#If you're expecting a level headed response. Dont.

[theglizzardwizard]

the anons started long before I posted in the tag, buddy.

[lyvhie]

after last night | dong sicheng

actor!sicheng x actress!reader (+18 mdni)

summary: acting alongside your rival was supposed to be just another one of the competitions you play out in your mind, but after a brief heated moment between the two of you, you began to question your true feelings toward him.

a/n: @winwintea..... i'm finally here, pookie.... im like, so so so so so sorry it took sooooo long for me to finally finish this. but i put a lot of love care blood sweat and tears on it, i hope you like it, if you dont, then ill disappear from earth and no one will ever see me again 😫

cw: smut, fluff, more of one-sided rivals to situationship, alcohol mention and consumption, fingering, edging, unprotected sex.

with a frustrated huff, you sank into the chair, allowing the makeup artist to work their magic. the studio was filled with an almost tangible tension, as everyone seemed to expect a blow-out fight between you and sicheng at any moment.

it’s been a constant issue since the start of filming this drama. working on the same project as your long-time rival sicheng has made every day stressful, the constant tension and friction have made filming the drama a more difficult and uncomfortable experience for everyone involved.

the undeniable chemistry between you and sicheng on camera despite the constant tension backstage has led to the difficulty of finding another pair to match your on-screen chemistry. as the main characters of the drama, the romantic aspect of the show requires a certain level of connection and synchronization that only you two seem to possess, as ironic as it may sound.

but today, the prolonged shoot further strained everyone on the set, not only due to the physical exhaustion, but also the weight of the tense atmosphere that loomed over everyone. the frustration and fatigue were palpable, and the constant back and forth between you and sicheng only added to the mounting pressure.

the problem was the dreaded kissing scene. despite everyone’s expectations, you and sicheng can’t do it — and unfortunately, you’re the only one to blame. every time the distance between your faces closes, you instinctively pull away, much to everyone’s frustration.

“um, excuse me,” the staff member poked her head into the dressing room and announced, "the director said it's getting late, and it would be best to continue tomorrow, so… everyone is dismissed for today,” she gave a small, apologetic smile before closing the door gently.

"of course this would happen," you mutter under your breath, trying to contain your frustration. you dismiss the makeup artist with a polite nod, then tilt your head back in irritation as you let out a heavy sigh.

“can you please calm down a little, boss?” your assistant, haneul, places a cup of hot chocolate in front of you and steps into your view, her voice gentle as she pleads with you.

you glare at her and snap, "don't ask me to calm down when i’m perfectly calm, haneul,” grabbing the drink, you take a big sip before continuing. "dong sicheng is such an idiot.”

haneul lets out a deep sigh, rolling her eyes at your response. "he might be an idiot, but you're not much better when you act like this all the time," she says, crossing her arms. "just suck it up, get the scene done, and then you can go back to hating each other."

her firm words cause you to flinch, and you allow your shoulders to drop, acknowledging her point. you're aware that you've been more irritating than usual lately, and her straightforward approach hits home.

you sigh, slumping into the chair and admit, "i know, i know. i'm sorry. i'm just in a really bad mood today. everything is going wrong, and sicheng... i just want to punch that annoying face of his so bad.”

haneul couldn't help but chuckle, her eyes crinkling in amusement as they watched you scrunch your face like you had just tasted something sour.

"you two should get a room," her tone was playful, yet there was an underlying suggestion in her voice that betrayed her mischievous thoughts.

"what?!" you exclaimed, your voice tinged with disbelief and shock, you were offended even. the mere thought of having something like that with sicheng gave you the creeps.

haneul continued with a sly smile on her face, her tone now tinged with a hint of amusement, "i’m just saying," she began, "that we can all see the tension between you two. it's like you're just waiting for the moment to pounce on each other."

"is that your way of asking to be fired, huh?" your eyebrows raising slightly out of disbelief. "cut the nonsense – where the hell did you even get that idea?" you shook your head, dismissing the absurd thought, clearly annoyed by your friend's outlandish assumption.

haneul just laughed even more, enjoying the reaction from you. she had always assumed that deep down, you were only pretending to hate sicheng, because she could sense that there was secretly something more than just dislike. the imaginary game you played in your mind, of trying to outshine each other, was something she thought had made the actual attraction to him more intense.

"yeah, you can keep telling yourself that, boss," she placed her hands on your shoulders, giving them a slight squeeze. "but your bad mood would improve a lot if you just let him hit it.”

haneul was caught off guard as you suddenly grabbed the pillow from your lap, not having enough time to react. she grunted as the pillow hit her face with a soft thud. she stumbled back, rubbing her face where the pillow made contact, failing to hide her giggle and act offended.

she was about to continue with her tease when the sound of the door opening interrupted her, as if a greater force was saving her from provoking your wrath even further.

"sorry to interrupt," sicheng's deep voice reached your ears, his gaze fixing on you with a small raise of his eyebrows. he was the last person you wanted to see. "are you free right now?"

“for you?”

“mhm.”

“then no.”

sicheng let out a deep sigh in response, already expecting this reply from you. your name came out of his lips with a different, pleading tone compared to the annoyed one he had used for you all day.

"i’m serious," he said, his voice tinged with a hint of sincerity. "we need to talk, please?"

you were usually a stubborn person, but perhaps today you were simply too drained and the memory of haneul's words from before suddenly echoed in your mind, reminding you that maybe making things difficult wasn't always the right way to go, you knew you had already caused enough trouble.

so with a reluctant sigh, you relented, “fine,” your tone slightly annoyed. “what is it?” you gestured for haneul to give you some space alone with him and she immediately made her way to the door, despite her curiosity about what you would talk.

sicheng moved closer, taking a seat in front of you. you expected him to bring up the topic of the messed-up records and give you his usual sweet and annoying words of reassurance, mentally prepared to roll your eyes and respond with snark.

"i've noticed how stressful it was for you today," he started, his tone sympathetic. "and since this is your first romantic role, i've been thinking about what i could do to make this process easier for you. then, i realized the solution was right in front of us.”

you raised an eyebrow skeptically, not liking where this was going.

“we just need to practice,” he smiled.

"you're saying we should practice... kissing?"

“exactly!”

“absolutely not.”

his smile faded away instantly.

he let out a slight whine, trying to persuade you to comply. "oh, come on," he pleaded, "don't be like that now.”

“i said no. this is so stupid, sicheng,” you crossed your arms, looking away from him.

“why are you making such a big deal out of this?" even though he already knew that acting like this was part of your nature, he still asked.

you felt overwhelmed at the thought of having to kiss him on set even more, let alone practicing it multiple times. it was already a challenge for you, and you were unsure if you could handle it.

you responded with a nonchalant shrug, trying to downplay it. "i’m not making a big deal out of it," you said dismissively. "i just think this idea is stupid. that’s all."

"have you thought about something better then?" he asked, his tone tinged with a slight annoyance. “there's no way we can keep going with the show if you don't overcome this problem." his eyebrows furrowed as he continued, "you know we'll have to perform even more 'spicy' scenes in the future, right?”

ugh... of course you know. you were already starting to regret your stupid decision to accept a show for a mature audience just to compete with sicheng.

“and i fear they might replace you for this scene," he continued, his tone serious. "not that it's a problem per se, but i know you don't like stunts.”

his words made you flinch a little. it’s not that you dislike stunts themselves, you actually think they are pretty cool and that their work is impressive. you just don't like the idea of not seeming capable of doing your own work, and feeling inadequate when you know you're so skilled in it. it leaves you feeling disconcerting.

overwhelmed? unsure if you could handle it? regretting your role choice? replaced by a stunt double? bullshit! you were a top-notch actress, and a simple kiss wouldn't change that. you had the skills and confidence to tackle any role thrown your way.

sicheng knew he had struck a chord as he observed your expression. he knew well that bringing out your competitive side would effectively motivate you. the slight frown that appeared on your face, coupled with the defeated sigh and the rolled eyes, only confirmed his assumption that he had achieved his goal.

“okay, let's do that.”

hah.

he got you.

haneul couldn't resist making suggestive remarks toward you upon hearing that she could leave first because you had things to do with sicheng. it wasn't until you played the "threaten-her-paycheck" card that she finally decided it was time to head home.

now it was just you and sicheng in the studio. as you stood leaning against the table set for the scene, your eyes briefly skimmed over the script once more. you knew that it wasn't to ensure you did it right, but rather to prolong the inevitable moment of kissing him.

“are you done?” sicheng's voice cut through your thoughts, prompting you to lift your head and meet his gaze. he stood a short distance away, his arms crossed in a manner that signaled his patient but slightly impatient attitude.

as you cleared your throat, a subtle attempt to buy a little more time, you glanced back down at the script. "almost," you replied, keeping your gaze fixed on the paper. "i just need to read through it one more time."

but contrary to what you insisted on saying, sicheng wasn’t an idiot.

a flicker of surprise crossed your face as sicheng abruptly grabbed the papers from your hands and tossed them aside. the unexpected move caught you off guard, and before you could react, he had placed his hands on either side of the table, effectively cornering you.

“what are you doing?” your frown deepened as he leaned closer, his body nearly touching yours. the proximity making it difficult to ignore the rapid thuds of your heart and keep your feigned annoyance.

“you needed time," he said, "and i think i've given you enough."

"don't be an idiot," you scoffed. “we need to re—”

“we're not here to rehearse the lines," he interrupted you quickly. "we both know you can recite this backward by now."

you couldn't argue with sicheng's words, he was right; there wasn't a need to play the entire scene when you could easily jump straight to the main part.

you had been attempting to buy time, and sicheng had allowed you some grace in doing so. but he had finally reached a point where enough was enough. there was no escape now.

"alright," you responded with a confident gaze, your expression indicating a readiness to proceed. sicheng's brow twitched slightly at your response, a subtle sign that he was either surprised or intrigued by your sudden change.

his agreement followed swiftly:

"great."

“great.”

with those simple lines, the stage was set.

you were in the correct position, just as the script dictated. in this moment, the male lead had devised a plan to kiss the girl, saying that her wishes would only come true if she kissed him, and he had locked her in the exact position where sicheng was holding you now.

all it needed was the pivotal moment — the kiss.

sicheng's hand cupped your face once more, replicating the same intimate gesture as before. the familiar sensation of his thumb on your cheek triggered the erratic beating of your heart.

you reassured yourself, attributing the sudden rush to the invested nature of your role. easy now, easy, you thought, repeating the mantra in your mind. it was only natural for your heart to race in this moment due to the intimacy required by the character you were portraying — that’s all.

as he leaned even closer, your instinct to push him away resurfaced once more. yet, you resisted the urge, your hands tightly grasping the edge of the table instead.

sicheng's eyes roamed over your lips, and you caught yourself replicating the action unknowingly. those plump lips of his were undeniably inviting, and it was challenging to deny the magnetic attraction you felt.

his lips caressed yours gently and softly, their subtle touch sending a shiver down your spine. the script called for a quick, chaste kiss, and that's precisely what you received as his lips pressed against yours. it was a brief moment, but it was enough to make your legs tremble in response.

ok, first part done. now comes the rest.

with a swift, fluid motion, sicheng leaned in for a second kiss, his hands cupping your face as his thumb subtly guided your chin downwards. you felt your lips part instinctively, granting him access to explore the depths of your mouth with his warm, skilled tongue.

you know, there's no such thing as a "technical kiss" in acting.

you either kiss, or you kiss.

it has to be real.

that's why you were so reluctant before because, right now, only god knows how much you are enjoying this. and no matter how much you triy to deny it, the way your tongue move against his is proof enough.

you found your hands reaching out to grasp his shirt, pulling him closer as you responded to the kiss with a new sense of eagerness.

sicheng was surprised. this wasn't in the script at all. now it seemed like you were just... making out.

not that he's complaining. he likes it.

he very, very much likes it.

as if they had a life of their own, his hands found the hem of your shirt, playing with the cloth for a few moments before sliding them under your clothes. his fingers came into contact with your skin, caressing it gently and making you shiver slightly.

and then, walking a little further, his hand trailed down to the waistband of your pants, sneaking into your panties. the gasp that escaped your lips served as a jolt to your consciousness. quickly, you broke the kiss and grasped his wrist, preventing any further advancements from him.

you locked eyes with sicheng, both of you panting. his hooded eyes, slightly flushed face, and his swollen, reddened lips were a sight to behold.

sicheng's voice, soft and low, echoed softly, asking, "what?" just as he leaned in for another kiss. you almost, almost gave in, your lips yearning to meet his, but you fought the urge, tilting your head back to avoid it.

you pushed him away quickly, fixing your slightly disheveled clothing while attempting to regain composure. your voice trembled a little as you speak.

"i think we did pretty good already. it's getting late too." you hastily handed him the studio keys before adding, "um, thank you for the practice. you can close up. see you tomorrow!" with those words, you hurriedly made your way towards the exit.

things happened so fast that sicheng barely seemed to process what was going on.

"hold on, wait!" his voice rushed after you, trying to catch up. "calm down," he called out, his words coming out quickly. "you didn't come by car today, did you? let me drive you home, i just need to—”

"no! it's fine,” you shook your head adamantly, cutting him off. "i can catch a taxi. thanks anyway.”

and just like that, you left, running away like a cat while closing the door in sicheng's face. the man let his shoulders fall and sighed loudly as he looked at the closed door in front of him, a small smile appearing on his face.

“cute”.

you haven't slept a wink all night.

the scene from the previous night replaying in your mind along with haenul's damned words like a broken record.

no. you do not want to fuck dong sicheng.

this is what you've been repeating in your mind since the moment you got up from your bed until the entire drive to the studio.

he's a bad kisser.

he's terrible.

that was the worst kiss you've ever had.

learning how to kiss with an orange would be better than this.

that's what you repeated in your mind as he kissed you again, but this time in front of the cameras. and you still had to tell yourself that it was your character who was enjoying it, not you. you definitely don't want to take him to a secluded place and make out until your mouth are sore. no.

"and... cut!" the director's voice rang out, followed by a chorus of applause. everyone on set was thrilled with how effortlessly the scene had come together, a stark contrast to the tension-filled atmosphere that had enveloped it lately. the air was charged with positivity, making it clear that this was the best mood the set had experienced since the project's inception.

despite the apparent positive change in the atmosphere, it was clear that there was something... different going on, for lack of a better word, between you and sicheng.

suddenly, you weren't bickering anymore and were even being uncharacteristically polite, thanking and apologizing for the smallest minor matters, which wasn't like your usual self at all.

everyone noticed this, but decided to just accept it as a positive development in the co-workers' feelings between you. at least, it was better than all that tension from before.

as haenul handed you a bottle of water, her words echoed with admiration. "wow," she exclaimed, "that was like, the best kiss scene i’ve ever seen in my entire life.”

“oh, really?” you laughed a little awkwardly, your eyes briefly darted towards sicheng, who stood on the opposite side of the room. as your gaze met his, you hastily averted your eyes, taking a sip of water.

"of course! this episode will be an absolute banger; everyone has been waiting for this!" she nodded fiercely and continued. "i've been checking the social media, and..." her words were met with your inattentiveness, as if your mind was preoccupied elsewhere. "and you're not listening to me!" she furrowed.

"oh, sorry about that," you shook your head, snapping back to attention. "i got distracted for a moment. you were saying…?”

haenul's eyes narrowed as she scrutinized you momentarily, following your gaze to where sicheng stood on the other side of the room.

