#Is it a my cert issue or a tumblr issue | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

echofromtheabyss · 2 years ago

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I feel like what people are calling masking... in me, it's not a whole ass Fake Self. It's more like... being totally focused on being like whatever it's necessary for me to be like, and being a High Self Monitor, and usually it's downstream of a high grade special interest, and only that really gives me the executive function to portray that. But it's not socialize masked vs socialize unmasked. It's... socialize or just stay in bed all day, lol?? Which is really more about how I am feeling? It's not like there is this Ideal Autistic Self that is in any way actually functional as a person, in my case. It's not like I'm performing something I'm not. It's performing as in Living A Life.

Usually my identity shifts are connected to whatever my Non-Relational Limerent Object is. Because I experience a similar set of feelings when I'm in a new rabbit hole that I would experience when crushing on someone. In common with what some people say that supposed Borderline is supposedly like (that you can supposedly outgrow it in your 40s)... at some point, I stopped being limerent. (I am also only in a really good, lasting LTR since my 40s.)

But at that same point that I stopped being limerent, I stopped really having an all consuming interest, either. For years after burning out the last time, I just didn't have an interest in anything except posting on Tumblr/etc, and trying to stay alive.

That I am not doing what I recognize as masking is only because I'm not interacting to begin with.

'Unmasking' isn't me being some spontaneous free spirit trapped in here that finally gets out, it's actually me hitting my limit and being trapped inside the figurative glass jar, dissociating. Or I can't control some aspect of my body or I just can't even move from exhaustion. I don't enjoy it! If I'm able to get through

Now, there are some interaction modes that are lower energy consumption, like being on Safe Mode. If I don't have to consciously be "on" all the time around people, that's an example. If I'm actually getting something positive out of the interaction (positive attention and or something *I* experience as a fun interaction) then that also makes it less draining.

Outside of autism discourse, there have been whole discussions about this dynamic that present it as a normie one, so it was possible for me to not frame it via the autism frame for over a decade.

Especially when my special interest was in a field that has a culture of "calling" and workaholism, and a *mythology* that it's made up of smart people with actual prosocial traits. And also for the first time, my school major was not working against my brain (I'm going to talk in another post about WHY "softer" subjects can actually be harder for some ppl than STEM adjacent subjects) and it's a work culture that mythologizes being a go getter. It's also based on regulations and is a very very culturally and socially diverse labor pool. It wasn't just that I was performing normie to be in health, I WAS more normie because I was in health. And when I burned out the first time - I didn't recognize it as autistic burnout, because I had a strong narrative of it being a statistical norm for health care workers. Also, I had an ADHD diagnosis and was on meds for a while and *that's* what explained me enough to myself. But once I was in health work - ppl who didn't actually live with me, didn't see the problems, even when there were real autism spectrum-comorbid/adjacent LD issues that kept me from being able to keep my certs or get more. And there, I was just one of a large number of people who washed out.

I relate a chunk of my social performance stuff as closer to Spoons Discourse than Masking Discourse.

And it's not that I was ever performing anything... I have a strong, passionate interest that is taking over my life in the moment.

I went through a phase of dressing retro classics and Dieselpunk, with a short black bob and red lipstick, when I was studying graphic design.

But when I'm feeling ick, I'm just ick

#i have weird viewpoints about whether personality traits or even just being a jerk should be DSM and that PD therapy should focus on trauma

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astormyjet · 3 years ago

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Winter of 2018 - Summer of 2021 TIME FILES WHEN YOU’RE IN YOUR 20s!!!!

OH BOY. It’s been three years (or more) since I updated this. “Time is a weird soup!” to quote a fave. I guess I quit tumblr around the time there was a purge of content and creators and a smack down on a lot of the fandom communities. Tumblr has always been something of a crapshow though so I’ve been more productive with my time than I was in some ways, but I’ve also found other ways to waste my time. *cough twitter/netflix/youtube/MTGArena cough*.

General Life Achievements since 2018 -JLPT N3 GET in 2019! -Blackbelt GET in 2018! -TESOL 120 Hour and BE 50 Hour Cert from online provider GET in 2021 -STUDENT LOAN BANISHED (Thank you grandparents) -Survived Apartment flooding in early 2020. -Mystery anxiety related illness and chronic pain in my left leg from early 2020 - Present. -A mythical 6th and 7th year on the JET Programme. -Started posting on Instagram a lot more about my wanderings around Matsuyama/Uwajima. Mainly old buildings and stray cats. @astormyknight -Surviving so far in Japan with old rona-chan.

2018 was rough. I was given an additional school in the first semester (March to July) as we had someone find a better job. I enjoyed it, but it was a bit of a rough go especially when I was transferred that August after three fantastic years at Tsubaki JHS and ES and only a semester there. I legit went through the five stages of grief - which I think is another reason I stopped blogging. I was given my current base school along with four other schools. Going from 2(3) to 5 schools was a bit of an adjustment. I still feel a bit spread out.

That said, I keep running into teachers and students who were at the Tsubaki’s. The teachers shuffle around every April, so it's always a lottery with which new faces are going to be old friends (or enemies…). A couple of kids moved and transferred into my current schools from Tsubaki too. So I have one kid I can say I've been teaching for 6 out of the 7 years I've been here!

One of the kids who was in JHS 3rd grade when I first got here (in 2015!) hangs out around one of my favorite cafes, so I got chatting with him recently. He's in his second year of nursing school - his class nearly broke me in the first year, it was really a trial by fire with those kids. I was 22 then, and he’s 20 now, so it was interesting chatting to him about that first year of teaching. His younger sister was one of my favorite students too, she was in the group of kids that graduated in the March of 2018, the year group that went through Tsubaki JHS with me - they’re newly minted University students now!

