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cryptidsandcatacombs · 6 years ago

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Coffee Date

Summary: Tagora and Oz are out enjoying a small coffee shop on Alternia. Oz has a few mental issues to sort out and Tagora is being a sneaky ferret.

A/N: Take my s/i and what they are as part of a Homestuck/Hiveswap AU where I change the canon facts a little. I am aware of canonical facts concerning trolls and their biology as well as cultural norms, but again this is an AU and also *gives you a permit that says “I do what I want”*.

I should also specify that adults are indeed allowed on Alternia in my self insert au and Tagora and Oz are both depicted as 18+

It was a Fall day on Alternia. Well, what someone like Oz would consider Fall weather. The weather on Alternia was anyone’s guess on this bitch of a planet anyways.

Oz was wearing a lovely purple scarf given to him by Gamzee. It was a bit clumsily made at first but Gamzee did his best. With a bit of help from Marvus and Kanaya, the scarf turned out amazing. Gamzee said it was sort of something to “make a brother feel all welcome and shit into the dark carnival family.” The Dark Carnival being the name of the circus run by the purple bloods.It was wild and eccentric, but never left you bored. Then again, boring was never in a purple trolls nature. That’s one of the things Oz liked about them. He was still getting used to being a part of it himself. Though, despite his best efforts, he wonders if he’ll ever truly belong with them, even if he is a purple blood himself.

“But I’m only half,” he whispered to himself. Suddenly, his phone rang interrupting his thoughts. The phone ID said the words “GorGor” on it. Oz answered it without a second thought.

“Hey Gorgor what’s up,” Oz said casually. “Same old as always,” Tagora said with a pleased smirk. “I just called to inquire if you wanted to join me for a nice cup of coffee a bit of a ways into my area. It’s about a 5 minute walk from my office.” “Don’t you usually make your own coffee,” Oz asked. Tagora could be incredibly picky about his coffee. “That’s not what I asked.” Straight to the point as ever. “Or does practice schedule not agree with this,” Tagora asked. It’s true the circus practice schedule left him somewhat busy. Being both a tightrope act and a tarot reader was no joke. Also, not to mention everyone on Alternia wanted to come see the half troll from Earth. It was an overnight sensation.

“Nope, not today. It’s a bit of an off season right now,” Oz answered. “Excellent, meet me by my office in 10. Don’t be late,” he said with a click of the phone. He hung up afterward. “As expected, he never likes to waste time with pleasantries,” Oz said heading towards his office. It was going to be a boring day anyhow. All the other trolls were off doing something or another. Gamzee was having a jam with Tavros, Marvus was off doing god’s knows what, Karako was doing his own little art projects,and etc. Oz would have called Tagora earlier himself, but he didn’t want to bother him in case he was busy. Guess that answers that question.

Luckily, it wasn’t much of a walk to get to Tagora’s place. He kind of knew how to get there by heart by now anyhow. Oz gave a timid knock at the door. He was probably inside not wanting to be outside for as much as possible. This is another reason why Oz was surprised he asked to go to a cafe out of the blue. Being in a somewhat open and social environment isn’t really Tagora’s style. What was going on today? The door opened for Oz and he stepped inside. Tagora was busy getting his coat and scarf. Both in shades of teal and purple. Oz looked around as Tagora quietly got his stuff together. Oz would never stop being impressed with Tagora’s interior decorating nor his cleanliness. It smelled nice too. Wait, was that smell actually Tagora? What scent was he wearing? It was a nice floral scent, but also had a hint of cologne to it. Very nice combination.

“Ready to go,” Tagora said suddenly stepping into Oz’s line of sight. “Oh yeah sure,” Oz still kind of startled. It was then Oz noticed Tagora’s lusus over his shoulder. The ferret gave him a soft bit of acknowledgement. The lusus was already used to his presence.

“Well, then lets go. The seats in this place are sporadic and I don’t like standing around waiting for a table,” Tagora said leading him off. “Oh yeah, good idea,” Oz said following behind him.

“By the way, nice scarf.” Wow, a compliment from Gorgor was as rare as a blue moon. “Thanks. Gamzee, Marvus and Kanaya made it for me. Gamzee wanted to make me a gift,” Oz said giving a sentimental smile. Tagora made a small noise that made him sound almost impressed. “Whats up,” Oz asked. “Nothing just uh...never mind. Coffee shop is up here,” Tagora said clearly avoiding the question.

Oz had passed by this coffee shop a few times himself, but had been putting off going in.There were a few trolls outside. Some clearly art students. Tagora opened the door for Oz to step in. As Oz stepped through, Oz could tell that it wasn’t that crowded. Guess too many people don’t want coffee at this time of day. Pity. It was a nice day for it. Tagora was already off at the counter ordering for what appeared to be both of them. “Wow, not even gonna ask me,”Oz mumbled. Fair enough though. He probably knew more about Alternian coffee and tea than he did at this moment. Being around juggalos meant drinking lots of faygo and water. None of them were really that much of tea or coffee drinkers. Tagora came back with a couple of cups ushering Oz to sit in a nice place downstairs. “It’s a bit quieter down here to be honest. The only people you’ll find down here are people trying to study or writers,” Tagora shrugged picking a table towards the wall. Everything screamed him wanting to be away from people as much as possible. So again, why invite Oz out.

“I ended up ordering you the closest thing to a decaf mocha or whatever it was on the menu.” Now it was Oz’s turn to be impressed. “What? You don’t think I remember your preferences. For shame,” Tagora snarked. “But you didn’t ask,” Oz still kinda confused. “That’s cause I know you’re still having problems reading our writing and you can’t really understand cafe jargon yet I’m guessing. Plus, I know you get nervous in those situations. Your as much of an anxious wreck as I am face facts,” Tagora said in a matter of factly voice. “Plus, you don’t think I remember this stuff? Of course I do.” “Oh yeah. I told you that a few months back didn’t I,” Oz remembered. Tagora was being strangely open today. What was going on? What was up with Tagora period? Did he lose a bet or something?