"did you and sicheng finally hook up last night?"

you nearly choked on your water, coughing as you fumbled with the bottle in your hand. your assistant quickly patted your back, trying to help you recover.

once you were fine again, you glanced around nervously to check if anyone had overheard, then turned back to haenul with a sharp glare.

“can you stop blurting stuff like that?!” you hissed at her.

haenul gasped dramatically. “oh my god! you totally did it!”

“i did not!” you snapped, lightly smacking her arm.

“but something happened between you two!” she insisted, her voice dropping to a whisper, just loud enough for you to hear after the scolding. “you’re acting all weird around him. if it wasn’t sex, then what was it?”

“is that seriously the only reason you can think of?” you replied, your tone edged with disbelief. “when did you turn into such a pervert?”

“i mean, you were obviously kissing for real earlier, and now we’re finishing the day without your usual sulking. after spending the night alone with him, what else am i supposed to think?”

you frowned at her explanation. “well, maybe that we’ve become, i don’t know… friends?” haneul looked at you as if you’d just told her the funniest joke she’d ever heard. “pff. yeah, right. friends. sure,” she said, shaking her head.

before you could even attempt to explain that she was partially wrong, everyone’s attention shifted to the director as she clapped her hands to speak.

“since we’ve successfully wrapped up the first part of our series — thanks to everyone here in the studio who made it happen, especially our two stars,” she gestured toward you and sicheng, “doesn’t this call for a celebration? drinks on me for everyone!”

her words were met with cheers from the crew, and even you felt a sense of relief. a good dose of alcohol might help clear your mind, especially since you knew sicheng wasn’t exactly a fan of these kinds of social gatherings.

“we’re going, right, boss?” haneul asked, clasping her hands together in mock prayer. “please, please, it’s the weekend!”

“yes, haneul, we are,” you said, rolling your eyes with a chuckle. “but don’t overdo it, okay? i’m not in the mood to hear you sobbing your heart out while singing sad songs on karaoke again.”

“yes, boss! I’ll treat it like a work meeting,” she replied with a playful salute. “i’ll grab your things so we can head out!” she added enthusiastically before dashing out of sight.

you took a deep breath, relishing the brief moment of solitude. sometimes, it felt hard to breathe with haneul’s constant energy. she could be... intense. but the peace didn’t last long.

“i didn’t know you drink,” sicheng’s voice came from behind, making you turn to face him. “you used to hate the taste of alcohol.”

honestly, you were tired of seeing his face and hearing his voice more than usual. you didn’t like the way it made you feel, not after what happened. it was as if you were suddenly too aware of the strange, tangled emotions brewing inside you.

“well, a lot has changed since our younger days,” you shrugged, your voice casual. you didn’t feel like diving into it any further. “now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s time to socialize,” you said, turning on your heels, eager to escape the uncomfortable moment.

“i agree. let’s not keep them waiting,” he replied, his footsteps closing in behind you. you froze in your tracks, his sudden presence unsettling.

“you’re coming too?” you asked, confused.

“of course,” he said with a soft chuckle. “you heard the director, can't have the stars missing out."

“but… you don’t like social events,” you said, your tone almost questioning, as if you were trying to figure him out.

“well,” he said with a small smile, “a lot has changed since our younger days.”

it was awful.

you had been hoping for some space from sicheng, but it seemed like life had other plans. you tried to find a seat as far away from him as possible, but he followed, completely at ease, as if he had no intention of leaving your side. and of course, the table quickly filled up, leaving you both sitting side by side, while you anxiously awaited the drinks.

the mood at the table was light, everyone chatting away. haneul took a seat on the other side, eager to be closer to the staff she was interested in, which meant you wouldn’t be on her radar for a while.

you turned your attention to sicheng as he exchanged a few words with the director, and suddenly, it hit you: why were you freaking out about him? it was just a kiss. a brief, heated moment between two adults that didn’t mean a thing. there was no reason for you to keep acting so weird about it all day. after all, he was still sicheng, your rival. you just happened to kiss him.

sure, a few other things almost happened, too, but... it didn’t mean anything. you were just practicing, after all. yeah. you weren’t affected by it. not even a little. mhm.

you couldn’t help but smile to yourself as you made these sharp observations, feeling a bit more at ease.

“why are you looking at me like that?” sicheng raised an eyebrow, noticing the way you were smiling at him, as if you were staring at someone who’d just failed a basic math test.

“nothing, it’s just too much for your mind to handle,” you waved your hand dismissively, taking a sip of your drink that had just arrived. your words, along with the casual shrug, made him smile and shake his head.

“oh, i’m actually curious about something,” one of the co-actors began, snapping his fingers at you and the man beside you. “do you two really know each other from high school?"

sicheng’s face lit up at the question, clearly happy. then he looked at you, who wasn’t exactly sharing his enthusiasm, and his smile grew even wider. “yes! yes, we do. we were inseparable back then.”

you furrowed your brows at his words. “you mean you followed me around.”

“isn’t that basically the same thing?”

“it’s not."

“anyways,” he shrugged, “it was because of her that I started to get into theater.”

“and i’ve been regretting that ever since,” you added with a smirk.

a few giggles spread through the table at your playful banter, the lighthearted atmosphere catching everyone off guard. it was clear they were starting to see you both in a new light.

“so, all this time you were actually friends? and here we thought you didn’t get along when it’s just your way of showing friendship,” one colleague commented, raising a curious eyebrow.

“no, that’s not—”

“right? that explains why they have such great chemistry!” another colleague cut you off. “i mean, the kiss scene? that must’ve been awkward with a friend, but it probably makes it easier too, doesn’t it?”

“oh, it’s not that,” sicheng began. “it’s because last night we—”

a loud thud echoed as sicheng’s knee slammed into the table, his words cut off mid-sentence. he turned to you, confused, after you had stomped on his foot under the table.

“oops, how clumsy of me,” you said with a saccharine smile, your voice light but your eyes burning into his. “sorry about that.”

he blinked, clearly perplexed, but nodded slowly and turned back to the group. “anyway, as i was saying, we had a—”

this time, you pressed your heel down on his foot with deliberate force. he hissed in pain, snapping his head back toward you. but you didn’t even flinch, your gaze fixed ahead as if you were entirely innocent.

he narrowed his eyes slightly, then leaned closer, sliding a hand onto your thigh. His grip was firm, not enough to hurt, but enough to stop you from trying anything else. the sudden contact made you tense, and your head snapped toward him, your wide, confused eyes locking with his.

“we just had a little talk and came to an agreement,” he said smoothly, his voice calm and convincing.

“oh, that makes sense,” one of your colleagues hummed, nodding as if it all clicked. “that’s why everything worked out so well in the end. you should have done it since the beginning tho!”

sicheng’s words were deliberate, as if he’d sensed your discomfort from the start and had chosen his lie to protect the fragile truth you wanted to hide. but you couldn’t even focus on what he was saying anymore.

your mind was too preoccupied with his hand placement. his thumb was now tracing slow, deliberate circles on your thigh, hidden under the table. your stomach tightened at the warmth spreading through you, that annoying, fluttery feeling you wished you could suppress.

without a word, you picked up your drink and took a long, steady sip, as if the alcohol could somehow cool the heat in your chest.

god, this was going to be a long night.

oh, you were right.

after managing to wrangle sicheng into the passenger seat of your car, you slammed the door shut and made your way to the driver’s side.

sliding into your seat, you shot him an annoyed look, letting out a long, exasperated sigh.

driving a drunk sicheng home was definitely not part of your plans for the night. but somehow, the crew had unanimously decided to throw him at you because, apparently, the two of you were now best friends. all because you shared some ancient history, and probably because he’d grown unusually clingy after a few too many drinks.

you tried to refuse, insisted that you didn’t want to be responsible for him, but they’d waved you off with the ultimate argument: you were the only one who knew his address.

fantastic.

“you stupid idiot,” you hissed, leaning over to fasten his seatbelt. “if you can’t handle alcohol, why did you even come?”

his eyes, half-closed and heavy with sleep, fluttered open as he turned his head toward you. “because you were coming too,” he slurred, his voice barely above a whisper. “i wanted to be with you.”

you froze, his words catching you completely off guard. your surprised gaze met his drunken one, and you hated how fast your heart was racing. this was absurd.

a small, lazy smile tugged at his lips as he murmured your name, so soft it almost sounded tender.

“you’re so pretty,” he mumbled, his head lolling slightly as he leaned closer. “i want to kiss you.”

to say you were malfunctioning from all this sudden talk was an understatement. the way he said it — soft, unguarded — made it far too tempting to close the small gap between you. for a split second, you almost gave in again. almost.

but with a sharp shake of your head, you snapped yourself out of it. instead of letting your lips meet his, you shoved your hand against his mouth and pushed him back firmly.

“as if i’d do something like that,” you scoffed, leaning back into your seat and starting the car.

from the corner of your eye, you caught the way he pouted, looking like a sulky child.

“you’re always so mean to me,” he mumbled, his voice muffled but unmistakably petulant.

“it’s your fault for being like that,” you shot back, your eyes fixed firmly on the road ahead. “now shut up. i can’t focus on driving with your annoying voice in my head.”

“yes, ma’am,” he murmured softly, his tone almost obedient. he didn’t even try to argue, instead leaning back against the seat and drifting off to sleep. the car fell into silence, broken only by the steady rhythm of his breathing and the erratic pounding of your heart.

“god, i must be crazy,” you muttered under your breath, gripping the steering wheel tighter as if it could steady your own thoughts.

the peaceful silence during the drive to his house was doing wonders to calm your racing thoughts and your heart. you kept repeating to yourself that he was just drunk, that his words didn’t mean anything. even you, who hadn’t had much to drink, were clearly feeling the effects of the alcohol.

that was the only explanation you could cling to, the only thing that brought you any comfort in the moment.

a relieved sigh escaped your lips as you parked in front of his apartment. the street was quiet, the dim glow of the streetlights casting soft shadows over the building. turning to him, you called out in a firm, loud voice.

“we’re here. wake up.”

no reaction. not even a flinch.

“sicheng,” you tried again, leaning over to tap his shoulder. still nothing.

“come on,” you grumbled, grabbing his shoulder and giving him a light shake. “wake up!”

absolutely no response.

with a growing sense of irritation, you grabbed both of his shoulders and shook him with all the frustration of someone at the end of their rope. “WAKE UP!”

but it was pointless. he remained blissfully asleep, the alcohol rendering him completely oblivious. you let out a defeated sigh, releasing him as he slumped back into his seat, and pinched the bridge of your nose.

this night just kept getting better.

you couldn’t just leave him passed out on the street — though you seriously considered the idea for a good few seconds. but, in the end, you had no choice but to do something you absolutely didn’t want to do.

“dong sicheng, you better be ready for your death sentence tomorrow,” you muttered through gritted teeth, adjusting his limp body onto your back. he was surprisingly heavy, and you were giving it everything you had to carry him while he, of course, enjoyed the sleep of his life, his soft breaths tickling the back of your neck.

staggering inside the building as quickly as you could, you headed straight for the elevator. you only knew exactly where he lived because, back when you were hunting for a new apartment, you’d toured this building. of course, you’d had the misfortune of running into him that day. sicheng had happily joined your tour, turning it into his personal showcase of his apartment. at least it made it easy to cross this building off your list.

reaching the elevator, you pressed the button, only to stop cold when you noticed the maintenance notice taped to the door.

“you’ve got to be kidding me,” you groaned, staring at the sign like it might change its mind.

sicheng lived on the 11th floor.

this was going to be a nightmare.

to sum up the nigh, believe it or not, you actually climbed the stairs to the 11th floor with sicheng slumped over your back. every step felt like a herculean effort, but you kept telling yourself this was the fastest way to be rid of him.

when you finally reached his door, breathless and drenched in sweat, life decided to have one last laugh at your expense. a keypad lock blinked back at you mockingly.

you stared at it, utterly defeated.

after a moment of recovery, you tried every password you could think of: his birthday, his acting debut date, his mom’s birthday, even your birthday. nothing worked. each failed attempt pushed you closer to a breakdown.

which is how you ended up here: sicheng sprawled out comfortably on your bed, snoring softly, while you stood there, glaring at him with the fury of someone who had well and truly hit their limit.

getting mad wouldn’t do you any good right now. it wasn’t like you could argue with someone who was completely knocked out. all you could do was accept the situation and leave it for the morning, when he’d hopefully be conscious enough to face the consequences.

taking a deep, calming breath, you laid down beside him. there was no way you were sleeping on the couch. too uncomfortable. and besides, the only reason he was in your bed to begin with was because the living room felt like it was miles away, and you absolutely refused to carry him any farther than you already had.

so here you were, stuck sharing a bed with dong sicheng.

“unbelievable,” you muttered, turning your back to him as if that would help you ignore the fact that he was there at all.

but it didn't take long for you to turn to look him, letting your eyes linger on his sleeping face. his chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm, and his hair fell messily across his forehead, brushing against his soft features. you had to admit, he was ridiculously handsome. there was a princely air about him, something in the elegance of his delicate features that always seemed to catch your attention no matter how hard you tried to look away.

your gaze wandered, tracing the curve of his nose, the sharp line of his jaw, the faint lashes resting against his cheek. and then your eyes stopped on his lips, plump, rosy, and slightly parted.

you swallowed hard.

okay. maybe you wanted to kiss him again.

and maybe, just maybe, you could finally admit that the kiss had affected you far more than you’d been willing to let yourself believe.

your gaze drifted lower, trailing down the curve of his neck. the first few buttons of his crisp white shirt were undone, teasing you with a glimpse of his collarbone and the faint rise and fall of his chest. your eyes wandered further, catching on his hands, broad and elegant, resting lazily by his side.

your brows furrowed slightly as your mind betrayed you, flashing back to the feeling of those hands on your skin.

okay. maybe you wanted to fuck him too.

you quickly looked away, dragging a hand over your face before resting your arm across your eyes, as if that would block out the whirlwind of thoughts spiraling in your mind.

“god,” you muttered under your breath, “i must really be losing it.”

the shrill sound of your phone alarm jolted you awake, your face twisting in irritation as you blindly slapped around the bed. after a few failed attempts, your hand finally found the device buried under your pillow, and you silenced it with a hiss.

groaning, you kept your eyes shut and your head buried in the mattress, hoping to reclaim the comfort of sleep, but it was useless. letting out a defeated sigh, you blinked your eyes open and... froze.

the bed was empty.

you shot upright, the sudden absence snapping you fully awake. your eyes darted around the room, searching for any sign of life. nothing. quickly, you got up and began pacing through your house.

sicheng was gone.

“you stupid bastard,” you hissed, gritting your teeth as a wave of disbelief hit you. “i even carried his dead weight all night for him to leave without so much as a thank you?!” your fists clenched as you let out an incredulous scoff. “dong sicheng, you are so damned.”

a small, frustrated scream left your lips as you stomped toward the bathroom. a nice, scalding shower, it was the only thing that could save both your sanity and sicheng's life at this point.

but, contrary to what you imagined, the bath only cleared your mind enough to make you even more irritated with the situation. it was an affront, an insult! you were going to make sicheng pay for this humiliation! a great outrage! you could already see your hands wrapped around his neck and—

a knock on the door cut through your murderous thoughts. taking a deep breath, you walked over to open it, only for your eyes to widen at the sight of the man you’d been cursing standing there with that infuriating smile.

freshly dressed and looking nothing like the disaster he’d been before, sicheng radiated ease. but you couldn’t care less about his annoyingly perfect face right now.

