#Is this another headcanon I put it in the tags again whoops

[twobrokenwyngs]

Jackie I'm still saving the last ep but. I need to hear your thoughts about TD. Is there a tag where you've screamed about it? Or feel free to do it again!! What do you love about it. Tell meeee

screaming and crying over this ask tbhhh

firstly - I do have a true detective tag! and a rust cohle tag! and a rust x marty tag! and although I don't have a distinct tag for meta & such, I infuse most of my reblogs with an insane amount of unhinged raving in the tags, so, lmao. it's def there if you want it! XD

secondly - there is actually a lot I can't say without you having seen the last episode, in particular the way the show ends. one of the things I love is the fullness of their arc(s) and the way they're changed by the end, for which you gotta see how it wraps up!!!

all that aside though... man. why I love this show is almost too big and amorphous to answer lol, but I'll give it a shot!

lmao whoops this got long

I mean... one obvious variable is Rust himself. I am so endlessly compelled by both the tragedy and the potential of him. by thinking about who he used to be - when he had Sophia, when he had Claire. he tells Papania and Gilbough that the job didn't make him that way but that being that way made him right for the job, but was he always that way? was he always a lonely jaded cynic, a product of growing up in the Alaskan wilderness with nothing but his imagination and his synesthesia to keep him occupied? is his nihilism baked into his DNA or was it carefully constructed after a lifetime of being abandoned and disappointed, used and discarded? the thing about him is that he wears that nihilism on the surface, almost like a badge of honor, but there is always this pervasive sense that he is in a state of grief for the things he no longer allows himself - love, desire, softness, comfort, hope. he has made himself into this target for other peoples' pain and bullshit because it slides right off him, so he might as well, right?

like, the whole thing with Crash... that REALLY fucks me up. episode 4 is actually my favorite, and Crash is definitely a huge part of that. he accesses a whole different part of himself to inhabit that person. you can tell that during his time with the Iron Crusaders, he was like... their pet. fed drugs and passed around, used and abused, all for the sake of "the job," but it so clearly was a way to exercise self-punishment, an excuse to remove himself from polite society and just give in to his baser nature. when it came time to put Crash back on, he donned him like a second skin, confident to the point of mania, in a way that breaks my fucking heart. I could go on and on about Crash tbh, it almost warrants its own post lol.

and then there's like, the way he has somehow both no relationship with his body and yet a strict routine for its upkeep. he keeps the engine running (or at least he did, for a while) but he doesn't allow that body so much as the dignity of sleeping with a bedframe. he doesn't use it for pleasure, he barely knows how to control it when he's not using it for his job. and yet, every single thing about his physicality compels me. his slouch. his gait. his little mouth noises. matt mcc I can take or leave, but I think Rust specifically is one of the most beautiful creatures I have ever seen or ever will see.

okay... let me move on to Marty. Marty is fucking fascinating to me. he's a bastard and an asshole and a hypocrite and I think so much about the way insecurity rules his life. he makes all of his choices based on what he thinks he should want, what kind of man he thinks he should be, and he will delude himself to the point of absurdity in order to realize that vision. (it's why, in my headcanon, comphet plays a huge role in his relationship with Rust and with himself, but that's another story.) like, Marty doesn't actually want to be a family man lmao, but, he has to want to be one. where Rust has given up all illusions of being any sort of person at all, Marty has made pointed decisions about what kind of person - what sort of Man - he is, and that's that. so, nothing slides off him, because everything challenges his fragile sense of self. he overcompensates, he's a product of generational toxic masculinity - by all accounts he's a total stereotype. but like... that's what makes his relationship with Rust so goddamn irresistible.

there's just so much going on there, constantly. Marty claims not to want to get to know Rust, but he can't stop digging and prying, and his protests about what he finds are so... performative. he can barely show up for his own family in the most basic of ways but he's constantly bringing Rust food & coffee, voicing concern about the way Rust lives, trusting him, vouching for him - he cares. so much. and because there's no road map of Expectations to dictate that care, he never becomes suffocated by it. and Rust, despite himself, can feel all of that. it is no small thing for Rust, the eternal lone wolf, to have a partner. he most definitely knows Marty thoroughly - knows when he's lying to himself, knows when to call him on it and when not to. for Marty, he makes a space. carves a notch into the solid rock of his soul and reserves it for Marty alone. after their split, he never really recovers. neither of them do. Rust never fixes his taillight, Marty lets everything dissolve once and for all and spends years alone with his microwave dinners, because what's the point? what they felt when they were together, what they had, was incredibly profound and deeply beyond articulation (they're not willing to do it, even if they could.) and it is truly in the finale that you see the veracity of that change, what means to unexpectedly reclaim the thing that changed you.

anyway, this was just sorta a stream of consciousness, not particularly considered and very off the cuff, and therefore barely skims the surface of why I love this show. I'm sure I'm leaving out so, so much. and of course, it doesn't even touch on the baser reasons I love it/them - I love stories about bitter washed-up old men!!! I love the idea of what they could mean to each other! theirs is some of the only fic I've ever cried at or reread. their happiness, their future, is so ridiculously important to me. and I love the music! and the southern gothic vibes! and Rust's scraggly long hair and his insane mustache and how good he looks in that black shirt when he takes Marty to the storage locker!!! I love that from that first episode, the moment Rust showed up at Marty's door plastered and crying, I knew I was done-for. I mean. y'know?!?!?!

welp lmao. I don't think all THIS is what you asked for but it's what came outta me, so, hey. thank you for giving me a reason to think about them tonight!!!

[yi-dashi]

//I mean, Yi has been disagreeing with opinions just to attract attention his whole life honestly

  Any one Wuju Master: “No.”

  Yi: “And I took that personally.”

[sunnysviolin]

Gen Sunny and Kel

Little Brother Squad rise up!! This is the next part of Shan’s bday (Aka the tag for today) and I was gonna post another set of headcanons tonight, but now I’m gonna do something a bit different 👀 For now take some general sunny and Kel friendship ideas because I love them 

Kel and Sunny were always in classes together all their lives. They thought they were incredibly lucky and always waited with anticipation to see who’s classroom they would be in next year. 

One of the best parts of getting their final report cards was opening them on the bus home and Kel cheering because they both had the same teacher for the next year. Sunny didn’t yell and whoop like Kel did, but he smiled like a loon and leaned against his friend. 

((Their parents arranged with the school that they were always in the same class together. Sunny was an exceptionally quiet child and his parents were worried that he might not develop enough socially because he refused to speak. The school’s solution was to stick him with a buddy that they knew brought him out of his shell a bit. Neither set of parents ever told the boys because it was sweet to see them get so excited over their ‘luck’))

Sunny and Kel have the solidarity of both being very intelligent boys that don’t pay attention unless a subject interests them. Kel gets terrible grades in science because he knows the subject matter like the back of his hand, but he never does the homework because he can’t focus on it. Sunny is the same in math. 

They are both the underachieving little brothers of overachieving older siblings, and there are times when Kel thinks no one in the world knows him like Sunny knows him. 

Sunny doesn’t even need to say anything, but Kel knows he doesn’t just understand how Kel is feeling, he’s lived it himself. 

Sunny likes that Kel can put how he feels into words. Sunny spends a lot of time frustrated with himself and his life because he knows what he feels is real but he can’t express it in a way anyone else gets. He doesn’t need to try to express to Kel, because Kel does it for both of them. 

Kel was very very jealous of Basil when he first joined their friend group. Sunny and Basil immediately hit it off, and Kel felt like he was coming in second place again with the one person who he thought he didn’t have to worry about that with. 

Mari and Hero were aghast that Kel wasn’t kind to Basil at the start, and it caused a lot of actual fights with Aubrey as opposed to their normal teasing fights. Basil was nervous, Kel was bitter, and Sunny was watching. 

Sunny made a point to do things just the three of them, and to show Kel how he and Basil interact. They are painfully awkward and Kel usually leaves them and goes home to scream into his pillow. But it’s during one of these just the three of them hangouts that Kel sees why Sunny isn’t worried. 

Sunny and Basil don’t interact like how Kel and Sunny interact. When Basil talks at Sunny, he really is talking at Sunny. He’s telling Sunny about his parents and his grandmother. About plants and photos and his dreams. It’s all stuff he needs to talk about clearly, but it’s not things that Sunny feels too. Sunny has problems with his parents, but it’s not that they’re never around. Sunny has dreams, but they aren’t the scary kind Basil has. 

Their teacher recently taught them the difference between Sympathy and Empathy and it clicks for Kel then. 

Sunny can sympathize with Basil, but he empathizes with Kel. They still have their special connection, and Sunny has a special connection to Basil in a wholly different way. Kel isn’t jealous after that, and their group of six enters a homeostasis of epic porportions

It’s because of this minute shift that Kel continues to knock on Sunny’s door every day but not Basil’s or Aubreys. He lets them fall away from him, because he’s focus on his brothers. (Kel ends up later not holding onto Aubrey and Basil just as tightly, but at twelve almost thirteen he didn’t think he had enough love to save all of them)

He knows exactly how Sunny feels. Kel knows how he would feel if Hero had died, if Hero had chosen that he would rather die than stay. So Kel continues to knock on Sunny’s door and ask after him when he sees Sunny’s mom. There are times when it feels like an impossible task, when the lonliness crushes at his lungs and makes him want to stop standing in front of a locked door, but he focuses past that feeling and knocks again. 

It all goes back to Empathy vs. Sympathy. No one understands Kel like Sunny does, so then the inverse must also be true. So Kel won’t give up, even if he has to wait the rest of his life

[ji-yaaan]

Jessamine-rose asked:

Ohh hiiii!! I really loved your leona fic, it was so soft!! X3 may i request idia and jamil seeing their short mc wearing their hoodies?? Headcanon or one-shot whatwver you are more comfortable with!! I would like to request a but of spice as well if you dont mind.

𝐖𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐇𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐬♡

Headcanons with: Idia, Jamil, Kalim, Jack

Note: Yo this idea is so cute I'm melting as I write this- this scenario is just wholesome and I won't forgive myself if I sully this wholesomeness... Oh but Jamil however- ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Oh btw I added in some characters I can imagine with this secnario lol. Ok on to the headcanons!

And yes... I reposted this cuz tumblr hates me and won't let me use the tags... I don't stay up til 5am for nothing bro-

°•°•°•°•°•𝑰𝒅𝒊𝒂 𝑺𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒅•°•°•°•°•

After 8 rounds of Mario kart Idia destroying you 8 times lol cuddled up in the blankets as the both of you crush your consoles attempting to win a round.

It's getting pretty late, but game time is holy for the both of you, so both of you gotta make time to schedule the most awaited activity of the day! GAME TIME~

But after a long day of brain damage at school *cough braincell squad cough* anyone is bound to get exhausted. Taking a break from the game, Idia takes off his jacket and nyooms away to the kitchen to get some chips and soda for you two.

"Potato chips? check~ Soda? check~" Idia smiles as he excitedly makes his way into his room to crush you at the game again.

Oh my what's this? He found a rare treasure lying in his room!!! Quick! What does he do now??? OH MY GOD! You were sleeping... BUT YOU WERE WEARING HIS HOODIE! What is this cuteness? What is this ultra uwu energy? What is this fluff doing here? That's it! Idia has now died of uwu. Respawn later...

While Idia was holding his bags of chips and cola, he can't help but blush at how cute you were! You looks sooooo smol in his jacket- congrats you stole Idia's heart.♡♡♡

I'd say Idia's greatest weakness is cute stuff and small things. So you looking so smol in his jackets is just going to give him heart combulsions.

Idia will probably crouch in the floor to stare at your sleeping face. He'd sit right next to you and stare at you for a while. "Hehe..." Linking his arms with yours as he playfully pokes your cheeks.

He'd rest his head on your shoulder still blushy wushy cuz you're just sooo adorbs♡ "Games can wait for tommorow.."

•°•°•°•°•°•𝑱𝒂𝒎𝒊𝒍 𝑽𝒊𝒑𝒆𝒓•°•°•°•°•°

Like the usual, the Scarabia dorms is up for a party 24/7 because of the happy go lucky kalim. Jamil is still pissed like the usual too...

While kalim was performing his thing entertaining the guest... A wild Jamil appeared! Care to send love??? Jamil makes his way to you, so he can finally chill and recharge from chaos with a powerhug. But as he was just inches away from from you... Dammit someone just have to ruin his moment.

"WAHHHH! Y/N! OH NO I'M SO SORRY!" Some idiots just have to ruin his time with you... Drinks spilt in your top, leaking wet from the juice that spilt on you.

Jamil will just sigh and volunteer to take care of another problem yet again, just like the usual. BUT! Before he takes care of those stuff PRIORITY FIRST! You need to be taken care of first ;>

Jamil will drag you in an empty room to change... now all thats left is to change in clean and dry clothes- Wait....Wow just the luck you both have... No one got spare clothes... what now?

Of course Jamil will offer his hoodie! He can't have you walking around uncomfortable in damp clothing!

When you walk out of the room... Cute... What is this cute creature? Since you are small and short, Jamil's hoodie is oversized on you. The sleeves go way past your fingers, and the big jacket makes you look even smaller in general.

Jamil's having a lowkey midlife crisis inside his head, but gotta keep looking chill and cool, so he just settles with a pinch on the cheek.

HOWEVER! When you go back to the party in the banquet halls. Everyone seeing you will comment how tinier you look like in a big hoodie. Everyone is just going ballistic with the smol and cute comments. Jamil is not happy about this.

As people are making cute comments about you. You'll just blush and freeze on the spot. BUT JAMIL HOWEVER... SNEK BOI IS BURNING WITH RAGE AND JEALOUSY... I mean... That's his hoodie you were wearing. Are they blind? Should he hypnotize people to do stupid things later?

After the party... Oho ಠ ͜ʖ ಠ with Jamil going jealous a little while ago... He'll hug you tighter this time, his chin resting in your head. "Don't look cute in front of other people... I'm the only one you're allowed to look cute for."

Expect markings here and there in the morning... Take this sentence however you like...

•°•°•°•°•𝑲𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒎 𝑨𝒍 𝑨𝒔𝒊𝒎•°•°•°•°•

Midnight trip in the clouds with your local sunshine boi! Riding the magic carpet with kalim is one of the most magical experience! Moonbathing with the stars WHILE YOU SIT BESIDE A LITERAL STAR LIKE KALIM TOO! as kalim cheerfully tells fun stories while laughing.

But of course the night today was kinda chilly and cold but you forgot to bring your sweater with you... Dammit it was really cold today. But somehow seeing kalim smile warms you up! I can't blame you though-.

When a really cold wind blew past the two of you... THAT'S IT! IT WAS REALLY COLD TODAY! You shivered while you held unto your arms and shoulders in attempts to keep yourself warm.

Of course Kalim notices this and offers his cardigan in uwu style! "Oh? Y/n are you cold? Oh! If you want, you can use my cardigan! Hehe..." Kalim brightly smiles like the usual. A blinding smile to keep the sleep paralysis demons away.

Frankly, Kalim is not that big, but his jacket still drooped on you which was very cute in Kalim's eyes!

"Y/n you look so small~ how cute!!" Kalim just casually blurts out, no embarrassment or whatsoever...

Of course it's a bit embarrassing for you at first, but Kalim's too pure and innocent for this world, so it's mainly just rainbows and sunshine being with him.

While the both of you are up in the air, maybe he'll offer a hug too if you're still cold. ಠ ͜ʖ ಠ it wouldn't be a sin to decline right?

•°•°•°•°•°•𝑱𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝑯𝒐𝒘𝒍•°•°•°•°•°•

As the both of you are walking home, casually strolling in the roads that leads to the ramshackle dorm, this night was especially chilly.

The cold breeze was not cooperating this time as it continues to blow past the two of you. "Brrrr" this was cold... this was really cold... It was stupid not to bring your jacket with you when it's autumn near winter...

Jack was not blind to not see you shivering from the cold! Because jack is a good boye, he'll lend you his Jacket!!!

Seeing you look so smol in his jacket just melts his heart away. It literally looks like a blanket on you with how big it was. I MEAN THIS BOY IS LITERALLY WHOOPING 192CM TALL! GIVE ME UR HEIGHT

He'll just stare at you for minutes while you take walks, if you look close enough, you see his tail wagging and his ear perking up... Maybe a little blush too if you really look close ಠ◡ಠ

But a jacket can only do so much... Even if it was big and warm, your hands were somehow still cold seeing as you rub them every few minutes...

