily’s couch with her legs across his lap as they did the puzzles in the morning paper together. She tried to do them, and he would finish them when she got too annoyed by the ones she couldn’t answer. 

“I’m sorry,” He said, his arms gently hugging her back and he felt something wet on his shoulder blade before he knew what it was. He felt even worse for worrying her, squeezing her tighter than was even comfortable for him. 

“Don’t do that to me again,” She said through tears as she settled in his arms. 

He really hoped she couldn’t hear the way his heart pounded. 

3. The one at Haley’s funeral

She had no idea what to say. Emily had always been the one who knew how to talk to people. She had this horrible habit of saying the first thing that came to her head, probably because a lot of the time it was the most real, and people liked real. 

But now wasn’t the time for what was best for her. Haley Hotchner had been murdered. 

She hadn’t spoken to Hotch yet, she’d only met the man a handful of times. But he’d invited her anyway, for the team. For Emily, maybe even Spencer; Emily said he liked when she was around. She couldn’t imagine any other reason she would be there. 

Other than, ofcourse, to be Spencer’s crutch. Literally. Since his real one had broken and he was still limping around with one knee weakened by the bullet wound in it. 

She’d nearly had a heart attack when he’d called from the hospital, again, though this time he’d waited until he’d gotten the all clear to tell her so she didn’t panic quite as much as last time. She’d cursed him out for being so reckless, and requested another week's sick pay to take care of him until he was able to actually walk. It was only a one year contract with the university anyway, she didn’t care if she missed a few days to make sure he was okay. 

“You look very handsome today,” She whispered to him as she hauled him out of the car, minding that he didn't hit his head on the ceiling. He gave her a small smile and tucked her own hair behind her ear seeing it come loose from its braid when she’d leaned down to grab him. 

“Just today?” He asked, and she finally smiled back. She’d been stuck in a bubble in the car; her and Emily both had. They had the same thinking face, he’d realised. 

“Just especially today,” She answered honestly, and he worked on adjusting his black jacket so she could hold onto him comfortably. She was quieter than usual. Feeble, almost. 

“Thankyou, you do too,” He replied, his face scrunching after a moment, “Look pretty I mean,” 

He leaned on her arm, looped it around hers as he tried to be the least amount of imposing as possible. That went about as well as you’d expect for a six foot one bag of bones. 

She gave up after just a few steps, moving his arm to wrap around her shoulder as she walked with him. To anyone else they would easily pass as a couple, especially as she squeezed him tightly to her when the men laid down Hayley’s coffin, and the service began. 

“W.S Gilbert wrote ‘It’s love that makes the world go around’ and if that’s true, then the world spun a little faster with Hayley in it.” Aaron began, his voice strong as his large hands gripped the eulogy like it would give him any comfort. She smiled softly, her eyes glued to the man who stood unmoving for his son, “Haley was my best friend since we were in high school. We certainly had our struggles but if there’s one thing we agreed on unconditionally, it was our love and our commitment to our son, Jack,” 

Bugsy smiled sadly when Jack looked to the floor bashfully. Glancing between the photo on top of the coffin, a beautiful blonde woman grinning back at her with brilliantly happy eyes and a soft face, she saw where he got most of his looks from. 

“Haley’s love for Jack was joyous, and fierce. That fierceness is why she isn’t here today. A mother’s love is an unrivalled force of nature, and we can all learn much from the way Haley lived her life. Haley’s death causes each of us to stop and take stock of our lives. To measure who we are and who we’ve become.” She felt Spencer’s head knock into hers, felt the sniff run through him, and she searched her pocket for a tissue, “I don’t have all those answers for myself, but I know who Haley was. She was the woman who died protecting the child we brought into this world together; and I will make sure Jack grows up knowing who his mother was. And how she loved and protected him. And how much I loved her.” 

If Haley were here today she would tell us not to mourn her death. She would tell us-” Aaron cut himself off with a watery voice, his resolve finally melting as he realised this would be some of his final words to his wife. Bugsy felt her bottom lip quiver in remorse, “She would tell us to love our families unconditionally. And to hold them close because in the end they are all that matter.” 

Spencer felt her tug him closer as she hid the lone few tears from the rest of the mourners and wished more than ever he could press a small kiss to her brow.

–

No, Bugsy was not good with knowing what to say and when. Wasn’t good at cheering people up no matter how much Spencer told her she always made him feel better. Didn’t really know much about how to make someone understand that she cared other than showing them with her whole body. 

So by the time it was her turn to offer condolences, she didn’t bother shaking his hand. That meant nothing to her. That was a business deal, that was an agreement, a formal way to pretend you cared. But she did, she felt terrible for Hotch, wanted to fix him and his sweet son until Haley was right back there to thank her. 

She didn’t shake his hand like everyone else had. He held his hand out for one, his eyes soft and warm, like he could see she was struggling. She brushed past his hand and just pulled him in for a hug, and he wondered if she was always going to greet him that way. 

“I guessed that sorry wouldn’t make anything better so I brought you the biggest bottle of wine the store had,” She murmured into his chest, and she was gobsmacked to hear him chuckle weakly. She felt his hands pat her on the back gently, and he appreciated her candour. “I’ve got some Xanax if you’d really like a treat,” 

She was a breath of fresh air. Aaron truthfully had been sick of people saying they were so sorry for his loss, and he felt like shaking them and yelling, screaming that they hadn’t been the one to kill Haley, Foyet had. 

He pushed all of it down, focusing on the way she’d tucked herself to him like she had the day she’d become a runaway bride dripping rainwater over his bureau floor. 

“She would have really liked you,” Aaron confessed, and they finally parted, and she saw he was smiling like he meant it, not just saying it to make her feel more comfortable being here. “You would have made her laugh,”

He saw the easy expression on her face fade, and she turned to look at her heels, nodding quietly. 

“I would have been lucky to have known her,” She said, handing him the gift bag with a very heavy present inside. “I only wish someone would ever love me the way you love her,’ 

And with that she bid him a smile, and returned to her seat in between Emily and JJ, the pair of them mother henning her all day.

Aaron wished he could have said more to her after that, but before he knew it, someone else was offering him their condolences, and the sadness in her voice was forgotten.

–

The team sat around the table, nursing their beers, or in Spencer and Bugsy’s case a tea. Spencer didn’t want to affect his healing process with alcohol, not that he’d ever been big on the stuff, and Bug said she struggled driving even without the help of a beer, so they chatted between sips from two very fancy china cups. 

Emily and JJ sat to the other side of her talking about how beautiful the flower arrangements were when a small, fawn haired body came wandering over to where Will held a one year old Henry on his knee. 

“Would he like to play?” Jack asked shyly, trying to peer up onto the adults table to see if there were any other kids his age that would like to do something with him. His dad had been busy talking to all those people, and auntie Jessica had been trying to make it round to every table to thank people for being here. He didn’t entirely understand what was happening, in all honesty.

“He’s still a little too small yet honey. In a year or so, you guys can be best friends,” JJ said sweetly as he pulled his chin up to the tabletop and spied the younger woman sitting next to uncle Spencer.

He tottered over to her, where she sat unaware she had a shadow until Spencer's face softened as he looked behind her, and she swivelled around in her seat. 

“Hello,” Jack said quietly, looking up at where she seemed to buffer, feeling eight pairs of eyes on her as she interacted with the small boy.

She had never been good with children, had never been around them since she was their age, even the kids she taught now were all at least eighteen. 

The mantra to absolutely not fuck up the next few moments reverberated around her head. 

She gave him a soft smile, holding out a hand for him to shake, “Hi, Jack. I’m Emily’s sister. You can call me Bugsy,”

His tiny nose scrunched as he watched her, shaking her hand the way dad had shown him how. 

“Bugsy? That’s a weird name,” He said, and she chuckled, “Like the bunny?”

She shrugged, “I guess like the bunny, yeah,” although she had never thought of that before. 

“Would you like to play with me?” Jack asked, and she felt her chest warm unnaturally. He had such a sweet face. It was just like the woman in the picture.

Smiling at him crookedly, she rooted around her bag for the notebook and pens she kept for her to-do lists. Maybe Spencer was rubbing off on her. 

“We could do some drawing if you want?” She offered, showing him the pad with kind eyes. That seemed to satiate him as he grabbed her knee and started pulling himself up to sit in her lap, and she paused. 

Kids were so funny, she realised, she would never just start grabbing someone she just met and asking to climb on their lap. 

She got him comfortable on her knee, not noticing the flashing glances Spencer gave her between his conversation with Kevin, Garcia’s beau, as Jack started drawing a bunny with a human face, that was supposedly meant to be her. 

Spencer watched her giggle as he gave the rabbit a pretty dress, like the one she was wearing, and Spencer had to admit it was a pretty dress she’d gone for today. Had he not been so mournful earlier he thinks he would have blushed how tight she’d held him. 

She showed him how to play noughts and crosses, and she let him win most of them, laughing when he asked to tear out the page from her notebook to show his dad later. 

That is, until the man himself came over to the table of his work colleagues, only to see the group watching their youngest playing with his sweet son. 

“Bugsy,” Hotch said, and her head shot up to him, a guilty look passing over her face, worried she’d overstepped, though the fact he hadn’t said her real name said otherwise, “Can I talk to you for a moment outside, please?”

She blinked, straightening in her seat “O-ofcourse!” Shuffling Jack off her lap as fast as she could without hurting him, smoothing out her dress down as she followed him to the small balcony the funeral home had. It was a classy manor, but she guessed Hotch would have only had the best for Haley. 

“I’m sorry if I overstepped, Jack asked to sit on my lap- and- I’m not good with kids anyway I just didn’t want to tell him no, especially not today-” He put his hand on her shoulder to shut her up, a small smile spreading on his face. It was fatherly and calming, something her own father had been much too busy to ever bother with.  

“Not at all, that’s not why I called you out here,” He reassured, squeezing her gently as he leaned against the railing, taking a deep breath of the midnight air, and he felt his professional mask begin to slip. “I’ve been thinking… about how much help you've been to us over the years. Reid would be dead if it wasn’t for you.” She opened her mouth to protest, and he flashed her a look that said he was serious. “Let me finish,”

She wrung her hands guiltily, “Sorry,” 

“You’re very resilient far beyond your years, you’re incredibly charismatic when you need to be, and you’re by far one of the smartest people your age,” He said, watching her face to see how she felt. He knew she didn’t take compliments well, for some other reason they could dig into any other day. But he needed to say it now, needed her to know now for what he was about to ask her. 

“Whether that is true or not, why are you telling me this?” She asked politely, without the usual bite that went with it when they tried calling her something she wasn’t. 

“I need to take some time off to spend with Jack, try and help him…” He trailed off, unsure as to what he wanted to say. “Help him understand Haley’s not coming home,”

She nodded with a glistening lash line, and grabbed onto his arm gently.

“My team looks to me to be their glue, but I know I can’t keep everyone together and look after my son. Emily said your contract at the University was ending,” He cleared his throat, looking at her again with something vulnerable in his sable black eyes, “So I was wondering if you would reconsider the FBI academy? It’s only twenty weeks, but Rossi and I can put you forward to do the written exams earlier if you’d like, and then Strauss can have you assigned a trainee position at the BAU-” 

“Anything,” She nodded, “Anything you need, I’ll do it,” and he hugged her for once. Maybe it was the way she had said it so willingly, no matter her own reservations about joining the academy, no matter her stubbornness and resistance to her sisters pestering, or even the fact they all talked weekly about how much easier their job would be if she was there. Her and Reid’s brains together were a force to be reckoned with. 

And he knew, the surprisingly kind girl that clutched at him back, would keep his team together, would be the glue to keep their heads on while he took some time to watch his son. 

“Thankyou,” He murmured into her hair, and she forced herself not to get weepy at the grief in his voice. Of all people here, she was the last person who should be allowed to cry. Least of all to him. 

He pulled away from her eventually, cursing himself for letting the front slip, but it was as if she had that effect on everyone on the team, like she had this little way of worming her way between that gap in their chests where their hearts once were before they’d seen the things they had, dealt with the people they had. 

It was for that reason Aaron knew they would be just fine. 

“You know, when I was a kid, mom got letters every day from people with their own agendas against her,” Bugsy said once they’d taken a gulp of cool night air, “They all said the same thing; that they were going to take me for ransom unless she left the country. She didn’t think much of it until a guy started following the car home from school and she decided to get me trained in self defence,” 

Hotch frowned, his chest tightening. He knew how it felt to be a parent on edge for his kid’s safety, but to hear it from the other side cut deeper. 

“Which was fine, I got a pretty mean shot if I say so myself, but eventually it progressed into hostage training, in case…” She swallowed dryly, clearing her throat and picking her nails, “I wet the bed the first time they grabbed me, the whole idea was that I wouldn’t know it was coming. They let me go pretty fast, I don’t think they’d expected the eleven year old to reach for the kitchen knife,” 

Hotch scoffed, shaking his head in horror, though he didn’t doubt her for a second. 

“I slept with it next to my bed for a year, so that next time they came for me, they would think twice and let me sleep in,” She said with a thoughtful smile.

“And did it work?” He asked, watching her run her hands along the stone wall beneath his  elbow. 

“I dunno, but the one guy left pretty quick when I almost took his eye out,” She giggled, and the sound made him laugh quietly as well, “My point is, you’ve got nothing to worry about with Jack. Kids like us, we get made tougher, resilient. And with parents like you two, I’d say he had a pretty good head start.” Bugs said, smiling to herself flicking a glance up to his face that said just how touched he was. Deciding he was likely waiting for her to turn around before he let himself cry, she took a step back, heading towards the reception. “I mean look at me, I turned out alright!” 

She barely heard his small chuckle that faded into a weep before she shut the door behind her, heading back over to the table where the team sat, Jack now with his auntie Jessica, and their eyes fell on her, waiting to hear whatever it was she had to say. 

Taking a deep breath, she gave them an awkward smile, “Guess I’m joining the academy afterall,” 

And that was all she got out before Garcia dived on her with an excited cuddle. 

4. The one with his new hair

He knew he was sweeping his fingers through his hair much more often than usual, his hazel eyes flickering to his reflection in car doors in a way that was almost obsessive. He liked what his barber had done, but that wasn’t the point. 

He was hoping she liked it. 

Bugsy had passed the academy with flying colours, not that anyone had ever doubted her, and had been part of the team for all of two weeks, though he would argue she was BAU way before that. Hotch had figured out a staggered schedule where he could take care of Jack four days a week and work the rest until Jack settled back in at school. 

It had been nearly five months since Haley had died, but it hadn’t gotten any easier for the boy. 

Spencer definitely, definitely hadn’t spent the last two weeks practically breathing down her neck whenever they went out into the field, nor had he definitely not found himself fighting off the grin that threatened his composure when he caught her scribbling notes down to herself whilst Penelope presented the cases. 

And he most definitely hadn’t gone out to get a new hair cut in the hopes she would find him more attractive. 

Definitely not.

And yet, her face was the first one he found himself looking at as he stepped into the office, watching as it trailed up from her notebook, her pink gel pen paused mid sentence as the rest of the team went silent, her face spitting into a grin the minute she saw him. 

“What, did you join a boyband?” Hotch asked in a rare moment of teasing, Derek snickering as Emily nudged his arm with her own chuckle. 

“Can I be your groupie?” Bugsy asked, which made them laugh harder, though she stared at him with a small twinkle in her eye the way she always did when he squirmed under her compliments. 

He hadn’t thought she was being mean, not even when they took a moment to settle down, not even when she smiled wryly at him, her eyes flicking up to his hair twice more before her attention was stolen back by Garcia switching the board. 

“Okay, so what are we looking at here? Late twenties, early thirties?” Emily asked after they quietened, adjusting her bangs over her brows. 

“All single, though two are in committed relationships,” Rossi added, flicking through his own pack of notes. “All living on their own,” 

“Looks like normal suburban houses. Give the Unsub privacy,” Morgan added, his face scrunched in disgust as he looked at the crime scene photos. 

“The differences are more striking than the similarities. Different hair colours, different body shapes.” Reid noted, Bugsy’s handwriting scrawling over her notebook as she tried to capture everything they were saying. 

“What do we know about his MO?” Hotch asked JJ, the blonde woman shaking her head with a grimace. 

“That’s why we were invited in, the abduction sites are pristine,” She said gravely, looking between her team as they seemed to balk at the information. 

“No DNA besides the victims, and there’s no sign of forced entry or struggle,” Bugsy noted in the pack Garcia had given her that morning, along with a little pat to the head for good luck. Before now, in those two weeks, they had only dealt with one kidnapping and one group homicide that had turned out to be one very stupid teen spiking drinks at a pool party. This case would be the worst one she’d seen yet. 

“And the victims aren’t reported until two or three days after they’re abducted,” Emily tailed off the end of her sister, her eyes serious as the team came to the same conclusion. 

He had days to spend as much time with the bodies as he wanted. 

“Two or three days? Women like this don’t just disappear without somebody noticing,” Rossi chimed in again, as JJ clicked onto the next screen handing the remote to Garcia. 

“Yes, which is why I had Garcia dig into their lives a little,” She said, taking a seat next to Hotch to let penelope lead. 

“And I took a look at their online activity, I could easily see what the Unsub was doing,” Penelope said, clicking onto a screen full of the women’s profiles. 

Bugsy couldn’t even say she was shocked. Ever since she was in highschool, friendships, or her lack thereof, had been entirely decided on who had the most likes on their status update. Apparently no one found the girl who read Russian Literature for fun cool, nor did they want anything to do with her. Emily didn’t know she’d sat in the school toilets to eat her lunch for three years straight. Turns out kids from every country were bitches. 

“Social Media profiles?” Her older sister asked, though the surprise was evident on her face atleast. 

“Yeah, facebook, twitter, you name an online life-sharing time suck, these victims were on it,” Penelope said, enlarging the screen for the team to see the specifics, “And if you look at each of their last posts, they say kind of the same thing, ‘Going out of town, Going on a business trip, Going on vacation,’ but when you look at the time and date stamps on each of these, queue the twilight zone music because they were all posted the morning after each of them went missing,”

“The unsub posted them?” Hotch concluded, his natural frown deepening. This Unsub had a way to keep all of his victims hidden for much longer than they’d anticipated. Who knows what he could be doing as they spoke. 

“You know, social networks are an easy way for an unsub to target his victims. These women were especially open, they posted everything from what they had for dinner to where they were going on dates,” Spencer said, looking at the print outs Pen had handed to them. 

“The unsub ‘Friends’ his victim, and then uses it as a cover once he takes them,” Derek said, as Bugsy’s face scrunched in disagreement. 

“What are you thinking, Kiddo?” Rossi asked from her left, as he head shot up to see the team watching her, waiting for her input. 

Surprising to everyone, she was somewhat nervous when she’d started at the BAU. The Bugsy Prentiss, the woman who had caught out parts of the Russian Mob when she was just a college student, was nervous to not mess up in front of them. 

“I understand what Derek’s saying, but nowadays you don’t actually have to be friends with someone to follow them.” She said, picking her fingertips in thought, “A lot of people have hundreds of total strangers they’ve never met on their page; some settings mean you don’t even need to be ‘friends’ in the first place to see what they're posting. The UnSub probably wouldn’t even bother implicating himself in the first place by following them, he could just access their profile and see what they're up to. I think he profiles as patient and organised, and somewhat tech savvy if he’s up to date on the way these medias work,” 

The team watched her carefully, Spencer beating down the proud smile he wanted to flash her, knowing he needed to be focused on this case, but she seemed satisfied with her answer when Penelope nodded in agreement.

“So you don’t think he’s an old guy like me, is what you’re saying?” Derek asked with aghast, knowing full well mid thirties wasn’t too old. Hadn’t stopped his pride hurting. 

She shook her head, “I just think he wouldn’t be as old as you. Mine and Reid’s age maybe. But he seems obsessive, and he also must have a job that affords him the spare time to spend the following few days with the bodies, but it means we should also assume that these women are likely already dead,”

She looked to Hotch hopefully, to see him staring at her unreadably for a moment, before he looked to Rossi with a nod. 

David slapped her on the shoulder affectionately, “You just put together your first profile, kid,” 

And before long, they were heading for the jet with her deductions in mind to hand over to the cops. 

–

“Can someone explain to me the appeal of these sites? ‘Eating sushi tonight, yum!’ ‘Boss is keeping me late at work, grr,’” Rossi stared at the status updates, perplexed, as the team snickered to themselves. 

“Now, wait a minute. How did you find my profile?” Bugsy asked jokingly, and she drew a fond smile from Aaron her way when Rossi chuckled to himself. 

He wished she would stop looking so nervous to contribute. She fit right in with the furniture. 

