#Im aware these colors do not really go together or look good together on some of these but thats just the nature of winx character design

[nilolol30]

Hey can you do scenarios of Wukong and Macaque comforting reader of they forgot their birthday?

(I didn't know if you'd want them together or separate sorry if it was together)

Wukong

Everyone is aware of how easily something's slip over the great sages head but after awhile you two got together he promised he'd always remember every special moment and occasion with you including birthdays.

He had many close calls but never forgetting he went so far to put the date of your birthday on his kitchen fridge, bedroom wall and even a small note on the bathroom mirror it was really sweet but he was bound to forget once.

You received a few birthday calls and texts in the morning from the gang they asked if you could come down to Piggy's Noodles so they could treat you out.

Starring at the text you look over to Wukong who was laying on the couch watching a movie with the little monkeys "Hey you wouldn't mind if I go to Pigsy's for a bit right?" Wukong looked over to you "Uh yeah I don't mind you don't need my permission peaches" he let out a small laugh.

"You want to come with me?" You slightly hoped he'd say yes at least you'd celebrate together "Nah I'm good" he smiled and went back to watch the TV again it's then you realized he forgot but it's okay you didn't want to bother him and it was just another birthday nothing special.

"Okay see you tonight then..." but you gotta admit it still stung a bit.

After you left one of the little monkeys stared at Wukong unimpressed the sage could feel it he looked at the monkey next to him "What?" The monkey only sighed and jumped off the couch and made it's way to the kitchen.

"Well someone's in a bad mood" rolling his eyes Wukong went back to watching the movie after a minute the little monkey jumps back on the couch and shoved a piece of paper in their kings face.

"Hey hey! What's going on with you today what's this?" Wukong takes the paper a read it...it had your birthday written on it and his face immediately fell into disbelief "CRAP" he jumped up from the couch and immediately ran out of the hut and summoned his cloud and speed down the mountain.

He managed to catch up to you halfway down and hugged you "Im so sorry! Im such a jerk peaches I promised not to forget and I did I love you so much happy birthday I'm so-" you hushed him before he continued to apologize again and again you hugged him back.

"It's okay honey! It's not that important-" "Yes it is! You being born should be celebrated! Even all over the world!!" He chipped in and giving you kisses on the cheek "Okay okay but still it's okay!"

After that Wukong went with you to Pigsy's and insisted on treating you and pampered you the entire day while still slipping in some apologys.

Macaque

Macaque rarely forgets things he always tries to keep even the smallest details in his mind but everyone gets forgetful especially after a extremely busy few days you left earlier today even inviting Macaque to come with but he declined.

He thought he saw a flash of disappointment on your face but you smiled and said okay and left now he's laying in bed eating a banana he grabbed through a portal.

Halfway through the banana he decided to listen in on you he swears he only does it to check up on you so he was surprised to hear a friend of yours tell you happy birthday he immediately paused mid bite when he connected the dots.

"Oh sh*t..." He threw the half eaten fruit out the open window and immediately went to work.

You walked to your front door unlocking it your other hand holding a bag with some presents your friend/family gave you when you heard the click you pushed the door with your foot but let out a small gasp at the sight in front of you.

The living room was decorated with streamers and balloons themed with your favorite colors and Infront of you was Macaque himself kneeling holding out a cake with frosting that said 'Im sorry happy birthday!!' You smiled closing the door and putting down the bag.

"Macaque...thank you and it's okay" he smiled and stood up setting the cake on the table "Still though sorry about this morning should have realized sooner" you gently put your hand on his cheek and gave him a kiss on the nose.

"It's fine but you didn't have to do this" you laugh looking at the decorations "Uh yes I did! What kind of boyfriend would I be hm?" Macaque took your hands and lead you to the couch "Now how bout we light some candles so you can have your birthday wish!"

[may-nr1rooftoptriodefender]

What comes next

pairing: Levi Ackermann x f.reader/kinda oc

(it’s supposed to be reader but there are a few things important for the story… Nothing is mentioned in this chapter but for it to make sense in later chapters Im gonna say it. She has no first name bcs I suck at names but she has a last name. Her family and her background is already set. Hair color is black)

summary: When Yelena and her people arrive at Paradis, Levi finds himself in a tricky situation.

warnings: might contain Spoiler for Season 4!, set during 4 year time skip, ooc Levi?, kinda explicit (mentions of sex and vague descriptions) <- it’s not filthy hardcore but it’s there,…

(if i forgot anything I’m sorry, it’s 4am rn)

notes: Hi! I’m back y’all. First published Levi story, yay. Soo before we start, there are going to be more parts. This is just a little intro and the moments described happened in the past, next parts ain’t going to be flashbacks. English isn’t my first language so if you find any mistakes pls let me know🙏 tips are always appreciated.

Lastly, this is kinda smutty so I’ll put a MDNI here. You have been warned, if you still proceed to read, it’s on your own risk. I cannot stop you from reading anything but at least be aware of what you’re reading! (this is like the first smutty thing I published so bear with me..)

masterlist

part I

Seeing the outside world- the ocean, finding out about the enemy- Marley, the truth about the titans,.. it was hard to process. they needed new plans- new strategies to defeat Marley. Eren was their ultimate weapon. With him on their side they had to win. But how?

When Marley send out one of their ships to Paradis, it was like a gift. The second ship marked the arrival of their new accomplices. Yelena and her people were more than helpful. But Yelena wasn’t the only one. Onyankopon, Niccolo, and her.

Normally, he wouldn’t care. A soldier from Marley is nothing special. But she was so different at the same time. It was strange that all of them wanted to help Paradis. They betrayed their own country for them.

In order to come forward with their research, they accepted Yelena’s help. They started to build outside the walls. The titans were all gone, no need to worry now. Some were forced to help, some wanted to.

Niccolo wasn’t very impressed at first. He was complaining nonstop while cooking the seafood for the scouts. After Sasha took the first bite, he shut up quickly. He was quite flustered actually. She and Yelena were there too. She found it hilarious.

Laughing loudly with a quiet ‘I told you’ at the end.

Just like Yelena and Onyankopon, she never seemed to hate the Eldians of Paradis Island. He hated it. Thinking about her. She wouldn’t leave his thoughts. He tried, he really did- she was the enemy after all. But he couldn’t. He tried to see something he wouldn’t like. And maybe he didn’t like talkative people. Or people who invade personal space. But at the same time, she was a bit shy. She would give space if he needed it.

She was the only one who dared to come closer than the rest. Even if he was supposed to be enemy. This conflict was going on for years now.

Even if he didn’t really show it, he didn’t mind her tired eyes looking into his. Or how she sometimes followed him like a lost puppy. How she always greeted him when he entered the room. The way she says his name…

‘Good morning Levi.’

‘How are you Captain Levi?’

‘Do you need anything Levi?’

‘Levi.’

But is he really that special? It’s not like he’s the only one she’s friendly with. She greets everyone. She talks to everyone the same. She always smiles when someone said something funny.

But not everyone gets a knock on their door at every possible hour of the day.

‘Could we have some tea together Levi? I think I have a few more ideas regarding…’

‘Hanges the commander, You should go to her.’ , is what he should say. But he lets her in. Every time. Conversations are nice, if it’s with the right person. He isn’t talkative, so she does the most of talking. He normally would prefer it quiet, yet he doesn’t mind the conversation. She’s always calm, it’s never about difficult topics, she stays polite,…

He wants to hate it. They notice. Everyone sees that she spends more time with Levi. But that he actually likes his time with her goes unnoticed. And it’s not like she tries anything with him. Hange said to him once that she probably tries to befriend everyone. Showing that she isn’t the enemy.

‘And you know, it’s so hard to read you, she wants to make sure that you two are on the same side!’

Hange didn’t help his problem.

He genuinely thinks that those are her true intentions. There’s this other side though. What if she’s a spy for Marley. What if she’s trying to get more information. What if she wants us to trust her so she can betray us.

But she wouldn’t do that, would she?

No.

He still has to be careful. Actually, he fucked that up too. It’s too late for being careful.

He couldn’t resist when she looked at him with those eyes. These damn eyes. And her smile. How could someone look at him this way? No one ever did. He can’t believe it. But he wants to. He wants to be selfish for once.

One evening, she would come to his door again. With two teacups in her hand.

‘Would you mind if we talk?’

