#Is this... is this what inspiration and motivation feels like

[sunny-halo-777]

Dear Emily: you're welcome! ✨🙌

For @elepap-169 : i'm truly grateful to meet an ENFJ 2w3 like me ✨🙏 no worries, judging others by expressing themselves is out of my priorities, you are free to be who you are, to say what you want, and follow your heart, this is like the best medicine for our souls 💛✨ i'm also Christian and i feel very grateful with God for this beautiful moment and for having my new friends by my side 💛

Summer is a great name, i sincerely adore it! since i am an artist, I've created a new and original character. and guess what? 👀 I named her Summer ✨ your idea was inspiring to me! 🙌 thank you so much for your message, your writing style is so unique and motivational, it makes me want to write just like you! ✨🙌

- Sunny, ENFJ 2w3, Leo

Rb and tag your mutuals. No reason, just to let them know you appreciate them.

Moots <3

@imasillygooose @mat-of-superwholock @furious-poetry-review @why-am-i-a-moth @breadbut3d @doctahpants @raspberrydee @disasterhals @priincessboy @spacecurlsandbowties @reyah-song @drop-of-infinity @chilly-shark @tangerinejuice @lilgayboy475 @codex-arcene @bananaterracotta-pie @icarianstars @alltoowellsscarf @jodie-whittakers-suspenders @blogurlnotfound

Holy shit there's a lot of you <3 love you guys. Not to get sappy on main but y'all make this hellsite (affectionate) a really great place to be, and I've found a great sense of community with you all. Much love <3 -Cas

[astrocafecoffee]

Placements I like the most ~

Venus in Capricorn: Venus in Capricorn is known for taking life seriously, but they also have a fantastic ability to laugh at life's minor failures, particularly their own. If something goes wrong, their reaction is often more, “Well, that was expected,” followed by a chuckle. It’s like they’ve already calculated the odds of success and know that it’s okay to laugh off the imperfections.

Libra moon : When arguments or tension happen, a Libra Moon might not react immediately. They prefer to process their emotions and figure out what everyone else thinks first. By the time they express their thoughts, the conflict might already be over, and they’ll come in with, “Okay, so here’s my analysis of everything… and I think we should compromise.” Their late-but-thoughtful take is often both hilarious and surprisingly insightful.

Virgo sun:Virgo Suns can be surprisingly adventurous with food, even though they come off as practical and "healthy" eaters. They love trying out new food trends.they love recommending obscure restaurants or dishes no one else has heard of. You might not expect a Virgo Sun to be a connoisseur of anything, but food? They know their stuff.

Mercury in 10th house/mercury in Capricorn: They often have a knack for inspiring others, usually in a low-key, almost accidental way. It could be something as simple as giving you the perfect pep talk when you're stressed at work. They’ll calmly explain, “It’s all about managing expectations and breaking down the project into bite-sized pieces.” And suddenly, you feel like you can conquer the world. They don’t try to be a motivational speaker, but their logical, practical advice often has this surprising, uplifting quality. It’s kind of funny how they can turn a simple conversation into a full-on career inspiration session without even realizing they’re doing it.

Uranus in 12th house: They can heal in ways that feel totally unexpected and even a bit unusual. Whether it’s through sudden insights or unconventional methods, Uranus in the 12th house people have the power to help others break free from old patterns or traumas. They may not even realize they’re doing this at first, but they have an innate ability to help others shift their perspective in profound ways,sometimes without ever saying a word. They might just show up with an idea or suggestion that completely changes someone’s outlook on life.

Cancer moon : Cancer Moons are incredibly intuitive about people’s emotional states, but they tend to pick up on subtle, less obvious cues. They might be able to sense if someone’s having a bad day just by the tone of their voice or the way they hold themselves. However, the funny part is that they might not always verbalize their empathy. They might just quietly offer a cup of tea, a hug, or a homemade treat as their way of saying, "I get it." It’s their way of giving comfort without making a big deal out of it.

Aquarius rising/Sun : While Aquarius risings are known to be social, they do it on their own terms. You might catch them hanging out in a crowd of people but also deeply absorbed in a conversation with just one person about an entirely random topic . They can be surprisingly selective about who they connect with, preferring people who stimulate their intellect or share their unconventional interests. They might be socially active but with their own peculiar style, sometimes standing apart from the crowd but still very much part of the scene.

[roomwithanopenfire]

Stats Sunday

Happy Not-January! Thanks for the tag @blackberrysummerblog

I posted two fics recently! They're Stranger Things fics so not really of interest to most of you, but I had fun writing them so I'm happy they're out in the world.

I stilll don't have any words to share. I'm either too early or too late in in all my projects for sharing, but because we've finished a whole month, and becuase I've been doing such a good job tracking all my writing words in January, I have stats to share with you!

Stats and a couple graphs under the cut

Total words written for January: 13,945

Days I met my writing goal (200 words): 23

Days I didn't write or edit anything: 4

Day I wrote the most: Jan 21th with 1717 words. (This was the day that none of the internet was working on campus so i opened a word doc and finally wrote a draft of the last chapter of The Way We Are. I still have a lot of work to do on this draft, but it's getting closer!)