“Whose life is so important that we’d be interested in this kind of detail?” Rossi asked seriously, though Bugsy supposed even the coffee machine was a new useless piece of technology to the man who liked his espresso fresh. 

“That’s just it, no one is. I guess everyone just wanted to believe it to themselves that they all have an audience out there waiting to hear every update of their day. Some of them even have GPS tracking systems in place to make it even easier for people to find out exactly where you are,” Bugsy said, her eyes flicking to Spencer who watched her intently, automatically floating up to take in his new hair again. 

She couldn’t help think he had stopped looking cute, and started looking hot. He’d always been cute, god knows she’d always thought he was good looking. But now he looked… dreamy. It had made her double take the minute he’d walked through the door, hoping it wasn’t too obvious she was staring. 

“That explains how he’s finding them, but it doesn’t tell us how he’s getting into their houses,” Hotch nodded along with her, eying her carefully as she looked through her own notes she’d made once she’d brought herself round to ripping her eyes off Reid. 

“At the very least I believe he has copies of their keys,” Spencer said, his finger trailing the information in his file, “Doris Archer had a home security system installed, but the disable code was entered at 1:56am, so he knew that too. He also found a way to deal with her dog, a German Shepard she adopted from the pound last year, it went missing the night she did,” 

“Did they find the dog?” Bugsy asked, her face in a frown as Emily looked up to her.

“Why? What are you thinking?” She asked her little sister who played with the ‘TRAINEE’ lanyard around her neck. 

“If he hurt the dog, it likely meant the dog had been on alert to him as an intruder, since opportunistic violence isn’t in his profile of being collected and organised. So if he didn’t hurt the dog, and he was found alive and unharmed, it means the dog knew him,” Bugsy explained, and Derek stroked his face in thought. 

“This guy’s gotta be in and out of the house well before the night of the disappearance. He comes up with some ruse, talks his way inside, and then once he’s familiar enough with the house he knows he can come back and kidnap them without disturbing anything,” He said, the girl nodding in agreement with him.

“Think of people you let into your home you don’t consider a threat. Home repair guys, dog walkers?” Rossi offered, but JJ was quick to flick to her own pack. 

“Detective Fordham looked into that too. No one came even close to being a killer,” She shut down, not wanting to waste their time running through avenues that had already been explored. 

“Alright,” Hotch started as he glanced at his watch to see they were landing in around ten minutes, “Morgan and Prentiss, start with the last abduction site, see if anything points to his MO.” 

Bugsy raised her hand politely, as if she were still in class, and he nodded in her direction to speak, “Do you mean as in me when you say Prentiss or as in Emily when you say Prentiss?” She asked, and Emily seemed to be having the same issue as she flicked a glance between the two of them.

“I mean Emily, for you I guess I’ll have to say-” But he stopped himself with a frown. What would he say? Bugsy? No, too informal on a case. Baby Prentiss? Absolutely not. He thinks she might just hit him if he said her first name too much. “We’ll workshop it for now. Dave, you, Prentiss, Reid and JJ go back over the women’s lives. Start with asking around their friends on the sites. If this is how the Unsub is finding them, maybe they’re connected to him without even realising.” 

The team was quiet for a moment, before Spencer pointed to Bugsy with his pen, “So that time you meant Bug, right?”

Dave wished he could protest but he had also been a bit confused, as Hotch rubbed his head tenderly. 

He felt the headache coming already. 

–

“What was it about these women that made him choose them as targets?” Bugsy asked as she and Spencer sat in a small room in the Boise precinct, the three victims' profile pictures staring back at them from the board. 

It was their second day working on the case, and other than Garcia tracking a very disturbing snuff film of the last murder being streamed from the victim’s own IP address using camera’s he’d set up in the home, they had yet to have a big breakthrough. Hotch had told her to leave the room when they’d shown the footage, knowing it was one of her first weeks on the case, and despite having a strong stomach, he wanted her to ease into the role rather than drop her in the deep end head first. 

Even seasoned agents like Morgan and Rossi had both winced, JJ even gagging as they watched it happen. They usually dealt with the aftermath, not have front row seats on the act itself. 

She had been allowed in once the tape had finished, but Reid had immediately shuffled her into the small office they’d been permitted to use by the Boise police, his face a little more peaky than usual.

She wished he wouldn’t worry so much about her, wished he would hide it better when he fretted over her. She was sure he would burst a vessel if he kept flicking his head to look at her, though she just sat staring at the women as if the answer would jump out at her. 

“They’re all pretty, aren’t they?” Bugsy said, swinging her legs beneath the table, her eyes roving over the three faces, “Though unconventionally, they’re still pretty.”

They weren’t his type, Spencer thought, they looked almost nothing like her. She had removed the last of the pink hair dye she’d managed to keep on top of for a year or so before she’d started at the university. Her nose piercing had progressed to a little thin silver hoop, though her earrings had been dialled down for safety reasons in the field, and she kept her hair tied back away from her face most days. She looked older, which was a dumb thing to think, since of course she was older. But she had grown into her face, and Spencer was entirely convinced she took after her father since the only thing she shared with Emily was the same pout when she thought too hard. 

He’d watched her grow for all of three years into the twenty five year old that sat before him, and yet her face had never really changed shape. She still had those pretty eyes that seemed to glint up at him, those soft lips that pursed when she tried not to giggle at him, that perfect nose he would trace the edge of using just his gaze when she had come over to his apartment to study for the academy. She was still as beautiful as the day he’d met her, he thinks part of him had always thought of her in that way. He had just put it down to a pretty girl giving him attention. But girls gave him attention all the time, he had realised since that stakeout at the club, when he’d given her those napkin roses. He just didn’t care for them. 

He only cared about what she thought of him. 

Only cared what her face looked like-

“Wait,” He stopped his thoughts that could go on for days, weeks, about her. They already had, it was difficult to pull himself out of it sometimes. He stared at the photos of the victims, his mind revelling in her own face that he didn’t doubt had guys swooning and falling over their own feet, as he zeroed in on their eyes, cheekbones, septums, “Their faces are all an identical structure,” 

“How did you figure that out?” She asked, wide eyed and he ripped down the photos before she could catch him blushing. 

He thought he might take it to the grave what he’d been thinking about. 

–

“He’s going live,” Hotch seethed, clicking a button on the remote and the whiteboard in the centre of the room lit up with video footage, a small red dot flashing slowly in the corner telling them they were watching it being streamed. 

Bugsy stood behind Spencer, her eyes glued to the small computer at the desk that played the same screen, her heart rate spiking when she saw a small body camera pointing at a house, the UnSub cutting across a lawn in a near sprint. 

He’d lost control completely, and he had another victim set in his sights. 

“He’s not slow, deliberate. This guy’s pissed.” Rossi said, his jaw hung open in horror as the streamer headed straight for the front door. 

“All right, what do we see? Determining markers?” Hotch snapped the groups focus back from the gut wrenching panic that everyone felt, and it was like a switch flipped.

“A one story cottage,” Spencer noted, his eyes glued to the screen so tight he missed the way Bugsy’s face changed colour, and she looked like she was swaying on her feet. 

“That could be anywhere,” Detective Fordham commented back, his face grimacing. 

“Is there a number on the house?” Morgan asked, and everyone leaned in closer to the footage. 

“No, he’s already at the door,” JJ said, running a hand through her long blonde hair. 

Bugsy thought she might be sick. 

“Garcia,” 

“He’s using twice as many proxy servers,” Her shaky voice came through the speaker, furious typing in the background.

“Wait, this window in the background, is that the chat room?” Emily asked, pointing to the small screen at the bottom that flooded with comments from at least forty different users, and more began entering the stream. 

Get that bitch. 

Show her a good time. 

Teach the pigs a lesson for sticking their nose in. 

Bugsy wished she hadn’t been so fast at reading, as she felt her skin go cold at the sight of the comments. 

“People are getting off on it,” She said quietly, but no one heard her, too focused on finding out where the UnSub was. 

“Uh Huh,” Garcia confirmed, as the footage flicked to show a kitchen view, a pretty fair haired woman stood chopping peppers none the wiser to the sick people watching her life before it was about to be ended. 

“He’s in the house, guys,” Reid ran clammy hands over his trousers, his stomach churning as the video went on.

“He’s completely changed his MO,” Derek added, and the team could do nothing but watch in terror, “There’s too much light, what happened?”

“Someone asked the wrong question at the press conference,” JJ explained from beside Reid, her nails bitten to hell. 

“Oh my god, turn around. Just turn around,” Emily begged, and part of her little sister thought she might have been talking about her. 

“Maybe she can fend him off,” Derek said, though even his tone of voice wasn’t convinced. 

“New kitchen appliances, maybe we could check the work order?” Spencer was grasping at straws he knew that, but he couldn’t sit back with that big brain of his working overtime and not try to help at all.

“He’ll be gone by then,” Rossi said, and he wasn’t entirely wrong.

“Garcia, can you give me anything?” Hotch asked, and the sound of typing got even faster if that was possible.

“I’m stateside now, I’m almost to Idaho, I just need more time,” but Garcia was cut of by the man in the video lurching at the innocent woman, his hands wrapping around her neck with a venomous grip, her every moment of pain and terror captured on his body cam for his audience to see. 

His audience including the team. 

Bug felt the bile rise then, felt her eyes burn as she watched the woman’s face freeze in fear, a yelp of “No!” leaving her oesophagus, her small hands coming up to his wrists to try pry him away from her, anything to gasp for another breath of air. 

She wasn’t listening as Hotch barked orders at Garcia, her eyes were stuck on the woman that writhed in pain, pleading with the masked man to spare her. But her rebuttals got weaker, her whimpers began to grow quieter, and soon he’d tackled her to the ground in a blood curdling scream, his whole body weight crushing her throat. 

Her own hand came up to cover her mouth that dropped open in shock, her eyes burning with tears that she couldn't let fall. It was this woman who was suffering, not her. 

There was a bit more struggling from the woman, her eyes bulging from her skull, lips turning blue, until she slumped beneath his hands, and he released her. 

She took a step back, bumping into a chair she hadn’t even known was there as her eyes fixed to the screen, and Spencer’s head shot around to see her shaking on the spot, her eyes haunted. 

Emily followed suit, but Spencer was already out of his seat, rushing forward to grab her arms and lead her outside. 

“I’m gonna get her some air,” He called behind him to the team that watched her go with forlorn glances, and he hated how he felt her trembling beneath his grip, grabbing onto his jacket just as tight. 

They made it halfway down the stairs before she bolted for the bathroom, and he heard her retching as he dipped into the room after her, not caring that the sign clearly stated it was for women. 

“I’m fine, Em, just give me a minute,” She said, and he heard the sniffles between her words. 

“It’s me,” He said, finding the one stall on the end that had it’s door engaged, pulling a cup from out of the dispenser and filling it at the water fountain, “You should drink some water, the cold helps reset your body’s instinct to fight or flight,” 

“Or in my case, make a complete fool of myself and take time away from a time sensitive investigation because I’m such a wuss,” She said cynically, coughing chestily and he heard the toilet flush. 

His forehead creased as he frowned. The door unlocked and she stepped out, her eyes red and teary as she gently took the water from his hands, and he rooted around his pocket for a stick of gum to give her. She chucked it in her mouth, letting the peppermint clear the vile taste from her mouth, hoping she didn’t look too gross. 

“You shouldn’t stand so close to me, toilet bowls are like full of germs and my heads just been in there, I know it makes you feel funny to be around germs-” He pushed her hair behind her ear as if to tell her to stop thinking so loud, and she couldn’t help smile sheepishly at him. “Do you think Hotch will be mad?” 

He shook his head instantly. 

“Mad? No. Worried? Incredibly.” Spencer replied, stroking her hair a little the way his mom used to when he felt sick. 

Bugsy shook her head, sniffing to herself a little more. 

She couldn’t stop seeing that woman’s face as the life slipped from her, the hands around her neck. The yelps and pleads and begs and she fought with everything in her.

“How long was it until you started feeling like this?” She asked earnestly, running a sleeve under her nose, “You’re so brave, I always knew you were but, since I started, it’s like I realised nothing really touches any of you anymore.”

He fought the incredulous laugh, him; brave? The man scared of the dark and elevators brave? 

“We all take things home with us at the end of the day,” He said, wiping under her eyes for her with his own cardigan cuff, “If you didn’t feel anything for the victims we help, you wouldn’t be human, Bug,”

She nodded, “I know. I just don’t want to let anyone down. Not you guys and especially not the people we’re helping,” 

“It’s for that reason I know you’re going to do great,” He said, giving her one of those small Spencer smiles he reserved for when he wanted to see one of hers. 

Her forehead thumped onto his chest as he pulled her a little closer, and his cheek fell on top of her hair as he ran gentle hands over the sides of her arms, calming her until her breath started evening out. 

“You never said,” She pointed out, “How long it took for you to start getting cold feet. Bet I beat some kind of record, two weeks is absolute dog shit,” She chuckled to herself, not noticing how his face evened out in sadness. 

It was Tobias Hankel that had done it. It was getting tied up and injected that had made him feel like a failure, like he wasn’t cut out for anything let alone the force. Like his life was taking a huge spiral downwards. 

But he wouldn’t tell her that, not yet at least. 

“Come on, let’s get you back,” He brushed off, and she figured it was a sore spot for him. She cursed herself for asking in the first place. 

Nodding, she downed the rest of the water and got herself a refill, following him out of the bathroom, looking back up at him for a moment.

“I forgot to say,” Bug said, nudging against his side with her whole body, knocking into him lovingly, “Your new hair is very… dashing. I really like it.”

He swore his face went crimson in a single second.

5. The one with his migraines

“Let me pay for your fuel at least,”

“Spence, just shut up and get in the car,”

That was around about how the past eight months had gone. Every day, she would drive by his apartment, Emily in the passenger seat of her little sisters beat up Renault Zoe, affectionately named after its model, the back seat reserved for Spencer’s lanky legs and satchel bag as she drove the three of them through through roads of Virginia, to work and back again. 

Sometimes he surprised her with coffee, sometimes Emily brought them donuts.  Either way, they all enjoyed their morning routine that had stood the test of time about as much as Bugsy had as part of the BAU. 

It had gotten easier after that first case; she still had her moments, but her skin had thickened to a point she barely remembered what her life had been like before that day Hotch asked her to join the academy. 

Things were going well, she felt settled, even with the new girl Seaver replacing JJ while Jareau was away on business in the pentagon. She couldn’t say she was the girl’s best friend, but they got along. And that was good enough for her. Her team was a well oiled machine. 

That was, except for Spencer. Spencer she worried for every day. 

She hated the way he twitched in the passenger seat, now his since she’d forced Emily to get the subway to work today, bitching eachother out in the way sisters did until the older woman left in a huff but without asking questions, and she left to take Spencer to the hospital. 

The sunglasses did little to stop his eyes hurting, his brain quite literally feeling as though it was pressing against his skull. He even turned down coffee this morning, and her stomach had dropped when she realised just how serious it was. 

He didn’t even question her when she held his hand tightly in hers as she walked him into the office, knowing he would hate every second of having this MRI done. 

“Everything’s going to be absolutely fine, they’re going to find what it is and we’re going to get you fixed right up to your perky self again,” She said, as they sat together outside the doctor’s office, keeping her voice calm and quiet as not to upset his delicate head even more. 

He nodded, appreciating her gentle touches on his hand, and he jumped in his seat when the door opened, his name being called through and he wished she could come with him. 

“You got this,” Bugsy smiled at him reassuringly when he looked hesitant, and nodded again, squeezing her hand once before he let go, following the nurse into the MRI room, wondering how he got so lucky to have a best friend like her. 

–

Spencer sighed, leaning back in his seat. The flight had not helped the building pressure in his head in the slightest. He looked up to the ceiling, closing his eyes as the harsh office lights beat against his face mercilessly. 

Two bodies found sacrificed to a 'higher being', their tongues and fingers cut off, shells put over their eyes and mouths. They had seen worse, perhaps not as odd, but they had seen worse. And yet this was the case that made him feel like his brain was about to explode right out his ears.

He hadn’t felt like this since he had been on Dilaudid, since he’d be on a come down and his whole body would sweat cold, and his head would rattle with every movement. And even that almost paled in comparison to how bad his head hurt right now. 

Spencer had wondered if that was what had done this to him, if it was a long term side effect of its use. He knew it wouldn’t be, but the self punishing part of him couldn’t help but fill his head with it. 

He just wanted answers. He just wanted it to stop. He just wanted to crawl into bed with an ice pack over his face and never surface again until this thing had subsided. 

Spencer felt hands in his hairline, fingernails weaving and massaging until he almost moaned, the touches releasing some of the metaphorical knots like magic at their fingertips, and he knew who it was, because that was how she always made him feel. 

He opened his eyes to see her very upside down as she looked down at him, their eyes inline with one another as she continued running her fingers against his temples gently. 

“You okay, handsome?” That was somewhat new, not that he was complaining. Part of him said she just felt bad for him and his weird brain, and maybe that was how it had always been, but ever since he had started getting these migraines she was impossibly even softer with him now. Like she was his comfort blanket he cuddled to when he was feeling particularly sorry for himself, and she knew it too. They were rarely not stuck together like velcro, where he moved, she moved. Where he sat, she was pressed against him like the concept of personal space had never been such a huge deal for him. 

And when his pain struck him down into the embodiment of a wounded doe, she was right there fluffing his pillows, grabbing him aspirin, massaging his head like she could grab the bastard migraine right out of his skull and say leave my precious boy alone. 

She was too sweet on him recently, but then he never wanted it to stop. It felt like a relationship without the kissing and especially without the sex. The thought of it made him want to moan again. 

“This one’s a stubborn one,” It had lingered around for three days straight, and the Miami heat wasn’t helping as he looked up at her inverted face, and he could tell she was smiling gently at him. 

She ran her thumbs over his eyebrows, smoothing them out and he sighed in delight as he felt the muscle begin to relax beneath her touch. 

“You make things better,” He confessed, her fingers tracing down his pretty nose, and he closed his eyes as she went over the bags beneath them. “You always do,” 

He felt her kiss his forehead for good luck, and he knew she hated seeing him in so much pain. He could have whined when she pulled away, letting go of him gently as Rossi stepped into the room, hoping he hadn’t seen the affection before too much teasing could come. 

But he said nothing, even if he had seen, just raised his eyebrows and grabbed the file off the desk for his own thorough look through. 

He sure as hell missed the way she interlaced their fingers under the desk though. 

–

Spencer twisted the bracelet around his wrist as they sat together outside the doctor's office. Orula’s ide. That was what Julio had called it. Said it would protect him from the bad spirits that clouded his head. 

Spencer was a man of science, a man of logic. But even he couldn’t quite explain how Julio had managed to figure out he was having migraines despite him not letting any infliction of pain cross his face, even more confused when Julio had said his body had been a conduit for a higher spirit who wanted to help him. 

He was glad to be back in Virginia where everything made sense to him. Where she could hold onto his knee at the doctor's office to stop it from bouncing and his team couldn’t tease or ask him what was wrong or make her stop touching him so much. 

“I say we get some ice on your head and put on whichever Doctor Who episode you want, don’t even care if we’ve seen it before,” She offered, smiling over at him and hoping he couldn’t see the worry in her eyes. 

He could. He just nudged her shoulder with his forehead to say thankyou without ruining the solace the quiet brought him. 

That is until his name was called, just as it was the last time he was here, and he stood to enter the office, not letting go of her hand as this time he’d made sure she could come. 

“That doesn’t make any sense,” He said as he sat on the bed, his doctor showing him the clear brain scans that hadn’t flagged a single neuron out of place. 

“I’m not sure what you want me to say,” His doctor replied, watching the way his female accomplice frowned, squeezing his hand tightly. 

“Isn't there any tests that would look for a specific prognosis we could try?” She asked, and the man shook his head. 

“Not unless we’ve ruled out every other option, and in this case I’d like to suggest that Dr. Reid’s condition might be psychosomatic in nature,” The doctor explained, wary of the way the two agents screwed their expressions up, almost identically, hearing his explanation of Spencer’s headaches. 

“Psychosomatic…” Spencer echoed softly, in near disbelief. 

That couldn’t be it. It had to be the Dilauded. Or a tumour. Or a long standing concussion. Something physical and tangible he could point out and get fixed.  

“It just means a mental or emotional cause-” The doctor explained, only to have Spencer cut him off. 

“No I know what ‘psychosomatic’ means Doctor, but it's not that,” He said, his voice tired; the idea he was making up his problem in his own head bothered him. 

“Well, I think it’s something we should consider.”

“Listen, I’m not crazy,” Spencer insisted, and he felt her tugging his hand closer to hers, her own way of comforting him when she couldn’t grab at his hair or face or jaw. 

