#jobs growing on jobbies

[nerdgirlriot]

Thus ends the busiest 2 days of the year at work. Happy Thanksgiving, folks. I'm wiped.

I hope you'll be kind to all retail workers who have to be at their jobs this weekend.

[kirkwallguy]

extremely funny thing to say given the fact that a significant number of the people who worked on the game were laid off. not even professional game writers are working in the game industry currently lol it's bad out there

[holyviolence]

(RE)WATCHED IN 2023: Just get a job? Why don't I strap on my job helmet, and squeeze myself down into a job cannon, and fire off into Jobland, where jobs grow on jobbies?!

IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA, season three (2007)

[nerdgirlriot]

[blogofloathing]

Part 1 of 1, Edel E'Meyer And The Courts Favor

"I assure you I can handle this all by myself" Edel Erlenmeyer proliferated once more among them.

Even in their oft quietous, she could feel a hurtful doubt in the lot of them, really had she proved nothing to them, at the very least shown that her passion for the subject was greater than anyone's?

Standing behest an overwhelming numeration of blank faces, their cold indifference ran hot on her eyes, ironically beading up droplets of sweat

The room was lit up with harsh white bulbs, which served to shine disconcertingly on her pale skin, and similarly palid hair, allowing each flyaway strand to be disgustingly visible to all in the room,

In which she stood upright rather than sitting down, a stark contrast to the Faceless which had never been seen leaving their seats, she'd be wholly unfazed if they were bolted to the floor.

"concerning the.." a pause, "deaths of all pertinent" another pause, "personnel, we.." the group spoke not in unison, but finished one another's sentences as if having previously rehearsed the scene.

Each word chosen carefully, spoken with precise intonation, "find it.. unwise to continue.."

Seizing the silence that followed she extolled in a mock tone of remembrance "while yes the loss of both head scientists.." stopping for a beat as if to pay a momentary respects to the deceased.

"And in turn both subjects," murmuring ensued among them, each empty face conferring excitably, "however!" She cut in, to stifle the crowd.

"I believe I am perfectly able to continue their work, with the resources leftover" smacking the table she was standing at, it echoed iridly around the spacious hall, resembling a court room more than any proper meeting or office space.

As the quiet conference began again within the multitudes, "I'd like to draw your attention to the chalkboard, generously provided by the school"

Wheeling out a green board, covered in frantic nearly illegible scribbles, numbers and statistics, cartoonish drawings of strange creatures.

Every eye in the audience shifted dramatically to what was explained in white, "here we can see a catalogue of each specimen, while many were destroyed in the.. incident" she extended a pointer

"A good number also go unaccounted for," the discussion between peers seemed to be without end, and Edel didn't even bother attempting to hush their tones again, "while yes a good portion were reduced to unidentifiable puddles of mush"

Smiling under her breath, she had to smother the expressions of mirth as soon as it came, mustn't look too amused at the gorey prospect.

"Undoubtedly some escaped, where they are is a job for the jobbies," her use of such casual terms serving to bring harsh looks down on high.

Really what respect was deserved for those mooks, bumbling facsimiles, if she was successful in gaining her new position, they'd be the first to go..

Edel could sense a growing impatience, and so quickly moved on "but what specimens remain,"

Gesturing to a chart labeled 'contained' with 5 names listed underneath in neat lettering.

"Will be invaluable to my- our work here," alright Edel, give em the line now sink it.

"Imagine!" She shouted with a dramatic flourish, flipping the chalkboard to its back, showcasing a crude drawing of men holding guns "being able to create supersoldiers from nothing!"

Several raised eyebrows and jubilant looks sprang up within the audience at the idea.

Giving the board another spin, she brilliantly showed off a third side, depicting an equally amateur illustration of two men, labeled 'identical'

"replace people who know too much!" Different eyebrows raised, with different jubilant looks between the blanked faces abound.

Almost violently flipping to tbe next side of the board, wherein sat a shockingly detailed diagram of muscle groups and cutting techniques.

"And even fix the ongoing food crisi-" though she stopped herself as disgusted looks rained on her, running back to shelter, best not to overstep now.. clearly she'll have to bring it up another time

While her preamble experiments with cooking and consumption of cloned meat had proved promising, she wasn't surprised at their hesitance.