Number of Fics worked on: 6, plus one scrapped project

Daily Average: 440 words (but it varies wildly by the day, see graph below)

(some of the things that look like 0 words are actually 1 word, which is my placeholder if all i did was edit and didn't gain any words)

And here's a pie chart to show my WC distribution across projects

While my stranger things winter exchange fic (magnetic magical everything) takes up the most space on this graph, if you were to look at a pie chart of my mind this is what it would look like:

(ignore the very specifc percentages, google sheets hates me. this fic is so hard to write and the words are not coming easy but they are fucking coming and you guys aren't ready for when i finally finish this stupid (/pos) fic)

That's all I have to share today, thank you for listening to me and my graphs. I am very motivated by my data collection, so this is very inspiring to me. I'm sorry about the banner. I hope I'll have actual words to share next week!

Tags and Hellos:

@alexalexinii @aristocratic-otter @argumentativeantitheticalg @artsyunderstudy @arthurkko

@beastmonstertitan @best--dress @bookishbroadwayandblind @bookish-bogwitch @the-beard-of-edward-teach

@brilla-brilla-estrellita @cccloudsss @ciescen @confused-bi-queer @cutestkilla

@drowninginships @facewithoutheart @emeryhall @fiend-for-culture @hertragedyconnoisseur

@horsesarenotdeer @hushed-chorus @iamamythologicalcreature @ileadacharmedlife @larkral

@lovelettersto-mars @meanjeansjeans @m1ndwinder @monbons @nausikaaa

@noblecorgi @prettygoododds @raenestee @rimeswithpurple @run-for-chamo-miles

@rbkzz @shrekgogurt @skee3000 @supercutedinosaurs @sweetronancer

@talentpiper11 @terra-fae @thewholelemon @valeffelees @you-remind-me-of-the-babe + anyone else who wants too!

I've thrown a couple new people onto my tags list, feel free to share something you're working on if you want! (It does not have to be graphs lolll) (Also if you're on the tag list and don't want to be, just let me know adfsklj)

[somerandomcockroach]

hii, im sorry if this is really random and/or awkward, but i just wanted to let you know that i really love your art and animations!! theyre a really big inspiration for me and my motivation to keep creating art, and every time i watch any of your animations no matter how long or short i immediately get so many ideas and the creativity just flows like a massive river from the sheer beauty of your art style and the awesome music choices you make for them- i dont always act on my ideas, but your art gives me the hope to try :] youre an amazing artist and youre slowly giving me the push to try and make animations/animatics of my own <3

idk if youll ever see this, but if you do, i hope youre having an amazing day/night, and i hope you know im very proud of you!! even if its weird to hear it from a stranger on the internet lolz

Lol imagine to tell a stranger that you like their creation, gotta be weird /j You have no idea how happy I am when someone says that they are inspired to make animatics or animations because, well let's say it's not the most quick thing to do and it doesn't get, let's say, good reaction ahah, you are not able to put enough plot or story that you might have in your head but damn boy you are able to put emotions in it and let others see and feel it, so I swear to god, just enjoy it, make it the way that you can come back to it, look at it and say "I love what I did" *looks at the most messy and unrecognizable animation ever*. Make the most deranged thing ever but make it the way you will like it and will want to make even better

[minhosglasses]

I've got you - B.C

plot: after an argument with your mother ends in the worst situation for you, you now need to recover in rehabilitation. your new personal trainer chan doesn't only become your motivation to be able to walk again, but also a friend or maybe even lover for life.

pairing: bangchan x gn reader

genre: personal trainer x client, angst, fluff, comfort

warnings: car crash, injury scars, psychological abusive parents

word count: 4.9k

a/n: i got inspired by an old lee know imagine I read years ago on wattpad, if you're that person then let me know bc the inspo is obv to you♡

“Yeah mom I'm in my car right now” the car door flies open as you try to keep everything in your hands without dropping any of it. 

When finally seated in the car you throw your bag in the passenger seat and start driving before buckling up, there was no time for that. You were already late and your mother's faint but also loud voice on the other side of the phone was not helping this stress. Every time you hear your mother on the other line repeating that you should've left earlier and respect your family more, you could only feel the wish of not reaching the destination grow more and more. 

“Mom, I understand I will be there soon. I'm leaving my parking lot as we speak” you could barely hear what her answer was before you hear more chatter in the background get louder and louder. You knew you'd be the talk of it all once you got there. They'd keep on asking questions about how you don't have a better job yet, no partner that could help you, no partner that YOU can benefit from. For them it's just a good job to get money or a good partner that brings in even more money.

At this point you weren't even listening to your mother anymore. The closer you get to the gathering the more the anxiety grows inside of you. Why today of all days? They could've picked any other day but right now you're in the middle of finding a new job. If that information somehow comes out you'd never see the light of day. 

You keep on driving and at this point your mother is so lost in her own rumbling that she doesn’t realise you stopped listening way past 10 minutes ago. You wanted to hit that mute button so badly or just end the call but when the phone is laying on the passenger seat and you’re on the highway it was impossible to take your eyes off the road. 

“Are you even hearing me right now?!” you hear coming from your phone. 

“Yes mom I’m hearing you perfectly” you finally pull up by a red light and take this chance to take your phone and end the call. You look around and your surroundings seems to be fine and you reach over for the phone. Your mother is still screaming and you suddenly force yourself to interrupt her. “Well mom I’m gonna go now, you know I’m arriving in an hour”

You see the light go green and you panic since you still have your phone in your hand right now. You say goodbye loudly over the phone as your mother still has stuff to say, you just wish she could keep it until you get there or she hopefully forgets until then. “Mom I have to dri-” 

CRASH

You don’t even get to finish your sentence before you feel a force from behind of your car push you forward. Your phone is quickly nowhere out of sight and everything happens in a millisecond. That seatbelt that you so in panic did not put on suddenly felt like it was needed as the force sent you out of the window. Your ears are ringing and your vision blurry as you can’t quite understand what happened. All that you can feel is your adrenaline rushing through you, but it was also the only thing you could feel at all. 

