#Is actually broken on the inside
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I haven't done Kieran's mission in chapter 2 or the Thomas Downes debt collection yet but every time I leave camp for a few days, Bill and only Bill has come looking for me every single time
#this has happened about four times now#I'm trying to make a better satchel#so I'm out hunting#and I'm looking for a cougar#cougar appears#so does bill#bill shoots my three star cougar#I cry inside#I tell bill to go away#three days later he's back#I think either I've broken the game or I've found a point where the game REALLY wants you to move on in the story#williamson...#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#mick squeaks#arthur morgan#red dead redemption community#bill williamson#actually it could have been a panther#yeah I think it was a panther#wait am I looking for the wrong fucking animal
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I got these shoes from someone recently but thought they were way too plain looking, so I set out on a quest to customize them with some sharpies and charms and miscellaneous ribbon I had in my craft drawers. Mostly sky themed (clouds, rainbows, rain, stars, etc.) because that's my favorite aesthetic, but I had to include some cat imagery as well, of course lol.
#also honestly had NO IDEA that real converse have that star logo on the INSIDE not the outer part??? why the hell would you want it on the#inner portion where nobody can see it?? my entire life I always would have sworn it was on the outer facing portion..#I think these would be perfect IF they were just slightly taller (top part higher above ankles instead of just weird hard material digging#right into your ankle whenever you walk) and if they were actual good platforms. they're so short. It's good that 'chunky' shoes are gettin#more popular as they've always been my favorite Look ever since I had these shoes with roller skates that pop out of thebottom (not heelys.#but like. before those. it was two whole entire roller skate wheels like a normal pair of roller skates) and the bottoms were so tall and#clunky and it made my feet look giant (because it had.. entire wheels in the bottom pockets lol). so#I've alwatys been into the aesthetic but . still I find a lot of the 'brands jumping on trend' are too short of platforms#OR they're plafrorms with a raised back/heel/wedge which to me is not aesthetically good and also makes them exceptionally uncomfortable to#wear compared to just plain completely flat chunky platform bottoms. ANYWAY.. if these shoes had a 3 or 4 inch platform I think they'd be#cooler. however for what they are it's still fine! and I like them more now that they actually have some sort of anything to them and#aren't just plain white. The weird thing is that the material it's made out of (maybe some sort of leather or something) absorbs sharpie?#the color changes over time. You draw a mark and then leave it for a few days and it either fades into being barely there or has changed#colors. so I had to go back in and redo parts. ALSO the shoe chains are so funny because I did NOT have the right tools for them#I don't have the stuff to make bracelets or open and close the little rings. they're held onto the shoe with just safety pins and the actua#little rung things that hold the charms on half of them are like broken or the metal is just jam smushed together bent and warped hhbjhjhb#I actually like the back a lot where there's the irridecent star thing hot glued on there. it's cool and shiny. and the clouds#are sparkly on the main parts of the shoe though I'm not sure how well it shows up in pictures#ANYWAY... shoegs..... If I were rich this is one of the things I would definitely custom order from craftsman#why would I spend like thousands of dollars on plain ass shoes that are just expensive because they're a Luxury Brand when I could literall#like pay people to create me custom shoes to my exact specifications?? I could have like 5 inch flat platform boots with fur andclouds#and cat shaped holes in the bottom with LEDs in them with pom pom and charms and etc. etc. etc. Like as gaudy and excessively over#decorated as I want lol.. AND they could have skates in the bottom somehow!! ghjgbhjb#this on top of all the custom wizard costumes and period clothing I would order.. Like i LOVE customizing things. I love everything in my l#life being as particualr as possible and cultivating every experience I have to meticulously meet my own specific criteria as much#as is possible. If I had the money to I would never buy something from a store again. EVERYTHING I owned from furniture to clothing#would be either made by me - or mostly - comissioned from craftsmen. custom tiles for my floors. custom bed. custom table.#even like. custom toilet. custom sinks. etc. etc. ouGGH... but yeah.. anyway... shoes..
