#Im sorry okay I just...
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dhampireblogger · 17 hours ago
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"the caitvi sex scene was so out of place!!!" my brother in christ, if I was convinced I had a 89% chance of dying tomorrow, I too would shoot my shot with the most beautiful british woman of piltover. idk
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lettuccine · 7 months ago
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i cant stop thinking about a post by @possamble so i made this
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inspired by this
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based on a fanart by BugsGay on twitter
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housederiva · 16 days ago
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Gaby Soto is a gift
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Edit: I missed one!
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wojtekaneko · 3 months ago
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That's how it went
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mmpookie · 26 days ago
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taking a break from our regularly scheduled program for mizi and (her very alive gf) sua from alien stage!
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introspectivememories · 3 months ago
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was it casual when i sat in your lap in public? was it casual when i said "recently my heart is crying because you're leaving"? was it casual when we decided how your last name would fit with mine? ("yuki tsunoda-gasly" / "no tsunoda, only gasly" / "yuki gasly?") was it casual when we sang adele's "someone like you" together at your going away party? was it casual when i knew it was you just by touching your ass? was it casual when i knew it was you by smell alone? was it casual when "will you miss me?" / "for 2-3 minutes maybe" / "i'll take that. even if it's just 2-3 minutes, i'll take that"? was it casual when that bus was completely empty and we still sat right next to each other, all the way in the back? was it casual when i picked you up multiple times so you could dunk a basketball? was it casual when i begged to come over to your house multiple time and then you finally let me and we cooked fried rice together? was it casual when we played christmas twister together and i said "your big eggplant is touching my ass"? was it casual when we were pressed up against each other on a scooter going two miles per hour? was it casual when-
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inkskinned · 4 months ago
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i had a dream last night that i organized a tumblr meetup and we all agreed to go to a local bar together. so i go to the bar but it was a really busy night and i didn't want to ask every stranger "are u here for tumblr reasons" bc that's embarrassing and i'm shy. so i just got a drink and felt very awkward & hoped someone would approach me. tried to look inviting and like i was from tumblr but not like i was "from tumblr". when i left some girl stopped me to ask if i was there for the meetup but i was too shy and asked what's tumblr?
in the dream i went home to make a post about how nobody showed up to the tumblr meetup but my entire dash was people saying they'd gone to the bar but were too fucking shy to admit to being on tumblr so we'd all just had a drink and gone home
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medicalunprofessional · 7 months ago
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sorry guys they finally showed me peak fiction . Its called “phantom of the paradise”
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fairsweetlonging · 2 months ago
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system wardrobe malfunctions and small scenario pushers: exteme edition au
after his qi deviation, shen qingqiu starts working on slowly building up relations with his fellow peak lords and disciples; saving liu qingge in the caves, spoiling luo binghe rotten, freely praising his students, inviting the sect leader over for tea, he's a whole new person!
and yet... his friendliness levels aren't going up.
he knows it's a bit icky to judge his relations with other people based on numbers an alien entity is giving him, but he needs them to survive, and he swears that once he's above a certain threshold (somewhere between "civil" and "friendly", he figures), he will mute every and all notifications regarding it.
but they're just not going up. since his deviation he's at least managed to claw his way from "hostile" to "tolerant" with most of them, but some are somehow still stuck in the "aloof" section! they wouldn't even care if he died!
he just doesn't know what he's doing wrong; he understands these things take time, but it feels so bad when people refuse to sit next to him or sigh when they're assigned a mission with him, especially since it's not his fault.
now, it so happens that, one day, the system hears his woes and takes pity on him.
【 user seems to experience difficulty increasing character favor levels 】
you could say that
【 would host like to utilize our special deluxe package to activate 'The Path of Blossoming Hearts and Unspoken Affections' free of charge? ₊˚⊹♡ 】
though shen qingqiu isn't trustful of the system's antics, he can't deny that so far they have helped him well enough, and since it's free of charge with no penalties, wouldn't it be a waste not to use it? the title is a bit dubious, but was the original shen qingqiu not known for his frozen heart? for never sparing a single nice word to anyone? this could be his chance to let it blossom without the system nagging on his characterization.
