#Im auditioning for the revival

[littlesongbirb]

Sometimes I randomly remember that the Tuck Everlasting musical exists and get forcefully pulled back into a phase by that BEAUTIFUL orchestra. Why does no one talk about the orchestrations of that show?? It's literally so beautiful??? Like the intro to Live Like This??? I swear it makes me swoon.

And the little "day na na day na na day naa" from the ensemble? That just makes it music that you play at ren faires while you fall in love.

Moral of the story: orchestrations are underrrated and cool and ensembles are amazing

[chisungie]

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[bitterbutblue]

november 1998 (上)

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SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE CHAT it's been a longgg week and ill try to pre-write dec 1998 so it can come out next week because from oct 25 to nov 8 i will pretty much be dead on tumblr aside from reblogs because of coursework but after that i will be revived!!!!!!!

i feel like this is getting slightly messy im sorry i am ill and mildly burnt out writers block butim going o try my best

my inbox is always open for requests!! and i love getting messages from u guys so please do not hesitate to ask and i will respond as soon as i can <3

this chapter is split in 2 parts! november 1998 (下) and december 1998 will be released quite far apart icl ill try my best though...

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Slide, roll, up and down- five, six, seven, eight.

The meticulous eyes of the trainers have her feeling weak in the knees, hawks with their eyes peeled for prey to stalk on. She wants to collapse to the floor, her feet are blistered and her knees are sore. She can feel her entire body slowly fading as she moves but she can't stop because she's so close. The last time she was in this position she gave in, collapsing onto the ground and panting. She wasn't good enough, she never would be. The trainers just sighed and told her she wasn't good enough and that she never would be good enough. The last time she was in this position, she swore she'd work hard. She'd work until her knees bruised and her muscles ached if it meant doing better than before. If it meant for them to finally see her in the light she wishes they could see her in.

She holds the ending pose, a bright smile on her face but everything that held her body together was threatening to break down in that very moment as her chest heaves and she offers them a polite bow. She strides out of the room with a put-together, confident aura that had the other people auditioning staring and whispering, saying that she will most likely pass the auditions, that she was the one they need to look out for. But she's fighting for her life to not collapse until she's outside the building, until she's away from everyone's eyes.

The second she exits with her bag in hand, she drops to the ground. Uncontrolled sobs flowing out as she buries her head in her hands. Everything hurt, her legs ached like never before and her lungs felt like they were collapsing. She could barely hear the sound of her own brother calling out her name as she dug her fingers into her scalp, head buried in her arms.

"Robin, Robin can you hear me?"

It felt horrible, feeling the sky and all its weight on your shoulders is a horrible feeling. She wants to melt into the ground, dissolve into the pebbles and rocks that are scattered beneath her feet. She feels someone grab onto her shoulders, feels someone pull her into their arms and she feels a familiar thump along with the scent of cigarette smoke. Three squeezes on her shoulder, an attempt to keep her grounded. Holding her tight, an attempt to stop her from trembling like a bomb about to explode.

These breakdowns have been happening more frequently, the worst one being the one right after her dad had to disappear and sent her to live with Sunday in a country too far away but also too close to home. A country she tried to dissociate herself from for the longest time, a country where you were in. Back to the city she left you in.

"Sunday?"

He just holds her tightly.

He's been smoking again, she can smell the tobacco on his jacket and breath, the scent that has her nose crinkling in disgust but she can't blame him anymore.

"Are you okay?"

His voice is as soft as always, a twinge of hoarseness coating his words now. He sounds older, as if he had aged a good twenty years in the span of six months.

"No."

She can't bring herself to lie because she's tired of lying, tired of telling people she's okay and that she's alright when she feels like breaking down all the time. Sunday could only swallow back the lump in his throat as he lets out a soft sigh, holding her close.

"It's going to be okay."

It's not. Neither of them would be okay.

Sunday offers to take her to a convenience store after, driving down the streets in his second-hand car that he got for cheap that is probably older than he is. Robin leans her head against the car window, feeling the slight bumps on the road, watching the city fade slowly into greenery and nature as they drive up the hill back to where they live. The familiar yellow and green sign comes into view as the car slows down, and she sighs as she gets out of the car slowly.

"C'mon, let's get something good." Sunday wraps his arm around her shoulder as they walk through the door. The little bell near the door dings and she was so lost in thought she didn't even realise that there were in fact 2 people at the counter and both of them quieted down the second she walked in with Sunday. She didn't notice as she walked down towards the drinks section to get her puffergoat milk. As she walks back to find Sunday near the counter, her eyes widen slightly. Stelle and you were sitting close, a little too close for her liking and she feels this pang of.. what is it? The same feeling she felt when she first saw you on television, on the news, everywhere. Jealousy. But not of you this time, of Stelle. Stelle must've noticed her staring because she quickly pulls her hand that was resting on your knee away and clears her throat. You had a light blush on your cheeks as you quickly stood up.

"Is that all?" You ask with a slightly forced smile on your face. She looks over at Sunday, who smiles at you with a genuine smile and not one of his old forced corporate smiles.

"Yes, that's all. Thanks, Y/n."

She hates how you look at him with a softer look, a gentle smile on your face that you have yet to look at her with. But to be fair she doesn't deserve that smile and she never will, especially not what she did to you. Sunday slides a bill across the counter and you quickly give the change back.

"You doing alright?"

She stands in the corner, fully aware of how herself and Stelle are purposefully trying super hard not to look at each other and it is incredibly awkward.

"I'm good."

She hears you click your tongue.

"I saw on the news about your family, I'm sorry."

You never told her that. She feels an ache in her chest as she looks down at her battered trainers, scuffed from hours and hours of training as she fidgets with the bracelet on her wrist.

"Don't be. Congrats on your win, by the way. War Dance at fifteen is an accomplishment you should be proud of."

"Hah, yeah, thanks."

She hears the cash register close, and her brother clearing his throat.

"I'll see you around, Y/n."

"You too, take care."

She doesn't look up when Sunday walks up to her, and just follows his footsteps out the door. She can hear the quiet whispers between Stelle and you and it bothers her how intimate the two of you are, how close you are.

Why is she so bothered?

Perhaps the truth is you were her first and only good friend. It was hard to make friends in a country like Penacony where she was the outsider, the one who 'got into the school because of her parent's money', the one who's always sitting alone. She never fit in well there, despite her best attempts to appear put together in front of you over text and email, she was breaking down slowly. Now, she's back and in the same position as before. Alone. Yes, she had friends, but how many of them actually cared for her? How many of them actually wanted to talk to her her and wanted to know her and her dreams and aspirations, instead of only talking to her so that they could date her for her looks? She sees the way some of them eye her, the way they whisper about her behind her back. Aventurine was a nice guy, but him and his friend group are so tight already that she is always just sitting in the corner and forcefully laughing along with them.

She misses you.

She misses the feeling of having a friend she could always rely on, who she always knew had her back even though they were oceans apart. Now she's left with those memories ruined, only haunting her each day as she has ruined all the good she had in her life.

Of course she did.

She didn't even realise they had arrived back into their home until she hears the sound of the car door closing. Upon arriving back into her own room, it really settles in how alone she is. Their family all split apart so they wouldn't be found or put each other in danger, only living with her brother in a small run-down apartment building at the edge of the city. A room with nothing of her own, a city she no longer finds comfort in. She crawls into bed, not even caring that it's 4pm in the afternoon because god she's just so exhausted. Physically from the auditions, mentally from everything else.

By the time she wakes up, the sky had darkened with only traces of the stars and moon illuminating her room.

4:32.

