#If she was real she would be 26 today

[telebeast]

Biiig slice of cake for the most specialist woman in the world

(ID in alt)

[ramonathinks]

matters of the heart — Nanami K.

summary: finding out your ex-boyfriend wrote a novel detailing your relationship isn’t how you expected this week to go and to make matters worse everyone on the internet now thinks your “character” is a total bitch. you decide to pay your ex a visit, but can you do that without succumbing to your natural urges? well, no!

tags: 18+(MDNI/blank blogs) slight porn with plot, oral (f! receiving), brief nipple sucking, daddy kink, creampie, i guess nanami is a bit toxic in this lol, nanami might also be a bit ooc in here

to the moaners: has this been sitting in the draft for about 3-4 months? yes! but happy birthday month, kento 😚. artwork by @/_3aem (twt); @ryomens-vixen (this was the fic I mentioned a while back) word count: 5.6k (yuck), I don't really like this

I’m going to kill him, that was the only thing on your mind once you closed out of the novel. Normally, your weekends were spent relaxing with a fruity bubble-gum colored cocktail but today was different. Shoko called your phone at exactly 9:26 am claiming it was time she divulged some news to you. At exactly 9: 28am, she sent you an online copy of a book titled, “Matters of the Heart” and told you it was nothing but a two or three hour read and then to call once you finished. 

The book had a slow start and it seemed pretty average, just any old love story. Lately, anything was getting published and it seemed that was the case here — wait, you paused your reading and sat up straight. No. Just no. Something just clicked for you which led you to completely start over from page one. 

The moment you finished, at exactly 1:01 pm, you grabbed a salmon colored low cut shirt and light washed jeans, slipped on your white shoes and hurried to get into your car. You didn’t need to call her phone because you were going to talk to her face to face; this situation warranted a real conversation. It was nothing but a 17 minute drive to Shoko’s house, so when you arrived at exactly 1:18 pm, her door was already open. “They’re bashing me, Shoko. Fucking bashing! How could he do this to me?” Were the first words that flew out of your mouth, holding your phone close to her face so that she could see the reviews. 

“Well, it’s not like anyone would know it’s you.” She yawned, handing you a cup of water – probably because of how crazy you looked – before she ushered you to a seat on the couch. A golden brown blanket was lazily thrown on the seat, which she hurried to move. You sat down and faced her with a look of what Shoko could only describe as pure sadness. She had seen you like this many times before, all because of one person. 

“You did.” You sniffled with an eye roll, you couldn’t help but feel uncertain. Reading this book only brought back more uncomfortable feelings towards the breakup and him. You thought that you were over him and the memories that the book produced made you question everything. One question remained which is: Why?

She giggled drily. “Hey, I read all his works. Pseudonym or not. He can’t hide from me. Plus, I know you both and everything that went on. I was there too, remember?” She mumbled the last part. “Maybe this was his way of coping?”

“It’s been years… and I heard he’s announced a sequel. Shoko, a SEQUEL! It’ll be released later this year.” You spoke in a shaking watery voice while she rubbed your back in an attempt of comfort. Your mind could only think of what the reactions would be to your character in the sequel… insecurities that you never knew were there flooded your mind.

“There was enough material for a sequel? I thought he covered everything…” Shoko rubbed her chin and looked deep in thought. You just stared at her, she couldn’t be serious. “Sorry, ignore me.” She shook her head ignoring your stare.

“Do I even confront him over this? A-and how would that make me look, like I still check on him right? I’ll look crazy and bitter… which apparently I am. Oh and I’m bitchy and a ‘total cunt’ as they’re putting online.” He didn’t know just how much you changed, he missed your growth. Rubbing your eyes, you ask:“Why did you tell me about this? What made you take so long… I just don’t understand.”

“Well, at first… I didn’t think you’d care.” Moving a strand of her nut-brown hair out of her face, she continued. “Then about a month ago, I decided it was right to tell you, just in case someone else pieced it together.”

“Gojo read it then, huh?” You mentally cringed at the thought. It was the only person you could think of who’d be so crude about it. He knew how damaging the breakup was for you but not as bad as Shoko knows. Now, you’re just grateful that she told you before he did.

“Yep, so I figured that I had to tell you before he did.” She clicked her tongue. “But let’s just calm down before you make any rash decisions on how to handle this.” 

“He wrote a fucking duality series about me, our relationship, our sex life and you want me to calm down? Are you listening to yourself? This is a serious matter. I am being called a bitch, a slut and more on Goodreads and multiple websites, reviews, etc. and he didn’t even have the audacity to give me a heads up. You had to call me.” You let out an unladylike snort.“Why couldn’t he stick to his mystery novels? Wasn’t he doing good at those?”

“Writer's block.” Shoko said in a singsong-like voice. “He hadn’t written a mystery book since you two broke up and then… he alerted his supporters he wanted to switch things up and then… that was that. Ladies loved it, a big hit. By the way, if you two were really fucking like that I need to se—”

“Shoko, now is not the time!” Your face felt hot all over, your mind racing. “I just can’t believe this.” You wrapped your arms around your body and squeezed, giving yourself one big squeeze. It was hard not to cry but you could feel it all in your throat. 

“I’m sorry. If it makes you feel any better, I don’t think his intentions were to make you feel bad.” She hugged you to her chest, pressing a small kiss to the crown of your head. “I think he still loves you. I mean, isn’t this book proof? After all these years, he wrote about you.” 

“I’m sure he moved on by now.” You whispered, your eyes growing tired already and the day had barely started. “I just need to lay down. I need to rest.” Your mind seemed to finally grow calm and your breathing steady, a small hiccup now in your throat but with a gulp of water, you were better.

“Just stay here. I don’t trust you to be alone right now.” Shoko’s voice drowned out as sleep overtook you, you could only feel her warmth as she held you and honestly it was all you needed at this moment, Shoko always made you feel safe and you couldn’t thank her more than enough for that right now as you slept.

You were a light sleeper, it was always something that Nanami pointed out about you. He always said how he felt like he couldn’t leave the room while you slept even if it was to use the bathroom afraid to wake you. He knew how important sleep was to you and he’d risk having a bladder infection if you got all 8 hours that you required. Nanami was sweet and caring like that. 

You didn’t think you’d break up with him ever. He was the one for you and he always made that clear. He pampered you and even after the breakup – though you didn’t need it – he left you with a check for five thousand dollars, saying it was for his half of the lease for the next few months. 

The breakup was brutal for you. You almost quit working entirely. Shoko was the only person you’d confined into and the only friend you left to check in on you especially when you didn’t want to leave the house. She brought you groceries and helped you shower until you finally were able to get up again.

Though it was hard to believe, it was Nanami who broke up with you. You thought it was a joke, a cliche little joke. 

“Baby, I’m not joking.” His voice was quiet and husky, he spoke as if he was going to cry. “I just need some time to myself. I need to figure out if this is what I want. You don’t have to wait for me, you just keep on living your life and being happy. But… I think it’s time we let this go.” 

You didn’t cry in front of him. You didn’t cry when he packed his things up. You certainly didn’t cry when he shut the door, leaving his key on the table because you knew he was joking. He had to be. But when you called him and his number was disconnected and you were blocked on any form of social media… that was when you broke down and cried. 

It happened out of nowhere. You overanalyzed every aspect of your relationship for where you went wrong. You wrote down every conversation you could remember and dissected it word by word. You watched every video and picture you had of the two of you looking for a bit of regret or anything on his face. You read every text message, looking for malice. He said he needed time to figure out if he wanted this but he always made it clear that he did and even that he was looking forward to having kids together, you two had even gone ring shopping months ago. 

You didn’t sleep and when you did, it was only for 4 hours and sometimes barely that. Your heart had an ache in it and the tears wouldn’t stop. You could only think why wasn’t I enough?

When you opened your eyes Shoko was still holding you and a small smile grew on your lips. “Thank you Shoko.” You knew if you could count on anyone, it was always going to be her. She was the one who pieced you back together and made sure that life didn’t destroy you and you couldn’t help but to be grateful. 

“Of course. ‘M going to let you spend the night here, okay? Let’s get some takeout and watch your favorite movies, how’s that sound?” She knew the way to your aching heart like the back of her hand. 

“It sounds amazing!” You stretched your arms out wide, leaning off of her and sitting up. “Should we start with Uptown Girls or Legally Blonde?” 

It took two days before you confronted him. Shoko was adamant about not giving you his address and you were tempted to get it from her phone. But luckily, you wore her down, she was probably tired of you bringing him or his book in every conversation. So now you stood there, nerves washing over you in waves.

The mahogany colored door stared at you – mocked you – and you returned the glare before you knocked on it, hard. This was just a door and you were angry at the person behind said door, not the door itself. 

It was almost like he was waiting on you because the door unlocked and opened. He even stepped aside to let you in, quiet. His straw-colored hair was parted differently and he even looked taller or broader – you couldn’t completely tell – but he looked different… seemed different. The atmosphere around him made your stomach clench and it made you mad; why did it feel like only you suffered from the breakup? Here he was – strong and tall – and you were nothing or rather the same.

“You wrote a romance erotica novel about our relationship?” It was what you practiced saying before you got out of your car – making sure your voice didn’t tremble – this time, it didn’t. 

“Well, hello to you too. Even after three and a half years, you still like to get straight to the point.” He grinned, putting a hand on your back to guide you to a seat on his couch. “I must ask, what makes you think it’s about you?” He does a slight laugh and raises his brow.

“We have the same initials, almost the same name. Are you kidding me?” You retort, folding your arms across your chest. You tried to ignore the fuzzy feeling in your chest that occurred when you heard his voice after so long, hearing him and seeing that damned smile… your nose scrunched up.

“Sorry, I just didn’t know you kept up with me… with my books…” He muttered, glancing your way, a demure look in his amber eyes. “Should I be flattered?” Almost in an instant, he turned on a slight cockiness to himself, though his body language showed his nervousness – his thigh bouncing a bit and his fingers tapping on the couch handle. A light sense of relief filled your system knowing that you weren’t the only one being affected by this.

“I don’t.” You inhaled deeply. “Shoko told me about it and then, I checked it out.” Fiddling with your fingers and even picking at your nails, that was your tell all sign of nervousness and right now you were engaging in it more than ever before. 

“I wanted to tell you or rather, to ask you. I know you got the voicemails I sent last year…and then you kept dodging my calls.” He tells you, you could feel his eyes on you – or more so your fingers… the nasty habit that he had finally got you to stop all those years ago rushing right back in an instant.

“Writing a book to trash me and our relationship… to make you look like some sort of… ugh, like you’re so amazing and I’m just shit. Yeah, that certainly got my attention.” If you were coming off bitchy or rude right there, you couldn’t care less especially when there were worse things that you could’ve said or even could’ve done at this moment. You really wanted to slap him. 

“Is that all you got out of it?” He asks with his head low, almost as if he was admitting defeat or as if he couldn’t believe you came up with something so trivial. 

“Was there anything else to get?” You counter, shifting your body towards him. Maybe it was best that you sat down and actually listened to the author and his interpretations of his work.

“How about that I love you regardless of any flaws… how about I find your stubbornness and attitude sexy and how I knew this breakup would be good for you. I was holding you back. I mean, I heard you got promoted 3 times since we broke up… I just felt like I was changing you, hindering your growth. I needed to reflect on myself and this book helped that.” He tapped his fingers against his thigh, yet another sign of his anxiousness. “Believe it or not, I still care about you. No matter what happened between us.”

“What happened? You mean when you decided to just leave? You could've told me everything you just told me and I would’ve understood better. We could’ve talked and came to a compromise. You don’t understand what you put me through after it.” You were close to tears but you straighten your posture and sniffled, it was best not to think about what happened before. “I just needed a bit of closure too, I guess that’s why I came. I just was caught off guard. You could’ve knocked on my door or something, forced me to answer… forced me to talk.”

He met your eye for the first time since you came over. “You wouldn’t have listened,” He huffs. “Didn’t I mention how stubborn you are? Plus, I meant what I said. I needed time to myself and I think we both did.”

“I guess…But Nanami, this book was too much. A letter would’ve been fine if you needed closure, don’t you think?” You see his lips quirk up a bit before he licks them, trying not to laugh it seems.

“My publisher got a hold of some of the documents where I was just going over things, writing here and there. She loved the idea… plus I’m in a contract for six books so I had to put something out soon, it had already been a year.” He told you, sitting his chin on top of his knuckles. “I honestly didn't mean to hurt you. I was writing for fun… reminiscing about us and then later down the line, I realized I was writing because I wanted you to read it, I just didn’t exactly know how to get you to since you were very adamant on avoiding me, which is understandable. But regardless, I didn’t think it’d get on the bestseller list or for the reviews to get so harsh.” He admits, reaching for your hand before his hand froze in midair and he stopped himself, choosing instead to put it behind his head.

“Is there anyway you can stop the sequel from being published then… since you got my attention after all this time?” You asked, putting your most dazzling smile on, hoping to sway him. 

“I can talk to my publisher. Everything’s in print and materials are already done… but I’ll try to see if I can stop production.” His adam’s apple bobbles when he does a harsh swallow. “Are we… okay? Do you forgive me?”

The question made you pause. He always made it hard for you to not forgive him; it took one look or a smile and a small explanation and it made it easy to fall in love with him all over again, no matter what he did… it seems. But it made you ask yourself: Were you too easy? Did you really forgive him? It was thoughts like that swirling around the corners of your mind. You wanted to forgive him, he was just writing and telling a story… but it was your story, not just his. Using this for your attention when he could’ve written about anything else, he didn’t have to. Were you just ready to forgive him because you still loved him? 

You hadn’t realized how deep in thought you were until you felt the couch dip and even then, your mind was still spirling.“You don’t have to…” His voice brings you out of your thoughts, his body so close to yours that it was getting hard to breathe. He still smelled the same; citrus and woodsy and it was easy to get yourself sucked back in. 

“So you can write another book about my stubbornness?” You give a quiet giggle, scooting a bit away from him, seeing him frown from the corner of your eyes. You didn’t want to fall back but he made it all so simple. It was easy and you were already falling back on him and you didn’t need that… Did you?

“Baby…” Your body buzzed and hummed, turning to him with wide eyes. “I’ll do anything I can to make this right. Anything for you to forgive me… If they can’t stop publication, what can I do to make us right?” He was doing more than a gaze, he was full on staring and from how close he was it was hard to avoid. 

“Nanami I–” You stopped yourself. You couldn’t really think of anything he could do but you could think of several unhealthy things you could do to ruin your progress on going over him. He had betrayed you and made you a laughing stock so why are you stuck thinking about forgiveness when you should be leaving.

“I never stopped loving you.” His fingers traced up and down your pants but his eyes stayed on yours. “I never thought about anyone but you… I never slept with anyone… it’s always been you. But, I understand what I put you through and I’ll apologize every second until you forgive me…” The blond man who you never saw shed a tear looked more than close to it. “But just please… forgive me.”

“I’m sorry, honest.” He tries again after being met with absolute silence. “Just… let me show you, okay?” His breath tickles your face for a second and when you look into his cocoa brown eyes, you feel everything you once felt again.

Memories of good times dulls out the odd feelings in the pit of your stomach – the confusion and pain – instead are replaced with joy. The trip to Malaysia where he rubbed sunscreen on your entire body and laid back to read a book and you watched as his eyes kept drifting to you while you played in the cerulean water; how you kept begging him to come in until he complied and how eventually in the early hours of the morning when you wanted another dip, he fucked you twice — once in the golden lush sand and another in the cool ocean water. 

His face is in your thighs and you couldn’t help but feel better, feeling his breath fanning so close to your pants covered pussy, your body felt scorching hot. He’s grumbling, “Will you let me make it up to you? Will you let me show you how sorry I am?” 

You must’ve nodded because he was already unbuttoning your pants and helping you lay back, pulling your shirt up just a bit to see your perky tits – he must’ve remembered how you never wore bras unless you felt it was necessary, which was mainly work or any important events. 

He blew a bit on your hardening nipples before he took one into his mouth – playing biting them with a smug look on his face before he began licking around your areolas and kissing around the swells of your breast. He doesn’t say anything but he looks deep in thought as he kisses down your body, his fingers scraping down your sides as he works your pants and your panties all the way down. Bringing his head up for a minute, he looks in your face. “I love you.” He says it simply, heavy emotions swirling in his brown eyes.

Removing your pants and underwear completely from your body, he spreads your thighs and looks over your body – a trimmed low pretty bush sits between your thighs and it makes him smile, he always loved seeing the curled hair on your delicate lower lips. He spreads your pussy, watching the skin stretch with a deep smile on his face. You could feel yourself … the wetness leaking down under your body and it made you cringe, but the way he was staring at you made the insecurities vanish. “All this for me?” He takes a tentative lick before he slurps, clutching your hips. “I know you like to run… but I need you to stay put, got it?” It was hard for you to listen to him, your head already fuzzy and the thoughts swirling around were only about him, nothing more. 

Then your body bucks up, “Wait–!” A broken moan escapes your mouth when he presses a soft wet kiss to your clit. Nanami had always been gentle and very careful whenever he ate you out; making sure his tongue was wet enough and that he wasn’t too rough. His tongue was wide enough to make your back arch, your body leaving the couch when it finally hit your clit and he gave you no time to recover before he peeled back the hood, sitting the tip of his tongue there and rapidly flicked at the bud. 

Hearing the lewd squelching noises coming from the mixture of your cunt and his mouth made you close your eyes, squeezing them shut tightly. He spits before he licks it up and down your aching slit, nudging his tongue inside only slightly, much to your dismay. You’re gasping every second when more of his tongue slips in and out of your pussy; sliding a bit more each time and it makes your thighs shake. When he finally slips his entire tongue inside of you, curling it just enough that you can feel it everywhere, your legs attempt to close up around his head. “Please– ‘m so… soo–oh…” His fingers join in on the fun and in small sloppy circles he rubs your clit, pressing down on the pearl while his tongue continues flicking inside of you. The split second that you open your eyes, his are already on yours and it was that moment, that made your body tense up and for you to cum. 

It happens fast, clear sticky wetness leaks out of you and Nanami still tries to get more of it on his tongue, catching anything that drips and sucking on your folds. “Always so fucking good…” He mutters, spreading you again and smearing more of your slick on his face by shaking his head between your thighs, so that he’s completely covered in you. 

When he moves his head, embarrassment comes over you, looking at his wet face… even his forehead was wet and you couldn’t bring yourself to meet his eyes. “Nothing to be embarrassed about, baby but… I’ll be right back, stay wet for me.”

Your heart hammers against your chest, lying there on this now wet couch. You didn’t come over here for this and yet here you are… about to get fucked and really, it was no turning back now. You’d been on dates with men after Nanami but they never lasted past the second date and you certainly hadn’t had sex in a while, but he made you come apart like it was nothing.  

But then again, Nanami knew your body… so of course this was a walk in the park for him. It honestly annoyed you right now, you couldn’t even make yourself cum half the time especially these last few years and now, barely an hour here and he has you right where he wanted you… bare and practically back in love with him.

Nanami came back with a fresh face and unbuttoned pants that he was currently pulling down. You clenched around nothing, your mind thinking only of the perfect dick that was going to be coming out of those pants. You licked your lips, this would be the first dick you saw in years and it was his. 

His drooling cock slapped his stomach and you swallowed, your mouth felt unreasonably dry. The length of his cock always impressed you, standing tall at seven and a half inches, he shakes with laughter which snaps you out of your daze. “Now let me look at you.” His whispers and even though he already saw you, both years ago and right now, you can’t help but feel hot all over again. He’s staring – drawing his eyes down every inch of your body –  focusing on your breast before getting to the stare of the show yet again. He smirks, laying you back down, pressing his body against yours to kiss you. 

Your breath was caught in your throat, his tongue still tasted of you and his hands cups your jaw. He’s gentle, his tongue moving around your mouth messily before he stops, saliva breaking apart when he does so. His fingers make a ghostly featherlight touch on your clit that makes you jump, the head of his cock at your entrance. He holds out his hand, close to your mouth. “Spit.” Gathering up some, you spit in the palm of his hand and stroke it along his length, huffing at the sensation. 

He pushes in, taking his time to work himself inside of you, a strained expression on his face. Hips pulled back, he focuses more on just the tip of himself fucking you, watching your pussy stretch with just the tiniest bit of resistance. Inching himself inside, you watch his torso flex and he groans, obscene noises plop and plap around the apartment, his heavy cock pushing in and out of you, your toes curling. 

“Pussy still mines, right? Didn’t give it away, did you?” You’re struggling to talk - to fucking breathe - your eyes rolling back and your jaw slacked but you babble out a soft ‘no’ which makes him finally thrust in you harder, completely bottoming out. You feel him in your belly, feeling full and embarrassingly wide with him stretching you out, his balls sitting on the crest of your ass before he moves. 

He moves you a bit, your bodies flush to each other and he moves his hips in harsh circles, his pelvis so close to your clit. His hands on your calves, he pushes your legs so that they rest on his shoulders, your knees touching your ears makes you tighten up and he groans above you.

“Nanami I-” You call out, eyes closed with pleasure shaking through your core, wetness slapping between the both of you. 

“Nanami? No, call me what you used to call me.” His hips slowed down, a whine escaping your lips. His cock dragging inside of your walls, pulling out slowly, awaiting your response. 

“Please…don’t slow down, Ken—” before the word even left your lips, his hand slapped your cunt, leaving your legs shaking a bit and your eyes snapping open. Drops of tears run down your cheeks and you sniffle, reaching for him… you couldn’t help but feel so small in his presence.

“Say it.” Then, you knew what he meant. A name that now feels foreign in your brain and even when it leaves your mouth, it comes out in a strange rattled whimper.

“Oh, oh… daddy, ‘m sorry. Please, keep fucking me. It’s so goooood!” He’s grinning before the words leave your mouth.

“Still my good girl huh? Always so fucking good for daddy.” He licks up your neck and it makes you tremble, your tongue lolling out a bit and he moves to suckle on it. “Did you skip over all those sex scenes or did you rub this pussy out to them?” He asks, his fingers digging in the back of your thighs. 

You choked out, sobbing, “I did, daddy… But I-I don’t want to remember everything.” 

“You don’t remember all the words I used to describe this cunt? This pretty pussy? That changed his life… my life? That made him always crawl back? That made him so fucking hard? The pretty words I used to describe you? To describe how pretty she always looked when he fucked her? How his heart felt like it was going to explode when she looked at him too long because he loved her so damn much?” He’s groaning in your ear, thrusting into you, his depth reaching your g-spot, your pussy spasming and begging for his cum at every word he uttered. 

Pumping himself inside, you could see the white creaminess that was on his cock, most likely because of you, he was constantly fucking the cream inside of you, your nails digged into his arms and he moaned at the feeling. Your stomach tightens and you move to push him away, “I’m going to c–cum!” You felt him throbbing inside of you, signaling that he was close too. “Please, cum inside of me… I can’t take it.” You couldn’t stand it any longer, it’s been years and you needed him to fill you up. He stopped for a moment, changing positions so that you’ll be sitting on his lap, grabbing your hips and forcibly bouncing you on his dick, dangerously slow. 

Wetness gushes on him as his tip hits you from a new angle, seeing the outline of him in your tummy, he’s stretching you again with each nasty thrust. Each drag of his cock making you go crazy and the aching between your legs continue, your body shaking and both of you moaning loudly and over each other. 

Finally, your orgasm rattled and shook your entire body, your pussy sucking him in, milking him for all he’s worth and it makes his body shake and he releases inside of you, trying to stay quiet as his body jerks up, unable to stop himself from fucking you through both of your orgasms.

It’s quiet for a while, just heavy breathing with you laying on his chest. “I love you too…” Your voice is scratchy and your face tear stained. He doesn’t say anything, his cock still pulsing inside of you.

“I know. I love you too, never stopped.” 

“Did you at least read the acknowledgements or did you just dive right in?”

“I never read the acknowledgements for books, thought you would’ve remembered that.” You watch him get up, walking around the living room, looking for something. You were both still naked and the entire room smelled of sex. 

“I did remember that and when you barged in my door, I already knew that you still hadn’t changed when it came to that. Here, read this part right here.” He brings you over a copy and you run your fingers around the softback cover with a small smile on your face; this silly thing had brought you both back together and right now you could give less than a fuck about those reviews. 

Feeling the spine of the book, you open it and can practically smell the scent of an unopened new book. Turning the first few pages, you go to the one page acknowledgment and read it aloud: “She might not read this book. But if she does, by chance. I hope she knows that I still love her.” You wiped your eyes and smiled. “You’re an asshole, you know?”

He lets out a hearty laugh, “I know baby.” Kissing the top of your head, he gets up and grabs his phone from the kitchen counter and you follow him. “I think I have enough material to write a third book now.” He grabs his phone and starts typing, his eyebrows furrowed as if he was deep in thought. Attempting to grab his phone he chuckles and uses his height to his advantage by standing taller.

Standing on the tips of your toes you snort, “Don’t even joke about that!” But a smile takes over your face and he can’t help but smile too. 

[corkinavoid]

DPxDC Danny Is A Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

(not in a necessarily bad way and it's by Clockwork's design)

Bats, or Constantine, or the JL, or whoever you want to be close to Danny in this prompt, don't notice it right away. It takes them a while to figure out its not purely coincidence. And even after they do figure it out, they still have their doubts.

The thing is, it doesn't work all the time. It also doesn't seem to have a system or a schedule to it, nor is it any kind of a superpower, as far as they can understand. By God, does Danny have way too many superpowers, but most of them are consistent, and yet this one... is weird. Weirder than anything they've seen before, and they've seen a lot, okay.

It also only works if Danny does it without thinking.

"You know what'd be perfect right now? A cheese sandwich," Danny says over the comms, in the middle of the fight with Dr. Freeze, "A warm, grilled cheese sandwich just out of the toas- Owch, what?" There's a pause. And then, "Guys, you're not gonna believe it, a cheese sandwich just smacked me in the face! I think someone threw it out of the window or something!" Danny sounds bewildered, but excited, and there's a sound of chewing from his comm now. At least he is eating, so that's good.

"I fucking hate robots," he grumbles the other day, punching his way through the Brainiac invasion in Metropolis, with no comm and only for the Supes to overhear, "No, correction, I hate only evil robots. The ones that interrupt my astronomy class. The ones that shoot motherfucking lasers and walk like crabs, and ruin a perfect day, and- I wish- aw, fuck, no, that's bad wording. Don't wish for shit. But if all these robots would just suddenly, miraculously malfunction and stop attacking me and the whole city, that would be, like, real nice of them."

A few minutes later, something goes wrong with the Brainiac's control over the army of robots, and all of them just stop moving and fall down at once. It is deemed as a chance, a lucky shot, a coincidence. Supes keeps quiet over what he heard Danny say.

