#Im supposed to be writing an essay but this took over my brain

[cowpokezuko]

Fuck it Wilson dancing to Against the Kitchen Floor by Will Wood.

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

@intertexts OKAY. FINALLY GETTING MY SHIT TOGETHER AND WRITING THIS ALL DOWN SO ITS NOT JUST ROTATING IN MY BRAIN ANYMORE

NEW HAVEN WARDS MARK WINTERS ESSAY (except its more like. stream of consciousness me being insane over him)

>> its been too long, simurgh is too close. she fucking ROCKS half the city with an earthquake before she shows up. ashe runs inside as the roof collapses. his mom is trapped- she had grabbed her phone and some other small essentials and was on her way out when she got pinned by the rubble. ive typed this part out already in another post but as shes yelling at ashe trying to get him to leave, she realizes he wont go by himself so she texts mark . its kind of a shot in the dark- part of her hopes he hasnt evacuated yet so he can come get ashe and get him to safety, but she immediately feels this sense of dread for thinking like that because then that also means he's in as much danger as they are. and she can hear the singing now- some tiny part of her brain logically knows its too late and theyll be trapped by the quarantine protocols anyway, but. they can still get out of that alive. they just need to get there. anyway the important thing here is that the last thing ever hears from his wife is a text that says "ashe athome cant lea e come get hjm"

adding jonesys stupid fucking image in here bc it's so funny to me and is fr how I felt typing this whole thing up for like 4 hours

>> okay going to try my hardest to keep this chronological but i KNOW i will get distracted from that halfway through. starting from the simurgh attack. assuming simurgh attacks look pretty similar to each other, ive been imagining this a lot like the one we actually got to see with the travelers. the notice to evacuate went out in the early afternoon. (im going to say on a wednesday because thats the day i used in my fic and this is OUR AU i get to make the emotionally devastating rules. not that that matters to anyone but me. its a little treat.) so. mark was at work, ashe was at school, i like 2 think ashes mom works in somehting to do with old things or books or whatever so she was probably at work too. her IMMEDIATE thought is to go get ashe from school, because of course it is! (worldbuilding side note i think there are probably evac protocols in place for schools where. first priority is to keep the kids Togehter and get them out first so theyre SUPPOSED to evacuate straight from there and then meet up with their parents when everything is safe. but in a real emergency what parent is going to trust that and just leave their kids safety up to someone else?) she gets to the school and it is absolute chaos with all of the other parents trying to do the same thing. she gets ashe, goes to call mark to tell him where they are and- oh, yeah. she forgot her phone at home this morning. i just. like. the mundanity in that. its a normal morning, she maybe woke up late and had to rush out the door, got to work realized she didnt have her phone, had the thought like "damn thats frustrating. oh well, not like ill need it, ill just get it when im home later" we've all had days like that!!!!!!!!! but it becomes fucking heartbreaking in this situation because it means she now has No Way of contacting her husband to let him know that she has ashe and to tell him not to go to the school (because hes probably thinking the same thing) and to get out and where to meet them when theyre out. she KNOWS its a bad idea, she knows it would be catastrophic if they took too long... but all the other cars are going in the opposite direction, the road back is completely empty, surely they can be fast enough? she knows exactly where she left it, itll take two seconds and hey maybe the roads will be empty enough at that point they can get out even faster. so they fucking RUSH back home. she tells ashe to stay in the car wiht the doors locked while she runs inside.. he is scared and confused and doesnt want to be alone so after. maybe 30 seconds of her being gone he gets out of the car and goes inside.

>> switching to mark pov finally. evac notice goes out, he fucking books it to his car. but because its important to me that hes a little bit of a coward. this is where he hesitates. he knows he should find his family. meet up with them, make sure theyre all okay and they all make it out together. he's also logical. he knows this is a bad idea and his wife's job is closer to the school, shes probably already got ashe and theyre on their way out too. he can just leave. but he hasnt heard anything from her. thats not like her, she would call or something if they were okay, wouldnt she? so he kind of. panics over what he should do. he starts driving, telling himself he'll make up his mind on the road. hes about halfway to the end of the quarantine zone when he gets the text. has a moment of "fuck why are they there?" before immediately deciding to go get them. finds the aftermath of ashe's trigger. ashe is in breaker state, unresponsive except for... why is he laughing. hes sitting on the floor, knees up to his chest hands over his head jsut kind of. staring into the middle distance eyes unfocused quietly loopy laughing like hes totally unaware of the. scene.

>> mark is like. frozen there for a minute obviously horrified and he thinks ashe is having some kind of mental break at the shock and horror (he doesnt. understand that ashe killed her yet) until he goes and tries to get him to stand up and . oh the floor is unstable and bouncy like a trampoline and as soon as he touches ashe's shoulder hes knocked back by a pain in his hand that suspiciously feels like a joybuzzer turned up to 11. okay! fuck! his kid is a fucking parahuman and his wife is dead and the singing in his head just keeps getting louder and he knows what that means and he knows they have to get the hell out of there but hows he gonna do that when he cant get within 5 feet of ashe-

>> i think he just has to like. sit there and talk to ashe. which is a uniquely horrible punishment because it kills so much time in a situation where they need to get out, now, and the whole time theyre in the same room with whats left of a bloody corpse (but he cant think about that right now) and he has to be calm and keep his voice low because every sudden movement makes ashe's powers flare up again in response to a perceived threat- its MESSY, its SLOW its TERRIBLE but he needs ashe to calm down enough that he can actually talk to him and get him out. he eventually does (it feels like hours later, it was probably only like.. 10 minutes) and the weird distortions stop and mark just. runs forward and picks him up and takes him out to the car before ashe can. see what else is in the room.

>> he doesnt even bother putting ashe in another seat in the car he just holds him in his lap as he drives (oh god there are wings in the sky) just. as fast as he fucking can to whatever checkpoint or hospital or safe zone there is for any survivors. theres. not many. enough that the two of them can get lost in the crowd if they try hard enough but . not enough to fill an auditorium. he's maybe got a bunch of really small scrapes or bruises from the process of trying to get ashe to calm down but he doesnt know whether ashe is actually hurt or not so he goes to find some sort of medical attention and the whole time hes thinking "maybe this is a bad idea. i shouldnt tell them ashe has powers what if they take him away" and he gets the same sort of rundown about quarantine and payment that krouse got and mark is just standing there fucking shaking, hes still carrying ashe, he hasnt put him down since they left the house (ashe is still out of it- not because of his powers but because of. everything) and i think thats the breaking point where mark makes up his mind like. fuck this. we cant stay here, we cant go through all of the bullshit protocols, we cant wait that long (he can still hear simurgh in his head- what if shes pushing him to make this choice? is that exactly what she wants? who cares im getting my son somewhere safe)

>> i think mark is really good at. compartmentalizing and pushing down any emotion thats not anger and turning to logic in panic situations rather than emotion. so he hasnt like. fully processed any of this yet. he was more focused on "solve the problem, get out, get safe" to actually think about the fact that. oh my wife is dead. ashe doesnt have a mom anymore. ashe has powers now. how is he gonna deal with a powered kid? he never really cared about capes what does he even do now? i dont think any of this hits him until theyre out of the quarantine zone hiding out somewhere safe (as safe as they can be after. all of that) and his head is quiet and ashe is asleep and he looks down at his phone and sees the text and it all comes crashing down like. oh my god that was real. shes gone. he doesnt even have anything of hers and he never will because their house is basically gone and they can never go back and- FUCK HIM UP!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK HIM UP i want him to have a fucking breakdown . villain origin story moment he realizes nothing is ever going to be okay or normal ever again because theyve been marked by simurgh and hes already broken a huge fucking law how much worse can it get? what else does he have to lose. everything in his life revolves around keeping them safe and keeping ashe out of danger. simurgh be damned if hes going to become an agent of chaos it might as well be on his own terms to protect whats left of his family.

>> i think they move around a lot after that, never staying in one place for too long, never doing anything that make people look at them too closely. mark does a bunch of odd jobs, but its hard to get a job when youre legally dead and have no experience with making a fake identity so. theres a lot of stealing. never anything that would garner cape attention, at least at first, and if people started to get too suspicious theyd just pack up and move again.

>> and then mark does something that DOES draw cape attention. idk what it would be, but it captures the attention of. a guy who knows a guy who works for overlord. hey man you seem like you could use a job. off the books. so he joins up as like a... foot soldier mercenary whatever for overlord. this job is risky- hes essentially a full time criminal now (but what does that matter, he already broke the law), he has to spend extended periods of time away from home, he has to kill people sometimes now... but the money is worth it. he's okay with being a number, a blank face in the crowd, because it means he wont get the immediate fallout if something goes wrong. that gets put on whoever his boss is. ashe is maybe 13/14 by this point, he can take care of himself at home. mark gives himself a limit, hes never going to be away from home for more than 3 days (which he eventually extends into 5 days, which then turns into a week-). he is. really fucking good at his job. hes smart, he can be ruthless when he needs to be, he's efficient. no identity means no friends which means no slacking off on the job. this is all he has, he needs this, so hes good at it.

>> he starts to move up the ranks, take bigger (but never riskier) jobs, and it catches overlord's attention. overlord offers him a promotion. offer being in air quotes here. he lays everything out plain and simple- youre good, youre going to join my personal elite team, i know who you are and why youre running. i can offer you an out, get you and your son (oh god oh fuck overlord knows about his kid) a new life, a new identity, nobody will have any reason to suspect you. and also in order to join you have to take this (cauldron vial!!! + canon parallel to the like. forced experimentation on harttawa)

>> mark doesnt want pwoers. he doesnt want to be a cape. but overlord knows about ashe, knows about their history, and if he turns down this offer theyre both fucked. so logic takes over emotion again and he accepts it, leans into the position, stays as fucking ruthless as ever. but its Different now. hes a cape, he has a secret identity, a name, people are Looking at him now, even if all they see is a costume.

>> silly sidebar for ME here but this period of time is where he meets tide :] forever thinking about ur nhw tidalwave post. fight to maim, not kill.

>> a couple years pass like this and its Fine. ashe is 17 now, mark knows hes fucked up (theyre both fucked up) but hes too deep into this job now to give it up. its kept them safe and in place for this long, he can fool himself into believing they can stay like this . ashe does not have the same train of thought. hes lonely, hes miserable, hes bored, he just wants to have a life! they fight a lot about this. they fight a lot about this and sometimes mark leaves in the middle of it because he gets called on a job so nothing ever gets resolved. they have a particularly rough fight and mark gets pulled away in the middle of it to answer a phonecall, and when he comes back ashe is still pissed but hes just so tired and defeated that hes like "listen. we'll deal with this later, i have to go for a few days, there are groceries in the fridge, do whatever you want, just stay here, be safe, dont be stupid" and then he leaves! and ashe is still pissed and his dad is a hypocrite (why does he get to go out and use his powers and put himself in dangerous situations when ashe gets in trouble for floating the tv remote to the kitchen table while hes eating breakfast, and never gets to leave the house or go to school or have friends or-) . and this is where he makes the decision to sneak out the first time!!

>> he starts sneaking out more often, usually only when he knows mark is gonna be gone for extended periods of time, he gets good at disabling the tinker devices, he has friends!! everything is good!!!! mark finds out when he gets home from a job early and ashe is gone. and he fucking freaks out, hes ready to tear up city streets, hes ready to go on a fucking rampage... but then he hears the window open as he climbs back into his room . its a big like. "oh shit" moment on ashes part, he doesnt think hes ever seen his dad this angry before, he threatens to put bars on the goddamn windows, etc (mark has a reason to be as angry as he does- if anything ever happens to ashe everything hes ever done will have been for nothing. but its still. harsh.)

>> i think once everything cools down from this they do have an actual talk about it that isnt a fight; ashe tells him he has friends now and he just wants to be normal, be a kid, he cant spend anymore time in his room its killing him knowing hes wasting his life like this etc. i think mark maybe reluctantly agrees to letting him go out with his friends (he doesnt know who they are yet, ive GOTTA believe he knows tide hes had to have fought or at least seen the wards before, theres no way he would say yes to this if he knew thats who ashe was talking about) but gives him strict like. dont use your powers ever, curfews and check in texts and a code system and its a little Too Much but ashe is just. giddy at all of it because !! curfews are a thing Normal kids get!! he gets to go hang out with his friends without the looming threat of sneaking out to do it !!!

>> ashe starts using his powers anyway because his friends are capes and !!! he is also technically a cape!! he can help!!!! i think he starts out by beggingggg to go on patrol with them sometimes (i wont even do anything, i just want to see what its like, you guys know i have powers too i can handle myself, dont be like my dad etc etc) i think the wards are pretty reluctant to do that bc they know what its really like but. man. its ashe. he deserves Something. it becomes more frequent and serious and the prt handler tells them they should recruit him.

>> mark is sooooooo fucking against ashe joining the wards. because of course he is he has to be. ESPECIALLY considering. hey. hes a villain, working for one of the most notorious villains in the city, being put in a situation where he has to choose between fighting his son or losing overlords protection is a HUGE NIGHTMARE SCENARIO. (he would choose to say fuck overlord with no hesitation, no way he would even consider the other option, but he also knows what kind of consequences a choice like that would have)

>> hey. actually. that gives me an idea. what if thats exactly the scenario that leads up to the whole trickster thing. overlord wants to be proactive, launch an attack on the wards, they just got a dangerous new member lets go see what kind of powers theyve got. mark obviosuly refuses. overlord does not take being told no very kindly. hey what if this is how mark gets the lizard stuff. instead of getting it as a side effect mutation of his powers, he pisses off overlord, the guy who has a morbid fascination with animal human hybrids and genetic experimentation. ive solved everything!!!!!! (<< guy who is fucking insane. please imagine me with mad science hair and crazy eyes as i am saying this. dr. cross who?)

>> mark effectively goes missing while overlord has him captive, ashe is freaked out because his dad has never left without telling him first, but maybe it was an emergency or whatever... until his hard limit on jobs passes. its been over a week and no contact whatsoever. hes gone. ashe gets fucked up about this

>> mark is unconscious for the entire trickster thing. he was unmasked for the experimentation so when the heroes come to clean up the aftermath they dont recognize him as one of the villains (tide does. tide doesnt tell anyone) and take him to. a hospital rather than prison. he is fuuuucked up when he wakes up. gotta adjust to a WHOLE lot of freaky lizard things. hes kind of out of it, understandably, so nobody... tells him. its only a few days later, when mark is more lucid and can stand on his own two feet without losing balance, and when he can see properly again, tide visits him (tide has been visiting him the whole time, not that he'd remember it much, because who else will. who else will!) tide tells him ashe is missing. he breaks the news as gently as he possibly can because its gonna be a shitshow either way (he knows how mark is gonna react no matter what. waiting doesnt help either because then hes just pissed that he was lied to for days ("you coudlnt even stand, how was i supposed to tell you then?" "i dont know, i wouldve done something. he could be anywhere by now")

>> mark goes sooooo rogue. he goes so very rogue. hes literally got nothing to lose anymore. the wards try to work with him, try to help him, because theyre looking for ashe too, but he thinks theyre too slow, too good, too afraid to do things that actually need to be done. he goes too far and gets put in the birdcage.

>> i think he probably loses it a little bit in the birdcage. hardcore despair depression that turns into just this awful terrible rage. hes mad at himself for not being able to stop it, hes mad at ashe because this is what he WARNED him about for YEARS and if he only would have listened, hes mad at the world, hes mad at SIMURGH . all nhw mark winters knows is be so full of grief and rage at all times

>> breaks out of the birdcage (still insane abt this btw) and goes back on his. sort of rampage. the wards stop him (tide is. retired at this point. that happened while mark was in jail) and they try to talk some sense into him, maybe they get him to slow down just a little bit, enough to tell him what theyve learned (not much). mark and everyone else eventually learn about muse. mark winters worlds most miserable man is watching every single one of his nightmares play out in front of him and he realizes this is what simurgh marked them for. hes watching his son, unmasked, level a fucking town in some gaudy outfit he knows ashe would never wear and hes calling himself muse and thats not what his laugh sounds like and

>> okay im a little more fuzzy past this point. i said this mostly joking before but i DO think there should be a moment where. mark is up against muse and hes trying to talk to ashe like he did that first night to get him out of breaker state and ashe gets one lucid moment where he just starts crying and babbling about losing marks jacket and hes so sorry but that only lasts about 2 minutes before trickster gets control of him again. this is the catalyst for them realizing that yeah, ashe IS still in there and it might be possible to break him out .

>> god. all of that was plot and i didnt even talk about Little Things which are my favorite. heres a collection of Little Things:

>> i want him to keep his weird terrible lizard biology <3 maybe its not as smooth a transition as in canon, maybe hes just got the scales and the eye and not. the tail or infrared sense or whatever. but he Could. as a Treat for Me.

>> i actually... ironically think mark is a better dad in this au than he is in canon. like. dont get me wrong hes still awful and he sucks but. hes working with the knowledge here that no matter what he does he and ashe are still doomed and hes always waiting for the other shoe to drop and hes more scared and theres nothing he can do about it so. he makes more of an effort to Actually Care about his son. before overlord he never wouldve missed a birthday for anyhting. theyre all each other has.

>> that little bit of dialogue i typed up for mark earlier. stay here, be safe, dont be stupid. be safe, dont be stupid. he says that a lot, always in that order. enough that when ashe is with the wards sometimes he'll also say it. dakota "im going to pick up the pizza" ashe from the couch "be safe dont be stupid" (IMMEDIATE recoil as he thinks about it for more than a second because he has an oh god i sound like my dad moment. but everyone else finds it endearing)

>> THE COAT!!!!!!!! THECOAT. i think about the coat a lot. its just. a random one that ashe grabbed from the closet the first time he snuck out. but it was a good size, exactly as baggy as he likes, hey! he found old money in the pocket! so he just like. claims it as his own and neither of them ever say anything about it but its suuuuch. comfort clothing for ashe and he doesnt like thinking about why. it just is. he wears it EVERYWHERE all the time, its the one piece of clothing the rest of the wards never steal beacuse they know its important to him.

>> there is exactly one (1) surviving picture of ashes mom outside of their old house and its a crumpled polaroid mark had in his wallet from when ashe was a baby.

>> he will never admit this to himself or anyone else but. as much as mark is scared for ashe and scared for both of their safety and what it means for them to be simurgh victims... he is also scared OF ashe, even just subconsciously . he has nightmares about finding ashe that day, laughing. about what mightve happened if he wasnt able to break ashe out of that state. about what mightve happened if he had never gotten that text and continued on with the evac protocols. i need that blonde man to be fucking miserable

>> literally always thinking about your tidalwave post. never not thinking about your tidalwave post. i dont even have much to add here other than i really like nhw tidalwave a lot. the aftermath of the leviathan fight makes me crazy even if thats mostly one-sided on tides part.

>> his tinker specialty is power enhancement. he makes devices that make his and other peoples powers stronger or extend their range. the drawback is that the devices need to be Connected to the person using them in some way (thinking about the ports he has on his back in canon. his gauntlets clamp down on his forearms. overlord had him make each of the capes under his power something that enhances them too so theyve all got little. gadgets embedded in them somehow) (begs the question can he also make things that dampen powers? is this falling too far into Trump category?)

>> he got ashe his headphones as a birthday present when he was like... 15 . their fights had been getting more frequent as he had to be away from home more and ashe was fully in his angsty teen "i hate my dad" phase, but mark had been working w overlord for like a year at that point and money wasnt as much of an issue anymore so he got ashe like. the most high quality noise cancelling headphones he could possibly find.

okay i think thats all. its nearly 1am lmao!!!!!

