#Incorrect Primeval

[i-was-bored-so-this-happened]

[at Sarah's funeral]

Becker: How could you do this to me? We are so criminally understaffed.

[ruthkearneydaily]

Connor: Can I use your office chair?

Stephen: I’m using it.

Connor: You’re not spinning.

Stephen: I don’t want to spin.

Connor: You’re using it wrong.

[incorrect-maraudersaandco-quotes]

Pandora: You know what? Underneath it all, you're actually quite nice. Regulus: Repeat that disgusting slander again and you'll be hearing from my lawyers.

[harveybwabbit92]

{R/n picks up a discarded laser rifle and guns down three hostile aliens with relative ease.]

Glenfire: Where did you learn to do that?!

R/n: Most of my friends back home liked sports or chess club. (reloads) I preferred clay pigeons.

[ladymiraclewings]

Claw Noir: You know what? Underneath it all, you're actually quite nice. Shadybug: Repeat that disgusting slander again and you'll be hearing from my lawyers.

[queenclaudiabrown]

*the entire team is high, drunk, or both*

Connor: So what makes a butcher knife more butch than other knives?

Stephen: The knife itself isn't necessarily butch. It’s named that because it's wielded by a butcher, who is more butch than the other food shop owners.

Connor: Hmm, I see.

Abby: What, then, makes the butcher more butch than other food shop owners?

Stephen: The knife.

[practically-an-x-man]

Director: alright, here's the role. We're looking for a suave, Southern-

Casting director: *already typing in a phone number*

Director: -slightly terrifying mass murderer.

Casting director: *holding up the phone* yeah, yeah, I know, I've got Mr. Holbrook on the line right here. He'll do it.

[incorrect-niche-quotes]

Tea: You know what, underneath it all, you're actually quite nice.

Kalen: Repeat that disgusting slander again and you'll be hearing from my lawyers.

[dryadsys]

Abby: it's dark in here.

Connor: oh don't worry, I got this, *stomps his feet and his sketchers light up*

[whencyclopedia]

Garden of Eden

The Garden of Eden is the biblical earthly paradise created by God to be inhabited by his first human creation - Adam and Eve. Some claim that the name “Eden” derives from the Akkadian term edinu, which means 'plain'. In the biblical tradition, the garden is often alluded to by the biblical authors as a luxuriant place, which is why it is sometimes called the “Garden of God.” However, it is the biblical definition of the garden that is our concern here. Adam was the first man created by God in his image. After God saw the loneliness of Adam as "not good," God caused a deep sleep on Adam and created Eve (the first woman) out of Adam's rib as his helper (Genesis 2:20-23). To properly understand what the garden is to the narrator of Genesis, it is important to discern its location, the characters playing roles in it and what took place in it. All these contribute to our understanding of the biblical definition of the “Garden of Eden.”

The Eden narrative is narrated in the Bible's book of Genesis 2:4b-3: 24, which places the garden at the east side of Eden. Commonly, translations have the “Garden of Eden” with the construct element “of,” but the Hebrew text has 'gan-beeden', which is not in the construct form, and that the preposition “be” in 'beeden' is to be translated as “in.” Therefore, it is grammatically incorrect to translate 'gan-beeden' as “Garden of Eden,” but the “Garden in Eden.” The actual location of Eden is disputed amongst scholars, but a number of them have concluded that the garden is an extraterrestrial place – where the gods resided. The water from the garden was the water-source for the two great rivers: Tigris and Euphrates, which are well-known in ancient Mesopotamia for the production of irrigation systems in the surrounding area. Its location then should be placed somewhere in Mesopotamia.

Location & Features

The description of the garden in Genesis 2:10-14 states that the water from Eden watered four important areas: Pishon, which flows into the land of Havilah; Gihon, which flows into the land of Cush; Tigris, which flows into the eastern side of Assyria; and the fourth is Euphrates. The garden is also said to have “every tree that is pleasant to the sight and good for food.” Yet, two trees are singled out: the “Tree of Life” in the middle of the garden and the “Tree of Knowledge of good and evil.” However, the Genesis account is inconsistent at some point, Genesis 2:8-9; 3:1-3 has both trees in the midst of the garden, whereas Genesis 3:22-24 gives the possibility that both trees were planted on the east side of the garden where Adam was originally placed.