"Oh, you bitch-ass fruitloop, you know what I want?" Danny yells at Plasmius, as the ghost is laughing like a madman, "I want a fucking brick to fall down right on your head, like, right now! Maybe that can set your brains straight for at least five minutes!" And even before he is finished talking, there's something falling down from the sky and hitting Plasmius's head. It's not a brick, to be exact, it's Miss Martian's shoe, though. She has no idea how it even came undone and fell from her foot. But it did somehow knock Plasmius out cold, so there's that.

It doesn't happen all the time. Red Robin does the math - the improbable accidents only happen in about 26% of the situations, given that Danny says something. It's by no means a reliable power. It also doesn't happen only during the fights: there were numerous times when Danny just said something like 'I wonder if the cafeteria serves garlic bread today' and sure enough, there's garlic bread there. Even if it was not on the menu. Ever.

They try to question Danny himself, but he has no idea. He doesn't even notice the coincidences most of the times - which is not surprising, knowing that they only happen in one out of four situations and Danny is known to have a short attention span. So, after a few unsuccessful investigations and failed attempts at calculating how this even works, they all give up. It has never jinxed anything, as far as they know, so everyone just leaves it be.

Danny is just magically lucky like that.

Meanwhile, Clockwork is having a good laugh about it. Danny's suggestions amuse him, and it's funny to watch the other superheroes having a mental breakdown over it, so he rigs the timeline from time to time. Just a little.

[chaussetteblanche]

and they were roommates pt. 2

pairing : Spencer Reid x fem!student!roommate!reader summary : the BAU team works the case, you get to help word count : 2.3k warning : canon-typical violence, mention of violence and sexual violence A/N : thank you all so much for all the love on part 1 of this !!! I love getting feedback, it's incredibly motivating ! I will probably do a part 3 :)) Also, my cat is sitting next to me as I write this, which I find quite funny

part 1, part 3, part 4

Back at the police station, Spencer had trouble focusing on the case. His mind kept wandering over to you, wondering what you were doing, how you were doing. He was on edge and the entire team could feel it. Hotch pulled him to the side to ask him if he wanted to give you a phone call. Reid refused, but settled on sending you a text, something he never usually did while working. Something he never usually did because he wasn't the biggest fan of technology and also because he couldn't decipher how you were actually feeling without hearing your voice and all the quirks in the way you spoke which gave away your real feelings.

Sent by Dr. Ironed Socks : < Hey. How are you doing? > Sent by You : < Ok, I'm having a tea on the couch. Geoff is in REM sleep on my lap. Thx for checking <3 >

Your text was followed by a pixelly picture of your slightly overweight (Spencer couldn't use that term to describe Geoffrey around you or you'd get upset) orange cat sprawled out on your lap, legs and arms askew, fast asleep. Spencer felt a small wave of relief spread through him. You were okay for now. Geoffrey was looking after you. Later, he'd help you process and give you all the tools necessary to get over such a traumatic event and move on. It was almost as if that was in his job description.

Returning to the room where the BAU team had settled in, Spencer sent Hotch a grateful nod. Hotch moved his lips in what resembled a small smile, Reid couldn't be sure. "Okay," Garcia's voice resounded from the speaker sitting in the middle of the round table, "I've contacted all of Mary Goldman's professors and it turns out she didn't go to class today. Her first class was at 11:30 but she never showed up." "None of the students we interrogated on campus had seen her after 10:15," Emily spoke up. "Spencer's roommate saw her between 10:30 and 11:00," Rossi intervened. "Okay, we'll get her to come in," Hotch affirmed. Spencer's whole body tensed. You had been the last person to see the victim. His mind was so busy reeling, thinking about everything you'd have to go through as the most promising witness, that he missed Morgan's question.

"Reid?" Derek raised an eyebrow. "Uh, sorry, what did you say?" "What was the time of death according to the coroner?" "14:30," Rossi answered. "It was 14:26, actually," corrected Reid. Rossi rolled his eyes. "Okay, so the unsub has his victim between around, let's say 11:15, and 14:26," Rossi shot a pointed look at Spencer, "that's about three hours and 11 minutes. In those three hours, he had time to take the victim someplace where neither of them would be seen or heard, beat and sexually assault her, and finally dump her in smack-dab in front of the university." "He's definitely organised and wants to send a message," Emily thought aloud. "But what is he trying to say? Look at what I can do? You can't stop me?" "Friends," interrupted Garcia, "I'm going to need at least some information before I even try to get anything out of a search. He's taking and leaving them on campus, so I'm guessing he doesn't necessarily need a vehicle. Does he live in the area?" "Yes, he's local or knows the area, he knows these women and he most likely knows the campus. Search for white males, early twenties with a record of violence and sexual misconduct. Cross-reference that with victims of reported abuse and sexual abuse in the last twenty five years. Run background checks for all university staff. Also have a look at similar victims and MOs in this area in the last five years. This may not be his first time," spoke Hotch. "On it, I'll get back to you when I've found something." "Thanks, Garcia."

You'd taken a shower as soon as you'd arrived home. The water was too hot and you'd scrubbed your skin too hard but getting out, you felt a slight bit better. Heavily disliking the way you still felt, you opted for a cup of Earl Grey tea with milk and sugar. Settling on the couch with a steaming cup in your hands, you tucked your legs beneath you and sighed.

Images of Mary's dead body were printed onto the inside of your eyelids. You still couldn't believe it. Your mind reeled as you tried to think of an explanation for it all. Whichever path you followed, you came up empty. You could not comprehend or imagine any reason of taking the life of an innocent person, especially in such a violent way. Luckily for you, you still didn't know the extent of the violence.

A familiar noise pulled you from your dark thoughts. Geoffrey had just jumped down from his cat tree. You watched him stretch and languidly walk over to you. He meowed once before jumping onto the couch, right next to you. You moved your legs so that you were sitting cross-legged and scratched his head. He purred in delight and pressed himself against you. He sniffed at your tea with an unimpressed look before climbing into your lap before letting himself flop down on his side, stretching out his appendages. You cooed as his pink toe-beans stretched too and laid a hand on his belly, scratching gently. The vibrations of his purrs had a calming effect on you. "Are you trying to make me forgive you for biting my ankle the other day when I wouldn't give you any more treats? You know Spencer says you're a bit overweight, I was just trying to get him to stop body-shaming you, my love..."

A few minutes later, you get a text from Spencer. About thirty minutes after that, you get a phone call from him. "Hey, would you mind coming to the station? It turns out you're the last person to have seen the victim."

"I'll do the cognitive interview." "Reid, I don't think that's a good idea." "Look, yes I'm invested, I know that. But I also know her and-" "Reid, no. This is the reason we such have procedures." "But I-" "Reid." Hotchner's tone translated finality. Spencer's shoulders sank in defeat. He had figured that if he had been the one conducting the interview, maybe it would have been less traumatic for you. He hated the idea of not being there for you, with you, during such a trying moment. He bit his bottom lip.

"I'll do it," volunteered Morgan. Reid felt slight comfort at that, Morgan was one of the few people he would entrust his life to. He could entrust you to him for the interview, even if he didn't like it. Hotchner nodded. "Reid, you work with Garcia, focus on finding other victims with the same MO to help build the profile." Reid nodded and went to find his colleagues.

When you entered the police station, it was almost like he could feel your presence. He came to find you straight away, not wanting to leave alone even for a second. "Hey." "Hey." Reid immediately pulled you in for a meaningful embrace, burying his face in your hair. The smell of your shampoo, conditionner and body wash were bliss to his nostrils. They were a promise that you were here, you were safe, you were okay. Morgan watched from afar, a small smile playing at his lips. He knew Reid, and the hug you exchanged was both too hasty and too tight to be anything casual. "Are you okay? I'm so sorry to have to make you come in, but they're going to do- well I wanted to do it but they wouldn't let me, so it's-"

A slightly older, very muscular and gentle man stepped forward, holding out his hand to you. You shook it. "I'm Agent Derek Morgan. I'm one of Spencer's colleagues. I'll be the one conducting the interview, seeing as there's a conflict of interest with you and Spencer. I hope you can understand that." You introduced yourself and looked at Spencer before answering Derek. "Yes, I understand, it's- it's not a problem." "Great, if you could just follow me, please?" You licked your lips and sent Spencer a look, which he answers with a nod of reassurance and a small smile, before following Derek.

"You can close your eyes if it makes you more comfortable." You were sat in an uncomfortable plastic chair. The light above you was ticking at uneven intervals and the room smelt of worry. You didn't know how you could get any more comfortable, but listening to Morgan's even, alto voice helped a bit. "Okay." You closed your eyes. "You told Agent Rossi that you crossed the victim somewhere around quarter to eleven. Is that correct?" "Uh, yes." "Where did you cross her?" "In the main hall." "Where were you going?" "Um, I had just been to the bathroom and I was heading to my Anglo-American Literary Survey class." "Okay, can you describe to me everything about the moment when you crossed the victim? What you saw, what you felt, smelled, heard? Was anything out of the ordinary?" You opened your eyes.

"Um, I'm sorry, but could you stop referring to Mary as the victim, please? She has a name, which is Mary Goldman, and a victim wasn't the only thing she was." Derek was slightly surprised at your comment but understood where you came from. Separating from the name was a way for profilers to gain some distance from the horrendous violence. Personally knowing the victim, you didn't have such luxury. "Of course, I apologise. What did you feel when you crossed Mary? Was anything out of place?"

You nodded in thanks and tried to bring yourself back to that moment. It seemed unreal, how such a small interaction suddenly held such importance. "O-Okay, uh, my hands are still a bit wet. There weren't any towels in the bathroom. I saw her after she saw me and we exchanged a smile. I thought she looked really pretty today, but I didn't tell her. We really don't know each other that well." "Okay, that's good. Was she wearing anything out of habit for her?" "Uhh, no, she was wearing a pleated skirt and a sweater vest. She often dresses like that, I don't know exactly why I thought she looked pretty. I guess she just looked happy. Nothing was out of the ordinary." "Good. Could you hear or smell anything?" "Yeah, well, there were the voices of other people in the hall. I can hear girls laughing. I smell Mary's perfume when she walks past me. She always wears the same one, it's Chanel, Mademoiselle Coco specifically, she told me once at a party."

"Okay, do you know where she's going?" "I- yeah, she's heading for her Behavioural Neuroscience class." "Is she walking in the right direction?" "Uh... Yes, yes, she is. She's not in too much of a hurry, though, she doesn't like the teacher." "So why is she heading there already, then? The class only starts at 11:30." "She likes to reread the material from the previous week before the class starts." "Why doesn't she like the teacher?" "No one does, all he does is read off his slides and he's a jerk when it comes to grading."

Morgan suppressed a smile at your comment. "Okay, thank you so much, Y/N, this was very helpful." "Was it? I didn't feel like-" "Yes, I promise you've just shared some crucial pieces of information." "O-Okay, if you say so."

All eyes were on Morgan as he entered the briefing room. He put his paper coffee cup down on the table and looked at Hotch. "Nothing was out of the ordinary. Mary was wearing habitual clothes and the same perfume she always wore. She was heading to the same class, as she did weekly, at the same time. My guess is this guy knew her routine and did a blitz attack. Y/N gave me the number of Mary's best friend, and according to her, Mary didn't have any guys in her life except for her dad and brother."

Hotchner nodded. Spencer couldn't help but feeling proud of you for being able to go through with the interview and to provide such useful information, too. He'd have to congratulate you when he got home. "Pretty boy and I found three similar victims in the last three years. They weren't connected to this case because they were in another university, just on the other side of the state line. Last year, three girls, university students, were killed, same MO, all disappeared for about three hours before being found dead in front of the university, they attended," Garcia spoke from the speaker. Spencer nodded in agreement to her words. "What did the police find back then?" asked Emily. "Nothing, they- uh, did all they could during the month that the three murders happened but after the third victim, the unsub stopped," Spencer answered. "Stopped?" Emily repeated, brows drawn together in confusion. "Yeah, he just- stopped killing and disappeared. Our best guess is that something triggered him then and that the same thing triggered him now."

"Oh, another thing," Garcia sounded reluctant to share the information she had, "I looked at all the victims' pictures and... well, I'll just send them to you, that'll be easier."

Spencer's blood ran ice cold as he stared at the four girls on the screen. They all looked exactly like you.

Taglist : (all those of you who wanted a part two <3) @princess-ofthe-pages @usuck @theylovemelody @empressgraytea @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx @lillianacristina

[aloesarchives]

Toji Fushiguro General/Relationship Headcanons #1

TW/Warnings: Profanity, Domesticity, AFAB/Female Reader, the talks of starting a family, little bit of married life (LMK if anything else needs to be tagged)

Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x Fem!Reader

Pronouns: She/Her (Usage of female gendered terms like Sweet Girl, Woman, Princess)

Word Count: 6.6k words

So these head canons exist for all versions of Toji that I write. However, these are more based around Modern/Non-Sorcerer Au and my personal ‘Toji Lives’ Au. But these are also stand alone because they are some general stuff I think about for Toji in general and his relationship with reader. I’m doing a separate head canons where it’s mainly family/domestic fluff with Megumi and Tsumiki. Maybe making more parts if I have more head canons.

Also, I'm starting to plan out the parts for my Toji x Reader/Megumi x Reader mini series. I'll release a google form for those who are interested in the mini series and another one for the continuations of my Suguru x Reader/Satoru x Reader one-shot. So stay tune for any updates in the upcoming weeks!

!!Not proofread and unedited!! 2/22/24 11:26 pm CST

One thing’s more certain, when you first met Toji, you didn’t fall in love right away. Your relationship with Toji was something gradual, building up over time as you kept running into him. 

One of your most notable encounters happened in the grocery store you always go to and see him at. Your fridge was getting empty as per usual so you came today to fully stock it. As you were nearing the end of your trip, you stopped by the meat section to grab some meat for tonight’s dinner. Normally, you prefer your local butcher’s but they were on vacation so this would have to do. As you were going to reach for one, another hand reached for the same one, a much larger hand. You quickly retracted and apologized to the individual when you saw Toji smirking at you. The two of you talked for a bit before your eyes wandered towards his basket. It had barely anything in it, to you at least. There were some canned drinks, minimal vegetables, a bag of chips, like a loaf of bread.

“Are you picking some things for your pantry, Toji?”

“Nah, this is my food.”

“For today?”

“For this week.”

You stand there absolutely stunned. By the looks of his nonchalant expression, he was not joking. You didn’t want to ask him if this is how much he can afford to not make him feel embarrassed. So you invited him to your place for dinner and to cook for him. Toji's insistence on declining was strong, but your persistence for him to eat was even stronger. Adding Toji’s grocery and paying for everything. Toji carries the groceries to your place and you both enjoy a warm filling meal for him. The man had never eaten so good before he fell asleep on your sofa right after. The next day, he woke up around 10 am to the sound of you washing dishes. He sees breakfast for two on the table and a large bag sitting on the counter. You tell him to join you and you both enjoy your breakfast. While cleaning up, Toji asks what’s the big bag for and you said it’s for him. You cooked him a week worth of food because you knew he didn't have time or energy. So you handed it to him as he’s leaving, telling him to come back anytime for a good meal. As soon as your front door closes, he’s just standing there trying to understand what just happened. His heart is swelling at your gesture, his face ablaze with a heavy blush, wondering why he is feeling this way for you. And Toji makes the horrific realization that he’s falling for you and it won’t stop there.

Most likely you have to initiate the first hangout because the man is clueless when it comes to interactions, specifically with women in a non-flirtatious/transactional way. He started to like you because you weren’t handsy with him or led the conversation to something else. You were interesting because your interactions were real with no other intentions besides talking to him. You’ll admit he’s hot but won’t say it out loud because you don’t want to say something uncomfortable or overstep your boundaries. 

Your hangouts consist of eating at those family-owned restaurants or hidden gems, the food’s good with a good price. Walking around or in a park, maybe hiking if you’re even interested. He doesn’t have money to take you out properly but you aren’t someone who’s into high-end or fancy places because they’re a waste of money in your opinion. You find inexpensive ways to spend time with Toji and it’s fun for you because you don’t have to worry about his expectations because he’s having fun too.

The more he sees and spends time with you, the more he values your company. He starts smiling more and is in a better mood than all his years alive. He definitely isn’t energetic but he isn’t as robotic as he used to be before meeting you. Shui notices this but doesn’t say anything to Toji because he thought he was overthinking things. But when Toji asks him how do you know you’re in love, Shui thought Toji legit went insane. Toji doesn’t want to talk about it but he doesn’t know who the hell to ask so Shui is his closest bet. He asks Toji who got him acting up and Toji shows him a picture of you and he asks Toji if he kidnapped you because he didn’t know he could pull an absolute unit of a woman. And Toji replies “I don’t know man, I don’t even know myself.” Shui is lowkey happy Toji has you. He is fully aware Toji doesn’t have the best background but it’s clear as day you being around him is changing him for the better, undoubtingly saving him.

Toji doesn’t have the best living conditions, he lives by himself in a rundown studio apartment that only had a basic kitchen, a bathroom, and main space that doubled as the living and bedroom. He barely had anything in his apartment other than a futon, a closet, and a table. Got some trash lying around because he doesn’t bother to pick it up. Apartment smells like the back of the house kitchen at a restaurant mixed with the boys locker room in high school. You offered to help clean up. Trash bags full of trash and used cleaning wipes, laundry done and fresh, every surface wiped clean. By the time it was done, his apartment looked brand new. You wouldn’t be surprised that it was trashed again but at least it was clean for once. After your help, Toji becomes a little conscious of his space and cleans it. But this turns into him not using that space because he’s always at your place.

Toji has a habit of ghosting/disappearing without notice. You’re seeing him at the supermarket, next he’ll be gone for like a month or so. Since you really don’t have his phone number, you can’t contact him but it’s not like you two were friends let alone dating at this point. You say it is what it is until one stormy night you heard a hard knock on the door. The next thing you see is Toji, two duffel bags, a cut above his eyebrow while being soaked. You shoved him inside, gave him a towel while patching him, drying his clothes while he changed in your guest bedroom. 

Toji lives with you and split the house chores. But since you’re technically the one with a consistent income and job, you mostly are away from the house and Toji is 90% at home. You do grocery shopping or errands before and after work while Toji holds down the fort. It's been a rough few weeks with him but there was progress. And it was good progress.

You find out pretty fast how Toji’s terrible spending habits and crippling gambling addiction. Luckily for you, you have your own bank account so you don’t have to worry about the man stealing your money. However, you do force Toji to give his paycheck from his inconsistent but very high paying jobs. Literally one of his checks had a value of $30 Million Yen! You cashed it in your account so fast and paid all your bills and groceries off for a minimum of 3 months. It never struck why Toji doesn’t see that as much money but you come to learn that his clan is a prominent one with a substantial amount of wealth so that amount doesn’t surprise him. But still, you told him you’re permanently in charge of the finances because you don’t trust him handling any money. Strangely enough, he doesn’t protest at your rule and now whenever he’s done with a job, he instantly gives his cheek to you. You do give Toji some personal spending cash besides for food and necessities, then eventually a card that’s attached to your bank account. But it’s not a joint account but a card that has access to your account. His card has a spending limit to the equivalent of 67.7k yen(roughly $475 dollars) every month. He CAN withdraw money but you are notified through your bank’s notifications when, where, and how much. Even though you two are balling because of his cheeks, you don’t get carried away with the spending because life in the city is too fucking expensive and you need all the money you can get. Plus, you don’t want to raise any suspicion because you’re pretty sure Toji’s money is blood money or from the black-market and you don’t want to draw a lot of attention for your own safety.

Toji only knew how to cook the basics but nothing over the top or fancy. But once he starts living with you, he starts learning how to cook and for all things under the sun it’s fucking immaculate. Toji’s cooking just tests better to the point you assign him on cooking duties since he cooks better and faster than you. Your co-workers are always envious every time they see your lunch. It’s something different everyday but it’s delicious and filling but not the kind that makes you lethargic. It’s so fucking good that you two don’t eat out as much because his cooking has evolved to peak gourmet. Lowkey is happy you like his cooking and it gives him motivation to continue his work if it puts you in a good mood.

Which brings up another point. I believe Toji is capable of gaining multiple useful skills, it’s just he’s unmotivated. Like he could be good at changing tires, plumbing, handy-man work, cooking, any installation, anything under the sun, but he chooses not to because he doesn’t feel obligated to do so. But it all changes when he starts living with you. Man becomes a jack of all trades and he basically makes life easier because you have him fix/do what needs to be done all the while you’re saving money. He’s a fast learner too. Pretty much once he does it the first time and it works without breaking/doesn’t turn out like shit, it’s locked in his head and knows how to fucking do it.

Initially, Toji is lazy because he is a go with the flow type of guy that doesn’t concern himself with appearances. If it’s livable, not rotting, and doesn’t smell rancid, he’s not going to touch it or bother picking it up. That’s why his apartment was a mess because he’s able to live in those conditions because they’re his own, that's not a thorn in his side. Like he’ll leave his clothes by but not near the hamper because he’ll eventually pick them up when it’s laundry day(you end up picking it up but you started to trip over them while in the bathroom). But you establish a routine for Toji to follow. He doesn’t have to follow it exactly but you said there should be at least 4 main components to it. Literally forcing Toji to pick up habits so he’ll be more productive and conscious of his time. 

Took some time but he eventually attaches to it because it mostly revolves around your schedule. It got to a point where he would be waking you up for your work, getting you your morning drink and a decent breakfast, getting your work bag with your lunch inside, all the while getting you out on time. If not, 5 minutes early so you can be on time for work. I can imagine him saying stuff along the lines of:

“Shakes your shoulders firmly (Y/N), Wake the hell up. You slept through your alarm and it fucking woke me up. You gotta get out of the door in 30 minutes or you’re going to be stuck in traffic, dumbass.”

“Oi (Y/N), it’s 6:00 am. You have 15 minutes to get your ass up and get ready for your work. Before 6:20, you better have your work clothes on when you come into the kitchen because I already made your breakfast.”

“I’m trying to get you out of the door early so you can catch the early train and beat the morning rush. Here’s your lunch and your work bag. Make sure you have everything because I’m not going to bring it to your work if you ask me to.” (He does anyway)

“Hey, it’s going to rain hard later so here’s your umbrella cause I don’t you to fucking sick knowing how you get careless with yourself some times. Pain in my ass…”

So you kinda tamed Toji, this wandering stray cat that was 6’2 and built like a concrete pillar. But you didn’t make it your whole personality trait because 1.) you think it’s pretty fucked up to think helping Toji/people like him is more of a project than genuine compassion. 2.) And you roll your eyes when people say you ‘“fixed” Toji. You just say “Um, no? No I didn’t, Toji picked himself up and changed because he decided to. Not because I FIXED him or him changing isn’t my doing because you be surprised by the amount of people that stay the same because they chose to.” Another reason why Toji fell for you is because you see Toji as a whole human with flaws, you humanized him. You don’t parade him around like some sort of object, you acknowledge his presence and it makes him fall in love with you even more.

Definitely have arguments for sure early on that were rougher compared to being together for a while. Again, this is mostly due to him growing up and being treated as sub-human. He’s vocal not because he chooses not to communicate. But because he doesn’t know how, especially with you, his safe person and your home being his safe space. He was used to being neglected, dismissed or straight up abused altogether. But now that he’s living with you, he’s trying to dismantle his old mindset while learning how to communicate/vocalize his thoughts. He feels he’s unworthy of you because you have an immense amount of patience and understanding for him. Sure, there are your flaws but so does he and he knows living with someone like him is harder than anything else. So he’s appreciative of your efforts and faith in him.

He knows he has a loud voice and is careful when he loses his temper. Obviously for noise complaints but also for because it can be startling and scare you. God, one time you both almost got into a yelling match because of something miniscule and irrelevant but it transformed into something deeper that you didn’t know why you two were fighting about it in the first place. But the way he snapped at you and you unconsciously flinched at him, his heart felt heavy and cracking. He never saw you scared before but the thought of him being one of your fears terrified him immensely. He softens himself and deflates his body to show the surrender of his pride. He ACTUALLY genuinely apologies to you and opens his arms out so you could hug him.

Most of the arguments are just you being frustrated with him. Mostly this was early on with his lack of routine and productive habits, like him not picking up his clothes and leaving his cups everywhere. But Toji is one of those passive guys where he doesn’t like arguing with you and wants to end it asap. Even if he’s not in the wrong, he’ll just admit and apologize to you so you aren’t mad at him anymore. He doesn’t like it when you’re mad at him. Sometimes it can escalate to heated ones but those happen rarely and only exist when something snowballs. He may give an attitude here and there but you mostly know that’s him being himself and he doesn’t mean it.

Your relationship didn’t have a definitive label but the lines are blurred between the two of you. You two hug and hold hands sometimes but it’s more than platonic but not enough for love either. Through large and tight crowds, Toji lets you hold onto his arm , has his hand firmly pressed on the small of your back, or holds your hand tightly as he makes his way through. It’s common for you two to be passed out on the couch together or on the floor after watching a movie or a show. Or how he leans his head on yours when on the train, even carrying you home if you fell asleep and doesn’t have the heart to wake you up because you're tired from work. What you have with Toji is nice and comfortable but you do end up loving him because he makes your life warm and worth living. You just don’t know if he’ll feel the same. Oh but he does, he fucking does. But he doesn’t know how to say the three magical words because he never heard them at all when he was growing up. Let alone someone saying it to him.

You definitely say I love you first before him. Because let’s be honest, this man never knew what the hell ‘love’ or true love is. This man grew up in a traditional family that prioritized status, reputation, influence, and anything under that umbrella for traditionalism. So love was never an important aspect of his clan. So for you to show him the true wonders of love and its ups and downs, he’s overwhelmed and a little ashamed because he’s trying to adjust and get used to this feeling. He isn’t a fairly vocal man but he’ll forever be grateful for your patience, kindness, compassion, and understanding towards someone like him. He freezes when he hears you say it to him with such tenderness and warmth only you could give him. You know he’s not ready to say it back but you couldn’t help but tell him because it needed to be put out there for both him and you. You told him he doesn’t have to say it if he’s not ready or doesn’t feel the same. But you also said that you truly only care for and love him only.

But when he said “I Love You” to you, you knew he meant it with all his heart. You could remember it clearly because it was storming with heavy rains. Flash flood warnings are being sent out and weather channels are telling citizens to stay indoors and not leave their homes. Toji has been trying to call you for the past hour but you never picked up. His anxiety was rising, fearing you were stuck or possibly hurt. He says fuck it and grabs his jacket to go out when you open the door just as he was about to leave. Your clothes were wet but not soaked but you held your shoes in your hand while dropping your umbrella and bag on the floor. You tried to explain to Toji that your phone died at work before you could ever call him. There was a flooded street and so you had to take your shoes off to not get them ruined. You did grab him some food though beforehand but that didn’t matter to him when he saw that you were safe and unharmed. He hugged so tightly through your wet clothes when he said the fabled words to you. 

“Goddammit, I fucking love you, (Y/N). I was so fucking worried about you. I thought you were in trouble or something, Sweet girl. .  .”

