#In case you're wondering how my mental state is currently

[jorvikzelda]

Good god I need to go for a walk tomorrow and look at the horses

[nyoomerr]

Hi! You're one of my fave fic writers, so I hope it's not too foward if I ask some writing advice? I'm currently working on my own fic, and it feels like my brain is working overtime. When you're writing scenes, do you struggle to find a balance between dialogue and just texts describing the situation the characters are in? How exactly do you plan for the execute fic ideas you have? Again, love your work!

hello! i'm always quite flattered when y'all enjoy my writing enough that you think of me when you'd like to ask for advice, no worries at all! 🥰 just remember that this is advice about what works best for me personally, and there's a lot of different styles of writing out there that i'm not as familiar with as the one that i personally use, etc etc.

all advice under the cut, so it doesn't clog anyone's dash up!

for balancing dialogue/descriptions: personally, i find that a dialogue-heavy story tends to be more character driven + interesting to read, so it's what i prefer. if it's possible to convey an important plot point via an interaction between characters, i'll usually try to do so, with an exception for things that aren't very interesting and therefore are best conveyed as quickly as possible in just a short text description.

there are a couple cases i can think of where incorporating dialogue doesn't always come as naturally as "characters A and B are in a scene together and stuff happens," though, so here's some of my thoughts on those -

if i want to convey some sort of montage (xyz happens, time passes, etc etc), the bulk of that montage actually happening usually just ends up as a text description. where possible, i try to add short snippets of conversation as an example of what's happening in the montage.

if plot points happen when there's only a single character around and they don't have anyone to engage with, I try to break up the descriptive scenes with moments where the character's thoughts are highlighted in dialogue format. (i.e. an occasional "Maybe it would be easier to just walk straight into the monster's mouth myself, Shen Qingqiu thought" in place of a "The work was miserable enough that Shen Qingqiu briefly considered if it was worth it to just accept his death")

Alternatively, I've also used a character's memories or mental image of someone close to them as a partner for a 'pretend' conversation, though the mileage I get out of this is pretty dependent on the character's mental state and etc. (i.e. "Binghe is the pride of Qing Jing, Shen Qingqiu had once said. Now, Luo Binghe lays in the dirt in the Abyss, and he wonders if such a thing could ever be true again. Shizun, could Qing Jing ever claim me, when my disciple robes have been marred with ichor and blood? Could you ever be proud of me, when I fight with ugly brute force instead of the delicate sword forms you taught me?")

for planning/executing on fic ideas: usually, when i have a fic idea, i'm starting with some vague idea of where i want to start the fic and where i want to end it, and then i have to sit down and brainstorm all the middle bits before i can get started writing. for me personally, the ending i want to achieve is usually an emotional or relationship development, so i tend to plan out the middle bits by thinking "what would it take for this character to develop towards that specific emotional state?"

this often means i plan out "middle" scenes to be things that are designed to disprove a belief that the character currently holds, or to show them something that they don't currently believe. then i pad those out with scenes that give the character time to settle into their new mental/emotional state before putting them into another scene that changes their mentality once more.

i hope those tips help out a bit!! 🙇 and ofc remember that everyone will enjoy writing in a slightly different way, so if some of this advice doesn't vibe with you, don't try and force yourself into following it -- even if you were trying to mimic the way i write exactly, even i don't follow my own advice all the time XD

also, i think i've gotten enough of these writing tip asks that it probably warrants its own tag, so i went back tagged all the ones i could find with #nyoomerr gives advice. i'll continue to use this tag in the future to help y'all find stuff !

[mishkakagehishka]

hello !!! sorry this is v random but i just got into enstars recently and i was wondering about that funky little mika guy . just in general . seknots-izumimir said ur absolutely insane about him (compliment) and to go ask u about it so 🧍‍♂️

LMFAOOO my MikaP slay when I get rec'd as the person to ask ab Mika.

In general? I'll keep this relatively bare, in that case, so you don't feel overwhelmed :3

Mika is just a lil guy. A lil dude. His full name is Mika Kagehira, the "Mika" is written in hiragana (he disliked it bc it was "feminine", a different character compared him to Michelangelo for it, etc etc), and his last name is written as 影片 - "shadow fragment". He grew up in an orphanage where he is heavily implied to have been parentified (he speaks often about being in charge of "taking care of the lil ones" when explaining why he's good at doing household chores or taking care of others). There are a few stories where he mentions his parents, and his bio even states "parents" in his bio, but he has a lot more moments where he implies he was never actually adopted, so it's kind of up in the air, but I lean towards "never adopted" bc it comes up more often and in situations he is less likely to lie in. (Like, he mentions parents when he talks to the MC, but the entire tone of that conversation was him being lowkey annoyed with her prying, whereas when talking to his unitmate whom he idolises, he mentions stuff like "at one point I stopped wanting to be adopted" and "you know I can't meet my parents even if I wanted to").

Anyway. He speaks the Kansai dialect, and I talked a lot about how beautifully they subvert the "country accent = idiot" trope with him, but in short, he does call himself stupid, but he is actually kind of a genius. He met his unitmate, Shu, when they were kids, and idolised him since then. He enrolled into Yumenosaki just because he wanted to see Shu again. Yumenosaki has famously difficult entrance exams - that he was able to pass. He also found a copy of the Mabinogion, as it was an English manuscript, it was very likely written in Middle English, and he went and read it using only a dictionary. I could barely even read parts of Canterbury Tales, and I'm, like, fluent. Anyway. He joined Valkyrie when he was a 1st year💅 Although back then, Nazuna was also a member, but along came the War and uh. I suggest reading Reminiscence * Marionette bc it's really good :)

After Shu's execution (which is to say, when Valkyrie's reputation was killed on-stage, Nazuna left the unit and Shu had a mental breakdown), Valkyrie became inactive. While Shu was recovering, Mika was the one taking up odd jobs to keep Valkyrie afloat, as well as taking care of Shu. He's a hardworking lad :] He had a tsundere phase that I feel we don't talk often enough about, but when he was a 2nd year is when the story begins and the player character arrives - due to her association with Trickstar and fine (?), Shu didn't trust her and often said things like, "We don't need a producer" to get her to fuck off. Mika took up the same attitude of calling her an enemy of Valkyrie, but he also very obviously wanted to befriend her, so you're left with some hilarious scenes. Such as in Toy Box, when he was doing a part-time job washing the dishes, and the Producer tries to talk to him because he was there sobbing about his money problems. I have these lines burnt in my memory because of how funny they were to me, but he starts off by saying, "oh, you want me to tell you my problems so you can find my weakness, huh, you fiend?!", then he gets startled and almost drops a plate - says he could have "started hating you for real", and quickly adds, "not that i'd have a problem with hating you". He warms up to you later, though, and by the current timeline, will often offer you candy :) Because he's normal and alwaysss carries candy on him. He likes fruity flavours :]

Anyway. His character development is really neat. During the start of the story, he was pretty much a doll to be manipulated, he let Shu control him and all he did, and he didn't mind it as Nazuna did, in fact he was very happy to play into this role. But as of the current stories, they're both developing past that, with Shu becoming more open to accepting his opinions and individuality, and Mika learning to be more independent and assertive. In Hermitage, he changes the entire concept of a new song very last-minute, which is something he would never have dared to do in the early stories, for example.

I think that's like. The biggest things about him? So for more minor lil fun facts - he has a lower sense of pain and will often not realise if he's pricked himself while sewing (he's also pretty good at sewing! The wikia has a section for clothes he's made), he makes art that leans into eroguro and grotesque (he's also a big fan of horror! He and Ritsu watch horror movies together, and he has a collection of scary posters and images he puts up in his room, apparently to sleep better, whatever he meant by that). He's blind as a bat in the dark <3 He has a twin sister that was featured in Ensemble Girls! They've met in an enstars story, Milky Way, but they didn't know they were siblings, however in EnGirls, she mentions having met her brother. EnGirls takes place during the current year of enstars, so i'm hoping for a crossover story. And you'll immediately notice he's the token heterochromia character - he actually used to hate his eyes and would blame them for why he was abandoned as a child. He had some form of social anxiety for a while where he was too scared to look people in the eye or talk to people at all for fear of his eyes "creeping them out". But he's still very anxious about going on radio and talk shows🫶 Another way of subverting the trope for his dialect, and directly mentioning it, is that people expect him to be extroverted and funny because of the way he speaks (Kansai is the dialect spoken by manzai comedians), and he feels that he disappoints people by being an introvert because of that. (And this is why i headcanon him calling himself stupid as an act - he can't make himself funny or extroverted, but he can make himself seem stupid, which plays into the stereotype, to "avoid disappointing people") Magazines describe him as cool, mysterious and "frail-looking".

I think I failed at making this succinct. If anything opened more questions, feel free to ask me to elaborate tho :) i love talking ab Mika!!!!

[mightyflamethrower]

Some decisions are so negligent and with consequences so predictably disastrous that only a Big Stupid Government could ever make them. Over the weekend, a massive fire under I-10 at E. 14th Ave. in Los Angeles was severe enough to cause structural damage bad enough to close that section of the freeway "indefinitely."

The miracle — thanks to Big Stupid Government — is that it didn't happen sooner.

With more than 300,000 vehicles being rerouted each and every day until further notice, frustrated Los Angelenos demanded answers — and, on Tuesday, they got one.

"Bad actors" caused the fire, according to State Fire Marshal Daniel Berlant.

Some unknown arsonist is believed to have started Saturday's blaze, but that's not the "bad actor" to whom Berlant was referring. You see, the city government leases underpass space to people and companies for storage. In this case, "bad actors" filled the underpass with wooden pallets and containers of alcohol-based hand sanitizer.