He could never say no to her. So she comes in. She sets the two teacups down and starts to prepare everything. Levi just sat down. He wanted to help her, but every time he tried she refused. He doesn’t like how other people do his tea. This was his room and she, a prisoner from Marley, tells him what to do?

He accepts it. When everything is ready, she sits down with him and they drink their tea. She starts talking, he replies sometimes. It’s nice.

Somehow, their usual routine changed. She did nothing wrong. One small slip up and it was over. He was listening, until she stopped talking. Looking him directly into the eyes. The smile from before slowly fading. Did he do something wrong? Well fuck.

And then the unexpected came. She complimented his eyes. He expected everything, but not that.

‘What.’

‘Your eyes. They’re beautiful. With the grey and the little blue sparks… You don’t see that often.’ Her smile was returning.

‘Why would you say that.’

‘Huh? Because it’s the truth?’

Not a lot people made him compliments. He has gotten love letters before, or weird request. But not compliments. They either found him to scary to say that to his face, or they simply didn’t find anything to compliment. Well maybe expect on the battlefield. On how he did a good job or something like that. But not about his appearance.

They loved to comment on his height rather than his other features.

And that was his moment of weakness. He didn’t know what to say. And he didn’t. He grabbed the base of her neck and brought her forward to his face. He kissed her. He didn’t know why he did it. He didn’t know why she kissed him back, bringing her hand up to his cheek. This was his sign to stop. He pulled back and stared at her. His eyes were wide because what the fuck just happened. Why did he do it. Shit she’s going to slap him now.

She looked at him. Not one word came out. Levi did the only rational thing.

‘Don’t take that personal.’

‘I won’t.’

‘Okay.’

…

‘Will you take it personal if I do it again?’

He should’ve said no, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t say anything, so he shook his head. A tiny smile formed onto her face and she pressed their faces against each other. He didn’t mind, even if he should.

She also didn’t take it personal when they left the kitchen. Or when she sat on the bed, when he followed soon. Or when he undressed her. She didn’t mind him seeing.

He didn’t take it personal when she whispered his name. It was so different compared to the other times. Only for him to hear. It felt good.

He didn’t take it personal how she let him do things he could only dream of.

How it could even get to this point. They shouldn’t have. The only thing he could focus on was the way she looked when he touched her. This beautiful face still looking at him this certain way.

No one could know. This intimate moment together. How she moaned his name. How he held her even closer every second. How good they looked together. How good they felt.

It was so against the rules. They were from two different worlds. Their countries were at war, yet they decide to forget all that for what? The world was cruel. He wanted more of that.

No one really knew what to say afterwards. Both in his bed. He felt filthy. Not because of what they had done, but because of what he had to do now.

‘You should clean up and then go to your room again. It’s getting pretty late.’

He couldn’t even look at her. But he saw the nod in the corner of his eye. She stood up and fuck- he might do it again. It wasn’t only the sex, her in his room, his bed, he wanted that. She looked so beautiful like this.

She started collecting her clothes and just as she was about to put them back on-

‘Clean up here. You can’t go back like this.’

Only a nod again. She looked guilty. A bit sad even. Before she could really disappear in his bathroom she turned around.

‘Levi-‘

‘That wasn’t personal either. No one can find out about this. We would get into trouble, you hear me?’

It was harsh, but he had to set boundaries. This went too far already no need to make it worse.

He could only dream of what was about to come.

———

I almost forgot- Happy Birthday Levi!!

requests are always open (I need ideas please🙏🙏)

Song recommendation - White Dress by Lana Del Rey

[samaraxmorgan]

Hello it is me, the Yap Anon but in my true form, before I yapped again I drew some eyes and i wanted to share them because I think the colors are cool.

NOW TIME TO YAP, OK SO I KNOW I KEEP GIVING YOU LIKE SUGGESTIVE-ISH IDEAS SO YOU GET AN ANGSTY ONE, SO WHAT IF HEAR ME OUT HERE, WE COME HOME FROM A LONG DAY AT WORK TO FIND SUKUNA OPENING THE DOOR AND WE LOOK AT EACH OTHER BEFORE SUKUNA SAYS 'Where the hell have you been?!' WHICH SHOCKS US BEFORE WE REPLY SOMETHING ALONG THE LINES OF 'Work' AND SUKUNA MUMBLES SOMETHING UNDER HIS BREATH ABOUT OUR JOB WORKING US TO DEATH AND HE TAKES OUR HAND (How scandalous) AND BRINGS US INSIDE SETTING US ON THE COUCH BEFORE SCOLDING US FOR NOT TEXTING HIM WHERE WE WERE AND WE RESPOND WITH SOMETHING LIKE 'Why would you care' OR 'it's not like you'd notice or care' WHICH MAKES SUKUNA MAD SO HE GRABS OUR FACE AND MAKES US LOOK INTO HIS EYES WHILE HE SAYS 'I do care, no matter how much it seems I don't I care, please, don't worry me like that again' AND WE'RE JUST SPEECHLESS BECAUSE WTF SUKUNA CARES ABOUT US AND WE GAWK AT HIM BEFORE COMPOSING OURSELVES AND HUG, PLUS SNUGGLING AS A TREAT BECAUSE :3

IM SORRY I KNOW THIS IS STRUNG TOGETHER HORRIBLLY BUT I THINK IT'S SUCH A FUN IDEA FOR SOME SILLY ANGST, I'M SORRY IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT.

REMEMBER HAVE AN AMAZING DAY/NIGHT :DDDD

HELLO BABE GOOD TO SEE U AGAINNNNN!!! True form I LOVE THAT FOR YOUUUU <3 and I loveeeee the drawings they look SO COOL!! The colors are so nice I love it!!

AAAAAA HIM BEING SO LOWKEY POSSESSIVEEEEE!!!!! SOOOO I have a very similar thing coming in a part soon!!!! We’re out in the city with him and we lose our phone and he spends HOURS trying to find us hehehehe :) he’s so MAD when he finally tracks us down but it’s just because he was worried fucking sickkkkkk

Ugh the idea of him shit talking our job I love it askalakk <3 I used to work at a place that treated me like SHIT and I knowwww he would fucking storm in there and curse my old boss out!!! King!!! And also I bet he HATES us having to stay late and work overtime because he’s always secretly staying up waiting for us to get home, both bc he wants to spend more time with us but also because he wants to make sure we’re safe!! I bet after something like this he would ~casually~ suggest downloading Life 360 ASKAKKAKS

God I know he was pacing around the apartment constantly checking the time watching as we were supposed to be home at one time but then an hour goes by, and another, and ANOTHER and he’s losing his MIND thinking something happened to us. I’m not gonna get too into it bc I don’t wanna spoil BUT I have his backstory planned out and let’s just say… he’s not exactly accustomed to regular every day jobs and he’s also VERY afraid of losing the people he cares about. So the first time we stay late at work he’s in a full PANIC

He doesn’t mean to lash out, but he tends to show fear through anger. We think he’s being over dramatic, unreasonable, but he’s got past trauma that we’re not aware of; and believe me he IS relieved that we’re okay, but his emotions are running HIGH and he’s having a hard time keeping them contained.

And when we ask him why he would care he’s stunned into silence. His mind is running, because how could we POSSIBLY think he doesn’t care? How bad has he been with showing us how important we are to him? Do we really think he doesn’t value us? He’s always been a firm believer that actions speak louder than words, but for once he realizes that he’s gonna need to communicate verbally, as much as it kills him to do so.

He’s not exactly graceful with his words, but we can tell that he’s TRYING. His hands cupping our cheeks to keep our gaze locked on his and the look in his eyes is so serious, so genuine. He DOES worry about us, he DOES care for us, and he tries so hard to hide it because he hates being vulnerable, but for us it’s worth it <3 We give him a hug and he squeezes us a little too tight that it hurts, he waits a little too long to let go, his fingers linger a little too much on our skin, and the look he gives us is a little too close to lovestruck, but how could we be sure?

And I got a LITTLE TOO carried away ASSKAKAK ANYWAYYYY!!!! If u couldn’t tell I LOVED this idea hehe

I hope you have a wonderful day :) !!!!