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Hey y'all! I didn't get many requests for particular pride flags or pride plushies this pride month, but I did get a few requests for an intersex pride something. The intersex pride flag (like a few other flags) is more difficult for me to make, because a symbol is harder to incorporate into an oddly-shaped plushie than just stripes, and the circle will have to be* appliqued by hand so I'd prefer to limit the number of circles. So far, I have three ideas: 1. one of my pride bees (a very round bee consisting of three stripes) that's yellow with a purple stripe in the middle. There wouldn't be a flat ring, but the stripe would kind of form a ring? 2. a yellow dog plushie with a purple ring around its eye like the dog from Little Rascals. Idk how well known that dog is anymore or if it would be recognizable, but it's a one-applique option? I could also include purple patches on the back that are not rings, like the dog's markings in the show (in the movie? to be honest, I just remember the ring around the dog's eye) 3. a blue ringed octopus but the rings are purple. I think this would be awesome but I don't want to applique that many rings by hand and haven't found a fabric with the rings at quite the right scale and density for this project, so this is probably a longer-term one but I do want to make it eventually Do y'all have opinions on any of these, or any other ideas? For intersex pride plushies or for other pride plushies, I've had some work and some family things come up this month that mean I have not gotten as much sewing done this month as I wanted to, and I do love making pride plushies and would love more suggestions *yes, there are a few other ways I could possibly do that, but functionally with the way I make things it'd be by hand
#the person behind the yarn#the air conditioner being mostly broken has really taken a toll on me physically#before anyone chimes in with advice on how to beat the heat: thanks! but I am not looking for advice#I grew up in one very hot climate and moved to one that's only very hot during the summer#I know how to stay cool I just have health issues that make me very very sensitive to heat#I'm on meds for them I have strategies for managing it but nothing I can do will make me anywhere near as heat tolerant#as someone without health issues#I mean I guess the good news is I will probably never get true heat exhaustion because my symptoms are so dramatic#at such a low threshold I'd definitely go inside long before that point#(by dramatic I mean my blood pressure gets low and my heartrate gets high and if I get too hot I could faint)#(not at like. actually doing any damage to me levels of heat. my body just really likes to drop my blood pressure and takes any excuse)
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y'know that sinking feeling in your stomach that continues to worsen no matter what you do ? the sort of empty void that keeps expanding . incapacitating you and making you lose your mind while you stare at the ceiling for the rest of the day because you cannot accomplish anything ?
#im not .ok#at all#im crying but im not but im actually just fine but im actually completely broken inside but there's nothing within to be broken#uuughhh#i just want to spill my guts onto my canvas or google doc#i just want to make something that ill feel proud of again#spooky's soliloquies#n25 on loop for the next 100 years fuck all this shit
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#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#good heavens.... .#lobotomy corporation spoilers#SOMEHOW#lobotomy corp spoilers#carmen lobcorp#listen. i have an explanation okay. it doesnt make sense but it was funny in my head#adam has an earing. thought it would be funny if it was just from ayin . is it? not quite sure#text explanation carmen wanted to do diy piercings in the outskirts and ayin went 'nuh uh safety issues' before caving and#making her practice and do it first on him to make sure it goes well and taken care of correctly before she does it on herself#thus the one ear piecing is born. the alternative joke was that it was just clip on. am i going to question the clothing? nah#mind fuckery the facility is made outa thay too. could that also be for the earing and tatoo? yeah. is it more funny to me thos way? yeah#no idea how the hell adam speaks by the way we ball w that . tatoo is just a sharpie as well dont know why there would be any way to put ink#to skin in an efficient manner. besides mind fuckery which is also totally acceptable but null for the sake of shitty comedy#adam lobcorp#ayin lobcorp#thats it. yup. the only spoilers i have is ayins appearance and name actually. only thing i knew going in. so i suppose this will do#(im procrastinating day 49 i know i can do it but im in agony thinking abt it)#also thought it funny at the idea of an piercing made by carmen's hands ending up being used by the facet of A that is carrying out her will#even still even if it is in the most absurd and irrational way possible. wanting to give freedom and realization and the ability to not#have to just survive but be free to live inside the world with their desires and wants in the most 'purest' and 'strongest' form for all#even if it is a SHIT PLAN!!! established broken man whayever ill bully adam regardless
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A Series of Unfortunate Events crossover AU with The Incredibles where the Baudelaires are a family of supers. Bertrand and Beatrice used to be a superhero team, albeit with murky pasts. Syndrome, their former biggest fan, lures them to Nomanisan Island and kills them with the Omnidroid, then has it declared a tragic accident. Their three children are now orphans. Hiding their powers is more important than ever. People who know tend to be less sympathetic and more suspicious and the National Super Agency is inclined to put the quietness of their lives above the quality of them. Good thing that their totally legitimate relative Buddy Pine is around to foster them right away! He’s a brilliant inventor with a billion-dollar company! He even loves superheroes and offers to train the kids in his advanced facility! What could possibly go wrong?
