#Is this the same person you told me about last time too?

[alchemistc]

Harry twirls a lock of dark curls between his fingers. Tips his chin against Tommy's head and stares up at the ceiling. He considers not asking, this time.

The sex is good, and Tommy's funny, and if he closes his eyes he could imagine there could be something - Tommy twitches and shifts his hand lower like he might be gearing up for another round, and it breaks the fantasy. That's new.

"Tell me about him," Harry says, and Tommy's eyes tip up to glare at Harry.

"Making an assumption, there," Tommy warns, but Harry just raises an eyebrow. Six years of this and Harry knows better than to expect Tommy would show up at his door for any reason other than to get his mind off of something - someone else.

"So we're both asses," Harry intones. He needs to call the super, see what they'll do about the water stain on his ceiling. "Tell me about him."

Tommy sighs. Twists, drifts away to the second pillow, and Harry's done this enough times not to mourn the loss, exactly. It's not like he's ever told Tommy -

"He's too young. Impulsive. New."

Harry fails to hold in his snort. "Okay."

Tommy at 34 had been a fucking hurricane. Newly out, no holds barred, he'd jumped right into the deep end and let the storm whirl him around. They'd been friends, for the first six months, Harry a watchful presence while Tommy made it his mission to be more than the guy in the dark corner getting a risky blowie fifteen minutes before last call. To be out - not loud, that wasn't Tommy's style - but to at least be himself.

He'd lasted two months in a real, actual relationship before he'd shown up at Harry's door with a six pack and a box of condoms.

"He looks at me and sees this - cool suave guy -" Harry shifts, nearly interrupts because that guy is exactly what Tommy projects, even if he doesn't mean to. Fucking Scorpios. "- and I was falling for him."

Yeah. Harry can extrapolate from that. Tommy fell ass over tea kettle and then got spooked.

"He's just so fucking open with himself. No brainworm goes untouched, and he can't hide his emotions for shit, and he's so goddamn stubborn and so goddamn ready to bulldoze through every hurdle ahead without looking back at the damage, and..." Tommy trails off. One hand shifts down to hitch the duvet up over his hips, and Harry adds the duvet cover to his list of laundry. "I gave him too many chances to slow down on his own."

"What, did the kid ask you to marry him or something?"

"He's the Himbo," Tommy retorts, and it takes Harry a moment to make the connection. He whistles through his teeth just to watch the scowl fall into place on Tommy's face. "And the connection freaked him out so much he asked me to move in. To his bachelor pad loft." Harry waits. "It has two balconies, Harry. Two."

"...he knows you have a mortgage, right?"

Tommy shoves at his shoulder. "It doesn't matter. We're just - the timing wasn't right."

"Did you want it to be?"

That's always the thing he ends up hung up on, in Harry's experience. Tommy's scared out of his mind to be the right person at the wrong time. Always has been. There's probably some mommy or daddy issues hidden in there somewhere he hasn't explored. Tommy's eyes drift up to the water stain. "Don't these apartments all have the same layout?"

This is the shove-off. This is his hint not to push. "Yes, and I really don't want to ask how the upstairs neighbor flooded their bedroom. Back to the guy." He's never been one for acknowledging unspoken cues.

"Buck," Tommy says, and the name sounds harsh in his mouth.

"Buck," Harry repeats, and pictures Tommy's usual type - tall, light-eyed, more smiles than common sense. There was always something distinctive, too - freckles, a scar, weird shaped ears.

"I miss him."

It doesn't hurt the way it had those first few years, when Harry was convinced that eventually Tommy would see him as more than a friend to blow off steam with. Still. There's a twinge there, beneath his rib cage.

"So stop missing him. That's an option, isn't it?"

And Tommy does that thing - that frustrating, enchanting thing, where his whole body seems to hold the emotion flickering across his face. "I walked out on him. I dug the damn knife in just to make sure he wouldn't try to convince me to stay."

"Would you have? Stayed?"

Tommy's quiet. The sweat has cooled on his skin, and the lights coming in through his window dance across the skin of his shoulder, his chest, that stupid thick neck of his.

The phone he left on the bedside table is dark, but that doesn't stop Tommy's gaze flicking to it.

"Cards on the table, Tommy?" Harry sucks in a breath. Blows it out through his nose. "Once upon a time, I convinced myself you were it for me. That I'd be satisfied with what you gave me, and I wouldn't ask for more. I cut you out of my life for eight months when I realized how fucking dumb that was."

Tommy frowns. Harry hadn't really ever expected him to notice.

"I've seen you through shitty relationships, and one sided ones. I've heard all the bullshit you and Greg put each other through. I've been there for every fucking heartache."

And he'd offered up his body like it was absolution for always being fucking thrilled when a relationship ended.

"You called me Evan," Harry murmurs, and Tommy's eyes go wide. That's never fucking happened before. This thing wouldn't have lasted nearly as long if he'd ever heard another man's name in his bed before. "You should shower. Go home. Take a day or two, if you need it. But I know for a fact you wait this shit out, justify coming to me with time and space from whatever guy has you strung out. I know it's been a minute already, and I know you've never sounded so unsure about cutting someone loose."

Tommy's gaze flicks to him.

"Whatever it is that's got you so scared of this guy, figure it the fuck out. Because it sounds to me like you fell fast and hard and hit a fucking wall before you ever thought to tap the brakes. That's not fair to you or him. Call him. Text him. Show up at his door with a bouquet or an industrial size bottle of lube and figure your shit out. Together."

Tommy stares at him for a long, long time in silence.

"Them's the brakes, huh?"

Harry hates that he knows exactly what Tommy means. Still, he clarifies. "This is your forever guy." Six years of watching him flail and learn and grow and hurt and love and fuck. He knows a thing or two about Tommy and his flights of romance. Knows this lonely man has never sounded quite so lonely before. "You don't need me, anymore."

He's quiet as his eyes drift back up to the stain. "I'm not his forever guy." Harry can't actually refute that, considering he's never met the guy. But he knows Tommy. Knows exactly how captivating he can be. Knows Tommy's a sucker for that starry-eyed look that so often has meant not love, as Tommy reads it, but idolization. "What if I'm not his forever guy?"

Harry digs toes into the spot in the duvet where Tommy's knees should be. He shifts Tommy about half a millimeter. "He has a nickname you don't call him except when you're punishing yourself. He dated Abby and that shared history didn't scare him off. You'd never let yourself fall for a guy that wasn't throwing clear signs that it was serious. I'd put my odds on him doing something weird and wholesome every time he thinks about you until his entire two balcony loft is filled with trinkets or treats and he still can't get you off his mind."

Harry's never seen Tommy's face do that before. Not in the throes of a honeymoon phase and not in the worst of a bad breakup. It's some awful mixture between unbridled hope and abject despair.

Harry thinks it's probably fair to hate him a little, for that face. He's earned the right.

"If he kicks you to the curb, I'll take you to one of those expensive wine tastings you pretend to hate, and I'll let you drink all my samples too." It's not an idle promise. Tommy may pretend to hate it but Harry fucking loves wine tastings. "If he doesn't..." Harry shoots him a fond look, "...knowing your type I'm not invited to the wedding anyway, so I guess then I'd been seeing you around."

Something shadows his gaze for a moment, but he's quick to hide it, to smack Harry on the chest like they've just had a good game, to shift out of bed and into his briefs before Harry can blink. He doesn't love Tommy. Not the way he'd have liked to, years and years ago. Still, when Tommy shoots him the dorkiest finger guns known to man and scoops up the rest of his clothes to take to the bathroom with him, Harry still wonders what it's like to have him enough to love him fully.

---

The name catches him off guard every time he hears it. 'Evan' isn't hard to filter - Evan had been a popular enough name to immediately write it off but Buck wasn't white noise of a name

Buck was a character in a movie, an old grizzled war vet, a dog. The name Buck wasn't popular enough not to hear it every time it was so much as whispered in his direction.

The coffee shop isn't crowded, but it's not dead either. When the girl at the counter calls out an order for Buck, sliding three cups down the counter, Harry can't help but look up.

A tall broad shouldered hulk of a man smiles a dimpled smile at the barista, and Harry watches him palm two cups and grab the third one in one practiced move. He's cute, Harry thinks. Maybe his grandpa ordered, Harry thinks, a little harder, and then caves, following his path through the three-tops littering the lobby.

Harry catches sight of him without being noticed. He's grinning, one of those rare earnest ones that make his ears rise and his face crinkle like a Shar Pei, hand spread out over something lying open on the table. The little girl on the seat to his right is a surprise, but Harry hasn't spoken to Tommy in two years. Maybe he's had enough time to get his mind around the idea that he's nothing like his father. The girl responds to something Tommy says by palming at as much of his face as she can reach and turning to the man now approaching their table.

"Uncle Buck!" he catches, another firm tug at the part of his brain that's been stuck on this for too long. The man barely gets all three drinks on the table before the girl is launching herself up into his arms, and it's too late for Harry to turn away without notice. Tommy's gaze shifts across the room and lands right on him.

He looks like he might wave Harry over, and Harry would rather die than know whether Tommy would introduce him as an old friend, or by name like Buck should know it. He tips a smile Tommy's way. Raises a brow at the man - Buck - and gets lips being sucked behind teeth in response, and then a slow, subtle head tilt.

Good. Good for him. Harry's never wanted anything for Tommy but to see him incandescently happy.

Witnessing it from a distance is better.

Buck twirls his - niece? - flops her back down on the bench seat next to Tommy and bends to say something that includes a pinky promise. He's got a wine-dark stain just above his brow, and Harry can't quite hide the tip of his smile.

Harry's name rings in his ears as he picks up his drink, and he's halfway to the door, feeling proud of himself for not turning back, when he hears the chorus of three laughs erupting from the corner where he'd taken his last good look.

He'd seen the ring on insta, a week and a half ago. Just an uncaptioned picture of two bands balanced one over the other on a rock, a killer sunset sky blurry behind them. No tags. 102 likes and counting.

Harry pushes through the doors and only glances through the window to watch Tommy tip his head back in laughter for a second, before he's cleared the coffee shop and rounded the corner back to his office.

[sanemistar]

TAKE ME BACK

contents ★ ex!geto x fem!reader, angst to fluff, exes then back to lovers, slightly ooc geto (?), 1.2k+ wc. requested for my milestone event. author's message ★ trying a new layout for this one :3 i honestly love this color combo plus these are my favorite colors ever <333

event m.list ★ jjk m.list

seeing your ex boyfriend suguru for the first time after the breakup left you with mixed feelings of both familiarity and unfamiliarity. in terms of appearance, he hadn’t really changed. he looked pretty much the same way as you left him except his jet black hair had gotten longer. however, something about his aura had changed. you weren’t exactly sure what it was, you just had a feeling that it wasn’t the same as before, it was a tad bit softer, more gentle, and it made you feel as if you were being in the presence of a completely different person.

tension began to rise as awkward silence filled the atmosphere around you. it was excruciating and you had a hard time breathing, your heart clenched painfully. you were anxious and nervous.

yet despite all that, deep down inside your heart was a part of you that wanted to see suguru again, which grew bigger when it actually happened, you were quite happy to see him again after all that time.

if you were being completely honest, you had never been able to move on from him. so in other words, you still had feelings for him. and if he ever asked you to get back together, you would do it in a heartbeat without a single hint of hesitation.

you knew he wouldn’t though, and these were only wishful thoughts on your part. because you were pretty sure things between you and him had ended once and for good that day. showing no signs of a reconciliation.