[qwesty-030]

hello ASP fandom

I’ve been lingering on the ASP tag for a while bc I wanted to find ppl that like the book as much as i do. I’ve seen all the beautiful fanart and whatnot. and I wanna thank yall bc I’ve been inspired to make my own post ✨! I too shall contribute to the ASP fandom too bc tumblr is the only place i can find an active asp fandom🧍

thank you and have a nice day

—

so uhm these are my designs for Finny and Gene. I drew these back when I started reading A Separate Peace in my high-school sophomore year. They’re pretty old drawings. At the time, I only drew these just to have some faces to put a name on (to help me visualize easier idk)

Well fast forward, my class finished reading ASP and I have been an ASP addict ever since.

okay im going to word vomit now

okay erm thought process of these designs:

Finny-

i tried to make him as book accurate at possible but ngl i actually i thought he was a red head before i looked up what he actually looked like. I genuinely wouldve believed he was a red head if i didnt looked it up (yes im referring to the ppl propagating redhead finny)

i gave him very sharp features and a somewhat messy hairstyle to symbolize his wild nature but also neat enough to get him by in school.

His shirt usually untucked or hastily put on. Most times he has his coat off or unbuttoned

he has some freckles and moles too YAY

Gene-

made him the most basic looking guy with the most basic features: black hair and brown eyes (okay ik his hair looks blue and u can barely see his brown eyed but i was limiting myself on colors GSSSYSHDHHSHA )

ofc i HAD to make him the complete opposite of Finny. His features are more squarish and rounder. because he always does random 90° angles out of nowhere

his hair is more neat and put together compared to Finny’s. It’s very structured to be square shaped. i like to think he uses a little bit of gel but it’s not a tight slickback. he lets his hair go loose bc he wants to follow Finny’s footsteps and be wild and free too 🤩🤩 yet he can’t help but follow the standard of having a neat slick hair and ofc follow school dresscode 🤷‍♀️

his fit is also more put together. he always makes sure his tie is neat and his coat is buttoned up most times

i gave him a mole :)

this was a fun one to make cuz he literally never describes himself in the book💀💀 i find that really interesting tho. perhaps it was on purpose so readers can relate to Gene more by emotion and not feel distanced by physical features

(yea i obviously put in a lot more thought into Gene’s design than Finny’s)

(i still love them both tho)

FUN FACTS YES THERE’S MORE:

honestly thought Finny was a latino and/or hispanic cuz of his tan skin. (im well aware white ppl can look tan and not be a hispanic but also hispanics and latinx could also look pale white i was lowkey a little ignorant back then 💀.) idk maybe he could have some hispanic blood 🤷‍♀️

do not mind the messiness and low quality, i did this in the dead of night on a note-taking app called Notability

that last note may sound absolutely unrelated BUT WAIT! I actually have a whole stock of ASP Notability doodles! More to come!! maybe…

if i feel like it…….

we’ll see

their hairstyles and clothing are based on actual 1940s styles :D it’s my favorite thing about their design especially their hair. it was fun researching and incorporating historical trends

the chair Gene is sitting on is supposed to be the Early American chair from Finny’s house! I did not put any effort into the chair whatsoever 😀

although i gave Finny short hair, I’ve come to see how good long hair Finny is

Yup that’s all for now. Thank you all who stopped by. It’s so nice meeting u guys!!

[dionysianfreak]

hi lovely ^__^ love your blog and dionysus altar. i definitely feel a strong pull to dionysus but im not really sure how to reach out and talk to him (im not super great with visualizing things via meditation) any tips would be appreciated !! 🍷🍇

hello sunshine ! 🌻 thank you so much, I really appreciate your kind words. I'm glad that you feel drawn to Dionysos, He's such a wonderful Deity to start a relationship with.

the simplest way to make contact is to simply begin worship or devoting time towards familiarizing yourself with Him. this looks different for many people, so you could:

build your own shrine/altar, physical or digital. i like to think of shrines as building a new room in your home for the Deity to exist in. this is because shrines are sacred spaces between you and Them, just like the living room is sacred between members of a household. it is where you come together for important events or simply just to be together

listen to the world around you. in the woods, if possible simply because I personally feel very in tune with Him in nature. even sitting in your yard would be good. the point is the become aware of the world. watch people go by. what colors are the cars ? how many different bird songs do you hear ? i believe Dionysos is the Bliss of awareness, so be aware of your slice of the world.

divination is ol' reliable. my personal favorite are tarot, shuffling music, and bibliomancy:

tarot is straightforward but takes a lot of practice. to this day I still have to reference my card meanings and it's been 4 years since I started using tarot.

with bibliomancy, I simply sit with whatever book I want and I'll close my eyes and shuffle though the pages gently until my hand stops (usually from me getting distracted) or I stop it myself. the first paragraph I lay eyes on is the one I read.

finally, for shufflemancy I prefer to close my eyes and randomly generate a number on Google. I use that number as the amount of times I hit shuffle, and the song that appears is the answer. i encourage you to make your own rituals for divination, but these are simple starting points

meditation is an option mainly because it isn't about visualization. meditation is about being present and tuning out the external in favor or the internal. it takes many months/years, but you can slowly train yourself to calm your inner voice enough to allow it to speak for itself. I use meditation to simply feel the Theoi, feel my room, and feel the universe. to be present in the moment I am in, as it's the only moment that truly exists then

this is all I can think of for now, but please feel free to add on if anyone reading has some more <3

for you movedd, all you need to do in order to worship is dedicate time, mental or physical. communication is nice, but I find the Gods reward us, without communication, in ways we would never have asked for if we could speak

[marcholasmoth]

OSRR: 3513

went to the doctor. she gave me antibiotics and told me to start taking the inhaler again.

rad.

got some advice and creative support on the quilt for my friend, which was really nice! my mom's been incredibly unhelpful saying how she would do it instead of accepting that this was going to happen how i wanted it to happen.

i had gotten so discouraged last night about the fabrics mom was pulling out and i hated how it looked and she was pushing me to use different fabrics and use a different design because she wasn't being helpful with what i wanted. but the people at the quilt store were so supportive in helping me realize the vision i had - WITH the original pattern i created, so i'm more than happy about that.

i'm super excited to sew it all together tomorrow. then i'll need a backing and a binding and batting and figure out how to fasten it together. and part of me wants to put lace in the edge because my favorite blankie as a little kid had lace in it. i liked it so much because it was soft and yellow and had lace. i still like it so much because of the same reasons. so i'll work with the colors and see if i can find a cotton lace for it. if i can, that is. if not, that's okay. i'll make something else with lace.

maybe a different quilt for a different friend's baby!

i am ambitious. for the other baby i'll probably do more traditional baby-esque fabrics. they'll be appreciative of it, i'm sure. i'll have to wash it before i give it to them, though, unless i just bring it straight to them from a quilter. that friend is allergic to cats, very much so, so having several cats around the fabric isn't exactly the best idea. i'll probably wash and dry the fabrics before i make it, if im totally honest. make sure when it does get washed it doesn't lose its shape.

count me in for making dozens of blankets for these two little babies i know who have the same first name.

i'm so happy.

i love making things. i'll make a crocheted one next, i think! since flannel is for the fall/winter.

anyway. i took a nap today after angrily washing pots for dinner. i didn't feel good and i was upset that the dishes hadn't been done - again - and so impeded my ability to make dinner.

which, for dinner, i made steak. and i fuckin KILLED it. not the cow, the cooking. first time to cook steak, did a great job. flavorful, properly cooked, cut like butter. moist inside despite being well-done. (while i am aware this is a culinary abomination, neither my sister or i can eat meat that is raw in any way. it makes us violently ill so we just. don't do that.)

but the nap and the steak occurred before the quilt cutting and pinning. the quilt is all ready to go for tomorrow. i'm hype.

also i am not going in to work tomorrow. the doctor told me to take it easy tomorrow while the antibiotic works into my system.

and because i'll be home it means i can actually get to joel's for game on time tomorrow night! that'll be nice.

and in the meantime, i have heartburn so i am gonna take some tums and try to sleep.

[b1gwings]

15 Questions for 15* people

haiii i got tagged by @babacontainsmultitudes & @oakay :3 thx for tagging me this is fun !1!!

1. are you named after anyone? I named myself after Clay from the Wings of Fire book series :) I started going by Clay a little over three years ago, I think? When I was thinking about changing my name, I knew I wanted it to be after a character that was really important to me, and Clay checked all the boxes. I think he was the first character I ever looked at for real and went "wow he is so me" LMAO. he's also where my username comes from, too...