“Dr Reid, I’m not saying-” But he was stopped by Spencer’s voice that was slowly growing more irate. 

“No, listen, I have headaches. I have increased sensitivity to light, because there’s something wrong with me physically. Not mentally. It’s not that,” He corrected the doctor, his sweet face pulled into a grumpy pout, almost offended that the professional was willing to write his pain off as a hallucinations. 

“That?” The doctor asked, a frown on his face as Spencer continued.

“Listen, doctor, my mother’s a paranoid schizophrenic who’s been institutionalised. So I know very well what mental illness looks like, maybe even better than you. It’s not that, it’s not.” Spencer said in a huff, standing from the bed and grabbing his satchel, all but pulling her from the room as she sped walked after him, her hand still tightly in his. 

She was gobsmacked. She didn’t know how she hadn’t seen it before, and suddenly every single instance of her whining about her mother to him entered her head and she felt a pit growing in her stomach that only had room for guilt. 

They sat in the car in silence, her hands at ten and two as she tried not to stare at him. 

She couldn’t stand the quiet in which he stewed, murmuring to himself every now and then about how that most certainly wasn’t what was causing his state to decline. 

“You never told me that before,” She said after a while, and it was quiet, whether to satiate his headache or because she didn’t know if she was allowed to say it he wasn’t sure. 

“It never came up,” He said in a way that left little question. He didn’t want to talk about it. 

They sat in the quiet some more, the only sound being the way her engine hummed beneath the bonnet, the music turned low for his pounding head, and he saw the way she chewed her lip and flicked glances at him from the driver's side.

He sighed, not wanting to snap at her the way he had the doctor, “Bug, would you please stop looking at me like that, like you pity me-”

“No, it’s not that it's…” She started carefully, her gaze flicking ot him for a moment as they stopped at a red light, “Every time I forget you’re the strongest person I know, you just seem to remind me,” 

And just like that his heart swelled all over again, and he felt like maybe his head wasn't an entire failure to him.

+1 The one with the eulogy.

This was hell on earth. 

She sat around the table at the funeral home with her mother to her left, her father and Stephanie to her right. 

She could feel the team’s eyes on her; she hadn’t spoken in days, her face shallow and off colour, sick looking. Speaking to her mother and father was difficult for her on a good day, let alone when she was all alone. 

Because that was how she looked, as if she were half a person now, her face bitter and angry as she tried to take up the least amount of space at the table as possible, her mother inspecting her finger beds as if they’d scorned her. 

“Sit up straight,” She chided, nudging her daughter's knee, but Bugsy made no move to adjust her posture. She just stared blankly at the ugly floral tablecloth, waiting for the other mourners to arrive, to give their sorrows, before they could move to the church. 

Emily was right next door. Cold. In a box. Her entire body was likely in rigour mortis now, her face was probably white as snow with the blood pooling away - pallor mortis Reid had called it - her hands were probably twisted and ugly like a raven's foot-

She couldn’t keep doing this to herself. And yet the thoughts wouldn’t stop, not even as Stephanie, step mother from heaven as she was, began to chime in to try lighten the mood. 

Her dad hadn’t said a word to her yet, just patted her on the head the way he hadn’t done since she was five. 

“It’s a lovely day for a funeral, don’t you think?” She commented, but her voice was too sweet, too soft, too normal to have the charm she’d intended. 

Stephanie wasn’t a bad person. Not evil or horrible like Bugsy had always thought a step mother would be. But she was the person her father had left little Bugsy for, and though she knew almost all of her anger had been displaced onto the poor woman when he’d told her he had a new wife, Stephanie had never exactly bothered to remedy their relationship. 

Emily and Bugsy had been someone else’s kids. Had been Richard Prentiss’ problems, not hers. And no amount of kindness she bothered to overcompensate with today would change the past twenty years her father had been too preoccupied to even call for her birthdays. 

Bugsy scoffed, ignoring the warning look from her father. He knew very well how his youngest felt about his wife. 

“Mr and Mrs Prentiss,” Hotch came over, as if sensing the girl’s annoyance at the woman’s words, and she mentally could have planted a kiss right on Aaron’s lips when he made the effort to exclude Stephanie in his condolences, “I’m so sorry for your loss. Losing a child is a devastation I never would wish on anyone,” 

“Thank you for your kind words, Mr Hotchner,” The step mother piped up again, before either of them could say anything, and Bugsy shot her a look so full of hatred, Aaron thought she might have slapped her right then and there. 

Richard cleared his throat, moving to put an arm around Steph’s chair, one that she’d pulled up to the table herself. 

If there was one thing Elizabeth and Bugsy would ever agree on it was that Stephanie was intolerable. 

Her mother looked empty as she nodded at Hotch, crossing her legs properly and pursing her lip, not saying anything. She’d never seen her mother cry, and she doubted that would start today. Elizabeth was much too of a proud woman to weep in front of the masses. 

“Thanks, Hotch,” Bugsy said the first words she had in days, the only time she’d gotten out of bed was to feel Niko and Sergio or to use the bathroom. Her voice was raspy, ghost like, and it scared the crap out of him. 

He couldn’t see her getting through this alive. 

With Haley, he’d had Jack to get him through it, keep him going, if not to put on a front for his little boy that was the spitting image of his wife. But Bug had nothing left of her sister, nothing but herself and two parents that couldn’t stand to look at one another without screaming curses. 

The other’s had already given their condolences, had already bombarded her with enough letters, flowers, stuffed teddies to fill a house, and she knew she wasn’t being fair ignoring them when they were grieving too. If not just as much as she was. 

But she couldn’t do anything, couldn’t be anything except this shell of a woman once called Bugsy. Her sister gave her that name, she didn’t think she deserved it anymore. 

Spencer just wished she would cry. He had been sobbing non stop, even where his eyes were puffy and red as Garcia’s as they stood in the funeral home, the smell of incense too strong, the sounds of wails too loud. But she looked… he hated to say it, she looked dead.

“That poor little lamb,” Penelope sniffled, tears already streaking down her cheeks as Derek tucked her under his arm, pulling her close into his smart black suit, “I wished she would let us in,”

“That girl is a carbon copy of Emily, of course she’s going to take herself off to lick her wounds,” Rossi said, his own fancy blazer stuffed with tissues in case his dark eyes welled up with tears again. He’d already managed to save himself once this morning before leaving the house, but he didn’t trust himself anymore than that. 

Spencer missed her smile more than anything, though he himself was struggling to muster anything past a grimace. 

“The Spring flowers are all in bloom, isn’t that lovely?” Stephanie continued, an easy grin on her face as she looked out of the window to the graveyard, as if she was entirely unaware of the grief lingering in the room, “I think she'll like it here,”

That was it. 

That was what pushed Bugsy over the edge, even Elizabeth broke her cold facade to look at the other women in shock, her daughter’s eye twitching as her head snapped to Stephanie, a rage encompassing her entire face.

“What the fuck would you know what she liked or didn’t like, Stephanie? She barely even fucking liked you,”  Bugsy hissed, drawing the attention of a few of the mourners with her vitriol anger. 

That wiped the smile off the woman’s face harder than any slap could have. 

“You watch your mouth, young lady,” Richard snapped, his face a blazen rage as Stephanie cowered behind him. 

Bugsy scoffed, and Hotch knew by the sound of it alone, something had been lit inside her that was about to go off like a hand grenade. 

He couldn’t say he blamed her. 

“I don’t know why you even bothered showing up, Dad. You’ve not seen either one of us since Emily left college,” She spat back, her eyes wild like a cat ready to claw its way out of a fight, “Surprised you even remember my name now you have your shiny new family and your million honeymoons to keep you busy,”

Richard stood from his chair, his black three piece creasing as he pointed in her face, his hand shaking with rage, and she saw the tears well in his eyes that looked too much like her own for her comfort. 

“You are turning out to be just like your mother, pushing away anyone who ever cared about you.” He barked, not caring that a few mourners turned to look at him in shock, “Don’t come crying back to me when you end up alone, little lady,” 

And with that he took Stephanie’s hand, who was the patron saint of guilt as of now, a face like a scolded child, too naive for the grown woman she really as. At least she had finally shut up, Bugsy thought darkly as her father stormed out of the home, ignoring the way faces watched hers carefully, knowing every word he’d said had been true. 

She thinks for a minute if Emily was here she’d poke fun at the way Steph’s face had been hilarious when her smile had dropped, or that her dad still had the worst temper out of them all, Bug included. She thinks that if Emily were here, she’d tell her he’d said all that stuff out of anger, and that she won’t end up alone, and that she’d always be with her.

She thinks that if Emily were here, she wouldn’t feel the empty nothingness where shame and sadness would be after having that entire thing play out infront of so many onlookers. 

But Emily wasn’t there. And she couldn’t even say she was shocked when her mother stood from her seat besides her too. 

“Where are you going?” Bugsy snarled, the Ambassador looking somewhat concerned before the expression fell and she went back to an equally lost look of her own. 

“I refuse to be made a spectacle of today,” Elizabeth said detachedly, collecting her purse over her black midi dress, her painted nails skimming the handle gently, “I can say my own goodbyes to your sister later, when everyone has left,” 

Coward. Coward. Coward. Bugsy wanted to scream after her, wanted to tear her hair out, wanted to grab the two of them by the neck and make them feel the way her words trapped inside her and clawed at her throat, sitting inside like a moth bouncing against a window trying to escape. 

But she said nothing. Did nothing, as her mother left the home, left her sitting there alone, until the officiant came over to her not even a moment’s later and told her it was time to start the funeral. 

And then she truly felt as if she would never be whole again. 

–

Her hands shook as she got to the podium. She’d always hated public speaking, which Spencer thought was odd since she seemed to grab the attention of every room she walked into like it was second nature. She didn’t even bat an eyelid at chasing down a criminal or being shot at or evening chewing out a detective that wasn’t pulling his weight, but speaking to a handful of decorated officers that watched her with grieving eyes was too much. 

Adjusting the mic to a more appropriate height, they watched her eyes scan the room, her brows scrunched, her mouth dry. Trying to find Emily, Hotch realised with a crack in his chest. The way she always did when she was nervous. The way she did when she was looking for Emily to come save her. 

“H-hi, um,” Her voice shook, her fingers fiddling with the chord for something to do, “Mom- Ambassador Prentiss got called out on business so I guess I’ll be giving the eulogy,” 

No one spoke, not even the ones who knew it was a lie, her eyes falling to where Spencer gave her a sad smile, some sort of encouragement for her to keep going, though his eyes were red and bloodshot, and he was sure the burn in his throat was rising again. 

She hadn’t cried yet. Penelope had cried four times today alone. 

“I- um, I wasn’t really prepared for a speech, so I’m, um, I’m just going to read the letter I wrote to her if that’s okay?” Her head shot to the priest who had handed the spotlight over to her, the warm spring breeze pulling at his robes as he nodded, his hand gesturing for her to continue. 

She cleared her throat, tearing the envelope open, and the paper rattled in her fingertips with her shaking hands as she pulled out the double sided A4 that had been written on in neat blue ink. 

Unfolding it, she let her gaze rip off the crowd of people who stared at her, waiting for whatever it was she had to say, the final words her sister’s body would hear before she was put in the ground forever. The last goodbye. The only one that had ever mattered. 

“Dear Emily,” Bugsy read, her voice finding footing as she was able to look away from the hundreds of eyes that watched her tearfully. But it was the wrong move. Because the minute she’d prepared herself to say the words out loud she felt her eyes well up. 

This was it. The last chance she would ever get to tell Emily how she felt. How sorry she was. How she was so damn sorry for being such a shitty person for so many years, for never saying thank you enough, for never hugging her when she really ought to have, for never appreciating how lucky she was to have a sister like her. 

Her throat clogged, and she sucked in a deep breath, releasing a trembling sigh. Her bottom lip quivered. 

“Sorry-” She apologised to the watchers, rubbing her mouth nervously, hoping no one could see just how deeply she had broken, just how harsh the wound had gaped open, “Dear Emily,” She started again;

“Everyone thinks they know what a sister is; it's the woman you share fifty percent of your DNA with who you’re put on this earth to annoy the shit out of,” A small wet laugh reverberated around the crowd, and she flashed a small smile at her own words. “But the truth is you can actually share up to sixty-one percent of your genes with one of your siblings. Which is crazy to me, because I know no matter how hard I try, I will never be even one percent of the woman you are,” 

She swallowed heavily, and she heard Penny burst out crying again, her head buried in Morgan’s neck. 

“If I was as gracious as you, I’d probably say you’re in a better place now, and if I was as brave, we probably wouldn’t even be here, because I would have been able to save you that day instead of just watching like a fly on the wall.” The first tear fell then, her face crumpling in pain. “If I was as considerate as you, I would be able to look every one of your friends in the eyes and tell them it would all be okay in the end. And if I was even the tiniest bit as kind as you, then I would have told you all of this to your face when it actually mattered.”

She sniffed heavily, and Derek did the same, his own throat burning, picking the thread on his nice trousers as Penelope’s tears wet his shirt through. 

“Everyone thinks that true love is finding someone you want to marry and have children with, but I know now that’s not the entirety of it. Love is a person you want to spend every day making happy, and make them proud to say they love you too.” Her chin wobbled some more as she read the next few sentences with something darker than remorse in her glassy eyes, “I sometimes think, if we were given a second chance, if we could try again, I would be able to tell you that I truly love you, Emily, and that you’re the only person I ever cared about loving me too,”

Her voice cracked, and she regarded the paper with misty eyes, her cheeks soaked as she quickly wiped them with the back of her white, lace gloves. 

“I think maybe next time I wouldn’t be so spoiled and bratty, and you could have been more relaxed and maybe less like my mom at times, but I think if we could do it over, we could have done it right, the way sisters are supposed to,” She sniffed, missing the way Spencer’s face dripped with tears of his own, her words tearing him inside and out with the guilt in every line. “But I guess it’s too late for that now. I only got one chance to be your sister and I failed, no matter how many times you pulled through for me. And that’s a debt I’ll never be able to repay.”

She braved a look at the closed casket, imagining her big sister, the only person she ever truly loved laying in there with fair, snow skin, her noir hair sitting perfectly like a princess in the fairytales she used to read to her before bed. Only this one had no happy ending. This one ended with her heart torn from her chest, bleeding for the rest of her days until her own body was buried and everyone could mourn the girl who was barely half the woman her sister was, no matter what the statistics say.

“I’m sorry, Emily” It was the first time she’d said the two words that had been playing in her head on a loop for weeks, the two words that sang to her like a mantra, every morning, noon and evening. Even in her sleep she had dreams where she could do nothing but scream into a void of darkness, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. It should have been me, I’m sorry. “I hope you can forgive me,” She whimpered through a sob, ignoring the way her cheeks gushed with fat tears now, as she wept freely at the podium, her hands no longer shaking. 

“Lots of love, your shitty baby sister, Bugsy.” She finished with a small whine, her expression broken as she folded the letter back up and placed it in the envelope, the cursive lettering of her big sister’s name staring back at her. Finishing where she’d started. 

Tucking the letter underneath a tulip wreath atop the coffin, she stepped back down off the podium, ignoring the way the eyes followed her back to her seat, ignoring the way Derek rubbed her shoulder affectionately, or the way JJ handed her a packet of tissues, even though her own face was flooded, and showed no signs of stopping. She felt Spencer grab her hand in his delicately, entwining their fingers together, and squeezing lightly. 

The priest continued with a hymn, though she didn’t bother singing it. She just stared at her shoes, as if her entire soul had been sucked from her the minute she’d ended the eulogy. 

Which it had, because that had been Emily’s last goodbye. 

She didn’t speak in the car on the way back to Spencer’s, not as Hotch pulled her in for a wide hug, rare and warm, even going so far as to stroke the back of her head with more affection than they’d ever seen him give her. 

“Call me if you need anything,” He’d murmured into the side of her head as he held her close, feeling two hands hesitantly wrap around his waist, as if she wasn’t entirely switched on which, going by the vacant look on her face she wasn’t. 

Spencer made her tea the moment they got in. She didn’t ask for it, she just sat on the sofa and stared at the beat up, old TV he kept only for the occasional documentary, and for the shows she liked to watch too of course. But she hadn’t even switched it on, just stared at the inky black glass like it would jump to life itself and tell her how to feel. 

He took a seat next to her, on the other end of the couch, flicking the screen on for something to stop it from being so silent in his home; the silence meant they were alone with their thoughts, and for once he and his thoughts couldn’t stand being together. He didn’t want to interrupt her, or be the first to break the quiet. Not even when he watched her tea go cold in front of her, or as she barely acknowledged the cartoon on the TV, or when he pulled out his copy of The Brothers Karamazov that he’d been re-reading for the third time. 

“Would you like me to read to you? Would that be better?” He asked tentatively, and she didn’t even blink, as if she were some sort of zombie or corpse sitting next to him programmed for instruction on acting human. 

She said nothing, but she did move, the act of it making him jump slightly, and it was then he realised she had been perfectly still for the past half an hour, barely even showing signs of breath. A puppet with no master. 

She leaned over, her body dropping onto the sofa softly as if she was taking a nap, only for her head to rest on his thigh, and his hand flew to pull the claw clip out of her hair like he read her mind. Her knees nestled to her chest, in foetal position, her pretty black dress, the same one she’d worn for Haley’s funeral riding up past her knees. 

He gently tucked his long fingers into her roots, stroking her hair like she were a tame cat curled in his lap, clearing his voice as he continued where he’d left off, making sure he wasn’t reading too fast the way he would if it was just him. 

His head still whirled around the eulogy she’d read. How watching her crack beneath the weight of her own words had hurt him more than his own grief, had made him bury whatever it was he felt and just need to put her back together again. 

Because he didn’t need an eidetic memory to have ingrained what she’d said into his head, not even as they went to bed, and she burrowed into his side in one of his sweatshirts he usually saved for his own bad days. 

“Bug,” He braved to say, watching her eyes force themselves open from where they were on the very lip of sleeping, “You’re my very best friend, did you know that?” 

She hummed, her nose digging into his arm that he wound under her head, pulling her close enough he could feel her heartbeat against his own where she was in the crook of his neck. 

“I love you,” She said, like those three words didn’t rip the air from his lungs. 

Not even as her breathing finally evened out, and he felt himself heave a sigh of relief; the bags under her eyes had been more noticeable today than ever. Not even when he dared a kiss to her forehead as she slept, the smell of her shampoo completely taking over his pillow as he allowed his own heart to hurt for just a few moments, missing his friend dearly as he looked after the woman.

Love is a person you want to spend every day making them happy, and make them proud to say they love you too. 

He knew then.

–

TAGLIST

@release-your-sweets @smileykiddie08 @caramelised-onions@the-tpd-bau @stephthepeach @sunflowersndpeaches @sammy-4103 @starmansirius @yeonalie @delusionallooney @hades-disappointment-child @sadbae-33

[rendy-a]

Sorry, househusband Headcanons with Silver 👉👈✨💕(sorry the first questiom accidentally sent incomplete ) 👍

Ha ha ha. That first request would have been enough. Househusband Silver? Say no more. I'm with you there!

You have to keep an eye on him when he does chores to watch out for advice he picked up from your father-in-law.  Lilia passed on some of the strangest housekeeping habits to Silver and you never know when they’ll pop up.  You remember the winter that both of you were sick at the same time and Silver made an actual bathtub full of soup because that was the correct amount advised by Father. 

You do all the cooking prep together.  It’s not that you don’t like Silver’s cooking (even he knows to avoid using Lilia’s recipes), it’s just that you worry too much about his safety in the kitchen.  There have been some close calls where Silver has fallen asleep with a hot stove on or holding a knife.  Now, you have little dinner-prep dates to cook up meals for the week.  Each finished dish is one your spouse can finish off in the microwave or by setting a timer on a kitchen appliance.  It’s not foolproof but you certainly worry less.  Seeing Silver in an apron is just an added bonus!

You never thought you’d say this, but small forest animals are your back-up plan.  It’s like nature itself has decided to help your husband escape danger and accomplish his goals.  You’ve literally seen mice help him sew up a rip in your clothes and a deer pull your sleeping spouse out of the street.  You are grateful that Silver is so beloved by the animals, or you don’t know how you’d bare to leave him home without you!

You were sitting at your desk hard at work when suddenly a chill runs down your spine.  You look at the clock, there are three more hours of work left in the day.  You frown and decide to quickly check your phone messages, just in case.  When you pull the device out and look, your heart drops when you see the message, [Father is here for a visit.]  Oh dear, your famous Father-in-law is alone with your spouse, and you can’t do anything about it. 