Even more, the description of the garden in the Genesis account is not identical with other biblical texts alluding to the garden. For example, in Ezekiel 28, the luxuriant materials found in the garden are not mentioned in Genesis 2:4b-3:24. For some of these reasons, the concept of a “garden” of a god(s) was a very common metaphor in the ancient Near East of where the god(s) resided. For the narrator of Genesis, the “Garden in Eden” was imaginatively constructed for an etiological (origin or cause of things) purpose, not as a divine residence, but of the first man and woman on earth – Adam and Eve. As generally accepted in modern scholarship, Genesis 1-11 is labeled as the “Primeval History,” which includes mythologies and legends that were very common not just in Israel, but throughout the ancient Near East. These myths and legends are not Israelite in origin but were adapted by the biblical writers for either polemical or rhetorical purposes.

Some of the crucial questions readers ought to ask to properly discern the “Garden in Eden” are: What is the purpose of the Eden narrative in the book of Genesis? What did the narrator seek to achieve? Importantly, to reach this goal, readers should not treat the “Garden in Eden” exclusively from the characters playing roles in the narrative, such as God, Adam, Eve, the serpent, the singled out trees: tree of life and the tree of knowledge of good and evil, and especially the narrator's overall purpose. To focus exclusively on the "garden" without acknowledging these characters would only disrupt the plot of the narrative.

Continue reading...

[thoughtfulfoxllama]

Well, you asked, and I'm answering:

Egyptian Mythology and Mormon Theology: Comparing & Contrasting

This all began when I read the Book of Abraham, obviously. It didn't start with the Facsimiles however, but the Origin Myth of Egypt in Chapter 1, in which Abraham says that Egypt was founded by "Pharaoh," and was built after the order of Adam. But, before I can go on, we have to discuss what myths are

Myths

When you think Myth, you might think of something that's incorrect, such as the Flat Earth. But, in a scholarly sense, myths are stories, specifically linked to how the Divine interacts with mankind, and has lessons for the believer in that myth (often symbolically encoded, like Christ's Parables)

I have several neopagan friends, and most of them are not "mythical literalists," literally believing the myths are true. But, they're still important, because they tell them how their gods interact with Worshippers

On the other hand, the Book of Mormon is a Mythic Text. I believe it is a literal text, but it is also mythic, because it tells how God interacts with man

So, when I say Myth, I am not saying it was literally believed (because it may or may not have been), but I'm also not saying it didn't happen

The Creation

In the beginning, there was only the darkness of Nun (the Waters of Chaos, similar to Guinungagap in Norse Myth, or Matter Unorganized in the Temple Myth). From Nun, emerged Benben, the Home of the Gods. With Benben, came Ra, the God of Light (possibly in the form of Khepri). Ra [redacted because grossness], and from his Nose & Mouth came Shu (the God of Air), and Tefnut (the Goddess of Moisture)

Shu & Tefnut joined together, and bore Nut (the Sky Goddess) and Geb (the Earth God). Nut became pregnant with Quadruplets (or Pentuplets, depending on the Story). Ra forbade Nut from giving birth during the year, and so Nut (possibly using Thoth as an intermediary) won 5 days of light from Konshu (the Moon God), which is where the last 5 days of the year come from

This relates to the Creation Myth we believe in:

From Matter Unorganized comes a Creator, who separates the opposites (whether Wet & Dry and Land & Sky, or Light from Dark and Sea from Sky). Both take primeval Chaos (Isfet), and seek to impose divine Order (Ma'at), knowing it takes constant effort to maintain, and with Chaos seeking to take what is used to have (Entropy in modern terms, depicted by the Chaos Serpent in ancient cultures, such as Apophis in Egyptian Mythology, Tiamat in Babylonian, and Jormangander in Norse)

The Purging

Mankind began to dishonor the gods, leading to Ma'at being lost. Ra, in his rage, tore out his eye and set it upon humanity. This is how Sekhmet was born. She slaughtered anyone who came across her, leading to a flood of blood across the land. To preserve the righteous portion, Ra created Bastet (Goddess of Cats, which were called "Mau" in Egyptian, which is awesome), and sent her to trick Sekhmet into returning. She gave Sekhmet Beer, disguised as blood, and then Ra came to turn her into Hathor (Goddess of Joy, Dance, Motherhood, Beauty, and so on)

