#Integra is a good character

[see-arcane]

Mina's incredible (and underrated) detective prowess would be very useful I bet. Put her on the helm Integra, Van Helsing praised her brains as being above everyone's including himself for a reason.

I honestly can't guess what the chemistry between Integra and Mina would be. Integra doesn't really click with me as a classically heroic character, for all that she does focus on saving humanity from the undead via Alucard and her forces, being the Boss Lady etc etc. She's miles away from being as insidious as an Amanda Waller, but...

The hotel. The fucking hotel will never leave me.

Yes, the order went directly against 'soldiers of the enemy,' but those soldiers had been lied to about who and what they were charging into. Which was obvious even without being a fly on the wall to know their higher-ups had fed them some BS to march them into death and win their own power grab from Millennium. She didn't tell Alucard to 'make it quick' or even just to 'neutralize.' She told him to search and destroy. Folding to Alucard's egging and negging to seem like a Worthy War Commander in the grand scheme~ of the plot

She's not heartless, exactly, but she is arctic and surprisingly quick to breeze past the loss of lives that aren't under her direct care/command. While she might respect Mina's abilities and investigative skills--I wouldn't be surprised if Mina could intuit Millennium's endgame well before the climax could happen--Integra inherited none of her ancestor's warm regard, supposing Abraham van Hel(l)sing had any of the original's tenderness in him (50/50 considering this takes place in aggro horror territory). We can't even say if this universe's Mina played any big role in cornering Dracula; she might just have been a targeted damsel.

All that said, I think Integra would see Mina as another time-displaced bleeding heart with a few useful skills, same as Jonathan. Someone to be an ally at best, a liability at worst. So I don't see her handing over any reins or offering to be co-girlbosses any time soon :c

[pebblezone]

She was Twelve I don’t care how mature she was she’s going to feel emotions

[your-fave-is-christian]

Pretty much all the main characters of Hellsing Ultimate, sans the Nazis.

Alucard, Integra Hellsing, and Seras Victoria from Hellsing are Christian!

[zestyaahbutler]

The Madam's Order

DISCLAIMER: suicide, mental illness, and questionable dynamics

It was going on another hour of the two that had already passed. 

The garden had been tended to in detail. As usual, Amulya had asked Walter to stay with her for the entirety instead of working on whatever the organization had sent his way. Somehow it felt different. Her pacing was off. There was no eye on efficiency. Her conversation was kept centered around him. Not that he never got how she was feeling well and appreciated the weather; Today, she was very keen on expressing her gratitude for him. As warm as it was to hear such praise from her, it weighed on him. 

The heaviness was becoming unbearable. Growing dread scurried around as he stood outside of her bedroom. In his profession, he knew this feeling wasn’t good to ignore; maybe it would be the same in a domestic situation.

A gentle knock was repeated on the door a few times. No answer. 

“Madam Hellsing,” Walter called out and knocked once more. He leaned his head on the door, pressing his ear against it to see if any sound had been hidden by the well-constructed walls. There was nothing but suffocating silence. A sigh escaped him as if he was preparing to do something terrible.

A click of the doorknob was made as he slowly turned the knob, ready for her to call out for him to wait. Yet he was able to turn it completely and so he pushed the door open to the bedroom. The aroma of Arthur’s cologne mixed with Amulya’s reminded him of the territory he was stepping into. It was just as pristine as it was made to be by maids this morning. Clothes for Amulya had been left out by a maid that weren’t taken with her. He pressed the door closed behind him in case anything were to happen before he began his investigation, starting with the bathroom door that was closed.

“Madam Hellsing,” Walter addressed as he did outside. His pupils flickered to the top of the door. No steam so the shower hadn’t been running for some time. 

“Wa..Walter?” Amulya’s voice hoarsely responded in question. A faint tap and rattle of an object piqued his interest further. 

“Madam Hellsing, is everything alright?” He grabbed the doorknob as he mustered up for the next question as she didn’t answer the first one. “Are you clothed?”

“Not yet, could you please wait outside?” 

Her avoidance of the first question pained his senses. As much as he wanted to listen to her, he couldn’t. Walter hadn’t heard anything break or a fall. he held his breath. He could barter and question her later. 

The door swung open, revealing a frozen Amulya in just a robe. He could barely see what she was holding. Whatever it was, it was hastily shoved into her mouth. He shot forward to pin her to the counter. Amulya whimpered as she was pressed up against the edge of the marbling. Her mouth barely opened for the pressed powder capsule to fall out. The hand that she had used attempted to cover it but was met with an instantaneous grab. By now, her saliva had caused the bitter aftertaste of the pills to fill her mouth, making it almost impossible to go through with it. Despite this, she tried to push Walter off any way she could. Her arms were incapacitated so she resorted to trying to kick him off. No words were exchanged, just a mix of grunts of equal frustration. 

For such a small girl, she was proving to be ferocious. He turned her around in his grasp only for her to try to move forward. Walter responded in pulling her back with everything he had. She must have gone dead weight on him as when she brought him back, he fell against the wall and ended up with her on his lap, sitting up from the ground. Amulya coughed, wheezed, and gagged. The hand that had grabbed one of her hands came off to wrap around her but offered a place for her to spit out what she was housing in her mouth.

With it being the only way to rid herself of the bitter taste, she reluctantly let out the contents in his hands. She coughed a few more times before shivering a little. The Saliva covered half-dissolved tablets were dropped to the side of him. A few wipes of his hand to his pants were made before he wrapped the arm around her. She gave in, leaning back into his embrace. He coiled and tightened around her till there was barely any room for her to adjust herself. He panted with the young lady; his never relaxed as much as hers.

“Did you swallow anything?” 

She shook her head. A sigh billowed from him. His head went back while his eyes closed for a few seconds of blissful relief.

Soon enough he was brought back. But there was nothing to say. Nothing to do. The pleasure and satisfaction of having her in his arms with the bleak reality of what had just occurred created a cocktail that bit him for each thought he had about her. 

Fortunately, Amulya did not move. She didn’t push him away. Instead, she allowed them to stay this way. It was only an hour and a half later that she was able to muster up words with a parched throat. 

“You’re going to suffocate me…” she roused Walter from his trance.

She was right. It had never occurred to him how tightly he had bound her to himself. For her comfort, he loosened his arms enough for her to move, not to leave. Millions of questions swarmed his mind and yet he couldn’t make anything else. If one came up, more piled on. It would have made any incomprehensible if he ever tried to express anything to her. Suddenly she started to pull away. Not far, but enough for Walter to reach out for her to sit back down. It didn’t feel pathetic. Not after what he could have lost. Begging her to stay was all he wanted from her. His wish wasn’t ignored, Amulya had turned to face him. Even if he had caught her doing something so shameful, not even a single tear had formed. Yet when she saw him, her eyes seemed to gloss over with an incomprehensible amount of pity. 

Her palm was placed on his cheek. The contact made him relative how much moisture had formed on his skin. 

He had been crying. 

“Walter,” Amulya’s voice caressed him in ways he couldn’t describe. The mention of his name welled so much up in him that he could only let out a croak of recognition. What followed was a sob. Like he was a child, Amulya took his face and pushed him into her chest. Her arms cradled him with immense affection that only unraveled him further. Whatever sounds came out were muffled by the fabric he had been buried into. It was something to be grateful for. He had not been seen like this by a person, a woman, someone who cared for him for nearly a decade. But unlike those times, this grief was much more complex. 