“you haven’t changed at all.” your eyes widened slightly, it was as if he was reading your mind. was it some sort of telepathy or something? you didn’t know. his voice pierced through your ears, and it got you thinking that his tone hadn’t changed in the slightest. his voice was still as soft as it could be.

“you too, sug—geto.” you almost called him by the nickname you gave him back when he was your boyfriend, but quickly realized and changed to his last name. however, it didn’t feel right to you. it felt so forced, simply because his nickname used to roll off your lips ever so effortlessly, your tongue was so used to the sound of ‘sugu’ as it rolled out naturally. so when you forced it to say his last name instead, it came off weird.

suguru chuckled, a somewhat sad smile made its way onto his face upon hearing his last name rolling over your lips. the sound of it felt foreign to his ears as it reminded him that you two weren’t in the kind of relationship that allowed you to be on a nickname basis anymore. it hurt him, and it hurt him deep.

because truth be told, he too, still loved you. he tried his hardest to move on with his life, he went out with many girls, and he even went as far as to sleep with them in desperate attempts to forget all about you as if he’d never met you. but to his misfortune, his attempts never worked out. you were simply unforgettable to him, he could never erase you from his heart even if he wanted to.

he had left his heart with you on the day you called it quits, and couldn’t manage to get it back to give it to someone else.

you felt as if time was frozen, and you were stuck in yet another prolonged moment of silence. with just you and suguru together, no one else.

your mind was constantly telling you to run away, to not look back and leave him behind. that you were better off without him. but your emotions took control over your actions as your heart refused to let your body move, and you remained still in your spot.

“i can’t believe i let you go,” suguru spoke for the first time in what seemed like forever, breaking that thick layer of silence. “i was such a fool, wasn’t i?”

his regretful tone caught you by surprise, you couldn’t believe that it was possible for suguru to regret a decision he made. yet there he was, spilling out his regrets in front of you.

you slowly parted your lips open, thinking of what to say back to him.

“isn’t it a little too late for that?”

that wasn’t what you wanted to say, you wanted to say that you missed him, that you still loved him, that you wanted to get back together with him.

but your mind was too quick to react. you wished you could take back what you said, but it was too late for that.

“maybe… but if i’m being honest with myself, i still love you. actually, i don’t think i’ve ever stopped loving you once.” you watched suguru admit that he still had feelings for you in utter disbelief. it was the last thing you expected to hear from him. how he looked at you while he was talking and how earnest he sounded were enough proof that he was being sincere and genuine, he meant every single word he said.

suguru on the other hand, felt some sort of relief washing over him after finally letting his suppressed feelings for you out of his chest. he didn’t know if he would ever get another chance to see you again, so he was more than determined to win you back. it wasn’t guaranteed that you would allow him in your life once again, but he was still willing to give it his all.

“so please just,” he paused momentarily, taking a deep breath before proceeding. “take me back to you.” it sounded as if he was pleading, perhaps he was indeed pleading. he was just desperate at that point as this was his last resort. but he didn’t care if he seemed desperate, he was able to put his pride aside and show you his weak side. to suguru, if showing his vulnerability to you was the price he had to pay for him to get you back, then so be it.

“you idiot, of course i’d take you back. i wouldn’t want to be with anyone who wasn’t you, i will always love you.”

that sole sentence was enough to bring you to tears because of how moving it was. you immediately run towards him and throw yourself in his arms as you wrapped your arms tightly around him as you bury your face in the crook of his neck, holding onto him for dear life. his body slightly flinched under your touch, but quickly reacted as his strong arms pulled you closer to him. your bodies were so close that you could feel the warmth of one another.

“welcome back, sugu.” you said in between your sobbing, finally allowing his name roll off your lips ever so easily. he smiled upon hearing his nickname being said as he gave the top of your head a series of small, tender pecks.

“yeah, i’m back home.” he hummed softly against your ear.

suguru had been lost for so long, but at last he was finally back to where he belonged, to you, his home.

𝜗𝜚 taglist: @unriding @lxnarphase @sylusdoll @itachiiwrites @itoshivy @17020 @creamflix @luv-lies @suguru-getos ( @gothsuguru + @hiraethwrote special tags for you my loves since you asked me about it )

[miupow]

CRAVE。⧼ PROLOGUE ⧽ ─── 투모로우바이투게더

stay away from the woods。

★ pairing。txt ot5 x fem!reader‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎g。⧼ 📖 ⧽ fantasy , romance , comedy , angst , eventual smut ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎cw。descriptions of personal injury and blood ・animal attacks ・mentions of illness and death ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎wc。2. 1 k | to library。

★ includes。。。heeseung from enhypen

notes from lia。finally!! happy thanksgiving everyone, i'm thankful for every single one of my amazing readers!! i hope you enjoy the prologue to my very much anticipated crave series!! look out for the first chapter in the beginning of december!!

all your life, you had been told to never step foot into the woods. that there were monsters lurking just below its dark canopy, hiding just out of sight and patiently waiting to strike. and yet the whistling of the pines has never been this entrancing. the trees taunt you from your safe little cabin, their outstretched branches waving and creaking in the wind as if they were beckoning you closer and closer.

you can see them just as perfectly from the bakery as you can from your bedroom window. they feel inescapable.

the shrill, tinny ringing of a bell snaps your attention away from the open window, your thoughts having consumed you as you laid out fresh loaves of bread to cool in the frosty air. you brush your floury hands off on your apron and turn to welcome your customer, your polite smile growing into a warm grin when you recognize the lanky boy standing by your workbench.

“that’s an awful lot to be doing all on your own.” he comments with a sideways smile, running his fingers through his auburn hair.

“i open the shop by myself every morning, hee.” you reply pointedly, rising to your tip toes to give him a quick hug before brushing past him towards the towering stone oven. “you know mother can’t work this early anymore.”

“couldn’t you ask one of your siblings to help?”

“they’re too young to use the oven or mill the wheat, they’d be no help at all. it’s not even that much work, really, just baking and cleaning. i don’t want to burden them with all of this on top of everything else.”

nothing has been the same since your father fell ill. the bakery was his and your mother’s, a humble way to support their family and their quaint little village for decades. you were never particularly wealthy, but you had enough to get by. consumption, the village doctor had called it. it was a truly fitting word for the disease that slowly consumed your poor, frail father whole. nothing was left, not even the bones. a mere shadow laid in bed all day, a ghost whose coughs have began to sound like rattling chains. none of the medicines the doctor prescribed ever worked, they only seemed to be making him sicker. he said that there was a hospital in the royal city, but your village was days away by carriage, and you and your mother had nowhere near the means to fund the trip. part of you were certain he wouldn’t survive the journey either way.

your mother now spends her days caring for him, an apothecary’s daughter clinging on to the last shreds of hope that her remedies will ward off the hands of death. you desperately wish you could feel the same, but you’ve already begun grieving… until recently.”

“mother said she’d stop by to help this afternoon.” you assert, leaving no more room for discussion. you can feel his eyes on your back, watching you as you stoke the firewood and slide trays of dough into the oven. “you worry about me too much! i’m not a little girl anymore.”

“i worried about you then and i’ll worry about you now.” heeseung chuckles endearingly, erupting a swarm of butterflies in your belly. “you’ve always been a little too brave.”

his words remind you of your mulling thoughts, pulling your gaze back to the window. “heeseung, have you ever known someone who went into the woods?”

heeseung is quiet for a worryingly long time. “the blackwoods? not anyone who made it back… why?”

your mind is screaming at you to keep your mouth shut, but you just can’t keep it all bottled up inside anymore. you’ve never hidden a single thing from your best friend, except this. “i was reading my mothers books the other day.” you admit softly, unable to look him in the eye. “in one of them it said there is a plant that grows in the blackwoods, a type of flower. it can cure any illness, save people from the brink of death…”

“y/n.” heeseung warns, his face dropping. “you’re not seriously considering going in there, are you?”

you hesitate for a second too long— he cuts you off with a scoff, stepping forward to grip your shoulders with his rough carpenter’s hands. “there’s no way that flower is even real, y/n. don’t be childish. just some fairytale out of one of your mother’s quack medicine books.”

“it was my grandfather’s.” you defend softly, finally looking up into heeseung’s eyes— the coldness you find in them frighten you.

“he was a quack too.” heeseung retorts, releasing your shoulders to turn and swiftly slam the bakery window shut. your loaves shake from the force. “there’s no magical flower that is going to save your father, especially not in the blackwoods. i love you, y/n, seriously, but you can’t keep believing in fairytales— and you wonder why i worry about you so much! promise me, you won’t go in those woods. please. one step inside and you’ll never come out. i can’t afford to lose you— your family can’t afford to lose you.”

“okay.” you relent, just loud enough for heeseung to hear. “you’re right, i was being ignorant. i won’t go into the woods.”

“say you promise.”

“i… i promise…”

standing at the edge of the forest, your cold clammy fingers wrapped tightly around the strap of your satchel, you’re caught frozen in place. you just can’t seem to get your feet to step forward, your psyche screaming at you to turn back and run home. heeseung’s words circle your thoughts, so all-consuming that you swear you can hear them in the howling wind— you haven’t told a lie since you were very young, and never to heeseung of all people. the guilt nags at you to the point of nausea.

but you had made up your mind long before you had spoken to heeseung earlier that morning. he’s a simple woodworker, he doesn’t understand a single thing about the healing magic that hides in nature… but your grandfather did. he wrote those books himself, a man who would risk his life in the pursuit of knowledge, just to help others. you wanted nothing more than to continue his legacy, save your father and prove to your close-minded little village that he was anything but the insane, rambling idiot that they all viewed him as. before and after his death. you’ve been preparing for weeks, reading as much as you can about the dangers of the blackwoods, packing whatever you possibly could think of to help you on the journey. you might have overpacked, to be honest, your weathered leather satchel hanging heavy on your shoulder. if everything went as you planned, you would be back home before anyone would notice that you were gone.

your breath fogs in front of your face, reminding you of the hearth smoke billowing from your cabin’s chimney. you can still see it, just beyond the hill, its straw hatch roof just visible over the tall grass waving in the wind. you could turn back now, put all your things away and fall asleep in the safety of your bedroom. you could forget about all of this and wake up tomorrow morning as if you had never planned anything at all.

you will yourself to move your feet, frozen in your boots like the frost on the leaves, and you enter the ominous pitch-black dark of the blackwoods.

the tree canopy is so thick that the moonlight barely breaches it, everything swathed in darkness as you walk farther and farther away from home. the flickering candle in your lantern does little to illuminate much except what was right in front of you. you focus on what you can see, the dead fallen leaves and frosty underbrush that crunch loudly underneath your feet as you venture deeper. it’s deafening in your ears, the forest eerily silent all around you, not even the distant call of an owl, the scattering of a chipmunk— you’re certain that any creatures hiding in the trees or in the brush knew of your presence.

including the monsters.

in none of the books you read would they ever describe them more than just that; monsters that use the night as camouflage, that kill livestock in their pens and steal children from their beds. any intruder in their own territory will certainly be made short work out of. you’ve always believed that they were nothing but scary stories to keep children well behaved, a tall tale your mother would use to get you to come inside for bed.

