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mayberaspberrywrites · 2 years ago

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No One But You | Dehya x Reader | SAGAU

A/N: Your girl just got Dehya yesterday, and just had to write a fic in celebration. This is my first angst. Be nice you goofy goobers

P.S.: ...I ran out of Sand Grease Pupas :(

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Reader: Gender Neutral

Warnings: Angsty

SAGAU!!!

Summary: Dehya fears that you won't want to pull for her after the leaks and kit reviews. You prove her wrong.

The city spoke in hushed whispers upon her arrival. The whispers ranged from pure disgust to pity. To Dehya, it all felt horrible.

"There she is!"

"Didn't you hear? Her kit was leaked."

"Pathetic."

"What will the players think about this?"

Of course she'd also known the moment her kit dropped. She herself felt anger towards the developers for the way she'd been wronged. What she didn't expect, however, was for everyone else to find out about it. "Tsk…" Despite the backlash, the flame mane managed to keep herself together.

That only lasted so long.

Each day felt worse. She continued with her mercenary duties as normal, but at the end of each day, she felt herself break more and more.

It began to affect her battle performance as well, something that did not go unnoticed by her fellow mercenaries.

And then her banner dropped. She had high hopes that you'd pull for her regardless of the things you'd heard. As she sat on her bed, she thought back to all the things you'd said.

From the moment she was leaked, you were ecstatic.

"She's so pretty!"

Dehya smiled to herself at the fond memory.

"Do we know her name yet?" You asked your friend, your primary source of information. "They're saying her name is 'Dehya.'" Your friend responded.

"Dehya…." What a pretty name, you'd thought to yourself.

You were joyful the moment her npc version appeared in the game. Her lines were the only dialogue you didn't skip.

From that day forward, you told yourself you'd pull for her. You took in all the information about her that you could. You sat through the debates on whether she'd be a 4 star or a 5 star. It didn't matter to you, all you knew was that she was going to be yours.

That didn't mean you weren't overjoyed when it was confirmed she was a 5 star. "Ha! I told you so!" You teased your friend, who playfully rolled their eyes. "Fine, you win. It's going to be harder to get her now, I hope you know that." You shrugged it off. "I don't care how many wishes it takes. She will be mine."

And then came the day everything began crumbling down.

"Credible leakers have confirmed that Dehya will be on the standard banner!"

She heard the audio all the way from another app on your phone. What would you think of this?

"It can't be that bad. Besides, I wouldn't mind losing my 50/50 to Dehya." You reasoned.

Dehya breathed a sigh of relief. She knew you mained one of the standard characters already, but she didn't know how you'd feel about her now.

And it only got worse from there. The talk of the city began. It was nothing all that bad, at first, just a few apologies here and there.

"I'm sorry, Dehya. But look on the bright side…"

"Poor girl."

"Standard…she's going to be weak."

To her, it didn't matter. All she cared about was your opinion on her. However, the comments made her wonder if you'd be swayed.

What if she decides I'm not good enough? If I don't do enough damage, she might choose someone else over me…" She shook the nasty thoughts out of her head. No. I know my creator. They would never.

Dehya suddenly snapped back to the present. She was now laying down, curled into her blankets. She felt her eyes moisten. No. I'm stronger than this. I can't let the creator down. She sat up once more, staring into the mirror across from her bed. Weak. Pathetic.

They can say all they want. I might be physically weaker than the others, but I won't let them break down my mental state too.

From that day forward, she made it a habit to train harder. To compliment you more. To give you a reason to consider her.

"Look, she just winked!" You exclaimed, pointing at her. "What? She didn't wink for me though?" Your friend, who was doing the same quest, showed you their screen. "Mm…must be a bug." They concluded.

But You knew better.

And then the day of the livestream arrived. You preferred not to believe leaked banners, as you'd been fooled before. And alas, the banners were different from the leaked ones.

"Phase One will be…Cyno and Dehya!"

You were quiet. Too quiet. Dehya began to worry. She knew that her kit was nothing compared to Cyno's.

"Phase Two will be…Shenhe and Ayaka!" The video announced. "Haha, good thing I don't need either of them." You said, continuing the video.

Dehya continued to listen in on the rest of the video, but her mind became clouded halfway through. You never said anything about Cyno. She bit her lip as she pondered, the video quickly becoming background noise to her thoughts.

You never said you didn't want Cyno.

…And you never said you wanted me.

She clicked her tongue in frustration. Was she still not enough? She had to ensure that you still wanted her.

So she amped up her efforts.

She sent you mail. She never put her name on it. That would seem too desperate, she thought. On the day that her banner dropped, she mailed you 600 primos under the guise of maintenance. Attached to the 'maintenance rewards' were little trinkets, some that she thought would remind you of her.

To her delight, the developers decided to hand out 1 intertwined fate per archon quest. "If we do the math…that's 21, excluding the newest quest." She said to herself. "Plus what I sent…"

Unfortunately, your luck did not cooperate. Out of all of the pulls, your best item was a Bennett constellation.

"Bummer. Oh well." You closed the game, much to Dehya's distress. She still hoped that the day would come.

But then the whispers began again, this time while she was sitting outside the local tavern.

"Didn't you hear? The creator's considering pulling for Cyno instead!"

"He's the better option anyway, at least he can deal damage." One snickered.

She put down her glass, and breathed out a deep sigh before jumping when she felt a touch on her shoulder.

"Don't listen to them. I know she wants you more than anything." A familiar voice spoke. Dehya turned her head to be faced with the one and only General Mahamatra Cyno. She laughed bitterly. "Easy for you to say, General. This patch is in your favor."

Cyno crossed his arms, staring down at Dehya. "I mean it. Don't let it bother you."

"Yeah. Whatever." She smiled lightly. Despite their current rivalry between banners, Cyno was never hostile towards her. "It doesn't bother me any."

…I'll try to keep that in mind.

She waited. She waited for days, and she was starting to lose hope. She'd heard you talking to your friend again.

"My feed is full of Dehya showcases now. She doesn't hit very high damage at all." You'd said.

Ouch.

"I suggest that you consider pulling for Cyno or waiting for a good banner to roll around."

"Hmm."

By then, she'd tuned out. It's fine. Life goes on after all.

And there she stood. She felt the tears falling down her cheeks as she made no attempt to wipe them.

"Archons…now my makeup is messed up." She weeped to herself.

And then she fell to her knees.

But then she felt a warmth surging around her. She opened her eyes, immediately covering her eyes to prevent being blinded by the light.

Wh…what's going on?!

She heard your voice in the distance.

"OH MY GOD OH MY GOD! IT'S GOLD!" You squealed, watching the screen intensely.

There's no way…

Dehya felt as though she was flying. Her eyes widened as she finally broke through her dark thoughts.

You wanted her?

You actually wanted her.

Her splash art displayed on your screen as you shrieked with joy.

"Dehya! You're finally home!"

—

A little while later, after you fell asleep, the game transferred your body into Teyvat. This had happened on many different occasions at random. You weren't afraid anymore.

After searching for some time, you found Dehya standing by herself. She wasn't hiding her tears any longer. You quietly stood behind her, not wanting to scare her.

You should've known that a mercenary's senses were stronger than that. She sensed your power.

"I heard it all, you know." She stared down, willing herself to stay strong. "The things they said about me. Normally, I wouldn't care, but…" She balled up her fists, taking a deep breath before shakily exhaling.

"...You don't hate me?" She asked, slowly turning to face you, while still holding her head down. You softly cupped her cheek, lifting it up. Her eyes were glossy, and her cheeks were stained with tear streaks. You smiled affectionately, staring directly into her sapphire eyes. "I could never hate you, my dear." You pulled her into a tight hug. After a few heartbeats, she finally laid her head on your shoulder.

"I…never wanted anyone to see me like this." She sniffled, briefly lifting her head up and wiping away her tears, further smudging her eyeliner. "Especially not you." I look pathetic.

You shushed her softly. "Lovely, it's okay to cry. It doesn't make you weak." You hugged her harder.

Damn, she has some back muscles. No, no, not the time.

"Even after everything they said? You still wanted me?" Why didn't you listen to them? They were right.

"I've never cared all that much about the 'meta'."

You rubbed soothing circles into her back as you spoke quietly. "When I saw you for the first time. I knew I knew I had to have you."

"But what about what your friend said? They were right, Y'know. There are better options than me." You scoffed, smiling. "Don't worry about them. They're just a goofball. Dehya chuckled to herself before taking a long breath in. You pulled back from the hug, still holding her by the shoulders. For a moment, you two stared into each other's eyes. Dehya wished it would have lasted a little longer. "Chin up, Flame Mane. You and I have much to do together." You squeezed her shoulders.

She's so happy you didn't give up on her.

—

Bonus:

You were now playing from your computer. You were testing out your new main Dehya’s damage. After all of your combined hard work, she was finally level 90 and triple crowned.

"Wow…that IS some mid damage."

"HEY!" She bit back playfully.

"I'm joking, I'm joking! You did well for your first showcase. How about we grab some food to celebrate?"

"Haha. Sounds good, my stomach is hitting my backbone!" Dehya jested.

"Have you ever had sticky honey roast before? It's pretty good." You suggested.

"Hm, never heard of it. I'll bite."

Dehya looked on towards Sumeru City. Let's continue our adventure tomorrow, creator. You and I have a long road ahead of us.

—

#dehya genshin #dehya #dehya x reader #genshin impact #genshin #sagau #dehya fluff #dehya angst

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transgenderteensurvivalguide · 1 year ago

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Pls help this is very urgent, I don't feel comfortable nor feel safe going to either women or men's lockeroom can I like find some way around that like use the nurses bathroom or aomwthing??

Lee says:

When I was in high school, I brought my clothes with me and changed in the regular bathrooms instead of the open changing area in the gym locker room.

You may have to keep your PE clothing and sneakers in your locker room locker if you don’t have room for them in your normal hallway locker or backpack, which would mean you’d have to enter the locker room, get your items, and then leave.

So if you don’t think it’ll get you in trouble, just get your clothes from wherever they’re stored and then change in the nearest bathroom without even asking the teacher.

If your school has a gender neutral bathroom, you might have better luck changing in there, even if it’s a bit further away than the nearest gendered bathroom is.

But if you’re out as trans, you could explain that you’ll need privacy to your gym teacher, and ask them to be allowed to change elsewhere, like in the nurse’s office bathroom, and that way you can get informal permission to not change in the locker room and won’t be marked as late.

If you don’t want to out yourself, you can tell your teacher that you have anxiety about changing in the gendered locker rooms and not mention the trans thing at all.

If you don’t think your teacher would be open to making informal accommodations for you, or you asked your teacher and they said no, speak to the guidance councilor or whatever school official is in charge of creating formal accommodation plans and see if you’re able to persuade them.

Whether you reach out to a trusted teacher, school counselor, or administrator, explain your concerns about using the gender-specific locker rooms and express your need for a safe alternative. Make sure you explain why you feel unsafe in detail and provide any examples of incidents that would support your concerns. They're more likely to respond if it's presented as a safety issue (and you said it was!) instead of just a personal preference.

If you do go to the top and ask a school official, you an also ask if there are any single-occupancy staff restrooms that you could use. That isn't ideal for you or the school but you can always ask!

Sometimes, having a written request can make the process more formal and may be taken more seriously. It also provides a record of your request, so if you are talking to school officials get everything on paper or in email.

If your parents are supportive, they can back you up and write a note to help excuse you. When you speak with them about this issue, be clear about why the current situation is not working for you and what would make you feel safer because they might not realize how important it is to you.

If even a parent's note doesn't help, familiarize yourself with any non-discrimination policies your school or workplace may have. Many institutions in liberal-leaning have policies in place to accommodate individuals who do not feel comfortable in gender-specific spaces, so you may be able to point at a policy and get backup that way.

And depending on your location, there may be laws that protect your right to safe and comfortable accommodations. Knowing these can help when discussing your needs with officials.

It's also important to know if a law isn't in your favor because then you will have more success just doing it instead of asking because if the school gives you permission they may get in trouble so they might be trying to avoid that. Organizations like the ACLU or local LGBTQ+ advocacy groups can sometimes provide guidance or intervene in situations where individuals are being denied reasonable accommodations, but that can be hard to do if you have unsupportive parents.

Remember, your comfort and safety are paramount, and you have the right to access facilities where you feel secure. Don't hesitate to advocate for yourself, and seek out allies like other trans people at your school or members of the GSA club who can support you through this process. They may have experience with similar situations and can offer advice or advocate on your behalf.