As far as she could tell, there were no adverse side effects to eating clones, even if it wasn't pretty. Something about wheezing flesh heaps didn't appeal to the general masses apparently.

By their standards at least, Edel herself couldn't imagine something more beautiful than the specimens, creating life and returning it to the earth through sacrifice, calories to calories.

Shaking her head like a dog to throw off these blissful fantasies, she continued with a cough.

"Ahem, anyway, I believe, with the information presented to you all today," looking at the space where an expression would be on anyone else.

It wasn't right to say they looked neutral, or uncaring, it was more like the canvas where a face should lay was replaced with a sharp nothingness.

One which she felt could cut her, while also phasing through, a haunting, confusing picture.

"You will find that it is not only worthwhile, but infact necessary! To continue this work, undoubtedly these prospects seem desirable do they not?" Her voice has somewhat of a sales mogle like quality to it, clearly pre rehearsed

There was a dead quiet, all seemed to be thinking

"Especially to you Bruise" Edel mused pointedly at the cluster she assumed belonged to him.

The concept of disposable machines of war had perked all their ears at attention, so easy to read.

In the way he couldn't quite separate each of them convincingly, where one picked up a pen, another held their hand uselessly in the air, and he couldn't quite get them to talk independently yet.

He thought it went unnoticed, but human behavior was her specialty, going hand in hand with cloning.

"We would rather you.. not refer to our-" the Bruise group began, followed by Terrence's.

"Sorry sorry," putting her hands up surrenderedly. "Really I don't see the point of using the Faceless"

Pointdexter's collection winged noticeably, it was evident they had been his idea,

Certainly she could see the appeal, puppets of flesh to project yourself through,

However this required careful removal of the afflicted's brain, and replacement of such with darkened imitations, a tedious process.

Which Edel presumed she could completely circumvent, creating life only to serve that purpose

While they wanted to alter a person to be serviant, she had the capabilities to engineer life,

tailor made to act in their interests, "in any case, I know you four can see the usefulness"

"And that's just the start of it" she decided to let the sentiment linger for a few moments

Before sealing the deal for good, "I could even take care of that.. pesky nephew issue"

She spoke in a tone almost as if it was an after thought, a footnote to her plans.

The middlemost gaggle of puppets plucked up almost comically, "as in.. Morris..?"

A cautious smile marking trails along their.. well,

Edel smirked deleteriously, teeth sharpened to points, they could almost draw blood speaking alone, with a silver tongue to lap it up.

"Our biggest problem indeed," grinning cheshire in the dim light, the effect compounded by the extra row of biters she had installed herself.

"With my technology, and your support" she had them all around her finger already,

"We can get everything we've ever wanted, with none to stand in the way" images of flesh, spires of bone and overwhelming heaps of organic matter, gorgeous monuments to rebirth, these tantalizing dreams filled her mind, drove her hand.

Living creatures of every kind, a world of life, of pulsing and moving, wriggling and changing.

Where everything would be the ideal, perfection, beings of mastered speciation, full adaptability.

Wherein extinction wasn't a possibility, wherein there was no such thing as death, only birth.

"And any who do, can be fixed, replaced, changed, I can even do the same for all of you, you don't have to rely on your meager components"

Her muscles contracted and hissed at the push of hydraulic systems within her very bones.

Spiders, she had learned it from, complex mechs. Much more efficient than human systems.

"Surely I live as evidence of my claims," she sang, swiveling around, her joints could go in all directions, backwards, forwards, upside down.

"No pain! Well," she snickered not unlike a clown, "at least not anymore, surgery makes one weary of course" rolling her shoulder exaggeratedly

The faceless shifted uncomfortably at her manic outburst, "I've already done so on myself, it's as easy as one simple procedure, I could do it right-"

"Stop, we've heard you out, and we will allow for Project Piebald to continue" a different voice spoke," rendering the center cluster hunched over at their desks as an unseen figure strode in.

Suited in black and with hair that seemed to cling to the air particles as they passed through.

"Ahh, little Margy" she grinned smugly, hands on her chin at the taller woman. Who did not reciprocate the flamboyant attitude presented.

"I've said not to call me that Auntie Edie" bristling at the nickname, her hair looked as though it corresponded to her mood. Growing sharp and pointed when angered, or annoyed by Edel.