distantly, cutting sharply through the silence, you hear the howling of a wolf. it sounded a safe distance away, yet it still sent you jumping. the sudden movement causes your lantern to extinguish, plummeting you into complete and total darkness. your heart dropping, you curse, placing it on the forest floor against a mossy tree before opening the flap of your satchel and rummaging blindly through the contents for your matchbox. you try to steady your breathing, heart rattling against your ribcage, matchbox just beyond your grasp as you struggle in the dark.

you hear the rustling of leaves just to your right. desperately, you tell yourself that you’re just hearing things.

finally, you wrap your fingers around the familiar shape of your matchbox, pulling it out to fumble with its contents before you pick back up your lantern. with a strike of the match against the rough bark of the tree, you’re illuminated once again, carefully lighting the candle before putting out the match with a shake of your hand. triumphantly, you turn to continue to venture farther into the woods, before stopping cold. your breath knocks out of you all at once, leaving you gasping in the cold air.

farther up on the oak tree, carved crudely into the bark, are three sharp claw marks you’re almost certain weren’t there before.

but they had to have been, because there was simply no way that something could have snuck up so close to you without you noticing. these woods were driving you mad, you feared, still trying to steady your breathing as you turn and step forward.

as you continue deeper into the forest, you swear you hear another pair of footsteps following your own. you stop abruptly to catch them, but you hear nothing— another thing you must be imagining… yet you set onward a little faster than before.

maybe it was that wolf you had heard, you entertained as you examine the dark twisted trees. it sounded rather far away, but you couldn’t be one to discount the creature’s speed. maybe it was just watching you to make sure you weren’t a threat, and it would leave you shortly…

a growl, deep and barely audible, rumbles from between the bushes. you break out into a wild sprint, gasping and panting, running deep into the unknown. the creature chases you with frightening speed, no longer trying to hide its footsteps as it weaves through the forest floor. you had no idea where you were or where you were going, but this beast… this was his home. the hunt was on.

low hanging branches scratch and tear at your skin and clothing as you run, blood running down your face, legs and arms— you couldn’t feel the pain, the adrenaline numbing everything except for the terror in your heart. now you were just easier to track, you agonized, but you couldn’t do anything but keep running, dropping your satchel and lantern to lighten your load as much as you could. alas, you barely ran any faster… you were starting to slow down, exhaustion was starting to creep up on you, your chest aching and desperate for breath, your legs screaming in pain as you stumble and stagger through the labyrinth of trees. you couldn’t see a single thing in front of you, completely lost in the darkness, your arms outstretched to feel around as you ran.

the creature was advancing, it’s footsteps thunderous right behind you, its snarls and growls growing closer and closer. in a desperate attempt to escape, you sharply turn to the right to run in a different direction.

just as you move to step forward, your boot wedges itself underneath an exposed tree root, and you are sent tumbling to the mossy ground. you try to break your fall with your hands, but you react far too late— you slam your head against a jagged rock, blinding white light flashing behind your eyelids before your world goes black.

the last thing you feel is pain, and the last thing you see are two bright, bloody red eyes staring at you through the darkness.

[cherry-smokes]

Sugar Me

AKA the time you meet Steve at one of your gigs loosely based on Pour Some Sugar On Me by Def Leppard Pairing: Steve Harrington x bassist!reader best friend!Eddie x bassist!reader Word count: 3k Note: reader goes by Sugar and uses she/her pronouns Warning: Sugar is a flirt:)

Sometimes you think you would be the most miserable person on earth had you not been in your 20’s in the 80’s. Rock and roll is alive and well and as Eddie likes to scream when he’s four beers in, it will never die!

Meeting him was one of the greatest gifts you were granted. Despite what the rest of Hawkins thinks, he’s the greatest guy you know. The rock scene was supposed to be all about going against the grain. Expressing yourself and indulging in things most people are too scared to indulge in because of what others might think. Despite this, it’s still infested with misogyny. Especially in a place like Hawkins.

Getting people to take any of your interests seriously as a woman is damn near impossible. Not with Eddie though. When he asked you to join Corroded Coffin you didn’t think twice. Eddie trusted you. He appreciated your talent and you knew going into it that you wouldn’t just be eye candy to draw in a crowd as the only chick in the band. To Eddie, how you dressed or how you presented yourself on or off stage didn't mean anything. As soon as you got that Bass in your hands, that's all that mattered to him.

Before you met him, finding your place in Hawkins had been frustrating. You'd tried other bands but they just never worked out. When guys in bands are raunchy and bold they're praised. For them it's a badge of honor. God forbid a woman dresses in the same skin-tight clothes and flirts, now that would just be down right slutty right?

Thankfully for you, the guys in the band don't share this sentiment. However they do have their moments. They're just guys after all.

When Eddie mentioned he’d invited his friends to your gig tonight you were a bit surprised. You’ve never been one to judge a book by its cover, but from your brief knowledge of Steve ‘the hair’ Harrington the last place you expected him to want to be on a Friday night is a dive bar at the edge of town.

You’ve heard Eddie’s Hail Mary about how-

“He’s a changed man Sugar, swear it!”

You believe him, really! If Eddie told you the sky was red you’d believe him too. Despite whatever bulletin board conspiracy your band mates have drawn up you aren’t fucking Eddie. He’s your best friend, frankly you’re still waiting for the day people can comprehend that a guy and a girl can be friends without secretly wanting to make out and elope in Vegas.

Steve Harrington however, was not a man you could be ‘just friends’ with.

The second he walks into the bar trailing behind a girl with mousy blonde hair and a chic vest you pause mid sip, beer instantly forgotten. No one is allowed to look that good in a Polo. Don’t even mention the hair-the hair! It’s a waste he isn’t in a glam rock band, blasphemous even.

He looks out of place in the bar. He shakes all the guy’s hands following it with a pat on the arm similar to how a Wall Street guy would greet his coworkers.

“Stevie, Buckley. This is the one and only Sugar!”

He introduces you in that tone he tends to use during a campaign. You lean across the table as Robin sits down to shake her hand.

“It’s nice to finally meet you, Eddie never shuts up about you.”

“How could he?”

You tease as you scooch your chair to make space for Steve to drag one over to your table. He sits down, holding his hand out to shake yours “Nice to meet you I’m St-“

“Stevie right?”

You cut him off with a firm hand shake and a curl of your red lips. Similar to his cheeks as he nods in agreement.

This is just going to be so fun. You've heard rumors about how much of a playboy he was back in high school. However, considering that he spends most of his time babysitting kids and according to Eddie ‘striking out’ you have a feeling that isn’t the case anymore.

You can’t help but notice the way his eyes linger over the lipstick stain on your cup, or the way your leopard print pants stretch over your thighs.

“This your first show?”

He looks back at you, wiping his palms down his jeans. He looks all American. Like he came straight out of a Bruce Springsteen song.

“Yeah, it is.”

“Well, I’ll make sure it’s extra special for you tonight.”

“You’ve only known the guy two seconds why are you giving him special treatment Sugar, I thought I was your main man?”

Eddie says this as he kicks your leg underneath the table.

“When you look like that you get special treatment, I don’t make the rules.”

You take a sip of your beer, glancing at Steve over the glass.

“Alright Casanova finish your beer we gotta get up there soon.”

You raise one arm in surrender as you chug what’s left and go to stand up. Making sure to lightly drag your arm behind Steve’s chair as you start walking to the stage. You turn to Robin before leaving, “killer vest by the way.”

You know Eddie is just teasing. This is just who you are, and you really get a kick out of seeing how many buttons you can push. How pretty and pink you can make a guy. According to the flush that spread over Steve's face, pretty damn pink.

It's just fun. You get the feeling Steve tends to go more for the 'girl next door' type and you've never been one to get your hopes up. Hawkins hasn't necessarily been kind to people like you. Guy's were never really that into you in your early teens. When they were, it was because they assumed you were an easy lay. You can imagine their disappointment when your idea of a perfect first date wasn't hooking up in the back of their dad's cars or under the bleachers.

It's fine though. Guys are much more fun when you can flirt them up at the bar and never see them again. It keeps your schedule free for rehearsals anyways.

You find yourself lost in this thought as you set up on stage. Glancing over at the bar you see Steve and Robin bickering quietly. He holds a beer out of her reach as she yanks at his hair before snatching it out of his hands. You can't help but see a resemblance between them and you and Eddie.

As if he knows what you're thinking he comes up behind you, guitar in hand as poke's at your side.

"Ready to rock and roll?"

"You sound like a dad when you say that."

"I thought you liked that kind of thing?"

You shove him harshly but can't help the laugh that comes out of you.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Steve swears this is heaven.

Yeah it’s hot in the bar, and it reeks of beer and sweat and he’s being jostled around like a punching bag but god it’s worth it when he sees you on stage.

Baby hairs stick to your forehead, sweaty and glistening. Your black top clings to your body and he feels like an asshole for staring at your legs in those pants. The real kicker is your hands. The way you pluck at the base effortlessly as if they’re gliding on air.

He flinches as the band finishes up the song and Robin hollers right beside him.

“They’re good! Not that I didn’t think they’d be good, I totally believed Eddie when he said they were but they’re like-actually good!”

Steve holds back a chuckle, Robin is a light weight but he’s glad she’s a happy drunk.

“Yeah, they’re killer.”

Eddie speaks up breathlessly from stage.

“Alright everyone, for our last song of the night let me draw your attention to our very own Sugar for a very special cover.”

He dramatically gestures over to you and bows down as you step up to your own mic, which you’ve been neglecting for most of the night.

The crowd hollers for a moment before cooling down. It’s hypnotic, the way you command a room just with your presence. As if you could make everyone buckle at their knees with just a breath.

“Step inside

Walk this way

You and me babe

Hey hey!”

The crowd roars at the familiar favorite. Steve’s never been one for rock music, but he can’t help but bob his head to the beat alongside Robin. He thinks he’d listen to every goddamn song ever created if it was coming out of your mouth.

You pull your hair back in your hands as you tap your leg rhythmically, seductively eying the crowd. Your bass hangs low by your waist and sways slightly. It’s obscene, everything is obscene when you look like that.

“I'm hot, sticky sweet

From my head to my feet, yeah”

It’s like you know what you’re doing. There’s a confidence that spills from you and he’s down like a dog. He feels like you could stomp his heart out with your black boots and he’d polish the blood off them with the shirt off his back afterwards.

Fuck he’s pathetic.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

The feeling right after finishing a set is always the best. You're all giddy, high off the adrenaline and slightly cocky. You could perform in front of just three people and you would all still feel like hot shit.

"That was awesome!"

Robin breaks through the crowd with Steve trailing behind her, promptly apologizing to the men she's shoving aside. The way she walks through the larger and gruff looking men as if it doesn't phase her amuses you. From what you've heard about Robin through Eddie, you've grown to admire her from afar. While you've always been too shy to admit it, you've been dying to meet her. You love your guys but you often find yourself desperately yearning for someone who you could connect with on a deeper level. You've known Robin to be deeply feminist. You've read some of the Zine's she makes alongside Nancy Wheeler, fighting against the patriarchy and the typical conservative views in Hawkins. You're aching to collaborate with them on one.

Which is why you immediately agree to her request to buy you a beer.

As she drags you over to the bar, Steve stays back with the group. Shooting a longing glance at you as you walk away as if he had something he wanted to say to you.

"Harrington strikes out once again."

Steve's head whips towards Eddie.

He starts fumbling over his words immediately. He knows from past conversations that you and Eddie have only ever been just friends. He has also, much to his dismay at first, grown to care for Eddie and their friendship. He wouldn't want to cross a line in trying to get to know you in a more than friendly way.