In my report on Monday (and at the top of this story), you can see the pallets stacked so high under the freeway that they're almost touching the underside of the elevated road. The photos were courtesy of Google Street View, so it isn't like the towers of literal kindling were some dark secret.

The city is currently in a legal battle with a company called Airspace that leased the underpass storage area.

Let us pause here to consider the ill-considered wonder of stuffing underpasses full of kindling and flammable goo. Let us pause again to consider the bone-crushing stupidity of allowing unpoliced homeless encampments filled with vagrants, addicts, and the mentally ill to cohabitate with pallets and accelerants. 

"Giving money and power to government," P.J. O'Rourke quipped, "is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys." But sometimes the situation is reversed. In this case, government gave dry wood and alcohol to vagrants.

Was the I-10 fire started by a malicious arsonist or just a bored fentanyl addict? We may never know with 100% certainty, but we do know these fires are common wherever the homeless are living free range. PJ Media's own Victoria Taft reported back in March, "Fire, fire everywhere" rages all up and down the West Coast, where the homeless are treated like an endangered species.

That story was just one entry in Victoria's ongoing "West Coast, Messed Coast" series, of which, if you aren't a regular reader, you should be.

Meanwhile — you're going to love this one — KTLA reported Tuesday morning: "Just days after a massive blaze destroyed part of the 10 Freeway in downtown Los Angeles, another fire broke out under a different freeway." This time, the fire appears to have started at an underpass homeless encampment near eastbound 105 and southbound 110 and then spread to nearby vegetation. 

Fortunately, this fire didn't have nearly as much fuel to burn and only resulted in some traffic slowdowns.

But two of these fires in four days are a sure sign that LA's Big Stupid Government doesn't know how to protect the city's critical transportation infrastructure. Or maybe they just don't care. Maybe the neglect is on purpose — a stealthy way to promote the city's "road diet" to force drivers out of their cars and onto public transportation.

Whether by accident or design, however, it takes a Big Stupid Government to allow anyone to store kindling and accelerant under freeway overpasses occupied by those who are negligent, drug-addicted, mentally unstable, criminal, or all four. 

[theinstagrahame]

I keep seeing ads for BetterHelp and similar podcast-sponsoring mental health services which have horror stories. Some of these ads talk about how hard it is to find a therapist, which made me wonder: Are y'all as confused about how to find one as I was?

I went searching for a new therapist a couple of years ago, and had no idea where to start, honestly. My doctor recommended the Psychology Today website, but beyond that: what do? Call all of them and hope we click? Dust off the phone book and point to a random page in the P section? Go down the list alphabetically until I find one that I like?

My partner lucked out and immediately clicked with the first person their PCP suggested. A lot of my friends described just going and seeing if it worked out--and that had been my process previously.

I didn't really want to try that again, so I went with a new process. Which I think worked out well? I'm happy with my therapist, and have been seeing them for... somewhere between a year and 2 years. But, as I don't think I'm that unique, figured I'd write down what I did in case it helped someone else:

(This is presented with a lot of caveats. I have insurance, so that was part of my process. I was looking mostly for like, talk therapy. Someone with a need for more specialized care may need to make some adaptations.)

Step 1: go to the Psychology Today website (recommended by my Doctor). At least in mid 2023, they have a "Find a Therapist" tool front and center of the page.

Step 2: Enter your geographical area. Then use the search filters to pare the list down to people who specialize in the stuff you want to talk about. You can also specify telehealth, and weed out anyone who's not taking new clients.

Step 3: Look at the profiles. Honestly, this part is mostly vibes. I noticed a lot of the photos of older therapists reminded me too much of my parents or friends of my parents. There were a lot of things I wouldn't feel comfortable talking to them about, so I looked for someone I could imagine as a friend. Several of them also had short self-marketing paragraphs on their profiles, which I also took into consideration.

I'm calling this part out as important. I wanted to scout out someone who I'd feel comfortable talking to. One or two I crossed off my list because their writing felt "too hippy" for my comfort level. Here, you should ask yourself what you want in a therapist. If you're looking for someone with that air of parentitude, absolutely go for it. Finding a good fit therapist is 100% about comfort, so check in with yourself here. (Optional: You can also look at reviews on some insurance websites and/or Google for additional insight into the therapist's work)

Step 4: Compile a list of therapists you're interested in contacting. I went with 2-3, but honestly, given the state of the United States Healthcare System, 5+ is maybe a safe bet. Because the next step is...

Step 5: Open your Health Insurance website, and use their "Find a Therapist" tool. Use a similar geographical radius as earlier.

Step 6: Cross-reference your list with your health insurance website. Nix any that aren't covered (unless you *really* want to meet with them and see if you can work something out).

Step 7: Contact your top 2-3 picks. When I did this, I got emails back from 2 of them, both of whom were currently full, but expected to have availability in a couple of months. I waited, and went with the first one who got back. I like my therapist a lot!

Step 8: Go for a few sessions. If they don't bring it up (mine did), ask about what to do if you don't feel like it's a good fit. They're professionals, and shouldn't take it personally. Talk early and often about whether you both feel like it's a good match.

Note: This is about as important as Step 3, because your Vibes can lead you astray, but 1000%, you need to feel comfortable with your therapist. If you don't, you're just wasting their time and your money. Plus, you have a List, so if it doesn't work out, you can just hit the next name.

Truth be told, this was a process that spanned a couple of weeks (plus the waiting for availability). Partially because getting help is scary, so I had to work myself up to some parts of it. Partially because some steps did require me to ask myself uncomfortable questions about what I was looking for, and I had to work myself up to those answers. I'm also pretty sure I have undiagnosed ADHD, so like, easy to lose focus on this. But, making incremental progress was super helpful, and I did eventually get to the end.

Bear in mind: your mileage may vary. Your insurance options may vary. I am not a doctor, lawyer, or expert in anything here. I'm just some guy, you know?

Take what parts of this feel right, ignore the ones that don't--or that don't apply.

[eliasorchard]

Hey Elias

Is me the anon who wrote you some days ago about having an awful father. Thank you so much for answering my ask. I really needed to let it out and felt the need to be heard.

I want to ask if is okay for me to keep you updated on my state on anons.

I don’t really feel too comfortable to reveal myself. At least yet.

Anyway, I am currently looking for a job to be able to escape this hell. And I also started making voice recordings when my father starts something. I want to have evidence just in case. I just don’t want him to continue all this bullshit and get away with it. I really wish he wasn’t my father. I really hate him with all heart. As for my father, this week he managed to piss off both me and mom. He didn’t exactly say anything yet but on Monday he got his brother and colleague into the house and they were drinking and chatting till midnight. I was hella stressed out and sacred and mom was hella mad. It really feels like he only cares about himself and his colleagues. He doesn’t even talk to me or my sibling about how was our days or about how we feel. It seems like he thinks that he will only strike small conversation and if he gives us money this will be enough. But as a parent is his goddamn business to give emotional support to his children and do everything he can to help! I hate his guts so much. Seriously, when all is fine with me or my sibling then he’s all happy because there’s no problem. But when there is a problem with one of us, he doesn’t do what he should do. Because he himself doesn’t know how to handle problems. And for that reason I feel like I have to hide that something isn’t right when he’s around and like I can talk about the issues with mom when he cannot hear it. This is having a terrible effect on my mental state and I really wish it wasn’t the case. All of it is simply tiring. I just want to relax and be at peace instead of dealing with my father’s bullshit, all that stress and fear and my anxiety that is being a pain in the ass.

Thanks again for hearing me out. I really do appreciate it. I was genuinely crying after reading everything you said. I felt really touched ❤️‍🩹

Have a good day/night ✨

hi anon :) of course, you can keep on sending me asks related to anything at any given time, don't worry about it. also, please don't feel pressured to reveal yourself or anything. i just want you to feel comfortable and safe

you're carrying a tremendous amount, and yet you're pushing through it all, managing day by day while trying to make a way out. that takes some real courage, anon

hiding pieces of yourself in your own home must feel so incredibly isolating. wanting peace is a basic need. it's not too much to ask okay? please know that this situation doesn’t define you or your worth; it’s not your fault, and it’s okay to feel everything that you are feeling

as always, i'm always here for you and i love you. feel free to talk to me about anything you want to. sometimes just saying it out loud can lighten that burden, even if a bit yk. your strength in pushing forward, even with everything you’re dealing with says a lot about how amazing you are, and i really hope that you can find some of that peace you deserve <3

have a wonderful day or night too, anon :) be safe

[cannibalcoyote]

The Elder Maximoff Ch.3: The Meeting

Ch.2 Ch.4

Clint's POV:

"Well, electricity sure does the trick." Clint stated as he saw the girl in the tree fall backwards.

"Wait, did you catch one of those super people?" Tony questioned.

"Well I shot her with an arrow that applies a strong electrical current which then immobilizes the victim." Replied Clint as he started jogging towards the area he saw the girl fall, only to have a blue and silver blur flash past him while ramming into his side; which then caused him to slam into a tree.

"Ow!" Exclaimed Clint in pain as he recovered from his attack.

"Clint you alright?" Questioned Natasha.

"Yah Nat, but I think our enhanced was taken by the others, they must've seen me shoot at her. I have a feeling they aren't too happy that I shot their friend." Clint explained as he limped off towards the ship.

"Well at least we know how to stop them." Natasha voiced as she helped Bruce into the quin-jet.