Part of him felt foolish for letting his mask shatter in front of someone he wanted to see him as a pillar while the other was ecstatic to even be acknowledged in such a vulnerable position. A hand gripped onto the skirt of her robe, threatening the integrity of her maidenhood but she never budged. A peck was placed on the top of his head, making him whimper. A hand smoothed out his hair that had been left in disarray. Another kiss to his forehead was made, then another. He would have been melting with a shit-eating grin in any other case but only managed to barely hook up the corners of his mouth to face her. His eyes were still damp, making the light around her blur and appear as a halo. It was fitting for such a woman. Her expression still remained serious as their exchange lingered.

“I’m sorry for frightening you.” 

It was genuine but not something he’d forgive. He was happy to at least be able to feel her. He wrapped his arms around her waist. It was certainly an inappropriate position to be caught in if anyone dared to walk in. Walter felt more faith that they’d be left to their accord. It was later in the evening, most employees had gone to eat or left for home by now. 

“Are you okay?” She bothered once more. 

“I’m fine, are you?” To her surprise, he pulled her waist toward him with a tighter hold on her. She winced at this, making him quickly loosen. Though there was an obvious disappointment in having to do so. 

“I’m okay, just sore from earlier.” 

Ah. 

He had been using all of his strength on her earlier. She had to have been stricken from being handled in such a way.

“Apologies.”

“No worries,” she gave him a reassuring smile, “I know you’re just doing your job…I told you I like that about you.” Irritation spawned at this. 

She did say that. 

Numerous compliments and she had gushed over how he had always gone out of her way to protect her regardless of the threat. It could have been a car or a person, but her own being turned out to be the biggest danger to her. 

“Why did you do that?” Spawned from the exhausted butler. The question was blunt but laced with affection and concern. She didn’t answer for a strenuous amount of time. 

“I’m not sure,” she responded in a whisper. She spoke up a little louder after, “It felt right in the moment.”

“You could have told me.” Amulya frowned deeply at this. Walter was even surprised at how she condemned him at this. It was true. With wishful thinking, she had wanted him to forget the fact. The statement loaded her with more questions that she wanted answers to. 

“What should I have told you?” 

“That you weren’t feeling well, that you didn’t want to be alone.” 

Her lids lowered. 

“I did want to be alone,” she sliced him with this reply. “But,” she paused as she pulled away, leaving him with no fabric to press his face into. “I am glad you found me.” This nod to him saving her felt cold. What he said did feel self-centered. She didn’t seem as thrilled as the words entailed. He had seen this side of her before but it still felt like such a stark contrast. He had been given more than he ever could as her butler in this very moment and he still felt robbed.

Amulya saw someone who looked utterly distraught with what she was doing. Her reasoning was just as she said. Nothing more, nothing less. Sure, she had reasons that had piled into the decision. Being caught felt much worse.

“Are you going to tell Arthur?” She asked in a hushed voice. 

Not exactly. He didn’t want to. Even so, it wasn’t like the other times. Her being unable to leave the bedroom or having crying spells. Misguided thoughts that he reassured her weren’t what she wanted. It was so extreme and he wanted only to keep it between them.

“How would you like to proceed?” He had started to put on that same mask as her attendant while still keeping true to whatever desires they both held.

“Without his knowledge,” she answered as soon as he finished. A spark of satisfaction came from this. It was a promise he could keep. “Those pills were his, you will secure him a new bottle.” Walter took all this in as easily as it had come out. Such a warm girl to be so cold and calculated amazed him. Not that anyone would become suspicious of him going to get more medicine for Arthur’s liver cirrhosis. Arthur wouldn’t notice unless he chose today to be perceptive. He wouldn't.

“I’ll handle it, Amulya,” This somehow made her smile. He was brought into her arms once more. Walter reciprocated and fell back into cuddling with her. She pushed her face into the crook of his neck. He couldn’t help but feel a little in danger but his brain was too stirred to put up that wall he had put up despite his wants. 

“You’re my favorite, you know that?” A familiar warm feeling rose to his cheeks.

“In what way?” He hated himself for asking. She giggled at this.

“Walter~” Fuck. “You’re my favorite butler.” Oh. It still felt nice regardless. She began to rub his back. Anything more would make him lose himself in her “I appreciate you always looking out for me,” she cooed in the tone she had used in the garden.

“Please don’t leave me like that,” slipped out of him. She stopped and her hand fell. Walter cursed himself for letting such a weak statement leave him. 

“I won’t.” Her speedy answer took him off guard. It sounded like something she’d say. It didn’t matter if it was fake. “I never want to see you cry like that…” 

Amulya broke so suddenly. She began to apologize but never amounted to anything comprehensible from being mixed in with her frequent gasps, shaking, and weeping. The thing he was able to make out was at the end of her attempt to amend what she put onto him was,

“Please don’t tell Arthur.” 

[cocolacola]

mark ur calendars today was the day i forgave maiev shadowsong

[cry-ptidd]

This is the best thing I've ever read

surprise gift for @cry-ptidd because i wanted to write a werewolf with a predatory side and a BAMF middle aged woman. partly inspired by a convo we had. i can probably be convinced to continue it.

closest you'll get to a TW is threats of gore and predatory behaviors. Laura is a werewolf.

Laura is not permitted to go hunting as often as she’d like; no outings into the night in general, much less the violent sort that ended with men’s limbs gripped between her snarling jaws as they cried in agony. That was almost never. But tonight must be special—her very own Sir Integra had deigned it a night she was allowed to go out. Not for a violent hunt, no, but for something to sate a different kind of hunger.

She stands in the head office at her master’s side where the traitor once stood, rigid in posture with her hands clasped at her front. The marble floor is painfully clean and shining, even under the low light of the too-high crystal chandeliers. Even after all these years, Integra’s wide mahogany desk and tall upright chair remain the only furniture in the room. An expendable agent stands before the two women, rattling something off from a newfangled tablet. It was the kind of technology that had an unpleasant whine in her ears more often than not.

But after listening to the nightly debrief from operational intelligence, Integra waves her hand. “It sounds like a sleepy night,” she muses, “truly a rarity.”

Laura finds herself tensing in anticipation, hair on her arms and the back of her neck standing on end. That wasn’t how Integra usually led into training exercises or the housework given on other dull evenings. The middle-aged heiress to the Hellsing name cracks open the center drawer of her desk to unearth a golden cigar case. Through the tall windows behind them, the dark sky and full moon called, speckled with the faintest of stars and framed by red curtains. The werewolf’s eyes widen a sliver and her nose twitches.

“Better than the alternative,” the man quips back with a smile, straightening the pages and laying them on Integra’s desk for her to review. The arteries in his neck pulse ever so faintly with his heartbeat. His hair is salt and pepper grey, with movements slow and sluggish in the werewolf’s eyes. If not for the red armband on his suit and the woman at her side, Laura would’ve thought him a fitful, lean snack.

“I suppose so,” she hums, “but I can’t leave my girls bored forever.” For a second, something flutters in Laura’s chest at the possessive tone. But she just as soon crushes it, forcing it away as Integra flicks open her case and plucks a cigar. “Laura.” Integra snips the end of the cigar for a crisp start. “Be a dear, will you?”

The werewolf reaches into the pocket of her apron and pulls out a golden lighter, offering a flame with a quick flick.

“Good girl.” The praise sends an imperceptible shudder down Laura’s back. “That will be all.” She replaces the lighter in her pocket and the lowly peon bows, turning his back to shuffle away like he wasn’t one wrong step from being picked up and shaken like a ragdoll.

They are far too comfortable around her.

The door clicks shut behind him, echoing in the high ceiling, and the ever-lovely Integra swivels her chair to look at the werewolf over the rim of her glasses. Laura just stares back at her piercing blue eye, waiting for an order.