【 accept optional mission? [yes]/[no] 】
he picks [yes].
two weeks later, he wishes he hadn't.
the package is devided into small scenarios that mostly appear at random, ranging from small dialogue challenges where he has to pick the right option (he really doesn't like those, the dehumanization of it makes his skin crawl), to the equivalent of two rivals getting locked in a room together.
the first few scenarios are minor and not very impactful, to the point where he's finished three of them and his favor count with qi qingqi has increased a whopping +2 (still "aloof") and that of wei qingwei +5 (still "tolerant").
his fourth scenario, however, reminds him of exactly why he should never accept gifts from strange screens floating in the sky.
he's on a nighthunt with liu qingge to slay a mirebeast that's been terrorizing travelers—an amphibious creature with thick, slimy skin, a crocodile tail and a leech-like mouth that shoots mucus when threatened... and shooting mucus it did.
while his clothes can easily be cleaned with a cleaning talisman, he never feels truly clean himself unless he actually bathes. luckily, there's a beautiful, glass-like pond nearby that's surrounded by natural demonic-repellent vegetation, a win! he's just draped his clothes over a nearby branch and submerged himself in the water, when the system rings out.
【 heads up! small scenario "Stolen Silks and Sunlit Waters" is about to begin! penalty: none. wishing user good luck (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶) 】
hold up—stolen what.
stolen silks. his silks. stolen by a mossy-jade stag that happens to scratch its huge antles on the exact tree he hung his clothes on, which rattles the branch and causes his robes to fall exactly onto its head, spooking it into a gallop as it disappears into the forest.
how. how does that even happen.
shen qingqiu is just about to get out of the water when of course liu qingge chooses that exact moment to stomp into the glade looking for him, even though he should have been miles away to the village to ensure the people the beast is dead.
for anyone looking in from the outside, it's not a bad picture: shen qingqiu, with his hair pulled up and away from his slender neck, submerged to his (very bare!) pale shoulders in golden sunlit waters, surrounded by lotus flowers and lily pads. to liu qingge, this must be a terrible view, apparently—shen qingqiu can think of no other reason that would cause his face to flush so bright red.
liu qingge tosses his outer robe on the grass between them and turns resolutely around. it's only a bit insulting—is shen qingqiu not pretty enough to try and sneak a look at? even just a glimpse? meanwhile liu qingge is trying really hard to mentally recite the ethics sutra to not fixate on the sound of shen qingqiu getting out of the water (naked!!) or the rustle of fabrics as he wraps liu qingge's robe around his (naked!!!!) body. when liu qingge turns around he flushes an even darker shade as he sees shen qingqiu's bare legs and feet sticking out from under the robes.
"thanking shidi," says shen qingqiu, who notices none of this, as he pulls the robe a little closer around him, "for coming to this one's untimely rescue."
liu qingge grunts, turns, and walks away.
【 congratulations! liu qingge's favor increased. character satisfaction points +50. please continue to work hard! 】
shut up
【 ૮(˶╥︿╥)ა 】
they return to the sect victorious, but very embarrassed. the mirebeast gets all the blame. where his clothes are? well—uh, gone. the mucus dissolved them. yes he knows that's not how mucus works but it did this time okay?!!
yue qingyuan acts a bit strange seeing shen qingqiu wearing liu qingge's outer robes. he almost qi deviates when he finds out his shidi is wearing absolutely nothing under it. it's all very dramatic. apparently the sect is made up of people who shower with their clothes on or something.
【 ⁺‧₊˚bonus scenario!!˚₊‧⁺˖ interactive dialog quest: pick the best suited options to win additional favor points! 】
i don't like where this is going
"shidi?" yue qingyuan asks, looking at him with those big worried puppy eyes.
【 choice A: (demure) this shidi is cold. will you not invite me in at least?
choice B: what are you looking at?! mind your own business stupid old man!
choice C: i'm in love with liu qingge 】
WHAT
if he was drinking tea he would have spat it out, and then coughed himself to death. what the hell kind of options are these!!
【 system has based these options on what will earn (or lose!) user the most points. please pick one. 】
[ admin notes: option A will earn +60 points. option B will neither increase nor decrease points. option C will decrease -100 satisfaction points and increase +200 heartbreak points ]
shen qingqiu silently curses the system. option B is way out of line, even for the original shen qingqiu, who probably would insult yue qingyuan, but not with so little class. he doesn't even consider option C an actual option. and, well, he is cold. and wet. and almost naked. he would like a warm bath and some clothes. A it is then.
he doesn't like the way yue qingyuan's face light up when he grits out the dialog.