_______

Corvina's POV:

I woke up outside a small decaying church. I was laying on the floor wrapped in some ragged yet warm blankets, I could see my brother and sister standing a couple feet away talking about something. I slowly pushed myself up, my head had a pounding feeling in it, and my back was hurting. 'Probably because of that idiot who shot me', I thought as I stood up only to nearly fall from my lack of feeling in my legs, but I quickly used my powers to help steady myself.

"Where are we?" I questioned as I looked at the crumbling church.

"We have been called to meet someone with the same goal as us for the avengers." Wanda stated as she slowly started to walk into the church, Pietro and I quickly ran to where the entrance of the church was.

As I entered the church I immediately noticed the metal figure sitting in an eroded stone chair with a sheet or blanket draped over his shoulders while he sat facing away from us.

"Who are you and if you're wasting our time...", Wanda began, but was interrupted.

"Do you know why this church was built here, because it is in the center of the town. The elders decreed that everyone could be equally close to god." He said as he waved an arm made of metal in front of him.

"I like that, the idea of belief." He said.

"State what you called us here for before we leave." I voiced sternly as I stepped out from the shadows.

He looked at me strangely after I stepped out of the shadows, almost as if he didn't know I was there.

"Who are you?"he questioned flatly, my eyes narrowed as he said this.

"A mystery, but you can call me black magic." I answer in a dark tone.

"Who is she?" He questions again this time asking Wanda who looked at him in confusion.

"How do you not know who she is, she was experimented on just like us. She is our older sister." Wanda stated. Ultron looked back at me still confused.

"What powers do you have?" Ultron finally questioned me.

"I have Umbra-kinesis(the ability to control shadows), evocation, telekinetic blast, darkness manipulation, dark energy manipulation, Mental manipulation, telepathy, osteokinesis, I can turn into my spirit animal which happens to be a black panther, and primordial darkness manipulation but I'm still learning to control that one." I responded. Ultron steps back with a slight look of surprise on his face.

"No wonder I couldn't find any files on you. I should've expected that someone that powerful would want to be kept off the records in case of well, you know." Ultron stated as he walked up to us.

He walked up to Pietro and said,

"You and I can hurt them," he then turned to Wanda and I and then slightly touched our faces while saying, "but you two will tear them apart from the inside."

Ch.2 Ch.4

[decadentparadisekitty]

my entire point in writing this post is that i have, countless times, been told by terfs that i must be trans because i was "forced to be femalel and as such i'm experiencing a normal desire to break free from that. the first part of my original point is me stating that no, actually, that isnt what happened. the second part of my original post is that quite often the terf response to that is "oh, well then you must think you're trans because you were forced to be male instead of your aligning with your birth sex" and again, that isnt what happened.

this is going to be a hard ask of any person but ditch the tribe mentality and comprehend what the person you're talking to is saying without making assumptions based on the label of the group she's a part of. that's how you find out what people really believe.

you see me as a woman, whatever, i'm not gonna be able to change that. in which case: you want to help women? consider listening to them instead of forcing your own beliefs on them. listen to and respect the ways they feel about themselves. use the words they prefer. if you really wanted trans men and afab nonbinary people ("women", to you) to feel comfortable, you wouldnt be just willynilly shitting all over their sense of self. but that would mean admitting that your concern is actually about these people, and not some deep seated self-consciousness.

yeah uh it'd be great if we all could do that for each other but in this situation it is impossible

you believe woman and man and gender itself are defined by...im not sure what beyond whatever people say they are. she (and i) believe woman and man to be defined based on sex. This is because, well, it has been decided based on that for millennia, across the globe.

let's say she and i still had enough good will after the trans movement took off to respect people pronouns, in other words, willfully deny what we believe to be true. we're still going to end up at a cross. your beliefs and our beliefs are incompatible. we can talk honestly about our beliefs, but only if you accept we think differently and there's not much you can do about that but offer your own perspective, and see if it changes our minds. And be willing to change yours.

just as the devout and those who are not so get on by not speaking much of religion, we would have to not speak of the issue (that we are currently discussing) in order for your sense of self to not be "shit on", as you put it. Because us seeing you as wtvr u said you were matters to you. Or at least, not questioning it, and then acting like we see you the way you say you are.

I just want you to know - we still see you as like. a person with their own interests that aren't based in gender. our belief is literally gender is not your personality. hope that helps.

I don't perceive feeding your beliefs about your gender as helping you in any meaningful capacity. Like, obviously you'll like me more, but either way...it won't really affect your life. Like if I don't change your mind, you'll just be like "ugh another stupid terf who is SO transphobic" and you'll like. live. If I do, well, it means my insight was valuable to you. If I just feed your beliefs there's no chance of that happening.

i mean i get there's the emotional turmoil (especially for those who put themselves in a bubble, dont rlly know if it applies to you but it applied to me) of someone disagreeing with you. especially over something you probably hold close to your heart. But I'm not ruining your life, and I'm not putting you in any actual danger, nor am I insulting you in any real way, by speaking what I believe to be true.

....ykw why did i write all that this was just a guilt trip anyway, wasn't it?

what else can i give you? i frequently wonder what wouldve happened if i had been born in a different body to this - everything else the same, just a different body. and you know what the answer is every time? i would still be nonbinary. because my gender is not determined by the state of my body, it's a state of being. once i've transitioned the way i want to i wont magically stop being trans. i'd still be trans. i will still have the experience of being a trans person who did not grow up with any particularly gender socialisation. i would still be trans. i mean sure, maybe if i was born another sex, maybe i wouldnt consider myself actually trans. maybe i'd just be nonbinary. maybe i wouldnt get surgery or hormones in that case. (good lord i cannot wait for this to be contextualised as "oh so being nonbinary is an aesthetic thing or an interest or a choice" because that isnt in the slightest what im saying)

????? im not sure what you mean by "any particular gender socialization" you grew up seeing women put a great effort to make themselves pretty for men, while men did jack, you saw feminized women on tv and on billboards, you saw men play the heroes in the movies, you saw them with a fuckton of muscles half the time on screen, you saw how little anyone ever pushed them to be beautiful. going beyond appearances and surface level shit, you grew up with the gendered expectations regarding housework and jobs, who gets their career prioritized more often? you grew up in an environment where women are seen as sexual objects by a scary amount of men. A lot of them around like andrew tate, a man who trafficked 6 women. Porn, i sincerely hope you've never had the misfortune of seeing it, is so full of rape on tape and child exploitation there's 8 cases on 194 victims of pornhub right now like what the fuck. is that. but gendered socialization??? You grew up internalizing the sex based stereotypes present around you??? You grew up in a misogynistic world.

just because your parents let you do what you wanted doesn't me you didn't internalize the ideas omnipresent in literally everything around you regarding gender oml.

if you want an actual nuanced discussion on gender, tell me what you want me to clarify. tell me what it is that youre so caught up on. tell me what you want to learn. instead of just demanding i open up. i'm not going to just freely give you all of my psyche and intimate details over the internet like someone begging to be hunted, in hope that maybe just maybe you might understand. i'm not going to detail what i'm "transitioning into" (not how that works btw) or otherwise freely talk about my goals for what my body should or will look like publicly on the internet because i dont want to be - get this - sexualised and ogled by freaks! youre not entitled to that information because it literally does not in any capacity involve you in the slightest. why the fuck are you so interested in what my genitals will end up being?

ok here's the question I want an answer to:

What do you base your gender on if not your sex? That was never made clear to me.

As far as I can tell you just were like. "yeah I just never believed I was a girl." I cannot tell what definition you were using.

i really dont understand terfs obsession with "trans men/afab nonbinary people are just rejecting the toxic femininity they were forced to grow up in" logic

like. i wasnt. i wasnt forced to wear dresses or skirts. i wasnt forced to tie my hair back in a pretty bow. i wasnt forcibly associated with the colour pink. i wasnt forced to wear makeup or paint my nails. i wasnt forced to play with dolls or toy kitchens. i wasnt forced to grow my hair out.

when i did do those things, it was because i wanted to. not because i had to. not because i felt like society needed me to.

"oh, you were brought up as a male then! thats why you're trans!"

no. my parents never educated me on anything trans or gay. my father's transphobic and homophobic. the ps2 he bought us in 2003 was for him to play games on. not me. my parents handed me an argos catalogue every december and asked me to circle the presents i wanted. they bought whatever they could afford. there was no feminine/masculine pattern to my childhood. i was never abused for not being feminine enough. i never felt subjected to toxic femininity. whenever i was bullied at school for "not being pretty" i was never upset that i "wasnt pretty", i was upset that they couldnt see that i was happy. i never fit in with the girls (who, for the record, seemed to be feminine because it made them happy too, not because they were forced into it) because i just didn't have the same interests as them, and i never fit in with the boys because i didnt have the same consoles as them (for a long time i only had a ps2, they all had xboxes).

i wasnt socially feminised. i wasnt socially masculinised. i dont get why terfs assume the worst in either direction. i'm literally just doing and being what i want to do and be. what i do to my body for fun or comfort literally has no impact on whether the patriarchy still exists and whether it's shitty.

[hawkinshighdropout]

Today Your Love, Tomorrow the World.

Pairing: Eddie Munson x (female) Reader

Summary: Your mental health has been getting bad again, worse than usual at least, and Eddie comes home at the end of the day to try and take some of the weight off of your shoulders.

Warnings: Mental health is mentioned in this briefly, not in any graphic detail and not really any specifics, but I wanted to warn y'all in case even the mere mention of depression and anxiety was triggering. There's a few sad tears but then it's full of supportive and comforting boyfriend Eddie, I didn't want to intentionally make anything to glorify or commodify mental health, this is meant to be sweet.

