#jobs growing on jobbies

[nerdgirlriot]

I have an older co-worker who calls customers "hon" and it always rubs me the wrong way when I hear it because it just sounds so fucking WEIRD and PERVY to call a complete stranger a pet name like let's call them all "babe" and "sweetheart" and it's worse because said co-worker is a woman and I...just...can't...

[holyviolence]

(RE)WATCHED IN 2023: Just get a job? Why don't I strap on my job helmet, and squeeze myself down into a job cannon, and fire off into Jobland, where jobs grow on jobbies?!

IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA, season three (2007)

[blogofloathing]

Part 1 of 1, Edel E'Meyer And The Courts Favor

"I assure you I can handle this all by myself" Edel Erlenmeyer proliferated once more among them.

Even in their oft quietous, she could feel a hurtful doubt in the lot of them, really had she proved nothing to them, at the very least shown that her passion for the subject was greater than anyone's?

Standing behest an overwhelming numeration of blank faces, their cold indifference ran hot on her eyes, ironically beading up droplets of sweat

The room was lit up with harsh white bulbs, which served to shine disconcertingly on her pale skin, and similarly palid hair, allowing each flyaway strand to be disgustingly visible to all in the room,

In which she stood upright rather than sitting down, a stark contrast to the Faceless which had never been seen leaving their seats, she'd be wholly unfazed if they were bolted to the floor.

"concerning the.." a pause, "deaths of all pertinent" another pause, "personnel, we.." the group spoke not in unison, but finished one another's sentences as if having previously rehearsed the scene.

Each word chosen carefully, spoken with precise intonation, "find it.. unwise to continue.."

Seizing the silence that followed she extolled in a mock tone of remembrance "while yes the loss of both head scientists.." stopping for a beat as if to pay a momentary respects to the deceased.

"And in turn both subjects," murmuring ensued among them, each empty face conferring excitably, "however!" She cut in, to stifle the crowd.

"I believe I am perfectly able to continue their work, with the resources leftover" smacking the table she was standing at, it echoed iridly around the spacious hall, resembling a court room more than any proper meeting or office space.

As the quiet conference began again within the multitudes, "I'd like to draw your attention to the chalkboard, generously provided by the school"

Wheeling out a green board, covered in frantic nearly illegible scribbles, numbers and statistics, cartoonish drawings of strange creatures.

Every eye in the audience shifted dramatically to what was explained in white, "here we can see a catalogue of each specimen, while many were destroyed in the.. incident" she extended a pointer

"A good number also go unaccounted for," the discussion between peers seemed to be without end, and Edel didn't even bother attempting to hush their tones again, "while yes a good portion were reduced to unidentifiable puddles of mush"

Smiling under her breath, she had to smother the expressions of mirth as soon as it came, mustn't look too amused at the gorey prospect.

"Undoubtedly some escaped, where they are is a job for the jobbies," her use of such casual terms serving to bring harsh looks down on high.

Really what respect was deserved for those mooks, bumbling facsimiles, if she was successful in gaining her new position, they'd be the first to go..

Edel could sense a growing impatience, and so quickly moved on "but what specimens remain,"

Gesturing to a chart labeled 'contained' with 5 names listed underneath in neat lettering.

"Will be invaluable to my- our work here," alright Edel, give em the line now sink it.

"Imagine!" She shouted with a dramatic flourish, flipping the chalkboard to its back, showcasing a crude drawing of men holding guns "being able to create supersoldiers from nothing!"

Several raised eyebrows and jubilant looks sprang up within the audience at the idea.

Giving the board another spin, she brilliantly showed off a third side, depicting an equally amateur illustration of two men, labeled 'identical'

"replace people who know too much!" Different eyebrows raised, with different jubilant looks between the blanked faces abound.

Almost violently flipping to tbe next side of the board, wherein sat a shockingly detailed diagram of muscle groups and cutting techniques.

"And even fix the ongoing food crisi-" though she stopped herself as disgusted looks rained on her, running back to shelter, best not to overstep now.. clearly she'll have to bring it up another time

While her preamble experiments with cooking and consumption of cloned meat had proved promising, she wasn't surprised at their hesitance.