Good boye Jack offers to hold your hands!!! Would you like to accept this kind offer? ∆Yes ✓Yes!

When Jack holds your hands, JACK WAS A HEATER ALL ALONG? Big warm hands.... How comfortable... ;v;

Maybe along the way, he'll put your tiny hands in his pocket too... Who knows... But what you know is that you don't want to go home yet. Can the both of you extend this hand holding session?

Bruh...... tumblr won’t let me use the tags and properly post this... sigh.......

That's about it! I added Kalim and Jack to quench my thirst! And indulge in personal interests Again.. thankz for the request! And I hope you enjoyed this! ಠωಠ sending love before you read the next post under this♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ 

[morsartis]

Hey! Your writing was awesome! I've just discovered Marvus and his clowny glory a little but ago. So I've been binging his tags. Can I get a thing about his makeup? Kinda like Clowndaydreams' post about it if you want some direction! Thank youuuu! (O3<)~♡

Babe, you have no idea the power you just handed me. Like. Words cannot express the unholy glee that currently possesses me. I am gonna assume you want headcanons instead of an actual fic but if you wanted an actual fic feel free to send in another ask. Thank you so much for the compliment by the way! I’m glad people are enjoying my writing! I’m also gonna apologise because I wasn’t exactly sure what all you wanted me to cover and couldn’t really find the post mentioned (tumblr likes to test me some days I swear) so if I missed something or didn’t get it right just pop up in my inbox again no sweat! 

-------

Okay so to start this off:

- Clowns get personal when it comes to the paint. It's a huge part of their identity and while things about the paint can change with time- it's all extremely well thought out. 

- Marvus is not an exception to this. Every part of his persona lends to his paint and vise versa. 

- Clowns, as a virtue, are rarely ever barefaced. If you manage to see one without their makeup then you’re both in it for the long haul. 

- Marvus is a little more touchy about the paint than others would assume. There are a lot of people who want to know what he looks like underneath and so he’s extremely hesitant to get anywhere near close enough to someone for something like that. He’s extremely wary when it starts getting to that point and has crashed and burned some of his own relationships out of fear that they’re just gonna snap some pictures and run for the hills.  

- You will know when he’s getting to that point because your man is suddenly showing the worse of himself in the days coming up to it. He’s putting you through the gauntlet just to make absolutely sure you’re as committed as he is in this relationship. 

- One would assume that he’d take it off to sleep and to a point- yes. He does. Usually. But Marvus isn’t about to risk it with a quad. There’s gonna be a lot of sleeping separately when he’s truly, honestly, sleeping. Naps can be had together as he’s naturally prone to wake up at the slightest hint of a disturbance. But just sleeping together where he’s down and out for the count? Nope. Which brings me to another point.

- Marvus putting you through the gauntlet (which is almost like he’s suddenly flipping quads on you- he isn’t but it feels like it) is also him sleeping over a lot more. He stays up until you fall asleep though. Its his contemplation time which is really just him overthinking lol. 

-When he does show you what his bare face looks like you’re gonna notice a sudden flip back to being the dumbass you know and love complete with an apology. He’s gonna go back to being sweet for a while. When you’re settling back in is when he’s gonna pull this off. He asks to spend the night which isn’t unusual anymore and when you go to bed he’ll wait a moment before washing off the paint and joining you. You might not notice until morning when he’s in the bathroom putting it back on again. 

- How you react is how well this is gonna go over. Try not to make a big deal out of it as you being calm will keep Marvus calmed. Make no mistake, he looks nonchalant about this but its a huge thing for him and if you act like its a big deal he’s gonna get a little shy about it. Cringing away from it all until he gets used to it. You being calm, however, means that he’s gonna settle into this quicker. 

- I kind of derailed for a moment so whoops. Let me rectify that!

-I headcanon clown face ‘paint’ as being a pretty wide variety of things. Like most clowns use greasepaint but there's more than just that. There’s powder-based, regular face paint like the type you’d get at a fair, airbrush styled, and more. It just depends on the troll. 

- Marvus does not use greasepaint. He uses either the powder-based stuff which is a lot like human makeup and less lightly to get runny or melt when he’s performing or the airbrushed type. Both are extremely resilient and damn near impossible to smudge. Which is perfect for him even if it means a little extra scrubbing to remove it. 

- For clowns putting on the paint is fairly ritualistic. There’s no damn way you’re gonna be allowed to put it on them for them. Though Marvus may be convinced to let you watch and/or hand him the things he needs. Even that much is considered pushing it but Marvus is noticeably more relaxed than others if you manage to get to that point. 

- However, if you ever reach up and smooth out a little uneven line? Marvus is probably gonna look at you like you’re his entire world. Which at that point you pretty much are. 

- As far as makeup goes its a fairly universal thing in Alternian culture. At least in more modern times. Its like how makeup is on earth though clowns put a more personal take on it. 

- He’s not gonna bat an eye at your own makeup if you have it. Hell, he’s gonna wanna tag along to see what you like and where you go to get it. He’s also gonna know what makeup you use the most of and will be keeping it stocked in his hive and also with him on tour on the off chance you happen to drop in. He’s got you in this regard. 

- I should mention that if you were to turn this into a two way street, Marvus is gonna get real emotional real quick. Its a culture difference thing. For clowns keeping another’s paint- especially the exact type the other uses for them?- is a way of saying you’re in this forever. Now, Marvus isn’t gonna assume things with this because he knows the other castes don’t have such a heavy emphasis on this shit and assumes its a similar thing with humans. Its gonna lead to a pretty long discussion and probably one of the few times he’s gonna be serious. He may even drop the quirk just to make sure the point gets across. 

- If you still insist though? Good luck ever getting rid of him. Or rather, you’re gonna have to hold him back from trying to get at anyone- and I do mean anyone- trying at the quad you share with him. He also extends this same violence to others that think they can jeopardize his quad by flirting and getting handsy with him. Marvus may be the alpha fuckboi amongst the fuckbrothers of the fuckboi fraternity but at this point? He is certainly not as lackadaisical about people coming onto him as he used to be. There is now a hard limit set in place and people better respect it. He’s gonna be a little more violence-prone until everything settles and he feels secure in the relationship again. You might have to bodily get between him and a few people (looking at Zebruh as the only fool stupid enough to push his luck) but the violence is pretty easy to distract from. 

[wildfey]

Anon from yesterday back again! About the set-up, a post on twitter explained the theory much better and I gotta look up the name. The gist is that Phoenix could've proved that he was set up. He did not have the time to have a forgery done since he got the job for defending Zak only the day before. Plus the money. Instead, there is no evidence at all he even tried. Why? Because he'd seen the courts' corruption before and decided it didn't matter anymore, plus too dangerous.

(continued) You could even point at his reply to the Judge's words and wonder if Phoenix has nothing to say because he knows it's useless to argue. Hidden powers have already decided that they will attack him and try to drag him down.

okay, okay, hello again anon, good to see you back with another excellent ask.

I always think that there are two ways to look at Phoenix's disbarment:

a) that the problem was straight-up with bringing forged evidence into court, no matter what the circumstances were.

b) that the problem was that Phoenix was assumed to have created the forged evidence and bought it into court intentionally.

Ace Attorney really flips around on which of these is true in universe (it's a plot point to some extent in 1-5, 3-3, 4-1, and 4-4) but considering that Phoenix gets his badge back almost immediately after it's proved that the second wasn't the case, I'm going to assume that presenting forged evidence accidentally is either not an issue or less of an issue. This tends to be the fanon majority stance too. (It's worth noting that Edgeworth is implied to have pulled some strings irt getting Phoenix's badge back. Ymmv and so on.)

With our framework safely in place, the question arises: If Phoenix could have avoided punishment, or at least public shaming, by revealing the set-up, why wouldn't he? As you point out, the forgery doesn't make sense once you start to look into it and we know that Phoenix did put a lot of these pieces together. Hell, he could have made these arguments when Misham testified during the Gramarye trial. But he doesn't. (Warning: this is a more headcanon-y meta than my last one, because the 7yg is... a gap and we have very little concrete info on what the fuck Phoenix was up to. He got a kid, worked on jury trials, played good poker + bad piano, and had some sort of frenemyship with Kristoph. That's pretty much all we've got).

Firstly: Corruption. The AA court system is ridiculously corrupt, and at the point that Phoenix is disbarred, he becomes emblematic of this - he's a man with a history of revealing injustice - notably Von Karma & Gant, but even without them he still won some high profile cases - and once he's disbarred, it's implied that the narrative is flipped, turning him into a figurehead for that which he fought against (dark age of the law, etc). The obvious conclusion is that his disbarment was a convenient way to discredit him - powerful and corrupt figures (and in AA there are many) don't need to fear Phoenix Wright if he isn't a lawyer and his reputation is ruined. The counter argument is that Phoenix... has always done some questionable things with evidence (1-5, 2-4, and 3-3 stand out to me). But no more so than anyone else in this fucked-up universe. Either way, Phoenix has always worked in a system stacked against him, and it's very possible that he suspected there to be manoevering behind the scenes (and there was! We know Kristoph existed and was purposefully working against Phoenix.) HOWEVER, I don't believe that any of this would stop him on it's own, because it's been long established that Phoenix Wright does not give a shit about bad odds.

So, what would make him accept it? Anon, you mention danger in your ask, and I do see that as partially true - Phoenix isn't concerned about danger to himself, but he has a kid to care for. I would say, however, that especially when we come to Kristoph, as much of a bastard as he is, Phoenix had no evidence that he could be violent to the point of murder until 4-1. Before that, his influence was long-distance life ruining, rather than active threat (though long-distance life ruining is pretty scary on its own when you're raising a small child with low funds). I do see that as a cause, but one of many, and this is the point where I'd like to go back to the conversation on motivation.

I am going to make the argument here, as I did in the other answer, that Phoenix, in the 7yg and possibly elsewhere, is depressed, and that one symptom of that is a loss of motivation. It's implied by the game itself, and makes more sense than most of the alternatives.

(I won't get too personal, but the years of my life where I dressed like this... not good years lol)

My headcanon has always been that by the point that Phoenix had sorted out his guardianship of Trucy and got himself out of that initial low that came from having his life ruined, it was too late to fix his disbarment and he had to change tracks, and that's when he became interested in MASON. (Not to self-promote, but I'm realising that a lot of what I've said here is rephrased ideas from The Path Once So Clear, so if you want 15,000-ish words on the subject, it's there). Of course, when talking about Phoenix's 7yg depression, I think it's also important to mention that Phoenix in AA4 is very much implied to be putting on an act (which is pretty common in AA4 in general. Most characters in that game have both a public and private face). Being 'Beanix' - eg. the piano/poker player with no prospects who works in a shitty restaurant and takes nothing seriously - is a convenient cover while he works on the things that he doesn't want to be targeted for (and here we come back to the corruption angle).

As to how far the depression helps that act... well, that could be a whole conversation on its own. Once again, I'm very much coming into headcanon here, but I'm reminded of the phenomenon where someone with depression will deliberately exacerbate it, either as a form of self-harm or as some attempt to fit a role (artists are especially prone, due to the 'depressed artist' stereotype. I see it most in the emo scene). Beanix has always seemed to me as someone who is deliberately messing up his own life - he repeatedly provokes Apollo, essentially sabotaging their relationship, he puts himself into dangerous situations for no real reason (this is a general Phoenix trait), and despite the fact that we KNOW Maya and Edgeworth were supportive of him during this period, we never actually see them around, presumably because he's keeping them at a distance. How much of this is for the act, and how much is real?

Again, we've come very much off topic (whoops) but I see a lot of this as another aspect of Phoenix's low self worth - is there a difference between the image he projects of a man who has given up due to being disbarred, and the real Phoenix who is still actively working behind the scenes but is very obviously not doing well because he can't 'save people' - the thing which so much of his identity relies upon? I think there is, but I also think the image too often becomes the reality, and AA4 does carry this underlying theme of how wearing these masks of a public persona can affect your 'true self'.

As always, I genuinely love to see other people's takes on this, either in the tags, in reblogs, or via asks. This one is very headcanon-y, and I know there some entirely different perspectives out there, some of which I really like. (Also this one got to be heavy. Look after yourselves guys.)

[stranger-who-writes-fiction]

i don't know what to be without you around

Fandom: Supergirl Rating: K Pairings: None A/N: I fully intended for this to just be a goofy headcanon and then WHOOPS it turned into Danvers Sisters feelings. (Not k*lex. If I see it tagged as such, ya get BLOCKED.) Short. 99% fluff. Probably contains spelling errors. You’ve been warned. 

...

Then

Occasionally, Alex would regret all the time and effort she'd wasted focusing on the downsides of having been thrust into elder sibling-dom. Because while, yes, a lot of the changes that occurred in the Danvers household upon Kara's arrival were...not great...there were definitely some perks to having a sister.

Like the simple satisfaction of a perfectly timed, “Shotgun!” victory.

“What?” Kara protested, her yawn undercutting her indignation. “You can't call shotgun yet, we don't leave for another hour.”

“You snooze you lose,” Alex told her, giving her a pointed look as she yawned again. “Literally.”

Kara rolled her eyes and returned to stuffing pairs of t-shirts and shorts into her duffle bag. Alex did the same, surveying her own bag to see if she'd missed anything. Bug spray, maybe?

She turned to head out into the hall, but Kara stood in her path, wearing a sly smile.

Alex didn't like the look of it. Not one bit.

“What's with the face?” she asked, attempting to sidestep around her younger sister. Kara easily blocked her, and crossed her arms.

“Okay, you get shotgun,” she said. Alex blinked.

“Uh, yeah. I know. I called it.”

“Which means,” Kara continued, complete with dramatic pause for full effect, but Alex already knew what was coming. The second half of the rule...how could she have forgotten. How could she have been so foolish. “I get to pick the music.”

Alex groaned in dismay.

“Kara, no.”

----------------------------------

It would take them four hours to get to the Tuolumne Meadows campground. Alex sighed, and rested her head against the passenger-side window. That meant four rounds of Fearless, though it was more likely that Kara would just play the same five or six songs she'd been listening to on repeat ever since she bought the album.

“Can't we listen to something else? Please?” Alex begged.

Kara smirked, and turned the volume up.

But of course, her mom immediately turned it back down, giving Kara a stern look in the rearview mirror.

“Kara,” she said in a tone that suggested, knock it off.

Kara quickly cowed, retreating further into the safety of the backseat. “Sorry, Eliza.”

“Great,” Alex said, sitting up straighter in her seat. “Now get her to play something else.”

“Alex, just listen to your iPod, if you don't like Kara's music,” her mom suggested. Alex sank back into the seat.

“...It's not charged.” There was a snort from the backseat. Alex glared into the rearview mirror. “Because someone lost their chord and was hogging mine this morning.”

Kara shrugged, and smirked that same insufferable smirk.

“You snooze you lose.”

----------------------------------

Four hours and what felt like a billion playthroughs of “Forever and Always” later, they arrived at the campsite, the interminable car ride almost instantly forgotten as the rocky banks of the river came into view. Alex had been here before, years ago on a father-daughter camping trip, but it was Kara's first time. As they filed out of the car and began to pull duffle bags and ice chests from the trunk, she turned to gaze out at the trees, taking a deep, calming breath.

Alex joined her, and gave her shoulder a good natured nudge. “It's nice, huh?”

“Yeah,” Kara agreed. “It's...a softer kind of noisy, than Midvale,” she explained with a happy sigh. And then, after a moment, she said, “...Sorry for being a jerk, in the car.”

“It's fine,” Alex shrugged. “Here, grab the tent.” Kara lifted the gear with ease, and followed Alex over to a level patch of dirt. “I just don't get how you can listen to the same, like, five songs.” She gestured for Kara to dump out the contents of the tent.

“No super speed, Kara!” Eliza called from the car. “You'll kick up too much dust!”

“Okay!” Kara called back as Alex began sorting the pieces. Kara stooped to help her. “They're good songs. You listen to your favorites a lot.” And Alex had to pause and silently admit, that was true. 

“Yeah, but not over and over,” Alex finally said. “I'd get tired of them.” Which was also true. She remembered liking that Fray song, once upon a time, but now, it just annoyed her, any time it played on the radio.

Kara shook her head at Alex’s remark. “I don’t. There's something new, every time.”