"I'm not striking out-I'm not even in the game."

The guys all burst out in boyish laughter, making Steve roll his eyes.

"Dude. You were practically drooling the entire set."

Gareth says this before mimicking Steves' starstruck face he saw in the crowd.

"It was hot in there!"

"Oh yeah, I bet it was."

Jeff and Gareth leave to get beers of their own which leaves Eddie and Steve.

After a moment Steve speaks up.

"Look man, I'm not going to try anything I know you guys are close I don't want-"

Eddie cuts him off.

"Steve. You gotta know that doesn't bug me right? If you decide you want to actually get in the game I won't stop you."

He leans in close, and in his most theatrical voice whispers "but know this, it isn't a game for the weak."

He loudly slaps his hands on Steve's shoulders before hollering over his shoulder.

"Buckley! How about a game of pool?"

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Your head whips over to find Eddie ready to drag Robin away for a game of pool. You would be disappointed, but you've already made plans with Robin to hang out sometime this week, and Steve is already walking over to you.

"Hey stranger, can I buy you a drink?"

He chuckles softly as he sits on the stool that used to belong to Robin. Who is loudly arguing over the rules with Eddie behind him.

"I'm pretty sure its supposed to be the other way around."

"Say's who?"

You both look at each other then. For the first time tonight you're able to really take him in. He has the prettiest eyes you've ever seen. Light brown, the way the lights in the bar reflect in them makes it seem like there's specs of gold in them. More than anything though, they look kind. It stirs something up within you. A feeling you so often try to push down. Then he smiles at you and you have to look away before you let the feeling come up any further.

You wave the bartender down and order a beer for Steve. Who nods in thanks before facing his body towards you.

"You were pretty amazing up there."

"I'm glad you enjoyed the show."

"Is that why they call you Sugar?"

You furrow your brows at him, not exactly sure what he means.

"The song?"

You go slightly red, embarrassed that you didn't catch onto what he meant. You feel silly. Guy's don't usually make you feel this way. They don't make your mind fog up. You feel tense, like you're hyper aware of how you're sitting and breathing and wondering if he can tell how fast your heart is beating.

"Oh! Right the song!"

He laughs at your response finding it endearing. He sees a slight crack in the persona you've put up all night. He wants to break it open and get to know who you are when you aren't on stage. He wants to know what kind of person you are alone, when everyone has gone and you're unwinding for the night.

"No the song worked its way into the set list later on but Eddie started calling me Sugar because he thinks it's ironic."

"Why would it be ironic?"

You laugh at this before you catch the look on his face and realize he's being serious.

"Well...I've been known to be a bit...blunt I guess."

He nods in understanding. He thinks this is his shot. If he can prove to you now that he's a worthy competitor in whatever game Eddie was talking about he might have a chance.

He gets the sense that you won't just agree to going out with him. He knows his reputation, knows the kind of person he was before. He thinks about it for a moment and wonders if he should dust off his old tactics but, that just doesn't feel right. He figures he should just be honest. Even if it makes him seem like a total dork in front of you.

"I thought they called you Sugar 'cause you're sweet."

He mumbles this and hides behind his beer as he takes a sip. You still heard him though. His compliment is corny, it resembles that of a dad joke and if he didn't seem so earnest about it you would have rolled your eyes.

But he's blushing and his eyes keep bouncing to your face to see your reaction and you can't help but send him a sweet smile. Not a flirty one, or a teasing one. A genuine smile that means he said something right.

"You think I'm sweet?"

You're indulging yourself. You've been called hot before. Sexy, confident. These compliments are nice sure, but nothing compares to the feeling of someone complimenting the way you are.

"Yeah, I mean Eddie talks about you all the time. Even from what I saw tonight, you just...you seem like a really warm person."

He can't remember the last time he was so nervous. He's sure he sounds like an idiot.

One look at your face and he stops worrying about all of it. He wishes he could have met you sooner. He thinks he could have avoided becoming such an asshole had you been around to not make him feel like an idiot for being so soft.

"Well aren't you a sweetheart Stevie."

He lets out a relieved breath, it sounds like a laugh.

"I don't know about that."

"Don't be so humble, I doubt I'm the first girl to tell you that."

"I hope you're the first girl who means it"

You realize now exactly what Eddie meant when he said Steve was a changed man. You've trained yourself to see men as one thing. Someone who doesn’t listen, doesn’t care, and doesn't feel anything other than lust and pride. When Steve says this, you realize he isn't the same guy he used to be. He's someone, who like you, wants to be seen.

God do you see him.

"If Eddie talks about me as much as you say he does, you should know I never lie."

"I'll take your word for it."

He lifts his cup to yours. You clink them together before taking a sip. Behind him, Robin gives out a triumphant yell as she scores a point.

"Do you wanna go watch them play?"

You don't want to, but you ask anyway. There is something at the back of your head telling you to look for an out. To walk away before you're in too deep.

Steve doesn't even glance behind him as he places his drink down and makes himself comfortable.

"I doubt I'm missing much."

You smile at him once more.

Later, when you're all leaving the bar. Steve, who barely nursed his one beer walks Robin to his car and glances over at you as you load your equipment into the back of Eddie's van.

Robin waves hastily at you "See you soon!"

You laugh and wave back before hopping into the passenger seat.

When you're all settled in Eddie speaks up.

"Sugar and Stevie sitting in a tree..."

"Shut up."

As he drives you home, you can't help but think that you wouldn't mind k-i-s-s-i-n-g in a tree with the sweet boy.

────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────────────

a/n: this was so much fun to write! If anyone would want to read more about Sugar and Steve let me know, I would love to make this an on-going series if y'all are interested:)

(also! all of the images used here are from Pinterest!)

[luvismenu]

09 — miss your touch ✎ ,, index

nsfw warnings: kissing.

note: she's not pregnant you guys dw 😭

wc: 3.4k

a week.

it's been a week since you've seen jungkook.

there were a few texts from him, asking if you were okay, but nothing beyond that. you answered with short replies; a yes or a no. sometimes, you asked how he was, and he'd say he's okay. but there’s a clear shift now, an invisible line drawn between you two.

a line you’d already crossed once but now seem to be retreating behind. back to where you started; strangers who just happened to share something.

you might’ve overreacted.

the thought stings, but yeah, maybe you did. he wasn’t even that late. you believe him when he said he had to deal with something. that something being a female, it’s not like he hid it. still, for reasons you can’t explain, just thinking about it makes you roll your eyes.

but he came straight to you after that.

and you know jungkook doesn’t lie. at least, that’s what you’ve learned about him in these two months.

two months.

it’s been two months, and yet here you are, acting as if he’s yours.

he isn’t.

and that’s good. you don’t want a relationship. you never did. relationships are nothing but unnecessary stress or drama. or at least, that’s what you keep telling yourself.

you can’t let jungkook fall into the “relationship” category. but calling him your casual fuck buddy feels off, because you’re both closer than that now. thinking of him as just a friend, though... that feels wrong. unnatural, even.

it’s so complicated.

it shouldn’t be. but it is.

sometimes, it feels like he doesn’t care. you wish he’d show more emotions, something more than his usual calm, nonchalant demeanor.

it feels like you’re the only one overthinking this while he’s just... fine. unaffected.

why do i feel like a wreck? is it just me? you wonder.

you don't wanna miss his touch.

you don't wanna miss him.

but you miss him more than you want to admit.

and now, you don’t even know how to approach him. things feel so awkward. you’re not sure how to cross that line you’ve suddenly drawn.

a week without seeing him feels like forever. especially when, for the past two months, he’s been part of your every day. whether it was texts or calls, he was there.

which is why you’re here. at the business expo everyone’s been working so hard for.

you don’t know much about it, just the bare minimum yoongi mentioned. apparently, other majors can attend as long as they say they’re interested in learning something.

as if. you would never attend something like this.

but for him? for jungkook?

you’re here anyway.

jungkook feels like a wreck.

he misses you.

a lot.

but at the same time, he thinks he needed that break. from everything. a week isn’t much, but it gave him enough space to clear his head.

iseul tried to contact him again. he blocked her number.

then she tried to approach him in person. he blocked her out of his life too.

he knows she’s probably furious, and maybe even hurt, but he couldn’t let her keep dragging him into the same cycle. not anymore.

“jungkook, i’m sorry, honey, i didn’t mean to snap at you that day—” she said, her voice was soft, almost pleading.

but he cut her off, firm and final, his words heavy but deliberate.

“i think it’s for the best if we move on now.”

he couldn’t believe those words came out of his mouth, but for once, he didn’t regret them. saying it felt like a weight had been lifted, one he’d been carrying far too long.

it wasn’t easy, but it was necessary.

now, though?

all he can think about is you.

you told him you were fine now. the conversations between you two since then have been brief, surface level, and awkward. it feels like a wall has been built, and though neither of you acknowledges it, it’s there.

jungkook wishes you’d talk to him soon, break through whatever tension is lingering.

when you told him to leave that day, he froze for a moment. it stung, but he understood. if you needed space, he’d give it to you. the last thing he wanted was to make things harder for you when you were already unwell.

but he feels awful.

all he did was add to your stress, and now the guilt is eating at him. he’s ready to do anything—absolutely anything—to make things right with you, to hear you say you forgive him.

yet, it feels strange.

why does he feel this way about you?

whatever this is between you, it was supposed to be no strings attached. that was the deal. you both made it clear from the beginning. but somewhere along the line, things shifted. you’re not just a hookup to him anymore. you’re so much more than that, though he’s not sure how to define it.

he wonders if he should set boundaries, remind himself of what this arrangement is supposed to be. but it’s hard—impossible, even. every time you’re together, he’s drawn to you. it’s like you’ve got this pull on him, and he doesn’t even want to resist it.

he doesn’t wanna miss your touch.

and right now?

right now, he just misses you. everything about you.

“jungkook, is that you?” a voice cuts through his thoughts, pulling him back to the present. jungkook turns, searching for the source of the familiar voice.

“ah, it is you!”

his lips twitch into a smile when he spots the person approaching him.

“jin hyung,” he says, a little surprised to see him.

jin strides up to him, pulling him into a firm hug and patting his back.

“took you long enough to show up,” jungkook says as they pull apart, raising a brow.

jin lets out a dramatic sigh. “had to deal with things, you know how it is,” he says, waving a hand before flashing a grin. “but hey, i’m here now, aren’t i?”

“yeah, you are,” jungkook replies, shaking his head lightly, though the smile on his face betrays the faint scolding in his tone.

“oh, come on,” jin says, feigning offense. “is that it? is that all the welcome i get? give me a proper one! i am one of the guests tonight, after all.”

his grin grows wider, and jungkook can’t help but chuckle at his hyung’s playful energy.

where is jungkook?

you're in the auditorium, surrounded by bustling booths, neatly arranged tables, and groups of students passionately discussing their projects. you didn’t realize business majors went all out for an expo like this.

you feel like yelling his name at the top of your lungs. you've been walking around, searching through a sea of unfamiliar faces, but you can’t find him anywhere.

“uh, hey,” you say, tapping a guy’s shoulder, interrupting his conversation.

woah, this guy has really broad shoulders.

he turns around, and you’re momentarily taken aback. the man is tall, dressed in a suit that looks like it was tailored for him, glasses framing his handsome face, and hair styled perfectly.