Fourteen-year-old Violet can generate and control electricity. However, she’s inexperienced at doing so in visible, direct ways. Manipulating currents through materials and inside machines or even her own nervous system (stimulating her muscles to keep herself awake, focused or move with more energy, for example) is easier for her. She gets more comfortable producing raw electricity over time, especially when she needs to protect her siblings. She could control other people’s nervous systems, but doesn’t want to. All technology fascinates her. To complement her intuitive mastery of electronics, she has great skill in mechanical engineering and the resourcefulness to invent equipment out of whatever is available. Being a living battery only enhances what she can create. Since extended use of her power raises her hair with static electricity, she wears her hair securely braided and tied with a ribbon.
Twelve-year-old Klaus has extrasensory perception which, based on his highly verbal thought process as an avid bookworm, is attuned to words. He can hear people’s thoughts, but needs to concentrate to search for information below the surface, filter through the vast swathes of irrelevant information and interpret the nonverbal thoughts and emotions mixed in. So it’s often like reading an extremely dense book full of words you don’t know and unlabelled pictures. But he can figure many of those unknowns out through his keen reasoning. He can also mentally sense the presence of physical text nearby, read it even if he can’t see it and scan a space for specific words, for example to find a certain book in a library. Between this and his photographic memory, he’s a fantastic researcher. His eyes glow the harder he pushes his powers. His glasses help to disguise that on top of correcting his vision, refracting the light, so the quirk will only expose him if they’re lost or broken.
One-year-old Sunny has an invulnerable digestive system that can process anything with no ill effects. Glass, poison, fire. Her teeth are superhumanly durable and sharp. But while nothing along the tube from her jaw to her rear end will bleed, burn or break, the rest of her will, therefore she still needs to be careful how she ingests hazardous things. And just because she can eat and drink everything, doesn’t mean she likes every taste and texture. She actually has a refined palette and prodigious culinary talents.
#imagine the kids finding out about project kronos#imagine that scene with them#syndrome wants to make the kids his sidekicks (especially violet bc tech and sunny bc malleable baby)#but he will happily kill them if they're too much trouble#he actually pretends to care and is charismatic and manipulative enough to trick them for a while#giving them loads of nice things praising them taking interest in their lives#gaslighting and victim-blaming them whenever they see something off or he gets abusive#plus there's the part where he's protecting them from anti-super society but could out them if he wanted#so they are more afraid to lose the benefits of their situation#maybe klaus's glasses get broken 'accidentally' and syndrome designs really cool comfortable new ones with transition lenses#and tiny processors inside that increase his telepathy's range and precision#but secretly they can also interfere with his telepathy to better gaslight the psychic and do mind control#don't worry at the end the kids are adopted by edna mode#a series of unfortunate events#asoue#series of unfortunate events#the incredibles#asoue au#incredibles au#crossover au
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Akira Mado and........... Franziska von Karma.................... i need them to interact..............................................
#young girls in highly demanding jobs constantly overshadowed by their fathers#they act tough and strong but they're actually so broken inside......#they need to cry so much but won't let themselves bc they have to be strong#and they both also broke the cycle their fathers tried to make them continue#and they got whips#akira mado#franziska von karma
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楽しんでいらっしゃいますか?