A full twelve hours later she sits in her bed, staring out the window and wondering what you were doing.

You throw your glasses down, rubbing your eyes as you let out a tired groan. The words on the textbook were barely coherent at that point and you just wanted to go to bed but the idea of giving up before you finished this final topic fills you with such intense stress it makes you feel like clawing yourself out of your skin. It's a trapped feeling, you want to break down but if you break down that's wasting your time.

You finally put your pen down, hand shaking as you finally let out a sigh you hadn't realised you were holding in. You check your clock.

4:33.

You rub at your eyes again, feeling your heavy eyelids threatening to shut when you feel your pager buzz. Looking down, you mumble 'what the fuck' to yourself as look down.

A series of numbers.

You tilt your head to the side, picking up your cell and dialling the number.

"Hello?"

"Y/n?"

The familiar but groggy voice has you feeling a leap in your chest.

"Stelle?"

"Yeah."

"Why are you calling me on this number?"

"It's a burner."

"What happened?"

You hear the shaky sigh, the tightening of the throat.

"Can I come over?"

"Yeah, of course." You lick your lips, worry filling you up to the brim as you lean forward on your desk, looking out the window. "Meet me outside?"

"Mhm."

Ten minutes later, you outside in the cold in nothing but pajamas and a coat, she shows up. Her eyes are red, cheeks tearstained. She's wearing not nearly enough clothes and she's holding a duffel bag.

She's holding a duffel bag.

Oh god.

"Stelle, oh my goodness, are you okay?" You whisper-shout as you run up to her, cupping her cheeks as she drops the bag. You yelp out quietly as you feel her pull you into a tight hug.

"My mom found out."

"Huh?"

Stelle begins trembling in your arms, and you swallow back the worry as you pull away to look her in the eyes. You see how her eyes are welling up with tears again and your heart leaps up to your throat in worry.

"What happened?"

She takes in a shaky breath, looking down as she squeezes your hand.

"I- I'm not straight. I'm a lesbian."

Oh.

Stelle takes your silence the wrong way, she takes the way you stared at her the wrong way. She begins to back away, a look of hurt evident on her face.

"What? Are you upset about that too?"

"No, no!" You quickly clear your throat, heart racing for no reason in particular. "Stelle, thank you for telling me, really. I- do you need a place to stay?"

She nods, sniffling as she wipes away at a stray tear.

"Please."

Your mom is going to kill you tomorrow morning if she finds out, but before you even think twice you open the back door and let her in. She follows you like a lost puppy up to your room. She looks so exhausted and tired, and you're worried thinking about what happened that lead her to use a burner phone at 4 in the morning. You tell her to sleep in your bed, and you find yourself curling up on the couch- unable to bring yourself to sleep in the same bed as her. The thought haunts you, your parent not accepting you, never loving you- because you know it's partly coming true for you. Your mom has always had just a singular set goal for you and if you don't follow along, it's bound to fall apart. You just bring your knees up to your chest as you hug the couch cushion tightly, closing your eyes as you let out a shaky breath.

"Y/n?"

You flinch violently, squinting as the lights are turned on and you see your mom standing there, bleary-eyed but visibly upset.

"What are you doing?"

It's exhausting. All of it. You can feel yourself breaking down as you pick up the cushion, swallowing back the lump that has formed in your throat but to your surprise your mom isn't actually mad. She sits down next to you, stiff and awkward but worry seeps through her and you can feel it coating you too.

"Why are you on the couch."

You sigh.

"Stelle is in my room. Her mom kicked her out."

You were surprised when your mom didn't say anything, when she didn't get mad or start shouting at you for letting a friend in so late. Instead, she just nods.

"Does she need anything?"

You try not to let your surprise show as you look over at her, and she's not looking at you but you see the concerned look on her face as she looks out the window.

"Just somewhere to stay."

She nods.

"Okay. Sleep in my room tonight."

You are too tired to disagree tonight, just following her to her room and getting into bed. She doesn't follow, switching off the lights and closing the door to her room as you lay in her stiff bed. It's uncomfortable, rock hard and hurts your back but it's the safest you've felt in a long time as you bury yourself into the pillows and close your eyes. It's been a long month, and it's about to get longer with exam season coming up next month. A sound of a phone buzzing has you groaning, blinking groggily as you search through your pocket for the phone you never took out.

"Hello?"

There is only silence on the other end.

"Who is this?"

The phone eventually cuts off and you curse angrily, tossing it to the side before burying yourself into the bed once more.

Please, you just wanted to finally get some sleep.

Robin stares at her phone, swallowing as she stares at the remains of the call that had just happened. Her heartbeat echoes in her ears as she puts her head in her hands, taking in the last of your voice. Your voice when speaking to her with no malice or venom, pain or hurt. It was all she wanted for now.

[mihai-florescu]

I could see you as Anne Boleyn honestly that's pretty fitting. I wish I could've done musicals at my high school but they always did ones I was not at all familiar with and they basically only gave the main roles to the top 2 year groups. The one time I actually auditioned for Rock of Ages I got a character that literally wasn't even mentioned in the script and that pissed me off because I literally chose drama as my one of main subject for exams so I dropped it like a week later. It didn't help my friend got a lead role and never acknowledged me the entire time on the day we got our roles announced. I didn't mean to rant but honestly I'd love to do acting and stuff more if it didn't involve the stress of not getting a role you want.

That sounds shitty, im sorry, and your friend ignoring you is ://// my school back home didnt have extracurriculars and when i moved to the US...well...they also didnt have much. Just sports (and i have stories about that too...) and they were trying really hard to revive the theatre program but.......the school had less than 80 students. In rural midwest. No one was interested in theatre... it was baaad. But the fact that they chose the tumblr popular musical bmc... i cannot stress how funny it was but i dont want to doxx too much about the school. All im gonna say is they had tried deh the year prior but didnt have the proper rights to perform it💀 weird ass unreal time in my life, i refused to believe it was real at the time and looking back i still think i was in a bizarre truman show situation or perhaps a social experiment i failed. The school's name was also incredibly funny in this context but youre just gonna have to imagine it.

Anyway. So i cant say i have actual drama experience either. I cant stress how many things ive done in life just because i thought theyd be funny, but also because funny situations show themselves to me. Or i do things out of spite. I dont even think i can sing, personally. But thats not something you can say after you told everyone you performed for the president of your country earlier that year (which was true, there are still photos of us together. I could write a novel about that day because so much happened. But i also dont know how i got there. At all times i could turn to an imaginary camera, record freeze, and say "you're probably wondering how i got here" because honestly i was wondering too).

What im trying to say is highschool is fun because literally nothing matters so you can do anything, even with a small role or bad card youve been dealt im sure you can always steal the show👍if you ever decide to take drama class again^_^

[goosebasedcryptid]

being in theater fandoms while also doing theater school full time is a torture because you're aware of so many things but you CAN'T say them

like you'll see some poor fan saying "i hope the revive *insert show title* soon" and you're like sweetie yes they will half my friends auditioned for it but we CAN'T TALK ABOUT IT im going to cry

[fretted-fire]

Im hand-sewing a Regency reproduction gown, and practicing for an audition next Saturday! I’m also researching 1840’s gothic revival dresses for my next project

ITT: Tell me about something you're making or doing

I'm gonna write a story about a werewolf 🐺

[selescope]

hi juno! what’s your favorite color and your favorite song currently? also i hope your day gets better, sending love 🫂🫂

okay so i’m feeling better ish now so i’m gonna answer my asks now [:

so my favorite color isss light purple. i LOVE light purple. my room was light purple until i painted it green in august. i also really like green.

i have a lot of favorite songs always but i really like girlfriend by hemlocke springs right now, i’ve also been listening to a lot of grease right now because i just auditioned and did callbacks for grease (cast list comes out on monday!!). so i really like rock n roll party queen from the 2007 revival cast of grease. but yeah! uhm. i also really like falling up but will wood im learning that on the ukulele right now.