2. when was the last time you cried? i want to say it was listening to dndads or taz but i think the real answer is in the middle of finals week after an INCREDIBLY cathartic phone call with my mom

3. do you have kids? no and I don't think I ever want to LMAO

4. what sports do you/have you played? i don't play any sports right now. i played soccer when i was, like, five years old but i HATED it

5. do you use sarcasm? yes but in an autistic way. where allistic people think im being serious and other autistic people know im joking and then they respond to build on the bit and then i can't tell if they're still doing the bit or not. you know

6. what’s the first thing you notice about people? IDK AUGHHGH. i think how someone's hair looks?? if they're wearing any cool jewelry??? im so bad at being aware when im meeting people LMAO

7. what’s your eye color? green-ish grey :]

8. scary movies or happy endings? i don't think these things are opposites but I think happy endings for sure. those little dudes have already gone through so much :( let them ride off into the sunset and live the rest of their lives in peace :(

9. any talents? idk lol ? i consider "talents" to be stuff that you're naturally good at, versus "skills" being things you actually put time into improving or whatever. i'm naturally good at sliding my joints around (sarcasm) and i can do funny voices sometimes (real)

10. where were you born? the swamp (florida, usa)

11. what are your hobbies? drawing, writing, and d&d i think are the main ones right now :] i've been drawing a lot more recently and not feeling super exhausted about it, which has been lovely!!

12. do you have any pets? YES!!! A WONDERFUL LITTLE DOG... her name is Buffy & she's a rescue so we don' tknow what kind of dog she is but she LOOKS like she could be some kind of rat terrier mix ? i love her with my whole entire heart. she's my best friend. lmk if u want me to send u pics of her :3

13. how tall are you? i don't even know. 5'6" i think? im taller than my mom who is 5'4" and shorter than my friend who is 5'8" so we'll go with that

14. favorite subject in school? in high school, art class was my favorite. I adored my teacher; he was the best ever. but i was MISERABLE when i took an art class in my first semester of college. im a creative writing major now, so probably that idk. history & social studies n that kind of stuff has always been super interesting to me, too

15. what is your dream job? i would LOVE to eventually be in some kind of writers' room one day. playing & running D&D games has opened my eyes to just how much I adore storytelling with collaborative aspects. being able to just...make something with other writers...building off of each others' ideas...getting excited about it together... it feels so magical to me.

*anyway i think i have to tag 15 ppl now but idk if i know 15 ppl so im just going to tag as many as i can think of (literally no pressure if u don't wanna do this lol)

@itsbrucey @maxwellamus @flowercrowns-n-punks @kronoose @meteortrails @thedndgoblinwholivesinyourwalls @simonsnow-irl @lemonofthevalley @iersei @raemeh @phillycheesesteakcore @officialgleamstar

[mekatrio]

gonna play a little itty bitty tiny bit before i wont be able to play for the next um 3-5 days, but before i do my thoughts on the cast so far (am 12 hours in and about to leave heliord to go to dahngrest)

yuri: okkkk so hes kinda tsundere... OKKKK 🤭... well not rly but a little bit. so his character conflict is his pride.. and his aimlessness... he kinda reminds me of zidane tbh! if zidane was less of a goof.. yuri's lack of sincerity is very inchresting.. well not sincerety but more like.. hes not very emotional, like at all. hes a Cool Guy all the way. his conflict w flynn is very interesting too.. i had more thoughts abt him but im currently hungry so i cant recall them.. woops!

estelle: yuri and rita made me feel dumb as hell for not knowing that she was a princess who doesnt need blastia like heyyyy.. i didnt know that.. anyways i love her and i love that shes a book nerd thats very cute 😁 tho ill admit her character is kinda very stereotypical shut-in princess yknow hmm... so ill be seeing what else comes from her character. and im interested in what reason she'll have to continue staying with us.. and she Better stay with us cuz gawddd i need a healer at all times! cuz i SUCK at this combat 😭

repede: i know ur a dog but i hope you'll stop making dog food.... i #Believe that you can make a salisbury steak. i believe in you

karol: MY FRIEND his introduction was kinda random but hes been nothinggg but the most helpful member so far.. except in battle where im still trying to figure out a good strategy for him (he keeps randomly doing nothing agh). but yeah hes my gps buddy... so knowledgable about the world 😁 hes so cute and sweet and his unemployment story is so sadddd.. and #Relatable... i hope he finds employment again soon!

rita: her and estelle are so CUTEEEE together 🥺 i wish they were closer in age just cuz itd be more fitting but ehh 15 and 18 is alright ig. i love how mages are researchers in this world and they can do some computer thingy on blastias... also sidetracking for a sec but im loving how this game is introducing all the blastia shits and the locations of the world, wayyyy better paced than how abyss just threw me in.. grateful for that! back to rita.. i like her too! i like all my party members tbh. shes opening up to estelle more now too which is AWWWWW so very sweet 😭 oh i remembered a thought i had abt yuri. how basically yuri and estelle AND rita will all just throw themselves into danger for the sake of something.. yuri and estelle to protect others, and rita to protect others too but also for the blastia. theyre all crazily selfless 🧐 which made them scolding each other at the inn so ijbol and interesting cuz theyre all so hypocritical lol... telling one another to look after themselves when they arent doing the same 😭 also i like that rita has this very caring and holistic approach to her passion with blastia, abt how it intertwines with people bla bla bla.. very cool!

flynn: INSUFFERABLE GOODY TWO SHOES ohhhh my god this is somebody who irritates me not only fictionally, but also irl if this was an actual persons personality... i really cant stand a person who sticks by the rules 😭 but its very intriguing to me that hes aware that nothing has changed since hes became a captain, and that hes like.. kinda? hoping that yuri, who is not bounded by all this knightly shit, will do something more.. at least thats the vibe im getting. very interested in where thatll go.. also maybe this is an insane reach but he kinda really looks like ioder.. what if that means something 🧐 tho ofc this could also just be how tales of artstyle is w their huge ol googly eyes, and anyone w the same hair and eye color will look alike.. but who knows 🤔

[sadkittyrai]

things i love about you:

your hair. it looks so soft. you seem to take good care of it. i wish i could run my hand through it.. your hair color is nice too, when i write poems about you i always refer your hair as "canary" like yk the admired canary bird, but tbh your hair is more like caramel..

your hairstyle. i love how its styled... i want to have it so bad!! its super duper cool ahhh oh to be a pretty emo boy like you...

your music taste. i fucking love it youre so cool oh my god!! im a copycat sorry i only branched out from emo genre after i met u (so youd notice me..)

your face. especially your nose and lips, theyre so beautiful!! id love to make you my muse (it would be an honor)

your room. its literally the coolest thing ever ahh!!! especially your shelf thingy... you have everything i want nn i would love to have sleepovers with u 🥺

your voice?!?!@? oh my god i love it so bad. its so soothing to the ears, very pleasant, i would listen to you for hours until i fall asleep.. its really so nice !! sounds like an angel's whisper to me.. i know you wish you had a more masculine voice, but i love it either way..

your kindness. you're the nicest person ive ever met. i felt like i didn't deserve it.. i really cant put into words how nice you are to me :(( (but now ur like satans spawn child who bullies me everyday/j)

your personality. i like how refreshing it is. you're easy to talk to and i like how you match my energy. its very endearing

the way you type. its so cute, especially during the start of our friendship. i love how you used emoticons, its so cute !! the way you capitalize and do a keybord smash when you find something cute or get excited is so adorable (not when ur mad at me tho :c)

when you spammed my dms. i love it sm.. i like it when you spam me while im sleeping. i like it in general when you say my name a lot. i like to know that youre missing me. i dont find it annoying at all <3 i encourage you to do it

when you get jealous. mhm im aware that the feeling of jealousy sucks and might make you sad, and i dont want you to feel sad so :< but i liked it. because it expressed that you wanted me, too. i found it cute, mfnv sorry ... i hope you can tell me though instead of hiding it in :c

when you say i love you before departing, and when u scold me for not saying ily back

when you get flustered when i call you my love or say i love you in portuguese (might be cringe butmm sorryy... )

when you subtweet about me. im just too shy to like them but i read them over again and again, and i secretly bookmark some... fhfkfkld

when you talk. i just, love it a lot. especially when youre talking passionately about your interests. just for this, im going to get into some of them so we can yap together ‹3

your fashion sense. pleaseee lend in some band tees for me wont u !!?!1 everything about u is literally so cool

when we call. i love listening to you talk, so much. especially more when its live,,, ahjfjdjdj sucker for ur voice

when you send cute cutie animals

when you send long voicemails. dont tell me that i dont have to listen to them because i will!!!

when you're being you. i dontmft know how to explain!! youre just like. the cutest boy i met

when you 𝒻𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓀𝓎

when you say i love you

when you sweet talk me.. hfh heh

[6lost6but6trying]

December 25. 2023

Dear Tiara,

Its been a while since iv done these but im going to try to write like my sappy old self used to….