Alex glanced over at her, ready with a retort—how could there be anything new in Taylor Swift songs? Weren't they all just...basically the same thing? First dates at fifteen, feeling fearless in the rain at 2AM?

But Kara's eyes were bright behind her glasses as she enthusiastically went on. “Like, sometimes, I'll just listen to the rhythm, or the vocals, or I'll pick out my favorite sounds, and it makes the whole song brand new again.”

Alex narrowed her eyes. “So...it's an alien ears thing, or...?”

Kara considered the question as they continued to put the tent together—they'd located all the poles and stakes, and were maneuvering the tarps into place. “...Maybe?” She said.

Alex kept working on the tent, waiting for Kara to continue, perhaps offer some sort of additional explanation. When she didn’t, Alex looked up to see that Kara’s eyes were on the tree canopy overhead. Her expression was neutral, but Alex had come to recognize that particular look.

She was listening.

To what, Alex didn't know.

“Yeah,” she said after a time. “Yeah, I think it is an alien ears thing.” She smiled. “I like the way guitars sound.”

Alex might've teased her about that, if Kara hadn't sounded so achingly sincere. Did they have guitars, on Krypton? Alex couldn’t remember Kara saying anything about music from her home world. Alex knew it probably wasn’t the case, but she imagined it being a lot of...synth-y sci-fi stuff.

She considered asking Kara about it, but decided against it--sometimes, Kara would get...weird, about such topics, and they were having a nice time. Alex didn’t want to ruin it. 

So instead, she feigned offense. “Well, if you like guitars, I don't see why you don't like my music.”

Kara emphatically shook her head.

“Your music is loud.”

Alex started feeding one of the poles through the tent material. “Um, yes? That's the best part?”

“Yeah, no thanks,” Kara chuckled as she hammered a stake in place. The repeated the process at each corner, and soon enough, the tent was upright, and ready for them to store their gear inside. “It's loud and it's so emo.” 

Alex snorted, heading for their pile of backpacks and duffle bags.

“Okay, Miss 'Romeo save me I've been feeling so alone'.”

FWUMP.

A sleeping bag collided with Alex's right arm.

“That song is great!” Kara insisted, already reaching for more ammo with a wide smile.

“That's not even how the play goes!” Alex teased her. “Right? Aren't you like, the Romeo and Juliet expert?”

FWUMP. The second sleeping bag hit home, but Alex didn't care. She was having fun.

“That's not the point, and you know it!”

“See the lights, see the party, the ball gowns, see you make your way through the crowd--” Alex thought she was safe, as there were no more sleeping bags.

But Kara had found their pillows.

FWUMP. FWUMP.

She laughed again, careful not to let the pillows fall in the dirt. And she was just about ready to give Kara a taste of her own medicine, when she saw that sly smile once more.

Oh, no.

“Hey, Alex, if you hate the song so much,” Kara said with a knowing look, “how come you know all the words?”

Well, shoot.

“...Cause...you play it all the time. Obviously.”

“And you’ve listened close enough each time to learn all the lyrics?”

Alex scowled. “...I mean. It’s...it’s kind of catchy, I guess.”

Kara beamed.

“Ha! I knew—”

Alex hurled both pillows at her.

FWUMP!

----------------------------------

Now

Alex lets out a relieved sigh.

Kara is back.

Kara is safe.

Kara appears to be whole and...mostly healthy. Her sodium levels are low enough to give Alex some pause, and her right leg shows signs of muscle strain, but otherwise...

“Can I go home now?” Kara's voice is raspy from fatigue. Alex shakes her head.

“Not yet,” she says. “Sodium has to be administered slowly. It's gonna take a while.”

Alex expects some sort of pushback, or protest, but Kara just offers a small hum of understanding. She really is tired, Alex realizes.

“But hey, good news,” Alex adds with forced brightness, “you do get to eat in about,” she consults her watch, “fifteen minutes, or so. Anything you want. Me and Kelly are buying.”

This earns a groggy grin from Kara, and Alex stores the image in her mind, filed under 'reassurances that Kara is still Kara, even after...everything.'

“A dangerous offer,” Kara jokes. 

“Well. It...would not be the first time we bought a mountain of food, to welcome you home,” she admits. Kara shoots her a sad, questioning look, but Alex pointedly ignores it. “So. What'll it be? Pick your poison.”

Her sister's brow furrows in thought. “Um. I guess...whatever will get here fastest?” she suggests. “I'm starving.”

“Ah. We all had a feeling you might be, so,” Alex scoots her stool across the room and extracts a plastic bag from under one of the lab tables. “Snack run,” she says, revealing the spoils with a flourish. Kara laughs outright. It's soft, but it's the strongest she's sounded since returning from the Phantom Zone.

“Thank you,” she says. But Alex taps her watch.

“Still have eight minutes to go,” she reminds her. Kara nods obediently, though she's already sifting through the bag.

“I assume the apples and olives are from Brainy,” she says.

“He swears by that combo,” Alex tells her. “Don't worry, I'm pretty sure J'onn put some actual sustenance in there. You know. Red Vines. Pretzels. The good stuff.”

“...What's this?” Kara asks, and Alex wonders if Brainy perhaps added other questionable food combinations, but the item Kara pulls from the bag isn't one of the snacks.

“Oh.” Alex rubs her arm, a little self consciously. She forgot she left that in there. “That's just...” She pauses. “...I saw that. While you were...” Alex tries to think of a good word for it, but there isn’t one. “...away. I guess I thought...that if I got it. It...was like a promise. That we'd find you. And I'd give it to you.”

The logic doesn't seem quite as sound, as she says it out loud. Regardless, it dredges up memories of awful days marked only by failure, frustration, and fear that they'd never find Kara.

She shakes her head, clearing the thoughts away, and continues in a lighter tone. “Because obviously, pot stickers would go bad, so. This seemed...less wasteful.”

Kara nods, still staring at the shrink-wrapped copy of Fearless (Taylor's Version). A wistful sort of look tugs at her features.

“I haven't listened to these songs in years,” she says.

And Alex can't pass up the opportunity to tease her. “Yes. It's been nice.”

Kara rolls her eyes, but she's still smiling. “It's a good album and you know it,” she says. She sets it aside and yawns. Alex notices that she's looking a little worn out, and she doesn't appear interested in the food anymore.

“You want to rest, while I order the food?”

“...Yeah,” Kara decides. Alex stands to collect the snacks and put them back on the lab table. Kara inclines her heard towards the CD. “Did J'onn put a stereo down here?” Alex gives her a look. “Wait. Of course he did.”

Alex takes the hint and grabs the CD, pulling off the wrapper before heading out onto the main floor. The mismatched selection of furniture is currently off to the side, having been cleared away for one of Nia's training sessions. Alex finds the stereo next to one of the lamps.

When Alex returns to the med bay, Kara's already nearly asleep, her breathing slow and steady.

Alex checks on one of the computers—everything is holding steady, and Kara's responding well to the sodium. She should be able to go home tonight.

It makes Alex sigh in relief once more.

Kara's safe.

Kara's healthy.

Kara's home.

Alex places the CD into the open tray. Checks the track list, turns it to one of the softer songs, and lets it play.

Kara smiles as the opening chords drift through the speakers.

“I like the guitar,” she says quietly.

----------------------------------

NOTES: - Brought to you by the release of Fearless (Taylor’s Version) and the realization that the original album would’ve dropped at the perfect time for young, impressionable Kara to become a huge fan. - Title pulled from “Breathe” because WATCH ME repurpose select lyrics from love songs for platonic/familial relationships. - I want to say that Kara and Alex went to a MCR concert together...or maybe mentioned MCR? In the tie-in comic? I forget. This isn’t really crucial to the story, I just think it’s a fun aside.  - Apparently it’s National Siblings Day so...yay for good timing? XD 

[fanficsforheartandsoul]

Enemies | Darth Maul x Fem!Reader | Part I

Note: Maul is a little OOC in this story but I hope this is fine. Since this is the first part there’s a big part who’s basically just explaining and the rest is some action. I hope I brought out the feelings well :)

Also, I implemented one of my headcanons, that the horns of Zabrak grow a little when they’re happy/excited.

And whoops Reader is a Jedi Shadow again. People might have realized by now but I love them. No one can stop me ok.

Fandoms: Star Wars, The Clone Wars

Warnings: Non-Canon Story, Angst, Fighting, Death, Slight OOC, Original Characters

Summary of this series: Y/N mourns for something she can never have but Maul won’t let her.

Word Count: 7′034

Taglist: @princessayveke​ @pinkiemme​

If you want to be tagged in my stories send me a pm with the fandom/character name! Or comment on the fic :)

Masterlist

Part II

_______ 

They were children when they first met. He was so young. Only four years old. She was young too. Although 2 years older. He was a born nightbrother, but she didn't belong to the nightsisters.

In fact, her presence on Dathomir had been an accident. The ship that should have brought her to Coruscant crashed after they had been hunted by pirates. When she woke up, she was alone. There was no sign of the Jedi who took her from her parents or anyone else of the ship's crew. Only two curious yellow eyes that watched her from a safe distance.

"Who are you?!"

The first thing she wielded in her life wasn't a lightsaber, no, that would come later. It was a pathetic dry stick from a dead tree. Dathomir didn't have much to offer at the crashsite of her ship, unfortunately. 

She held the stick with both hands and proceeded to lie her head off:

"I am the princess from Coruscant, and my knights will kill you if you do anything to me! So come out!"

There was a short silence until a timid voice spoke:

"You're really a princess?"

That's when he first stepped before her, and they met eye to eye. He was a midget. A red midget with the roundest eyes she had ever seen and horns, which made him look like the bounty hunter in her hometown. But unlike that old man, he had strange black marks in his face.

"Of course, I am! Do I not look like one?!"

She never forgot his reply. "No, you look like one. You're beautiful!" Even then, he was already able to sweet talk.

His answer satisfied her and the arrogant child she was, she lowered her weapon and let him approach her. He did eventually, but he froze when she suddenly touched his head and small horns.

"Does your brain not hurt?"

It shouldn't have been possible, but the red skin colored boy turned red some more. Having her hands touching his head everywhere caused his cheeks to heat up.

"E-Everyone has these here!"

He grabbed her hands, and both of them paused. E/C met yellow. His innocent eyes showed her reflection and her dirty state. 

Suddenly she had to cry. Sir Jedi was probably dead after all. She left her parents behind, and she really missed her home. And her plushie. Mr. Grog might also be gone after the explosion of their spaceship.

Her tears surprised him and made him panic, something that happened even when they met years later. He tugged at her hands, and she got pulled into his arms. But unfortunately, he really was a squirt, and both of them tumbled to the ground.

His breath got taken away by her, laying on top of him, but he didn't mind. She was so different than the nightsisters he had met. Not disgusted of touching him. He fell in love right there and then. Though he would strongly deny it in the future.

"Why are you crying?"

He put his hand on her hair, and the softness stunned him. She really must be a princess. He petted her slowly, something he saw the older nightsisters do to the younger ones. He could feel her tears wetting his clothes, and her loneliness made his heart clench.

"I'm all alone now!"

But she wasn't, He was there. His hands were like magic. Her tears stopped soon after he began to draw things on her back.

"Y-You have me."

"But I don't know you!"

"My name is ... What's yours?"

"Y-Y/N."

And that's how they got to know each other. He had another name back then but he got rid of it. Maul was his new name. The boy took her to the village, told his mother that he found her all alone. He didn't give away that he had seen another person from the shipwreck. 

The nightsisters were suspicious first, but when they found out that she was force sensitive like them, they decided to take her in. For two years, she lived on Dathomir and learned the ways of the nightsisters with Maul as her best friend. 

"In the future, I will be your soulmate!"

When she had told her that he almost began to cry. Not a reaction you would expect from someone who really, really liked Y/N.

"NEVER! If you give birth to a child, I'll get killed!"

"Then we just never kiss! We can still be soulmates if we don't kiss, right?"

The fact that they didn't really know anything about love made them say weird things.

Maul wasn't too sure, but they made a promise that they would be soulmates in the future and marry. Although Y/N had to explain to Maul what marrying actually meant - obviously through a child’s eyes - since the customs on Dathomir were different to the ones on her home planet. 

He never told her that but when she had explained that marrying basically meant always eating together, sleeping in the same bed and holding hands, he had really liked the idea of such a future. Of course, the young girl only knew the things she had seen from the marriage of her parents.

The whole not kissing aspect was eventually broken, though. Obviously not by him, because he was shy and seriously believed that she would get pregnant if he gave her even just a peck on the lips. 

But he really liked her. And she really liked him. So much that she understood that her way of liking him was the same as the way some fallen nightsisters had liked their mates. It was love.

And then one day, when Maul came beaten and bruised from his training as a nightbrother and he laid next to her, Y/N leaned over him and gave him a kiss. 

It was short, nothing more than a light peck, but when their lips touched, butterflies burst in her chest and it was as if the whole world lit up.

Maul’s yellow eyes widened and the Zabrak pushed her away out of reflex. She looked at him with a shocked expression.

“NO! What are you doing?!”

Panic was laced in his voice and he grabbed her arms with a little too much strength. Y/N winced and her eyes began to water. The giddy feeling disappeared immediately. 

“Wha-What?”, she stammered and he shook her.

“I- I’m not ready! My traini- the baby- we have to leave!”

She just sat there, not understanding why he was so startled. She was more intrigued by the fact that his horns seemed to have grown a little. He suddenly grabbed her hand and dragged her on her feet. 

“Hu-hurry, Y/N! Before they find out! Let’s talk with my mother, she’ll help us!”

“Find out what?”

“About the baby!”

And then it blanked on her. 

“Oh no.”

And then they hurried back to his home, where Y/N, Maul, his two brothers and his mother resided. A long talk followed and the two children eventually went to bed with different thoughts. 

The young girl was somewhat disappointed that she couldn’t have another playmate besides Maul and his brothers but she was also relieved because she now knew that kissing Maul would not make her pregnant. That meant she could do it again. The thought made her grin.

Maul on the other hand was embarrassed, mainly because he had almost cried when they ran into his mother and he had yelled at her to “save Y/N and their baby” but also because he really liked the kiss. But he was also slightly annoyed. I wanted to kiss her first. 

“Maul?”

He turned his head to see the other side of the room, where Y/N laid in her small bed. He could see her glistening eyes.

“Ye-Yes?”

“I think I love you.”

A blush crept across his cheeks.

“Okay.”

He couldn’t say it out loud but he said it in his head. 

Unknown to both of them, Y/N’s words had been heard by his mother.

When they woke up again the next morning some things had changed. There was the giddy atmosphere between the two, while Maul’s mother looked at them with a rather dark expression. The two would soon find out why.

.

Their closeness was something the nightsisters didn't like because it spoke against their ideas of mates and they decided to separate them. Both cried and cried for days. 

Their bond was strong, after all, and they not only had they lived together for two years but they also played together every day. Since Y/N was taken from her family, Maul had become a replacement and they were close. Really close.  

But it was no use. They didn't see each other for a month. And when they finally met again, it was the last time in their childhood. 

A republic ship had landed on Dathomir. And they were looking for the girl that was supposed to become a Jedi youngling. The person Maul had seen leaving the space ship was the Jedi Master, who took Y/N from her family. The man had survived for two years alone in the swamps and somehow contacted the Jedi Order to save him and the girl. 

According to him, the nightsisters captured her and brainwashed her to join the dark side. Which was bullshit. She realized that later. The things she had learned on Dathomir had saved her life on more than one occasion.

But they arrived and forcefully took her back. 5 Jedi came to her apparent rescue, but the peacekeepers of the galaxy ignored her wails and cries when they dragged her to the ship. She screamed Maul's name and found his face in the crowd who was held back by some soldiers. Don't leave me! pleaded his eyes.

But she did. She had no choice. They didn't even ask if she wanted to go with them. When the ramp of the ship closed, she freed herself from the Jedi's grip and bit him. Hard. The man reacted poorly, unlike a Jedi was supposed to. 

He pushed her away, and she fell on the floor. Hateful tears streamed down her cheeks, and she channeled her powers to slam the 5 men against the wall. The force was strong in her, and her emotions boosted it, that's why she succeeded. Three of them got pressed to the wall, the other two who where Jedi masters only slid back a bit. Using the force was tiring, and she slumped. The padawans got released.