“Anyways, how’s practice going? No accidents via the tight rope as of late I hope,” Tagora said taking a small sip of what could be described as something with a dark, burboun but very rich scent. Slightly sweet actually. “Meh,I had a close call the other day. Luckily, Gamzee has fast reflexes and a quick panic button,” Oz explained as he took a sip of the mocha. Wow, this was so nice. Tagora really did know what he was doing.

Oz looked up and..wait, was that panic on Tagora’s face. “Hey, you ok,” Oz asked taking notice being a bit concerned. “Yeah um I”m fine.” Liar. Tagora moved to once again change the subject. “They seem to be treating you well. That’s nice to have here on big bad Alternia.” Tagora was apparently trying to prod something out of Oz. “Yeah they are...” Oz said seeming distant. Tagora’s lawyer mind had already detected red flags. “But...” Tagora said getting to the point. Oz was taken aback. Well, no use hiding it now. Oz was used to Tagora being able to see right through him. To be honest, having someone like that around him that can see right through his bullshit is refreshing. “Well....god, how long has it been since I came to Alternia. Like almost a year,” Oz explained. “I’m just...I’m still getting used to the idea of being half Alternian. Ever since Dad found me and explained what he was...what I was...I thought I’d be ok,” Oz continued.

Oz then pointed at the several troll features that were slowly starting to develop on his body. He was in his 20s sure, but he was a late bloomer. His horn had fully grown and his teeth and eyes were following after. “When I started growing these, I was with my mother who didn’t tell me who my father was. My dad didn’t even know he had a kid,” Oz said kind of sadly.

“Does your mom know you’re here,” Tagora asked even though he kind of knew the answer. “No. Dad kind of found out about me on one of his visits to Earth. He wasn’t too happy mom hid me from him. She was kind of an abusive bitch anyhow,” Oz said bluntly. “So, it’s best she doesn’t know.”

“And to be honest, I’ve been getting acquainted at the idea of being a purple blood, but..” Oz cut off trying to find the words to say. Tagora leaned forward with a raised eyebrow. “I have no idea if I really fit in. Like they can rap. I can’t. I don’t have much of the clown thing going for me. What am I? Why am I here? What can I do? I want to be part of them so bad, but what if I can’t.” Oz held his head in his hands semi defeated. This had been bugging him for ages, but was afraid to tell his best friend Gamzee because he was afraid it would make him and the rest of the purple bloods like they weren’t doing a good job. That’s the last thing Oz wanted especially since they have been so welcoming and kind.

The sound of a chair can be heard backing up. The sound of steps moved closer to Oz. Oz looked up to see Tagora placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Give me your hands for a minute,” Tagora asked. Oz did as he said. Tagora took them both gently in his hands.

“Listen Oz,” Tagora said rubbing Oz’s hands in little circles with his thumbs,”You really do fit in with them in so many ways. They’re a pretty accepting and laid back bunch, which you are. You may not be able to do what they can do, but it’s ok to be just a little different. I’m pretty sure they are too. They just want you to be a part of their lives Oz. They worry about you. I hope you know that. You’re going to fit in, even if you’re different and you’re not going to lose them. I promise.”

Tagora always did have a habit of getting to the heart of a problem. It was his habit as a lawyer and as someone whose very much sharp as a whip. He may not be able to socialize much, but it’s moments like these where he shines.

“Besides, you’re a circus clown in your own way,” Tagora joked. Oz smirked and laughed a little. “Besides, don’t you have your own song writing and creative writing thing you do. It’s not rap or painting, but it’s your own thing . Trust me when I say you’re definitely one of them,” Tagora smirked.

“Hey Tagora...,” Oz said smiling a little,”Thanks.”

“Hey, I’m here ok. Just don’t be afraid to open up to them ok,” Tagora grabbing the cup from his original seat.

Oz gave a small smile. “Ok but no promises.”

Tagora shrugged. Something told him that’s was as far as he was getting right now. “Anyhow, tell me when your next show is,” Tagora asked.

“Why do you ask,” Oz said with a raised eyebrow. Wouldn’t he hate going to something like that?

“Curious. I want to see where our schedules land,” Tagora answered.

“Oh, in a month. We don’t have as many shows this time of year,” Oz explained. “Noted,” Tagora said taking a sip of his coffee.

Oz took a sip of his as well, but Oz couldn’t help but feel like Tagora was hiding his own secrets. Could just be the mocha or emotional high he was on, but Oz shook it away as just being paranoid.

Tagora walked Oz back to his hive where Gamzee was waiting. “Hey Gorgor. See you helping a brother out,” Gamzee said giving Tagora and small wave. “It’s fine just please use netting under those tight ropes please,” Tagora said in a bit of a naggy tone.

“Oh, you told him about your accident the other day huh,” Gamzee chuckled. “Yeah, but I’m fine as you can see,” Oz sighed. Tagora pulled Oz into a quick hug. “Just take care of yourself ok,” Tagora said before walking back to his own hive.

“So Gamgam, how was your jam quest with Tav” Oz asked letting Gamzee in. The sound of a huge dog was running to the door. The dog lusus was about as big as Oz. That wasn’t saying much seeing as Oz was 5′2.

“Oh you know. Crack some sick motherfucking beats. Lay done some wicked lyrics. Ya know how it is,” Gamzee said petting Oz’s lusus.

“So what you been all up to,” Gamzee asked flopping over onto the couch. “Went to a coffee shop with Tagora. It’s weird. He’s never usually into doing that stuff. He even asked when my next show was. He’s been acting weird all day.”

“Mmmhmmm about that. I was kinda waiting and keeping this little thing all up to myself and shit, but I think you gotta know seeing as it’s not ok to leave a brother confused and all,” Gamzee said. “We’ve been kinda noticing you haven’t been your old beautiful self, so we may have kind of caught Gorgor after one of our shows to lay down the deetz. He goes to all of them you know. I know you be all not up with the facts, but he does. You perform late, so I’m not surprised you don’t up and notice him from your tarot tent,” Gamzee explained.