As far as she could tell, there were no adverse side effects to eating clones, even if it wasn't pretty. Something about wheezing flesh heaps didn't appeal to the general masses apparently.

By their standards at least, Edel herself couldn't imagine something more beautiful than the specimens, creating life and returning it to the earth through sacrifice, calories to calories.

Shaking her head like a dog to throw off these blissful fantasies, she continued with a cough.

"Ahem, anyway, I believe, with the information presented to you all today," looking at the space where an expression would be on anyone else.

It wasn't right to say they looked neutral, or uncaring, it was more like the canvas where a face should lay was replaced with a sharp nothingness.

One which she felt could cut her, while also phasing through, a haunting, confusing picture.

"You will find that it is not only worthwhile, but infact necessary! To continue this work, undoubtedly these prospects seem desirable do they not?" Her voice has somewhat of a sales mogle like quality to it, clearly pre rehearsed

There was a dead quiet, all seemed to be thinking

"Especially to you Bruise" Edel mused pointedly at the cluster she assumed belonged to him.

The concept of disposable machines of war had perked all their ears at attention, so easy to read.

In the way he couldn't quite separate each of them convincingly, where one picked up a pen, another held their hand uselessly in the air, and he couldn't quite get them to talk independently yet.

He thought it went unnoticed, but human behavior was her specialty, going hand in hand with cloning.

"We would rather you.. not refer to our-" the Bruise group began, followed by Terrence's.

"Sorry sorry," putting her hands up surrenderedly. "Really I don't see the point of using the Faceless"

Pointdexter's collection winged noticeably, it was evident they had been his idea,

Certainly she could see the appeal, puppets of flesh to project yourself through,

However this required careful removal of the afflicted's brain, and replacement of such with darkened imitations, a tedious process.

Which Edel presumed she could completely circumvent, creating life only to serve that purpose

While they wanted to alter a person to be serviant, she had the capabilities to engineer life,

tailor made to act in their interests, "in any case, I know you four can see the usefulness"

"And that's just the start of it" she decided to let the sentiment linger for a few moments

Before sealing the deal for good, "I could even take care of that.. pesky nephew issue"

She spoke in a tone almost as if it was an after thought, a footnote to her plans.

The middlemost gaggle of puppets plucked up almost comically, "as in.. Morris..?"

A cautious smile marking trails along their.. well,

Edel smirked deleteriously, teeth sharpened to points, they could almost draw blood speaking alone, with a silver tongue to lap it up.

"Our biggest problem indeed," grinning cheshire in the dim light, the effect compounded by the extra row of biters she had installed herself.

"With my technology, and your support" she had them all around her finger already,

"We can get everything we've ever wanted, with none to stand in the way" images of flesh, spires of bone and overwhelming heaps of organic matter, gorgeous monuments to rebirth, these tantalizing dreams filled her mind, drove her hand.

Living creatures of every kind, a world of life, of pulsing and moving, wriggling and changing.

Where everything would be the ideal, perfection, beings of mastered speciation, full adaptability.

Wherein extinction wasn't a possibility, wherein there was no such thing as death, only birth.

"And any who do, can be fixed, replaced, changed, I can even do the same for all of you, you don't have to rely on your meager components"

Her muscles contracted and hissed at the push of hydraulic systems within her very bones.

Spiders, she had learned it from, complex mechs. Much more efficient than human systems.

"Surely I live as evidence of my claims," she sang, swiveling around, her joints could go in all directions, backwards, forwards, upside down.

"No pain! Well," she snickered not unlike a clown, "at least not anymore, surgery makes one weary of course" rolling her shoulder exaggeratedly

The faceless shifted uncomfortably at her manic outburst, "I've already done so on myself, it's as easy as one simple procedure, I could do it right-"

"Stop, we've heard you out, and we will allow for Project Piebald to continue" a different voice spoke," rendering the center cluster hunched over at their desks as an unseen figure strode in.

Suited in black and with hair that seemed to cling to the air particles as they passed through.