Note/Request: Requested by anonymous. “Hi! i love how you write for Eddie and I have never requested anything from anyone before so... here goes nothing I guess 😅 i've really been struggling with my mental health lately. everything has been setting off severe panic attacks, I've barely been sleeping or eating... it's been a rough couple months. i was wondering if you could write something about Eddie and the reader going through something similar? if you're comfortable, of course. if not, I understand!”

Word Count: 2.5k

Send me prompts to write about!

It’s been getting bad again… It comes and goes in waves, your mental health. Your social battery had been gradually decreasing for the last couple of weeks. Finding yourself to be far more irritable, sensitive, anxious. Smaller tasks begun to overwhelm you again and you found yourself residing most of your time in your room. Bed mocking you each and every night as you were laying restless and grew more sleep deprived. Things were supposed to be looking up, this was supposed to be your year. Not that you had any control over that realistically, you knew it would always ebb and flow, recovery wasn’t linear. You’d had so many good days that you almost forgot you could even have bad ones… Boy did you consider this a reality check.

You recognised the symptoms, the signs snowballing one after another as you slipped away. Dissociating more often, eating less, sleeping a /lot/ less despite the fact you practically lived in your bed when you could, even your general hygiene had gone down. Truth be told, you couldn’t remember the last time you’d showered or brushed your hair, it wasn’t something you had the energy to do as of late, it was a chore.

It was currently about nine pm for you, you were bundled up with blankets on the couch of Eddie’s living room. Eddie was your boyfriend, one you didn’t consider yourself deserving of. He was the light of your life, and you just felt like a burden. He never thought of you that way, not even for a second. He never even made you feel like that, those are just the harrowing and intrusive thoughts you felt on nights like these. The pair of you were happily in love, but nights like these tested your thoughts and put doubt in your head, constantly thinking he could do better.

He was none the wiser, he looked at you like you’d personally hung the stars in the sky, like you hand crafted the moon just for him. He thought you were God’s greatest gift, even though he wasn’t religious, he just truly thought so highly of you and loved you with all his heart, the way you truly deserved to be loved.

The front door closing in the distance is what took you out of your trance like state, blinking slowly before looking up at the bundle of joy walking through the door. You felt like you could breathe again for the first time since he left this morning. Having been out with his group of friends doing another campaign all day, this was the first time you’d seen him, the first time you felt at home. He had offered to stay home when he could see the look in your eyes, he made it abundantly clear that he would happily postpone to comfort you and be here with you, he didn’t postpone for anybody, that’s how you knew it was bad.

You’d insisted he go, you wanted him to have fun. He put so much love and effort into every aspect of his life, including his clubs, you wanted him to get the best out of his time and experience things freely. You didn’t want to keep him locked up in the trailer and suffer just because you weren’t doing great. He reluctantly left this morning with the promise of undivided attention when he got home, not parting ways with you until he had smothered you in kisses and reminded you that you were loved and cared for.

The corners of your lips threatened to tweak up into a smile as you saw him wandering towards you, his lips instantly pressing against your forehead as he crouched down to be eye level with you. His hands taking your own so he could glide his thumbs affectionately across your knuckles. He was so tender, so gentle with you, so scared that you might snap and break, like you’d crumble if he touched too hard.

“Hi, sweetheart…” he said, voice soft, “how’s my favourite girl, hm?” eyes scanning your expression to gauge how you were doing, a nervous smile on his lips.

“I’m… okay, I guess?” you didn’t sound convincing, not even to yourself. The sight alone of him kneeling down and being attentive made your voice wobble a little, feeling your eyes burning as they threatened to spill over with tears.

“You don’t have to lie to me, my love. It’s okay to tell me you’re not okay.” he reassured you, instantly causing you to hiccup as the first couple of tears spilled down your cheeks.

In a flash, he was up on the couch with you, arms around your midsection as you slumped against his chest. He adjusted the blanket so you were both bundled up, hands stroking your back and lips pressed to your forehead whilst he let you cry. He was good at this routine by now, which is a little sad to think about. He knew when to give you time to cry, and when to comfort you, and when to intervene and problem solve for you. You appreciated that.

After what felt like forever but was probably about ten to fifteen minutes, you’d resorted to just being a little sniffly and slumping against his chest. Seemingly all cried out. Or just too exhausted to continue, who knows? Once you were at a more relaxed state, Eddie pressed one further kiss to the top of your head and whispered fondly to you.

“Sweetheart… Look at me?”

Tilting your head up, his thumbs springing into action to delicately wipe the tears from your cheeks. Pressing the most loving kiss to the tip of your nose before brushing your bangs out of your eyes.

“Do you think you could stomach some food? Hm? Nothing crazy, just so something is in your system?” he would never pressure you or guilt you, he just wanted to provide options and comfort you in baby steps. Going at your pace so he didn’t make anything worse for you. You nod a little, you hadn’t eaten anything proper all day and the sheer mention of food made your stomach growl in response.

“Atta girl. How about you stay here and I’ll go make you some ramen, yeah? Sound good?”

Another silent nod came from you, gently shifting you so you’re comfortable and bundled in the blankets once more. Kissing your forehead as he wandered the few small steps away to the kitchen, he started to prepare one of your comfort meal, packed ramen. It only took a couple minutes of getting some hot water, cooking the noodles and adding in the flavours, but you watched fondly as he would dance about the kitchen softly singing to himself as he worked.

Placing the bowl of ramen on the mini dining table he’s got in the trailer, giving you the options of both a fork or chopsticks, accompanying the meal with a bottle of water fresh from the fridge. For himself? He just grabbed a Dr. Pepper and a handful of pretzels, mumbling that he had pizza with the guys earlier so he didn’t need anything real to eat. Sitting opposite you at the table, a fond look on his face as you slowly started to eat your noodles and sip at your water. You opted for the fork today, not having the energy to stumble your way through chopsticks.

“How is it, honey?” His voice still laced with love and affection for you, looking up from your noodles to smile across at him.

“It’s good… thank you.” the first words you’d really said since he got back, he was letting you be in your own head, giving you the space to just exist and be taken care of.

“Once you’re done, I was gonna hop in the shower. Did you want to join me?” He offered.

Nodding once again, you felt like you could shower if he was there to assist you. Something about him being about was just comforting to you, you didn’t catch the proud smile on his face that he gave you as you slowly chowed down. The moment you were done, he was happily scooping up the bowl and placing it in the sink to attend to tomorrow, taking your now-empty water bottle and placing it in the recycling.

“Let’s go, princess.” he said sweetly, kissing your temple before guiding you into the small bathroom. Flicking the shower on, making sure the temperature was warm, Eddie then started the process of undressing the pair of you. Stripping you both down to your underwear, making sure all laundry went into the basket, helping you take your hair out of its bun and making sure all jewellery was on the sink. Once all clothes had been slumped off of your bodies, you looked up at him for direction.

He hopped in first, acting like a Guinea pig, wanting to make sure it was warm enough for you both. Once it was to his satisfaction, he took your hand and helped you into the shower, closing the curtain behind you both so you didn’t flood the house. The first couple minutes of the shower were in silence, Eddie would take the wash cloth and put shower gel all over it, gently scrubbing you one limb at a time. You giggled as he ran the cloth across your stomach and sides as you were ticklish, resulting in a fond grin from the older man at the sound.

Your body was fully clean, and he wasted no time in grabbing your facial cleanser, applying some to his hands before giving your face a sweet little massage to clean you. Using the much smaller wash cloth to clean your face of any chemical residue. Repeating the same process with himself, cleaning both his face and body until the pair of you were squeaky clean besides your hair. Lathering his hands in shampoo, he gets you to spin on the spot, close your eyes and tilt your head back.

Taking his time with massaging the suds into your hair to scrub away any dirt or grime that had built up since the last time you washed it. Taking the shower head and cupping your forehead to make sure nothing got in your eyes, Eddie would rinse the shampoo out of your hair and let it wash down your back. He would repeat the same process with the conditioner, but of course he focused that on the ends of your hair instead. Making sure that all was rinsed out before you were allowed to turn back to him.

“All better, love.” He smiled, to which you smiled back. The first whole hearted smile he had seen from you in days.

He reached the shampoo bottle with the intention of repeating the process on himself, but you caught his wrist gently and stopped him from continuing.

“Allow me?” You mumble sheepishly, taking the bottle from his hands and pouring out enough to lather up. Eddie wasted no time in sinking down to his knees to give you plenty of room and access to his hair, his arms around your thighs whilst he pressed loving little kisses to your soft stomach.

Massaging the shampoo into his scalp, lathering up the curly locks with a soft giggle before you would cover his eyes for protection and rinse them from his hair. Repeating the same process with the conditioner as he has done to you, washing away any chemicals from his soft frame. Placing one last kiss against your stomach, he slowly stands and cups your cheeks in his hand.

“Thank you, princess.” He whispers, leaning down to press a few delicate kisses to your lips which you happily reciprocate.

“Not a problem, handsome.” You smile.

You both spend a little longer in the shower, mostly just letting your bodies relax under the warmth of the water, sharing a kiss or two every now and again as he would tell you all about his day. You listened with genuine intrigue, giggling or snorting whenever an embarrassing moment or funny joke was recited from his hangouts. Eddie turned off the shower and made sure to wrap his waist in a towel before enveloping your whole body in one as well. Standing behind you in the mirror and using his comb to gently brush out your hair so it would dry less frizzy later on.