“i’m gonna kill you with my own two hands, so get ready,” you growled, stalking closer with your fingers curled as if ready to strangle him.

“hey, hey, calm down,” he said, laughing softly as he caught your wrists in his hands, his touch warm and steady. his smile grew wider, completely unfazed by your murderous intent.

"are you seriously asking me to calm down?" you snapped, attempting to push forward again, but he held your wrists tighter, his grip firm yet gentle.

"i know you're mad," he said softly, leaning down to press a kiss to your wrist. the warmth of his lips brushing your skin sent a jolt through you, your resolve faltering. disoriented, you found yourself staring at him, momentarily forgetting why you were even angry. "and i'm here to apologize, of course," he added, his tone dripping with sincerity, though that playful glint in his eyes made you suspicious.

"i climbed up and down eleven floors with you on my back," you managed to say, your voice carrying a hint of annoyance despite your disoriented state. his surprised expression told you everything: he didn’t remember half of what happened last night. "an 'i'm sorry' isn't enough to save your ass."

"i know," he nodded, resisting the urge to ask for a full recap. "which is why i already reserved a table for us at your favorite restaurant."

"what?" you blinked, confused. "how do you even know what my favorite restaurant is?"

"because i’m interested in you," he said, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. "any other reason would just be an excuse, don’t you think?"

your jaw nearly dropped. this was exactly what you liked and hated about him: he was always unapologetically sincere.

you stood there, at a loss for words, unsure of how to respond. but he, of course, didn't miss a beat and took your silence as an answer.

“then it’s settled!” he said with that all-too-confident smile. “let’s go.”

and once again, your silly heart betrayed you, too caught up in the moment to resist.

the place was near your house. it wasn’t anything extravagant, but it had its own charm. cozy, inviting, warm, it felt almost like a safe haven for you. a perfect find for your new place, tucked away from prying eyes.

“and that’s everything you put me through,” you finished recounting the events of last night to him, carefully omitting a few details, like the part where he said he wanted to kiss you or when you accidentally knocked his head on the door frame while trying to get him into your bedroom.

sicheng’s face turned a deep shade of red as he fanned himself with one hand, the other clutching his glass of water. he avoided your gaze for a moment, clearly embarrassed, before stealing a quick sip.

he only remembered bits and pieces of last night, but from what you described, it was worse than he had imagined. guilt settled heavily on his shoulders as he listened.

“i’m really so sorry,” he said, his voice soft and genuine, his wide, puppy-like eyes locking onto yours. “i’m not usually like this. i overdid it yesterday, and i caused you so much trouble. i’m sorry.”

you finished your meal, casually listening to his concerned words. honestly, seeing that guilty, almost childlike expression on his face was oddly satisfying. if you were being fair, dealing with him drunk wasn’t that bad, he was mostly well-behaved. but it was part of your nature to make a big deal out of things, especially when it came to him. besides, a free lunch at your favorite spot had done wonders to smooth over your irritation.

“you’re lucky i’m a very nice person,” you said, shrugging with a mock air of superiority. “i’ll accept all that and forgive you… this time.”

his shoulders relaxed, the tension visibly draining from his body. since the moment he woke up and found you sleeping soundly against his chest, he knew he had messed up. the guilt had weighed heavily on him, and he’d spent the entire morning running through a million different ways to make it up to you. seeing you willing to forgive him so easily was a relief he hadn’t expected.

“thank you,” he said softly, his gaze warm and sincere. “i promise i’ll be more careful next time.”

you raised an eyebrow, your tone teasing. “next time? you think there’s gonna be a next time?”

he laughed nervously, scratching the back of his neck. “okay, bad choice of words.”

you chuckled at his words, resting your chin on your palm as you leaned closer, a curious glint in your eyes.

“by the way,” you began casually, “you said a couple of funny things last night too.”

“hmm, really?” he raised his brows slightly, feigning ignorance while signaling the waiter for a dessert. “like what?”

“like going to the meeting just because i was going,” you replied, narrowing your eyes slightly, testing if his drunk words held any truth.

“oh, yeah,” he nodded nonchalantly, turning his attention back to you. “i heard you mention it, so i thought it’d be fun to tag along.”

“saying you're interested in me all of a sudden, still following me around like a lost puppy…” you trailed off, lips curling into a faint smirk. “do you have a crush on me or something?”

“what do you think?” he shot back, mimicking your posture as he leaned in, resting his chin on his palm, a teasing smile playing on his lips.

“you know it’s stupid to answer a question with another question, right?” you gave him a bored look, but your tone was far from serious. “but if you do like me, i can only assume you’re a masochist.”

his laughter bubbled up before he could stop it, bright and genuine “what? i’m not a masochist! where is that coming from?”

“well, I’m not exactly nice to you,” you shrugged, feigning indifference. “like, I kinda hate you, in case you haven’t noticed.”

“you do not hate me.”

“yes, i do?”

“no, you don’t.”

“yes, i do.”

“do you kiss everyone you hate?”

your smugness evaporated in an instant, replaced by embarrassment. “shut up,” you muttered, leaning back in your chair, refusing to meet his eyes as he grinned victoriously.

“now that this came up,” he tilted his head, studying you intently, “we never really talked about that, did we? you’ve been avoiding it all day, then i had that little… drunken incident, and we just never addressed it.”

“well, that’s because there’s nothing to talk about,” you shrugged, doing your best to sound casual and unaffected, even as your grip tightened slightly on your glass.

“hmm, is that so?” he clicked his tongue, a mischievous glint in his eyes as his tone turned teasing. “going through all that trouble to get me home safe, kissing me, sleeping all cuddled up on me… you know, i’m starting to think you’re the one who likes me.”

your head snapped toward him, eyes wide. “excuse me?”

“oh, don’t look so shocked,” he chuckled, leaning forward slightly, resting his chin on his hand again. “i mean, actions speak louder than words, don’t they? and your actions…” he trailed off, letting the implication hang in the air as his grin widened.

“first of all, and most importantly, i did not sleep cuddling you,” you said, your tone sharp as if he’d just told you the worst joke of the century.

“oh? but you did,” he replied smoothly, nodding with absolute confidence. “when i woke up, you were hugging me like i was your favorite teddy bear or something.”

“i would never—”

“oh, our dessert, finally!” he interrupted, his face lighting up as the waiter placed the sweet tart on the table. “it looks delicious,” he added, completely shifting gears, as if your denial wasn’t the least bit convincing.

“are you seriously gonna end things like that?” you asked, disbelief heavy in your voice.

“here, say ‘aah,’” he said, raising a spoonful of pie toward your mouth like it was the most natural thing in the world.

“i'm not doing it.”

“say aah.”

“i said i'm not.”

he didn’t budge, just kept looking at you with that infuriatingly cute and bright smile that you couldn’t seem to resist. with an exasperated sigh, you crossed your arms and rolled your eyes, turning your head away. but, of course, you leaned in slightly, opening your mouth just enough for him to slide the spoon past your lips.

your frown quickly softened into an expression of pure delight as the flavors burst on your tongue. the bittersweet tang of the strawberry, the velvety richness of the custard, and the flaky crust of the tart all mingled perfectly. you couldn’t help but sigh and hum in satisfaction. it was that good.

“now that’s a great reaction,” sicheng said, amusement dancing in his voice.

you raised a brow at him, narrowing your eyes slightly.

“besides the faces you make when you’re acting, this has to be one of the most charming expressions i’ve ever seen you make. and those little sounds you’re making? delightful,” he added with a teasing grin.

you nearly choked. “what is wrong with you?”

“i’m just being honest,” he chuckled, clearly enjoying your reaction. “i want to see it again,” he said, holding out the spoon toward you. “open your mouth for me.”

“…no.”

“oh, really?” he raised an eyebrow, his grin widening. “do you really not want to?”

you couldn’t help but think that maybe you were the one with something wrong, because before you even realized it, you silently opened your mouth again, earning a satisfied smirk from him.

“hmm, so greedy.”

“by the way,” you glanced at him, who was walking beside you as you both made your way to your place. “why did you go home so early?”

“why? were you upset that my face wasn’t the first thing you saw in the morning?”

“forget i ever asked anything and just die for all i care.”

sicheng laughed at your annoyed expression. “it’s nothing much,” he shrugged. “i just couldn’t take you on a date smelling like alcohol, right? i wanted to apologize in nice clothes, at least.”

“this was not a date,” you said quickly, hoping to shut him down.

“yes, it was.”

“don’t even start,” you lifted a hand to stop him from going any further, making him laugh once again.

“here we are, safe and sound,” he said as you both stopped in front of your door.

you cursed yourself when you suddenly felt a pang of disappointment at the thought of the moment with him coming to an end. you wouldn’t mind spending a little more time with him, to be honest…

“finally, this infernal time beside you is over,” your words were at odds with your feelings as you looked at him.

“whatever you say, sweetie,” he responded with a fond smile.

it should be illegal for someone to look at you like that, your chest tightening at the soft, affectionate smile he gave you. you hated it. hated how his gaze made everything inside you stir, how it made your heart skip a beat against your will. you wanted to be angry, to push him away, but all you could do was stand there, feeling something you didn’t want to feel.

“you’ll burn a hole into me if you keep staring like that,” he teased, tilting his chin slightly as if silently telling you to come inside, and only then would he head home.

you couldn’t quite understand what had gotten into you when you cupped his face and pulled him in for a kiss. you just wanted to feel his lips again, even if just for a moment, just one more time, that would be enough.

sicheng was caught off guard, but didn’t pull away, letting you lead. you froze, eyes wide, your gaze meeting his.

“i-i’m sorry,” you muttered, suddenly feeling foolish. why had you kissed him just like that?

as you tried to step back, his hands locked around you, holding you steady. he gripped your waist, his eyes burning with desire.

“if you cling to me like this, all i can do is kiss you,” his voice was low, soft. “and that’s fine… if all you want is kisses,” he gave you a meaningful look.

if only kisses were enough to throw your mind and body into disarray… maybe you were greedy, as he’d said, but you weren’t satisfied.

“i want more…” you whispered, barely audible.

that was all he needed to hear before pulling you into another kiss, his tongue urgently invading your mouth as you responded with equal intensity.

you fumbled with the door handle, trying to opem it, while sicheng pushed you inside, never breaking the kiss. he closed the door behind you, his hands guiding you toward your room without hesitation, already knowing the way.

you both nearly stumbled as you hurriedly kicked off your shoes, chuckling against each other's lips. With a quick movement, sicheng laid you down on your bed, his lips trailing kisses from your jaw down to your collarbone. his hands slipped under your shirt, gently caressing your skin.

"i can't believe we're doing this," you murmured, a soft whimper escaping you.

“i told you," he mumbled back, his lips sucking lightly on your skin, peppering the area with soft kisses to soothe you. “you like me.”

well, it's not like you're in any position to argue right now.

he wasted no time in pulling your shirt over your head, exposing your bare torso. “fuck, you're so hot,” he hissed, sucking on his bottom lip as he couldn't help but admire the sight of your hardened nipples, feeling his cock twitch inside his pants.

“stop staring and do something,” your needy voice snapped him out of his thoughts and he was quick to obey your words.

sicheng leaned down to wrap his lips around your breast, his warm, wet tongue swirling around your nipples and sucking hard. your toes curled at the sensation and you moaned softly as you closed your eyes, your fingers tangling in his hair.

as he continued his ministrations on your breasts, his hands found the waistband of your pants. you lifted your hips a little to help him pull them down along your lacy panties, kicking them to somewhere else.

you opened your eyes to look at him, feeling even wetter as you watched him sucking on your tits like he was having a feast. you held his face and made him release your breast, a soft 'pop' sound was heard as he pulled away, looking at you with half lidded eyes.

you shiver slightly as you feel the cool breeze hit your wet breasts, already missing the feeling of his warm tongue on you, but you really wanted to kiss him even more and that's exactly what you did as you pulled him up to attack his lips.

“you taste so good,” he groaned into your mouth, his hand caressing your inner thigh and squeezing it lightly to emphasize his words. his fingers moved up to find yoyr dripping pussy, sliding along your slit and coating his fingers with your juices. “so wet already, you were really waiting for this, huh?” he buried his face in your neck, smoothing your skin with kisses.

it was too embarrassing to admit it and it wasn't like you needed to since your body had been betraying you enough for quite some time now, so all you could do was move your hips down, trying to get his fingers inside you.

“oh, eager, aren’t we?” he teased, lifting his head to meet your gaze, his smirk growing as he noticed the way you bit your lip, your brows furrowed, and your breath coming in short, uneven gasps.

“please, don’t start teasing now,” you murmured, your voice soft but edged with a hint of urgency. you held back from saying anything too daring, not wanting to give him more fuel to prolong his playful torment.

he only chuckled softly, pressing a warm kiss to your cheek before capturing your lips again. this time, he didn’t hold back, finally giving you what you wanted.

a sharp intake of breath escaped your lips as he slid two fingers inside you, thrusting them steadily. he could feel your tight, warm heat clasping around his digits, letting him even more anxious to bury his cock deep inside you.

he began to rub soft circles on your clit with his thumb as he took your breast into his mouth again, the combined actions making you squirm beneath him and moan louder.

he curled and scissored his fingers inside you, soon feeling the way you clenched around them. "close already?" he asked as he raised his eyebrows, and your response was just a fierce nod followed by soft whimpers.

your confirmation made him withdraw his fingers and you whined almost in despair, feeling empty and unsatisfied as he wouldn't let you finish.

"calm down, princess," he lightly slapped your thigh. "i want you to cum on my cock, hm?" he kissed the tip of your nose as he finally got rid of his own clothes and quickly positioned himself between your legs. he collected some of your fluids to spread along his shaft, hard as a rock, twitching with need. "i'm gonna fill this pussy up so good,” he was as impatient as you, so he only teased your entrace with his tip and entered you slowly, grinding against your sensitive clit.

your hands gripped the sheets tightly as you felt him stretching you, filling up any remaining space in your pussy, while he groaned and closed his eyes, enjoying the way your pussy gripped him tightly as if it never wanted to let him go.

"god, you feel so good," he began to thrust his hips against your pelvis slowly, he could feel your tight heat enveloping him, pulling him deeper. one of his hands gripped your hip, holding you in place as he fucked you. "that's it, taking me so well," he encouraged, his pace slow and steady, letting you feel every inch of him.

he’s played with you a lot already, so it didn’t take long for you to feel your climax building again, and he seemed to notice it as he picked up the pace, leaning down to bury his face in your neck.

“cum for me, baby,” he bites you gently and pull away from your neck to watch your face, using his fingers to pinch your clit and bring you to the edge. wrapping your legs around his waist, your breath hitched in your throat as you clenched around him, feeling the knot in your stomach unravel as you creamed his cock.

he wasn’t that far behind you, the whole intense moment was enough to bring him to the edge too, he kept pounding into you and pulled out just in time to empty himself, covering your stomach with his release.

you looked so hot like that that he had to hold back the urge to bury himself inside you again immediately. he let a bit more of his weight press against you, his lips finding yours once more in a lingering kiss.

"okay," you murmured against his lips, slightly breathless, making him chuckle softly. "maybe I like you... just a little bit now."