Did Maya smiling in creature form, her smiling in regular form, and now we got her smiling halfway between the two! The Japanese translates to, "Are you having fun?" but in a very polite, formal way, like customer service kind of way. Had to get help from a friend cuz my Japanese level is like that of a little kid ahaha~
#my art#drawing#oc#maya fujikawa#tw glitch#tw mild body horror#if she actually had a spine it would be broken#but she has no spine...or bones or muscles or organs#it's all fake inside
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36F ENM bi hypersexual nerdy life posting
I know my soulmates and they know me but sometimes it takes us time to see
minors DNI
#bisexual#enm#goth gf#unicorn 🦄#🦄#actually if someone would do this with me i’d be v happy#but it’s my only line#thoughts of the purest green#not dead yet#neurodivergent#adult autistic#polyam and chill#finding the mates of my soul#loving you#missing you#emotional lability#feeling lost#feeling broken#celebrating us#dark outside sweet inside#who tf am i#evolving#becoming who I’m meant to be#navigating life#hoping to make the world more beautiful#determined girl
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one time like a year ago a giant hornet (?) got into my apartment and i managed to get it out the door but then an hour later it was somehow back in?? and i don’t even live in that apartment anymore but it haunts me to this day because i still don’t know how it got in either time and i never will
#idk for sure if it was a hornet but i know it was a HUGE flying bug#and i think about it all the time#like first of all idk how it got into the apartment in the first place#bc my roommate had left that morning so that was the only time the door would’ve been open#but even then that would just be the door to the hallway. not to outside#and it would’ve only been open for like 5 seconds#and it was HUGE so theoretically he would’ve noticed if it had flown in#anyways so then i get it out the door that leads outside#and it’s POSSIBLE i didn’t actually get it out when i thought i did. but then why would it wait an hour to start flying around again#like it felt like it just appeared right next to my face an hour later#and if it had been around before then i would’ve known bc it was LOUD#i remember that morning i heard a distant buzzing when i woke up#and as soon as i opened my bedroom door it was much louder bc this huge bug was circling the living room#which brings us back to how the fuck did it get in#there were big bugs in that apartment sometimes because part of the door was broken#so i taped it so they couldn’t get in and that mostly stopped the giant spiders and other bugs#and the hornet was definitely post-tape#AND i remember the second time i got it outside it was flying into the window like it was trying to get back in#so how did it get in and what the fuck was inside that it wanted so bad#guys. this haunts me and i will never get answers to any of these questions.#iirc like a day later i was in the leasing office for a completely different reason#and there was someone there that was over because HIS apartment was infested with hornets#but it was a completely different building than mine#so what the fuck was going on with these hornets#i hate bugs so much why do they terrorize me specifically
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god the announcement of hnk (houseki no kuni/land of the lustrous) has got me in shambles,,, i haven't read the chapters after the 10 000 years hiatus so i gotta catch up (actually I'll probably re-read the whole thing)
‼️rambling incoming‼️
imo, hnk is one of the best series for deep psychological analysis,,, it had such a deep impact on me when i first read it (like 3 years ago) and still remains in my top best/favorites series 🥹🥹 i could ramble abt it for so long,,, the process of one losing bit by bit the parts of themselves and replacing it with something else (both physically and metaphorically) in an endless need to help others, but also as an own selfish wish to become better than who they used to be. Then looking back, and realizing things were so much simpler back then, and mourning that past self. (The fact that all of this revolves around their self-hatred and the belief that they're worthless is just. It's so heartbreaking to me. They've become so desperate for affirmation and yet still keeps getting hurt, by others and by themself too.)
i have too many feelings about the manga 😭😭 im losing myself to the brainrot, help-
#leaf yapping#hnk#any hnk fans here?? 🥺🥺#I MEAN IT WAS PRETTY OBVIOUS THE SERIES WAS GOING TO END SOON ANYWAYS#god I still remember the infamous 2 years hiatus#all because ichikawa got a ps5#i have so many thoughts on so many characters#rutile...ghost quartz...diamond...yellow diamond...antARCTICITE...CINNABAR??? CAIRNGORM???? 😭😭😭#and last but not least. lets not forget our endlessly suffering protagonist. gods sacrifical lamb.#IM NEVER GOING TO SHUT UP ABOUT PHOS‼️‼️#this series made me so mentally ill...like i was already mentally ill but it made me worse#i rewatched the anime recently actually and it made me super emotional 🥹🥹#ichikawa. when i catch you ichikawa.#THE TRANSFORMATION PHOS WENT THROUGH IS SO INSANE ACTUALLY#ur telling me the silliest little guy is now...some imposing shapeless deity figure???#lets not forget about when [spoiler incoming]#they lost their legs. then lost their arms. then lost their head.#then got destroyed and slowly reconstructed into a horrifying mix match of broken pieces#not the mention how they get shattered by the alloy when they have a mental breakdown#WHICH IS SUCH AN INSANE DETAIL BTW???#the way they just. fully physically break down to pieces. from inside of themselves. when their mind is spiralling.#i think their portrayal of ones trauma is so interesting#ANYWAYS IM STOPPING MY RAMBLING FOR NOW