Kissing your shoulder, he then stands next to you whilst you both begin the process of brushing your teeth together. Spitting, using mouthwash and wiping your faces clean before sharing another kiss. Taking your hand, Eddie leads you into the bedroom with a soft hum coming from his lips.

“Ozzy or Hellfire?” He asks, going through his pile of clean shirts, looking for something to let you sleep in.

“Ozzy, please.” You whisper, trading off his watch in your hand for the shirt in his, making sure he had his accessories before you wander back to the bathroom to change. You double checked that you were fully dry before putting the towel in the laundry basket and slipping on the Black Sabbath shirt he had given you, smiling to yourself that even when it’s clean? It still smelled of him.

Coming back into the room a few minutes later, eyes a little wide as the sheets had changed and Eddie was slumped back on his bed in just his boxers, playing with a dice in his hand to keep him occupied.

“There you are, hi.” He said like a giddy little child at the sight of you, shutting the door behind you as you climb into bed with him. It took mere seconds for you to curl up in his arms, him placing the dice down on the bedside table in favour of holding you and playing with your hair.

“Thank you, for today.” You whisper.

Shaking his head, kissing your forehead and bringing you closer with a squeeze. Feeling his fingers brush up and down your forearm whilst he shushed you. Everything he did was out of love, not out of needing praise and approval.

“Don’t thank me, it’s what you do when you love someone who needs a gentle hand every now and again.” He mumbled into your temple, pecking the skin there several times as you smile up at him. “You’re gonna have your bad days, and I’m gonna help you through them. Im proud of you, you know? Even if you’re just waking up and achieving something as small as mustering up the energy to toast some pop tarts or crawl out of your safety blankets and use the bathroom. I know they’re all small things you struggle with on days like this. But… You’re badass. Every day that you wake up and you don’t feel like you can do things? You still do. You still keep on pushing, you do your thing and then you smash it outta the park every single time. It’s pretty fucking metal when you think about it.”

“I love you.” You say proudly.

“I love you right back, doll.” He grins.

[mintmoth]

Hi it’s me overblot Kalim anon back again

Firstly I’m so glad you like my idea and honestly you put what I was thinking about the meaning behind his overblot into words 100% accurately

Secondly I wanna share my final additions to add some extra angst:

1. Yknow how MC/Yuu has been getting more and more sarcastic with each new overblot? Yea that would not be the case with kalim. Resident sunshine boy of the school suddenly snapped? MC/Yuu wouldn’t even have anything to say they’d be shocked

2. Oasis Maker causing rain can tie into this perfectly, cause obviously emotions are high right? That’s how overblots work. So imagine just him overblotting and causing the once sunny skies of Scarabia to turn into dark clouds raining down on the dorm with no end in sight. This would also perfectly reflect his current mental state

3. Jamils reaction: obviously he’d probably worry about what would happen if his parents and Kalims parents found out that he overblotted. But I can’t help but wonder what he would think about besides that. Would he be worried for Kalim deep down? Annoyed? Regretful? It honestly depends how much of a relationship was created between the two before this hypothetical overblot happened and that in it of itself opens a whole can of angsty worms

Man twst really went “no one is mentally well here” and proved it in 100 different ways huh. Someone give these boys a hug and a certified therapist that isn’t MC/Yuu

Kicks in the door because boy we are all crying tonight but YEAH

Honestly the overblots all make a lot of sense as they come, with Jamil's being more surprising of the main cast, Riddle was actively being borderline tyrannical and aggressive, Leona is also openly aggressive and was ultimately behind a lot of people getting injured, Azul was openly behind all the giant bullshit of conning like half the student body, we haven't gotten to Vil yet but he's openly in the spotlight and hostile towards others- like MILD SPOILERS but in book 6 Idia comments that the ones who have overblotted are all Known Problem Students (save for Jamil, who's mastered the art of keeping his head down and blending into the background in order to be unnoticed, hence why his overblot would be a surprise to anyone who wasn't the MC actively witnessing him being shady as fuck)

So it's basically yes, been a track record of very plainly obvious problem students who clearly have issues, so for Kalim to be someone who overblots?? That would be so genuinely alarming for everyone involved to hear, to learn that someone who is basically sunshine personified was so wholely consumed by the negativity within himself that he's endangering himself? Honestly the most joke adjacent comments I could see would be something along the lines of "man we told him that him being so happy go lucky was annoying but we didn't mean it like this"

Also YES I HAD THAT THOUGHT like Kalim was able to easily create an entire river like, what better way to drive others away when you're at your breaking point than a terrible storm. Let everyone stay safe inside out of the rain while he waits within the worst parts of it as he essentially drowns within himself. How easy it would be to cry a personal ocean, after all

Though of course it would just make him more upset to see that people have come after him because no, he never wanted anyone to endanger themselves for his sake, he never wanted any of them to dare to brave the storm he wrought

Though as far as Jamil goes I think he would be terrified. He does really care about Kalim deep down, and we can see this with how worried he gets when Kalim is in danger. There is hostility and resentment that has seeped into and uprooted their friendship, but you can tell they once really were friends. They were children who played together and laughed together and who even now do have care laced within the rubble they stand upon. Jamil might make a rude comment to the rest of the cast or act annoyed, but he's not overblotted and acting out during a massive breakdown (the only time he's openly endangered Kalim). He doesn't want Kalim to die, hostilities or not, and I think he wouldn't be motivated based on fear of his family or Kalim's own finding out but rather just, that's his childhood friend, regardless of how they feel now, and he does not want him to die

This is more me doing some wild speculation here but HEY as long as you get what I'm saying lmao

[paracsms]

𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: billy russo x fem!reader

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fluff

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: mentions of sex, cursing

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1.1k

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: okok english is not my first language blah blah blah anyway hope u enjoyy also this purely self indulgent k byee

your eyes slowly adjust to the light shining through the small gap between the curtains. once they do, you begin to take in your surroundings. as familiar as they are. you move ever so slightly when an arm tightens around your waist and flashes of last night’s activities run through your mind. a smile graces your lips as you become aware of the ache between your legs and how it hurts so good. With the tight grip on your waist, it takes great effort to turn around in his arms to face the handsome you woke up next to.

you’re met with a sleeping billy. he looks so relaxed. normally he walks with authority, chin up, shoulders straight, posture perfect. seeing him in this vulnerable state, one where isn’t looking over his shoulder all the time, where he isn’t lieutenant russo with more than a 100 confirmed kills, where he isn’t the ceo of anvil. now, he’s billy. your billy

he looked at peace and you don't want to disturb that. but self control was never your strong suit. slowly and carefully you reach up and light trace his face. gently pushing the loose strand of hair that rests just over his eyes. when your hand comes down to his beard, he stirs. you freeze and wait till he's sleeping soundly again but instead you're met with a low hum. billy squints before fully opening his eyes and you're greeted with those obsidian orbs.

your hand is still inches away from his face when he grabs it, presses a kiss to your palm and rests it back on his face. out of habit, you start caressing his scruff. “morning.” he greets with a deep and raspy voice and you're wondering how it’s possible to swoon this early in the day. “morning.” you return with a smile. his hand comes to rest on your hip and pulls you closer to give you a kiss on the lips.

“how'd you sleep?” he asks, fingers moving under his shirt that he put on you last night. “like a baby. you looked pretty peaceful too.” you remarked, your hand now going from his face down to the arm that was currently resting on your skin. “peaceful?” he repeats as if he heard you wrong. you hum in confirmation. “yeah, relaxed.”

“peaceful. frankie would get a kick outta this.” he chuckles, hands still wandering on your skin. “should i be worried that youre thinking about your best friend while trying to cop a feel?” he playfully glares at you before diving in to connect his lips with yours. this kiss is passionate and rough compared to the peck he gave you just moments before.

somehow he manages to maneuver you onto his lap, your legs on either side of him as he sits up against the headboard. “trying to distract me from your affair with frankie, huh?” you break the kiss, slightly out of breath. his face is still inches away from yours when he gives a cunning smile.

“i dont know. is it working?”

“not even slightly.”

billy goes in for another kiss but is stopped by your hands against his bare chest, you also lean backwards a little, just in case. that man is quick. he groans playfully before giving a big grin. “there's about 3 guns stashed in this room alone. if i step out on you, which will never happen by the way, i want you to use one of ‘em on me.”

“deal.” you grin at him as you move your arms around his neck, pulling him in. you decided to ignore the fact that he had stashed weapons throughout the apartment, but made mental note to ask him how many and where exactly they are.

you feel billy smile into the kiss. “though i do believe that if anyone’s gonna steal you from me, frank would come the closest.” you tease after pulling away from the kiss. billy shakes his head, “nah. all yours, sweetheart.”

“are you now?”

“absolutely. forever.”

“forever?” you ask, trying to hide the shock in your voice. he nods and shrugs, a smirk forming. “and then some…”

“you’re sappy in the morning. i love it.”

“i’m a lot things in the morning.” billy winks at you before gripping your hips and moves them slightly a bit upwards. you’re confused until you feel it right beneath you, where the thin layer of your panties and his boxers meet.

“oh.” you say, cheeks flushing. billy lets out a laugh before leaning and pressing a kiss to each side of your face. he reaches over to the nightstand and checks his phone. he puts it down before looking back at you. your mood starts to deflate, because if he’s about to say what you think hes about to say then he would be sorry. he was about to start but you cut him off.

“i-”

“if you say you have to leave for work right now, all 3 of those guns you mentioned earlier will be put to good use.”

billy chuckles before grabbing your face in his large hands. “i was just checking the time, sweetheart.” you let out a sigh of relief. you avert your eyes down, feeling a bit foolish. a finger comes under your chin and slowly tilts it up. “there she is.” he mutters teasingly. “and i was going to ask what you wanted for breakfast. it's still a bit early, but we could see where’s open.”