"just a little?" he teased, nibbling your lower lip with a playful smirk. "didn't seem like 'just a little' to me."

you tilted your head, a mischievous glint in your eyes. "i think we need to try it all over again so i can decide for sure.”

[magnifythesun]

CCO Anthony Padilla and President Ian Hecox of Smosh

ooooooo let's goooo!

post writing notes: YAY OKAY IVE DONE IT!!! so i read this and immediately assumed you meant a business au and i for the life of me have not been able to think of what kind of business they would run in this fic SO it is "the company" and they make money and also have shareholders and they call their employees their "crew" and dont ask me any details i was unable to figure it out!! but i think this turned out pretty cute?? more angsty than i was anticipating but with comfort i promise.

also i stayed g rated since i wasn't sure what rating you were comfortable with but Company(TM) President Ian and CCO Anthony could get it on i think if anyone wants that in the future lmao, just don't expect any details on what the hell they're selling sorry lmao! also i know nothing about business

bonus points if you can spot the direct reference to the wikipedia article for the term CCO.

---

The responsibility of being in charge of the company weighed heavily on Ian. It had been at its worst when Anthony had left, the fear of driving the company into the ground, of not being a good enough leader, of failing to thrive without his right-hand man.

When Anthony had returned, it was like a breath of the freshest air. Although Ian maintained his position as President, Anthony taking the role of CCO was possibly the best business decision Ian had ever made. Anthony had always been best with the marketing and business strategy, with an eye for the best trends to get their company booming. A huge weight felt like it was moved off Ian's shoulders. He could just focus on the top-level stuff and taking care of his employees and leave the marketing, which Ian had always hated, to Anthony.

Still, this didn't mean Ian didn't get stressed anymore. Ian loved his work, but sometimes it became overwhelming, the way his mind spun around, worrying about the whether he'd assigned the right person to the right project, whether his employees were happy, and so forth. Over the course of each work week, the panic would build up inside, setting him on edge until he would lie awake at night, staring up at his bedroom ceiling as his mind flew.

Reprieve came from an unexpected corner.

There was a routine now. At the end of the work week, there was always a meeting, and he and Anthony would attend. Ian would mostly listen, too stressed and sleep-deprived to think of any meaning contribution. Plus, Anthony was better at leading the meeting anyway, as it was mostly about that week's sales. Afterward, Anthony would talk him down from all his worries, and Ian would be able to breathe until the next week began. This week was no different.

At the end of the meeting, everyone filed out, excited to book it home for the weekend, leaving Ian and Anthony alone in the big meeting room. Ian let out a sigh, his shoulders sagging, letting the last shards of his confident facade crumble and fall. Anthony glanced over at him as he shuffled his papers back into order.

"You alright?" He asked this every week.

"You know me," Ian waved a hand dismissively, "I get in my head."

"You're too hard on yourself, man," Anthony tapped the papers on the desk with finality. "Didn't you hear anything I said just now? Our sales are up, stockholders happy, and we even get to give a big bonus to the whole 'crew,' just like you always talk about doing."

Ian shook his head like he could knock the words away, standing up to face the big window that was letting in the light of the late afternoon sun.

"This year is going great, Ian! Why won't you let yourself celebrate this success that we've built?"

Anthony sounded tired. Ian couldn't blame him. They'd had this conversation every week for the last six months. However, this time, Anthony's words just couldn't shake the dread inside him.

This year, things were going great. But it wasn't that long ago when it had been the whole company on Ian's shoulders, margins in the red, the heavy weight of responsibility for all of his people's livelihoods crushing him into the ground. What's to say this year's success wouldn't be short-lived? Was there already something he wasn't seeing, some sign of trouble to come?

And what if, when things got rough... What if Anthony...

A gentle warm grip on his wrist startled him out of his thoughts. Ian turned, surprised. They'd had this conversation a million times, but Anthony always talked him out of it, sitting over at the table while Ian paced out his anxieties. He'd never come to join him by the window, and certainly had never—

Anthony tugged him slightly so that they were facing each other directly, the sunlight filtering through Anthony's hair so that the light brown highlights he'd gotten sparkled. Ian, for a blessed moment, couldn't think of anything else at all. Then, Anthony's hands took his own.

"I," Anthony started, not seeming sure of himself, "I get this feeling. Every week, I reassure you about the company. About how we're doing. About how our 'crew' seems really happy about where we're at, how we're seeing success at levels we could barely dream of back when we first started this." Anthony paused, his face filled with such genuine worry that Ian felt the hot sting of guilt roil in his stomach. "But, Ian, telling you all that doesn't seem to help you for very long."

Ian sighed, looking off to the side. "I'm sorry, I don't know-"

"I think I do," Anthony cut him off, reaching up to grab his shoulders instead. "Ian, I don't even know if I can say this in a way that will fully convince you, but I—," He pushed through with growing confidence, "I'm not leaving this company again."

How did this man always see right through him?

"I'm not leaving you again," Anthony said, quieter, and Ian couldn't stop the tears that were coming to his eyes. "Ever. Do you understand?"

Ian reached up and swiped the tears away. "Yeah," He said, shakily.

"I'm not leaving." Anthony shook him slightly, the look in his eyes so serious that it began to chip away at the pit in Ian's stomach that had sat there for years.

"Right. Yeah," Ian nodded his head.

"I'm not. We're gonna be running this thing for years," Anthony smiled, "Into the ground if necessary."

Ian laughed, "Okay, okay. I believe you." And he actually did. Another, heavier weight that he hadn't realized he was still carrying felt like it was melting away. "Alright, good."

They stood there just a little too long, Anthony's hands warm on Ian's shoulders, the sun bringing out each delicate shade of brown in Anthony's eyes. And again, for a moment, Ian couldn't think about anything else.

"Right, so." Anthony let go and walked back over to the table. Ian took in a slow, deep breath and let it out as Anthony grabbed his papers and shoved them in his briefcase. "I don't know if you even realized with your President head so far above the clouds, but we just wrapped a fiscal year!"

Ian rolled his eyes. "Of course I know that."

"Just checking!" Anthony beamed at him. "So, wanna celebrate? How about soup at your place?"

That startled a sharp laugh out of Ian. "That's the biggest celebration you can think of?"

"Look," Anthony held up a haughty finger. "As your CCO, I think making soup tonight will allow us to achieve our long-term objectives."

Ian scoffed. "Yeah, your long-term objective to have me cook you soup," Ian said dryly, grabbing his own briefcase and heading toward the door.

"No, hey, hear me out!" Anthony followed him out. "I've got a whole pitch for it and everything!"

[about27th]

job hunt tipssssss (and lessons learnt..)

tailor your resume to each position you apply

(1) always make your employers' job easier

include only the relevant experience and keep the descriptions straightforward.. recruiters are basically just ticking boxes, make it easy for them to do so or expect them to bin your CV after a quick glance

(2) have too many part-time/work gaps?

i highly recommend using a skill-based CV than a chronological CV for this case; not only is it waaaaaaaaaay easier to prepare but also makes your experience look more put-together since you can mix & match your relevant skills.. give it a shot if you've inconsistent work history or want to have a career change; i should mention it's also a game changer for people whom English isn't the first language

(3) review your cover letter before heading to an interview

i mean you've already explained why you're a great fit for the job in the application, just take advantage of that effort and reiterate everything during the interview --- preparation done!

dont use the same answer for interviews

.. it'll definitely make you come across as average

there are 3 key and frequently asked questions you should be ready for:

(1) tell me about yourself

start with a basic introduction, followed by your previous work experience (again, making them relevant to the job) and wrap up with a glimpse of your personality -- for instance, say something like.. I see myself as an ambitious and self-motivated person (.. and how these qualities fit the job profile!)

(2) what do you know about us/ why do you want to work for us

always research the company; mention its values or services, and how they resonate with you

(3) what can you offer us/ why do you think you suit this job

highlight how your experience aligns with the job requirements; this demonstrates your dedication and preparation.. and also shows the employer what they can expect from you

i hate interviews (who doesnt?).. i believe many of us are very qualified for jobs we're interested in but often struggle to demonstrate our competence effectively; my way to make the process less agitating is to view it as a cool opportunity for employers to learn about us: it's not an exam.. rather, it's a level playing field where two or more strangers come together to mutually explore each other.

this is your chance (after putting so much effort into preparing the application) to shine and let them know you're the perfect fit for the job they're offering!

never trust the reaction of the interviewer!

some interviewers acted super affirmative to each of my responses, making me feel like i was nailing the interview.. but then i ended up getting no job; i understand the intention is to encourage interviewees during the process, but pls dont take them too seriously and get carried away

stay focused and humble instead

always reflect after each experience (exactly what i'm doing now)

it's important to reflect on your performance and seek improvement for future applications

i always discover areas that could be done better while preparing for new job applications, even though i felt that i'd already given my best for the last one

the competition is fierce but dont worry about competing with others (what you cant control); instead, concentrate on what you can control --- demonstrating how you're the best candidate!

always put yourself in your employer's shoes and do the homework; focus on the good and keep trying, one day all your hard work will pay off and get the job you deserve

.

(i regret so much that i didnt perform better during my interview🥲i dont want the same to happen to you, pls take my tips and prepare as much as you cn💔)

.

quick update - i actually ended up getting the job🤘

if someone like me, who struggles with English, can get a job in the UK after all the challenges, you can land the job you want too. trust the process - I believe in you!

[oklotea]

Tfw you're a forty year old man who's just trying his best and constantly never rewarded for it

Introducing... WEST

A 47 year old turf battle veteran with a heart of gold who joined the Underground Anarchy scene a few years ago because he needed a faster change of pace.

West is a much more level-headed and responsible figure compared to most UA players, he always keeps his cool against annoying players who purposely try to get on his nerves, and always make sure to let them know he won’t let them step all over him.

He's the kind of guy to stop fights, whether by peaceful or violent means.

Most people only know him inside UA. There's very little known about him on the outside. That makes him a bit intimidating from a regular bystander.

Some people will say he's really skilled! and look up to him.

Other people might say they hate his cool-headedness and that he's just a stick in the mud old man who doesn't know his place.

He's a pretty reliable teammate, frequently filling in the support role who paints turf and splats opponents from perches. But in any situation he's quite adaptable.

Under the cut is more information about West! If you decide to stop reading here that’s cool! Thanks for reading!

I’m quite sure i’ll be making more posts about West because i love him so much and there’s still a lot of things you dont know about him!

He belongs in the Underground Anarchy AU by @d15gu571ng !

cya later!!!!! :D

West was a pretty anxious kid, he started to participate in turf battles when he was 15, a year later than most squid kids because he wasn’t too sure of himself yet.

He fell in love with turf battling. It was a hobby he participated in as a way to escape his problems at home, and slowly but surely strengthen his confidence in himself.

He also got freakishly amazing at it, he was good at a lot of weapons but his main has always been his 96. Gal.

His favorite modes are rainmaker and splat zones.

Things were going great for West. He wanted to do this forever, it's what he loved to do, but good things don't last forever, that proved itself when West started to grow up past high school and people started to expect him to drop his enjoyment for turf war. He wasn’t a kid anymore, and it was time to face the real world like most adults in the city.

He fought back against this idea for a moment but he easily gave up, sadly. Just, the crushing reality was too painstakingly obvious. It was either do what he loved or... Be a disappointment.

AND NO! He couldn’t balance his hobby with his job! NO TURF WARS for ADULTS! What a childish idea!

So for 4 long, long years, he dedicated his life to learning how to become a pilot! It wasn’t as horrible as West expected! West has liked the idea of being a pilot for a while now and now he’s following that dream!

Eventually, turf wars were just a faded memory in the back of West’s mind. There were more important things to worry about, and thats okay!

West worked as a airline pilot for 9 years! During this time he made multiple friends, valuable life experiences, and! his husband (Beck) and wife (Tori) have conceived a daughter for the three of them! (Vida)

After their kid was born, West wanted to be a good dad, but because of his job, he unfortunately became a bit distant from his only daughter. I’ll make another post about West’s family.

After being a pilot for nearly 10 years, West decided to take a break from piloting because he felt extremely burnt out and far from his family. So he went home and now, he’s currently a stay-at-home dad! He’s reconnecting with his daughter (who’s 22 now) to make up for all the lost time between them. While Tori and Beck are the breadwinners for the family.

This was around the time West was finally given the opportunity to fully reminisce of his younger years (yeah he finally realizes how freakin old he is....He tries his best to cope) when he participated in turf wars throughout middle school and high school. And one random day, he invites one of his old aircrew friends, whom he knew once played turf war, to play rainmaker! On that day, West’s love for turf war which he thought had been dead for years, was lit back up.

It wasn’t a while until West realised that ordinary turf war, just couldn’t cut it for him anymore. He was constantly over-powering younger casual players, that he felt a bit bad. He was well-known locally as the weird old guy who is freakishly good at turf war, it’s annoying! Doesn’t he have somewhere else to be?

Yeah he got treated the same way he was treated all the way back then after high school. Bullied by children this time. It might not seem like it but this constant torment really gets to West sometimes. It’s a good thing he has his family to lean on for support.

He couldn’t take this treatment over and over again. If this continued he would jump off a cliff. He had to do something for himself. This was when he asked his daughter for a favor. Vida wasn’t a turf war enthusiast, but! She had a lot of young people friends who would know something about turf war he didn’t. He needed an entirely different turf scene. One where he might be accepted.

To be honest, West was expecting something like- a club of middle-aged turf war enthusiasts or- a splatoon that consists of some guys who wouldn’t judge him for being older. SOMETHING NORMAL.

VIDA’S WEIRD FRIENDS GOT HIM  INTO AN ILLEGAL TURF WAR RING.

He was a bit reluctant at first but decided, hey, he's even more intrigued than scared! He followed them to the area of the UA battle that evening and didn't know what to expect.

It proved that he was SEVERELY UNPREPARED. It was a big shock how elaborately modified most of the players' weapons were. How much more ruthless and unapologetic they were. But that was what West found so appealing. He just had one of the most adrenaline-fueled quick paced turf battles in his life. He wanted more of that.

Around a decade later, West has officially retired from being a pilot and is now a full-time househusband. He spends most of his days spending time with his friends and family, taking care of himself, working on random projects in his garage, just all-around enjoying himself, and battling it out in illegal underground turf war rings!

It was an up-hill battle but he eventually found his footing in this chaotic place. He’s way more confident and free-spirited than he’s ever been in his life, and couldn’t ask for anything different. Of course, there’s always going to be annoying people who won’t leave him alone til’ he leaves, but he can always get along in his life by ignoring them and confiding in his family.

He still has some personal insecurities but for now, he’s pretty content with where his life is.

THANK YOUUU!!!!!!!! HAVE GOOD MORNING/AFTERNOON/EVENING!!!!!!! SILLIES!!!!!