“yes?” he asks, polite but slightly curious.

you hesitate, then decide to go for it. “do you know where i can find jungkook? i mean, jeon jungkook? he’s supposed to be here somewhere,” you say, unsure if he even knows who jungkook is. but you’re desperate now.

his lips curl into a small smile. “why, of course. i was just speaking with him a few minutes ago. he excused himself to use the restroom, so he should be back shortly.”

“thank you,” you reply quickly, already preparing to make your way toward the direction of the restrooms. maybe, just maybe, you’ll bump into him as he’s walking back.

“are you one of his friends?” the man asks suddenly, stopping you from taking a step forward.

you glance at him, unsure how to respond. “uh... yes, kinda. sure,” you say awkwardly. you catch the faint arch of his brow, as if your answer only piqued his curiosity more.

why didn’t i just say yes? you mentally scold yourself, feeling ridiculous.

clearing your throat, you quickly excuse yourself.

"excuse me,” you mumble before turning and walking away, hoping the restroom isn’t far and jungkook will finally appear.

you walk through the rows of booths, still scanning the area for any sign of jungkook. the loud chatter of students and the hum of discussions fill the air, but all you can focus on is the thought of finding him.

as you near the restrooms, you catch a glimpse of a familiar figure standing by the entrance, hands stuffed in his pockets, his posture relaxed yet somehow tense.

it’s him.

your heart skips a beat, and you can’t help the small sigh of relief that escapes you. he looks as good as ever, effortlessly drawing your eyes to him. he’s wearing a sharp black suit that fits him perfectly, making him look every bit as important as you’re sure he is. he must be a key figure in this expo, you think.

all you know is that he’s supposed to give some kind of presentation. that’s it. nothing more. you didn’t bother to find out the details because, honestly, none of it matters to you.

all you want right now is to see him.

you walk towards him, taking slow steps, unsure how to act. you haven't seen him in what feels like forever, and all that awkward tension you’ve been trying to ignore creeps back up.

when he notices you, his eyes widen for just a second before a small smile breaks across his face. it’s a smile you haven’t seen in a while.

“hey,” he greets you.

you nod, trying to keep your cool despite the rush of emotions. “hi,” you say, feeling your heart race. you look at him, searching his face for any clue about how he’s been, but you can't tell much.

“i didn’t think you’d show up,” he admits, his gaze flickering over you. “thought you were gonna skip it.”

“just wanted to see what this is all about.” you say, trying to sound casual

he chuckles softly, his eyesglancing down. “didn’t expect you to be interested in this stuff.”

“well, i’m not,” you say, feeling the need to explain yourself. “but i wanted to see you. jungkook.”

there’s a brief moment of silence as his expression shifts, and you can’t tell if he’s surprised or if he’s just been waiting for you to say something. his eyes meet yours, and there’s an intensity there that makes you second guess every word you just said.

“i’ve been meaning to talk to you,” he says quietly, stepping a little closer. “i know things have been... off. and honestly—”

loud chatter in the background interrupts him, making both of you exchange a quick glance before he speaks up again.

“follow me.”

you follow him without thinking. the sound of people fading away as you walk through the crowd. he leads you to what feels like an empty lecture hall, making sure to lock the door behind you. you stand there, waiting for him to speak, the quiet now heavy between you two.

“i know things have been different recently,” he starts again, his voice soft. “and i honestly don’t know why...” he sighs. “but i want to apologize for that day. i’m really sorry.”

you swallow, trying to steady yourself. “i forgive you,” you say, your voice steady, but there's still an uncertainty in your chest.

“really?” he looks at you, his gaze searching yours for some kind of reassurance.

“yeah,” you nod, “i was just sick and i guess i overreacted a little, i’m sorry for that.”

he shakes his head quickly. “you didn’t. you didn’t overreact.”

a quiet but heavy silence fills the space between you both.

“so, uh, cool event,” you say, trying to break the tension.

“don’t act like you care,” jungkook smiles, the familiar smirk finally making its way onto his face.

you smile too, shrugging lightly. “yeah, i don’t.”

there’s another brief silence. you’re not sure what to say next, the awkwardness still lingering in the air. what if he’s going to end things? what if he’s had enough? what if.

“jungkook, i—”

his lips are on yours before you can even finish your sentence. the kiss catches you off guard, but his arms wrap tightly around your waist, pulling you in, and any hesitation melts away. his warmth seeps into you, grounding you in the moment as his lips move against yours with a desperate sort of tenderness.

you don’t pull back. instead, you let yourself fall into it, let him guide you. the kiss deepens, and with it, the questions and uncertainties that had been weighing you down dissolve, replaced by the overwhelming feeling of him. here, now, with you.

when you finally pull back, your chest heaves as you gasp for air. your mind is racing, your heart pounding in your chest. you don’t know how to respond. a part of you wants to spill everything; how much you’ve missed him, how unbearable the distance has been, how empty you’ve felt without his touch. but the words catch in your throat, like they're stuck somewhere.

“i’m sorry, i…” he begins, his voice barely above a whisper. his hands don’t leave your waist, holding you close as if afraid you might slip away. “i missed you.”

those three words hit harder than you expect, stirring something deep inside you. warmth spreads through your chest, a quiet comfort you didn’t realize you’d been craving.

it’s simple, almost too simple, but it feels like it’s enough. like it’s the answer to everything that’s been weighing on your heart; the confusion, the space, the silence between you two. suddenly, none of it matters.

“you missed me?” you ask softly, your voice trembling just slightly. it’s as if you need to hear him say it again, to be sure you’re not imagining it.

he nods, his eyes locked on yours. his voice is gentle. “yeah, i did.”

you stare at each other for a moment, the air between you thick with many unspoken feelings. then, without thinking, you lean in, closing the distance as your lips find his. your arms wrapping around his neck as if pulling him closer could erase all the time you spent apart. he responds immediately, his lips pressing against yours with equal fervor, like he’s been waiting for this.

your right leg slides up instinctively, brushing against his hip, and he understands your silent request. his hands move to your thigh, gripping it firmly as he lifts you effortlessly. your legs wrap around his waist, and his strong hands shift to cup your ass, holding you securely against him. the closeness sends a rush of heat through you, your bodies fitting together perfectly.

the kiss deepens, his tongue teasing against your lips until you part them, granting him access. his tongue brushes against yours, slow and deliberate, sending a wave of warmth straight to your core. you hum softly into the kiss, the sound vibrating between you, and his grip on you tightens.

he places you on the nearby desk, his lips never leaving yours. his hands grip your waist, keeping you steady. your fingers slide down to his chest, gently gripping his shirt as if holding on for balance. he pulls back for a brief moment, giving you both a chance to catch your breath.

without hesitation, he shrugs off his blazer, carelessly tossing it to the floor. the sound of it hitting the ground barely registers as his hands return to you, cupping your face with a tenderness that contrasts the heat between you. his lips find yours again, urgent yet soft, and you let him take control, your hands moving to cup his face too.

your legs wrap around his hips, pulling him closer, and you can feel his soft bulge pressing against you. the sensation is enough to make your breath hitch, and you instinctively tilt your hips toward him, craving more of the pressure.

he pulls back slightly, his lips brushing against yours as he murmurs, “you drive me crazy.”

oh fuck.

“what—” you start to ask, but the sound of knocking interrupts you.

both of your heads snap toward the door, your bodies tense.

“jungkook!? you in there?” a familiar voice calls out, loud and clear.

jungkook immediately recognizes it and clears his throat, trying to steady his voice. “yes! jin hyung, i’m here.”

“i’m about to give my speech, so you better be there asap!” jin’s voice is full of its usual dramatic flair. “i came all the way here for this moment, and i don’t want you to miss my glory.”

you hear his footsteps retreating, his words lingering in the air.

jungkook exhales, his head leaning slightly forward until it rests against your forehead. his hands remain on your waist, his touch warm, grounding you in a moment that feels anything but steady. he mumbles under his breath, almost as if he’s scolding himself. “of all the times…”

your heart races, and your mind spins in circles. what does he mean by you drive him crazy? the weight of those words presses down on you, heavy and confusing.

“jungkook,” you start, your voice barely above a whisper. “i think you should go.”

he lifts his head to look at you, his brows furrowing slightly. the regret in his eyes is unmistakable.

maybe i shouldn’t have said that. he thinks as he takes a small step back, creating a gap between you that suddenly feels too wide.

“are you going to stay?” he asks cautiously, his voice softer now.

you open your mouth to answer but hesitate. you don’t know what to say. this was never part of your plan. all you wanted was to see him, to tell him you were sorry too. but now, standing here with him, everything feels so much more complicated.

“___,” he says your name gently, snapping you out of your daze. your gaze meets his, and he blinks at you, his expression searching.

“i know things have changed between us, and—”

“what do you mean? we’re fine, though,” you cut him off quickly, the words spilling out as if saying them will make them true.

he lets out a heavy sigh, “are we?”

the question catches you off guard. your frown deepens as uncertainty settles in your chest.

are we?

your silence answers for you, and he notices. he always notices.

“it’s okay,” he says softly, almost like he’s trying to soothe you. “i don’t know how to deal with it either.” he pauses, his voice quieter. “i don’t know what we are right now.”

what are we?

the words echo in your mind, and you hate how much they hurt. it wasn’t supposed to be like this. you never wanted it to turn into this mess.

“i think…” you start, and his eyes are on you immediately, waiting, hoping you’ll say something that will make this all easier.

“...i should go.”

you don’t miss the way his shoulders drop just slightly, the smallest sign of defeat. you hesitate for a moment before sliding off the desk, your movements stiff and uncertain.

you gulp, forcing yourself to meet his gaze one last time. “good luck with your presentation,” you say softly. you linger for a second, watching him, hoping he’ll say something to stop you. but all he does is nod, his response quiet and unreadable.

with a deep breath, you turn around and walk toward the door. every step feels heavier than the last.

behind you, jungkook exhales a long, weary sigh, running a hand through his hair.

did i mess it up? he wonders, his chest tightening with something he doesn’t know how to name.

a/n: um haha.... jin with glasses yay!! 🏃🏻‍♀️

📜 series taglist: @deepikhaprakash @rjooniesdimples @wombatkitten127 @hoseokteardrop

📜 permanent taglist: @lovieku @deluluisdasolulu @ddanasjk @onlyforyoukook @diamondjeon @nnybtitts08 @lil0u0 @butnotmontana @fr0ggieth1nk @minimoninini @whoa-jo @lola75111 @iswearimover5feetall @rispwr @genevieveeeee @kookoo-kachoo @junecat18 @iheartchanelle @internetrando64 @jkvias @134340-kr @mar-lo-pap @fluttershypoo @kyuupii @https-mei @elinaki92 @jungkookmyoneandonlybaby @winterbeartaehyungbestboy @jaykay-world @jmscaffeine @libra04 @beigerin @nikidream24 @svnbangtansworld @mimi1097

[starlightkun]

finders keepers ⇢ teaser 2

⇢ teaser word count: 948 | full fic: 37.8k total (22.7k & 15.1k) ⇢ genre: sci-fi/science fantasy au, soulmate au, alien!jungwoo, human!reader, slow burn, fluff and angst ⇢ warnings: blood/injury mentions (but like, alien blood, if that makes a difference?), a couple needle/injection mentions, if u get secondhand embarrassment this one might hurt in places, a couple crude jokes about alien stuff iykwim (reader’s friends r kind of the worst), this fic is just a rlly sweet soulmate au i swear idk why these tags look horrendous 😭 ⇢ extra info: this will be released in two parts bc of tumblr’s 1000-block limit that was put in place to hurt me personally :)) BUT both parts will be released on the same day ⇢ estimated release: saturday, november 30, 2024, 3:00 p.m. eastern time (sign up for my taglist here)

The screen of your phone lit up from where it sat on the dashboard of Jungwoo’s spaceship, and you immediately grabbed it. It was Donghyuck, and at this point, you would’ve taken your bestie ‘SPAM LIKELY’ to get you out of here.