You started to cry when you heard him say that you kissed him on the lips by impulse. You thought you fucked up and try to apologize only for him to return your kiss with his only while you hold his face and his hands on your waist. Fuck it was beautiful.

Pretty much after that, you both were in the trenches of love with each other. Fuck it’s so tooth-rotting to see it that Shui jokes and teases the hell out of Toji because that man changes his whole demeanor when you call him. He calls him out on how his voice changes from its usual monotone gruffness to low but soft. Toji tells Shui, “I’m a changed man.”

People are so jealous of you two. How the hell did Toji bag you!? The most ethereal, beautiful, compassionate, kind, funny, and respectable woman?! And how lucky did you get finding such a fine specimen of a man?! 

Toji’s pronouns are literally HE/HIM because Toji is HIM while you’re the IT girl with the one of your pronouns being SHE/HER because you are HER FOR REAL ON GOD.

You two are the IT couple, I don’t make the fucking rules. There’s you being the best version of yourself and you unapologetically. Then there’s Toji who’s hot AS FUCK and following his favorite girl around because you’re the only girl for him, BEST GIRL. He is just there but with you nevertheless.

You’re the couple people make those cool edits of, I’m not even joking.

Knows how to drive both automatic and manual but as an automatic cause because of you. You are on permanent passenger princess duty because this man is your chauffeur until he dies or has no legs. Drives with one hand on the wheel and the other is either on the gearshift, your hand, or your thigh. Looks hot every time he turns or reverses because his biceps show themselves and it’s dangerous for you because it makes you feral.

IDK if it’s just me but Toji seems like the guy to buy a whole rotisserie chicken just for himself. He’ll buy one for you, of course. But one of those bad boys is his because he’s not sharing! After a workout or work, he’ll eat it with no signs of meat left on the bones. They’re so clean he even eats the cartilage.

Toji seems like one of those individuals that looks full grown when he’s younger like in his early 20’s and just stops aging altogether. Not like his entire appearance stays the same, it's just his genetic game is so strong and good people believe he's like 25 when he’s actually in his mid to late 40’s. You and him are like cheese and wine. Both perfectly paired together, and the aging is unnoticeable but you both taste divine.

His closet is the most basic and uncomplicated. T-shirts, undershirts, sweaters, hoodies, joggers, sweatpants, maybe one pair of black cargo pants but that’s about it. He always wears sweaters or hoodies when he’s out because he lowkey doesn’t like to be stared at unless it’s you. He knows his compression shirts would make people drool so he opts out of showing up in them unless it’s super hot or he’s too lazy to cover up. Toji definitely would wear those oversized Uniqlo t-shirts for men. He has the black, dark green, and dark blue ones. Fucking never leaves the house with his fucking sandals or black kung-fu slippers. You buy a pair of black Air Force 1’s, Vintage Black Arizona Grip Birkenstocks, and some Doc Martin black leather boots(1460 Smooth Leather Lace Up Boots). You had to up his shoe game because there is no way you’re letting him only have two pairs that are very worn out.

People think he isn’t all that because he’s chill and uncaring most of the time. In reality, Toji knows how to tap into his inner dawg like a switch. He’s really good at hiding it and not making it obvious. But like then snap! He summons his inner dawg and menacing aura. You could be talking to someone unaware that is staring them down. You smile at him and his aura changes so fast as he smiles at you in return. But as soon as you turn away to continue talking to the person, the menacing aura just returns. His aura is so intimidating and menace-like that people genuinely grow anxious and fearful. So much so that they could piss/shit themselves or even throw up if they didn’t have a strong will.

Personally, Toji is more of a German Shepherd boyfriend than a black cat boyfriend. IDK, it just makes sense to me. Like he talks and isn’t hostile to people he knows like you and Shui, literally the only two people in his life that he’s close with. But everyone else, he either hates them or doesn’t give a single care in the world. 

I also personally think Toji isn’t stupid and he's actually intelligent. I think his past issues and how he was treated is the reason he seems like an incompetent person. But really, he’s pretty smart. I know this doesn’t involve the canon but the fact Toji knew which weapons to use on Satoru, beating Suguru with an inch of his life but not killing because he knows what Suguru’s technique can do if he does, and the whole plan with the bounty on Riko was pretty genius. Look, I’m not trying to vouch for him for what he did. But you can’t help but admit what Toji did was impressive. He worked smarter, not harder compared to other people. Especially letting the curse user do all the work for him while he gets to deal with the easy part and go in for the kill. The man came prepared to get the job done. I mean I would too if there was $30 million yen on the line. Sure, he’ll forget to pick up on some social cues. But once the man locks in, he'll be the most observant and perspective person in the room and he’ll learn something about someone just by their body language and simple mannerisms. 

Not sure if this is confirmed or not by Gege but I read someone where that Toji is into philosophical conversations. But I can see because, again, he’s intelligent and has seen/learned a lot of stuff from his hits/jobs. Toji isn’t one of those smartasses that you experience in those advanced classes. He’ll earnestly speak his mind if you ask and what you have to see. He always finds it interesting hearing things from your point of view and I feel like this is one of the ways you two grew close to one another.

You two got married because you just popped the question to him and said yes. You two didn’t have rings at the time but he did buy you the one you wanted but the band had some black on it. His was a solid black wedding band to match yours. Up close, it looks pretty cool. He bought the rings because he asked Shui for any hits/“jobs” that were available on such short notice after you two got married. A week later, Shui notices it and asks him if he finally tied the knot with you. Toji just nods.

Took your last name then both of you decided to add another last name, deciding on Fushiguro. King shit right here. Not afraid or ashamed he took your last name as a middle finger to his clan.

This isn’t a Toji head canon but I can see Shui being a bro and giving Toji consistently well-paying hits/“jobs” because he knows how much you mean to Toji and Toji has to provide for you too. You both would be sleeping and Toji hears a notification go off and knows Shui sent him a job that will be done by tomorrow afternoon.

Routine wise, nothing changes between the two of you. However, Toji is more open and affectionate with you. Especially with nicknames, he rarely uses your real name at home. God, when he calls your names of endearment, you’re going to fucking explode from how deep and gentle voice gets calling out to you. 

He also loves hugging you from behind and having you in his arms. Definitely gives good hugs, they give the right amount of squeeze but are so warm and protective. Is more daring with his kisses, would steal a kiss whenever he gets the chance.

Toji is the type to sleep the closest to the bedroom door. Doesn’t matter where the door is, your body is always in front of him. Just in case something happens, he can/will protect you and he can use his body as a shield to protect you.

Unironically a good listener, legit has a good hearing canonly in reality. He just carries his resting nonchalant face all the time. He could be focused on something or not looking your way, but Toji is listening to you speak and will recite your words right back at you if you think he is. This also helps if you’re someone who tends to forget things or need reminders. He’ll tell you what you were supposed to do 5 minutes ago word for word if you ask him.

Sleeps in his boxers only. Might sleep in a shirt and sweatpants when it’s colder. But Toji’s body mass produces enough heat to be a furnace that you both only sleep with one blanket. He’s always warm. If you get cold hands, fear not because they’ll be warm in five seconds if you place them on Toji’s abs.

Fairly possessive to an extent. It’s usually blended in with protectiveness because one can bleed into another. Like he’ll let you to your own devices but isn’t going to whine if you have guy friends. Toji can read between the lines, he has really good social cues. But he’ll straight up tell you he doesn’t like your male friends/co-workers if they are interested in you romantically. You’re his girl, he wants people to know it. But he would literally kill for you and bring the Heavens to their knees just to keep you safe and protected. Would literally take the fall for you in anything, you can’t change my mind on that. Toji: “Your honor, my girl did nothing wrong. It was self-defense.” 

Toji has self-esteem issues for sure. You could have anyone in the whole world, anyone in this lifetime. But you choose him, and always chose him. The amount of times Toji had to get/do something while you wait for him only to come back to see a random-ass guy talking and trying to get your number. His heart would squeeze at the scene because he wouldn’t blame you for going for someone better. But when he sees you say “Sorry to break it to you, but I’m with my boyfriend and he should be back any second now.” Seeing your eyes scan for him and the way your face lights up seeing him made his heart inflate, making the squeeze disappear. You speed walk to Toji, ignoring the dude, and hug his arm tightly. Toji kisses your head as he walks with you not before throwing the dude a shit-eating grin his way. After that, Toji knows you’re loyal to him and that’s a fact.

But if we’re going to be honest, none of us would leave Toji if he treated us well and deservingly. Plus he’s strong and has the body that even the Gods are jealous of, how are we gonna fumble a bag like that? Ngl, if I meet Toji in real life, I’d run in the other direction fucking scared b/c I’m not fantasy me and fantasy me is better. 

Nicknames for you consist of Doll, Babe/Baby , Honey or Hun, Dear, Sweet Girl, Sweet Thing, Princess.

Toji is the type of man to say “Wear whatever the fuck you want, Doll. I can fight” and says it with his chest with no questions asked because it’s true. Toji got that win streak with zero losses under his belt. But then again, no guy will try to hit on you when they see Toji giving them the ultimate stare down when they try to do something funny.

Once gut punched someone so hard they were sent flying while throwing up what they ate for the day because they tried to make a physical move on you and Toji’s instincts just took over.

Toji definitely brawls and fights. He could get jumped by like 10 dudes and send all of them to the hospital completely unscathed. But his beatings get more aggressive if he is with you. Like if you two are out and some guy tries to hit on you and uses his group to intimidate him, you give Toji the approving nod and he’s just giving all of the most devious combos to ever grace this plant while you're sipping on your drink watching it all unfold.

Also, Toji isn’t letting things slide when you’re uncomfortable, annoyed, or God forbid, scared. One time, you told Toji you were going to get food for both of you at your favorite local restaurant/bakery/cafe. But you were gone longer than expected so he went to find you and saw you talking to a guy. He was confused at first because you usually tell them off or leave automatically. It wasn’t until he got closer when he saw the severity of the situation. To any passerby, it’s two people but then up close you can see the guy’s friend right behind him, backing him up and purposely corning you so their pressure would make you say yes but you held your ground. But you were lowkey scared because they trapped you in an abandoned lot that was hidden from the public eye. So when Toji saw how your body shrunk and clutching your bag of food to your chest, that was his green light to go in. Toji grabs the guy’s throat, his hand being big enough to get a good grip. His eyes are cold and daunting, telling the guy, “You must have shit for brains because she clearly isn’t interested in you. It’s not cool to corner a woman with your bitch-less friends.” That’s his only warning to them before he boxes all of them. Took him 2 minutes max and he’s pulling you along with your food in his other hand. 

Toji also would be more than okay if you ask him to pick you up or drop you off from work. You both have a car but it’s cheaper and more convenient to take public transportation. Like he’ll walk with you to work and leave once you’re inside. Once you’re off, you see him outside waiting for you. Your co-workers you vibe with wonder who’s the handsome guy that is always waiting for you and you say that’s your husband. They’re gawking at him and say you’re so lucky. 

Hates him when people tell him what to do but will follow every command you give him. You’re the only one who can boss him around and he’s actually happy to oblige. Responds with “Yes, Sweet girl”, “Anything else, Honey?”, or “Of course, Dear/Babe/Baby”.

Toji is the type of man to follow you anywhere and do anything with you as long as it makes you happy. The type of man to be like “It is what it is, I’m not gonna complain”.

His body is made from the amount of work he has to do for his occupation. He doesn’t need to go to the gym because he gets a full pump by doing push ups alone at home. Does pull ups in the doorway, has a heavy barbell and dumbbells set in your home because you allowed him thinking it would make him productive. Literally puts body builders and any gym goers to shame. His strong body is built by his job alone and his body’s innate ability to gain muscles and keep a low but healthy fat percentage.

Doesn’t drink because he has a very high alcohol tolerance and also he can’t get drunk too. So if you’re not into drinking, he can always keep you company and will back people off if they pressure you into drinking even though you declined. He can see the amusement in drinking culture but he doesn’t drink himself because he hates being under the influence. He won’t mind if you do and he’s more than willing to pick you up from a night out of friends. Not a fan of bars but will go if you ask him to, your drinks are always protected.

Thinks he can rizz you up but it’s you who has the most powerful rizz out of the two.

If you’re having a bad day or just having a mental/emotional breakdown, Toji will try his best to comfort you. If you want him to hold you, he will hold in a loving and protective embrace. Definitely say things like, “You’re going okay, Baby”, “I’m here, Honey. I gotchu”, or “You’re with me, Doll. I won't let anything happen to you.” Not really good with advice but Toji always listens to what you have to say. He will get you anything you need or make you any food you’re craving at the moment. The man would literally go on a last minute grocery run to make you your favorite food to make you feel better. It makes him feel at ease when your mood lightens up or you smile at him.

Not a picky eater but eats the same types of foods because Toji doesn’t get sick of them that easily and he doesn’t have to think too hard on what to eat. But he will make something different everyday for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for you. He would judge you for eating the same food over and over again but not him because he eats just so to satiate his hunger.

He’s your infinite garbage disposal. You’re full or don’t want to finish your food, Toji will eat it for you. His hunger can be satisfied but his body has a large capacity until it reaches full. He never knew what it was like to be full.

Toji is always the big spoon. Maybe some nights he likes to be held by you but he’s the big spoon no matter what. Probably because he desperately needs to feel your presence in the dream world and protect your physical body. More of a back sleeper than a side sleeper but can sleep in either position. Sleeping positions consist of his arm around you and you’re tucked into his side while using his shoulder as a pillow, sleeping on his chest/on top of him, or back hugging you where his massive body engulfs your own. He loves being close to you when sleeping and hates when you’re not in his arms.

Most likely Toji will have nightmares because he feels like he doesn’t deserve you. If not, feel his life he has with you is even real. Sometimes the dark void is there with shadows looming closer to consume him the more he continues to think like that. It’s not until he wakes up to see your sleeping face and gently caresses it is when he realizes this is life was real, you are real and right in front of him. He smiles like a fool before kissing your forehead and holding you close.

Never has thought about his future because he didn’t think he would live this long, or have a domestic life. But now that he has you and is married, he constantly thinks about the future, your future together. He couldn’t imagine a future without you, it’s not possible for him. He imagines having a family with you and hopes you share the same idea as him.

I know these are wild and don't make sense for his character but let me dream, okay?! I've been simping for this man since October 2020, I've been waiting for this, lol. Anyway, thanks for the support!💙❤️

[love-anddeepression]

Movie Posters- Miguel O’Hara x teen!spider!reader

The awaited Father’s Day fic :D love all of you, and I hope you like this<3333

“Lyla?”

“Yeah?”

“What the hell is this?”

“It’s a cake, dumbass.”

“Yeah I know, dipshit. Why is it on my desk?”

“How should I know?” The AI shrugs, “maybe check the icing? Dumbass.”

The perpetually tired old spider rolls his eyes and opens the box to reveal a red and blue cake with his logo iced onto it. There’s a chocolate piece with writing on it.

“Get an empanada at exactly 11:26 am today for your next hint.” Miguel reads out, “I mean- sure I guess?”

From somewhere above, another spider in a purple suit smiles and disappears.

——

At exactly 11:26 am, Miguel is at taking the empanada from the spider behind the counter who also hands him a small box.Nodding in thanks, he looks at the post it on the plate.

“Good job, open the box after eating the food.”

He doesn’t waste time in scarfing the food down before opening the box.

A battery. And another note.

“Good job, at exactly 1:30 pm, go to Jessica’s quarters.”

“What?” He says out loud, attracting the attention of some of the other spiders, “nothing to see here.” He snarls and they all go back to eating in silence.

He internally groans, because he knows you’re behind this.

—

At one thirty, he glares as Jess smirks and hands him a paper bag filled with confetti.

Amongst the confetti, he finds another box.

Another battery, another note.

‘Almost done, now at five, go to the main hall of spider society to find the last part of your gift.’

“I’m going to kill that kid.” He swears as he carefully folds the paper and holds it as if it made of glass

“You’d kill yourself before letting anything harm her.” Jessica replies.

He doesn’t answer, only clenching his jaw in response to his colleague’s words.

Because nothing has ever been truer.

———

At five sharp, he opens the doors to the main hall to find a single spotlight shining onto a table with the last box on it.

He rips the ribbon wrapped around it and opens it to find a remote with a single bright red button and another note.

‘Two batteries and one remote. You know what to do, wiseguy.

Also, happy Father’s Day ;)’

He has never assembled something faster, as he quickly puts the batteries in the remote. And hesitantly presses the button.

The spotlight switches off and the momentary darkness in the hall is then replaced by a single hologram of a butterfly flying around him.

It rests on his nose and flies around him, as if wanting him to follow it. In front of him, a portal opens and the butterfly flies through it, expecting him to follow.

On the other side is what is supposed to be a media room. Complete with wooden panelling and a projector and speakers. He sees posters of what used to be his favourite movies and songs. Photos of his favourite soccer players. His hand moves to over his mouth at the photo of him and Gabriella.

“Don’t be mad.” Your voice reaches his ears and he whirls to see you look at him nervously, “i wanted to make this special.”

He clenched his jaw and scoffs, looking around the room once more, he eyes the empanadas and the movie, his favourite, ready to be watched.

He then looks you in the eye, and for the first time in entire time you’ve known him, you feel nervous.

He stalks towards you and after a few seconds of painful silence, he wraps his arms around you and hugs you.

“Oh honey, why would I be mad?” He whisper into your hair.

You let out a sigh of relief, “i know how much she meant to you, she needed to be here today. I..know I’m not your real daughter or anything, but you’re my dad.” You hug him tighter, hiding your face in the crook of his neck, and he gingerly picks you up.

“You’re my kid. Understand?” His voice is shaky.

You nod and he puts you down, a small smile on his face.

You giggle, “wanna watch the movie?”

His smile turns into a smirk, “come on what are we waiting for?”

Your smile disappears, “wait, shit! I forgot my glasses!”

“I thought spiders had 10/10 vision?” He raises an eyebrow.

“Sorry that your spider is a blind bat.” You snark.

“You’re hilarious.” He munches on the popcorn you’d made for him.

“Yeah I know.” You grin and open a portal to get your glasses.

A few minutes nts later, you emerge, a frown on your face. You go to stand in front of him and he looks up at you, “What?”

“They were on my head the whole time.”

“Oh were they?” He hums, “must’ve missed em. I have horrible eyesight.”

“Asshole.” You roll your eyes and adjust your glasses as you plop down next to him and start the movie.

He throws popcorn into your open mouth, “don’t talk to your father that way.”

“Shut up.”

[thethirdromana]

Mem., get recipe for Mina: a food guide to Dracula Daily

Inspired by There and Snack Again (in which you eat along with the LOTR movies), this is your guide to eating and drinking along with Dracula Daily.

All under a cut because there's no way I can do this without extensive spoilers. I strongly recommend not reading this unless you already know what happens in Dracula. Also only if you're comfortable reading about alcoholic drinks - there's a lot of booze in this novel.

Let's eat!

2 May We start with the famous paprika hendl. Google "chicken paprikash" and choose whichever recipe most strikes your fancy.

3 May For breakfast, choose from mamaliga (cornmeal porridge, similar to grits), "impletata" (vânătă umplută - stuffed aubergine) or anything with more paprika in it.

4 May For dinner, Jonathan has robber steak: "bits of bacon, onion, and beef, seasoned with red pepper, and strung on sticks and roasted over the fire".

5 May Slivovitz, if you'd like it (Jonathan declines). Then, for dinner, Dracula serves up roast chicken, with some cheese, a salad and a glass or two of Tokaji wine.

6 May "A cold breakfast" for Jonathan. In Romania a cold breakfast might include boiled eggs, telemea (sheep's cheese), franzela (bread) with assorted spreads, sliced cucumber and tomatoes, and sunculita taraneasca (sliced smoked pork). Jonathan also has "an excellent supper", but doesn't tell us what that includes.

16 May Would it be too bleak if I suggested eating a symbolic Jelly Baby?

26 May A glass of wine as Quincey and Jack congratulate Arthur and drown their sorrows.

18 June There's a kind of Scottish fruit slice called "flies' graveyard". That might make a suitable snack given Renfield's meal today.

24 June I guess a gingerbread woman, for the wolves? IDK, it turns out doing this for a horror novel is a bit grim.

8 July Thankfully the internet has hundreds of ideas for spider-themed cakes so you can eat along with Renfield.

18 July The voyage of the Demeter begins! Celebrate by eating like a sailor: have some salt pork, or make ship's biscuit.

20 July Renfield has just eaten several sparrows. Provide redress by feeding birds near you, bird flu guidance permitting.

24 July Imitate the "feet-folk" from York and Leeds by drinking some tea or eating some cured herring.

10 August Lucy and Mina enjoy a "severe tea". There are lots of severe teas in Victorian literature, but few writers actually describe what's in it - e.g. the Churchman's shilling magazine, 1868, has a story with a severe tea "which implies coffee, tea, and muffins, with substantials". What are substantials? I have no idea, but that's what you should eat today.

11 August Dracula has a little nibble on Lucy. I don't suggest doing this for every vampire bite in the novel, but given this one is particularly significant, how about marking the occasion with some black pudding?

30 August No food details for a while, but in this entry, Lucy notes that she "has an appetite like a cormorant" and "Arthur says I am getting fat". Celebrate with some cake.

3 September Van Helsing has been! And surely he wouldn't have come all the way from the Netherlands empty-handed? Acknowledge his visit with some gouda or a stroopwafel.

4 September Eat some sugar, which Renfield has requested for his flies.

7 September To stay in line with what the characters actually eat and drink, have a glass of port (though ideally not if you've just given blood). But for the real spirit of the day, consider a corn-on-the-cob.

9 September Free space! Jack has "an excellent meal" but doesn't say what it is. Dig into your favourite dinner.

10 September A sip of brandy, with which Van Helsing wets Lucy's lips.

11 September The garlic flowers arrive. There's lots that you can make with wild garlic - personally, I like it in risotto.

17 September A boxful of garlic flowers arrive for Lucy every day. Time to make chicken with 40 cloves of garlic. Other options for today include more black pudding (in honour of Renfield lapping up Jack's blood) or sherry.

18 September The Zookeeper enjoys a teacake, and so shall we.

20 September No food, but the labourers have "a stiff glass of grog". This is rum diluted with water, but you could also add lemon or lime juice, sugar, and/or cinnamon.

25 September Nibble another Jelly Baby for the Bloofer Lady.

29 September A lot happens in this entry, but there's not a lot of food. There are thirsty labourers, however. Maybe have a beer?

30 September Mina makes everyone a pot of tea. Also, we don't know what they have for dinner, but they eat it at 7pm, if you'd like to time your evening meal accordingly.

1 October More tea! Since this is being gulped down by a working man, make it builder's style - strong, sweet, lots of milk.

2 October Jonathan visits the Aërated Bread Company. He only has a cup of tea, but you could have whatever you like best from their menu:

(source)

3 October Dracula forces Mina to drink his blood like "a child forcing a kitten's nose into a saucer of milk". You could either have some more black pudding, or drink a glass of milk in solidarity with Mina.

15 October The Crew of Light aren't focusing much on meals any more, but they have travelled on the Orient Express. Here's the 1887 dining car menu.

(source - I can't vouch for the accuracy of a random person on Twitter but it looks plausible)

29 October No one is thinking of food in this bit of the novel (though Mina makes yet more tea), but as they're heading to Romania, have some sarmale. These stuffed cabbage rolls are the Romanian national dish.

31 October Mina and Van Helsing have "a huge basket of provisions". Have a picnic in their honour, if it's warm enough where you are.

1 November Mina and Van Helsing have "hot soup" into which the local cooks have put an extra amount of garlic. Consider having a truly extra amount of garlic with this 44-garlic-clove soup.

7 November The Crew of Light return to Transylvania. No details of food, but in honour of their journey, I would suggest a final round of chicken paprikash, to bring us back to where it all began.

[yetanotherhiddlestoner]

Summary ~ Daryl finds a journal on a supply run and reads it, what will happen when he sees the world through someone else's perspective?  Set in the commonwealth, straying a little from TWD timeline, but hey that the fun thing about fanfics right?

Daryl X Y/N. Words ~ 2449. Warnings ~ None (Photo found on Pinterest) Also I am trying to update I fell hard, you'll fall harder but it wont let me post it :(

The Entries Chapter 1

Daryl wasn't a man who just picked up a book to read it, not these days at least, if he found books for the kids then he would grab it and give it to them, he tries to recall the last time he actually read a book, but while he was looking for supplies, Daryl found a diary, the front looking worse for wear and covered in pink glittery stickers, something that reminded him of Princess and her style, Daryl's curiosity got the better of him and so and he opened it and read the first page. It read.

Entry one~

"This may very well be the last chance that I have to write, my family told me I should be a writer, I guess this is my last chance to ever get a book out there, but if anyone ever reads it, I hope you find comfort within the pages of this journal. My name is Y/N and this is the story about how I survived the apocalypse, or didn't I might be gone by now, in that case if would be a memoir right?"

Daryl shuts the book, placing it in his bag, he goes around gathering what supplies he can find before finally placing his bag on his back, starting up his bike and speeding back to the Commonwealth. Today was a good day for the supply run, he was able to find some medication for the community, canned food and some clothing for the small kids. That night as he lay in bed, he digs into his bag finding the journal, he starts reading it again.  

Entry two~

"I was born in 1989, 21 when the dead started attacking us, currently 26-27 years old although I have no idea if that is even right, I am just guessing the days and months at this point in this world, and I don't know how much time it has been if someone is reading this anyway back to my life story. My mother and father married at a young age, or at least young for them, they had just turned 20, been high school sweethearts, the whole Prom king and queen story line expect this was real life. It didn't take them long to start a family. My brother aka the eldest was born when my mother was 22, then another 2 years later came my other brother, the annoying middle child and then myself with a nice 5-year gap between myself and my second eldest brother."

Daryl flips the page to a collage of photos, ripped or cut to fit onto the pages. In the middle was one clearly done by a professional photographer, you are all sitting on the ground, smiling while looking at the lens, each person has their name on the photo, he looks at you in the photo. front and center, sighing at how happy you looked. Then in the corner is a photo of your parents on their wedding day, followed by photos of each child not long after they were born

"The day the world fell, I can't even remember the date, I was meant to be going to work, but my mother called me and begged for me to stay home, she begged for all of us to stay in our home, she told us all about the videos of people being shot down and them coming back and attacking people, I heard the terror in her voice, my brothers thought she was worrying for no reason, so they left for work. I tried to stop them, but they just wouldn't listen. I watched them walk out that door, hop in their cars and drive away, fearful that they wouldn't come back. I rang my friends, we chatted for a while, scared. We had planned on hanging at mine in the coming days, thinking this was just a temporary thing and that it would be fine within a week. How naive I was thinking the police and the government were going to be protect us.  I was very wrong. I watched as some of my neighbors left, cars packed up, houses left unlocked, pets left to fend for themselves. The street felt quiet, usually the kids would be playing in their lawns, coming home from school talking to their friends, or riding their bikes, now those things were left discarded. I watched the news, it only made my paranoia worse, watching them shoot down what I thought were innocent people at the time, the screams I could hear outside my door had me on high alert. My father never came home that night. He was away on business, he was meant to be coming home that day, I can only assume he is now dead. When my mother came home, she rushed us to get all the supplies and weapons we had, mostly kitchen knives, loaded them into the car, we waited for my father, constantly calling his cell phone and workmates but no-one answered, the longer we waited, the worse it got. During the night, I heard screams from down the street, saw neighbors running for their lives getting attacked, the screams as their friends chewed into their flesh, and then coming back. That night my family and I hid upstairs in one room, no lights, no noises nothing just praying we would make it through. 