[intertexts]

OK OK SINCE U ARE PRETTY FAR INTO PD NOW. I NEED TO ASK. DO U HAVE A FAVORITE CHARACTER. do u have a favorite moment. whos backstory are u the most interested in seeing. what are u excited to learn about the world . I AM PUTTING UR BRAIN UNDER A MICROSCOPE AND DISSECTING IT IVE GOTTA KNOW. what villains are u most afraid of. write me an essay on ur feelings about mark winters. etc etc etc etc WHATEVER U WANNA TALK ABT RN im standing in the middle of a field like a scarecrow and just SCREAMING at the sky

OHHHHHH MAN DUDE LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO CHOOSE A FAVORITE OF ANYONE. FUCKK. GOD.

ok putting all of this under a cut because its so fucking long???

ok ok ok. lets see. they r all so so so good it's impossible 2 choose but also iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii really fucking like dakota dude..... i like him so much. so much. i will admit. i am a massive fucking fan of a character who stays silly. massive fucking fan of the emotional king dedede hammer that comes down when the silly guy drops the silliness. i love it when characters literally r incapable of processing their emotions. gebuinely i don't know what he put in that guy but it is cartoonish the way my neurons light up at him its not quite akechi from p5 levels of FUCKKK YEAH THIS GUY MY FUCKED UP LITTLE GUY!! but it is Getting Close!!!

whose backstory.... fuck. okay. Most interested in wiwi's backstory. of course. i AM really interested in vyncent's whole deal but i feel like his fucked up knife that possesses him (?????????) is slightly more of a specific thing than backstory. and i DO wanna know howww the jrpg protag isekai'd here but also like. consider... wiwi. also i wanna know if im right & ashe/ashes fucked up demon grimoire r responsible for his mom's death. ALSO I WANNA KNOW WHY MARK'S A LIZARD GUY.

FAVORITE MOMENTS SO FAR.... i LOVED the spirit world shit it was all so cinematic it was so lovely. usually im dogshit at like, visualizing descriptions in my head? but all of that was very much oh, yeah for sure, ive seen this cartoon! i know whats happening! that whole episode went hard as fuck. can't believe we got vyncent with a gun ashe going holy shit why am i fucking doing this imgonnadie william having a horrifying crisis over eating a fucking soul & dakota getting murked in one episode. & mal is just. on just. such a different level such a different world from Anything else they've experienced. its so good.

also i still really love the winding-down end of that amalgam island ep (5?) where they r exhausted & coming off so many huge emotions & stress & stuff & tide arrives.... that's really the scene that fucking hooked me i think. going ohhh yeah theyre just fucking kids and everyone at this table Knows theyre kids in a world where people will just fucking kill you. like,, yeah, it WOULD be fucked up if you were seventeen and ran into an island full of horrifying human and animal experimentation & abuse!! and theyre not playing it as a motw adventure where its just sillygoofy? ok. ok!! maybe these guys know where theyre taking it. like i can count on one hand maybe the amount of times ive been like "yeah im sure whatever the creators do will be good they've always done good & thoughtful work. i don't have to continually be delegating brain space to how im dissatisfied with this story." so i guess. i just like the show a lot!!

what am i most interested in about the world... ohhh man i love cape worldbuilding it's maybe like one of my favorite things. so i guess i'm interested in All of It?? in an overall probably-wont-be-answered-because-its-not-that-genre way i'd love 2 know what religion looks like in a world where JESUS IS A TRADEMARKED SUPERHERO & kids can come back from the dead. id love 2 know more ab the dynamic btwn politics & the cape world here thats always interesting? i really enjoy the approach they took 2 the kid heroes in the beginning, as in: these guys are literally still students they are not Supposed to be doing big hero shit. theyre not supposed to be doing teen titans or x-men shit & it is in fact a massive massive fuckup on their guardian's part when they Are in those positions. i'm a big fan of that i like it a lot more than the alternative. (unless yr like in a world like parahumans where there Is a narrative & in-universe reason why child & teen cape teams exist)

what villains am i most afraid of....... ok i kind of feel like being afraid of mal is like, being afraid of hurricanes or something. like sure i can be nervous about him but i can't fucking do anything if he's coming this way. so it's better i think to not think about it until it comes up & then pray. so i guess i AM really concerned about the overlord stuff. i dont know where it's gonna go but i know it'll be nowhere good & i know it'll end up getting people hurt. so.!!!!!!

[bambimeadows]

💕hint at Spoilers 💕

Big rant now. In regards to the ending, do you know what honestly annoys me more than *that big shocking thing* happening? Because honestly I hate it, hate how they did it, but I kind of get why they’ve done it and suspect how this series is ultimately going to end.

What annoys me more is how easily they let Makarov escape. In this essay I will- 😅

And this is a common theme in the vast range of lazy writing cards they use for campaigns, but this took the piss.

Because he ran away and after like not even 5 seconds Gaz was like, “they’ve gone.” Sorry? He’s gone? What do you mean beloved? How far do you think he could have gotten in 5 seconds? Not even a lazy ass police officer would act like that, they’d still make some effort to pursue him after he runs off. Why were they so sure he was long gone? (He factually couldn’t have been) Why were they so sure chasing him would have been useless? Because logistically, technically, objectively, even mathematically in a space and time sort of way, it wouldn’t have been useless, at all.

And What, it was determined he was gone just because a train whizzed past? The train whizzing past doesn’t mean Makarov teleported to a completely new location, wait for the train to pass (it takes all of 3 seconds) and then go after him? Run!

Realistically (since we know they love realism now haha) Ghost at least should have still ran after him while Price and Gaz were dealing with the bomb, and canonically if they’re not employing lazy writing devices, Ghost would have. Like let’s get down to it, Ghost’s character. He loved Johnny like his own brother no doubt about it, but with who he is and the way he is, that would spur him on to chase Makarov down like a rabid dog does a bunny, not just instantly accepting he’s escaped AGAIN. He’d know launching into action is more effective and beneficial to Johnny’s memory than just kneeling in sorrow, very helplessly. Paying respects can be done after he’s avenged. Makarov would have still been in the general vicinity while he just kneeled there looking over the body, and isn’t Ghost suppose to be like peak physical capability? If he sprinted he’d be able to surely at least see them and keep following them, if not probably catch up to them and start shooting. And even after Gaz and Price finished disarming the bomb they could have chased after him too. I’ve been racking my brain like, Unless that door leads directly outside and there was a car parked literally right outside the door, but how do they know that? Was it maybe that only Makarov could open that door? Nothing to indicate so and again, how would they know? And surely there’s a car parked outside too to chase him in if believing that he jumped in a car is their reason for determining him long gone after 10 seconds? I know damn well there’s no helicopter waiting for exfil in the streets of london. Look, even if they *tried* to chase after him and couldn’t find/catch him in the end, that would have still at least made some sense and not have been so lazy and dumb.

Idk, maybe I’m spiralling about it but just lazy, nonsensical, vapid shit like that is what really makes me lose faith in their ability to do anything other than peddle warzone. Laziness and illogical writing just so they can justify another campaign consisting of nothing else other than chasing Makarov around the world in 5 hours. It’s just so irritating. The boys are so so good at everything, made out to be the most strongest smartest best boys in the world , but when it comes to Infinity Ward’s special favourite antagonist they suddenly become amateurs, when he’s right there in front of them it suddenly becomes like they’re not that fussed about catching him at all, but that’s all forced so he can live to see another game. It’s such a disservice to their characters. Also Even the fact that he’s been thrown in a gulag previously as well, im sorry but don’t they just execute terrorists left right and centre, why not him? It’s never really explained why they simply must keep him alive? Irl, if they can come face to face with the most dangerous terrorist in the world multiple times and continue to let him slip through their fingers they should all be fired. You know what I mean? In actual fact TF141 has been written to be pretty incompetent, but that’s definitely not the message Infinity ward is trying to put out, instead we’re suppose to act like it makes sense and it’s believable. This wasn’t an ending, it’s hardly even a cliff hanger because we more or less know what to expect. And don’t even get me started with the after credit scene that I missed and only got alerted to on tumblr, again, why? Where does so much lack of effort come from with these people? Is general shepherd’s character not worth more than some shitty slap dash after credits scene? Are you actually joking me? And can I just say as well… I’m not the most educated on all this stuff, but a British SAS soldier or CIA operative, apparently! idk, shooting a very important American war general while he’s just sat in his office? Is that really… is that really something that seems plausible? you know what I mean? Even when they were threatening to shoot him in that whatever the fuck snow mission while he was just stood there not posing any threat, I just thought, mmm can you do that though? Should you do that? That seems like an awful fucking idea? I know you commit war crimes when forced to sometimes but you’re not war criminals…? I hate to go off on a tangent here but may I take you back to MW2 (reboot) where they had to release Hassan because they was scared of fall out with Iran, but they suddenly think that them, British military, shooting an American war general is the right thing to do… right. And I don’t mean I respect the title, I’m saying that this would probably realistically (because remember they love realism when it suits them) be something that would stop THEM just murdering him? It was entirely necessary and needed to take down the last shepherd, he was an outright and literal murdering psychopath and we had no choice to kill him in the end anyway because he was actively trying to kill us, but this one? It just didn’t make sense. They should have at least had him take out a gun and try to shoot price first, that way it would have made sense. It’s just so confusing. Price is suppose to be this smart well verse man, but they made him do something so stupid, reckless and unnecessary? Besides, So much more could have been done with this Shepherd and his storyline, especially following that weird court scene with him and Graves, could have given us something actually potentially interesting and unique, I know that’s an alien concept to infinity ward, but they could try it! So yeah In all I don’t get that decision either. Just so they could quickly get rid of him so they don’t have to write him in the new campaign and they can focus all their attention on their special weshial precious Makarov. And the new Makarov sucks ass too! Wtf have they turned him into- let me stop because I could go all night.

It’s all just so lazy, there are soooo many other dumb stupid moments and choices in this campaign but idk I’m done😔✋ Unless they tell me Alejandro is in MW4 I will not be buying. Now I wait for the multiplayer to release and disappoint so I can be shown that I wasted more money than I thought.

[tojikai]

(My very detailed rant on the latest chapter of PM. I apologize again for the length, I wrote an entire essay)

So it wasnt just a kiss, a simple peck on the lips that Satoru would be shocked about and regret later it was a full on makeout session, and he still had the audacity to reassure Y/n he never cheated. Disgusting.

I really love the way you described the car scene with Satoru and Rie, it made me feel like I was supposed to understand Rie, to pick her side after listening to how she felt at the beginning. But all it did was make me hate her and Satoru more. For one, Rie is desperate, she didn't describe what she found enticing about Satoru, she just described the look in his eyes and how it made her feel. She wants attention and affection from anyone that will give it to her. I dont think she feels guilty because she took Satoru away from Y/n. But, infact its the opposite. I think she feels guilty because she feels no remorse for the damage she has caused.

And Satoru, I hate him even more. The way he so easily got lost in Rie's "charm" angered me to no end. FIVE YEARS in a relationship with Y/n and when a simple high school crush shows up, he's head over heels for her and forgetting about Y/n.

In situations like these, where Satoru childishly succumbed to his feelings. I feel like its better to listen to your brain instead of your heart. Asking questions like…

"Do I see a future with this person" "Am I going to regret what im doing" "Is it really worth it"

Because in the end, he did regret it. Filled with nothing but guilt, and his relationship with his bestfriends are hanging by a thread.

Rie being so immensely hurt by the truth of the situation coming out of Shoko and Suguru's mouths is insane to me. I understand sometimes that some people don't understand the issue of a situation until it's told to their face. But, she literally asks why they care so much about Y/n and not her. Acting as though shes not the bad guy

She tries so hard to be the good girl in this situation, and the hero for Satoru, but all shes really doing is making everything worse. In all honesty, Rie is like a side character that doesn't really matter in the story but was placed there for us to hate.

I usually try to see everyones pov in a story before I downright hate them, but reading Rie's side of the story, and her overflowing jealousy over Y/n, she has no good side to her. There is nothing for me to sympathize about with her.

ESPECIALLY, with the way she continuously reminds us about her growing insecurity of Satoru leaving her for Y/n. I just can't feel bad for her. Because in the end she put herself in this situation. She chose to kiss someone who has a girlfriend. She chose to date that same cheater.

I'm not saying anyone should have to go through this, but again, that brings me back to my "think with your brain instead of your heart"

The argument Rie and Satoru had in their car -albeit horrible for me to do- had me smiling. They are already tearing apart and I loved watching it.

When Satoru brought up why he was mad to Rie, and her excuse was "i didn't even know about it" was so annoying. No one asked if you knew that Y/n was aware of the kiss. This is about why you told a person feeling pain over something you caused, would want to hear about their past relationship that they were trying to heal from, as soon as waking up from a traumatic experience. STOP PLAYING THE VICTIM

OMG JAW DROPPED THE AUDACITY OF THIS GIRL (im writing all of this as im reading) SHE HAD THE AUDACITY TO SAY THAT Y/N WAS PURPOSELY HARMING HERSELF TO GET SATORU'S ATTENTION Are you insane. After observing everything that Shoko and Suguru have done for Y/n up until this point you described her as being kind, and then you say this. STOP TRYING TO BLAME Y/N Y/N ISNT THE ISSUE HERE SHE HAS DONE NOTHING TO YOU GUYS STOP MAKING IT SEEM LIKE IT

I understand you're hurt and insecure, but bringing someone who has done nothing wrong into an argument between you and Satoru is so horrible. You have every right to feel the way you do, but putting the blame on Y/n instead of questioning Satoru is irrational

If Y/n does get with someone at the end of this. I hope its after a few years or months. I just need a time skip. She needs time to heal. To find the person she was before the heartbreak, to find the Y/n before Satoru. She just needs to learn to live without Satoru, and I wish the best for her.

She definitely needs that vacation

oooh wow, i see your point. but Rie isn't really just there for you guys to hate, she and satoru embodies what i always say, "strong feelings or emotions can be blinding," her actions and words are driven by it, which connects to what you said, "think with the brain and not the heart," i love that. our heart or feelings is something out of our control, so we shouldn't trust it so much. following it can lead to a lot of things that we might regret later on. and you're right !! yn definitely needs a vacation after all of that :')) this is a great take !!

[onetimetwotimesthreetimess]

the party doesn't start until i walk in LCBAB reaction let gooooooo

He put on a nice sweater, one without holes in it, and fluffed his hair a bit. He wanted to look nice but also not make it apparent that he had made some effort.

oh alec you virgo (is there gonna be any reaction to your fic where i stop mentioning alec virgo ass? maybe not)

It should be normal to think constantly about your friends 24x7 without it having any romantic intent.

the word alec is looking for is obsession. it always romantic feeling with friend and never a job

Alec wanted to meet the person who introduced the word beautiful. He wanted to ask that person what or who made them use this word and then tell them that beautiful was nothing compared to what Magnus looked like.

dont raise the dead just so you can be a simp its against the death code, dead ppl HR gonna have your head

Magnus jolted awake at that and started screaming. He took out the knife from under his pillow and launched it at Alec.

“Don’t come near me or I will kill you.” Magnus shouted.

when magnus keep a knife under his pillow its revealing detail on him and his background. when i keep a knife under my pillow im a danger to society????

“2nd May.”

no way in hell magnus is a Taurus at least pick a Scorpio date

And Alec was just—Alec.

and water makes things wet. we all know this

“I’m sorry.” Magnus said earnestly and it was all it took for Alec to forgive it.

alec needs to STAND UP i know he can. no virgo should forgive forget that easy stand UP

“Are you really using your childhood trauma to get out of being punched for saying stupid shit?“

Jace pretended to wipe fake tears from his face. “Is it working?”

the fact that you are making me relate to jace...evil?!?!?!?

Because how the hell was he supposed to survive without talking to Magnus for an entire week.

stream midnights by taylor swift it such a good album i know right

“Why does it matter to you? What the fuck does it matter when it is?” Magnus asked angrily.

me when im writing every essay. alec should have replied with "nothing" purely for the aesthetic

i was gonna make a joke about birthday as birthslay but my brain not functioning

Magnus held his face gently and Alec leaned into the touch. “I love you, Alexander. I’ve been in love with you since the day you had that law test and you forced me to quiz you for 48 hours and I hated absolutely every minute of it but I still did it. I love you more and more every day and I don’t know how to stop. And even if I knew, I wouldn’t want to stop.” Magnus breathed.

again stand UP

Alec was 32, and if he was being honest, he didn’t know why people had to work too.

actually nobody knows this it is another Bermuda triangle

“He is in a meeting with Abigail, right now. But he should be free any time now. I’ll just check in.”

um the amnesia au tease? are we okay?

Alec was fine with other people having a thing for Magnus. As long as they don’t act on that desire.

oooh amnesia au gonna wreck alec, serve him right for being a simp we cant be all too lovey-dovey around here

“I tried for ten years and these three convinced you in one night?” Alec said petulantly, bringing a chuckle out of Magnus.

maybe if u stop thinking with emotion and start thinking in strategic mode

this fic is just angst + trauma + alec being mega whipped to the point he can start a whipping cream brand + ari being the cutest + tease for hiadt when alec got dumped and his ex-husband moved on with his ex gf. again LAYERS

“Don’t raise the dead just because you want to be a simp” sent me. Your reactions like always are superior anh>>> I cracked so hard at the entire thing

Simp Alec would never stand up for himself and if you think it’s bad in LRHWY, wait till you read about HIADT Alec getting walked all over himself lmao. Also yes!!! Loved throwing that lil bit of amnesia au tease lmao.

I have honeslty no idea how this fic ended up being as angsty as everyone is saying it was lol. That’s what I’m saying—I can never tell which chapters or fics are going to be angsty and which ones are not. I’m in this with you homies jsjssjsk

P.S. Ari really do be the cutest I am love only one girl

[ickle-ronniekins]

silent confessions

request from nonnie! “Hey erica! I have a request for you, it's a bit challenging i think but I'm sure you'll do perfectly. Imagine like, the fake dating trope with fred, BUT at the end it's a george x reader? Like, imagine george feeling uncomfortable and jealous seeing the reader and fred acting like a couple even though he knows its not real and stuff anyway im obsessed with your writing love you bye”

pairing: fred x reader, george x reader

word count: 3.8k

A/N: wait, i loved this request. so different from the normal fake dating tropes! i hope this lived up to expectations.. idk why i just feel like my writing sort of sucks in this?? wah, idk, sad, feedback pls? also we’ve got some POV changes in this but they’re pointed out ayyyee, thanks for enduring the fluffiest fluff ever bc that’s all i have to give you hooligans

tag list: @mintlibri @georgeweasleyx @seppys-return-to-madness @fopdoodledane @fredd-weasley @iprobablyshipit91 @darling-details @laneygthememequeen @lupinsx @keoghans @helloallthethingsilove @bobduncanlover @dreamer821 @feffffffy @the-hufflepuff-of-221b @62442-am @wtfweasleyy @obsessedwithrandomthings @thoseofgreatambition @sleep-i-ness @shadowsinger11 @shadychaoticcollection @haphazardhufflepuff @afriendlyneighborhoodhufflepuff @hood-and-horan

You

You could practically hear the smirk that grew on his face — he wasn’t exactly being subtle. He took his place next to you in the Great Hall, ignored the fact that you were removing spellbooks and quills from your bag to begin your work, and didn’t bother to heed Snape’s warning glance.

“Hey, Y/N?”

Fred’s voice was a little too sweet for your liking; sweet as sugar, in fact. You knew this voice. It’s the voice he always put on whenever he needed a favor — whenever he wanted something from you. You didn’t look up from the table.

“Whatever it is, I think I’m going to pass.”

He scoffed and closed your spellbook. You grunted in annoyance; you were positive he wasn’t going down without a fight, but you supposed you still needed to try, even though you knew in your heart that this was a fight you wouldn’t win. You turned toward him and he batted his eyelashes at you.

“Dear, dear Y/N — you won’t pass when I tell you what’s in it for you.”