<3

[istherewifiinhell]

oh boy if theres any cover that could get my attention

[ID: Comic cover art by Mark Texeira, showing Spider-man swinging a web around Megatron, his arms bound to his chest. Spidey's in the black symbiote suit, other decepticons reacting to their tussle. END]

well anyway its not very good. marvel tf no 3, or 5-6 in uk, 1984, (despite the cover indicating january, it was in the fall)

alright lets go-- Writer: Jim Salicrup, Pencils: Frank Springer, Inks: Kim Demulder & Mike Esposito, Letters: Janice Chiang and Others*, Colour: Nelson Yomtov, Editor: Bob Buduansky, EiC: Jim Shooter Digital re-master by digikore studios limited. collection edits by Justin Eisinger and Alonzo Simon. editorial notes and assistance by Mark. W. Bellomo

* thats really how they credited it. not even the wiki list anyone else. what the fuck.

normally i strive for these posts to be ordered either in a way for comedy, or perhaps one that will give a gist of the plot. this one were just gonna try and get thru. okay?

robots... COMMENCE

[ID: Caption box: "--Or. While still inside him, witnessing Starscream's amazing transformation will!" Starscream lands from jet to bot mode, and says "Machines have been slaves on this backward world long enough!" He opens his cockpit, continuing "Today the roles are rightly reversed!" Sparkplug, who's hoisted up by the shirt goes "Ulp!" END]

always good to check in. okay. thanks starscream.

[ID: Sparkplug looks distressed, as Megatron looms behind. He's thinking "And these guys ain't any friendlier than my jailkeepers when i was a prisoner of war in Korea. Well, if that's the case…" and then says "My name's William Witwicky!Sergeant first class, United States Marines! Serial number--" Megatron picks him up by the foot, dangling him at head height. "Enough! You will cooperate or cease to exist!" END]

wha-. WILLIAM??? he was a POW in the KOREAN WAR. what the fuck. dont say that. dont say that ever again. anyway

[ID: Inside the Decepticon base, the cons standing around. Megatron speaks "Rumble…", who in response, twists his hand and replies "Whatever you say, boss!" Sparkplug standing on a small platform, thinks "These stooges'll do whatever the big cheese tells them!" Rumble holds his now unscrewed hand in the other, directing the energon spilling from his wrist into a oil drum. He says "Say "When" Scraplet!" Sparkplug replies "Er-- that's enough!" END]

i mean. yeah i think when ur saying. okay. ill do the science u kidnapped me for, but ill need some samples. ur not really expecting. that.

[ID: Autobots in alt mode, Optimus with his trailer open, says "Hound, Sideswipe, you're both low in fuel! Ride with me!" Sideswipe is driving up the trailer ramp and Hound responds "As you command, Optimus!" but thinks to himself "Wait 'til Doc Ratchet sees he has to patch up Sideswipe-- again!*" editors note: *see last issue-Bob. END]

hey look, play features. (i always love an editors note when theres less than 5 issues lol)

and introducing in this episodes special introduction

[ID: Full body of Ratchet, hands on hips. Notable, he looks more like a regular transformer, with a clear head and face, a blocky but still human layout of body. END]

the character models have been finished! good to see ya ratchet, hows having a body suiting ya? oh sorry were you looking for spiderman?

[ID: Caption box: "Soon, in a nearby secluded spot…" Peter Parker hides behind some rocks, looking toward a crowd on the other side. He thinks "I'll have a much better chance at photographing whatever's in that fortress as Spider- man!" and the symbiote suit starts to cover his body. "This costume's quite a time-saver! All I have to do is think about changing and it takes care of the rest!" He swings up to a tree thinking "If only I could solve all my problems as easily!" Editors note reads "This story takes place before spider-man #258." END]

im gonna level with you editors. i dont know what that means and i dont care.

[ID: Spidey is upside down, watching Gears transform, thinking "--I bet he's one of those robots returning to the nest!" Gears meanwhile thinks "How did i get stuck with this scouting mission? What do i care about these pesky little creatures?" He flies off, he continues musing "I've always suspected that Optimus Prime had a perverse sense of humor!" Spidey swings after him calling out "Hey! Hold on, big boy!--or as that funny lady on tv says, "Can we talk?" END]

spiderman can't u tell hes busy bitching about his job? all tho 10/10 first words to a transformers being hold on big boy.... me too man.

[ID: Caption box: Later, after extensive introductions and explanations… Spidey is hanging upside down over a congregation of Autobots in alt mode and remarks "I've fought alongside some weird characters in my career, Optimus--but this has to be a first!" Optimus replies "I am sure tales of your exploits would be interesting, Spider-man, but, for now, can you inform your military to step aside and allow us to deal with the Decepticons?" Spidey "Trust me--they'll never buy it coming from me! But i've got a plan!" END]

oh okay so were just. yeah okay were just gonna skip the interesting parts. no first meeting. okay. both of them: you seem cool but i havent read your comics. and also im not going to.

[ID: Caption Box: Meanwhile... Spidey and Gears scout out the Decepticon Base. Spidey, comically at length: We're in luck, Gears! With the army and your buddies keeping them busy out front, they're not guarding the back door! Of course, this sheer drop is enough to discourage most visitors--even traveling salesman-- but not your friendly out-of-town Spider-man! Gears thinks "This human reminds me of Bluestreak they both seem to love the sound of their own voice!" Spidey scales the cliff as Gears shoots up past him asking "Do all humans have powers like yours?" Spidey: Not since i checked last! I'd feel real foolish if they did! END]

does the bad text layout get a pass when its for a joke?

anyway give it up for the best three panels weve had all series

[ID: Spidey swinging around inside the base, Gears following, a door closing at the end of the hall. Spidey: They're trying to seal us in and i didn't even bring my overnight bag! He swings under the lowering bulkhead, calling out "See you later, big brother!" Gears simply bust thru the closed door saying "Not so fast! We're in this together, little one!" END]

wait what the fuck that was actually really cute. do that again, for a second there i thought i was reading good comics for a change

[ID: Spidey webbing up Megatron saying "Bazooka Joe's all tied up... Let's call a cab and split!" Gears is guiding Sparkplug away, who says "Remind me to thank that masked fella!" But Gears is thinking "This is worse than I expected! We don't have a chance against Megatron!" And calls out "Spider-man, hurry! We must--!" END]

Mf called him BAZOOKA JOE. alright. probably spiderman showing up after u were kidnapped by robits. not a big deal?

[ID: Caption box: Soon, after the other Autobots have disengaged from their battle with the Decepticons on the other side of the mountain… Autobots are standing over Gears, crumpled on the ground. One, Sunstreaker or Brawn, announces "That's the last piece-- we've collected all that's left of him!" Spidey is lowering down on a web asking "How can you all be so cold and unfeeling? He died a hero!" Sparkplug on the ground adds "Don't you even have mechanical hearts?" END]

lot of assuming "i know when robots are dead" from the humans here. hes fine. not that anyone even took the two seconds to say, "for us this is a recoverable injury he just needs the medic" lol. he waited until ratchet was actually. DOING that back at base. anyway. thats the crossover comic. its. not great. fine. maybe. OKAY BYE

[ID: Soundwave, heaving a massive piece of machinery over his head, and casually walking over a iron wrought fence that crunches under his feet. A guard shooting at him harmlessly and yelling "H-hey! Come back here with that!" And then thinks to himself "I'd quit this job if i wasn't so close to retirement! END]

(demastered edit. PURPLEWAVE YOU WILL LIVE ON IN OUR HEARTS AND MINDS)

[twooowars]

if there is a hell i KNOW my father in law is going there when he dies. where the fuck do i even begin? this story will just Have to exclude little details. there is so very very much and it's been transpiring over the course of a few years.

so this dude is a manipulative, abusive, useless, garbage piece of shit whose gaslighting bullshit started decades ago. i won't go too in depth on this part bc i dont want to overshare someone else's information but there will be parts of this story where you may think jesus christ, how is this still going on? buddy i ask myself the same kinds of questions but let ye who has a healthy relationship with your parents cast the first stone. the context needed to have sympathy here is that this is a Long LONG complex situation that we're talking about. for a Bit if background, my partner didnt see or hear from his father between 2015 and 2019. so. take that as you will going forward.

it started about 3 years ago when a series of careless decisions left Me (somehow one of the most level-headed people involved!!!!! if you can imagine!!!!!!!) in possession of literal decades worth of my father in law's hoarded shit. being a hoarder is not a moral failing, but deciding to get rid of the stuff and pawning it all off on your son and his partner is Annoying to say the very fucking least. this was obnoxious but i thought At Most that it was a shitty but temporary situation.

WRONG

he expected us to hold on to it until he was ready to have it back. my partner being Too Patient and Honestly The Real Victim Here for having this man as a father chose to honour this wish. as you can imagine this inch became a mile quickly.

he started demanding to crash on the couch, threatening suicide and claiming domestic violence and things of that nature. i cant confirm or deny the domestic violence allegations but i will say that he has made these claims everywhere he has ever lived. this turned very quickly into him manipulating my partner into letting him move in with us. i knew it would go horribly but my hands were sort of tied (knew FIL could and would use any excuse to isolate partner from his loved ones so ive been treading the Bad Guy line very carefully here). i should also point out that FIL's girlfriend at the time was His Perfect Equal in every way and so my partner was biased towards hating her more, as she was someone he had just met.

immediately i had problems living with him. i have Always hated him because he used to misgender me constantly, so i should state this bias now. he seems to view me through a lens that is transphobic, homophobic and misogynistic all at once - that is to say, he believes i should be responsible for all the housework, and that i should listen to his every word and meet his every demand without complaint. it started out with him talking at me Constantly. i don't mean we were conversing, i mean that this man would sit behind me while i did chores and tell stories about pranks he used to pull in the 80s all day, getting annoyed if i tried to change the topic. throughout the course of these stories it became constantly clearer and clearer to me that he was absolutely an irredeemable piece of shit. to put it bluntly, almost all his stories put him in a bad light and he didnt seem to realise at all. he started to get really annoyed with me in general for not laughing at his bullshit, challenging his constant use of racial slurs, and not appreciating the homophobic comments he made about me on a daily basis. (i know you read "homophobic" and "use of slurs" and now you have a burning question, so i will answer; yes he Does call me a faggot). he quickly became my number 1 sworn enemy. to be extremely clear, yes, the fact that he is sitting and watching housework be done does mean he doesnt do any himself. he has outright stated that he thinks i should be obligated to take care of him. we'll return to this point. fucking trust me.

by this point in the story you're wondering why my partner has not kicked him out of the house. i KNOW. but it does become more complicated when you realise that at the time my partner was working 11 hour shifts every day and FIL was a completely different guy around him. still obnoxious and a bit arrogant, but nowhere near the human waste i had come to know. it started to get to the point where i was furiously angry at this dude 24/7 but my partner had never seen him do more than make an out of touch joke. this is the part where i say something vague about how i have mental health issues that i dont want to air out, but suffice to say that making me look paranoid and reactive is Not a hard task.

one night while i was doing dishes, i stopped to use the bathroom and FIL broke 3 of my wine glasses while i was gone. a gigantic fight ensued where he attempted to convince me i had actually broken them myself and my partner walked in on this happening. this is when i first thought the tides would turn and things would get better. partner atarted to see the issues but wanted to give him the chance to change. at this point he is still under the impression that his dad is someone who is perpetually down on his luck, who has had a difficult life and has been mistreated by everyone around him. basically is treating him like a shelter dog who is lashing out but still good at heart. he hasnt heard the same stories yet as i have of the guy who has had everything in his life handed to him for free, but is such a dickhead that he has fucked over everyone who ever tried to help him and fucked himself doubly in the process. after a certain point it started to wear on our ability to spend time together when i was constantly complaining about his dad instead of talking to him about literally anything else, so i honestly started to carry this on my own for a bit.

anyway, it becomes one of those "sit him down" situations. to remind you, this is a borderline senior citizen and not a toddler. they set out a timeline for him to stop drinking so heavily (alcoholism is also not a moral failing but it does have consequences for the people around you, so i get why he thought this would help) and as it became more and more obvious to my partner that his dad was not actually aiming to reach Any of these goals and had Zero respect for his boundaries, we set up our own little secret timeline for me to get a job so we could afford to move again. (i do have a job rn but i am often unemployed due to uhhh Obvious Reasons). so, things are going well yes? the veneer is cracking, he is proving himself selfish and unreliable. this should be about where it ends, yes?

WRONG

MIL passed extremely suddenly last july. the relationship there is somehow even more complex than this one so i won't even go into it, but we'll just say that this Fucked my partner up mentally very badly. he had a lot of trauma open back up and suddenly became very invested in fixing his relationships with his family members. i have never had to process grief on this level so i cant judge it. he decided to give his dad one more chance and for a little while i tried to be cool with this.

the relationship between FIL and i continued to deteriorate. after the wine glass fiasco i literally have refused to speak to him. this has not changed in about a year. i Hate this man more than i can say and my life is better for not interacting with him. i digress. me ignoring him becomes very Very contentious around the house, again it seems like i am the one Causing the majority of household tension because i am the most reactive to it. this sucks shit but is usually how things go when you are prone to being overemotional. a massive argument ensues between my partner and i where we eventually come to the decision that i will move out for a few months until our lease naturally ends. we obviously didnt break up or i would have referred to him as my ex at some point but i knew removing the buffer would make him see that his dad is a pure shithead. i dont know where else to interject this but the dude has also stolen a total of 26 full packs of cigarettes from me and this alone warrants the death penalty.

so. let's talk about the last 5 months, shall we?

turns out this dude was somehow putting on airs on my behalf. all of his behaviour immediately got more extreme because he felt like he had won. the buzzkill faggot (his words) was gone and he could really cut loose. cutting loose involved such choices as

leaving strangers in the house unattended for hours, resulting in theft on multiple occasions totalling thousands

physically removing important pieces from the shower (the knobs, mainly) whenever i visit and forgetting where he's hidden them so that no one can shower for days

continuing to refuse housework despite the fact there is one less person in the house now to help out and the house is in a neighbourhood with roaches

smoking in the house (we have a pet)

allowing strangers to smoke meth in the house (once again smoking meth is not a moral failing but to reiterate we do have a pet and she is just Two Inch Large)

turning heaters off and even opening windows in the dead of winter (i cant see this one as anything but an outright attempt to kill the mouse as even he ends up walking around in a coat and hat inside when he does this)

taking my partner's food out of the freezer and leaving it out on the counters all day long to replace it with his own shit (which he will not eat, he eats out every day because he cant cook)

tripling down on the racist shit

... and more!

not only did he do all of these things but at some point he has managed to blame every single one of these actions on me. he literally outright said that he doesn't do housework because i should be coming over and doing it. to be clear I HAVE BEEN STAYING WITH FRIENDS AND RELATIVES FOR THE PAST 6 MONTHS. at this point youre Really thinking "you've kicked him out, right?" and im pleased to report that we have. but the story is still not over because the cockroach refuses to die and the entire house is filled with his shit. (remember his shit from the beginning? yeah.) he has been given a firm date he Has to leave by but until then we're still dealing with this nightmare human (in my opinion, we should have just thrown his shit to the side of the road, but im trying to be Calm Guy lately). he's reacting to being kicked out by throwing a number of temper tantrums each day, making sure his schedule is Unknowable, and insulting everyone around him at every possible opportunity. also, doing all the same shit that everyone has been mad at him for for decades and continuing somehow to blame it on Me.

so, where does this leave us? well, at the moment we are trying to finalize our next steps. we do actually have a bit longer on this lease than we've led him to believe, so we have until the fall to sort this out. to be honest it is much easier and calmer knowing that i dont have to consider this horrible man or his shit this time. as for where he's going to put it all, i don't know and i dont care. if he chooses to leave without taking it and ditch it all on us, in our neighbourhood i promise you it will all last 3 hours max on the roadside.

im annoyed, angry, and frustrated that all of this happened. but moreso than anything i am so fucking pleased to say that i think i am Finally rid of my father in law. praise be to the unknown cyber being.

there is more to this story, more details of provable lies he's told, more offensive obnoxious and downright horrible shit he has said to me and about me as well as to and about others, the kleptomania, the fact that he has been trying to make me act as his secretary in addition to all of this and file government paperwork on his behalf, the fact he has been pretending he once slept with my mother since 1986, the list goes on so far and so deep that i couldnt possibly write it all down here. but, this is the abridged version of my personal nightmare in-law story. if you read it i hope you hate him as much as i do.