If you have a supportive friend who will stand up for you and come to the bathroom with you or change together with you in the locker room, that can be a great way to plan for your safety until you're able to access alternative facilities. I would honestly consider that to be your first step to help you stay safe while you work everything out.

Finally, it's clear that situations like these can be stressful! Consider speaking with a school counselor (keeping in mind the requirements of mandated reporting) or a therapist for support.

Followers, any tips for anon?

#Lee says #schools #trans #bathrooms #locker rooms #school

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pleaseitsjustrae0nly · 1 year ago

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if you know about the permanent anacondrai Kai au can you please do a Kai X reader where the reader comfort Kai about what happened at the tournament of elements like the reader says that Kai was brave to take on the mark of the anacondrai to trick Chen and the reader and Kai end up cuddling at the end with the reader saying that they love him no matter what he is (this is both comfort and fluff and the only people in this are the reader and Kai the others are just mentioned and the reader was not at the tournament of elements nya was the one that told the reader about what happened Kai was in his room when the reader come to convert him)

I never knew about the permanent anacondrai au! So the research might kill me, but here you go!

Btw you didn't mention what reader you wanted so I made it gender neutral, hope that's okay!

How can you love a beast like me?

A Kai x gn!reader, uses they/them. Just pure comfort and fluff!

It had been a week since the incident at Chen's Island. The anacondrai's had been banished, and everything was fine. But one thing wasn't, and that was Kai. He had taken the responsibility in tricking Chen and saving his friends, he bore the mark of the anacondrai in order to earn his trust. But now, he was permanently stuck as an anacondrai snake.

He hasn't talked to you since the incident, which worried you. Kai Smith, the man or rather snake whom you loved wasn't responding to your calls or messages. Nya had informed you of what happened and you were surprised at how brave Kai was, but he wasn't brave enough to face you...

You gave him another week, but still nothing. Your messages were being left on seen and the calls would lead to voicemail immediately. You wanted to give him all the time in the world but he hasn't said anything! No update on how he's doing, if he's sick, or if he just needs more time.

Hell, even his friends didn't know how he was doing, apparently he went off somewhere. The only person who knew where he was, was Zane. But he promised to not say anything on behalf of his now snake friend.

But it's been bothering you, you wondered if you could get it out of the nindroid's mouth in order to find your beloved boyfriend. It took a lot, a whole week. he finally caved, and gave you the coordinates. He asked you not to tell him, for he wanted to apologize to Kai himself.

.・゜゜・.・゜゜・✿.・゜゜・.・゜゜・

"Kai! It's me!" You said, ringing the doorbell. You could hear some shuffling, but it stopped at the door. "I... know you probably still won't talk to me, but we've been worried sick! No one has heard from you in weeks..."

Silence was present, "Nya's starting to think she's a bad sister, but she understands you want to be alone." you pressed you forehead and hand against the wooden door. "We just want an update on how your doing, nothing too extravagant, just a simple, small sentence."

You could hear a small sniffle behind the door, "Just know, we all love you. No matter what you are, you will always be Kai Smith, the older brother to Nya Smith, the master of fire, and my the love of my life." you started tearing up, you then lifted your head and started walking back to your vehicle. But before you could open your door, you heard a small weak 'wait...'

"Don't go... not yet." he was looking at the ground, and this was the first time you saw him in his snake form. His hair was the same, but his skin was adorned with purple scales... "I... well, I-" he stuttered, he didn't know what to tell you.

"Can I come inside?" you ask, giving him a small smile, "...sure." he moved out of the door way and deeper into the home. The silence was loud, but once you sat next to him on the couch that had layers of blankets and pillows on it, he began to cry on you. You hugged him, patting his hair and rubbing his back. "It's okay Kai... let it all out."

"How do you still love me? *sniff* how can you?" he muffled through your shoulder. "Kai... you're still the same man I fell in love with all those years ago. And I told you already...

No matter what you are, you will always be Kai Smith."

"But... I'm a beast! A monster... people look at me in horror... How could you still love me, I'm a beast."

"Then you will be my beast."

the day ended in you both cuddling, you giving him all the love and care that he needed all those weeks of being alone. You kissed him, comforted him, and reassured him that no matter what, he his Kai Smith, the master of fire, a brother, and your boyfriend.

#◈justrae◈#fluff #fluffy #ninjago #gn!reader #kai smith #permanent anacondrai #au #kai x reader #this was nice to write #nya smith #zane julien #lloyd garmadon #cole brookstone #jay walker #master wu #love #comfort #reassurance

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earthling-wolf · 1 month ago

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What D&D Alignment is Jenna Begay from Echo?

if you don't know the details of this project, check here

What D&D Alignment are the characters in Echo?

Jenna is a kit fox currently working on a degree in Psychology, and the only female romance option in the game, she is mostly self-serving but also happy to help those she sees as friends, she's very self-disciplined but has prankster tendencies, I give her the starting alignment of TRUE NEUTRAL

PROLOGUE

"Jenna arrives in Echo alongside Chase and TJ and reunites with the rest of their friends. She accompanies the group to Southwest Adventures on Sunday, where she splits off with Leo and Flynn to enjoy the rides. Later on, she and Leo compete at various carnival games, all of which she triumphs in by putting her experience at the state fair to use. During this time, Chase may either explain that he is bisexual or allow her to go on believing that he is gay, which affects their interactions on her route later on. Jenna also encourages Leo and Chase to talk about their relationship rather than letting it hang over the group for the rest of their trip."

NEUTRAL GOOD for the bonding, LAWFUL EVIL for the carnival games since as she reveals at the end of her route this and her getting with Chase later on her route were motivated by a desire to rile up Leo and she used Chase as a prop in the process, CHAOTIC GOOD for forcing Chase and Leo to clear the air

"When Flynn snaps at the group on Monday, Jenna goes after Leo in an attempt to calm him down. If Chase chooses to follow them, he will find her unsuccessfully trying to reason with him before storming off and encouraging Chase to give it a shot."

NEUTRAL GOOD

JENNA'S ROUTE

"If Chase decides to stay with Jenna rather than talk to Leo, they track down TJ and manage to cheer him up somewhat. They then promise to go hiking with him the next day. During the hike, Jenna discusses her family and plans with Chase, as well as her childhood experiences with her "guardian angel." Afterward, the three visit the diner and are joined by Leo, who informs them of his plans to hold a party for Carl's birthday."

NEUTRAL GOOD

"On Wednesday Jenna accompanies the group to the mall in search of presents for Carl, during which she may lightly flirt with Chase if he told her he is bisexual. Jenna scolds Leo for his advances toward Chase and embarrasses him once again by winning a prize for Carl's birthday from a claw machine he had been struggling with. The group then heads to Carl's house for the party, with Jenna being boosted through the window by Chase to let the rest of the group in when the ram does not answer. Shortly after, the group realizes Carl is missing and Jenna discovers his phone with a photo of a mysterious creature on it."

NEUTRAL GOOD for the gift, LAWFUL EVIL for humiliating Leo for the reasons stated above, CHAOTIC GOOD for breaking into Carl's house

"Jenna takes charge during the search for Carl, immediately informing his parents and the police of the situation and working with the others to coordinate search efforts. Jenna stays at the mansion as a sort of "home base" for the rest of the day, eventually going out to search by herself very early the next morning. She is accompanied by Chase as the pair go to talk to Duke. Along the way, she tells Chase about her grandmother and shares her thoughts on Leo's recent behavior as well as Echo itself, to which Chase can respond in more positive or negative ways. Afterward, the pair return to the mansion, where they have sex if Chase has told her he is bisexual."

LAWFUL GOOD for the search efforts, NEUTRAL GOOD for bonding

"Later that day, Jenna goes with Flynn and Chase to talk to Jeremy and his friends, encountering Heather in the process. Depending on Chase's interactions with her the previous night, she may either confront Heather about their shared past or choose to move past it. Regardless, after hearing Jeremy's story the group heads back to the hotel for the night, where Chase shares a bed with her (potentially in a romantic manner). That night, she dreams about her grandma as a noble knight who chooses to spare a baby dragon rather than kill it."

regarding the different ways she treats Heather in the bad and good ends, CHAOTIC EVIL and LAWFUL GOOD respectively

"After getting breakfast Jenna returns to the hotel to help Chase apply first aid to an injured Leo, where she and the wolf argue about her manipulative behavior before the appearance of a shadowy version of Chase. Immediately after, the three find themselves attacked and abducted by Brian. She is chained to a radiator in the bear's trailer and forced to watch as Duke interrogates Chase, Carl (who has been held in the trailer throughout the week) is taken away by Jeremy and Clint, while Micha, Chase, and Leo are tortured by Brian. The group is saved by the timely appearance of Jenna's "guardian angel," who seemingly kills Brian and frees Micha."

2x NEUTRAL GOOD for applying first aid to Leo

"After escaping the trailer, the group comes across a mysterious van that prompts Leo to share his past with Micha. Jenna is disgusted by these revelations and makes it to escape town as soon as possible her main goal. If Chase's responses toward her while walking together on Thursday morning were more negative, her behavior becomes increasingly short-tempered and vengeful, whereas more positive responses lead her to be more patient and accepting (with Sam even comparing her to Cynthia). The group then reunites with Flynn and TJ and enters Heather's house, where they find Carl and a hysteric Heather."

2x NEUTRAL either way

"If Chase has encouraged Jenna's more jaded worldview, she will get Flynn to shoot Heather and harshly condemn the rest of the group. She then splits off on her own after stealing Heather's dam operating guide and drives to the dam, where she opens up the floodgates and floods Echo. On this path, Jenna seems to hear odd voices that inspire her erratic behavior."

2x LAWFUL EVIL for Heather, 2x CHAOTIC EVIL for the dam

"If Chase has been more positive in talking with Jenna however, she (if chosen over Micha) will talk Heather down and encourage the group to follow the cat to the dam to stop her from flooding the town herself. Upon arriving, Jenna manages to reason with Heather regarding the people in her life who do care about her and stops her from opening the floodgates, narrowly saving Heather from her approaching "guardian angel" in the process."

2x NEUTRAL GOOD and 2x LAWFUL GOOD for the first and second confrontations with Heather respectively

"Afterward, Jenna accompanies the group to a diner in Payton where she apologizes and admits to her manipulation of others and promises to strive toward being a better and more self-aware friend, starting by taking a gap year to reconcile with her own biases before departing for Weston. If Chase has engaged in a romantic relationship with her, she will further apologize for using him to hurt Leo and encourage him to ask her out genuinely later on. She then asks a supposedly unpossessed Chase to pick a song on the jukebox as the route ends."

LAWFUL GOOD

CARL'S ROUTE

"Jenna plays a key role on Carl's route, albeit in physical form only. She first appears at Carl's birthday party on Wednesday, where she aggressively confronts him for avoiding the majority of the party and angrily points out his privilege compared to her upbringing. Chase notes this as being out of character for her, which proves to be an astute observation later on."

CHAOTIC EVIL for being a jerk to Carl

"Jenna accompanies the group to Lake Emma on Saturday in an attempt to move past Sydney's death, only for things to go awry when Chase nearly drowns and mass hysteria breaks out across Echo. Jenna attempts to track down TJ, who is frantic and seemingly hallucinating, only to end up trapped in a hallucinatory version of the Hendricks Mansion alongside Carl, Chase, and Raven."

2x LAWFUL GOOD for Lake Emma, 2x NEUTRAL GOOD for going after TJ

"As the group attempts to escape the distorted Mansion, they can piece together that the key to their escape lies in resolving a mysterious "game" being conducted between the spirits of James Hendricks I and John Begay, the ancestors of Carl and Jenna. On top of this, the spirits have possessed the bodies of their respective descendants, leading to Jenna's actions throughout the rest of the route being manipulated by John Begay. While under John's influence, Jenna has little concern for her friends and gets extremely aggressive with them as John attempts to prove his innocence in the crimes of his past. She also does not seem to process any danger to herself, such as brushing off an experience in which she is nearly hung."