You quietly take your phone and sneak away to the parking lot for a quick call.  It rings several times with no answer.  You hang up and try again.  This time, you get a sleepy, “Hello,” at the fourth ring.  You smile at the sound, picturing your spouse just awoken from a short sleeping spell.  “Hi dearest, I got your message.  How are things going?”  There is the smallest hint of a smile in the tone that replies, though you know he is stoic as ever on the other side.  “Father is helping me clean out the attic.  It’s going along well.  We’ve got everything moved out and into our living room now.”  You look out into the distance.  All the dusty things hidden away in the attic are now all over your clean living room.  Well, it could be worse.

You force an extra amount of cheer into your voice, “That’s great honey, and you are keeping an eye on him?  Making sure he…doesn’t work too hard?”  Silver assures you that he only fell asleep for a moment, but that Lilia was back where he expected him to be.  You feel a sense of dread, “Silver, it is nearly lunch time.  He hasn’t been cooking, has he?  Did you check?”  There is a long pause before Silver mutters, “I better go.”  You wish him the best of luck and disconnect.  Then, you gaze at your phone for a moment before dialing the nearest pizza delivery place.  Better safe than sorry.

A few hours later, you sneak away to the restroom to text your spouse.  [How are things?]  You wait quietly in the stall until you get a reply.  [Do you think we need to put a bedroom in the attic?]  You look at your phone in surprise, this conversation is already veering wildly from what you anticipated.  [Why would we do that?]  You see the dots appear and wait for your hubby’s text.  [In case we need to use the spare room for a nursery.]  You sigh and roll your eyes, Lilia again.  [We can talk about it when I get home.  Agree to nothing!!!]

After work, your thoughts turn immediately to your spouse, and you head straight home.  You see your house come into view and your sleepy husband is waiting for you at the door with his eyes shut.  You climb the stairs and give him a sweet kiss.  His eyes flutter open and he smiles at you, “I had a wonderful dream and now here you are.”  You brush a strand of his silver hair from his forehead, “Which was better?”  He looks at you with seriousness and replies, “You.  You are always better.”  You turn your head to the side, feeling the heat in your cheeks.

“Ahem,” you clear your throat, “So where is our precious Father?”  Silver drops back until he is only holding your hand, “He left.  He said we needed time alone to work on his grandchildren.”  You laugh and think that sounds very much like your spirited Father-in-Law.  You rub your thumb along the fingers holding your hand, “Well, since he is gone, I suppose its safe to ask about your day.  How did the attic cleaning project go?”  Silver calmly assures you that things went just fine.  Nearby, a squirrel looks up and meets your eye before giving you the most traumatized shake of its little head.  “I’m glad everything worked out,” you say as you make eyes that say ‘I’m sorry’ to the neighborhood wildlife.  You didn’t know what trouble he’d been involved in, but you knew some evil had been conquered today.  You squeeze Silver’s hand and that prompts him to lift you into his arms and carry you over the threshold.  It wasn’t happily ever after, but for today, it was enough of a happy ending for you and your prince charming.

[gerrystamour]

nothing to say, and nowhere to go (the taste of the divine)

Rated E | Steddie Week Day 1: Hunger | 1900 Words | Complete

[ READ ON AO3 ]

Steve found himself staring at Eddie’s mouth. It wasn’t the first time he did that, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. But this truly took the cake for the most inappropriate time to do it. This is my entry for @steddie-week Day 1, loosely following the prompt Hunger. Posting a bit early for my timezone because I have a busy-ish day tomorrow. Enjoy!! CW: This fic is rated Explicit for smut below the cut.

Steve found himself staring at Eddie’s mouth.

It wasn’t the first time he did that, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. But this truly took the cake for the most inappropriate time to do it.

It had been Steve’s bright idea to encourage Eddie to start holding the Hellfire meetups at his house, wanting to watch his boyfriend in action. He’d heard a lot about Eddie when he was in the zone, and Steve just wanted to see it. Plus, since they would be playing late that meant Steve could easily convince Eddie to stay the night and maybe, just maybe, if Eddie was super keyed-up after the game ended…

At the start, things were going well. Steve sat back and observed as they played and yeah, Eddie was a sight to behold when he was like this; passionate, animated, excited. Steve could watch him like this forever.

Then combat began, which meant there was a lot of bickering and squabbling at each turn and Eddie took this time to start snacking on the pretzels Steve set up behind his DM screen.

That’s where it started to go wrong for Steve.

The first couple of pretzels, Eddie popped straight into his mouth, crunched them loudly while he laughed openly at the plan the kids were trying to devise. Steve pulled a face, a bit disgusted, but he couldn’t deny the fondness he felt, too.

Then Eddie started doing that thing he did, that thing Steve was certain was deliberate and designed specifically to drive him absolutely insane.

The Dungeon Master would lift a pretzel to his mouth just to rest it on his plush bottom lip, poke his tongue out just enough to lick at the salt. Then he’d drop his chin just a bit, hook the pretzel with his tongue, and lift it into his mouth. Did Eddie finally chew it and be done with it? Of course not.

Steve could tell by the way his jaw shifted that he was playing with the pretzel on his tongue, sucking it gently. It brought images of Eddie sucking other things to Steve’s mind and it was actually embarrassing how quickly his cock began to wake up.

Then Eddie would chew the pretzel, putting Steve out of his misery, to describe the results of whatever the kids managed to do. To Steve’s dismay, Eddie just started the whole process over with another goddamn pretzel.

So there Steve was, half-hard and staring at his boyfriend’s mouth while a gaggle of teenagers were right fucking there, and he couldn’t bring himself to actually look away.

Eddie had started the ritual again, but this time the corners of his mouth were ticked upward in a little smirk. It was enough for Steve to tear his gaze away to take in Eddie’s whole face.

Eddie was looking at Steve, and now that their eyes met, his smirk turned into a dimpled grin. The menace lifted the pretzel he’d been licking gently just enough that he could poke the tip of his tongue through one of the holes suggestively. When Steve took in a shaky breath, Eddie winked and popped the pretzel into his mouth with a crunch.

After that, Eddie stopped with the pretzels and focused on the combat happening, leaving Steve sitting a short distance away with his cock actually straining against his fly. How was he supposed to get up and flee when he was in this condition?

But Steve didn’t want to flee. Deep down he desperately wanted to kick everyone out so he could crawl under the table and taste his boyfriend, to lap the salt from his thick cock the same way Eddie worked his tongue over the pretzel. Steve wanted to hop onto the table in front of Eddie and drag that pink, pretty, smug mouth onto his cock.

It was a hunger so intense that Steve felt fucking lightheaded with it.

“Alright!”

Steve was snapped out of his spiraling fantasies by the sharp clap of Eddie’s hands. He was glad the magazine he had been reading was covering his lap because the tent in his jeans was very obvious.

“We are taking a break! Someone should get on ordering pizza while we replenish snacks and drinks. Meanwhile, our amazing host will help me find a new shirt,” Eddie announced, and everyone basically scattered to the different tasks.

Steve blinked in confusion until he saw the wet patch on Eddie’s shirt. “What? When’d that happen?”

“Just a second ago. Got a bit overzealous when I grabbed my drink,” Eddie said slyly as he got up and walked across the room to loom over Steve. “You gonna help me out with finding a dry shirt, big boy?”

If he wasn’t so focused on getting his boyfriend alone for at least fifteen minutes before anyone came looking for him, Steve would’ve been embarrassed at how quickly he stood up. The two of them practically scrambled up the stairs into Steve’s bedroom where Eddie immediately slammed the door shut. With a shockingly graceful movement, Eddie had Steve pinned against it while he flicked the lock and soon, he was kissing Steve hungrily.

Steve melted under his ministrations, groaning thickly when Eddie bullied his tongue into his mouth. Eddie was everywhere it seemed, the long line of his body pressed against Steve’s front, his greedy mouth devouring Steve’s, both hands in Steve’s hair.

Then Eddie dropped to his knees with a too-loud thump and immediately began pulling at Steve’s belt and fly, yanking his jeans and boxers halfway down.

“Whoa, whoa-oh fuck, Eds,” Steve moaned as Eddie began mouthing at his balls and up the underside of his cock until he rested the tip of Steve’s dick against his soft lower lip.

Eddie’s big brown eyes looked up at Steve through his lashes, a smirk ticking up one side of his mouth as he poked his tongue out to tease the slit of Steve’s cock, lapping up the bead of precum that had formed at the tip. The noise that burst from Steve’s chest would’ve been embarrassing if he wasn’t so desperately turned on.

“Eds, please,” Steve panted, but Eddie just hummed and kept teasing, making Steve shake and whimper where he stood against the door.

Eddie’s hands left Steve’s body briefly, and Steve vaguely registered the sound of him rifling in his pockets. When Eddie’s hands returned, one wrapped back around his cock to stroke it slow and loose. The other one snuck between his thighs to touch slick fingers to his hole.

Steve’s legs shook dangerously as Eddie pressed two fingers into him and fucked them in out of him. All the while, Eddie just lapped at the tip of his cock, poking the slit with the tip of his tongue.

Then Eddie crooked his fingers just so, immediately finding Steve’s prostate with practiced ease and massaged it relentlessly. Choking on what would have been a scream, Steve watched as Eddie lapped up every thick spurt of cum he worked out of him. Each drag of Eddie’s fingers over Steve’s sweet spot punched a broken little whine out of him, and Eddie groaned happily as more precum dribbled onto his tongue.

“Eddie, please,” Steve sobbed, tears stinging his eyes as he shook against the door.

With a chuckle, Eddie pulled away slightly and smirked, a chain of precum stretching between his lip and Steve’s cock.

“Please, what, Stevie?” Eddie asked before angling his thumb to press into his taint at the same time he crooked his fingers viciously.

“Oh fuck, Eds, please, need your mouth, please,” Steve begged, his shattered voice raising in pitch as the pleasure mounted and mounted. There was now a steady stream of precum leaking from Steve’s cock.

“You have my mouth, though,” Eddie cooed, shifting forward so Steve’s cock was against his bottom lip again, moaning as he lapped at the slit again.

“In, please, in your mouth, need it so bad, please,” Steve gasped, his eyes crossing as Eddie began massaging his prostate again.

“I think you just want my mouth. You don’t need it, do you, big boy?” Eddie sighed, pressing a sucking kiss around the sensitive tip of Steve’s cock. This time, Steve couldn’t stop the near-scream that was ripped from him and he barely stopped his knees from buckling.

“Please, please, please Eds, you know-oh, fuck, Eds, you know I don’t—fuck, I don’t like coming like this,” Steve whimpered, which wasn’t the entire truth.

He liked coming like that, with just Eddie’s fingers working his prostate and taint, but it didn’t do much to settle him down. It would get him off, but he’d still be a bit hot and any amount of friction against his cock stood the chance of reigniting his arousal. It just meant he would be easy to rile back up.

Which was probably Eddie’s plan the whole time; get Steve off now in a way that wasn’t properly fulfilling, keep him hot and hungry for Eddie for another four hours, then devour him completely once the house was empty after Hellfire.

“You don’t like me milking your sweet little prostate, Stevie?” Eddie pouted without stopping, and Steve felt his balls draw up tight. He was about to blow, and he couldn’t even find the words to warn Eddie.

Eddie, however, knew Steve’s tells, especially the wordless ones, and he gave Steve’s prostate one last vicious jab. Steve strangled the scream that ripped out of him as he came in thick stripes onto Eddie’s tongue and chin. Pulling back, Eddie caught the last few spurts of Steve’s cum on his chest, truly wrecking his Hellfire t-shirt.

Steve didn’t even have a chance to catch his breath before Eddie was surging up to kiss him deeply, feeding him the mouthful of cum he caught. The fingers withdrew from his hole, leaving Steve empty and twitching which pulled a sad little whine from his throat. Distantly, he was aware of Eddie reaching between them, the sound of Eddie’s belt and then his fly opening. Steve registered the way Eddie’s arm was moving and knew his boyfriend was frantically jerking off, and he wanted to help but Eddie was kissing him too well.

As if reading his mind, Eddie pulled back and pushed Steve to his knees. 

“Take it, baby, ‘bout to come,” Eddie sighed, grinning almost maniacally when Steve’s lips instantly dropped open, his own cum still coating his mouth.

Eddie pushed his cock inside, and Steve took him as deep as he could manage, happy to choke and gag on the girth of him.

Eddie came within two thrusts and Steve swallowed every drop of it as it hit his tongue and the back of his throat. Eventually, Eddie pulled back and crouched in front of a dazed, very happy Steve, and kissed him senseless. 

“Now I really need to borrow a shirt,” Eddie giggled as he stood up and hurried over to the closet.

When they finally left Steve’s bedroom, they were confronted by Gareth standing at the bottom of the stairs with his arms crossed.

“What’s up, Garebear?” Eddie asked with an easy grin.

“We’re never having Hellfire here again,” Gareth started with an unimpressed glare, “if you two are going to loudly fuck upstairs while we’re all down here trying to eat.”

With that, Gareth walked away toward the kitchen and Steve grimaced.

“We’re never gonna hear the end of this,” Steve groaned, and Eddie laughed.

“Nope. Now let’s go face the music. I’m starving,” Eddie sighed, adjusting the yellow sweater he borrowed as he started walking away.

[ AO3 LINK ]

Taglist! @patchworkgargoyle, @scarcrossdlvrs, @amerikanskaya-krassavitsa (it's not letting me tag ur sideblog), @afewproblems, @mylilplanet, @steddie-there, @xenon-demon, @indigohightide I hope you enjoyed the fic!!! Please consider reblogging!! Let me know in the tags or the reblog comments if you would like to join the taglist for the other Steddie Week fics!

[dominimoonbeam]

The Other Way

To @ejunkiet, my beloved.

A David/Angel slight au. The meet cute in the woods.

 The Other Way

Angel hated hiking.

Why had they even agreed to this?

Okay, that was easy to answer. They hadn’t agreed, it had been a team building work thing and it was bullshit! And honestly, they’d been all for it and having a great time right up until they realized they were lost.

At first, they hadn’t exactly admitted to themselves that they were lost but now it was becoming unavoidable. The sun was setting and it was getting cold.

“Oh shit, oh shit,” Angel whispered every time they held their phone up to stare at that no service symbol. Fucked, that’s what they were! Fucked!

A branch broke and something whined.

Angel spun toward it, clutching their phone tightly to their chest and staring into the trees. “Hello?”

Oh, that was great. Real smart.

Another whine.

Angel jumped back a step, eyes feeling like they might pop out of their head any second. “Is someone there?”

Of course, no one was there! That was clearly an animal sound!

But it was a hurt animal sound…

They had to see if it was okay, didn’t they?

No! Of course, they shouldn’t do that! What if it was a bear or something and ate them!

What if it wasn’t a bear and they could help?

What if it was a bear but they still could help?

They had a responsibility to try!

Or did they?

Angel thought this whole situation was definitely the fault of their boss. They should never have been put in the wilderness to make these decisions! They were a city person! And if they saw a lost dog or a cat in a tree or a bird with a broken wing they sure as shit did something about it.

Was this different?

“Oh fuck,” Angel exhaled, pocketed their useless phone, and inched forward through the trees.

They quickly came up on the base of a rocky slope, a ledge of more trees far above, and there, on the ground, was a dog.

Angel hurried closer at that familiar shape pulling at their heartstrings, and then stopped short when they were close enough to realize this was absolutely not a dog.

They’d never seen a wolf before and certainly never imagined they could get this big.

It whined and twitched, legs curling in and scratching at the ground as he tried to get up.

Angel exhaled soothing sounds, inching closer. “Woah, okay… take it easy,” they tried in their gentlest voice.

The big canine jerked, panting, one eye lulling to the side to look at them.

His eyes were so yellow. Angel stopped again, hands out as if they needed to show this wolf with their palms that they meant no harm.

He huffed and tried to get up again, almost managing it before falling down again, one of his front legs clearly broken.

“Hey, take it easy,” Angel said, pulling their backpack of and squatting beside his head. He was big. Really big. Way too big to be normal. Angel pulled out their water bottle. “If I had cell service out here I could google what to do about your leg… For now, here,” they emptied their bag on the ground and then used the waterproof lining to create a bowl out of it, pouring all the water from the bottle in right by the wolf’s snout.

It looked at them again and Angel could have sworn it was scrutinizing them. Were wolves always this expressive? They got the sense he was judging them… But then he huffed and lapped up the water.

Angel smiled, relieved, and sat cross-legged beside him. They tried to pet him, but he rumbled a clear snarl, so they stopped.

They grabbed the candy bars they’d packed for lunch and unwrapped one, holding it out toward the wolf’s muzzle.

It eyed them again and they were definitely sure he was judging them now. “It’s all I have. I didn’t exactly know I’d find you.” They waved the candy close to his mouth.

He snapped at it, taking the whole them in a smooth snatch and twist. Like he knew exactly how a wrapper worked and how to leave it behind in their grip. His teeth were huge! Angel laughed excitedly. “Wow! You’re big!”

The wolf actually snorted and then whined and dropped its head down again, like this had been too much effort right now.

Angel nodded. “You sleep. I’ll keep watch for help.”

The wolf didn’t snort this time but it didn’t try to leave either.

Angel ate a candy bar and tried to think of a way to get them help. Eventually someone should come looking for them… They really were important at their company. They couldn’t see their boss just ditching them out there…

About an hour later it was dark and cold. Angel hugged their knees and watched the stars. “Tomorrow will be better,” they told the wolf, teeth clattering.

It stirred enough to huff, which sounded like a wolfy “yeah right” if ever they’d heard one.

And then the wolf moved a little, whining at the effort but settling it’s head closer to them, against their side. Angel froze for long seconds, expecting it to growl at them for the contact even though he had initiated it. There was no growling, just that deep even breathing of sleep and the warmth radiating off that thick fur. Angel leaned closer and closer, until they were pressed against the side of the wolf’s neck, their cheek to its shoulder and their body pressed in as close as they could get.

When they woke up, it was morning.

The wolf huffed and tried to get up again, almost managed this time and growled angrily when it didn’t.

“You’re getting better!” Angel said when he seemed discouraged.

The wolf bared teeth but didn’t snarl, head on its paws again.

Angel fed it another candy bar.

“We might need more water soon… I think there was a stream… That way?” they said, trying to decide which way they had seen a stream. The wolf looked dubious. Angel put their empty water bottle in their bag. “I bet I can find it…”

He rumbled, clearly uncertain of this plan.

Before Angel could get up, a string of howls echoed far away from the woods on the ridge above. It was so faint, but it was there and the wolf lifted his big head to try to see up the cliffside.

It tried to howl, the sound caught in its throat before it seemed to give up and drop its head again, eyes shut and breathing labored.

That must be his pack.

Angel cupped their hands to their mouth and howled as loud and as best as they could up toward the trees at the top of that ridge.

The wolf’s yellow eyes flung open and his head jerked to the side to stare at them.

Angel did it again and they both waited.

Nothing.

Angel sighed and got up. “Okay. I’m going to go… that way, and look for the stream. I’ll be back.”

The wolf rumbled.

Angel started walking but only got a couple steps.

“It’s the other way, dumbass!” a gruff, strained voice snapped.

Angel jumped, almost falling down in their surprise as they spun back around.

The wolf was gone.

GONE.

There was a man laying on the ground in the same spot, a broken arm to his chest and the side of his face bruised.

“What. The. Fuck!” Angel gasped out.

He rolled his eyes, wincing as he tried to sit up. “You have got to be the stupidest person I have ever met!”

“Excuse you?” Angel snapped, clutching the straps of their bag and marching those few steps back to him. He was a big man. He had been a big wolf. Really? Really!? Yes. “Fuuuuck. I’ve lost my mind.”

“Oh, I think you lost it way before you found me. I can’t believe you tried to pet me.”

“You… You…”

“I could have fucking killed you! What if I’d been an actual wild animal? Are you insane?”

“You were hurt!”

“I could have killed you!”

“But you didn’t!”

They stared at each other.

Angel frowned at the state of him. He looked a lot more banged up as a person than a wolf. “So…You fell?”

“Obviously,” he snapped.

Angel nodded. Of course, he was pissy, his arm was definitely broken. They stood there awkwardly for another second and then took a step back. “Okay, so… I’m going to go look for water and—”

“Wrong. Way.” He ground out.

Angel blinked.

He looked up at them again and then pointed with his good arm in the other direction. “The stream is that way.”

Angel smiled sheepishly and shuffled in that direction. “Okay. Cool. Be right back… What-What was your name again?”

He cringed and laid back down. They weren’t sure if he was in pain physically or if this was his dramatic mental anguish, either way they decided to let him have it. He was clearly having a worse time of things than they were. “I didn’t tell you. Fucking covert… If I die I guess it won’t be my problem anyway…”

Angel waited while he grumbled to himself.

“David.”