Likewise, in Mormon Mythology, we have the Great Flood. The sins of humanity displeased God. God decided to destroy humanity but preserved Noah & his family. One of these children (Ham) had a daughter (Zepta) who founded the Land of Egypt and placed her son on the throne

In both, humanity is left wasted by a Flood because of their sins. Righteous Humans are preserved and offer sacrifice when the disaster abates. A symbol of destruction (the Rainbow & Sekhmet), are turned into symbols of hope (the Rainbow as a promise, and Sekhmet becoming Hathor)

The Great Conflict

Picking up from Creation, Nut has 4 Children: Osiris, Isis, Nepthys, and Set

Osiris essentially civilized humanity. Humans lived as animals, and cannibalism was rampant (in every story I have read, specifically mention cannibalism. I guess the issue is it wasn't Word of Wisdom-approved cannibalism). He created cities, farming, beer, and his inventions stop after that last one...

Set desired the throne, and so had Osiris murdered and mutilated. Isis gathered 13 of the 14 pieces of his body from across Egypt (the 14th had to be remade), creating the mummification process. After a brief reunion, Isis bore Horus

Horus & Set fight several times, and Horus eventually wins the throne (don't ask how. Please)

Now, Osiris acts both as a Christ Metaphor, and an "Adam" Metaphor (Adam in the sense of the Temple Endowment)

Osiris as Christ- Christ is the King of the World. He came to a world where humanity was living out of order and taught them how to live. His brother (Lucifer), jealous of his kingship, had him tortured and killed. However, not only did he come back from the dead, it is through his resurrection that we are all able to be resurrected

Osiris as "Adam"- Abraham directly associated himself with Osiris (as I'll cover when I get to the Facsimiles). In essence, one must die. In ancient Egyptian temples (specifically kingship rituals), one must kill who they were, to become someone new, someone divine

This is in direct relation to the Temple Endowment, where one is ordained to become a king/queen, receives a name (like the Ren, an important part of the Soul in Egyptian Religion), learns about and embodies Adam, enters the Lone & Dreary World (the Land of the Dead), is brought to the Terrestrial World (his resurrection & the conception of Horus, which connects to the Law of Chastity being given here), and then crosses the Veil (becomes King of the Afterlife)

The First Pharaoh

Horus is born to a dead father and has a wicked uncle trying to kill him. He grows up a warrior, with the aid of his mother. His mother, having received the Ren of Ra, has unbelievable power, but is still unable to depose Set. After a display of his... Power, the other gods make him the Pharaoh. The descendants of Horus are the line of Pharaohs

We don't learn the name of the Pharaoh in Abraham, so I will call him Pharaoh. We only know that Pharaoh was a righteous and intelligent individual, but I believe we can piece together a more complete story. Zepta or her husband had a brother (I don't believe in a global flood, so maybe he was an important individual when she arrived, or maybe she fostered his ambition). When he died, the bother sought kingship and probably wanted to kill the pregnant Zepta

In some of the Apocrypha, Ham stole the Garments of Adam & Eve from Noah (and this is why Canan was cursed by Noah). Mayhaps, Zepta got these garments herself (there is a clear connection between the Name we receive in the Initiatory & the Name because we receive them together), and this was her power, and how she was able to crown her son. After all, Adam & Eve both had garments, but we only see where Adam's go (Canan to Nimrod to Esau to Jacob)

Misc

1.) Set works for Ra, keeping Apophis from destroying Ma'at. He is the God of Disorder, but you can't have Ma'at without a little chaos

Brigham Young said that every world has a tempter, and it is necessary for the Agency of Man (Opposition in All Things). And we can see Lucifer obeying God in the Book of Job

2.) The Field of Reeds is the Paradisiacal Afterlife. Everyone has their own plot of land to farm (which is always fruitful), they hang out with their friends & families and often throw feasts