Sunrise came and with it did us leaving our family home, the concrete covered in blood splatters, the groans of the dead coming out of the yards towards us, as I hopped into the car I gave the house one last look the one that I was born and raised in. In that moment the life I had known was gone. I have no idea if my friends were alive and if they are I hope they are well. That night, we tried sleeping in our car, taking turns at driving out of the city and further in land, my mother says we would be safe, away from the ones who can kill us. I doubted it though. We could see the cities being bombed from our car, the flame lighting up the horizon."

Daryl flips the page. His fingers glide over the page of photos once more, he notices that is your style, you write and then you put photos. He likes it, he likes that you are a real person, that had a real life, real friends.  Entry three~ "We drove for what feels like days, we pass the undead, we even ignore the hitchhikers, we can't risk taking on the wrong people my brother says. I've seen children biters, that is what we have come to call them, it breaks my heart. I had always wanted to be a mother but now I don't see kids in my life, not if my life is constantly running from the undead or living in fear."

Daryl keeps reading, finding himself more intrigued with each line. Another page, another photo of you and your friends, of you and a dog, he can assume might be a pet of yours once. You started drawing things you have seen on your travels; he takes in the details of each piece of art. You have a knack for art, a lot better then himself he tells himself. Another glimpse into your life. Another thing her learnt about you.

Entry four~ "The days pass in a blur now, it's been months since shit hit the fan. I think it might be coming up to winter, the air is cooler, a nice bite to it at night. I lost my brother to a biter; he was out trying to find more supplies when the dead came out of nowhere, he tried to fight them off. He managed to get away and spend his last few moments with us, his body bloodied and bitten. I watched as he turned, his eyes glossing over, the snapping of his teeth as he reached out for our mother who was crying for him to stop, I didn't think I just acted, my knife plunging into his skull, he was my first biter I had to put down, we buried him in a field under a tree. Our mother hasn't been the same since, she barely says a word these days. We lost our car, ran outta petrol, lost most of our things, I managed to save the one thing I need in my life, my photos, my memories in the one bag I don't ever want to lose" At the bottom of the page is a Polaroid of yourself."

Daryl notices the tally on the bottom of the page. Later on in the journal he would see the numbers go up each time, you didn't write about them but you kept track.

Biter - 1 Human-0 Animals -2

And then a photo of the makeshift grave you buried your brother in. His date of birth and just the year 2010 at the end.  "I know it may seem silly to whoever is reading this but as long as I got a camera, batteries and film, I'll keep taking photos, documenting what I survive through, until I can no longer find the supplies. I'll keep doing this until I am no longer able to. It is the only thing that makes me sane, it makes this world feel to real"

Entry five~ "I know death comes to all, but I didn't think my own mother would end it herself. I should have seen the signs, she stopped eating, stopped speaking, stopped living, day by day the life drained from her eyes, I think ever since we left, each day has made her realize that things were not going to get better. My brother and I buried her as best we could then we headed back out into the world, on foot for miles, tonight our home is a service station, not really safe, we are holed up in office, being as quiet as possible, we have raided the shelves for food and water, if we lucky we might get another day to rest here and then we will keep moving. I doubt we will make it to the mountains, it is too far to travel by foot."

He sees the cut-out photo of you and your mother, noting how much you look like her, you have her hair and facial features. His fingers move over the photo, he feels sorry for you, he knows how to feel to lose a loved one. You look so happy in this photo, the world can be cruel.

Entry six~ "I tried, I tried so hard to stop him, I screamed at him, begged him. But he didn't listen. Now I am all alone in the world I wasn't born for. My brother, the eldest, always looking out for me, we got stuck in a rundown house, he used himself as a diversion. He screamed at me to run, to get out. I grabbed my bag and ran, the last thing I saw as I turned back was him being over ran by them and screaming for to keep running, don't look back and that he loved me. My brother was a person who rarely said the L word, so hearing his last words as that made me run harder, until my chest burned. I have found a small tree house in the woods, I am guessing it was a child's secret hideaway, built by their parent's or at least that is what I am telling myself while I cry for the lost of my family, for tonight it is my sanctuary.  I have no idea how I am going to live alone; do I find a group? Do I try to live alone? I am scared, I haven't felt like this since day one. I have no idea what tomorrow brings, I have limited water, limited food and a couple weapons." Daryl continues reading the journal well into the night, when he glances at the clock its almost 2am in the morning, he decides to close the journal for the night, placing it on his nightstand. 

When he picks up the journal again, he can't believe how much he has read in a short time.

Entry 17~ "Found a library today, took out the undead inside, found a book on edible foods in the wild and how to survive out here. I am hoping they come in handy as my rations are almost out, also found a book to keep me entertained."

Biter-16 Human -2 Animal-8 Entry 18~ "I miss them." Daryl reads those three little words and feels a pang in his heart.

Entry 19~ "Today I snapped. A biter came out from behind a corner and in a second, I saw my life just die away. I beat that thing into a bloody pulp, smashing its head over and over, while tears formed into my eyes. Am I losing what little humanity I have left? Is being alone making me into an animal?"

Daryl grimaces at the photo of the now dead walker that you took. He wonders why you took that? Why would you want a photo of something that broke you? He has had his fair share of kills, yet he never truly wants to remember them.

Entry 20~ "Found a creek near the road I was walking, I have learnt how to filter dirty water, at least I have something to drink now, I just need to find food and a place to rest for the night. I have no idea really which direction I am going; I have to learn all this now."

Biter-36 Human -2 Animal-14

Entry 21~ "I am nearing the end of the book, the pages filled with the stories I have written, photos I have taken, I have truly lost track of time, the days, the months everything is mashed into one big never-ending nightmare. I fight for my life daily, it is exhausting. I think my next stop for me is the next town 30 miles away. For now I leave this journal here, for anyone, if there is anyone left out there that is. Please take care of my photos, my life story, it may not be anything these days."  The last words written hurts Daryl a little. "I truly don't want to die. But I don't know if I am strong enough to live."

And your signature style is a photo of you, he guessing you took it the day you finished the journal, you look sad, alone. He just wanted to hug you and tell you it's going to be alright.

[hsrockstargf]

Object of Desire*

AN: this is my first time posting on here so please be gentle☺️

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summary: Honey Rose, one of the most sought after adult film actress, get picked to do a scene for director Harry Styes. What happens when she finds out that he will be the one doing the scene with her?

work count: 7.5k

tropes: pornstarry

warnings: 18+, language, explicit smut, fluff

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Lights, Camera, Action. 

I’ve always wanted to hear those words be uttered before a scene- to feel the adrenaline rush as I make the script come to life. As a little kid I would whisper them to myself before I would put on a short skit for my grandma, and it made me feel like I was a real movie star. Now at 26 years old- I am the furthest thing from a movie star, but I guess an actress could be the term for my job. 

The adrenaline that I love to feel rush through my veins is present as well as the nervousness that is making my hands sweat slightly. The possibilities of today swirl around my mind as I walk down the long corridor to meet the director of today’s shoot. 

I never thought this is what I would be doing to keep a roof over my head and food in my belly, but I can’t say I’m disappointed. What started out as occasionally posing for a lingerie company to help me get through school turned into signing up for an OnlyFans and making $7,000 a week. 

I never did anything too risque on my page, only posting pictures of me half naked without showing my face and occasionally taking a few requests from subscribers. My following grew exponentially and it continued until I didn’t know how to manage all of the content people were asking me to film. 

A few months ago, a manger reached out to me wanting to represent me. Although this was a far fetch from the job I’ve always wanted, I couldn’t turn it down. Having sex in front of a camera with a whole team watching you and a million more waiting to see it with a person you barely know is scary and intimidating- but I took the job anyway. I like the money and sometimes the sex is actually quite enjoyable when I can get out of my own head.  

This particular job came as a surprise to both me and my manager. Usually, my manager would reach out to a filming company, give them my head shots, and then wait to hear back if they wanted to use me for the scene they were wanting to film, but for this one the director himself reached out to my manager. Apparently, he had seen some of my work and wanted me to be one of the stars in his new video. 

Harry Styles- is the biggest name in the porn industry and someone you don’t say no to.  Not only is he one of the hottest and sought after pornstars, but he is also known for being a fantastic director. Every single one of his videos has at least a million views, if not more; they are hot and sensual, plucked right from all the fantasies that I’ve stored away in my brain. He started out just like everyone else, at the bottom of the totem pole, but he became so successful so fast that everyone in the industry wanted to work with him. Recently, he’s been focusing more on the directing side of his job, foregoing the acting part which many people have complained about, but of course he doesn't care. 

I’m not embarrassed to admit that I’ve gotten myself off multiple times from watching him. Just listening to his deep, slow, and raspy voice would make my cunt slick before reaching into my night stand to grab my purple bullet vibrator. I would press it to my clit and circle it around while I watched him kiss down the length of the random girl’s body before he would uncover her wet pussy and taste her for the first time. He would use both his tongue and fingers to get her off before fucking her into the matress, making her scream out in pleasure as he takes her from behind and slaping the plump flesh of her ass as she comes on his thick cock. He would fuck her through her orgasm, and the sound of both of their moans would make my stomach swirl with pleasure. I would always tease myself, not letting myself come until I knew he was about to orgasm. To not disturb my neighbors, I would flip around on my belly with my vibrator still pressed closely to my swollen clit and bite into my pillow as I listened to his deep moans as he came, finally finding my release alongside him. 

It’s gonna be hard for me to look him in the eye today and not picture him like that; to not think of the way his back muscles flex while hovering over his partner, thrusting into them as hard and fast as he can or the way the vein on his neck pops out when he tilts his head back in pleasure. I don’t even know if I’ll be able to focus on my costar as Harry directs us, only focusing on him and what he wants from me. 

“Honey?” A small woman stands in front of me, holding a clipboard and a pair of headphones hanging around her neck. “Honey Rose?” 

“Yeah, that’s me. Sorry, I guess I’m a little distracted.” I answer to my stage name, and laugh off my embarrassment. She giggles along with me, easing my nerves. 

With an extended hand she says, “Hi, I’m Jenny, Harry’s assistant.” I take her hand and offer her a smile. “I’ll be showing you around and then I’ll take you to meet him.” After we shake hands she pulls away and turns around. “Follow me and I’ll show you where you can put your stuff.” 

We make small talk while walking down the hallway towards an unknown destination. Jenny rattles off all the things she did this morning, preparing for the shoot and she also tells me how excited Harry is to meet me. 

My stomach once again flips at the thought of being in his presence, but I don’t get a chance to think about it more when Jenny stops in front of a door that says ‘Honey Rose.’ 

“I get my own dressing room?” 

Jenny looks at me with her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Of course you do. Have you never had one before?” She opens the door, stepping to the side to let me walk in the room first. “Harry always makes sure his stars are taken care of.” 

I shake my head while walking in the room. It’s nothing too extravagant, with a love seat couch tucked in the corner with a small coffee table in front of it and a vanity on the far left wall, but it’s nicer than anything I’ve gotten before. Usually I have to get undressed in front of all the crew before slipping into a robe, so having this space puts me at ease. 

At least I’ll have some privacy throughout this shoot. 

“If you just wanna set your stuff down I’ll take you to meet Harry. He’s just now finishing setting up the bedroom set.” I take my coat off and hang it over the back of the chair and then place my purse on the coffee table. “You ready?” 

“As I’ll ever be.” I stick my hands in my pockets to hide the fact that they are shaking and follow after Jenny. For being as tiny as she is she sure can walk fast and I find myself wishing she would slow down so I can prepare myself. 

The set is a normal looking bedroom. It’s cozy, warm, and inviting. The bed is dawned in white sheets, a white duvet, and a tan throw with brown pillows. The bedside tables are decorated with items to make it look like someone actually lives here and a mirror leans against the wall across from the bed. 

There aren't a lot of people in this room right now, some are setting up certain light fixtures and others are testing out the equipment, but I immediately know which one is Harry. Dressed in long black flared trousers and a matching black shirt, he stands next to the mirror, angling it so it perfectly aims at the head of the bed. 

He hasn’t noticed us yet, but when Jenny clears her throat he looks up in the mirror and immediately makes eye contact with me. “Harry, this is -”

“Honey Rose.” My fake name rolls off his lips and I find myself begging to hear him use my real name. “I know who she is, Jenny. Would be kind of hard not to know.” Harry stuffs one hand in his pocket and makes his way over to me. “I’m Harry.” He extends his hand out to me and it takes me a second before I do the same. 

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you, Harry.” I hope he doesn’t see the school girl blush on my cheeks, but I can’t help but find myself so taken with him. His hair falls perfectly in waves in a slight middle part that frames his face. There is a shadow of facial hair surrounding his jaw and around his lips, drawing attention to the pinkness of them. His eyes shine bright compared to the darkness of his hair; beautiful sea green staring straight at me. The tattoos on his arm stand out and I find myself looking over each and every one, but then I remember that I’m still holding onto his hand. I let go rather quickly and he chuckles at me. “I’m excited to work with you. I’ve heard nothing but great things.” 

“Well, I should hope so.” Two dimples pop out on the sides of his cheeks as he smiles while pushing his hair back and off his forward. “But I’m curious, are they talking about my directing skills or how I fuck?” 

I keep myself composed, even though all I want to do is tell him that my information is coming from the videos that I’ve watched of him. I gather up all the confidence in my body and say, “Both, but I guess I’ll only be seeing one of those talents today.” 

A confused look flashes across his face, but he doesn’t let it last. His lips perk up and he quietly says, “We’ll see about that.” Now it's my turn to be confused. I open my mouth to ask him what he means by that but he stops me. “Honey, would you mind joining me in my office? I just want to go over a few things with you, if that’s all right.” 

“Of course. Whatever you need.” Harry places his hand on my lower back and escorts us out of the room. His office isn’t too far away, but the walk is filled with a thick tension. He ushers me in, and tells me to sit on the couch like the one similar to mine in my dressing room. Harry takes a seat next to me, not sitting behind the desk which honestly makes me feel more equal to him. 

“As you may know, my videos are praised for how real and authentic they seem. I don’t do the corny pizza delivery guy bullshit or any of those cheesy porns that have terrible dialogue and even worse acting. I like to make everyone on set feel comfortable, so that they can actually feel the pleasure instead of faking it. Does that make sense?” He crosses one of his legs over the other, and the way his trousers move it showcases his thick thighs bulging under the surface of the fabric. 

“It makes perfect sense, and I really respect what you are doing here. Most of the time they just throw me in a room with a guy and just tell me to fuck him.” 

“I can promise you that’s not gonna be the case today, but I do need to ask you a few questions. You can answer whichever ones you want or not if you don’t want to.”  I nod my head at him, telling him I understand. That smirk reappears on his face, but this time I don’t get so flushed. The way he’s looking at me makes me want to sit on top of his desk and have his head be buried in my cunt. “I just need to know so I can fuck you just how you like it.” 

“Y-you’re gonna be the one fu- in the scene with me?” My heart rate picks up in anticipation and I hope I didn’t just hear him wrong. He hasn’t done a video in such a long time. Why would he start now? 

“That wasn’t the original plan.” Harry stands up, walking closer to me before crouching down in front of me. His knees touch mine and even through the fabric of both of our clothes I can feel his warm skin. “When I was looking for the girl for this shoot I came across one of your videos.” Harry’s fingertip grazes over my knee and he starts to draw circles on it. “It was just you, laying on a bed, with a vibrator on your pretty little pussy.” He looks up at me, and grabs a hold of my jaw. “You had beautiful moans coming from these lips. I just knew that I couldn’t sit there and watch someone fuck you, not when I could be the one doing it.” 

I turn my head, still keeping eye contact with him. His thumb that was on my jaw now rests against the skin of my lips. I puker them, softly kissing his thumb before taking it into my mouth for just a moment. “You want to fuck me, Harry?” His eyes are dark, lustfully watching as I kiss his thumb, suck on it, and then let it plop from between my lips. 

“Oh, honey.” Harry moves his hand away from my face, placing it on my knee again. With both hands, he pushes my thighs apart and situates himself between them. “You have no fucking clue.” I burn under his gaze. His touch is light and teasing, kneading the muscles of my thighs while he looks up at me. “I still need you to answer a few questions for me. Can you do that for me, honey?” 

“Please, call me Emma.” I don’t mind being called Honey. In fact it makes me feel confident and sexy, but right now I just want to feel real with him. 

“Okay, Emma. Are you okay with me warming you up before we shoot? I can do it right here, spread you out and make you come on my fingers so you're more sensitive while we film. You need to be warm, wet, and ready for me.” 

Harry kisses up the length on my pant leg, placing his lips right on top of the sem and stopping when he gets close to my center. “Yes, please make me come, Harry.” After I give him the okay, he doesn't waste a second before undoing the button on my pants and pulling them down my legs. He takes in the sight of my red lace thong and by the way the air creates a cool sensation on my panties, I know I’m wet for him; and he can see it. 

“I’m gonna ask you a few questions, but you have to promise me that you’ll answer them truthfully, okay?” 

Harry patiently awaits an answer, starting to slowly kiss up my thigh. He kisses both of my knees and continues to switch between both legs as he travels upwards until he reaches my midthigh and sits back up. “Yeah, I-I’ll answer them.”

“Let’s start with an easy one.” Harry drags his hands across my skin, nails scratching slightly. He finds my hips, tracing his thumb in the crease where my hip bends from sitting down. “Are you okay with me kissing you?” 

“Yes, I actually prefer it.” With the grip on my hip, he pulls me to the edge of the couch so I’m barely even sitting on it. He leans into me, pressing his chest against mine as he tucks himself into my neck. 

“Hmm,” His curls tickle my cheek, his sweet smell overpowers me, and his nose teases up my neck. “Is there anything that’s a hard no for you during sex?” I don’t want to do anything you’re not comfortable with.” 

The fact that he isn’t even asking me these questions puts me at ease. Though I haven’t had a lot, my costars never asked me what I was or wasn’t comfortable with. The directors never cared, only making sure every piece of dialogue and every cue on the script was hit. 

“You can do anything to me. If it’s you doing it, I know I’ll like it.” 

“You’re stroking my ego here, Em.” 

The tip of his nose grazes my jawline before it's replaced by his lips. He is still holding onto my hips and even though I love his hands there I wish he would touch me elsewhere. Just from him being this close to me, my cunt is slick and my clit is throbbing, waiting to be touched. 

“I’ve watched you before. I know how you fuck, so anything you want to do go right on ahead. I can take you, Harry.” 

“Oh, I have no doubts about that.” Placing a kiss on my cheek, he stands up and sits down next to me again. “Stand up.” Obeying, I stand up on shaking legs and turn to face him. Legs spread, arms stretched out along the back of the couch, and a smirk on his face, Harry sits there eyeing me up and down. “Strip for me. Let me see what’s mine for today.”

I cross my arms, grabbing the hem of my t-shirt and pulling it over my head. His eyes move to my chest, taking in the matching red lace bra. Harry takes one arm off the back of the couch to adjust himself in his pants as he continues to take me in. “You know, it’s not fair that I’m half naked and you’re still completely clothed.” 

Harry clears his throat and reaches out to grab my hips to turn me around. “This isn't about me.” His fingers find the band on my underwear and my breath hitches when he starts to slowly pull them down. In the wake of the fabric, he kisses where it once laid. “So sit down on my lap.” Pulling on my hips, he sits my naked bottom half on his fully clothed lap.  “Spread your legs.” I hook a leg over each one of his thighs and lean back onto his chest. “And let me make you come, so I can fuck you how I want later.” 

The rings on his fingers are cold on my blazing skin. Touching over the expanse of my stomach, my hips, my thighs and briefly the tops of my breasts he teases me with everything I want while simultaneously avoiding the place I need him most. 

My pussy is soaked with my arousal, dripping down and probably landing on his trousers, but at this moment I can’t find it in myself to care. 

“Do you want me to just rub your clit and get you off that way, or do you want me fingers? Stretch you out a little bit so I fit nice and snug in you?” 

I tilt my head to the side to find him already looking at me. Our lips are so close I fainting feel his skin, but we both don’t make the move to lean in; to fuel the fire we both feel growing. “Want your fingers. Please.”  

Harry looks down at my lips for a brief second before turning his head away from me. Out of the corner of my eye I see him looking at my body that’s spread out for him and the lust in his eyes is unmistakable. 

I take advantage of his head facing forward and tuck my face in the crook of his neck. He smells even better this close up. His smell is sweet, reminding me of walking into a bakery while also being smokey, like a fresh campfire on a fall evening. 

I repeat his actions from early, gliding my nose across his neck. When his fingers finally touch my cunt I whimper into his skin. I accidentally bite into his neck from the shock of finally feeling him. “Hey. You can’t mark me yet, Em. Wait until later and you can leave your marks anywhere you want.” 

The tips of his fingers trace over my entrance, gathering up all the wetness caused by him. He drags them up and uses my arousal to start slowly drawing circles on my clit. Instead of biting him I kiss down the side of his neck to try and quiet my cries of pleasure. 

“Maybe I didn’t even need to warm you up. You were soaked before I even touched you.” 

In my desire induced haze I accidentally say, “I always get so wet for you.” My cheeks heat up with embarrassment and if I could bury myself into his neck anymore I would. 

“Oh?” His fingers speed up, making me squirm in his lap. “Are you telling me you’ve watched my videos while rubbing this little clit of yours? You’ve came from watching me fuck someone else. Is that what you’re telling me?” 

From the bulge pressing into my ass, it’s obvious this is turning him on. I let my embarrassment slip away and just let myself be in the moment with him. “Yes, Harry. I’ve always wanted to fuck you.” 

“Well, it’s my lucky day isn't it, baby?” He doesn’t warn me before filling my pussy with his fingers. Long, thick, and ring clad, his fingers work against my g-spot. Combined with the teasing and his relentless strokes on my clit, my stomach begins to tingle and the muscles in my cunt squeeze around his fingers. 

“God, Harry. I’m so fucking close.” His movements are slow and skillful, not needing to go fast and hard to make me reach my end. 

“You’re a sensitive little thing, aren’t you?” His fingers stop fucking me, but he presses his fingertips up into my g-spot and massages the spot that makes me see stars. Somehow he’s lifted the hood of my clit so he’s directly on my nerves. “Can’t wait to get you underneath me, so I can fuck you into the sheets. Spread your pussy out and take you just like I fucking want.” 

I throw my head back on his shoulder, needing some fresh air. My lungs can hardly keep up with my shallow breaths and I’m so dizzy I feel like I could pass out. “Please, Harry. I need to cum.” 

“You don’t have to ask me. Just let go, honey. Make a mess of me.” 

And so I do. I feel myself clench around his fingers and my ears start to ring. The sound of his voice telling me how good I am filters through the noise, but for the most part I can’t focus on anything except the pure bliss running through my veins. Harry kisses my cheek, as he coaxes me through my orgasm. “Good girl, Em.” 

I fully relax into his chest as I come down from the high. He slips his fingers out from me and puts them up to my mouth. “I would love nothing more than to taste you right now, but I want to make sure the first time I do it’s caught on camera.” 

Harry drags my come across my bottom lip before slipping his fingers into my mouth. He lets me take my time cleaning his fingers up and he keeps eye contact with me the whole time. 

“What do we do now?” I ask after his fingers leave my mouth. 

“You are gonna go get a snack, get your hair and makeup done, and get dressed.” He pinches my bare hip which makes me yelp, but he just smiles at me. “But you gotta get off my lap so you can do that.” 

It’s crazy to see him go from this sexy dominant male to someone who is also playful. It makes my heart beat faster in my chest when he looks at me with a smile. 

I climb off him and go to grab a tissue from his desk to clean off the mess between my thighs. “Nope. None of that.” He snatches the tissue from my hand and puts it in his pocket. 

“I can’t clean myself up?” I cross my arms over my chest and for a second I forget I’m just in my bra, but I’m reminded when Harry’s eyes travel down to my tits. 

“No.” He walks over to my underwear that were haphazardly discarded and kneels before me. Tapping on the side of my ankle, he silently tells me to raise my foot so he can dress me. “While you are getting ready I want you to think about how wet you are. I want you to feel your come on your thighs and think about what we are gonna do. How I’m gonna fuck you. How I’m gonna make you come again.” He kisses my hip bone before standing up, dragging the fabric along with it. Harry makes sure it’s in place and snaps the band against my skin. “I’ll see you later, honey.” 

Throughout getting my hair and makeup done I shift unfavorably in my seat. My underwear is absolutely ruined from my orgasm, but now it's slick with my want for Harry. I can’t stop thinking about what we are about to do. 

In front of me lies my ‘script’. There isn’t much in it other than some lines I need to say. The premise of the whole video is a couple waking up tangled in the sheets together after being away from each other for a while. 

I think about what I plan on doing to him as the girls around me talk amongst themselves. Usually I would partake in these conversations and make friends with them, but right now my brain can only focus on one thing. 

They curl my hair, fluff it out and apply some light makeup to my face. I didn't want any foundation on because it will just get smudged anyway and I don’t want to look sloppy, so all I have on is some mascara and a light lip gloss. 

A silk black robe is wrapped around my body with my skin bare underneath and matching black slippers are on my feet. It was awkard taking my clothes off in front of the wardrobe person, especially considering the poor excuse of fabric that was my underwear. 

 The air is cold in the hallway as I walk towards the studio room and I know everyone that passes me can see my nipples through my robe. 

The room that was once filled with maybe five people now houses twelve. It’s hard to walk in the room with how many bodies there are and I barely see Harry through the crowd. I protectively shield my chest away from prying eyes and lower my head. 

Harry has changed from earlier, now wearing a black fitted t-shirt that shows off his muscles and a pair of grey sweatpants. I can tell by the bulge in his pants that he isn’t wearing any underwear and the sight instantly makes my mouth water. 

He finds my eyes across the room and at first he smirks at me, taking in my skimpy robe and the exposed skin on my thighs. He must see the apprehension in my eyes because he looks around the room and shakes his head. “Anyone who doesn’t absolutely need to be in here needs to get out.” 

Disapproving sighs are heard around the room, but they don’t hesitate to listen to him. Harry is known for being a sweet and caring guy but I’ve also heard that he isn’t afraid to put his foot down when he needs to. 