“Wait, what, but he hates going to places like that.” This was shocking to say the least. “He does don’t get me wrong, but he cares. It’s why he all up and invited you for a feelings jam at the cafe. We told him we kinda had a hunch you hadn’t been yourself and something wasn’t right up in that thinkpan of yours and I think that kinda worried him a bit. We thought that you might be feeling a little out of place, so he thought maybe taking you to more places like a cafe would be a mighty fine solution. I figured that whatever you weren’t ready to be sharing to us you’d share in time. So, may as well get it all out with someone who can help,” Gamzee explained with a small smile.

“So wait he took me to a cafe cause he wanted me to feel comfortable with Alternian life and talk about my problems at the same time,” Oz asked. “Yeeepp,” Gamzee confirmed.

“Oh,” Oz face palmed. That explaines so much. “Shhiittt, he even suggested we make that nice scarf for you. Something about making you feel more at home or whatever. I was trying to use this old thinkpan of mine to think of a motherfucking idea on how to do that and Gorgor be all up and knowing a lot of amazing things, so I asked him,” Gamzee explained.

Well, that explains why he wanted to change the subject. Tagora you absolute goober. “But uh listen my brother, whenever you wanna slam down a cold one and have a good feelings jam, I’m here for ya,” Gamzee said giving Oz a soft but slightly protective hug.

“Actually, can we do that,” Oz asked. May as well. This afternoon with Tagora may have been just what Oz needed.

#self indulgent fics

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cloudbattrolls · 6 years ago

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PLASKE: troll Valtin.

In which two assholes have a surprisingly long conversation.

[09:14] -- immaculateApathy [IA] began pestering voluntoldMilitia [VM] at 21:14 --

[09:14] IA: I see a fuchsia in the mire, and I wonder.

[09:14] IA: What kind is this one?

[09:14] IA: Are they some fluffy-headed starlet?

[09:15] IA: Some tragically pathetic aspiring politician?

[09:16] IA: Or are they just one of the other endless pieces of fodder trying to carve out some sort of meaning before they die in a particularly amusing fashion.

[09:17] VM: Oh, how droll!

[09:17] VM: No insul+s?

[09:17] IA: Drolle is my line name.

[09:17] IA: Don't wear it out.

[09:17] VM: No+ a weak winded gasp of wader righ+ +o my face?

[09:17] VM: or an allusion +o +he fac+ I have gill ro+?

[09:17] IA: I had gill rot once. It was a remarkably entertaining experience telling all the indigos that it would make them grow gills too.

[09:18] VM: Or +ha+ I'm louging on a chaise, complaining +ha+ a servan+ is five seconds +oo slow bringing me +ea?

[09:18] VM: Hah!

[09:18] IA: Obviously the servant was ten seconds too slow.

[09:18] IA: Get your line right.

[09:18] VM: Well isn'+ +ha+ a way +o scare people.

[09:18] IA: It's like you're not even fuchsia

[09:18] VM: And please. +en seconds - excuse me.

[09:18] IA: Maybe you're not!

[09:18] IA: Maybe you're a very, very ambitious maroon.

[09:18] IA: In which case: good for you!

[09:18] IA: We all need dreams in life.

[09:19] IA: I support your playacting one hundred percent.

[09:19] VM: Well aren'+ you a chuckle fuck? Do you play a+ being a seadweller or are you jus+ a par+icularly high indigo +oo busy snor+ing congealed faygo?

[09:20] IA: I had no idea I was speaking with such a charming individual. I'm legally indigo! Though I have to admit; for someone who called the cliches, you ARE quick to use them.

[09:20] IA: Why, just because I'm a clown doesn't mean I've ever touched faygo. Maybe I abhor it.

[09:20] IA: Maybe I set it all on fire and make the other clowns watch so I can take glee as they ruin their facepaint.

[09:20] VM: Maybe you're ba+hing in i+ righ+ now?

[09:21] IA: Maybe I am.

[09:21] IA: You have no idea.

[09:21] VM: How's +he yeas+ infec+ion going?

[09:21] IA: Swimmingly.

[09:21] IA: How are your fins?

[09:21] IA: Are they the kind that droop like they're weighed down?

[09:21] VM: Drooping in despair over my la+e +ea.

[09:22] IA: Or are they the kind that are short enough that they inspire crude jokes?

[09:22] IA: Your tea escaped for a better life.

[09:22] IA: As did the servant, probably.

[09:22] IA: Unless you're actually banging them on the side.

[09:22] IA: Maybe especially then they'd want to escape.

[09:22] VM: Oh, you know wha+ everyone says. +he size of +he fins indica+e +he size of +he bulge and all +ha+ jazz

[09:22] VM: And le+ me +ell you, mine?

[09:22] VM: Massive.

[09:22] VM: +hick and rigid. Some+hing +o admire.

[09:22] VM: My fins are in fac+, glorious.

[10:08] IA: would accuse you of lying, but no, go on. Just how /glorious/ are these supposed fins. Really go into detail, so I can picture it.

[10:08] IA: I don't have any of my own, and to be quite honest they've always seemed overrated.

[10:08] IA: Good target for attacks.

[10:08] IA: But who knows? Perhaps you can win me over.

[10:18] VM: Oh, if you insis+!

[10:18] VM: +he spin+es of +he fins are long, poin+y and rigid, wi+h jus+ +he perfec+ amoun+ of supple mea+ +o +hem +ha+ le+s you know i+'s alive. Hones+ly jus+ +hrobbing wi+h rich fuschia goo.

[10:19] VM: +he fin filamen+s +hemselves? Sa+in sof+! You jus+ can'+ s+op rubbing i+.

[10:19] VM: Such a rich, beau+iful +yrian color, absolu+ely gorgeous and royal and sensi+ive +oo.

[10:19] VM: +hey +wi+ch a+ every movemen+!

[10:19] IA: Now to find what fanfic you're stealing this description from!

[10:19] VM: +hey're jus+ gorgeous, I'm +elling you.