"Aww but darling you'll always be my lil-" she cooed, a hand placed on Margaret's chin.

Tilted slightly upturned, she slapped her hand away, garnering surprised looks from the dark glassed men standing just behind her.

Who preformed a dramatically drawn out "oooo" at the apparently exciting drama unfolding.

"Are we all grade schoolers here?" She scolded harshly, eyes running jet black to mirror the gaze of her still animate compatriots in the stands.

"No ma'am-" "sorry-" "of cour-" "won't hap-" they all spoke over each other in a jumbled dog pile.

Literally stumbling in place, grabbing one another for balance and dragging the other down too.

Margaret sighed wearily, exasperated at the scene unfolding just behind her, "see what I mean?" Edel quirked with a hint of sarcasm, lending the darker haired woman to glower sharply at her again

"They're just lackies" yet apparently jobbies was too harsh? she grumbled the words just quiet enough they couldn't hear over their own kerfuffle

"But they get their work done" now Edel was starting to suspect she was lying on purpose.

In any case, sidestepping blatant flanderizing of these idiots, "hopefully mine can do it better"

They smiled at each other, something of their little rivalry amused and annoyed the pair in turn.

"Well I can expect to see you in my office," pausing for a moment to consider the now doubled over bodies juryside, "proper office" she finished.

Extending a hand towards her spunkier colleague, "this isn't final, but I agree to seeing some results"

She shook it confidently, as far as Edel was concerned she had won, set to do as she pleased

Margaret's handshake was firm, but not as strong as it could be, and she'd shaken a lot of hands.

"Happy to be working with you madam president" she replied in a mock tone of authority.

Giggling idly when her face fell at the impression, as Edel's internal systems catalogued and reproduced a model of Marg's fingerprint from the most momentary contact of a handshake

// well there you have it! Our first introduction to the beloved (to some) and the hated (to far more) Edel Erlenmeyer! I'm excited to write more about her and her strange motives, what could she be planning to do with the power she's asking for?

And to end things off we have a very very special happy birthday to send out for a "Gali's Girlfriend" hope you enjoyed this little birthday treat ^w^ !!

[badstepsmoving]

"just get a job? why ... why don't i strap on my job helmet and squeeze down into a job canon and fire off into jobland! where jobs grow on jobbies!!"

always sunny canon dialogue starter, @5chmidt & charlie, accepting.

[worst-pub-in-philly]

“Just get a job? Why don’t I strap on my job helmet, and squeeze down into a job cannon, AND FIRE OFF INTO JOBLAND, WHERE JOBS GROW ON JOBBIES?!!!”

[nessvn]

"oh get a job? just get a job? why don't i strap on my JOB helmet and squeeze down into a JOOOB cannon and fire off into job land where JOBS GROW on JOBBIES??"

[nerdgirlriot]

aahhhhh one of my co-workers recently got employee of the month. She used to be a pre-school teacher and even she says that customers aren't that different from toddlers so...

Nothing helped me in retail quite like talking to customers like children. "do you need help? Oh sure just next time let someone know ok?"

Yep. It took me a long time to master how to do it without sounding like a condescending ass though.

-Rodney

[nerdgirlriot]

work-related stuff i need to get off my chest on this extremely stressful Thanksgiving week and this occupying my brain and making it hard to sleep so...!

arrrrgghh two co-workers are saying they're going to leave if I don't step into a more leadership role in the department bc they hate one of our managers (whom I have a decent work relationship with)

sooooooooooooo the thing is that they've been at the store for a LOT longer than i have. They could've quit ANYTIME. In fact, another former co-worker quit because she couldn't stand the manager in question. I admit that he's not nice, but he gets shit done. Thanksgiving would fall apart without him running the entire thing.

I really dont' think these co-workers know how hard this manager works. They should consider themselves lucky that they don't have to get pulled into the kitchen to pack 100s of pounds of green beans for Thanksgiving meals. And now they're trying to guilt me into taking on more responsibility so they won't leave for another store

how about fucking hell no?

i don't give a shit that you hate this manager. This manager is just telling you to do your damn jobs. These two co-workers open the store so they've got 3 full hours before the store is open to customers and somehow they hardly EVER get any non-customer facing stuff done? how in the fuck? how fucking hard is it to just do what's fucking asked of you and not bitch at me that our manager is "mean" and an "asshole" for telling you to do your fucking jobs?

so our store closes one hour later on the two days before Thanksgiving and one of these co-workers told me that they're scheduled to come in at 6am instead of 5am and then the store opens at 7 so they only have 1 hour before the store opens. so one of them asks, "We only have 1 hour so what are we supposed to do?"