"Let me go! I want to go back! I want to go home! Maul! Maul!!"

Her voice was shrill and full of desperation, but they didn't react. Ignored her tantrum and whispered something between themselves. 

"Her emotions are way too strong! What is Master Yoda thinking? The dark side has already engulfed her!"

Only one of them didn't say anything. The Jedi watched her with a neutral expression, and she returned the eye contact with a piercing gaze. 

I hate you! 

As if he had read her thoughts, he snorted and turned to face the others. 

"I believe Master Yoda knows what to do with her."

And the Jedi grandmaster did.

He turned her into a Jedi. Made her a youngling, later a padawan - although not his - and then when the High Council thought she was ready, they knighted her.

Over the course of many years, the small girl learned about her special abilities, about the force, about the Jedi, the Dark Side of the force, the responsibility they had to shoulder, and why attachments were forbidden.

Although she had questioned the principles secretly, she never voiced any hesitation or critical questions. When she got separated from Maul she had racked her brains to find out why, although she only realized why when the nightsisters ordered her to read the stories about the Fallen sisters again. After that lesson, she knew well enough when something wasn’t supposed to be said. So she left her doubts unsaid.

When she had arrived at the temple she was unbelievably sad and her heart was hurting. When the Jedi took her from her family, she didn’t really realize what that meant. But being taken from Dathomir after she was a little older and formed such a close bond with Maul, she understood that they had parted and would probably never meet again. 

This left her devastated and it took half a year for her to adapt.

Her sadness and arrogant side vanished with time, but her determined character trait stayed and it made her into an extraordinary Jedi.

Y/N was powerful, the secret pride of the grandmaster. Her patience and knowledge were as vast and deep as the seas of Kamino. Her lightsaber skills were unmatched by many of her fellow padawans, and she could even stand her ground against some of the Jedi knights. 

Her Master, the guy who had ignored her tantrum, was impressed by her natural affinity for the force. And so he had asked Master Yoda if he could take her as his padawan. 

The grandmaster was hesitant at first. Because the man wasn't a Jedi Knight. He was a sentinel, a shadow, to be exact. A path that would undoubtedly be difficult for Y/N, especially since she was found on Dathomir. But he accepted, and she became the padawan of a renowned Jedi Shadow. Yoda was proud, but deep down, also worried. Although he didn't tell her that.

Every youngling had heard about Y/N. Before the rumors of a Chosen One started, there were many about a Prodigy. Her name was whispered during classes, and there were bets and dares in the circles of the younger generations. 

"I dare you to confess your love to Y/N L/N!"

"But I don't even like her! Attachment is forbidden, Mia!"

"It's just a game, and we all wanna see if her face will blush! Come on."

But there was one flaw about the prodigy. 

One thing that she could not erase. The padawan Y/N L/N ached for something. Someone. And her yearning - she wasn't the only one who knew it - would be her downfall. But she tried to hide it, built walls around that part of her heart and succeeded- until that one day.

-

[16:00, 32 BBY, Coruscant, Jedi Temple]

"...my only conclusion can be that it was a Sith Lord."

The air in the chamber changed immediately. Qui Gon Jinn, the Jedi reporting the things that happened on Tatooine, held his head up high, his expression was neutral, but the weight of his words was visible in his eyes.

Master Ki turned his head to face Master Yoda and said with a disbelieving undertone:

"Impossible! The Sith have been extinct for a millennium."

"I do not believe they could have returned without us knowing," added Master Windu, and Jinn's padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi furrowed his brows.

Yoda hummed in response, he sighed and then stated:

"Hard to see, the dark side is. Discover who this assassin is, we must."

The other council members nodded, their faces were grim.

"I sense he will reveal himself again," meant Master Ki.

Master Yaddle, who had listened to Jinn's report, silently began to speak up, and when she did, everyone turned. The Jedi all tensed when they heard her words:

"For that, a shadow we should send. Someone in mind, I have. Of help, Leon Ra'eli and his padawan Y/N L/N could be."

The people in the room all had different reactions to the names that were mentioned. Plo Koon and Qui Gon Jinn raised a brow, the padawan of the latter blinked surprised, and Ki-Adi-Mundi, Mace Windu, and Yoda showed a worried expression.

"We must discuss this with the Council of First Knowledge, Master Yaddle," remarked Saesee Tiin and shared a look with the Jedi grandmaster. Yoda nodded slightly.

"I believe Leon would certainly be of help."

Obi-Wan turned to his Master. His eyes clearly asking why the Jedi would speak this freely in front of the council just for another Jedi. He was aware that he was acquainted with the Jedi shadow but the padawan was confused anyway. 

Qui Gon hid his hands in his sleeves and bowed slightly when Master Windu frowned at him. Although he was looked at with intimidating stares, he didn't back down and continued: 

"I heard he has been training an extraordinary padawan. Both of them would be a great aid if another attack like the one on Tatooine would happen."

Obi-Wan smiled a little, when his Master talked about Y/N. He knew her from his youngling days. And according to the rumors going around, she had truly turned into an exceptional padawan, a proud feeling spread in his chest.

The dark-skinned Jedi Master huffed and then leaned back in his seat.

"This attack on Tatooine was with purpose, that is clear, and I agree the Queen is the target. If a Jedi Shadow and Qui Gon Jinn would remain at her side..."

Yoda nodded slowly.

"With this Naboo queen, you must stay, Qui-Gon. Protect her."

The Jedi bowed.

"Yes, Master."

-

And that was the beginning of Y/N's doom. That goddamn mission. Something entirely different for the Jedi Shadow in training. 

Until now, she had to research old Sith artifacts, go on missions to find lost holocrons, and look for secret Dark Side places with her Master. But that was it. Of course, there was always a certain degree of danger coming with those missions but it was nothing truly worrying, the Dark Side she encountered left her uninterested and funnily she wasn’t scared. 

She spent two years on Dathomir, a planet which - according to the Jedi archives - was a space for evil powers. The feeling from those places was familiar and to a certain degree even calming but she didn’t tell her master.

In other words, she never actually came in contact with a Dark Side user much less a Sith. But now she and Leon were assigned to investigate an assassin who could possibly be a Sith, a Sith lord, to be exact. 

The tightness in her chest was definitely from her nervousness, but there was also something else to it. She wasn’t scared, the feeling was more like curiosity but Y/N also had a bad premonition about the upcoming task. But she kept her concerns to herself. Like always.

.

It was night when they left the Jedi temple. Both wore long black robes, and their faces were hidden under their hoods. Master Ra'eli had told her that although they were escorting Queen Amidala, they would not focus on keeping her safe. Both the High Council and the Council of First Knowledge agreed on the priority to catch the potential Sith. Protecting the queen laid in the hands of the two other Jedi. 

When Y/N first heard that they would accompany to Jedi knights, Master Qui Gon Jinn and his padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi, she was relieved. 

She and Obi-Wan were friends when she was a youngling. He was only one year older than her, and although they chose entirely different paths, they parted with good and happy memories. 

Obi-Wan had been a pillar in Y/N's life when she had to learn how to accept that she would probably never meet Maul and her parents again. He dried her tears, let her meditate with him and calmed her down when she had a nightmare. 

Although they hadn't seen each other in a few years, the padawan believed that they would click again, and everything would be like in their youngling years. 

But when she and her Master arrived at the Senate landing platform and everyone was already there, and Leon greeted his fellow Jedi, something happened.

As soon as Y/N laid eyes on Obi-Wan's Master, a sudden pain bolted through her head, and she staggered. 

Her hand shot to her forehead, and the padawan grabbed her Master's robe for support. He turned alarmed and watched her with concerned brown eyes when she winced in pain. 

A vision flashed before her eyes: black robes, a red and green lightsaber clashing, yellow eyes, and a screaming Obi-Wan. 

What...?

"Y/N?" 

Her Master's voice took her back to her senses. She looked up to see his and Master Jinn's worried faces. Obi-Wan looked just as disturbed as them. 

"I-I think I just had a vision," she whispered weakly and let go of Leon's sleeves. 

However, she hadn't regained her balance yet, her legs faltered, and if her Master hadn't grabbed her arm in time, she would have tumbled to the ground. 

"A vision?", asked Obi-Wan and the young man shared a look with Qui Gon. 

"What did you see, padawan?" he asked, and all three of the Jedi watched her expectantly. She gulped. The feeling in her chest from before became stronger. The eyes in her vision seemed faintly familiar. 

"I..." she began hesitantly, "There will be a fight. I think the assassin will show up again. And..." She turned to her Master, her expression grim, "I'm certain he's a Sith. I could feel the wrath and hatred Master. Stronger than in any artifact we ever found."

This revelation was shocking, but only the queen's followers all visibly paled. The three Jedi showed dark expressions. Her Master helped Y/N back on her feet, and she bit her lip. 

He looked at her, and she could read in his eyes that the situation was dire. 

Trust in your abilities and the force. 

Words from her training lessons with Leon resounded in her mind, and she straightened her back. Although she was intimidated now, she would not falter. A Jedi Shadow’s mission was to extinguish the evil that Sith brought into this world. She could not hesitate.

"We will make sure that that Sith will not harm anyone," declared her Master, and the queen nodded. His words seemed to calm her entourage, but Y/N smiled bitterly. If her vision would come true... 

No, let’s not worry.

They finally began to board the ship, she gave her Master a tap on the shoulder, and he slightly turned his head. She only formed one word with her lips, but he understood. She had more to tell, but only to him. 

-

While the two other Jedi discussed some political matter with the queen, Leon and Y/N stayed in a separate room to talk about her vision. 

“I sense you have something else to say.”

"Master... I worry that one of us will be hurt."

Her confession was difficult to admit for her, after all it was against the emotional walls she had built, but she had to tell him anyway. It concerned the well being of  a Jedi. 

She expected her Master to be shocked or at least concerned, but his expression remained neutral, as usual. This fact calmed her a little. In all those years she had known her Master, there was never a moment, where the other didn’t control his emotions.

"Did you see that in your vision?"

She nodded and wrung with her hands. Only in her Master's presence could she let her walls down to a certain degree. The force in the room swirled from her uneasiness.

"I think Master Jinn will get injured..."

Leon breathed in slowly and sat down on one of the cots. His face stayed emotionless, but his eyes betrayed him. For a second deep worry glistened in them, and the way he bit his lip also showed how her words got to him. But it was gone when she blinked. She frowned.

Did I imagine that?

"We must trust in the force."

Y/N expected him to add more, but he stayed silent, looking like he was deep in thought. The force in the room rippled, and she knew that he would meditate for the next few hours.

"You can rest if you want to, Y/N," murmured her Master and slipped to the floor, where he sat cross-legged. She shook her head and sat down too. "Let me join you, Master." He looked at her and smiled slightly. 

"Okay."

They both began to meditate, and soon the force around them changed again. The change spread through the whole ship, and the two other Jedi got distracted from their discussions. 

Obi-Wan and Qui Gon exchanged a glance, and both thought the same. The Jedi Master voiced their thoughts: "Don't worry, your Majesty. You are in good hands, and with Master Ra'eli and his padawan here, the Sith will not have a chance."

But he was wrong. Horribly wrong.

-

And then they met. 

It was as if the earth stopped spinning. 

The corner of her lips lifted, her face displayed many emotions. Worry turned into shock, shock turned into surprise, and surprise turned into joy. Her heart began to beat faster and it was so loud and strong that she believed that it could shake the whole planet.

He had grown up. Some more tattoos got added in his face and he now resembled the look of other nightbrothers who lived on Dathomir, it gave him a domineering appearance and her heart skipped a beat. It was familiar but at the same time, it wasn’t.

His eyes had also changed, the color was slightly different. The beautiful yellow that had reminded Y/N of the sun now held traces of red, and they were burning with a fire that she couldn’t quite place. 

But the force seemed to cry out in pain and the luring darkness in his force presence alarmed her. Something was wrong.

Although she recognized him immediately, this was not the boy she had met on Dathomir, this wasn't the friend she had longed for, not the kid she had dreamt about, not the boy who promised to marry her and whom she kissed. This person before her was a Sith, her enemy. 

And it broke her heart. 

While the queen's guards scattered and left, her grip around her lightsaber faded, and a second later, she dropped it. The impact resounded loudly in her head as if a bomb had detonated. She couldn’t hear anything else. Not the leaving footsteps of the security forces, not her Master calling out her name, nor how the queen asked Qui Gon Jinn how to proceed. 

His name rushed over her lips, and he frowned and looked at her. 

Then his eyes widened, and the tattoos in his face twisted in realization. He opened his mouth, but no words came out. 

His focus moved, and she noticed how her Master had activated his lightsaber beside her.

"You know him, padawan?" asked Master Ra'eli calmly, and she could only nod. 

Maul stiffened from their interaction and grabbed his lightsaber. Her Master stepped forward, and suddenly her lightsaber was once again in her hand. She gripped it so hard, her knuckles turned white.

"So, this is him? From 16 years ago? Oh, Y/N."

Leon's words hit her right in the gut. She had confessed how dearly she missed Maul when she became his padawan - although leaving out the part about their promise and kiss - and her Master had reacted as any other Jedi would have. 

Attachments are forbidden, padawan. You will forget these feelings soon. 

When she first had heard those words, she felt crushed. 

Was her connection to Maul really something bad? Somehow she couldn't believe that emotions were able to come without attachments. Weren't Jedi supposed to keep the people of the galaxy safe? Wouldn't her bond with Maul motivate her to make sure he's alright? 

And it wasn't like she obsessively loved him, like all those fallen Jedi she had to read about in the archives after she told her Master about her feelings. The Zabrak was her best friend. Nothing more. Or nothing more came out of their friendship. Or that's at least what she had told herself, completely disregarding that they had kissed and she was the one who initiated it. She was in denial.

But now that they finally met again, it turned out that he was the Sith Lord, and her heart was literally being torn apart. In the end, there was no mistake, Y/N did love Maul. But not this version of him in front of her. 

The padawan felt torn. The Zabrak before her eyes was her old best friend and they had sworn to be there for each other until the day they died. They had promised to marry. They kissed. She told him she loved him. But on the other hand, he appeared to be the enemy of the principles she had been taught for years. Two years against sixteen. The winner was obvious.

"You... I remember you."

The Zabrak clenched his fists tighter around his lightsaber and activated it. The red blades flared, and they seemed to represent the force around them, which was churning from the Sith's anger.

The padawan didn't know if he was addressing her because he didn't waste another second to look at her. But that was fine because she was sure that another eye contact with him would break down the walls she had built for the last decade. Also, she wasn’t sure if she would do something against the Jedi code if he addressed her directly. 

Qui Gon and Obi-Wan seemed to have realized that something was going on between Y/N and the Sith because they sent the queen with the security forces and stayed, ready to assist Leon and his padawan. 

It was against their plan but the man before them apparently was dangerous enough for them to change it.

Obi-Wan stepped up to her, his lightsaber activated and he held it up defensively. His hand touched her back, and he whispered:

"Y/N? Get a hold of yourself."

Her head snapped in his direction, and he gave her a reassuring smile, although he appeared nervous.

"Jedi!", snarled Maul and his eyes burned with rage when he dropped his robe and then suddenly leaped forward to attack. 

Y/N's heart skipped a beat and she flinched. She couldn't tell if it was because he seemed to run towards her or because his overbearing aura intimidated her, but it didn't matter because the Zabrak couldn’t reach her. 

Her Master stepped before her, and his yellow dual lightsaber skillfully parried Maul's attack. 

"You are outnumbered, Sith."

Qui Gon didn't waste a second and also jumped into the fight, their lightsabers clashed, and sparks flew. Obi-Wan gave her a glance and then joined in. The strange look he gave her took Y/N back to her senses, and she activated her own lightsaber. 

It was also dual-bladed and yellow, although her hilt was from Orichalc material and wrapped with leather for a better grip. The yellow glow calmed her down to a certain degree, and the familiarity of the blade in her hand cleared her head temporarily. 

I need to talk with him! There must be a misunderstanding!

Her eyes focused on the Sith and the three other Jedi who had already gained a certain distance from her. She ran after them and noticed that they passed into the Theed power generator facility. 

"Master, wait!"

The fighting Jedi ignored her shout and performed a series of fierce attacks, which all got fended off by Maul. Qui Gon aimed for the Sith's legs, but the Zabrak avoided his lightsaber and somersaulted backward on the bridge. 