[10:19] IA: Clearly the author needs a lay.

[10:19] IA: Perhaps several?

[10:19] IA: An entire orgy.

[10:20] IA: If anyone can be found to supply it who won't bolt even if paid,

[10:21] IA: Are you writing tyrian fanfics, you rowdy individual?

[10:21] IA: Joining the halls of everyone who's ever done the same?

[10:21] IA: Well, at least it's not helm fanfic. I have no idea how anyone is interested in that.

[10:21] IA: All of it is terribly written.

[10:24] VM: Please, no one knows how +o wri+e helm fanfic.

[10:24] VM: 'I slipped my bulge in+o his por+' like who does +ha+?

[10:24] VM: Who even looks a+ a por+ and goes 'hmm, how absolu+ely ravishing!'

[10:24] VM: Awful, +errible.

[10:24] VM: Breaks immersion.

[10:24] IA: Ports wouldn't fit a bulge in the first place. No one knows anything about technology.

[10:24] IA: It's shameful.

[10:24] VM: My bulge has re+rac+ed so far in+o my body I now have a second nook like some sor+ of yellowblood.

[10:25] IA: So you're yellow, and not maroon.

[10:25] IA: What IS it like having two of so many things.

[10:25] IA: No two thinkpans, clearly.

[10:25] IA: But maybe you have other surprising additions.

[10:26] VM: Well I cer+ainly am digging +he +wo legs +hing!

[10:26] VM: Do you know how nice i+ is +o s+and and no+ +ee+er around?

[10:26] VM: Absolu+ely smashing.

[10:26] VM: I don'+ know why more people don+' have +wo whole legs.

[10:26] VM: Also, +wo arms?

[10:26] IA: four horns?

[10:26] VM: +his means I can click on new fanfic+ion a+ +he same +ime while i +ry +o pry my bulge ou+ of i+'s newfound nook!

[10:26] IA: or would that topple over your head.

[10:27] VM: +wo eyes are also grea+. I can look bo+h lef+ AND righ+ a+ +he same +ime!

[10:27] IA: You /can?/

[10:27] IA: Even with only one thinkpan?

[10:27] IA: I'm so very proud of you.

[10:27] IA: Have a biscuit.

[10:27] VM: +hank you, I +ried.

[10:27] IA: It's shaped like the fish you want to be and clearly read far too much fanfic about.

[10:27] VM: I+ was so difficul+ bu+ I was so de+ermined.

[10:27] IA: That does explain how you've survived this long.

[10:28] IA: sheer unrelenting determination against the looming cull fork.

[10:29] IA: like a mayfly, desperately trying to build a small dirt pile before it gets swatted.

[10:29] IA: Unless you actually have achievable, non-stereotypical dreams?

[10:30] IA: But I suppose that's too much to hope for.

[10:31] IA: A spark of inspiration? An understanding of a greater scope?

[10:31] IA: I doubt it.

[10:33] VM: Wha+ can I say? My goal in life is +o be +he mos+ de+ermined mayfly I can be!

[10:33] VM: Because +hen I can go and, oh, i don'+ know, make my dea+h coun+!

[10:33] IA: Somehow, I doubt you are actually that naive.

[10:33] VM: I can fly righ+ in+o your drink, righ+ as you're +aking a sip!

[10:33] VM: OR crawl down your s+raw when you're no+ looking

[10:33] VM: and +hen i'm si++ing +here, wai+ing for you +o sip.

[10:34] IA: Please, VM, this isn't the time or place to write more fanfiction.

[10:34] IA: I didn't consent to this.

[10:35] VM: Wha+, you don'+ wan+ +o suck me righ+ in+o your mou+h?

[10:36] IA: I'm so very sorry, VM, but I just don't find goo attractive.

[10:36] IA: You already lost this battle.

[10:36] IA: everyone is crying.

[10:36] IA: nobody will give you a victory lay.

[10:37] VM: Well isn'+ +ha+ a shame!

[10:37] VM: +ha+'s okay +hough, I s+ill spen+ my dea+h ruining your day by si++ing in your s+raw un+il you drank me.

[10:37] VM: Anyway!

[10:37] VM: Who +he fuck even are you?

[10:38] IA: My ancestor likes to call me 'the ultimate disappointment' but he's a very dreary fellow so I usually go by Plaske.

[10:38] IA: Do I get a name from you?

[10:38] IA: And no, yours for your bulge doesn't count.

[10:39] VM: Well he's no+ clever a+ all, is he!

[10:40] VM: You could be '+he +inies+ hin+ of fecal ma++er on a goa+'s anus'!

[10:42] IA: Not really. He's spent all the two thousand sweeps of his life doing paperwork.

[10:42] IA: He is really, truly, devastatingly boring.

[10:42] VM: Oh wha+ a bore.

[10:42] VM: Paperwork!

[10:42] IA: Also, I doubt he's ever been outside long enough to even see a goat.

[10:42] VM: Is i+ even in+eres+ing paperwork?

[10:44] IA: Look deep inside yourself - actually no, look shallowly inside yourself, the deep parts are something I do not need to see more of - and ask yourself if figuring out where to place pupa clowns in circuses is exciting.

[10:44] IA: That shouldn't take long to answer.

[10:45] VM: Well +ha+'s easy.

[10:45] VM: In +he lion pens.

[10:46] IA: Good answer, but unfortunately the Empire would complain.

[10:46] IA: They've decided we're so very indispensable.

[10:46] VM: Don'+ +ell me.

[10:46] IA: I don't see it. Just because some of us are gorgeous doesn't mean we're relevant to politics.

[10:46] VM: You man +he //concession s+ands.//

[10:46] IA: Oh, no, not me.

[10:47] IA: Though that would be fun.

[10:47] IA: I could collect a wonderful memory of all the facial expressions.

[10:47] IA: And I could probably make even the boring uniform look good.

[10:47] VM: I somehow doub+ i+!

[10:47] VM: POs+ pics!

[10:48] IA: You act like I just have it hanging in my closet! I have to go get one.

