#In Sickness and In

[edupunkn00b]

On a Butterfly's Wing Masterpost

Graphical representation of the Lorenz Attractor.

"As the system changes, the motion of the point represents the continuously changing variables. It traced a strange, distinctive shape of a butterfly's wings." - Chaos: The Making of a New Science by James Gleick

Changes in an environment can make a outsized impact on a life: Arriving three minutes late to a student club fair. Never walking home alone after that party at Jack's house. Trying a new goal planner that year.

Deciding to stay just a little longer to try to make the marriage work.

Universes collide in this story, as Logan Croft finds himself stumbling down paths he might have followed throughout his life but for a few small changes.

And what he discovers will change everything.

More information and chapter list below the cut.

Four universes are represented in this story. Rough summaries are below with a major spoiler (revealed in The Uses of Adversity and Guardian ad Liber) described in the 'detail'.

💚💙 Happily Ever After (Intrulogical)

Recently divorced, Logan was convinced his failed (and abusive marriage) to Kelly Croft had been his only chance at happiness. Meeting his best friend's brother-in-law, Remus, gave him a happy ending he never dared to think was possible.

💚💙💛 Overruled and Guardian ad Liber (Intruloceit)

The universe in which Logan never met Kelly, came out in college, and fell in love with both Janus and Remus while in law school.

❤️💙 It Could Always be Worse and The Uses of Adversity (Logince)

The universe in which Janus met Remus at Jack's party back in law school and never walked home alone. He and Logan never became friends and, instead, remained simply co-workers until a Q-Law party disaster was narrowly avoided.

💔 In Sickness and In (Logan/Kelly)

The universe in which Logan never left and instead tried to make his marriage work.

About Patton - Major, multiverse-spanning spoiler

[ AO3 ] - Spotify Playlist - YouTube Playlist

Chapter List (below the cut)

A Book Before Bed

Morning Follows Night

A Nearly Good Day

Unhinged

Balancing the Scales

Reality Check

Three Coffees

Black Coffee, No Sugar (coming 11/27)

Queerbait Croft (coming 11/30)

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[scrawnym4]

”pdf file” “unalived” “grape” “corn” what if i killed myself right here right now

[inkskinned]

please i love you i'm begging you bring back suspension of disbelief bring back trusting the audience like. i cannot handle any more dialogue that sounds like a legal document. "hello, i am here to talk to you about the incident from a few minutes ago, because i feel you might be unwell, and i am invested in your personal wellbeing." "thank you, i am unwell because the incident was hurtful to me due to my childhood, which was bad." I CANT!!!!

do you know how many people are mad that authors use "growled" as a word for "said"? it's just poetics! they do not literally mean "growled," it's just a common replacement for "said with force but in a low tone." it's normal! do you hear me!! help me i love you please let me out of here!!!

[lesbian-moon-gf]

surviving the current age of internet means saying no to subscriptions and premiums for basic features. you must endure the inconvenience of not being able to use every server emoji in discord. you must build the patience to find alternatives like NewPipe so you can listen to music on youtube while your phone screen sleeps. do Not give these corporations your limited disposable income. tiktok not letting me view videos on my phone without downloading the app? i will outlast tiktok and the execs will be remembered as dull,disgusting capitalists. listen to me, listen to me. if you do not know how to pirate shows from hulu, learn. if you can't pirate it, it is not worth the money to rent it. please i'm on my hands and knees. do not accept this form of internet.

[prettyboykatsuki]

touch-starvation needs to be written with emphasis on the starving part. you are hungry to be touched. so hungry that even the very taste of it makes you nauseous. it has been long since anything has ever touched you, ever fed you - that your body has grown more used to that gnawing emptiness more than anything else. it's better for you to be held, to eat but it makes you sick to try. you know

[ideologyofone]

Do you think we’re soulmates in another universe?

[exhuastedpigeon]

If I have to see one more “we survived him before we can do it again” post I’m going to scream.