Y/N's heart pounded loudly in her ears, worry filled her chest, worry for her fellow Jedi and also Maul. In the end, she couldn't ignore her heart. 

She used the force to jump forward a considerable distance and now stood next to Obi-Wan. She felt light-headed, partly because of the adrenaline rush from the whole situation but also because she was slightly scared of heights.

"I know him, Master Jinn, stop attacking!" she turned her head to the Sith, calling out his name: "let's talk, please! Do you not remember m-" 

Before she could finish, the Zabrak pushed his hands forward, and she was sent flying by the force. Everything she had been taught, all the techniques and rules for a fight. It was as if she had forgotten them when her eyes laid on Maul. The prodigy acted like a youngling and she had to pay the price for it.

Her back hit the wall of the room, and something broke. Black dots flooded her vision, and pain burst through her whole body.

She couldn't hear clearly because her head was ringing, but she believed that someone had shouted her name. Although she couldn't be sure because before she could open her eyes again, she temporarily fell unconscious.

.

It felt like a long time but was indeed only a minute later, that she woke up. Her thought process was slow when she stirred.

It hurts.

It hurts.

It hurts!!

A groan escaped her lips, and something warm dampened the back of her head. 

Is this how you feel in the Trial of the Flesh? If so, then I don't want to become a full Jedi... I can't believe he attacked me, Maker...

Her thoughts were all over the place, dizziness caused her vision to blur, and her mind wandered from the pain to the Jedi Trials, the archives, her time on Dathomir, and to Maul. Her injuries hurt like hell but she was almost crying from the pain in her heart.

What happened to him? How could he... Has he really fallen to the Dark Side? 

She tried to move upright and used the force to calm her fluttering nerves. 

Focus. 

Focus!

The blurriness of her vision vanished, and she finally saw clearly again, right on time for her to catch a glimpse of Obi-Wan running past some laser doors at the other end of the gigantic room.

I must stop them!

Her legs felt like jelly when she tried to stand up, and although her balance was undoubtedly off, she was still able to stand. Not without feeling immense pain, though. Y/N was sure that she had at least three broken ribs. 

Let go of the pain. 

She remembered her training and breathed in and out slowly. She closed her eyes for a second to concentrate on the force, and she was able to feel the fierce battle that took place at the other end of the bridge. Anxiety welled up again but she ignored it with gritted teeth.

The padawan began to move forward, slowly at first, then she picked up the pace and limped over the bridge towards the laser doors, ignoring the fact that she had lost her lightsaber somewhere.

When she crossed the bridge her legs almost gave out. She had tried not to look down, her fear of heights couldn’t stop her in this crucial moment, but now she felt the adrenaline rush and it almost made her fall over.

It was then when she reached the first laser door when she felt the cry in the force. 

A life got critically injured. And guessing from Obi-Wan's scream, it was his Master's. 

Y/N stumbled. The pain in the force was breathtaking. Emotions that didn't belong to her filled her chest and grief caused her eyes to prick. 

What shocked her, even more, was that her Master seemed to hurt as much as Qui Gon's padawan. The Jedi Shadow had shouted the other man's name when he got impaled, and now through the flaring red doors, she could see Leon swinging his sword wildly to attack Maul and the Zabrak defending himself. 

Why...?

The force presence of her Master seemed off, and his erratic movements void from any specific form proved that he lost himself to his emotions. 

The fact that the usually composed Leon Ra'eli now fought like that caused her fists to clench. 

Why is he acting like that?! This contradicts everything he ever taught me!

This scared her more than the potential death of Qui Gon Jinn.

Obi-Wan seemed to burn with rage too. His shoulders lifted with every breath he took, and she could sense his anger mixed with grief and anguish. 

Y/N heaved with all the sudden emotions she had to experience. Her guts twisted when she sensed pleasure, and it took her a second to realize that Maul was the one who was very pleased about the injury of the Jedi Master.

This was the ultimate proof that the Zabrak who fought against Leon wasn't the midget from Dathomir. But before she could spill even one tear over that fact, the laser doors got deactivated, and Obi-Wan jumped forward to attack the Sith. 

She began to run, but she wasn't fast enough, her wounds slowed her down. The pain was almost unbearable and the whole situation seemed to test her entire being. The doors activated before her nose, and she staggered.

Right, when she caught her balance again, Obi-Wan slashed Maul's lightsaber in two, and her Master pushed the Sith towards the edge with the force. 

The Zabrak was able to catch himself in time and jumped forward, his lightsaber only one blade now. He snarled and swung his weapon at the two Jedi, but they seemed to finally have the high ground and attacked him mercilessly. 

Y/N watched with sweaty hands how the Zabrak got pushed into defense, and although she should root for her fellow Jedi, although it was obvious that he wanted to kill them all, although he clearly engulfed the Dark Side, she couldn't stop herself from worrying for Maul. 

Please stop fighting! Just stop!

She feared for all of them, which didn't make sense for her head, but her heart ignored all her rational thoughts. It almost leaped out of her chest when Obi-Wan got force pushed into the melting pit, but from the way the other two men acted, he was still alive. Immense relief washed over her and her knees buckled.

Y/N felt dizzy from all the feelings she had to deal with, and the fact that she hit her head and even bled to some extent gave her body one more reason why to falter. She had to hold her head because it felt like a bullet was shot through it. 

The pain distracted her from the fight, and when she looked up again, her and Maul's eyes suddenly met.

He looked at her, over Obi-Wan's shoulder, who had suddenly appeared, his face full of shock and... regret?

It took her a second to notice the lack of fighting between the two men. They just stood there, Obi-Wan held the lightsaber of his Master in his hand and his pose looked like he had just taken a large swing.

Was it over? Did they finally calm down and listen?

Y/N opened her mouth to say something when time seemed to slow down, Maul’s lightsaber deactivated, and he slowly fell backward.

His and her eyes found themselves again, and while hers widened in panic, his slightly closed as if the Zabrak was smiling at her. His lips formed something but she was too panicked to focus on it.

Before a scream could erupt from her throat, he was gone. 

He was gone.

The laser doors opened again. Obi-Wan didn't waste a second glance and rushed to his Master's side, where her own Master already knelt. He laid Qui Gon's head in his lap. 

"Master! Master!"

The pain in Obi-Wan's voice reflected the one the female padawan was feeling. Some words were whispered between the dying Jedi and his student, but Y/N didn't hear any of it. 

No, no. No, NO!

She slowly stood up, her legs shaking, and she made her way into the room. Her eyes solely focused on the cooling pit. A wail escaped her lips, and she tried to form his name, although she failed. She couldn’t form a single word. She couldn’t bring herself to look over the edge. Her breath quickened and she panted as if she just ran for her life.

Hey. 

Y/N.

You changed. Not so small anymore, huh?

Things happened after you left. And you have no right to say anything, you would barely reach my chin with your height.

A small smile formed on her lips. Her eyes were strangely empty.

Why did you become...?

A Sith? I'm not. This is all a misunderstanding.

Right? I knew it. You would never turn to the Dark Side. You would never.

The padawan sank to her knees at the edge, eyes still trained on the hole before her. Her hands were violently shaking and she gripped her robes with such a force that her knuckles turned white.

...?

Hmmm?

Where did you go?

What do you mean? I'm right here with you.

Of course. There's no way you're...

Y/N turned her head slightly, and a grey object on the ground near the wall caught her eye. With a flick of her wrist, she absently minded caught the severed lightsaber half and traced it with trembling fingers.

There's no way you're dead.

There were a thousand thoughts in her mind right now, but the one that stood out the most was the fact that Obi-Wan had cut Maul in half.

Obi-Wan Kenobi, her friend from the Jedi had killed her best friend from Dathomir.

"Let me carry him, Obi-Wan."

The weak voice of her Master invaded her thoughts, and she slowly turned to the two other Jedi and the corpse. 

We Jedi do not kill, Y/N. Only if it’s absolutely necessary. Preserving a life is more important, even if they are tainted by the Dark Side. Sith can be saved too. Darth Revan is proof of that. Never forget this.

Liar.

In the end, 2 years appeared to be stronger than 16.

The killer held his Master's dead body, and the shaking of his shoulders gave his sadness away. She felt nothing for him, neither pity, nor worry. She was completely numb.

There is no death, there is the force, do you not know your own code?

"We must report back to the temple," was all she said. Her voice was unnaturally cold.

Her Master looked at her, his expression was heartbroken, and she had to turn her gaze away. Or else he would have seen her hateful stare.

For the first time in her life, Y/N truly despised the Jedi and their hypocrisy.

[sexycraisinthanos]

#because WHAT #op you can't just #leave me hanging #anyway #beetlejuice #suicide mention tw (tags by @procrastinations-my-middle-name​)

You’re the only person who commented on this fact so you’re the only bitch I respect. Nice pun by the way

I said I’d save this for another post, so here I am. 

TL;DR: Demons are made by people killing themselves and Beetlejuice can’t say his name because it’s his specific punishment

Before I start, I’m just gonna put it on the table that Beetlejuice is a relatively unique case for demons. His mom’s a demon, so logically he’d be born a demon unless she became a demon and then he killed himself and became a demon. (in the preview version he says he was born in hell, and we will touch that later in this post. Juno’s (movie version) official form of death is slitting her throat, which is why she’s also a civil servant. It’s gonna be a long read so brace yourself because I’m incapable of explaining anything without explaining EVERYTHING) I’m sure there’s a shorter way to explain it but I have ADHD and I physically cannot

In the Netherworld, if you are a demon, there are rules you have to follow. Because, remember, you are being punished. It is Hell after all (kind of but not really. They never really give us a definite answer on what the Netherworld is)

Let’s say you’re just an average person. Not good, not bad. Just average. You do some bad things like lying and illegally watching movies. But you also tip 20% at least and use your blinker. But you also have depression and on a bad day you decide you can’t take it anymore and off yourself. 

You are taken to the Netherworld and forced into civil servitude as punishment for it. Not really a bad eternity. Just filing paperwork.

You’re also a demon because killing yourself is considered a heinous act and therefor your soul is tainted

This is what the Netherworld decides is a good punishment. Giving you these powers that are super awesome but then you never get to use them because you’re forced to spend the rest of time helping dead people cross over. 

Now, fast forward a few years. You’re a demon. Let’s say you’re a demon named Lawrence who is tired of being alone and decide that you’re no longer going to be subjecting yourself to this torture. So you take the first chance you get and run out a door to escape the netherworld. 

But WHOOPS no one can see you because the universe decides that FUCK YOU, you don’t want to live in the Netherworld then no one can see you because you’re supposed to be dead and not in the realm of the living

And if you want someone to see you, they have to willingly say your name THREE TIMES in a row because they have to prove to the universe that they actually want you around (dead souls don’t count because they’re supposed to be in the netherworld)

Not a problem, right? Just tell them your name so you can be seen by everyone.

WHOOPSIE again, you can’t say your name because both the netherworld and the universe are both vindictive bitches and the name you go by most often (whether it’s a nickname or not), you cannot say under any circumstance. You can write it down, but speaking it is forbidden. 

Well that’s not the case for every demon. Just Lawrence in particular. 

See that’s his punishment. Specifically. He wanted to be seen, so his punishment is being invisible to almost everyone because he ran away from responsibilities

Every demon who escapes the Netherworld has a different kind of punishment depending on why they escaped and why they killed themselves to begin with. 

Now BEETLEJUICE specifically is a special type of demon.

(Again this is all just a headcanon and I like to make things more complicated than they should be)

Lawrence Beetlejuice Shoggoth was born a demon to Juno. 

Life was never really good to him so he decided that since he wasn’t dead, he could just leave the Netherworld and do whatever he wants

Life can be cruel sometimes

He meets a woman and they fall head over heels with each other

Then his wife dies. Death isn’t uncommon. But it still hurts when someone you love dies.

So he kills himself. Because he might as well try to be with her in the afterlife. 

Tragically that is not the case.

He is now forced to work for his mom. 

Then after another millennia of misery he makes an escape and we all know the rest from there. 

[my-arlington-academia]

Hello! Could I get headcanons for the main 10 with a Scholar who likes to leave love letters around for them to find?

Yes! 💗 and thank you for the request ✊ I'm not sure if they're already dating or not? I'm gonna assume they are. (This turned out to be so long! I'm gonna flood the tags again...)

Alistair

- first time you gave him one, it was on his desk

- he tried to read as swiftly as he could, but as he was reading through it, he started getting weird looks from the other students

- not surprising, he was grinning the whole time

- Raquel tried to look over his shoulder

- "Oooohhh~ what's that? A love letter? You're so popular with the ladies haha."

- he immediately hides it and stuffs it in his bag

- "Psh. N-no? It was just uhhh... homework!"

- poor boy sucks at lying

- "Of course, I'm sure everyone smiles like that at homework."

- Alistair keeps on giving you glances during class

- he didn't have the time to read all of it but he did see that you signed it and your handwriting is really recognizable

- afterwards, he quietly reads it in his room

- his heart races at each word

- comes to your room as soon as he finishes reading it

- "Y/N I came here to th- than- uhhh? Yeah! To thank you! Haha..."

- for a hot second he forgot how words work

- is laughing out of nervousness

- after that, you keep giving him more and more letters

- he starts consciously expecting to find one on his desk when he walks in

- is really sad when there's nothing on the desk...

Axel

- he already receives a lot of love letters ("fanmail") so how can you give it to him while making sure that he knows it's yours right away?

- you thought of a silly trick to throw him off guard

- When he's walking through the hallways you call out his name and give him the letter, you tell him that "he dropped this"

- he's surprised so he automatically grabs the letter

- "Oh! Thank you for picking it up for- Wait. I don't think this is mine. Uh...?"

- too late! You ran away immediately

- it takes him a few seconds to understand what you just did

- he's excited! But of course he's not going to read it in the middle of the hallway

- skips the beginning of next class to read it carefully in the cafeteria

- he blushes furiously at how passionate the letter is

- he's persuaded that you could write a beautiful love song

- comes in class 20 minutes late and gets detention from Tadashi but to be honest, he doesn't even care anymore

- When he walks in, he gives you a subtle look but you know what that look means

- you're so embarrassed that you try to ignore him the whole period... until he stealthly throws a paperball on your desk

- you open it, it says "look my way"

- even though you're mortified, you do so anyway

- he waves at you and smirks all knowingly

- ohhhh boy, you look away again

- you hear a stifled laugh, he probably thinks your reaction was really cute

Claire

- she often lends you pretty little boxes with cookies in them

- but when you have to give the box back to her, you get an idea

- you put a love letter in the empty box and give it back to Claire

- she discovers it in the evening when she opens the box, expecting to only find crumbs you left behind

- blinks a few times and closes the box

- opens it again and the letter is still inside

- she thinks "it wasn't a hallucination!"

- reads it really slowly because she has to stop at each sentence to calm herself down

- the next day she gives you the box again with the new cookies she baked yesterday

- runs away as soon as you take the box

- you open it and there's a letter on top of the cookies, it's a response to your letter!

- seems like she was too shy to tell you in person

- to fit the theme of the letter: the cookies are heart-shaped

- you guys keep on exchanging letters through the box and it becomes a habit between the two of you

Ellie

- since she doesn't have a roommate, you slide the letter through the small space under her door

- finds it on the floor when she gets back to her room

- OwO whats dis?

- opens it and reads it super quickly

- she's so giddy that she reads over it multiple times

- sends you text messages with lots of emojis in them

- "Thank youuu 💖💕💗 you sweetheart!!! 💘💝😍😊😘"

- builds a robot to deliver letters between the two of you

- it knocks on the door and if you don't open it to take the letter, it goes back to Ellie

- she teaches you how to use the robot!

- "Don't worry! If someone else snatches the letter away from the robot it'll activate an alarm on my phone! And it's not like we need to sign the letters, we can use codenames!"

- You remind her that she's the only one in the pure and applied sciences department to create cute robots like those

- "Ah whoops... well uh, to be fair everyone already knows that we're dating so... no need to hide it!"

Karolina

- she probably doesn't care much about love letters

- she always thought that it's childish and extremely ridiculous

- that is until you gave her one

- the really first time you gave the letter to her directly or else she wouldn't read it, not knowing that it was from you

- she's all proud of herself while reading it

- she agrees with each statement but still blushes

- "Of course I'm gorgeous! You didn't have to write that part..."