A week later 

Your dry eyes open and a white light hits you in the face immediately making you sigh in frustration. The same white light that has been torturing your eyes for the past week. Your mind still can’t comprehend what has happened and neither can your body. Your right leg is covered in a cast and multiple bruises and so far you can not feel yourself being able to move it. You felt like you knew your fate from here. You were praying to yourself or whoever you felt might hear it that this was not the way it was supposed to go for you. That you’d walk again and that something out there would save you from this grave you felt like you were digging. 

Your phone was laying quiet on the bedside table. The screen was cracked but at least it was still working. But seeing the screen was even worse. Because you could see that your family had not sent a single message about it. The only messages were from that day and how they couldn’t believe you stood them up, how you’re so ungrateful and how you should be ashamed that you didn’t show up. It didn’t matter how may tries it took to tell her that your leg was beat up to the point where you’d probably have to be in crutches forever, she probably felt even more ashamed to have a child who couldn’t even walk properly anymore. Your shaky fingers reached for the camera icon, but you kept stopping in your tracks. Did you really wanna see it? You weren’t feeling anything but something might be there. 

You let your thumb press the icon and the view made you gasp. Across your cheek there was a huge white bandage with small bits of blood in it, possibly from the scar it was hiding underneath. The heaviness in your chest grew even more and the tears in your eyes were burning. You couldn’t cry, not here. Because the tears were not for you, they were for them, because of them. The way you knew they’d see you even worse now, and how they would rather yell at you and call you ungrateful than pay you one visit at the hospital where you’ve been for a week.

“Excuse me Y/N?” your tears were interrupted by a sudden voice, the voice belonging to your nurse. You quickly dried your tears with the back of your hand to meet her gaze, making her give you a reassuring smile. “I know this is difficult for you… Do you need me to leave?” you quickly shook her head, she probably had a reason for entering and you didn’t wanna stop her from doing her job. You feel yourself zone out, you could barely feel anything right now. You just wanted to go back to bed and never wake up again. “I also came to tell you that your doctor has seen some improvement. I understand that it’s difficult for you right now, but with the right training and rehab it’s looking good for you to be able to stand on your own again” it didn’t even make you smile. It was only possible if you pushed through, and right now you didn’t even wanna push yourself to let your feet hit the cold floor. 

There was a sudden knock on the door, making you quickly lay your eyes on a younger man. He was in a grey hoodie and his hair was being covered by a black cap that also covered half of his face. You looked at him worryingly, was this someone you knew? Someone who came to visit you that wasn’t your family? 

“Oh Chan! Come in” the nurse said by your side, making you even more confused. You met her eyes with a gaze that said “help”. “Oh Y/N! This is Chan, he works in the rehabilitation center in the other building across the street. He’s the best of the best and we thought you could need motivation by maybe seeing him for a while. We really believe that you can be on your feet again soon” your mind was having a million questions at the same time. You realised he was still standing in front of your bed and all you could do was give him a wave. 

“I’m sorry to just burst in, I understand you must have a lot to process right now. I just wanted to come and say hi and possibly talk with you about your pain to see what we could work with” his voice was calm but the undertone also had the sadness, like he was sad that you were in this situation to begin with. 

The room went cold as the nurse left you and Chan to talk. You didn’t know where to start. You were barely talking to the nurses at this point. You could see that he had dealt with this before. He did not seem stressed, nervous or awkward. He just sat there until you showed any sign that you were ready. Like he could sit there for days. 

“Uhm…” you slowly started just to get a word out. Your voice felt weird and your throat was dry. “Where do we begin?” your voice got shakier as you spoke, it was difficult to even accept that a personal trainer was sitting in your room. It would have been nicer to see one in a situation that wasn’t in the hospital because of an injury. 

“Why don’t you just start by telling me where it hurts, and how would you rate that one to ten? Your nurses have already gone through some with me, but I wanna hear it from you” 

You nodded, suddenly you went back to quiet again. It has all gone too fast, why were you here? Was it because you wished that you wouldn’t make it there? Was this your own fault? You let out a shaky breath as you realised you had to move on, and started pointing to where it hurt. Every time you point to somewhere you see him taking notes in his book. 

“It’s numb” you say with tears in your eyes. He stops writing immediately and closes his book to look at you. “I can’t barely feel it” you let the tears roll down your cheeks, feeling the scary situation take over you and swallow you whole. 

“Hey, it’s okay. It’s going to be scary I know” Chan started as he laid a hand on your trembling hand. It was like he could feel your fear through it. It was cold and shaking, he had seen many clients be worried for themselves but this really made his heart ache. You both seem to be close in age, he couldn’t imagine what he himself would feel like if he was in your position. “You got this, you’re so strong” his words were calming you down as you could finally breathe normally and see clearly again. 

Your cries went quiet as Chan’s questions went on. It was difficult to describe as you never felt like you could grasp the situation itself. Every time you thought back on the situation you felt that adrenaline rush again. How you just fell out of the car and how you could’ve saved yourself if you just had focused. But nothing could take you back now, it was only a matter of time before you had to look forward and make yourself you again. 