"Ahh, little Margy" she grinned smugly, hands on her chin at the taller woman. Who did not reciprocate the flamboyant attitude presented.

"I've said not to call me that Auntie Edie" bristling at the nickname, her hair looked as though it corresponded to her mood. Growing sharp and pointed when angered, or annoyed by Edel.

"Aww but darling you'll always be my lil-" she cooed, a hand placed on Margaret's chin.

Tilted slightly upturned, she slapped her hand away, garnering surprised looks from the dark glassed men standing just behind her.

Who preformed a dramatically drawn out "oooo" at the apparently exciting drama unfolding.

"Are we all grade schoolers here?" She scolded harshly, eyes running jet black to mirror the gaze of her still animate compatriots in the stands.

"No ma'am-" "sorry-" "of cour-" "won't hap-" they all spoke over each other in a jumbled dog pile.

Literally stumbling in place, grabbing one another for balance and dragging the other down too.

Margaret sighed wearily, exasperated at the scene unfolding just behind her, "see what I mean?" Edel quirked with a hint of sarcasm, lending the darker haired woman to glower sharply at her again

"They're just lackies" yet apparently jobbies was too harsh? she grumbled the words just quiet enough they couldn't hear over their own kerfuffle

"But they get their work done" now Edel was starting to suspect she was lying on purpose.

In any case, sidestepping blatant flanderizing of these idiots, "hopefully mine can do it better"

They smiled at each other, something of their little rivalry amused and annoyed the pair in turn.

"Well I can expect to see you in my office," pausing for a moment to consider the now doubled over bodies juryside, "proper office" she finished.

Extending a hand towards her spunkier colleague, "this isn't final, but I agree to seeing some results"

She shook it confidently, as far as Edel was concerned she had won, set to do as she pleased

Margaret's handshake was firm, but not as strong as it could be, and she'd shaken a lot of hands.

"Happy to be working with you madam president" she replied in a mock tone of authority.

Giggling idly when her face fell at the impression, as Edel's internal systems catalogued and reproduced a model of Marg's fingerprint from the most momentary contact of a handshake

// well there you have it! Our first introduction to the beloved (to some) and the hated (to far more) Edel Erlenmeyer! I'm excited to write more about her and her strange motives, what could she be planning to do with the power she's asking for?

And to end things off we have a very very special happy birthday to send out for a "Gali's Girlfriend" hope you enjoyed this little birthday treat ^w^ !!

[furbearingbrick]

in light of a certain user I keep seeing on my dash who’s shitting on disabled people who can’t get employed

[ID: A video clip from It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia of Charlie Kelly responding, "Oh, get a job?" to someone off screen, who replies, "Yeah.". Charlie gestures wildly, miming along with the dialogue, in an increasingly louder and higher pitched tone of voice, "Just get a job?! Why don't I strap on my job helmet and squeeze down into a job canon, and fire off into Job Land, where jobs grow on jobbies!" End ID.]

[badstepsmoving]

"just get a job? why ... why don't i strap on my job helmet and squeeze down into a job canon and fire off into jobland! where jobs grow on jobbies!!"

always sunny canon dialogue starter, @5chmidt & charlie, accepting.

[worst-pub-in-philly]

“Just get a job? Why don’t I strap on my job helmet, and squeeze down into a job cannon, AND FIRE OFF INTO JOBLAND, WHERE JOBS GROW ON JOBBIES?!!!”

[nessvn]

"oh get a job? just get a job? why don't i strap on my JOB helmet and squeeze down into a JOOOB cannon and fire off into job land where JOBS GROW on JOBBIES??"

[izzy-b-hands]

AH HA

and email from a job that is, unfortunately, a rejection

But they said partially why!!!!