“What type of chaotic mischief that you have planned could possibly be beneficial to me?”

He digested this; you were right, and he knew it. He just shrugged, though, took in your rejection and tried to use it to his advantage.

He nodded across to the other end of the Gryffindor table; there sat Angelina Johnson — fellow Gryffindor, member of the DA, Quidditch captain and, to your most recent knowledge, Fred Weasley’s crush. Again. Boy was crazy about her.

“Thought we already tried this, Freddie?” you sighed, stealing your spellbook back from his very tight grasp and opening it to your desired page. He huffed a bit, and you were quite sure he was remembering the disaster that was the Yule Ball, just a year ago.

You noticed a small grin lift his cheeks; he looked rather smug now, which made you worried. What was it, exactly, that he had planned? “I know last year didn’t go exactly as I’d hoped.” Right. Fred had gotten a little too sloppy on his date with Angelina. She’d been a bit turned off. The night ended and she never pursued anything else; he was so embarrassed, neither did he. Fred Weasley? Embarrassed? The word wasn’t even in his day to day vernacular. But boy, was he shook.

“But it was a long time ago — besides, she’s been sending me all types of signals.”

“I don’t think her eye rolls mean she fancies you, Fred.”

He jabbed you playfully in the ribs. “Don’t be rude, Y/N. I know she fancies me. I just know it. You don’t go on just one date with Fred Weasley.”

You scoffed at his air of egotistical confidence; you shut your eyes at the prospect of him maybe going to someone else for help. Much to your dismay, it didn’t happen. He just stayed where he was, resting his chin on his hand, peering at you longingly as if his staring alone would convince you to say yes to whatever he had up his sleeve. After a few minutes, you said, “If I agree to help you, you prat, will you leave me alone?”

“Can’t say leaving you alone would exactly work with what I’ve got planned,” he replied, relaxing now, tapping his foot underneath the table and not taking his eyes off of Angelina. “I need you to pretend to date me.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Relax, Y/N, I’m not going to pin you against the wall and snog you, if that’s what you’re so worried about,” he laughed, running a hand through his hair. You felt as though your throat was closing up at the mere thought of it. “Just some hand holding, things of the like. Need to make her jealous. Need to make her realize what she’s missing.”

You groaned in frustration. “Can I take back what I said?”

“Nope,” he answered brightly. “You can’t. Thanks for coming along for the ride. Don’t get in too deep, though. No falling in love with me, alright?”

You felt a pang in your chest; you weren’t in love with him and you never would be. He was your best friend and nothing would change that. You knew it and so did he. You felt worried, though. What would others think? What if Angelina did get jealous — but in a bad way? Or worse — what would George say?

His was the only opinion that mattered to you, truthfully.

So that’s how you came to be Fred Weasley’s “girlfriend”, and when you both finally told George what Fred had strategically planned, you were relieved and also a bit upset at how nonchalant he seemed; a small grin tugged at the edges of his lips which sent you into a tizzy. You tried your very hardest to hide your disappointment; you didn’t want to let on how absolutely mad you were for him. So, you supposed, when you thought about this ridiculous stunt one night in your four poster, fake dating Fred would certainly squash any and all suspicions George had (if he did) about you fancying him.

“How’s my favorite couple?” he’d asked teasingly one day in the middle of the common room, sinking into the couch on the other side of you. Angelina then popped in through the portrait hole, and Fred placed his hand on your knee, stroking it absentmindedly. You felt a dull ache in your heart when you saw George’s eyes dart toward Fred’s hand.

Angelina had done the exact same thing; you were able to see a very faint shade of pink flush her cheeks before she stormed upstairs to her dormitory without a word to any of you. Fred immediately dropped his hand and you felt your muscles relax, but not without a quick squeeze to your knee and a cheeky grin. “Brilliant, Y/N,” he said, earning himself a dull grunt from you. Not that you’d done much, or anything, for that matter. But still, your heart felt sore at the thought: you wanted, more than anything, for George to reach over and gently graze your knee, pull you into him, kiss your temple as Fred had been doing the last few weeks.

The dull ache in your heart just seemed to grow stronger.

George

“Help me!”

You frowned. “I’m already in the middle of the other favor your lovely brother asked me to do,” you told him with a slight twinge of annoyance to your voice; however, it wasn’t difficult for him to detect a bit of cheekiness, too — especially when he saw the slight grin that spread itself across your lips.

“I just need some help with this stupid Potions essay.”

George noticed you soften at his request; he supposed it wasn’t as time-consuming as pretending to be someone’s girlfriend, and was rather elated when you agreed. You pulled out your desired books from the shelves in front of you and pointed at an empty table in one of the rows. “Let’s get started then, Georgie.”

But the truth was, he didn’t really need help. He was actually doing surprisingly well in Potions, for the first time since he began at Hogwarts. He didn’t want to let it get to his head, though. He figured there wasn’t anything wrong with getting some extra assistance.

It wasn’t assistance that he yearned for, though — it was you. More importantly, time spent with you. Any time — which he found himself getting hardly any now that you were “dating” his brother. He was first impressed at the idea that you’d decided to help Fred with his ridiculous request, and spent most of the time hanging around you teasing you and taunting you mercilessly for it, earning himself adorable laughs and flustered looks in return. But now, as he watched Fred press featherlight kisses to your temple and snake his arm around your waist at every given moment, all he felt was resentment. Jealousy. Hurt.

He felt himself feeling guilty; he shouldn’t be allowed to feel any of those things, because Fred didn’t know. Nobody knew. Nobody knew how he felt about you. Also, this whole stupid thing was just a ploy, anyway. So he suppressed those feelings everyday until he ended up alone in his dorm room, where he’d kick his trunk and scream into a muffled pillow while he let his brain unwind and digest the day's events.

“Ah — work here is finished,” he said after a few hours in the library. Much needed hours, in fact. He watched as you slowly placed your spellbooks back into your bag. “Thanks for your help.”

And in between those bouts of jealousy and resentment came moments of clarity, moments of affection, overwhelming feelings of admiration toward you. “For you?” you started, a gentle smile on your lips as you placed a hand to his knee, “Anything.”

You

You woke up before the sun and groaned; it was Saturday. Four Saturdays, in fact, since Fred had asked you to embark on this silly endeavor with him. Three Saturdays since you’d begun wondering when this would finally be over. Two Saturdays since Fred had told you sooner rather than later. One Saturday since George had noticeably become off balance.

You felt a pull at your heart when you popped through the portrait hole with Fred and Ginny later that evening after a much needed trip into Hogsmeade; you chewed nervously on the sugar quill you’d purchased as you placed yourself next to the roaring fire, Fred taking a seat next to you on the couch when Ginny made her way to the girls dormitory.

You didn’t know where George was; he hadn’t come to Hogsmeade. Or maybe he did, and he’d just very successfully avoided you both as you ended up, hand-in-hand, wherever Angelina was. With the exception of a few measly youngins on the other end of the common room, you and Fred were alone.

“Freddie?”

“Hm?”

“I really need to talk with you.”

He looked up from his copy of the Daily Prophet he had clutched in his hands. He furrowed his brow and placed the paper on the table in front of him, criss-crossing his legs and peering at you longingly. Then he turned cheeky and wiggled his eyebrows at you. “Must be important,”

You cleared your throat and felt your heart thundering against your ribcage.

You opened your mouth to speak and closed it just the same. You didn’t really know how to ask what you wanted to — to tell him what you wanted to. So instead, you opted for, “How much longer d’you think this is going to last?”

“I dunno — a few days, or so. Why?” He raised his eyebrows. “Sick of me already?”

“Ha-ha,” you replied sarcastically, jabbing him in the chest. “I just — I’m a bit worried —” you broke off and let your mind wander for a moment. You thought about truthfully telling Fred how you felt. Guilty. Upset. Lonely. In love with someone who didn’t seem to notice. Worried he’d find someone else. “I just hope Angelina isn’t getting the wrong idea.”

Fred digested this. “How d’you mean?”

“Well, you want her to run to you in a fit of jealous fury, right?” he nodded curtly, taking this in. “I just hope she doesn’t see us together and instead, turns the other cheek. Looks the other way. Finds somebody else. You know?” But it wasn’t Angelina you were worried about.

Fred thought about this for a moment. You watched as his cheeky expression turned rather stoic, and then a bit grim. “I never thought of it that way.”

Suddenly, you felt extremely worried. You started, “No, no, you know what? I’m being silly — she wouldn’t, because she’s absolutely mad for you, too. Just forget I said anything, okay? I reckon she’ll be round to snatch you right out of my hands this week.” You laughed, but it felt foreign in your mouth. Fred noticed.

“Y/N,” his voice suddenly sounded a lot less like his own — more concerned. “What’s going on?”

Just then, George popped through the portrait hole with Ron, Harry, and Neville. You met his gaze and let it linger for a few long moments. He then smiled brightly, as if he hadn’t been acting strange this entire past week. With a quick wave to you both, ignoring Fred’s motion to come and sit down, he made his way straight up to the boys dormitory. Fred shot you a glance, and you answered his previous question.

“Nothing, Fred,” you sighed, silencing him before he could ask you if you knew what was up with his twin. You hated how painfully true your next words were. “There’s absolutely nothing going on.”

George

George was outside in the courtyard with Ron, Harry, and Ginny. He’d been doing his best to avoid you and Fred at all costs, which was pretty hard when you were his best friend and Fred was his twin. But he tried.

He found himself growing incredibly uncomfortable around you both; the sheer sight of Fred slinging an arm around your waist, intertwining his fingers with yours, calling you his “love” — it sent George spiraling. He didn’t want Fred doing those things. In fact, he didn’t want anyone doing those things. Only him. He wanted you to be his love.

“Georgie?”

You took him by surprise in the courtyard; the others were immersed in a conversation about bets, or something. He, though, was peering up at you, doing his very best to not look as bloody nervous as he felt.

“Can we talk?”

You didn’t give him a chance to answer; you pulled him to his feet and immediately brought him back into the castle. You found an empty classroom and sat yourself down on a desk across from him. He had to resist the urge to spill his guts, tell you everything, grab your face in his hands and confess his unwavering love for you.

So instead, he opted for a generic, “What’s up?”

“I’m not sure..” you started timidly. He could see the shyness in your eyes and he didn’t like it one bit. You? Shy around him? You’d never been. He hated that this is where it had gotten too. “Are you mad at me?”

He was very much taken aback at your forward question; way to cushion the blow. He swallowed a few times, trying very desperately to dislodge the lump that appeared in his throat and hoped to Merlin that he could fool you. “Mad? Of course not. Why would I be?”

You crossed your arms, now looking a bit angered. George felt his insides constrict. “We haven’t spoken in days.”

“I’ve just — been busy,” George lied. His jaw tightened. “Assignments, and things. Detention. You know,” he winked, trying to lighten the mood, “the usual.”

You smiled back, though it was a broken sort of smile. Lonely. It took everything in him not to lean over and kiss it right off of your mouth. “Are you sure? You’d tell me if anything was wrong, right?” He swore he heard more than yearning in your voice; he scolded himself silently for being dishonest. Was your voice breaking? “You’re my best friend.”

Inside his pockets, he clenched his fists. He was going to go for it. Who cared about Angelina? Fred could get her without this ridiculous bloody stunt of his. And George needed to tell you before you fell for his twin, for real, and the both of you ended up heartbroken. He stepped forward, but before he could do or say anything, you slung your arms around his shoulders and squeezed him tight. He felt revitalized at your embrace, like he was reentering his body after having been off balance for months. His fingertips found your hips and he focused solely on the smell of your shampoo, the feeling of your body pressed tightly against him. When you both parted, he took your hands in his. He wet his lips and took a steady deep breath. “Honestly?”

“Darling!”

Fred’s voice, much to George’s dismay, came from the classroom door. Damnit. How had he found you both? The door was closed! Frustration, anger, and gloom raced through George’s body; he was about two bloody seconds away from decking his brother for interrupting. But he couldn’t. Of course he couldn’t. Fred didn’t know. George sighed through gritted teeth, let your hands fall out of his, and backed away slowly.

“”C’mon, love, we’ve got dinner,” Fred called, sounding much happier than George would’ve liked. To him, Fred said, “you coming, mate?”

“Be there in a minute, Freddie.”

Fred grinned brightly and left you both standing in the middle of the classroom, the tension still hanging in the air. You turned back from the door, a solemn sort of look on your face, and asked him, “What were you going to say?”

“Oh,” George’s voice got caught in his throat, “just — been a little stressed. Knackered from class more often than not. Reckon I’ve just got a lot on my mind.”

You frowned. He knew that you were aware not to press on; that was all the information he was going to give. You took a deep breath. “As long as we’re okay?”

“Of course we are.”

“Okay,” you said. You grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “I’m famished. Let’s go eat.”

You

“Did I do something wrong?”

Fred was standing across from you in the common room, arms crossed, shoulders back, and a smirk growing on his face. He laughed at your nervousness. He’d just told you that things were over between you both. You’d asked, of course, just to be courteous. But you were actually pretty bloody excited. “Of course not, Y/N. You’ve done quite the opposite, actually.”

“Meaning?”

Fred walked over to you and placed his hands on both of your shoulders. He wet his lips before a huge, cheeky grin swept itself across his face. He squeezed you. “Angelina cornered me this morning.”

You raised your eyebrows. You were suddenly feeling much more invigorated. You grabbed his face out of pure excitement and shook him. “And? Keep bloody on, would you?!”

He threw his head back and laughed haughtily now. “Haven’t seen you this excited since before we began this,”

“Sorry,” you calmed down and frowned a bit. “Reckon I haven’t been the greatest “girlfriend”...”

A soft smile found its way across Fred’s cheeks. You furrowed your brows in confusion, hoping that he was going to tell you that he and Angelina were finally, wonderfully, officially together, which meant that you and Fred didn’t need to be. But he caught you completely off guard and said, “Don’t blame yourself too much. I reckon it’d be difficult to pretend to date me, especially when you’re in love with someone else.”

You were certain that your heart had jumped directly into your throat; your entire body went rigid at his words. He knew? Who else knew? Did George? Did everyone?  “I don’t.. know what you’re on about, Freddie.”

“Merlin, you are being thick today,” he teased, pulling at your hair and shaking his head. “C’mon. You think I didn’t notice? Each time I’d drop your hand, or unwind my arm from your waist, I saw you steal glances at him.” Fred leaned in to get closer to you and you noticed a light shade of pink wash over his cheeks. Had you been silently confessing your love for George this entire time? “He was stealing them right back, you know.”

You swallowed thickly. Did Fred know more than he was letting on? Where was George? “He was?”

“He’s in the Great Hall.” It was evident to you that Angelina was watching from the other end of the common room, and she was smiling brightly. No doubt, Fred had told her everything. You turned back toward Fred and grinned nervously. He took your hands in his and squeezed them. He simply said, “Go get him already, would you?”

And as quickly as your feet could carry you, you ran swiftly down the staircases, through the corridors, into the Great Hall and all the way to the front, where George was sitting, pouring over a bit of parchment, looking positively ghastly. Adrenaline was coursing through your veins like fire; your cheeks felt hot and flushed and each and every muscle in your body ached from running so bloody fast. “Ah,” he said brightly at the sight of you. “Come here to help me, have you? This assignment is a right load —”

You cut him off, ignored this completely and pulled him to his feet; he peered down at you with a confused expression and opened his mouth to speak, but you cupped his face in your hands, pulled him forward, and kissed him. The muffled moan that escaped his lips gave you your answer — he was certainly shocked. However, it didn’t take him long to melt into it; he was kissing you as though he’d never kissed anyone in his life, like the pure feeling of your lips moulding together with his was the very oxygen pumping through his lungs at that very moment. His hands were tangled in your robes, but he eventually found himself stroking your spine delicately with his fingers, earning himself slight whines from you as he laughed cheekily against your lips. From behind you somewhere, someone said, “Hey Y/N, you do know that’s the wrong twin you’re snogging, right?”

“Oi, shove off, Finnegan!” you called, parting from George only for a moment. “I know which twin it is!”

You turned back toward George and the two of you let out a bit of relieved laughter, limbs still entangled together. “I’ve got a confession to make,” he began, biting down on his bottom lip to keep himself from pouncing on you, “I’ve been wanting to do that for a while.”

“Yeah?” you asked, wiggling your eyebrows at him.

“Pretty difficult to do anything about it when you’ve been dating my brother the last month or so,”

“You’re right,” you told him, pulling a bit on his tie, “but I’m pretty sure he broke down and told Angelina everything.”

George raised his eyebrows at you in surprise. You continued, “Pretty sure he got sick of me being a mopey “girlfriend” because all I wanted to do was be with you instead.”

His sweet smile turned rather sensual. “Is that so?”

“Yeah, that’s so,” you told him straightforwardly, running your hands through his very messy red hair.

Somewhere in the distance, over the sea of people watching you both, Seamus Finnegan shouted, “Wait, has it always been George?”

George actually snorted a bit at this; then he bit down on his lip again, wiggled his eyebrows at you, and asked, “Well — has it?”

You didn’t break your gaze, though; instead, you let your eyes linger on George’s for much longer than you normally would. You were pretty sure that you could hear the steady thumping of his heart against his ribcage, and his eyes washing over you like a cool tide completely sent you into overdrive. Suddenly, you were feeling much more confident than normal. Perhaps it was the way he was looking at you. “Yeah,” you said to George, pressing your lips to his once more, “it’s always been you.”

reblogs, comments, feedback, and all of the above are always appreciated!

[isolemnlyswearpevensie]

Thunder’s Getting Louder | Edmund Pevensie x Reader

Warnings: Fluffy

Time/Era: Modern/High School AU

Word Count: 1.4k

Summary: Y/N and Edmund are best friends until he comes over to help her with college applications. 

Request: Hello!! Im was wondering if you could write and Edmund x reader where they are best friends and one of them has tiktok and then they make the "kiss your best friend" 👉👈 I don't know if I explain it well hehe but if you need and example I can send it to you or if you really don't know what it is do as you please 😅

A/N: Thank you for the request :D I hope you enjoyed! Lmk what you think :)

masterlist | narnia playlist | read on ao3

Being in your last year of school before University is a storm; the whirlwind of applications and tests, the rain of sadness when it comes to leaving your friends, and the thundering excitement of your heart. Y/N’s mind was constantly a hurricane of teenage emotion. 

While she may be the hurricane, her best friend, Edmund Pevensie, was the eye of the storm. No matter what Edmund was faced with, his mind seemed to always be clear and his actions were well thought out. Not only that, but he got early acceptance to his dream college and a weighty scholarship to aid his studies. Early acceptance meant very little stress on his mind and more time to enjoy his final year to it’s fullest. 

“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?” Edmund asked, shoving a forkful of salad into his mouth. His long legs stretched under the lunch table and crossed at the ankles lazily. 

“Nothing, I’m just trying to read the text on this Tik Tok, it overlaps with the caption,” Y/N twiddled her thumb over the screen, trying to make out the message. Edmund laughs carelessly and snatches the phone out of his friend’s hand. He presses the power button with his thumb before places the iPhone facedown on the table. 

“Tik Tok is going to melt your brain, you know. Then there won’t be anything going on in there.” Y/N rolls her eyes and takes a bite from her sandwich. 

“Don’t look at me with that judge mental look in your eye, Pevensie! Maybe you should get addicted to the app like the rest of us!”

“I would but I’d like to keep my brain un-melted.” Edmund took another bite of his salad and a big gulp of his water. “I might need it for next year.” 

Y/N huffed playfully and rolled her eyes. “Ah, right, my bad. I forgot you’re some sort of super genius. Silly me!” Edmund leaned his elbows on the table and shot an amused look at Y/N. “A genius who has eaten a salad for lunch every day since he was 12.” 

“Hey! They’re good, thank you very much!” 