I know i told you that i missed you

I miss you in the most innocent way possible

Yes we may be perverts and had a big of a “intense” physical attraction….remember “ SELF CONTROL” x3

But besides that…

I miss you when i dont see you

I miss you when i dont hear you

I miss your gentle touch when you held me, played with my hand and my hair…

It made me feel safe

The way i said my mind goes blank when im not stressing and feel safe, is how i have felt when iv been with you

All eyes on you

Youve gotten my full focus

Even when i talk to you on apex, my mind is with you and my heart is happy

This is probably why shes saying my heart isnt with her 100%

Im sorry this year was a total mess with this

I wish i could change it but at the same time i dont because it wouldnt have helped us realize stuff we know now

No matter if we have kissed and stuff like that…

I know youre flip flopping on if you should give me another chance as a friend….

Just know working on that friendship again im all in for

After you telling me about attachment styles…

It made me visualize how you and i can work on our own attachments even if we are not together…

And still be in contact..

Please again dont think i never cared about our friendship….

I really did i was just in a mess and didnt know what to do

I used to be so much better at relationships back then

Then i fell in a deep black hell hole and didnt know what to do anymore

Marco knows im not the happiest without you…

But he just goes with the flow of how i go…

He and Natalie are on your side now

They thought i was in the best relationship and now they changed their minds…

Im starting to as well…

I feel like i stay because of the good days…theres been more good days than bad but when bad comes around…its BAD bad…

We never attack the problem,

We attacked eachother…

I may have made a mistake but not really because its helping me realize things…

I just know i miss you

I miss your hugs

I miss your high fives

I miss you calling me “little shit”

And mind you when you say that… my little inner self gets all giggly and happy each time, i have no idea why but he does🙈

I miss when you challenge me to figure things out with puzzles

I miss you always talking shit about how you beat me on mortal kombat

I miss you beating me on beatsaber and calling me trash even tho you dont mean it in a bad way

The way you say it, your movement and such, nobody else says it like you and it just makes me smile and i dont even get mad…

I miss you making us dinner

I miss eating and talking with you

I miss our therapy session at home and apex even tho we didnt have to have them but we do and it helps me get to know you and the way u think better…

I miss your laughter

I miss your face

I miss our interactions in general

Im so sorry we got us into this mess

But i sure miss you alot….

A part of me still wishes we couldve worked out

A part of me when marco said to do it with you and i said no…i actually wouldnt have minded helping you experience it but a part of me wants to be more than just a toy for you to try stuff on…

But a major part of me still wants to work it out with you as a friend way more than anything and if things form and we grow wiser and more aware of things we want and being with eachother is still a want… then my heart will be yours… i believe deep down i never given Someone my heart yet…more like i did at some point but she showed a true color and i took it back…. My puppy self is still looking back at you from outside that glass window you have provided

I just realized

When things were happening with us 3, she had a door open so easily for me while you just had a window open and a door locked…

A part of me just wants to put a ladder on that window, climb up and go in and feel the safety feeling and knock the ladder down so theres no going back. The wide open door she gave me seemed too easy and not secured….

Im sorry for everything & i offer you my friendship and whatever else….

I do care about you alot…

Again im so sorry 😞

Will you forgive me?

Hug for yes

No hug for no

The choice is yours my tiara 💕 👑

~Love: Your old work husband 💍

[rainbowgaez]

a couple years ago i started having some of the worst identity issues id had in years, and for a while really didn't know what to do about it. its hard to explain but i basically trapped myself behind multiple walls of ironic detachment from everything because i thought it would make me invincible—if i never showed attachment to anything outside of a strict list of things arbitrarily deemed "palatable" by my brain, no one could give me shit for it. and if i tried to engage with anything outside of that list, i would get paranoid about how that made me look. a lot of this has to do with communities i was part of quite a few years ago.

one day i thought about some of the things i immediately wrote off because of that. the one that stuck out was mlp—when bronies became pervasive online, i immediately hated everything abt mlp because i couldn't stand the fans and never wanted anyone to see me like one of Them. so i outright rejected everything about it. even still, my girlfriend at the time (back in 2011 or 2012) was into it, and she wanted me to watch it with her. so she sat me down and we watched an episode together, and i (of course) hated it because i went into it with hella confirmation bias. i had a few gripes with it but the one that always stuck out was how much i didn't like pinkie because i thought she was annoying. i only made it through the series premiere eps.

well, after i examined that in hindsight, i thought "okay, fine, maybe i should go back and watch it now that im aware of that and see what i think" as some sort of last ditch effort to figure myself out. it seemed like the most unlikely Me thing to do, so i thought it would be a good jumping off point for figuring myself out. so i downloaded the whole series, thinking it would just become background noise while i practiced guitar scales and shit. i thought id get a few seasons in, say its cute, and then move on and continue suffering through the aftermath of chronic irony poisoning.

except i watched the whole thing from start to finish in like a month. that's over two-hundred episodes (i think?). and i fuckign loved it. it's not like i thought it was groundbreaking high art or anything, but it just resonated with me. i was in the right place at the right time for that to be the right thing for me. and i quickly realized that pinkie was my favorite and that's because she's always in silly mode, and i wanted to always be in silly mode. its probably not this deep, but ive grown to believe i specifically didn't like her because i resented that quality because that's secretly what i wanted, and as time passes i believe it more.

and from there it just kind of snowballed. quite a few people who've known me for a long time have told me i seemed much happier after i got into mlp, and they're right! afterwards, i started making a lot of positive changes in my life. and this is all really fucking silly, isn't it? all this self-discovery shit because of colorful cartoon horses—something that i unnecessarily loathed for such a long time—at the tender age of twenty eight years old.

there's a lot more i could get into about this, but ive already gone on way too long about this and i doubt anyone gives a shit enough to read All This Hogwash By Me, but i wanted to put this out there for no other reason than because i can, and i guess for anyone who needs to hear that self-discovery can come from anywhere, and you should be willing to accept it from even the most ridiculous places

You seem to really like pinking pie

pinkie pie was a huge part of how i learned to love and accept myself and i am dead serious about that

[androidic]

Stellagendix | Musagendix | Floragendix

Winxgendix

Laylagendix/Aishagendix | Bloomgendix | Tecnagendix

We’ve been hyperfixating on Winx Club and decided to coin some genders related to it! Definition for winxgendix is just “a gender related to Winx Club”, and the character genders are just “a gender related to [character]”

We used the suffix “gendix” rather than “gender” here to differentiate from other possible genders with the same names, and to reference the names of the transformations. If there’s any interest in us coining genders for the Trix, the Specialists, etc, we can!

Credit for the individual wing transparents goes to AstralBlu on Deviantart, symbol on the winxgendix flag is by us.

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

Sneaky Poets

Happy Birthday @jaskierswolf !!!!!

i had a few words the other night so I tried to write you some birthday gerlion fluff! (no CWs as far as im aware, just cute)

_______________

Geralt never told Dandelion how easy he was to spot. Partly because it made finding the fool in a crowd that much easier when Geralt needed to get to him, and partly because of moments like these. 

They’d been at a small market on the outskirts of a town Geralt had already forgotten the name of and Dandelion had scampered off to look at something or other- Geralt really couldn’t remember what, only that it didn’t apply to his potions. He simply went about his business, gathering the ingredients he couldn’t find on the path and treating himself to a new whetstone as he wandered the kiosks. As he was nearing a line of hedges on his way back to the inn they’d booked a room at, Geralt noticed the bright blue of Dandelion’s boots visible just under the line of tight packed foliage. The bushes were certainly tall enough to conceal his poet, but the fool forgot he was practically a beacon in the drab colors of the countryside. 

Before Geralt could tease him, a young child pattered up behind Dandelion, their feet so much smaller than his almost slipping in the mud as Geralt kept an eye on them under the branches. 

“Master Bard Sir! What are you doing?!”

Dandelion yelped in surprise and shushed the small child, filling Geralt with an unbearable fondness, “I’m sneaking. My friend, the Witcher is due around this corner any minute. I plan to spook him.” 

The small child gasped and Geralt heard a little slap, imagining the little one covering their mouth with their hand, “But that’s dangerous!”