- she's actually a sucker for books, especially from the romance genre

- you make her feel like a heroine from one of those books and she's secretly really happy about it

- but she'll never admit that of course

- after a while she gets inspired and tries to write one herself

- she thinks "I'll show you how it's done!"

- ends up getting really embarrassed at the thought of you reading the letter and doesn't give it to you until the end of the year

Neha

- after multiple attempts you somehow managed to sneak the letter in one of her sketchbooks

- too bad you couldn't see the surprise on her face when she found your letter

- she wanted to work for a few hours and brainstorm ideas for some new outfits

- but her plans went out of the window

- she read it. Put it on the side and started thinking about you during a solid 20 minutes

- wants to thank you but doesn't know how to do it without sounding like a little kid

- decides to send you a text for now, but she'll also write you a letter later

- "Thank you a lot for the letter. I really appreciate it."

- thinks that maybe it's a little bit too cold so she adds a heart emoji at the end

- cringes to herself while sending it

- gets back to work but sometimes she draws your face on the side

- scribbles all over it when she realizes what she's doing

- "This is not professional! If I have to show my sketchbook to someone and they see this, they won't take me seriously..."

- decides to write you a letter first or else she won't be able to focus

Raquel

- This is a hard one

- Raquel always moves from place to place without stop so it's hard to be sneaky with her

- eventually you slip the letter in her bag but you don't know how much time it'll take for her to find it

- like you thought it took her a few days

- when she did, she was very vocal about it

- she ran to you and almost jumped on you

- hugs you and thanks you hundreds of times

- "I love you too!!! You're so sweet Y/N..."

- becomes much more flirty, she was already confident but now it's even worse (or better? 😌)

- puts the letter on the wall of her room and shows it off to Claire

- "Look at that Claire! It seems like my godly charm cannot be stopped."

- Raquel starts carefully checking her bag everyday in hopes of finding another letter from you

- and even when she doesn't find anything, it gets her into a working mood

- "Might as well do my homework I guess..."

- becomes much more responsible with homework now that she checks her bag everyday

- your love literally helped her to get better grades

Tadashi

- This was a risky mission

- you had to sneak into the student council room and leave it on his desk

- they had a meeting this afternoon and Tadashi has been in a bad mood lately

- Well, to be fair he's always done with everybody's BS but this time it was worse than usual

- he finds the letter and gets confused right away

- wants to read it but he's having a meeting

- he's really fidgety the whole time, for some reason he has a feeling that it's from you though he can't explain why

- once everyone leaves the room he opens the letter

- all of his stress dies down, he falls back on his chair and sighs

- goes to find you and brings you to the council room, he makes you sit on his chair

- you tell him that you can't be here but he smiles and answers "Oh? You say that now even though you snuck in earlier to give me a secret love letter of all things?"

- he teases you with endearment and massages your back to thank you

- asks you if you'll write more (because he loved it) and you promise to do so if he promises to take more breaks

Tegan

- Tegan often invites you to play videos games with him (or to marathon some shows/anime/movies/whatever)

- you left the letter behind for him but he didn't catch the drift

- goes to your room to give it back

- "Um... you forgot this, I think..."

- you tell him that it's for him

- "Wait, really? You can just text me, you know? It's quicker and way easier than writing letters."

- oooohhhh boy. He really doesn't get it, you have to spell it out

- "A l-love letter? For me!?"

- "Tegan. We're dating."

- "Oh right! Sorry... I always forget that, it seems like I'm in a dream..."

- reads it in front of you while you're paying close attention to his reactions

- and to no surprise: he's a blushing mess

- you're fully satisfied, all that time was worth it

- he says that he'll repay you with a "love text message" which sounds like he's being lazy, but really knowing how... "unique" his handwriting is, you're glad...

- but it was not just a text message.

- "Sorry, I went a bit overboard 🙏🙏"

- his text has a 23 pages long file attached to it

- he wrote a really really long essay explaining in details why you're "so awesome" and "the best person in the world"

Tyler

- after classes are over, when he's working on a new painting he spends almost all of his time in the art room

- that's when you strike!

- you know he has a habit of sitting in the corner of the room so that's where you leave the letter

- honestly, he was in a slump lately because he felt like he was doing a really half-assed job with his new art piece

- but your letter gave him so much motivation that he finished the painting in a day

- "This is crazy Y/N! Reading your letter gave me the same rush as drinking 5 monster drinks in the span of 2 hours!"

- "Uhhh... Please don't do that?"

- laughs at how worried you look and asks you to write more to give him strength

- you say no at first but he pulls out your letter out of his pocket and starts reading it out loud in the middle of the hallway

- "Ssshhh! People might hear!"

- "Yeah, so? That's kinda the point but if you promise to write me more I'll stop~"

- you know he's just teasing you but it's still so embarrassing...

- in the end you give in out of shame however you have no idea just how much this letter helped him

- whenever he feels down or like he's not good enough he pulls out one of your letters and reads it

- he keeps all of them safe in a box, they're his treasures

[damienthepious]

oh, well, this is unexpected. Not a tuesday offering because... well, it’s not about that. Casey, Sky, & Ria, y’all are. partially responsible for this one. i love you sorry for the angst.

Mirrors Keep Our Reflections

[ao3]

Fandom: The Penumbra Podcast

Relationship: n/a

Characters:  Sir Damien, Sir Damien’s Father, Original Male Character

Additional Tags: Second Citadel, (as usual i do not know how to tag), Damien's family, (i am mildly unpacking damien's father), (also i have given the boy a sibling), (whom i love now), (and... whooops.... uh), Implied/Referenced Character Death, (at least twice over actually), Loss of Parent(s), Family Dynamics, Siblings, Grief/Mourning, Angst

Summary: If there had been a third child, he would have been named Ferdinand.

Notes: Whoops. Context: there's a patreon bonus guide to the second citadel thing that talks about names and naming in the 'verse, and apparently it is very common for children to pick a new name for themselves. Combine this with certain headcanons I have about Damien's family and you get.... a mess. Title from Domino by Squalloscope.

~

It is a cruel anniversary for all three of them. Aaron is unsure what their father thinks Damien will accomplish in his studies today, but neither of them argue when they are each assigned their tasks before their father locks himself away again with his holy texts.

Aaron is unsure as well, if their father is mourning, in this way, or if there is some other answer he seeks in the words of the Saints. It doesn't particularly matter, he decides, if it means that he and Damien will be left to mourn on their own, in peace.

When Damien's shoulders sag over his own reading, when he rubs at his eyes, Aaron steps up beside him, reaches forward, and closes his book.

"Aaron-"

"Come down by the pond with me."

"But father said-"

"A few minutes, Damien. Clear your head, give your poor scholarly eyes a rest, inhale some air that isn't half composed of dust."

His brother glances back down to the closed book again, guilty and reluctant, and then he scoots his stool back. "… Alright. Only for a little while."

The walk is short, and though the day is oppressively hot, the shade and the breeze are cool enough to guard them from the worst of it by the water's edge. Damien settles on the moss with a sigh, and he closes his eyes for a long moment as Aaron stares out over the glassy surface of the pond, watching the lines rippling out behind the family of geese on the far side.

"Do you… remember much about her?" Damien asks, after what seems like quite some time. His voice is very quiet, and when Aaron blinks and glances towards him, Damien still has his eyes closed, though his expression is tight and anxious.

After a long moment, Aaron sinks to sit beside his brother. "… less than I once did," he admits, and Damien opens his eyes so that he may watch Aaron's face instead. "Less than I wish I did. Memory is an unreliable creature. If you look away from it for too long, it will transform, or decay. I remember… I remember that she had clever eyes, a rare smile but easy humor… I do remember that she enjoyed mornings just the same as you, Damien."

Damien's smile is noticeably watery, but it is genuine. "Did she shove you from bed as I do?"

"When I needed a good shoving," Aaron grins, "yes."

"I wish-"

Damien's words come too fast. Too abrupt, and they cut off into the silence of the thrumming hot day just as quickly.

"I know," Aaron says, when the silence has drawn long. "I wish too. I miss her, and… and I miss the man that father was, when she was still here."

"Was he… was he-"

"He was still himself," Aaron says gently. "But- happier. Less unyielding."

"I think… I cannot help but think, how it could have been, if-" he inhales sharply, his brow furrowing. "The four of us, together. Or- the five, I expect."

"Five- ah." Aaron presses his lips together for a moment. "Right."

Aaron, and Damien, and-

Their parents would not have named them as they did, of course, if they were not anticipating a third with which to complete their reverent set.

"Another brother," Damien says, both sad and wondering. "We could have had another… another piece to our family. Some brave little boy we never had the chance to know-"

"You cannot know what another child would have been like, Damien. Simply because father would have named him Ferdinand does not mean anything about who he would have been. Or she, for that matter. A name such as that…"

"A name such as ours?" Damien asks, one eyebrow raised and his lips pursed into a pout.

Aaron eyes his brother in return, considering, and then he nods. "A name such as ours. The more I think on it, the more I know that it is a wretched thing to do. If we had another brother, if they named him as they clearly planned- likely he would toss the name on the next fire as soon as he was old enough to choose one for himself. Saints know how often I've been tempted to do the same."

"You- you have?" Damien asks, obviously incredulous, his eyes wide, and Aaron attempts to keep his expression only wry.

"It's only... it's quite a lot for any child to live up to," he says. "You understand that, don't you?"

"I... I suppose so... but- but you do live up to your namesake! You are steadfast, sturdy-"

"Damien-"

"Resolute! And if you can live up to your name, certainly if I work hard enough, study long enough-"

"You shouldn't have to, Damien. Neither should I. No child should. If we had another in our family, it would be kinder to leave them free of such a weight.

Damien frowns, a delicate web of incomprehension. "Are you... are you going to change yours, then?"

Aaron looks aside, sighs. "I haven't decided. It's... it is a heavy weight, but... it means so much to him."

And their father's good humor is the unsteady framework upon which their home is built.

"... what... what would you even change it to, if you did?"

"I could change it to Damien, simply to annoy you," Aaron says with his wide, easy grin.

"Aaron. I am being serious."

Aaron laughs. "I could simply change it to Ferdinand myself, and then you could take a turn as the elder brother."

Damien huffs. "That," he says stiffly, "is not how that works. And besides- if you were Ferdinand, that certainly would not solve your problem. Your very first point was that bravery would be an equally heavy burden."

"That is true," Aaron says with a sigh. "So. Not another Saint name, then."

"Obviously not," Damien agrees. "That would limit you quite severely." He pauses, his uncertainty so poorly concealed that Aaron can't help but smile again. "Did... clearly you have put some thought into this... did you have any potential names in mind? Any that were not in jest?"

"Any..." Aaron echoes. "I suppose that is just the issue," he says slowly. "If I were not Aaron, I could be anyone."

"But were there any anyones in particular," Damien insists. "Come now, I don't think you would have brought it up had you nothing already in mind!"

"Perhaps I had some trouble, summoning potential names to my own mind. Perhaps I was far more curious to hear your suggestions," he says, tilting his head with a grin. "You are much quicker with this sort of game than I, after all.

"Oh!" Damien clasps his hands together, grinning, and then he schools his expression, his brow furrowing as he considers this task for a long moment. "You could be... hm, perhaps Lucan? No- Rience! Or perhaps Owain, or Claudas, or Balan-"

"Evaine is rather elegant," Aaron murmurs, and his face is very still as he watches the equally still water.

Damien pauses. "Wh-what was that?"

Aaron says nothing for a long moment, and then he stands, his easy smile spread across his face again. "It's past time we returned you to your studies, I think."

"But-"

"I will thank you for indulging me, and beg your pardon for distracting you for quite so long," he says. "But we should... we should return to where we belong, Damien."

Damien stares up at him, still unsure for a strange, stretched-out moment, and then he reaches a hand out so Aaron may help pull him back to his feet.

They do not speak, on the walk back to their home. They do not speak of names ever again.

They do not see another cruel anniversary together.

If there had been a third child, he would have been named Ferdinand. Unlike his namesake, Damien who will be Pious has only one brother, and his name was only ever Aaron.

After Aaron dies, Damien's father mourns this newest cruelty by packing up what remains of their lives and taking young Damien to the realm where death looms the closest. He takes them to the Western Wastes, the woods of death themselves, and there Damien's father proselytizes. The names of the Saints on his tongue, surrounded by death and nonbelievers. Their names, again and again, and echoed in and echoing his family, in his son who never was, in his son who no longer is, in his son who is not enough.

When Damien is old enough to choose his own appellation, he thinks of Aaron.

He thought of Aaron in the water, as well. He thinks of Aaron often, though he is discovering to his sorrow that Aaron had been right, about memory, and transformation, and decay. He remembers that easy grin, still, and sturdy embrace, but he has forgotten the precise pattern of his freckles. He has forgotten the name that he whispered like a secret beside the water. He has forgotten moments small, and large, and they have left him so easily that he will not even recognize their lack.

Damien could choose another name, but once beneath the water his namesake reached within him, and helped him breathe.

Damien could choose another name, but once a boy named Aaron had a brother named Damien, and Damien does not wish to be anyone else.

[intheseautumnhands]

Um! Kliego, and.... your favourite other TUA ship (lawd, I'm suddenly hoping that you ship kliego lmaooo, sorry if you don't :'))

Hah, it’s fine! I’m into pretty much every single Hargreeves ship to some extent. Klaus/Diego* is not super high on my list to be honest, but I’m definitely still into it overall! I think it’s just fandom saturation more than anything that puts it lower down, because I do think the dynamic could be of interest.

* (I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I cannot use smushnames. I don’t begrudge anyone else use of them, they don’t bug me *that* much, but typing them feels so awkward.)

Choosing a favorite is honestly harder because I just want to ship all of them but I will... I dunno. Maybe RNG stuff I’ve written lately to pick. XD

Gonna cut since I’m already rambling before I even put in the questions, whoops.

(Also, two-days-later A: Hi I fell asleep in the middle of this and then barely touched my computer yesterday. Sorry!) 

 Klaus/Diego:

when of if I started shipping it: I walked out of my first viewing singing the song of my people at every single combination possible (Not even walked out, I watched over several days, it only took the first. not even half a season.) (The song of my people is, of course, I Ship It by Not Literally.)

my thoughts: Again, it’s not my #1 ship for the show, but I definitely could see it. I like that, of all the possible combos that could have hung out during the time between leaving home and the show, they seem to have the least amount of active vitriol and bitterness. It opens up interesting windows for that time period, as well as means it’s among the ships that need the least foundation work to get to somewhere decent afterwards. It makes it an interesting counterpart to some of the more actively difficult combinations, which I like especially in a poly context (because I am me and everything happens in a poly context).

What makes me happy about them: Again, the possibilities during the time gaps! And the general sense of... friendliness? It does feel like they’d have a lot less to get over than a lot of the pairs and I like it. (granted I think Klaus in general, while he has plenty of issues, seems to have less of them with his siblings specifically than most, so that’s playing into it, but I also see Diego as probably the one with the most after Vanya, so that’s interesting in and of itself.)

What makes me sad about them: I’m just sad for all these children growing up in their shitty, shitty childhood. And by sad I mean I want to read a lot of things that make me want to cry. Either as children but also I’m down for adults unwillingly letting the conversation drag around to their trauma too.

things done in fanfic that annoys me: Klaus is snarkier, more clever, and a lot stronger, mentally and physically, than I feel like a lot of fic gives him credit for. I think that goes for a lot of fic in this fandom, but since it’s one of the biggest ships and he’s in it, I feel like it shows up a lot for K/D. I’m not a big fan of them being really close as kids, either, which comes up a lot; my headcanon for Diego being pretty distant from all his siblings is strong enough that it takes a lot of set-up for me to accept anything else. (Awkwardly getting close in late teens as both of their ‘get me the fuck out of here’ drives get stronger and stronger is easier for me to see than close-as-kids.)

things I look for in fanfic: Tropes! The writers for this ship give me all the tropes. I want to marinate in it. I’m also kind of into general ‘it was casual, then whoops, I caught feelings, now what??????’ for them, because I could see it. Other than that, like... look, if it looks like it’s interestingly written or has an interesting concept, I will read it. I’m not super picky in this fandom, if it’s Hargreeves-centric and doesn’t bitch at shippers in the tags I’m in to at least give it a try.