IDK YOUR FUCKING JOBS????????????????????????????????

So as a closer I get all my tasks done and ALSO I deal with customers? like...i do EVERYTHING asked of me and our manager isn't "mean" to me? also how in the fuck is me taking on more responsibility and more work and more stress going to help? Tell me how am I supposed to change this manager's mind when these co-workers have sorta proven over the course of 8+ years that they cannot (or will not) do all the work.

Threaten to leave? Then LEAVE. oh btw they also hated the previous team manager (for, guess what, giving them these same tasks and expecting them to DO THEM) and theywanted to leave before and guess what? They fucking didn't? Move to a different store? Good luck bc you're going to be asked to do the EXACT SAME THING (and maybe even more if the store is busier than ours). that's kinda the point of big store chains. Run all the stores the same and put the same expectations on them all. It's going to be the fucking same shit but you're going to be dealing with a whole new manager who is also probably still going to be "mean" and "an asshole". I fucking guarantee you that our leadership team is the most level-headed and accomodating of all our stores in the area. Source: I've interacted with most of them and a lot of them are more metrics-driven than ours. With them, you're going to have to meet quotas, while I know our managers are fine with doing your best, unless that means not doing anything.

so don't come to me with this shit story and guilt-trip me into doing shit I don't wanna do just cuz you won't do your fucking jobs.

it's two more days to Thanksgiving. No one should expect work to be a walk in the park during the holidays. And if you don't understand that get the fuck out of retail

rant over

[izzy-b-hands]

AH HA

and email from a job that is, unfortunately, a rejection

But they said partially why!!!!

To paraphrase:

while they appreciate i could not have afforded college at all without my scholarship to the university of phoenix from my lit mag teacher (they asked me why i ended up there bc i admitted it was never gonna be on my list of colleges lmao and i gave them the whole backstory so technically they replied to that email but i digress)

they cannot, and believe that no one else, will consider my degree to be real, and that it's actively working against me. accreditation doesn't matter, the name of the school is enough to send my resume to the shredder. They recommended possibly taking it OFF my resume which im not sure abt that tbh, i wanna like. get opinions on that which is part of why im telling yall, to see what that statement elicits

but i appreciate that they told me. Kinda hate that they then said i should find a job that would help fund me going back to school to a 'bigger name and better trusted' institution for 'a better degree' bc while i do what to go back to school someday

i did have to fight the urge to send them the 'jobs grow on jobbies' bit from iasip on that but they aren't wrong. i probably should do that, whenever i can. just like. it's circular bc if they won't hire me bc of this...then how will i make the rest of that scenario happen like

[hawyer-mota]

Oh, get a job? just get a job?

Why don t I strap on my job helmet and squeeze down into a job cannon and fire off into job land where jobs grow on jobbies? 

- Charlie

[sarah-ankh]

Lol, in UK slang, jobbies are turds. Some of these jobs definitely grow on shit.

"You probably shouldn't have taken the job."

- the exact same people who complain when no one wants to take the job anymore

[kleinstar]

❝ Oh, get a job? Just get a job? Why don’t I strap on my job helmet and squeeze into a job cannon and fire off into job land where jobs grow on jobbies?! ❞

im too lazy to go to my archive right now (NOT ACCEPTING)

" Listen... -- enoough of that rant already, what are you a machine gun!!! "

Eiden's definitely inebriated, chugging more inbetween his words.

" You're not thinking creative enough ok? I think I have the best idea you've ever had and that might not be much but look... I might be a genius. "

" You could start a demolition company -- just get people to deal with a paper jobs and and you can do all the boom boom bang stuff!!!! Great isn't it?!! You'd get to demolish buildings legally and better yet - get money from it!!! "

[ratkiing-a]

another one of my fave charlie moments. WHERE JOBS GROW ON JOBBIES !!!!