So many people didn’t. So many more people are going to die. Women are going to bleed out in parking lots because doctors are scared to give them the abortion they need. Migrates are going to die in detention centers. Kids are going to have their parents ripped away in mass deportations. Potentially millions of people are going to lose their healthcare.

Yes, we keep fighting, but don’t say we survived before. A lot of people didn’t.

[jellllllo-bowl]

gotham rainy nights

i firmly believe in Duke doing silly things with his power

hiding under your dad's cape when it's pouring outside can be something very special + bat-rain-poncho, several years later

[ryouichiii]

Brazilian Miku twitter trend but this time she's Palestinian 🍉

[mejkosmos]

whichever madman pointed out that the new rift on bill's body in the theraprism is meant to parallel ford's cracked glasses after he emerges out of the portal,,,, MY SOUL IS YOURS TO TAKE ANYDAY MY GOSH

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bonus !!

ford about bill:

bill about ford:

[mugiwara-lucy]

With Kamala/Walz going up DAILY, I've seen more people talking about voting third party/Jill Stein (EW) and I believe the above screencaps from @three--rings can explain WHY Third Party votes NEVER work NOR is this the election to screw around in.

Everyone....like she says above.....PLEASE LEARN FROM HISTORY!!!

(Because if Trump gets in, he's NEVER LEAVING).

[edupunkn00b]

On a Butterfly's Wing, Ch. 6: Reality Check

Graphical representation of the Lorenz Attractor.

Prev - Reality Check - Next - Masterpost - [ AO3 ]

At last, a peek into Happily Ever After's Remus' perspective.

Rated: T, CW: sex references, references to past abuse, minor self-harm as a delusion check (use the camera trick!), swearing -

💚💙 - Friday, May 9, 2024

"'Night, Dads!" Pat poked his head through the open doorway, shoulders dancing with the joke that would never grow old. Last Father's Day when he—and Lo—had surprised Remus with the adoption papers, Pat had asked what he should call him.

"Huh…" He'd sunk down into the seat beside Lo. "I… I've never really thought about it. I… I never thought anyone would ever—" His voice broke and Lo took his hand, bringing it up to his lips for a kiss. "I dunno," he finally said, looking up at Pat. Both their eyes had gone a little watery. "Whatever you wanna call me."

"I could call you both 'Dad,'" he'd giggled. "Always keep you guessing which one I mean?"

To Remus' shock, Lo had thrown his head back and laughed. "That sounds perfect!" And 'Dads' had stuck.

“Oh, Pat! Hang on—” Remus winked at that cute little head tilt Lo did whenever he hadn’t yet figured out what he was up to. “I’ve got something of yours.”

Adorably, Pat matched his dad’s expression and Remus couldn’t hold back a chuckle as he dashed to the closet and fished out a black shopping bag from Digipen.

“Here,” he said, shoving the bag into Pat’s hands.

“Did you…” Giggling, Pat held up his hand. “Be right back!” he said, laughing over his shoulder. He returned a moment later with a suspiciously similar—if much smaller—bag.

Lo sat on the edge of the bed, watching them. “Did you know about this?” Remus asked, giving the bag Pat handed him a little shake. It was a little heavier than the one he’d bought, but not nearly as bulky. "What's in here?"

Lo shook his head, smiling back at them with a sleepy grin. “I suppose you will both have to open them.”

“On three?” Pat grinned.

Remus nodded. “Onnnnnne…” he said, drawing it out.

“Twoooooo…” Patton followed, bouncing on his toes. Remus laughed when he caught himself doing the same.

“Three!” They shouted together, ripping into their bags.

“I can’t believe you got it!” Pat exclaimed first, pulling out the bright blue Digipen Dragons hoodie he’d been eyeing at the gift shop. He’d spent a long time perusing the tiny shop, counting and recounting the cash he’d saved for their tour, bouncing between the hoodie and the other displays in the shop.

Ultimately, Pat had left the shop empty-handed, so Remus had gone back the next day and picked up the hoodie he’d clearly not had enough money for, smuggling it in with some groceries. “Try it on,” he said, nodding with a wide grin at Pat’s expression.