“Hey, it’s Hyuck, you got it here?” You asked Jungwoo, already on your feet.

“Yes, I’ll be okay,” Jungwoo confirmed, eyes momentarily leaving the screen to meet yours.

You clambered out of the hatch with haste, taking off into the trees. Hastily sending Donghyuck a text that you’d call him back in a minute, you practically bolted back up the cliffside to get to the road before doing just that.

Hyuck picked up before it could even ring once, not wasting any time, “Hey, how’s our pet alien?”

“He has a name,” you retorted, still out of breath.

“He doesn’t seem to mind when I call him that.”

“He probably doesn’t understand how derogatory it could be. His language might not have a direct equivalent for the concept.”

“Yeah, whatever, how is he?”

“Fine. All of his wounds have healed.”

Your friend’s tone immediately shifted. “You sound weird. What’s going on?”

“Nothing!” You insisted.

“Y/N.”

“Promise not to tell anyone?”

“Sure.”

And so after explaining your situation to Donghyuck to the best of your ability, you waited with bated breath for his response.

“Oh my God, he’s going to lay his eggs in you,” he gasped.

“Hyuck! Gross!” You hissed, half-ready to hang up right then.

“I’ve seen enough alien movies to know where this is going.”

“Or watched too much weird porn.”

“You didn’t laugh at my joke, clearly you’re in crisis, sorry.” His apology sounded sincere.

You sighed, staring down into the trees below you that you knew contained a spaceship and spaceman that weren’t from here, that didn’t belong here. “I mean, he’s still fixing his ship to leave…”

“What if he plans on abducting you and taking you with him?”

“Stop it!” You scolded him again. “Jungwoo wouldn’t do that.”

“You seriously think he’ll just leave his mate behind?”

“You are way too comfortable saying that word.”

“This is not about my nighttime proclivities.”

“If I told him to, yeah, I think he would. He’s been super respectful, all things considered.”

“Okay… whatever…”

You were worried. Jungwoo had continued fixing his ship, but with each passing day, you swore he was looking worse again. He said his wounds had completely healed inside and out, but the pallor of his skin didn’t look right, he was moving slower again, and he didn’t eat as much at meals. You took a risk and took him there during the day today, not wanting to risk drawing out his stay on Earth any longer than necessary.

Just getting him down to the ship today was perilous, as he tripped going down the last of the hillside. A rock had cut his arm, thankfully not very deep, but the sight of the deep blue blood did nothing to calm your anxious mind. He let you take a second to use a first aid kit in the ship on him, but then was right back to business as usual, fixing his ship.

“How’s it coming along?” You asked, hovering over him worriedly as he sat on the floor, working on a panel under the control console.

“It’s almost done,” he informed you quietly.

“Jungwoo, you don’t look okay.”

“I’m fine.”

“Is it the hydrogen? Or something else that you can’t get on Earth?” You went to press the back of your hand to his forehead. It was sticky with sweat, but simultaneously cold and clammy. “Shit, dude, you feel awful.”

“I’m—I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I just need to get back to-to Galaria.”

“Okay, yeah,” you nodded. “Let’s get you back. You said it’s almost done. What else do you need?”

“One of your friends is a mechanic?”

“Yeah, Yuta. He fixes cars.” You were slightly alarmed that he apparently couldn’t remember which one.

Jungwoo held out a long, thin black tube to you. “Could you ask him if he has something like this? Twice as long?”

“Of course! I'll go right now!” You took the tube from him. “You stay right here. Rest, okay?”

He nodded, leaning against the panel and shutting his eyes.

You ran into Yuta’s auto shop, skidding to a stop and nearly crashing into a bench and toolbox, drawing the attention of everyone in the shop. Every head whipped over to look at you, and Yuta pushed himself out from under a truck on the far side of the shop.

“Yuta!” You dashed over to him, ignoring the attempts at conversation from his coworkers as you ran by them.

“Off-limits, assholes!” Yuta yelled back at them before focusing on you again, grabbing a rag to wipe his hands off. “Y/N, what are you doing here?”

“It’s Jungwoo, he needs something like this, but double the length.” You held the tube out to him. “Do you have anything like it? I’ll pay for it.”

Yuta inspected it with a furrowed brow, and you dropped your voice even lower as the sounds of the auto shop rose again.

“Please, he’s-he’s really not doing well. I don’t know how much longer he can be here, Yuta. Something about Earth, it’s not good for him. I’m really worried.”

“Yeah, I would be if I were you.” Yuta handed the tube back to you, then crossed his arms over his chest. “I gave him a part just like that two days ago. He said it was the last piece he needed.”

“What?!” Your heart fell to the pit of your stomach.

“I gave him a new brake hose two days ago. Unless he blew it up again, this isn’t it.”

“I’ve got to go.” You took off towards the door of the garage. “Bye, Yuta! Thanks!”

“See you around!”

TEASER TAGLIST

@bee-the-loser @ppddpjdr @tearinka @yoursyuno @yutasputa69 @winkeuu

[sammysbrokenheart]

Meet Cute

This is part 3 of the Hey Angel stories.

Part 1

Part 2

Summary: The day you and Billie met and instantly fell into like.

Warning: no warning just fluff ♡♡♡

"Y/N why don't we go to that cute coffee shop on campus? Your usual spot is so out of your way," Maya said while you were picking up your car keys.

You internally rolled your eyes.

"Maya... I moved all this way because of you. Let me have this last piece of normalcy why do you want me to just change everything," you argued with your angel. You've spoken to your friends and none of their angels were this overbearing and annoying.

"Why are you so annoying?" you said walking out of your apartment door.

"You know I'm right," Maya said, " you are late to class every single day because of this little detour. You can go on the weekend rather."

You got into your car without saying a word and drove to campus. You hated when Maya was right.

The day was beautiful. Living on your owm gave you the opportunity to stop every once in a while and smell the roses. Yes, you call Maya annoying for pushing you to move out, but ever since the move you've been able to breathe. You never thought that living an hour away from you parents would bring you so much joy and freedom. You also never thought that living so far away from your boyfriend would bring you so much joy too.

You met Eric in your sophomore year of high school. His mother was best friends with your mother so they just set you guys up. You didn't like him at first, but he fell in love immediately. You constantly try to match his energy, but after a year of dating you grew tired and annoyed of him. So when Maya suggested to closest furthest option to go to you took it. He was bawling into your shoulder when you told him, it was gross.

You were so lost in thought that you were shocked when you were hit with the delicious smell of coffee.

You stepped into the cute little coffee shop, it was a little busy, but not crowded. Your classmates would rave about this place and how delicious the breakfast bagels are, so that was the first thing you wanted to try.

You patiently stood in line playing with your phone until you heard someone call for the next customer. You quickly moved to the front and ordered your coffee and bagel.

"Name?" the cashier asked and you told him your name. After you paid you moved to the side and sat at the table next to the big window.

The garden outside was beautiful, you took out your phone and took a picture.

"Y/N!" you heard your name and quickly moved to the retrieval area.

You froze in place. This was not the same person who took your order. You were immediately enamored with her piercing blue eyes. Her black hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail. She was probably the most beautiful girl you have ever seen. Billie her nametag read.

You reached out to grab your drink and noticed your bagel wasn't there.

"Uh... Billie," you started. You noticed her blink as if she was snapped out of a trance, weird, you wondered what had her so lost in thought.

"Yeah Y/N?" she said and you felt goosebumps appear on your arms, you don't recall your name ever sounding so good, weird.

"I ordered a bagel too..." you said.

"Oh yeah fuck sorry," she went to the back and came back with a box that read breakfast bagel for Y/N. You reached out to take it and your hands touched hers. Neither of you made an attempt to move.

"Billie! Come get the next order!" a voice broke up free from whatever took over us.

"Sorry," she said.

"It's fine... See you around?" you said taking your drink and bagel, bolting out of the shop.

Your took a deep breath when you got outside. You felt out of break and energetic at the same time.

"What was that?" you heard Maya's voice in your ear, but you brushed it off.

It was nothing. It was.

[an-au-blog]

modern academic au where viktor just can't get his peace and quiet in the library. Because every time he tries to study, there's this damned himbo that trails him around asking him what he's researching with a big goofy smile. It's always "do you want me to carry your books" and "oh I haven't read that one yet, is it good," and so on and so forth. And in his mind, it's like "just because I'm using a cain doesn't mean I need your help, and yeah of course you haven't read it, you're probably in with some sports scholarship or whatever" but he never voices it. He's the headmaster's portage and he can't go around being rude to random people in the library. Plus, it's not like the other man stays too long, he goes to classes and secludes himself to study as well.

Around exam season, the man stopped hanging off his arm so much, they didn't cross paths in the library or in the halls, but once or twice, Viktor would see him with books about physics, electronics and other things Viktor had been researching before. He never approached him, but he was a bit amused at the seriousness in his expression while he was scribbling something in his notebooks.

If the man WAS on a sports scholarship, perhaps he was reading those books to find a way to talk to Viktor more and in all honesty, it would have been the most someone had done to get to flirt with him, so what if he thought it was a little sweet... it wasn't as if he would expect though. No. His studies were far too important to be put on the back burner for a guy who thought a bone crushing hug (that usually lasts too long for it to be just friendly) was an adequate way to greet an acquaintance.

One day, Viktor found a notebook with research that could be groundbreaking one day. It was past closing hours for the academy, but he had keys so he was left to read all the notes throughout the whole night and even into the day. The neat handwriting, the diagrams, the brilliant ideas... whoever this person was, he was flowing in potential. And when Viktor turned each page he couldn't help but smile to himself, how silly and a bit narcissistic, to sign your name on each of them. Jayce Talis, Jayce Talis, Jace Talis, Jayce Talis, each page, just Jayce Talis, Jayce-

"Hey!"

A familiar voice called for him. Out of breath and disheveled, stood the man who had been trailing him around.

"Oh, I'm so glad I found it- I mean you-" He sagged with relief. But when his eyes flickered from the notes to Viktor and back, he seemed to get a bit sheepish. "I thought I lost them." A whisper to himself before he snapped his eyes back to Viktor. "Ah, uh... you read all of them?"

And there he was, flirting with the same lame excuse, Viktor thought.

"Yes," he decided to humour him a bit. Closing the book and pulling it away from the other. "I was hoping to return it to it's owner, maybe discuss some of the ideas in it."

The man didn't seem to take the hint as he sat across from him with a small smile. "Yeah? So you don't think it's an obnoxious or ridiculous idea?"

"Ridiculous? Perhaps a bit, but it is not obnoxious to want natural resources of this quantity to produce -" He stopped himself, this random guy didn't need to hear it. "Nevermind, you don't need to hear that." Viktor was ready to stand up until he felt a hand reach for his to make him stay.