“Live a little, Ed. Eat some ice cream for a change! Download Tik Tok! Run around town naked! I don’t know!” Y/N threw her hands into the air 

Edmund choked on his lettuce, “I am NOT running around town naked!” 

“You’re missing the point!” 

“I don’t think there is a point, Y/N.” 

“Come on, people would eat you up! You have a cute face and girls love cute faces!” Edmund’s cheeks reddened considerably and he reached for his water again. 

“I don’t want them to eat me up, Y/N.” His voice came out as a squeak. 

“Why not? I’d personally love to watch your videos. I’d be your number one fan,” 

“You already are my number one fan,” Edmund smiled shyly towards Y/N. “Anyway, how’s the applications going?” 

Y/N groaned and piled up her trash. “Ugh, don’t even remind me. I have no idea what I’m supposed to write.” 

“I could come by yours after school to help if you want? Maybe that could help ease the storm inside your mind a little.” Edmund took Y/N’s trash and placed it with his own. A large smile graced her face and she nodded enthusiastically. 

“You always know exactly what to do to help, Ed. Thank you.”

Edmund beamed as the bell rang. 

~

You received a message 

You received a message

It was Y/N’s study hall period, so she was trying to get a jump start on her college essays. Y/N glanced at her phone before opening her notifications. One of her friends had sent her a video on Tik Tok.  

this reminds me of you and edmund. 

The video was of a pair of teens, probably a year or so younger than Y/N. The girl in the video was trying to teach the boy a dance while the song Electric Love was playing in the background. When the chorus starts, the girl cupped the boy’s cheek and pulled him in for a kiss. Y/N scrunched her eyebrows as she read over the caption: decided to try the kissing my best friend trend. now were dating #fyp 

Y/N watched the video for a second time. 

why is this me and edmund?

Y/N watched the video for a third time. 

you know why, Y/N. 

By this point, Y/N had watched the video so many times she practically had it memorized; she envied the girl in the video. How did she have so much courage to kiss her best friend? How would Edmund react if she did that? 

Y/N’s thumbed hovered over the sound icon; she needed to see more of these videos. As she clicked the sound, Y/N realized there were hundreds of videos of girls kissing their boy best friends. Y/N chewed the inside of her cheek and scrolled, the hurricane in her head growing more intense. 

Horror stories of Edmund rejecting her or laughing in her face played through her mind. But, still, Y/N couldn’t stop scrolling until the final bell rang. 

~

“My brain is fried, Ed. Can we take a break?” Y/N looked up from her laptop and groaned. They had been working on her applications for nearly two hours and her eyes were beginning to sting from the harsh screen light. 

“Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. We’ve made a lot of progress,” Edmund smiled and sat next to Y/N on her bed. She glanced at his side profile and admired the curve of his jaw. It was so sharp and defined, Y/N couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like to trail kisses up and down it. “What? Is there something on my face?” 

Y/N’s eyes widened ever so slightly. “No, I was just wondering what my chances of you saying yes to making a Tik Tok with me were.” 

“Slim to zero,” He responded, deadpanned. 

“Oh, so there’s a slim chance?” Y/N could feel her heart thumping in her chest. The thunder in her mind storm was so loud, she could have sworn Edmund could hear it. 

“Will it make you stop bugging me about that stupid app?” 

“Yes!” 

Edmund sighed, “Fine, just one. What do I have to do?” 

Y/N stood from her bed and gestured to the open floor space. “Just stand here. I’m, uh, gonna teach you a dance.” Y/N took a deep breath as she set up her phone, clicked the sound, and pressed play. 

Electric Love started playing through the speakers as Y/N began to dance lamely. Edmund, oblivious, started to copy her movements. Y/N’s heart was going a mile a minute and her legs shook under the harsh vibrations of the thunder. She still had a few seconds to chicken out if she wanted. 

Y/N turned towards Edmund and he had the cutest focused expression on his face. His eyebrows were scrunched in thought and his lips were pierced as he tried his best to mimic Y/N’s movements. She took a step closer to him, which he copied, and scanned his facial features. His pink lips were plump and slightly parted, his cheeks held a slight blush and his skin was smooth and perfect. 

Y/N took a final deep breath and pressed her lips to his. 

The music faded out of existence and the world grew blurry; the only sensation she could feel was Edmund’s chapped lips pressed against hers. The kiss was soft and contained, like a gentle rain shower, until his hands found her waist and everything accelerated. Lighting bolts of electricity flowed through their veins, making a single shiver travel down their spines. 

Y/N’s senses were flooded with nothing but Edmund; the familiar taste of coffee on his lips, the smell of mint, the soft material of his shirt, and way his hair ticked her forehead. No one but her and the boy she loved existed at that moment.

Edmund pulled away and looked down at her with his chocolate brown eyes. Y/N had never experienced that look in his eyes, and something about it made her want to experience it over and over. 

“It’s about time,” Edmund mutters, his thumb stroking the skin of Y/N’s waist. He dipped his head down again, catching her lips in another electric kiss. 

[kibumkim]

(1/2) hey Adrian can I rant? nothing deep but I need to talk to someone who hasn’t got brain rot? it’s going to be a little long, sorry for that 😅 to preface: Indian here. now we all know about the bar being low for decent Korean idols. I wanna talk about fans of colour who accept (gratefully) racist bullshit. there is a show called fluttering India (2015) where 6 kpop idols came to India. 2 of them were shinee’s minho and exo’s suho. Here’s what happened during the show. 1. kpop fans protested that their pure baby idols shouldn’t go to dirty and scary india where they can get Ebola. 2. the PD gave the wrong schedule to the fans so they wouldn’t greet them at the airport. 3. Some fans still figured out the right time and waited for 12 hours at the airport. When the idols came, not one fan was allowed to greet them. They were threatened that if they did - the show would not be shot. 4. one guy came with a lot of kimchi because what is Indian food if not unhealthy and dirty. 5. One guy from the kr embassy assisted them to their hotel and one guy used the washroom and needed help from the embassy guy in finding the flush. Because we use manual flushes here. 6. They went to the slums! and Kyu Hoon (super junior) says “Now this is the real india!”. I think it was this show (can’t remember) where one of the guys got spoons because he thought that there will not be one place in the country where he’ll find a spoon. ya know, since we eat with our hands 🙃 8. they were at the Delhi gate when one middle-aged guy approached them to take a pic of him and his wife. comments section? “Omg I’m so embarrassed no one recognised them”, “I’m so glad they took the photo gratefully” like were they supposed to throw a tantrum? the entire comments section was filled with “such a great show! I’m embarrassed that no one recognised them! They should come to India now because every Indian knows their name” like bro did you not see the racism?

(2/2) when you search india Korea on YouTube, you get “do Korean guys like Indian women”, “what do Korean guys think about Indian women”, “reacting to Indian women - women in scantily laid clothes dancing in Bollywood and then calling it Indian culture 😎”, how do the girls react? “So proud they like our culture😌😌”, “I wish to date a guy like you” If they find a video on an Indian girl dating a Korean guy - “omg how did you do it? Will they like me - I’m dark skinned” like omg where’s your self-respect, when did self-worth become synonymous with being liked by guys from another country? It physically pains my heart to see young Indian girls (and black girls and girls from every community of colour) just letting themselves and their culture be disrespected. they are basing their self worth off idols who can’t give a shit and this is going to do so much long term damage to them. I’m so tired of seeing these idols and the entire industry actually disrespect every culture on the map and every single person is always supposed to assume that that not a single person in the entire industry has no clue on any culture but in the same length, all of us are supposed to tolerate every single bullshit thrown our way, liking a group and then wondering if the people in this group view our community as human beings. and then finding out that they don’t! And then having to listen from everyone and even people in your own community to not take it seriously. at this point, I plan on deleting every single kpop song from my library and forget all of this like I’m tired. Sorry for putting this on you. I don’t expect you to write an essay, I just really need to vent to someone who isn’t all about forgiving idols for their “mistakes” which at this point is my entire friend group.

Theres a lot here and I absolutely agree with everything thing you said this may be multiple rbs just to give a full scope of what i think about it so bear with me. But honestly a lot of these girls have internalized self hatred at this point like i knew girls irl that would say stuff like that like they would obsess over what men from other countries who had either no interest in them or didnt even know they existed and that was always wild to me? Like why do that to yourself? I understand liking a celebrity that happens to be a certain race/ethnicity but some of these people are obsessed with these men BECAUSE theyre that race and thats very different and dangerous imo!

Now onto the them actually…protesting them going to india..thats a WHOLE lot like jesus how racist do you have to be to even do some shit like that like i cant even wrap my head around that my god. Also like “im so embarrassed no one recognized them” that shit would happen in America too why even just say that about India specifically? Do they think every other country also knows these idols? And thats not even me down playing their fame a lot of people genuinely just dont pay attention to kpop so they don’t know them.

But yeah we definitely need to address the self hate that so many brown and black people have where they just like u said let themselves and their cultures get disrespected this was a good ask and im sorry that it took me a bit to respond to it!

[zeawesomebirdie]

I'm back! With the time it took me to get around to writing an answer I feel like this is a letter correspondence :')) (I certainly hope this asks finds you well). All of this to say, I may not have read your recs yet, my brains makes decisions on its own and reading them hasn't been one of them, sadly, but the tabs are open in my browser and the names have been written down on my ever-growing list of books that sound super cool, so thank you! I get the fic length thing, and I would say a lot of the fandom actually seems to lean that way? I've read quite a lot of Kylux and Obikin now and there honestly seems to be a bigger proportion of fics on the shorter side compared to like, Harry Potter (which could be me not actually making the maths and just vaguely estimating and being biased, or also due to the fact that HP happens on a way shorter scale with way less elements that "have" to happen (like Starkiller, if it's mentioned it has to explode I feel like, I've never seen a fic where it stays, whereas I couldn't tell you of a similar HP element)) (fandoms are so interesting honestly! I'll stop rambling but it's so fun just thinking about them aaah)

All the deep-dives on wookieepedia got me thinking about trying to create an OC, and now I'm trying to figure out planets where she could have been. There are so many of them, and a lot are either uninhabitable (how many gas giants can they create honestly) or not really places a normal person would go. There's a lot of cool names though (like Empress Teta) and I've found at least two planets that specialise in maths or engineering, plus all the casinos and places we only know because "there was a battle there, during one of the numerous wars but most likely the clone wars". If there are planets you think are fun, I would love to hear about them! I'm just looking at the list of planets on wookieepedia and opening the ones that have cool names, but I know I have to be missing interesting ones haha.

Also since the last ask I've also spent a certain amount of time just... Thinking about more or less anything in the prequels but especially stuff around Obikin and I didn't think that would happen but whoa it happened and my brain won't stop. Since you were my "point of entry" in a way into all this, at least in part, I figured I'd tell you! (That and my friend who's also kinda into SW has made it very clear he was drawing the line at Obkin, which honestly I've done worse but hey) I have a few recordings of my thoughts where I just trail off into like, vague simping over Obi-Wan or essays over why everything is sad in the prequels, or ~ Obikin ~ and I'm having a lot of fun :') I'm hoping this doesn't just disappear in a month or two, that would be disappointing. (I'm telling you all this, I hope you don't mind? You're honestly the closest thing to a fandom friend I have (which sounds sad but it's not I swear) so I'm just rambling here but if you don't like it I'll stop :')) )

- ☂️

Hey there Anon ☂️!! Its great to see you again, how are you? I'm alright i suppose, irl health issues are kicking my ass but we vibing lmao. And I definitely don't mind that this has turned into a letter correspondence! I always look forward to hearing from you!!

My pleasure for the recs, and I totally get that about your brain deciding to not do something :')

Theres definitely a lot more short fics in the obikin and kylux parts than there are in, say, the Harry Potter fandom but I think that's more because theres less fics all around, so proportionately it works out to be a larger part of all fic. Obikin only just hit 3k total works on Ao3 a few weeks (maybe two months?) ago, and im not sure how many there are for kylux but id imagine its a fairly similar number. Compared to Harry Potter, one of the biggest fandoms out there, its really not surprising. And you're definitely right about how it feels like theres certain canon events that "have to" happen, I've seen severely obikin fics that have Anakin fall regardless, and several where he was with Padmé at one point but they broke up for whatever reason. Im not really sure why that is, it'd be really really neat to look into! And you definitely have a point with HP being so much shorter timeline-wise compared to SW, theres not nearly as much that can happen in only 7 years!

OCs in the GFFA are so much fun to build!! Id love to hear all about her if you want to share (and if you'd rather share in DMs thats cool too, whatever makes you most comfortable!) I have some OCs that I've been building for my canon rewrite series, and its such a process! Between picking their species and their home planet and what they do, nevermind whether or not they'd know this canon character or that one, and theres just so so much to think about!!

As far as planets actually go, I havent really looked into that many tbh. I think Bespin is really fascinating, thats the one in ESB where Lando lives, and of course Aborah is so so cool, thats the one where Darth Plagueis housed his experiments. I think the best way to go about learning about the various planets is to just pick one and learn about it, yknow? Im sorry I dont have any recommendations!!

And hey, I gotta admit what catapulted me back into SW as a fandom was obikin. These two idiots (/affectionate) have been in my head every single day since New Year’s, and I honestly wouldn't have it any other way! As disappointing as it would be to no longer be fixating on this in another month or two, this time is very very well spent and you're in very very good company, I promise <3 and im happy to be your fandom friend!! I love chatting about this stuff, SW is very much my special interest and I'm more than happy to answer questions (if I know the answer) and reason out anything you want to!! Im sorry your friend isn't up for obikin btw, its definitely not a ship for everyone 😅 luckily there's plenty of us on tumblr who are more than happy to ramble at length about them!

Man that answer was allll over the place, I hope you don't mind!! These letter style asks are so much fun, you're a pleasure to have in the inbox, Anon ☂️! I hope this answer finds you well!!

[mc-slowwalker]

hahahahha that’s funny lol (saying that the author of the common enemy fics is c!dream) but yeah common enemy definitely won’t fix the issues cause it’s the cycle of violence that they have to break and that definitely will not be fixed easily

woooo syndicate supremacy (I’ve finally learned how to spell syndicate correctly through our conversation lol) they’re definitely doing better than other people on the server and I love that for them! oh yeah either or both c!tommy and c!dream definitely need to reflect on the fact that they’re both make eachother worse. I absolutely loved how that fic handled that aspect of it because closure and freedom is exactly what I want for c!dream and c!tommy more than anything. yeah exactly!! which is why I don’t like the idea of c!dream dying either cause it just leaves everything unresolved. I doubt that’ll happen in canon tho

yea!! can’t wait for the angst! cc!wilbur just posted on reddit about ghostbur so we’ve already got some more of it 😔✌️which also reminds me that I’m sooo interested to see how c!dream is like once he’s out of prison because so much of the fandom believes different thing and there’s no way that he’s gonna be better or changed cause he’s had no opportunity to plus he’s been through terrible torture for so long and I can’t wait to see the effect of that. which also reminds me that I’ve seen lately that a lot of the fandom seems to think that c!dream was put in the prison as a punishment when it was less about that and more about the fact that he could revive people and that his last canon life would have been taken if not for that fact. a lot of the fandom says he deserves the prison but not the torture as a punishment but that’s not why he was put in the prison and if that was the case literally every other character would deserve the same punishment as well as they’re all characters that have done bad things. I feel like my typing is just getting more and more rambly and less and less well punctuated lol sorry

oh yeah those fandom rules definitely make sense. especially as someone who has been in online fandom spaces for like a long time and has seen all the tumblr discourse lol. like yeah those rules were actually not bad and don’t send death threats or harass people shouldn’t have to be said as much as it is in mcyttwt. I really do wish that the young people in this fandom realise that they’re allowed to just have fun and do what they like in fandom

I think that taking into account the fact that a character is a minor is definitely important I just disagree with the way that a lot of people use it as such a final argument that doesn’t leave room for discussion. yeah I’m the same like when I was younger I used to think I was so grown up but like I’m 18 now and I realise that that’s still so young even though at 18 I’m an adult. basically like the “child” argument is not so black and white either like instead of a defence I think it’s more something that should be taken into account when discussing a characters actions and I definitely agree with the characters you’ve added as people who that can be extended to. and yeah like in real life the minors would face soo many more consequences it’s kind of funny like everyone would but with it being such a prominent topic of discussion it’s funnier applying real life rules to dsmp is often so funny. I agree c!tommy should 100% pay taxes that would be hilarious

ooh yeah the three life system interesting cause at first glance you’d think it makes them worth less but evidently not and I do wonder how the characters see it. like you said with c!foolish and c!puffy it was traumatic to take a first life but for some it just seems as chances and the last life is what actually matters. who it’s against and also circumstance I think matters. I also tend to brush off c!tommy taking two of c!dream’s lives but I also tend to brush off the canon lives lost during the first l’manburg war as it was war and c!dteam and co were just better. I suppose I’m an everything but l’manburg apologist because of its foundations ig although I can still understand and acknowledge it’s importance to the characters such as c!tommy. I’ve seen it said that c!dream deserves prison because he took two of c!tommy’s canon, amongst other reasons of course, but so many other characters have taken canon lives and how do you determine the consequence of that in the dsmp cause in irl it’s very different and in the dsmp so far there really is no consequence for murder. like for example c!punz took two of c!wilburs canon lives (I stan him for that I’m a punz simp what can I say) and other characters have taken canon lives too. hmm I wonder what determined the severity of crimes on the dsmp cause the one character that’s in prison wasn’t actually put in there for his crimes.

hahahaha yeah I just can’t wait till we finally don’t have to reach that much

ahaha fair enough I just sometimes type too fast and autocorrect never seems to know what I want to say and I do not have the brain power to proof read a single thing I write. also I type out the asks in notes and after I sent the last one I was like damn that was really long and pasted it into pages to check. and oh my god this one is over a thousand words that’s like longer than one of essays I wrote for my philosophy final exam😭😭 I am so sorry

I will say though that I am quite enjoying this discussion cause it’s the most in depth discussion I’ve been able to have about this

I saw the angst wilbur put on reddit that mother fucker (affectionate) I actually have a rewlly weird relationship with wilbur’s meta lore. Things I accept: sally is a salmon, fridge mom, all the characters being morally gray. Things I don’t accept: whatever he was trying to do with character ages, also saying revivebur was straight when c!tommy saw him and quackity making out like nice try king. One of my biggest issues with the sever is that I get so easily attached to mobs/npcs in dream smp and they die so easy so Im always sobbing,,,, if anything happens to shroud, yogurt, michael (notchill), or fran I’ll mcfucking lose it

For c!dream getting out of prison I see there being only two routes: 1. he’s worse by a lot more evil more fucked up or 2. He’ll be actually too fucked up/tired/traumatized to do shit. Either of which is gonna hurt the sever so I’m looking forward to it personally

Other real life things I think should be implemented into dream smp: jury duty, required 3 life insurance, dentsits, and OSHA

I do think the rebellion against c!dream (in the final control room) is really interrsting in that c!tommy/c!punz was about to organize a bunch of the server against dream? I know c!tommy has amazing puppy eyes tm but c!punz was able to organize a big group of people, half of them didn’t really have that much against dream (other than the l’manburg people) and were only there on more vague terms. Like c!hbomb and c!ponk really didn’t have shit against dream but still helped in getting him into prison

I feel like we’re always gonna have to reach a little bit and oh shit 1,000 words? Bruh half my classes require that and I have yet to actually right that much. it’s way easier with stuff you’re passionate about and with all the content dream smp has gives way more to analyze

[theokotrain]

Vestige - Interlude: The Party

Wattpad Version

As the night fills the sky

All my fears are dissipating

'Cause I feel reassured

That I might make it through

And if all my luck should burn

Then I guess it burned for you

---

April 13th, 2012

I was sitting on my bed, back against the bed frame with my knees raised in front of me, holding up my laptop. I had been spending the last few hours writing an essay for my English class, specifically answering the topic question my teacher had given everybody: "How do our past experiences influence our decisions?". The question was simple enough, it's a pretty universally recognized idea that stuff that happens to us has an effect on our decision making. I mean, that's what it means to grow, right? You gain more knowledge as you live through life and form new memories, and that helps you make more informed decisions in the future.