[bidean-byedean]

freedom is a length of rope and God wants you to hang yourself with it

you know what, I almost see it

the ouroboros 

it didn’t matter that they stopped Chuck, they could never get off script, it doesn’t work like that. Chuck is a lesser deity of creation, the real cosmic force behind it all is far too powerful to show its hand, to be caught out by the book it wrote. 

So, let’s set the scene:

Dean Winchester a traumatised kid blindly serving as a weapon in his Dad’s crusade at the expense of his own health and happiness and trying to be at peace with that. 

Sam Winchester the main character - so desperately wanting more but haunted by the things he cannot unknow, by the fact he can only have freedom by isolating himself from his family and his past. 

Castiel a piece on the celestial chessboard, created solely as a tactician in a meaningless, never-ending war, devoted to the cause no matter the cost.

For over a decade we watched them grapple with these identities, watched them suffer tragedy after tragedy as they tried to fit themselves into the bigger story. We watched them grow and learn and spill off the pages. It was fascinating and hopeful and heartbreaking.

It was ultimately pointless.

Castiel was the first to go: his sacrifice was calculated, it was a suicide bomb tucked up his sleeve for the crucial moment. Always happy to bleed for the Winchesters. He got to experience love, but it was never reciprocated (out loud) - because no matter what he does, God will not reciprocate. That’s how faith works. He had to be happy knowing that he felt love (for God, humanity, Dean), but it will not validate him back. It’s not in the having, it’s in the saying. He dies for the cause one last time. 

Dean is next. He knows his death to the letter: that he’ll die during a hunt, gun in hand, there’s nothing more for him, nothing better expected of him.  Dean’s arc is epic. He is a torturer in Hell, marked by Cain, a knight of Hell, Michael’s vessel... a weapon in every. single. instance. Giving himself up (literally) in every. single. instance. for the mission. But Dean is loving, he does all of it for love. Then Cas confesses. He uses his words to mobilise Dean one last time, a Captain until the end, to give Dean a reason to stay strong after Cas is gone because Cas knows it destroys Dean to lose him over and over. And it works! Dean Winchester is saved! He is not a killer. Until he is again. Dean dies trying to finish John’s unsolved case. Dean dies a quiet, meaningless death - scared and in pain - in the arms of his only remaining family: his baby brother. The traumatised child resurfaces in his final moments. Dean found love, he found purpose, he found value in his individual life, but it didn’t matter. He was written to be a weapon. Eventually he would blunt, as even the best knives do, and be no longer fit for purpose. He accepts his death. He accepts his empty Heaven. He accepts that he will never get to love the person he wants to. Because there was never anything more for him. 

Sam is last. The black sheep. The optimist. The cerebral one. He tried so many times to have more than the lonely hunter life, trapped in tragedy and self-destruction, but he was always doomed. Always doomed to be alone if he wanted peace. He knew too much. He’d seen too much. His entire found family had to die before he could escape the hunter’s life, and the grief marked every single second of his life. His sacrifice is the story (Swan Song anyone?) and he can never be separate from it; he is haunted until his dying breath. 

The Winchesters reunite in Heaven to complete the circle. They are the same people were saw in the pilot. After everything, we are presented with Sam and Dean reuniting after a separation that was necessary to establish their roles, and resume their storyline of not finding themselves together.

If you read the show as a soul-wrenching tragedy then 15x20 is the perfect ending. If you come to terms with the ouroboros finally catching it’s own tail and trapping Team Free Will in their pre-destined fates, doomed to desperately try to find the weak link and break free. But they don’t. They can't. 

I saw a post saying that you could just watch S1E1 and S15E20 and that would be the whole story. Nothing that  happened in-between made the damnest bit of difference. And if you think about the whole Chuck/Meta arc and S15 in particular, it’s almost genius. The writers came so close to Unfortunate Events-ing us. 

It could've been the greatest tragedy ever framed like this. 

It was the greatest tragedy ever told because it wasn't framed like this. 

[no-mere-mortals]

OK I love The Greatest Showman and all but as a classical soprano there can not be a bigger slap to the face than introducing a character like “this is the most famous opera singer of all time, she’s an incredible opera singer best voice I’ve ever heard” only to have her walk onstage and sing Pop Ballad #28179

[gillianthecat]

@petrichoraline I'm going to paste your tags here cause I want to preserve them for myself:

AAAAAAA #read this in one breath mwah #beautiful #i looove how you felt that connection with hui aaa amazing i feel like compiling a list of his performances as we speak lmao #if it ruins the experience you shouldnt blog the rest fs but i personally looved it #it was also kinda funny for me cause i havent watched the ep so i knew what and who you were talking about most of the time but at some #points i was totally lost lmao #anyways ill try not to spoil whos in the show still (and till youre done with catching up more people will have dropped out unfortunately) #but yeah mnets editing is memed so much there was a whole trend of people editing different stuff in their style lol #but the reaction cutting and repetition is overall very present in korean entertainment so we get used to it :') #also worthy to point out i think is that for future performances there are versions without reactions on yt in case you want to enjoy those #love that jiwoong surprised you cause i remember seeing his audition with the vampire fit and wine glass randomly like ?? bestie?? #also pentagon (hui's group) is definitely popular enough they just have the shittiest management #the frozen head thing is so interesting ill try to pay attention to that from now on #if im not mistaken theres a small story behind the boys they used for hui's story (three guys who performed his song weakly) but not sure #if thats the performance you watched so as to avoid spoilers i want say anything for now #it just has to do with them being screwed over big time before the dance #anyways i absolutely love the kindness all of this is written with and just the overall style (which goes for all your notes but this feels #a bit more intense and personal to me hahah) so thank you

Your last tags about my writing make me feel all glowy inside 😊 Imagine me doing the heart fingers symbol at you. 🤞(I think that's supposed to be crossed for good luck but let's pretend.) I'm glad it comes across as kind 💖

Feel free to spoil away, I'm waiving my ignorance is bliss policy for this one. I stopped mid episode 2 when it started to be mostly just the judges yelling at contestants and I got bored/annoyed. It may be a little too reality tv for me to take in large two-hour doses when I'm not in the midst of a hyperfixation, so I will probably follow the advice you sent me about skip skip skip. And I feel no investment in the outcome of the competition.

I would be happy to get more videos of Hui! He's gotten me curious about his work. That sucks that his group has shitty management. I hope being on the show helps them get revived. And now I'm curious about the story of the three trainees who did his song.

I did hear about Ji-woong on this show, but had completely forgotten. And I definitely did not see his vampire themed audition, I will have to go look that up.

Thoughts While Watching Boys Planet: in which I discuss the contestants, muse over K-pop and reality tv, and go off on many tangents

Reality TV here I come! I don’t watch it that often, but I don’t avoid it. The main things I’ve watched at any length are Dancing with the Stars, So You Think You Can Dance (but mostly only watching routines, I don’t think I’ve seen many full episodes) and the Great British Baking Show. So basically I watch dance and low stakes fun competitions. (I can’t stand any lifestyle or dating reality tv, it makes me sooo uncomfortable on behalf of everyone involved and I have to hide away.)