“how about we stay in, you make me french toast, we eat it in bed and sleep for another 10 hours?”

“i knew you were only with me for my french toast making skills. You sure you don't wanna go out?”

you nod, “i'm sure. and i'm also sure that i'll be walking funny for at least another day, so..” billy grins. “Just a day?” that got him an eye roll from you.

“okay. but i have a few changes for your plan,” he starts, and you nod for him to continue. “I make the french toast, we eat in bed, i fuck you so good you walk funny for at least a month, then we sleep for 10 hours.” he explains punctuating it with a wink. “sound good?” he doesn't wait for an answer before gently moving you off of him and getting out of bed. he starts to walk over to the dresser when you grab his arm.

billy turns back to you, eyebrows raised in question. you give him a coquettish look while a smirk tugs at his lips. your hands reach over to play with the waistband of his black boxers. “breakfast can wait.” you suggest. your smile is innocent but billy knows it's anything but.

he leans down his face almost an inch away from yours. both hands come to rest at your neck. you can feel his lips ghosting over your mouth. the look on his face is so smug, you almost want to push him away. but you know you won't, he knows you won't. his eyes flicker down to your lips.

“breakfast can wait.”

[bonny-kookoo]

Jimin: Bat-Luck (2)

In which police officer Park Jimin is tasked with looking after you until there's a home ready for you.

Tags/Warnings: black flying fox!Jimin, Black Cat! Reader, stigmatization, mentions of physical and mental therapy, this is my emotional support Jimin now, and trust me he will be yours too, mentions of past abuse (starvation, physical punishments, degradation, mild case of stockholm-syndrome, hoarding, neglect)

Additional Chapter Warnings: bad flashbacks, comfort, jimin is a sweetheart

<- Previous | Next ->

Jimin has noticed by now that he's kind of stuck with you now.

After a good checkup at the hospital they decided it's best for you to stay with someone you trust- Jimin in this case, who happily agreed to look after you for the time being. Theres a bandage covering your left forearm- keeping the scratches underneath clean and protected from any dirt. You're also wearing a new, proper collar- for now with the police logo on it to signal that you're currently under government protection. It's a lot better than the grimy old thing they've found at your former 'home'.

"say, sweetheart?" Jimin gains your attention as you sit in the small room provided for questioning of witnesses- a way more friendly and less threatening environment than the interrogation rooms. "back at your home- was it always you hybrids and your owner?" he asks, and you shake your head, while he brushes out the knots of your tail- the action strange to you, as you've never had someone do that for you.

"I lived with an old man before." you admit quietly. "he was nice- but he got too old to take care of me." you tell him. "that's how I met lady J." you explain, and he nods. Based on the testimonies of the other hybrids, they all called her simply 'Lady J' and nothing else. "when I came with her, the others were already there. We fought a lot." you admit, and Jimin nods.

"when did.. The house become so cluttered?" he wonders, and you shrug as you watch him work so gently and carefully, trying not to pull on the hairs too much, even at the knotted parts.

"I dunno." you mumble. "it was always like that, I think." you say, and he hums a reply, making sure just to go one step at a time with you. "When can I go home?" you ask him, and he stops in his motions just for a split second, before he continues.

"we're gonna get you into a new home soon darling, don't worry." he reassures.

"But Lady J will get mad if we're not home." you worry, holding his wrist still now. "I don't wanna go on the balcony again." you quietly voice your fears, and jimin puts the brush down before he pets your ears- hands moving to hold your face tenderly. He can only imagine the horrors you must've faced.

"She can't and won't hurt you anymore. I promise." he tells you with urgency. "I told you I'll protect you, right?" he asks, ans you nod. "see? And I stand by my word." he reassures.

"so you'll be my owner now?" you ask, and he chuckles a bit. Hybrids don't technically need owners anymore- they can file for independence just kite he himself did years back when starting his police training. But for someone like you, that concept must be more than terrifying- at least Yoongi had explained it that way.

'Victims like her can't just be tossed out into freedom, just like you can't give a starving person all the food they want. They need a slow recovery, steady progress, and a stable environment to heal. ' the cat hybrid and doctor had told him after evaluating your state of mind for the records. 'Give her time, and security. She's unable to make decisions for now, so maybe start by giving her choices first. Limit the options she has, and then expand as you make positive progress.' the cat had explained. 'there's no one I'd rather trust her with than you. You'll do just fine.'

And Jimin hopes, very strongly, that Yoongi is right about that.

He wants to do more than just fine.

[gemstarstarlight]

Hi! *waves*

I go by Crystal! I will also accept Little Plant, as I am small and aromantic asexual (or aroace, to make it faster). I post about a lot of things, and it was getting unwieldy so I wanted to make a quick summary and tag list for ease of navigation!

I post a lot about my life (I'm an evangelical Protestant minister so there's never a dull moment and I travel a lot), Christianity, being queer, the state of the world and how to live in it, and whatever thing I'm watching right now (check the tags if you're looking for a particular fandom, I usually just update with my favorite ones at the moment).

Here's a quick rundown of my personal tags and what they mean:

#thanks! it’s the trauma: posts that contain any and all discussions of my trauma. Most if not all of my vent posts are tagged with this. Lots of family stuff and emotionally abusive dynamics, so if you wanna filter out a tag this is the one to do that with.

#tw sex reference: If I post anything that has a sex/genitals reference I do my best to put it under this tag. If you’re not interested for any reason in having that on your dash filter out this tag too.

#mentality love: mostly traditional mental health stuff, but I also tag stuff that’s talking about how to grow your mentality, encouraging learning, or just in general things that help you live a better life.

#*checks for cameras*: posts that are relatable to me and make me wonder who's spying on my life.

#pretty pictures: art tag art tag art tag!

#philosophy takes: anything that’s about discussing life concepts, social issues, and how to think about things.

#reblog for posterity: general reblog tag.

#story time: posts I save to read to my grandmother about humans getting into Situations and Shenanigans.

#the hellsite strikes again: Tumblr is a unique website, and so a lot of Tumblr-specific posts go here, particularly if they feel like the quintessential Tumblr experience. I also have #tumblr how to that has ettiquete and general best practices to curate your experience (the tags #ao3 and #ao3 how to mirror this).

#the sacred texts: posts that are old and gold, the history of Tumblr. I lurked here for 10 years before getting an account, so if I recognize any of the posts from when I was a youngling it goes here.

#current status: the equivalent of Facebook's "what's on your mind?".

#tales of the fellowship: anything related to the friends that became family I met in my ministry organization; almost exclusively stories told in the tags of an unrelated nonreligious post.

#caaaaaaats: I have a son and I have loved him and his kind since before he was born, what do you want from me?

#musicians are just like that: musicians are really cool and talented and also some of the weirdest people on the planet (source: I have a B.A in music).

#americana wildlife: the weird/delightful parts of living in my very strange home country.

#mafia mutuals: a group of friends on Tumblr that just…do wild things together. Or say wild things. Most things under this tag won’t make sense. It’s usually Ink’s fault.

#crystal’s cold weather hate campaign: I hate cold weather and collect reasons to under this tag.

#snowboarding brother: I have two brothers: one of them is an adult who pays bills and likes to go snowboarding and get into Accidents and Shenanigans and Weird Shit. He's very nice, but is unfortunately a Man in his 20s.

#am i asexual?: most of the stuff tagged here is earlier when I first started my blog and was questioning and it’s not a huge tag, but I put it up here in case anyone who is also questioning if they’re ace wants to look through this tag and see how I was processing. Lots of my ace self-doubt and how I was thinking while I was figuring things out.

#allos are space orcs: just a bunch of amanormative/allonormative stuff that flummoxes me. I didn’t even notice half of this stuff until I was questioning and now it’s mostly just hilarious.

#tag game: polls, tag games/reblog chains, picrews, and asks all go under here. They're all quite long, as a heads up.

Anyway, hope this is helpful! Nice to meet you and welcome to my little internet home!

Love, Crystal

[degenerate-otaku]

Child Of Mine

(FNAF fic)

(In case u wanna read on ff.net or ao3 instead:

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14033016/1/2

(This is my first FNAF fic, exploring William's mental state early on and the challenges of fatherhood and how he came up with the idea for his creations)

******************************************

“I'm leaving Michael with you tonight...is that alright?”

Clara passed him into his father's arms.

“You don't mind...do you?”

Of course he minded! He was a man on a mission of becoming a respected scientist! He couldn't have a baby drooling over his blueprints.

“No...not at all, my love.” William smiled.

He was always good at pretending.

“Thank you so much...It's been so long since I've been out with my friends.”

She kissed him briefly and bent down slightly.

“You'll be a good boy for daddy, won't you Michael?”

The baby giggled, reaching his hand out to his mother who had to let go, relinquishing him to William.

“Right...I'll see you later then, love.” They said their goodbyes at the door.

It would only be a few hours. She'd be home by half past 9.

Only 3 and a quarter hours from now.

'Alright. I can manage.'

William sighed and went to put Michael in his crib.

“There.” He put him down as gently as possible. It had already been a year yet he wasn't used to holding him. He was so fragile. Children's bones were easy to break, he knew that.

William tucked the boy in and placed the plushy he had embedded with a microphone close by, to watch over him.

“That'll do.” He said to himself before going back downstairs, into his office.

He was working on a robotic hand, currently. It looked so close to a real one, with the joints and gears being like knuckles and tendons.