“Do you think I should approve Seras’ request?” Integra asks before inhaling slowly from the cigar. The strong smell is almost enough to make Laura’s stomach churn with memories of dingy pubs and disgusting pigs but on her master? It is another matter entirely.

“What did she request?” the werewolf replies, nose almost wrinkling as Integra blows out another puff of smoke.

“A night on the town with you.” The Hellsing cracks a wry smile. Something in her eye glimmers. In the back of her mind, Laura wonders how long ago this request had been placed. They didn’t exactly go out frequently, and the vampiress frequently complained in her ear the next evening about how she’d snuck away.

“And why ask for my approval?” Laura’s hand twitches with the urge to brush a strand of hair, slipping from her ponytail, away from her eyes. Almost like she was a schoolgirl again. Distant memories of flowers crushed in her tense grip for some faceless young thing; a first crush. She swallows.

“Figured I’d see if you’d like to go,” Integra muses with the cigar between her lips, “If you were up for behaving tonight.” Heat almost rises to Laura’s cheeks at the thought of the last time, almost getting caught by all-too-perceptive humans. Funny that the woman hadn’t put together the teeth and the eyes until they were almost to her home. Funnier yet that Laura had been on her best behavior at the time and simply disappeared.

“I am bound to your command,” Laura replies gruffly, finally breaking eye contact to look away.

“Fine then.” Integra blows an almost playful puff of smoke at her. “I command you to accompany Seras for the night with nothing but your very best behavior.”

A smirk crawls up on Laura’s face at the thought of innocent women at the bar, straying like a young rabbit from its den. Tonight is a night for hunting bunny rabbits. With wide eyes and rosy cheeks. Soft skin and a dainty perfume. The big, bad wolf would eat them right up. “Oui, sir.”

[shinjisdone]

*sigh* that time of the year again where I brielfy obsess over Alucard from hellsing ah shit here we go again

Random Alucard thoughts (also he is totally yandere)

TW: Huge yandere behavior, mentions of murder, torture, vampirism, blood, extreme possessiveness, obsession, crossing boundaries, belittling, mind games, Alucard fully sees himself as your monster, hints at Alucard's true identity and past, everything is in random order according to my brainrot

Vlad "Alucard" Tepeş is 100%, absolutely, with zero doubt a Yandere. It's proven, it's real, he is one, do not argue with me look at him from any angle, it is yandere.

He had long embraced the title and flesh of a monster. He is selfish, twisted and full of bloodlust. His life as a true vampire consists of short bursts of pleasure, of getting that kick of almost being killed. Battling with a "man" who can kill a "monster". Yet he is so powerful that no one can come close to put him in his well-deserving grave. A shame.

Besides Integra and Seras, its the only thing he lives for. To meet the end by the hands of a human.

Hence why he, ironically, is very drawn to humans and humanity in general.

He respects bravery, wit and the want to be human and stay so no matter what. A steadfast knowledge of who you are. So you'd have to have all that for him to pay positive attention to you.

He has seen and lived through the worst of it. Not once a taste of love or kindness but only the wretched side of humanity that it can offer.

He can offer it all back...but not love. For love is pure and good and he is not and never was. Love is for humans. Monsters can only "love" in much darker ways...

And if you are the one thing that intruiges him so much, he might smother you in his twisted love.

Of course, you do not need to be a mortal to become his obsession. But for the sake of diving into his psyche, to really see how....unhinged this creature is, let us go with that 👀

A creature of the night is always interested in humans. How one particurarly thinks and acts, what they believe in, whether they have cowardice or courage in their hearts. Many are the same but a lot of them prove themselves to be more and worthy of his attention.

You'd have to have something to begin that spark of interest. Power, knowledge, strength of character whatever it is, it should be enough to interest a vampire but not deter him away from you from striving away from your humanity. Casting it aside makes you a fool in his eyes.

Then - there has to be that humanity inside you. Not the ugly and candid one he knew all his life as a count but this...fleeing beauty. The seldom joy and kindness. Love for another being all because you simply chose to.

Not because this person fought for your love, sacrificed for your love, impaled your enemies - but because you chose to share love.

How human.

Interesting yet...perhaps weak. Or is it strength? Can you cast it all aside when you do gain enemies that want your head?

Besides, when you are in Hellsing, you do tend to be messed up. Integra, Seras and Walter are no different in their own way and how can you still carry an ounce of selflessness in a place like this with how you are? Can you be selfless when you fight?

A part of him wants you to succumb to the rage, this oh so human rage but...once you cave, it is hard to get back up. Alucard would rather have you stay the way you are.

The beginning is slow but already startling...

The longer he watches, the more intriguied he becomes. And once this humanity of yours touches him, it is all over.

With Integra, he is loyal. With Seras, he is patient. Both women have gained his respect through their courage and boldness, as well as their will power for what they believe in.

But you? You have nothing to gain from the Hellsing hound. If he wanted you dead, you'd be so long ago. You are already protected from his power (as long as Integra says so and Seras is not endangered) so what do you think you are doing, little human, sharing an ounce of love with him?

Don't you know that monsters cannot love?

Yet still, he feels a tightness in his chest. There, deep within where his heart is supposed to reside, is a dark yet darker, deep yet deeper black hole, an abyss of all that he is now as Alucard - still, the tightness is there and slowly spreads through his limbs as warmth.

It is different than the bolts of bloodlust that spark and jolt within him. It is slower and graduate. Calm like the sea in the morning fog. It is so interesting that he allows himself to indulge in more.

You foolish human.

You will see the error of your ways. Will see how this creature of the night's darkness will twist and turn into an admiration that is sick, an infatuation that looks down on you yet worhsips you at the same time, an adoration that is deadly. Love does not exist within the being that is called Alucard. It is too pure and good for a monster like him.

Know that it will take a long and enduring time for something like that to blossom. But if your actions are consistent, it will certainly happen - your doom.

It begins mellowly.

His constant presence when allowed to have some free time, the unblinking gaze and the everlasting smile. Alucard always smiles around you.

He tends to talk a lot more with you. Asking you questions of your views to gain more and more knowledge about you, to understand you as a human and how you tick. He greedily sucks in any kind of information that makes you, you. The mortal he fell for.

For you are simply too fascinating not to know more of.

It happens through interrupting your own free time, your privacy (he just goes through the walls) and your boundaries. He doesn't mean any harm, quite the opposite, so why do you become so hostile?

Are you not on the same side as Hellsing?

In battle, he enjoys protecting you. As if it was a hard task or would get in the way of the objective - putting a bullet through a threat or biting their head off is easy and fun. He's keeping you, his favorite and most interesting mortal, safe. He can't have you killed, for who else is as unique as you and could ever replace you?

It's gruesome and he shows no remorse in how you feel on such a vile display. He will not ever admit it but his actions speak louder than words and you will notice, very soon, that he focuses a lot on your safety - while gleefully slaughtering so-called "dogs".

Any kind of acts of love are your doom...

It is only when you act so humanely even further with him that things go down.

Alucard watches you in your sleep but dares not touch you. His grotesque hands do not know how to caress and care. It's unfamiliar, too unfamiliar for him to simply begin. He stares and watches, observes and grins and comments, bows and gestures and overdoes everything but he does not touch you. He does not know how.

Yet one night, when you are not asleep but admiring the moon, he comes to you.

Makes it seem like a coincidence even when it is part of his nightly routine to see you. You talk but not dare bring up his odd behaviour towards you. Instead, he listens before Alucard slowly gets lost at the sight of you and his hand gently lowers to your head.