"Despite Chase and Carl attempting to break Jenna of her possession, she is unable to fight John off and only comes to her senses for brief moments throughout the night. This eventually culminates in John (in Jenna's body) attempting to kill Carl, only for Chase to fight her off and temporarily split ways with her and Raven. Afterward, depending on whether or not Carl fought off his possession earlier in the night, Jenna is either murdered by a James-possessed Carl or freed of her possession after Chase promises to bring the truth of John's story to light."

no alignment due to possession

"In Carl's good ending, Jenna stays close friends with those who survived the Hendricks Mansion alongside her and processes the trauma of the night by enrolling in Weston as planned. There, she turns her studies toward the phenomenon of shared psychosis and denies any paranormal aspects of the incident. Though her school career does not stagnate as a result of her time in Echo, Jenna is left haunted by her actions and the harm she brought to her friends throughout the night."

NEUTRAL GOOD

LEO'S ROUTE

"Jenna's role on Leo's route is somewhat minimal. She goes shopping with Chase, Leo, and TJ on Tuesday and gets in a race with Leo where she embarrasses him in front of Chase by "proving" herself as the ideal companion in an apocalypse. She also attends Carl's birthday party the following day, being boosted through the window by Leo to let the rest of the group into the mansion when Carl proves to be absent."

LAWFUL EVIL for being a dick to Leo and using Chase to do so, CHAOTIC GOOD for breaking into Carl's house

"Afterward, Jenna remains absent for the majority of the route having fallen for Leo's texts explaining that Chase would prefer to be alone with him. She presumably goes hiking with TJ and works on her homework before the mass hysteria takes hold of the town on Saturday. At some point on Sunday, Jenna manages to make her way to the area near Leo's house while experiencing unknown hallucinations that put her on edge. She is later found by Kudzu and Chase and returns to her senses, albeit shaken. Afterward, she escapes town with the rest of the group by hopping aboard a passing train en route to Payton."

2x NEUTRAL

TJ'S ROUTE

"Jenna spends the majority of TJ's route working on homework back at the hotel. She attends Carl's birthday party on Wednesday and is boosted through the window by Leo to open the door, though the gathering is short-lived when Carl cannot initially be found. She joins Chase, TJ, and Carl on Sydney's alleged final treasure hunt, hoping to help TJ gain closure. When Carl breaks his ankle, Jenna accompanies him to the hospital and then goes to stay with a friend in Payton for the remainder of the route, seemingly disgusted with her friends' actions."

CHAOTIC GOOD for breaking into Carl's house, 3x LAWFUL NEUTRAL for everything else

FLYNN'S ROUTE

"Jenna spends much of Flynn's route attempting to defend TJ from Flynn's interrogation. She rebuffs his attempts to talk with TJ on Tuesday and tells him to apologize for his behavior before speaking to them again. She attends Carl's birthday party on Wednesday and spends much of the rest of the following week working on homework or hanging out with TJ and Leo. On Thursday night, she and TJ hear Clint shouting outside their hotel room and she calls the cops, only for her police report to be dismissed."

NEUTRAL GOOD

"On Friday, Jenna and the rest of the group except Flynn meet up and have a barbecue near Chase's former house. If Chase chooses to dance with TJ and Jenna during the get-together, Chase steps on Jenna's foot and she spends the rest of the route walking with a limp. Later at the motel, Jenna mentions to Chase that she saw the Socket Man, which she calls her "guardian angel," many times while she was under stress throughout her early childhood, and explains that those memories eventually encouraged her to pursue psychology."

NEUTRAL GOOD

"When Flynn attempts to interrogate TJ about Sydney's death on Saturday, Jenna (having been told of Flynn's plan to do so by Chase) arrives and angrily confronts him about his behavior. When Chase falsely accuses Flynn of threatening TJ with violence she seems repulsed by the entire situation, and after TJ reveals Chase’s role in Sydney's death Chase describes Jenna as more troubled than she’s looked in years. She then returns to Flynn's house with the rest of the group sans Chase as the Hysteria begins to break out across town."

2x NEUTRAL GOOD

"At Flynn's house, the group tries to process the implications of TJ’s confession, which Jenna seems open to believing. Jenna may be forced to reason with an increasingly irrational Leo who is furious at Flynn and unwilling to accept Chase’s guilt, depending on how Chase treated him earlier in the route. When Jenna catches Flynn and Carl sharing a tender hug in Flynn’s room, she is wryly delighted by the prospect of a romance between them, and later tells Flynn she is happy for them. After TJ gives another account of the monster he saw the day Sydney died, Jenna is shocked to realize that it matches the "guardian angel" she saw throughout her childhood, and that most of the others have seen it as well."

2x NEUTRAL GOOD

"Jenna accompanies the group as they return to Town Hall to learn more about the mass hysteria affecting Echo and manage to rescue Chase from a mob of townspeople incited by Duke. As they try to drive out of Echo, Jenna once again comes face to face with her "guardian angel" after it smashes through the car's back window, and she fires Duke's gun at it to no effect. After she and the rest of the group are teleported to Lake Emma by the creature and escape from their sinking vehicle, they regroup on the shore and decide to head for Leo's house. She separates from Flynn and is not seen for the rest of the route, but she presumably escapes Echo after the events of the night."

2x NEUTRAL

"After Flynn's transformation into the Socket Man, he appears in the closet of a very young Jenna. This marks the beginning of her sightings of her "guardian angel." The route closes on Jenna asking the creature if it is real, to which it slowly shakes its head."

no alignment

FINAL SCORE: NEUTRAL GOOD leaning LAWFUL GOOD

#Echo VN #DnD Alignments #Jenna Begay #True Neutral #Neutral Good #Lawful Good

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sevilemar · 8 months ago

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Hello, Hope you're having a good day/night ahead. I'm the anon who sent that ask about the secondaries.

Hello nonny, I am having a good day reading all about Eberron's Fairhaven, painting NPC minis, and drawing train compartment maps in preparation for our DnD session tomorrow.

Firstly, the shc quiz sorts me into snake primary, and badger secondary. I suspect i may have burned and unburned or am currently burnt. i also suspect that i may have adhd.

Thank you for the information, let's see what the community can add to this *cracks knuckles* (and by this I don't only mean me, because if anyone wants to chime in, please feel free. I don't usually do this anymore, and haven't done it much in general).

The thing where the quiz says, 'all has gone to shit what do you do?' i don't know each time i imagine a hypothetical situation - i just know what to do - either by some prior knowledge or a miraculous room/situation reading

I don't actually remember the question, but it has been some years since I last took the test^^. There is a reason why hypotheticals are only useful to a certain extend, though. Real stories, preferably about small every-day stuff, are much better for sorting someone in general.

I also analyse things all the time, like all the time. its kind of a habit. I'm having a conversation? i'm analysing what i'm saying, what your reaction and answers are, and responding based on what you say.

It kind of sounds birdy, but I know a few people who do this, too, and I don't think they are all bird secondary. I do it, and I don't think I am a bird. I'm thinking more of 'learning/trying to improve social interactions', and/or 'having insecurities around social interactions' when I read it, which could happen regardless of secondaries. Could also be burning, as you said.

i'm not good at lying in the moment but if thought about at least once i can lie easily. makes me feel a liiittle icky - but not always & not if its for good reason.

Half a point against lion then, though feeling icky while lying is mostly about primaries.

Snake: I envy this secondary so effing much (at least, by the quiz's description), i want to be them! but also am in awe of how they seem to code switch shift and maintain that? and not grow tired of it? i would love to be able to do this, but i know i'm not capable of holding onto that for long, or at all.

Not feeling capable of doing something, saying it's tiring, can be burned language, where you do not feel at home with any secondarie's methods at all, and therefore they are all tiring. Or it can be one of the other secondaries admiring they do not experience in the same way. Only you can decide what it is, nonny.

But some of the notes of the description the quiz gives like, [maneuverability] i love this word there - i just - what a good word. beautiful word to describe how i sometimes feel i am & want to be.

I lack the context for the word atm, and I do not have the time to look it up. My best guess is that if you are not snake secondary, you might be on your way to acquiring a model because you admire what it represents. Or you are unburning a snake secondary. Again, you tell me, nonny.

[While a Snake secondary might find creative interpretations and presentations of the truth to be comforting and necessary] YES

I agree. Though not while talking to lion secondaries, and other people who value honesty above everything else. It is an interesting experience consciously trying to be in neutral for someone^^

I mostly just want to be this secondary, but i know i can't i'm not quick enough, or smart enough for this, it sounds exhausting and exhilarating at the same time.

OK, first things first. You do not need to be smart to be snake secondary, or quick necessarily. Shocker, I know ;)

Yes, this might be how others see us, or it might not, depending on if you are good at multiplayer or not. But in my experience, snake secs mostly do not see themselves thus. Not necessarily. We might have treasured social memories that go in this direction, but otherwise, we are just average and trying our best, just like everyone else.

Bird: I know i collect, but the quiz just makes it sound way more important than it is and i don't really do it like that - like, its not even recent info - this is info i collected when i was younger (im 20 now)

Hm, I think I do not really know what you mean by collect here. In my understanding, birds like to collect stuff/knowlegde/people/etc. not because they need them right now, not even necessarily because they might need them later, but just because it is fun, or their brain demands it.

For myself, I cannot stand to collect anything that I do not love or use, and 'I might need it later' is a pet peeve of mine. But I am not only a snake sec, I am also a minimalist, and I suspect this is far more of the latter than the former.

Let's say half a point for bird?

I don't think i build tools for specific situations either, i just go in, analyse what's going on, and just know what i can do to work on this

Sounds pretty situational to me.

i do like preparing for situations, a tiny prep a while before would help tons. Throw me in without prior warning, i'll panic a teensy bit and then adapt - by coming up with plans on the fly, but its a little stressful, but i will rise to the occasion.

Hm, maybe bird model? Although the way you say 'coming up with plans on the fly' and 'it's a little stressful' do make me think there's a bit more to the bird. Although the former can just be a phrasing issue, and the latter might be burned talk. Another half point for bird?

[When the only point of learning, preparing, or studying is because you want to? ] This i get so totally. I love learning.

I love learning, too, but only when there is a practical reason for it. I learned about group management while I was leading a group for some time. I learned about shading and colour theory when I started painting minis. I am re-learning music theory because I need it for my guitar practice, etc.

This might be just a me thing, or it might be a difference between snake and bird, I don't know.

Lion: [Lion secondaries are self-defined. Their integrity and their honesty is a deal with themselves, not others. ] This i so totally get.

A point for lion then.

[they act based on what they believe, who they are, and what they think is the right thing to do. ] not always, but yes, i do agree I'm quite direct i've been told, and honest. i can be this. and i don't mind being it - but not always - which makes me think this miight be a model? idk

Might be a model, or might be burning. I have seen this in some unburning lions I know, so could be both. But the way you phrased it ('I don't mind being it') feels more like a model or a performance to me.

I just love how lions get shit done.

Who doesn't?

like yes, go them! i wish i could do that and be less wishy-washy about it. i hesitate a lot.

Man, this reminds me so strongly of a currently unburning lion secondary I know. I give burned lion a big point for this, actually

And finally, Badger: The thought of me being a badger secondary - irritates me, annoys me, i don't want it - though i suspect i might be. i don't like it at all. i don't know why

Might be interesting for you to find out more about why you are so against it. I have the same kind of feelings about bird secondary, and though I have not come to a satisfying conclusion on it, the journey so far was very rewarding.

-My culture is quite a badger-secondary culture

Not just your culture, your family too as you describe later. Maybe it has something to do with your antipathy? ;)

[Badger Secondaries invest themselves into their world with service and support.] uhh no, i'd much rather be alone

I'd say you might be an introvert, which does not mean you couldn't be badger sec. But we count it against badger for the moment.

the quiz keeps giving me badger and i don't relate all that much i do wish it worked that way though - people you know coming to aid, reputation preceding you - the goals.

This definitely sounds like you have bad experiences with groups/communities, with being on the outside of them, etc. It also could be burned badger talk ('I wish it worked that way'). Maybe you'll find a reason for your burning if you get into it more? I wouldn't know, I am not a therapist.

[a Badger wants to show up. They want to work well and fairly. They want to achieve things honestly and stand on solid ground. ] i used to be this a lot? i still am, but its more ehhhhhh don't care, just get things done. i need it done.

Either you were unburned then and are burned now, or you had a model and it is burned now. Either way, this is 100% burned talk.

[They pour labor, time, and love into what they care about and those investments pay themselves back in time. ] No (this totally describes my mum, to an extent my dad, and my paternal grandmother by the way)

So not only is your culture badger sec, your family is, too. No wonder you have issues with this particular secondary, whether it is yours or not.

i also don't mind cutting corners - like the badger way sounds right, but also seems tiring. like, is there no better way. this - i can't- i did this all through most of school, and i'm now done with it.