[nerdgirlriot]

work-related stuff i need to get off my chest on this extremely stressful Thanksgiving week and this occupying my brain and making it hard to sleep so...!

arrrrgghh two co-workers are saying they're going to leave if I don't step into a more leadership role in the department bc they hate one of our managers (whom I have a decent work relationship with)

sooooooooooooo the thing is that they've been at the store for a LOT longer than i have. They could've quit ANYTIME. In fact, another former co-worker quit because she couldn't stand the manager in question. I admit that he's not nice, but he gets shit done. Thanksgiving would fall apart without him running the entire thing.

I really dont' think these co-workers know how hard this manager works. They should consider themselves lucky that they don't have to get pulled into the kitchen to pack 100s of pounds of green beans for Thanksgiving meals. And now they're trying to guilt me into taking on more responsibility so they won't leave for another store

how about fucking hell no?

i don't give a shit that you hate this manager. This manager is just telling you to do your damn jobs. These two co-workers open the store so they've got 3 full hours before the store is open to customers and somehow they hardly EVER get any non-customer facing stuff done? how in the fuck? how fucking hard is it to just do what's fucking asked of you and not bitch at me that our manager is "mean" and an "asshole" for telling you to do your fucking jobs?

so our store closes one hour later on the two days before Thanksgiving and one of these co-workers told me that they're scheduled to come in at 6am instead of 5am and then the store opens at 7 so they only have 1 hour before the store opens. so one of them asks, "We only have 1 hour so what are we supposed to do?"

IDK YOUR FUCKING JOBS????????????????????????????????

So as a closer I get all my tasks done and ALSO I deal with customers? like...i do EVERYTHING asked of me and our manager isn't "mean" to me? also how in the fuck is me taking on more responsibility and more work and more stress going to help? Tell me how am I supposed to change this manager's mind when these co-workers have sorta proven over the course of 8+ years that they cannot (or will not) do all the work.

Threaten to leave? Then LEAVE. oh btw they also hated the previous team manager (for, guess what, giving them these same tasks and expecting them to DO THEM) and theywanted to leave before and guess what? They fucking didn't? Move to a different store? Good luck bc you're going to be asked to do the EXACT SAME THING (and maybe even more if the store is busier than ours). that's kinda the point of big store chains. Run all the stores the same and put the same expectations on them all. It's going to be the fucking same shit but you're going to be dealing with a whole new manager who is also probably still going to be "mean" and "an asshole". I fucking guarantee you that our leadership team is the most level-headed and accomodating of all our stores in the area. Source: I've interacted with most of them and a lot of them are more metrics-driven than ours. With them, you're going to have to meet quotas, while I know our managers are fine with doing your best, unless that means not doing anything.

so don't come to me with this shit story and guilt-trip me into doing shit I don't wanna do just cuz you won't do your fucking jobs.

it's two more days to Thanksgiving. No one should expect work to be a walk in the park during the holidays. And if you don't understand that get the fuck out of retail

rant over

[weekly-fandom-rambles]

MC crying over one of the brother’s insecurities/fears

Older Brother Scenarios

Bulletpoint writing seems to get me out of slumps, so have some~. Also, there's nothing overtly romantic in these. Just some MC angst and comfort from the demon bros. (Younger Brothers found here.)

CW: gn!mc (they/them), angst, hurt/comfort, crying, self-depreciation, traits that could be read as depressive, happy ends, not proofread

*Obey Me Masterlist*

Lucifer

Lucifer had been exceptionally proud of the human exchange student that was living with them.

They worked diligently on their studies and followed his rules to the best of their ability.

He would often find them still at their studies late into the night, sending them to bed himself.

That was if they hadn’t fallen asleep on their work, which happened more than either would like to admit.

That night he had planned to do the same routine.

That was until he heard an unfamiliar noise coming from their room.

He gently pushed open the cracked door to find their room lit solely by their desk lamp.

MC was there, sat at the table, head in their hands.

Crying.

Their labored breath caught in their throat, stifling quiet sobs, as tears fell onto the scattered papers beneath them.

Lucifer quietly made his way beside them, neither hiding nor announcing his presence.

MC seemed smaller and more vulnerable than he had ever seen them, their hunched shoulders shaking with the emotions that racked their body.

He scanned the area to see the source of their distress.

Opened textbooks and nearly finished assignments littered the surface.

And glowing above it all was their opened D.D.D., displaying a text exchange between MC, Mammon, and Asmodeus.

“MC, ya hardly hang out with me anymore. Cant ya go out with me n Asmo tonight?”

“Yeah MC. This party is supposed to be fabulous. You shouldn’t miss out!”

“Sorry guys. I don’t want to fall behind in my school work.”

“OK, but dont be complainin when we have all the fun.”

“You should ask Satan to help you next time. It’s more fun when you're there. *blowing kiss*”

Though the messages were time-stamped for hours ago, it was clear that this was somehow the source of their current sadness.

Making his move, Lucifer gently placed his hand on their shoulder.

They froze at his touch but slowly turned to look at him, wiping at their flow of tears.

Without a word, he drew them into an embrace and their sobs resumed once more.

They clung onto him like a frightened child and let their tears soak his shirt.

Lucifer knew they needed this.

Needed to purge their raw emotions before they could explain or work through anything.

So he simply held MC as they cried until their tears were spent.

When their crying began to subside, he lifted them away from their workspace and positioned the two to sit on the edge of their bed.

“MC, please let me know what is wrong. What has you so sad? I’ll do anything in my power to fix it.”

“I-it’s nothing. It’s my p-problem”

Their voice wavered and they looked away from the demon before them.

“I just can’t. I can’t do everything! I want to do so-so much but-but I can’t do it all! I-I want to be - to be perfect, but I can’t! I hate it!”

New tears washed their face as they sobbed their confession.

On some level, he knew.

Lucifer knew exactly what you meant.

He knew because deep down, he had that same fear.

He wanted to be reliable and dependable for Diavolo while being connected to his brothers in so many ways that he was not.

The line between responsible and available was tough, and Lucifer failed to walk it more times than he could count.

Once again he gently pulled them into a hug.

“MC…”

He gently pet their hair as they practically curled into his lap.

“Nobody here expects you to be perfect. And as much as you may want it, you can’t be. That’s something that makes you human. But being human is all that we ask of you.”

Lucifer tried his best to remain calm and comforting.

“We don’t expect you to excel at your studies, just that you put in an honest effort. But your studies aren’t the only aspect of the exchange program.”

They looked with red, watery eyes up to his own steady, ruby irises.

“You should also engage with our culture and enjoy everything it has to offer. It’s okay to go out and socialize and have fun sometimes.”

He squeezed them just a bit tighter.

“It would pain me if your stay was only filled with stress and sadness.”

They nodded into his chest.

At some point during his comfort, MC’s sobs had turned into steady silent tears.

But he continued to hold them all the same.

He only let go after they had finally exhausted themself and had fallen asleep in his arms.

Mammon

Mammon walked through the halls of RAD toward the classroom he knew MC was in.

He had asked them to wait for him to finish the student council meeting so they could walk home together.

He was tired from all the talking they had done, so when he opened the door it took him a moment to register that MC wasn’t there.

At least, not immediately.

Their school bag and supplies were still scattered across one of the desks, so they would be sure to come back soon.

Amongst the rif-raf was an overturned packet of paper.

Seeing as he had some time to kill, Mammon didn’t see anything wrong with looking at what was out in the open.

He turned it over to see the test that had been handed back that day in Devildom History.

He knew that MC had studied all last week in preparation, so he was shocked to see the grade circled in red at the top.

13/100

And in the professor’s scrawl beneath it said “See me after class.”

Whatever thoughts were starting to form in his mind were interrupted when MC walked back into the classroom.

Even from the distance where he was, Mamms could see the redness in their eyes.

The confused look on his face paired with him holding their test was all it took for tears to overtake MC’s features.

“MC, what’s wrong?”

They didn’t answer him, instead opting to hide from his gaze by hiding behind the instructor’s desk.

Mammon stumbled out of his seat and raced to the other side to see MC kneeling on the floor.

Their arms wrapped around their torso as their shoulders shook with silent sobs.

“MC, stand up. Talk to me.”

He tried his best to hide the panic that was creeping through his system.

Their tear-coated face looked up to the hand Mammon extended to them.

With their hand placed in his, Mammon pulled them swiftly into him, cradling them against his frame.

“Well, you don’t have to talk right now. It’s okay if you need to cry. I’ve got you.”

And seemingly at his words, MC became jelly in his hands, bawling into his chest as he held the back of their head.

He didn’t care how long he had to stand there, for Mammon would be there for all of eternity to show MC that they were safe with him.

MC gently pushed away as their tears began to slow.

“Thank you, Mammon. I just… I… I tried. I tried my hardest and I still failed. I’m a failure. Just a disappointment.”

The hands that pushed him away moments ago gripped fiercely onto his shirt.

“I can’t keep up with Lucifer’s, or Diavolo’s, or anyone’s expectations. I’m just… useless.”

With those words, Mammon’s heart shattered.

How could these poisonous words come from his favorite human?

The words that echoed in his own head more times than he could count finally, truly wounded him when they were directed back at MC.

His hands cupped their face and made them look into his golden-blue eyes, even as tears began to fall on his face.

“Don’t. Just…how… how could you think that? You are… You…”

He pulled MC back into him, resting his head on their shoulder.

“If you did your best, that’s all you can do. That’s more than most people can say.”

His own tears stained MC’s shirt.

“You aren’t useless, or a disappointment, or a failure. You are so precious. To Luci, and Diavolo, and Me. We could never be disappointed in you.”

Whether he was telling these words for them or himself, it didn’t matter as the grip each had on the other tightened until they were both a ball of heartfelt sobs.

When the two finally cried themselves out, Mamms helped them gather their things to walk back home.

Leviathan

Leviathan knocked softly on MC’s door.

He wanted to invite them to his room to watch season one of the anime The Fairytail Pretty Boy is Actually a Secret Villain who Rules the School!!! in preparation for the second season that premiered tomorrow.

When he didn’t get a response he poked his head in through the cracked door to see if they were busy or wearing headphones.

Levi didn’t see MC, but he heard the sink running in their bathroom suite.

He made himself comfortable on their bed and waited for them to finish whatever they were doing in there.

He pulled out his D.D.D. to grind a round or two of the current raid event in Mononoke Land.

It wasn’t until Levi realized that he had been waiting for well over 10 minutes that a pit of worry grew in his stomach.

What if MC left the tap running, or they got injured, or worse.

Despite all of his otaku instincts telling him it was a bad idea, he once again knocked to see if MC was there.

After a moment without response, he announced his entrance into the bathroom.

Opening the door, he was greeted with the scared expression of MC sitting in the empty bathtub.

They were wearing the headphones he had gifted them, but their clothes and face were splashed with water.

No. Not water.

Tears.

MC had been blocking out everything around them and was crying.

After the realization dawned on him, Leviathan closed the door behind him and went to turn off the faucet.

He then slumped against the outside of the bathtub, not looking at MC.

There was a shuffle and sniffle behind him.

“Levi I-”

“It’s okay MC. You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to. Just… don’t send me away.”

He wouldn’t say it, but he was worried about them.

Really worried about them.

What would make them want to hole themself away from the world like…

…like him.

There was another shift in the tub and Levi felt MC put their head against his, sitting practically back to back.

“Levi… I-I just needed to get away from it. From the exchange program… The Devildom… Everything.”

He could feel their breath hitch behind him.

“I-I don’t belong here. I’m *hic* I’m too different. From everyone. I don’t fit in here.”

They drew away from him, likely curling into themself.

The thought chilled Leviathan.

He knew the feeling.

He had felt like that so many times before.

Of being other to those who were around.

The feeling that no one understood him, even if they tried.

The only reason he hadn’t felt that way recently was because of MC.

Because MC didn’t try to fully understand him; they just accepted him as he was.

Now was the time he had to return that kindness.

He moved from his slouched position to lean his side against the bath, draping his arm along the edge and staring at MC’s huddled, shaking body.

“I… I know I’m not good at saying it, but, MC, you do belong here.”

Levi closed his eyes.

“You bring so much joy to our lives… to my life… you listen to me when I rant about my anime a-and you talk to me about your passions too. That’s why we’re best friends. Why you’re my Henry. So, you can’t be all that different from us, right?”

It wasn’t until he felt a grip on his hand that he opened his eyes and looked at them.

Beneath their tears and the free hand that struggled to push them away, MC gave a small smile.

“Thanks, Levi. My Lord of Shadows a-always knows how to cheer me up.”

It was then, with that heartfelt line, that his otaku meter finally bust.

Levi could feel the raging blush spread across his face and he wanted to curl up and hide.

However, the soft hold of MC’s hand was enough to keep him there, just to comfort them.

[dakotafinely]

heyyy !! i saw ur reqs were open and im literally about to binge everything youve written- and i hope whatever happened you’re okay now !!

im so sorry if you dont take x readers but may i request the rise turtles (separately ofc) with a reader who says the corniest, cheesiest, mind numbingly stupid pick up lines

like they think they’re safe until the reader starts spewing pick up lines at the most random moments

thank you if u decide to write this !!

Poiuhgfghjkjhnbghui hello! Thanks, the thing happened months ago I'm just super slow at responding to things oiujhjolkjh but still thanks! I hope you enjoy your reading binge!

I don't really do a lot of X Reader requests (mostly because I don't get that many) but I assure you I'm never opposed to them! Plus how can I resist such an idea, as a corny cheesy dork myself I must represent all the corny cheesy dorks out there!

== == ==

Leo:

Say what you wish but this man is already a corny cheesy pun master

I mean have you HEARD his puns? He is a man of the corn(y lines)

So he's actually very good at matching your energy most of the time

Heck sometimes he can even guess what you're gonna say before you get to even say it

Tho sometimes, in the moments where he truly doesn't expect it, you can get him red as a tomato

Honestly, why do you think he likes to use cheesy and corny pick up lines? Because he's a romantic little sap who wants someone to match his energy and romance him that's why

He'll cover his face and smile wide when he blushes hard

"Ya can't just catch me off guard like that you know?" He jokes

Bc truly, he adores it that you can keep him on his toes and guessing sometimes

Donnie

Complete opposite of Leo, but are we surprised by this?

Either it goes over his head by taking whatever you said literally (which you find adorkable let's be real)

Or he rolls his eyes and tells you you're a sap

But if you stop? If you stop bc you believe your annoying him or you've had a bad day and don't wanna deal with his reactions?

"Are you okay? What's wrong, you haven't made a pun and you've been here for at least ten minutes."

Worried, he won't show it, but he will pry and make sure your okay

Bc yeah, he doesn't really care for puns or cheesy pick up lines, as their not his thing in the slightest

He still likes that you do them, their your thing, and it's what makes him love you, even if he doesn't admit it

And trust me, he'd probably rather die then admit it

Mikey

Mikey either giggles from them or smiles and rolls his eyes depending on the level of cheesiness

He loves you! And he loves that you love him! And he loves that you express it in a adorkable way!