This Thursday morning when I was cycling in to work, a kid who was 2nd year JHS when I left (so 2nd or 3rd year JHS now) pulled up with their Mum in a van and got their mamachari out of the back to bike to school. The franticness of it all was hilarious. Their Mum legit sat on the horn until I pulled over. I was so happy to run into this kid, even at social distance and both of us late to work/school - because we both remembered each other and as they were going around the corners they were yelling each time they turned and humming the old elementary school directions chant and pelting me with questions about what I’ve been up to.

I've had so many students and schools now, that everything is kind of running into a blur. I remember flashes of kids faces and voices, random memories of in class or out of class shenanigans out of the blue. Also, I now, more than ever, have issues remembering kids' names, but I still know their faces (even with their masks), whose homeroom class they were in, who their friends were and which club they were in. I get random flashbacks to past conversations with them when I see them on the street or we run into each other. I feel bad because the first thing former students ask is ‘Do you remember my name?’ and I always have to be like, ‘Honestly, no, but I remember you did this on x day, x month in x classroom’.

Socially in 2018 -2019 - a few of our friends went home and things shook up a little. Our DnD group changed a bit - one of our players stepped into the role forever DM (THANK YOU RALPH). From memory the newbies were great - some of them just went home at the start of last month and it’s weird not seeing them around (JESS DO YOUR BEST!). I think we only have one or two people left from that rotation. There’s no 6th year ALTs, and only two 5th years.

Aug 2018 - Aug 2019 was the year of Hiura - my mountain school. Dang man, they were so cool. The students of the JHS and the ES combined barely hit 30, so each class was between 3-10 students depending on the grade. It was easier to get to know the kids, their abilities and their goals than it has been for me at other schools. I miss it so bad, being in nature once a week did my country-kid heart so good! The bugs! The frogs! The river! The mountain! The monkeys! The lizards! The dilapidated houses and hidden shrines!!!! The random crabs in the English room...I forgot that there was such a thing as freshwater crabs, and being right next to a river, the invasion wasn’t as out of place as I first thought...

The area is so picturesque and calming. Every week up there was a small adventure (after getting over my motion sickness from the bus ride up). The kids were constantly pranking either myself or the main English teacher. There was always some new weird bug or lizard in a tank to be educated about. There were chickens on the way to the JHS that used to escape from their cardboard box prisons to run riot on the gardens. There were old people to freak out with my youth and foreignness! The kids also got to do a lot of extra classes, sumiyakai (making charcoal the traditional way), planting and maintaining rice paddies, setting up vegetable gardens, raising fireflies, conserving a special breed of fire lily (only found in this particular mountain valley) and another rare flower, wilderness training ect.

I wish I could have stayed there a lot longer but SOMEONE (read...the BoE) decided that schools had to be shuffled again(thank goodness the dude who has it now was able to keep it from the 2021 shuffle, he's the best fit for the school). I had so many good memories from there, I wish I had been more consistent in writing it down. I do have a bunch of photos and videos from there though, so that's nice. The only thing I don’t miss is the bus trip up and down - not only was it motion sickness, there was a healthy dose of fear each ride as the driver brought us perilously close to the edge of the mountain drop…

2019 - 2020 was interesting. With the school I got given instead of the Hirua’s I was roped into more demonstration lessons which was a lot of pressure because I was also involved quite heavily with the JHS observation and training lessons too. They were somewhat rewarding, the third graders are now super smart 5th graders, but the teachers who need to embrace the new curriculum and ways of teaching really haven’t taken on anything from the lessons....

Outside of work as well, I was given the chance, thanks to an ALT buddy of mine, to join in with the local festival. It's been one of the biggest highlights of my time here, and I am gutted it’s been cancelled for the last two years, but I understand the reason…. I was able to travel to Okinawa too during that summer for an international Karate seminar with the Dojo I train with. I met the head of the style I currently practice and a bunch of people from around the world. I also got to see Shuri castle before it burned down. So that was a stroke of luck. One of the places I want to go when/if we get out of this pandemic is Okinawa. I want to see more of those Islands so bad. Just before the whole pandemic thing too - I managed to see the Rugby World Cup, a Canada vs NZ match, I even ran into Tana Umanga in Oita city!!!

2019 - 2020 was supposed to be my last year on JET, so I was frantically Job hunting. I went to the Career Fair in Osaka in early Feb/Late January 2020. I applied and got interviewed for a position in Sendai in early Jan 2020. In the end though - the Rona hit. We started hearing whispers of it around the end of 2019, then the cruise boats happened, and then Japan refused to cancel the Olympics...every holiday season there is a new wave of infections, my nurse friends in Tokyo are struggling....my teacher friends in more populous areas of Japan are struggling…

JET couldn't get new ALTs for 2020-2021, I took the extra year when it was eventually offered, as the one job I had managed to get a serious offer for was hesitating because with the rona setting in, things were uncertain. There was a lot of time spent adjusting to the new rules surrounding what we could do in class with the kids as well as textbook change. Schools shut on and off during the spring months.

I also got a reminder of my mortality mid May with an unrelated illness which is still smacking me around a bit - stress/age, it does things to the human body it has no right to. It's only been in the last three months I’ve been able to exercise like I used to, I’ve put on a bunch of weight I can't shrug off (one part medication, another part diet) My relationship with food needs to change, and I really need a kitchen that allows me for more than one pan meals. I also need to figure out what to do with a left leg that is in constant pain from the knee down and a heart that misses beats when stressed out (mentally and physically…).