To paraphrase:

while they appreciate i could not have afforded college at all without my scholarship to the university of phoenix from my lit mag teacher (they asked me why i ended up there bc i admitted it was never gonna be on my list of colleges lmao and i gave them the whole backstory so technically they replied to that email but i digress)

they cannot, and believe that no one else, will consider my degree to be real, and that it's actively working against me. accreditation doesn't matter, the name of the school is enough to send my resume to the shredder. They recommended possibly taking it OFF my resume which im not sure abt that tbh, i wanna like. get opinions on that which is part of why im telling yall, to see what that statement elicits

but i appreciate that they told me. Kinda hate that they then said i should find a job that would help fund me going back to school to a 'bigger name and better trusted' institution for 'a better degree' bc while i do what to go back to school someday

i did have to fight the urge to send them the 'jobs grow on jobbies' bit from iasip on that but they aren't wrong. i probably should do that, whenever i can. just like. it's circular bc if they won't hire me bc of this...then how will i make the rest of that scenario happen like

[nerdgirlriot]

Thus ends the busiest 2 days of the year at work. Happy Thanksgiving, folks. I'm wiped.

I hope you'll be kind to all retail workers who have to be at their jobs this weekend.

[hawyer-mota]

Oh, get a job? just get a job?

Why don t I strap on my job helmet and squeeze down into a job cannon and fire off into job land where jobs grow on jobbies? 

- Charlie

[leilareport]

{josie totah, twenty, she/her} leila selah is a reporter from the sinnoh region. they’ve been in the unova region for six months, sometimes you can find them scribbling away on their countless memo pads. their partner pokemon is natu and are not apart of the pokedex team..

full name: leila selah

age: twenty

occupation: reporter

origin: sinnoh region ( eterna city )

face: josie totah

short brief info: leila’s parents live in hearthome city, boasting semi-successful careers in grooming pokemon and enjoying modern life as it goes. her grandmother, however, lives in eterna city, where leila chose to live as soon as she hit the age of twelve. the old woman was caring, albeit a bit strict about tradition and culture and often emphasizing how pokemon and people were meant to live as one in the world they lived in. mostly, leila just liked how present the old woman was compared to the shiny, empty house she lived in at hearthome city. on her thirteenth birthday, her grandmother had acquired a natu from a friend of hers ( a fellow medium ) and gifted it to leila. her own companion pokemon, someone she can be with for as long as she lived. growing up, leila took the natu, affectionately nicknamed “nat-nat”, everywhere. and even if her grandmother was against using pokemon for fighting and sport, leila trained nat-nat for simple, low-stakes battles. eventually, her team grew by a little. which was more than enough. by the age of eighteen, leila was contacted by her parents, citing that they had a friend who was looking for a hip, young reporter for hearthome’s various media outlets and because of their connections, would give her an instant job - if she passed the audition. despite the judgment of her grandmother, leila accepted to audition and found that switching to a more aggressive personality for the cameras came naturally and she was hired. the rest is history, sort of.

personality: outside of work, leila is quiet & soft-spoken. a regression to the epitome of a young lady that her grandmother brought her up to be instead of the wild & upbeat persona she adapts for her reporting job. when not scribbling away interesting factoids about people or nagging trainers for interviews, she has her head in the clouds and can be found mindlessly sipping juice away in a cafe somewhere with nat-nat perched on her shoulder. there’s a certain distance she puts between her job as a reporter and her as a person, as she sometimes forgets the people she’s annoyed into interviewing before. and it could be jarring to some that she’s not actually as energetic as she makes herself seem on the job when she’s not actively doing it. very random note, but when battling, she doesn’t call her pokemon by their nicknames. she only calls them by their nicknames outside of battle.

jobs & hobbies & jobbies: leila is a reporter. initially, she covered some amateur contests and groomers in hearthome city - mostly trainers and coordinators within her age group - but eventually, she was given the freedom to cover events that she may partake in. although, as someone who had the (mis)fortune of acquiring a job through nepotism, leila’s insistence in covering harder-hitting topics came about from trying to prove something to both herself and her nay-sayers. the magic that happened when she auditioned for the first time felt good and leila will spend the rest of her life proving her worth if she has to, because she wanted to be known for her own skill instead of how she managed to get her foot in the door in the first place. how far she’s willing to go when it comes to reporting about shadow pokemon and team stygian is still up in the air. but leila will definitely not go home until she has a story worth something. when not doing reporter things and she doesn’t have her head in the clouds, she likes spending time with her pokemon and taking them to shops with her.