What more can he say? He'll try and reciprocate it but he's not quite the pun master the way Leo is

Still, if he does and you two get the ball rolling back and forth his heart flutters with joy and that's the thing to keep him smiling for months alone

His favorites are your arty based puns, as they often come with a little doodle or are a left behind sticky note he can keep as a little token of you in his room

Plus their the easiest for him to reciprocate too as an art nerd

Just a lil cheesy doodle with a pun based pick up line and boom! You two are giggling like dorks in love

Tho he's most frequent response is often just a string of giggles and hugging you tightly

Raph

Raph is a very big pun lover as well as pun despiser

While he may laugh and rolls his eyes at everyone else's puns, if he makes one without thinking he just goes :| (contemplates life choices)

Tho in truth if he does get a laugh or giggle out of you with a pun, he'll smile wide

And he loves your puns and cheesy pick up lines so deeply

He is a blushy boy I refuse criticism

While he may roll his eyes and scoff lightly

It's SO obvious that he truly enjoys it from the blush on his face and smile spreading on his beak

He doesn't really ever return the energy you throw at him but he does always accept it and embrace it

He honestly enjoys clever puzzle based pick up lines

Or any pick up line or pun that makes him think for a minute

== == ==

This was cute! Thanks for the ask, I always enjoy 'em! Hope you have a lovely day, afternoon, and goodnight!

[chuuyrr]

burnt out! scarlet witch! fushiguro! reader

jujutsu kaisen x reader

masterlist of the series

warning(s): mentions of burnouts, breakdowns, stress & pressure, fluffy dad! gojo comforting teen! reader

im burnt out right now and i may or may not be crying as well, and here i am like, hey why dont i turn these tears and emotions into content? so yeah, this ain't a request.. anyway, i'm dedicating this to everyone who's in need of comfort right now like me, or at least someone to tell them that's ok <3

reaching the adolescent stage of your life was an absolute train wreck. not only were you burdened with studies from your regular school, but you also had other responsibilities as the scarlet witch. because of your god-like powers, you were given special grade level missions. even if it seemed like a piece of cake to others, it wasn't. just because you were powerful and were considered the strongest sorceress alive, it doesn't mean you were that invincible. you were still human at the end of the day. you get exhausted too. you get overwhelmed too.

the higher-ups were putting a lot of pressure on you, and it was making you sick. you weren't just carrying yourself here, you were carrying your brother's name and, most importantly, the title of being gojo satoru's adoptive daughter. their eyes were always watching you, always judging your every move, and it got worse when gojo wasn't around. you felt like you couldn't even breathe.

you were doing everything you could to meet their expectations and prove you were anything but a threat.

for the past few days, you haven't been able to rest easily, and the worst thing is, you haven't been able to tell anyone either. gojo, your dad, hasn't been home due to a business trip, so you spent your time alone and when you come home, there's no six feet tall man to greet you with a big bear hug and kisses on the face. fortunately, with gojo out of the picture, you were able to cry your heart out without having to make him worry, but that was until he came home only to find you crying in the kitchen, back pressed on the wall with pieces of shattered glass on the floor.

gojo had just returned from his business, hands filled with numerous of souvenirs for you when he saw you. "kikufuku! i'm home, did you miss me sugarpl—[name]!"

he immediately rushed to your side and dropped his souvenirs to the ground, aqua eyes in a complete panic when he saw your state and the shattered pieces of glass across the floor. "[name]? are you okay? what happened?"

"dad?" you croaked out, sniffling as you lifted your head to see gojo kneeling right beside you. "you're home?"

"i'm right here, sugarplum." with that, gojo picked up, hooking his arms under your knees and back to hoist you from the ground and coddle you in his embrace.

"i'm sorry, dad. you weren't supposed to see me like this." you broke down into another sob, fresh hot tears rolling down your face as you sniffled and buried your face onto the crook of his neck. "i'm just so overwhelmed lately. i accidentally broke the glass from frustration."

"shhh, it's okay. i got you. no need to be sorry, kikufuku. daddy's here now." gojo took you to the sofa, continuing to coddle you in his embrace and occasionally rubbing shapes on your back to sooth you down.

you stayed there in your father's arms, completely vulnerable as you sobbed. you felt as if you were a toddler again in this kind of state you're in right now. once you were finally grounded and much calmer, gojo decided to speak up.

"do you wanana to talk about it?" gojo asked with genuine concern, brushing your disheveled hair that was all over your face. "you can tell me anything, kikufuku. i'm all ears."

you nodded your head, wiping your tears away. you told gojo how stressed out you've been lately, from the amount of studies that school was throwing at you to the special grade missions they've burdened on you and how the elders have treated you while he was gone. hearing your rambles made gojo's blood boil. how dare they do that to his kikufuku?

"don't worry, kikufuku. everything's going be alright. i'll take care of it, okay?" gojo pecked the top of your head, rubbing your arm this time as a form of comfort.

"promise, dad?" you whispered weakly. god, hearing how exhausted you were made gojo even more angry at them.

he smiled at you. "i promise, kikufuku."

gojo stayed until you had fallen into a deep sleep in his arms. gojo lifted his blindfold and felt his heart painfully clench when he saw bags under your eyes and how you held onto him desperately in your slumber. you didn't deserve this. gor goodness sake, you were still a kid. this is that one thing that gojo didn't want to happen to you. to feel the same burdens he once did. 

"you did great, kikufuku. now, let me take care of the rest. daddy will be right back."

gojo carried you into your bedroom, tucking you in bed and kissing your forehead before leaving to clean up the glass you broke in the kitchen and making his way to the elders to "talk" to them.

by the time you woke up, the first you did was bolt as you realized how late you were for school. you used your chaos magic to get downstairs when you saw gojo wearing a frilly pink cooking apron, making pancakes in the kitchen and to your surprise, he didn't burn them.

"dad?" you blinked profusely.

"ah, kikufuku! you're awake! good morning. did you sleep well last night?" gojo spun around, placing the pancakes he was cooking on the plates near the stove on the counter.

"yeah! but, um, i'm in a hurry. i have school and a mission to take care of later—you were instantly cut off by gojo, "ah! ah! you're not going anywhere today little missy."

"huh?" you looked at him confused.

"i called your school earlier, you're excused for the whole week." gojo explained, placing a hand on his hip as he waved the spatula he was holding at you. "and as for the mission, i already took care of it. you won't be hearing from jujutsu tech in a while."

"r-really?" you gasped.

"mhm! now, eat up your pancakes. they're gonna get cold, kikufuku." gojo sauntered towards you, ruffling your hair affectionately. "you and i will be having a daddy-daughter date this week. i booked us many trips last night, so we have a lot of agendas."

"wait, what?!" you gasped once more, this time almost yelling.

"i booked us a spa and salon treatment, and then we're going shopping. oh, and i also booked us a michelin star restaurant for lunch and dinner today." gojo explained, now rambling at this point. "tomorrow, we're heading to this café that kugisaki told me about and we'll go sightseeing in—[name]?"

gojo paused when saw tears well in your eyes. "hey, what's wrong? did i say something wrong?"

you shook your head as a smile broke through your face, "thanks, dad. for everything."

"oh, don't you get emotional on me now. no more crying for my most beautiful and sweetest daughter!" gojo placed away the spatula he was holding to encase you in his arms and fully-embrace you.

"things have been hell for me and i just missed you." you managed a laugh, unable to hold in the tears. "i'm just so tired lately."

"i know, kikufuku, and i'm so sorry you had to go through all of that while i was gone." gojo let out a sigh, resting his chin on the top of your head as he pat your back.

"i'm just glad you're here now. i'm okay now." you say, rubbing your cheek against his chest affectionately causing gojo to laugh at your habit. it has always been your habit to smoosh your face like a cat since you were a toddler.

if you ever need someone, gojo's there to be your shoulder to lean on and to take care of you. you're his little kikufuku after all. not only was it his responsibility, but he genuinely loved you. he wasn't going to let anything bad happen to you. nope, not on his watch. 

you ended up spending time and having fun with gojo, and forgetting about the stress that was overwhelming you in the first place. at the end of the week, you were back in tip top shape and things significantly got better.

[ask-runaan-anything]

Runaan, . . .How do I find what I am good at? How do I plan for my life? I am having all these thoughts in my head that I dont know what I feel or think anymore. I cant talk with my parents, I dont know why, but I guess I trust you too much to tell you this. Thank you 🥺

*takes a deep breath* This is a question of grand-scale, but I'll do my best.

When considering questions such as yours, it's important to consider what might cause us to become so lost. Are we relying too heavily on the influence of others? on external motivations such as money, attention, and more? These sorts of things weigh heavily on us--especially the decisions we make--even when we try not to let them. It's hard to steer clear of them; I am an assassin, after all. I don't truly wish to take life do as I say, not as I do. Although the expectations and wishes of others may feel good in the short term, it's not the proper way to live. Your life is your own, so you should commit to things that make you happy; what makes you look forward to getting out of bed in the morning. Your thoughts and wishes are worth honouring with the gift of time and care.

Additionally, don't feel like you have to commit yourself to only one thing in your lifetime. You have a long life ahead of you (hopefully), and you'll be impressed by all the unique adventures you'll have--ones you hadn't previously dreamed of or expected to enjoy. Ethari does all sorts of things: weapon-smithing, crafting jewelry, gardening, playing his lute, and much, much more. He can't be held down by one discipline or practice, and his brilliant mind shouldn't be restricted in such a way, either. He finds beauty and meaning in almost every creative craft there is to offer.

I'm honoured that you find me trustworthy when it comes to talking about such vulnerable subjects. However, I encourage you to find adult figures or peers in your personal circle who you're able to communicate these feelings to. They will be able to provide you with a more tailored, personable response, since they know more about you, on a deeper level. Feel free to return if you are in need of more help, little shadow. I wish you the best of luck.

[gt-newbie]

While biking back home from school, Lucy was ready for a new experience, and luck had it that she had just enough allowance to get herself one from the store on the way home. Something called a Roleplaying Game, or RPG. Though it's for one player, she can take turns with the little girl at home, or one of them watching while the other plays along. While yes, Lucy feels uncomfortable calling her "little girl", what else can she call someone that's only 4 inches tall and lives in her home's walls? Hmm...let's just stick to "pal" or something.

Actually, that makes her realise something. She's been friends with the mysterious 4 inch tall girl for about a week now, yet she doesn't even know her name. Then again, did she ever speak so far, next to head and hand movements? She doesn't wanna push her to do something she's not comfortable with, but it would be nice just to hear or know something. Maybe she could start with writing? Wait, can she write?

Those thoughts quickly leave her head as she reaches her home and puts her bike in the garage. No cars, meaning her parents aren't home yet. Now would be the perfect time for her pal to come out and game with her.

In the living room, she heads to the wall where the couch stands and gives gentle knocks in a little tune.

"Hey, are you in there? I got a new game I'd like to try with you if you have some time"

No response, so she gently places her ear against the wall, and sure enough, she faintly hears tiny footsteps descending down to the crack in the wall on ground level, making her quickly but carefully lower herself on her stomach, ready to greet her pal, now slight peaking from behind the wall

"Hey! How are you? My parents aren't home yet, so no need to worry about an incident like last time. You ready?" Lucy asks, being met with a simple nod, as her pal runs over to the TV. Lucy doesn't mind this taking longer instead of just carrying her over there. After all, she wouldn't like suddenly being lifted 100 feet in the air for 'convenience'.

Lucy carefully steps to the TV and unpacks the new game, placing it in the system. Around the same time, her pal arrives.

"Uh...one thing you should know though. This isn't really a game we can genuinly play together. It's something called an RPG, where it's more story driven and works with turns in battles and magic and...I'm rambling sorry. Actually, it reminds me of tabletop games some students at my school pla...rambling again, sorry" Lucy cuts herself off at the last part. She always wanted to try and join those kids, and they've never really been nasty to her or anything, but she just can't bring herself out of fear. But she pushes those thoughts aside to hang out with her new friend...of who she doesn't even know the name...

"Hey, question..." Lucy begins to ask. She wants to know something about her new friend, at least her name. Or at least know why she hasn't said anything yet. She just needs to ask something.

"...would you like to go first or second" to which her pal signals she can go first. Okay not the intended question, but she just doesn't want to intimidate or scare her...she'll talk when she wants to...right?

Lucy notices she zoned out just a little at the title screen, but recollects herself. She names the 4 characters she plays as in the game after herself and 2 characters she makes stories with in her head.

"One more....heh, we can make it you if you want. Uh, I mean, only if you want to, and only if you're comfortable with sharing your name, and at that point only if you're comfortable with talking because I dont wanna push you and...and..." Lucy feels like she completely messed up. She made an ass out of herself, or at the least made herself look like an idiot...but then she hears something she didn't expect. An itty bitty giggle.

Quickly turning to her friend, she sees her laughing, but afterwards looking...apologetic it seems?

"...sorry. Arani. I'm...Arani. Sorry I...didn't talk much yet..." she says. Lucy can't believe her eyes. Not at the fact that she started talking, but rather at the fact THIS is how she made her talk. By embarrasing herself. Way to go girl

"...uh, oh, that's okay! Yes, Arani. That's a pretty name, I like it" and Arani gives a soft thanks, not looking intimidated, but rather comfortable and smiling like a goofball.

Quickly entering her name, or rather "ARAN" because only 4 letters fit, she finally starts up the RPG, one step into adventure and one step closer to Arani.

[sunseteyes]

FLUFFVEMBER DAY 13: YORIICHI TSUGIKUNI

prompt: i love you (prompts are by @jojosmilktea)

word count: 1,296 words | themes: gen!reader, slow burn-ish, yori’s era i have no idea when dont ask me please, manga spoilers because well yori is a spoiler himself lmao

tags: @kacchanori @chickynn @todominica @sparkleswritings @brinthie @patricia-ceballos @giyuus-wife @bitchtrynafck @astrxrism @animatedarchives @deephasoceanmagic @strawberrysalwa

rv: this kinda gives me the vibe to ��roze continue this or i will smack you” because i have an angst plot hidden behind this but yes of course it’s not stated here much because i don’t want to really lengthen this more lmao. enjoy reading!

✒︎ breath of love

yoriichi never was a showy or a vocal person. you knew that since the start—before you even had gotten to talk with the sun breath user.

having an enhanced sense of sight, you could always see and read other people with their slightest bits of movements—always being able to observe what they feel, think and are about to do. that’s what you expected when you became a demon slayer, being one of the strongest with the help of your small yet strong impacted ability.

people notice your ability when you come to help them when they needed it, even if they haven't said it yet. you were always everyone's shoulder to cry on, always the person who people call as "friendly". the friendly pillar.

when you first saw yoriichi, you knew in an instant that he would be a tough one to crack. because despite being able to catch what one’s reactions were, you should also have the knowledge to determine who the person really is for not everyone is exactly the same and it speaks with their actions too.

you observed him from afar, the alleged sun breath user that taught everyone their own breaths—the very reason why the demon slayers were starting to evolve and get stronger and stronger by the day.

you? you became a love breath user.

you know of the word love and of course you feel it, but it surprised you to have it as your own breath. when yoriichi told you that you’d use love breathing, as a matter of fact, you looked him in the eye with an incredulous look and it became the first time for you to never have read what the other person’s intentions were. in short, you could not figure out yoriichi at all.

a tick of a brow, a quirk on the corner of a lip, a twitch on the eye, none of those were shown on his refined and reserved face, as if he doesn’t have emotions at all.

he’s a blank.