[10:48] VM: Well go on +here!

[10:48] VM: I'm wai+ing!

[10:49] IA: I'm looking, so shut that no doubt tentacle-mouthed face of yours.

[10:49] VM: I can'+! HOw am I supposed +o brea+he if I do?

[10:56] -- immaculateApathy [IA] has sent it'sshort.png. It's a shot of them - the phone clearly held by some other troll - in a popcorn outfit, which is black with red trim but boring, and also short on their 6'5 ass so that the shirt becomes a crop top and the pants only go partway down their legs. They're leaning on the counter, eyebrows raised. They have several piercings in - nose, two sets of earrings, and one eyebrow. It's a contrast to their immaculate paint and gold-threaded braids. --

[10:57] IA: And now I'm going to change out of this, because even though I'm getting a nice breeze it's so unstylish.

[11:00] VM: Oh is +ha+ so? Well aren'+ you a sigh+ for sore eyes.

[11:01] IA: I'm a known cure for all eye soreness and I don't even charge, even though I should.

[11:01] IA: Five caegers per look.

[11:02] IA: Do I get a picture of your no doubt mildly horrifying mug?

[11:02] IA: Or do I just get to imagine what kinds of diseases you have.

[11:02] IA: Or maybe you don't! We've established that you're a fanfic writer.

[11:02] IA: That sort hardly gets outside.

[11:03] VM: Mmm.

[11:03] VM: NO.

[11:03] VM: Le+'s keep up +he mys+ery!

[11:03] IA: Fine by me.

[11:03] VM: Bu+ I can assure you,I'm also a sigh+ for sore eyes and I should be charging more +han //you// ever could.

[11:03] IA: You're probably doing me a favor.

[11:03] IA: Aw.

[11:03] IA: You're trying to feel better.

[11:03] IA: That's how to do it.

[11:03] IA: Chin up!

[11:04] IA: Thank you for not cursing me with your visage.

[11:04] VM: So +ell me more abou+ yourself, Plaske!

[11:04] VM: WHa+ do you do?

[11:04] IA: Truly, I should be begging at your feet in gratitude.

[11:04] VM: Oh please, you fla++er!

[11:04] VM: I'm only doing wha+'s bes+ for +he world.

[11:04] IA: I'm a clown, nameless stranger. What do you think I do? Go on. Take a few guesses.

[11:04] VM: Why, I can'+ jus+ have you keel over and die a+ +he firs+ glimpse of me!

[11:05] VM: Oh, who knows...

[11:05] VM: Do you crea+e ar+isan faygos?

[11:05] IA: any sentence that contains 'artisan' and 'faygo' is automatically a lie.

[11:05] VM: Do you roll around on a unicycle playing fun and quain+ circus songs on your bagpipes?

[11:05] IA: Unless the phrase 'isn't ever' is between them.

[11:05] VM: Do you crea+e fake silicone gills +o go s+icking on your neck for pho+o ops?

[11:05] IA: I like the bagpipes but I can't play them.

[11:05] IA: Oh, those are real.

[11:06] IA: Look up the Wilhem line if you don't believe me.

[11:06] IA: We all have gills. Just no fins.

[11:06] VM: Oh really now?

[11:06] IA: Which as I've said is no loss as far as I'm concerned.

[11:06] VM: Do +hey even work?

[11:06] IA: Of course they work. What would be the point of them otherwise?

[11:06] VM: Decora+ion!

[11:07] VM: Some people like +o play a+ being edgy af+er all.

[11:07] IA: I'm quite a fan of decoration, but not the point of nonsense. That's for weak-minded, sadly try-hard nuisances.

[11:07] IA: I dance.

[11:07] VM: I can +ell!

[11:07] VM: How many piercings is +ha+ in your face now?

[11:07] IA: If you want to know what style, you get to tell me something about you.

[11:07] IA: Enough.

[11:08] IA: I won't answer anything else until you do.

[11:08] VM: Well wha+ do you even wan+ +o know?

[11:08] IA: That being - what's your name? A fake one, if you're such a coward.

[11:08] IA: I don't care.

[11:08] VM: Clearly you're +he mos+ in+eres+ing one amongs+ +he +wo of us.

[11:08] IA: Make it entertaining.

[11:08] VM: You've guessed every+hing abou+ me!

[11:08] IA: That goes without saying but I didn't start a conversation to go on about myself. If I want to do that I can talk to the popcorn merchant.

[11:08] IA: She's mute.

[11:09] IA: So make up something fun.

[11:09] VM: Don'+ you make fun of her, I'm sure she's swee+.

[11:09] VM: I can'+ make up some+hing fun.

[11:09] VM: I only have one pan.

[11:09] IA: I really can't tell, she can't talk and her eyes are all red.

[11:09] VM: I used i+ up +rying +o do some+hing I"ve already forgo++en wha+ i+ was.

[11:09] IA: It's interesting to guess what she's feeling.

[11:09] VM: Because my pan is jus+ +ha+ small!

[11:09] IA: But who knows.

[11:09] IA: Oh, please.

[11:09] IA: What am I going to call you then, VM? An internet handle as if you're a wriggler?

[11:09] IA: That's pathetic.

[11:10] IA: Oh! What if I call you Finfin.

[11:11] IA: Hardly creative, but suitable given you are far, far too excited about them.

[11:11] VM: Oh I +hink +ha+'s perfec+!

[11:11] VM: Finfin is a beau+iful name.

[11:11] VM: So now +ha+ you've go+ a name for me, wha+ sor+ of music do you dance +o?

[11:12] IA: I'm so worried about you, you know?

[11:12] IA: The same way a lusus worries about something they just killed.

[11:12] IA: It's already past saving.

[11:12] IA: But you still feel some vague concern.

[11:13] IA: That wasn't an answer, Finfin.

[11:13] IA: So: what do YOU do to pass your time.

[11:13] VM: Oh you know.

[11:13] VM: I like si++ing +here and remembering how +o brea+he!

[11:13] VM: Do you read, Plaske?