The most recent reality tv thing I watched was probably my favorite. After The Untamed I got into a Xiao Zhan phase and watched the singing “competition” show he was in Our Song,which was lovely and non-stressful because everyone was already a working professional singer at various stages of their career, so a) they all sounded good and knew how to put on a good show, and b) it felt like they were all going to be just fine, no matter what happened. There wasn’t the angst of contestants’ dreams dying when they get eliminated, as I suspect will be the case for Boys Planet.

I don’t know a ton about K-pop, although I’ve absorbed some stuff through tumblr and the general atmosphere. I do feel like this could be, in an oblique sort of way, a useful introduction to the K-pop industry for me. Not that I think they’re going to present an accurate picture of what it’s like, but I find that I can learn a lot through the stories that they try to show, and the things that slip through the cracks, and all the assumptions made. My impression of the industry is that it is very competitive, and an intense, heavy-workload training process that starts way too young, and that idols are under heavy pressure to look and present themselves a certain way. So actually a lot like the ballet world, and I’m a big fan of ballet, but for some reason young K-pop idols make me more worried. Perhaps because they seem so much more exposed, the K-pop audience is enormous and these kids are hoping to get famous fast, whereas even the Maria Khorevas and Isabelle Boylstons of ballet stay pretty safely unknown to most of the world. Yes, the training is unhealthy in many ways, but at least the reward for it isn’t losing your private life.

Caveat before I get into the show itself: the contestants are all really good dancers, much better than me. If I sound judgmental sometimes, well, that’s because I’ve watched a lot of top level dancers of a variety of styles, and have developed Opinions. Are the Opinions necessarily accurate or fair? No, but I still have them.

Like @petrichoraline, I get stressed out when the judges are mean, and worry about the contestants being exploited for their dreams. So many of them are still teenagers! With these kind of things, especially with the contestants so young, I actually tend to hope it’s more staged than not, because that feels more protective of these idol hopefuls; their raw selves aren’t hung out for everyone to see.

The beginning is cute with us discovering the Boys Planet world and how things work with these two dorky contestants who only feel worthy of one sticker star. They feel like the plucky wide-eyed farm boys setting off on an adventure in a fantasy novel. I wonder if they’re hear just for this role—with NINETY-EIGHT! (sorry I still can’t get over it) contestants, and I think half of them being eliminated right away (?) there must be some of them who are just here bascially as seat fillers, or reaction shots, who knowingly don’t have a chance, right? Just to make things easier for the judges/audience voting. I just hope that those contestants know that that’s their role and aren’t getting their dreams crushed by surprise.

I’m not a big fan of this editing choice of all these double takes. It’s distracting and I keep feeling like it wastes time when there are NINETY-EIGHT contestants to go through. I’m generally not a fan of the quick cuts and constant switches to reaction shots—I want to see them perform—but I realize that’s just a part of how reality tv is done. And it’s true that some of the reactions are great.

With NINETY-EIGHT idol hopefuls, there is no way to keep track of everyone and I am already lost. It doesn't help that so many of them, especially in the K Group, are dressed so similarly. I am glad for my sake that they’re at least organized into groups by… agency? training school? I’m not exactly sure what their relationships to these corporations are, although I have heard of many of them. I’m also glad for the contestants' sakes they’re in groups, that seems a lot less terrifying than doing a solo. Also, frankly, group performances are usually better, a solo performer needs a lot of charisma to hold the stage alone.

I feel (sort of) qualified to evaluate their dancing, but not at all their singing. I am giving their voices a lot of leeway. I know in music videos the voices are recorded separately from the dancing, get a lot of processing before being released, and I suspect it’s true to some degree or another (from instantaneous digital enhancement to full on lip-syncing to a prerecorded track) of all the live professional performances. Here it sounds like they’re not getting any of that, we’re just hearing their unmodified singing, and while they’re vigorously dancing, which is really hard! So I know it’s not going to sound “professional,” but I don’t know enough about singing to be able to evaluate their raw voices.

I’ve paused halfway through to type this up, and I’m trying to remember who I’ve seen already. I’ve mostly lost track of our original duo; it seems the show has dropped them as guides.

There is the Last Contestant, Lee Hoe-taek, already a K-pop idol, just back from military service. Being largely ignorant about Kpop bands, I’m not sure if he was a Big Deal or in a small band most people don’t know, but either way his big dramatic reveal at the end was entertaining. All the contestants sure seemed to recognize him and be shocked that he was there.

I always suspect with these things that the company knows going into it pretty much who they want to hire. I mention that now, because I’m guessing Lee Hoe-taek is here to either to anchor the group that forms at the end, and so is definitely getting in, or is just here to provide veteran (no pun intended) presence in the competition, and is definitely not getting in, because they want a group full of young unknowns.

On the other hand there is audience voting, so… are they manipulating it somehow? Or are they actually going to abide by audience choice? (It’s possible there are rules I could look up. But I’m just gonna speculate instead.) I suppose if they don’t care so much about the group produced but just the competition to get there that would make sense. I am very intrigued about what this show is trying to do, especially given the Korea vs. the rest of the world framing, which they occasionally play up. The message seems to be, “We in Korea are the originators of Kpop and have training down to a science and therefore are the best at it” but also, “Isn’t it exciting how far K-pop has reached and how many people want to be a part of it like us.” They’re not hitting us over the head with it (so far), but some of the judges masters’ comments are implying that. But I also don’t feel qualified to talk about what’s going on in the international cultural politics of it all, other than to notice it’s very present.

And of course there is also that time honored method of audience vote manipulation: editing! Which they’re already using extensively (they really have no choice with NINETY-EIGHT contestants) so perhaps they’ve a short list of candidates they want for the final nine and are willing to let the votes work out the details. I honestly wouldn’t be shocked if Lee Hoe-taek selflessly pulls out at the last moment to give a younger contestant a chance, or something like that.

Where was I? Oh yes, the contestants. First up was the K Group quartet from Jellyfish, presenting themselves as extremely confident (they each took seven stars stickers!) which felt put upon to me, like someone (Jellyfish? BP producers? the boys themselves?) decided that would be their “brand.” Like their swagger didn’t feel natural, but who am I to say. Anyways, I thought they were quite good! And the fact they didn’t get 4 stars, and others did, had more to do with the story the show wants to tell, either the Jellyfish group’s redemption from being down, or some complicated politics about K Group vs. G Group, than it did with the actual talent of the contestants. But also, it’s hard for me to evaluate the dancing with all the quick cut editing, and I can’t speak on the singing at all, so the judges masters could be seeing something that I’m not. They did go quite hard, and that one master made a good point about needing some nuance, needing to let the voices be heard. It just seemed Jellyfish was being held to a higher standard than others. I’m not personally super into their style, but they’re very skilled. Park Gun-wook seems to be getting the main character treatment, with his solo and all.

Next up: Team WakeOne from G Group. From Japan, I think? I forgot the details, I have to re-watch. They start with this little warm up thing, I think they’re trying to make themselves stand out with it? I don’t really get it tbh. But in the actual performance they’re also quite good. One of the things I was worried about going into this show was that there would be a lot of embarrassing flailing around on stage, but so far everyone shown seems very competent and well trained. It really does feel like a nearly professional level group, ready to transition to being an actual idol. I guess that’s the difference with SYTYCD, which had people from so many different dance backgrounds trying on new styles; here everyone has trained for this specific job they’re going for. I don’t have other thoughts on this group specifically, the edits are too fast for me to really evaluate other than “they know what they’re doing.” Oh, right! Haruto was the ballet dancer. Thirty fouettés. In socks! I’m very impressed (even if he no longer has a ballet dancer’s form.) He is a very expressive performer though. And the first all-star!