______________

Today was your first meeting with Chan. You had finally left the hospital bed and was currently using crutches or a wheelchair as support. Waiting outside of the rehabilitation gym you looked at yourself in the mirror outside. The scar had healed a bit more with small parts of scab left, but you could see on the more healed parts that this would never go unnoticable. There would be scars from your stitches across your cheek and you knew that no one would be able to see the rest of your face first. You sighed at the sight of yourself, your family would never wanna look at you now, barely you wanted to either. Who cares if the leg healed or not, it’s not the first thing they see. 

“Y/N?” you turned your head to your right, seeing Chan right there. You quickly studied him up and down, realising he was different from when you first saw him. He was now wearing a black oversized t-shirt and no cap, making him show his pretty brown hair which was laid on the side. 

He was very good looking there was no denying that. Which made you lay your hand on your own cheek. You knew it wasn’t weird to him, he often helped people that come out of situations like yours. But the self cautious feelings took over you in the moment, and while leaning on your crutch you tried to make the hood of your sweater cover your cheek. 

You couldn’t tell if he saw it or not, but that couldn’t matter for long enough either because the important part was to make yourself walk again. There weren’t many people in the gym, just a few people older than you with their own trainors. 

Chan walked you over to a more quiet area where it was mostly a floor covered in black foam carpet. 

“Let’s just start easy and foam roll the muscle, then we’ll try to keep your core strength since you can lose it if you have to walk less right now. Does that sound okay?” you could only nod. This whole situation made you nervous, you knew that the slightest fail could push your motivation even further back than it already is. 

Chan takes your hand carefully as he helps you sit down on the floor. He gently places the foam roller under your leg making you wince at the small pain the lift gave you. You start pushing your leg back and forth on the foam roller feeling fine the first few minutes. You felt some weight lift from your shoulders as you did a few more minutes. Maybe you were worried for nothing? 

The time goes by pretty slowly but you feel better than you thought you would. Maybe this could actually be something. Or that was until the dreaded question left Chan’s lips,

“Do you wanna try walking with support from these bars?” 

He was standing by two pairs of metal bars, and just seeing them made you feel uneasy. But was it worth giving up now? It wouldn’t hurt to try right? In return you nodded at him, making him run back to you to help you up. You had an arm over his shoulder and he tried lifting you from the floor a bit so that you wouldn’t have to limp over there. 

Chan carefully sets you down between the bars, letting you get a good grip on them before he finally lets go of your body. You feel your whole weight land evenly on both of your legs but as soon as it starts feeling great you feel your body fall to the side. 

Your leg can’t support it enough. 

Before your body can hit the floor you feel a pair of arms back around you. Chan was quick to catch you and through his embrace of you he could feel your panicked breath. 

“Hey… hey it’s okay just breathe. I’ve got you. I’m not letting you fall I promise” he said, patting your head as well. “I know that was scary, I should’ve held onto you a bit more over the floor. I didn’t mean to just let go I’m sorry” 

Tears pricked in your eyes once again. This felt hopeless once again. How was this ever going to be fixed? How can someone fix a broken part like this? Babies could walk better than you. 

“This is so useless…” you muttered. It hurt Chan’s heart that the first time since the hospital where you speak to him is you talking down on yourself. He kept patting your head and tried to not make himself lose his cool as he heard your small sobs in his arms. 

“Don’t say that we have many sessions ahead of us to improve. This is only the first time” he carried you down onto the carpet again, making sure your leg wasn’t touching the floor at all. Your cries had gone quiet but your face was really red. 

As Chan set you down he kept seeing you pull that hood in front of your face. He sat down in front of you trying to make you meet his eyes, but once you did you faced the other way. He knew exactly why, but it was not something he was going to pressure you about. He knew injuries in parts such as the face took a toll on people, and it seemed even tougher on you. 

“Please don’t look at me…” you put your head in your hands. “This scar is huge, it’s disgusting. It makes me look so…” 

“Sad?” Chan finished your sentence with. You tried looking back up without showing most of your face, and of course your eyes met his. They never left you. “You know what I think?” he started, making you shake your head. “I think it makes you look strong. It tells people that something happened to you, yet you’re still here standing. And to me that is an extremely admiring person to me” he continued with a small smile, only making you smile bigger in return. His heart fluttered at that smile, he knew he wanted to make this wonderful perso achieve their goals even more now. They were gonna reach the top and he would be by their side. 

_____________

Some weeks turned into a month of seeing Chan. You couldn’t help but feel safe around him as he tried to motivate you to do even better every day. You knew it was his job, but something about just letting you lead it as well made you trust him even more. There was no family that was expecting you to do things their way, or your mother telling you to just get yourself together. He was there, but you were taking your time. And for the first time that was okay. 

“Okay so now you walk over to me” he said gesturing with his hands to slowly start walking. This was always the part of the session that you dreaded. Many falls had happened but no bruises added as Chan always caught you in time.

You keep your arms steady on the bars and try to lightly let go with each step. You felt the knee pushing against your will, but the muscles had to be trained again. The closer you got to Chan the more your smile started growing. With every session you felt like you were getting somewhere and this was the closest you’d ever gotten to walk without bars. With just a few meters left until you could take Chan’s hands for support you feel the strength in your leg giving out, making you fall forward this time. Your heart starts pounding faster the moment you feel your leg give out but you never meet the floor. 

Chan was almost laying underneath you as he had leaned down to prevent you from falling. He could see that the position got awkward for you so he slowly starts sitting down while helping you down onto the floor. But on the way down your leg still hasn’t gotten its full strength back and you end up falling forward onto Chan. Now having him lay under you. 

At first your face becomes red, this was not supposed to happen. But as your eyes meet his deep brown ones, something tells both of you that this okay. Making you both start laughing together. 