"No, no! I really want to hear it! Every professor I've tried showing my research to has told me I'm being unrealistic. But I think that with enough time, and effort, it's possible!" His face was glowing. "I mean as far as energy sources go, this could save much for both the people and companies. See- " grabbed one of the notebooks and started flipping through it, "right here, I tried to make a model of-"

"Jayce?" Viktor asked in disbelief.

The other man looked up at him with that dumb smile again. "Yes?"

"Jayce Talis...?"

Jayce tilted his head in question. "Yes?" He asked with more hesitance.

"You are Jayce Talis?" Viktor lifted up the notebook, pointing at the place where the name was signed.

"Did I not introduce myself the first time we met?"

"No!"

Jayce laughed a little awkward chuckle and it made Viktor's chest constrict. With anger, probably...

"Well, I'm sorry, um. My name is Jayce." He reached his hand out for a shake. "Nice to meet you."

"Viktor." He took it. "Likewise." And he found himself meaning it.

[luvtonique]

Earlier today, a girl shot me a DM thanking me for not listening to people saying Melodi's body shape is unrealistic or fetishy and choosing to double down on her being a top-heavy P-shaped anorexic lanky long-armed twig lady.

She said, I quote, "I look like that IRL, and have the back problems and eating disorders to prove it. I have gigantomastia and have to get breast reduction surgeries to keep them in check [she described a lot of medical problems that come with the tissue growing too much here, too, but I cut it out cause it's pretty visceral]. I saw your post saying you're not intentionally putting representation in your game [like a year old post at this point] and this isn't about representation, it's just something that made me feel good about myself knowing someone finds my weird body shape attractive."

I told her that she is loved, and thanked her, and said that I hope that she can live a fulfilling and good life despite her disease.

She said "Same to you about your arthritis!" and that was that.

Little moments like that are why I make art and why I don't just do "what sells." I was willing to give up a huge portion of my fanbase by not flocking to Twitter in 2018 and staying here on this weird site full of people who regularly annoy me because it's my fuckin home. I was willing to leave the brony fandom after massive success in it. I am willing to receive hate-reviews from people saying my characters are "too sexualized" or that they "don't have enough identity-representation."

When people come along to tell me that something I'm doing made them happy or feel appreciated and loved, or that I helped make the hard times worth it for them, that's what really matters to me. Not filling quotas, not making characters with relatable social issues, not shoving politics or ideologies into my game to "send a message," but just those moments where the occasional person comes along and thanks me for never caving to social norms and continuing to just do the weird shit I love doing.

I love you, weird body shape girls.

Just because God hit "Random" on your body shape doesn't mean you're ugly, weird, gross or unwanted.

You're bootiful.

Also I just gotta be a snide bitch at the last line because this is Jay we're talking about. "But Jay! You'd get SO MANY MORE people coming to you and thanking you if you PUT SOME REPRESENTATION-QUOTA CHARACTERS IN YOUR GAME TO BAIT THEM OUT, LITERALLY SLAPPING THEM IN JUST TO GET BROWNIE POINTS AND INTERNET HUGS AND ACTING LIKE THAT MAKES YOU A GOOD PERSON."

That shit isn't genuine and your sense of feeling represented by disingenuous ideology-bait is as fake and fleeting as seeing a corporation put up a pride flag on their profile in February. They are using you to sell their product and you're praising them for it. I will never put a character into any work I create with the intention of representing a group of people or an ideological belief, because my characters are fictional storytelling devices, not strawmen who serve as a walking wikipedia article for a culture that the media has deemed an oppressed minority group to talk down to the audience instead of talking to the other characters.

[saintsenara]

Do you think there is parallel between Peter and ron.

Fandom does Peter wrong. That is a fact. He is either absent or is present just for comic relief or is pure evil. But all those characterisation are simply cartoonish. As if written by a person who is living in la la land...

Peter, just like Lupin, we only know major things about him. But like not many people see lupin as a gray shade character only a kind fluffy guy, Peter is polarised to the bad one....

Ron similarly is often given the last place if how much of a good friend each person in golden trio was to be questioned. And that is a tragedy in itself because atleast for Ron we have so much material...

Infact for me, Ron will always be a person who has bigger heart than jkr's favorite mary sue-Lily Evans. She did what any good mother should do. But fandom never stops going on and on about it Or even Harry's sacrifice at the end is so much singed about...but then we have Ron, an 11 year kid who for the sake of defeating voldy, told his new Friends to leave him. He sacrificed himself at 11. Everyone was sure that he is risking his life...but no one i see ever gushes about that act of bravery. It is always about one Potter Or the other.

Peter too. I mean he won't have been friends with the other three for 10 years if they just tolerated him and vice versa. But making him evil kr stupid kr dumb Or hideous to look at in his childhood or teen years is like taking all his personality away and giving us just a shell of a person...

He did become animagi at 15 and that is quite a commendable magic. He is cunning to pull up his stunt as a spy....

Like war as sirius describes in gof is so dark and scary. And people forgot that big things make a person change.

Ron on the other hand had done quite a lot in his life time but often he is found to be judged for leaving his friends.

I believe that the only difference between them is that ron recognised his faults and made correction. Meanwhile pettigrew simply kept on walking on the wrong path he chose....

What do you think on this..?

thank you very much for the ask, pal!

i don't think this entirely works. ron gets cast by the fandom as a gluttonous moron who's also a bad friend primarily on account of the films - and as a bad person by people who want to ship hermione with other people but don't have the nerve to do this in a complex or interesting way - but the text never suggests that either harry or hermione think of him as being in last place in the trio.

indeed, when harry does think of himself as better than ron - when ron gets made a prefect over him in order of the phoenix - he feels horrible for his brief flash of jealousy and soon gets over it. on other occasions when he notes something about himself which could be seen as superior to ron - when he notes that ron got no outstandings at owl, for example - harry doesn't actually force a comparison which is designed to position ron below him. they end up doing the same newts, which is what harry - who sees ron as his partner in crime - cares about.

ron is also demonstrably harry's best friend, and harry tends to enable him and automatically side with him in conflict - it's an example of great self-growth that he doesn't cut hermione off in half-blood prince when ron does, since he's perfectly happy to do so in prisoner of azkaban. but he's also demonstrably hermione's best friend too. harry's relationship with her is, as he says, sibling-like, which doesn't just mean that it's not romantic, but that it contains a "you can't choose your family" vibe - he loves her fiercely, but he also finds her exasperating in a way ron doesn't, doesn't make any real effort to learn about her interests or include her in his, and is often quite harsh to her. ron - in contrast - does see his relationship with her as one of active choice.

this is why i never really like the idea that the trio and the marauders are meant to be parallels. on the surface, ron and harry should be the equivalent of james and sirius and hermione should be remus...

but they're not, because the clear dynamic of the marauders in canon is that they were a group centred around james. all three of sirius, remus, and peter clearly understood james as their best friend, and their relationships among themselves primarily depend on their understanding of their and the others' relationship to james. there is - i think - a credible case to be made that, if james was removed from the picture entirely, but not in a way that caused the profound trauma of the canon timeline [if he just moved away with lily, for example], the remaining three would drift apart.

james - of course - only understood sirius as his equal, his brother. peter is obviously someone he considered inferior to the two of them - albeit in a fond way, rather than a cruel one. he clearly thinks of him the way a teenager might think of their pre-teen sibling - someone you love and are happy to include in your social life if they do what you want, someone you also don't want to embarrass you in front of your cool teenage friends by letting them do what they want instead of following your instructions. remus is clearly someone he didn't think of as quite so socially inferior to him, but he also still seems to have understood him as peripheral to his and sirius' rampant codependence.

the trio doesn't have anything like this dynamic. even though harry is narratively unequal to ron and hermione - he is their leader, they are his disciples - the relationships across the three of them [harry's active choice to be friends with ron, harry's feeling that hermione is his sister; ron's active choice to be friends with hermione, his pseudo-familial relationship with harry] are much more equal than those among the marauders.

what i have been convinced by, however, is @whinlatter's belief that the best parallel for peter in the series is ginny:

[buckysgrace]

Hi lovely, maybe Billy gets a little drunk and confesses his feelings to a girl he’s on again/off again with. The only reason he’s been on again/ off again with her is because he was developing feelings for her and it scared him so now that he’s drunk it all comes spilling out 😭

Only when you have time love x

Thank you for requesting (and being patient with me lmao) <3

It had been a week since you had last seen Billy. A full week of not hearing his voice, feeling his touch. You missed him, but you weren't going to let yourself be so available this time.

You were just friends. That was it. Maybe a little bit more here and there, but he had proven that he didn't really care about you. Not in the same way you cared about him.

And it was miserable. Even if it was the right thing to do. It felt like your heart had been crushed, split into tiny little pieces. Just another girl on Billy's notch. And it seemed like he had already moved on, forgotten about you.

The sound of the window rattling drew your attention, snapping you away from your gaze on the ceiling as you pulled your headphones off of your ears. You watched, heart stalling in fear for a moment as someone pulled themselves inside. You faltered when you realized who it was.

"What are you doing?" You hissed, gaping in disbelief at the hard way Billy hit the floor. You rushed over, listening to the way he groaned as he rolled onto his side, rubbing his palms over his knees.

"Wanted to see you." His words were slurred, blue eyes hazy as a lazy smile formed on his lips. He was drunk. Definitely. You could smell the alcohol clinging to his skin.

"You couldn't call like a normal person?" You asked him seriously, shaking your head as you moved your arms around his torso.

"Didn't feel right." He mumbled tiredly, going dead weight in your arms as you tried to lift him. You grunted, stumbling before you set him back onto the ground.

"Are you alright in there?" Your mom’s voice rang from outside the door, making your veins freeze over as you quickly clamped a palm over Billy’s mouth before he could reply.

"I'm fine, mom!" You yelled back, whining at the frantic tone in your voice, "I just tripped is all. I'm okay though. Sorry for waking you up!"

"Do you need anything?" She asked, "It sounded like it hurt." She added as you cringed at the way Billy began to lick your skin. He chuckled, looking up at you in amusement as you wiped your hand dry on your pajama shorts.

"Uh," You paused, trying to keep Billy's hands to himself, "No. I'm okay, really. Have a good night!" You yelled at her, wincing as you listened to the sound of her footsteps retreating.

Billy rested his head against your hip, sighing deeply as his eyes fluttered shut. You shook your head, not wanting him to pass out on your floor.

"You scared the shit out of me." You told him seriously, positioning his feet onto the floor better before you forced him to stand this time.

"I knocked on your window," He groaned, "It's a long ways up." He gestured quickly towards the window before you shifted his arm over your shoulders, trying to keep him supported.

"You could've killed yourself." You told him seriously, feeling warm and out of breath by the time you got him to your bed. He collapsed, arms and legs outstretched as you tugged his boots off of his feet. You didn’t want your bed to get too dirty.

"But I didn't," He replied with a smirk, looking all cool and collected again, "Pretty damn cool if you ask me." He grinned as he rested his hands behind his head, his shirt lifting over his toned stomach in the process. You turned away, doing your best not to stare.

"Not cool at all," You argued back, "What are you doing here?" You asked him curiously, raising your eyebrows as he slowly inspected your room. Then turned back to you.

"I needed to see you." He mumbled softly, eyes softening as he continued to stare at you. You breathed in deeply, not daring to look away.

"Why?" You asked him softly, trying not to get defensive. Or angry. You didn't want to snap at him but you were still bitter. You didn't like feeling like you were able to be tossed away so easily.