Next: Ah yes, the four from Taipai, with the contemporary-trained extremely flexible main dancer. I don’t remember much about them other than they were also very competent. And the contemporary dancer was quite skilled (even though I don’t particular enjoy that style of meaningless trick based competition style “contemporary” choreography that he did). But it impressed everyone, so that’s what counts, and luckily for me that will probably be the only time I see it here. And it got him all-star! They do love their cross-trained classical dancers, lol.

Oh this part was kind of odd. Next up was a duo from Vietnam, another from Thailand, and four from China… and they just sort of talked around their performances? I thought they were building up to a big reveal, but it seems like they did poorly and so the editors just decided not to show them? I do appreciate on one level if they’re protecting the candidates from embarrassment. But in the tiny clips they showed they seemed reasonably competent. Perhaps the big reveal will come later. They are getting the hardworking underdog with big dreams treatment, so I can’t imagine they’ll disappear just yet.

Ah the Americans! My countrymen. I wasn’t intending to be all patriotic, but Jay is kind of adorable. As that other contestant said, he has amazing reactions to everything. I was racking my brains for who he reminded me of: it’s Zeng Shun Xi, who played Wu Xi in Ultimate Note, especially when he smiles. These two are also well trained, danced well and sounded good. They seem more singing focused; I think the choreo was simpler compared to the others, the voices more highlighted. And Jay uses his face wonderfully! I’m totally charmed. I have a variety of thoughts and feelings about non-black people doing hip hop, and their style felt especially… imitative of R&B somehow? idk, I don’t really know what I’m talking about. But the influence of black hip hop and R&B on Korean music and dance is another large (and fascinating) conversation I don’t know enough to say much useful about. I guess the fact that he’s from the US makes it stand out to me more here.

And Jay gets another all-star! Poor other American, in Jay’s shadow. I do wonder how everyone feels about getting separated from their original group, as some get eliminated, as I imagine is going to happen. Have they worked together long, or were they thrown together just for this? I’m not “shipping” any of these people, but I can also see how these situations are rife with drama for good stories. I understand why Cheewin set part of War of Y in an idol competition show—so much potential here!

Halfway through! I’m impressed if you’re still reading my ramblings; I’m not really sure why I have so many thoughts about this show that I want to share, but I do.

Eavesdropping on the “private” conversations as the contestants are on break. I’m just assuming (hoping) that they know they’re being recorded. The chatter is about what you’d expect, admiration about how talented and good-looking every is, worry about how they’re doing. It’s a bit boring, but I hope the show continues to mostly avoid interpersonal drama.

The annoying thing about competition shows is that the contestants are forced to come up with these inane and vaguely xenophobic statements like “Group G can’t beat Group K. Why? Because are roots are different.” Just to build up the “rivalry.”

Ok! Now we’ve got the two groups from YueHua! And Gasp! They end up doing the same piece. If they were from different companies I would acknowledge the possibility of coincidence. But I can’t image YueHua wouldn’t know, so it has to be intentional. All the better to make comparisons! Group G YueHua is full of charming bluster, and both seem at the top level in terms of training and skills, but, sorry Global group, the Korean team wins this round. That 16 year old dancer everyone is fawning over really is very good. But I don’t think Group G Yuehua is going anywhere; they’re all too charming to be kicked off yet. (And here’s the “and ollie.” of that first post I reblogged! I’m still awaiting the “heterophobe” with bated breath.)

Oh yes, the violin! No one’s even listening, lol, there just impressed he can play! Which I am too, tbh. (I do wonder what twosetviolin from youtube would have to say about it, is he any good?) Zhang Hao gets himself an all-star with that and his high notes.

Ok, but I love 29 yo Lee Hoe-taek’s reaction when Han Yu Jin says he was born in 2007. Me too buddy, me too. (I just googled, he was actually FIFTEEN in the English way of counting age when this was filmed. He turned 16 last week. Holy shit.)

OMG. I just checked and that contestant who looks so much like the actor from Roommates of Poongduck 304 IS that actor. Kim Ji Woong. I kept thinking they looked so alike whenever the camera focused on his reaction (as it often does) and then I remembered I’d read there was a BL actor on the show.

Anyways, onward. Ricky and Zhang Hao are more nervous watching their Korean label-mates than the were performing themselves, but I can’t tell if it’s because they want them to do well or are worried they’ll beat them. Do the two teams train together at YueHua? For some reason I get the feeling they’re being supportive, but maybe its just because I like that idea better.

Omg it’s so annoying when they interrupt and restart and restart and restart the choreography to build dRAmA. Once again I say, I am not a fan of reality tv style editing. But Yu Jin really is a captivating dancer, and this choreo serves him well. I think maybe the group isn’t as good vocally as the Chinese team? but are collectively better dancers.

These little tidbits from the Chinese YueHua team about seeing the Korean YueHua team rehearse are fascinating to me. That’s what I like most about dance reality shows, these little glimpses behind the curtain. The Korean team had such stage presence, I could see it only coming alive before an audience, and hard to access in the rehearsal studio.

Now seems as good a place as any to share one of my theories about why most K-pop idol dancers I’ve seen (which I admit is still not that many), despite being incredibly skilled and talented, do not quite cross over to the WOW level for me of really inhabiting the movement. Part of it of course is that they are singers and celebrities as well, and the nature of that is that most of them end up being really good at two two things instead of absolutely amazing at one. But also I think a lot of them have mirror head. I don’t know if it's a real term or I just made it up, but it’s a real thing—when you train you spend so much time watching yourself in the mirror, perfecting every move, but you forget to learn to move your head naturally, so the dance doesn’t seem full-bodied in the same way. My hypothesis is that Yu Jin’s training has been so rushed (1 year!) that he’s largely relying on his natural talent and movement quality, and hasn’t accidentally frozen his head. Obviously there are many other little details that turn a performer from extraordinarily competent at dance to dancer, and of course the whole idea could be bullshit.

Four all-stars for them! It would have been sad if the last guy got left out, lol. First time I watched I wasn’t sure what I thought about Kim Gyu Vin asking to also do a solo dance, but this time I thought it was cute.

Tangent from all my tangents—I find it hilarious how they’re blurring out their signs. I know it’s to avoid spoilers about how many stars everyone has (since I assume they’ve edited this into a different order than how they actually performed) but because the stars are right over everyone’s crotch while seated, well…

Next up a solo act! This is adorable how he messes up his little intro line. I like how supportive Lee Hoe-taek seems. I’m finding myself grow fond of this guy for absolutely no reason. I just like his reactions. Perhaps it’s the “old folks” solidarity? (I’m a decade older than him, lol.)

I can’t tell what I’m supposed to think of blue satin shirt’s performance here. To me it’s the most high-school-talent-show level of singing and dancing they’ve showed yet, but also performing solo is a lot harder and more exposing. So I don’t want to judge too harshly.

This has got to have been staged… there is no way two contestants that just happened to be the only solo acts just happened to do the exact same piece and oh look! they’re also the only two wearing black slacks with slutty satin button downs in complementary colors! Spontaneous idea! Why don’t they dance together? It’s a cute bit though, so I don’t mind.

Oh yes! The master going to help red satin shirt fix his earpiece was also adorable. (These guys seem to be the comic relief of the episode. Hopefully for their sakes it’s on purpose.) I enjoyed his performance more, although it felt equally amateurish, I think because he seemed more relaxed and having fun. I liked the way he smiled through it, even if the judge master thought it was odd. “Something feels very loose about it. But I don’t want him to fix it and do it properly.” Same sis, same. Somehow it works, lol. I also love that he takes off his shoes and socks.

OK! I’m back to where I was when I paused to “jot down a few notes.” 😂 Several hours later:

The master is right, it does look better as a duet (this whole thing was definitely planned). They’re still no superstars, but at least they look respectable.