My kinks: Uhhhh. Hmmm. I haven’t actually read a lot of kink fic for this ship or considered it, but I feel like I want mutual sadism/masochism.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: Honestly my hope is for most of the characters to end up without another major romantic plot. I’m here for canon Allison/Luther but hoping the rest of them just... don’t. Especially since I don’t see them going for two sibling ships and that’s really all I’d want to see. If not that, both of them with new characters would be my preference, because there’s no one actually in the show I’d be down for. Maybe if they somehow warp the timelines around enough to bring Patch back, but even then, eh, just let me have family stuff.

My happily ever after for them: In general as characters, my ideal endgame for both characters is in healthier places than their start point, still clearly working out their shit, and on good terms as a family. As a ship: I feel like both of them would get bored eventually by any kind of ‘and then they went and got a happy domestic place to live and nothing exciting ever happened again’, even if it might be nice for a little while, so... active, somehow. Either they end up somehow finding some kind of active hobby to screw around with together, and enjoy flirting with each other while they do it, or like, I don’t know, get bored one day and accidentally buy a business just to have something to do and find they get weirdly invested in running it. (Maybe, like, a restuarant or something else that’s really high-stress. Or maybe the gym Diego boxes at goes for sale and he doesn’t like the look of the most likely potential buyer and buys it himself before he realizes he has no idea how to run something and has to slink back home and let Klaus laugh at him. Shit, I want that fic now.)

who is the big spoon/little spoon: This assumes either one of them are capable of sleeping totally still which honestly I don’t see. They both seem like the kind of people who flip around in their sleep and wake up five times a night. So, they both take it in turns and also sometimes just end up in weird sprawled positions, either on top of each other or really far from each other.

what is their favorite non-sexual activity: Honestly, I feel like joking around and talking together would probably be it. I could see road trips, too.

Uhhhh I RNG’d things I’ve written lately and I got Ben/Allison. Nobody else writes that but it’s the tiny ship of my heart so I’m gonna do it anyway. I’m sorry, my random teeny ships are what you sign up for when I get to choose. >>

when of if I started shipping it: On like my third rewatch Allison’s little “I miss him” while she’s watching the cameras burned itself into my brain and I have wanted more for the two of them ever since.

my thoughts: I just! Look it’s pretty much canon that everyone loved Ben, but something about his snarky-but-because-I-want-you-to-do-better-and-I’ve-given-up commentary with Klaus and Allison’s alternating defensive and concerned mode -- I just want them to team up together to despair everyone else’s problems and try to figure out how to help (and often failing; I feel like in a general sense, they’re both better at pointing out the problems than actually fixing them on their own). And I feel like they both get prickly in ways the other would understand and be able to deal with easier than most of the family.

What makes me happy about them: I feel like this just blends into the thoughts above. I love the potential for how they might interact, and the potential for them to call out each other’s shit (and probably everyone else’s).

What makes me sad about them: Everything about Ben in canon is sad! Even the happy things are sad!

things done in fanfic that annoys me: There are exactly two fics for this pairing and one is me and one is PWP smut, which just isn’t super my thing. So uh. there needs to be fic to annoy me. Please write fic specifically to annoy me, oh no, don’t throw me into that briar patch. (That said, in general, I feel like both of them get their sharper points filed down a lot in fic. They both have their pointed sarcasm and their moments of outright lashing out, and I want to see more fic deal with that.)

things I look for in fanfic: Again, I say, please let fic exist. Also, I badly want a proper AU of Ben surviving and running off to Hollywood with Allison. I did not do it justice in my tiny thing.

My kinks: I want switchy powerplay with an emphasis on play -- competitiveness and teasing and wrestling. Also younger or AU Allison who hasn’t yet tried not to use her rumors for everything not trusting anyone but Ben enough to gag her, because her voice is her best weapon. 

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: Please please give me an Allison/Luther endgame. Ben I have no feelings on -- I still stand by not wanting any other romantic subplots, really -- but I am rooting for Allison/Luther in canon no matter how many others I ship them with.

My happily ever after for them: Possible in canon, as characters: Allison figures out how to balance ‘not using her rumors at all’ and ‘rumoring everything always’; Ben gets brought back to life and gets to be happy. As a ship: Honestly, connected to the family and both doing their own, fulfilling, non-superheroy things. Allison can act and Ben can get a chance to figure out what he wants to do, because I feel like even if he’d survived that would’ve been hard for him.

who is the big spoon/little spoon: Especially if we’re going with some semblance of canon and Ben’s died and come back, he’s the little spoon, because being wrapped up in someone else is comforting. But also just any kind of cuddling is welcome.

what is their favorite non-sexual activity: Judging everyone. No, I kid. Sharing and discussing books and movies, maybe. Ben passes along books he liked* and they watch movies together and Allison dissects acting choices and they both debate themes and ending of more ambiguous stories. They are loud movie watchers if they stay home to watch things, and go have loud debates over coffee after if they go out. *(I actually have a whole tangent in a fic that got cut out that I want to reuse for this fact, specifically about Ben having a slightly masochistic Lovecraftian phase in his early teens and passing it on to Allison, and Allison in her 20s thinking that if it fits either of them, it’s her, because she gets in people’s brains and rewires them and they forget what she’s done to them, and if either of them could make people go mad, it’s her.)

[ask-autistic-mista]

can i just say that i have see a lot of people going "this character is autistic" even when that character shows no traits of it at all and as an autistic person i just hate that but you chose someone who might actually be autistic and depict them in such a good way. thank you

(thank you for telling me these things! i appreciate it a lot! here’s my speel whoops) I think that your reasoning is entirely valid, but I absolutely love it when people go “this character is autistic” for supposedly no reason, bc there’s usually really solid reasoning behind it, even if they can’t quite place their finger on it at first. (For example: Chara, Papyrus, Pearl, Jotaro, Kakyoin, and Peridot) Usually it’s just other autistic people going “:0 I do that!” even if they’re not fully aware of it at the time. And I think autistic ppl hc'ing their favorite character as autistic, for no reason other than “I’m autistic and I said so” is amazing, bc it’s just… Healthy, imo. It makes you feel good about something that’s been portrayed as shameful over and over. In fact, I did exactly that with Chara Dreemurr last year and this year I saw a huge post about why they are, in fact, autistic (i was right, score) I love Chara bc they’re so much like me (going off of the narrator Chara theory, a theory with even more direct evidence than the theory that the mystery_man is Gaster) So… I hc’d them as autistic without a second thought, and well - there you go, they’re autistic bc I love them and I’m autistic, the end. But I think the infuriating part, and probably the part that could be bothering you, is when allistics hc a character as autistic, bc they don’t experience it firsthand. They generally know a lot less about being autistic than we do, because we’ve been autistic our whole lives and they haven’t! More often than not, the only thing they’re doing by hc'ing a character as autistic is placing their judgements and stereotypes about autistic ppl onto said character, subconsciously or not. (also sometimes they just do it to Look Good :/ ) Which can be… Very harmful. It distances us even more from being understood because they’re too attached to those notions about us to actually listen to what we have to say about our own experiences. (Not that I don’t think allistics can’t improve and understand, it’s just REALLY not their business to do that, they REALLY shouldn’t get to speak for us, even for those of us who can’t speak. Because they’re NOT inside our heads.) Autistic headcanons made by autistic people (ESPECIALLY when they go super in-depth about explaining them) have helped me personally identify autistic traits within myself and appreciate those traits instead of masking them. It’s helped me live a much more enriched and less stressful life because I’m no longer ashamed of who I am. And I don’t have to worry about constantly adjusting to be “normal” because I know that those traits are normal. For me. Like for example, when I struggle to eat bc of sensory issues surrounding food, I go “Wow, just like Pearl!” (obviously there’s more to it than that, but that’s just my personal experience) And when people comment on how observant I am of little details or when I get upset bc multiple people are talking or shouting over each other I go “Wow, just like Jotaro!” (after i calm down of course) (also there’s a LOT more i share in common with jotaro in terms of autistic qualities, i am forever grateful to @ask-autistic-jojo ’s post for that whole explanation) and finally, when I eat the same food over and over again or struggle to express emotions in a conventional way I go “Wow, just like Chara!” I’m less ashamed of these things because characters I love go through them too, and even if I’m treated as ‘weird’ or ‘cringy’, characters I love and appreciate share those qualities with me. Allistic people don’t get to experience that, which is why I think autistic hc’s made and supported by autistic people are so important, maybe even to the autistic community as a whole. This will tie back into my point again, but real quick, something I haven’t really seen yet is the autistic symbolism around Mikitaka. I adore Mikitaka, even if I don’t really hc him as autistic, I feel like he holds a LOT of autistic symbolism (he literally has an infinity sign on his clothes) He takes everything literally (which i do often), he’s allergic to sirens (which feels REALLY similar to how i experience anti-stim AND overstimulation) and he struggles to understand human customs, phrases, and mannerisms (which i do too!) And although I’m not terribly fond of him being treated so weirdly (he’s kinda… aLiEnAtEd ahAAA), he is treated as an endearing character nonetheless and isn’t really infantilized that much, if at all. (unfortunately papyrus is, a LOT, but it’s nice when they don’t do that) Characters that are hc’d as autistic by autistic folk are generally humanized much more than characters made out to be autistic by allistic people. And humanization is what I, and I imagine many other autistic folk need: It’s to feel humanized in a lifetime of being alienated again and again and again. When I first hc’d Mista as autistic, the first thing I looked at was (actually the first thing i looked at was that he was my favorite character) the fact that he infodumps a lot. And I also infodump a lot. (just look at this post!) Just looking at that led me to notice so many other autistic qualities, and well, I love Mista a lot. Not just for his autistic qualities. (no it’s probably not the qualities you’re thinking of) You might have also seen the post I made about literally all of Passione being autistic, I put a fair amount of the things I noticed about Mista onto there. This blog is mostly going off of the notion that “This Mista is not just autistic now, not much at all has actually changed. Mista, as a character, was actually autistic this whole time, this blog is basically just another Mista blog with the autistic part put more up-front” Which I think is very important when it comes to portraying autistic characters, you’re not really ignoring the fact that they’re autistic, bc it’s a part of who they are, but you’re also not ignoring the fact that they’re a human being who lives and does stuff, yakno, like human beings do. (tbh i am absolutely delighted when people take autistic-coded characters and talk about why they’re so good, I was thrilled when I saw the video talking about why Mista’s character design stands out from the rest, and I love it when people talk about how Papyrus is probably much more powerful than he looks) tl;dr: Hc'ing characters as autistic is generally great and I love it, but not when allistic ppl do it. :) Also portraying autistic characters 101: Treat them like a human being and don’t infantilize them please. :) (tag machine broke, long post, ooc, answer, anon)

[unattainabledreams]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥

Mun note: I’m gonna put this below the cut cause it’s a biiiig tag. But if you do read it, hmu honestly cause I’ve love to chatting.

And if you do it? Let me know! I love learning about people’s connection to their muses, new or old.

My muse is:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless /

Is your character popular in the fandom?  YES / NO.

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK (Mixed impressions depending on who you ask and how you ask it I reckon.)

Are they underrated?  YES / NO.

Were they relevant to the main story?  YES / NO.

Were they relevant to the main character?  YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.

Are they widely known in their world?  YES / NO.

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL.

How strictly do you follow canon?

OG Canon, By default, up until Zack’s canonical death, I follow canon very muchly. (That doesn’t mean I’m not open to earlier plotted divergence though!) If the overall plot ends with death, then I’m alright with that, I love the handing on of the torch from Angeal to Zack to Cloud. My goal is to never minimize that. But for interactions beyond the end of Crisis Core, I have two particular verses that I absolutely adore based on already established lore and my own head-canons for how Zack would continue.

OG Canon Remake Canon, while it’s nice for options and I don’t mind it, on a technical front I think it weakens the ongoing plot for other characters who then wouldn’t have been forced to grow so much themselves. I enjoyed the remake, but regarding Zack it’s not my cup of tea. I’ll write remake by request, but it’s not my default.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutual.

His genuine care for those around him with unrelenting selflessness is both heartwarming -and heart-wrenching.

Zack’s journey from naivety about the world and events around him to recognizing the harm of the organization he’s been directly a part of. He grows in both substance and maturity as he’s increasingly forced to reckon with reality.

Chasing after an idea which is realized but not how he once imagined it. 

While Zack is strong, he’s most certainly not the strongest. I enjoy playing with weakness.

Almost relentless optimism. How he pushes onward to continue trying to pick up the pieces. Additionally as such a genuine character and I hope that love comes through in my portrayal.

Look. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

But on a personal my muse front, despite my love for him I love putting him in situations where I get to break him down to build back up again because that’s his strength as a character.

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  

His early naivety and blind loyalty to ShinRa. (IMO tho, you gotta have a ‘from’ in order to have a ‘to’)

Puppy goofy himbo dummy. (At least, that’s how some people see him.)

Almost relentless optimism.

Some feel he draws away from Cloud’s story.

Just- 

Look again.

What inspired you to rp your muse?  

Have you ever had a time when you’re watching or playing something and there’s just a character you really identify with like, not just ‘oh, me’ - but beyond that in an almost scary way? For where I was in life and what I was going through, Zack was exactly that for me, and I fell in love with how kept pushing through.

So that was four years ago, and I RP’d him privately within friend groups. Said friends of course moved on from the fandom and I just quietly always wanted to come back to him, there were so many things I’d come up with that I hadn’t gotten to using yet in writing.

So late last year when a friend decided to get into FF7 I made my blog(s) to join them. :3 I did go on hiatus when 7R came out to avoid spoilers as I didn’t have access to a console through the lockdown in my country to play, but I’ve finally returned. (And now you have like a million blogs shgjfjkasghfd.)

What keeps your inspiration going?

On a personal note, Zack’s been an intrinsic part of my life for the past four years. Even when friend groups moved on from the fandom in waves coming and going, he’s never really gone from my life because I live in a fairly small country and he’s one of two cosplays I’m known for here in con/geek circles. (I’ve even Cosplayed him for an official event! <3)

On a writing front, honestly, as I said before, I love the way he keeps on keeping on no matter what’s thrown at him. I don’t want his journey to end. I want him to fall again and again but also to conquer those shortcomings and rise stronger.

That doesn’t have to make him the strongest in body, but in mind that makes him a personal hero for me at least so he’s forever an inspiration. Despite the labels applied to his dream, (See my URL) the pursuit as such defines him admirably.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO.

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO. (I have a terrible habit of keeping most of em in my head, but they do exist. I’m trying to get better at posting them casually. I know they're good at helping prospective RP partners work out openings for interactions. ;; )

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO. (Honestly this is usually what happens when I do try to do a HC post, It becomes a drabble incorporating it instead. Whoops?)

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO.

Are you confident in your portrayal?   YES / NO.

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO.

Are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO.

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?

Criticism and Critique. Boy oh boy. That’s gonna be a pass, please.

Unsolicited criticism sucks. That’s not what I’m here for, nor many of us I expect. Miss me with that anxiety spike. I’ve done study in writing for films. I know a lot of technical stuff. But I also enjoy switching that off and allowing things to happen. I’m also a performer, and the the improvisational and spontaneous reactionary side is just as important as the plotted. I’m here for fun to explore what I want with other like minded people. Not for criticism.

‘Hey have you thought about ___’ - that’s okay. If we grow together, cool, that’s great! In fact, it kinda leads into the next question.

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  

Yeeee! Please. Just be aware I’m sometimes slow with my inbox though I am getting better at this!

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why? 

Unless it’s something that clashes between our two muses like a death or lack-thereof, or important shared-background things that needs discussing, I don’t think there’s much reason for it to be brought up. My headcanons exist for the general purpose of ‘without outside influence, this is my default.’ - that’s it. Sometimes they just aren’t relevant.

If it’s simply ‘I don’t like this this idea’ see the next answer.

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?

If someone does, please don’t tell me. You can go write him yourself or find another closer to how you perceive him. My portrayal is my own, and I don’t need to conform to your idea of what Zack would do or say. Neither of us need to waste energy on this.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?

If it’s my muse, fine. But don’t get aggressive at me about it. I’m also a Genesis mun, so I get the rivalry. But cool your jets.

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  

Sure. In fact please. Honestly, @ RP partners, I don’t mind if you quietly fix em yourself. Dyslexia’s an uphill battle. I’ll often edit posts after the fact if I notice my own mistakes, so sure. But @ Readers, please don’t get at my RP partners grammar. This is consent for my writing, not theirs. Though also don’t be a pick-apart grammar police just to get to me. Have some sense about it. ;)

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?