This also is strong burned talk, either of a model or of your secondary.

How i deal w people: i do match their energy, and respond how i think they'd react well to, but also analysis, and observation.

Sounds fluid to me, with a nice bird model to help improve your interactions. Feels very familiar ;)

Also, if i've interacted with certain people under a specifc role, or they've seen me in a particular way for a long while - i struggle to be any way different with them, like i canNot. help.

Hm, interesting. I don't think it has to do with sorting much, though? At least for neurotypicals, putting people in specific roles and boxes is how we function socially, and fighting that requires constant effort. I think it happens to all of us all the time, and it is not a bad thing as long as you are fine with your assigned roles.

Can even be fun to play with it a little, you know? Shocking people mildly with hinting at other sides of you, and watching how they react.

Low stakes problem solving - cause secondary is the how- in game, unless i figure it out in a short while i go use the cheatsheet, i don't like to stress on just a game.

Sensible ;) And either burned, snake, or bird.

Difficult problem solving: take in info, understand everything. what do i know, how do i feel,what's the situation. if conflict between what needs to be done, and how i feel/what i feel/think is right - come to a compromise, and act. but do - if all thinky stuff fails go with gut.

You know, this rather sounds like lion to me, with the emphasis on acting and doing shit, and going with your gut. Could also be frustrated burned talk, because when nothing feels right, I at least tend to not do anything, and then after a while get frustrated and just do whatever to just do something.

that's all i can think of. Thank you, i hope this is enough for you to help me out. Do feel free to reorder this so its more helpful to you. Have a nice day! And sorry, for the long(er than i even expected) message, and for bothering you.

More burned talk, what with the bothering and all, or just cultural differences. It's not a bother; I wouldn't have said yes if I didn't wanted to crack my knuckles on this, and I appreciate you asking beforehand.

I think you are definitely burned secondary; there is just too much burned talk here for you not to be. It is difficult to say what is under it, but I get slightly liony vibes from it, or (and I am sorry to say it) also badger.

But I really do not know you enough to say if you once had a badger model and it burned because you couldn't live in it anymore and your lion wanted out, or if your badger got burned because it did not present in the right way to fit with the badger secondary expectations your family and culture had for you.

I do not know how to help you find out, or how to help you unburn your secondary. I only know that you sound like you could use a break, and I hope you get to have one. I definitely send some hugs and positive vibes your way.

#shc #sortinghatchats #ask answer #sort me

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aquadestinyswriting · 2 years ago

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Hello hello and happy STS (and late blorbo blursday)! If you don't mind, please classify your OCs according to the following: bimbo, mean bisexual, even meaner lesbian, she/they, he/they, token straight that's on thin ice, astrology bitch who has everyone's birth chart memorized, short king. Bonus points if you can explain why for each. :D (You are free to leave out any that do not apply to your OCs' friend group.)

Happy belated sts to you Jax, thank you for the question. I', sorry it took so long to respond, this was one I had to think about quite a bit before I could answer it. Under a readmore because there's a lot of categories and I have a bit to say about each one. I suspect you're going after the vibes more than the actual literal interpretation here, but some may be more literal than others.

Bimbo: I think the closest is maybe Kidri Toroksdottir, a character that will be showing up in The Trouble with Meredith series as one of Merri's younger friends. It's not that she's not intelligent, but she is lacking in the general common sense department.

Mean Bisexual: That'll be Thaddeus Darkhide by a mile. He's super snarky and 'tells it like it is' a lot. I think he's one of three wizard's tower characters who doesn't have unresolved trauma, so that bitchiness is all him just being an asshole. He is also canonically Bi, it just hasn't come up yet.

Even Meaner Lesbian: Since we're going with the vibes here, I'm electing Reginald Schreiber this particular title. His pettiness rivals the meanest of mean girls and it's not just that he's petty and mean; he is particularly underhanded about it. The man is all sweet smiles and pleasantries, while he viciously stabs you in the back with his words.

She/They: While I'd love to put Dwena here, this one has to go to the canonical, gender non-conforming from conception npc, Cece Lamore. Cece is one of those characters who was in the campaign and will only show up in my writing if she becomes relevant, but she fits this one so well I couldn't leave her out. While Cece is most likely a transwoman (the DM who created them wasn't very clear on the matter), I don't think they'd mind the gender neutral pronouns so much because they would probably take on a male identity if necessary to avoid the authorities who are currently on the hunt for them. Cece is one of those characters we loved to hate though and she was so much fun when she did show up.

He/They: I'm gonna go with Thazaar for this one. While he does use male pronouns for the sake of convenience while he's on the material plane, I reckon Thazaar is probably more agender than anything. If anyone wants to refer to him as anything else, he honestly won't mind. When Thazaar visits his grandfather and that side of the family though, he does present very differently because Celestials don't really care about the gender norms of the material plane.

Token Straight on Thin Ice: That'd be Laurence Tate, my husband's character. He's funny, helpful and kind, but honestly a bit of of an arrogant sod. He's on really thin ice for a bunch of different reasons that I won't go into because then this bit would be eight paragraphs long. And, yeah, I know for a fact that he is definitely straight.

astrology bitch who has everyone's birth chart memorized: This one's purely on the vibes (because I'm not sure he believes in Astrology); Snotgrut. Now, hear me out, Snotgrut loves information, especially if that information pertains to the people he hangs around with. It's his way of figuring out how to interact with the people he cares about. This is a goblin who will 'put-pocket' magic rings in peoples' pockets to keep an eye on them via scrying and usually doesn't tell anyone he's done it. I get the feeling (and I'll check with his original player) that he has full dossiers on everyone just so he doesn't get blindsided by seemingly random outbursts of emotion. If was into astrology, you bet he'd have full charts for every last one of his found family, would memorise them all and then use them to work out why, for example, someone's so pissy about something innocuous.

Short King: This one has to go to Felix. I'm sorry, but that little gnomish fellow just wins at being a decent man. He's not perfect, he does suffer from foot in mouth disease a lot and is very self-deprecating, but he's about as close as we're gonna get. He is Elowyn's first cheerleader, is kind, empathetic, stands up for what he believes in and will do anything to make sure the people he loves are happy and safe. He used his only Greater Wish spell, a gift given to him by the Gods to help in the final, climactic battle of the campaign, to make sure Meredith got to have her happy ending when she didn't even know if she'd just been made a widow not even a two months after she got married. I still get teary-eyed every time I think about that.

#storyteller saturday ask #sts #sts asks #answered ask #aquadestinyswriting #ttrpg fiction #titan fighting fantasy

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heartconnectsblog · 3 months ago

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The Do's and Don'ts of First Dates After Meeting Online

First dates can be nerve-wracking, especially when you’ve met someone online and are transitioning from digital conversations to an in-person meeting. Making a good impression is important, but so is staying true to yourself and ensuring that the date is enjoyable and safe for both parties. Here are the essential do’s and don’ts to keep in mind when heading into a first date after meeting someone online.

The Do’s

1. Do Be Yourself

It’s tempting to put your best foot forward by presenting an idealized version of yourself, but authenticity is key to building a genuine connection. Be honest about who you are, what you enjoy, and what you’re looking for in a relationship.

Why It’s Important: Being yourself sets the foundation for a relationship based on honesty and mutual respect. It also helps you find someone who appreciates you for who you truly are.

Dating Advice Online:

Share your real interests, passions, and values.

Don’t feel pressured to agree with everything the other person says; it’s okay to have different opinions.

Dress in a way that makes you feel comfortable and reflects your personality.

2. Do Choose a Safe and Comfortable Location

Safety should be a top priority when meeting someone for the first time. Choose a public, well-lit place where you feel comfortable and at ease.

Why It’s Important: A public location ensures that you’re in a safe environment, and it also provides a neutral setting where both parties can relax.

Dating Advice Online:

Opt for a coffee shop, casual restaurant, or park in a busy area.

Let a friend or family member know where you’ll be and who you’re meeting.

Plan your transportation to and from the date independently.

3. Do Keep the Conversation Balanced

Good conversation is key to a successful first date. Aim to keep the dialogue balanced by sharing about yourself while also asking questions and showing interest in the other person.

Why It’s Important: Balanced conversation helps build rapport and ensures that both parties feel heard and valued.

Dating Advice Online:

Ask open-ended questions that encourage the other person to share more about themselves.

Actively listen and respond thoughtfully to what they say.

Avoid dominating the conversation or steering it back to yourself too often.

4. Do Set Realistic Expectations

It’s important to approach a first date with realistic expectations. While it’s great to be optimistic, remember that first dates are just a starting point, and it may take time to build a connection.

Why It’s Important: Setting realistic expectations helps reduce pressure and allows the date to unfold naturally, without the need for immediate sparks or perfect compatibility.

Dating Advice Online:

Focus on enjoying the experience rather than worrying about the outcome.

Be open to getting to know the person without placing too much emphasis on where things might lead.

Give the relationship time to develop before making any judgments.

5. Do Be Respectful and Polite

Respect and politeness go a long way on a first date. Treat your date with kindness, listen to their opinions, and be considerate of their feelings.

Why It’s Important: Respectful behavior sets a positive tone for the date and demonstrates that you value the other person’s time and company.

Dating Advice Online:

Arrive on time and thank your date for meeting you.

Avoid interrupting them or dismissing their opinions, even if you disagree.

Be mindful of your language and avoid controversial or sensitive topics that could create tension.

The Don’ts

1. Don’t Overshare Personal Information

While it’s important to be open, oversharing too much personal information too soon can be overwhelming and potentially risky.

Why It’s Important: Maintaining some privacy on a first date protects your personal information and helps you establish boundaries as you get to know each other.

How to Avoid It:

Steer clear of discussing sensitive topics like finances, past relationships, or family issues.

Focus on lighter, more general topics that allow for comfortable conversation.

If the other person asks for information you’re not ready to share, it’s okay to politely decline.

2. Don’t Be Distracted

One of the biggest turn-offs on a first date is when someone appears distracted or disinterested. This includes checking your phone, looking around the room, or appearing disengaged.

Why It’s Important: Being fully present shows that you’re interested in getting to know the other person and that you respect their time and attention.

How to Avoid It:

Keep your phone on silent and out of sight during the date.

Make eye contact and focus on the conversation.

Engage with what the other person is saying by asking follow-up questions or sharing related experiences.

3. Don’t Talk About Your Ex

Bringing up past relationships on a first date is generally a no-go. It can make the other person feel uncomfortable and might give the impression that you’re not over your ex.

Why It’s Important: Focusing on the present rather than the past allows the date to be about getting to know each other, without the baggage of previous relationships.

How to Avoid It:

If the conversation naturally leads to relationships, keep it general and avoid diving into details about your ex.

If your date brings up the topic, keep your responses brief and steer the conversation back to more neutral ground.

4. Don’t Drink Too Much

While it’s fine to have a drink or two to ease nerves, drinking too much on a first date can lead to poor decision-making and can send the wrong message.

Why It’s Important: Keeping your wits about you ensures that you remain in control of the situation and can make clear-headed decisions.

How to Avoid It:

Set a limit for yourself before the date, and stick to it.

If you’re at a bar or restaurant, consider alternating alcoholic drinks with water or a non-alcoholic beverage.

If you feel pressured to drink more than you’re comfortable with, politely decline.

5. Don’t Rush Things

It’s important to take your time and not rush into anything, whether it’s physical intimacy or making plans for future dates. Allow the relationship to develop naturally.

Why It’s Important: Rushing can create unnecessary pressure and may cause the other person to feel uncomfortable or unsure about the pace of the relationship.

How to Avoid It:

Focus on enjoying the current date rather than planning ahead.

Respect the other person’s boundaries and comfort levels.

If things are going well, express your interest in seeing them again, but avoid making concrete plans until you’ve both had time to reflect.

Summary

First dates after meeting online can be both exciting and nerve-wracking. By following these do’s and don’ts—being yourself, choosing a safe location, keeping the conversation balanced, setting realistic expectations, and being respectful—you can set the stage for a positive experience. Avoiding oversharing, distractions, talking about exes, drinking too much, and rushing things will help you stay focused on building a genuine connection.