Oh dear. I was just thinking oh he’s kinda hot when the master said, “oh he’s handsome.” But he is!

Did these two really do the choreography for most of k-pop, or did the producers somehow set it up so all the groups keep doing their choreo? Since supposedly the contestants didn’t know these would be the judges until they walked into the room. This is where my industry ignorance makes it hard to evaluate things. Either way it adds a nice frisson of tension to the proceedings.

Oh dear. They’re bad. I do appreciate the editing and reaction shots making it clear it’s not just me who thinks that. But I do feel for any contestants who come on and get the you suck edit.

Another solo! I feel pacing-wise he needs to be good after comedy bad and just plain bad. Crossing my fingers. The soloist is right, both masters are very handsome 😄 This little bit is cuter than it has any right to be. Oh, I guess bad contestants are not over, instead we’re going all in on the bad singers 😬 I had such hopes for this dude after his dramatic start, but that was painful to hear. All of these singers are. It's not quite as kind about bad performances as I thought earlier, but at least we're only getting short clips.

At moments like these I wonder, were these bad singers deliberately chosen to pad out the NINETY-EIGHT and make it easy to cut? And give an excuse for this speech on the importance of singing the lyrics? As a non-singer I do find it interesting how performers balance the singing and dancing. But I feel bad for all these kids who came on with hope. Did they think their singing would be good enough? Or that their dancing was all that mattered (I can’t tell if they were good dancers because the clips were so short.) Or were they in on the trick of it all? I hope for the last one, but I suspect Mnet is not that kind.

Yeah it’s a long day, there are NINETY-EIGHT trainees here. (Seriously. I want to understand the point of that decision. Are they charging contestants for participating? Do they think it increases the drama for the television audience? We’ve barely seen a quarter of them so far and it already feels like a lot.)

Matthew, that was a bold claim, that you speak French! You had to have guessed they’d ask you to speak it. Good thing none of the judges seems to understand. (Not that he’s terrible, just trying to speak yet a third language that you’re not fluent in while under pressure. Difficult.) Anyways, I can’t decide now if he’s going to be good so they can keep him around (along with Jay) for the North American crowd, or if this is a sign of imminent disaster. They’ve certainly managed to endear him to me, I find myself hoping he’s amazing. Aw and this background story about his friendship with Sung Han Bin is adorable. He has to stay at least one more episode after this editorial treatment. Yay! He’s good :-) Not like mindblowing, but good enough to seem like he belongs there. Hmm. This is the first time we’ve seen the judges give normal actually useful feedback. I wonder why that is? The editors certainly seem to be promoting Matthew as "the one who will grow."

Sung Han Bin. I’m pretty sure it was him I saw on a video here who was dancing like amazingly well, so I’m looking forward to this. His very stiff nervous posture isn’t a good sign, but they are saying he used to be a dancer so I have hope. Oh yay! We get to see one of the choreographer judges dance! Oh boo it’s mostly just reaction shots. But she is good. And so is he, in the little bit the actually let us watch. Yay!

Oh interesting. They get to check boxes on what they think they’re good at and what they want work on. Did all those poor kids come thinking that they didn’t need to be good at singing yet? Also, they keep saying, “he’s singing this live, right?” Does that mean that some of them actually weren’t?

He seems good, but they won’t let me watch him long enough to actually seeee anything 😾. Honestly, he doesn’t seem quite at the level as I was expecting for having worked as a backup dancer for two years, but singing at the same time and being a solo act is a whole different ballgame. And his voice seems pretty good, considering that’s not his specialty. I wonder, are he and my arbitrarily beloved old guy Lee Hoe-taek the only ones who have worked professionally as performers before, or are there many of them? Oh wait, our BL actor friend with the kissable lips, Kim Ji Woong, was also a working idol at one point. Now I’m finding myself curious/nervous to see how he does. I bet out of the NINETY-EIGHT contestants, at least a few of them have experience.

Ok, a trio from Tokyo! And they too are doing a song by someone in the audience, although this time it’s a fellow contestant. The producers have to be arranging this for the drama. There are a lot of possible K-pop songs, right? I don’t know, I’m new here. Ahh. they made it a mandatory practice song. Maybe they just hoped someone would get the hint and pick it on their own.

Aww, why do I love Lee Hoe-taek so much? His reaction is adorable. He’s sitting all alone there in his center throne. I hope the show is kind to him and he’s able to use it purposefully rather than be used by it.

I’m not a big fan of this trio’s voices, but it’s a fun song, and it’s fun having something that the whole audience knows well. Aww, my beloved is crying over the whole upcoming generation dancing along to his song. I don’t know what conversations are had about mandatory military service in S. Korea in general, or specifically about the experiences of Kpop idols going in and then returning the world nearly two years later, but I could imagine that being intense for them in so many ways. Ok, that’s it, I’ve found my guy. I’m not necessarily rooting for him to win, because I suspect he has career path options that fit him better than a debut group with teenagers, but he’s still my guy.

And now we transition into his moment. My boy is going to make me cry. And I never even heard of him before this morning. But he gets to come baaaack! To the staaage! And he has to do it all alone. “How is a trainee?”—that’s right Ollie, you tell them, don’t let them diminish my boy. Aww, and he’s encouraging everyone in his pre-performance speech! But someone is asking The Question—why is he here as a contestant instead of a master?

Arg, this teasing editing is so frustrating. But it looks like yes, he is a PERFORMER. Such presence in those brief clips. I love it when unassuming-looking people turn themselves on on stage. Oh god, they’re building the drama as much as they can. Obviously he did well though, they’re all crying! And it seems like the official answer to The Question is that he just wants to someone to finally tell him he’s good at what he does. Aww. Break my heart why don’t you. Like, I’m not sure how much this character of Lee Hoe-taek has in common with the real person, but the character is compelling.

And of course that’s the cliff hanger. Well now I have to watch episode two to see my beloved perform. I won’t (shouldn’t) blog about it though. (I shouldn’t, but I might be tempted.)

And that wraps up day one, with less than half of the NINETY-EIGHT contests seen. And that was with speeding through some of them. I'd already forgotten the beginning, how are they going to get through it all. I remain curious.

[quesoarts]

better post of the 'tude and chain smoker from my insta

[lesbiansluffy]

“forget what happened then and let me live again!”

[liam-seabreaker]

wow i havent posted on here in a while, but i recently got back into w101 so why not revive this blog :)

it took me a couple days of questing to even realize that KI did a huge spell audit in the summer update (its been a while since i played a lot of the changes didnt even register). from what ive seen, a lot of players dislike a lot of the nerfs, which is def an expected reaction. i cant really comment on the shadow spell nerfs since i havent gotten to that point in the game, but honestly the rest of the changes dont even seem that bad to me.  (and in comparison to the nerfs in the test realm, it could have been a lot worse jdhajdfhad)

i fell down a bit of a research hole, and im so fascinated by their very thorough  standardization of the damage outputs relative to a spells rank and how a spell’s utility and/or tempo change the rank-damage calculation. i find the different schools’ damage curves super cool from a purely mathematical perspective. this is a more thorough article on the specifics of the improved dpp (damage per pip) system, but basically each school has a base dpp (ice/life have the lowest dpp and storm the highest ofc) and the rank of a spell, which is proportional to the number of pips it requies, is multiplied by the base dpp with a slight exponential modifier as rank increases. the damage calculation is also affected by its secondary effects, and i find the calculations of how the damage is affected by the rank of the secondary utilities/tempo so fascinating.

also, the spell balance audit diary post from the devs explains the reasons for the audit, and their logic seems good to me, but i honestly cant say if the spell changes are actually detrimental in game bc i dont really have enough experience with some of the high-rank spells of some schools (altho the 20% health reduction of all mobs in celestia and onward def takes the edge off of some nerfs).

honestly, i think a lot of schools are actually better off. balance got buffs to hydra, chimera, power nova, and balance of power. yea ra is a bit useless now but power nova is now a super good aoe that balance needed. like the other x-pip spells, judgement was left untouched for now, but i expect a neft in the future bc it is a lil overpowered. myth gets aoe cerberus, which is great for myth, and death’s drains now get full enchantment boosts.it seems that life had some spells shuffled around so now forest lord is cheaper and more powerful. 

fire, ice, and storm sort of got the worst of the nerfs, but within the refined dpp system, the nerfed spells were overpowered

overall i dont hate the audit, and i guess its nice to see that KI is putting thought into the mid/end-game metas as well as planning for the game’s future expansion 

Also if u disagree or i made a mistake pls lmk, id like to hear more from other players

[archive-broadwayberrie]

CHARACTER INTRODUCTION (task 001).