I can be very talkative. Honestly if that surprises you despite my choice of muses with Zack and Gen then gaia help you. So uh, heads up on that. If I haven’t talked to you yet, the key word is ‘yet’ - I’m just working out where to start or for something to react to.

That’s about it, congrats for filling out!

Tagged by:  @lifedxbt​ tagged me for returning from hiatus so I should probably do this. :p Tagging: Uhhhhh, it big. Do if want? Yay. (It took me two hours)

[misssamericanaaa]

My “Analysis”/Headcanons on Chaddick’s Family

Note before I begin - I typed this up in my drafts and it was a very long, unorganized, and rambling post and when I pasted it into Google Docs to edit it, it was three full pages! So this is still long but hopefully more organized and not as rambling!

Just a warning this does have some spoilers for Quests for Glory and The Crystal of Time so if you maybe haven’t read them yet but are interested in the series maybe don’t read this! 

Ok, so I’m aware I’ve only been on this blog a solid 7 hours but I was off work today and my classes for the semester don’t start until next week so I had absolutely nothing to do today, and I ended up spending about 4 of those 7 hours going through various SGE tags here (tl;dr - I’ve read a lot of analysis and headcanons today) and I’m still processing most of it but there was one thing in particular in A Crystal of Time that really blew me away and I actually haven’t seen any thoughts on it here (I may just be missing them) so I thought I’d share my own!

Mistress Gremlaine

So can we talk about Mistress Gremlaine? The lady who works at the Foxwood School for Boys and briefly talked to Hort and Nicola before they ran past her to find Dean Brunhilde and is, so obviously to me, Chaddick’s mother? Which also makes Lady Gremlaine Chaddick’s aunt but I’ll get to that in a hot minute.

What first clued me in was the two boys who came out of the school and talked to their mother, the older one saying that his younger brother started crying in his history class because they were discussing Camelot’s knights “and well, you know”. That line was the kicker, in addition to their named being Caleb and Cedric, following the “C” naming scheme. Going back to Quest for Glory, when the obituary Lady Gremlaine showed Tedros said that Chaddick was survived by his parents and his brothers, aged 17 and 12 (which is what Hort and Nicola approximated their ages to be when they saw them). The older brother took his younger brother to the park to comfort him, and Mistress Gremlaine paid the gardener to keep an eye on them in the park, who said he didn’t blame her for doing so. I’ll be honest, it struck a chord with me. She’s already lost one son, and even though their kingdom is supposedly under Rhian’s protection, who could blame her for wanting to keep her remaining children safe?

I will say, however, that I am a little surprised that neither Hort nor Nicola picked up on this very obvious clue, especially seeing as Hort went to school with Chaddick for three years and even though Nicola didn’t know him, she was with the group when they found his body in Avalon and seems to be very sharp and picks up clues easily. Considering the older brother was only one year older than Chaddick (16 at the time of death), I’d assume there would be some familial resemblance, even with the younger brother as well. That paired with the interaction about Camelot’s knights makes me think that one of them would have figured it out. They’re both smart and I feel as though they tend to pick up on clues such as that. Then again, maybe they were preoccupied with not being caught and finding Dean Brunhilde.

Who Told His Family?

I also have some thoughts about his family in general, particularly with how they found out about his death. I seem to remember in QfG that his death was reported to the Camelot Courier by one of the mongooses (mongeese?) that killed the snakes inside the castle in Avalon. That isn’t necessarily important here though, more just me trying to remember a book I reread only last week.

So who told Chaddick’s family? Are they even aware of how he died? That he was killed by the Snake while on his quest as Tedros’ knight? I have three main theories, all of which are somewhat plausible.

Professor Dovey

Could it have been Dovey? I know she was dealing with some side stuff with her crystal ball but could she have taken a trip to Foxwood to inform his family about his death in person? I remember her being very upset about his death (rightfully so), and I do like the idea of Dovey honoring Chaddick by telling his family in person how their son died.

Lady Gremlaine

As much as I love that headcanon, another more likely possibility is that Lady Gremlaine informed them as soon as she got the news herself. Chaddickw as her nephew after all, and I would understand her wanting to tell his family herself, because she’s also family.

The One That Makes Me Really Sad

Ok the last, most heartbreaking, possibility is that they found out on their own, by reading his obituary in his newspaper. I remember that Dovey was upset it had been printed in the paper without her consent, meaning she may have had the intention of informing his family herself and never got the chance. My heart breaks at the idea of his mother or father reading the newspaper in the morning and suddenly coming across an obituary for their own son. Their own son that they presumably hadn’t seen in 3-4 years and is supposed to be off on a magical quest and now he’s dead and they don’t even know how.

Or it was one of his brothers, flipping through the paper looking for news of Camelot and then there’s their brother, except it’s his obituary and he’s dead. Their own brother, who they grew up playing and talking with and loving, who’s supposed to be a knight for the most legendary kingdom, the king of Camelot’s liege, and he’s dead.

Or they don’t even know and someone mentions it in passing, or asks for more information and ends up breaking the news to them.

(I did not know I had this many feelings about this topic, but whoops here we are.)

“Aunt Grisella”

Ok now it’s time to talk about Lady Gremlaine as Chaddick’s aunt, because that really came out of the blue for me. For a hot second, I was pretty horrified that Rhian and Japeth were his cousins but I suppose we dodged that bullet, although Evelyn Sader as their mother just feels random but that’s for another day.

She’s obviously his aunt because a) Chaddick’s mother is Mistress “Gremlaine” and b) Chaddick’s brothers referring to their “Aunt Grisella”. That’s said and done.

It also connected a scene from earlier that seemed a bit random to me, when Agatha, Sophie, and Tedros found the crystal of Chaddick with Lady Gremlaine before leaving for his quest. That just seemed off to me, so that’s somewhat cleared up. Tedros also mentioned that Lady Gremlaine had taken a liking to Chaddick, unlike Tedros and Agatha. Which brights us to our next point…

Was Chaddick aware she was his aunt? I would initially assume he knew, as his brothers knew Lady Gremlaine as their aunt, but it seems odd to me that he wouldn’t say anything to Tedros that his new steward just so happens to be Chaddick’s aunt. Tedros and Chaddick were supposed to be best friends, and Tedros is now his king, so it’s weird to me that he wouldn’t mention anything. There’s something off there and I really can’t put my finger on it, and probably won’t be able to unless there’s more information released in One True King.

Also, just me thinking out loud, if Chaddick knew Lady Gremlaine as his aunt, was he aware of her being King Arthur’s steward before he was born/when he was young? I’ll go out on a limb and assume that Lady Gremlaine was very private about her time at Camelot.

I’m also feeling that there was some mystery between her and Chaddick, because she was the one that told Tedros of his death and nothing came up in that time about being related to him. That may not have been something to mention at the time, but if Chaddick was aware she was his aunt I feel like it’s really odd that Tedros didn’t know. Also, that has to suck big time for Lady Gremlaine to learn of her nephew being murdered and then having to break the news to his king and supposed best friend and comfort Tedros, all while mourning herself.

I really feel like I’m missing a major piece of the puzzle with Lady Gremlaine being related to Chaddick but I feel like I’ve picked apart all of the relevant information we have at the time...I guess that’ll be something to hope for clarification in OTK!

I think that’s about all I have to say on this right now, but I also just want to say that I already been knew what I’m about to say but writing this post made me think of it a bit differently. Chaddick was killed way too soon. His death was a mere plot device and didn’t fit his character (well, what little we knew about him anyway). There was such great potential for character development and so many ‘what-ifs” in terms of being a part of The Camelot Years while being alive...he was done dirty. I wouldn’t say I mourn the character mainly (although I definitely still do), but I mourn what could have been and what a great character he would have made to the story. But that’s a topic that’s been covered very well by many people and also not the main point! I’m really just starting out on here and I just wanted to put my thoughts out there and in one place! :)

[takaraphoenix]

So, @kimmycup​ tagged me in this game. Let’s do this. Alternately titled:

Let me rant about the difference in receiving feedback on FFN vs AO3

Because I am really getting lost in the math behind “most popular” fic. And it’s most definitely more than just “reaching a different audience” when the feedback for one and the same fic differs between over 1k comments on one site vs not even reaching 100 comments on another site.

Author Name: Takara_Phoenix

Fandoms You Write For: Okay so let‘s only involve the ones I am still actively involved with, not the ones that are like... eight years old and I haven’t thought of them once, yeah? That’d be: Percy Jackson, Shadowhunters, Marvel, Rise of the Guardians/How to Train Your Dragon, Detective Conan/Magic Kaito, Vampire Academy, Jungle Book, DC Comics/the Arrowverse, Descendants

Where You Post: AO3 and FFN, but occasionally also on tumblr - when it’s prompts or drabbles

Most Popular One-Shot: Depends on where you ask. And what you define as popular. Personally, the only value I see are in comments - kudos are literally just the press of one button, they mean nothing, and hits aren’t an indicator of much either considering it counts as a hit even when you opt out after a paragraph.

I’ve only had my AO3 for five years now, meaning that the fics on FFN still had four more years to simmer on there and gather attention, I suppose. Meaning, a fic posted for the first time obviously gets more attention than a four years later mass repost on another site.

On AO3, the oneshit with most comment threads would be How to Court the Prettiest Omega Ever in Five Years or Less, my first PJO ABOverse fic, featuring Nicercy. Which, you know, is only 37 comments on there. Seriously I genuinely blame the existence of the kudo function for the overall lackluster comment-response on AO3 because “press one button vs actually writing words”... but that’s a different conversation to be had. (I mean, seriously, in comparison, this fic has 51 comments on FFN... and it is by far not the one with most comments I have over there).

The clear winner if you look at FFN is Something Went Wrong, my first Minotaur/Percy smut fest with a whooping 116 comments. And yes. Positive. Genuinely did not expect that when after weeks of debating, I decided to post this story. *chuckles* (Again, for comparison, this fic got a total of 8 comments on AO3... eight... the difference there is staggering... Which, I’d like to tag on that, on top of the kudo-nonsense, the fact that AO3 displays total amount of comments to the readers and not comment threads is also misleading and I don’t think it helps, because I think you’re more inclined if you see it’s only 8 comment-threads in total on a fic you like vs it showing you 16 comments as the total comment-count.)

Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story: THIS IS TOO HARD TO ANSWER. I’d have to consult my chart, but that hasn’t been updated in ages. Because overall amount of comments means little if you don’t also take into account the amount of chapters - 50 comments on a oneshot are a lot, 50 comments on a 5 chapter fic, not so much, and 50 comments on a 50 chapter is frustrating to receive.

Okay, let me go full nerd on this one. Y’all know I love charts. There was a time where I was interested enough in finding this out that I had a chart going of all my multiple chapter fics. With a collumn on how many chapters the story had at that point in time, how many total comments on AO3, how many total comments on FFN and what, by combining those two numbers and dividing them through the chapter-count, was the average amount of comments per chapter.

However, that chart had last been updated on December 31st 2016. There’s been a lot of influx, lot of new stories and other stories gaining/losing popularity, so when I now say Meet the di Angelos with a 2016 average of 57,25 comments/chapter, that is completely exclusing ten fics I wrote since then.

Damn now I really wanna update the charts...

Also if you can’t tell by now how much actual feedback and comments mean to me, I genuinely don’t know how else to convey it... xD”

If you go by total comment-count - which, again, is misleading because you gotta keep the chapter-count in mind - it’d be Chasing Fireflies on FFN with 1749 comments (on 102 chapters. And, again, for comparison, 88 comment-threads on AO3. 88 vs 1749 is insane) and Percy and the Ghost King of Summers High on AO3 with 749 comments (on 50 chapters. On FFN that’s actually on 990 comments. Far smaller difference here compared to other stories).

Though I dunno, if you measure popular by fanart received, Summers High comes in with five, while my Chasingverse is in with 6... and multiple fanfictions written for it.

Favorite Story You Wrote: Favorite to write, or favorite to reread? There’s a difference there. I’m insanely proud of Chasing Fireflies and the plot and world I created there, the character development. I... don’t really reread it it’s over 500k long I don’t have that time.

Currently, I am really loving The Primal Instinct, it is sooo much fun to write, I get to put basically all my favorite headcanons in there, I’ll get to write Aline and Helen more and Jace’s interactions with others, it features both my favorite OT3s at once. (And it is faaar from my most popular one. Just, feel like mentioning this because my numbers-obsession may read as only writing for comments, which I don’t, I mainly write for myself. The comments are just... very, very nice treats to receive. Also, I love numbers and charts and were curious to see if there is a kind of trend there in what does receive most attention sooo...)

Story You Were Nervous to Post: Uuuh every new thing. Every time I step outta my comfort zone. Trying out a new pairing for the first time. Venturing into a new fandom for the first time. Experimenting with a new kink and wondering if this would be too much. Literally every single time, still.

How Do You Choose Your Titles: On a whim. I suck at titles. Mostly I try to force alliterations because I am a sucker for alliterations, but otherwise I do try to go with “as it says on the tin”, or I try a pun/being clever. Aside from my Triton/Percy fics. Every single fic I’ve written for them is named after a song from Disney’s The Little Mermaid franchise and I have yet to run out of songtitles to use for fics and hey, by then they’ll probably have included a new song in the live-action remake so there’s that! :D

Do You Outline: Depends. Oneshots? No. I just write those. Multiple-chapter fics? ...Depends. xD

If I have a clear vision for where it’s going to go, I do tend to divide into chapters and make myself small notes on what goes into said chapters. Mostly, it’s just a rambled “and x happens and then y” at the end though and then I see how I can make it fit into chapters.

Complete: 795 stories on AO3! Damn, I’ve been busy.

In-Progress: As of right now, 4. Because this week features my Ace Awareness 7-parter, though technically we’re right now down to 3 multi-chapter fics because the next one is only due to be released and join the rotation!

Coming Soon/Not Yet Started: Well, that is two entirely different things now.

Coming Soon:

Shadowhunters, Asmodeus/Jace, “The Royal Consort of Edom” oneshot on the 23rd

Shadowhunters, Magnus/Alec/Jace, “Nesting 101″ oneshot on my birthday this Saturday

Percy Jackson, Nico/Percy, “Something Borrowed, Something Green” oneshot on the 30th

Shadowhunters, Magnus/Jace, “Dancing with the Monsters in the Night” an out-side-of-schedule oneshot for Halloween

And I do think that that is what constitutes “soon”.

Not Yet Started:

HTTYD/RotG, Hiccup/Jack, “The Origin of the Blue Hoodie”, planned for November 27th

Shadowhunters, Magnus/Jace, “Set-Up by the Guard-Cats”, planned for December 4th

Descendants/PJO, Nico/Percy, Ben/Carlos, Uma/Audrey, “Demigod Defenders of Auradon”, planned for December 11th

A-and that is as far as I have planned my schedule ahead. Those three are the only fics on my personal schedule that I haven’t started working on yet. I don’t like to plan ahead too much, because then you just completely lose interest in the story by the time you get around to actually writing it.

Do You Accept Prompts: Prompts, not so much. Requests, yeah. For one, prompts always seem so demanding, while requests are more polite - and also more structured. Prompts are always like “here have one quick trope thrown at your head” and like... I do have a well-enough planned-out schedule with more than enough fics of my own set, I don’t need to try and turn one random prompt into an actual story. But if someone has a specific request, a pairing and an actual plot, that they really wanna see, I do always hear them out, I may not always like the pitch and thus not accept them all, but on the overall I do accept requests.

More inclined to accept birthday requests than random requests, because random requests would be put into the rotation of my schedule and, well come on that shouldn’t be a surprise, they tend to be pushed off then in favor of fic ideas I came up with myself because there’s nearly always more enthusiasm about writing an idea that you came up with yourself than the idea of someone else. Whereas birthday requests have a set date that doesn’t disturb my schedule and I am a big softie who has a weakness for getting gifts myself so I do like to do something nice for someone so they get something special for their birthday.

Upcoming Story You Are Most Excited to Write: Most excited to write? Well, that’d be the Descendant/PJO crossover atm, because that is something very new and shiny and I do love shiny, new things to experiment on. But also The Prince of Pluto, my next multiple-chapter fic that I have already started writing.

Tagging: Whoever wants to do it! <3