It does not matter if you show no fear or maybe jump and whimper at his touch - all that matters is that you let him touch you. Him, Alucard, the true, great vampire and nightwalker. A creature of the night so great that nothing can harm him but he certainly can bring torment to you - yet you let him touch you.

It is the first in millennia that he ever found himself putting a hand on something he does not wish to kill. His hand engulfs your head, fingers run through your hair and his thumb caressing the underline of your eyes. A hand that could crush your skull, fingers and thumb that could dug into your eyesocket and you let it all happen. It serves as some kind of evidence, at least to him, that he can...do something he did not ever think he could.

It would bring even more meaning to it (or perhaps mockery to the injury) when you accept his touch by putting your hand over his. You can say whatever you want, feel whatever you want but actions speak louder than words and here, right now, you allow a monster to caress you and do not reject it by taking its hand.

You...beautiful human.

You...foolish human.

What are you doing? What have you done?

How can you expect Alucard to forget this and you?

He did not forget the armies, the ottomen, the vampires and ghouls, or Integra's father because all they did was inflict unforgettable pain.

And now, he cannot ever forget you because you touched him with love - whether you liked it or not.

Whether you see it like him or not.

It doesn't matter.

Alucard won't forget. Won't cast aside the new light he now sees you in.

Brave. Steadfast. Aware. Kind. Fragile. Naive. Weak. Loving.

What a truly beautiful night it is indeed.

Blood spills for you...

The damage is done and tenfold at that, too.

Alucard won't try to hide these...emotions he bears no longer and will not care what Integra and Seras will have to say. For how could they fight against a monster's nature?

He endears you with new names. He does so with many in an rather ironic way to describe them in a way he knows them best. But you get many pet names.

'My Dear' is a classic and most used. 'My Darling', ' my beloved' and even 'my little human'. There will always be that possessiveness that he bears oddly proudly. Of course you are his in a way. He cannot really claim you as his but maybe he can let himself be yours in a twisted way. No matter how you feel about him though, you will always be close to his non-existend heart - and in his non-existend heart you do belong to him. His dear, his darling, his beloved, his little human.

Though he will also mostly use a nickname that either describe your appeareance or personality at best - something that encaptures the you.

Any kind of physical appeareance will be endearing to him and called out in a rather...mocking way. Just to get a rise out of you. Alucard does love to see your reactions.

But how he really feels is shown through his nicknames for you based on your personality. Your actions and quality of character.

It would be...rather painfully ironic that would stir him to guffaw like a madman if any nicknames were somewhat...connected to his past life. Like to seek the sight of an angel.

How absurd. The one thing he has fought for and then abandonded at the fear of dying...and now, an angel appears before him.

How maddening.

Names like angel or queen would be highly amusing to him in his own mind (its an inside joke, u wouldnt get it) and Alucard would call you these things with a chuckle or two to the point where you wonder if he is mocking you. However, that is far from the truth. The irony makes him laugh but that never undermines how he truly feels about you. An angel that deserves to be treated like a queen - that also should be besides him, the no life king.

Alucard is also very verbal of his..."affection" for you. Often compliments but also belittles you, during and outside of battle.

"You think this meager weapon will help you? How adorable."

"What a wonderful night to meet you here, my dear. It's always a pleasure to see you."

"No, I do not mock. I am simply enjoying your little human naivete. It is so precious that I just have to indulge in it. Please, go on, and never let anyone take that quality of yours away."

"Why, how could I ever say no to such a beautiful human? The scent of your blood lured me in, like a sweet lullaby."

With enemies he is especially possessive if you are there/are spoken of.

Any filth and maggot that dares speak your name deserves to die. They think they know you, they think they are better and stronger than you just because they have turned themselves inhuman.

They couldn't be more wrong.

"My darling is a braver and far superior being than your pathetic selves could ever be. So don't you dare speak so foolishly of them or its off with your tongue."

"Oh? You think you can talk to my dear like that and live? Hehehe...a dog like you needs to be pummeled! That human belongs to me!"

He will not mind you hearing all this let alone witness the torment he brings onto these fools. In fact, he enjoys it.

Watch him tear down all those that mock and hurt you, mere insects that are nothing! Nothing compared to you!

Alucard loves to be verbal and scream out for them to beg for mercy that he will never show. He loves torturing them in your name. It is what a monster does. Somewhere in the back of his twisted mind it is a sign of devotion to you that he would slaughter all those that dare proclaim themselves to be your enemies. And if they do, it just gives him the excuse to he more brutal than he is usually.

He also gets a kick in having you watch. Watch, watch, watch! Watch, how a monster tears down the flesh and skin of an weakling all for you! This is what a monster is, dear! See it, hear it, have the stench of blood be ingrained into your mind and senses! See if you can still be human around a monster like him! If you would still show love and kindness to a monster like him!

It's a weird game to test you on one hand, merely because he is curious. Would you still show some kindness to him after all this? He wonders as he thrusts his arm into the enemy's heart.

Nevertheless, he mostly does it because he enjoys killing for you. It's what monsters do.

Love does not exist...

The man and his intentions are obvious. To his master, his fledgling and you.

When approached by any of the three, Alucard chuckles, eerily, and nonchalantly admits his infatuation.

Why, yes, master, the human of this mansion has caught his eye and dead heart. Truly something special they are, wouldn't you agree?

Of course, police girl, will he make sure nothing happens to his darling human. Did you ever think otherwise? Ridiculous.

And when you finally talk to him, Alucard sits there on his throne, quiet before he chuckles again. It grows into cold laughter as he rather indirectly admits it. Why, don't you like the attention he gives you? Him, the no life king? Hellsing's hound? A monster?

Don't you appreciate all that he has done for you? He does so gladly, you know. Anything to make his little human safe and sound, showered in his affection and his alone.

No matter if his strokes are cold and his breath reeks. If his presence is unwanted and you are unaware of his watching eye.

The Vampire feels free to tell you all that he thinks of you - your strength, your character, your beauty, your quirks, weaknesses that are endearing, your humanity.

Yes, dear! Darling! Beloved! Angel! Royalty! Liege!

Yes, this monster adores you! Worships you! Is infatuated with you! You have his dead heart in your hands! His power!

However...not ever will and can Alucard say that he loves you. A monster can be obsessed. A monster can be infatuated. Worship that he cannot have, admire and adore the thing he looks down upon. But a monster does not know "love". It has no soul, no heart. Nothing to sacrifice and be selfless with. Alucard is the complete opposite.

Whatever his emotions may be, they are selfish.

He may admit that, too. That he cannot love. It's simply something impossible, he believes.

He agrees with you, that what he feels is not love. Love...he never knew it. Only the good and the pure can love. He never was either.

But know that this will never stop him.

Whatever you may feel...it doesn't matter in the end. Alucard will continue to be selfish and "love" you in the only way he knows how.

Whatever will you do, human?

On that note, Alucard fully does not expect you to accept him let alone love him.

It's understandable. Just as a monster cannot love in general, a human cannot ever grow to love a true monster.

Parts of him will never change. His desire to destroy and for power, as well as his bloodlust. The regret he feels. He can change but those parts can never be lovable enough to be...normal.

He is aware of it all so he's also fine with this one-sided obsession. He is content with being your freak of nature.

Additionally, the man...enjoys the whole ordeal of you two being the Beauty and the Beast. A twisted version of it. You, a pure, beautiful human cursed and haunted by your bloodthirsty beast. The protection, the loving gestures, gifts left for you to find (all flowers with thorns), the ghostly arms wrapping around you in the dead of the night, the sweet nothings that are incantations of curses, the many eyes watching you, the over-the-top exclamations of adoration...all from your filthy, filthy beast.