“I’m so sorry, are you okay? My leg totally gave out” you were still laughing with a slight hint of worry in your voice as you literally had just dropped your full weight onto him. 

“Nono I’m totally fine, I’m happy I caught you in time-” 

“What exactly is going on?” your laughs were interrupted by a very familiar voice belonging to a woman. A special woman being your mother herself. Looking her into the eyes you quickly scooch yourself off of Chan and he keeps his hands close to you incase something starts hurting. He’s just about to support your leg until your mother yells, “Do not touch my child!” Chan doesn’t seem to listen, since he in a way is doing his job during your session. 

“Mom? Why are you here?” you ask her, slightly embarrassed that she is scolding Chan right now for doing his job. “I thought you didn’t care about my rehabilitation” you didn’t see it as Chan stood behind you by now but his face fell and he realised he had never seen you with family or even heard you talk about them. 

“Why wouldn’t I care? I'm your mother!” she says harshly, studying you up and down. You were only in a pair of sweats and a hoodie since baggy clothes made it easier for you to move your leg, especially with a cast on. “But I see you’re doing other things than working on your walking or how to cover up that ugly scar” the scar was healed by now, but the stitches had now left the big scar more visible. Which with Chan you hadn’t really thought about anymore, you no longer felt the need to cover your face around him. 

Chan didn’t know what to say. He was watching you taking harsh comments from your own mother and he didn’t know when it was time for him to say something. Technically the situation you were in could be seen as wrong as you are his client. But at the same time he promised he’d never let you fall and he was holding onto that promise. 

He could see how your hands were shaking against the sides of your body. He slowly walked up behind you while your mother was talking to hold your hand. Your hand was shaking in his, but that didn’t matter. The comfort was exactly what you needed since your mother could not hold back to scold you even in your rehab hours. 

“Have you tried makeup? How is that scar gonna be covered and gone when I bring you home again? They will wonder how you can’t take care of yourself and I will be blamed for that” your mother went on, you really wondered how she had the energy to do this. 

“I’m sorry Ms L/N but I think it’s time you stop” you hear Chan say behind you making your breath hitch. 

“Excuse me how dare-” 

“You’re in my gym during my work hours when I’m here trying to help your child how to walk normally again. And if you had been here or checked their medical records that I fill in after every session you’d see that they are doing much better than when they were admitted to me.” you squeezed his hand tightly, not being able to speak up in front of your mother right now you felt your heart beating faster. And you knew it wasn’t because of the stress of your mother right now. “So either you leave right now, or I’m gonna have to call security because I have to keep helping them now” 

“And the scar?” she asks. 

“Ms L/N I’m not a doctor, I’m just a personal trainer. And even if I were, I probably wouldn’t be able to do more than they already have. You should be happy your oen kid is still standing here, that scar is showing how she fought for her life. They are the strongest person I’ve ever met as a trainer here and you should be proud of them because I sure am” he said confidently. “Now please leave” and as you watch your mother turn her back towards the both of you you feel Chan’s thumb caress the upper part of your hand. 

You didn’t know what to do at that moment. For the first time in forever someone had been on your side. Chan was just about to open his mouth to speak but before he could you turned around and hugged him. He was caught off guard by the action but as soon as he registered what’s happening his hands found their way to your hips. 

You stood there together for what felt like a solid minute. It felt special to finally have someone see you. And you didn’t care if that person wasn’t in your family, he was your motivation and you never wanted to let go of him. When you decide to let go all you can do is smile at him, which he happily returns to you. Your smile was his happiness, because it meant that even in your darkest days right now there was a smile underneath it somewhere. 

A few minutes later you’re sitting on the floor together, your session ended about 15 minutes ago. You were telling him about your injury that day, how no one came to the hospital and how he is the only one who you’ve been with since then. He sat there with your hands in his lap and every time you shed a tear he made sure to catch them for you. Sometimes thinking back on it you start panic crying and having hiccups, and every time you have them Chan makes sure to see you even more. Telling you it’s okay, to start again whenever you want, and if you want to stop talking then he doesn’t need to know more of it. 

“Hey look at me” Chan’s hand lay carefully on your cheek drying away your tears. “You’re amazing, you know that right?” you start laughing at his comment which only makes him giggle as well. “I’m serious! I’ve seen you go through it this whole month and you’re so strong for even doing this in the first place. Back at the hospital I saw how scared you were, and now I know you were lonely as well. But I am here. I’m sitting here with you now and you’ve grown into a much stronger version of yourself. And even if you fall, then I’ve got you. I’m there to catch you every time” 

_______________________

You open the doors from the rehabilitation building and step outside, taking in the good sunny weather together with the warm sunny breeze. The weather was good but today had also been your last session together with Chan. You couldn’t help but feel sad about it. There were days that discouraged you, yes, but he was always there to pick you up. And now you could walk again, which you back then never thought would be possible. 

“So, you’re leaving already?” you heard Chan ask behind you. 

Turning around you see him in that same grey hoodie he had during your first meeting at the hospital. Something about you two together felt so special to you, and you for sure wouldn’t forget it. You were already sad to part ways with him so being remembered about your days together made you a bit sentimental. 

“I guess, we’re not working together anymore. Who are you supposed to have fun with now?” you said, making him smile brightly.

“No one of course” he was laughing a lot with his big smile which just made your heart flutter even more. He really was the best at making you feel like a better version of yourself. “Hey, by the way” he started nervously fiddling with the hem of his hoodie. You gave him a small nod to show that you’re listening and after a quiet minute he went on. “Now that we’re not working together, do you think I could take you out?” 