“Dangerous? Why so?” Dandelion seemed genuinely lost for a moment and Geralt was ever so grateful for how genuine and gentle his poet was. 

“Witchers are- are- they’re killing machines!” the child whispered, their heels digging into the mud like they were trying to tug Dandelion somewhere. 

“Far from it,” Dandelion whispered, stifling a laugh, “Watch this.” 

From underneath the hedges Geralt could see the child digging one toe into the mud, their worry having to go somewhere. As he observed them and wondered how young this child must have been when he was used as their cautionary tale, Geralt completely forgot his feet were still carrying him past the bushes. 

When he came level with the hedge, Dandelion jumped out and shouted some sort of nonsense, and for a moment Geralt did genuinely jump - albeit subtly. But as he tensed, he thought of the child and how worried those little feet had seemed, and he decided he could try his hand at Dandelion’s trade. He dropped the burlap sack full of ingredients and his new whetstone and stumbled backward, tumbling into a pile of hay on the other side of the road as he let out a yelp. 

Dandelion was cackling in glee and the child even let out a nervous giggle as Geralt propped himself up, widening his eyes and slapping his hand to his chest, “Dear poet you’ve startled me!”

“You? The famed White Wolf? Startled in the market? I thought you were more astute,” Dandelion teased, resting his hands on his hips and tilting his head, still smiling but narrowing his eyes at Geralt. He’d been caught, but they had an audience to appease. 

“You’re too sneaky, Master Bard!” the child squealed, clapping their hands together with a bright smile. 

“Sneaky indeed,” Geralt agreed, letting himself flop back onto the hay in a rather good imitation of Dandelion if he were the judge. 

Dandelion grasped his hand and hauled him to standing, keeping him close so he could whisper in the witcher’s ear for just a moment, “Only women and poets clutch their pearls, darling,” before dusting him off and turning to the child, “See! Harmless!” 

The child didn’t quite seem satisfied, but gave Geralt a shy smile and wave before scampering back into their home. 

When they were out of sight, Dandelion turned on Geralt, lightly smacking his arm with the back of his hand, “How did you make me! I was so quiet!”

Geralt just grinned at him, slinging his bag of purchases over his shoulder and hooking one arm around Dandelion’s shoulders, “Nothing about you is quiet. It’s part of your colorful charm.”

[stagemanagerssaygo]

Heaven and Hell: or my experience being a person of color in Disney’s Hyperion Theater

by Cooper Howell

Heaven and Hell: or my experience being a person of color in Disney's Hyperion Theater. #holdingtheateraccountable Im just gonna go ahead and be straight up. This is pretty scary to share. HEAVEN: Once upon a time Liesl Tommy cast me as Prince Hans in Frozen: Live at the Hyperion. And I was gooped. GOOPED. There was nothing in my prior history that gave any indication this was possible. Up until then every role I played had to do with my race. Every. Single. One. And even ones where it didn’t (Shakespeare or classical pieces mostly) I was always made aware that the novelty of me being a poc in that role that gave me the part. So much did I not expect to get this part that when I got the callback I rolled my eyes and didn’t take the actual callback seriously. I mean, there was a zero percent chance that Disney would ever let me play a Prince, especially when the dude in the movie is a ginger. But then I got it. And immediately everything I thought was possible about my career changed. My whole life I’ve never inwardly felt black. I’ve never inwardly felt white. I’ve always felt like I was Cooper, you know, on the inside. But whether it was every single white human in Utah reminding me that I was “the whitest person they ever knew/saw” (which DIDNT mean how white my skin was. It was how white I ACTED) or Mr. Johnson, my 7th grade drama teacher, telling me that he “wanted to put Velcro on the ceiling to see if I’d stick” or Mr. Smith, my high school drama teacher, saying “finally we can do black shows” as soon as I entered high school and then not casting me in roles because of the "optics" of it, or even my best friend in high school Tanner Harmon who called me "blackie", I was always reminded that I was an other. So imagine getting paid good money to put on that $10,000 costume and waltzing out to 4000 people a day to play a really amazing part. A fantastic, evil, complicated, person who sings a killer duet and then grabs the show by the throat with a vicious about-face monologue... and not once was my race ever mentioned cuz it didnt matter. What was being prized was Cooper, my talent, not my skin color that I never asked for. Heaven. Liesl MADE SURE, almost overly sure, that the poc’s in the cast felt equal. The kingdom of Arendelle, after all, is a make believe place. It can be whatever. From having Disney executives come and tell us that they were happy to have us there, to side conversations with John Lasseter, we were made to feel overly welcome playing the parts we were playing. She encouraged us to dive deeper into the script of a cartoon that I didnt really think much of until I was in it. We were encouraged to ask why. We felt seen as talent and not commodities. There were, of course, detractors. Gosh, I remember people at a party of cast members from "Mickey and the Magical Map" another show at Disneyland which features a princess and the frog number and many of those casts mates angrily claiming that “if that black girl Tiana Okoye can play Elsa than I should be able to play Princess Tiana” and then looking at me to confirm that was okay to say, not realizing that a) she’s one of my best friends, b) that I’m in the show with her also playing a role that wasn't created to be a poc, c) how racist that sounded, and d) why there's a difference there and why that wouldn't make sense. On Liesls final night I came up to her and said ���I don’t know why you did it but thank you so much for casting ME in this part” to which she replied “you mean why would I cast a handsome, talented person in this role?” And I stuttered something like “well, I mean, I’m black. You know...” to which she tilted her head to her side and said “no. I don’t know why. Tell me why that matters.” And I had no answer. Seeing that I had no answer she smiled. That was the answer. There was no reason. On the spot my outlook about myself changed. Windows into what I thought was possible for me opened. -------------------------------------- HELL: And then Liesl went back to NYC and she was replaced by a man named Roger Castellano as show director. Rogers task, he told us on the first day, was to "change the show". We were not told what needed to be changed or even why, but that changes were on the horizon. You've got to understand: to a full cast of actors who had just spent more than three months dissecting a 60 page Disney script with a Tony nominated director like it was Shakespeare, we were initially emotionally/mentally/spiritually resistant to changes. But then it became clear that the spirit of collaboration was over, and the show changes were to be given without the same care, consideration, and thematic explanation of why they were being made. Everyones initial reaction was to push back, but when people who questioned their notes or their changes started getting days removed their schedule or being replaced entirely by a new actor, the Hyperion theater became a place where no one was allowed to speak out. Injustices were happening left and right and no one felt they could do anything for fear of losing their livelihood. And that's when the Frozen: Live at the Hyperion became a living hell. In my first note session with Roger he pulled me into a room with Domonique Paton, my best friend and incredible costar who played princess Anna in the show I was in. She just so happens to also be black. Almost all of Prince Hans’s scenes in the show are with her character and so most of my notes would be primarily based on those interactions with her. Earlier in the day I performed with a different (white) actress but it was the show with Domonique that I had a note session about. Imagine my surprise and dismay when, with how Liesl set up the show experience, we were told this: “WHEN THE TWO OF YOU PERFORM THE SHOW TOGETHER ITS TOO… URBAN.” Urban. What else could that have meant, do you think? He could have said maybe “too contemporary” emphasizing that we were maybe too modern in our speech patterns or movements. We weren’t. He could have said “too lax” or “too loose” meaning that maybe we were being unprofessional and goofy up there because we’re really good friends. We were not. The best me and Ms. Paton could think of was a 8 count moment of improv dance that me and Domonique decided to use as a synchronized moment of unity. It happened to fall on the line “our mental synchronization can have but one explanation” and thought, with the freedom that Christopher (the original choreographer) had given us, was appropriate, especially considering everyone behind us was doing the robot. As in the 80s robot. But he didnt clarify. He just said “WHEN THE TWO OF YOU PERFORM THE SHOW TOGETHER IT’S TOO… URBAN” And when asked what he meant he smiled with a little shrug and said "you can figure that out. You're smart." And thats how I became Black Hans and Domonique became Black Anna. My every moment onstage afterwards became about the optics of being a poc in that show. It was if I was suddenly made aware that I was LUCKY enough to be there and under any normal circumstances, or this new directors circumstances, me getting this part would have never happened. But the message was clear. It was especially clear when me and Domonique Paton shows together durastically decreased and made even more clear when the vast majority of the new hires were not people of color. But no one said anything. And made even MORE clear when, over the next few weeks, both Domonique and I got COPIOUS notes, ten times that of our coworkers that played the same parts. It was almost a game. In fact we did turn it into a game, seeing who would get the least amount of notes from him in a day. Our costars would even joke about it onstage with us, during the ballroom scene, and jokingly whisper "The shows been up 15 minutes. How many do you think you got today?" But no one said anything. And the notes were about all kinds of things. How we held our hand. If our inflections went up or down on a word. Which side of a couch we leaned on… which was fine! When you're an actor, thats the gig... until we started comparing our notes with the actors that played our same parts and none of them, NONE, would get the same notes. Our notes would be outrageously longer, the note sessions sometimes lasting 10/15 minutes. Others would get the “Oh hey, try doing this or that next time, okay bye” walk-by notes. Sometimes I would sneak into the audience and watch as some of the other Han's, some of whom changed lines, changed entire intentions of scenes, some of whom adding in all types of vocalizations and cackles and dance moves and what have you, and would receive ZERO notes. But I was watching them to see what was wrong with me. What was my performance missing? What am I actually doing to feel this singled out. And then I realized that the thing that was wrong with me was that I was a different color than the 5 other white Hans's they cast. And then I started getting notes about my penis. Most of the time these “penis sessions”, as I called them, were given in private rooms without another stage manager present. It was incredibly unpleasant and unprofessional. In fairness, those Prince Hans pants are TIGHT! And yes, Mr. Howell is indeed a party in the front and a party in the back, but so were a lot of those fellas. And thats where I put my foot down. If Disney was going to provide me with a costume it is not my responsibility to fix their problem, especially when other of my (white) costars had been given a dance belt for the same thing. But they never got penis notes. Private session notes about what their penis looked like in that show. Over and over again I was told to fix it, to not make it (my dick) so apparent, and that “if my daughter were younger I wouldn’t want her to come to a show you were performing at" all the more insulting considering his daughter, a cast member in the show, was a friend of mine and the loveliest person. He started demanding that I buy a dance belt. It was “my fault”, “my responsibility” …and thats where I took my stand. And then it really became hell. Penis sessions were now done out in the open. Once, he screamed at me, in the green room in front of all of my costars during lunch, about how incredible unprofessional I was, about how he was tired of seeing my dick, and that if I didnt go buy myself one I didnt deserve to be there anymore. Followed by a huge litany of notes. That doesnt compare to some of what Domonique went through and I invite her to share them if she’s willing. During this time I went to every stage manager in the building and told them about being singling out and about my penis. They all told me to write a complaint report and it would go to some place called "HR". Which I did. Numerously. More months passed. Nothing from "HR". Multiple cast members who witnessed my note sessions encouraged me to go to the HR themselves. I didnt honestly know what an HR was. As soon as it was explained to me by my allies even what an HR was I went to the head of HR at Disneyland herself and waited outside of her door. I asked her if she got any of my HR reports and she told me that she had received no HR reports from the Hyperion. Ever. And then asked me to fill out a HR form. As we went over it, she asked me some questions, and then set up a second meeting. On the second meeting she said that in order for my report to be given credence I would need witnesses to give their testimony. The witnesses, in fact the very people that told me to go to HR in the first place, said no. They didnt want to lose their jobs. In retrospect that might be the thing that hurt the most but, whatever... anyway, I was told "“well… without testimonies we’ll do an investigation and we’ll call you when we’ve completed it.” I never received a phone call. With absolutely zero protection from the stage managers from both the sexual harassment or my obvious racial targeting I (and others) were experiencing, not to mention that HR reports were doing nothing, aka not being forwarded, I thought about quitting. And when a white stage manager made a show mistake and laughed it off to the cast by saying an entirely offensive lynching joke, I quit. I didnt matter to Disney. How I felt and what I was being put through didnt matter. I was a commodity. My departure was unceremonious. Bizarre. 100% un-magical. I hung up my costume one last time and it was given to a new Hans, one who looked very much like me oddly, and stepped out of the theater. The park was playing “every wish your heart desires will come to you” and I remember laughing at how dead that song felt. The director has since moved on but still works as a musical theater director in Southern California. This one time 4 years ago I got to feel something other than my color for the first and only time in my professional career. It lasted from about March 2016 to July 2016 and never again since. I will never forget in those early days looking at all the beautiful princesses I got to woo and thinking “wow. I’m a prince right now.” Im sure that sounds stupid. But it didn't feel stupid. And a Disney prince! Yeah, a shitty prince kinda... I mean, he's a sociopath... BUT still a Prince! Especially special was being able to look in Dominique’s eyes and I could see the same glimmer of “can you believe we get to do this right now” reflected back. We never knew it was in the cards for us. My race always has and will always be part of my career equation and a determining factor of its projection. It will always be a determining factor in how im treated, by creatives, by people, by the those in authority over me, including the government and the police. #wasitmyskin