currently: when news of the shadow pokemon first hit sinnoh, leila had her bags packed and ready to go, but not without saying goodbye to her grandmother and heeding her sayings about staying safe. currrently, she’s shacked up in a hotel somewhere and actually does a lot of the camerawork herself since she got into a tiff with one of the producers back at hearthome city about her previous cameraman being too rude to her pokemon for her own liking. you can find her eavesdropping conversations, writing a ton of notes, or worrying about nat-nat evolving into xatu soon. after all, she evolved hay-hay (her heliolisk) by choice a few years back. this would be her first ‘natural’ evolution, if it were to really happen soon.

current team:

nat-nat ( natu , level 23 ) *partner pokemon

dee-dee ( dedenne , level 34 )

hay-hay ( heliolisk , level 37 )

hallo it is me, ur pal jess! thank u for reading this far. ur lovely <3 hmu if you’d like to plot !

[ratkiing-a]

another one of my fave charlie moments. WHERE JOBS GROW ON JOBBIES !!!!

[irynochka]

this past month or so of (finally?) no Regular jobbie job just production and acting, as the #1 target and priority, has been.. i mean not quite a DREAM, im still fixing my executive function and sleep etc etc but like. getting there. so much further from the hell that was trying to be a “normal” worker in our System. i know i still need to put heavy time in for my pipeline, my portfolio, my preparation, but it’s so much more flexible and self-directed now like I do have internal tears of joy, I’m not where I’d like to be yet but I finally feel FREE to live and grow and actually make “where I want to be” a reality

[jayteacups]

Just found this blog and ur already one of my faves! Could you match up the 104th the vets, and the warriors with a quote from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia? One of my favorite pastimes is to watch out of context compilations of it.

Hello anon! I'm so flattered you're enjoying my blog <3

ofc I can! I've never actually seen It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia so I searched up a list of quotes and went from there 🙈 hope they match! I have no context for any of these quotes lol so I’m sorry if these may seem out of place a little. but these quotes were absolutely hilarious i may check this show out one day lol

AOT x It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Levi - “If you’re dealt a bunch of lemons, you got to take those lemons, and stuff them down somebody’s throat until they see yellow.” Alternative: “I’m relaxing, I’m getting blackout drunk, and you’re leaving me alone.” Alternative alternative: “That is about as low-brow as it gets.”

Erwin - “I don’t appreciate being paraphrased. Now, I choose my words very deliberately.” Alternative: “I will make it work because I'm a genius.” (people then proceed to die.) 

Hange - “My nose was chiseled by the Gods themselves, Frank.” Alternative: “When we get out of this, I'm gonna shove my fist right into your ass, hard and fast...Not in the sexual way! In the 'I am pissed off' sort of way.”

Eren - “I drank three bottles of champagne and hung out with a stray dog all night under a bridge.” (Eren describing his time in Marley be like) Alternative: “You guys all better eat a dick, ’cause sweet Eren just beat the system.”

Mikasa - “We used to be losers, like all of you people.” alternatively “Just so I’m clear, you don’t actually think things are going to come alive because you’re spending the night in a museum, right?”

Armin - “We’re gonna get all in your face and point out your faults.” Alternative: “See, I’ve always got an A, B and C strike plan to get us out of any potentially life-threatening situation.” (those plans then proceed to fail and he has to come up with plan D on the spot) 

Jean - “Oh, get a job? Just get a job? Why don’t I strap on my job helmet and squeeze down into a job cannon and fire off into job land, where jobs grow on jobbies?” Alternative: “Oh whoops, ooh! I dropped my monster condom that I use for my magnum dong!” 

Sasha - “So you saw me eat that Hot Pocket I found in the garbage?” Alternative: “Out of my way, I’ve broken my water. There’s a baby inside of me running out of water.” Alternative alternative: “Can I offer you a nice egg in this trying time?”