You couldn’t believe your ears. Take you out? You looked at him in shock not realising he just asked what he asked. 

“Me…? Yeah absolutely” the relief you felt in your body hit you, you actually get to see him a bit more. 

“Maybe we could start now? There’s a beach down the road here. Just to hang out?”  you eagerly nodded and without a thought you were both heading for the beach. 

The seagulls were making loud noises and the sun was high in the sky. It was a bit windy which caused the salty water to sometimes hit your face. But this feeling was incredible. After months of rehab you had never felt so free and alive in yourself again. And with Chan by your side you felt like you were in paradise. 

With your shoes in one hand and Chan’s hand in the other you both walked along the shore with your feet half deep in the water. Feeling the sun hit your face felt refreshing. You never thought you’d end up walking along the shore with Chan, or walking here at all. But you pushed through and for once you felt proud of yourself for pushing through. 

Suddenly Chan stopped in his tracks and looked out towards the ocean. He starts walking deeper into the water, gesturing with his hands that you should follow him. With both of you in the water you both start realising it wasn’t the best choice since the winds are getting stronger, and before you both knew it you both fall backwards into the water. But of course someone caught you in time. Looking over at Chan he made sure to have you fall onto him first. In that moment it felt like all of these months leading up to this was made for the both you, and before you know it Chan closed the distance between the both of you. 

You felt fireworks going off inside of your stomach and trying to stay calm to not ruin it. Putting your body weight onto him he ends up with his whole back in the water and wet sand. But to him nothing mattered at all in this moment but you and him together. After pulling away he made sure to still hold you close, one hand on your cheek and the other keeping you with him. 

“I told you I’ve got you, I’ll catch you everytime” 

[iratempestatis]

Saw you asking for Xiao requests and thought I could send some!

This might be a little odd one, but... A self-aware Xiao finding out that he has fans like us who love him kinda romantically? It could be fun!

Xiao Waxes Poetic About Fandom

Xiao x gn!reader, 1.5k words. Anon I'm so sorry but I had actually no idea how to write this adgvhfcdcb. I tried my best but I kept giggling about lost 50/50s and and my 80 cr Xiao never critting without Motivation (crit food). I actually considered making hcs instead but I kept writing drabbles instead. Then I tried to write a fic, but kept writing... hcs... Perhaps if inspiration strikes me I'll revisit this idea someday, but! For now, allow me to present you with what feels like a raccoon in a tiara and a feather duster dress-

If Xiao could control player summons, he’d be yours already.

Unfortunately, he cannot- ergo you’ve made a hundred and forty pulls with not a Xiao in sight.

You've never hated Diluc more in your life, he can tell. Poor Diluc.

There are twenty minutes left for his banner to disappear for Devs know how long. He knows your luck is decidedly not his fault, but feels guilty nonetheless. What if he’s treated the same as Ganyu? Or, Devs forbid, Eula? 

You really did look forward to getting him, building him. He was so startled by your devotion- seated on that banner, he could see you anxiously open your inventory, check if you had enough primogems. You pre-farmed for him. You made silly little rituals for him(he winced when they failed). It was absurd. He was a high investment hyper carry. Why bother?

But you pulled Furina, and you pulled Faruzan. You don't have Xianyun (yet, he thinks, in both awe and alarm as he sees her ascension and talent materials in your inventory.)

He cannot fathom it. 

Perhaps you wanted Xianyun for herself- but then you also have Faruzan with all of her constellations lit up. And you also have Furina- and god, nevermind, you really did want him. The set you intend to put on Xianyun is the Song of Days Past. Four piece. With energy recharge substats.

You’re so close. Seventy. You get Layla. He echoes you when he mutters “but you’re not even on the banner!”

Twenty minutes left. You caress the screen. (That's a bit much.) Your brows are pinched together, lower lip worried by your teeth.

“I might have to break my free to play status,” you whisper.

It's not worth it! He wants to scream. Don't do it!

You bite your lip again as you find a chest. Primogem count: 159.

Oh dear.

“It’s fine,” you whisper. “It’s fine. This is fine.”

Xiao wishes he could make you go to bed somehow. You’ve been awake for hours. It’s fine even if you don’t pull him now, he returns like clockwork every lantern rite- hm? What are you pulling your Tighnari out for?

He knows you never really bothered to build him prior, purely because farming those fungi was a pain. He watches as you make Yelan rush up to the cliffs of the very Chasm before switching to Tighnari. When he realises what you’re doing, he buries his face in his palms. Your party members groan. Xiao wonders if you’re serious- you want to hit a bird in flight? With your aim?

“FOOL!” Faruzan shrieks. “Attack the ruin guard at Stormbearer instead! That achievement is much easier to get- Hat Guy, do something-“

“Too late.” He smacks his forehead with the back of his hand. “It’s started.”

Shing! Nothing Special, Just Practice.

What-?

You whoop, then cough and fall silent, anxiously peeking out of your room. Your fingers shake with trepidation as they land on the screen.

Wish x1.

Xiao feels a familiar tug as he hurtles through the air.

✦—————————————✦

Much to his immense surprise, this is an incredibly familiar story. Every time his banner rolls around there’s people that want him- spend for him, run amok collecting primogems for him. Farming for him. Giving him increasingly prettier and stronger polearms. Thrusting the Staff of Homa in his hands (sorry, Hu Tao).