Copied in its entirety here from Cooper Howell’s public Facebook post: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10163696376095054&set=a.10151302685610054&type=3&theater

[robozombii]

lets say. metaphorically. i am gripping your shoulders with upmost strength (if thats cool lmao) sorry in advanced because im gonna get really annoying rq BUT ive started talking about duet and i WILL. NOT. STOP. also i dooo plan on sharing the slides to some but its been a wip for like a whole year😅so i doubt ill finish it soon. anyhow [inhale]

WARNING FOR mentions of the backrooms, death, but its not the main focus

about duet being an inciting incident, i could only GUESS as to what the gangs situation was like prior to duets encounter. but arthur in the comic dismisses lewis as soon as he mentions him. and THIS??

ITS JUST A LINE. BUT IT SHOWS that the gang avoided anything to do with lewis. and thus, without duet slapping arthur in the face with cryptic literature, they wouldve probably been stuck in a depressing state of avoidism. which DOESNT MOVE A PLOT. BUT DUET DID!!! DUET THE FUCKING MADMAN

duet literally couldve had SO MUCH CONTROL over the gang. in the beginning at least- from encountering arthur at his most vulnerable state (which would be easier to influence), to giving the magic book, to telling arthur to get some gas for the van. that seems like a minor detail but imagine if they didnt and went to a gas station instead of the mansion. duet couldve literally had their ENTIRE ROAD TRIP planned out.

and another note- this???

theres a lot of things to note about the comic panel by itself -how a book connected to duet has vines? connection to shiromori or rose thorns that point to lewis- AND THE COLOR IN ARTHURS EYES which does sort of resemble the possession and control reverb had over him. could this be a way of duet controlling arthurs will? but theyre both purple which caught my attention because COLOR IS IMPORTANT!!! it might be a stretch but it really is in msa. and i dont think duet and lewis would team up necessarily- i doubt theyd have the same motives. but duet isnt just 'the weird boss of tome tomb' theyre so much more CAPABLE. they could possibly forsee the future and shit?? IDK??

and going back to chloe- while i feel she has a bit of a motive to mess with the gang -its immature but a motive. go look at her wiki for an idea- duet could have the actual CAPABILITIES to put a plan into motion. a theory i saw stated that chloe was the 'SOLO' in reverbs intro, and thus a contrast to her friend duet, but could it also be that SOLO is an alternate name for duet themself? its just something to speculate, if one or the other could be malicious, or both.