I've never really been too good at writing anything analytical, especially non-fiction. Essays and research papers that required informed arguments that helped to prove your point? Those were an entirely unknown game to me, one which I had never managed to breeze through. Of course, we were supposed to use some of the books we've read this year as evidence for our arguments, so that at least made it a bit easier, even if most of the books were ones from nearly five decades ago and definitely out of touch at this point. The sound of my laptop's keys clicking as I typed away were the only sounds I could pick up in the room. I had my earphones in for a bit, but those always hurt my ears after a while, so I had taken them out.

Looking at the time in the corner of my laptop screen, it was 4:43 PM. I started writing as soon as I got home from class, so I've only been going for about an hour. Unfortunately, this essay is a non-insignificant amount of my course grade, so I needed to finish this as soon as possible.

God, it's a Friday! I could be out doing something actually fun with Shae and the other guys. Isn't that the whole point of high school? That's what it always seemed like in movies, at least, but I guess I've been a victim of false advertising.

After a bit more time passes, the sound of my phone ringing from my desk brings me out of my writing trance. I sigh, setting my laptop next to me on the bed, not wanting to get out of bed, but eventually forcing myself into maneuvering over to the desk, I grab the phone and flip it open, looking to see the Caller ID.

Shaela.

I instantly accept the call, it's almost second nature at this point. She calls me at least once a day so she can tell me about whatever person is pissing her off that day, or whatever drama she's heard from her other friends. I was never really one for gossip, or whatever, but I did appreciate talking to her.

I put the phone up to my ear, "What's up?" I say, a tinge of fatigue in my voice.

"Hey! Just warning you that I'm like five minutes from your place and you don't have a say in the matter." She replied bluntly. I can hear the sound of cars driving by on the other side of the phone, so she's obviously outside, confirming her words.

I take a deep breath before speaking, "...Why?" I said with exasperated sarcasm.

"Because! I have something to tell you, and if I say it over the phone then I seriously doubt it'll work out in the way I'm hoping it does."

"That clears up nothing, actually, and now I regret picking up."

"Even if you didn't answer, that doesn't stop your parents from letting their son's lovely goody-two-shoes of a friend stop by for a visit!" She exclaimed, a mischievous tone subtly layered in her voice.

She's not wrong.

"Wow, you make this sound like you're sneaking into a high-security building or something." I say, utterly confused at her motives. "Obviously you can come over, but I'm not exactly filled with confidence at whatever you're planning."

"Like I said, I can't tell you yet, but it's gonna be awesome!" She said. There was an unusual perkiness to her that made itself pretty clear over the phone.

Before I can say anything, I'm met with the dial tone, signalling that she had hung up. The only thing I can do at this point is wait for her to get here, I guess. She always lets herself in when she comes over, so I don't make the effort to meet her downstairs. A sudden ping sound fills the quiet room, seeming to come from my laptop. I get back into bed, looking to see where the notification came from.

It's a message from Tyler.

He's definitely the newest member of our little group, if even that. I'm the only person in the group that he's actually friends with so far, despite my efforts to bring him along on any plans we all make. I only met the Grey Wolf back in February, at the beginning of the second semester, in the school's photography class. Nobody I knew signed up for it, and due to our prestigious high school's advanced budget for technology, we were forced to be paired up for shared computer use in the Photography Room. I suppose Tyler was also fortunate enough to not know anybody in the class, as we ended up being paired together by the teacher. He was definitely someone I could only describe as uninterested, as the first week or two I spent with him in that class consisted of him either giving me one word answers or answering in the most blunt, bored tone he could manage. Though, it seemed that it took a bit of persistence on my part to push him to be more open, and since then he's grown to be a pretty great friend.

Tyler: u goin to that party tonight ive been hearin about?

Party? I wasn't made aware of anything like that, at least... not yet. Something in the back of my brain was telling me that Shae had ulterior motives about coming to my place so suddenly, but I'm still hoping that I'm wrong. I hate parties.

Jake: party? havent heard anything, are u going?

Tyler: thinkin about it

think its gonna be over at chris's place, guess his parents r gone for the weekend or somethin

Jake: chrisssss? ughh that guy is such an asshole

Tyler: yeah u dont havee to go, but itd prob be more fun to have someone u actually know there

The way he worded that was directed at me, but I could tell he didn't want to go on his own.

Jake: i guess ill think about it

Tyler: sickk, call me if u make up ur mind

Before I can type my farewells over IM, Shaela energetically bursts through the door.

"Jesus! You scared the shit outta me, don't you knock?" I said, mildly exasperated.

"Oh come on, I literally called you a few minutes ago, you had plenty of time to not make a situation where it'd be a bad idea for me to barge in," She replies, laughing, before setting her bag on the ground and dramatically falling into my bed. "Today was garbage."

"What happened?"

"Ugh, Claire decided to just not show up, I guess, on the day we're supposed to present that stupid History project? And, obviously, she didn't give me her part of the project or anything, so I had tell Mr Thomas about the situation, which was fucking embarrassing." She paused for a moment, taking a deep breath. "Luckily, he said he wouldn't reduce my grade for handing it in late, since I actually had my part finished. God, what a bitch- I must've called her like thirty times before class to get her to email me her part, and every time it went straight to voicemail - and she told me last night that she'd have it ready for today!"

"Have you gotten a hold of her yet?" I asked, closing my laptop and setting it beside me.

Shae turns her head to me, shaking her head, "Nope, she's been ghosting me all day."

"Sounds like typical Claire."

"Yeah, I shouldn't have partnered with her, but apparently I can't say no to anyone, so..." I chuckle lightly in response. "Anyways! I didn't just come here to complain to you!" She says, sitting up on the bed, now facing towards me.

"Right... So what was so important that you just had to tell me in person?" I say, sarcastically.

"Like I said, if I asked you over the phone you would've definitely said no, and my ability to pressure you into doing things isn't as effective unless it's in person!" She responded.

I subtly rolled my eyes, but it's clear she noticed from the stare-down she gave me, "Okay, so what is it?"

"Soooooo..." She says, trying to find the rest of the words, "There's a party."

Wow.

"Wh- did everybody know about that party except for me?!?" I exclaimed.

Shaela's face quickly turns to an expression of shock, "Who told you?"

"Tyler did, like, not even five minutes ago." I say, bluntly.

"What? How does he know Chris?"

"Friend-of-a-friend, I'm guessing?"

"Hmm..." She hummed, thinking about something, "So, did you tell him you were going?"

"I specifically said I'd think about it, nothing definite." I made it clear in my tone that I wasn't particularly interested.

"Oh, come on, dude! It'll be fun!"

I didn't really have an interest in going, but I know it'd make Shae happy, plus it'd be nice to hang out with Tyler again even if we've only known each other for a couple months.

"...Fine. But, if Chris or any of his buddies start shit, I'm leaving."

"Awesome!"

"Lemme just call Tyler and let him know," I said as I grabbed my phone and flipped it open, finding Tyler in my contact list and dialling.

"You gonna bring him with-" The phone rings a few times before he picks up and I extend my hand out towards Shae in a shushing motion. She rolls her eyes, smirking.

"Hey? So are ya gonna go?" He said eagerly.

"Well, Shae showed up at my door literally right after you messaged me, asking the same thing!" I exclaimed in a fake-preppy voice. "So, I guess I have no choice since she'll probably just drag me there if I say no," I joked. She nods her head toward me in response.

"Oh, is she going too?" He inquired.

"Yeah, I guess so! Your place is kinda on the way to Chris', so we could probably meet you at your place and go from there."

"Yeah! Sounds good!" He quickly responded.

I laughed, "Okay, we'll call you when we get there?"

"Sure thing!"

We exchanged our farewells, and hung up. The party wasn't for at least another hour or two, so Shae and I had some time to burn, of which I was entirely out of ideas. I figured I could at least spend this time actually being productive, so I grabbed my laptop and continued on writing my English essay as Shae resumed her previous conversation topic of stuff at school that was pissing her off. It was pretty entertaining, to be fair. She was telling me about how Chris had gotten in a fight with this other kid in our grade yesterday after class, which I wasn't lucky enough to witness, but it was obviously all anyone would talk about for basically the entire day today so word spread around fast. The part I hadn't heard about was that both Chris and the other guy, Nathan, got suspended for a week because of it. Chris was generally an asshole to everybody, including myself, so I didn't feel too bad about that. Although, I didn't know Nathan all that well. Other than having a few classes together, I don't think I've ever held an actual conversation with the guy. I think it was safe to assume that Chris was the one who started it, and Shae seemed to agree with me, even though she hadn't seen the fight either.

"But, apparently Nathan's gonna show up tonight!" She exclaimed coyly.

"...Remind me again why you want me to go to this specific party?"

"You'll have a great time! It's not like we'll be involved in the drama anyway so think of it more as entertainment!"

"I think you and I have different definitions of the word 'entertainment'," I joked.

"I'm sure you can go run off somewhere with Tyler if you're not having fun," She said, her tone reminding me of my mom.

"Oh yeah? What about you?"

"I can't just leave Alex at a party with Chris, those two start shit between each other so much and I'd rather not deal with the aftermath of that today."

"I'm guessing it's safe to assume that Elliot's going too, then?"

"He's not big on parties, but he'll usually go if everyone else is, unlike somebody," She says, gesturing towards me.

"Good one," I reply, unmoving as I keep typing away at my assignment.

"Well, we should probably leave soon since we're stopping at Tyler's place on the way.

I saved the document I had been working on, closing my laptop. "Sounds good to me!"

---

"I can't believe you actually agreed to go." Tyler joked as we walked towards the road from his house.

"Yeah, me either." I replied. I definitely didn't put in any effort in dressing up for the party, opting for a snug space-themed graphic tee, along with black jeans and a white zip-up hoodie. Shae and Tyler both stand on opposite sides of me as we walk down the sidewalk.

"Luckily I learned the subtle techniques in convincing you to do things against your better judgement, so now you get to have fun for once!" Shae exclaimed.

"It's not my fault that going to a party is literally the last thing on earth I'd do for fun in any normal situation." I retorted, putting my hands in the pockets of my jacket.

"Oh yeah? And what do you consider a 'normal situation'?" Shae asks.

"Any situation where you guys aren't the ones trying to get me to go! I'm only doing this for you two, y'know." I said, looking over at both of them.

"What about Elliot and Alex?" Tyler chimed in.

"They aren't the ones asking me to go to this party." I sarcastically remarked, trying to keep the conversation light-hearted. "Speaking of the party- this is Chris we're talking about, there's gonna be beer, right?"

"Uh, duh?" Shae replied.

"Yeah, that's a definite no for me, I'm already enough of a disappointment to my parents,"

"No one's making you drink, Jake. At least you'd be safe if some old hag called the cops about the noise." Shae said.

"I think at that point we're guilty by association, so we'd just make a run for it if that happens," Tyler joked.

"Dude, the chance of me outrunning a police officer successfully is about as likely as me not wanting to punch Chris tonight."

"And the chance of you winning that fight is just as low!" Shae retorted, Tyler laughing in response.

"I specifically said 'want' because of that very reason!"

"Wow, I'd pay money to see you fight that guy." Tyler said, nudging his elbow into my side.

It isn't a secret that I'm not exactly athletic. I mean, I'm definitely not weak, but fighting basically any animal of a similar size to mine was not a situation that favoured my victory.

"That sounds more like just getting the shit kicked outta me for your entertainment." I remarked, lightly punching Tyler's shoulder in return.

"Absolutely worth every penny!" Shae exclaimed. Luckily, the place wasn't any more than ten minutes away from Tyler's place, so I didn't have to endure listening to these two talk about me getting beat up for much longer.

We finally make it to Chris' house, and I'm suddenly filled with an impending sense of regret. Obviously, my parents would never in a million years agree to me going to a party like this. As far as they know, I'm just spending the evening hanging out with Shae at Tyler's house. So yeah, this entire night had a lot of potential for disaster.

Shae can clearly see my hesitation, because she grabs my hand, leading me up the walkway, Tyler following closely behind.

"I wonder if Elliot and Alex beat us here?" She says, knocking on the front door.

"I doubt they had anything to do earlier, hell they probably came straight here after school, knowing Alex." I said, laughing.

Our conversation is cut short by the opening door, revealing the familiar black cat.

"Oh, look, the Stephenson kid brought his girlfriend!" Chris exclaimed mockingly, looking back into the house, before peering around my shoulder, "And... Tyler?" He said, inquisitively.

I lean over, blocking Tyler from his line of sight, "Yeah, hey, not dating by the way!" I said. I've known Shae since I first moved to Vestige, around the time I turned five years old, so it wasn't uncommon for rumours to go around that we were dating. I've always thought of her more as a sister, if anything.

"I asked them to come!" Tyler said. That was only partly true, but according to Tyler, they've been 'somewhat-friends' for quite a while now, so saying that would at least mean less mild-harassment from Chris for tonight.

"Oh, uh, okay... come on in! But you're on the hook for any shit they pull, Tyler!" He said, opening the door wider.

---

The party had been going on for a few hours at this point. I could recognize most of the animals here from school, but not enough to actually hold a conversation with any of them, so most of my time here had just been spent with Shae and Tyler. The place hasn't been incredibly crowded luckily, but there were easily about forty others in this part of the house alone. I'm assuming only high school grades were invited, but there were a considerable number of students to meet that requirement. The issue at hand for me, other than how crowded this place is, is that both Shae and Tyler ditched me to go... somewhere? I think Shae saw some of her friends and went somewhere with them, but Tyler was pretty secretive about where he was going, only telling me that he'd be back in a bit. So I've been standing here in this random corner of the house with a drink in hand, trying to make myself look busy and not awkward, which is exactly why I didn't want to go to this party in the first place!

"Jake!" A voice shouted from a ways away.

I turn my head in confusion, revealing Alex, walking towards me from across the room.

"Oh, Alex! Hey! What's up dude!" I finish the last bit of my soda, waving at him. Because this was Chris' party, there was obviously beer too, but I didn't feel like coming home drunk and my parents finding out.

"I didn't think you'd wanna come to something like this! Feeling the regret yet?"

"I like parties! It's the times like these when I'm standing in a corner by myself with nothing to do that I hate, which seems to happen every time I go to a party!" I exclaimed, pausing for a moment. "Okay, maybe I do hate parties- I've had to explain this so many times today I'm about ready to jump into Lake Ambuscade."

' "Wow, sounds like somebody needs to socialize instead of stewing in a corner for the rest of the night!"

"Socialize? Really? I know just about everybody here and just about none of them are worth talking-"

"Hang with me and Elliot, then? Justin set up some racing games in the other room, we were gonna join, but we could use a fourth... You in?" He said, his tone obviously trying to sound coercing.

"God, please, anything to get me out of this corner for the next three hours." I said, Alex returning my words with a laugh.

"Well, come on then! We'll have to hurry if we want to get one of the good controllers!" He exclaimed, motioning to follow him.

As we move through the various cliques, I recognize a few faces here and there, though not enough to actually want to talk to them. There's been music playing since we got here, and I have yet to recognize a single song, they all seem to be some form of drone-y bass-heavy music that I can't say I've heard in any normal situations. I'm doing my best to follow Alex, although he keeps weaving between the other animals faster than I can keep up, resulting in me having to shove past everyone near me in an effort to speed myself up. Luckily, it seems that no one notices me anyway.

When we arrive in the other room, it seems to just be another living room, but decorated with a galore of punk band posters, shelves holding more DVD cases than I would ever care to count, and even a mini-fridge. Maybe Chris is the type to have a 'man cave' or something? Just hearing that phrase almost makes me want to vomit, but there aren't any more accurate words that come to mind. The room isn't massive or anything, but the TV resting upon the wall across the room seems to challenge that idea, looking almost eighty inches in size. Luckily no randoms from the party were in here, sitting about ten feet away from the TV is Elliot, leaning back in a purple bean bag chair that seems almost three times bigger than him, and Justin, the cougar I'd only known slightly through Alex, laying down sideways on the couch directly in front of the gigantic screen.

"Whatttt! You took the bean bag chair? Lameee..." Alex whined.

"You're the one who wanted to go get Jake, you snooze you lose!" Elliot retorted, looking oddly proud of himself.

"Damn, wish I had a room like this at my house..." I mumbled, looking around the room.

"Are we gonna play or what?" Justin said, cutting through the momentary silence.

"Duh!" Alex claimed.

Justin sits up, taking the spot on the couch closest to Elliot. I opt for the leftmost seat, and Alex sits in-between the both of us. Elliot grabs the other three controllers and tosses them over at us, one by one. Luckily, there weren't any garbage third-party controllers, so at least none of us would have to deal with that. I will admit, it did feel kinda weird going to someone's party just to play games away from everybody, but I would be lying if I said I didn't prefer that, even though I rarely play games, if ever.

After Justin turns the console on, he goes through the menus, launching the game. I can't say I recognize the title, but it seems to be a pretty standard racing game. He goes into the custom mode, opting for a four-player split-screen match, choosing 'R1' as the category of cars to race in. As everyone chooses their cars, I scroll through the list, not really knowing what to pick. I've never been good with car stuff, so I pick an 'Aston Martin Lola' just based on the number-rating system the game ranks the cars with.

"You guys ready?" Justin asks.

"Oh yeah, get ready to eat my dust you guys!" Elliot exclaims, challengingly.

"Oddly prideful words for someone about to lose!" Alex replies, laughing.

The countdown begins, as the cameras slowly show the view of each car as it moves to the rear. When it starts, I somehow manage the fuckup of spinning my tires out, leaving me a few seconds behind the others as the car swerves back and forth. I curse under my breath as I try to regain control of the car, and swiftly pick up speed. The track seems like nothing I haven't seen before, a typical professional track, with rows and rows of audience seating to the side. Unfortunately, I'm now in last place. The next few moments of the track are a few quick corners, allowing me the chance to catch up, at least a little.

Unexpectedly, the track turns off of the main road, going into a forested area. The road is considerably more narrow at this point, so it takes a conscious effort to not drive into the trees by the asphalt. It looks like the road stretches on forever, as I still can't make out any upcoming turns. I guess the car I chose for the race had a better top speed than Justin's, as I'm quickly catching up to him, moving into third place. I'm gripping my controller to an uncomfortable degree, but I can't seem to relax the tension as I try to make my way into second place. I don't think I can pick up any more speed in this car, so me moving up is reliant on the road staying straight for just a bit longer. After what feels like a lifetime, the front of my car finally starts making it past Elliot's, then the midsection, and finally, I'm in second. The sound of all four car engines is drowning out any remnants of the video game music, and I feel the sudden urge to curse out whoever turned the TV volume up this high. My eyes are focused entirely on Alex's car as I make my final push into first place. If I were actually driving this fast in the real world, I'd be scared out of my fucking mind. Out of nowhere, Alex, and the others, begins to slow down considerably.

Oh fuck.

It's at that point I notice that there is a sharp right turn rapidly approaching. I've been pushing the top-speed of this car since the beginning of this stretch of road, and now I'm going too quickly to stop in time. What's the button to use the handbrake, again? I figure that the only way for me to not fuck up this race for myself is to try to drift around the corner. Considering I've never played this game before, it's going to prove to be a challenge. But, it's either that, or just ending up in dead-last again.