【 congratulations! yue qingyuan's favor increased. character satisfaction points +60! keep up the good work! 】
he can't keep doing this much longer.
unfortunately, he does have to keep doing this for much longer.
he's just about to go to bed when someone knocks on the door. luo binghe is already sleeping so he goes himself. just as he's about to open the door the system rings out—but it's too late.
shen yuan is used to wearing old tshirts to bed and no pants (he hates the feeling of his legs being restricted while he sleeps), so he doesn't really care when the only equivalent of this in pidw is a silk nightgown. his mother wore them, his sister wore them. hell, one of his brothers once bought one for fun and ended up using it for months. it's florally embroidered with puffy sleeves and reaches to his knees, that's decent enough, right?
【 heads up! small scenario "Dreamy Encounters at Dusk" is about to begin! good luck! 】
he has no idea what that's supposed to mean and he doesn't care. he opens the door, and it's mu qingfang. not... that unusual, but still.
"can this master help you?"
it takes mu qingfang a moment to remember what he's here for, it seems, because he stares at shen qingqiu for a good few seconds before raising an eyebrow like he's caught him doing something wrong.
"does shen-shixiong always answer the door like this?"
shen qingqiu glares back. "only when unsolicited guests come stumbling around my porch in the middle of the night."
"fair enough."
apparently he's here on behalf of yue qingyuan, who had asked him to do a post mission check up as soon as he was available, which is now. which yue qingyuan had apparently forgotten to relay to shen qingqiu himself. awesome.
he invites mu qingfang in (he can hardly close the door on him, it's late for him too!), and sits through the usual poking and prodding.
the system is prodding, too.
【 would user like some advice on how to maximize point earning? 】
no
【 ( •̯́ ^ •̯̀) system is only trying to help!! 】
i really don't need your help with this, thanks. i can keep a conversation on my own.
【 optional system booster: not mandatory. user may choose to decline this quest.
option 1: this one appreciates your care. the hardship is... unexpected. (look away shyly). i find it difficult to accept help sometimes, even when i need it.
option 2: i'm in love with you.
option 3: stand up and pretend to faint into his arms 】
shen qingqiu is about to spit blood—what the HELL is this!!! why do all your options make you look bipolar HUH??? and what's this about professing my love to people?!! why is that always an option??! this isn't a dating simulator, stupid system, they'll think i'm crazy!
【 all these options result in an increase of character satisfaction points (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶) 】
HOW
【 (ó﹏ò。) user seems misinformed about character preferences. [mu qingfang] likes to take care of people! 】
... i decline the quest. booster. whatever. i'll figure it out myself. and stop talking about him like he's some one dimensional character!
they hear stumbling coming from the little side room, then the creaking of floorboards. binghe peeks through the door, hair sleep-ruffled and his robes pulled on over his sleeping clothes.
"shizun?" he asks, worried, "what's wrong? why is mu-shishu here?"
【 ⁺‧₊˚bonus scenario!!˚₊‧⁺˖ interactive dialog quest: pick the best suited options to win additional favor points! 】
oh god, not again.
【 option A: (gently) nothing is wrong, binghe. this master is alright. go back to sleep.
option B: (gently) nothing is wrong, binghe. this master is alright. (invite him to sit next to you during the examination)
option C: (gently) nothing is wrong, binghe. this master is alright. mu-shidi is just keeping me company tonight. 】
huh. so you can give meaningful options that i would actually consider picking?
【 ◝(ᵔᵕᵔ)◜ 】
[admin notes: option A will decrease -100 points for luo binghe. option B will increase +20 points for luo binghe. option C will decrease -300 points for luo binghe, and increase +20 points for mu qingfang. option A & C increase luo binghe jealousy levels with 400 points].
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unsurebazookacore · 11 months ago
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watching percy pet that white gecko in ep2 with the biggest fricken grin on his face single-handedly cured my depression for the rest of the calendar year
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the-phantom-peach · 1 year ago
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Meeting the Light Dragon ✨🐉
[tagged as spoilers!]
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cowardlykrow · 9 months ago
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“Not my circus, not my monkeys”… Except those are his monkeys and they are the circus
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crunchchute · 8 months ago
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My Sam & Max cosplay I debuted at a local con during the weekend!
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okaioh · 6 months ago
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chat is this anything
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fandomfan315 · 8 months ago
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Hozier's new songs just dropped . Fun fact about me: I've never been normal about this man. Excuse me while I go absolutely insane.
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kookjinnies · 11 days ago
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idk i think it would be neat if they formed a group cr. Sv__________v2
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