“It’s perfect!” he cheered, hugging the thick fleece. “Okay, so finish opening yours!”

“Oh, right!” Remus sat on the bed next to Lo. Pat took up the spot next to him, head leaning on his shoulder as he watched him struggle to undo the knot on an inner bag. “So when did you manage this?”

Pat giggled with a little shrug. “I told the clerk it was a surprise for you and he helped me get it all sneaky-like while you were still looking at the display.”

Remus’ eyes widened. It seemed like the kid had been watching him as closely as he had.

“And it fit just right in my jacket.”

Lo smiled at him and ruffled his hair. “Very well done,” he murmured.

With one leg hooked over Lo’s, Remus turned so he partially faced Pat and worked the knot in the bag’s drawstring with fresh fervor. After another moment, he got it undone and dumped the contents into his lap. Out fell a bound sketchbook, a heavy glass bottle of clover colored ink, and a package of metal nibs. “Is this…”

Remus’ voice trailed off as he inspected the nibs. A smile slowly spread over his face. “These are drawing nibs…” He laughed as he looked up at Pat. “For dip pen drawing like—”

Pat bounced on the bed next to Lo. “Like in your games!” he grinned. “But with, y’know…” He wiggled his fingers. “All tactile.”

“Aw, Pat…” Remus hugged the bundle to his chest and laughed again. “I haven’t drawn like this since college! This is fucking awesome!” Stretched across Lo, he pulled Pat into a hug with one arm. “Thank you so much! I’m gonna use these tomorrow!”

“Will you show us what you draw?” Pat asked, leaning closer to Lo.

“Hell, yeah!” He tapped the package of nibs and watched the light play over their faces, sorely tempted to rip open the package and start right then. It wasn’t really that late, was it?  As if reading his mind, both Pat and Lo’s watches trilled with their bedtime reminders and Remus laughed. “Tomorrow,” he said with a little nod, tucking the precious gifts back into their bag.

Lo pulled Pat into a long hug, eyes squeezed shut. Finally, he let out a slow breath and nodded. “‘Night, Patton,” he whispered. “Sweet dreams.”

“See ya in the morning, Bud,” Remus said, rising to give him his own hug. “And thanks again,” he added, gently shaking the bag.

“Thank you! I can’t wait to show this to Jax!” he said with a little shoulder dance. “‘Night, Dads,” Patton called with one more little wave and closed the door.

Eyes trained on the floor, Lo sat perched on the edge of the bed, pinching the blanket between this thumb and forefinger and stroking the thick material with a cute little smile. He was tired, with sloped shoulders and heavy eyelids.

Remus set his gift on the nightstand and knelt on the floor in front of him, hands resting on Lo’s knees. “Whatcha thinking about there, Lo Lo?" Remus murmured.

Logan's head jerked up, mouth open and cheeks pink. "I—I, um…" He straightened glasses that weren’t crooked and shrugged before not really meeting his eyes. "How soft the blanket is, actually."

Remus covered his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "I thought you'd like it,” he grinned and Logan finally looked back at him, lip caught between his teeth like he wasn't sure what to say. “So…” Smiling, he kissed each of Lo’s knees before slotting himself between them. A spark danced in Lo’s eyes as Remus reached up and laced his fingers at the back of his neck. Smiling, Remus waggled his eyebrows up at him. “I do believe you were going to show me just what got you so”—Lip caught between his teeth, Remus glanced down—“excited this morning.”

~

Not ready to let go, Remus curled over Lo’s body, nipping along his shoulder and up his neck. Lo didn’t move, wordless and gasping quietly beneath him. “Wore you out that badly, Lo Lo?” he chuckled, breathless laughter falling away when he felt the wetness on his cheeks.

“Lo?” Iron bands wrapped around his chest and he pushed up to look into his eyes. He was smiling but crying. “Love?”

But Lo remained silent. Remus curled his arms around his shoulders and kissed each tear. "You haven't…" Lo hadn’t gone speechless in a long time and Remus was ashamed to admit he couldn’t tell if this was the good kind of speechless.