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zelda and shadow in the fsa manga drive me ridiculously insane actually. the panel where shadow is kneeling on the floor and zelda is standing there looking down at him and they're SEEING each other is enough to give me fucking RABIES. LOOK AT THIS
#IT'S ABOUT HOW THEY GO FROM ANTAGONIZING EACH OTHER AT THE BEGINNING TO ACTUALLY TRULY GENUINELY SEEING EACH OTHER AT THE END!!!!#HOW ZELDA GOES FROM 'You're no shadow! More like a faint and twisted echo! Even at his WORST Link would never be as crude and rude as you!'#TO 'Do you really think the light will hurt you? Don't you see? You are a Link‚ too. Deep inside‚ you're really a hero.'#AND HOW SHADOW GOES FROM 'Curse you... ...Princess Zelda!'#and. all the other things#TO BRAVING THE WORLD OF LIGHT AGAIN EVEN THOUGH HE'S WEAKENED AND PAINED AND TERRIFIED OF THE LIGHT#BECAUSE SHE WAS THE FIRST PERSON WHO EVER SPOKE A KIND WORD TO HIM AND MEANT IT. NO STRINGS ATTACHED. NO REWARD. JUST KIND.#EVEN WHEN SHE HAD ALL THE REASON NOT TO BE.#SO HE TAKES VIO'S FORM AND TELLS THE OTHER LINKS WHAT'S GOING ON (AND EXPERIENCES REAL CONCERN AND WORRY FROM THEM FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER#WHICH IS A WHOLE OTHER FUCKING POST) AND SHATTERS THE FUCKING MIRROR. SHATTERS HIS WHOLE LIFE.#BECAUSE SHE BELIEVED IN HIS ABILITY TO BE A HERO. BECAUSE SHE WAS KIND TO HIM. BECAUSE SHE SAW HIM. BECAUSE SHE *REALLY* SAW HIM.#BECAUSE HE WANTED TO SAVE HER. TO LIVE UP TO THAT KINDNESS. TO BE THE HERO SHE SAW IN HIM. LIKE!!!!!!!!!#i will lose my mind over it. i will genuinely lose my mind.#she looked at him as pathetic and weak and broken as he was and saw her friend in him. and she was kind. and so he sacrificed himself.#because someone was kind to him and meant it. head in my FUCKING hands.#sorry it's going insane about the four swords adventures manga again hours. but when is it not honestly#fsa#txt
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#how fucking weird is everything#i went from being mostly ok and even reading a fic yesterday to not being able to sleep most of the night#then when i finally managed to sleep it was not at all peaceful and i felt absolutely fucking horrible all fucking day#like my chest hurt and i felt like throwing up and didn't now what is sense in anything#and went out to met my bf and we had totally broken humor today laughing (kinda chocked) at basically everything#and i even menaged to listen to song or two#an then i ride home with chest still right#but i went numb while making food (i'm actually want to eat in some rare moments)#and now this doesn't totally seems real again?????#and i'm reading fic????#and?????#wtf even???#how all this works#i'm so confused#anyway#had to get this out#shay rambles#some defensive mechanics inside of me probably#so i won't go completely nuts#or something
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okay! fighting!
#have been wrestling with the community function to get it to open *inside* the app which i am ALREADY logged into#every link keeps taking me to a browser and then it asks me to sign in#and if i click 'open in app' does it take me to the actual app that is open that i am actively using?#no! it takes me to the app store#tumblr istg why are you so stupid with links - should never have broken them all back when you switched them out#anyway: hot tip you can share the link into a draft post then access drafts from inside the app and magically it will open#why is there not a directory of communities?#a person making a community can't be expected to be in contact with every single person who might be interested#now i'm trying to see the ways things work like you can't reblog inside a community you have to#go to the original post but it seems easy to click over so that's nice and i like the reacts#bc of the interaction tracking especially it looks like artists/vendors could make good use of dedicated communities#this might be really good for people wanting to set up shops on tumblr actually#like yes i want it for fandom reasons (if there's a bts or dmbj community already PLEASE hit me up)#but looking at the functions ... if you have a shop or take commissions this could work WELL
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Working on that Star Wars self insert/OC.
I decided to try an old school werewolf vibe and I’m kinda diggin it?
His glasses are gonna be tinted like a dark purple.
#my problem is that no matter how dark and bad I felt I never wasn’t being a people pleaser smiler#however I think making a guy who WAS kinda like that#but got all good aspects of that broken inside him#and actually getting to be a grumpy asshole who learns to be a genuine smiler#might be cathartic for me#Star Wars#Star Wars oc
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hmmmm thinking about alastor's first kill when he was human.
#⌜off the air⌟ . // ooc#realistically those first kills are usually spontaneous#i do think his first kill might have been provoked#and he got a real taste for it after that#like something unlocked and all that inner rage#that inner crazy he keeps locked inside could actually be released in this way#i just have this image of a crazed expression on his face#his smile wide and its broken like i cant believe i just did this#but also like a haha i cant believe i just did this#i might write a drabble#its buzzin in my head
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