Not only will the Earth become the Celestial Kingdom, and that it will be like it was before the Fall during the Millenium, but we often don't put those 2 together. Everyone gets their own plots to work, we are with our families, and it's not just laying back, but actually working (farming & hunting in the Field of Reeds, creating worlds without number in the Celestial Kingdom)

3.) The Heart of a person is removed by Anubis and weighed against the Feather of Ma'at. One must testify as to their righteousness, and if the heart weighs less than the feather, then one is sufficiently pure

Although not doctrine (in the sense of being in the scriptures or conference), it is a common folk belief in the Church (beginning with the Brad Wilcox talk "His Grace is Sufficient") that we will choose our Degree, based on where we feel comfortable. The Judgement is just our Testimony of who we are, and where we want to go

This post is already too long, so I will make another post for the Facsimilies

[i-was-bored-so-this-happened]

Connor: I wish I were one of those people who thrive on the danger of leading a double life. You know, Bruce Wayne, Peter Parker, Hannah Montana.

[ruthkearneydaily]

Connor: Everybody, I have a crush... on Stephen.

Abby: Same.

Ryan: ... What?!

Nick: Get with the times, Ryan. Everybody has a crush on Stephen.

Lester: *nodding*

[raidhosketchonhematite]

Okay, like, forgive our intrusion and rambling and everything, but we've read it and just kinda had a thought. Warning: this is about Glitch by Jenna Moran. Still with us? So.

When you see the Ninuan with your own eyes, it's very much obviously unreal. There's literally nothing there - just a void, for all senses - and all ramblings of the Excrucians about the great, drowned, silvered land, they just feel insane, y'know? And, well, Nobodies are not like that. Okay, for this whole thing to make sense, let's talk reality. Reality as a parameter - something you can have different amounts of, or assign a number to. Let us assume that reality climbs up as the number does - but if you go down, or, crucially, go negative - this paradigm starts to meander. Low reality, obviously, means a lesser existence - with the objects at zero or less not existing at all. But there's also a second property to reality - that of definitiveness, of uniqueness, of character - and it climbs in a different way. For the things in Ninuan, the primeval void, do not exist - but they are defined, nonetheless. To quote:

"A Not-apple has no weight, no mass, no color, and no taste, but the color that it does not have is red. If you want to deny this, and say that the color that it doesn’t have is green, that is a different Not-apple that you speak of; neither may exist, of course, but the two are not the same — and one, and not the other, may well be present in a given portion of the Not. Because the Not does not exist, because it lacks the quality of existence, it also lacks the quality of intrinsically incorrect existence. Things of the Not are not wrong. They are simply, and each of them, themselves."

This is a very good example of negative reality! Because, see, while the existence climbs up linearly, the definitiveness is gained (and lost) as you go from (or towards) zero.

Good news, though! Glitch does have a representation to the sort of unreality that Nobodies have. The one near zero. These are called lacunae - and, generally speaking, pretty much all Ninuanni hate those. Because, see, they're BAD at being unreal. They fail the most basic test of the λ-things.

They actually exist.

Something of a sequel to the big Nobody headcanon post but this one’s less sciency and philosophical and more “it’s not canon but it’d be sick as hell if it was.” that being said I think it’d be sick as hell if all the human-looking Nobodies had strange passive effects relating to their elements that happen when they’re in the vicinity

Xemnas - Nothingness - a deep, deep sense that something is wrong. no elaboration

Xigbar - Space - enclosed spaces seem a bit too cramped, and open spaces seem a bit too open. the intense pressure of claustrophobia, and the vertigo of acrophobia. no matter what, you’re always acutely aware that there’s an awkward distance between you and anything else around

Xaldin - Wind - there’s a draft in the area and you’re never gonna find where it’s coming from

Vexen - Ice - very chilly hands. why am I cold it’s not a cold day today

Lexaeus - Earth - he takes a step. the earth seems to tremor just a little. is it an earthquake? does anyone else feel that??? pull out the seismometer. nothing. huh

Zexion - Illusion - something’s wrong with the lights in the room… feels a little too dark. like when you go inside after being in bright sunlight outdoors and your vision hasn’t adjusted, but it doesn’t ever adjust. He himself is always an inch or two away from where he appears to be, and is generally hard to focus your eyes on. It’s worth noting this is intentionally the only visual effect