Or the bad.

He sought out Lo’s eyes, searching for any sign of what was behind his overwhelm. “Love, you haven't cried like that since our first time. Are you…" Lo shuddered beneath him, eyes darting to one side.

Oh, fuck! Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck… "Did I hurt you?"

"No!” Lo was so quick to reassure, but tears still trailed down his cheeks. Remus froze, afraid to breathe as he listened.

“Not at all, that was… In—incredible. You were incredible," Lo emphasized, the touch of heat behind his smile gradually melting the barbs in Remus’ chest. "No, I'm…" He took a slow breath, a soft smile curling up his lips. "I'm feeling a lot.”

Lo’s thumb was gentle against his mouth, stroking his lips and his mustache like they were a treasure. Like he was Lo's wtreasure. Warmth spread out from his touch and Remus nuzzled against his palm, soaking in the closeness, smiling at the twitch of Lo's fingers when his mustache tickled the sensitive spots.

Remus flashed back to the day Lo had first showed him the scar he’d fought so hard to hide. And the night Jay had described the scream he’d heard from three stories down when that damned bitch had burned him. He shuddered to think about what that day could’ve been like for him without Jay there and he pressed another line of kisses along the edges of the old, old scar.

Lo’s smile grew, the tension in his hips and thighs finally melting back into the bed. Remus finally breathed.

"Good a lot?" Remus asked, watching his eyes. He was pretty sure he knew the answer but he couldn’t forgive himself if he didn’t ask. “Bad a lot?"

For one horrifying moment, Lo’s eyes twitched, eyes gone glossy again. But he let out a slow breath before his smile grew. "So good," he assured, voice more sure than it had been all night.

“Okay…" He kissed Lo’s hand and curled around him. Staying now was worth waking up a little… sticky. For shame, they’d need a good long shower in the morning. “Good night, Lo Lo,” he said, rubbing his cheek against Lo’s chest. “Love you.”

Lo’s fingers in his hair, Remus could have purred. “Good night, Remus,” Lo whispered back.

If Lo’s arms were wrapped around him, if he wasn’t still… Remus couldn’t quite shake the formality of his full name coming from Lo’s lips. He waited… feeling a little silly at being so hurt from the vacuum left by his missing ‘Love you, too, Meus…’

"Lo Lo?" Biting his lip, hard enough to feel the pain, Remus peered up at him in the dim light. No, this wasn’t just a delusion. Something was up with Lo. “You’ve been a little… off this evening. Looking at your hand a lot, and…” You didn’t call me Meus. He couldn’t quite bring himself to say it. “Are you having a bad night? You know it's okay if you are. We could talk… or not…"

Lo started and stopped a half dozen times until finally he held his gaze. “I don’t want to wake up from this.”

Oh.

“Ah, Lo Lo…” Fuck all if Remus didn’t know exactly how that felt. He bit his lip again, relishing the evidence of this reality, born of pain with the hint of copper. Then he smiled and snatched Lo’s phone off the nightstand.

Camera on, he flipped it around so Lo could see him on the screen. “Look…” The phone’s bluish glow sparkled in Lo’s eyes and Remus grinned and tapped the screen a few times to capture his image. “I’m no dream, Lo Lo,”

Switching camera to selfie mode, he curled next to Lo on the bed. He snapped a picture for each kiss, lips brushing against every bit of his love he could reach. “And neither are you, Love. We’re both real. C’mon…” Remus set down the phone and curled closer, drawing him in for a slow kiss. He knew Lo might taste the blood, might know what it meant. But maybe they needed the double reassurance right now.

Face still drawn, Lo looked back at him, belief and hope in his eyes. And exhaustion. Remus held him close and smiled. “Would you like to get some sleep and see how you’re feeling in the morning?”

“Okay,” he whispered.

Remus hummed to the beat of Lo’s heart as he drew him close, those familiar warm arms wrapped tightly over his back. Good, Lo. Don’t ever let me go.

“Good night.”