Angel smiled. It was a surprisingly normal name for a wolf person. They inched closer, pulled out their last candy bar, and put it next to him. He glared. He really did look a lot the same as he had as a wolf… “In case you get hungry or… you know…”

“In case you get lost again and can’t find me?” His voice pitched in shock as he said it.

Angel shrugged. They were just turning to go when he grabbed their leg. They looked down, marveling at the size of his hand wrapped around their ankle. And then they heard it, that low growling.

“Don’t move,” he said, voice low and just above a whisper.

A wolf stepped from the trees, followed by another to the left.

Angel blinked. “Are they… like you?” they whispered, but felt their stomach dropping in a way that told them they weren’t that lucky. These wolves were smaller than he had been. Three more came into view, lips curled and teeth bared, something about it making tears prick Angel’s eyes. “Oh shit…”

David growled, the sound far from human.

Angel felt like there was a weight on their chest, pressing hard, squeezing tears and air out of them.

He still had his hand around their leg, the squeeze solid but not bruising. His hand slid up, past their knee, to their thigh. He pulled them back, until they were shuffling around his side and he was letting go to push them behind him. He struggled to his feet, one arm still curled to his side.

The wolves snapped, moving closer.

Angel’s back hit the rock wall.

David shifted right in front of them and their mind tried to absorb the image of a man turning into a wolf. He snapped massive jaws and for an instant the wolves flinched back, startled, but he staggered with that broken leg and what looked like broken ribs too. Still he snarled, like yes, he was hurt, but no he wasn’t going to let them get past him.

Angel wasn’t sure if it was a bluff or not. They weren’t sure it mattered.

And then, just when two of the wolves were about to lunge in on him, a third aiming to dart around at Angel, a massive brown wolf surged in from the side, slamming into the one that had been aiming for Angel and snatching one of the others by the neck.

Angel held their breath, unblinking as two wolves descended on that whole pack, breaking up their hope of a meal in a matter of seconds and sending them all running.

David shifted into human again, knees hitting the ground with a grunt of pain.

The brown wolf that had shown up first cast a glance between him and Angel before shifting into a man too, catching David by the shoulders to steady him. “Hang on, big guy. We found you.” He looked at Angel again, smirking. “And you found…”

Angel perked up, scrubbing the tears from their face. “I found him,” they corrected.

The third wolf shifted too, coming over to kneel beside David and get a look at the damage.

“I’m Asher,” the standing one said, smiling.

David groaned. “Don’t introduce yourself! They’re a fucking covert disaster already…”

Angel ignored him, stepping up and offering their hand and their name.

Asher took it with the hand not propping up his friend. “Were you the one howling?”

Angel grinned. “You heard me?” They tapped at David’s back. “See! It worked! I saved you!”

David growled. “You did not.”

“They kind of did…” the third wolf begrudgingly mumbled. “Your arm is broken and so are your ribs. Do you want me to get a healer out here or do you think you can make it back to the road if we carry you?”

“There are healers?” Angel started bouncing but stopped when it made them feel lightheaded.

Asher’s gaze flicked over them curiously. “You’re a hiker?”

“I’m lost,” Angel explained.

David snorted like it was an understatement.

Angel laughed. “Screw you, dude, you’re lucky I got lost. I saved you!”

David groaned. “I don’t care if you throw me over your shoulder, Milo, just get me the fuck out of here.”

The one next to him, Milo, smiled like he was trying not to. “With those ribs, it’s more likely to be bridal style, boss…”

“What about them?” Asher asked, still looking at Angel. Why was he staring like that? It wasn’t a scary stare or a creepy stare…

“Leave them,” David grumped.

Asher smiled. “They’re about to faint…”

David swung around to stare up at Angel.

Angel blinked back, white spots in their vision. “No, I’m not.” The white spots grew and their stomach felt all jellylike.

The last thing they saw was panic on David’s face. “Asher!” he yelled and just as their legs gave out, the other man stepped in and caught them.

[popculturebuffet]

Disney 100th Birthday Special: Top 12 Disney Television Animation Shows

Happy Birthday all you happy people! And it's a very special birthday as it's the 100th anniversary of a company that, while I routinely mock on a regular basis for impaling themselves about a dozen time a year, has brought me a lot of joy. It was a 100 years ago that the wonderful world of disney began and 100 years later it's still bringing us some of the finest and funnest animation around and will likely continue for a hundred more as they create a whole disney planet serving up mickey shaped foods for all time around a disney owned star.

So before we can look forward to happiest dystopian future off earth, I thought hard about what I wanted to do for the 100th. I've covered disney a LOT on this blog: season 3 of ducktales AND the arcs for the two seasons before that, seasons 2 and 3 of both amphibia and owl house, classics like the Lion King and A Goofy Movie, a whole year worth of house of mouse reviews, shorts, various comics great and donald being pro illteracy.. the list could go on for an entire article itself.

So while I had PLENTY of options, from a shorts marathon to another movie, I decided the best way to honor this occasion was by focusing on a portion of disney near and dear to my heart: Disney TV Animation.

Way Way Back in the 1980s, DisneyTVA was formed by fresh faced executive overlord Michael Eisner. Eisner was looking to expand his new empire, and found a clever way to do it. See at the time while there were certainly good cartoons, most had the budget of a paper clip and a piece of string. It's why Disney took this long to get into the game: Walt thought he just coudln't get the quality needed on a tv budget and while he WANTED to at some point, he passed before that could happen.

Many laughed at this decision, citing it as a huge money sink waiting to happen.

Yeah critics not taking animation or kids watching it seriously isn't new and assuming they'll just watch anything is laughable. Yes low budget shows like Transformers got plenty of views... but transformers also put in high quality voice actors and intriguging designs. Take both of those and make the animation bouncier, and kids would notice.

And they did: The first Disney TVA show, Gummi Bears, was a massive success, leading to the planet sized one that was Ducktales and a whole legacy of classic shows.

There is a double edged sword here though: While most of these shows are high quality and well loved.. Disney tends to.. ignore they exist. They don't make merch, think adult and teenage fans aren't a think, and when it comes to merch don't usually tend to make it for these shows during or after their runs. There are exceptions and they are reviving stuff.. but disney has a bad habit to prefer cashing in on nostalgia than on what they have now unless it fits their narrow perameters

For me though.. Disney TVA is home to some of the best, most game changing shows in the medium. From shows I grew up with to shows that sadly just ended, Disney has made a ton of shows permeanntly embded in my heart. My doctor says I should get that removed but what does he know. At this studio are creators who are passionate, create unique works, and work very hard to stand out. Even when shows get slapped with the dreaded 2 season limits, they still stick in our hearts not just because of that nostlaagia pop disney wants, but because they were just that good and still hold up into adulthood. I've covered a lot of this library, owe my career to these shows and will never sotp being impressed by them.

So out of the 42 i've seen I whittled it down by 30 which was way harder than it sounded down to the very best. A few shows like Gargoyles I sadly just.. hadn't watched, so if something's missing it was either that or a very hard cut. Whlie the top 8 was shockingly easy, it was hard to narrow this list down to the very best. I'd also like to point out that this is my opinon: feel free to send me your own lists, i'd be curious to see how your own personal experinces shaped yours. But for now this is mine... and this is my top 12 best disney telvision animation shows.

12. The Weekenders Created by Doug Landale 2000-2004 4 Seasons, 76 episodes

Our #12 is a childhood faviorite of mine.. and also one of the two shows your most likely to hear me bitch about disney+ not having. IT'S BEEN ALMOST 4 YEARS.

But bitch complaning about disney being disney aside, the Weekenders is a charming classic that needs more eyes on it and it's weird I haven't covered frankly.

At any rate Weekenders is a slice of life show with a good yet simple hook: it follows 4 middle schoolers, Tino, Carver, Lor and Tish, as through their weekends from Friday after school to monday morning. It allows for the show to do pretty much whatever it wants, and what it wants is to be a fairly lowkey slice of life show. The only really zany element that I can remember, or that I saw in ToonrfiqTariq's excellent retrospective of the series, which you can find here, is main character Tino, a sarcastic but kind guy played by voice acting royalty James Marsden, talking to the audience zack morris style, which is really just a neat way to move things along so it's not that obtrusive. I highly recommend that retrospective by the way. Tariq is awesome and it helped jog my memory on the show.

The series is a fairly low stakes affair: our heroes have a fairly typical problem, they talk it out or deal with it as the weekend goes on, and at least once an episode they go for pizza at an ever changing pizza restraunt with a fun new gimmick each episode, something I loved already as a kid but love even more NOW as an adult knowing that gag was likely a LOT to do. Keep in mind they had to draw new backgrounds, exteriors, and a new costume for the guy running it every time. It's the kind of joke you think a series would've given up on for those reasons but nope, every episode has one.

Weekenders is a throughly charming slice of life show, helped by it's characters: In addition to tino we have the egotistical Carver (Phil LaMarr) thickheaded jock Lor (Grey DeLise) and immigrant nerd and vegtarian Tish. While the four coudl've easily fallen into their sterotypes there's just enough depth to the cast to make them work. Tish in paticular was my faviorite, not only being one of the first immigrant stories in a show I saw that was largely respectful and not just

It's a great show I genuinely wish I had more to say about. Find it somehow if you can, it's entirely worth it.

11. Phineas and Ferb Created By Dan Povmire and Jeff "Swampy" Marsh 2007-2015, 20XX- 129 Episodes, 2 Movies, Upcoming Revival

At a time when kids animation wasn't in the best place, Phineas and Ferb was the smash hit we all badly needed. Done by vetran creators and Rocko's Modern Life Alums, Phineas and Ferb was a fun, creative show about two boys who simply wanted to make the best out of summer... and happened to be child progidys only limited by their immgination, so they could do anything and the utterly catchy theme song helpfully outlined it. Having only watched the first three or four seasons, I still don't know if they ever found Frankensteins' Brain. It was over there.

While the a-plots with the boys were great most of the time and had a great supporting cast: Helpful scout Isabella, shrill voiced nerd Baljeet and bully turned buddy Buford, the real draw for most of us was the b-plot: each episode the boys Platapus Perry would sneak out, don a fedora and foil the plots of his arch enemy and best buddy Heinz Doofenschmirtz, an awkward mad scientest who rather than therapy decides to deal with the many, MANY traumas in his life by building various inators and talking to Perry. Their shenanigans inevitibly undo whatever our heroes did in time for their mom to never notice and just think their sister Candance needs help as she tries to bust them.

The show mostly used this loop for it's lengthy run, ocasionally mixing up the setting by visiting the kids grandparents or with a special, but it mostly went like this. This started as the shows strength as the repitition allowed them to REALLY play with the formula: lampshade it, subvert it, and play with it. Sometimes Perry would go to foil doof but it ended up being something benign like Doof trying to do a party for his Daughter or go on a date. Sometimes the boys would genuinely be trying to help Candance or she'd have her own concerns outside of bustin making her feel good. The show packed this with tons of lampshade hanging, catchy songs (after an early one made the network want it once an episode), and genuine heart. It's hard not to root for Phineas and his optimism and genuine cheer. Depsite "driving our sister insane" being a main lyric.. the kid has nothing but love in his heart for his sister and that simple goal of just wanting to do something fun or help someone each day makes this one of the sweeetest shows around.

So your probably wondering why it's so low. And it's really simple: it's constant status quo.. kind of wore it out for me. After a while there was no real reason for Linda NOT to know the boys were doing this. We never got any indication she'd care beyond "Maybe wear a helmet" or "Have candace watch you", neither of which would really STOP what they do every day. While Across the Universe was a great movie it having a MASSIVE snapback at the end is what eventually got me out of the show. It was hard to invest when the show wasn't willing to really change anything. In hindsight I do get some shows just function better as status quo shows and my bitterness has lessened and it's why this show ended up making the list: it's status quo could be frustrating.. but no one had more fun playing with it at the time than these two kids. And the hunchbacked old man what fights/is common lawed married to their platypus.

10. American Dragon: Jake Long Created by Jeff Goode Developed by Eddie Guzelian and Matt Negrete 2005-2007 2 Seasons, 52 Episodes AmDrag was part of the teen superhero boom on kids shows in the 2000's. Classics like Danny Phantom, My Life as a Teenage Robot, El Tigre and more came about at this time, with disney only dipping it's toes in twice with this show and another we'll get to soon enough.

That said.. American Dragon is an excellent show, mostly down to it's core: The show follows the titular Jake Long, a guy who on surface, from rapping part of his theme to his frosted tips to his skateboard comes off very much like an energy drink came to life and starred in it's own show. Which given the 2000's i'm very suprised never happened. But jake is somehow likeable.. he's a bit arrogant sure, but his arrogance is only in his skill: He genuinely does try his best as protector of new york, cares about his friends and cares heavily about his crush Rose. He's got a heart to him beneath the layers of axe body spray and Dante Basco's standout performance, what would easily have been his defining role as a VA had avatar not come along soon after, helps make this guy feel human.

What also helps boost it's show is it's myth arc. Like Danny Phantom a year before it, AM Drag breaks from the style of the time to have a dedicated arc and continuity. There's plenty of monster of the week stuff, some better (like the oracle twins, easily my faviorite side characters , who also have the fun gimmick of one being super cheery yet predicting horrible things and the other being jaded but seeing only good, with their powers being why (If you see every good thing that you'll ever get it makes it hard to enjoy them and if you see every possible horrible thing that happens to you, it makes the other stuff easier to swallow), some worse, and that can be a weaker part of the show.

But it's core arcs are what make the show it's most intresting. For the first season and a half we have the shows best: Jakes battles with the huntsclan, the foot clan.. if they were violent racists who slaughter magical creatures. Granted we don't SEE that on screen but the show does a good job showing us that no, that's what they are.

This itself would likely work.. but what makes it special and standout for the time it came out.. is the wrinkle they throw in: Huntsgirl, the Huntsclan's #1 guy and sidekick to the huntsman.. is Jake's crush Rose, a fairly well adjusted kind girl who simply dosen't know what she's been indoctrinated into, thinking Dragons are evil. This is a nice change of pace as at the time most relationships with teens and tweens in cartoons were either between some popular slab of cardboard of the characters best friend.

Instead Rose SEEMS to be the cardboard type.. but not only has depth outside of the hood, but the fact the audience can easily tell who huntsgirl is, Mae Whitman has a distinctive voice after all and as usual does a fantastic job only adds the tension: We know who rose is, but Jake doesn't and early on we don't know how much of her is real. And once the secret breaks we get the drama of both dealing with not only being on opposite sides but Rose realizing she was on the wrong one.

The arc after, focusing on a dark dragon isn't as strong in comparison, but it's also not entirely fair given they likely though they'd have another season and a half to wrap it up proper. That being said the series also has an interesting arc with Jake's overachieving younger sister, who goes from knowing about the dragon thing (his whole family does minus his dad for.. some reason) and showing some powers.. to being a dragon herself and often her brother's sidekick.

The show had it's weaknsesses, outside of the big bads there was never really much of an interesting Rogue's Gallery, Trixie felt a bit flat as a character, and again there was no good reason Jake's dad shouldn't know so we got stupid groundings and such. But we also got a compelling enemies to lovers arc with a lot of tension, a nice mythology, and profressor rotwood, Jakes teacher and magic hunter, a fun butt monkey for the show. It's a solid show that i'd love to see get a revivial.

9. Wonder Over Yonder Created by Craig McCracken 2013-2016 43 Episodes

Wonder Over Yonder is one of Disney's more infamous cancelations. Despite being DisneyXD's #1 show they not only barely promoted it, I wasn't aware the second season was going on till it was almost over and still need to get around to watching it, Disney cancelled it. Despite being well loved Disney cancelled it. It's not the worst cancellation on this list, that comes later, but it's still a pretty dang bad one. The fact they didn't put the show on Disney+ for some time dosen't exactly help.

Why Disney hated this show so much I'll never know as Wonder is one of the most heartfelt and creative show's disney put out. And keep in mind as I said i've only seen season 1. I know it gets even better with season 2's dedicated story arc and the introdcution of lord dominator. I've seen the musical number.

Wonder took inspiration from, of all things, dr. seuss, with Craig being an admitted fan of 60's and 70's astetics already, it just flowed naturally as we got the tail of a gentle tumbleweed whose kind and thoughtful to everyone he meets wether they desreve it or not and his tough as nails steed and best friend sylvia. The rolls are easily the best of Jack McBrayer and April Winchel's long careers, nicely contrasting each other in perfect ballance: Sylvia fights the battles wonder can't win with kindness or is too oblvious to realize he's in, Wonder wins fights simply by being too cheery and oblivious to beat.

Over their journey's they repeadtely run into our other main characters, Lord Hater, played by the awesome Keith Fergeuson, an over the top skeletial manchild who badly wants to be taken seriously but is too impulsive, stupid, and easily angered for him to actually achieve that depsite the help of Commander Peepers, his #2 and put upon lackey. Add in tons of great sets, fun scnearios and creative uses of animatoin and you have something unforgitable. McCracken really loves to play with storytelling here, from your standard genre breaks to simply taking a conventional tale like a kinight rescuing a princess.. and turn it into our heroes accidently assitating a stalking jerk and said princess easily clocking him one before they can all unite to save him. The show had so much fun with it's cast and heart in it it's really hard not to like and while it sadly ended too soon what we got... is something magical.

8. Clerks the Animated Series Created by Kevin Smith 2000 6 Episodes Like most of you are as you read this entry, I was suprised to find Disney TVA made this. To date this is Disney's only adult animated series, and the fox acquisition giving them a full studio for that tells me it'll likely stay this way unless they do something actiony for disney +. It's also far and away the shortest lived show on this list. only airing two of it's 6 produced episodes, neither of which was the actual first episode. ABC didn't like what they got, they buried it, standard corprate procedure, and thanks to DVD and Comedy Central airings the show went from quickly forgotten weird relic to one of the best animated adaptations out there and one of the poster children for shows too good to last.

I grew up with this show. Since I was too young for the kevin smith movies my brother was obessed with, the series was the first Kevin Smith related thing I ever watched and it's stayed with me since. The show's short.. but it's 6 episodes are absolutely STUFFED with great jokes. I could honestly spend the rest of the article quoting this series, from "Hey, it's ted danson" to "Why are we walking like this" to "The weed of crime bears bitter fruit you old hag!".... and that's just the second episode. Admitely in terms of tone, Clerks TAS.. is nothing like the movie. The original Clerks was a fairly low key film mostly driven by our leads Dante and Randall's conversation and the various people who came in. It was a character piece about being stuck in a dead end job, about ignoring rules versus blindly following them, and about two stoners who were in it for 5 minutes but became the backbone of this cinematic universe because their the best.

Clerks the Animated Series instead is a gleefully wacky romp where our heroes can't say fuck but do get into sitcommy hyjinks, from clipshows, to a rival buisness across the way, to the deadly motava virus, to a pastiche of the last starfighter turning into a pastiche of the bad news bears then a pastiche of temple of doom. As you can tell this show is kinda nuts and really just Kevin Smith getting to be all kinds of redicluous in the funniest way possible. He replaced being able to say fuck and talk about sex with hyjinks and turned randall from a charming if assholish slacker into one of the best dumbasses in animation. The show is a near constant laugh riot, beautifully animated too. It also naturally has the boys, with Jay and Silent bob still getting in lots of neat antics even if they can no longer deal on screen. Clerks the Animated series is one of the funniest shows there's ever been and I highly recommend seeking it out.

7. Milo Murphy's Law Created by Dan Povemire and Jeff "Swampy" Marsh 2016-2017, 2019 46 Episodes

Meet the show disney somehow treated WORSE than the last two. I swear when I put this list together I did not realize these three would be clustered together.

But yes, when I said there was a worse cancelation I meant it: Milo Murphy's Law was the dwampy duo of Phineas and Ferb.. and got utterly buried because Disney was mad it wasn't the mega hit that show was, forgetting that was also a fairly slow burn, or that you kow THIS IS A DIFFRENT SHOW. So they not only barely promoted the second half of season 1.. but then just sat on season 2 for a full year, with many an episode airing elsewhere long before that and released it over a few weeks. They then just.. straight up ended production to make a phineas and ferb movie. In fact despite a full soundtrack apparently existed only ONE song's gotten released from the show in full thanks to said movie's soundtrack. To say Disney screwed this show over is putting it lightly.

And it's a huge shame this show got buried as it did as Milo.. is freaking awesome. I mean I gave it a shot from episode one simply because it had Weird Al attached. Even if i'd gotten burned out on the previous show, i'll give anything Al's in a shot.

And that shot was worth it as from the first episode to the last, Milo is a truly charming show with, say it again ya'll, "a truly unique premise" . Disney has a knack for those don't it?