All because you showed it an ounce of humanity that it couldn't have.

Now, you are all his.

[messy-gemini1]

Incorrect shit i think Hellsing characters (and reader) would say cause mamas bored

Alucard: *holds a gun out to Reader* Reader: I-I don't believe in guns. Alucard: Well, trust me, they're very real. Now take it. ______

Reader: I still have no idea how I’m attracted to you... Alucard: Yeah, well, you’re stuck with me, and no take backs, honey. ______

Reader: I’m doing what I can to jog your memory. Seras: It’s jogging, I guess. Its tiddies are jiggling a little. Reader: Nice. ______

Reader: Go fuck yourself. Alucard, smugly: Sure, but only if you watch Reader: GET OUT! ______

Reader: Come to dinner tonight. I can’t cook, but I’ll bring plenty of free Blood packets. Alucard: Marry me. ______

Integra: We'll talk about this later. Alucard: Fine, I won’t be listening. ______

Reader: *about Seras and Integra* They make a cute couple, huh? Alucard: They certainly are standing next to each other. ______

Integra: Seras, you'll be working with Reader and Alucard. Seras: Alright! My fantasy threesome! Everyone else: *blank stares* Seras: ...Of people on a team. ______

Reader: Bad news—Seras locked herself outta the manor Reader: Good news—we didn’t have to wait around for a locksmith. Reader: Bad news—Integra finds it very concerning that I know how to pick locks, and tried to unlock my Tragic Backstory(TM). I was too embarrassed to admit that the reason I learned it was because, at thirteen, I figured that was the kind of skill that would impress cute guys/girls/enbies. Reader: Good news—a cute guy/girl/enby saw me do it. Reader: Bad news—it was Alucard, and since they’ve already seen me fall out of several trees, cry because I saw a fawn that was just too damn small, and knows I can ride a unicycle, they’ll never think I’m cool no matter what I do. It’s too late. They know. ______

Alucard: Reader! I can't do this stupid math! Reader: What’s the math problem? Alucard: Well, we have to add the bed, subtract the clothes divide the legs, and hope we don’t multiply. Integra covering Seras' ears, while Reader smacks Alucard upside the head: Not going to lie that was hella smooth. ______

Alucard: We have a problem. Reader: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them.

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

If fighting vampire nazis, gore and guns wasn’t the focus of hellsing, what do you think the actual plot/main conflict could have been? I came across a post where you said alucard is wasted potential so … what kind of plot would show his potential? Also, what kind of a character arc do you think he should have had in a better and more thoughtfully plotted hellsing

Well I wouldn’t say the story isn’t thoughtfully plotted out :C

Like yes, it’s an over the top, campy, gorefest that makes no sense, but it succeeds in what it’s trying to do basically. I think it is genuinely, astonishingly good in a few ways. Hirano is fantastic at pacing and using his panels to give the impression he wants— when he bothers. And it’s surprisingly sound when it comes to structure and thematic motifs? The external plot is bonkers, but the way it handles these characters dealing with/being consumed by their pasts, and the way it uses vampirism/monstrosity as a metaphor is really solid.

Hellsing’s main thematic argument is one of comparing monstrosity and humanity, and pitting them against each other.

All the relevant monsters in Hellsing are presented to be unmoored, destructive, and unable to cope with the present in a meaningful way. They are defined by being incapable of moving beyond their pasts, so they seek out as much destruction as they can until they finally find something that can destroy them in turn. (This is consistent throughout the series but most clearly stated in volume 9)

All the monsters presented in Hellsing grapple with the inability to move on. Explicitly, Millennium’s entire raison d’être is bringing about a final “glorious” war they can die in because the modern world has no place for them anymore. They fight with fucking zeppelins. They’re relics.

Seras’ fight with Zorin hinges on a flashback, digging up all the trauma she never confronted. Walter and Alucard’s final battle is entirely about their history, and it has both of them looking like they did during the Dawn era.

Meanwhile, when Anderson uses the Nail of Helena (directly following the unraveling of Iscariot, and the death of Maxwell, who may as well have been his son), that is him refusing to cope. That is what drives him to monstrosity, to self destruction. That’s why he dies.

And Alucard, as the de facto protagonist, has spent the entire plot with the single motive of finding someone worthwhile to defeat him. He has no personal motivations outside of doing whatever Integra/Hellsing tells him to, and just… killing things for the love of the game until he eventually, finally dies. And his past hangs heaviest on the series. The entire present state of the series basically hinges on the shit he did as Dracula. The one thing we know about this guy is that if he could, he would very much like to die while killing things lol.

Anderson is meanwhile his main foil and most strongly represents the past/the siren song of death to him. He’s suspiciously similar in appearance to Van Helsing in the Bela Lugosi movie (despite Van Helsing looking different in the series itself) Meanwhile each encounter with him is immediately followed by a flashback, and then in that final fight Alucard ends up confronting his past human life.

And he almost gives up during that last fight, until Seras (a representation of the present and future) rouses him out of it. That’s his first real choice to move on. But it’s also established that eventually his past is going to catch up to him, and outweigh his future. It’s treated as a foregone conclusion, even if he’s not to that point yet.

So the Schrodinger thing at the end is really interesting. Because bullshit anime logic or not, the point is that he explicitly has to kill every single familiar he’s accumulated over the centuries, in order to exist in the present. Even then he’s “everywhere and nowhere” (lmao. whatever) which basically gives him the option to fizzle out of existence? So the epilogue existing at all, despite my various annoyances with its writing choices, is an interesting culmination of his arc! He chose to come back to his silly little found family when he really didn’t have to! I like that as an arc.

And in any sort of restructure I would want that preserved, even if the entire plot isn’t conveyed through boss battles. Anyway I’ve said for ages that I would want a monster of the week version of the series, so probs something like that.

Something with like the BTVS (or Supernatural lol) classic structure of small fry enemies per episode that culminate in a season arc/big bad. The ideal tonal and stylistic comparison would be X Files, but their overarching narratives famously sucked lol. Anyway I just would’ve liked a procedural vibe like that. I think the implications of Integra taking over the Badrick situation in the first volume is really interesting. And Seras being a police officer who was super not in the know— when higher ranking people are— was something that could’ve been explored in much more depth. I would’ve loved to see her as a recurring character in their like procedural episodes who keeps brushing up against this weird paranormal leaning stuff she doesn’t understand, until she finally gets involved in something that goes wrong and has to be turned into a vampire (ostensibly to save her life… but maybe to keep her quiet)

I also would love more intra organization drama that doesn’t result in immediate blood shed lol. We’re told that Iscariot and Hellsing have clearly mapped out jurisdictions based on majority religion, and treaties and diplomatic relationships, however strained. Maxwell going “fuck your treaties” is apparently a new thing, so like how does that go! What are the repercussions! What brought this on! And like are there any other similar organizations abroad? Are there team ups? I would like there to be team ups.

Meanwhile the existence of the round table implies that… the entire UK government.. is a sham? That they’re actually living in a secret feudal society? I want to know about the families and the politics and the very likely cartoonish degrees of corruption! The original Studio Gonzo show, very poorly, implemented a plotline where Hellsing became too much of a liability and the Queen specifically decided (lol) to have them publicly labeled as a terrorist organization and arrest everyone involved, pretending that they never had any government ties. That was fun! I would like a good version.

Or like it’s set in the 90s, let’s talk about how much harder it’s going to be to keep the supernatural quiet with the rise of technology, and the Internet. Like idk there’s room for a lot! I would basically just love to see a more sprawling version of this story and world.