I hold down the A button, and pull the joystick as far to the right as possible. Suddenly, all I can hear from the game is the loud skidding sounds of my tires against the asphalt. To my surprise, I cut the corner a bit early, now going over the grass. I try to do a bit of directional-corrections and start heading back onto the track. Going over the grass definitely slowed me down a fair bit, but it definitely was a significantly better outcome over just crashing into the wall. And, to my surprise, the corner of my screen reads... first?!?

"How the fuck...?" Alex questions, seemingly in disbelief.

"I wish I could tell you." I replied, eyes wide at whatever the fuck just happened.

The distance I managed to gain on Alex isn't by a whole lot, but there's only about a quarter of the track left before we reach the finish line, so I have a chance at winning this. The track hurriedly changes from the forest as it reenters the main track. The long, straight roads seem to end as the road becomes a slow series of sharp turns, never giving me the opportunity to get back up to speed. It seems like the high top speed was my only advantage, because at every corner we take, I turn my camera around, revealing the other cars inching closer and closer to me.

I can see the finish line on the mini-map, just a few more turns away. I know that I'm not gonna be able to distance myself from Alex and the others at this point, so my only feasible strategy is to keep moving, cutting the corners as fast as I can, and getting to the finish line before they can pass me. Unfortunately, Alex's car seems to be getting too close for comfort now, meaning I might have to take some risks to ensure I can stay in first. As we approach the final turn, leading into the finish line, I realise I'm gonna have to try to drift this corner. I can feel my pointer finger practically cracking the plastic on the controller from the amount of pressure I'm putting on the right trigger. In a final plea to win, I push down on the A button, pulling the handbrake. The car starts to smoothly skid around the corner. Luckily, there are barriers on the sides of the road this time, preventing me from sliding onto the grass. To my surprise, the drift seems to work better than expected. That is, until, like the fucking idiot I am, make a slight overcorrection towards the left barriers as I exit the drift. I managed to avoid driving directly into the wall, but it did slow me down a bit.

Alex is immediately behind me, and I put all of my strength into accelerating towards the finish line. I'd be fucked if I broke the controller, cause I can't really afford the fifty dollars to buy a new one, but winning this race is more important to me at the moment. The finish line is only about five-hundred metres away, and Alex is slowly beginning to pass. All I can do at this point is push the gas as much as I can, and pray that I can cross the finish line before he can get back into first place. The finish line gets closer and closer, and it seems like it's gonna be too close for me to accurately tell the winner. I can feel my heart pounding in my chest from how stressful this fucking game has been, and now, we're about to find out whose efforts paid off. As each car makes its way over the finish line, each of our dedicated sections of the screen turns to slow motion. When it's finally over, the text fades in on each screen, revealing our place...

...

...

...Second?!?

"FUCK!" I shouted, realising I had been holding my breath since the final stretch of the race.

"HA! Dude, you suck!" Alex exclaimed, playfully shoving me.

"I think that was the most effort I've put into anything in my life." I said, setting my controller on the coffee table in front of me.

"Wow, that's dramatic," Justin remarked.

"Yeah, that's the usual for Jake," Elliot replied, laughing.

"You probably woulda won if you picked a better car, dude. That track was way too close-quarters so you should've gone with a car with better acceleration." Alex said.

"Wha- do you own this game?" I questioned, looking accusatory.

"...Yeah? It came out a few months ago, pretty popular right now." He replied.

"Ugh, this is what I get for playing with a bunch of gamers." I exclaimed, applying a disgusted tone to the last word.

"Not my fault you only play like one game a month!" Alex joked.

"Even then, I was like this close to beating you anyway!" I said, gesturing a minuscule distance between my thumb and pointer finger.

A voice interrupts our argument, coming from right outside the room, "Uh huh...

...

Really? That's bullshit! Come on...

...

Dude, give me a couple of days, I'll make it right!

...

Yeah, I swear."

It seems that we all stopped talking to listen in at the same time. "That sounds like Tyler... who's he arguing with?" Elliot asked. I can't make out the voice of whoever he's talking to, it just sounds like mumbling.

They seem to pause for a moment, and the sound of a single set of footsteps can be heard.

"Fuck..." Tyler says to himself, still out of view.

"...I should probably see what's up, you guys can keep playing without me." I say, getting up from my spot on the couch.

"Yeah, you do that! Less competition for me," Alex exclaims, laughing to himself.

"Hey, I can still beat your ass at this game, I know exactly which car to pick this time!" Elliot argued.

"Yeah, right! Guess we'll find out!"

I leave as the three start up another game, kind of glad I don't have to have another near-heart attack from playing again. When I get back into the dimly-lit hallway, Tyler is nowhere to be seen.

I look around, heading into the main room of the house to see if I can spot him. It's pretty difficult to see anything, because of how dim it is here, plus the sheer amount of animals crowding up the place. Despite that, I manage to spot the Grey Wolf a ways away, hurrying quickly into the bathroom.

As I shove my way through a few groups of teens, I almost fall over a few times, gaining confused stares from a few in the room. I lightly knock on the bathroom door, waiting for a response, "Hey, you okay Tyler?" After a few moments, I'm returned with no answer, "...Tyler-" Before I can finish my sentence, Tyler swiftly pulls open the bathroom door, pulling me in and shutting the door behind me, before sitting down on the side of the bathtub. As I'm about to say something, I hear the sound of him sniffling.

...Is he crying?

He's looking towards the floor, so I can't confirm it visually, but the sound definitely gives it away.

"Whoa, what's wrong? Did something happen?" I asked worriedly, not yet choosing to bring up the argument we overheard.

There's a few seconds of silence as he tries to bring himself together, not very successfully. "I- I... I don't- I don't think I can-"

"It's fine, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to," I tried to reassure him. He raises his head for a moment to look at me, trying to find words to say, instead opting to go back to crying, head in his hands. I've never been good with situations like this, so I sit down next to him, putting my hand on his upper back, softly patting.

"I'm sorry- I'm a fucking idiot. I shouldn't have asked you to come."

"Hey! I've been having fun! Don't worry about me, it seems like you're the one who shouldn't have come." I joke, in some effort to lighten the mood.

Shit, was that inconsiderate of me to say?

To my surprise, he manages to let out a light laugh, "Yeah, I'm starting to realise that."

"...Do you wanna leave, then? They know I didn't want to go here in the first place, so you could just say you're being nice and walking me home." I didn't know if he would actually take up that offer, but I know some guys have a weird thing about not wanting to seem 'uncool' and leaving a party early was definitely considered that.

He thinks for a moment, still sniffling pretty noticeably. "...okay, just- give me a minute, I don't want to go out there looking like this." He mumbles, looking towards the door.

"Yeah, that's fine." I said, continuing to rub around his neck area.

This definitely wasn't how I expected the night to go. But it was a sort of 'two-birds-with-one-stone' kind of situation. I get to help out Tyler, which is usually the other way around, I get to leave early, and hopefully Shae stops bugging me about going to parties, at least for a while.

Now that I think about it, that analogy is pretty messed up.

A few silent minutes go by as I sit next to the still-crying Tyler, waiting for him to recollect himself. Even though he hasn't actually said anything here, in the two months I've known him, this is probably the most vulnerable I've ever seen him. When I first met him, it was pretty accurate to describe him as the kind of guy who acts like he never feels emotion. Hell, even I refuse to be open about my feelings, but most of my friends see through that nowadays. Even now, I don't really understand why I do that. I guess it's just easier to not talk about shit like that? Is that why Tyler does it?

"I think I'm good now," He said, shaking his hands as he stood up.

"Okay, let's get out of this dumpster fire." I sarcastically remarked. Tyler shot me a confused look in return. "Whatever, let's just go."

I open the bathroom door, grabbing his arm as I lead him out into the main room. Almost immediately the voice of a certain black cat perks up behind us.

"Oh? And what did you two get up to in there?" Chris remarked, laughing, "I didn't know you guys were THAT kind of friends!"

God damnit. This stupid fucking feline.

"Yeah, it's too loud out here for me, I needed a break, he came with." I explained, Tyler standing closely behind me with a confused look on his face. Just roll with it, dude, I think to myself, knowing I probably shouldn't say that out loud.

"You know, I would believe that, but normal guys actually just go outside when they need a break." He replied.

"Well, hey! That's where we're going right now, so it all checks out!" I say in the bitchiest voice I can muster.

"Heh, sure thing, Jake." He said, sounding weirdly satisfied with himself. I didn't want to spend any more time in this fucking house than I needed to, especially while talking to Chris, so I continue on, pulling Tyler by the hand towards the exit. After a few moments, we make it to the front door. I promptly open it and we both head outside.

We're immediately greeted by the light of the moon and the starry sky as we head down the walkway toward the street. One of the few benefits of living in such a backwater town was the absence of any significant light pollution. I've been to Portland a few times for school field trips and such, and seeing the sheer difference in visible stars was absolutely staggering. I could only imagine what it would be like to go stargazing in the middle of nowhere.

"At least it's a nice night out." I said.

"Yeah..." Tyler replied, his mind clearly in a completely different place.

"I should probably tell Shae where we went, so she doesn't freak out trying to find us back there." I joked, pulling out my cell phone. Texting on my flip phone was an arduous task, but I didn't want to call her, so I had not much of a choice.

I send the text, and close my phone, returning it to my pocket. As we walk down the road, we stew in the silence, the only auditory sounds coming from the party still close by, and the local crickets chirping.

I won't lie, as much as I usually appreciate quiet, this is the loudest silence I've ever been stuck in. It goes on for more than five minutes. I could tell he wanted to say something, and I was eager to find out whatever was going on that started this in the first place. But, like the coward I am, I try to lighten the mood.

"Hopefully that satisfied your quota of me going to parties with you for a while, cause I do not plan on having the energy for something like that again for at least a few months." I said, awkwardly laughing. He doesn't respond, at least for a while, as he raises his hand, scratching the back of his neck nervously. "...Uhh, are you sure you don't wanna talk about it? I mean-"

"Can I tell you something?" He interrupted, his voice still cracking like it was in the bathroom.

"...Sure?" I replied, slightly confused.

"It's just that- I don't really know- like what-"

"-to say? Just think for a minute. No rush." That's what my dad always says whenever my mind spirals. I used to be really anxious, although I've been getting better at controlling my thoughts in the past few years.

When I went to text Shae a few minutes ago, my phone's clock read 9:48 PM. I'm supposed to be home at ten and we're still at least twenty minutes away, not even including the detour we'll take to get to Tyler's place. Which brings me to the realisation that, when we get to his house, I'm gonna have to walk the rest of the way home by myself, in the dark. If I get murdered by some serial killer this late at night I'm gonna fucking haunt Shae from the afterlife-

"I think I'm gay," He quickly says, his voice holding a noticeable increase in energy compared to what I've been used to tonight.

Well... can't say that's exactly what I was expecting. Was I expecting anything in particular? I honestly don't know anymore. His words took me by surprise, my brain is kind of scrambled right now. I look over at him - he's looking back at me, probably trying to gauge my reaction. I did my best to conceal any facial reaction, but it's pretty clear that my lack of a response is starting to become noticeable.

"...You... think?"

"Well, like- I don't know. I guess I've just been thinking for a while, and it makes sense... all things considered." He replied anxiously.

"That- That's great! Does anyone else know?"

"I only really realised a few weeks ago, so... no. But compared to anyone else, I probably trust you the most to not like- tell anyone?" He said, looking over at me again.

"Well, I appreciate the completely undeserved confidence you have in me," I joked, realising too late that now probably isn't the time for that, "Yeah, I promise I won't tell anyone."

"Thank you," He replies, a genuine smile strewn across his face.

A few minutes go by as we walk down the road, absorbing the positive energy we created. Having only known Tyler for a little over two months, it definitely surprised me knowing that he trusted me more than anyone else to keep a secret like that... I mean, despite the short amount of time since I met him, I'm as close to him as I've been to Shaela for the past eight years. Maybe even closer? I barely even tell Shae about my actual problems, at least the non-surface level stuff. So yeah, I guess it makes sense that he would trust me with something so important, I know I would absolutely trust him if it were me in that situation.

"...So, do you think you're gonna tell your dad?"

He didn't say anything for a moment as he stared down at the ground beneath him, "I'll probably have to tell him soon, if he has to find out from some asshole that isn't me it'd make it ten times more difficult than if I just said it myself."

I agreed, and we let the conversation cut itself off as we finally approached Tyler's house. I followed him up the walkway and stood on the patio, making sure he actually got inside. He tries the doorknob eagerly, to no avail. Realising that it was locked, he reaches into his pocket for his key - again, to no avail.

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me," Tyler mumbled under his breath, clearly done with tonight. All of the lights were off in the house, signalling that his dad was not awake.

"Maybe you'll wake him up if you knock? Then he can let you in."

"Nonono, he thinks I'm staying at your place! If he finds out I went to a party I'm in deep shit," He whispered.

Of course. If I had to lie to my parents, why would I expect anything different from anyone else?

"Okay, uhh... maybe we can make that lie... not a lie?" I said, sounding weirder than I'd like.

Tyler looked at me, confused for a moment, eyes widening as he realised what I meant, "I can't let you do that, I've already forced you through too much shit tonight."

"Oh, come on, of course you can sleep at my place for the night! My parents think I'm at your house right now, so I can just tell them that we both went over there early in the morning. They love you anyway, so it won't be a problem!"

He didn't move at all, still looking reluctant, "Are you sure it won't be... weird? I don't want to put you in an awkward situation cause of w- what I told you."

"Dude, that couch in my room has a hide-a-bed if you don't want to share mine. Either way, we're friends, aren't we? I trust you."

After a few moments of silence, he speaks up, "...I guess so-"

"Great, then it's settled!" I said, putting my arm around his shoulder as I led him back down the walkway.

---

Once we make it to my place, walk up the creaky wooden steps of my patio as I fish the house key out of my pocket. Tyler's standing closely behind me, looking awkward as ever, clearly not knowing what to do with his hands as he switches between putting them in his pockets and clasping them together.

I turn the key on the lock and try the door, noticing that It's completely pitch black inside the house. My parents usually go to bed at 10 PM, and it was well past that at this point. I lock the door behind us as I reach for my pocket, grabbing my phone and flipping it open to use as a barely-useful flashlight. I take Tyler's wrist as I lead him through the furniture of my living room and up the stairs. The only sounds in the house come from the soft ticking of a clock in the kitchen, the sound of which has always freaked me out whenever I'd come downstairs at three in the morning. Despite my best efforts to be as quiet as possible, the old wooden boards of the stairs prove my effort to be futile as they creak with every step. I can only hope that both of my parents have fallen asleep by now, or else they'd definitely have heard us. As I take Tyler down the hallway, walls strung with various family photos and art fit for a motel, I hear no sounds coming from the master bedroom, relaxing some of my tension.

Once we make it to my room, I breathe a sigh of relief as I turn on the overhead light, hoping my mom doesn't find out and try to lecture me in the morning, "Okay, hide-a-bed or mine, your choice!"

"Hide-a-bed." He replies.

"Sure thing, lemme show you how to set it up," I say as I remove each couch cushion one by one. The couch is sitting directly under my massive bedroom window, illuminated by the glow of the moon. Under the cushions is a black folded-up contraption, bearing a metal handle. I grab the handle and start pulling the bed out from the couch. As the first section of the bed comes out, Tyler stands next to me and helps unfold the second section, and finally the third.

I move over to open the closet door, "I have some spare pillows and blankets in here."

"So, why do you have a spare bed... thingy... in your room anyway?" He asked.

"My cousins' family came to visit from the other side of the country a few years back, so my parents made the cousins stay in my room and gave me our old couch that used to be in the living room. They were here for like two weeks, it was fucking awful," I remarked, pulling a comforter out of the closet and unfolding it out on the mattress.

"That sounds miserable," Tyler sympathized.

"It was, but hey, now I got a sick as fuck couch in my room! And it works as a great place for certain friends to sleep when they wanna spend the night," I said sarcastically, looking over at Tyler as I grabbed the pillows from the closet, tossing them to one end of the bed.

He turned his head, baffled, "Was that a dig on me?" He questioned.

"Depends on how you took it I suppose," I replied, smiling cunningly.

"You're the one who offered, dude- are you sure you didn't drink at the party? You've at least doubled your usual level of sarcasm." He retorted.

"Nope, unless somebody spiked my soda!" I joked, but the realisation slowly set in, "Oh shit- maybe someone spiked my soda?!?"

"Don't freak out, I seriously doubt someone would spike your drink,"

"God, I hope so, if my parents found out I went to that party, that'd be one thing, but if I got drunk? I doubt I'd see the outside world for months," I sighed.

"Even if you were drunk, it's not like you would still be drunk in the morning for them to find out, anyway."

"Yeah, I guess you're right," I said, letting out a yawn shortly thereafter. "Fuck, I didn't realise how tired I am." Looking at my alarm clock, it was 10:37 PM. That wasn't terribly late, I've definitely stayed up later when there was an assignment due the next day that I forgot about, but even before I met up with Alex and Elliot, that party was just wearing me down. "At least I can sleep in 'till like noon tomorrow. You sure you don't need anything before I pass out from exhaustion?"

"No, I'm okay, I think. And, thank you... Jake." He replied, smiling at me.

"No problem, dude!" I quietly exclaimed as I turned off the bedroom lights and hopped into bed. I can practically feel my muscles dissolve as I lean into the mattress, pulling the heavy blankets over me as I close my eyes.

I can't help but feel something itching in the back of my brain. I never did find out why Tyler was even crying back at the party. Was it related to what he told me after? He sounded pretty upset when he was talking to whoever it was in the hallway, too, so maybe that was why? We've already talked about so much shit tonight, though, and I definitely did not have the energy to have another huge conversation about something like that. It could definitely wait until tomorrow.

Soon, I feel my consciousness drift away, the only sound I can make out being the slow breathing of Tyler, across the room.

---

As I wake up, I'm blinded by the bright sun shining in through my windows, directly into my eyes. I glance over at my alarm clock, feeling incredibly groggy and sore, noticing that it's 11:13 AM. Usually, the latest I'd sleep in on weekends was only around ten, but I guess it took a lot of my energy yesterday to try to tune the party out. At least it's over.

I slowly sit up, yawning as I lean back against the bed frame. I glanced around the room, noticing that the hide-a-bed had been folded back into the couch, Tyler nowhere to be seen. I reach over to my bedside table to check my phone, finding an unread text from him, sent a few hours ago.

Tyler: hey

woke up early, figured youd want 2 sleep in.

will call u later, might have somthin big i wanna share, will see

A pair of oddly cryptic messages. Guess that confirms he isn't here anymore.

At least it was a Saturday, meaning that I had full permission to be a slob. I get out of bed, deciding to skip my usual shower until after breakfast. Other than the snacks that were out at the party, I ate practically nothing last night. I could almost feel my stomach turning itself inside out, so I hurried out of my room and downstairs to the kitchen to have some breakfast.

The first thing I notice when I get downstairs is my mom, sitting on the couch with a book. I head straight to the kitchen, trying not to make myself stand out.

"Jake! Finally woken up, I see." She remarked, still looking at her book.

"Hey, mom!" There's a moment of silence as I grab a bowl out of the cupboard, as well as a box of cereal, and begin to pour.

She speaks up, "Your friend, Tyler, seemed to be in a hurry to leave this morning, anything I should know about?"

"...Not that I know of? Like what?" I questioned as I poured some milk from the fridge, grabbed a spoon, and sat at the kitchen counter.

"Well, it's not like we didn't notice that you weren't home by ten like your father asked you to be, so obviously you must have a good excuse for why you didn't at least call to let us know you'd be late?" She replied. I could tell when she started talking all responsible-parent-like, it meant that she was gonna lecture me about something.

I sighed, thinking of the right thing to say. "...Well, Tyler was going through some things... so I was trying to help him with that, I guess. Time just kinda flew by and I wasn't able to get home 'till later."

"So he spent the night here? Weren't you at his house?" She asked as I ate a spoonful of cereal.