My apartment also got flooded by the guy upstairs at one point, I spent most of late February/early March living in a hotel while my walls and floor got redone - I think this was one of the things that really stressed me out and kicked my anxiety right up a notch, it was right when things were getting REALLY bad with rona-chan in Hokkaido and schools were shutting down here as it was filtering into the prefecture and so Japan closed schools for the first time…

Classes in covid times have been weird. We’ve been wearing facemasks full time since the early stages of the pandemic (March 2020) - so I admit that I get a bit pissed off seeing both Americans and New Zealanders back home bitching about just having to start wearing them full time in public. I have asthma and have been suffering with the things on during the 30*C plus with high 90s humidity summers. Teachers were offered vaccines late July 2021, just days before the Olympics were open - and I finished my two shots in the middle of August. But the overall distribution and take up of the jab has been slow. As mentioned above, we can't play a lot of the games we used to play with kids in classes anymore, and a lot of the activities outlined in the textbook curriculum need to be adjusted too, so we’ve had to be creative. We use hand sanitizer a lot more too. One of the things I miss the most though, is eating lunch with the kids.

Socially from summer 2020 - now 2021 we played a lot of DnD and board games, both online and in person when we could. There were no new ALTs again for the 2021-2022 JET year, and those of us who were in 6th year were offered a 7th. Four out of six of us took it. As a whole we’re down from a peak of 38 ALTs for Junior High and Elementary school to 22 for now. We hopefully will get a new person at the end of September, and 4 more in November. Which will bring us to 27. This has led to ANOTHER round of school shuffles.

Summer vacation has been weird the last two years. With rona-chan, we haven’t really been able to travel. All the summer festivals (all the Autumn and Winter ones too!) have been cancelled, so the changing of seasons just feels, wrong. I dunno. There is so much we all miss from pre-rona-chan, and so much that doesn’t happen that makes this just feel like one long long unending year of sadness, coldness, raininess, unbearable heat and repeat. I’m tired. Time is going so fast, but so.dang.slow.

I lost my favorite school (AGAIN GDI!!!) and gained the school I taught a semester at in 2019....I had my first day there on Wednesday. Schools actually started back on September 1st so there was some drama as the BoE didn’t communicate fast enough about our school changes. We legit got told on the 27th of August (on a Friday) our schools were changing effective September 1st, but somehow some of our schools found out on the Monday 30th August. In July we were told we would be changing schools at the end of September, so.a lot of ALTs and schools were left short changed, not having opportunities to say goodbye to co-workers or students/having their planning for the semester more or less thrown out the window too. I love my job. I really dislike the way the BoE treats us, the Japanese assistant language teachers and our schools.

The new school I have is used to having an ALT there twice a week, who plans all the lessons and executes them. I’m at three elementary schools. I'm only at each once a week, I want to plan, but being that I miss an entire lesson in between visits, it's going to be difficult to do so. Not impossible, but being that I'm already doing it for two other schools, who are at two different places in the textbook ah…….. From what I have talked to my new supervisor about though, it sounds like the teachers have taken on more of the lesson planning and I'll be able to contribute ideas when I'm there. I just want to and wish I could do more without being confused all the time. (This is all usually done in my second language too, not in English so extra levels of confusion and miscommunication abound).

I feel like this at my JHS too a lot of the time. I want to contribute more, but even with constant communication with my main in school supervisor (who is a badass and pretty much on the same page about everything with me) I still feel about as useful as tits on a bull. Especially now that classes have been cancelled and or shortened, there's less time to do stuff. Any game or activity I plan is usually cut in favor of making up time in the textbook. When I'm in class, I'm back to being a tape recorder, the fun police and general nuisance.　

Also in the last week...my two of my schools were shut due to students testing positive for the rona. This is the second time my schools have had a scare in the last 8 months. And by shut, I mean the students were all at home, but the teachers all had to come into the office. Because why not I guess….. I mean, the cases increasing is really not unexpected with the amount of people who were travelling over obon and the increase of cases due to the Olympics/Japan being slow on vaccinating/delta being the dominant strain/Japan's leaders doing relatively little except asking shops and restaurants to limit people coming in at one time and closing before 8pm. I know my schools weren't the only one shut either - but still High Schools were having their sports days this week. I kept on seeing groups of kids hanging in the park after, so that was a little bit nerve wracking.

It's just frustrating - we’ve been on half days to “minimize the risk of infection” for kids and teachers, as if only being at school from 8am through to 1pm is going to reduce the risk. My schools have only just started testing out Microsoft teams and Zoom lesson equipment. Thankfully our school’s run in this time was contained real quick, the family was super good about informing us when they got their results back, and the fact they needed to be tested. The homeroom teacher and the students from the same class were the only ones tested, and they all came back clear, which was nice. But the information came back so SLOW.

I’m a little irritated because I found out on Wednesday night what was going on, and even if I am vaccinated, I am super worried that I will end up being the covid monkey due to being at different schools three days out of five. I think other than being worried that I will catch it myself and get real sick, my biggest fear is that I will be protected from bad symptoms from the vaccine, but still be able to pass it onto some of my more vulnerable friends and students. The whole thing is a mess.

Other than Covid and BoE drama, life is good. I’ve had a couple of other big changes - both fantastic and not so great, but yeah. I have my health (and health insurance!) for now. I have a job, for now. I have a sense of existential dread for the next 12 months, but we’ll see where we end up. Life post JET is going to be way less cushy and I am TERRIFIED. I mean, I have a BA in Eng/Ling and no idea what to do with it…..because I am NOT suited for academia.

TLDR: Love my job. Don’t like the system. What is life? Future scary.