“I missed you,” He slurred out finally, “Like a lot.” He added as he moved his palms to his sides slowly pushing himself up into a sitting position. Your heart hammered roughly inside of your chest from his words, despite his previous actions.

“You’ve been ignoring me.” You stated slowly, watching the way he traveled his eyes back towards the floor. You breathed in deeply, wondering if he would even answer you. Or if he would think you could go back to how things were. But you couldn't, not again. You didn't want to be ignored by him. It was killing you.

“I like you,” He mumbled as he brought his eyes back towards you, “A lot. You’re really pretty. And funny. And I hate when you’re around other guys.” He continued to speak underneath his breath, almost whispering it to you. Like it was some big secret.

“Oh.” You spoke in surprise, eyes widening as you tried to gain sense of what he had said. You hadn't expected that. Not at all.

“Yeah.” He pushed his fingers through his hair, his lips forming into a thin frown as he watched you for the longest time. You felt nervous suddenly.

“I like you a lot too,” You replied as you pressed your lips together, “And you’re also really pretty. But your humor is kinda dry.” You told him seriously, gaining a little grin from him.

"I'm sorry I ignored you." He said, his words still slurring as he fell back against your mattress. You scooted forward, leaning over to get a better look at him.

"I'll forgive you," You started, watching the way the blue in his eyes twinkled, "On one condition." You added, holding a single finger up. He cocked his eyebrows.

"And what is that?" He hummed softly, leaning forward high enough to kiss your fingertip before he fell back down onto your pillows. You grinned.

"You take me out to dinner and I pick the place," You told him, admiring how sparkly his teeth looked as he smiled at you, "And you pay. Then all is forgiven." You added with a little laugh, earning a nudge from him. Something in his eyes let you know that this would be a new page for both of you.

[fandom-hoarder]

There was a lot nice, but "sleazy jdm x Jared " got me so crazy. Please share.

🥰 Sleazy jdm x jared is loosely based on this post (and unbeknownst to me at the time, @supernaturalkickparty started one at the same time lol. I'm pretty sure hers is farther than mine though.😅)

“I just want to try it. It’s okay, right?” The kid looks at him, earnest and hopeful.

A little thrill goes through Jeff at the sight, like he’s found a four leaf clover; the kid’s a first timer.

“You said at Jensen’s if I ever wanted to try it, to come to you first. Remember?”

Suddenly Jeff realizes who this kid is. “Jared? Jensen’s friend Jared?”

He thinks of the pretty young blonde he’d dated a couple years ago, Donna Ackles, and her equally pretty son who had left for college shortly before Jeff had stopped dating his mom. Until he’d left, Jensen had had friends and teammates around to hang out a lot, one of whom had been Jared; Jeff hadn’t minded too much, except that it meant needing a bit more discretion whenever he had a client on the line. It had been inevitable that Jensen would figure out how Jeff made his real money, and although Jensen hadn’t ratted him out to his mom, it had also been inevitable that Donna would find out eventually.

But not before Jeff had done the responsible adult thing and taught Jensen and his friends about watching out for drug scams, and told them if they ever decided to do drugs, to come to him. He’d make sure they had a good first time. Jeff remembers how Jared had blushed just as much back then as he is now, and wonders if Jared had wanted to back then, too. But Jensen had gone off to school without taking him up on it, and Jared had stopped coming around—probably off at college himself—and then Donna had kicked Jeff out, and he had found himself a little rental on the other side of town and gotten used to the bachelor life again.

Jeff can’t get over the breadth of Jared’s shoulders now, or the sharpening of his jaw; but the dimples, and those delicate moles on his face, and those unique, fox-like eyes—those he remembers. He wonders how he didn’t recognize the kid before, but he must’ve grown about six inches in these last few years. Jeff remembers being able to see the crown of the kid’s head, and now they’re about even.

“Yeah, Jensen’s friend,” Jared answers, voice soft, blushing red now.

“Well, damn, kiddo, you sure filled out, didn’t you?” Jeff finds himself saying. “You did good coming to me.”

Jared perks up, still blushing, “I did?”

“Yeah, dude,” Jeff says, giving Jared’s shoulder a warm squeeze. “I’ll show you the ropes.”

Jeff has a few pre-rolled joints for easy selling, but he likes to make the first time an experience. It keeps them coming back, and he likes to think of himself as the wise old uncle type, with wisdom that must be passed on.

“Watch closely, son. We’ll have a practical exam later,” Jeff jokes.

Jared’s eyes don’t leave Jeff’s hands as he gets out a paper and fills it from his personal grinder, rolling it back and forth between his fingers until it’s just tight enough. When Jeff lifts it to his mouth to lick the gum edge, Jared stares intently at Jeff’s mouth, swallowing noticeably when his eyes flicker up and meet Jeff’s before skittering back down to his fingers closing up the joint and tapering the ends.

“You ever smoke anything before?” Jeff asks, pretty sure of the answer, holding up the doobie for Jared to get a look at his work.

“No, Sir,” Jared says again, taking it from him and examining it almost reverently.

Jeff can’t help grinning and replying in a flirtatious rumble, “Keep that ‘sir’ stuff up, son, I might just get used to it.”

Jared laughs like he thinks Jeff is teasing him, and Jeff just smiles enigmatically, brushing his fingers against Jared’s as he takes the joint back.

“If it’s your first time, I better start it up for you. But first: a little ambiance.” Jeff gets up and switches off the bright overhead light, reaches for the switch on the Budweiser & Bud Light sign above Jared’s head, and the room lights up in a purple combination of the red and blue lights. He drops back into his seat, snatches the joint from where he’d tucked it behind his ear, passes it around his fingers just for the showmanship, lights it up and takes a few short puffs, getting the cherry glowing nice and even before inhaling deeply and blowing it out in a casual ring. Holds the doobie up, savoring the flavor and watching the smoke ripple as he offers it over to Jared. Jeff thinks he feels Jared’s fingers shake as the kid pinches the tip of the joint and takes it from him. He watches Jared’s cheeks suck in as he hits it and hands it back, and they get three rotations in before Jeff realizes Jared isn’t blowing out any smoke.

“Hey, dude, you getting anything?”

“I don’t know, ”Jared admits, like the truth is painful. He looks sheepish, holding the joint out to Jeff like he’s been asked to give it back. Jeff can’t quite tell if he’s blushing anymore thanks to the bar light, and feels a little robbed.

“Here,” Jeff says, taking the joint and smoothly hopping the corner from his seat to the cushion right beside Jared. “I’ll hold it for you. Make sure you aren’t pinching it closed.”

Jared looks like he can’t believe this is happening, even as Jeff puts the tip of the joint between Jared’s open lips. Fingertips kissing Jared’s mouth, Jeff softly commands, “Suck.”

And Jared does, hard, cheeks sucking in again, cherry eating down the paper. A cloud of smoke bursts out as Jared immediately starts coughing from his first real hit, tears streaming from the corners of his eyes after a few barking coughs. Jeff can’t help but laugh, endeared, patting his back through the choking. “Relax, sweetheart. Don’t fight it. Just let it out.”

Jared finishes coughing and wipes his face and mouth with his shirt. Jeff lets his eyes travel the wide strip of stomach it reveals; the peak of hip bone above Jared’s basketball shorts; the hint of a treasure trail disappearing into his waistband. He drags his eyes back up when the shirt drops, and drinks in Jared’s sharp collarbone as he adjusts his clothes. “Sorry,” Jared says, not meeting Jeff’s eyes.

“S’alright, kid,” Jeff says, easy, grinning. His hand is still on Jared’s back, and he rubs in a circle before pulling back to rest his arm on the back of the couch behind Jared. “Happens to the best of us.” And the coughing will help the kid catch up his buzz, since he hadn’t actually gotten any yet. “You just need to learn not to take it so hard.”

[genderqueerdykes]

Same anon that talked about the former homo/transphobe thing.

Man, I'm interested in doing anything to my body but I really want one of this little moustaches that cis women are capable of having. Idk why my mom complains of hers I would kill to have that rn.

To have a woman's body and to yet have a moustache has gotta be greatest blessing I could receive as a bigender person :)

Do I have to take hormones for that or smth?

thanks for stopping by again!

you know, sometimes it's a coin toss. some people end up developing those mustaches regardless of taking HRT- you may have a chance to develop that as you age, but typically, testosterone is needed to help facilitate facial hair growth if it's not already happening. you may be able to take a fairly low dose and still develop that! i have heard from a lot of people that mustaches tend to fill in last out of all of your facial hair, which i can confirmed happened to me. even though i was on testosterone the entire time, my mustache only grew in on the corners of my lips and never really filled all the way out until i was around 30 or so. i've heard people say that a lot of folks mustaches only start filling in until they're 25 or older. that might be anecdotal, but i have definitely seen people develop mustaches as they age

this is a question for my followers: i've heard of people using topical DHT cream to help facilitate certain effects of HRT without getting them all- i've heard about people using DHT cream for bottom growth- does this help with facial hair growth, too? or should this anon look into topical/injectable testosterone?

hope we can get you some more answers! i'm glad that you love that, i also love when women have mustaches. i've always seen it as a very cool thing. i know a lot of women are shamed for it, but i think women should be allowed to grow facial hair freely, especially if their body naturally produces it without any intervention. thanks for stopping by again! if we get any more info for you, we'll be sure to publish it!

EDIT: some kind folks have told us that a lot of trans men and transmascs used topical minoxidil!

it is commonly sold under the brand name "rogain"! i highly recommend taking some time to look into it and see if it's right/safe for you! i've also been informed that it is extremely toxic to cats, so if you have cats, exercise caution, as even small traces of the residue can make them sick. good luck!

[quietwingsinthesky]

Dean is such a paradox for me because on the one hand, I have been actively triggered by him in the show, there are moments where, intentionally or not, the writers managed to create a portrayal of manipulation and abuse and control issues that it sets off actual alarms for me. And on the other hand, I would not have him any other way. There is something — not comforting, that’s too soft a word — about knowing where Dean’s actions stem from, having seen and learned all that we do about his childhood neglect and parentification and the trauma he goes through repeatedly in the show, and that he doesn’t come out clean. He comes out a goddamn mess who ends up hurting the people around him in reaction to his own pain!

There’s a reality there that’s. Almost nice, actually. Distressing to watch, but it is a fucking mess, it’s a good mess! He’s got zero healthy coping skills and a healthy relationship with say, his brother, is terrifying because it leaves him open to abandonment!

I’m not sure I’m wording this correctly. There is a way to be a good abuse victim. Take the pain, martyr yourself on it, and then, even if you have no support or idea how to, then you have to become a Good Person who never hurts anyone the way you have been learning to your entire life. Simply toss everything that shaped you out the door and emerge a saint with a tragic backstory. And Dean is not that. And that’s so fucking good. Everything that he has gone through continues to effect the way he treats the people around him, and he can’t fight the behaviors he might recognize as harmful because he also sees them as protecting him (or protecting Sam by keeping Sam with him.)

And sometimes, idk. It feels good to see a guy who didn’t heal the “right way.” Who mostly didn’t heal at all, just keeps the wound open because it’s easier that way.

[skunkes]

ok posting it here bc im not sure if its going to stay in the doodle page

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

the internet: yeah to practise harm reduction you go for areas that have more flesh to avoid going too deep and needing medical attention

me, an idiot: let's pick this spot anyway, how bad can it be. ...how did i get that deep that quickly