☆ did you hear the rumor? RACHEL BERRY has been spotted in the big apple! SHE is 25 y-o and works as a BROADWAY PERFORMER. some things never change, because SHE is still ambitious but also self-centered. psst! we did our research and found out that SHE is secretly dating rupert campion despite not being in love with him so she can get the main parts in his plays. i wonder how long RACH will play pretend! ☆ {lea michele, glee character}.

hiiiii! admin L here. i’m so excited to interact with all of you! IM me if you have questions, if you need more informations or if you want to plot!

BASIC INFORMATIONS.

NAME: Rachel Barbra Berry

AGE, BIRTHDAY: 25, December 18th

HOMETOWN: New York (Manhattan)

TIME IN NEW YORK: 25 years

OCCUPATION: Broadway performer

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Bicurious (she has been attracted towards women, but never explored it or come out)

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Taken by Rupert Campion (secret relationship)

POSITIVE TRAITS: Ambitious, outspoken, supportive

NEGATIVE TRAITS: Self-centered, melodramatic, spoiled

SHIPS: St-Berry, Brochel, Faberry, Schueberry, Samchel, OC, chemistry

ANTI SHIPS: Forced, no chemistry

HEADCANONS

rachel was born in manhattan to two very loving fathers, leroy (a screenplay writer) and hiram (a costume designer). she bathed in the universe of film making, musicals and plays ever since she came to the world. she does not know about her mother and has no interest, as of now, to find out more about her. 

she was homeschooled all her life, until college. she attended nyada after being rejected from julliard due to her throwing a fit during her admission audition because the pianist played the wrong note.

growing up, rachel was very outspoken and easygoing with her parents and family friends. she was supportive of her dads’ careers even if it meant she had to be left alone when they worked on broadway or attended award shows.

she had a hard time making friends, at nyada. she could come off as reserved and naive, but once she opened her mouth, rachel blew everyone away like a tornado. she was a little diva and pretty much everyone hated her for that although, they had to admit it, she earned the right to have such an attitude. rachel was among the best students the academy has ever known.

she did not search for jobs or struggled as a graduate student. her boyfriend insured she was living the dream life. 

she played in funny girl and west side story as maria. 

she started dating rupert campion, broadway performer and director, when she starred on broadway in the revival of funny girl. they did have instant chemistry when they met and during rehearsals, which lead to them dating. she has nothing to complain when it comes to rupert as a partner, he is a decent boyfriend and he is really good at putting the spotlight on her. he will bring her to every big award shows, premieres or events, he will brag about her talent and her impressive career and he sees her as his muse. the thing is, she fell out of love with him since the relationship felt very superficial. she has yet to told him, because he cast her as the lead of his new play and every critic and broadway enthusiast predict it will be a massive hit. 

they have been dating for two or three years and still keep it “secret”. the medias know about them, they’re all smitten on red carpets, but they don’t post about it publicly or talk about it in interviews. 

she has met barbra streisand, who called her “very sweet” and she’s still walking on air.

she has this strange feeling that broadway is not the only thing she was meant to do. she developped such a strong love for singing that she is looking for a record label. 

she is pretty much like rachel from season four and five, a little adventurous, pushed to her limits by life and questioning her title as a broadway ingenue. 

she has appeared on the tonight show with jimmy fallon and she has made a guest appearance on saturday night live for a broadway special edition, with lin-manuel miranda as the host. 

she WILL win a tony award for the current play rupert is working on. but as of now, she has only received positive critics and flowers. we stan a very humble queen. 

her 2020 projects are: jane austen sings and frozen in which she is cast as elsa. 

CONNECTIONS

her wanted connection for a co-star! taken by frank leone!

childhood friends (so people who are native from new york)

a fling during her time at nyada

broadway friends

broadway costars

broadway rivals (someone who wanted the part she got simply by dating rupert)

someone who knows she’s cheating on him

anything else!!!! just im for plot and we’ll definitely figure something out! i can’t wait to interact with all of you!

[turtle-steverogers]

WTF is Cats About?

ralbert and cats the musical :)

warnings: none, cept cats the musical (if ur a cats stan, i swear im not making fun of it,,,,just,,,,,cats)

ship: ralbert

word count: 1577

editing: no lmao...CATS

-

Albert likes to think he’s gotten used to all of Race’s funny quirks and little habits.  He’d long since given up on getting him to stop biting his nails and the whole twirling his hair while he relaxes thing is pretty endearing.  But there are some things that still surprise him.  

Like his utterly amazing habit of withholding big life changes until they’re glaringly important and then announcing them as if he’s commenting on the weather.

Which is why Albert basically spits his tea all over his laptop one morning when Race announces he’s been cast in the fucking Broadway revival of Cats.

Fucking Cats.

Albert doesn’t even know what Cats is about.  Not that he’s ever really had the desire to know.  The whole show is a little too...furry for him.

It had been a mild Sunday morning up until then.  The sky was clear and blue and the sun rays hit just right on their bed, waking them up, but not disturbing them.  They’d lounged around for a few hours, switching between lazy morning cuddles and tiredly making out.  Life since moving to the City together had been exhilarating.  The freedom they’d once yearned for so heavily was finally at their fingertips, lending them the time to focus on their dreams and basking in the post college glow of their early adulthood.

Race worked at the local pizza joint when he wasn’t auditioning for whatever he could find casting calls for (which apparently included fucking Cats the fucking musical).  It was a good gig for him; it kept him busy and entertained.  Something Albert struggled to do single-handedly.

Albert on the other hand worked at a dingy mechanics shop a few blocks away, fixing up old cars on the side while working his way through the prestigious culinary grad program he’d somehow managed to get into.  All in all, they were doing well for themselves as 24 year olds living alone in New York City.

Somehow, they’d managed to drag themselves out of bed and into the kitchen, where Albert fixed them a modest breakfast of omelettes before docking at the counter to sort through some emails.  

Race was sitting next to him, absentmindedly petting Chips, their orange tabby, when he states, “I got cast in the Broadway revival of Cats.”

Albert pauses mid-type, glancing up at his boyfriend, who’s still intently looking at Chips, running his hand down the length of his back, “You what!?”

Race takes a deep breath, then repeats, “I got cast in the Broadway revival of Cats.”

Albert’s been rendered speechless by Race plenty of times in his 6+ years of knowing him.  But he’s never felt quite as...dumbfounded before.

“You got cast...in Cats?” He asks slowly, before shaking his head and backing up, “Wait, no, hang on, hang on...you auditioned for fucking Cats?”