#life on JET #blog post #life in Japan #jet programme #jet program

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tisalovestory · 3 years ago

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Oh dear I haven’t done this in a while I forgot how to do this properly lmao

I’m Cadence (19), some of my friends call me “Cad”, a few of my irls call me “C” because they are too lazy to type my name out each time lmao

I speak Cantonese, English, and Mandarin but I can read Japanese quite decently (took 4 years of class and got quite a few certs but I don’t even use it outside of translating captions in fanart eh)

Every now and then, I pretend to not know English when I see bs online

I have a bit of a merch hoarding issue

I talk in discord emotes

I love history and literature but I’m sadly a management school student

I’ve been writing on tumblr for quite a while now and currently writing for haikyuu+jujutsu kaisen (kinda writing for genshin too, but I’m in denial…)

(my masterlist links back to my old blog and… there’s a lot of stuff on there LMAO)

I post both sfw and nsfw content (if you’re not of age, please refrain from interacting with my nsfw stuff ty I appreciate that)

I interact with and also writes dark content occasionally (I use the “tw: xx” format for potential triggers)

#cadence is doing blog stuff

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askagamedev · 2 years ago

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Why Devs don’t respond directly to good player feedback in a timely manner, even though we ask for it

It should be well-established that players providing reasonable, well-written feedback about what they (dis)like about a game and why is the best and most actionable way to see real change enacted in the game dev process. I’ve had many productive development conversations with coworkers that came about (and several actually initiated real change behind the scenes) because of useful community feedback. I can’t remember a single instance in my entire career where I’ve ever participated in a serious development conversation brought on because of petitions, boycotts, or review bombs.

Unfortunately, the big problem with the way things work is that, from the outside looking in, the engaged community players get the exact same results from both approaches - radio silence. This happens in no small part because we work on a different time scale than most player expectation. Unless the problem is some kind of literal service-interrupting game-crashing issue, chances are good the players won’t see the results of our work for another three to six months at earliest. For most live service games, we’re often working one or two patches in the future - if the live game is on content patch A, we’re usually testing, fixing bugs and locking up in content patch B for cert/submission while developing new stuff in content patch C. If we receive community feedback and make changes based on that feedback, it will almost certainly go into the patch that’s still in development - patch C. Because most patch deliveries happen every three months, this means that it is often anywhere from three to six months before the community gets to see the results of their feedback in game. The topic du jour of conversation will likely have moved on by that point.

This assumes that the feedback is for changes that we can make fairly easily, like game balance and adjusting data values. For more resource-intensive requests like asking for better representation for LGBTQIA+ or people of color in the game, I would assume that the community asking for this would want it done right rather than quickly. In order to gather those resources, create the content and validate it, and push it live properly and respectfully, it would take a significant amount of time - especially if we can’t do it all in-house (e.g. if it requires licensor sign-off, voice acting, new animations, etc.). Content created as a result of resource-intensive feedback is likely not to see the light of day for a year at the earliest even if we really want to do it, and even then likely not until the next game (or major expansion) which may be multiple years in the future.

This unfortunately all looks exactly to the community an awful lot like radio silence. We can’t read the community in on what’s going on behind closed doors - things get cut, designs change for a variety of reasons, goals and targets change. When the players are faced with mostly radio silence no matter what they do, joining a collective action with other players like signing a petition, adding to a review bomb, or declaring participation in a boycott can certainly feel a lot more validating and appealing than writing reasonable feedback into what feels like the void. This is really unfortunate because I can promise you that the reasonable feedback is far, far more useful to us as developers and also far, far more likely to result in actual change than any boycott, review bomb, or petition ever will. I’m not sure there’s a good solution to this problem. If you can think of one (that doesn’t involve us spending significant dev time reading forums instead of developing the game), I’m all ears.

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#dealing with community #Game Feedback #Angry Gamers #player mentality #player feedback #live updates

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witch-and-sorcery · 4 years ago

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ℭ𝔬𝔪𝔪𝔢𝔫𝔠𝔢𝔯 𝔲𝔫 𝔤𝔯𝔦𝔪𝔬𝔦𝔯𝔢

☾ Le grimoire est un livre personnel qu’il est bon de remplir en fonction de notre ressentit. Il est parfois compliqué, surtout pour un sorcier ou une sorcière débutante, de trouver quoi mettre dans son précieux grimoire. Le besoin vient avec le temps et l’expérience et, c’est pour cela que j’ai grappillé à travers mon (maigre) vécu ainsi que des sources à droite à gauche une liste de points qui peuvent peut-être vous inspirer sur le contenu de vos pages blanches.

🌙 Un sommaire (c’est toujours utile, qu’importe le livre)

🌙 Une page vous décrivant, votre signe astrologique, votre pierre de naissance, pourquoi pas vos inspirations personnelles. Une page sur vous.

🌙 La roue de l’année

🌙 Une description des Sabbats, pourquoi pas des Esbats et comment célébrer chacun d’eux

🌙 Les musiques pouvant accompagner les Sabbats et les différents rituels.

🌙 Les autels leur forme, leur composition et à quelles occasions

🌙 Les différentes phases de la lune, leurs bienfaits et leurs effets

🌙 Les différents types de magie

🌙 Les différents types de sorcières

🌙 Les différents panthéons / ceux que vous vénérez (si il y en a)

🌙 Ne pas hésiter à se renseigner et consigner le folklore / l’histoire de la magie et des sorcières dans le pays qui vous parle. Le vôtre où un dont vous êtes issu

🌙 Les mythes locaux qui peuvent abonder selon vos croyances

🌙 Les propriétés magiques des plantes / des bougies / des cristaux et pierres précieuses / des huiles essentielles

🌙 Les différents tarots et quelques types de tirages de base

🌙 Les runes

🌙 Les sigils, ce qu’ils sont et comment faire les siens

🌙 Créer un cercle magique

🌙 Les sorts, comment et quand les créer et les incanter

🌙 Les baguettes

🌙 Les pendules

🌙 Les signes astrologiques et les constellations

🌙 Comment faire de l’eau lunaire ou solaire avec les énergies qui vont avec

🌙 Les types de potions et leur confection

🌙 La purification, le bannissement, le nettoyage

🌙 La fa��on dont vous pratiquez votre spiritualités, vos rituels, vos routines du matin, du soir et des jours spéciaux

🌙 Un glossaire sorcier

🌙 Une bibliographie des références “sorcières” que vous jugez utiles, ou même des sites et tumblr

🌙 Des méditations

🌙 Des rituels magiques

═══════════════

🌑 La liste est longue et je n’ai pas tout inscrit. J’invite à chacun d’entre vous à relever ce qui vous parle et vous plait le plus, ce que vous jugez utile et pertinent pour vous et de les noter dans un coin avant d’organiser votre grimoire. Pour ma part, j’ai commencé le mien par la roue de l’année, les Sabbats et les rituels associés car c’est ce que je pratique intensivement. Mais vous pouvez très bien envisager de commencer par autre chose. L’important est qu’il soit à votre image et j’insiste là dessus : ne vous comparez en aucun cas avec quelqu’un d’autre. Votre grimoire est à vous et peut toujours être perfectible certes, mais il représente votre évolution. Vous changerez peut-être de support un jour et personne n’a a vous juger là-dessus. Soyez fier de vos écrits !