Contact Details

For more personalized dating advice or coaching, contact Heart Connect Coaching:

Phone: 602-616-7872

Email: [email protected]

Website: Heart Connect Coaching

Location: Gilbert, Arizona

Conclusion

Navigating first dates after meeting someone online doesn’t have to be stressful. By keeping these tips in mind, you can enjoy a positive, respectful, and engaging experience that sets the foundation for potential future connections. Heart Connect Coaching is here to support you through every step of your dating journey, offering expert advice and personalized coaching to help you find the love and connection you deserve.

#Dating Online Advice #Online Dating #Dating #Arizona #Gilbert

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nothing-but-dreamy · 3 years ago

Text

HAUNTED

Pairing: D:BH!CONNOR x HUMAN!READER (gender neutral)

Words: 4.058

Warnings: TRIGGER WARNING! mention of suicide; odd behavior; cursing; hurt - comfort;

A/N: Another day - another request...

I really hope you like it! Thanks again for your idea.

Synopsis: You are a Detective of the DPD and had worked many cases with Hank. Until something went utterly wrong. Since then, you get haunted by your past until you see only one last way out. Luckily, Connor is there to help you.

"You know you don't have to do this.", you said serious.

Sara pulled the wire of the bug underneath her shirt before it got taped on her back, "Yes, but I want to. I have to. I owe it to my sister to do this. She shall find peace finally and like the Lieutenant said, me as her twin, I have the best chance to get this bastard. He doesn't know that she's dead. Therefore, I'm your best chance to get the information you need, Detective."

"Detective..."

"Detective."

"Detective, YLN!"

As if awakening from a deep trance like state, you focused back on reality as your name got called out. Haunted by your typical dark memories, you hadn't even noticed where you were. Slowly, you opened your eyes. The owner of the calm male voice stood on the outside of your car, next to the window of the driver seat, and looked concerned at you through the glass.

You blinked several times. The sun, which already fell through your windshield because it stood so high in the morning sky, made you blind for several moments and as you moved, you noticed your aching back and neck from sleeping in the car in an unhealthy position. Obviously, you had knocked yourself out with booze again.

"Detective YLN, my name's Connor. I'm your new partner. I'm the android sent by CyberLi- I got sent from Captain Fowler to meet you. Rather, he sent me to find you because you missed a meeting this morning. And now, he wants to see you.", Connor said and watched you. Even if he had already learned a lot about human behavior from Hank, there were still some mysteries to solve.

Like: why are you sleeping in a car in a position that harms eighty percent of your muscle tissue through soreness and lets your bones and joints burn like fire when you move?

Or: why are you drunk this early in the morning-

"Hey, tin can! Shut the fuck up!", you shouted.

Connor stared at you in shock as he realized that he had asked the questions out loud instead of just thinking about them. A habit he started with as Hank had left the DPD to retire finally, "I'm sorry, Detective. I haven't notice-"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah... what do you want, Carlos?", you asked, searching for your flask you couldn't find.

"My name's Connor, Detective. And as I said, Captain Fowl-"

"Oh, yeah... the meeting... right. Get in the car.", you ordered and even if Connor was sure that it wasn't a good idea for you to drive in the state you were, he also knew that any kind of discussion would lead to nowhere. He still knew that from his time with Hank.

Twenty minutes later, for a way that only took ten minutes usually, you, followed by Connor, entered the DPD which was crowded with androids, policemen and people who were complaining about some uninteresting nonsense. You made your way through all these people, trying to dodge as many colleagues as you could - but of course, one of them caught you. Like always.

"Hey, YN! This is the DPD and not some bar. You won't find any kind of booze around here."

"Just shut the fuck up, Reed! Or otherwise, I will tell everyone that you own some pair of bright pink panties- oh, upsi! My bad!", you called out, gleaming at him with a smirk. Everyone started to laugh.

Gavin stared at you with a hate-filled glance, he was fuming, "Fuck you!", he muttered.

"Oh, sweet. That's all you got, Reed?", you shot back with a grin.

But before Gavin could respond to anything, Captain Fowler stepped out of his office, "Detective YLN! In my office!"

"And? Who's laughing now?", Gavin said with a smirk and winked at you before he left the DPD to do some work.

Connor closed the door of the office behind him as you were inside. You walked over to the Captain's desk to sit down in one of the chairs but even without looking up you sensed the anger radiating from your boss. It was tangible in the air. Without asking, you took one of the fresh glasses on Fowler's desk to throw an aspirin into it. Then, you pulled out the flask you had found finally to fill the glass with a transparent liquid.

Fowler watched you, half shocked and half concerned, "What are you doing?"

"Taking an aspirin, Sir. I have a murderous headache."

"And what was in the flask if I may ask?"

"Vo- uhm... water. Just water, Sir.", you answered before you gulped down the bubbling mixture.

Fowler looked from you at Connor who also seemed to be concerned about the fact that you had mixed pharmaceuticals with alcohol before the Captain looked back at you, "Where have you been this morning? We had a meeting."

You put the empty glass back on the desk, "Oh, yeah... the meeting. I'm sorry, Sir. I was on observation and obviously, I lost track of time.", you explained, leaning back in the chair, waiting for the aspirin and ‘water’ to do its magic.

"Observation, huh? For what case? What's the file number?", Fowler asked, leaning back in his own seat, folding his hands in front of him while waiting for your answer.

"Oh, yeah... the file number. One moment, Sir-"

Fowler slammed his plane hand on the desk's surface that you were jumping in your seat, "Cut this shit, god dammit! You have no file number because you have no current case, Detective! Let me guess, Connor had found you sleeping in your car, right? How many nights had it been this time?"

You kept eye contact but you gave him no answer. You just gritted your teeth and pressed your jaws together.

Fowler sighed, "Listen, YN, you're a great Detective but since the things with Sara happened-"

"No!", you called out, jumping from your chair and stopping the Captain mid-sentence with your sudden outburst, "We won't talk about this!", you said serious before you turned around to let your glance roam through the office with all the busy people, "Alright, Sir. What's the matter with the android? Monitoring what I do and what I don't do?"

"Connor is the former partner of Hank-"

"Oh and now, Hank doesn't want to play with it anymore so you give it to the next screwed up cop you can find?", you asked, turning around to look at Connor with his fancy clothes and neat hairstyle before you looked back at the Captain.

"Hank retired two weeks ago. I thought you knew that.", Fowler said and looked even more concerned at you.

"No, I'm sorry. I didn't get invited to any funny parties nor did I got a notification. But who cares. So, the android's with me then? How long?", you asked emotionlessly.

"It's your partner now. Brief it into your cases-"

You stepped forward, aiming for the door, "Cases, Sir? What cases? You already said I have none.", you pointed out while leaving the office.

Fowler watched after you, not amused about your unpredictable behavior and the fact that you were carrying a gun.

"Sir?", Connor asked and brought the Captain back from his thoughts.

"Yeah... Listen... as you can see YN has a few problems. They used to be a good cop in the past until one of the cases they and Hank had operated went wrong. The anniversary is in two days and I fear... well...", Captain Fowler stopped himself, watching you grabbing a coffee from the kitchen.

"I will keep an eye on them.", Connor said and left the office as well.

Connor was surprised how carelessly you were in managing your cases - even if it were just a few. There was nothing special or difficult and yet, you weren't able to file the cases properly, "Detective, this report here, I'm not sure to which case it belongs.", Connor asked as he had read an interview of a woman who had reported her dog as missing. Added to that, the interview was part of a file about an armed theft in the heart of the city. There was no connection at all to these two cases.

Without looking up, you took a folder from your desk to hand it over to Connor, "Yeah...here. That's the case you're searching for."

Connor took the case and skimmed through the pages several times before he looked at you, frowning, "Detective, this is a file about a stolen android.", he pointed out.

"Yeah, just ... put the page in this file. I'm sure it will be right.", you said, ignoring the android's expression.

"Detective, I'm not sure-"

"Excuse me, I need some more coffee.", you cut him off, standing up to aim for the kitchen with your mug in your hands.

"And I thought Hank was challenging.", Connor whispered under his breath and shook his head while he still tried to figure out which pages were parts of which cases.

"You're a murderer, Detective! That you still think yourself as worthy enough to call yourself a cop is way out of my understanding!", a jarring, female voice echoed through the office and drew the attention of everyone to her and to the person that stood in front of her - you.

Connor craned his head to watch the scene like everyone else did. But while the attention of the others was because of curiosity and spitefulness, Connor watched you and your bodily reaction to the woman's accusations. You stood there like a timid fawn. The cockiness you presented before seemed to be gone completely. Your heart rate increased, you were shaking and your eyes became big as if you were intimidated by the woman in front of you. The woman stepped even closer and Connor watched, surprised, that you stayed where you were. Easily, you could have escaped the unknown woman and yet you stayed rooted to the spot.

"Because of you I lost both of my daughters! I already have lost the one and yet, you thought it would be fair to take the other away from me as well!", the woman screamed erratic, tears were already running down her cheeks but she was still not able to stop herself and no one else was brave enough to step into the scene, "You and your partner will pay for what you have done! You will burn in hell for that!"

"Chris! Escort Mrs. Mason into my office!", Captain Fowler ordered and stopped the woman's outburst even if it was a bit too late.

Connor saw tears building in the corners of your eyes. Quickly, your glance scanned the area but the only way you could find was the way out. You aimed for the precinct's main entrance to leave the building in a hurry. Connor followed you. He ran through the office and left the building as well but as he stepped onto the pavement you were nowhere to be seen. Like a ghost, you had vanished between all the other pedestrians.

Hank had just taken a new beer to watch the next half of the Detroit Gears game as someone rang his doorbell. In the penetrant way how this person used his doorbell and the way how Sumo reacted, Hank knew who the visitor was, "Connor, hey. What are you doing here? It's a bit too early to go for a walk with Sumo.", the older man said but he already saw that something else was bothering the android.

"Yeah, actually, I'm not here because of Sumo.", Connor said.

Hank let him in and Connor came straight to the point that kept him busy, "One year ago, you and Detective YLN had a case together. But something went wrong. What exactly happened? I couldn't find the case file."

Hank frowned, "Why do you ask?"

"Captain Fowler teamed me up with Detective YLN because of the anniversary of this case. He's concerned about the instability of their constitution."

Hank shook his head. He missed working with the android but he didn't miss the long-winded explanations of him. Then, suddenly, he became serious again, "Instability, huh?"

"Yes. They seem to be so unpredictable in their behavior that Captain Fowler fears something worse will happen because the anniversary would be in two days. I ... I found them this morning sleeping in their car.", Connor explained with a frown.

Hank raised his brows in surprise and at the same time, he felt worried, "YN and I, we... In the past, we worked together on some cases. Well, that changed with our last case. Lynn and Sara Mason.", he said slowly, feeling the pain stinging his heart as he remembered what had happened one year ago.

"Why couldn't I find much about it in the archives of the DPD?"

Hank stood up from the couch, walking over to the book shelf to pull something out that was hidden between his several jazz vinyl. He walked back to Connor, offering the android the case file but stopped as Connor was grabbing for it, "You just can find the basics of this case because I kept it printed. Some wounds are so deep, it's better if not everyone is able to find a tool to reopen them all over again.", he said and gave Connor the file finally.

***

The next day, Connor drove again to your place and was happy to see that you weren't sleeping in your car again. As he knocked at your door, you opened him with a smile. You had taken a shower, your hair was still damp and your clothes were all fresh and clean. Connor noticed that you weren't accompanied by the scent of alcohol and he even couldn't smell anything in your breath as you talked with him.

"I... I want to apologize, Connor. Our start yesterday wasn't the best. I'm looking forward to working with you. I'm sure we will make a great team."

Connor knew you just one day, not enough to understand a person completely, and yet he had the strange feeling of something going on that occupied his mind suddenly by the way you acted.

"Oh, can you call a taxi?", you asked while sipping on your coffee.

"What happened to your car, Detective?", Connor asked surprised while ordering the vehicle.

You smiled at him, "Oh, I sold it. I will have no use of it anymore. And please, call me YN."

To Connor's surprise, your behavior stayed kinda strange even if he couldn't say what it was exactly. You and Connor went early to the DPD. On your way in, you talked with colleagues. You joked with Chris and as Gavin entered the kitchen, you pressed a cup of coffee into the Detective's hand which left him utterly confused.

Gavin stopped Connor by stepping into his way, "Hey, tin can. Is this coffee drugged or what is going on here?"