“why?” you say, teeth gnawing on the insides of your cheeks the moment you realized you let out the question.

he looked at you, speaking nothing. yet for some reason, you knew that he was waiting for you to finish off and complete your statement.

“why love breathing?”

yoriichi’s face was unbothered, unmoving as a stone, aside from the small gap on his lips as he moved them to speak.

“is there any reason why not?”

the lump on your throat was an indication that you couldn’t answer, the confusion in your mind starting to build bigger and bigger as seconds passes by. for a moment there, you thought you two would just stand in silence, eyeing each other like two eagles awaiting for one to break the peace.

“i’m just curious.” you let out, not knowing exactly why you asked him such an idiotic question that left you hanging on a cliff when you were asked back.

you expected him to answer, nonetheless. but alas, none came out of yoriichi’s lips and he merely looked at you in the eye. you found his stare intimidating that you shuddered on your own, averting your gaze away as you pushed the question on the back of your mind, choosing to ignore the fact that he did not answer it.

but that moment hunted you as you used the breath, curiosity choosing to make its way to your mind until you noticed something that caught your eyes.

"why are you holding back?" you questioned him, a frown appearing on your lips as you eased up the same time as he did, abandoning both of your defenses from the seemingly silent training that you got assigned with for the day. it was not unusual for you to meet yoriichi at least once or twice a week since he usually trains with the pillars to test their strengths and be able to determine if they could still handle the breath that was allotted to them. after all, each one of you are merely testing whether you could do what someone like yoriichi could. that even if you all could not be on the same level as his, all of you try to.

he was the goal—one to attain to not die in this line of work.

yoriichi was silent again, and it takes all of your energy not to let your anger seeth in at his silence. after all, he's still an honorable man and he's someone who you all should respect for teaching you his techniques, even if some were trying to talk behind his back for it. some people are ungrateful, after all.

you're not. you respect yoriichi, but you're wondering if he does the same to you too.

"you fit well with it." he suddenly says, shocking your system at the sound of his calm and full voice. he rarely speaks, only when he is needed.

"with what?"

"love breathing."

the words he said slowly processed in your mind but you eventually realized what he meant. it was the answer to your question from weeks ago, the one that made you curious the entire time.

"that's why you picked it for me?"

yoriichi looks away but it was not to avoid your eyes. it was to look at the sky that he always had seemed to adore. "i didn't."

at that time, questions raised in your mind but you didn't ask them in fear that you would be left hanging once again. instead, you let the silence and peace greet you, feeling much more comfortable than before. which is rather curious, honestly.

you found yourself liking the tranquility that floats above your head every time you were with yoriichi, and before you knew it, you craved for his presence more and more, even watching him train with the other slayers from afar. he didn't seem to notice it, but even if he did, it didn't look like he minded it.

yoriichi frequently watched the sky, and you didn't know what took over you to do it with him one morning, sitting down next to the sun breath user with ease and composure that you've never felt before. you were raised in a family of fighters, and it must be the reason why you craved for the serenity that yoriichi brings to the people that are around him.

with him, it just seems so... peaceful.

"you meant that i was the one who chose the breath of love, didn't you?" your question surprised you. you only wanted to start a conversation but before you know it, words were already spilling out of your lips.

yoriichi turns to look at you then, and a wave of cold water washes over you for an unknown reason. it was as if you were refreshed and you were born anew whenever yoriichi's gaze is focused on you. you couldn't read him again like usual, but you didn't mind it anymore. he didn't say anything, but he didn't have to. you already figured out how to know what he's thinking. you begun to understood the heart that lies beneath that stone surface of his.

you know this. you know this feeling so much.

in fact, it's so ironic.

you look at him, a smile appearing on your face.

for the very first time, you felt as if you were the one who was being taken care of. all your life, you determined how people think, feel and act. you became someone who felt responsible if they feel lonely one bit.

but now that you're with yoriichi, it was you this time.

you were falling for him. and you'd better stop yourself from showing any signs of it or you'll be the first to say i love you.

[betweentheracks]

Heyo! Not to be too nosy here but you mentioned you're in bad health and recovering, and I just wondered what happened? Also how would it impact your career since, from how you've made it all seem thus far, it's a highly active and demanding job?

Hope you take care and get well! You appear quite strong and not like you'd take whatever has happened just lying down, so here's to you!! 🙏💓

No sweat and no worries here, I dont find this particularly invasive. If anything, I'm flattered you care to ask after me lol. 😁

A few weeks back I met a friend I hadn't seen in some time for lunch. This was against my better sense of caution that I've held firmly to throughout the pandemic, but I would feel regretful and dismissive if I didnt agree to see her while I had the chance. I should've listened my gut and stayed safely at work because this "friend" failed to mention she had tested positive (she knew already by the time of our lunch date, she has since admitted) and had figured since she had no symptoms there was no harm in being in public.

FF only a few days later and I was feeling a little unwell but had put it off as an effect of the winter blast that had just hit where I live. I'd spent half a day out in the cold and snow for a photoshoot only the day before and thought it was probably due to that since I'm susceptible to weather influenced head colds and bronchitis. Fortunately, my job mandates a rigid COVID-19 screening twice a week due to our high profile clientele and as an assurance of health and safety for us all. Mine read back with a positive and with the way I had been feeling I was immediately sent home and the company closed its doors while the building was sterilized and our clients notified.

Thankfully I managed not to infect anyone I work with nor my son. Regrettably, I did infect my best friend since we're horrifically incapable of maintaining personal space and have weak shit immune systems. We both agree it is a wonder we made it this far into plague times without it catching us.

So I went and got looked over and sent on my way with my prescription of potent anti-virals and steroids. I was well prepared to abide the quarantine guidelines and had sent my son to my mother's home for the duration so that he was out of the danger zone. It was fine, I was kinda cool and keen on getting a few days to myself to rest up and all that jazz. But it wasn't meant to last and I found trouble in the form of being unable to remain conscious much at all and would pass out constantly. After a few times of this I gave my brother (he's a doctor and vaccinated) a ring and told him that my fatigue was no joke dude and needed him to come give me a better once over than the one I'd gotten before bc I was sure I was not meant to feel this badly. He found me unconscious in the shower that night, my head battered from crashing to the basin.

After ensuring I wasn't concussed and jokes on what a hard head I have to take such a beating and show no signs of registering it beyond bruising (a joke between us due to him having once accidentally put a golf club into my forehead and fracturing my skull but that's a different story) he told me to call him regularly so that he can review how I feel and the progression of my symptoms and left. By the morning I had already had two more instances of sudden fatigue and collapsing in on myself. I had been posting on my main blog here about how I was doing and due to this I caught the concern of @peekbackstage and upon their suggestion to have my O2 levels tested it was revealed that I was having issues with my blood not circulating oxygen as it should and nearing hypoxia.

Here's the rub. I have a heart condition that is already very dangerous and bleak which limits my heart's capability of delivering blood through my body as it should. Cardiomyopathy or, as it seems better known, congestive heart failure. I've had surgery for it and it has been a while since it caused me any real issues as long as I stick to my routine of care and manage my health, but when COVID-19 infiltrated my body it immediately snagged upon this weak heart of mine and sank its fangs in.

Within a day of being admitted to the hospital I had a grand mal seizure due to the constant fluctuations of oxygen in my blood and the way my body was working double time to supplement for it. And only 2 days after that and when my nervous system had finally quieted down, I went into full cardiac arrest with a heart attack at my young age.

My next weeks were spent connected to machines doing more for me than my own body could. I developed pneumonia in my lungs, acute though it was it was still another complication that my wrecked body had to overcome as it made my already ragged breathing even worse. I was steadily shedding muscle tone and definition due to a lack of mobility and the fact that my body felt like a deadweight I could hardly take command of, and generally very weakened. My heart, the horrible thing, was inflamed and trying too hard by beating too fast, too hard.

FF some more and I was doing fairly well and treatments were showing some improvement. My heart was still being an ugly and gnarled beast in my chest and throwing weird spikes on the monitor that raised alarms. The pneumonia was retreating and I had no further seizures. It was the dawning light of my first signs that I was recovering!

It took a while more and so fucking many tests day in and day out for me get cleared for release. I tested negative for COVID-19 and was ashamed that I actually forgot that that was why I was even in the hospital to begin with, given all that happened. I have to undergo physical therapy and counseling; PT for heart happy exercises as well as to manage to my depleted muscles, counseling bc I was rocked mentally from all the almost dying and the depressive haze of being holed up in the hospital and surrounded by people who, like me, came in with COVID-19 but unlike me did not come out of it.

I'm home now. I had to have a pacemaker implanted and must stay vigilant for any showing that my heart is not performing as it should. I still have some severe inflammation and chest restriction in my airways as well as my blood vessels but nothing too daunting. I also have a full battalion of prescriptions, most for my heart, and a nebulizer to ease any breathing issues. The worst is honestly that I still am very weak and have severely limited reserves of energy.

My job is required to make me take 12 weeks of leave for rest and recuperation. This is very upsetting since I had been requested by name to be an assistant stylist at the Grammys this year which is truly a dream (especially with BTS in the mix 😩😩) and also bc I'm just a workaholic by nature and love my job. When I return I am expected to learn how to properly delegate tasks that do not directly require me to handle and slow down the pacing of my projects. My boss terminated a contract with a client that was nearing the scheduled end of our agreement and was also incredibly problematic to help lighten my workload. It's imperative that I reign in my stress levels or my heart will not last until the next surgery I'll need, so I'm gritting my teeth and letting my job be picked apart to reduce my responsibilities.

My post awaits my return but I will not be returning to full activity for a while after, which means no rifling through the racks for hours alongside the archivists in search of the perfect piece. I'll be welcome to meet with my clients and oversee the glam teams, will still be the command tower for final verdicts on which styles to use. But I will not be running around showrooms nor personally handling matters any competent trainee could be tasked with like I've always done. I will no longer be able to fly out anywhere for destination shoots or fashion shows.

If, after my next surgery, things are better and my heart stable to the point that they are hopeful of things will be reevaluated. While it is difficult beyond measure for me to relinquish the reigns of my career and be restricted in what I can do now, I am very thankful to be alive and upright when that wasn't a certainty just a little while ago. This is such a humbling experience to have survived when my stats kept dropping every day. I've been told to expect that I will never make a full 100% recovery and to expect to stall out around the 70%-90% range, with 70% being the most realistic.

My best friend (the one I gave the plague to) will be moving in with me so that I am never on my own if things go tits up and to assist in wrangling a toddler since I am currently without the energy to do so as my child is, sincerely, a crazy gremlin spawn with limitless battery life. Slowly, my life will regain some normalcy 💖

[blackrabbit-megapig]

Hey i know this is super random but could you talk a bit about why you did not like dark rise? i was about to buy it when i saw your reply to an old post and now im like... very curious. money's tight rn and i dont want to spend it on a book that might disappoint me :(((

Hello,,,

I would like to apologize in advance if this response feels a bit off. I haven't communicated with anyone via Tumblr for a good long while. Hence, I just noticed this question sitting in my DMs. Again, sorry!

You asked about Dark Rise. I want to be fair to C.S. Pacat because I like her and I think her stories can be fun. However, Dark Rise... just wasn't my thing.

I'll start with the characters by saying that I didn't particularly care about any of them. Pacat introduces a large number of characters right off the bat but doesn't really give the reader time to become attached before she starts killing them off. The book shifts POV chapter to chapter, but even that doesn't rectify this problem. In fact, there's a character that felt like they only existed just to be a mouthpiece for the plot, listing off exposition when necessary before he's killed rather abruptly.

The main character, Will, is rather bland in my opinion, and doesn't fit the great, tragic destiny that's bestowed upon him. In the last two (?) chapters, he goes nearly full Sauron and it feels weirdly out of character. Maybe his development in the next two books will flesh him out for the better, but I don't believe Pacat did a good job of setting him up.

I will not speak on James. I liked James. Pacat certainly liked James. Will DEFINITELY liked James. James probably has the most potential for a good, satisfying character arc out of everyone in this series. However, the way he's written makes it seem like Pacat only really knows how to do ONE archetype of character with a compelling backstory. That's why I agreed that her fixation on bitchy, slightly cruel blond men is starting to feel off. It's very much giving one-trick pony.

The pacing was also an issue for me. The training the characters go through happens so fast, and then people just start dropping like flies. Everything about the world is given to you before the second half of the book and gives you zero opportunity to discover and speculate. Will's full descent into his villain arc feels like it should've happened later than it does. I don't think we should've discovered his true heritage in the first book, nor do I believe that we should've learned the truth of his parentage as early as we do.

I know this setup exists probably to cut the fat and get to the meat of the story, but it makes everything feel so rushed and sudden in the last half. What's the point of a good fantasy story if you don't slow down and bask in the world you've created? It doesn't have to be go-go-go from start to finish!

Now, my ultimate beef with this book: the world-building. Look, the math isn't math-ing in my head and despite having this premise of taking place years after this great, magical war, the world feels so...empty? I know people make the joke that if a fantasy novel gives you a map at the beginning of the book, then you know it's going to be good. Dark Rise is not that book. If anything, the map makes the story even more confusing and disappointing. Characters hop around the map like it's nothing, arriving at destinations within sentences. As I said, why was Pacat rushing? Why didn't she take any time to flesh the universe out?

There's randomly this whole lore piece about unicorns that only exists to explain ONE character and one scene. Now, I wouldn't have an issue with this if it didn't feel so janky and bloated.

I've been pulled through the high fantasy genre's asshole so many times that I've become accustomed to a certain level of finesse. I expect so much effort to be put into world-building because I figure that if you're going to tell this epic tale with fantasy creatures and magic and all this really cool stuff, why wouldn't you spend the time to make sure that all of it makes sense? Why wouldn't you make sure that locations and creatures and people feel tangible? I know that Pacat did the best she could with this first book, but it reads like so much of the world is missing. Dark Rise's world-building feels like it was created after the premise of the story was drafted out rather than the other way around. It feels like this world only exists to tell this specific story rather than existing as a setting where these characters and events could just so happen to exist and occur.

Even the made-up ancient language is baffling and makes me want to grind my teeth. I don't know if it's based on an actual language, but Pacat didn't do it justice.

As I said, this book just wasn't for me. I think it might have something to do with me going into it with high expectations and all these ideas about what a good fantasy novel should be, but my opinion is my opinion. I'm an adult now, and YA fantasy is a genre that I think is starting to just feel too juvenile for me in general.

I will say that if you're into cliche, chosen one narrative YA novels, this book is certainly for you.

Also, if money is an issue, I will say that there are ways of getting ahold of free ebooks online without surrendering your computer to malware. You can also download those books onto a Kindle now (who knew?! Not me!). I just checked a certain website and Dark Rise is on it. I'm not saying I'm explicitly endorsing pirating books, but it is an option you can consider until you're in a financial situation where you can start buying books again.

Hope this helps!

EDIT: I came back to this and added some non-spoiler examples for the points that I was trying to make. Please take my opinions with a grain of salt and read whatever books are interesting to you and make you happy!