🌑 Souvent, avant de savoir quelles pages je mets et dans quel ordre, je me fais un brouillon sur un petit carnet à côté. Ca me permet d’annoter quelques petites idées avant de me lancer dans le grimoire ‘final’. Je sais que l’écriture du grimoire est différente en fonction de tout un chacun. Je préfère faire cette méthode quitte à perdre un peu de temps et que certains le trouve moins “authentique” (en soit c’est pas très grave) que d’écrire, raturer et regretter. Je ne suis pas perfectionniste mais j’ai ce besoin de satisfaction quand j’ouvre le mien donc prenez le temps d’aller à votre rythme.

🌑 N’hésitez jamais à coller des photos, scotcher des plantes, herbes et fleurs séchées, pourquoi pas des mini-bijoux plats ou des souvenirs.

⇨ Le grimoire, au même titre que le livre des ombres dans un autre contexte, ne se montre à personne d’après la plupart des croyances. Mais libre à vous de choisir ce que vous souhaitez faire.

Crédits : C’est mon grimoire ! :D / this is my grimoire ! :D

#grimoire #beginner witch #witch #witchy #french #paganism #paganisme #sorcier #sorciere #notebook #occult #baby witch

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ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is · 5 years ago

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I received a question longer than 8 parts that I’m going to post here (it was off anon, so I’m not revealing the identity of the question asker). I’m not going to answer it because my FAQ very clearly sets an 8 question limit and also as you will see it didn’t actually provide a lot of useful information despite the length. I am however going to talk through some of the issues, specifically relating to unnecessary information. Needless to say this will be a very long post hence the read more link.

Before I begin I want to give the origins of the 8 question limit:

-it’s an arbitrary number. felt it was generous and iirc I did go back and look at some past questions to see what was on the longer but still reasonable side

-I did it mainly because copying and pasting each individual question is tedious and also there is a limit to how much I’d like to read and also some people see ‘no more than 8 parts’ and instead of interpreting this as “I should edit myself as thoughtfully as possible” say “I should expand whatever I have to say to 8 parts long, even if it really is only 6 parts worth of material” so 8 was a number I could live with.

-I have yet to find an 8+ part question that couldn’t have been edited to a much shorter question while still keeping the same amount, case in point:

I'm asking for outside help because I've been on a hamster wheel for years where I believe I found my type get happy for a couple hours/days, find all the "signs" of me being that type all along and then...wake up not believing it. Or I see/read something that type is supposed to do/think like that doesn't fit me at al, or see someone I'd like to be like that it's another type and start digging again. I desperately need to arrive at a final typing because it's driving me crazy, I can't quit 1/9

Any preamble that amounts to “could you please type me” can be summarized to “could you please type me?”, a 5 -word phrase. This might however be the preamble that hits the most of my “oh I do not want to engage with this” buttons though:

Long and pleading which makes me kind of uncomfortable, like I do not know you and I don’t handle pleading and begging well anyway

Overinvestment in figuring out their type when often it’s times like this when taking an extended break from MBTI would likely be the best thing for you and indeed your overemphasis in getting an answer rather than learning about yourself might be what’s making it so hard to type

Also when someone says they’ve been trying and trying for years I get nervous because there is a very real chance they’re going to say a lot of stuff that is consciously or unconsciously pulled directly from MBTI descriptions and it’s going to be absolutely useless to work with.

[I should note for this and the rest of my criticism: I have, obviously a whole lot of preferences and dislikes and expecting you to cater to all of them would be completely ridiculous. Had this been an 8-part question I would have answered it, even if that answer might have been “I can’t tell”. As is, however, I’m hoping this might serve as some insight into how to make your question as good as possible which as a bonus will make me more likely to spend lots of time on it because I will be impressed and delighted by your effort.]

When interested in something I gotta find out how it works, or how it’s made. I find that as interesting as the thing itself. I see the way different elements can influence each other in arriving at a certain outcome, and I make decisions according to it. I trust my own reading of what’s probably going on. I trust patterns, things are often connected, not a coincidence. I usually judge fast and hard. I can change my mind very quickly if new facts comes in, but I’m very rarely neutral or 2/9

Some examples would be nice. I mean maybe this person is intuitive and maybe a thinker, although that first preamble didn’t sound very thinker to me, but also everything here is purely in the realm of subjectivity. Obviously we’re going to be subjective about ourselves, but a big part of why I want examples is that it forces people to not say stuff that sounds like it’s ripped directly from a type description.

or uncertain about things/people.I don’t like to make promises because of independence and not wanting to promise what I can’t deliver. I dedicate so much time to my personal hobbies I forget my chores. I tend to get obsessed in finding an answer to something until I get so dizzy/overwhelmed I’m forced to step back (typing myself in different theories is the best example). Hate to see people passing on wrong information and therefore misleading others. I gotta step up and correct them. 3/9

This is fine, I’d still like clearer and more specific examples but it’s fine; the one criticism is when someone starts taking about how they approach MBTI as an example in typing them it’s like PLEASE DO A HOBBY THAT ISN’T ABOUT NAVEL-GAZING, IT WILL IRONICALLY BE MORE HELPFUL.