Race ducks his head, a blush forming under his collar and around his ears, “Uh, yeah, I meant to mention it...but it never came up?”

Albert blinks again, “Who- what- what even is Cats?”

Race goes to answer, then closes his mouth hastily, “I don’t...actually really know…”

“How don’t you know?  You’re in the damn show!”

“I was only just cast!  I don’t know it that well yet!”

Albert makes a choked noise, “Okay, but you should at least know what the fuck the show is about if you went through a damn audition process- wait, when was this even happening? What- I’m so confused right now...my fucking boyfriend got cast in a Broadway musical- FUCKING CATS- and I didn’t even know he was auditioning.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you!” Race says, looking alarmed at Albert’s impending Cats- induced mental breakdown.  Chips gives an annoyed meow at the lack of attention being bestowed onto her and leaps off the counter, trotting away to find Queso, their golden doodle.

“I mean, you’re not entitled to tell me everything about your life, just...wow, I mean, this is big,” Albert scrubs a hand down his face, “I didn’t do anything to make you feel like you couldn’t share this with me, did I?”

Race’s face softens, “No, of course not, Albie,” he sighs, reaching across the table and linking their hands together, “I just got caught up in everything...sometimes things just feel so busy and overwhelming and I like to process it alone before letting other people in on it.”

Albert squeezes his hand, “That’s understandable,” he smiles, bending down to kiss his knuckles, “And congrats! I’m so proud of you! I mean, fucking Broadway...my boyfriend’s gonna be on Broadway.”

Race beams, “Thanks.”

“We have to celebrate,” Albert concludes, “I’m calling Spot and the others.  You better not have work tonight, ‘cause we’re going out for drinks.”

Race shakes his head, bemused, as Albert pulls out his phone to text their group chat.  

“Fucking Cats…” Albert murmurs as he sends the text, “Fuckin’....Cats.”

XXX

“Can you say that your bite is worse than your bark?  Are you cock of the walk when you’re walking alone?  Because jellicles are and jellicles do, jellicles do and jellicles would, jellicles would and…”

Albert freezes in the doorway to their apartment, slowly closing the door behind him as he strains his ears.  He follows the sound of the weirdly tempoed music to the kitchen, where Race is bopping around by the microwave, reheating last night’s dinner of chicken curry.

“Hey,” Albert calls, setting the groceries on the counter.

Race glances over, flashing Albert a smile and turning down the music a few notches.

“Hey, yourself,” he says, pulling his bowl out of the microwave and stirring it a bit with a fork to cool it down.

Albert crosses to him, pecking him on the lips quickly and grabbing a glass for water.

“Jellicles can and jellicles do, jellicles can and jellicles do…”

Albert wrinkles his nose, “the fuck even is a jellicle?”

Race shrugs, shoveling a forkful of curry into his mouth, “Dunno, some type of cat?  Google it.”

Albert hums, “So this is Cats then?  Interesting music.”

“I know, it’s kinda weird,” Race says, perching at the counter, “But it grows on you.  Rehearsal started today, so…”

“Yeah, you mentioned that,” Albert places his glass in the sink and leans against the counter, “How’d it go?”

“Pretty well, I made a few friends,” Race says, “Jojo’s in it.”

Albert smiles, “No kidding! That’s crazy.”

“Right?  I didn’t even know he was auditioning!”

“Seems to be the trend with this show.”

“I get it, I get it,” Race rolls his eyes, looking a little guilty.

“Jellicle songs for jellicle cats, jellicle songs for jellicle cats, jellicle songs for jellicle…”

“If they say ‘jellicle’ one more time I’m going to shoot myself,” Albert growls.

Race whips his head up, eyes slightly wide, “Oh, honey, you are not going to make it through this one…”

“Fantastic.”

XXX

“Hey, Race, have you seen my- WHAT THE FUCK!”

Race turns away from the bathroom mirror, fixing Albert with an innocent look.

“Have I seen your what?” He asks.

“No,” Albert says, pointing a finger, “First answer what the FUCK happened to your face.”

Race turns back to the mirror, dabbing some more orange cream foundation around his eyes.  Disturbingly, Albert notes that his makeup design looks very similar to Chips.

“Gotta do our own makeup for the show,” Race answers, padding a generous amount of setting powder around his face, “I’m practising.”

“Right…” Albert rakes his eyes over Race’s features.  So far, the makeup only spans on his face and down his neck a little, “What else does your costume entail exactly?”

Race grins wickedly and Albert swallows.  

“Oh, you’ll see.”

XXX

“Do you like my tail?”

Albert slowly closes his book, praying for strength as he looks up.  Race is standing by the doorway, rehearsal bag dropped at his feet.  His face is smudged- like he tried and failed to clean off all the layers of his meticulous cat makeup.  He’s dressed normally in adidas workout pants and a random t-shirt from a color run they did years back.  Protruding (Albert doesn’t wanna know how, but alas) from his backside is an orange tabby cat tail.

“Did you choose to be the same kind of cat as Chips?  Or was it some sort of creepy coincidence,” Albert deadpans, refusing to look at the tail longer than he has to and keeping his eyes fixed on Race’s face.

Race’s smile drops a fraction of an inch, “Wait, it’s weird that I chose to be her breed?”

Albert groans and picks back up his book.

XXX

“Congratulations!” 

Albert is met with a faceful of Race’s blond curls as the cast comes swarming out of the stagedoor.  He smells like makeup remover and sweat, but Albert doesn’t care as he kisses him, pride swelling in his chest.  

He doesn’t think he’ll ever get over the exhilarating feeling of seeing Race shine onstage.

“Thanks!” Race looks high on adrenaline and Albert never wants that light to leave his eyes, “What did you think?”

“You were so good!  Everyone was!  And the music was all better than I first thought it would be,” Albert said, playfully swaying them back and forth where they stood, keeping his arms wrapped tightly around Race, “Just one question.”

Race cocks his head, “what’s up?”

“What the fuck is Cats about?”

Race tips his head back and laughs, “I still have no fucking clue.”

-

the word ‘cats’ doesn’t even sound real anymore and i think that’s fitting

thanks for reading, chiefs

hmu to be added to my tag

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[wcamino-confessions]

am i the only one who doesn’t even get why we have two prideclans or am i just dumb

(copy/pasted from the discord where I explained a few days ago)

andro and dom both brought up to the lt reviving prc at the same time. andro had been talking to me about doing so for several months and we're good friends, plus she was part of old prideclan, so i gave her my blessing to continue it in my stead. however i was unaware dom was also interested in starting one up.the talked about co-leading, but discovered they have very different visions for the clans, so the lt is allowing both of them to operate until it's time to decide which one become productive, at which point the members of the other clan will be allowed to privately audition for the other one, and the two will merge, with the leaders of the one chosen for productivity remaining in power (along with the systems they set up for the clan).i think ive been pretty transparent that im much more involved in andro's clan, as she's been designing it with the original spirit and structure of prideclan in mind. it's basically unchanged from old prideclan (so big focus on collaboration, community challenges, content-creation, analysis, building safe spaces, providing validation and support, etc) except with a big push to involve the community more so it doesnt feel exclusive (which was a critique last time). i do not know much on how dom plans to run his version, but from what i gather, it's more about content creation and analysis i believe. he has things like character divisions and relationship divisions, andro does not--instead everyone works as a group to do monthlies, train apprentices, etc. i know andro is doing this because she wants to carry out the same goal i had, which is to foster love an acceptance through fun warriors-related content. i know dom also has good intentions and was informed he stated he missed being a leader of something, which contributed to his decision to make his own prc.