My main issue with Alucard also is just that he’s so overpowered physically, that it seems like a waste to always put him in fights where he is 100% no question going to win. Putting him on a ship because the plot simply wouldn’t happen if he was there is 😭😭😭 I think we can have some boss battles, gore, and body horror, bc that is fun. But he just needs more restraints. I’d put more focus on him answering to Integra, who in turn answers to the slow moving machine that is bureaucracy, and just not let him do as much, and with severe consequences if he gets too out of line to maintain some stakes. Meanwhile, having a more mystery procedural approach would’ve balanced things out a bit more imo!

[cry-ptidd]

Laura genuinely makes me so sad, like I cried all silly sometimes ago cause we have a similar past but I went on and she’s like you know..stuck and I wouldn’t want that for anyone :( even if she’s fictional and a killer. I just wish to be kind to her for a moment and tell her a lot of women or really humans feel her pain, that it didn’t turn all of us into monsters. I guess it’s why I’m attached to her because I get it I do, but also…why I hate characters that have SA in their backstory cause it’s really depressing. She’s an amazing character but I can’t help but still wish her punishment and somehow through it all. Peace. That she gets all the punishment she needs and gets some peace right after..a good for good slumber. Even if she doesn’t get that, or feel worthy of it.

This ask actually made me a bit emotional, im gonna be honest. It's one of the most sincere messages I've gotten i think? I am very sorry about what you went through and I will do the same thing you'd do for Laura and tell you to please remember you're not alone and that i believe in you as a person, and that you're still able to move ahead despite everything that's hurt you.

Laura is a character built on cruel irony and tragedy, and many of her aspects are an exaggerated version of views that i also have because of my own trauma (aversion to men, aggression, anger, spite, stubbornness) and the crimes and attitude that would make her an irredeemable character are here to kind of cement the fact she went way too far in her revenge and how being hurt an turn a person into a monster.

But, i rally have to agree with you. Holy FUCK do i pity her. She's not reveling in her evil, she's not actively trying to do more harm (not anymore), and she's just in a state of permanent self-loathing and isolation, where her punishment isn't satisfying to watch or even really clear. You don't really wanna root for her morally, you just kinda wish she'd just... stop. And take a long sleep. Just like you said, a proper, defined punishment, and then let her sleep.

I think this ask sealed the deal of me giving her a canonically somewhat "happy" ending? Maybe a mild one? Where she starts to settle down and indirectly heal alongside Integra and Seras post-canon. A household of damaged women growing alongside each other. Im sure her Creator can decide on a rightful punishment when she passes. Let's just give her a bit of leisure for now.

[pebblezone]

Yo who’s up helling their sing 🙌🙌

[vermont-writes-fanfic]

How they make Breakfast

In response to @gothicchippy , how the people of the Hellsing Organisation and Father Anderson make breakfast! Let me know if there should be a part two!

Requested: I am going to tsay that's a yes

Warnings: Mentions of blood, blood drinking, killing people, and the mention of scars

Characters: Father Anderson, Alucard, Sir integra, Seras, Walter, Pip Bernadotte

Father Anderson:

Seeing as he seems to take care of the children back at the orpahange in Italy, it seems like he would be well versed in some good breakfast making. He would let you help make breakfast and his specialt is an italian breakfast which is simple and consists of yogurt which he would take teh time to make himself, jam and bread and fluffy fresh baked criossants. He lets you help out and will try a breakfast that you might have in mind. He keeps it light and healthy for the kids making sure they are taken care of and raised healthy. He has quite the skill in the kitchen and often times he lets you relax with him ot trace the scrs on his hands as he waits for somthing to cook or bake.

Alucard:

A morning with him isn’t rare though don’t expect it to be bathed in sunlight and giggles. The last time Alucard had human food was…a long time to best put it. He never had to cook anything because his food of choice is blood and Walter took care of all the cooking for the Hellsings. Instead you take it upon yourself to cook instead, though he is never far from you offering to help we’re he can. He’ll crack eggs or toast bread, but after the first few times of trying this little endeavor you learned not to let him man the spices.

Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing

She spends her days holed up in her office most time taking care of her work and looking at the papers she is being sent. Reports from all over the UK of many new young kings appear and in quick succession. Typically she could manage at least toast and Walter always made her tea, but lately even that is left wasted at the table as she works into the late hours. Without much luck and knowing you’re u favorable of her less than healthy eating habits, Walter asks you to coax her into eating breakfast. And you happily oblige, opting for a less American options, you took to fried mushroom, bacon, sausage, and nook and cranny. It was funny, she had no idea how to cook but the moment she was convinced to have breakfast with you and you asked her to cook she smiled and confident as ever she said,

“If I can’t learn how to cook for you, then I can’t call myself your lover now can I?”

With the assistance of Walter you end up at the desired breakfast and enjoy it on the terrace.

Seras

As part of trying to keep her humanity, Seras makes it a point to cook you breakfast almost every morning. Oftentimes you wake up to a bit of juice with some eggs and bacon or the very common beans and toast. When Seras isn’t out working and manages to stay up enough for you two to make breakfast. With a bit of convincing and a promise to clean anything used, she was able to get the kitchen every once in a while, with this she takes you into the kitchen and of course, you help prepare. Washing your hands consists of soap ending up in someone's hair or on their clothes and plenty of goofing around, after, she’ll bring out the sausage, eggs, potatoes, and cabbage and let you take care of the cooking while she peels the potatoes and dices them up. When everything is complete the two of you will sit down in her room and eat chatting about what you had ready for the day while she whines about Alucard or talks about the mission from the previous night. It’s pleasant and pretty sweet as she compliments you on how you can cook. As you eat, she sometimes wishes that she could to, that it didn’t have to be blood.

Walter

Being the top butler in the Hellsing manor, Walter has no trouble making a wonderful breakfast and is capable of making food from around the world. His memory may be a little behind him but he is still capable of making breakfast. He prefers to make the breakfast himself and will often serve you whatever he had made for Sir Integra that morning but if you request something different he is more than happy to oblige. He makes you bubble and squeak most mornings because it is simple enough to make and retains heat more so even if you wake up late it’s warm enough for you to enjoy it. On the chances where Sir Integra is out for the morning or someone else, Alucard, has taken care of serving her breakfast, he will take the time to teach you how to make a light pastry for breakfast.

Pip isn’t one for extravagant meals or something expensive, he’s still a mercenary. However, he does have a taste for the more expensive tasting things so in true french fashion he opts for a light pastry instead. If he is strapped for time then a bit of baguette and some fruit jelly works just fine for the both of you. Other times, if you and him are feeling especially patient you manage to properly make a pastry , while waiting, Pip will pull you into a dance leading you around the kitchen or tell you jokes or stories from his time some years ago overseas. It always comes out a little under or over done, not that the two of you mind.

@gothicchippy

[sacchiri]

I recently bought the jp volumes of Hellsing along with the guidebook, and since I'm reading the series in its native language for the first time I might as well share some random things that stood out to me in no particular order.

This isn't meant to be an analysis of translation differences, I'm too lazy for that. Also it's been 12 years since I've watched the anime and read the low quality fan scans of the manga so some of these comments are just "Lol, forgot this was a thing"

Volume 1

... I really want to know who this guy is at the beginning, yelling at Alucard in overly familiar language to "Get your shit together!" and "You're the only one we can count on!!". We know from the style of speech that it's a dude, probably just some Hellsing rando, and maybe it's not all that strange since he has probably been working with the same soldiers for years--but it's still funny.

"I know, it's just so nice out :("

..The way "HELLSING Organization" is spelled out like this reminds me that apparently the name is supposed to be an acronym. No really.