I have very high standards, specially towards myself. My pride is heavily tied to being great at the things I care about, or am expected to perform. Really can’t stand biased judgements and behaviour by others, and police it in myself too. Truth is my #1 value. I have a natural thirst for and ease at handling a lot of data about whatever I’m interested in. One of biggest pet peeves is resistance to facts. I’m highly observant of things and people around me, there’s so much information I get 4/9

Okay this sounds kind of like a repeat/rephrasing of a lot of the information in the first two actual content parts (talking about interests, thirst for knowledge, judgement), and editing that down probably could have saved you an ask space thus getting you your answer. If you find yourself running long, go back and see if you are repeating yourself. I do this a lot! When I make blog posts here I don’t care, because this is my place and I do what I want, but I have a tendency to ramble in emails too and I always do a second pass if it’s longer than a paragraph to make sure all the information in there is helpful in making the point I need to make and isn’t repetitive (unless my point is DON’T FORGET THIS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD in which case some thoughtful repetition is often good).

advice, or cried in front of others myself so I can’t relate.I’m very open minded when it comes to physical differences, cultures, orientations etc. But I have a Strong sense of wrong and right that when crossed leads to indignation and promptly “cancealing” people, cutting them off my life. I felt very uneasy when I realized that things I felt a connection to (favorite color, number, animal, flower) lost their meaning to me. Logically I know it’s not a big deal, but it felt like I lost 6/9

so I think we lost a question here (I got 9 questions, but the last question said 10/10) which is another reason to keep it short – fewer opportunities for tumblr to eat it. Although, had two questions been eaten by Tumblr I would have probably answered this, but that’s probably not a gamble you want to make. Anyway this is emphasizing the strong judgements again, and a little emphasis is actually fine – it helps me know what is really important to you – but again, if you’re running long that should be a thing to cut, after the unnecessary preamble.

something. .I need to express my thoughts/opinions, but my feelings are private.I have a huge fear of failure that holds me back. I’m terrified of finding out I suck at what I’d love to do, so I keep that as a fantasy and don’t try it out, to not kill the possibility. I have self sabotaged to keep myself in “safe” spaces but I have realized the reason I’ve been so restless is because I have to honor my ambitions which have always been big and bold. Mistakes and deficiencies jump out at me 7/9

The information here is mostly fine (although again with the expressing and strong feelings), but it’s also again without examples. There have been precious few examples here, and that’s really difficult to type from – again, I’m not saying it’s easy or even fully possible to be objective about yourself, but sometimes people say “I have a thirst for knowledge” and it means they are pursuing a PhD in philosophy, and sometimes it means they are someone who thinks that reading Wikipedia pages is a personality. [brief aside on that – I don’t want to say reading Wikipedia pages is bad. It’s not. I do it. Yesterday I was interested in how African prints were made and I looked up the Wikipedia page on them, which after a few clicks into related subjects brought me to a page about the androgynous water deity Olukun who originated in Yoruba faith traditions, and it was super interesting. But like…this is just a thing most generally curious people do and not a particularly unique or special indicator that you are smart, which is how it often seems to be intended.] Anyway my point is: examples, examples, examples. If you give specific examples I will be so much happier and more excited to type you because I actually feel like I can say something meaningful.

like neon, I can make very precise and detailed of anything’s quality in seconds. I have little patience with people that are not interested in improvement or resist positive change. Something that drives me nuts is lack of punctuality and money managing skills. I’m very annoyed by unrealistic people that ignore logic or constraints like resources. I’m equally impatient with people who only operate on what’s on the surface and is accepted as true: people who never question the common sense 8/9

Again there’s just…no examples. There’s also been a lot about what this person likes and doesn’t like about other people, and that would better be taken up by information (and examples!) about themself.

or status quo, that trust everything authorities” or the media tells them and never do their own research.I often don’t feel the need to actually do things to see if they’ll work, or try things out to see if I’ll like them. I’m pretty certain of things even before I experience them. I’m not inclined to be diplomatic and persuade. I convince by proving something with evidence, or making they see reason through logic argumentation, and point out possible consequences of choices. I compare 9/9

I’m always a little skeptical of people who think The Media is a monolith, just in general, but that’s neither here nor there. Also, here’s a reason why examples are useful – they provide context into the situation which addresses the very natural conflicts within people, vs. this: “I often don’t feel the need to actually do things to see if they’ll work, or try things out to see if I’ll like them. I’m pretty certain of things even before I experience them” coming from someone who just claimed they value truth above all. Like…this is at least in my opinion the opposite of what someone who values truth would say, because a person who values truth would check if things worked. Which isn’t to say this person is lying – but it means I’m going to have trouble because without, ironically enough, any evidence, which they say they like to use, I don’t know which of those conflicting statements is true or even if they are truly in conflict and just situationally dependent.

things/people a lot naturally because the similarities (and disparities) between them jump out. It’s hard for me to be really surprised at things, or at a person’s character.I’m impatient with learning and doing things that involve many steps/processes. I want to learn everything fast and am just now learning to grow discipline to stick to things in the long run if I don’t see quick progress. I find half baked concepts and theories very annoying, I don't like much ambivalence or vagueness 10/10

I don’t like much ambivalence or vagueness either, but here we are. Also, saying that you tend not to stick with things in the long run and are just developing the ability to do so if you don’t see quick progress does kind of make me have questions about you desperately trying to figure out your MBTI type for years as claimed before. Less is more because it gives you fewer opportunities to contradict yourself.

Anyway, the takeaway: keep your preamble short (seriously - almost every time someone goes over the 8-part limit it’s at least partially because they talked about their MBTI typing journey for 1-2 asks when a single well-phrased sentence would be far more useful), keep your examples concrete and specific, focus on yourself more than what you think of others, and read what you wrote before sending it to me.