Connie - “Let me tell you something. I haven’t even begun to peak. And when I do peak, you’ll know. Because I’m gonna peak so hard that everybody in Philadelphia’s gonna feel it.” Alternatively: “I eat stickers all the time, dude!” Alternatively alternatively: “__, if I was looking for safe I wouldn't be sticking my dick through a wall.” (Many of the quotes that I found did all scream Connie tbh it was hard not to give him a whole list) OK LAST ONE FOR CONNIE “People change, Jean. Look at me: I went from a tiny twink to the muscle-bound freak you see before you.” (Connie after his growth spurt be like) 

Sasha and Connie because they hold one braincell between the two of them: [Holding a calculator] “What are you?”

Historia - “And although I seem relaxed, I’m actually incredibly tense at all times.” Alternative: “Having those other people laugh tells me when I should laugh.” 

Ymir - “Your mother is dead! HA!” / “No no no, that's not gonna help. That's not gonna help and I'll tell you why: It doesn't unbang your Mom.” (you can’t tell me ymir wouldn’t love ‘your mum’ jokes - because it’s not like they can turn the tables, she’d be like ‘lol what mum’) Alternatively “And then he smells crime again, he's out busting heads. Then he's back to the lab for some more full penetration. Smells crime. Back to the lab, full penetration. Crime. Penetration. Crime. Full penetration. Crime. Penetration. And this goes on and on and back and forth for 90 or so minutes until the movie just sort of ends.”

Marco - “What is this word ‘spa?’ I feel like you’re starting to say a word and you’re not finishing it. Are you trying to say spaghetti? Are you taking me for a spaghetti day?” 

Reiner - “It turns out I am – I am too muscular, and I can’t fit through.” (no explanation needed) Alternatively “I’m not gonna be buried in a grave. When I’m dead, just throw me in the trash.” (this one SCREAMS reiner lol) Alternatively alternatively: “I’ll just regress because I feel I’ve made myself perfectly redundant.”

Bertholdt - “Talking to myself, but that’s just ’cause I, you know, I’ve got shit to say, you know?” 

Annie - “I am going to smack everyone into tiny little pieces.” Alternative: “I’m not asking you to do much. Just turn a blind eye while I rob this place stupid.” (This also fits well for ACWNR Levi tbh) Alternative alternative: “IDIOTS! SAVAGES! IDIOTS! IDIOTS!” (Annie to her fellow Warriors - mostly Reiner - at any given moment) 

Zeke - Therapist: "Being comfortable in your own skin is never a bad thing."Zeke: "Okay, so, if I got more skin or something, then I could never do a bad thing in my life, and, maybe, I've never done a bad thing 'cause I have a lot of skin." (Zeke trying to justify his actions be like) 

Pieck - (omg why was she so hard to match up a quote for) “Do not plug an open wound with trash.” (thank u Pieck very helpful) Alternatively: “We set the building on fire, you just happened to catch on fire!” 

Porco - “Who am I supposed to vote for? Am I supposed to vote for the Democrat who’s gonna blast me in the ass or the Republican who’s blasting my ass?” (I don’t know why but I feel like this is something he’d say during election season lmao) Alternative: “This sucks. This sucks a bag of dicks.”

Gabi - “Well, maybe you’re a whore, you stupid, ugly, homeless bitch!” (Gabi to Eren at any given point, ever)  

Falco - “Oh my God! I will...I will smash your face into- into a jelly!”

Bonus

Kenny - “I don’t wanna be his friend, I wanna shoot him in the face.” (and he will.) alternatively: “I hate listening to people's dreams. It is like flipping through a stack of photographs. If I'm not in any of them and nobody is having sex, I just don't care.” Alternative alternative: “It's when you drink so much that everything goes brown. It's not as severe as a black out because I remember bits and pieces. I call it browning out.” 

Floch/Yelena - “If you’re in my room, you’re always being filmed”

[incorrectbridgerton]

Penelope: Get a job.

Colin: Get a job? Just get a job? Why don't I strap on my job helmet and squeeze down into a job cannon and fire off into Jobland where jobs grow on jobbies.