OK RANT PART TWO: NOBODY FUCKING WRITES DUET and neither do i.. yet. but i rarely see them mentioned either!! WHICH SUCKS BECAUSE THE CANON HAS LITERALLY SHOWN THEM TO BE A SIGNIFICANT TOOL IN DRIVING MSAs PLOT. BEING THE INCITING INCIDENT.

this isnt so prominent in my fics, theyre mentioned in both of my published ones though- in full bloom, they say an odd phrase to vivi, just as they did to arthur in canon. it doesnt really do anything BUT i plan to utilize it in a possible sequel

in my BACKROOMS FIC THOUGH? theyre.. not mentioned that much either oops. but it goes to show just how odd an interpretation of duet could get. i stated earlier that duet possibly had control over the gangs future, part magic part manipulation, and thats fine in canon. they probably have good motives by pushing the gang together and FORCING them to make up- but in the backrooms fic, the gang literally ends up in a fucked up world and one of them ends up DEAD. like. if duet was aware of such a thing, and led the gang with full intentions to such a thing..

like- do you see what im saying? there could be tons of aus where just a touch of their influence fucks everyone up and turns them into a darker character than what they are right now. AND I LOVE MAKING FUCKED UP BLORBOS. PLEASE WRITE DUET AND CHLOE MORE OR AT LEAST IMPLEMENT THEM INTO PLOTS THEYRE THERE TO DO SHIT LET EM DO SHIT!!!!

if you wanna im not forcing you😭i hope i get an opportunity to REALLY really write em but a lot of my fic ideas are centered around arthur and vivi woops. anyways- thats just a FRACTION of what youd see on my msa presentation lmaoooo. i dont even have this rant added on there- so i probably should. feel free to add your own thoughts and stuff i love the fanart and fics this fandom has to offer but can we also offer SEVERAL PARAGRAPHS OF RANTING. please

[kedreeva]

OK OK SO LISTEN OK HEAR ME OUT I AM VERY VERY MUCH WELL ON MY EAY TO ACTUALLY WATCHING THIS BIT H OF A SHOW JUST BECAUSE EVERY TIME YOU TELL ME MORE ABOUT IT the broken ass fucking thing in ny brain that controls my serotonin levels goes _Ping_ and i get to experience The Happy but LISTEN here the fucking issue ive got an absolute bitch of an executive dysfunction and main issue: everything i know about thr show and everything that makes my brain go HYPERFIXATION TIME is shit from like,, the last 2 seasons ig mostly and like on a Theoretical fucking level i am well aware that once i start watching ill start enjoying it from the first coupke episodes (whatever deity may or may not be out there ought to just strike me down already at this point my previous self from like 5 years ago would strangle me if that fucker knew ehat our stupid bitch of a brain latched to amd decided to sing praises to in the end) but like The Things that currently have me in the headlock when it comes to the damned show Wont be There yet and even though i logically know it doesnt matter cause ill enjoy the rest too stupid piece of shit brain goes "must watch 2 seasons just to get there? Must watch 2 seasins to get to the Serotonin? Not in this energy crisis" so im Stuck unable to Watch it and Wanting to and reading and looking at SO much fucking fancontent cause goddamn the fucking fandom is talented fuck yall

Also i really appreciate your offer regarding the poll its v sweet of you but unfortunately its got a local target audience since its for a project that will begin at a local stage (and if i get my way slowly grow bigger until it reaches nationwide level but yeah v low hopes for it to get that far) and also since the whole project thing is basically a part of a far larger project thing with lots of smaller teams like us and shit and the reason im part of the whole shebang is that a professor of mine decided to place me on her team without even asking ive gotta make the poll using my Proper™ account which not only means sharing my deadname but also my last name (in short my whole legal name) so yeah big fucking mess thats going to shit anyway but i really appreciate the intention its v sweet (also as you hopefully have figured out i am VERY shit at explaining anything on a manner that makes sense but also im my defence it Is currently 3am where i am so yeah id like to throw a teeny bit of the blame for my inability to communicate on that)

Go to SLEEP.

But before you do I need you to look me in the fucking eyes, and understand this: season 1 is absolutely fantastic. Season 1 is still my favorite season. Not only do you get to meet all the amazing characters as babies, but the plots.... oh, the plots. oh. the storylines in season 1 are all fucking gorgeous, Delightful.

okayokay, listen. listen.

I gotta calm down a second because season 1 is so good, but listen

Season 1 does something that's so incredibly difficult to pull off, and not only did they pull it off, they pulled it off with flying colors. They told three narratives that were all part of one narrative, expertly braiding them together until suddenly they have all come together and everything crescendos and hhhhhh it's bliss. It's fucking bliss.

You have the first plot, and that's a kid's adventure plot. It is the genre of plot where you have a bunch of kids who get into a supernatural shenanigan with a New Friend, completely under the noses of the oblivious adults. This is some ET shit, some Earth to Echo shit. They've got to hide their New Weird Friend from the adults, and they are the ONLY ONES capable of saving her. High Child Adventure Time. They're riding their bikes and yelling over their radios and doing things only children would think to do in an attempt to keep El safe.

Then you have the second plot, with Nancy, Jonathan, and Steve (and arguably tommy and carol). This is a teenage monster horror flick w/ bonus romance. This is "one of the teenagers got killed/taken by a monster and the rest of the teens have to survive/cope with it/hunt the monster down together" genre. Nancy and Steve are busy getting into romance and then crashing and burning it because Nancy knows there's monsters and Steve has no idea, but Jonathan knows there's monsters, and now they're teaming up to fight back right up until Steve crash lands in the middle of the event and picks up the nailbat the first time. Delightful, you have to understand. You have to know. The first time Steve weilds the nailbat, he twirls it. And that twirl is.... fucking everything. That twirl lives rent free in my head for eternity.

You have to understand. This entire scene leading up to this is pure fucking gold. Steve is beat the fuck up after picking a fight with Jonathan (and losing), and he's come over to Jonathan's house to apologize to him, because he realized he's been an asshole. Who DOES that first of all. Second of all, this is AFTER he went and made amends with the theater he and tommy and carol defaced to be mean to nancy, and before he's apologized to nancy herself; he's coming to jonathan's house, alone, at night, to apologize to Jonathan, not because he knows Nancy is there, but because it's the right thing to do.

And then Nancy opens the door and okay, he had guessed they were... a thing, maybe, so that's not totally unexpected, but then he sees her hand. He sees the bandage on her hand, the blood they were using to draw the monster, and he has NO IDEA monsters exist still. He pushes into the house because he thinks Jonathan hurt Nancy, only to find Jonathan is also sporting a bandage, and also there's like. weapons all over the fucking place and christmas lights and Nancy's yelling at him to leave and she pulls a fucking gun on him and tells him he has 5 seconds to gtfo, and as if that wasn't enough, a literal monster claws through the ceiling, drops down and starts trying to eat them all. Nancy's firing a gun at it right up until Jonathan grabs her around the middle and bodily hauls her away from danger, grabs Steve's hand with his other hand, and hauls his partners down the hall to safety.

Down the hall where, you know, he and Nancy put a fucking bear trap on the ground. A bear trap steve does not know about but when Jonathan yells JUMP, do you know. Steve doesn't even stop to ask how high. he just fucking jumps. He's freaking out and the monster seems to disappear and they tell him to leave because it's going to come back and he makes it all the way to his car before realizing... he can't fucking leave them there. so he goes charging right back into danger, and good fucking thing too, because Jonathan's been disarmed and nancy's out of bullets and the demogorgon is still coming after her, and Steve gets there just in time to scoop up Jonathans nailbat (which FYI, was made from Nancy's bat, with Jonathan's nails, and now Steve wields it, as if I NEEDED OT3 feels) and start wailing on the monster until it's beaten back into the trap and they can set it on fire.

LIKE. SEASON 1 JUST HAS THAT???

and then!!! there's also the ADULT plotline, which is of the government conspiracy theory genre, as Joyce refuses to believe her son Will is dead and Hopper doesn't agree until actually he finds out she's RIGHT and the corpse was a FAKE and then HE is in on it and they are desperately trying to figure out what the fuck the LAB was doing with all its secrets.

And Delightful.... I have to say. Watching these three plotlines converge.... I've watched the first season dozens of times by this point. Chef's kiss. They all come together and realize they've all been dealing with facets of the same problem, and they move forward together to save Will and take down the monster and the lab that caused the problem. Oh my GOD.

And that's not even speaking of the characters. You will be adopting every child. Season 1 mike is the best mike. I would kill for season 1 nancy but she's got it covered. Season 1 Steve shows you his capacity for being a bitch, which is WHY the later seasons are so amazing with him being a good guy. You have to be able to remember the moment he took Jonathan's camera from him, jonathan's most prized possession, probably the most expensive and difficult to replace thing Jonathan owns, and smashes it on the pavement. You have to experience him writing (or allowing Tommy to write) "Nancy Wheeler is a SLUT" on the movie theater announcement board on main street. You have to see him shove Jonathan and say "always figured you for a queer" in order to understand how far he's come when he sits on the bathroom floor with Robin and softly says "oh." and still looks at her like she hung the moon. You have to see how much the kids care about each other when they are all in one place or you will never survive the catty nonsense they go through in season 3. SEASON 1 MATTERS SO MUCH.

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There's SO MUCH about season 1!!! I'm supposed to be writing stories right now, so I'm gonna leave it here but please know you will not be slogging through 2 seasons to get to 3 and 4. You'll be watching the best season, a good season, and then arrive at when the plot kind of sucks but the characters have a chokehold on your heart so it doesn't matter.