MML follows Milo Murphy, a happy go lucky 6th grader who meets new kid in town Zack.. who soon finds out Milo has a family curse, based on, of course, Murphy's Law; if something can go wrong, it will. So the universe bends over backwords to try to murder this tween and anyone around him... hence why while everyone likes Milo well enough, only his feisty hustler best friend Melissa really hung around before Zack took a chance on his new pal.

What makes the series great though is that Milo... dosen't ever angst about having murphy's law. You'd think with his life being a constant never ending string of disaster dominos, the guy would give up or we'd have one episode of him bedguging all he's missed out on. Instead.. Milo sees his life as an adventure, enjoys in the shenanigans he gets into and simply packs his backpack to be prepeared and keep his spleen in tact. He's a sweet, kind, optimist who helps people no matter what and dosen't let his curse get him down or stop him from living his life. It's milo that makes the show this good, having to both work around his jinx as well as many an adventure coming from people's reaction to him: From his love intrest Amanda intitally avoiding him due to being a perfectionist only to let him in more once she realizes what a kind guy he is, to the local security guard played byc hristan slater being an absolute dick to him, we see how it impacts his life.. but how he also enjoys his life regardless.

The series also has it's own perry equilvent, Dakota and Cavendish, who genuinely drive the seasons story arcs, two time policeman and ambigously gay duo who try to prevent pistachos from being destroyed.. then do the opposite once i'ts clear it'll cause the end of the world. They add to the story.

What puts this show up here, and way above phineas is that it's not afraid of change: the basic status who dosen't, but the show has a story arc for each season, characters grow and change with Zack getting more used to the chaos around his bestie, the relationship with amanda I mentioned, and most importantly Dakota and Cavindish finding out about milo fairly early on and vice versa, allowing their plots to intersect. It's also really damn funny.

Honestly the show's only this low because the top 6 are REALLY that good.. and because season 2 kinda crams Dr. Doofinschrmitz in there on what feels heavily like an executive mandate. Sometims he cab be a bit overbearing.. but the show's still up this high because frankly, Doof was the best part of his previous show and still gets a LOT of great material, paticuarlly this bit.

Also his friend there is Jeff. Jeff is a man who lives underground. He's great. And this series is, badly underated. I can't wait to see these characters again as it's been directly said that while their tabling it for the first two seasons apperances by characters from the previous two shows aren't off the table for hamster and gretel, they just learned from this one to wait, but while I wait.. what we got.. is still damn magical.

6. Kim Possible Created by Bob Schooley and Mark McCorkle 2002-2007 4 Seasons, 82 Episodes, 2 Movies, 1 Live Action Reboot Film

Kim Possible was one of my faviorite shows as a kid, and for good reason. Even over two decades later, the show still holds up as a smart, hilarious, and well done spy show. I also will gladly count it as part of the teen superhero boom as it hits a lot of those tropes too.

The setup however is nicely unique: Rather than work for a big spy orginzation (Though she does freelance in a few episodes for SHIELD expy Global Justice), or for money or what you'd expect from a world class adventuerer and super spy, Kim is just an above average teen whose fairly smart, popular and really damn good at both gymnastics and kicking people who does the job because it's the right thing to do and her organization is really just four people: herself, Wade, a child progidey who finds jobs for her, Ron, her best friend, eventual love interest, and overly panicky but loveable goofus, and Ron's pet Rufus who counts because he saves their lives quite a bit simply by being in ron's pocket and being smart enough. He's also a naked mole rat and the reason I know those exist.

While the show has a strong supporting cast with screen legends Gary Gole and Jean Smart as Kim's Rocket Science and Neurosurgeon parents, her annoying twin brothers, her sarcastic best girl friend monique, her annoying rival bonnie and my personal faviorite her authorative yet still resonable and utterly hilarious teacher Mr. Barkin, played by my boy Patrick Warburton, one of it's biggest strengths is Kim's Rogue's gallery.

Like I said with americna dragon a lot of the weakness for these teen hero shows is that they genuinely only have one or two major foes that are actually you know.. memorable. In contrast Kim has a LOT of intresting and fun villians of the week, not a huge pool but enough to keep it intresting with plenty of fun one offs. The main one is Dr. Drakken, played by John Dimaggio in one of his best parts and Shego, played by Nicolle Sulivan in her best role, an over the top , hammy shortsighted blue mad scientest and his snarky assitant who does most of the punching and is easily kim's physical equal. The two show up the most out of Kim's rogues, and while this on paper could get reptitive the two's banter is great, they play off our heroes fantastically, and they frankly never seemed to run out of great schemes for Dr. D to do.

There were other greats too, my personal faviorites being Senior Senior Senior and Senior Senior Junior, character actor Ricardo Montalban in his best role as a rich old man who after accidently blacking out paris, takes ron's suggestion he had all the makings of a super villian to heart and using his vast wealth to arch our heroes for fun while Junior.. badly dosen't want any part of this. Ther'es tons more I could gush about from DNAmy to the bebes, to my boy Frugal Lucre, a guy who works at a wallmart expy and barely spends money on his arching suplies.

The show's other weapon is it's writing: it's clever, hilarious, and the main duo are incredibly likeable: Kim is incredibly compitent but just as prone to teen angst as anyone her age, while Ron is incredibly panicky and goofy but far more compitent than he seems or he thinks himself to be. Our leads, Kristy Carlson Romano and va god Will Fridle in my faviorite role of his, have an effortless chemstriy between them, even before it turns romantic. You see how valuable their friendship is and how much they need each other even when they bicker.. and it turning romantic just feels.. natural. There's a risk there, and i'll likely go more into tha twhen I eventually cover so the drama (Either later this year if I can squeeze it in or early next year), but needless to say their the gold standard for friends to lovers and I love them.

The show is just.. damn good and worth checking out if you haven't. It's on Disney+ , all of it including the reboot film which is.. alright. not as good as the series but thanks to great casting and the creators involvment , still solid. Call it, beep it, reach it, it's a masterpiece and I badly hope those revivial rumors are true as i'd love to see this cast as adults.

5. Amphibia Created by Matt Braly 2019-2022 3 Seasons, 58 Episodes

Anoyone whose seem this blog before probably saw this coming. I mean I covered two whole seasons of the show and deeply love it's main cast. And Maddie. God bless my creepy frog daughter. So it being this high up isn't a huge shock.. but damn if it dosen't deserve it. Amphibia isn't perfect: some of the one off episodes, even those important later, aren't the best... but the show still plays one of the best long games in animation. The character arcs are well set up from the get go and we follow our lead Anne Boonchuy from reckless and irresponsible teen plunked into a frog world to a strong empathetic heroine who has to save both worlds from a tyrant and his abusive computer dad. Along the way there's betrayal, slice of life shenanigans, and lots of cleverly done worldbuilding. And some padding. There's just a touch padding. But the strong character arcs not just for Anne but her friends (With Sasha being my easy faviorite but Marcy not exactly far behind and complex and engaging enough to get her own spinoff journal), found family and even her earth family. It's a beautifully done three act story: what seems like a lonnnng time spent in the rural town of Wartwood ends up not only buliding up the show's supporting cast but characters who are vital to the world's salvation later. The second season shows how far anne has come while also building out the world, continuing Sasha's arc as she spirals further and giving us the glory that is marcy, cumilating in season 3, a fantastic season that reverses the premise to amazing effect and ends with a truly satisfying conclusion.. even if SOME of the getting there is messy. Hey it's #5 for a reason.

IT's a well built, hilarious, and heartfelt human into swamp water story, and one of my faviorites. I only don't say TOO much as I want anyon ewho hasn't to try this themselves. Amphibia is a masterpiece and if you haven't seen it it's WELL worth the binge with one of the best voice casts in animation (Something that's really true for everything from far out), really choice world building, and a satsifying ending. This section may of been short but damn if i don't love this show with a lot of my heart.

4. Gravity Falls Created by Alex Hirsch 2012-2016 2 Seasons, 40 Episodes

Another fairly obvious pick.. but one I weirdly HAVEN'T covered on this blog. I'll really have to fix that next year. Still just because something's obvious dosen't make it any less true. Gravity Falls is easily one of the most influental animated series of the 2010's, right up there with adventure time in kicking off the animation renaissance of that era and several of it's crew, including Matt Braly from the previous entry and a certain someone else coming up, going on to make stellar shows of their own.

It's rep and influence is well earned: Gravity Falls, like, as i've realized writing this, EVERY show on this list has a very simple elvator pitch: two kids spending the summer with their weird elderly uncle at his toursist trap get into paranormal shenanigans: Dipper as he tries to unwrap the mysteries of their temproary home and Mable as she tries to make friends, find a boy to smooch and genuinely ambles through life. She also gets a pig.

The simple setup belies not only a fairly intriguing mystery with a truly amazing twist halfway through season 2, but a fun arc villian in LIttle Gideon, the con artist next door, town hero and phony psychic, but a one of a kind, memorable and all time great vilian in Bill Cipher, a little triangle man who also happens to be a mad nightmare god trying to get into our dimension whose Chucky levels of deeply disturbing and terrifying as he is incredibly funny and charastmatic.

The rest of the cast is no slouch: Dipper and Mable are incredibly likeable, Wendy is great, played by personal faviorite of mine Linda Cardenlli and criminally underused and Soos, voiced by Hirsch along with Stan, Bill and MANY other characters, is a loveable dum dum 20 something who treats our heroes like surrogate siblings.

The real star of course, and the show stealling heart of the show is Stan Pines, the kids corrupt uncle and one of the most hilarious, and once we learn his deal heartbreaking and suprisingly complex, characters in all of animation. This show is on this list on it's own merits but woudln't nearly be so high without stan, a constant laugh machine, quote factory and powerhouse performance by Hirsch, who despite being new to voice acting steps into it like he's done this for decades. From teaching a bear to drive, to wondering if it's wrong to punch a child to "yes yes burn the child" and of course his greatest folly

Stan constantly boosts the show by existing. Add in strong character ties, a compelling mystery and, like most shows this high up a hell of a finale, and you have a true classic that understadnably changed animation forever.

Also i'm pretty sure Stan killed at least two people in that clip. No one ever talks about that. I mean I knew he had a body count but still.

3. Recess Created by Paul Germaine and Joe Ansolabehere 1997-2001 4 Seasons, 65 Episodes, 4 Movies

Recess is the oldest work on this list, ending just before KP and American Dragon started (though it'd air long into their runs as this show ran forever and rightfully so). It was also part of my childhood, airing long after it finished and being tender the whole way through.

Recess is a masterwork: while many a show stuck with me from childhood this is one that thinking back I can remember the episodes vividly, and given my memory is spotty that says something. It's a show with a lot of style, having it's characters dressed out of the 50s and 60s, with a cold war subtext I never had, but keeping it in the present to relate to kids when it's airing. It creates a vibe tha'ts both of it's time (the monstickers ep is very much of the pokemon boom), and timeless (kids STILL collect pokemon cards and despite some morons best efforts have recess and still form little clicks).

It takes two simple things kids grapple with, unfair teachers and authority figures and cliques and social circles and simply blows it up to be as big as it was in our heads: I remember having epic duels with the kids I played with , wars, whole conflicts and recess meets things on that level: the world of recess is one where the playground has a lineage of kings, the kindergartners are a feral tribe, two kids can reguarly acess shovels, and the local snitch is some sort of combination of gollumn and a weasel while keeping it just grounded enough for adults to relate to. Where rebelling against authority involves elaborate heists.

It's a perfect kind of show for kids: it meets them on their level, as it did when I was a kid.. but is smart enough that as an adult you can still enjoy it. It helps that most of the cast is three dimensional:

TJ is a loveable scamp.. but a good chunk of his schemes aren't just to stick it to the man or get some reward for him and his running crew, but to help kids. TJ's just as likely to break out of detention as he is to help a kid this week simply because they need it. He'll even help Randall, the local snitch I mentioned, despite his better judgment, simply because it's the right thing to do. He'll have to be talked into it because.. it's Randall. Randall sucks, But he'll do it. Spinelli is the tomboy of the group and will fight everyone, but has a good side to her and struggles with being a girl when she relates more to being masculine, something that's only become more relevant with time and can be read a lot of ways. Mikey is the big kid.. but a soft kind giant who deals with being sterotyped for his side. Vince is the sports kid... and okay most of his plots are around that, but we do get neat bits like him being ashamed his brother is basically urkel and having to learn his brother still slaps because unlike Urkel he dosen't harass women. Gretchen is a massive nerd, and the first role in Ashely Johnson's long and storied career, but also gladly paticipates in the schemes, has a lot of heart, and struggles.

And finally we have my boy Gus, the new kid at the start and the one I related most to being a nerdy nervous wreck myself: but he's gladly accepted into the rest of the gang, and finds a home at long last after moving around his whole life. He's got layers to him: he's a military brat, he's never really had stablility int erms of friendship, and he's often put upon, having to deal with King Bob being a jerk to him for being the new kid or bullies. Yet he's got a good heart despite being the nervous one of the group the biggest heart of them and will gladly stand up for himself when the chips are down.

Not only are these 6 fleshed out and relatable.. but they have a wholesome friendship. They'll fight sometimes, kids do, but despite being vastly diffrent people who on paper shoudln't really be hanging together.. you never doubt they like each other or would drop everything to help one another. Mostly because a good chunk of episodes are just that. Gretchen and Gus are never picked on by their friends.. teased a little, maybe , Spenelli be like that, but these six kids love and respect each other on level that's just heartwarming. You never doubt for a second these six are friends, even with Gus not having their shared history. He just fits because they like him, he's willing to do what's right, and he's a good kid. TJ is brave and noble, Spnelli is tough but dosen't punch down, Vince is cool, Mikey is insightful and kind, Gretchen is smart and clever and Gus ahs a good heart. You see the good they see in each other and it shows our diffrences.. make us better. There may be cliques at recess, but when the chips are down, TJ can get them to work together.

The series also just had a knack for creating really memorable episodes that feel entirely relatable: a trading card style boom leads to TJ becoming a rags to riches tycoon, swinger girl who always swings trying to do what all kids did and reach the other side leads to a tale about things we can't explain when she seemingly dissapears, a simple punishment leads to TJ"s teacher psychologically torturing him, a fake swear word leads to an ENTIRE COURT CASE, all stuff that's somehow realistic. The show's premise was a tool box that allowed them to tell a ton of diffrent stories, a lot of which with really adult, meaningful lessons, and the show never really got old. It only ended because Disney's attempts to continue it simply didn't work out and even with the 5th grade eps as an epilogue, it has a hell o a finale in the movie. The whole run's on disney+ and I.. really need to revisit it.. and to review it next year if possible.

2. The Owl House Created by Dana Terrace 2020-2023 3 Seasons, 43 Episodes

Let's face it even if the article image hadn't tipped my hat here.. this one being high up .. was a given. I've gushed about this show at length, covering it as season's 2 and 3 ran out, written fanfiction on this blog, and since I started doing them the show's always ranked decently on my 20 best animated episodes lists I do each year, and will likely have a spot this year for the finale. My love of this show is something I don't remotely hide and have no reason to. So it being #2 on this list is an obvious pick.. but one i'm happy to be obvious with. In fact with these last two their pretty nearly tied in my heart and it was one inching out the other.

And the weird thing is.. I didn't even watch all of season 1. I watched the first half much as I could, but while I liked it I didn't get really heavy into it. The characters were charming, the designs great and it was nice to have a show where Wendy Malick was not only voice acting, but had a MAJOR role that really let her show off her chops. I've always loved her and it was a lot of fun to get a roll this good. It was also nice to have Alex Hirsch back. The show wasn't without style, a compelling lead, a hell of a romantic arc or other attractions.. but it wasn't till later in season 1 when classicsl ike encahnting grom fright and the finale REALLY made the show into what it became.

This lead to season 2.. which is one of the best seasons of television i've ever seen, and tha'ts with the fact that halfway through they had to massively reorganize the plot to fit into 10 episodes and 3 specials, something that's only really noticable in hindsight. And i'm not hyperbolizing: the show was good before.. but season 2 enriches everything, giving the characters more depth, paticuarlly king who goes from an afterthought in season 1 to the emotoinal core of the season and Alex Hirsch's best roll... which given Stan above says a LOT. Season 2 takes the foundations of the show and really plays with them, with pretty much everyone getting a deeper character, the school stuff forced into season 1 downplayed into just showing up as needed, allowing for way more story freedom and belos increased presence and hell of a true self reveal giving us one of Disney's greatest villians. Add in hunter as a new main cast member and best good soft boy, and you have a riviting saga that kept me enthralled the whole season. Even the weaker episodes add something, and the result is something that can't be topped: a show tha'ts funny, heartfelt, unmistakably queer and unquestionably well crafted.

It also managed to pull off one hell of an ending, not only introducing my murder child who learns his lesson the collector, but doing so with only three specials to wrap up what they shoul'dve had a season to. It's a show that like Gravity Falls before it is bound to really shake up animation and influence many a show to come an dI can't wait to see the results. A true epic about finding yourself, religious indoctrination and eldrich owl and tube shaped parasites, this show is something that may never be topped and was an utter joy while it lasted. Hoot.

1. Ducktales Based on DuckTales by Jim Magon /Uncle Scrooge by Carl Barks Developed by Matt Youngberg and Francisco Angones 2017-2021 3 Seasons, 69 Episodes Like #2... #1 is a show my love of has been transparently obvious: Covering season 3 started this blog, i've covered seasons 1 and 2's story arcs, and done a ton of other duck stuff from a full three cabs retrospective, to donald shorts to the very duck adjacent goofy movie. While I haven't done as much duck content this year, a shame really, and still need to finish my life and times retrospective some day... my love of Disney's Ducks has been something i've had since college and this series not only revitalized it but sent it into the fucking stratosphere with the gold standard for reboots. DuckTales is the only show here based on an existing IP, but still manages to be super creative with it. Matt and Frank took nearly 100 years of Duck stories (not hyperbole, Donald turns the big 1-0-0 himself next year), taking from the legendary barks comics, the worthy successor rosa comics, the giant pile of European duck comics, the shorts, the movies, anything Donald , Scrooge or the Boys had been in, every bit of the disney afternoon, and everything else they could shove in to creat the defintive duck universe: Something that fully and lovingly respects what cames before but uses it all to create something fresh and wholly it's own. The cast is a nice mix of reinventions of old characters and brand new ones just as good if not even better.

This can be seen well with the core cast: Scrooge only gets changed slightly, but those slight changes were BADLY needed: Scrooge is still a guy with flaws: he can get far too focused on the goal ahead and not the human cost, is egotstical as all hell, and disconected from the common person. He can raid a tomb better than anyone, sorry Indy and Lara, but god help him if he tries doing an interview or produce a film. It's a nice ballance: he's out of touch and crotchety as usual, but far less of an abusive asshole. It's also clear that while the bin stores a lot of his treasures, and he won't take one if it's owners need it, being more than happy to give Djinn his family's lamp for instance, with it only being a whole thing because Louie sold it. It paints him more as a historian than a theif and robber baron, while still keeping the nice flaws that make him who he is: he's still cheap, he just won't underpay his staff and in fact mostly recurits people other employers give up on for being too weird.

The rest of the cast is given a more extensive but needed overhall: My boy Donald is less of the likeably selfish ass he usually is, instead a loveable dad who still destroys everything he touches, but spends the first two seasons living entirely for his kids. He's more mature while still being the idiot we love.

Everyone else.. is a huge change as I said. The biggest and best.. is the boys. Usually Huey, Dewey or Louie are a hive mind of goody goods.. or obnoxious boys. Depends on what the story needs. It always annoyed me that when you have three characters there their not at all distinct and there's no real need for them. Thankfully the creators of this show understood that and thus evolved the boys into three seperate people: Huey is more like the barks comics versions, a junior woodchuck, close to his mom and uncles, and exitable.. but with a nice fine pace of neurodivergence and anxiety that not only makes him relatable to me but a fairly likeable kid: one scared of change but with all the potetial in the world. Dewey takes ab it after the more sterotypically 80s moments of the boys in the show, being a rad dude with a penchant for acting out.. but instead of a sexist bully or jerk like the boys could be, Dewey is a pure theater kid who badly wants attention and has no impulse control. He's basically Hank Venture , age 12 and i'm here for it. Finally Louie takes the boys more scheming moments from the comics and shows and boils it down into a gen z slacker who wants to work smater not harder, and not work at all if needed, who evolves from heartless lazy schemer and evil triplet to a keep observer whose just mildly shady.