Saïx - Moon - looking in his eyes causes a sense of nausea and instability that gets worse the longer the eye contact lasts. your sanity might be slipping. this was blatantly ripped off of Reisen from Touhou. he also radiates power when in the moonlight

Axel - Fire - why am I warm it’s not a warm day today

Demyx - Water - okay please i can’t come up with anything other than “damn it feels humid today” and that’s gross so if anyone can come up with anything better please-

Luxord - Time - time seems to move either too quickly or too slowly. what do you mean it’s already been an hour? what do you mean only 2 minutes have passed? this one goes out to my homies with time blindness who get to experience this one already

Marluxia - Flowers - huh. allergies seem to be acting up. don’t have seasonal allergies? you do now, apparently. why does it smell like flowers everywhere

Larxene - Lightning - everything seems to have a static aura to it, but the shock never comes. contact with her directly does give a shock, though

Roxas - Light - y’know, for some reason, this kid seems, like, really trustworthy? I don’t know what it is but he seems like a good kid :)

Naminé - Memory - being around her… there’s something in the corner of your mind. an old memory you’d forgotten about. this all reminds you of something but you can’t grasp what it is

–

Each of these effects lies in perception and emotion alone. They’d be completely impossible to measure, even if it seems like they should be measurable. There are no temperature differences, in reality. No time dilatation. There is no light breeze blowing through the room there are no allergens in the air there’s nothing wrong with the lights there’s nothing. It all just seems that way. Just like Nobodies, and just like The World That Never Was. They seem human– very convincingly. But there’s something missing. It seems like a city, but though the lights are on, no one lives in those buildings. It’s all for the sake of seeming. Feels real enough, and can have an impact, but there’s no true substance behind it.

Also only kinda related but I think if you look in the eyes of any Nobody you get a sense of wrongness. It’s different for all of them– might be a manic look, might be a glimpse into unknowably dark depths, etc– but ultimately you look in the eyes of a Nobody and go “oh there is something wrong with this person”. The eyes are the window to the soul (or the heart), after all. Following that logic, the more a Nobody’s heart grows, the more that effect goes away. The main elemental one doesn’t though. stay uncomfortably warm around Axel forever

And while I’m here

Xemnas, Saïx, and Xigbar all have somewhat catlike eyes. It’s most obvious with Xigbar. This includes the reflective eyes in the dark

those three also have pointy ears but so does Xaldin??? I don’t know why? it’s just…. a thing??? so in a similar vein, I think all the norts + a couple others should get sharp teeth. no there’s not a pattern. but it has to be characters who can actually pull off the look, for the rule of cool

Ienzo always had keen senses but becoming a Nobody sharpened them even more. ALL of them. Everything’s a little too much all the time. it sharpened everyone’s senses but it was worst for him

I think it’s a given that Vexen Lexaeus and Zexion had Nobodies of a specific class based on them and we just never got to see it but I think Naminé deserves to have special guys too. Though I bet if she did, Marluxia and Larxene wouldn’t have let her do anything with them and then DiZ would’ve been like “get those things out of my sight” :(

thinking about the greater Nobodies having physical traits that link them to their respective lessers but I don’t actually have any ideas, I just think the concept would be neat

[harveybwabbit92]

[Akari, the Tri-squad and Mebius are investigating a possible poacher encampment when they hear reports of trader caravans being attack on the road towards a canyon settlement.]

Taiga: I can’t see anything.

Akari: Be quiet a minute and let me think here... Quiet!

Fuma: We didn’t say anything.

Akari: No, I mean it’s too quiet. Listen. There’s no birdsong.

{Everyone looks around the silent road nervously.]

Titas: Not a peep.

Fuma: They were scared off.

Mirai: What would scare the birds away? (He notices a large footprint in the dirt.) You were wrong, it’s not poachers. There's a kaiju...A big one.

Taiga: Where?

Akari, looking up: We’re standing right underneath it.

(The others look up and gasp. and see bat-like kaiju is flying way above them.)

Akari: It’s an aerial predator.

[queenclaudiabrown]

Connor: *does something dumb*

Abby: I can't believe I'm going to sleep with him.

Danny: You don't have to.

Abby: No, I'm gonna.