"Yeah... we went out for a bit and once I noticed how late it was I offered to let him spend the night at our house since it was closer," I said. Almost entirely a lie, but definitely preferable to the truth.

"Jake..." She said, setting her book down on the coffee table in front of the couch, walking over to me, and resting a hand on my shoulder. "You're sixteen now, obviously we don't expect you to tell us everything you're up to nowadays. But we worry about you! I worry about you. Just for future reference, please let us know if you're gonna be home late or anything like that."

"Okay, I'll keep that in mind," I said, looking up at her.

"Great! Now, I have to go meet a friend for lunch, please try not to burn the house down while I'm out!" She said as she grabbed her purse and keys off of the counter, hurring out the door.

"No promises, love you!" I said as she closed the door behind her.

Well, I guess that went... better than expected? I doubt she believed that story I made up, but I guess as long as I don't break curfew without telling them, I should be fine.

Having the house to myself wasn't totally uncommon. Considering my dad was gone during the day five days a week, and my mom would head out to go meet friends or run errands pretty often, I got some much needed alone time often enough to not go mad.

As I finish my bowl of cereal, I realise that I probably should go shower as soon as possible, considering the night I had. I put my bowl and spoon in the dishwasher and head back upstairs. I grab a towel from my room and head into the bathroom, grabbing my various fur care products out of the cabinet for after the shower. As I turn the shower on, I hear the sound of my ringtone going off in the pocket of my pants on the floor. I sigh annoyedly, walking over and trying to figure out which pocket my phone was in. When I flip open the phone, the Caller ID reads out Tyler's name.

"Tyler! What's up?" I ask eagerly, hoping to find out what the news he cryptically texted about was.

"Jake- fuck, I messed up, I shouldn't have- what am I gonna do?" He said anxiously, sounding almost out of breath.

"Hey! Slow down, what's wrong?" I questioned.

"I'm such a fucking idiot! Why did I think this would be a good idea? Jake, I'm so sorry-"

"Tyler! Calm. Down. Just take a few deep breaths," I said. After a few moments, I can hear his breathing steadying on the other side of the call. "Okay, good. Now, what's wrong?"

There's a short pause as he tries to find the right words to say. It sounds like he's been crying. What even the fuck has been the past twenty-four hours?

"Can- do you think I could crash at y- your place for a few more nights? I don't know what to do."

[xsixxx]

Bad Influence, Chapter Six

Authors note: Ok so I really struggled with this chapter, hence my major delay, but thank you for bearing with me! 🙏🏼 So this is a super long one (for me) & I’ve just finished writing this at 5am after staying up all night, so I’m sorry for any mistakes etc. Also this is my first time writing a sex scene & I’m so super nervous & awkward about it, so please go easy on me 😂 Feedback is always welcome 🖤

Warnings: A bit angsty & some major smutttt but not the smut you want, that’s coming later (pun intended)

Tags: @triplehaitches @freddiessmallnipples @queen-crue @scarecrowmax @lovesick-heart0 @littlesunnymoon @80sheart-strings @cranberribread @inthebackofmycarlaytheirbodies @deaconsroger @zoenicoles @crazysaladchopshop @ggorehorror @lunamadhatter99 @justtryingtoovercome @chaoticvybe @you-know-im-a-dreamer @eightiesrockbaby @valentines-in-london @xrosegoldwolfx @sukimousepaw @lilypetite88 @this-blog-must-be-the-place

(Couldn’t find a suitable gif, so here’s one of the two stars of this chapter)

((I wanted a gif of that scene in the dirt when Vince is fucking that chick in the dressing room right before his gf takes back his leather pants but I couldn’t find one 😭😂))

Spring ‘83

I checked my make up in the mirror for the 10th time in as any minutes, pouting my lips & fluffing up my platinum blonde hair.

“Fuck Beth, you’d think Gene Simmons himself was coming back from this tour the way you’re dolling yourself up.”

I scowled at Sophias reflection in the mirror, her irritation evident as she stood in the doorway with one hand on her leather-clad hip, drumming her fingers impatiently. “Ew, no. Gene Simmons, what is wrong with you?!” I laughed.

“Really, you don’t see it?” She puzzled, furrowing her brow with an amused look on her face. “The make up always kinda did it for me..” She trailed off, giggling to herself before snapping out of her momentary daydream. “Anyway, can you just hurry your ass up, we’re gonna be late for work & Paul is already on our case!” She finished, referring to our boss.

“He caught us drinking with the guys once on shift, he’s hardly on our case.” I shrugged nonchalantly.

“Yeah, but he’s heard they’re coming back & he’s already on edge about the whole thing, he knows how they get & he’s planning on amping up security to keep them in check. I mean, they have just been kicked off of a tour with Kiss for bad behaviour, for Christs sake!” I rolled my eyes at her, always the sensible one nowadays. Sophia was right, of course. Mötley Crüe had become infamous on the Sunset Strip. They’d drink, fight & fuck, usually in that order, anything in sight & they showed no signs of stopping. The band was on their way up & people knew it, so everywhere they went, trouble, & girls, followed. And tonight, they were on their way back to the Whisky.

“How do I look, honestly?!” I asked nervously, turning to Sophia & gesturing at my outfit, smoothing out my high waisted acid wash mini skirt & fiddling with the collar of my leather jacket awkwardly.

“Well, if Vince doesn’t fuck ya, I will.” She winked, laughing. I smiled weakly before blowing her a kiss & turning back to check myself over once more, messing with my hair & trying to pretend I couldn’t feel the butterflies fluttering around in my stomach.

“Babe,” Sophia started gently, frowning “why are you stressing so much? It’s not like this is anything new.”

“I don’t know, it’s been like a month since I last saw him & he’s probably slept with god knows how many girls on the tour & I-”

“Beth, they played like 5 shows, how much damage could they do, really?!” I looked at her with raised eyebrows, laughing with amused disbelief at her naivety. Did she know them at all?

She caught sight of my face. “Ok, ok, you’re right, carry on.”

“Look, I know there’s nothing serious between us & I’m fine with that, honestly, I am. But I just don’t want to look like another groupie to him.. I - I just wanna look good, ok?” I rambled, realising I was sounding way more defensive than I was intending.

Sophia sensed my nerves. “Well, you make one fine ass groupie, Vince won’t be able to resist you.” She said playfully, before pausing, a slow smile appearing across her plump, pink lips. “& neither will Nikki.” She added smugly, her eyes twinkling mischievously.

I let out a high pitched, fake laugh at yet another one of her goddamn Nikki jokes. “You’re so fucking funny.” I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes. “When are you going to let that go?!”

She shrugged. “When you guys do us all a favour & fuck so we don’t have to be around your obvious sexual tension.”

“Soph, I hate the guy, he’s an rude, arrogant narcissist & I’ve got more sexual tension going on with Mick than I do with that asshole!”

“Hey now, don’t drag poor Mick into your fucked up Nikki fantasy!” Sophia chortled. “You can deny it all you like babe, but I’m your best friend & I know you, you love to hate that guy because secretly, except not really secretly, you wanna screw his narcissistic brains out.” She finished, grinning widely at her fabricated conclusion.

I scowled at her once again, tired of hearing these assumptions constantly over the last few months. “God, can we just stop with this now please?!” I begged, turning back to the mirror, stressing more than before. “Maybe I should go change..”

“No!” Sophia said quickly, grabbing my hand & pulling me towards the front door. “You look great, Nikki is gonna love it- I mean Vince.. Whichever one it is you’re trying to impress. Now can we please just go?” She begged, exasperated eyes looking pleadingly at me.

I sighed & followed her out, the anticipation of the night ahead lingering in the air as I shut the door behind me.

*Later, at Whisky A-Go-Go*

I took a long drag on my cigerette & exhaled the smoke into the brisk, refreshing breeze that swept through the night sky. I savoured the moment, knowing that, in a few minutes, whatever band was playing tonight would finish their set & the crowd would surge back to the bar, impatiently demanding their drinks & trying by any means to gain my attention, whether it be just to order or try to, usually unsuccessfully, hit on me.

The back door swung open as Sophia stepped out, armed with trash bags, distracting me from my moment of peace.

“What are you doing out here?” She asked, spotting me hiding on the other side of the dumpster. I waved the lit cigetette clutched between my fingers wordlessly in response. She frowned. “You don’t smoke.”

“Well I always end up smoking with the boys & I just figured I’d use it as an excuse to get some peace before the rush kicks off.” I shrugged, ignoring her obvious disapproval. Sophia had perfected her judgmental stare over the past 6 months, every time she saw me sniff a line of coke or come home tipsy. It’s not like she didn’t partake, in fact, she was almost as wild as Mötley were, keeping Tommy on his toes. But Soph couldn’t help but look at me the way I knew most people that knew me did; like I was some fragile, innocent being that needed protecting. I’m the good one, the well behaved child, the straight A student, the protective big sister, the motherless daughter with the overbearing father. I’ve spent my life being exactly what everyone expected of me. The boys were the only people that didn’t make me feel that way &, for a night every week or so, when I got to party with them, it was fun not being who everyone thought I should be & just being whoever I wanted to be for the night.

“It’s a shit habit to have,” Soph mumbled, pulling out a cigerette from her almost empty packet, placing it between her lips & lighting it. “You’re better off without it babe. Quit whilst you’re ahead & all that.”

“Thanks for advice, mom,” I responded, rolling my eyes as I took another drag.

“Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask, have you finished that paper for Dr Andersons psych class yet?” Asked Sophia, suddenly changing the subject.

“Erm.. You want the truth or..?” I grimaced, knowing I hadn’t even started my essay on the theory of human motivation.

“Beth, girl, come on!” Sophia whined, sounding irritated. “You know if you ask Anderson for another extension, she’s gonna loose her shit with you! You gotta stop slacking..”

I shot her a warning look. “I am not slacking”, I said cuttingly, offended by her words. I’d never been accused of not trying hard enough in my life & I didn’t like it.

Soph looked a little sheepish. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that, I know how hard you work. It’s just this is the second paper in a row you haven’t prepared for & you’re usual so on it, I’d just hate to see you fall behind because of..” She trailed off.

“Because I’m fucking a Vince?” I spat, suddenly angry.

“No, Beth. Come on, you’re twisting my words now. You know I’m all for you having fun, especially after how everything was for you at home, I don’t blame you for rebelling a bit. But I’m also just looking out for you, you just need to find a balance is all.” Sophia looked embarrassed, obviously regretting her change of subject. I glared at her, watching her chew her lip awkwardly, avoiding my stare. The rational part of me knew she was only trying to be a good friend, but the defensive side to me felt she was trying to shield me from having any fun, treating me like that fragile girl once again & it immediately brought out my inner hostility.

I flicked my cigerette across the alley & stormed past Sophia, catching her shoulder as I did. She whipped round to me, eyes ablaze with shock & anger.

“Excuse me, you did not just shoulder barge me!” She yelled, stunned.

“Why cant you just mind your own goddamn business?!” I screamed back, throwing my hands up in the air with exaggerated exasperation. “You’re supposed to be my best friend, you know everything I’ve been through better than anyone. I’m just trying to enjoy myself, do all the dumb shit I never got to do when I was 18. Why are you treating me like a damn kid?!” I could hear myself arguing like a teenager who’s parents wouldn’t let them out, but I couldn’t help it, I was belligerent.

“Maybe stop acting like a damn kid & people wont treat you like one!” She fired back.

“Fuck this.” I snapped, barging through the door & back into the hot, sticky air of the Whisky. I marched back behind the bar just as the band were playing their last few chords & grabbed a bottle of jack. I quickly poured a shot & necked it, seconds before Paul rounded the corner.

“Where’s the other one?” He asked, rudely.

“I’m here.” Sophia mumbled, rushing back, just as the crowd began shifting its way from the stage to the bar.

“Right, back to work, no more fucking breaks.” Paul spat, pointing at us both before disappearing off to his office, as per usual whenever the bar got busy. I stuck my middle finger up at him as he walked away, directing my anger at him. I heard a chuckle & turned around to see a familiar, dark figure in the sea of gig-goers, his eyes lost behind a mass of black hair, yet somehow I could still feel them trailing along the contours of my body. His lips were curled into his usual, heart-stopping smirk & I found myself catching my breath when I caught sight of him.

“Someone’s in a good mood, I see.”

“Not now Sixx, for fuck sake.” I muttered, taking an order & pouring the drink.

“Have you missed me, Angel?” He asked, flashing me a wicked smile, draping himself over the bar to get a better look at me. I ignored him, tending to customers & refusing to make eye contact. “I’ll take that as a no.” He chuckled, darkly.

“Nikki, I really haven’t got time & I’m not in the mood for your games.” I said sharply, finally looking into his dark, green eyes. My stomach knotted as his gaze burnt through me, reigniting that flame that only he could seem to light. And he knew it.

“What’s wrong, Princess?” He drawled, lazily.

“Can’t you see how fucking busy we are?! I haven’t got time for you!” I snapped at him, dropping a tumbler in my frustration, sending glass scattering in all directions. “Fucking great.” I growled, crouching down to clean it up, my impatience & anger growing more & more by the second, only made worse by Nikki, who was now smiling smugly at me from over the bar. “Unless you’re going to be any help to me, I suggest you leave.” I yelled at him, standing up & charging over to the bin with a dustpan full of broken glass. I took a deep breath as I emptied it, attempting to regain my composure. I turned back & immediately cussed under my breath. Nikki had hopped over the bar & was now talking to customers.

“What are you doing?!” I hissed as I marched back over to him.

“I’m helping you, like you wanted,” he shrugged, an aura of smugness about him, as he took orders.

“What I wanted was for you to go away!”

“See, I don’t think you want that at all.” He responded, sliding past me, his hand brushing against my lower back as we moved around the limited space behind the bar. “I think you’ll take any excuse to be near me.” He whispered in my ear as we crossed paths once again, his hands gripping my hips this time as he navigated past me. Me body reacted to his touch, my heart thrumming as I felt unwanted excitement flood my veins. I snapped to attention, determined not to let him get to me again.

“Well, if you’ve got it all covered here, you wont mind if I take a quick bathroom break, right?” It was my turn to smirk as I walked from behind the bar, seeing his face fall as I turned & sauntered away from him, letting my hips sway a little more than usual as I felt his eyes drop to my ass, as they always did.

I strode into the bathroom stall, locking it behind me, & rested my head on the cool, metal door, breathing sharply. Nikki had a talent for pissing me off & frustrating me in ways I couldn’t explain & tonight was not a good night for it. Between him, Sophia & Paul, I was wound up past the point of no return & the next person that crossed me was going to feel the full force of my pent up rage.

I was working on slowing my breathing when I heard the door to the bathroom open & shut. Within seconds, my head started vibrating as someone rattled the door to the bathroom stall violently, trying to get in.

“Occupied!” I yelled, my voice oozing irritation.

It shook once again, whoever it was clearly not giving up. I took a step back from the door, anger flooding to every inch of my body as my hand flew towards the lock & I wrenched it open. I was ready to hurl cathartic insult after insult at the poor, unsuspecting person that was to be the subject of my blind fury, when a skinny blonde fucker stopped me in my tracks.

Vince stood in the door way of the stall, leaning casually, his tousled blonde hair framing his chilsed face perfectly. He had on brilliant white jeans with rips at the knees & a distressed denim jacket with nothing on underneath & plastered on his face was the biggest, goddamn sexiest grin that immediately calmed my rage & sent my heart racing.

“You having a bad night doll?” He asked, doing his best to feign concern, the corners of his mouth twitching as he tried to hide his smirk. I took a second to drink him in, savouring the sight of him before I grabbed the collar of his denim jacket & pulled him roughly into the cubical with me, knowing exactly how I was going to satiate my temper. I slammed the door shut behind me & turned around to face Vince, pushing him down into a seated position on the closed lid of the toilet. His smirk was from ear to ear by now & there was a hunger in his eyes I wanted to satisfy so damn much. I straddled my legs either side of his, hiking up my denim skirt that was restricting my movement, exposing my strategically chosen lace black underwear. I sat down on his lap & pressed my mouth lightly against his, running my tongue across his plump, lower lip, tasting the remanence of whisky left there, a flavour I’d grown to love. I trailed my lips across his jawline, placing kisses as I went, until my teeth found their way to Vince earlobe, grazing their way along it as subtly began grinding my hips into his lap. He let out a soft, intoxicating groan that made me weak. I craved him.

Vinces fingers had wound their way into my hair & he grabbed a fistful, firmly pulling my head back, exposing my neck to him. I felt his smirk caress my skin as his nipped & sucked his way down my throat, leaving his mark as he went, before running his tongue back up, sending lustful shivers running down my spine. He brushed his lips across my chest as his hands left my hair, gliding their way down the contours of my body & under my shirt, roughly pulling it up & over my head. I felt him grow harder underneath me as he cupped my breasts in his hands, his tongue lightly flicking & caressing my nipples before he gently grazed his teeth along one, causing an involuntary moan to slip out of my parted mouth. I bit down on my lip, desperate to keep quiet, but Vince has other plans. He widened his legs, forcing mine open at the same time & slipped his hand between my thighs. He groaned as he felt my wetness through my lace panties & ran his finger teasingly back & fourth along the damp patch, causing me to squirm.

“Keep quiet for me now, Princess.” Vince teased, raising his eyebrows & smirking as he pushed my underwear to one side & slowly he eased one finger inside me, causing my to stifle a gasp of pleasure. His thumb brushed lazily over my clit, teasing me, driving me crazy with desire. My eyes closed & my head tilted back as he pushed another finger inside, moving them rhythmically at just the right speed to leave me wanting more. I bit down harder on my lip, trying my best to keep a moan from escaping as Vinces speed picked up. I rocked my hips back & forth against his fingers, pushing my lips roughly onto his to keep quiet, moaning into his mouth instead as he tasted my urgency.

Vince pulled my hair back once again, denying me of his lips. There was a look of arrogance dancing in his eyes as that he kept them fixed on mine, watching me intently as he brought me closer to the edge. I held my lower lip firmly between my teeth as his fingers moved faster & his thumb circled my clit in perfect harmony the way he knew drove me crazy, bringing me ever closer to the release I so badly needed.

“Let me see you cum baby.” He demanded, his eyes not leaving mine once, a sly smirk on his irresistible face. His words were all I needed as I reached the edge & came around his fingers.

“Fuck, Vinny, yes!” I yelled breathlessly, not caring who heard me. I felt the waves of pleasure crash around me as Vinces fingers carried on, pushing me to my absolute limits until I couldn’t give anymore & I grabbed his hand to stop him. He gave me a sly, proud smirk as he looked at my exhausted, content expression.

Christ, I needed that.

But Vince wasn’t done with me yet.

He slowly slid his fingers out from my wetness & brought them up to his lips, sucking on them sensually, making my still throbbing pussy tense in excitement.

“You taste so fucking good.” Vince smirked, watching me squirm with lust once again. I felt his rock hard cock constrained in his tight jeans & I rocked my hips into him once again. His smile widened & suddenly his hands were under my ass, picking me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist & buried my hands into his blonde hair, grabbing it & pulling his mouth on to mine. Within seconds, we were out of the cubical & Vince sat me on the basin countertop without a thought as to who might walk in. We didn’t care.

“I want you inside me.” I moaned, hastily undoing his jeans with intense urgency & pulling him towards me. I found my way to Vinces cock & he let out a low groan as I wrapped my hand around it, slowly stroking him up & down.

“I’ve fucking missed you.” He growled. It was my turn to smirk.

Vince pulled away, expertly rolling on a condom with ease, before pulling me panties to one side once again. He rubbed my wetness, as I grabbed his rock hard dick & guided it towards me, using it to tease my entrance, a cocky smile playing on my lips as I watched Vinces eyes grow dark with desire & impatience. His lip parted to complain, but I silenced him by swiftly easing him inside me. We both moaned simultaneously as he pushed all the way in, stretching me out.