...

God they're so silly.

Now that I think about it, the only thing Seras has done this chapter since being turned into a vampire is say "I'm sorry" over and over.... girl you got shot in the lung, why are you apologizing

Not a huge difference, but what Integra actually says here is "Leaving a corpse here for 20 years... You're a terrible person too, Father" and not "What were you thinking, Father?" as the Dark Horse translation suggests (note the lack of question mark in the raw version). I thought that might be of interest to some.

Something else I thought was interesting is the first line Alucard ever says to Integra, and how uncharacteristically polite he sounds.

O-kega wa gozaimasenka- That's two honorific 御's back to back! (He even said them in kanji, even Walter isn’t that straightlaced and he’s literally the butler.) This is also the only time Alucard uses this overly flowery gentlemanly language with her, and good thing too because it would be so annoying if he spent the whole manga ending his sentences with ~gozaimasu.

What I'm trying to get at is, after seeing this sentence in the Japanese version, I'm like 100% sure he actually heard her when she was mumbling to herself about hoping to find a knight in shining armor, and he was totally going the extra mile in playing into that role for their first encounter. Which is kind of sweet.

Lol they misspelled Alucard on the top left... or rather, they incorrectly spelled it right?

One would normally expect Alucard to be written アルカード, and indeed pixiv dict lists アーカード as a misspelling (the u sound is weak in Japanese, so it's easy to mishear arukādo as ākādo). Hirano was definitely aware of the correct spelling though, since he used it in the pilot chapter and in his old character sheets. It was only when the manga officially began that he switched to the アーカード spelling. I doubt it was because of copyright issues because there is already a long precedent of vampire characters named アルカード in various old manga, OVA, and games in Japan that have coexisted without issue (like this guy Hirano mentions in volume 1's afterword).

Most likely Hirano simply thought it looked better, or was a means of differentiating his character from the others somehow. It certainly makes life easier for Japanese fans searching for fanart since アーカード is only going to bring up Hellsing and not the Castlevania character.

Jan Valentine even pokes fun at the spelling discrepancy later in volume 2, but since there wasn't a good way of expressing this in English it was left untranslated.

(Speaking of spelling inconsistencies, there's a lot of minor details I'm noticing now, like half the time the furigana for 吸血鬼 is written バンパイア and the other half it's ヴァンパイア... anyway)

Um, just noticed literally everyone's wearing glasses What should I do

Hirano's habit of jotting random comments underneath his panels is one of the underrated perks of reading the manga

The Dark Horse translation almost makes it sound like she's looking forward to seeing this battle play out, while in the Japanese she simply sounds apprehensive. Almost as if she's worried about them? And she's going out on the field personally to make sure nothing bad happens? Aww

Ok this is a weird tangent, but I just noticed the scans of the Dark Horse version I've been looking at use a slightly larger image range than the Japanese version does. It was only noticeable when I got to this part:

The second image is what the Japanese version of the scan looks like and I can confirm that this is what it looks like in my physical volume as well. You shouldn't be seeing the messy borders of the inking on the bottom like that.

Manga manuscripts are set up so that there are a few millimeters of bleed border around each page. You're supposed to color and line all the way up to (4) while keeping in mind that printing and paper cutting may result in the image being trimmed up to (3).

Either Hirano didn't color his lines all the way to (4) (this man has been drawing manga for years but this is Hirano we're talking about so it's very possible), or Dark Horse didn't honor the original bleed borders of the manuscript. I'm kind of leaning towards the former since there was a Hellsing exhibit in Japan a few years back where you could look at Hirano's original manuscripts and there's one where you can clearly see that he spilled a mug of tea or coffee across the entire page

Anyway, it's weird, and I'm curious to see if someone that owns a physical copy in English can confirm whether theirs actually looks like that. It's volume 1, page 141.

[yan-lorkai]

Yellow can I request yandere platonic Integra would comfort someone who is scared or having a panic attack, crying , or scared whether it be baby ,child, teen and adult?🤔 Weather it's with a hu or talking to them gently fluff.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ A/N: She'll be so sweet and caring, I just know. Also this is my third Integra request and I love it. She's such a fun character to write and imagine in these sorts of situations. I hope you like it as well, darling!

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Warnings: Very soft platonic yandere Integra, gn!reader, age wasn't mentioned but I was imagining a teen/young adult, panic attack, fluff

"It's okay, honey." Her voice was a sanctuary, grounding you as she sits before you. Despite wanting to take you in her arms and soothe you, Integra resists. She knows how uncomfortable that would be for you, having her arms around you, just another thing putting pressure on your tired mind. "Calm down. Breathe in, breathe out, slowly. Slowly."

You try to follow her command, attempting to breathe, but it's so difficult. Your thoughts racing about multiple things all at once, and your lungs refuse to cooperate. A wheeze escapes your throat, everything is painful and suffocating.

You reach out to Integra, gripping her hand tightly. She doesn't mind. In fact, she holds your hand with both of hers just as tightly, even stronger.

I'm here for you, is the message unsaid. But you know, somewhere deep inside your mind that this is the true.

"The voices in your head, you have to let them go. Focus on me," She commands, her voice stern yet soft like when she's guiding you through a chess game or explaining her strategies to you, even if can't fully grasp their meaning entirely. "I'm going to ask you a few things, is that alright?"

You nod, the movement barely perceptible but her trained gaze is able to notice it. You take a shaky breath again, trying to mimic her calmness. Despite this, you feel your body shaking and trembling, the air restricted on your lungs. The pressure that's been building up trying to swallow you whole right at this instant.

"Can you tell me where you are right now?"

"Home," You manage to whisper, your voice strained. "Hellsing manor."

"That's right," Integra says, a small smile tugging at her lips. "You're safe here. Now, can you tell me what you see around you?"

You glance around, your vision blurry with tears. "The room... your face... our hands."

"Good," She praises softly, a hand caressing your cheeks fondly. "Keep going, dear. Describe everything you can see but it's also all right if you can't do it right now. We can just sit here in silence for a while."

You hum, describing the familiar objects in the room, the details of her face, the warmth of her hands. You describe the curtain's colors, the wallpaper, the hourglass above Integra's table. With each word, the fog in your mind though fight to persist. It's a slow process and oh so draining.

"Now, listen to my voice," And you listen. Her certainty unwavering. "What can I get you to make you feel better? Do you want a drink? Some food? You can ask for anything, my dear."

What can she get you? You can’t think. Your mind is a bit chaotic right now, thoughts crashing into each other, a cacophony of fears and doubts swimming on your chest. Do you want a drink? Water feels like it might drown you. Food? The thought of swallowing anything makes your stomach churn.

You look at her. Her eyes are still staring at you so gently, so softly, the world seems right as long as she nearby. You stare at your united hands, a breathy gasp leaving you.

"If possible," You mumble low. "Your company would do me well."

Her grip tightens slightly, you chose to focus on the warmth of her skin against yours, the room feels a little less oppressive with her right in front of you.

"I'm here," Integra says softly, her voice like a balm to your frayed nerves as she very slowly pull you to her chest. "I'm not going anywhere."

You take another shaky breath, the air a bit easier to draw in now. The panic still lingers, a dark cloud on the edges of your mind, but her presence is a beacon of clarity cutting through the fog. You focus on that, on her, on the safety she proportionate.

She talks softly, her words a gentle murmur, and you let them wash over you. You don’t catch every word, but the tone is soothing, a reminder that you’re not alone and you have someone beside you right now. You squeeze her hand, a silent thank you, and she squeezes back, a wordless promise that she’s here for you.