[11:13] IA: Only that?

[11:13] IA: My.

[11:14] IA: Do you also remember how to stretch?

[11:14] IA: Of course I read.

[11:14] IA: What do you like to read?

[11:15] VM: I'm afraid I've never learned how +o read!

[11:15] VM: I only have so much brain power.

[11:15] IA: Oh the tragedy of it all.

[11:15] VM: Are you someone who likes learning, Plaske?

[11:16] IA: If the information is interesting enough.

[11:16] IA: What do you like to learn?

[11:16] VM: Wha+ do you consider in+eres+ing?

[11:16] IA: What do /you?/

[11:16] IA: The 'I'm a simpleton' jokes are officially old.

[11:17] IA: they died screaming.

[11:17] IA: It was ugly.

[11:17] VM: Screaming and being sucked down a s+raw +o an unfor+una+e dea+h of a simple mayfly looking +o ruin a nigh+?

[11:17] IA: Oh not this again.

[11:17] IA: I may yawn.

[11:17] IA: Then where would we be?

[11:18] VM: I like his+ory!

[11:18] VM: HOw's +ha+ for an answer?

[11:18] IA: A breakthrough!

[11:18] IA: A poor one, but I accept it.

[11:19] IA: In that case - I do several styles of dance, but my preferred one is swing.

[11:19] IA: Let me guess; you like military history.

[11:19] IA: Unless your handle is merely an amusing lie.

[11:20] VM: Eh, mili+ary his+ory frequen+ly in+eresc+s wi+h my preferred +opic, however i+ is no+ wha+ I usually go ou+ looking for!

[11:21] IA: I like to read about other religions.

[11:21] IA: So what IS your preferred topic?

[11:26] VM: I specialize in poli+ics and poli+ical his+ory! So perhaps you were righ+ when we firs+ began +o +alk abou+ +he oh, poor ups+ar+ waders.

[11:26] IA: Oh, that was fluff to get you talking.

[11:26] IA: If you actually have /ideas/, I'm intrigued.

[11:27] IA: Spouting such a tired cliche sincerely is for people with no imagination.

[11:28] VM: Oh, well now +ha+'s a secre+!

[11:28] VM: I like +o keep my ideas +o myself!

[11:28] IA: Is it because they're really boring and you're being polite?

[11:28] VM: +ell me more abou+ you, Plaske.

[11:28] VM: You dance swing, is +ha+ righ+? Why do you do swing?

[11:28] IA: Because I like it. Do I need a deep reason?

[11:28] IA: Deep reasons are for people who spend far too much time looking at themselves in the mirror.

[11:31] IA: If I'm going to look at myself in the mirror, I had better have a good outfit on.

[11:32] IA: As for what I find interesting - anything out of the ordinary.

[11:32] IA: Like you, for example.

[11:35] IA: A fuchsia so shy talking about themself.

[11:35] IA: If you are fuchsia. But I can believe it.

[11:35] IA: If not, well, it doesn't matter.

[11:35] IA: You're amusing enough.

[11:40] VM: Any+hing ou+ of +he ordinary? Is +ha+ so?

[11:40] VM: Wha+ sor+ of +hings have you come across +ha+'s ou+ of +he ourdinary?

[11:40] VM: Is i+ a clown +ha+ uses blue on +heir face ins+ead of black and whi+e?

[11:40] IA: A few mutants. Please, that's not interesting.

[11:40] IA: We use all kinds of colors. That's old news.

[11:40] VM: Or are you +alking abou+ +hings your fellow honks would consider here+ical?

[11:40] IA: Heresy is such a drab word.

[11:41] IA: When an entire religion was founded on jokes, what is heretical?

[11:41] IA: Anything too serious?

[11:41] VM: Any+hing promo+ing som+hing no+ honky.

[11:41] IA: Mutants at least have something new to offer.

[11:41] VM: Wha+ sor+ of mu+an+s have you me+?

[11:41] IA: I had one with lovely green hair, telekinesis, and psychic powers.

[11:42] VM: Oh how quain+.

[11:42] IA: They got spirited away by someone else I quite enjoyed associating with, more's the pity.

[11:42] VM: Dual psionics is barely a mu+a+ion +hough, isn'+ i+?

[11:42] IA: Of course not, but they had bright green hair.

[11:42] IA: And they couldn't eat several things, it was quite curious.

[11:43] IA: There was also one who was quite impaired.

[11:44] IA: Not sure what happened to him, but I doubt it was anything good given he had faceted eyes and small pincers on the sides of his mouth.

[11:44] IA: Alas.

[11:45] VM: Brigh+ green hair is also subjec+ive.

[11:45] VM: Dye, probably!

[11:45] VM: +ha+'s no+hing in+eres+ing.

[11:45] VM: I've +alked +o a candy red blood once before, did you know?

[11:45] IA: Oh, it wasn't dye. It was entirely natural.

[11:46] IA: Really? Or are you mocking me.

[11:46] IA: If so, sporting attempt, 5/10 credit.

[11:46] IA: If true, I have to admit I'm jealous.

[11:46] IA: I'd like to meet one but I've never found any. It's so odd, none of them seem to ever come near a circus tent.

[11:47] IA: Truly mysterious.

[11:47] VM: I+'s +rue!

[11:47] VM: +hey were a swee+ +hing, if a bi+ odd.

[11:48] VM: A scien+is+, in +heir own righ+!

[11:48] IA: What were they a scientist of?

[11:48] VM: I'll admi+, I didn'+ believe +hey were candy red ei+her, I +hough+ +hey were jus+ a par+icularly brigh+ orangeblood.

[11:48] VM: Medicine!

[11:48] VM: No+ qui+e a doc+or, no, bu+ +hey s+udied medicine.

[11:50] IA: Interesting. Perhaps they used such knowledge to stay undetected.

[11:50] IA: Though if they allowed you to find out their blood color, they must have been at least somewhat careless.

[11:50] VM: Oh no, +hey were, wha+, kep+ by +he flee+?