#mbti #long post

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acidmatze · 5 years ago

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baezetsu replied to your post “Its so weird being on tumblr cuz it feels like 99% of y’all are going...”

I told my mentor about jobs I wanted to apply to but couldn't because the application states a bachelor degree is required and he freaked out because you never needed a degree 15 years ago wheb he was younger. It was laughable back then. And being a sales rep for wine is.. very much a trade. Our industry requires certs over degrees typically. People I talk to all over other industries have the same issue. Secretarial work requires 4 years now.

Man thats so fucked up tbh. Trade jobs require trade school here too but with a normal high school degree you can get into most of them without much of an issue. My high school report card was fucking horrendous but i still got into nursing school without many issues. Same with my best friend. Ofc after training its harder to find an actual job in the field but getting in is fairly easy

#baezetsu

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comp6841 · 5 years ago

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Lectures - Week 7

Mid Term Exam

Richard went over a couple of the questions from the midterm exam; I wasn’t surprised by the admission that question 10 was impossible. I had that exact same thought regarding how RSA is bust with Merkle puzzles, because breaking one of the puzzles will give you the private key and therefore you break all the puzzles. (free marks!) I still think the answer to number 5 is questionable (lol)... I would argue the case that ‘authentication’ should be accepted as equally valid to ‘type I / type II error tradeoff’. When we refer to ‘authentication’ it is not purely referring to the ability to bruteforce it (you could if you broke into the back panel technically) but also encompasses the idea that the individual entering the code is actually the person intended to possess the code. So in essence, I would say authentication encompasses ‘type I / type II error’ tradeoff, plus a couple of other things. (hence most important)

Diffie-Hellman & Forward Secrecy

I already discussed the ideas behind Diffie-Hellman key exchange here - basically we want two people to agree on a really big prime p and a base b (which is primitive root modulo p). Then each party picks another big number secret which they use to send g^s (mod p) to the other party; because of some cool modulo laws the other party can combine it with their own secret to generate a shared secret. Now the security of this process relies on the fact that the Discrete Log Problem is hard to solve:

So in this case we know g, p and X and we are trying to work back to find s (i.e. either of the parties’ secrets). For small numbers this might not be too bad, but since we have computers we are dealing with numbers hundreds of digits long.

Richard also touched on the idea of ‘Forward Secrecy’ - basically its a method of protecting multiple data-streams being compromised when a server private key is leaked. This means that we generate separate random secret keys for every client using a non-deterministic algorithm (if they get the algorithm we don’t want them being able to repeat things).

Common Vulnerabilities

When we think of C code, I think the most common vulnerabilities relate to some form of memory corruption - namely the buffer overflow attacks we have been talking about for weeks. (I think I’ve explained them like 5 times but basically overflowing a buffer into the stack variables & return address) Another common one was the format string attack - who knows why they thought they needed the “%x” to read items off the stack and “%n” to dump items on the stack. (FOR A PRINTF()) The other obvious one is dumping user inputs as the first argument to printf. I think the common theme to all of these is pretty obvious - assume the user is going to break everything and therefore validate against everything!

Important Assets

Some good tips for ensuring important assets remain up-to-date and relevant include:

Regularly surveying the values of the people involved in what you are protecting

Developing a plan for ascertaining the important components - as humans are often good critics, perhaps a multi-stage review may be appropriate

Periodically revising the current list of assets - organisational values drift and so will the ‘importance’ of each asset

We typically see assets falling under two main categories:

Tangible - physical; usually easy to give a value

Equipment, products, etc

Intangible; usually not valued by physical qualities; hard to assign an appropriate value

Employee morale & security

Customer information

Company secrets

Service availability

It’s important to remember that even though some ‘assets’ of a company may be difficult to value, that doesn’t mean we should completely forget about them!

Web of Trust

One of the biggest issues we have on the internet is answering the question, “how do I know you are who you say you are?” - i.e. authentication. Like how do I know right now that my mindless rambles are actually going to Tumblr and not some other place? Well apart from the fact they’re probably not of high enough value to warrant an attack, we do this through some centralised bodies known as certificate authorities. (more detailed explanation here). The basic idea is a website will register their public key with a certificate authority; they will be given a signature of their key (the websites) with the CA’s private key. When I visit the website they will send me their public key and the signature; since I know the certificate authority, I can verify they approved of this.

The big problem with this is that comes back to the ‘single point of failure’ issue; the matter of the fact is, you only need to compromise one of these bodies and you can bust everyone’s ability to properly authenticate. Also you have to think about the financial incentive behind CAs too - they get money for providing these certificates, so they are probably going to bend the type I / type II error tradeoff more towards letting more people getting certs (rather than stopping bad guys)! The other issue relates to the extended ASCII characters; it’s pretty difficult to spot when a letter like an e is flipped to a é (letter accents) - like if you glanced into your browser and it said www.memés.com, you might not notice you are at the wrong site!

Extended: Bug Bounties

Bounties basically provide a “validity criteria” for finding bugs in software and hardware with a reward (typically monetary) in return. Some services are public such as Bug Crowd and HackerOne, however some like Synack are private. When trying to get the rewards for these bounties it is important to stay in scope, as they often are only giving you permission to test certain regions of a company’s infrastructure. It’s usually a good idea when starting out to look at recently modified assets and publicly disclosed reports; you can work from here. The general process outlined in lectures was as follows:

Find a suitable piece of infrastructure (i.e. from a bounty site)

Review the scope for the bounty

Perform reconnaissance

Hit the target and look for vulnerabilities

Write a report and submit to the company

There are heaps of good resources online to learn the skills required to look for exploits such as one HackerOne. Doing CTFs such as OverTheWire, HackThisSite, etc can also hone your skills for common exploits. However, I still think keeping up-to-date on the latest CVE exploits (and how they work) is useful!