The storm inside you calms, the waves of panic receding slowly. You focus on your breathing, matching it to the rhythm of her steady presence. It’s still hard, but you’re managing.

You’re not alone and for now that’s enough.

[krewekreep]

How He Would Really Be (or) Baby Daddy Red Flags

I might also name this Baby Daddy Red Flags 😂😭 I don’t know

Actually this is gonna be a lil fun text post series that’s slightly fan fic but moreso a Drabble that’s acknowledges our collective delusion. It comes from a tumblr experience I had I’ll elaborate on and link later:

First Off: Alucard (Hellsing / Hellsing Ultimate)

He’s an OG baby daddy tbh (I’m black I know I’m using og wrong, it’s been butchered beyond redemption. Oh well. 😭) he’s truly part of my “damn this type is not good for me in real life.” (LMAOAOAO)

I love yall but alucard (hellsing) is so overtly and dangerously yandare (one of my main men so im not judging) but I am amused by coding to him to be “mean to everyone but me” if he in character grew that true of a bond with you. 1. You’re never going outside or out of his site like actually 2. You could do whatever you want INSIDE but like don’t try to leave 😭 3. You’re literally never gonna be independent again like fuck him just eavesdropping all the time he’s gonna be lurching over you so bad your back is to his chest every other step 😭

I can absolutely see him getting “mad” at you when his affection INEVITABLY gets overwhelming. I could see Alucard wanting to dress you, bathe you, and while it can seem hot that’s pretty…👀 he also would absolutely put you in a situation you think he won’t save you from but does. Likewise any public outing requires hand holding the entire time. Don’t worry he’s strong enough to maneuver you as he needs but I get annoyed when men just use their strength randomly with me 😭 not negative but like okay big boy wtf 😂

He’d throw you to the wolves and have you likely in some real ass traumatizing fake dangerous scenarios to save you and make you that much more dependent on him. This is literally Vlad the Impaler (for those who watched Ultimate, plus that form is genuinely so fucking hot omfg.) he lowkey did this to Sera mind you 😭 he literally will let Anderson scare the fuck out of you cause they’ll both have the hidden agenda of mutual amusement (like their literally bros if they stopped being intolerant of each other LMAOAOA)

That is a man of overreaction, self indulgence, self righteousness, and performance…have fun. ���

Again…you think he gonna let you have any freedom? Your choices will be faux independent my loves. You’re his and I imagine (me @ 12 Jesus I needed another baptism) you likely wanna be his 😭 but yeah girl all men are burdens he’ll just be a really parental, controlling one. Plus he old as hell and will likely wanna lecture your young mortal ways like ew shut up grandpa. Only way out is linking up with Sera and Integra. Sera will sneak you out and have safe fun with and Integra will be sure to demand Alucard leave you both alone. You’ll be supported and protected but def link up with the girlies to keep him in check.

(This actually literally amuses me so much and feels very sex in the city for no reason lmaoo) + who else is actually gonna be the worst to be with? (Gojo, all tea all shade)

[autumnaaltonen]

Hello, I wanted to ask if it was possible to have a Headcannons of Alucard x mute Reader, please. I love what you do :)

Due to my background with deafness and depression, I have had periods in my life where I was selectivley mute for several months at a time, so I can really relate to this one! I'll give it my best shot.

Alucard With a Mute S/O

In Alucard's mind, he has a mental list of every human in his unlife that dictates remembering by name and face, and then a lower list of those he simply passes by on a day-to-day basis.

And as Walter's new apprentice, you had found yourself placed in that latter list.

It wasn't from lack of trying, mind you, you have been attempting to get the handsome vampire to notice you for some time. Unfortunatly, without a voice to make yourself heard, Alucard has simply brushed you by with every interaction, never sticking around long enough for you to wave a "hello" or try to show him something you find interesting.

He's an eccentric creature, you understand, but that made it no less frustrating to be ignored when you were always by Walter or Sir Integra's side.

While usually on the sidelines, you begin to request more advanced jobs from Walter, which are usually assigned to himself. Things like delivering Alucard and Seras's blood bags, and cleaning the Jackel and the Casull before missions. Walter was hesitant, given Alucard's track record for tormenting new staff, but he admired your courage none-the-less and allowed you to do as you pleased.

Once you began to be seen in Alucard's peripheral more and more often, you knew that it was only a matter of time before he tried to pull some shit on you. But you were prepared.

Working under Walter and Sir Integra has its perks, including learning about all of Alucard's usual shenanigans. Apparently, his ultimate goal is always to get a good scream out of someone, or at least really piss them off. So you were already one step ahead of the game.

Centipedes appearing in your bedsheets? Gross, but you obviously don't say anything of it, and choose to sleep on the couch instead.

Dead WW2 soldier in the utility closet? It made you jump, but that was about it. Once you poke it with a broom, it dissipates into a pile of black mist.

Extra blood and guts all over the Jackel and Cassull? This is why Covid gave us masks and rubber gloves.

While you had hoped to gain Alucard's respect, or at some point even his affections, in the end all you managed was to make him pissed and thuroughly confused. You haven't made a peep once, and it was wholly unnatural.

Alucard eventually confronts you on your way to Sir Integra's office, materializing through the wall and pinning you against it in frustration. You are visibly startled, but still silent as always while looking up at the beautiful No-Life-King.

"What is the matter with you?" he glowers down at you. "Am I a joke to you? A mere inconvenience?"

You continue to look at him with wonder in your eyes, admiring his sharp fangs and impressive stature. "Now you don't deem me worthy of a single word? I should tear you to threads and feed you to my hound."

Now that catches your attention. He doesn't know? Seriously?

You lift your hand, squeezing it between you and Alucard's impressive chest, and tap your throat a couple of times while shaking your head.

You see Alucard's eyes widen in recognition, standing motionless against you for a few more moments, before a wide smile spreads across his face. He throws his head back in laughter, moving away from you to throw his hands on his chest in disbelief.

After that precarious interaction, you finally found yourself on Alucard's radar, just like your superiors. Your confidence grows with every moment he spends with you, and you get to be more bold in your interactions.

You use your silent character to your advantage. Sometimes while serving Sir Integra with Alucard around, you'll stand behind her and copy her movements and sour expression. It gets a chuckle out of Alucard every time, admiring the balls you have to do that right behind your boss.

While in meetings, the both of you make a game out of talking without words. You frown and hook your finger over your top lip, making fun of Sir Irons' new bushy moustache. Alucard would raise his thumb and pinky finger in the air and motion it towards his mouth, mocking the drunkard old man who slurs through his report. It earns you both a heated glare from Sir Integra, but you have yet to get caught otherwise.

You thought it would bother him more that you could not talk back to him, but you quickly learn that it has been a good while since Alucard had someone who would simply listen.

He's a servant and a weapon, and while he is free to speak, it isn't as if anyone besides Seras ever heed's his words. You are a welcome change, eager and willing to listen to him drawl on about any old thing. But to you, it isn't drawl. His stories are enthralling, his opinions fascinating, and old soul never ceases to entertain you when he speaks of his past.

While you are rarely ever able to contribute to the conversation, the both of you find contentment in each others company. It's been so long since someone actually wanted to spend time with you.

Alucard learns about you little-by-little. Where you came from, why you're here, why you cannot speak, and how you get by without a voice. Now you feel like you're listened to, and you don't even make a sound. What a world this creature is bringing you into.

It isn't long before the two of you attached at the hip, and you found Alucard beginning to return your subtle affections. While you are without words, he finds poetry in your companionship and song in your smile. The both of you are built to break each others boundaries and discover something new every day.