He waits until all unnecessary personnel exit the room, being left with the camera man and the sound lady. “Are you ready?” Harry kneels on the opposite side of the bed and puts his hands on his hips. 

“More than ready.” I pull the blanket back, ready to slip under the covers and Harry does the same. “Do you usually wear that to bed?” I say referring to his outfit. 

“I could ask you the same.” He grabs the sting that keeps my robe closed and tugs on it, not hard enough to open it, but just enough to pull me closer to him. 

“No. I usually sleep naked. Shouldn’t we make this as natural as possible?” I wink at him and pull his hands so the string gets loose. The silk moves against my skin as the front opens, but I only allow Harry to see me. 

His eyes drink me in, looking at every exposed piece of skin I have to offer. “Are you trying to be the director now? Trying to steal my job are you?” 

“Maybe.” I shrug. “I bet I could do a better job.” 

Harry reaches into my robe, pinches my hip and says, “Get that robe off and get under the covers.” The dimples that I’ve come to love poke out as I do as he says. 

Harry walks over to the two other people in the room and says something inaudible as I get myself comfortable. He must have told them to leave, because after they check the equipment they both turn around and leave. I’m used to people seeing me naked now and I’m not ashamed of having sex in front of people. In all actuality it turns me on knowing that people are watching me and my partner, but we are only focused on each other. 

“You didn’t have to kick them out. This isn’t my first rodeo.” I lay my head up against the headboard and watch as he starts to take his shirt off. No matter how many times I see his bare chest I still swoon every time. This is my first time seeing it in person and I can't wait to leave little love marks on him like he said I could earlier. 

“I know. I didn’t want them in here.” 

“Why?” 

“Just didn’t want them to be in here.” He bends down to take his sweats off, only leaving him in his underwear, before climbing into bed with me. 

“Won’t it be hard without them in here?” 

Harry turns towards me and leans on his elbow. “Those cameras over there are already filming and there are mics around the room to pick up your pretty noises that men are gonna drool over, so no, it won’t be.” He pulls the blanket down to expose my breasts. Leaning forward he takes my nipple in his mouth and lightly swirls his tongue around it. “Just lay down, act like you are asleep, and then wake your loving boyfriend up so he can fuck you senseless, okay?” 

“Whatever you say, director.” He chuckles at me and lays down. I press my naked body up against his half naked form and he groans. 

“Should have thought the whole naked thing through. I already need to be inside of you, so let’s hurry up.” I laugh into his chest and pretend like I’m peacefully sleeping on his chest for a while. 

Under the sheets, I discreetly sneak my hand from his tummy to the tops of his boxers. Being the professional he is, he doesn’t make any noise or give any indication that I’m close to touching him. 

I feel guilty because he got me worked up already and I haven't given him anything in return, so I pretend to wake up and lovingly look over at him. To portray the act of being his girlfriend, I caress his face, push back his hair, and take in the way he looks while he’s relaxing. 

I know he isn’t asleep, but he looks so cute and peaceful laying here like this with me. Throwing back the covers, I expose myself to the camera and run my hand along the top of his boxers. Harry stirs a little bit, trying to look like he’s waking up, but he keeps his eyes closed. 

“I’ve missed you, baby.” I whisper to him while dragging his underwear down his narrow hips. His cock is half hard, laying against his stomach. I take him into my hand, and his warm skin feels so nice against mine. I position myself between his legs while working my hand up and down his shaft. “Wake up, Harry. You’ve been gone for too long. I need you.” 

Once he’s fully hard, I put his tip in my mouth lightly sucking on it while my left hand reaches down to grab his balls and squeeze them. A little moan escapes him and he moves around more as he ‘wakes up.’ I take him further into my mouth, letting him tap the back of my throat before coming back up to lick at his tip. 

I hunch over him more, so I’m on my knees as I blow him. I continue to bob up and down, letting him stay in my throat for longer periods of time. His hands sneak into my hair and pushes it away from my face so he can watch me. “You just have to have my cock in your mouth first thing in the morning don’t ya, honey?” 

His dick pops out of my mouth and I replace it with my hand. I lay my head on his thigh, batting my eyelashes up at him while I jerk his dick in my hand. “I’ve just missed you, didn’t you miss me?” I pout my lip out at him slightly, playing into the needy and horny girlfriend role. Honestly, I don't have to even act that part. My pussy is a mess and I know the camera behind me is picking up on just how wet I am. 

“Of course I did.” He grabs the side of my head and hovers me over his wet dick. “Now, put my cock back in your mouth so I can show you just how much I missed you.” I don’t know why he asked me because he doesn’t wait for me to lower my mouth on him all the way before he’s thrusting into my mouth. 

Harry controls my head, fucking my throat while he lays under me. His moans are sinful, and make my cunt even more slick. I run my hands up and down his thigh, stopping over the tiger and scratching at it with my nails. “Fuck.” He moans at the pain and fucks my throat even harder. “Am I not fucking your mouth hard enough? Huh? You wanted me to go even harder?” 

I pinch his hip, telling him it’s okay to keep going and he does. Harry’s hips come off the bed while he pulls my head down over and over again. Tears leak from my eyes from the pressure, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Throughout all my sexual experiences I don’t think any man has even been this vocal in bed with me. His voice is rough and raspy and his moans are deep and sultry. Every word he says drips off his tongue like honey. 

Harry suddenly pulls out of my mouth and forces my head to look up at him. “Get up here now. Need this little pussy in my tongue now, before I fuck you.” 

The thought of his mouth on me makes me squirm and I move fast at his words. I crawl over his body,  touching his chest and arms on my way up. “Can I get a kiss first, please?” 

“Don’t have to ask me, baby.” Harry grabs the back of my head and pulls me down to his warm lips. Kissing him feels exactly how I pictured. He’s soft but rough, fast but takes his time, and in control while making me feel like I hold the power. His tongue works against mine and I find myself loving the way he tastes. 

I pull back from his lips, knowing if I don’t stop we’ll  just kiss the entire time. If this was just for us, I would kiss him until my lips bruise and all the air evaporates from my lungs, but this isn’t just for us. Grabbing his cheeks, I open his mouth wide. “Stick your tongue out for me, baby. I need to make sure you’ll be wet enough to fuck my pussy with your tongue.” 

“Don’t think I’ll need it with how wet you get, but I’ll never pass up the opportunity.” Harry winks at me as I spit into his mouth. My mouth is sloppy from the kiss we shared and the way he was relentless fucking up into my mouth causing a string of I admire how it looks sitting on his tongue, ready to be used. 

Harry grabs my ass and pulls me until I’m straddling his head. He yanks my hips down, forcing me to fully sit on his face. His moan is unmistakable as he tastes me for the first time and I simultaneously moan at the feeling of his tongue on my clit. 

Grabbing onto his hair for stability and also rocking my hips against his tongue I utter, “Fuck, Harry.” My clit is so sensitive from my orgasm and I know it wouldn’t take me much to finish again. His tongue licks from my entrance to my clit where he sucks it into his mouth and shakes his head to stimulate it further. I sound like I just ran a marathon with how heavy I’m breathing, but I can’t even find the time to be embarrassed about it. 

It comes to a surprise to me when I feel his hand smack my ass once on each cheek, making my skin sting. Harry pulls away from my pussy just for a moment, “Can you not take me sucking on your little clit, baby? Does it feel too good?” He doesn’t wait for a response, just dives back into my cunt and sucks my clit into his mouth once again. As he shakes his head back and forth, his stubble on his cheeks rubs against the inside of my thigh creating a nice achy burn that I will feel tomorrow morning. 

When he smacks my ass again, I cry out and lean my head against the headboard. “Keep doing that, Harry. You’re gonna make me cum.”

“You like me smacking your ass that much, honey?” I nod my head and whimper. He does it again and I nearly come just from that. “You’re such a dirty little thing.” 

After a few more licks at my clit, I come all over his face and start shaking above him. My legs feel like jello and I don’t even know how I’m going to move from the position. “I could make you come on my face like that all fucking day, such a great thing to wake up to.” Harry realizes my weak legs and he runs his calloused hands over my hips and down my thighs. “You still want me to fuck you? Show you how much I’ve missed being deep in your little cunt?”  

“Yes. Please, I need you inside me.” Harry reaches up and wraps his hand around my throat. Before I can even comprehend the fact that his long fingers, that I came around earlier, are around my neck he pushes me off his chest and down to the bed beside him. 

Instinctively, my legs part for him and he gladly slides between them. His dick slides between my slick lips, tip lightly touching my still aching clit. “I can’t wait til I slip right into you.” Harry presses a light kiss to my lips, trailing them over to my cheek, across my jawline, and down my neck. As he goes further down, sucking light bruises into the skin of my breasts, he pinches my chin and turns my head until I’m watching us in the mirror. “But you gotta keep your eyes on me.” 

“But-” 

He climbs up my body, and whispers in my ear, “Listen to me, Em. Be a good girl and listen to me, okay?” 

“O-okay.” My body shivers, hearing him call me my name during sex is everything I didn’t think I needed, but now it’s all I want. Harry trails my body in kisses again and this time I keep my eyes on him in the mirror. He buries his face into my cleavage, licking, kissing, and sucking my skin, leaving his mark behind. His large hands take in both of my breasts when he starts giving my stomach the same attention. 

“Are you dripping yet for me? Do you think I could slip right in?” 

“I don’t know. I guess you could always find out.” I tease. Harry turns his head and looks at me in the mirror. He takes in the smirk on my face and shakes his head while biting his lip. 

“I love that mouth of yours,” Fingertips trace the outline of my lips, taunting me, “but I think I can find a different use for it.” Now fully hovering me, he grabs my hips and wraps my legs around his waist. “I want to hear those pretty little noises you make.” Sitting up on his knees, Harry holds my hip with one hand while lining his cock up to my entrance. “You think you can do that for me? Can you tell me how good I’m fucking you?” 

“Yes, Harry. Just please, fuck-” Before I finish my sentence, Harry is already pushing into me, stretching my pussy out just for him. We both moan out at the feeling, and my nails dig into his abs. Red angry marks are left over the ink of his butterfly tattoo and I wish I had the time to admire the marks I made. 

“Yeah, that’s good.” Harry finally sinks into me all the way and both of his hands are now gripping my hips with a fierce strength. “Mark me like that, baby. Mark me however you want.” 

When my nails dig into his biceps he hisses and starts fucking into my relentlessly. Harry thursts into me while also using his grip on me to fuck my cunt onto his cock. The sound of our skin slapping against each other and the pleasure we are giving each other fills the room. 

I find myself thankful that he kicked everyone out. Usually in these situations I find myself faking the moans, the pleasure, on my face, and the way my body is moving, but with him everything is natural. 

I look at us in the mirror, with Harry now hovering over me and whimpering my name over and over again in my ear. His back muscles bulge and claim my attention as he fucks into me, deep and slow. His pelvis stimulates my clit every time he pushes deeper in me and I reluctantly take my eyes off him to throw my head back in pleasure. 

“Takin’ me so good, Em.” He captures my lips in a kiss and our tongues clash. “I’m gonna need you again, but next time I want you all to myself.” Harry picks up in pace and I can barely hear him over the sound of my own moans. “Just for us, no one else.” 

“I-I think I like the sound of that.” I clench down around his dick that’s soaked in my arousal and I feel the ache in my  stomach, begging me for a release. 

“But you like getting fucked in front of people, don’t you? You like getting fucked like the slut that you are?” He’s so close to my ear that no one will be able to hear his words in the video, but I can and it’s making me drip past him and onto the bed sheets. 

If I answer him I know it would be loud, so all I do is nod. Harry slips out of me and I whimper at the empty feeling. It doesn’t last too long though, because Harry flips me around till I’m laying on my stomach and quickly fills me up again. 

“I wish I could fuck you in every position, but you feel too good squeezing me.” The tip of his dick massages directly into my g-spot with every thrust he gives me and I bite the pillow to subside my screams. “Nuh uh,” Harry wraps my hair around his hand and tugs my face to the side so I’m looking at the mirror.  “Need to see the pretty face as you come.” 

The grip on my hair is released and placed back on my hips to angle them upwards. I slip my hand between my legs and rub lazy circles into my clit. The small stimulation pushes me over the edge, and by the way Harry’s face scrunches up and the deep moans escaping him I know my own orgasm caused his. 

Breathlessly he falls forwards; forehead resting against the space between my shoulder blades. We stay like that for a while, catching our breaths and taking in each other. Harry kisses the skin of my back repeatedly as I sink into the sheets with him still inside me. 

“Well, Em. I think we made a good video.” 

[angelpuns]

50au part 26

When Leo woke, it was with a throbbing pain in his leg ( big shocker ) and a faint memory of the nightmare he'd had. 

He sat up as quickly as his aching muscle would allow it, glancing around the room.for evidence that it had been real. Because it had felt so, so real. 

His leg ached, sure, but it wasn't concrete enough. His room was dark, but everything seemed to be in place. His TV was still on his desk, where he'd moved it on a whim a few days ago. His bed was still halfway made and there were no green, shadowy mutants in the corner of his room. Even the step stool was gone. 

The camera! Leo squinted at the corner of the room, but there was nothing. Just darkness. 

“Holy shit I'm losing it…” He muttered, dragging a hand down his face. The TV flickered on a moment later, Leo only jumping a little bit. 

It was dark for a moment before a hand pulled away and a mutant - a turtle mutant - in bright orange grinned into the camera. 

“ Good Morning, Leo! You probably don't know who I am, but don't panic! First of all, there's water and medicine on your nightstand for your pain,” The turtle said cheerily. Leo glanced at his nightstand. Sure enough, there was two pills and a glass of water. 

Leo didn't like this, but he fought back the panic. Something was happening here, clearly, but his nightmare had been just that. A nightmare. Because there wasn't a shred of physical evidence it had actually happened, save for the weird TV shit happening and the water and meds. Which was still scary and weird, but not nearly as bad as the camera. 

“ don't panic, okay? I'll explain everything!” The turtle grinned. He seemed to be a bit nervous. That bothered Leo, but he kept watching. Because hopefully whatever this guy said would make sense and would clue him into what the hell was going on. 

“ So, like 4 or 5 days ago you were cursed, by a witch! Specifically a witch from witch town? And we all totally thought it was a dud, but it turns out that she actually curse you to forget all your memories of your family - that's us!” the turtle rambled on, “its kind of like 50 First dates, and you’re Drew Barrymore. I know that makes more sense then my explanation, except its not really a brain thing, its more like a mystical thing. Anyway, today we're going to help you get your memory back, by washing away the curse!”

The turtle leaned off screen for a moment, seemingly murmuring to someone else. 

“ oh, yes, and if we have to put you to sleep or something, we will. But we really don't want to, so please, please cooperate, okay?” 

The turtle gave him a wink and started to turn the camera off, before a voice off screen muttered something and he suddenly stepped back, “ oh, right!” 

“ I'm Mikey, and Raph and Donnie are here too! And we're your brothers! And we love you so much and-”

“Okay, Mikey, that's enough, he gets the point” someone off screen said, and Mikey chuckled. 

“Okay, here's a montage and a message from Donnie! Love you lots!” he added, before the video shut off and was replaced with a montage of pictures and video clips of- of Leo. Leo and some.other turtle mutants he’d never seen before. 

And the most shocking and horrific thing was that the purple turtle mutant from his dream was there too. He swallowed down the panic that made him feel. Because that was a lot of evidence that his nightmare had been real. And that these guys were evil and going to something to him and- 

The montage ended and the purple turtle appeared on the screen. He looked tired. But he didn't look as menacing as he had in Leo's dream, and  he didn't even look injured. From what Leo remembered, he'd punched this guy hard enough to break something. But he looked fine.

So it- it had to be a dream, right? 

“ ‘Nardo, I’m sure you're really confused and scared and- and you can't possibly believe us, but I promise you we're not going to hurt you,” He started, sighing deeply, “ I am not going to hurt you. We just want to get rid of this curse and- and if for some reason we can't and you're stuck like this…then we’ll figure something else out. But we are not going to hurt you, I promise. So please cooperate and let us help you, okay?” 

The video flickered off, and Leo was left alone in his dark, silent room. 

He let out a shaky breath. He knew they were probably waiting on him out there. Maybe with weapons or some kind of evil plan. 

Or maybe they were just waiting to see if he was going to hear them out. 

He honestly didn't know if he believed it. Any of it. Because the dream had seemed so real, and he knew his own memories. He trusted his memories. But…

Leo looked down at his hands. He really didn't have a choice but to trust them.

---

My back still hurts and I wrote this one last night as well so I don't have much to say bout it. Hope y'all enjoy tho <3333

part 1 | part 25

[foreverisntenough]

‘OURS’

Summary: You were his and he was yours but what would it be like adding one more? Thrust into a whirlwind romance you never could’ve imagined that became your forever love. You continue building a new life across the pond with a very beautiful Scouser. A sequel to the ‘You’re Mine’ fic.

INDEX

Warnings: This series is 18+ and will contain fluff, suggestion, SMUT (unprotected sex,) pregnancy, parenting, mental health struggles, eating disorder, self doubt, body image issues, daddy kink, angst, alcohol consumption - not sure what else really… if i miss anything please lmk!

Note: Thank you for reading! Please be sure to like, comment, or message me what you think of the series! Try not to nitpick with any real pregnant/ baby logistics it’s better if you just read along happily :)

Chapter 26 - Back at Home | ‘Ours’

word count - 11.2k

“One more set, yeah?” Trent yelled out to you from the other side of the court bouncing a tennis ball again and again onto the ground and back up into his hand waiting for you. You sat on the clay court sweating with your head tucked between your knees, breathing heavily in your tiny white tennis dress, absolutely knackered.

“No, we are done. You’ve had your fun.” You shook your head refusing to make eye contact with him. Trent had beat you in straight sets… twice. It’s not even that you were bad at tennis, he just was very good and very determined to win. You were slightly more indifferent about your game of tennis today. Trent was not going to sacrifice his pride and let you win and you knew that, you should’ve remembered it though when you agreed to the match. Marriage be damned Trent Alexander-Arnold wasn’t loosing a game.

“I think I want to build a court at the house. I want to teach Ted tennis. I think it could be her thing.” He cooed, pulling the net down with his hand and stepping over it coming towards you. You finally picked your head up with a smile. It was both very cute but slightly ridiculous to want to build a tennis court at your home. It slowly but surely started to feel like a sports complex in your back garden. The pool, the turf pitch, there was half of a basketball court as well, and now he wanted to add tennis into the mix. Whatever he wanted though. To be fair, it was quite fun and cool he could just decide that and you were sure in a month's time you’d be going out to sit court side to watch him and Teddy attempt to rally.

“Her thing?” You asked him with a cute tired smile. Trent wanted Teddy to be good at sports and that was abundantly clear but with the general public constantly pushing the narrative that she had to play football, ‘project TAA’ trended when you announced the pregnancy. It wasn’t something he felt all that comfortable with. Of course, he wanted her to, they played a lot together and watched a lot of football together. He hoped she’d like it but he wanted her to make the decision for herself if she ever wanted to do it.

“Yeah, I mean she’s going to be sick at any sport but we could do this one together. Could be nice, no?” He explained plopping himself to sit on the court next to you. One thing was certain to Trent though, Teddy was going to be excellent at everything she ever did. Even in her failures he’d think she was incredible and her efforts always valiant. She’d fumble in the grass trying to run as fast as she could and the look in his eyes was as if she’d won a gold medal. That’s not to knock Teddy either, she was fairly coordinated for her age, his belief in her though was astronomical in size.

“I’m sure she’d love it, T. Not so sure she’d want you to just torment her the way you just did to me for the past few hours but in general I know she’d love more time with daddy.” You cooed shuffling to lay your head on his shoulder. He draped his strong arm closest to you around your shoulder and pulled you tight into him. He kissed your temple with a hum.

“Torment is unfair. You just weren’t dialed in, ya know? I was thinking that when we play next time…” Trent began on a rambling tangent or analysis of sorts about your performance. It could be something you’d find annoying or offensive but when Trent talked about something with so much passion and enthusiasm you just wanted to listen to it for ages. He cared about you and so he had things he wanted to say. It was a loving way of lending his opinion and assistance. “I think when you serve if you tossed the ball a bit higher it’d make such a difference, baby. Honest.” He cooed focused on bouncing the tennis ball again in front of you two. You just hummed in agreement with a smug smile. He was right. He was always right. That was the other thing that made the babbling all the more endearing. He knew what he was talking about.

“I will give it a go next time. Thank you for the advice, pretty boy.” You giggled a little as he stood up first and pulled you up by your hands. You dusted off your ass that had chalky dust from the court all over you but you began to care less and less when you became distracted watching Trent peel his sweaty t-shirt off over his head. There was something incredibly sexy about him when he worked out or was just sweaty. It should be gross and yet there were few things that turned you on quite like it.

“Maybe you can give me private lessons when you build the court at the house.” You spoke softly to him walking over to the side of the fenced in area now. You watched his back muscles move as he put the rackets away and your mouth watered. You move to run your hands up and down his back, over his strong muscles and he purred letting his head drop back towards you with a relaxed expression. You let your hands run lower down him until you reached the waistband of his shorts and then you glided your hands around his waist toying with it. “You know, I heard a lot of people sleep with their tennis instructors, baby.” You informed him. You were being cheeky but there was some truth to your trope. You knew a few marriages from growing up that had fallen victim to country club affairs. This was not that obviously. You were just being playful. He hummed, placing his hands over top of yours on his shiny tanned skin. He looked fucking delicious. You wanted a bite and so you took one. You pressed your lips to his back and worked kisses up his skin but when you reached his shoulder you bit down cheekily. He flicked his gaze to the side to see you with a handsomely conniving grin. “Yeah, but you wouldn’t mind. You could teach me… and then you could play with me…” you whispered to him, dropping your tone. Trent could feel his heart begin to race and slam against his chest. The hot air of the Mediterranean somehow feeling impossibly hotter than before The growing bulge in his shorts, anything but subtle. “And then of course we’d have to stretch after.” You kept talking with blatantly coy innuendos.

“Of course. Would need to stretch you out. Can't have you getting hurt” Trent provided an ad lib that had your pussy throbbing. Everything about this moment was sexy; the way he looked, the way he felt, the way he smelt, the way he sounded, it had you reeling.

“Right, I would definitely need it and then after that cool down I’d have to shower so.” You dragged your hands over his abs and then dipped slightly into the waistband of his shorts. Trent shuttering a little, having to take a deep breath, you then pulling your hands back up the muscles.

“I can help you there as well.” He cooed, grabbing your hands and spinning around in your embrace. He wrapped his arms around your own waist swiftly as you moved to drape yours up over his shoulders. He dragged his hands over the curve of your ass and then to the underside of your thighs before he picked you up with ease.

“Wow. That sounds…mmmph.” You couldn’t even finish your sentence. You smiled at him with a sultry smirk before diving back into your silly roleplay. “What a thorough instructor. How much does all this cost?” You giggled in his arms as he narrowed his gaze into your eyes. Your legs wrapped around his waist and he moved over to the bench off to the side of the court taking a seat, you coming down with him to straddle him now.

“For you pretty girl? Free but I have a few prerequisites.” He answered your question. You raised your eyebrow and bit your lip to hold back a juvenile excited smile forming on your face to hear his response. “Erm well thing is you’ve got to be my wife for the rest of your life and you’ve got to be a good girl f’me the whole time.” He cooed quietly in a way that shivers racing down your spine. You leaned forward and pressed your nose to his.

“I definitely will be both of those things forever.” You whispered before taking his bottom plump lip between your teeth and pulling it.

You boarded the private plane home and felt an odd mix of emotions. Part of you couldn’t wait to get back home to your baby girl and regular life but another part of you would’ve loved to stay on your honeymoon for the rest of your life. Spending time with Trent alone was so refreshing and almost energizing to your relationship. It was nice to be just you. Not parents, not a footballer, whatever it was, it was just so good to be Y/N and Trent together but your heart had a slight ache the whole time thinking about your little girl.

“You’re very pretty.” You whispered, running your hand over Trent’s hair. He was laying on top of you on a couch in the plane’s cabin. His cheek resting on your stomach. He looked like an angel. His features had gone more soft as he laid there resting.

“I’m sleeping.” Trent mumbled out against your warm skin. His plump lips moving flush against you too tired to prop his face up any to speak any more clearly. He had pulled up your shirt to lay directly on your stomach. He didn’t want any barrier between you two. For some reason he was being incredibly clingy for the last day and a half. He said he was fine but you knew it probably had to do with the fact that Liverpool’s preseason tour was so soon and he’d have to be away from you and Teddy.

“And you’re still very pretty.” You scratched at his scalp gently and he hummed nuzzling into you more. You weren’t looking forward to his departure but another season would be exciting. That was your life. That is quite literally what you legally had signed up for the other week, Mrs. Trent Alexander-Arnold would be at football matches guaranteed at least for the foreseeable future until he retired and probably still would be after that.

In swift succession your flight landed, you got in the car, and then you arrived at home. Trent let out a dramatic sigh as you walked into the house. He carried all your luggage and his inside and plopped it all in the foyer beside the door, the way that always drove you nuts. Trent started to laugh as he proceeded further into the house when he noticed a pause in your strides behind him seeing him drop it all there. Your brow furrowed as to why he was giggling away. He turned around cheekily and gave you a wink.

“I’m kidding! I know, I know. I will bring them upstairs, beautiful.” He sang to you bringing his hand to your waist pressing a kiss to your forehead. You muttered ‘so annoying.’ under your breath as you rolled your eyes. “Huh? Got something to say to me, your husband, the man you willingly chose to marry?” He cockily laughed while beginning to pick up all of the bags.

“No, baby.” You giggled, shaking your head, coming to help him pick up a few of the smaller pieces. You carried it all upstairs and you unpacked slowly and methodically while Trent laid in bed after a shower. It was so good to be home. Honestly, it felt like you’d been gone for ages. Frankly, you kind of had been considering you had left for the wedding weeks ago. With the help of both your families you had gotten Teddy from the United States back to the United Kingdom, Tyler flying her home for you but she was at Dianne’s now waiting for you to come get her. You picked her up and naturally it was a reunion full of tears.

Trent had to immediately get into football mode. The next day he was on his way to preseason training at AXA. It was a little insane you were already back at the start of another season but this time as his wife. Like the wind, things returned to normal, you were home and Trent was leaving the house for football yet again.

“You’re so cute.” You cooed watching Trent put on his watch with real focus to fix it’s clasp. You kept your focus on him. He deserved your focus but he held it without even trying. He looked so cute. He stuck his tongue out into the corner of his mouth the same way Teddy replicated often and scrunched his nose up.

“What are you on about?” He asked you with a breathy childish giggle you loved to hear only further proving your point. He flashed a look your way once he clasped it. Your heart faltered a little. It had only been mere weeks of no football and it wasn’t ever all that different but it was cute to see Trent put on his new training gear for each season every year.

“You’re just so cute, T.” You pouted at him. It felt almost like he was getting ready for his first day of school and had gotten a new outfit for it. He threw his head to the side dramatically the same way a school kid would.