In the lectures, the team went over a strategy called fuzzing; the basic idea is that you repeatedly provide input to each section of a program and monitor for unexpected outputs. You can use software to automatic this process, however you have to know where to look (and inject). Some of the common mutation strategies (when fuzzing) include bit flips, byte flips, arithmetic operations, known integers, dictionaries and mixing the above.

Extended: Penetration Testing

The idea of this testing is good (in theory) in that it forces us to ‘think like an attacker’ and discover vulnerabilities in our systems before another attacker can. They are basically authorised simulated cyberattacks on a computer system to evaluate risks; at the end you should know both strengths and weaknesses. The basic stages of penetration testing are as follows:

Reconnaissance - locate potential vulnerabilities

Planning - think about how to exploit the found vulnerabilities

Exploitation - use appropriate payloads (discovering in planning) to make use the vulnerabilities to compromise the system

Post-exploitation - establish persistence

I think some of the certifications used in pentesting are a bit of a ‘meme’, as well as the tools when they aren’t used as part of a much broader approach. Using tools for recon purposes is fine, but throwing every possible tool at a system just to give a ‘tick of security’ is ridiculous. Some of the tools mentioned:

Metasploit - big database of known vulnerabilities for systems that can be applied

Burp - website scanning

Wireshark - analysis of network traffic (packets, etc)

Kali Linux - linux OS with heaps of exploitation tools

NMap - exploration of open ports on networks (beware of direct printing port lol)

Gobuster - bruteforcing website URLs

Once again, playing around with the tools and knowing the sort of information you can gather with them is definitely useful. Also just having a broader knowledge of the sorts of exploits that exist through research or CTF is good too!

#week7 #lectures #reflection

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writing-talkadvocatesul-blog · 5 years ago

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Bad Writing Advice

Bad academic writing advice seems to be everywhere on Tumblr. I’ve just been searching for essay exam tips to provide inspiration for this month’s prompt, but all the posts I’ve seen so far say things that are misleading, inaccurate, and just plain wrong!

Here’s a list of misconceptions which I’ve seen so far:

1) Thesis statements are where you state your topic/list your points.

NO. Absonotly. Thesis statements have a very specific purpose: they are where you identify the question or issue at hand, indicate what your position is, and make a definitive argument or claim relating to that question/issue. This then becomes the fulcrum around which your essay swings. If your thesis statement is only the points you plan to make, or a topic without an argument, then your essay will suffer. All the tutors I’ve ever had have identified thesis statements as one of the major problems areas for undergraduate writers.

If you’re looking for resources on how to improve your thesis statements, a good place to start is the Chapel Hill handout.

2) Revising and editing are the same thing

No they are not. Revision is one of the most important things you can do for an essay. You wrote a first draft and you think all you need to do is check for style consistency and grammar errors? Cop on to yourself.

Revision is where you read through your first draft, trying to figure out what you want to mean and how to make your essay say what you mean. This is not achieved, as some bloggers would have you think, by switching sentences around and searching through a thesaurus for the “right” word. If the way you’ve organised your essay obscures your thesis, then you think of a structure that will suit it better and rewrite the essay accordingly. If you don’t seem to have a thesis at all, you go back to the drawing board, look at your research, and come up with an argument or claim regarding the question at hand. Revision is not meant to be something that will take you only an hour to do. It can take days to revise an essay into better shape. Only then can you edit it for typos, spelling and punctuation errors, style, etc. Don’t put the cart before the horse.

Again, the Chapel Hill Writing Centre has a pretty good handout on this. The Harvard Writing Centre, with its example from E. B. White himself, isn’t bad either.

3) If you just shove a quote into an essay it’ll prove your point

This is another area where novice writers fall down. Quotes are essential in many essays - particularly in English and History, my majors - but you can’t just shove them in. You must have context for your quote. If it comes from a person who was very influential in the time period you are writing about, or an important character in the novel you are analysing, introduce them before quoting them (and possibly think about including them more generally earlier than the second-last paragraph). Here is an example of good quote use from an article in an academic historical journal:

When speaking of this extravagance, it must be remembered that it was most severely localized. Its focus was the court, its arbiters the fashion critics of the Inns of Court and the City Ordinaries, its life-blood the luxury and entertainment trades of London. It was the capital that not merely set the pattern but also provided the only raison d'etre for this style of living and held the exclusive monopoly of the necessary workmen for its satisfaction. In London only were to be found the inevitable parasites battening upon the follies of the vain and of the great, 'the Vintners, Players and Punks' who 'gain more by you than Usurers do by thirty in the hundred'.' (From L. Stone, ‘The Anatomy of the Elizabethan aristocracy’ (1948) in The Economic History Review, vol. 18, no. 1/2.)

4) Memorize an essay and fit it to the exam question

Oh my God, do not do this. It was rife in my secondary school, because the Leaving Cert drives people to do terrible things. This trend unfortunately coincided with the Department of Education’s drive to make the Irish exam paper less predictable. So, instead of essay topics which had been asked on a rotational basis for the past twenty years, the paper contained questions which were so contextualised and unpredictable that no-one had an essay memorised which would fit the bill. This situation gets even worse in the courses I’m doing at university, such as history, where locking yourself into two essays on two topics can put you in jeopardy if those topics don’t come up.

Instead of wearing yourself out learning off an entire essay off by heart, do proper study, Go over your topics like a sensible scholar, make up your own questions, write out bulletpoints, talk to your professor. And - this is important - TURN UP FOR THE LAST FEW LECTURES. All your lectures are vital, of course, but students who skip the last lecture to do more study often miss the part where the professor flat-out tells you what topics to expect on the exam.

Well, that’s all for today. Feel free to reblog and add other bad academic writing advice that you’ve seen!

#collegeblr #studyblr #writing #bad advice

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