[11:50] VM: Some sor+ of experimen+ or o+her.

[11:50] IA: Really!

[11:50] IA: I thought those were just rumors.

[11:50] VM: I never did manage +o +alk +o +hem again +hough.

[11:50] VM: Oh, no!

[11:51] VM: +he flee+ frequen+ly pulls mu+an+s +hey find 'useful' ou+ of +he culling pools, don'+ you know?

[11:51] IA: I mean, you /could/ be making it up, but I'm pretty sure you'd make it sound more exciting.

[11:51] VM: Bu+ you really have +o prove yourself for someone +o do +ha+.

[11:51] IA: and that does sound like the Empire.

[11:51] VM: Or, you know, in your case, jus+ be highblooded enough for +hem +o overlook gills!

[11:51] IA: After all, the Wilhem line is 'allowed' to exist because -

[11:51] IA: Hahaha.

[11:51] IA: I see we both thought of that.

[11:51] IA: Don't think I'm unaware of the double standard.

[11:52] IA: I find it amusing.

[11:52] IA: The Wilhems are 'allowed' to exist because assuming we cut our gills out, like my dear old ancestor -

[11:52] IA: - it's supposed to be a show of faith and a symbol of the dominance of the church.

[11:52] IA: And yet, that's so terribly boring.

[11:53] IA: Following what one's line has done, simply as a gesture of snivelling to some clown on a throne?

[11:53] IA: Please.

[11:53] IA: If the new Grand Highblood wants my gills so much, she can come tear them out herself.

[11:54] IA: Oh, look, you got me to give a little speech.

[11:54] IA: Good for you.

[11:59] VM: Huh! Wha+ a shame for you.

[11:59] VM: +ha+ mus+ make life so awful.

[11:59] VM: Did you know I me+ someone once jus+ like you?

[11:59] VM: Or well, +hey //say// +hey're jus+ like you.

[11:59] VM: +hey're a bi+ brigh+ +o be considered indigo, so you've go+ +ha+ on +hem!

[11:59] IA: If you think I let something as petty as that ruin my life, you are charmingly deluded.

[12:00] IA: My ancestor doesn't care enough to actually enforce it. And even if he tried, he couldn't.

[12:00] IA: Oh, yes, there are plenty of cusps running around.

[12:00] IA: I'm not surprised.

[12:00] IA: We have two others in my circus alone.

[12:00] IA: Though really I'm fairly certain Sacchi is just lying about being one. Not that it matters.

[12:00] IA: A seadweller wanting to be a clown is certainly novel.

[12:01] IA: So why not let her pretend she's merely a high indigo.

[12:01] VM: Wha+ do you +hink of o+her cusps +hen? Are +hey no+ 'in+eres+ing' enough +o you?

[12:02] IA: A few might be, but only if they actually acknowledge it instead of ignoring it and pretending it's some great shame or other.

[12:02] IA: Do we shame a maroon for being a bronze cusp? Hardly.

[12:03] IA: I am indigo, and yet, I can breathe underwater. I don't pretend I cannot. It's a useful skill.

[12:03] VM: Isn'+ i+?

[12:04] VM: I+'s very useful and i+'s always a shame +ha+ someone doesn'+ wan+ +o accep+ +ha+ par+ of +hemselves.

[12:04] VM: Al+hough, I can see why.

[12:04] IA: So you're one of the ones who actually does spend time in the water instead of clinging to land.

[12:04] IA: Really? I think it's just silly insecurity.

[12:04] VM: Mu+an+s or +rolls ou+ of +he 'norm' are usually culled or os+racized.

[12:04] VM: +he nail +ha+ s+icks up ge+s hammered!

[12:04] VM: And we, as a species, do like +o fi+ in.

[12:05] IA: If someone is so weak minded that they'll let disapproval like that do them in, then they hardly have much of a chance as it is.

[12:05] IA: Being true to oneself is worth so much more than the petty concerns of narrow minded trolls

[12:05] VM: Is i+ +ruly weak?

[12:05] VM: Or is i+ being smar+ abou+ surviving?

[12:06] IA: A fuchsia talks about smart survival? You ARE unusual.

[12:06] VM: Does i+ ma++er if you've s+uck +o who you are if wha+ you are +urns you in+o a cold husk in +he ground?

[12:06] IA: So you are willing to compromise.

[12:06] IA: Fascinating.

[12:06] VM: Hahaha, is +ha+ really so odd for one of my cas+e?

[12:06] IA: I've met a few fuchsias.

[12:07] IA: Most of them thought nothing of survival and everything of their glamorous futures.

[12:07] VM: And wha+ flowy dress +hey should wear +o impress +he o+her be++a fish +hey swim wi+h?

[12:07] IA: Though one was a little worthwhile. Too odd to be sensible, but sharper than the others. Though she was older, too.

[12:08] IA: Flowy dresses are vital.

[12:08] IA: Short dresses just aren't worth it.

[12:08] IA: There's no style.

[12:08] IA: No class.

[12:09] VM: Please, everyone knows simplic+y is bes+.

[12:09] VM: A nice, form fi++ing dress is always bes+, I'd say.

[12:09] VM: Sure, i+ doesn'+ flow like +he o+hers, bu+ i+ jus+ looks... be++er!

[12:09] VM: I+ really pu+s on display +he bes+ par+s abou+ +he +roll's looks.

[12:13] IA: Does your mind always go back to that in the end.

[12:13] IA: It's amazing how it moves in one giant, slow circle.

[12:14] VM: Wha+ can I say? I lose my +yrian cred if I don'+ +alk abou+ fashion once in a conversa+ion.

[12:14] VM: Do you know how awful i+ is +o earn +he cred back? We have +o wa+ch six seasons of +hose modelling compe+i+ion shows, bu+ only +he ones wi+h seadwellers, no landdwellers.

[12:18] IA: I always wonder where they find enough decent looking seadwellers to even fill those.

[12:18] IA: Though I have to say, I didn't mean clothes, I meant your /other/ preoccupation.