He’s always a bit baffled, unless the person is someone already inclined to spend. He’s not a good choice for anyone’s account. He’s incredibly unflexible. A bit niche even. He doesn’t even do what his element is meant for.

Yet somehow you seem to enjoy running around with him. Making him special little layouts in the teapot. Insisting he collects your rewards every time. Making him speak to Katheryne every day (it’s so awkward every time, and she keeps laughing when your back is turned).

He remembers doing the Chasm quest with you. When it had begun, you were nothing short of gleeful, which brought him only anguish- he knew in part what had transpired and what was about to- and he knew you’d only be heartbroken by the end of this story.

And you were. You somehow managed to contain yourself till the very end- refusing to move to have even a sip of water until the quest concluded. You were patient- absorbing every every dialogue, every inch of text you could get your hands on.

To be loved is to be known, he thinks amusedly as you sniffle at the conclusion, then immediately open the wiki to confirm some tiny wretched detail. He can’t help but smile to himself a little as you angrily mutter profanities at the advertisements jumping out at you.

✦—————————————✦

“Is she SERIOUS.”

Xiao exhales softly as the Wanderer paces around the teapot. He hasn’t shut up since you logged in- because as soon as you finished your dailies, you occupied yourself straight away with painstakingly modifying the teapot (and crying over changes you accidentally forgot to save), all to welcome home the newest limited anemo five star. He’s been furious since he heard of her and ergo his potentially impending powercreep, much to the amusement of literally everyone besides Barbara, who feels sorry for him and Qiqi, who keeps forgetting who he even is. Xiao wishes he could tell you- he’s sure you’d laugh to no end, but even if he could you probably wouldn’t hear him right now since you’re currently occupied with one of your wretched rituals. This one involves Chongyun and- OH dear, no-

Furina grits her teeth as the glacial greatsword slams into the ground, straight through her neck. Chongyun looks like he really wishes the teapot had a bathroom. Xiao sighs.

Tiny fingers tug on his sleeve. Xiao blinks and turns around to face Sayu, her face puffy, her eyes crusty and glued shut. Eugh. Children really are something sometimes. Xiao considers wiping at her face with his sleeve, but… no. The Wanderer barks a laugh.

“What’s going on?” Sayu yawns. “Who are we pulling for?”

“Chasca,” Xiao says as the Wanderer hisses like a cat. “I wonder if she’ll need Faruzan too?”

They turn to Faruzan, sprawled like a corpse across the grass. You need to touch some too, Xiao thinks. You’ve wasted nearly an hour on the game today, and today has barely begun. He suspects you just like the thrill of gacha and are desperate for a five star. Weren’t you saving up for Xianyun? No matter.

Xiao knows you’ll never stop using him. You love him too dearly and sunk cost fallacy has effectively reeled you in, stored you away in a grimy little box. You’ve invested too much into Xiao to cast him aside now. But the Wanderer��

Barbara trots out the house just as the sky darkens, a cloudy depression opening up in the heavens. The Wanderer finally stops ranting, something about loyalty and actually amusing gameplay. Barbara puts the Tome of Eternal Flow away with a gasp upon noticing the giant HOLE in the sky (how did she just notice? Why is she gasping at the wishing screen when you open it thrice a day?) and gently nudges Faruzan out of her dysania to welcome home the newest anemo dps. Faruzan sniffles. Poor woman. It can’t be easy, dealing with him and the (thankfully, now quiet) ex Fatuus.

You pull. Xiao doesn’t bother holding his breath. It might as well be Bennett pulling, really because recently you’ve been getting exactly nothing of value. Another Faruzan, a Gorou for some godforsaken reason, four rainslashers, and so forth.

“Perhaps you’ll avoid your fourth betrayal,” Xiao muses. The Wanderer shoots him a startled glare, then laughs.

“Perhaps. You’re lucky, twink- NO!”

“Chasca, Flower-Feather Clan. Any disputes you need me to end for you? Depending on the situation, it could cost you a little di-“

✦—————————————✦

All things considered, it’s been a strange few years for Xiao. Since the game’s inception, he’s known he would be consigned to a solitary fate. He’s not a straightforward person, or particularly honest. He’s troublesome to play and troublesome to speak with. His chronicles are drenched in blood and anguish, quietly nestled away in softly murmured dialogue, artifact descriptions and optional adventures. Whatever love he was once showered with had long since washed away by the years that came after. And yet...

People continued to bother reaching past his exterior, reaching about with tender fingers. Wanting to know. Wanting to learn. They spoke of him. They took soft little bunches of their finite time and spun it into stories of him, art of him, words and adoration whispered and passed among one another in the communities they formed- that came together all because of their love for him.

It never failed to astonish him, fill him with gratitude so copious it was difficult to contain at times. It always drove him a bit insane- people loved him enough to painstakingly learn about him, strengthen him. That he was significant enough to sow the seeds of friendship formed by the common love felt for him.

Thinking about it makes him feel a bit silly. He’s just a character. He wonders if the others think about this as well (not Qiqi for sure) but he’s glad to have brought people someone real comfort after his fictional atrocities. Mortals… humans. He snorts a bit. He’ll try a bit harder to crit for you tomorrow.

[e3rt]

Any writing tips?

I’m actually surprised to be asked because I’m not so sure of my writing haha! But what did help me was reading a BUNCH and studying literary theory, I mostly like gothic literature so authors like Mary Shelley and Anne Radcliffe inspire me a lot. I swear studying literary theory and media theory doesn’t suck balls when you do it with media you’re really passionate about, there’s some great resources just on google scholar. I recommend Literary theory: The basics by Hans Bertens and Techniques of close reading by Barry Brummett. These are good intro texts that can give you some direction on learning from texts.