While the barks 5 are all acounted for we also get nice overhauls for the ducktales three original core characters: Webby gets the best, going from just "small baby child babY" to a hyperactive girl who is easily near scrooge's level in adventureeing.. but has no idea how to socalize and still loves sparkles. She's empathetic, brave, and a contrast to what woudl turn out to be her old man: instead of growing to shut people out , she starts out badly wanting to let everyone end. Beakley likewise gets a glow up from "old lady stertotype whose constantly flustered" to "badass british former secret agent, only sane man and gender swapped brock sampson" , with Launchpad being made a loveable doofus, but still compitent since Donald's here to be the everyman.

The cast.. only gets better as it goes: Ducktales took a huge leap and decided "Hey what ABOUT the triplet's mom" turning della from a question mark that was answered all of once across nearly a century.. to a character just as vallad as her brother and uncle who have said near century on her: Della is Donald's opposite: brave, confident.. but a mess herself and stuck on the moon for half the series. Paget Brewster does a phenominal job.

I emphasise the series characters.. because tha'ts it's heart: it has solid plots, revamps and what not.. but it's a giant, instnatly loveable cast of characters: The side cast is MASSIVE pulling from all over duck history: Fehtry makes his debut, Gladstone is taken from easily one of my most hated characters in the comics to a far more loveable schister, Rockerduck finally debuts, Glomgold is turned from "Scrooge but evil" to someone badly trying to copy scrooge and the most glorious weirdo in all of fiction. Seriously Keith Fergusons glomgold is fucking majestic, and while he's never really a major threat his overinfalted ego, lack of planning, obessions with sharks and bombs and general haminess made him one of the best parts of this. You also get Magica as a genuine threat , and a mess later, Scooge's parents having a more active roll, Fenton having more of his own personality and weird swing for the fences complete and utter makeovers like Doofus Drake going from doofy kid to a very weird child who needs therapy, Donald's neighbor nemisis being his therapist or taking the zombie from voodoo hoodo, one of th emost racist and questionable things in duck comics history.. and instead making him into an unstopable juggernaut frankenstein curse ont he rich.

And of course the original cast.. is impecable. My adopted Daugther Lena is the clear standout, having covered her whole story arc on here and loving the character a lot, A cool teen TM who ends up being a traumtized girl badly needing a home, her stoic and neurodivergent sister violet, the egon to her venkman, fuckboy Mark Beaks, great final boss Bradford, gay icon Storkules, gay icon Selene, everyone's least faviorite dick Zeus.. I really coudl go on for some time and easily could but this article has taken a while. The show just had a knack for memorable loveable characters and making this world feel truly alive and humungous and scope, with gorgeous art designs.

It also had a great throughline, with Scrooge going from a man who pushed everything a way.. to the man who truly has everything, everyone growing along the way, and a finale that while a bit messy and leaving us hungering for more, really got to the hart of the show: a family that comes together after being torn apart and adds a LOT to them. It's a show unlike any other, and was truly the dream of a life time.. and I coudln't put anything else at #1. Thanks for reading.

[twistedtummies2]

Year of the Bat - Number 29

Welcome to Year of the Bat! In honor of Kevin Conroy, Arleen Sorkin, and Richard Moll, I’m counting down my Top 31 Favorite Episodes of “Batman: The Animated Series” throughout this January. EPISODE QUOTE: “The final stunt IS the best.” Number 29 is…The Ultimate Thrill.

This is widely regarded as the most…um… “suggestive” episode in “Batman: The Animated Series.” While the show was not above a few innuendos and implications here and there, they were usually pretty subtle. This episode, rather infamously, basically turns any undertones into overtones: subtlety is not part of the game. You can decide if that specific element is a good or a bad thing, but it certainly makes it memorable. Regardless, that’s NOT the real reason I love this story. “The Ultimate Thrill” focuses on the exploits of a character named Roxy Rocket: an original villainess created for the DCAU. She actually got her start in some spin-off comics for the franchise; the creators enjoyed the concept of the character so much, they finally gave her an animated outing with this story. The basic plot is pretty simple: Roxy teams-up with the Penguin, stealing jewelry for him while he acts as the fence, paying her for her work and then pawning off the baubles to the highest bidder. Penguin gets fed up with Roxy’s overzealous thrillseeking, however, and – out of fear she may cause trouble for his business at the Iceberg Lounge – tries to have her assassinated. Batman must now try to capture Roxy, before Penguin’s minions get to her first. It's the two villains who make this story so memorable. In Penguin’s case, this is the only really major story he had in the New Batman Adventures era of the show. He popped up frequently throughout season four, but it was usually as a cameo or just a minor supporting role. In this story, he’s the main villain (not the main ANTAGONIST, but the main VILLAIN; there’s a difference), and I really like the way he’s used here. By this point in the series, Oswald Cobblepot had seemingly reformed and was running a prestigious nightclub called the Iceberg Lounge…but was secretly still a villain, doing his dirty deeds out the back window. It was great to see that character concept in full action here.

Roxy, however, is the one who truly makes this story. Her origins are only described, not shown, but setup for the character is really great: once upon a time, Roxy was a movie stuntperson, and an aspiring actress. However, her stunts became increasingly dangerous, to the point where no one wanted to hire her for fear of either herself or others being hurt in the process. Roxy thus turned to a life of crime, figuring that nothing could be more thrilling than the life of an outlaw. We’ve had other villains who enjoyed the thrill of the chase, so to speak – Catwoman is a good example, for instance – but none quite so…intensely as Roxy Rocket. To say that Roxy is an adrenaline junkie is putting it far too mildly. It’s made pretty darn obvious that she basically “gets off” on thrills; that’s where so much of the more suggestive side of the story comes from.

Even ignoring that specific angle, though, it’s just interesting to see HOW MUCH of a thrillseeker Roxy is. She will do literally ANYTHING, it often seems, just to get some excitement. From very simple things, like mock-gambling, to outright taking pleasure out of the thought of her own possible demise, it seems like she’ll try just about whatever, short of murder, simply for the sake of a little excitement. On that note, yeah, Roxy’s also not really depicted as outright EVIL, but simply a thrillseeking lunatic: in both this episode and her comic appearances from the DCAU, she’s consistently depicted as being much less violent and cruel compared to a lot of other baddies. There are even hints of a sort of self-deluding naivete to Roxy: she describes herself out loud as “the heroine of the story,” and seems legitimately shocked when other characters turn against her. When Penguin tries to kill her, she’s absolutely flabbergasted. When Batman snaps the cuffs on her at one point, she’s genuinely confused why. I love the different layers of this character, and I really wish we could have seen more of her…but you can certainly say that her single appearance (barring a Superman crossover) was a banger. Did I mean it “that way” when I said “banger”? Maybe, maybe not. With Roxy Rocket, neither would be surprising. Ha Ha.

Tomorrow we move on to Number 28! Hint: “Sometimes there are no happy endings.”

[blackmouthdog]

Fish Fry

Because at the end of the day, I found a better way to fry fish like you...

There was very little light in the space-an empty barn this time around, not that there needed to be a lot. A single standing floodlight attached to a bright orange extension cord was focused on the metal folding chair missing its seat cushion in the center of the area. Rather, focused on the naked man tied down with various brightly hued elastic bunjee cords keeping his arms behind his back and feet tied to the legs.

He was an average-looking man, nearly nondescript. Thinning brown hair, somewhat portly build, pale skin denoting a lack of time outside. An office worker perhaps, certainly not the sort to find himself in such a predicament. He seemed confused at first, then abject fear struck him when he seemed to realize the situation.

He turned his head in the darkness, spotting the woman as she madd her presence known, the clanking of an old rust-painted metal toolbox announcing her arrival before she could be seen.

Immediately the man began to blubber and beg, the typical whines of 'who are you' and 'what are you doing' repeated ad nauseum like whatever bubblegum pop song of the week on the local radio stations. Nothing new, easier to ignore. Tick wholly ignored the man, setting the box down by the light stand and squatting deeply to look through the tool box, not saying a word or dignifying the man's pleas with any sort of response.

A few clanks, selecting a few tools before turning to face the sobbing man. His cries didn't cease, his pleas didn't stop- but his eyes remained dry, his expression twisted too far into a grimace that seemed unnatural even for his situation. Tick didn't need to See, years of doing so she became old hat at spotting them....

She held a few tools in her hand- a metal sledge, a handful of long black nails, and an awl-like tool with a pointed chisel tip. The man could see her face now, the smear of inky black in streaks down her chin, lining her eyes, as if she had been crying and vomiting oil. She smelled heavily of copper and coal, earthy yet unnaturally so.

She approached, her face as stoic amd expressionless as if in distant thought. She set down the hammer and nails on the ground nearby, looking to the awl then back to the man before, finally, speaking.

"Who is Below?" She asked, her drawl flat and calm casual.

"Wh-what? What are you-"

The man's words were cut short by a screech from his own throat, the hunter driving down the sharpened chisel into the man's knee. Deft aim- or merely excessive practice- Tick suddenly jerked the handle of the awl down and away from the man's thigh, the pop and snap of tendon as patella separated from the rest of the structure with ease.

"Who is Below?" Tick asked again, tone and pitch never changing despite the empty barn now filled with the screams of the naked man. The man sobbed grossly in pain, panting out some nonsense- plea for mercy perhaps? Curses?

It wasn't what Tick was after.

In a fluid movement she removed the awl and stabbed it into the man's other knee- this time below the bony structure and pulling up with notably less effort. The screams began anew, inhuman, animal- no, nothing natural was behind those cries. Tick recognized a Parasite easily, they never cried properly, they lost any hint of animal humanity long ago. She watched the man shake in pain, waiting for his cries to die down before merely tilting her head to the man.

"M̵i̸i̵'̶l̸u̴ă̴ ̵M̴a̶h̸t̶'̴Ă̵d̸a̴n̸ų̵," she spoke again, her voice warped, an echo behind each fluid syllable. The man lunged his chin forward, wretching and convulsing slightly as finally the command pried the answer from him as easily as she had pried his kneecaps up. The name he spoke spilled from him like bile, a choking mess of syllables that were pulled from him with force. Tick listened, tapping the awl to her thigh, wiping away the black blood smeared on it. She gave a small nod, turning back to the toolkit once again.

The man panted and coughed, head hung to his chest as Tick replaced the awl and took a few more things out. Heavy pliers, a tube of PVC pipe, and a small coil of razorwire held now in a hand protected by a heavy work glove. The naked man had a feeling this interrogation was far, far from over...

--

Tick wiped her hands on an old handkerchief, wiping down her tools as well before putting them back. Work was just getting started, not bothering to look to the smoldering heap behind her of the screeching man behind her. His cries were garbled- nailing someone's tongue to their chest tended to have that effect. Still tied to the chair, though tilted forwards with the man's backside in the air. The PVC had been diacarded by now, and the razorwire coiled slightly behind him shortly like the tail of a pig. Apt given his method od being dispatched.

The body burned like old dry rotwood, she knew nothing but ash would remain, the barn itself would burn and leave nothing behind, a sacrifice for the Green to reclaim again. She spoke her small prayer again before looking to the rather bored-looking dog nearby.

Once things were cleared up, she gave a small, quick nod of her head and walked from the barn with Boog in tow, just on time as the wood of the old barn took to spark.

Work was only just begining...

[canongf-archive]

hi liv! big fan of your blog 💞 I hope things are going well with you and Eddie. I did want to pop in here for some advice, if that's alright? I have, pretty much, one primary f/o and he's been with me for a *really* long time, but we got ‘serious’ a couple years ago after I revisited his source material.

Said material wrapped up before I went back to it, which was good because (due to seeing it happen to some other comfort characters) I have a lot of anxiety about anything super bad happening to this character, like god forbid killing him off.

Recently, they announced that they'll be continuing the story he's a part of and that anxiety has come back tenfold. He isn't even confirmed to be involved, but I'm afraid even if he isn't, they'll mention something happening to him off screen.

Basically, I wondered if you - or anyone else tbh - had any advice on how to deal with that? Like I know it's not going to change anything we have but. still freaks me out quite a bit y'know? Anyway, sorry for such a lengthy and heavy question, and thanks in advance

hi hi hi!!! it is more than alright, nonnie!!! 🖤

i totally get it. i've been in this place and it's hard!!! it's really hard!!! and it's really bittersweet too, because the possibility of getting new content of your f/o should be happy and exciting but that anxiety is hard to ignore!!! i get it!!! and i'm really sorry!!!

something that brings me a bit of comfort when i'm nervous about facing something that could potentially make me upset and emotional and something that i suggest is preparing to be upset and emotional! i'll make sure that i have time and space to process it all and i'll make sure that i have things lined up to soothe me if i need soothing!!! it doesn't always prevent the upset, but it certainly makes the process of working through it a little easier.

so if you're wanting to engage with the new content, prepare for it!!! give yourself the time you need, maybe do it on a weekend or a stretch when you have a break so you don't have to immediately go to work or school after if you're upset. give yourself the space you need, if you think it'll be bad and uncomfortable to do it with other people then wait until you can do it alone and if you think it'll be bad and uncomfortable to do it alone then wait until you can do it with someone you trust and feel safe with. you can even ask someone you trust and feel safe with to check it out before you do and maybe give you a head's up on what to expect, if you think that might help!

and have things in place that you know will help your head and your heart, just in case you need the extra comfort! you don't have to go all out or spend a bunch of money or anything like that, just think about what you like and what usually makes you feel better! some things i like to do are:

clean my room beforehand (or at least clean my bedding)! sometimes when i'm in an uncomfortable headspace being in a messy or cluttered room only makes it worse, so i'll try pick up and make my bed so i at least know i have a clean, safe place to be after if i don't feel good.

have a favorite snack & drink available! doesn't have to be anything crazy or big, sometimes it's nice just to have a little something good in your stomach so you can focus on your head and heart instead of your basic needs like eating. (i know everyone has their own relationship with food so this might not work for you in the way it works for me, which is totally okay! listen to your body!)

get comfortable! there's no way i can relax and focus on taking care of myself if i'm wearing, like, jeans and a bra. so i make sure to change into comfy clothes first! i usually do pajama shorts and an oversized tee or hoodie, but you do what you like! and don't be afraid to collect a few blankets, pillows, and stuffed animals to have around you too! make your environment nice and cozy!

remember that you don't actually have to engage with this new content if you don't want to. you can ignore it, you can blacklist tags and keywords, you can unfollow and block people. you can keep things how you want them to be.

remember that it's okay to be upset by things. even if you think it seems silly or unreasonable, it's not. if it upsets you, it upsets you. there's a reason it upsets you. and you are allowed to acknowledge that and tend to your feelings.

and remember, like you said, that no matter what happens, it'll be okay. you will always have him. your relationship with him can be beautiful and happy and exactly what you want it to be for as long as you want it to be.

anon!!! thank you so much for being here and thank you so much for thinking of me and eddie!!! we appreciate you so much and we're sending you all the love in the world!!! it's gonna be okay!!! 🖤🖤🖤

[gamerdog1]

Demon Slayer Season 1 Review

For the months of December and January, I was lovingly assigned the anime series Demon Slayer (Kimetsu no Yaiba in Japan) for my club’s monthly anime exchange. While admittedly, I did slack off, and wait until the very last day of the month to finish it, I can safely say that this series has struck me in such a way that few anime have in my recent memory.

Demon Slayer follows a young boy named Tanjiro, whose sister is the lone survivor of a demon attack on his house while he was away. After it is revealed that the attack has caused her to become a demon, the siblings set out on a quest to hunt down other demons, in the hopes that one will be able to change the sister back. Over the course of the series, they meet a cast of colorful characters who serve as allies and antagonists alike, fleshing out the world and creating a greater conflict beyond Nezuko’s condition.

What struck me immediately about this series is it’s visuals. I had heard prior to starting this show that it was notable for its animation, but didn’t think much of it until recently. Now, having finished the first season, I can say with confidence that it is one of the most colorful and beautifully animated shows I have seen in a while, possibly ever. Demon Slayer works within the confines set by anime itself by making scenes where movement is limited still pop visually. Quick visual gags are turned up to extremes by having comedic expressions take up most of the screen, accompanied by short, quick spurts of movement and flashy backgrounds. It is quite refreshing seeing this style of comedy being used in such a contemporary series, especially one that takes itself so seriously. Cut-away gags are often delegated to comedies these days, so I was surprised to see them here. They really helped accentuate the comedic moments, and tease more than a few laughs out of me.

Moreover, the character designs are quite striking, and really memorable. Even if I didn’t remember their names, per se, I could still remember characters based on their looks, which isn’t very common for me. Each character seems to have a signature style, despite being part of a military organization that requires the wearing of a standardized uniform. That really made them stand out from the crowd, and made it easier to remember who they are when they’d been absent for a few episodes. 

I loved how the character’s designs didn’t cling too hard to their personality. It is a common trope found in anime and similar media where characters will have hairstyles or dress according to their abilities. A fire element character will have spiky red hair and wear red, while an ice character will wear blue and white and look regal. Demon Slayer seems to reject that trope in favor of creating memorable character designs from scratch, not leaning too hard into elemental stereotypes where it feels ridiculous. While characters like Shinobu dress in accordance to their elemental ability, it is done in a way that isn’t overbearing, instead feeling as if they chose to dress that way. As someone who is passionate about character design, I really loved seeing this.

The swordplay in this series is fantastic. If I didn’t already own a sword (or, at least, key-shaped sword) I’d go out and buy one right now, because this show makes it look so cool. Going into this series, I had often steered away from designing characters who use a singular sword, because I felt it was over-done and nothing more could be done with them. This series made me rethink that. The way that elements are incorporated into fighting is incredible to see. With each new member of the Demon Slayer Corps’ arrival, I felt myself get excited, just to see what their ability was. Shows like these, where everyone in a team or organization has their own unique fighting style or element, often re-tread common ideas of how those would work in fighting, but I was pleasantly surprised to see how much originality there was here in terms of combat uses. Water was certainly not on the top of my imagined list of deadliest elements, but now, I’ve been convinced. 

However, going beyond swordplay and visual flair, what makes Demon Slayer stand out from the dozens of shonen series that are out there is how it’s main character perceives the world. Early on, when Tanjiro faces his first demon, his teacher remarks that he is too kind, and therefore, he’ll never make it as a warrior. Tanjiro, over the course of the 26 episodes, proves him wrong, by showing that his kindness is not a weakness: its his strength. 

Every demon that Tanjiro and his sister Nezuko face has a story, often tragic, of how they became a demon. A sickly boy who just wanted a loving family, an artist whose works were never appreciated, or a victim of spousal abuse. We see their back stories during their fights, and learn that their actions may not be justified, but that they aren’t truly monsters. This rejection of the traditional idea of human monstrosity elevates the moral conflicts of Demon Slayer above it’s peers, and no doubt brings into question the morals of other demon hunting characters in the series. 

No matter who he faces, though, Tanjiro always finds a way to sympathize with his enemies. In one scene, Tanjiro tracks down a spider demon who uses spider strings to puppet around other demon slayers, causing them to kill each other. Yet, when he reaches her, she accepts her death happily, knowing that she will finally be free from her husband’s wrath. Instead of brutally killing her, Tanjiro finishes her off with an attack he never used before, one that embodies the soft downfall of rain. As he lands, and the spider demon’s head slowly leaves her shoulders, she basks in the warmth of the rain, and remarks how she feels no pain. No matter how evil of an opponent he faces, Tanjiro will always respect his enemies, because he knows its the right thing to do. He lacks the bloodthirstiness of his peers, killing demons in hopes of furthering research towards his sister’s cure. All in all, he’s a shonen protagonist who isn’t here to hurt others, respects his enemies, and shows kindness whenever he can. How revolutionary.

I’m also very happy to see so many women in important roles in a series like this one. Often, anime will exclude women from heroic positions, citing ‘historical accuracy’. Demon Slayer, however, seems to understand that that is a ridiculous argument, and puts female characters in any place where something important is happening. For that, I’m thankful. Women in Demon Slayer are never alienated for being women, never told that they can’t do something or must do something as a direct result of their biological sex. They are warriors, heroes, doctors, teachers, and strong antagonists, all without ever having to justify themselves being there. Kanae is never questioned for wanting to join the Demon Slayer Corps. Susamaru is never sexualized when she takes off the top of her kimono so she can fight better. Nezuko, despite being in a box for a good chunk of time in each episode, still kicks ass, and might even be stronger than her brother. I can’t imagine how much of an impact this show has probably had on other young women or girls who’ve seen it. I can only hope for more representation like this in the future.

Demon Slayer is a show that I will definitely continue. After the wild ride that was the first season, I’m very eager to start the second one, knowing that there’s only more lightning fast fights and cool characters to come. I’m thankful that Netflix has the next episodes, though I should be careful not to wait too long. It seems they aren’t too fond of animation these days...

[strawberryhierophant]

Gone (Short Story) - Writing Practice

Papa and Mama

Once, I watched a delivery truck flatten a dog which had wandered onto a country road. I never forgot the sound of it.