In the way Gavin looked at Connor, the android noticed real unease, "No, Detective. The coffee is not drugged or anything. I guess others would call it 'tasty'. You can drink it.", he said but looked frowning at you. As Connor left Gavin, the green-eyed man was still sniffing suspiciously on the hot liquid as if the mug might contain acid instead of his most favorite beverage.

Connor went back to the desk opposite of yours and was surprised to see how you cleared out the different pages of the case files. Several small piles were lying in front of you while you tried to bring them into the right order and to collate them.

Later that day, Connor was puzzled as you went to the Captain to apologize to him as well as you had done it with Connor in the beginning of the day. You apologized for your behavior the day before and of all the past weeks, "I know I did a few things wrong, Captain. But I promise to change that in the future. In fact, the change will happen soon and then, everyone will be pleased with me again.", you said before you took your jacket to leave the precinct.

Connor looked at the Captain and saw on the man's face what he was thinking: strange.

‘Strange’ was the only word Connor could find to describe your work day even although you were acting practically perfect. You were nice. You had sorted your cases. You had apologized for your behavior. And yet, something was odd. Something felt wrong. Connor sensed that something was ... going on. But he couldn't put his finger on it. So, out of instinct, Connor followed you and drove to your place with a taxi.

As he knocked at your door, you opened, smiling at him and dressed in a bathrobe, "Oh, Connor, hey. What is it? I just wanted to take a bath."

Surprised, Connor looked at you. He was sure you had taken a shower this morning so there was no need to take a bath and then, he reminded himself that he still had not much knowledge about humans and their several oddities, "Yeah, I ... I just wanted to ask if everything is alright, Detective.", he said honestly.

You smiled at him, "Of course, Connor. Everything is more than alright. I just need some time to relax and tomorrow, everything will make sense to you and the others. Thanks for checking on me, that means a lot to me. Goodnight.", you said and closed the door.

Connor stared at your closed door for several moments before he stepped slowly back to walk down the hallway. Since he turned deviant, Connor's systems needed a bit longer to process information - not much, it were just seconds, but sometimes that could be more than enough.

As Connor was still connecting the different dots and hints you had spread the whole day, Hank called him, "Connor! Where are you?"

"I'm leaving YN's place. They want to take a bath. Why? What's the matter?", Connor asked as he sensed the slightly concerned undertone in Hank's voice.

"You have to go back, Connor! Go back to them! YN hates to bath!", Hank demanded worried.

Even if Connor was confused, he turned around, walking back the way to your apartment, "Hank?"

"I just got a letter from YN. It got brought by a delivery man. It's a handwritten suicide letter. Hurry and stop them!", Hank ordered.

Connor ended the call, hurried down the corridor and without knocking, he broke down the door of your apartment. Quickly, Connor ran through your small apartment, already seeing the door of your bathroom ajar. He stormed into the room and the second his eyes landed on you lying in the bathtub with the razor blade between your fingers, he was by your side, taking the blade away to throw it into a far corner before you could even cut. Slowly but demanding, Connor dragged you out of the water, took a towel and laid it around your shaking frame because you already were ice cold. Obviously, you had filled the bathtub with cold water to support a fast sleep while your blood would have drained from your body after the cut.

You were screaming and yelling for Connor to let go of you. You demanded the razor back and that he should leave your apartment but Connor ignored everything. You punched against his chest with your fists but Connor stayed unimpressed, determined to save your life. With a strong grip, he wrapped you into the towel and also laid the bathrobe around your shoulders before he guided you out of the bathroom. You were still struggling in Connor's arms to get free. All you wanted was to end what you had started. Desperate, hot tears were running down your cheeks as you were crying violently about the fact that you were still alive. Alive and alone with the memories which were still haunting you like mean demons.

Connor placed you on the couch, sitting next to you and wrapping his arms around your frame to give you even more support and comfort while you cried against his chest, "Please, just let me die...", you cried out between two heavy sobs.

"No, Detective. I have to refuse your request."

"Cut this 'Detective' shit. Just call me YN, god damnit.", you whimpered helplessly because now, everything was just worse than you had expected. You had planned everything and yet, the android was there to destroy your neatly made plans, "What are you even doing here, Connor?"

"Hank received your letter and called me right on time."

You leant closer against Connor's chest with closed eyes, seeking the android’s presence while cursing about yourself, "Hell, the letter. I should have changed the delivery time to a later one. Then, everything would be over. All the pain. All the guilt. All the haunting.", you breathed with a sad voice.

Connor tightened the embrace around you even more, "It's about Sara Mason and her sister, isn't it?", he whispered softly, placing his chin on top of your head to enclose you even more.

You nodded, not surprised that Connor already knew it, "Yeah... it's my fault that Sara died. It's my fault that her mother lost both daughters.", you cried out, clawing into Connor's white shirt with your fingers.

"Well, I read the file. Sara came up with the idea to get bugged and to infiltrate the drug dealer who had killed her sister Lynn. I mean, the idea was good. It was just bad luck that the dealer already knew about Lynn's death and looked right through the façade you and Hank had planned.", Connor said softly. To calm you even more, he stroked soothingly over your back with his hands.

You leant back to look into the android's face and for the first time, you noticed the incredibly intense, brown color of his soft eyes, "Y-you don't understand. Not even Hank knew that but Sara didn't come up with the idea to get bugged on her own. I dropped this idea as I was alone with her and manipulated her to think it was her own idea. I mean, how evil can someone be to do this, huh?", you asked, closing your eyes about this painful memory.

Connor cupped your face, knowing that humans needed physical contact to feel secure and safe and he wanted to provide you both as well as he could. He was glad to see that you opened your eyes again and that you stayed where you were, "Listen, neither you nor Hank nor someone else could have known every single possibility in this case. The idea was good. The Captain said the same in his official statement. But ... Look, kid, sometimes bad things happen, and you can't do anything about it.", he said softly.

Through a sob of new tears because Connor was the first for a very long time that was caring about you this much, you chuckled low, "Have you... did you just quote the Lion King to cheer me up?"

Connor looked slightly caught with a sheepishly smile playing around his lips, "Yeah... Hank said I should improve my knowledge about pop culture. I binge watched all the Disney movies I could find last week. I thought this quote was suitable... Or did I have done it wrong?"

You chuckled a bit more about his innocence and strong will to help you, "No, it was pretty good. Thanks for... you know... thanks for being here with me.", you whispered low, feeling your cheeks reddening.

Connor leant back on your couch, bringing you close to his chest so you could snuggle against him, "I'm your partner now, YN. And partners are looking out for each other. You can count on me no matter what it is.", he said softly and after five minutes where he just stroked comforting over your back, he noticed your even breathing that told him that you had fallen asleep. Hank called and without making too much noise, Connor briefed his former partner that you were alright.

You were still alive. You still had a long way to go to leave your haunting ghosts behind but Connor was sure you would make it. You were strong enough to do it - and he would be by your side to support you as promised.

#detroit become human imagines #detroit become human connor #rk800 x reader #dbh connor x reader #connor #detroit connor #connor rk800 #dbh connor #rk800 #detroit rk800 #dbh rk800 #rk800connor #detroit become human rk800 #male reader #female reader #gender neutral reader #hurt comfort

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acourtofthought · 2 years ago

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I don’t think what went down with that e/lriel was fair. I think it was beneath you. I am also using my phone, so I apologise for any weird formatting.

Let me preface this by saying - You made valid points. I just don’t understand why you went to their post, and commented at all? To be honest, I don’t think you were in the right on that, and it makes us look bad. We’ve been accused of baiting in the past, and I’ve always scoffed at it..but you undeniably did go onto their post to seemingly start a fight. I also don’t think it’s a fair claim, that they could stop responding - when it was their post and blog to begin with, and not some random post that invited discussion. That is an unrealistic, and unfair expectation. I would tell someone who came into my space like that to “fuck off” too. That e/lriel you engaged with IS problematic, undeniably so. Everyone knows it. I just feel you gave them something valid to whine about this time. I am genuinely confused and frequently disgusted by our ACOTAR community as a whole. We call each other hypocrites, and yet do the very same thing we accuse our antis of. One of your reiterated points is “you hate when e/lriels say Eluciens lack reading comprehension” - a very fair gripe to be sure! However I’ve seen numerous posts from “our” side of the line, claiming that very thing of E/lriels..I’ve seen much worse claimed of them, by us..Truly, I wish you would have just vagued that E/lriel instead of engaging like that. It was disappointing, and I’m annoyed that today I actually feel bad for them.

I apologize that my responding to something in the Elain tag has upset you to the point that you felt the need to message me.

I LOVE a lot of the people that I've interacted with through Tumblr. I love reading their blogs, their ideas, their thoughts. And I love that there is a collective group who love Elucien like I do.

At the same time, I am still an independent thinker and operate based on my emotions and thoughts. If I feel angered over others being attacked then I'm not the kind of person who's going to sit back and do nothing. If something frustrates me and I feel driven to speak up, I'm going to do it.

Truly, I apologize if that somehow gives the collective Eluciens a bad name. But the Original Poster was ridiculing others under the Elain tag which leaves it open for anyone following the Elain tag to comment on.

I was presenting an opinion to her, in response to a post which I felt did not provide accurate information. If she did not like my reblog response, she could have ignored me. She could have blocked me. But she chose to respond and progressively got nastier. I don't think there is anything wrong with responding to an open blog that has the tag of Elain in it, regardless of whether or not that blog was created by her or not. She blogged something with a tag that would be seen by both Elucien and Elriels. That's like saying when an actor posts a promo for their movie, only people who agree with a certain group of critics should be allowed to comment. The Elain tag belongs to no one in particular which, in my opinion means it's open for discussion. When a neutral tag is used, people are going to speak up. I don't think that means anyone is giving their ship a bad name if it's done in a certain way. What gives certain sides of a fandom a "bad name" is not the back and forth discussion with someone. It's when name calling and belittling others happens. It's when people forget how to have any actual debate and resort to pettiness.

I'm not sure what more to say because while I'm sorry it bothered you to this extent, I'm not going to be the kind of person who doesn't speak out when I feel like it's in defense of others. I know I don't always succeed but for the most part, I try to discuss the book rather than turning into a personal attack. And while I don't enjoy having someone upset with me, I can't promise I won't speak out again in the future.

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scriptlgbt · 2 years ago

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Hi!

Right now I'm (attempting) to write a sci-fi story centered around a human and an alien, and basically it would be the alien trying to get the human back home, all the while the human teaches them about Earth culture (what they know of it) and the alien reacting to it/other biological things humans have (a la humans-are-weird).

My plan was to make this human nonbinary (I've been thinking specifically bigender) as a way to explore both masc and femme ways of moving through society. Taking on both masculine and feminine traits to showcase to the alien how either would work back on earth. My thoughts on their gender presentation would be as androgynous as possible, and that people would be unable to tell if they're a man/woman but would believe either if they were told so. They would also go by they/them, with a pretty gender neutral name.

What's the best way to go about this? Is it insensitive to construct a nonbinary person that's split so evenly down the middle? I know, of course, that actual nonbinary people can have an array of presentations, but story wise I thought this would be the best way to showcase more of the human experience in one character. They're experiences as being nonbinary would be shown too, but I wanted an avenue to bring up different trends if needed.

This wouldn't be the only human character, but they would be the main one, and the one the reader gets introduced to first/know the longest.

Any advice you can give would be amazing! (And thank you for reading/responding this kind of got away from me).

Others will definitely have different opinions on this (I especially encourage replies here) but I take issue with nonbinary characters specifically existing within the plot as a teaching tool. When I was in high school, I was outed specifically so my "friends" could teach others about queer topics as though they had a right to share that information without my consent. So this one hits particularly subhumanizing for me, since I was seen as a teaching tool and not a person.

I realize that in this ask, I am only getting the relevant parts of your story to ask about, so that's all I have to judge off of. There are details of your characters that I am not privy to, where they are possibly written as whole fully fleshed out characters.

I think you should also explore your own fluency in teaching about gender from a nonbinary perspective, like your character will be doing. There are nonbinary people who aren't the same as me and who have different relationships to their identities, but I think about gender every day of my life in some way. When I first came to terms with it 11 years ago, I had to deprogram my idea of what gender can be from the binary way I was trained to, in order to accept that I am a real person and part of mainstream society. At least, that I deserve to be part of it.

I think a lot of people who haven't spent time around [other] nonbinary people tend to have not really decoupled their thoughts from the prescribed gender binary. Gender is not two pillars of "man/masculine" and "woman/feminine" and everyone else in relation to that. In the cultures that exist on earth, we don't even have the same perspectives on what either of those mean, if they exist at all.