“The disrespect. I’m a man, baby.” He shot back with some classic Trent sass and feigned offense.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah but you’re also such a cutttieeee.” You sang, hopping off the edge of your bed and skipping over to him. You wrapped your arms around his waist with a tight squeeze. Trent was sexy and manly, no shadow of a doubt but he also had one of the cutest faces in the world. Those boba eyes and pouty lips just were everything.

“Alright, well, this ‘cutie’ is going to go to his adult job as a professional male athlete so goodbye.” He cooed, wrapping an arm around you. He kissed your hair, breathing you in, relishing in a last moment of your comfort before he left for grueling workouts. He let go of you though more abruptly than you were expecting, walking to grab his phone off the nightstand. You thought he’d hold you a little longer.

“Wait… I don’t get a real kiss? I just called you cute and you’re gonna leave me without a kiss?” You looked at him shocked. He just shook his head at you. Of course, he wasn’t. That wouldn’t be any fun to just give into you. Your face dropped a little unintentionally offended that he just shook his head ‘no’ declining a kiss with you.

“You can’t call Teddy needy for me ever. Honestly. She learns this from you.” He laughed and you gave him a stubborn pout in return, something Teddy probably also learnt from you. “C’mere, you’re a joke but I love you.” He grabbed you and dragged you into him. He held your body in his arms and swayed you back and forth sillily. You smiled big up at him. He fairly harshly grabbed the back of your neck and pulled you into a deep kiss with a hum.

“And you feed into it! You love the attention so who's really to blame here?” You asked him cheekily, pulling away from a particularly good kiss.

“Mama up pleabs.” Teddy whined. Tears filled her lash line this morning as she stood looking up at you with big sleepy puppy dog eyes. She was still in her pajamas, cute as ever but the tears had been flowing since you’d arrived back home from Italy. Teddy was really emotionally attached to you and you weren’t sure how to manage it. Not in a bad way, it was okay, you were too paranoid not to check in with her doctors about it but you were worried about her dependency at first. It just made you want to coddle her, you hated staring into those pooling brown eyes. You never wanted to see her sad.

“My Teddy bear, it’s okay. I got you. Come on cute girl. Let’s make some breakfast for you and we can go sit outside in the sunshine, okay?” You attempted to put her down from your hold but you were met with more tears. Her little hiccups and sniffles from her cries breaking your heart. Teddy had been glued to you. You were trying to do anything to make her happy or distract her from the fact that you’d been apart for some time. You’d hope making her a breakfast she liked and playing outside would make her smile a bit.

“Mama nos. Up pleabs” Teddy pouted pleadingly at you pulling at your arms and waited diligently and fairly stubbornly until you picked her back up. She hadn’t let her own little arms wrapped around your neck loosen one bit since you had come back. She buried her face in your shirt, refusing to budge when you finally caved and picked her back up.

“Okay, okay. You just want mummy to hold you all day, huh?” You giggled brushing your hand over her curls, pressing a few gentle kisses to her cheek. She nodded sadly in response. “I’m not going anywhere, baby. I’ve got you. Aren’t you so happy that you, me and daddy are all back home together and the doggies?” You cooed and she hummed a ‘mmhmm’ sleepily hugging you. “We’ll have a fun day. You still have to tell mummy all the fun things you did at Mom Mom and Pop Pops. Can you tell me about how much fun you had at the beach with them and Win?” You asked her swiping your thumb under her eyes, catching some tears still slowly rolling down her soft skin.

“Missed my mama.” She cooed, rubbing her hands over her eyes awkwardly in the most adorable way in the funny way little kids did. Your bottom lip rolled. Teddy loved you and Trent. She wasn’t attached in a bad way but it was a hard thing to navigate how clingy she could get with you. With Trent so busy with football that was always an emotional departure each time and a confusing thing she hadn’t quite wrapped her head around entirely yet but sometimes you felt like she was all the more concerned when you weren’t around. That she was coming to terms that daddy had to travel for work and you’d see him on TV but where the hell did mummy think she was going? She was affectionate because you were affectionate and it was beautiful but you also wanted her to be strong, independent, and brave. You felt so guilty when you and Trent had said goodbye to her at once and knowing you had been together without her had her fairly upset. So what was her answer to what she did on her trip? She missed you, that's what she did.

“I know you did, Teddy bear but you had a fun time too. You were so brave on your plane ride home with Ty too. I heard you watched movies and had some snacks. Did you save me any goldfish crackers that Mum mum packed you, for me?” You asked her knowing that your mum had packed Teddy some for her flight home. It was a snack you introduced to Teddy when you were in the US and she loved the shape of them and of course the taste. She nodded. Dianne told you they were in her bag when you picked her up. Your mum had tucked some extra bags in with her things. “Oh wow! That's so nice of you. Thank you, sweet girl. My Teddy bear is such a big girl now. Mummy and Daddy are so proud of you for flying. You had lots of fun doing that, huh? Did you like traveling with Ty?” You asked her softly.

“Guess sos mama.” She answered you shyly, a little confused how she was able to feel both sad about missing you and happy about having fun with Tyler. She did really deserve your compliments. You were genuinely proud of her. She had flown home from New York with Tyler. He had some work things to do in Manhattan and some friends to see after the wedding so it had worked for him to get her and bring her back with him. She was chill and well behaved so it wasn’t exactly all that suprising news but it was cute that she was able to be brave like you hoped she’d be to fly home with her uncle, no mummy, no daddy. “And you know what else? I heard Pop Pop took you to get a really yummy treat a few nights that you liked. Do you remember what you had with him?” You asked her placing her back down on her own feet on the carpet crouching yourself down into a squat to get to her level to be eye to eye keeping your hand on her back.

“Chalk ice cweam.” She answered you in her best effort at pronouncing her dessert. You had heard all about ‘chalk ice cweam.’ They had gone out for ice cream one night and then another night and then another night by Teddy’s request. Your dad wanted to take Teddy to the ice cream shop he had always taken you and Winnie to while you two were growing up each summer. It made you melt like her ice cream cone had all over her tiny hand and white shirt in the photo your dad sent you. Teddy’s new obsession had taken on a life of its own from there. She loved it.

“Mmmmm was it so yummy? Mummy used to eat that with Pop Pop every summer time too. I loved it so much. My absolute favorite” You told Teddy and a pit formed in your stomach as the words fell out. Thinking about summers you’d spent indulging in ice cream cones with your dad, something you once loved so much made you sad and a little sick. Teddy was so excited by the treat and yet the idea of eating the dessert was horrifying to you now. You promised yourself you’d do everything you could to make sure Teddy never felt the way you did, what you did about something you used to love. You couldn’t let her develop this type of relationship with food or to be more honest, herself. “Do you know who else loves chocolate ice cream?” You cooed, starting to help her out of her cute printed pajamas trying to move on from your melancholy tornado of thoughts and get on with your morning. She shook her head ‘no.’ “Daddy does. You’re just like daddy, huh?” You smiled at her. That was a massive compliment to Teddy. That’s all she wanted. Trent was everything to her so her sleepy pout slowly curled into a proud smile. She just liked to copy him. She’d follow him around the house just wanting to do what he did. You got her changed and made your way to the kitchen for some pancakes and juice followed by a nice morning in the back garden. You had initially planned some fun activities and games but Teddy just wanted to be stuck to you so instead you compromised letting her snuggle up to you on a couch in the shade of the back patio playing more educational and less exerting games asking her questions about colors, numbers and spelling getting to see her mind develop in real time.

“Me, dada. Kiss Teddy.” Teddy yelled as she pulled at the hem of Trent’s shorts the second he walked into the house coming back from training. She had developed super senses. The ability to know the second when he arrived home. She just knew instantly and would dart to the door.

“Hi baby bear. What did you miss me or something?” Trent laughed at her overzealousness. She stood waiting impatiently and Trent knew it would drive her nuts if he held off any affection she was clearly, and to be fair, usually rightfully so, anticipating. “I am gonna go give mummy a kiss hello, okay?” Her brow furrowed. He wasn’t going to give her a cuddle? He’d been home for 60 seconds and even that was too long to wait for a kiss in her mind. What was this about?

“Dada no. Kiss Teddy first.” She huffed. She was right there and you weren’t even in the room, why was he leaving her? She couldn’t believe she finally had Trent back home with her and he wasn't fawning all over her like he normally did.

“Let me go give mummy a kiss.” He lightly jogged away from her but not leaving the room just around in a small circle in the foyer of your house. This probably wasn’t the time for these jokes considering her upset over you being apart. Teddy, shocked, stood still and her bottom lip began to quiver, her eyes filling quick with tears. “Oh no no no, don’t need to cry, my beautiful girl. I’m just kidding. C’mere. Always have a kiss for my Teddy.” Trent cooed, picking her up, giving her a peck on her little pout, brushing away her tears. “I’m sorry baby. I love you. Missed you all day.” He kissed Teddy again. And then again. And again. He peppered his kisses all over her before he just began blowing raspberries against her skin.

“Dada!” She squealed with giggles. You were just finishing letting the dogs back inside from the back garden but the beautiful cacophony of her giggles reached you. Teddy was with you originally but she took off running when her ‘super senses’ kicked in before your second dog made it in because she needed to greet him immediately upon entry.

“Greedy, greedy girl. Can you share dada with me?” You cooed, coming into the front room. Seeing Teddy finally back giggling made everything better. It put your heart and mind at ease. The two of them perfectly beautiful.

“No, mama. My dada.” Teddy clarified to you making sure you knew that he was hers. You frowned dramatically with a defeated huff before you turned away from them to leave the room. Frankly, you hoped that if you were treating Teddy as cheekily as you normally would her attachment post honeymoon would start to dilute. You’d coddle her but a good tease was welcomed.

“Mama … I’m sowwy. Can give my dada kiss if want, mama.” Teddy looked so sad as Trent placed her down. She grabbed at his hand and dragged him over towards you as if he was some sort of possession or item of hers to give.

“My dada.” You cooed possessively, turning around and draping and hanging your body weight onto Trent dramatically. Teddy had given you an inch and you took a mile in her eyes. She glared at you with a ‘don’t take it too far now’ type of stare which made you laugh.

“C’mere, pretty girl. Mwah!” Trent kissed you with a laugh knowing exactly what you were doing, you both were just provoking your daughter. It was in good humor but that was enough for now. You scooped up Teddy in your arms after and Trent pulled both of you into him. “Mummy is so silly, right baby? You and mama can have all the kisses now I’ve got both my beautiful girls back with me finally. Love you so much, yeah?” Trent kissed Teddy’s cheek and she giggled happy with the current arrangement.

Trent was leaving for Liverpool’s preseason tour tomorrow which wasn’t fun. It was always really hard. You hated being apart. It was definitely hard to explain to Teddy daddy was leaving for a week plus after he just was away. It was a mountain you were not looking forward to climbing. It was a rainy day and you were sat in the living room laid horizontally on the couch under a blanket. Teddy was playing with the dogs close by, messing about on the floor. Trent was upstairs preparing his things to pack for his fast approaching departure.

“Mama, what watching?” Teddy inquisitively asked, coming round the couch. She tilted her head interested. You sat up from your position on the couch and extended your arms towards her.

“I’m watching a tv show. Do you want to come and watch a Teddy and mama show with me instead?” You asked her sweetly and gently, deciding you could pause whatever you had on and jump to something for her. She nodded with an excited giggle running towards you. “Okay, one condition though.” You prefaced

“What mama?” She asked eagerly, climbing up on the couch into your lap pulling on you to get herself up to you.

“You have to snuggle up with mummy. Okays?” You told her and she wiggled in your lap moving to cuddle herself up to you goofily. She laid her head onto your thigh and wrapped her arms around your waist.

“What movie should we watch, Ted?” You cooed. You knew her answer already though. It had become her current fixation. Bless Tyler for enduring an eight hour travel day with her in the midst of this obsession.

“Poooh mama!” She yelped with a giggle. She was lovvving Winnie The Pooh. It kind of took you by surprise mostly because when you imagined having a baby you actually were curious what the latest and greatest movies, shows, and songs were for them now. Your dad had showed her it during the week of your wedding. Naturally she liked it. Before it even started when he had explained the main character, Pooh, was a bear and his name was her favorite (and only) aunt, Winnie, ticking two big* boxes for her. You hummed already navigating on the screen with the remote to start the movie.

“What are we watching?” Trent cooed coming downstairs into the room seeing you and Teddy cuddled up. Teddy incredibly focused on the screen, your gaze fixed on her wrapping her ringlet curls round your fingers.

“Dada, shhhh!” Teddy hissed pushing her finger to her mouth telling Trent essentially to shut up because Winnie the Pooh was on the screen.

“Oh wow, I am so sorry!” He puffed some air out his nose stifling a laugh. He was well aware of the fascination, he should’ve known better. He sat on the couch beside you manhandling you and by proxy Teddy into a cuddle with him. His arms around you, face buried in your neck pressing slow quiet kisses to your skin. Trent didn’t need to watch. You all had seen this movie a lot lately.

“We’re watching our favorite movie.” You answered him with a soft giggle. He hummed, not even needing a further explanation or title name. He knew immediately. The pugey little yellow bear on the screen also gave it away.

“Nah, I know what my favorite movie is and it is definitely not this one, baby.” He whispered, correcting you with his lips coming to ghost over the shell of your ear. You smirked having an inkling what he might be referring to. The cheeky direction of your thoughts was halted by a very agitated Teddy.

“Mama!! dada!!!” Teddy whipped around to glare at you both annoyed. Trent held his hands up in innocence, removing them from your sides and then naturally felt inclined to point at you to push the blame. You rolled your eyes at his childish behavior.

“Do I know this movie?” You craned your neck around, cooing in a significantly quieter voice hoping not to bother Teddy.

“Oh do you ever…” He whispered back and you felt your stomach drop a little in the best way. “You starred as the leading role. Main character, baby. Rave reviews about the performance I’ve heard as well.” He cheekily cooed, moving his lips much much closer to you. The feeling of his breath on your skin made your eyes flutter shut. He slipped his arm across your chest before dragging his big hand down your neck. It was frustratingly sexy but also stupidly innocent. You wanted to groan but you just focused your attention on that same little yellow bear still running about on the screen. Trent loved the feeling of your body sweetly snuggling into his juxtaposed with the incredibly suggestive hand placement that had both of your minds racing.

“Do you remember filming, movie star?” You shook your head disapproving of his teasing words that hit the shell of your ear with his plump juicy lips against your skin as he held you closer to him. You couldn’t stop your body from tensing in his embrace and the memories of not just that film he was referring to, the one that you’d made in the shower the other day with Trent, but all the other wonderful times you’ve had were coming flooding back. You tried to shuffle away but he held you to him moving his hand to press his palm flat against your stomach keeping you firm in place.

“Shhh, it’s rude to talk during our movie. Be quiet daddy” You cooed jokingly back to him needing to immediately pause the directions of your thoughts. You weren’t sure you’d be able to stand any more of him for the lengthy remainder of the movie left and the time until you put Teddy to bed. He reached around you and grabbed your chin to turn your chin back towards him. He kissed your lips gently. His pout feeling divine against your lips. You needed to not let him get in your head so you made the kiss a bit sillier than sexier sealing it with a ‘mwah’ noise. Teddy snapped around again to look at you very vexed, gesturing her hand towards the screen as if to say ‘what do you and daddy not understand about the fact that she was trying to watch Winnie The Pooh!’

‘Don’t forget this! Travel safe baby.’ You texted Trent and cheekily sent him the video you had discussed during the movie the other night, the movie you had filmed in the shower of your ensuite together. When he left for Liverpool’s preseason tour this morning, you wanted to cry but the keepsake of your spicy photos and video hidden on your camera roll would have to do in providing you some comfort and maybe a bit of fun while he was away. Marcel had come over the same morning a little later on just to hang with you, which was fairly common if Trent was home and probably even more so when he had to be away. It provided Trent a lot of comfort that someone could be home with his two girls. Marcel was sitting with Teddy at the kitchen island as you made them breakfast. The two of them babbling on and on about nonsense, taking selfies, and just being besties, frankly.

“Hey Marce, can you text T for me and ask where he put my mac charger? I forgot to ask before he left.” It just had randomly popped into your head that you had let Trent borrow it last night and per usual it was nowhere to be found. You asked Marcel not thinking about much other than preventing the pancakes on the skillet in front of you from burning, avoiding a critique from the two equally picky eaters at your table, despite their 20 year age gap. Marcel picked his head up and gave you a ‘sure’ answer. You just wanted to make sure you had a charger and he and Teddy had your phone. It was fine…

“Oh my god! Oh shit! Nope Ted, give that to me now!” Marcel yelped out as his eyes went wide and he winced in disgust, snatching the phone out of Teddy’s tiny hands. He turned the screen away from himself as well, grossed out by what was happening on it. Teddy was developing her finer motor skills as well as an infatuation with your phone. She loved playing with it and particularly loved taking selfies of herself or just hitting the camera button. You’d end up with thousands of blurred photos of her world but it was cute and you didn’t mind. She had meandered through from the camera somehow into uncharted territory when Marcel turned his attention to you for your question no longer following her movements on your phone. His eyes felt like they were burning when they snapped back seeing the video unfolding on the screen. Teddy wasn’t paying much attention to it she was more so staring at him now but the idea of her seeing a millisecond alone of a certain video freaked him out enough.

“Nah, Y/N. I’m gonna throw up. Like… Oh my god, Y/N.” He stood up frivolously panicked, rushing over to you, shoving your phone at you, holding it out in disgust. Teddy had clicked when she saw a notification from Trent pop up.. A small photo of him and his name appearing. His contact name in your phone since finding out you had gotten pregnant, originally as a joke, was ‘daddy’ leading to this disastrous moment you were unaware had unfolded. Teddy tapped seeing his name, problem being that she tapped on the last message you’d sent before he had taken off on his flight and hit play. Yes, it was that video.

“Oh my god! No!” You shrieked. Marcel motioned like he was going to be sick. You clicked off your phone and slammed it onto the marble countertop. “Literally oh my god!” You screamed.

“Honestly, I can’t look at you right now.” Marcel quipped running his hands over his head as he moved away from you back over to Teddy. He picked her up and she giggled at the sudden chaos that just unfolded in the kitchen. “You need new parents, they are disgusting, Teddy.” He spoke just to her moving into the archway into the next room connected to your kitchen. “Y/N!!! That is… That is foul.” He snapped at you.

“Stop saying my name like that, you're making me feel bad!” You yelled at him with a flush coming over your entire body. Your mind actually had gone almost completely blank. You were so in shock that your body's response was to start laughing. You couldn’t control it. “Oh my god!” You cackled, covering your face mortified.

“You should feel bad! That was criminal. Absolutely cannot believe you just left a video like that for your brother and baby to see.” Marcel quipped with wide eyes still as he shook his head while adjusting his hold of Teddy.

“I am so sorry. Oh my god. I’m sorry.” You profusely apologized in a panic. “Teddy, you didn’t see anything right? Didn’t see mummy on the phone?” You asked, petrified. She was actually at a solid enough age to identify what she saw. Maybe not from the adult perspective Marcel had just experienced but She’d be able to sus something out. You waited anxiously for her response.

“See what’s mama? Want to talk to dada now!!” She yelped blissfully unaware she could just have seen something that would’ve scarred her for life. She just wanted to talk to Trent now after seeing his name, opposite of Marcel. He never wanted to talk to you or Trent for time. You muttered a ‘oh thank god’ with a big deep breath. Marcel looked between you two and backed away by one step. You tried to walk towards him.

“Nope!” Marcel yelped out pushing his hand out towards you. “Stay away from us. Say mama’s gross.” He cooed to Teddy, sticking his tongue out towards you with a blow of air letting out a ‘ppbhhhttttt’ noise. You rolled your eyes at him. Teddy giggled with a jumbled version of what he was asking her to say then mirroring his action. Having Trent teach her nonsense was enough of a battle. She’d pick up random words he was loving using at the moment or he’d spit on the pitch and then she’d try to replicate, it was exhausting, incredibly cute but exhausting. You constantly had to manage the fine line of letting her have fun, learn, goof about, but still learn and know how to be polite and respectful, there was a time and a place for things. Adding two uncles, and two football teams, and all his friends around her it was just nonsense day in and day out. She was perfectly well behaved but she’d do this a lot. She’d be adventurous and silly with them eagerly giddy to do what they were doing.

“Baby… that’s not very nice to say to mummy.” You pouted, picking her up from his arms with a snappy glare.

“Sowwy mama. Not gwoss, tay?” She cooed with a pensive look not sure if she should keep her smile because Marcel was making her laugh or if she should fall more stoic because you had a frown on your face. You accepted her apology and kissed her with a big smile wildly relieved this hadn’t gone in another direction. You could manage Macel, he wouldn’t want to know an ounce more of detail than he gathered in that split second seeing that video. Teddy on the other hand more likely than not would’ve berated you with questions of what’s and why’s.

“No, actually I don’t think I can close my eyes ever again. Oh my days, man, that is fucking seared into my brain, Y/N.” Marcel groaned rubbing his eyes abandoning you and Teddy to plop himself on your living room couch. You placed Teddy back down on the floor and leaned over to whisper into her ear providing her with a set of instructions.

“Celly! Celly! Mama says you baby.” Teddy giggled, coming to jump onto the cushion next to him throwing herself over top of one of his outstretched legs with a goofy smile. “Like me?” She questioned him. He shook his head at her with a smile before he dropped it and scoffed. You loved to tease Marcel about his age. He wasn’t all that much younger but Dianne would always call him the baby and Teddy was intrigued that he was ‘like her.’ He snapped his neck to turn back and give you an unimpressed glare. If he wanted to use Teddy to make fun of your embarrassing faux pas, so could you. Two could play at that game. Trent was happily unaware of your mortifying morning scandal with Marcel. He was asleep on the flight to preseason. You had no doubt this would be used quite a bit though as ammunition to make fun of you both for time. He’d find out soon enough surely. Trent landed safely, falling into training sessions and heavy workouts, facetimes with Teddy and ones with you where you relayed the whole experience. He thought it was funny considering she didn’t see anything. You still felt wildly embarrassed.

“What is the one thing you're loving at the moment or the thing you’ve been obsessing over this summer?” Amidst preseason, a laidback journalist sat across from Trent asked him as he did press in between sessions. Trent smiled but paused to bite his plump bottom lip in thought.

“To be fair, l’ve been loving being married, obsessing over my wife.” Trent smiled tilting his head to the side and catching a glimpse of his phone screen illuminating with a notification. His background photo was of you and Teddy getting ready at The Plaza ahead of the wedding. He said he liked it the most because it was something he usually got to witness everyday. It was you two captured in your most Y/N and Teddy Alexander-Arnold selves. You were hugging her from behind pressing your cheek to hers as she awkwardly wrapped her arms up around your neck. He laughed a little before speaking again. “Erm… actually, I’ll get battered for that one. It’s my honest answer but you’ll have to cut that out.” He laughed. Naturally, the publication kept it in the eventually uploaded Youtube video. “I’ve really been loving Pilates. Get on it if you haven’t. Actually, my wife introduced me and we’ve been doing it a lot. So pilates.” He concluded that was his final answer. The reporter smiled seeing that Trent was seemingly unable to avoid talking about you even if he tried to deviate. He cheekily fixed his gaze directly into the camera lens sending a wink in that direction. It was sweet because yes, it was true Trent actually was enjoying it since his first time doing it in Italy but it was more just a sweet way for him to still say that the thing he’d always be loving at the moment would be you.

“I’m home, baby. I’m so sorry. Our arrival time got pushed back.” Trent whispered, pulling your limp body towards him across your mattress. He nestled you two under the covers back in your big bed after what felt like a very long two weeks apart.

“T…” you whined sleepily. You nuzzled your face against his neck lazily pushing your lips, not really even able to purse them, against his warm skin. You just left them placed there.

“Shhhh baby. Sleep.” He hushed you, wrapping you that much tighter in his embrace kissing your hair, breathing you in. He always did this thing that if you had fallen asleep before he had gotten home and his mind was still racing a mile a minute he’d just quietly whisper a murmur of compliments and mushy things to you interspersed with kisses. You weren’t even sure what he was saying. You knew it was nice, you’d catch bits of it sometimes, but most of the time you were out cold lulled by the comfort of him.

“I know missed you so much but she’s going to absolutely freak out. I don’t know if I’m ready for that squeal.” You were of course talking about your daughter, Teddy. You woke up cuddled with Trent, happy he was finally back home but you knew she was about to be even more thrilled than you, if that was possible. You had thought it’d be a fun surprise to not tell her the exact day daddy would be home and so to her delight she’d be woken up this morning by Trent. “I’m still so tired. Ted’s been putting me through it. I feel like I just chase after her. The energy levels she has and you know what… pace. She’s proper fast now, you know?” You cooed to Trent. Everything she did was amazing but also, she was still so young, she couldn’t have been all the fast but you knew Trent would get excited hearing an athletic update. You’d fill him in about taking Teddy to the nail salon and the big debate she had choosing what color to get later. This one was fun for now. Trent quite literally ran with your first tidbit of information about his time away. You could hear both their footsteps slapping against the floor as they sprinted down the hallway from Teddy’s room back to yours after he woke her up.

“Arghhh I think I just edged ya out, Ted.” Trent dramatically but fairly gracefully outstretching himself onto the carpet of your room reaching out for the ‘finish line’ i.e. the doorway. Of course, this was a race. The challenge set by Trent. Teddy had stumbled through it marginally before him. He looked up towards her with a confident grin knowing she did get through first.

“No dada! Teddy win. See! Dada! I win.” Teddy yelped out in a huff. She believed she won, she had. You could see your future ahead of you, the two of them constantly in conversation about who had won something. She was stood up still looking at him on the ground but then quickly plopped herself to lay on her belly on the carpet outstretched next to him.

“Oh I don’t know, I think I won. See.” Both you and Trent laughed. Her laying down to reach the finish line wasn’t all that effective of a tactic after she’d already ran through the finish line once which was cute. Trent stretched his arm out further reaching past the length of the tips of her fingers.

“Erm…” Teddy hummed thinking for a moment what to do. She wanted to win too but his arm clearly stretched past hers and you all could see that. “Tie dada, tay? We tie, tay?” She smiled at him before scootching herself up a little more on the carpet on her belly with a wiggle for their fingers to come be relatively aligned. Your heart warmed.

“Okay, that's fine with me. Dada and Ted tied. You and me can be on the same team so we both won, alright?” He explained to her rolling over onto his back and pulling her into his arms eliciting a giggly squeal you expected to hear for the next couple hours.

“You’re so nice, baby. Good idea to tie but I think you might’ve won it.” You poked a very sensitive bear and it wasn’t your Teddy. If it was anyone else in the world but Trent’s own daughter, his baby bear, not a shot he’d let that result fly. Settling for a tie? Not a chance. He’d immediately be inisting you do it again or tacking on an entirely new challenge to do. He would be fighting a battle that he created on his own. Yes, even you didn’t have the weight to get him to settle for a tie anymore.