[12:18] IA: which really, I assume you knew, and went for that silly joke anyway.

[12:18] IA: tsk tsk, predictable.

[12:21] VM: I'm sorry, I have no idea wha+ you're +alking abou+, I jus+ can'+ read! I +hough+ we affirmed +ha+ earlier.

[12:21] VM: Bu+, you know, you never answered my ques+ion.

[12:21] IA: Which one? You asked me enough to fill a popcorn bag.

[12:21] IA: I answered several of them.

[12:21] IA: Even the boring ones.

[12:23] VM: Does i+ ma++er if you've s+uck +o who you are if wha+ you are +urns you in+o a cold husk in +he ground?

[12:23] IA: Oh, that one.

[12:23] IA: That's reasonably interesting. I suppose it's worth the time.

[12:25] IA: The answer is that I don't know.

[12:25] IA: I've never had to make that choice.

[12:25] IA: I've watched other people make it.

[12:25] IA: I wish I could have spoken to them before they died to find out.

[12:25] VM: If you had +o +hough, wha+ would you choose?

[12:25] IA: But alas, nobody ever thinks of that.

[12:26] VM: If your life was on +h eline, would you denounce who you were +o live ano+her nigh+?

[12:26] IA: Oh, probably. Depends on what kind of death I was being threatened with, though.

[12:26] IA: And how old I was at the time.

[12:27] VM: Wha+ abou+ righ+ now? You +urned +he corner and someone demanded you +o do i+ or you die?

[12:27] VM: And wha+, you're a clown, righ+? You're wi+h clowns?

[12:27] VM: So le+'s say you ge+ clubbed +o dea+h!

[12:27] IA: Oh, no, I just surround myself with people who wear facepaint for no reason.

[12:28] IA: Hmmm.

[12:28] IA: That would take an awfully long time and be very boring.

[12:28] IA: I suppose I would renounce.

[12:28] IA: I can always become someone else. That might be fun.

[12:29] IA: What would you do, Finfin?

[12:29] VM: Why would I choose any+hing o+her +han life?

[12:29] VM: Labels and lies are +emporary.

[12:29] VM: You know wha+ isn'+?

[12:30] VM: Dea+h.

[12:30] IA: I could argue that point, but that's all theoretical anyway. Generally it's permanent, true.

[12:31] IA: Unless you come back as a ghost, but from the lowbloods I've talked to, that hardly counts.

[12:33] VM: Exac+ly!

[12:33] VM: So your ideals of 's+icking +o who you are' seems a bi+ shor+sigh+ed, don'+ you agree?

[12:34] VM: Oh, sure, in a perfec+ world everyone can be wha+ +hey ac+ually are, bu+ ou+liers are looked down on and frequen+ly forced +o fi+ in.

[12:35] VM: +he hypo+he+ical of being culled if you don'+ conform is a bi+ of an exaggera+ion of wha+ mos+ +rolls run in+o, bu+ +he concep+ is +he same, don'+ you +hink?

[12:35] IA: Why should I agree? It's an ideal, not a life plan.

[12:35] IA: Silly Finfin.

[12:35] VM: If your life is easier by fi++ing in, why no+ go wi+h +he flow?

[12:35] VM: Ideals rarely work in +he real world.

[12:36] IA: Oh, I don't know, the ideal of 'the messiahs' will is for us to control the lowbloods with dreams and subjugation' works well.

[12:36] IA: Careful, there, you forgot what an ideal is.

[12:37] VM: Are you sure?

[12:37] IA: As a nice blanket statement, certainly.

[12:37] VM: If you fla+ ou+ goregle +he meaning of ideal, one of +he defini+ions are 'exis+ing only in +eh imagina+ion, desirable or perfec+ bu+ no+ likely +o become a reali+y'

[12:37] VM: +ha+'s no+ an ideal, +he messiah's will.

[12:37] VM: +ha+'s simply jus+ how +he world is.

[12:38] IA: Really, we're getting into goregle? How pedantic. Clearly you don't know doctrine.

[12:39] IA: According to it, we are all products of the messiahs' imagination. Literal crystallized ideas.

[12:39] IA: So it's a matter of perspective.

[12:39] IA: As impractical as an ideal may be, that doesn't mean it can't work.

[12:39] VM: Ideas and ideals are differen+!

[12:39] IA: Simply that in many scenarios it doesn't.

[12:39] IA: Are they so? Every idea has an ideal at the heart of it.

[12:40] IA: Some type of desire.

[12:40] IA: Some dream of how things should be.

[12:40] IA: I would know.

[12:40] IA: I make dreams.

[12:40] VM: Mm, no, I'll have +o kindly disagree.

[12:41] IA: Kind or unkind, it makes no difference to me.

[12:41] IA: Just don't be boring.

[12:41] VM: I have seen some people wi+h some really, really, //really// dumb ideas.

[12:41] IA: Of course.

[12:41] VM: WI+h no ideal a+ +he cen+er of i+ all, or even a desire on occasion.

[12:41] IA: And there are no dumb ideals?

[12:41] VM: I unders+and +he sen+imen+ you're ge++ing a+ +hough.

[12:41] IA: Silly Finfin.

[12:41] VM: Oh, +here are absolu+ely dumb ideals.

[12:42] VM: bu+ dumb ideas don'+ mean +here's a dumb ideal a+ +he cen+er of i+ all.

[12:42] IA: Perhaps, but it hardly matters if they can't work.

[12:43] VM: Maybe no+ in +he discussion of whe+her or no+ an idea can be good or bad, bu+ in +he discussion on wha+'s an ideal and wha+ isn'+, well. I+ hardly ma++ers, does i+?

[12:44] IA: It can always matter with the right perspective.

[12:45] IA: Though from mine at this moment, what matters most is signing off and doing some shopping. Ta for now, Finfin.

[12:45] -- immaculateApathy [IA] ceased pestering voluntoldMilitia [VM] at 00:45 --

#skegulium #VM is their Valtin #IA is my Plaske #Plaske Wilhem

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