And that's another thing - it is inaccurate to say that manhood and womanhood are inherently human in the way your nonbinary character would understand it. There are many human cultures who have 5 or 6 genders as the socially accepted norm. When we ignore these cultures and their genders when teaching about "human gender" in these stories, we are implying that those outside the colonial binary are not human. Even when womanhood (for instance) is a thing that exists in a given culture, that doesn't mean it translates to the colonial enforcement of a given gender. There are many Indigenous people I know of who specifically have said, "I'm kwe, which is different than what English-speakers mean when they say 'woman.'" Or who have said they identify as an Inuk woman, or 'nonbinary' if they have to use that framework.

It is not enough to say, "femme and masc" as though these are a new, more inclusive binary. They aren't, and femme (when used in English) is a very specific queer identity. It is not synonymous with feminine, and feminine doesn't mean woman-like either. At least to me, and the majority of trans people I know personally. And I'm not sure what exactly you mean when you say masculine or feminine traits either. How these things are defined is really, really subjective. And tbh, a lot of us unfortunately think of stereotypes around what these things mean. Maybe not when we think about it and how we actually perceive these things, but it's the kind of thing many just happen to more readily have words for.

Re: "Split down the middle" bigender. There's nothing wrong with having a nonbinary person have a specific identity. This happens sometimes.

Actual advice:

I don't think you should write this character to be a teacher of gender. I think it's okay to explain some stuff when asked and to make general statements with disclaimers, and have those general statements not imply that most people are men or women (because that only accounts for a specific cultural setting, and one where anything otherwise is persecuted in order to uphold certain systems of power, like patriarchy, colonialism).

Another thing you could do is involve a nonbinary co-writer to write with you from the perspective of this character. Or write their dialogue at least, which your writing responds to.

mod nat

#mod nat #nonbinary #bigender #writeblr #trans #writing advice #trans characters #creative writing #writing community #transgender #nonbinary characters #nonbinary character #nonbinary representation #tokenizing #binarism #I hate that our binarism tag is pretty much entirely about aliens but you know what?#I am talking about humans in this instance it's just that aliens so happen to be involved in the story #binarism specifically refers to colonialism so please do not use it to claim ppl who aren't targeted by colonialism experience it

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queendeeshorrorimagines · 3 years ago

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The Rancorous heart II [reuploaded!]

Warnings! Angst, murders, mentions and themes of revenge, cliffhanger

Gender Neutral reader

Previous. Next

The car ride from the prison was long as you looked out of the windows of Dale’s sleek BMW, the trees that were once beautiful and green were now bare and dead for the most part. The heat was suffocating compared to what you remembered before being incarcerated all these years ago.

“What do I do now?” You asked Dale, turning to look at him.

Dale’s face looked mostly the same as when you first met him, given wrinkles littered around his eyes and mouth; his once dark brown hair now had grey mixed in. If you saw Dale out in public, he would be the type of charismatic man that made people want to hear him tell stories about his life. His hazel eyes focused on the road ahead of him as the midday sun illuminated his farmer’s tanned skin as he responded.

“We start your new life. I’m driving you to a reintroductionary program to help you get back on your feet. It's only a temporary program but I know you'll adjust perfectly." Dale turns onto the state road as you begin to see little signs of society fill the area.

"Now I have a question for you." Dale's slightly southern accent was soothing to you- something that reminded you of a home you've never experienced yet know.

"Are you asking as my lawyer or as my friend?" You responded. It's always been an ongoing joke between the two of you to counter each other's questions with that exact question.

Dale chuckled softly, his fingertips softly tapped against his steering wheel as he waited at a stop light. "I'm asking this as both. I know you were trying to cover for someone."

You froze in your seat, surprised that Dale would bring this up so soon. Although you understood Dale asking you about you taking the blame. Memories of Billy and Stu flooded your mind as Dale noticed how you suddenly went quiet.

"(Y/N), I don't know the situation but if you do have any information about who might be the one responsible, it's in your best interest to come out with it.. As a friend, and lawyer of yours for the past two decades, I want your best interest.. The sooner the killers get caught, the less victims there will be.."

The feeling of your throat becoming dry made you realize the reality that the men you loved with all your heart were most likely starting their killings again. You wanted to tell Dale everything, to be able to get true justice for the victims back in 1996 and the victims presently.

Yet, a darker part of yourself wanted to seek revenge on them. They left you to rot in a cell for twenty years. They promised to be there for you but they abandoned you. You wanted both of them to feel the way you felt, if not worse.

"I understand completely. And I will let you know if I find anything out. I promise." Breaking the brief silence, you avoided the topic of taking the blame as Dale smiled softly, responding with a nod.

It was a few hours later when you arrived at your temporary home. The rest of the trip to the program was a long and quiet ride after your response, excluding the occasional questions on if you needed any food or bathroom breaks. News reporters and people who wanted you to stay in prison scattered around the complex, multiple people asking questions about the case while there’s other people who yelled obscenities and cursed your way. .

The building itself looked more like an apartment building. It was bare for the most part, a light beige was painted on the building as flowers were blooming around the entrance. Scents of California poppies and Hibiscuses filled your nose as you walked towards the main entrance of the building.

Dale Shielded you, pushing through the crowd as he led you to the front door, holding the door opener for you. You entered the building with your box in hand as an older woman sat behind the reception desk. The woman had a rough look about her, her tattoos littered her arms and her short choppy brown hair suited her perfectly as you stood beside Dale.

"Good afternoon, Miss Tara." Dale greeted Tara with a slight smile as he continued. "This is (Y/N), the recently released client I was talking to you about." Dale referred to you as Miss Tara looked up at you, her blue eyes darted towards you.

"Hello (y/n), I'm Miss Tara. I run this place. I spent my time in prison myself, a decade back in '80. Before you ask, it’s best you don’t ask. This place is for recently released inmates to have a chance to transfer back into modern society." She guides you towards one of the rooms with a key in her hand.

"The rules are very simple. You are expected to get a job in order to stay here. We work with local businesses to help get you back on your feet. You must pass random weekly drug tests. You will get kicked out if you commit any crimes while staying here” She looked down at you, her scowl was imprinted onto her sharp jawline as she continued. “Since your situation is different compared to others, I will work with you to get you into a place of your own once we fully integrate you back into modern times."

The room looked like a miniature home more than the basic small apartments. There’s a fridge and microwave for cooking. The full sized bed was near the window. There was a telephone on the bedside table. The bathroom was on the other side of the room near the entrance of your room. “We will leave you to unpack and relax. There’s some frozen meals and drinks in the fridge if you’re hungry. I will have someone come over in the morning to help you with clothing and job applications.” Tara bluntly looks to you as she guides Dale out of the room, saying a good night as they close the door behind them.

Putting the box on your bed, you take the remote controller and turn on the t.v. across your bed. News reports showed you walking inside the building with the words ‘Woodsburrow slasher freed because of new DNA evidence.’ The reporters were chatting about the crime, making you sighed quietly as you started unpacking the cardboard box. As you were tucking your paperwork inside the bedside drawer, the worn photo of You, Billy, and Stu fell onto your lap. You picked up the picture, cringing at how stupid you were for ever falling for them; protecting them at the cost of your freedom and future. Soft tears begin to form in your eyes as you finally are able to let out all the pain, hurt, and anger that you had forced inside of you.

Just as you were about to wipe away some of the tears off your cheeks, the phone rings. You quickly picked it up, thinking it was Dale wishing you good night or Tara wanting to let you know about something she forgot to tell you.

“Hello?”

“Hello, (Y/n). Remember us?”

#queendeeshorrorimagines #slasher imagines #the rancorous heart #poly ghostface imagines #poly billy and stu imagines #gender neutral reader #reuploaded #the rancorous heart reuploaded

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trashahime · 4 years ago

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Anon, sorry for taking so long and the length. There was a lot to address and I tend to ramble. Due to the length I am going to divide your ask in chunks and respond to each paragraph individually for clarity's sake.

I'm curious as to why you have addressed this to Sesskagu shippers both here and later. TBH, this alone will make many doubt that you are truly neutral because you seem to have fallen for the common but false claim that the anti sentiment has it's roots in bitterness over a lost ship war.

Those supporting the end are made up of a variety of people who are simply united in their dislike/disappointment. Among them are shippers and non-shippers, antis, neutrals and even some SR fans who are bothered by how their ship is portrayed.

Personally, I don't think it takes any kind of mental gymnastics to have a problem with how Sessrin is depicted in Yashahime. There are some antis who probably do purposely make the worst possible interpretations to fuel their disgust/anger. But most are being completely sincere in their belief that Rin was married and pregnant by the time she was 15. You have probably already seen and dismissed all the anti arguments to support this view so it would be pointless to rehash them. You can believe it's just about disliking Sessrin but there were many antis like myself who were willing to accept the relationship even if we found it distasteful had Sunrise gone about things differently.

Each "hater" has their own reason for continuing to watch the show and I can't speak for them. Or as a "hater" either as I enjoyed the show. But I also think it's a trainwreck with many issues and problematic portrayals.

If people are targeting individuals and maliciously interacting with their posts then that is definitely harassment. However, I suspect you also mean the general posts made by antis criticizing those who watch the show.

The belief that watching/supporting Yashahime equals supporting a p*dophilic portrayal of Sessrin and other unsavory stuff is an opinion I disagree with. But I also disagree that expressing that opinion is harassment.

I get why you find it to be extremely harsh and hurtful but I also think you are taking it very personally when you needn't.

Consider my position. I'm an anti that still enjoys Yashahime. Most of those posts are made by my moots, some of which I have very friendly interactions with. I have even more reason to feel personally attacked by them but I don't. Just because I respect someone's right to an opinion that doesn't mean I am obligated to agree with it and make it apply it to myself. Unless you agree that liking Yashahime means condoning p*dophilia, then I'd advise you to take the view that those posts don't pertain to you at all.

As for petitions, bad reviews, being glad Yashahime is almost over... Well that's some of the least offensive actions an anti can take. Two of the three are against corporations, not fellow fandom members and the other is just a celebration amongst themselves.

They don't affect anyone else unless the petitions and bad reviews are substantial enough to put the shows future in jeopardy. IMO, the correct counter action is good reviews and supportive petitions, not telling antis to stop. They have the right to express their opinions.

I have seen many grooming and csa survivors say they also don't view Sessrin as having those aspects. However, there are many survivors on the anti side that strongly disagree. While I think that the opinions of those who have endured similar circumstances have more weight, it also creates kind of a never ending tug of war situation where neither side can really "win" the argument because they are equally balanced. For every survivor saying it is, there is one saying it's not.

Generally, I choose not to use the words p*dophilia or grooming when describing the Sessrin relationship or say that everyone who likes the pairing is a P&G apologist.

Many antis don't agree on this, but I think it's possible to have headcanons and scenarios that result in a version of Sessrin in which those things are not present. Fanonwise anyway. To me, the canon situation can definitely be interpreted to believe that they are present.

Mostly, I tend not to use the terms because they have specific psychological and legal definitions. That makes it very easy for SR fans to completely dismiss the idea that they could apply to Sessrin because it's not a perfect fit. I think if it turns out to be part of actual canon or if it's just part of one's own headcanon that Sesshomaru was "waiting" for Rin to grow up and courting her with gifts like the kimonos then that means he had a romantic interest in her when she was too young for it to be acceptable.

He might not be a technical p*do in that he is attracted to children, but his thoughts and actions are of one with regards to Rin. I agree with those that say Sesshomaru would never intentionally manipulate or pressure Rin to be with him, thus not "technically" grooming.

However, informing her via courting that he wants to be with her when she is older does put a type of manipulative pressure on her. For years, she will have to live with the knowledge that her literal savior, the most important person to her in the world, someone she loves and doesn't want to disappoint, is waiting for her. It will absolutely influence her life choices and who she becomes.

No need to apologise, I don't mind being vented at and am clearly prone to long-ass messages myself.

I think you do have some valid frustrations but I don't think they all are.

It's often forgotten that antis are major fans too. Many wanted to love Yashahime but in their eyes Yashahime "bashes" the OG and it's characters. It's ruined something they held near and dear. And they are highly upset about it.

Think about it, that's probably why you and others are so angry at the criticism. It's bashing something you all enjoy or maybe even love and it's making you highly upset. You all are more alike then you realize.