“No, mama! Dada Ted tie, tay?” She corrected you. That was a big thing for her at the moment, finishing most sentences with her version of ‘okay.’ She heard you two say it in a more colloquial way a lot. She was using it to make sure you understood her.

“Okay, okay. Wanted to share the win with daddy, I got it. You’re such a daddy’s girl, aren’t you?” You cooed with a smile before rolling your eyes just at Trent.

“Nah!” He kissed her cheek dramatically. “She’s just my best friend, innit?” He spoke with Teddy nodding in agreement, you shot him a glare. Teddy Alexander-Arnold was without a shadow of a doubt, unequivocally a daddy’s girl. Full stop. Trent laughed knowing what your stare insinuated. “Yeah, yeah, she is. Whatever, I know that and I know that it’s the best thing ever as well. Look at this face, baby. How can you resist this?” Trent cooed to you taking Teddy’s face in his massive hands squishing it, the giggly squeal returning as anticipated.

“Aw Ted, you are daddy’s beautiful girl.” You smiled at them. Their faces nearly identical. “It’s ridiculous how obsessed she is with you but…” You spoke just to Trent again, sitting up more before falling forward to lay on your stomach to face them on the floor.

“I mean pot calling the black, cmon now.” Trent laughed. You’d been obsessed with Trent for years factually. You huffed a little being called out. “You’re my girl though as well and you don’t seem to mind that. Not a bad thing is it?” Trent continued leaning over on the floor to reach up to you. He cupped your cheek and pressed a soft kiss against your lips.

“No, it's not so bad.” You pouted after the kiss craving more but you’d settle for the one if it meant you got to watch more of them, beginning your slow morning before the home opener.

The first game of the season was in fact in a day or sos time so in typical fashion even in free time, you were going to find yourself near a football pitch. You were sitting on the turf grass out on the pitch in your back garden in the evening as the sun began to set. You were in a tiny black alo workout set and a hoodie of Trent’s you had nicked off him because it was getting chilly being a spectator. Trent was far from chilly, he was very hot and he looked very hot as well. In retrospect you think he might’ve been doing this just to show off for you but you’d never complain. He knew how to put on a good show, to perform for you. He pulled his shirt over his head, tugging the material with his strong arm and back muscles flexing. You salivated at the way he dragged it over himself. It was so sexy. You sat on the side of the pitch really doing nothing but admiring him as he took and retook dead balls and free kicks. After a while though unprovoked you just started to give him shit to tease. His performance didn’t warrant any but you did it anyways.

“Alexander-Arnold really miss hit that one. Certainly not the best from the Liverpool right back.” You called out the jab mimicking a commentator’s voice like you’d hear on TV. He ignored the first couple ones just grinning to himself with an occasional eye roll continuing on. “Wayyyy! Come on!” You yelled after another strike as if it was a jeer from the crowd before falling into a giggle you tried to stifle. You threw your hands like you were a disappointed fan at a stadium.

“Enough! You come take one, baby. Go on! C’mere. Take one.” He demanded with teasing fury. He looked at you with a smug smile gesturing to the spot of the turf in front of him. You leaned forward and stood up. You jogged over to him. He laughed, placing the ball in place for you.

“Damn…” you muttered with a pout. You didn’t take too long to take the kick. You were doing this for jokes but you did end up hitting the top crossbar, the ball ricocheting off.

“Y/N Alexander-Arnold really mishit that one…” He mocked your earlier comment. You rolled your eyes and waved your hand at him.

“Give me a minute please. You’ve been doing this for an hour. I just got here and I’m in socks right now.” You hushed him, making him set the next ball. You really struck it well. It was indisputably a good kick. Not of his quality of course, but it was Trent-esq. He didn’t say anything, he just went to grab the next ball. “Oh come on! Give it to me… you know it as well.” You yelped, annoyed he didn’t acknowledge that it was good. You lunged to grab at his waist begging for his approval.

“Absolute scumbag, you. C’mere.” He muttered out with a cheeky smile. You squealed as he tried to grab at you. You attempted to take off away from him, obviously he caught you, dragging you down onto the field with his sweaty body falling over top of yours. The cheeky mood changed in a second. Your heaving chest rising and falling under him. He looked at you like he wanted to eat you and you weren't scared, you were begging for him to with your eyes. He leaned closer to you, his weight was anchored on his hands resting on either side of your head. You raised your hands and cupped his face bringing it down to yours maintaining your gaze on his beautiful brown eyes. Your own features growing more and more malleable under his focused attention. You met him in the middle, lips clashing eagerly. You kissed him with a hum. He fell into you passionately. He placed his hands overtop of yours before moving them off his face and pinning them above your head down to the turf. You let Trent do whatever he wanted with you when it came to moments like this. You were always so pliable as soon as his hands were on you. Thank god, your closest neighbor was acres away because this wasn’t going to stop. The kiss heated up fast. He kept one hand holding yours, the other eagerly roaming your body. You squirmed under his tantalizing touch. He had slotted himself between your legs spread wide. His cock growing hard and strained in his shorts. The bulge of his cock pushing into the warmness of your core between your own thighs. How the fuck did you end up like this? Your back was arched as he nibbled down your neck. He reveled in your moans beginning to grow louder and the feeling of you pushing your hips up into him. His hand slid under the small top you had on dragging it up and let your tits bounce out, exposing your boobs out in the night. He loved how you usually looked, but this was just on another level of beautiful and sexy. You were desperate and illuminated by the sunsetting and the warmth of your houses lights reaching near the pitch. He dropped his mouth down to your collarbone and then to one of your nipples. His hand trailing down at the same slow pace until he reached the waistband of your shorts sliding inside them. His fingers moving gingerly to your aching core and then up and down the slit of your now soaked pussy before he landed to circle over your clit ever so deliciously.

“T… oh my god. We can’t do this.” You whined through a gasp feeling him play with your sensitive clit. He rolled his hips into you more and it became even more clear there was no stopping this train, nothing you could say to stop him or you.

“It’s so good though. C’mon, baby give into this.” He cooed against your neck, his hot breath hitting against your skin slick with the wetness left from his lips. Your hand reached for his wrist, fingers wrapping around his lower arm trying to stop him from getting you to cum from just his fingers on… the turf pitch in your back garden. It was fucking insane how he had you like this. You had no control. He pulled away from your neck and moved his hand to your relief momentarily to prop himself to carefully take his cock out. He was blissfully unaware of how good he looks right now.

“Fuck… it’s so good, baby. Please. I want you.” You begged him leaning up a little. He inched himself closer before lining himself up with your pussy. He slowly pushed his tip through the slick of your opening. He watched himself coating his tip in a soft sheen of you. He hummed in response and agreement with you. You reached down desperately to help guide him inside of your further and faster easing through your walls.

“Be a good girl. Fuck. Baby, you feel so good f’me.” He grunted, beginning to pick up his pace. You clung onto him. Your arms draped around his neck, your legs around his waist dragging your heel down his back grinding into him keep him as close to you as possible. You wanted your bodies intertwined and your souls weaved seamlessly together. He kissed you again, swallowing your moans as he drove into you deeper and deeper. He picked up your thigh draping it over his forearm and moving your knee up towards your chin. The new angle ripped the most blissful whine from you. He smiled in the middle of his kiss, loving your reaction. He trailed his kisses from his lips down your jaw, your neck, your collarbone, and then down to reach your tits. He wrapped his lips around your nipples letting himself lazily flick over them drawing you closer and closer to your high.

“T.. baby. This is…fuck! Oh my god. Fuck!… Ridiculous.” You yelped after a particularly harsh and deep thrust. Minute after minute passed and you could feel the grind of the grassy turf beneath your rub against your back’s exposed skin. His hands rested on the dips of your waist, guiding his cock into you again and again. The roll of your own hips meeting his.

“Doing so well, beautiful. That’s it, Gonna cum f’me?” Trent’s breath began to become shallower as your pussy started to clench tighter around him. He looked down at you with so much love in his eyes it almost covered the lust. You looked so pretty underneath him, his cock still buried deep inside of you. “I’m gonna make you cum, baby. Just take it f’me.” Trent instructed you getting lost in the feeling of drilling in and out of your sopping wet pussy as you whimpered beginning to tremble, completely captivating him.

“T, baby…” you whined between heaving breaths. You sounded so pretty for him. “Please, please don’t stop! I’m gonna cum, baby.” You begged him squeezing your eyes shut tightly as you started to feel an orgasmic high fast approaching. He was so deep inside that you could feel every ridge and vein move inside your velvety walls. His large hands drew down your body in between you two and began rubbing tight circles on your throbbing clit. Your mind turned to complete mush. His thrusts became increasingly sloppier and rougher as he chased his own release with you.

“Cum all over my cock, yeah? I’m gonna fill you up, baby. ” Trent babbled as you nodded. Everythiwent white, you felt a part cumming, your body aching, your eyes squeezing shut again. You were gasping as Trent fucked you through your high.

“T…baby” you moaned, feeling his release beginning to paint your insides. He gripped you so tightly, holding you completely flush against him. He stilled, pumping you full with his cum while pressing his lips to yours the way he usually did.

“That’s my good girl.” he said as he laid on top of you completely spent as you both breathed heavily, whispering I love yous back and forth.

“I genuinely believed I knew what turf felt like until right now.” Trent laughed into your warm skin. Hiding in your neck collapsed still breathing heavily.

“And I genuinely believe that turf should never be in the places it is in right now.” You cooed trying to keep a straight face but couldn’t. You fell into a giggle with him. He rolled off you and to the side pulling you back into his arms. Your eyes fluttered closed momentarily as you leaned further into Trent’s sweaty body while you tried to regain your composure post orgasm. He hummed kissing your hair repeatedly. “I want to cuddle all night.” You whispered to Trent softly running your thumb over his high cheekbone inspecting his perfectly smooth skin once you came back to.

“Out here?” He questioned you with a sly grin, knowing 100% that is not what you meant. His back now on the grass, he became well aware of what you must’ve been feeling for the past 45 minutes and he definitely didn’t want to stay the way he was.

“No, obviously not.” You quipped with an eye roll and light teasing tap to his cheek. “I just meant with you. Cuddle with you, T, baby.” You whispered to him. You nuzzled your nose against his cheek before pressing a kiss to it.

“No one is stopping you, beautiful.” He responded turning his head from his upwards gaze at the falling night to look at you. He fell into a smile and kissed your lips.

“Can you retire early? We can just do this every day.” You giggled giving him a begging pout wrapping your arms around his waist a little tighter.

“A few things, pretty girl. We’re not doing this again, let alone everyday.” He replied and your face dropped into a dramatic pout. He kissed you again to remove it. “Alright, I’d do it again…but it’s not an everyday thing. This is horrible to lay on. The other thing, sorry to disappoint but I actually like my job, beautiful. Don’t really want to stop just yet even though I would love to spend everyday with you.” He cooed sweetly pushing a fallen strand of your hair behind your ear.

“I’m was just joking, T. You know that. I’m so proud of you. I want you to play as long as you can. I get severe anxiety every match but it’s still amazing.” You cooed, kissing his shoulder looking back at him in admiration.

“I know, I know. I’m sorry for the nerves, baby. I love having you there though. Knowing your behind me is the best thing.” He smiled at you and kissed your forehead before looking to grab both your hands and lacing them with his. He sat up dragging you with him to stand up. “Alright. I’ve had enough practice out here with footie and you, we’re moving the session inside.” He cooed, wrapping his arm around your shoulders pulling you into him.

“Bedroom session?” You asked, inquiring for more of him, raising your brow with a smirk. He kissed your hair and hummed in agreement. You walked inside the house and took a deep breath seeing a few toys of Teddy’s on the carpet and Trent’s trainers in the stairs, a glass you had left on the coffee table.

“It’ll be fine you know.” Trent spoke to you moving behind you and massaging your shoulders with his big hand in an effort to relieve the stress that just caused your muscles to tense. He watched your eyes dart around the place compiling a list of all the things you’d want to fix before tomorrow.

“I know. I don’t want to like ‘pretend’ or make it seem like we live any other way. I love our home. I love it being lived in. I’m just nervous about what they’ll think.” You confessed sheepishly. Tomorrow was the big day Bentley Brown from GQ was scheduled to come over to your house for his interview with you. Trent would be at training so you were pretty apprehensive about doing it, being in an interview with a major publication was terrifying. You didn’t know how it really would work. Being home on your own for it made you slightly more nervous. You’d never done an interview like this with Trent and certainly never alone but having him there would’ve been a comfort. You were scared.

•

Thank you for reading! Please like, comment, or message what you think of the chapter 🤍

Next part - Chapter 27 xx

[justagalwhowrites]

Yearling - Ch. 27: Found

You try to figure out what you want. Joel and Ellie go on patrol.A continuation of Yearling ch. 1-26 found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: Angst. CLEARLY. It's me. Homophobia. Smut-adjacent. No use of Y/N. Minors DNI 18+ Only 

Length: 11.3k (THIS IS GETTING TO BE A PROBLEM I'M SO SORRY)

AO3 | Chapter One | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Late August, 2027 

“You’re making this hard on purpose,” Ellie’s nose scrunched as she held her guitar. 

You laughed. 

“Promise, Kiddo, I’m not.” 

“Sometimes I really don’t like you, you know,” she grumbled. You snorted. “I’m serious! Swear you make me do shit the hard way because you fucking enjoy watching me struggle…” 

“You learn better when you do it yourself and do it the hard way,” you shrugged, leaning back against a post of your porch. You stretched a leg out onto the step below and picked a little at your guitar. “You’ll never learn if I just give you all the answers.” 

“Yeah yeah,” she muttered, leaning to the side to add more of her disorganized scrawl to her notebook. “Swear you didn’t have to work this hard at shit…” 

“I started a lot younger than you,” you replied, picking up the pace on your guitar and adding slaps and pops, no real rhyme or reason to it, just what your fingers felt like doing. “Everything is easier when you start young. And hey, you’ve got a leg up on any asshole who tries to learn when they’re my age.” 

“Because you’re a dinosaur?” She looked up at you from her notebook, a small smirk on her face. 

“Nah,” you replied. “They’d been dead like three years when I was born, I’m not THAT old.” 

She laughed and went back to her notes as you kept playing, looking out down the path from your yard to the road beyond. 

It was sweltering hot and you’d never been more thankful for a breeze or the fact that it was your day off from the stables. The hair that had pulled loose from your braids stuck to your skin and you’d been sweating all day, waking up with your sheets balled up at the foot of your bed and your tank top damp even with the ceiling fan on. You hadn’t even put on jeans that day, throwing on one of the few dresses that had made their way into your closet in the almost two years you’d been in Jackson. The first you’d taken when Maria mentioned seeing one she thought would fit you, not long before things fell apart with Joel. You’d intended to wear it to the Tipsy Bison on a night there was dancing once it was warmer, opening the door to Joel when you were dressed like what your mother would call “a proper lady.” You’d pictured dancing with him, his hand sliding up the inside of your thigh when you sat down to have a drink until you couldn’t take it anymore and you practically dragged him home, riding him with the skirt bunched up around your waist the second you were in the door. 

That had never happened. That dress stayed tucked safely away at the back of your closet, not able to bring yourself to part with it and the image of that night with him. 

The other dress was perfect for days like today, long and loose and thin cotton that made the oppressive heat of late summer tolerable. Even if Ellie had looked at you like you had two heads when she saw you in the damn thing. 

You didn’t mind, though. You were just glad that you had gotten to the point that you liked spending time with Ellie again. That you’d started feeling much of anything at all. 

The first month you got back was hazy. You didn’t really leave your house at first, not able to contribute much at the stable and not seeing a reason to move otherwise. 

You weren’t entirely sure how many days passed before there was the first knock at your door. 

It wasn’t an Ellie knock. The sound didn’t carry her chaotic energy or almost audacious nature. Instead, it was hesitant but sturdy and firm without being forceful or insistent. You stayed flat on your back, staring up at the ceiling of the closet for a minute to see if the knock would come again. It didn’t. You stared at the ceiling a while longer but, eventually, you had to pee. You forced yourself to move and, on your way back from the bathroom, passed your front door. You hesitated for a moment before you went and opened it, to see if whoever knocked had left a note. 

On your porch was a box filled with crackers and jerky and fruit and carrots and celery. All things you could eat without needing to cook or, really, do anything at all. You knew it was from Joel, even though it hadn’t sounded like his knock, either. There was no one else who would have brought it because no one else knew why you were locked inside your home. But he was no where to be seen. He didn’t leave a note. 

A few days later, you forced yourself to go to the stable to check on the horses. The fillies and the colt weren’t making much progress without you - you’d have to probably start nearly from scratch with them once your arm healed - but you were able to feel somewhat useful, brushing horses down, checking on their hooves to see when they’d need to be shoed, just giving them some love and attention. That helped you feel a little more like yourself. 

Ellie started coming by again a few days after that. She showed up one afternoon with a CD and a sandwich from the mess hall, marching into your living room like nothing had happened, complaining about another kid in town and how Joel wasn’t going to let her patrol with anyone but him for a while. 

“I could get partnered with Dina but no,” she drew the last word out, sprawled on your couch, rolling her eyes as she did. “The old man is convinced I’m going to drop dead if he’s not looking out for me for five minutes…” 

“I’m sure he’ll ease up once he sees how capable you are,” you said, sitting on the loveseat and picking up the CD case she’d brought with her. The Clash this time. “Mick Jones and Joe Strummer, nice choice. Why do you want to go out with Dina, anyway? I thought not everything was about girls…” 

“Shut up.” 

“Nah.” 

You were’t sure if you were really doing better or if you’d just found a way to push the hurt down inside yourself again. You weren’t sure there was a way to recover from this, from the idea that you’d probably never see your child again. Clinging to the possibility felt so necessary but so foolish. You weren’t sure if it was reason or denial but it didn’t really matter. You weren’t sure you could live without that possibility dulling the jagged edges of your grief and pain. 

The boxes of food made regular appearances on your porch. You never saw Joel. 

When you were close to getting your cast off, Ellie came by your house but didn’t shove her way inside the way she usually did. Instead, she hovered on your porch. 

“OK don’t be mad,” she said, a serious look on her face. 

“Off to a great start,” you replied.

She glared at you for a second before pressing on. 

“Joel sent me with a message,” she said. “He wanted me to tell you that the movie tonight was something called Ever After and that he thought you would like it and that he wasn’t going to be there so you should go. And to not be mad. I think you shouldn’t be mad, too, by the way.” 

“Not mad,” you smiled a little. “I just… I don’t know…” 

“Come on, Bambi,” Ellie said, dropping some of her pretense now. “Dina’s going with Jesse and I’ve never seen it and I really don’t want to be stuck sitting by them while they suck face.” 

You sighed, looking back over your shoulder in the direction of Joel’s house. You found yourself looking that way a lot. 

“Alright,” you said after a moment, looking back at Ellie. “I’ll go. But only to save you from your crush…” 

“I’m going to ignore that last part and just be happy you’re going,” she said, a little smug. “Even though you’re annoying about it.” 

“So annoying,” you agreed, stepping into your boots, turning on the lamp and following her out the door. 

It was strangely easy to adjust to being around the people of Jackson again. Ellie gave you something to focus on, busy trying to distract her from the Dina and Jesse acting exactly like you remembered some of your friends in high school acted with their boyfriends. 

“What’s this movie about, anyway?” Ellie asked as the two of you settled in toward the back of the room. 

“It’s been a long time since I’ve seen it,” you said. “But I think it was like Cinderella.” 

Ellie looked at you and made a face. 

“Like the fairy tale.” 

“Yup,” you replied. She stared at you and you laughed a little. “What?” 

“I’m just trying to picture you liking a fucking fairy tale.” 

You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms as best you could with one in a cast. 

“What?” She teased. “Don’t tell me you like some stupid story where love solves everyone’s problems…” 

“What’s wrong with that?” Julie, the woman you’d seen a few times at the Tipsy Bison and when she went out on patrol, appeared alongside Ellie, a large bowl of popcorn in her hands. 

“It’s bullshit,” Ellie said. “There’s a reason they’re stories for little kids.” 

“Maybe you just haven’t loved that way yet,” she smiled a little before nodding to the chair on the other side of you. “Seat taken?” 

You hoped you didn’t just stare at her for too long. People didn’t just talk to you in Jackson, not without a reason, let alone try to sit by you. You weren’t entirely sure what to do with it.

“All yours,” you said, tugging your legs in close so she could pass you and sit down. She settled in beside you and smiled, holding out the bowl. 

“Thanks,” she said. “Popcorn?” 

“Sure,” you said after a moment, taking some with your good hand. “Thank you.” 

“Course,” she smiled a little bigger in a lopsided, almost cocky way. “What’s the point of popcorn if you don’t share it?” 

The movie was good. You’d only seen it once or twice before the outbreak but you’d liked it then, too. Cinderella was smart and capable, the prince was handsome and kind and you liked to imagine the way life was in that period of time. 

“OK so that wasn’t terrible,” Ellie said as you headed out with her and Julie. 

“Told you,” you teased a little. 

“No one told me that sometimes the girls in fairy tales got to be badasses,” she replied. “I might have liked the stories more then!” 

“The girls are always badasses,” Julie said. “They just try to hide it, scares the men otherwise.” 

Ellie snorted. 

“Sounds right.” 

You reached Joel’s. There was a light on in his living room and you felt the familiar tug in you to go inside and join him. Just let yourself in the front door and settle in like it was yours. 

“I’m gonna go tell the old man that his taste in movies isn’t totally awful,” Ellie said, heading up the front walk. “Still want help tomorrow at the stable?” 

“Stalls ain’t gonna muck themselves,” you replied and held up your still healing arm. “And this isn’t much help.” 

“Ugh,” she groaned good naturedly. “Night!” 

You watched until she made it to the front door - not that the precaution was really necessary here but it made you feel better - and you turned to Julie, your good hand stuffed in your pocket. 

“I’m that way and to the left,” you said. “So…” 

“Mind if I join you?” She asked. “Nice night, figure I’ll take the scenic route.” 

You looked at her for a moment. 

“Sure,” you shrugged. “Not much to see though.” 

“See, that’s where you’re wrong,” she smiled one of those lopsided smiles and fell into step beside you, walking a little slower than you and you slowed down to match her pace. You looked ahead. “So, how’ve you been doing? Don’t see you at the Bison much anymore.” 

“Fine,” you shrugged. “Just haven’t felt like going out.” You looked over at her and had the passing thought that she was pretty. Young, with long, dark hair and bright eyes and full lips.“How about you?” 

“Oh you know,” she waved you off. “Same old, same old. The berries are coming into season though, have you been to check out the orchards and stuff?” 

“I’ve ridden past them,” you said. “Haven’t exactly spent time there, though.” 

“You should!” She brightened at that, even more than she already was. The two of you came to a stop at your front walk. “Think you’d like it. You should come with me sometime, it’d be fun.” 

“Yeah, maybe,” you smiled a little tightly. “This is me, so…” 

“Nice place,” she smiled back, looking more genuine than yours felt. “Well, whenever you want to check it out, let me know. Hope to see you around.” 

“You too,” you said, standing there awkwardly for a moment before turning and heading up the walk and into your house. 

You went to the mess hall the next morning for breakfast. Dinner, too. And soon, your cast was off and you were going there for most meals, even if it was just to grab something to bring home or go to the stables. The food boxes stopped showing up on your porch. 

Instead, you’d come back from the stables and find new guitar strings waiting for you there or a CD that you didn’t have or a copy of Titanic on VHS, the one that took two tapes and you had to get up halfway through to change it. 

You’d told Joel he should move on. You weren’t sure if you really wanted him to - you doubted you’d be able to stomach seeing him with someone else - but you didn’t want him to be alone, either. You didn’t want to drag him down with you just because you couldn’t separate his past from your own. 

“OK so I think I have it,” Ellie said, pulling you out of your head and making your fingers still. “Can you look?” 

She shoved the notebook your way and you leaned over your guitar to look at it, fingering the chords but not playing them. 

“Yeah,” you said after a minute. “I think that’s probably closer to what you’re looking for, give it a go.” 

You pushed the notebook back towards her and she set her guitar on her lap, adjusting it for a second before playing it. You nodded along, watching as she scrunched her face, getting more and more frustrated before she groaned. 

“That’s not right either,” she leaned her head back on the post at her back. “Song writing shouldn’t be this hard. This is bullshit.” 

“The shit that’s worth doing is hard, kid,” you shrugged. “Why don’t you try thinking about it again for a minute. Do you want it to feel urgent or slow and confident? Both are strong but they’re going to have different vibes.” 

She sighed and closed her eyes. 

“I don’t know.” 

“Well,” you shrugged, settling back with your guitar. “Figure out how you’re feeling and what you want the song to say about it. It’ll come to you.” 

You went back to playing as Ellie picked her notebook back up, gnawing on the end of her pen. 

“I didn’t know you played!” 

You stopped and your head shot up from its place on the post to see Julie standing at the end of your walk, her hands in the pockets of her shorts, her thick hair piled on top of her head, her arms looking sculpted and strong in her tank top. 

“Sorry,” she laughed. “Didn’t mean to scare you. Can I come up?” 

“Um…” 

“Sure!” Ellie said before you had a chance to really think about it. Julie reached over the short fence and unlatched the gate before opening it and coming up to your porch, sitting on the bottom step so she was looking up at you and Ellie. 

“Didn’t know there was a guitar club in town,” she said, folding one leg into her chest and looping her arms around her shin. “Don’t stop on my account! What song was that?” 

“Oh, that wasn’t anything,” you said, running your fingers up and down the neck of the guitar. “Just… fidgeting, really.” 

“Yeah, Bambi is fucking awesome,” Ellie said. “Best guitar player in town, easy.” 

“Ellie,” you gave her a look but she ignored you. 

“Seriously, you name it and she can probably play it,” she said. “She knows so much about music it’s insane.” 

“Not really,” you cut her off. “I just like music so I learned about what I liked, that’s all…” 

“Oh bullshit,” Ellie rolled her eyes. “She’s a human juke box, try her.” 

“Do you mind?” Julie asked, looking at you with her brows raised. Her eyes were bright green and almost sharp. 

“As long as you’re prepared to be disappointed,” you shrugged. “I can try.” 

Ellie scoffed and Julie ignored her. 

“I remember this song from when I was a kid, just before the outbreak,” she said. “It actually took me a while to track down the name of it after and you might think it’s silly but… I’m With You? Know that one?” 

You smiled a little. 

“I know that one,” you said, settling the guitar on your lap. “Haven’t tried to play it before, though. Avril’s not really my wheelhouse, so… go easy on me.” 

You couldn’t remember exactly how the song started but you remembered the chorus and you remembered a verse from there. The music just trailed off at the end, not really remembering how the song ended either, and you awkwardly drummed your fingers on the body of the guitar when you stopped playing, Ellie and Julie both watching you. 