~

Lo fell asleep not long after, his stuttered breaths quickly smoothing into the soft exhalations that meant he'd drifted off. His grip around Remus' body never relaxed, though, and Remus fell asleep secure in his husband's embrace.

Sudden strained movement beneath him tugged at his consciousness but Remus didn't fully away until he heard Lo's cry.

“Meus!” Shuddering, Lo held tight, one arm curled around his middle, a hand threaded gently through his hair. “Oh, Meus,” he whispered in a broken voice.

“Lo?" He squinted at the window, the streetlights declaring it was not yet dawn. "Lo, what's happened?”

Lo started to cry, chest trembling as he fought to hold back a sob. “I’m sorry… I… I'm so sorry to wake you… I…”

Keeping Lo's arms around, Remus carefully moved to sit up against the headboard. Lo stared into his eyes, like he couldn't believe he was really there.

"Meus, I had the most horrible nightmare… I… I was…”

Remus pulled him close, letting his warmth, the pressure of his embrace tell Lo he was right there with him. 

Shaking and with a sob stifled against his chest, Lo clung to him. “I was was back at the old house… with… with her," Rage simmered in Remus' chest but he just held Lo closer. Hadn't that bitch done enough to him? She can't even leave his dreams in peace?

Lo pulled back, eyes wide and shivering. “It wasn’t a memory… It was… it was like I’d never… never left.” He shook his head like he could somehow shake away the vision. “And I couldn’t wake up.” He shuddered, a tiny sob slipping past his control as he shook his head and hid his face against Remus' shoulder.

“Shhh, you’re safe, Love… You’re safe,” he whispered over and over as he rocked him, waiting until his trembling stopped. A muffled screech at the back of his mind poked at Lo's words, at his fear of sleeping, of waking to him not being there. Of waking and talking about a different path… Remus shook his head and, when Lo had calmed, he bit his lip, clearly and obviously, waiting for Lo to recognize the gesture. "See?" he tried to laugh, showing Lo there was nothing to be afraid of. Kicking away the little voice that asked if he was so sure. "You're really here, Love.”

“I’m really here." Lo repeated their mantra. He kissed the tiny cut on Remus' lip, the sting further proof this was real, they were real. “It was… it was just a bad dream. A terrible dream.”

Remus nodded and pulled Lo close, hand carding through his hair as he slowly drifted back to sleep. Remus lay awake until after the sun had begun to rise, trying to square the fear he'd seen in Lo's eyes that night and fighting the doom in his chest, warning that something, somewhere had gone horribly wrong.

[perrieedwards]

i feel like people are skimming over the uk riots in a way that makes me want to tear my hair out. muslims in the uk are in active danger. immigrants in the uk are in active danger. refugees in the uk are in active danger. people of colour in the uk are in active danger. asian communities in the uk are in active danger. black communities in the uk are in active danger.

there are massive far right riots throughout the country right now and people like fucking elon musk and nigel farage are inciting it and still have a platform to speak. people have used three young girls deaths, people's genuine grief in southport, to try and gain traction for their own racist bullshit and it's working.

a lot of refugee charities have been forced to close leaving many people without support, homes, funding, food, etc. if you aren't able to donate please consider sending a message via the conversation over borders campaign! it will send a hopeful, welcoming letter to a refugee in the uk. there is also a guide to staying safe here.

please do your own research and donate to refugee charities, anti-islamophobia charities, mosques who are trying to rebuild after being destroyed, counter protesters, here are some i've heard positive things about but the list is extensive; southport strong together (support for the southport victims and their families), southport mosque rebuilding, riot repair fund, middlesbrough vulnerable residents, nasir mosque rebuilding, hull help for refugees, bristol welcomes migrants,

[ofswordsandpens]

idk why people get super pedantic about the movie logic in Home Alone and start and try to pick it apart, because like, its a Christmas movie about a child accidentally being left home alone, the premise isn't exactly asking us to suspend our disbelief that much, and yet nearly every single "gotcha" question I see people bring up about this film is literally answered within the first 15 minutes :/

[ursiday]

I cant stop thinking about that horse pic