William wanted to be known for something.

Admired. Respected. Worshipped.

His scientific advancements would surely bring him immortality, his name forever remembered, echoed in the same schools he graduated from.

He could see it now.

The Nobel Prize would be in his hands. He knew he was close to a breakthrough regarding robotics and his endoskeletons; just a little more time was needed.

He gripped the rubbery handle of the screwdriver tight as he put in another miniscule screw.

Then there was wailing.

The tool dropped from his hands and he could hear the baby's infernal crying from both the device that picked up the sounds from the toy's recorder and from upstairs.

William growled, getting up from his desk as he stormed upstairs.

Now, what did Clara tell him to do?

He picked the baby up, rocking him in his arms, but it still screamed, no matter how hard he shushed it.

Was it hungry?

No, Clara fed him before.

Thirsty?

Nah, he also had milk today.

'Then...what?'

William noticed the foul stench and his nose scrunched up.

'Oh, fantastic. Of course when Clara leaves.'

He wanted to just leave it until she came back. She was good at cleaning up messes. Women were just better at that sort of thing, he decided. He knew that the infant would just never stop crying until he changed him so reluctantly did his best to.

The infernal thing just kept kicking his legs!

“You little cunt-” He cursed. “Stay still!" He commanded, as if it would understand.

He managed to do the deed and disposed of the waste.

As he did so he kept wondering how it had come to this: William Afton, brilliant scientist, now playing house, hardly able to change his son's diaper.

When did all this happen?

He recalled refusing that the baby was his.

Clara herself admitted she saw other men when he went to Oxford after that summer when they were a thing.

He denied Michael was his child up until the boy was born and then it was easy to see that they were related. He couldn't argue with those bright blue eyes and soft brown hair. Then he was trapped.

He married Clara, to avoid the harsh looks of judgy neighbours, and now he was here.

'At least you're a very handsome fellow.'

William put him back to bed, and went downstairs once again.

'Now...where was I?' He picked up his screwdriver once more and glanced at his blueprints.

Then there was wailing again.

He slammed the tool back on the desk and rushed back up.

”Oh, what now?!“ He yelled.

The boy was fed, clothed, clean, everything, so what more could he want?

What did he even have to cry about? He hadn't seen the world and its pain, like William had, even at the age of just 20, he knew that you had to focus on the bigger picture.

”Shut up!“ He ordered.

”J-just stop crying!“ He stood over the crib.

Nothing was working.

”Please-“ He begged. ”Please, Michael just stop it.“ He tried to reason with the child.

He scanned the room. Maybe there was something to entertain him?

He held the golden bear plushy Clara had sewn, waving it in front of him.

”Look! Look!“

It didn't distract him.

He switched on the spinning lantern he loved to watch, yet nothing still, he just screamed and wailed.

Then, William picked up a bunny ear headband that Clara jokingly bought during Easter. He put the yellow ears on his head and Michael looked at him, confused.

”Hey, there! I'm uh...“

He had to think quickly of a name.

”Bonnie, the Bunny!"

William put on a silly voice as he tried to entertain his son.

“Hello, Mikey!”

The boy finally stopped crying and even began to smile.

“You like me, huh, Mikey?”

William- no, 'Bonnie', asked.

“Well, I'm sure glad I've put a spring in your step!” He grinned, loving the way Michael could so easily be swayed by the tone of his voice.

“Bonnie thinks you should go to beddy-byes while your daddy works, alright, Mikey?”

'Bonnie' tucked the boy in.

“Don't you worry, my pal...uh...Fredbear will look after you.” He put the cuddly toy close to him, then turned to leave, the ears still on him.

Michael reached his hands out to him and whined softly.

“Oh...you don't want me to go?”

He realised.

“Well...don't you worry, Michael...”

He softly stroked the boy's hair.

“I always come back.”

[fairyoftbz]

lavande | l. hyunjae

🥡 pairing: crush!hyunjae x fem!reader 🥡 wc: 3.2k 🥡 genre: fluff, university au, slice of life 🥡 tw: none? i think? 🥡 synopsis: as you are talking to Chanhee, your crush appears in the lecture room, leaving you with a hammering heart. 🥡 a/n: it's already Monday again, so posting time!! i wrote this because i kinda miss uni without covid, I had such a good time back in 2019 😩 feedback is always appreciated!! <33 🥡 requested: yes, thank you! i hope it's good enough!!

╰☆☆☆☆╮

“Have you done the readings we were supposed to?” Chanhee whispered in your ear as you turned on your computer, the screen remaining black made you frown as you quickly glanced at your friend, hand deep in your backpack to find your charger.

“Wait, let me guess. With the abandoned puppy eyes you're giving me, you want me to summarise what this was about, am I right?"

“Please Y/N, I didn't have time this week, it has been so hectic! I promise I'll buy you a coffee," you waved your hand in front of your face to let him know that he didn't need to, and you leaned your arm under the table to look for a plug while summarising what you had understood to your friend.

He listened intently until his eyes looked over your head, a smirk forming on his mouth. You frowned for a split second but continued your explanation, noticing that the smile didn't want to leave Chanhee's face. You deeply sighed, trying to make your friend pay attention, but it was to no avail. He was busy looking at something else.

“Are you listening to me, or am I talking to my computer?” you asked, and your friend returned your attention to you, his puppy look made you shake your head and roll your eyes. He looked behind you one last time, and you turned around in frustration, your breath getting stuck in your throat as you discovered what was amusing Chanhee so much.

You did a double-take when you noticed the man standing at the entrance, your pulse quickening as your hands became sweaty and hot. Every student around you, including Chanhee holding your arm to hear the rest of your explanation, disappeared from your field of view. You only had eyes for the one who stole your heart without realising it.

Hyunjae pushed the lecture door open and held it out for the group following him, politely nodding at the blushing girl that thanked him. He pursed his lips and scanned the auditorium, trying to find a familiar face to sit next to. The air was stuffy and odorous, the young man cursing the caretakers for not ventilate it more often as he was almost sweating because of his outfit. His white turtleneck and pants, as well as the lavender sweater, were thick enough for him to be warm to walk from his apartment since it was still quite chilly in the morning, but he felt like he was wearing winter clothes in the middle of a heatwave when he entered this room.

“Wow,” you murmured under your breath and looked down on your phone, trying to hide your attraction for him from your friends around you, your right hand holding your head up, hiding your eyes at the same time. You heard Chanhee mockingly exhale through his nose as he noticed you munching on your bottom lip, a habit of yours he had caught a glimpse of you doing when you were stressed or embarrassed. In this current case, you were both.

Tugging on the collar of his white turtleneck, Hyunjae sighed in annoyance as he walked down the first few steps. Cursing himself for arriving so late, he sighed as the only remaining seats were in the first few rows, where he had almost 99% of the chance of getting chosen by the professor to answer a question. He dropped his bag from his shoulder onto the table as he looked at the rows again, his eyes immediately discerning the funny stickers at the back of your computer.

“It won’t hurt anyone if I just check where he is,” you thought, but it was probably the worst idea you’ve ever had because your eyes met his dark, chocolate ones, his eyebrows lifting in relief when he recognised other familiar faces in your row.

“Y/N, you’re drooling, be careful,” your friend Chanhee whispered in your ear, teasing as you looked away from Hyunjae and wiped your mouth as quickly as possible, warmth flooding your veins as you keep your finger pressed on the power button of your computer. Your best friend laughed at your antics, but you turned a blind eye to him and mentally cursed yourself for not being as wary as you thought you were.

“Idiot, how could you be discreet if you made direct eye contact with him?” You shook your head at this thought and took a deep breath, inwardly praying that he would sit far from you as you mindlessly scrolled down through your notes.

“Hyunjae, over here!” Sunwoo stood up and raised his deep voice over all the hubbub of the auditorium, pointing at the empty spot between you and Chanhee. It was reserved for Eric who was running late, but you noticed the vacant seat next to Sunwoo and whined. You swore that the rest of the row was packed when you arrived, but it looked like a spot magically freed itself when Hyunjae appeared. It was as if your friends had planned this behind your back.

“Can I sit here?” A gentle, deep voice said, and you looked up. Much to your dismay, it was Hyunjae. “Uh, s-sure,” you stumbled on your sentence as if it were your first time speaking, closing your eyes and inner face palmed yourself at the mess you had just become in a matter of seconds.

You gathered your belongings and held them against your chest as you stood up and sat next to Chanhee, giving your crush your now empty spot. Placing your bag on the floor, you turned your head to the right and stared at your friends, only to find them laughing and bickering together. Changmin was imitating your bashful answer, and Sunwoo’s smug grin painted on his face as he cheekily winked at you, everything confirming your doubts that this situation was one of their playful plans. You sighed in exasperation and typed the title of your notes on a new document as if the entire situation weren’t bothering you.

“Thanks,” Hyunjae said as he sat down, and your heart skipped a beat when you heard his gorgeous voice that caused the hairs on your arms to stand up. His smile made him ten times more attractive, and your heart seemed to struggle to cope with his beauty.

You tried your best to ignore your crush’s presence on your left as you typed down your notes at high speed, but it was harder than you thought. He was close, too close for you to function properly and pay attention to the lecture, his presence and cologne distracting you. There were times where you could feel his gaze on you when you were typing or taking a sip of water, your hands immediately tensing and jolting under the pressure of his aura.

As the lecture finally finished, you quickly packed up your stuff and zipped your backpack before putting it on your shoulders. You didn’t even bother saying goodbye to your friends as you stood in your seat and jumped on the table of the higher row behind you to escape your group. Kevin tried to hail you by calling your name, but you were quick to pace towards the exit and vanish into the mass of the crowd.