Not being afraid to receive criticism is also fundamental. I had some amazing people edit and critique my work to make it more compelling.

Understanding tropes and narrative progression is super helpful as well. Understand the motives for why each character does what they do and what their “archetype” is can help narratives feel linear.

It’s also a bit overused and not always applicable but “write what you know” can be very useful. Obviously I didn’t have Jeff the kills you as a sibling and go crazy, but I tried to ground the work in real and relatable themes; losing touch with reality, people you love being changed due to tragedy, losing things that matter to you, social isolation, death and violence. Using things you’re familiar with as a foundation for a fictional setting can make the emotional impact a lot more real.

But the most important thing is to write, find prompt, jot down ideas, practice mediums you aren’t strong in (occasionally I dabble in poetry and then delete it out of sheer embarrassment), enjoy the process of it.

If there’s any professional writers, hobbyists or even avid readers who want to share some insight and advice please do! Hope this is helpful 🤍

[moldy-flowers]

CHAT CHAT CHAT NARUTO AU WHERE ITS JUST CONSTANT WAR AND FEM SASUKE GOES TO WAR DISGUISED AS A MAN BC HIS BROTHER IS TOO SICK TO FIGHT SO """"""""SHE"""""""" GOES OUT IN HIS PLACE BUT THEN REALISES HES TRANS IN THE MIDDLE OF COMBAT AND ITS SICK ACTUALLY

[thatsbelievable]

[lacecap]

song about something you'll never be forgiven for. beepbox link here, and a singalong under the read more :''-)

starting point "…so don't look back" i took your hand and led you astray into the light i fear i might have made a fatal mistake walk in a straight line walk in a straight line i couldn't ask i only hope that sinners are saved but in all honesty, my honor keeps me somewhat afraid walk in a straight line don't dare look behind ♫♫♫ i had a dream we tried to reach the finishing line but in the silence still the time we killed had come back to life walk in a straight line walk in a straight line the signs had merged into a single "end of the world" where every undead thing was damned to sing "esrever ni gnos a" walk in a straight line …tell me that you're fine ♫♫♫ walk in a straight line (walk in a straight line) don't dare look behind (don't dare look behind) tell me that you're fine (something that had died) you're still breathing right? (are you satisfied?) walk between the lines (how to save a life) don't dare look behind (change the ending line) reach the end this time (tell a little lie) bring me back to life… ♫♫♫ if i'd look back and held the hands that led me astray into the light i'd proudly cry "this is my final mistake" walk with me this time walk with me this time i should have asked i know the answer's somewhat cliché but was it worth the price and worth the pain? you're fading away— walk with me this time bring me back to life… if i'd look back… if i'd look back… if i'd look back… if i'd look back… if i'd look back… if you'd look--

[yamishika]

Jellal & Erza : Lilium / Death Of Innocence

Pure white lilies once untouched by scare and sin

Now bathe in blood and are soaked from within

Their fragile petals have become bruised and worn 

Marking the place where innocence has been trampled and torn

Sweet laughter no longer lingers here 

Just the looming shadows that speak of fear 

The scarlet stains, an unmoving mark 

Forever reminding of the chains that kept them bound in the dark 

The lilies scream their silent cries 

Of dreams undone beneath lightless skies 

Each drop of red, a memory slain 

And haunting reminders of a past that never lets them break from their chains

Once soft as dawn, their beauty has bled

But neither are they allowed to rest amongst those forgotten or dead 

Yet the blood stained lilies continue to bow in grief 

Whilst watching the promise of innocence being swept away like a falling leaf

Darkness still surrounds yet they stand, though bent and torn 

Eternally mourning the life that could have once been born 

With each scarlet stained petal, and through every lamenting sigh

The death of our innocence only continues to pass on by..

[wildsaltair]

respectfully I need to climb him like a rope ladder and do him so good we both ascend into the clouds and never recover

[canisalbus]

I'm sure you get loads of these but heck I said I'd give it a shot anyway!

Your artwork is so inspiring and beautiful. I recently graduated from art school with a degree in Animation Production but I've decided I'd love to be an illustrator some day. Your work really motivates me and gets my brain juice buzzin. Keep it up!!!

.

[shiftingmouse]

my daisy jones and the six self

who is a former beauty queen, who left the pageant life to go to college and study music production, who grew up listening to records devouring them inside and out finding the special bits that made them magic, who despite the misogyny of the 70s vows to herself that she will put the work in to become a music producer, who wants to be apart of making the next great american record, who takes the job of secretary at sound city studios just to be a step closer, who writes her own music in a nook at her beach cottage, who had answered camila’s call when she set up an appointment for the six to meet teddy, who meets the six during their performance for teddy, who gets asked by the producer what she thinks and she thought they were great but always thought something was missing, who immediately befriends the group and crushes on the curly haired drummer who always seemed to find his way to her desk when he visits the studio, who meets daisy with teddy and it immediately clicks that daisy is what the six needs, who befriends daisy and urges her to give the band a shot, who produces on look at us now, then on aurora, who gets her big break afterwards being known as a producer for the breakout group, who visits them on tour, and who is there for the final show <3

[averycutesalamander]

in other news, the boothill obsession has gotten so dire that he's literally involved in my therapy now

[moe-broey]

Doodles

Low-poly Thing

Have you ever sat in a chair before.......

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