Vince groaned as he began thrusting slowly, finding his rhythm. “I forgot how tight your perfect little pussy is.”

I wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling him deeper in to me as he picked up speed, his hips bouncing against mine. “Oh Vinny,” I moaned, raking my nails across his back, leaving my mark on his skin to repay him for the bruises on my neck. The pain caused his pace to quicken, as his hunger for me intensified. He grabbed my one leg & lifted it over his shoulder, giving himself a better angle to fuck me deeper, harder.

I felt the pleasure building once again with each stroke, bringing me closer to orgasm. “Don’t stop.” I panted, digging my nails into his hips. Vince groaned loudly as I started playing with my clit, the hedonism getting too much for us both to withstand. I threw my head back & bit my lips to suppress my moans as best I could as the waves of pleasure started reaching their crescendo.

Vinces strokes became delectably slow & purposeful, each one deeper than the last as we both began our decent into sweet release. Vince gave one last thrust that sent us both over the edge & I came around his cock as he came inside me, his forehead pressed against mine as our duel moans of pleasure filled the bathroom. The perfect harmony.

*Nikkis POV*

How fucking long does it take to have a piss?! I thought angrily, as I pushed open the door to the bathroom, Sophias not-so-polite request that I get “the fuck from behind the bar & go & find Beth” still ringing in my ears.

I heard them before I saw them, but my brain didn’t comprehend what I was hearing until my eyes fell on her.

Beth was sat on the countertop, one leg draped over my frontmans shoulder, the other wrapped around his waist as Vince stood with his back to me. Her fingers were gripping his hair like she was holding on for dear life, her head was titled back in the throws of passion & her face.. Her face was that of an angel, as it always was, but twisted & distorted with sin as I watched her cum before me. Her glossy pink lips were parted as sounds that I wished I was causing left her pretty little mouth. Her forehead was glistening with a light film of sweat, her eyebrows were furrowed & her eyes were clenched shut as she indulged in her release that I so badly wanted to feel.

It was heaven to watch her.

And hell to know that she wasn’t coming for me.

I felt intense, unwarranted jealousy descend over me as I watched the girl that I disliked with such ferocity, but still so badly wanted to demoralise get fucked by one of my best friends. I wanted to feel her nails in my skin as I wrapped my hand around her pretty neck. I wanted to see those big, innocent, doe-like eyes look up at me pleadingly as I brought her close to orgasm, only to stop, making her beg for me to touch her. I wanted to taste her delectable pussy & feel her cum against my tongue, her sweet voice calling out my name as I sucked her clit. God, how I fucking wanted her.

Beths eyes fluttered open & immediately fell on mine, causing me to snap out of my fantasy. I adjusted myself quickly, hoping she wouldn’t see the semi I had rubbing against my tight leather pants.

She seemed shocked & embarrassed to see me standing there in the doorway, yet still somehow she managed to look smug. Guilty, yet satisfied. She shot me a shit eating grin before she kissed Vince, her eyes fixated on mine as she did so.

I let out a loud, purposeful cough that caused Vinny to jump & instinctively pull away from Beth. He looked in my direction & visibly relaxed, shooting me a typically sly Vince Neil smile.

“Oh it’s just you Sixx,” he laughed, buttoning up his jeans as Beth climbed down from the worksurface with as much modesty as possible, adjusting her skirt as she did.

I ignored Vince, my face like stone as I kept my eyes on Beth. “Sophia is looking for you.” I said bluntly.

“Shit yeah, I need to get back.” She said quickly, turning to wink at Vince & give him a peck on the lips. “You have no fucking idea how much I needed that,” I heard her mumble seductively. Vince grinned.

“Anytime Princess.” He drawled. I could’ve punched his arrogant fucking face.

Beth stalked towards me, holding her head high & proud as she pushed past. Vince looked like he was about to say something, but I didn’t stick around to hear what it was. Against my better judgement, I followed Beth, my anger brewing.

“Have fun?!” I snapped at her, letting my frustration show without meaning to.

“Loads.” Beth smiled simply, looking me dead in the eye without hesitation. I felt my anger bubble closer to the surface.

“You know, I’m surprised he hasn’t gotten bored of you yet.” I shot nastily, wanting to rile her up. “Groupies never last long with Vince. You should’ve seen all the sluts her got with on the tour.” I let out a sharp, short laugh, convinced I’d strike a nerve.

“Huh, weird, isn’t it?” She shrugged. “That he always comes back to me. I must do something for him that the other girls don’t.” Her voice dripped with confidence as she walked behind the bar & back to work. “I wonder what it is I have that they don’t..” she finished.

Beth knew exactly what she was doing, she’d known me long enough now to figure out how to push my buttons & her new found arrogance was doing just that. But she wore it well.

I grabbed her arm as she walked past & pulled her in close, my anger & my desire at war inside of me. My lips found Beths & I brushed them against hers in the way that I knew drove her crazy, even if she’d never admit it.

“He’ll never satisfy you like I would, Angel.” I whispered.

Beth swallowed, her confidence visibly shaken & I smiled as I watched her eyes glisten with involuntary desire. I knew she couldn’t resist. “& h-how do you know that?” She stuttered, trying to regain her self-assured composure.

“Because he doesn’t know you like I do.” I mumbled, letting my lips graze hers as I spoke. “I see past your good girl, innocent act. I’ve said it before & I’ll say it again, there’s a little bit of devil in your angel eyes. You don’t want just sex, you want to be fucked, you want to know what it’s like to loose all self control, to be with someone that’ll fulfil your darkest desires, who will indulge your every fantasy. I can please you in ways you couldn’t even begin to imagine, Lizzy. I want to bring out the bad in you.” I finished, my eyes burning into hers with intense, desperate craving that I knew she felt too. She looked at me, her eyes almost fearful, but I could see the seductive intrigue lying just beyond that fear & I knew I was right about her. “So, what do you say?”

[protectwoc]

Some discussion topics after the amazing essay you wrote: Why is everyone so obsessed with trying to make Uma fit the "She Needs No Man, Independent Black Woman" caricature. Or: Is it not shady to anyone else why Carlos all of a sudden has straight hair for the next 2 movies (some are up in arms over Evie losing her curls) - is Disney trying to erase the obvious blackness in Carlos (supposed Latina-ness in Evie). Or: The total destruction of HarryxUma as a ship that seemed destined from D2.

Okay first of all, thank you so much for calling my brain vomit “amazing”, that means so much to me! Second of all, you posed some really great questions which is why it took me so long to answer this ask because I wanted to give an actual well-thought out answer.

1.  Short answer: racism. Long answer: because as per usual, fandom is obsessed with the “strong black woman” trope and refuses to let a black woman, especially a dark-skinned black woman, have the same passionate, “i’ll do anything for you” love that seems reserved for white characters. It definitely doesn’t help that Thomas and Dove are dating though, because that (combined with Dove’s unnecessary input) contribute to making Harry, who seems like the most obvious candidate for Uma’s love interest, look like a viable love interest for Mal, which canonically, he is not. I have more thoughts on this, but we’ll get to that. Also working against most most Uma shippers is the fact that the narrative actually goes out of its way to support the “don’t need no man” trope for Uma (see: failed Huma kiss, which I will never stop being mad about).

2. Honestly, until your question, I had never even thought about it. To be fair, some of the other characters (most notably Mal, also Jane) went through dramatic hair/wardrobe changes from D1 to D2. It also seems to me that they could have been trying to make him look more like the cartoon version of his mother, who had straight hair, but of course they racebent Cruella for the movie to keep Cameron Boyce’s (may his memory be a blessing) ethnicity through the movie, so that doesn’t make sense. I suppose that they could be trying to downplay his black ancestry within the movie, although I don’t know if the same could be said for Evie since, to my knowledge, Latinas don’t have definitively straight or curly hair, unlike black people. I do agree that it is strange, but I can’t say for sure that it has a racist connotation. I’d be interested to hear your thoughts though, anon, or anyone else’s if they want to chip in.

3. Okay, so Huma. Brace yourselves, this is about to get long. I’m going to preface this by saying that I’m not (primarily, at least) a Huma shipper. I don’t have anything against them or anything, and of course I support them, I just have other ships for Uma that take precedence in my head usually. With that said, I feel like that allows me to look at the ship’s trajectory more objectively, and I basically feel like all the shippers are right to be upset- you guys were totally robbed.

Because Huma was definitely hinted at/implied in D2, I don’t think anyone could argue that it wasn’t. But I have to disagree with you that Huma seemed “destined” from D2. I personally always believed that while Huma was implied in D2, that was where it would stay: an implication. I didn’t have any thoughts that Huma would be confirmed in D3, not because they weren’t a viable ship, they definitely are, but because they didn’t hit any of the beats that a traditional Disney romance does. 

Like, DCOM romances are very heavily telegraphed in a clumsy, kid friendly way. Remember every interaction Bal had in D1? The long staredown upon first meeting? “If you need anything, don’t hesitate to call me”? (or whatever he said, I can’t be bothered to look up the scene right now.) Every time Ben looked her up and down and Mal made that grumpy, not-into-it-but-im-obviously-into-it face? The entire scene by her locker where she tricks him into eating the love spell? And then they’re dating by their next scene and they stay there until D2. Just from a practical, we’re watching a DCOM not a Freeform original, standpoint Huma never had any of those very conspicuous “THEY’RE GONNA GET TOGETHER” moments.

That’s not to say, of course, that Huma didn’t have moments. They definitely did, basically any time they shared the screen. But I would argue that the kind of passion, devotion, and maturity that they showed was simply too much for a DCOM. If Descendants was a Freeform or Netflix original (which it totally should have been, but whatever, that’s a topic for another time) Huma would have been confirmed canon. But it’s not, so I expected them to have a few, similar moments in D3 but go completely unacknowledged.

But then.

Oh, but then.

BUT THEN THE WRITERS WENT OUT OF THEIR WAY TO ACKNOWLEDGE HUMA AND TO DESTROY IT. They made a point of contorting Harry’s established character trait of being an insufferable flirt WHEN IT CONCERNS UMA ONLY and decided to apply that to EVERY GIRL HE CAME INTO CONTACT WITH. And then, to add insult to injury, at the last possible moment, after he’s finally flirted with every named female character on Auradon, he finally turns to Uma- only to get hit upside the head with a flying “don’t need no man” trope.

THIS is what frustrates me about the Descendants writers. This was my major problem with Mal in “The Problem with Mal”, not just that it was bad writing, but that EVERYONE INVOLVED knew what they were doing and did it anyway. 

[cauldronoflove]

a/n: this is a prompt fill for tht writing meme i posted but it got. a little longer than it was supposed to so heres a seperate post for it! the chars belong to my darling friend annie @dantesaristotles but she lets me throw them around sometimes and im hella grateful for each opportunity!!!

---

28. "Marry me."

It had started off as a joke, really. Way back when Kyle was trying to renew his FAFSA for sophomore year and realized the difference.

"If I asked you to marry me," he said to Hugo one night, mid financial talk. They were back in Hugo's bedroom at his parents house, pne of the rare weekends they could both afford to come home and spend time together. He was curled around him, had an arm around his waist and his cold nose in the back of his neck. His voice was joking. "Would you say yes?"

"Probably," Hugo replied. Kyle could tell his eyes were shut and his nostrils had flared in that way they did when he thought something was funny, but was too tired to laugh.

"Might need you to if my grant doesn't come through."

"It will," he murmured, already on the fringes of sleep.

☆

The next time it had happened - or rather, the next time of substance - was a few months later. He was all set up in his new dorm room - housing indeed paid for by that very grant that had sparked the whole running joke - and it was Hugo's turn to make the trip from his college to Kyle's, instead of the other way around.

"Hey, babe," he said, spinning away from his desk to look over at Hugo, who was sprawled across his XL Twin bed with his phone held above his face to dutifully stay silent while Kyle wrote the conclusion to his essay.

"You done?"

"Nah, not yet."

"What's up?"

"If I asked you to marry me, would you say yes?"

"Why this time?"

Kyle took the rebuff in stride, having already had a genuine answer. "You know that movie with Melissa Joan Hart and Joey Lawrence? The one they always played on ABC Family?"

"Hold on-" Hugo said as he sat up quickly, his curls bouncing around his head. "This is a My Fake Fiancé scenario?"

"Listen," Kyle started back in, his hands coming up in front of him. "It could work. Also, I saw this immersion blender the other day and like-"

With an amused, terribly fond scrunch to his nose, Hugo proclaimed, "You're such a fucking dork."

☆

The third of great substance, because there'd been so many little ones that anyone would lose count, was far less happy than any of the rest.

Existential crises, Kyle had said over text, are one hell of a drug.

Hugo had promptly replied with ??? and it went on from there.

kyle: i just. i dont know this asshole thts probably named fucking thad or something equally as dumb said some dumb shit to me after class today? and i cant get it out of my head

hugo: hey whatever he said, its not true- do you want me to call you?

kyle: i dont know if i can rlly keep it together rn babe

hugo: are you crying?

kyle: like. 10% its no biggie

hugo: honey :(

kyle: if i asked you to marry me would you say yes

hugo: in a heartbeat

It was the closest thing Kyle had ever gotten to yes.

☆

It wasn't the last time, not by far, but it was the end of an era, the beginning of a new one.

They were graduated, post college by six months a piece, living together in a shitty apartment that they loved in the way cat people loved their cats, as in: "this is our apartment, her name is Asshole, she's a holy terror but we love her and you can't tell us shit about her."

Kyle was still in bed because it was Sunday and he didn't have a shift and fuck getting out of bed before noon, y'know?

But Hugo was standing at the dresser in nothing but long plaid PJ pants that obviously belonged to Kyle. He was rifling through his sock drawer, muttering to himself.

Kyle traced the freckles on his back, a lazy smile on his face, leisirely pace to his movements. Hugo was bathed in buttery sunlight, and Kyle loved him.

"Hey," he called, voice still thick and marred with sleep. "Hey, Hugs."

Hugo scoffed the same way he had since they were eighteen at the nickname. "What is it?"

"If I asked you to marry me," he said patiently. "Would you say yes?"

It took Hugo a long minute to turn around, and when he did, his face was one of exasperated anguish. "You had to ask that right now? You couldn't have waited two minutes?"

Kyle's face scrunched up, having never gotten a response like that, he was sufficiently taken aback.

"What? Why?"

"Because," Hugo bemoaned, dropping his knees onto the mattress and shimmying over. "It makes it sound so much less original when I do my thing."

Kyle quirked a brow, until Hugo raised his clenched hand up to reveal a plain little black velvet box.

"If I asked you to marry me," he said, holding the box out between them. "Would you say yes?"

Smartly, Kyle replied, "I'm sorry, what?"

"Marry me," he repeated, popping the lid on the ring box to show a simple silver band that if you inspected closely, had an inscription on the inside.

"Oh. I, yeah, oh." His brain wasn't firing all cylinders, the cogs were gumming up, he'd planned everything so perfectly, and yet Hugo had still beat him to it-

"Kyle?"

Quickly, Kyle fumbled at his pillow, shoving his hand into the pillowcase, and unzipping the zipper on the actual pillow - allergen shield, baby. He rooted around againt the actual pillow before finally extracting his own box.

"Are you seriously trying to steal my proposal right now?"

"Are you complaining?"

There were tears brimming in Hugo's eyes as he said, "No, you dumbass- how long has that been in there?"

"Forever. I knew I could leave it there 'cause you never make the bed," Kyle said with a wet laugh, hand coming up to smudge his own tears.

"Jesus, Kyle."

"I think someone has to say yes or we're just gonna be in stalemate forever."

"I proposed first, you have to say it first. Technically, you didn't even propose, so really-"

"Yeah, of course I'll marry you."

"I'll marry you too."

☆

Kyle had to resist the urge to tug nervously at his cufflinks as he recited his vows.

"I used to ask you, all the time, if I were to ask you to marry me, would you say yes. And it started out as a joke, but I think I realized, even when I was that dumb eighteen year old, I think I realized even then that I meant it. I love you, Hugo, and even if I didn't realize it way back in the beginning, my heart did - it's loved you from the start. So, I stand here before you, in front of our whole family, not just blood, but the one we found along the way too - whether it be Kiera, or Pheebs, Asher - for some reason - or our literal high school English teacher, the man whose class started it all for us - I stand before all of them, and I ask you one last time, in more words than ever before, if you'd like to spend the rest of your life with me, and before you give me you answer, I'll give you mine: I do."

Hugo was pushing tears away with the back of his hand, muttering something about how he'd had to get Kiera to help him with his vows, and yet he'd still blown him out of the water. But he nodded. And he recited his own vows. And on a sunny day, in the crispness of fall, Kyle Bellamy and Hugo Hansen became the Bellamy-Hansens, and they finally gave the simplest answer to the age old question, no hesitation in either of their declarations.

If I asked you to marry me would you say yes?

Yes.

[323398149]

I need a new therapist. I dont like this lady and she makes me feel like shit. She was like what's your goal here but the whole point is that I cant think when I'm put on the spot like obviously I'm not gonna have an answer for you cause you're freaking me tf out. I would have appreciated a headsup like here fill this out or think of these things before our appointment. Or also just read my file before our appointment??? Dont tell me "have we spoken before?" Like wtf that's not supposed to make me feel like a number? I gave you my entire life story last time and we spoke for hours and I would expect that we could carry that conversation because clearly I DON'T HAVE A PERCEPTION OF TIME and to me that feels like last month so can't you just re-read your notes and prepare????

I feel angry with myself for even asking for help, she just made me feel like suffering on my own and venting to friends was easier than this. I shouldn't hate myself more AFTER the appointment than I did before. I was honestly feeling good today and proud of myself for following up multiple times to get this appointment and now I feel like crap because I couldn't coherently answer any of her questions like when I tell you after a very long pause that my goal is to be able to speak doesn't that explain to you that I cant answer your question cause my brain is blanking ?

And he microphone quality was ass and everytime I asked her to repeat herself she wouldn't speak any slower/more coherent and I just felt dumb but clearly it's not my headphones cause i talk to people all the time and can hear fine you dont have to make me guess your words? And also at the end she like was so rude when she asked what my prescription was for and where my pharmacy is as if i was some criminal for asking for a refill like her voice turned harder than it already was and i almost wanted to be like okay nevermind i dont want it if you're going to make me feel bad i regret even asking gosh I'm sorry i swear I'm not some junky university student i swear I didnt abuse it like but I couldn't even say all this because that's my whole issue and I'd much rather we did some sort of journaling system where I could write my thoughts instead of say them because like i just told you i can’t speak to people why dont you get that

why am i apologizing i hate this i feel so horrible and i haven’t felt this bad in over a month and i did not have the energy for this in the middle of exam week 

i was PROUD of myself for coping and taking care of myself this year and not being depressed and now i just feel like shit like none of that happened because i didn’t tell someone? like it discredits all the effort i put in

and also i did journal whenever i wished i could make an appointment but couldn’t bring myself to make one and i did write down how i was feeling so it DID happen

why do i need a goal? can’t i just have someone to talk to and help me make sense of my brain, can’t that be my goal? i don’t know what i want to change because i don’t know whats wrong with me ive just always been this way and i don’t want to feel this way anymore 

im so angry my appt was supposed to be from 2:00 to 2:45 but she didn’t even email me ahead of time and then yeah i took too long to speak and now i have a headache but i wanted to finish my essay by tonight. 

i feel more alone and like i dont have an adult to turn to now more than i did before the appointment and idk what to do i want to die but i have to log back into work and have already gone over my break but im lucky because my manager has been off today gosh im just so mad at her and myself and i hated every minute of that and it did not make me feel better and i can’t do therapy out loud is my conclusion i need someone that will let me write to them