You almost reached the library, your safe area where you always sought comfort and peace when a hand gently caught your wrist, your eyes immediately drawn to the familiar lavender knitted sleeve. You breathed heavily at the warmth of the slender hand, and you turned around to face none other than your crush.

“Gosh, you were walking so fast,” he chuckled as he finally got you, his hold still wrapped around your wrist blasting electricity through your veins. The contact felt pleasant, yet it felt so wrong to be this close to him. “I wanted to ask you something before the lecture ended, but you disappeared,” Hyunjae smiled as his cheeks became the prettiest shade of pink you had ever seen. You shyly smiled, muttering a soft apology, and you frowned, not letting him time to say another word.

He opened his mouth to say something when you drew him behind one of the colossal pillars holding up the second floor as you saw Chanhee’s bleached hair peeking out from an opened auditorium door, spying on you two. Hyunjae looked confused but let you drag him anyway.

“Sorry, what were you saying?” You tried to look unbothered, but your fidgeting hands betrayed you, making your crush smile. “Hum yeah, I was wondering if you wanted to have lunch with me today?” he asked, looking straight into your eyes, a big, bashful smile decorating his face. "I know a good café not too far from college, so I was wondering if-” “S-sure, why not?” you blurted out, and you heard muffled laughs coming from behind Hyunjae.

You both peeked out and noticed your friends piled up on top of each other, trying to listen to the conversation you were having with your crush. You sighed and shook your head in annoyance, tired of the lack of privacy your love life was experiencing every day because of them, Eric laughing even louder for getting caught eavesdropping like that.

A hand landed on your shoulder, and you felt a breath near your ear, making your heart skip a few beats in a row.

“Let’s go before they follow us, okay?” you glanced at Hyunjae, and he looked at you with something in his eyes that made your chest tighten, making the process of breathing troublesome. He grinned at your state and innocently grabbed your clammy hand as you two sped off towards the exit and ran past your friends into the mob.

As you slowed down in the streets, trying to look as civil as possible, you readjusted your backpack strap and caught your breath while laughing, Hyunjae smiling as brightly as you did. He found your laugh so pretty and light-hearted, he felt internally lucky to be part of the reason for it. You went down to the end of the street, still walking close to him, and he paused in front of a takeaway place. Holding the door for you, you shyly thanked him and entered the restaurant, the smell of Chinese food making your stomach grumble in hunger.

“Choose whatever you want, it’s on me,” you turned around and immediately backed up a bit, startled by the proximity of you two. Hyunjae only smiled, and you turned your attention back to the food. “Really?” you asked, and he snickered at your shocked state, nodding with a soft smile on his face. "Gosh, I am so hungry,” you muttered under your breath as your eyes roamed on the menu above your heads, heavily breathing as you were still trying to catch your breath back from the sprint you had just run to escape from your foolish friends.

Relief rushed through your veins when he took the reins and ordered for the two of you, your mouth uttering thank-yous like a mantra, only to have your crush waving it off.

“Y/N, it’s okay, don’t worry about it!” he said, and you stopped to look at him, Hyunjae beaming at you while grabbing the paper bag with your steamy food at the bottom. You quickly seized some napkins and disposable utensils and walked back to Hyunjae, who was already outside, waiting for you. “So, where are we going now?” he said, and you shrugged, looking around you, not knowing anything only outside from the library. “I know a good place, it’s not far from here,” you vaguely pointed to your right, and Hyunjae immediately started walking. “Let’s go before the food gets cold!” he exclaimed and let you take the lead.

It was a small park hidden a few streets away from your university, meeting other students since there was another park inside the campus. Bowing down to pat the grass a few meters away from the artificial pond, you sat down as it was dry, but Hyunjae handed you the food and took out his folded waterproof jacket from his bag. Placing it on the ground, he gestured you to come and sit with him.

“Here, come sit with me, you’ll be more comfortable,” he said, and you obeyed, your knees touching as you set the paper bag down next to you and handed him his food and drink. Your proximity didn’t leave you indifferent, but you tried your best to hide it as much as possible.

Hyunjae noticed your little change of behaviour and found you adorable when you looked away at each of his compliments. Your arms were now touching since his jacket underneath you wasn’t a picnic tablecloth, and you were slowly getting used to his body warmth surrounding you.

As the lunch break went by, you talked about your respective majors, and you joked about the shared lecture of this morning, getting closer and closer to each other. He was kind-hearted and became more comfortable when you were alone, gently nudging you in the elbow when you were about to lift your chopsticks to your mouth, the noodles falling back into your bowl. Wiping your mouth with a napkin, you were quick to nudge him back and laugh, still careful not to stain any of his clothes.

“You… look really nice today. I like those colours on you,” you complimented him, and he smiled at your hesitant voice, taking a sip of soda before answering. “Thank you Y/N, I appreciate it,” you nodded and started chewing on your bottom lip, eyes divagating towards the pond surrounded by plants and flowers. “You look really pretty as well,” he whispered in your ear, and you froze at his words, your heart skipping a beat as he had seized the opportunity of you letting your guard down as you were paying attention to the pond. You offered him a soft smile and took a sip of your drink as well to try and calm your racing heart.

He kept playing with it since he was having fun by making you embarrassed and shy with his compliments and proximity. Hyunjae knew that it was working despite your never-ending tries of hiding it, and he felt proud to have this effect on you. Although it was hard for him to see you chew on your lip like that, he had to force himself not to cup your face and tell you to stop, because he was really tempted to do so. However, when you started scratching your lip with your fingers, that’s when he grabbed your pitiless hand and held it in his.

“Hey, don’t do that,” he said and grabbed a napkin to dab the blood coming out of the little cuts on your bottom lip you had caused out of nervosity.

You guiltily avoided his eyes and searched for your lip balm in your bag before quickly applying some. The temptation of starting again was real when your hand was still cradled in his, your crush not giving a single sign of him being ready to let go of it. Alternatively, he rubbed his thumb over your knuckles as you both observed the pond and the people chilling around you.

Much to your dismay, your little romantic moment was interrupted by the church clock striking thirteen times, announcing 1 PM. You both didn’t pay attention at first, but it was when you couldn’t see a single student around you that you realised something.

“Oh god, Statistics! We have statistics in less than fifteen minutes,” you hurriedly said as you jumped on your feet, placing all your trash in the paper bag. “Oh shit!” Hyunjae imitated you and grabbed the bag from you, jogging to the trash can on the other side of the pond while you grabbed your belongings and quickly folded his jacket. He thanked you, and you left in a rush, under the confused eyes of your neighbours.

Even if it wasn’t too far from your college, you still jumped in the bus that was about to drive off from the stop right outside the park, the doors closing right behind Hyunjae. You sighed in relief as you both made it, and you tightly grabbed the metallic bar as the bus sped uphill.

“I’m glad this bus was here, I don’t think I could’ve walked back up there after our lunch,” you smiled at his words, his hand holding the bar above your heads, his lavender sweater going high enough for you to see his black Gucci belt keeping his turtleneck tucked in his pants. “I don’t know who had this marvellous idea of building the university on top of a hill,” you sarcastically mumbled and pressed the button next to your head as the screen announced the stop.

Hyunjae was the first to jump off the vehicle, grabbing your hand as you were quick to imitate him, the mass of students behind you forcing you out. Your crush followed you like a lost puppy through the different staircases and corridors, your great sense of orientation leading you quickly to the auditorium you were almost late to. You were out of breath when you finally arrived there, right before the clock struck 1:15 PM.

Surprisingly, the rows were practically empty, but you instantly spotted your friends in the middle, some of them still eating while the others were laughing or reading together. Hyunjae grabbed your hand for the nth time today, slowly getting used to this new feeling, and you dragged him towards them, but he resisted.

You looked at him, his eyes scanned the auditorium just like he did this morning and looked back at you with a smile before gesturing over a good spot, a bit higher and further away from your friends. Changmin, with his eagle eye, was quick to notice Hyunjae's lavender sweater and warned your friends, all turning around to observe you and your crush sitting together. Chanhee gasped as he quickly saw you holding hands, gossiping about it to his hyungs. Juyeon just shrugged, unbothered by the situation as he cracked his fingers and neck, getting ready to type.

You noticed your friends smirking at you and hid your head behind your computer screen, Eric leaning back in the vacant seats just enough for him to appear in the corner of your eye, his mouth transforming into a pout to mimic a kiss. You rolled your eyes and groaned, offering him a disapproving look, your antics sending him in a fit of giggles.

Hyunjae smiled at you before looking at your friends, who cooed and loudly gagged when he grabbed your hand and lifted it for them to see. You didn’t know what to do with yourself, embarrassment taking over your body as your friends cheered, drawing attention towards you and your crush, the latter replacing your linked hands on his lap, under the table.

“Why would you do that?” you dared to ask, and you shouldn’t have, your voice breaking mid-sentence made your crush giggle. “Let them be, they’re just happy that their best friend is getting out of their comfort zone. Plus, you look cute when you are flustered,” he said, and the professor started talking, preventing you from answering him.

He just sat there with a satisfied smile on your face, while you were trying not to pass out here and there with your heart beating this fast.

[serendipitouslyyyyyy]

In case you're wondering how I am, I just finished reading the entirety of Ours Poetica and then dove straight into reading TUMOASD. I'm strongly considering rereading Passerine once I'm done, too, to make it the angstiest triple feature known to man. This is totally not a result of my current mental state wdym.