You can let it all impact your fandom experience or realise there is very little you can do about it because that criticism, even if you find it unfounded, harsh or extreme has the right to exist provided it doesn't break the rules of the website. You won't be able to block it all away.

it's a tired old cliche but it's true that you can't control what others do, only your own reaction to it. And frankly I think some of your reactions are as extreme as to what you ascribe to antis. I mean, you want them to stop celebrating the end of Yashahime. How does that really personally affect you?

A change in perspective as I described earlier goes a long way in not taking anti criticism personally. It even works when you are being personally attacked. I have seen posts about me specifically saying I am a deluded and deranged individual with real life mental health issues just because I think Kagura is the mom. Those people don't know me and I know the truth about myself. So why let someone's unfounded false world view affect me or my fandom experience?

Anyway, you probably just wanted to rant and weren't expecting or wanting this massive response. I hope you find a way to deal with the negativity because it's not completely avoidable but it will die down eventually.

#ask #anti sessrin #antisessrin

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yolkyeomie · 4 years ago

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[requested] — member: seonghwa, word count: 772, genre: fluff, warning: none

[3:43 pm]: You never really liked those pretentious literature majors and they never gave you a reason to like them in the first place. They were so secretive and close off to the rest of the world, filling their brains with dead languages and old poems no one of the modern age would really care for. They huddled close together like penguins, never leaving the comfort of their inner circle to interact with those outside of them. Even their own professors seem to enable their slightly elitist and closed way of life which meant nothing good would ever come out of getting close to one of them.

And then you did.

Trust and believe it wasn’t something you had planned to happen in the first place! You didn’t even initiate the first encounter with one of them, you would never dare to try and talk to one of them for the sake of your own sanity.

“Excuse me,” you turn your head around at the speed of light, slightly jumping when your attention had been called to. In front of you stood a rather tall individual, much taller than the average person at least. He was dressed in a long overcoat and neutral toned clothes, looking as though he hopped straight out of autobiography. In his slightly trembling hands was a washed out black book, its pages weathered and its cover torn around the edges.

“I know you—,” his eyes widened in shock, playing with the silver bangs that hung over his eyes—“Park Seonghwa, you’re one of those literature majors, aren’t you?”

The boy struggled to keep his composure, not expecting you to already know a bit of information on him. “Yeah,” He answered. “How’d you know?”

You couldn’t help but chuckle at the question, pointing to your surroundings and then to him. “The old library we’re in, the worn out book in your hands, your fashion choices? It’s kinda hard not to notice.” Seonghwa didn’t respond for a moment, his eyes flashing with a hint of embarrassment as he looked down at himself. He does look like some starry-eyed college student, doesn’t he?

“Anyways,” you quickly switch topics, not wanting to hold any more awkward silence between the two of you. “Is there anything you need? Literature majors usually don’t talk to anyone who doesn’t fit their pretentious standards so this is… interesting.”

“Don't generalize literature majors.” He glared at you for a moment, but his eyes immediately softened into little crescent moons as he began flipping pages in the book he was carrying. As he skipped from page to page you couldn’t help but notice that it wasn’t just a book, but a journal of some sort, filled to the brim with sketches you couldn’t make out just yet. “This is… a little embarrassing… but is this you?”

You took the journal from his hands, confusion stamped in red writing on your forehead as you peered down to the page he stopped on. Immediately you felt your jaw drop, a gasp escaping your mouth by accident at the sight. The sketch he had presented to you was a very messy yet simplified depiction of your face, not completely accurate but it was enough to know it was you. “Yes, it is… but how did you do this? We’ve never even—“

“I have dreams,” Seonghwa shrugged, shoving his hands into the pockets of his overcoat. “I see people in my dreams and when I wake up I try and draw them so I won’t forget. Sometimes after class I go searching for the people I see but I’m not the best artist so sometimes it doesn’t look right and I can’t find them.”

“I guess today is your lucky day then,” you grin at him, handing the journal back to him. The boy let out a sigh of relief, his shoulders relaxing from a moment of tension you didn’t even realize he was having. You don’t think you’ve ever seen a literature who was this jittery and soft spoken before, giving you a genuine reason to actually speak to him more if the dreaming of people’s faces wasn’t intriguing enough. “I’m Y/N, by the way,” you mention.

“Seonghwa. Park Seonghwa,” he tells you, before shaking his head. “Wait, you knew that already, sorry.”

You can’t but laugh at his actions, finding yourself a little too amused by his demeanor. Whatever happened to literature majors being secretive and pretentious, huh? “Well it’s nice to meet you officially, Seonghwa.”

“It’s nice to officially meet you, too, Y/N.” He responded, a small smile playing on his lips as he played with the pages in his journal.

#kpop imagines #kpop #kpop blurbs #kpop au #kpop scenarios #kpop fluff #kpop timestamps #ateez seonghwa #ateez fluff #ateez x reader #ateez scenarios #ateez #ateez imagines #atz seonghwa #atz blurbs #atz imagines #college!au #college!ateez

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thorraborinn · 4 years ago

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Was the concept of mythic time ever a thing in the past, or is it more of a modern concept? And, if you don't mind me asking, what are your personal views of the myths? Like, do you think they never happened in any sense and just exist to show the traits of the gods, they happened in some sense but just not literally, they just exist to show the traits of the gods and their relationships with each other, they did happen literally, something else?

I’m sorry I’ve taken so long to answer. Your question hit right at the intersection of a lot of things I’ve been thinking about lately and I actually had something of a breakthrough in articulating something I’ve felt for a long time, but have been unable to describe. But I got carried away in responding, to the point that the relevance to this question was... not always clear... so instead I saved what I wrote as a draft and I will rework it into a stand-alone post, and give you something resembling more of a normal answer.

Basically it was a long chain of “in order to understand this, first you have to understand this, but before that...” etc.

To be fair, the reason for this is that it’s actually more complicated to answer than you might think, and it isn’t exactly a simple yes or no. Ideas resembling what we call “mythic time” do indeed occur throughout lots of cultures, including many living ones who have maintained their ancestral customs and beliefs. However, when modern pagans talk about mythic time, that isn’t necessarily the same concept of a non-linear time as one that occurs outside of that context.

So our concept of mythic time -- what it is, how it works, how it relates to linear (”regular”?) time is deeply modern, and while it’s reasonable to make an argument that, say, pre-Christian Norse people also had a concept of a type of time that was different from our normal everyday time, we should not assume that they believed it worked the same way.

Maybe there’s some discourse that I’ve missed (which is often the case with me in relation to modern pagan discourse), but in my experience the idea of mythic time seems really underdeveloped. I think we mostly permit it to be occupied more by an ambivalent field of possibilities, rather than try to work out its actual properties. That isn’t a bad thing necessarily, but I think we’re missing an opportunity to explore the ways that our modern context shapes our experience with paganism on the epistemological level. We should also be careful to differentiate between what we believe ourselves, and what we believe others (like pre-Christian pagans) believed.

I actually have a much more negative opinion of mythic time discourse than I’m probably conveying here, but that’s where the last attempt to answer this went wild, so I’m gonna hold back for now and leave you with this hot take: our current “mythic time” discourse is an ad-hoc conceptual space to which we relegate and neutralize our thoughts, feelings, and experiences that, were we to develop them further, would present challenges to the boundaries Western civilization’s “rational subject,” and thereby preserves paganism’s status as an appendage of Modernity.

What I believe about myths is that they don’t have a fundamental essence that would allow for a description like the ones you asked about. I think that they are an emergent phenomenon, co-determined by lots of different influences, the tiny contributions of uncountable people all sedimenting into one of the best ways that humans have for storing and proliferating information: narrative. Even in cultures like among the pre-Christian Norse where myths were maintained by highly skilled reciters who would perform from memory, there were likely portions which were improvised or elaborated, and some of those improvisations may have -- because of the audience’s positive reactions to them -- eventually become part of the core of the myth.

I don’t believe myths can tell us about the gods directly, I think they tell us some things about what people who came before us believed about the gods, and that is also important to me. However I don’t think it’s necessary to assume that they thought about myths literally either. In some schools of Hellenic thought it was considered extremely offensive to believe that Zeus would actually do the clearly unethical things he’s described doing in myths, and the value of the myths was that they contained subtle knowledge that had to be worked out through exegesis. I don’t have reason to believe Norse people thought the same about their gods and myths, but the point is that if we take myth to be something reflecting the thought of our ancestors then it’s also important that we account for their diversity. Further, we have accounts of encounters with gods in sagas, and while we should also read them carefully and not assume accuracy, they are considerably different from mythical depictions of gods.

A consequence of the first thing I said about myths, that I believe they’re not a fundamentally existing “thing” in themselves but emerge from the interaction of lots of different stuff -- this discussion could basically fractal into infinite complexity, so I’m gonna cut myself off here. But I’ll leave you with a quotation from Ana Mariella Bacigalupo, 2016, Thunder Shaman: Making History with Mapuche Spirits in Chile and Patagonia (pp. 35-6).‌ This is a really incredible book in general but aside from being a biography of a Mapuche machi, it also deals heavily with concepts relating to time, history, historical agency, and the encounter between Mapuche history and western history. The Mapuche are an indigenous people in Chile and Argentina who have been struggling against colonization and state repression for centuries including a currently ongoing wave of state and para-state violence. They’re not from “the past” and their preservation of their ancestral customs has nothing to do with being primitive, but rather to do with their customs being valuable and worth fighting for against settler states that impose a less-than-human status on them.

History is not reality, distinct from myth, which is imagined as fiction. Rather, history is simply a particular expository style that is generally accepted. History and myth offer intersecting but distinctive kinds of truth; they are verbal representations of reality that outline some domain of human experience (White 1978:110).

There are no terms for history and Myth in Mapudungun [Mapuche language]. For Mapuche there is no one expository style or specific temporality that represents their indigenous understanding of time. Instead, Mapuche shamans [machi], like the Amazonian Piaroa (Overing 1990), distinguish between a “before time” history and a “today time” history, but weave both together in shamanic narratives that make and reshape worlds. “Before time,” also known as rüf kuyfi (”true time”), is the primordium, when the conflicting forces of creation, transformation, and destruction shaped the world (Huenchulaf, Cárdenas, and Ancalaf 2004:24; Curivil 2002:19-20). This preceded humans, morality, temporal sequentiality, and space; it is where the Mapuche locate narratives such as the story of the primordial serpents Trengtreng and Kaykay. “Today time,” in contrast, is where the Mapuche locate the creation of morality, sociality, gardening and hunting, space, and sequential time. “Today time” is further divided into füta kuyfi (the remote past), kuyfi (the recent past), fachantü (the present), and ka antü (the future).

[...] Mapuche understand the temporal world not as single and unified, but as multiple. The primordium is never imagined as a time of beings who once existed but are no longer in this world. Spirits are constantly brought into the present from the primordial past, and shamans are multitemporal beings who necessarily experience themselves in primordial times, the recent past, the present, and the future in order to perform rituals to convert chaos to cosmos, illness to well-being. Mapuche shamanic power is produced and reproduced through local, embodied narratives about the primordium that reinterpret larger historical processes through a shamanic lens. In rituals and in shamanic histories, the distance between “today time” and “before time” collapses.

Like Amazonians (Hill 1988; Wright 2013), Mapuche see in the primordial world a conceptual framework through which shamans interpret changes in the social order in the present and the recent past. Narratives about the primordium are not simply reenactments of “before time,” but history in a most fundamental sense: they are deployed to explain why a condition or transformative process exists. They also provide a foundation for reflection and action in the present. Beings from the Mapuche “before time,” like the serpents Kaykay and Trengtreng, take on “today time” moral characteristics through historical transformations: the evil water serpent Kaykay becomes the settler Scheyer [a family of wealthy land-owning colonizers who have historically subjugated the Mapuche], who destroys the cosmos, and the good serpent Trengtreng becomes machi Rosa, who saves and reorders the world.

Note: in case this is unclear, I’m not saying we should apply Mapuche thought to pre-Christian Europeans, I just wanted to include something from a people who have resisted the imposition of western Modernity and are here to speak for themselves. You can learn more about their ongoing struggles through sites like (sorry, this is Chilean-centric, I am not as familiar with the situation in Argentina, and I would be grateful for suggestions):

Chile Solidarity Network: https://www.facebook.com/groups/184641148574277/

Mapuche International Link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/MapucheInternationalLink/

Aukin (Spanish only): http://www.aukin.info/

#ask #anon

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