When Mama's face hit the floor, the week the big men took me away, I was reminded of that dog. The sound was the same, something shattering — her nose probably. I couldn't see. I was watching the old man. I'd learned never to take my eyes off him.

His hulking form wrestled in the dark with Mama while she stifled her own screams. There was a pop of an open palm striking flesh. Was it his or hers? I couldn't tell, but Papa roared and the two of them fell together. Then I heard that dog getting run over. Again and again and again. I saw it in my mind and I heard the crunch of its bones as Mama shouted in pain.

Then the old man fell upon me. He was ungodly quick, swinging around in the darkness with the speed of a much smaller, younger man. His upraised fist, twice the size of my own ten-year-old head, trembled menacingly before me.

"Shut your damn trap!" the old man shouted. I had not even realized I was blubbering, sobbing. I could not stop. That barbed, bulldog face of his, all teeth and spittle, growled and pushed itself towards me on a breeze of whiskey. I never heard the fist connect. I only heard the whifft of it dropping downwards upon my head.

Next thing I knew, my eyes were opening. For a moment, I thought the old man was still there because when I tried to move, the pain in my skull rung like a second wallop of his fist. I froze, fearing another blow.

But he was gone, I later discovered. It was Mama I found first, lying face down in a pool of dark liquid which would almost certainly leave a stain. That was my first thought, that I would need to scrub the hardwood for a very long time to get that stain out. I knelt at Mama's side with my hands in my lap, afraid to touch anything.

"Mama..."

The smashed dog on the highway — I reached out. I touched Mama's hair. The awful stench of that warm animal blood roasting on the asphalt. My throat closed up.

"Mama," I croaked. "are you asleep?"

Part of me did not want her to wake up, I realized. That scared me.

"He's gone," I said.

At first, the dog had fought against death. Lying on the hot road, its rib cage heaved madly with the quick panting of its struggle. Finally, with one last twitch of its limbs, its body went stiff and it was dead. Then, I had cried.Petting the mangled carcass on the highway, the tears came suddenly and easily. When I returned home, my hands covered in the dog's blood, I was crying still.

So why wasn't I crying now?

My voice became stern. "Mama!" I was growing impatient. An anger gnawed at me from somewhere and, when I shook her now, I no longer bothered to be gentle.

"Wake up," I hissed, "Come on!" and jostled my mother's broken body with tight fists. "Get up, I have to clean up your mess..."

2. Field

Back home, Papa had taught me about terror. I carried that lesson around with me for a long time. Afterwards, at the Home, I discarded it forever.

"Why'd I let you drag me here?" Thurgood muttered. Staning faithfully at his post, he kept peeking into the hall, scanning for anybody who might happen to wander by.

He was right to be nervous. This wouldn't be our usual excursion into the kitchen to scavenge for extra food. Somehow, he seemed to know it before I did.

Keeping watch faithfully at his post, Thurgood, my last remaining friend, popped a handful of the dry crackers we had plundered from the pantry into his mouth. His hands were trembling. He peeked out and scanned the hall.

"I ain't even hungry no more, man" Thurgood mumbled, swallowing his meal. "That man gonna be here any second..."

My hand slipped inside the drawer. I hesitated. Maybe it didn't have to be this way.

in the kitchen of Captain Bullard's Home for Boys, my eyes were riveted by the awful field outside. Its tall, lean grasses swayed and bent in the wind, seeming to submit meekly to it.

I thought about nothing, or tried not to. I tried to keep my mind blank as I opened the drawer. But Thurgood called to me just then in a low, tremulous voice.

"I ain't even hungry no more," he whispered, "knowing he's coming. Let's get out of here."

Just then, we heard the Captain's footsteps stomping through the halls, moving in our direction. I didn't care.

"

A breeze kicked an acrid scent in through the open window and I grimaced, but I didn't turn around. I didn't want Thurgood to see me. My hand slipped inside the open drawer.

"He catches us," Thurgood warned, "He'll mess us up!"

He didn't say the name, but we were both thinking it.

Messed up just like Louis!

It was late evening. Our daily chores had been completed, and we would take thirty minutes for supper before lights out. The kitchen was always empty at this time. Thurgood had not wanted to come, not after what had happened to Louis, but I had insisted, and Thurgood was a good friend. He would not let me risk being found alone.

The thundering footfall drew closer and closer, compelling the other boys to scramble out of their rooms, two by two, each of them still filthy from the long day's toil. I could hear the panicked swarming of their feet as they poured out and made the mad dash to the mess hall, climbing over one another in an effort to avoid the swing of the man's boot behind them.

I felt someone tug at my shirt. I jumped and turned around. It was Thurgood, of course. He had left his lookout post to retrieve me. If we did not leave now, we would be found. But he froze when he saw the large kitchen knife in my hand.

"What's that?" he asked, knowing full well what it was for, and why. The panicked stampede of the boys echoed in the next hall. I turned around again.

"You're crazy," Thurgood said. "He'll kill you."

I turned back around to face the widow. Outside, the world looked flat and even. The field looked placid, its soil apparently undisturbed, betraying nothing. I thought of Louis and wondered if I would join him soon. Part of me hoped I would.

"Mess hall!" a thick voice bellowed.

It was the marching man. His driving footsteps, like two pounding drums, beat time upon the hard floor behind the gaggle leaping boys. He was like a stamping fiddler urging us to dance on and on and on to a cruel rhythm, to a song without end.

"Don't be stupid," Thurgood said.

"You should go."

"We should both go."

"If you dont," I said, whipping back around, "I'll take this god damn knife and kill myself right now!"

When he saw my face, he let me be and backed away towards the door where he paused there a moment, his fingers gripping the frame, as though he were trying to keep from falling out of the kitchen.

"You gonna die," he said.

I could tell he did not want to leave me.

But the of the pull of the relentless boots stomping in the hall proved too strong and, as though dragged down by the undertow, he sunk out of view, into the calamity of stampeding boys outside.

When the marching man finally passed the door and found me in the kitchen, he barged inside with a face full of malice, a malice that had not ceased to terrify me since my very first day at The Captain's Home for Boys.

"What are you doing you little rat!" He roared. "The kitchen is off limits!"

Papa had taught me terror, but that was before the Home, before big man. Now, with Louis gone, I had my own malice to wield.

Malice — and a knife.

******

He was one of several men that ran the place. None of them wanted to be here anymore than we did, I could tell.

Caregivers. That's what they called themselves. Peter used to get a good laugh out of that.

"Oh they'll take care of us, all right," he'd sometimes say. Then the both of us would think of Louis. I knew that because even Peter, who rarely ceased babbling, would lapse into silence.

"Still," he said now, "it's better to be bent up like Isaiah than like Louis."

The shock of that name, uttered thoughtlessly, shamed Peter. He looked away, blinking madly as if trying to wipe the vision from his eyes.

The stutter of footsteps moved past our room as the boys were herded towards the mess hall. It might have been a funeral procession, the boys were so quiet. Every now and then, one of them cried out with pain.

"We gotta go," Peter warned me, with a glance at my bruised and swollen hands — corrections, the caregivers called them.

Peter tugged at the back of my shirt as he made to leave, but my eyes would not tear themselves from the window, or from the field beyond.

"If they come for you, it's your hide!" Peter whispered, and slipped away to join the funeral procession.

Once, I had committed the site to memory. But at the moment, the field outside perfect, green, endless, and level, offering no sign of where Louis lay.

In a flurry of heavy steps, I was torn from my bed and hauled into the mindless throng padding and trembling through the hall.

3. Love

I was three sheets to the wind the first time. Nobody'd ever looked at me the way she did. Lust, I guess. My mind made it into something more.

I remember the way the bed creaked like old floorboards, the way the air reeked of sweat and whiskey. I heard the crunch of Mama's face hit the floor. While the girl writhed under me, a formless shadow in the dark, I thought I saw the old man whip around. I felt his face crowding mine, growling, all teeth and spittle.

No!

I wrung her neck. I didn't mean to. I reached out and wrung her neck. She liked it. I held her down and made myself feel like a man. She grunted and moaned like Louis and I saw the boy strapped in his chair, heard the caregiver's booming voice. Me and the other boys were silent, scared at what we were seeing.

"Insubordination!" the voice shouted. "Stealing!"

The caregiver listed Louis' crimes. The blows crashed down upon his face and body until the boy strapped in the chair was reduced to a dribbling croaking child. Teeth were scattered across the floor. Dark blood left Louis' mouth with each ragged breath.

He hissed a final word of rebellion. The caregiver pounced.

I couldn't watch. I heard the slim legs of the wooden chair beat wildly upon the floorboards. I heard Louis' choked grunts.

"Fuck me!" the girls' hoarse voice demanded from somewhere in the dark. I felt my hand pulled back. My fingers wrapped around her throat. The floorboards creaked like the old building behind the orphanage, wind whistling through its teetering frame. An empty field behind it drinking down Louis' remains. One day, there might be nothing left, not even bone.

The girl bucked back against me. I wrung her neck. She liked it.

"Fuck me," she demanded.

That was the first time. I didn't love her. Didn't even enjoy it. And I liked that.

*******

Alternative lines:

"This place bends you outta shape," Peter said, fuming. "Bent up just like Isaiah."

Isaiah was a cripple boy.

"Ha!"

Peter's sudden cleverness pleased him, and he broke out into that ugly laugh of his that made me think of sludge bubbling up in pops and squeaks.

"Bent up just like a damn cripple!!

NOTES: - be wary of adding third-person details: Peter glancing out the door when the narrator is staring out the window. It's from the narrator's POV, how can he see what Peter is doing??

[fandomwritingbit]

For my 1k milestone...

First of all, THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! Wtf, I can't believe this has happened, but I'm certainly not complaining, I hope I can continue to make stuff that yous get along with.

Below I'm going to share a little of my interests by which I mean other blokes I mentally whore myself for, think of it like a watchmojo top nine of some of my shameful lustings. That and also me humanising this blog a little lmao.

no.1 Michael De Santa - GTA V

Like I'm not even lowkey obsessed with Michael it's and 24/7 365 full-time job at this point. I don't know if it's because he's a crook, or mid-life crisis age, or married, or violent, probably a mixture of all that, but yeah I'm addicted. I only recently got back into Gta V, I was a kid when it came out but used to sneakily play it on my mate's stepdad's xbox. We'd have to dig out the disk under empty boxes of L&B Blue lmao.

Reminiscing aside, Michael De Santa has been a fixation of mine for a long time and the lust is out of hibernation. I'd sell my soul, or whatever is left, to be his little bit on the side. If he was uh yk... real.

no.2 Rafe Adler - Uncharted 4

Oh my god, Rafe. Like they knew exactly what they were doing with his design and characterisation, he's just lush. A spoiled, rich boy with something to prove? With fucking bangs? Who FENCES?! What's not to like? I think he's got a little short man syndrome and I'm crazy for that shit lmao.

And bro, the climax fight scene where he's all sweaty and bloody is just otherworldly hot.

no.3 Capt. Boomerang/ George Harkness - (The) Suicide Squad.

Another crook, huh? He's just very nice, especially in the first(?) Suicide Squad (the one with Will Smith), bros got his biceps out and he's hairy and rough as a dog's arse. I mean Jai Courteney is just gajhdoifljkwjouhjlj. Also uh GOLD TEETH. He's so much fun too, the shafting of Slipknot just to see if the implants are real? The constant larger drinking? Gold. They should call me boomerang the way I bounce back to this guy all the time.

no.4 Johnny Cage - Mortal Kombat franchise

I'm always at a toss up between Johnny and Kano, I like both a lot but Johnny takes the cake. He's fun to play as, his lines are great. And he looks like that. The tattoo of his name on his chest, I just love men who are in love with themselves, ego for the win.

I've always been a Street Fighter lass but I'd turn coat for Johnny boy any day.

no.5 Mile Edgeworth - Ace Attorney

Ik I'm sorry, I just love the trilogy and he's so flamboyant and silly I just can't cope. I swear I'm not the kind of person who pashes on a bloke who unironically wears a cravat, but Edgeworth hits different. Also the reoccurrence of Ms. Oldbag makes me laugh too much. Ergo, Edgy-boy is making the list.

no.6 King Dice - Cuphead

The style, the pizazz, the showmanship; I LIVE. I just love him, the obvious nod to Cab Calloway is much appreciated, my nana used to listen to his old records all the time.

That wholesome bit out of the way, I'm a sucker for the era Cuphead is set in, all the fashion and music and early animation, it's still brilliant. And KD being the kind of guy who takes his coat off before he kicks the shit out of you with a designer shoe is just wow. Oh and moustaches are just fucking great, aren't they?

no.7 Tanner Grayson - Scrutinized

I love Tanner and his silly little jumpscare where he pops up in front of the camera. His character is the right mix of goofy and seriously menacing, just the lengths he goes to in the game are scary. Fuck syringes in general are scary. When he peeps around the corner before hiding in the cupboard- the first time that happened to me I was bricking it BIG time. But then he jumped on top of me/Luna and all was forgiven.

no.8 Frankie Donovan - Empire of Sin

Okay this might be an obscure one, ever played Empire of Sin? I found it on game pass a while back and was hooked, I tell you. 1920s prohibition gang life in Chicago, the history nerd in me vibrates with excitement. The characters are just smashing (literally sometimes), not just the bosses but the mobsters too. Frankie is by far the funniest boss to play as, he takes the piss out of everyone, swears like a sailor the whole time, he's just a ten out of ten experience. And the fact that he's always got scuffed knuckles and a bloody nose, just gets me going ngl. I wish I could be 'ina chara beag aige'.

no.9 Sammy Lawrence - Bendy and the Ink Machine

I sense an early 20th century theme here. Look, Ik nothing abut the game lore, I never played it, only watched Jacksepticeye and the like play the first game when it came out. But I do know a pathetic, screw-loose maniac when I see one, and I do here. The scene where he nabs the player and they wake to him monologuing about Bendy like he's some sort of god is brilliant and highkey turns me on.

All these are "gents" I've thought about writing for, but idk if it'd be any good lmao.

[that-dinopunk-guy]

The Capris Herder

Hey look it's another little dinopunk story I wrote like a decade ago, this one set in the modern day. Before you ask me where the dinosaurs are, it's the livestock. They're pachycephalosaurs.

Murgha Durandeet was up before dawn, as usual. She got ready for the day by the light of a single candle, shivering in the cold of the early morning. Though at this hour the sun was only a faint glow on the western horizon, outside the thick walls of her family’s mud-brick house she could hear the chirping of birds layered over the rasping grunts of the livestock in their pen.

She wore a formless knee-length brown dress of spun cotton, over which she pulled on a short green and brown robe tied off at the waist with a thick sash. She wore no shoes; not only because the soles of her feet were as thick and tough as old boot leather anyway, but also because she hadn’t owned a pair of shoes since she was three years old. On her head she placed a round flat-topped cap, a traditional Tartos head covering. Finally, she hefted the bandolier off its hook on the wall and draped it over her shoulder to hang across her body. It was heavy, loaded as it was with rifle ammunition in individually pocketed ten-round stripper clips, but she liked feeling its weight on her. It made her feel powerful in a way, almost invincible. Then she picked up her rifle from where it sat leaning against the wall in a corner and went to wake her brother Ghedi.

Murgha was seventeen, tall and rangy, with long limbs, dark olive skin, and a narrow face with wide, alert eyes that brought to mind some bird of prey. With her father and older brothers off looking for work in Memhesh, it fell to her and Ghedi to tend to their flock of capris. Ghedi hated it, constantly trying to find ways out and spending much of the time whining and making a show of being bored, but Murgha enjoyed it enough. It was certainly preferable to working in the garden with her mother and sisters, and it gave her time to daydream.

She stepped out into the soft gray-blue of dawn, pausing to look behind her to make sure Ghedi was following. He trudged sullenly along behind her, shoulders slumped, head lolling, and eyes half closed. She stopped to wait for him to catch up, then opened the gate on their rickety corral. The capris, well accustomed to the routine, trotted obediently out and began to make for the grazing fields. Finally Ghedi began to show some signs of life, listlessly slapping at the animals’ hindquarters with the long, stiff leather whip they used as a goad. The goad was about the only part of capris grazing he seemed to enjoy, often swinging and twirling it about as if it were some sort of sword. Murgha still had a welt on her neck from when he’d gotten careless and thwapped her with it several days ago.

It was the start of the rainy season, and the rolling uplands that Euffex’s Tartos population called home had exchanged their semi-arid browns for a lush, idyllic green. The picturesque landscape undulated softly in the low morning sunlight before rising up into the distant Nafxua Hills. Murgha often liked to look at those far-off hills and fantasize about climbing them someday, but she and her siblings were forbidden.

Murgha’s legs were wet up to the knees from splashing dew as she walked through the wet grass. As Ghedi stopped wishing he could go back to bed and accepted his fate he became progressively more lively, until she could hear him singing mangled Garacani pop songs to himself. As Murgha kept her eyes open for panzercrocs, groundbirds, or, even worse, bandits, several big-crested, short-billed dactyls dropped out of the sky to stalk ahead of the grazing flock, snapping up anything disturbed by their approach.

The sound of multiple approaching vehicles reached Murgha’s ears, and she turned to watch the raised dirt road that ran towards the northeast about a hundred meters away. A cloud of tan-colored dust was rapidly approaching, and soon Murgha could see a line of what looked like dark green military vehicles like big armored jeeps heading towards the distant hills. She could see the people inside eyeing her with suspicion and a few even pointed guns her way, but when she made no move to unshoulder her rifle they didn’t fire. Soon the convoy was past, receding into the distance.

“Who are they?” Ghedi asked her, watching after them with disinterested curiosity.

“Mercenaries,” Murgha said. “Going to fight the Diyaleen.”

By now Murgha knew all the armed groups that passed through here based on their equipment and insignia: the Euffex Army with their lightly armored vehicles emblazoned with twin red crescents, the Garacani Army with its heavier transports with the yellow sunbursts within a crimson circle, and the Diyaleen Tartos militia with their jerry-rigged technicals marked with an inverted green triangle. The fourth commonly seen faction was the mercenaries, who either had their own symbols or, like this group, carried none at all. They were becoming more and more common, after Garacania had pulled out of Euffex and left them to deal with the Diyaleen on their own, forcing them to bolster their own military with foreign contractors.

Murgha had no love for the Diyaleen militants. She knew almost nothing of their history in Euffex, of their origin in the sprawling refugee camps that had sprung up near the border with Tartoskin following the spectacular collapse of that country’s tyrannical government over a decade ago. She also didn’t particularly care that they were Tartos, like her. All she knew and cared about were the robberies, extortions, and threats, the villages burned to the ground for refusing to supply them with fighters, and the stories of farming families like hers being beaten and terrorized, their daughters carried off to their hidden strongholds in the Nafxua Hills to serve as “battle wives.” Threats to the flock weren’t the only reason Murgha carried her rifle.

And it wasn’t just the Diyaleen who made their lives difficult now. More than once her family’s farm had been visited by government soldiers, demanding to know whether they were hiding some Diyaleen fighters they were after. More than once she had been threatened with summary execution by paranoid soldiers simply for being Tartos and having a gun in her room. On the first occasion she had foolishly tried to stand up for herself, but that only got her a rifle butt in the stomach. Now she simply kept her head down and tried not to draw attention to herself.

Though the Tartos of Magodda Province had lived there for centuries, long before Euffex and Tartoskin were separate countries, they now felt themselves treated as suspects, with every Nfexua in the area viewing them as potential Diyaleen. Raised on her parents’ and older siblings’ recollections of more peaceful times that she wasn’t old enough to remember, Murgha found it all crushingly unfair.

With a thumping roar two attack helicopters swooped low over the road to overtake the convoy and fly on ahead. Ghedi let out an awed “whoa,” and Murgha fought the urge to scold him. He was only eight, and not yet as cynical as she was. He still believed in good guys.

Murgha knew it was dangerous to go out every day like she did, but she’d adopted a fatalistic attitude toward the whole situation. She had long ago accepted the fact that it was only a matter of time until she too was carried off to become a battle wife to some Diyaleen, or was picked off by a passing armed convoy simply because she happened to be a Tartos with a gun.

The sun was higher in the sky when they stopped for breakfast. As the capris grazed around them, Murgha and Ghedi leaned against a rock to eat their meal of flatbread and dried meat. They had crossed the road, and it was now little more than a dark strip near the horizon behind them. As she chewed Murgha cast glances toward the distant hills, wondering if the mercenary convoy had reached them yet. She wondered if any of them would die there. She supposed she didn’t particularly care either way. Whether they were driven back or scored a decisive blow against the Diyaleen today, it wouldn’t change things for Murgha and her family. That was the way things had been for as long as she could remember, and it was how she expected them to remain.