“Right, well,” you said. “Like I said, not really my wheelhouse and…” 

“That was fantastic!” Julie cut you off, her broad smile making the freckles on her cheeks rise. 

“Told you,” Ellie said. “She’s the best.” 

“Well I figured that much,” Julie rolled her eyes a little dramatically but smiled that cocky smile as she did before looking back to you again. “Thanks for letting me put you on the spot.” 

“Any time,” you said before you really had a chance to think about it. She smiled a little bigger. 

“Hey, so, I hadn’t meant to break up the jam session,” she said. “I was actually coming by to see if you wanted to come with me tomorrow afternoon, I was going to head out to the orchards for a bit. You’re welcome to join, get outside for a bit. It’s nice, promise.” 

“Um,” you said for what felt like the millionth time that day, trying to picture the stable schedule. “I think that would work, I have some patrols leaving that morning but should be able to step away for a bit in the afternoon…” 

“Perfect,” she said, getting up. “I need to get down to the Bison but I’ll meet you at the stables tomorrow?” 

“That’s where I’ll be,” you smiled in a way you hoped was genuine. “Looking forward to it.” 

“It’ll be fun,” she said. “I’ll see you then. Bye, Ellie!” 

“Bye Julie,” she dragged her name out and gave you a look. You seriously considered kicking her. Julie laughed and started down your walk, only making it halfway to the gate before turning around and walking backwards, looking back at you with her hands in her back pockets. 

“Nice dress, by the way,” she said. “It works for you. See you tomorrow!” 

You went back to messing with your guitar as you tried to not watch her walk up the lane. Ellie was far less delicate, craning her neck until Julie turned the corner. 

She spun to face you and swatted your leg. 

“Oh my GOD,” she half whispered, half yelled at you. 

“What?” You asked, fingers stilling on the strings. 

“That!” She said. “All that fucking flirting!” 

“Ellie…” 

“Oh come ON,” she cut you off. “You may as well have fucked right on your porch, Jesus Christ…” 

“OK I will say this again,” you said, setting your guitar down beside you. “Who is and isn’t between my legs? Not your business.” 

“Well that’s just not true,” she rolled her eyes. “You’re the one who fucked Joel and made it my business.” You sighed and went to reply but she held up a hand. “Don’t get me wrong, I’d rather you two work your shit out and get back together. But if you’re not going to figure it out then you shouldn’t just be miserable and lonely forever and Julie is hot as fuck.” 

“Ellie!” You hissed. 

“What!” She replied, her brows raised. “She is!” 

“Jesus…” 

“Just saying!” She said, her hands up in mock surrender. “Julie’s cool. And hot. I think you’d have fun. And you should at least try to have some fun sometimes instead of just being miserable all the time.”

“What if I like being miserable.” 

“Just don’t chicken out,” Ellie said, ignoring you and picking up her guitar before getting to her feet. “But I’m getting hungry. Think I’ll go see what the old man is doing for dinner. You’re welcome to come along if you’d rather not be miserable with us…” 

“Ellie.” 

“Right, right,” she rolled her eyes. “I mean it, fucking go tomorrow. You big chicken.” 

“Go home, you little brat,” you replied. She cheerfully flipped you off before heading back toward Joel’s. 

You sat on your porch for a while longer, absently playing and watching as the color of the sky slowly shifted from blue to pink to deep, inky black. The darkness seemed to swallow everything, like there wasn’t anything beyond what was right in front of you. But you knew that if you walked far enough, followed the light of the north star, you’d find things beyond what consumed here and now. 

It was late when you finally went inside, scrounging in your kitchen for the last of some of what Joel had brought you even though you weren’t particularly hungry. You turned on the stereo and just let whatever CD you’d put in last play, not really paying attention 

You found yourself thinking about Julie. About what Ellie said about Julie. 

It had been a long time since you’d had a woman flirt with you. You’d been with your fair share of women since the outbreak but flirting hadn’t really been part of it. Marisa was the first woman you’d slept with and, after Savvy came along, you stopped seeking out that kind of connection with men and kept it to strictly women. It just seemed safer. After Marisa, it had always been casual - you didn’t think you could bear another heartbreak like that - and it had always been fairly blunt. You could generally tell if they were interested in letting off some physical steam and, if they were, you had fun for a few days before they moved on. 

But things with Julie reminded you of one of your first crushes, a girl who did trick riding on the same circuit as you when you were a girl. You’d first noticed Courtney when you were both 13. She was so beautiful you couldn’t help but stare at her. At first, you’d almost resented her. She was good, damn good, and she was full of charismatic smiles and she dusted glitter across her collarbones that peeked out from the top of her costume. She was exactly who your mother wished you were and, as much as you loved bronc and bull and roping, part of you wanted to be who your mother wanted you to be. You wanted to be satisfied with what she wanted for you and you wanted to be happy being who Courtney was so effortlessly. Life would be simpler and happier if you were content with that and Courtney was proof that life existed. And you wanted it.

You settled for beating her, for a while. Narrowing your eyes at her when you passed her between rounds at competitions, looking her way when you saw your scores narrowly eclipse hers on the board. You loved it. The only thing you wanted more than beating her was her. 

Hell if you knew what to do with that. 

In hindsight, you weren’t sure she knew, either.

The first time she’d said more than two words to you was when you’d smirked at her as you held the first place trophy. You went to the locker room after the awards ceremony and you had the place almost to yourself, most of the other girls already cleaned out. The third place winner - a girl who’s name you didn’t remember - left and it was just a few seconds later that you heard the door slam into the wall. You looked up to see Courtney stalking over to you. You could see the glitter on her collarbones and her cheeks, her eyes hot and her lips full. 

“Want to tell me what the hell your problem is?” She demanded, getting so close to you that you could smell her body spray. It was almost sickly sweet and floral but on her it smelled good. “What did I ever do to you? Why do you hate me so much!” 

“I don’t hate you…” you said. 

“Could’ve fooled me!” She cut you off. 

“Why do you care?” You snapped. “We compete, we’re not friends, who cares if I hate you?” 

“I care!” She snapped back. 

“Why!” 

“Because I like you!” She yelled, breathless. You just blinked at her for a moment as she caught her breath, her eyes drifting to your lips. “I like you and sometimes…” 

She didn’t get a chance to finish. Instead, you kissed her. 

It was clumsy and deeply uncertain. You’d never kissed anyone before and you had no idea what you were doing, your hands locked tight at your sides as though touching her anywhere at all was against the rules but you were risking it, anyway. Her mouth was warm and soft and it seemed oddly wet even though that made sense when you thought about it. 

After a moment you pulled back from her slightly, your eyes wide, not really believing what you’d just done. 

“I’m sorry,” you said, your turn to be breathless now. “I… I don’t know…” 

“Shut up,” she kissed you that time, pressing you back against the lockers, stretching up to better reach your lips, her body hot on your own. You kissed her back, trying to focus and take in everything. How she tasted, how she smelled, how her costume hugged the slight curve of her waist. 

“Courtney!” Her mother’s shrill voice from the hall made her jump away from you and wipe her mouth on the back of her hand. “You about ready honey?” 

“One minute!” She called back before turning to you. “Do you have a some paper?” 

You just nodded and fumbled in your bag for a notebook. She turned to a random page that happened to have some history notes on it and wrote her name and number at the top. Her handwriting was soft and curved and feminine and you envied that, too. She drew a little heart next to it. 

“Call me,” she said, pressing the notebook into your chest. “OK?” 

“Yeah,” you said, staring at her. You couldn’t help but stare at her. “Yeah, I will.” 

“Good,” she smiled. “See you next time, superstar. Maybe I’ll finish on top then.” 

“Courtney!” 

“Coming!” She grabbed her bag out of a nearby locker and gave you an almost sly smile before she ran out to meet her mother. 

From then on, most of your time with her was flirting. In between rounds at competitions or on the phone when you were far apart, carefully crafting your words so you’d have plausible deniability with your parents but know what the other meant. You wrote each other letters when you were apart, counted the days until you got to see each other again. When you found an empty spot when you were in the same place, you ended up tangled up together, kissing and fumbling against each other, figuring out what seemed to stoke the fires deep inside yourselves in the small moments you could find for just the two of you. 

That continued for just over a year when Courtney came to a tournament with a somber expression on her face. You frowned but she gave you a subtle shake of her head as she passed you and you kept quiet. It took a few hours before you were able to get her alone and she told you the truth of it. That her mom had found your letters to her - thankfully not signed so she had no idea who had written them but still obviously from another girl - and had told her daughter that she, unequivocally, would end it. 

“But…” you protested, trying not to cry. 

“I’m sorry,” she said, her voice thick. “But… she threatened to send me to one of those camps if I don’t and… I can’t go to that, OK? I can’t, I don’t think I could make it and…” 

You held onto her as she cried, her tears making little rivers in the glitter on her skin. 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I really… I think I…” 

You kissed her before she said it. 

“Me too,” you said quietly when you pulled away. 

She sniffed and smiled a small smile.

“Maybe in another life, right?” 

“Right,” you smiled a little back. 

She dried her eyes as best she could and you watched from the stands as she gave the best performance you’d ever seen. You did the opposite. Your routine ended with a full Stroud Layout but your top foot slipped when you were getting into position and you fell off your horse, tumbling over and over yourself in the sand of the arena, the feel of it gritty in your mouth as your head spun when your body finally came to a stop. 

You didn’t make the podium and your mother didn’t push you to compete again for a while. You never saw Courtney again. 

You weren’t sure how to navigate things with Julie. You weren’t sure what you wanted to navigate with Julie. She was beautiful, yes. And she seemed kind and funny and smart. She seemed like someone you could have fun with and could care about. 

But she wasn’t Joel. You weren’t sure you could feel like you felt for him for anyone else. It seemed silly to even try. And if you couldn’t feel like that, what was the point? 

You tried to sleep but gave up eventually. After a while, you found the moose carving you’d started when you were out with Joel, looking for Savvy. It was getting closer to being done, though it was still a rough hewn thing. You weren’t sure anyone who didn’t know what it was supposed to be would realize what it was without help. But still, it felt good to make something. You let yourself be absorbed by carving it for a bit, until it felt like you’d shut your mind down enough to sleep. You set the moose down on the nightstand, arranging him so it was like he was watching you sleep, the red splotch from your blood still staining his chest.

You brought him with you to the stables the next day for something to work on when you needed the distraction. Just sitting there with your thoughts when you had downtime seemed like a bad idea. 

“You’re gonna tell me all about it, right?” Ellie asked as you gave Shimmer and Ares a final once over that morning. 

“I don’t need to tell you every time I hang out with someone,” you replied. 

“Whatever,” she said. “Just don’t chicken out. Actually go, you need a social life…” 

“What, getting sick of keeping me company all the time?” You teased, handing her the reins. 

“Yeah, you’re pretty fucking boring,” she smirked a little. You snorted. “I’m serious though. Promise you’ll go.” 

“I’m going,” you said, giving her a gentle shove toward the door. “Get out of here. Be safe on patrol, see you back tonight.” 

“Not if you’re at Julie’s you won’t,” she waggled her eyebrows at you and you rolled your eyes as you watched her lead her and Joel’s horses out of the stables. 

Time dragged until that afternoon and you found yourself feeling oddly nervous, waiting for Julie to come by. You weren’t sure what time she was supposed to get there and, you realized, you didn’t know what to actually expect with any of this. 

Yeah, it had felt like flirting. And Ellie seemed sure that it was. But Ellie was a kid and your recent experience in that department was so limited you really knew fuck all about it. What if you’d read the situation completely wrong? What if Julie was just a nice woman who wanted to be friends? 

“Hey you,” Julie’s voice surprised you enough that it made you jump, water sloshing over the side of the bucket you were carrying to top off one of the horses. “Shit, I’m sorry! Didn’t mean to scare you…” 

“You’re fine,” you said quickly, refilling a waterer and setting the bucket down. 

“Now still good?” She asked. “Because I’m not in a rush, today is my day off…” 

“Now’s good,” you said quickly, trying not to think too hard about what she was wearing. Her long, lush hair was softly braided and hung over her shoulder, loose strands framing her face. Her shorts were short and her legs were long and sculpted and she wore a few long necklaces that settled into the curve between her breasts. She smiled. 

“Great!” She held up a bag you hadn’t noticed before. “Brought snacks. Not that we’ll need much, it’s peak berry season out there. We could eat ourselves sick and not make a dent.” 

“Don’t tempt me,” you smiled a little. 

“Oh, I intend to,” she smiled back. 

Julie led the way out of town, smiling and chatting with the guards at the gate for a moment before heading toward the orchards just east of town. 

“So why are you heading out here on your day off?” You asked, looking over at her. 

“Well as I think you know, one of my main contributions to the good people of Jackson is tending bar at the Bison,” she smiled. “But that’s because I just really like drinks. I found this old cocktail book when I was a teenager and I just kind of became obsessed, I guess? There was that and these books and magazines that showed what it was like before and I wanted to do that. Have the experience of going to a bar when life was different, you know? And yeah, we make some pretty decent booze here in town - or I think we do, anyway, didn’t really get to try any before - but that’s not all it takes to make a good cocktail. I can’t make a Coke or anything but I can make the syrups and infusions and things. I like to experiment in my spare time so I come out here, pick the supplies I need, and give things a try at home before I bring my ideas into the Bison.” 

“Do I get to know what you’re working on?” You asked, brows raised. 

“If I told you, I’d have to kill you,” she smirked. “But I will need a guinea pig before too long if you’re game…” 

“Far be it from me to turn down a free drink,” you replied and she smiled bigger. 

The orchards were, indeed, beautiful. You followed her to a particularly dense spot and she pulled a blanket out of the bag, spreading it on the ground in the shade of an apple tree. 

“I won’t lie,” she said, sitting back on her hands and closing her eyes, taking a deep breath. “This is probably my favorite spot.” 

“I can see why,” you nodded, drawing your knees into your chest and looking around. “It’s gorgeous here.” 

“It’s quiet here,” she laughed a little. “Don’t get me wrong, I love Jackson. Way better than the QZ we were in when I was a kid. It’s a good place with good people. I love the people, truly, I do. But everyone knows everyone and knows everything about everyone and it’s so hard to have anything for yourself, you know?” 

“Yeah,” you nodded. “It’s a great place but… it’s definitely a lot.” 

You talked a little about your pasts. You told her - vaguely, lightly - about your time before Mitchum. She told you about her time in the Denver QZ and you almost fainted when she said she was only 31 years old. 

“How old were you when the world ended?” You gaped at her. “Do you even remember?” 

“I was seven,” she laughed. “I remember a bit. How old were you?” 

“Older than that,” you replied. “Jesus…” 

“Not that old, clearly,” she said, picking a blackberry off a bush and holding it out to you. “This is a good one, you should have it.” 

“Old enough,” you replied. “And if it’s good, you should have it.” 

“I have them all the time,” she said, stepping close to you. You were suddenly acutely aware of the fact that you were wearing the same clothes you’d been wearing when working with the horses all day and you hoped you didn’t smell. She pressed the berry to your lips. “Try it.” 

You obeyed, taking the fruit into your mouth and biting into it, the juice bursting on your tongue. 

“See?” She smiled. “Told you.” 

The two of you ended up back on the blanket and you stretched out on it, looking up at the clouds drifting lazily past overhead, arms bare - too hot to wear anything more than a tank top - but not feeling overly exposed. Julie lay next to you, her arm brushing your own. 

“Is it weird that I sometimes don’t feel like I missed out?” She asked. You felt her adjust next to you and you glanced her way to see her lying on her side, facing you. “I mean I know there was a lot before that we don’t have now but… I dunno, I guess I still wanted to be a ballerina when the world ended. It doesn’t feel like I really gave up all that much, you know?” 

“Think that has as much to do with Jackson as anything else,” you replied, adjusting so that you were facing her. “But I get that, in a way. If I’d found Jackson when I was younger, I think I’d feel the same. Shit, what I’m doing now is exactly what I grew up wanting to do. If it wasn’t for all the time in between, the end of the world would have just turned into me getting just what I wanted. Besides all the death anyway.” 

“Think you’re right about the Jackson thing,” she smiled a little. “It’s a special place with good people. Like a few better than the others, though.” 

“Yeah?” 

She reached out and brushed some of the hair that had fallen from your braid back from your face and trailed her fingers down your cheek and your chin. 

“Yup.” 

She leaned in then, moving slow and holding your gaze, giving you all the time in the world to stop her if you wanted. 

You didn’t. 

Her kiss was soft and gentle, her lips smooth on yours. She tasted and smelled sweet and her hand went to your hip, tugging you against her. 

Julie’s body was softer than you expected as she pressed against you and, in so many ways, she felt safe and comfortable there. But she felt foreign, too. You’d become accustomed to a different form on yours, one that was larger and broader and firmer. 

You tried not to think about him as her kiss deepened, as your hand went to her waist and trailed over her side but stopped short of cupping her breast. 

She nudged you onto your back and she settled on top of you, her chest pressed tight to yours, her hips starting to rock gently against you. You ran your hands over her back to the top of her ass but didn’t go lower, not able to shake the subtle wrongness of kissing someone and feeling someone who wasn’t Joel. 

After a minute, she pulled away from you. 

“I get the feeling you’re not as into this as I am,” she said, panting a little. You opened your mouth to argue but she silenced you with a look. “If I misread things, I’m really sorry. But you should know that you don’t have to fuck me just because I’m trying to fuck you.” 

“You didn’t misread anything,” you said quickly. 

“Good,” she smiled a little. “But… It doesn’t seem like you’re feeling this.” 

You winced. 

“I don’t know what I’m feeling,” you said. “But… I don’t think I’m feeling what you are.” 

“Well shit,” she laughed a little and rolled off you, lying flat on her back beside you. “I really am sorry if I came on too strong or did something you didn’t want…” 

You laughed a little. 

“Definitely not that,” you said. “Just have… other things on my mind. And you deserve someone’s full attention.”

She turned her head to look at you and you turned yours, too. 

“It’s Joel, isn’t it?” She asked. You winced a little. “Sorry, I’m not trying to dig into anything that’s not my business, it just… seemed like you guys split up a while ago so I thought it would be OK. I’m sorry.” 

“No, it probably should be,” you said. “It’s got nothing to do with you, trust me.” 

“Well,” she said. “At the risk of this being the most awkward hang out ever… want to help me get some raspberries?” 

“Sure,” you laughed a little. “I’d like that.” 

She smiled. 

“Good. Me too.” 

It was awkward for a bit, but by the time the two of you started back to Jackson, it was lighter. Easier. Like you’d never kissed at all. 

Julie walked with you back to the stables, not too long before you were expecting patrols that weren’t out overnight to return. 

“Even with everything today, I hope we can be friends,” she said. “I do actually like you. Not just because I’d like to fuck you.” 

You laughed a little. 

“Yeah, I’d like that, too,” you said. “I’m sorry I’m not… in the same place on the fucking front…” 

“I’d rather pretend we never found that out,” she laughed a little. “Maintain some of the mystery. But, you know. If anything changes, it’s a small town. You know where to find me.” 

“That I do,” you said. 

She turned to leave but seemed to think better of it and turned back. 

“If he’s it for you?” She said. “I think you should figure out a way to make it work. No point in wanting something and acting like you can’t have it when it’s right there, you know? And yeah, it’s not really my business and yeah, I don’t know you all that well but… something tells me you’re not going to be feeling any different anytime soon. And I don’t think he is either. Just… my two cents.” 

She smiled and leaned in, pressing a kiss to your cheek. 

“Thanks, Julie,” you said quietly. She gave your arm a squeeze. 

“See you around, Bambi.” 

You watched the door she left through for a few minutes after she was gone before you went back to work. 

The patrols all made it back without incident, Ellie returning her and Joel’s horses. She asked how things went but you just waved her off and she deflated a bit. 

“I keep trying to get some excitement around here,” she said. “You are no fucking help, you know that?” 

“I am so sorry my romantic life isn’t more entertaining,” you said wryly. “I’ll work on that. Entirely for your benefit, of course.” 

“Well you’re clearly not going to do it for your own.” 

You just rolled your eyes as she headed back home. You stayed late at the stables. Not for any real reason, you just didn’t want to be at home alone and going to the mess hall didn’t sound like what you wanted, either. You worked on the moose carving, pleasantly surprised at the progress you’d made on him. 

You ended up working on him until, almost suddenly, you realized he was done. Fully formed - or as close to it as you could get him - with four legs and jagged shapes for the antlers. But he looked like a moose, broad and steady and strong. You turned him over in your hand a few times, running your finger over the arch of his back and the curve of his neck. 

“What am I going to do with you?” You said quietly, holding it up in front of you, looking where his eyes would be if he had them. The bloodstain was still crimson on his chest. 

After a few minutes, you got up off the floor of the stable and did your final check for the evening before locking up behind you and heading home. 

You took the long way. 

It was dark but not so late that the Tipsy Bison had closed for the night, a warm glow coming from the windows. With the sun down, you were a little cold with bare arms but you didn’t mind. You walked slowly, watching the stars as you went. 

You stopped at the end of Joel’s walk. The lights were out. You thought he probably went to bed early - he got tired after a patrol - but he could be at the Bison, too. Either way… 

You all but crept up his walk, holding the moose tightly in your fingers. You stopped at the base of his stairs and held the rough-hewn animal in front of your face again. 

“Keep an eye on him for me?” You said quietly to the wood. It didn’t say anything back. You stepped as lightly as you could up the stairs but the same step as always squeaked below you. You set the moose on Joel’s doormat before turning to go, making the step squeak again. You made it almost all the way back up the walk when the lights inside turned on and you picked up the pace. 

It didn’t matter. You heard the front door open just as you turned onto the street and your eyes darted over toward him before you could help it. 

“Bambi?” He called, not too loud. He was in his blue cotton plaid sleep pants and a black t-shirt that hugged his body just right, tight across his shoulders and upper arms, highlighting the soft curve of his stomach. You stopped for a moment and just gave him a tight smile before continuing on home. 

When you went to bed, you found yourself looking at the spot on your nightstand where the moose had been before, part of you wishing he was still beside you.

***

“Hey. Hey Joel.” 

Joel smiled a little to himself. He recognized Ellie’s tone. 

“What’s up, kiddo?” 

“Wanna hear a joke about pizza?” 

He sighed, trying to sound annoyed. He wasn’t sure if it worked. 

“Get the feeling you’re gonna tell me either way.” 

“Eh, never mind,” Ellie said, sounding a little put out. Joel looked back at her, frowning slightly. And then she smirked. “It’s too cheesy.” 

Joel groaned. 

“That one’s bad, baby girl.” 

“No it’s not!” She rode up alongside him even though the trail wasn’t really wide enough for that. “That was a good one!” 

“Nope,” he shook his head. “It was terrible, three out of 10.” 

“Bullshit!” 

“What would you give it?” He asked, brows raised. “Because I’m questioning your judgement here…” 

“At least a six.” 

“No.” 

“Yes!” She laughed. “You’ve just got shitty taste, old man.” 

“Uh huh,” he laughed. “And what’s that say about you then, hm?” 

“Broken clock is right twice a day,” she replied. “You were bound to accidentally do OK every now and then. Will Livingston, however, is right every time.” 

“You got that entire book memorized?” He teased lightly. “If not, you gotta be close…” 

“I’m getting there,” she said. “Saving the best for last.” 

Joel just shook his head a little. 

He loved patrolling with Ellie. Even more than he thought he would. It was so much like when he’d first come to know her and care for her. It was a time, he realized now, that made him understand that he could still love. That he had it within himself to care for another person, that he could cope with the fear of loss that came with attachment because Ellie was worth it. He liked spending the time just the two of them and getting to know her better as the young woman she was becoming instead of the little girl he’d come to know years earlier. She’d grown so much, come into her own in a way that was only possible in a place like Jackson. She had friends and hobbies and had become part of the community there. Every day with her was reassurance that he’d done the right thing. That every life he’d taken that day in the hospital was a worthy price to pay. 

Joel had left Jackson with Ellie plenty before patrolling with her, back when she was still speaking to him. Before she found out the truth of everything. He’d loved it then, too. But this was different. She was still his baby girl but they were out here as partners, working together to protect the community they both loved. It was a glimpse of the future they had, one where their lives moved along side by side and he got to watch her find her place and fall in love and have a family of her own and just be happy as herself. 

They were only a day out from Jackson now, heading in from a three day long patrol. It was Ellie’s first overnight patrol and she’d been so excited for it, even as she tried to pretend like she wasn’t. The days before they left town, Ellie was over at his house every night, going over the list of what she should bring and looking over the map. She’d lit up when he said they could bring a guitar, something else that made Joel smile. 

It had been more than a month since she’d gotten him back into playing, showing up at his house with a guitar and saying she wanted his opinion on something. She played American Girl, one of his favorites, and set the guitar down when she was done. 

“That was amazing, baby girl,” he’d said, more than a little in awe of her. “Where did you learn that?” 

“Bambi,” she replied. “But do you think it’d sound better with two? I feel like it would. But you’re the musician so…” 

It was an obvious ploy but it made him smile a little. The idea that Ellie would do that much to make him play again. That you’d help her. 

“It might,” he said, getting up to get his instrument. “Let’s give it a try.” 

Joel tried to not think of you too much. He usually failed. But he was getting better at not drowning in the memories of you, of not letting the loss of you consume him. 

It helped that he’d found a way to care for you while respecting the distance you wanted. He couldn’t bring himself to just abandon you, not when he had a sense of how much you were hurting. So he brought you food. Selfishly, it served two purposes. It meant you were, hopefully, eating something. But it also meant he knew that you were still alive. That he could leave a box on your porch, walk by a few hours later, and see that it was gone. He could check on you without forcing you to talk to him and that eased the steady drumbeat of worry inside him. 

When he heard you were back at the stables, he shifted from things you needed to things you would want. He brought you the things he found that made him think of you, things he’d have given you when he came home to you in another life. 

It also helped that he knew you thought of him, too. At least occasionally, enough that you’d left the carving you’d made on his porch a few weeks before. He thought he was hearing things when the first squeak woke him up from his place on the couch, but then the step squeaked a second time and he was sure he heard it. He’d thought it might be Ellie, needing something but  not necessarily wanting to say it. He hadn’t expected to see you heading down the street, the first glimpse of you he’d had in so long. Your arm was out of the cast and you looked good. A bit thinner than you’d been the last time he’d seen you but still good. Still beautiful, still soft with sharp edges. Still what he wanted to sink into and wrap himself up in every chance he got. He picked the moose up and brought it inside, tracing the outline of its frame for a moment. You’d finished it. It was rough, you were clearly a beginner, but you’d finished it and given it to him. His thumb brushed the wound on its heart, where you’d bled. Before he really thought better of it, he brought the figure to his lips and kissed it gently before setting it on the side table and turning out the lights. 

The two of you were set to leave Jackson again in just a week, another gap in the patrol schedule that you could leverage to search for Savvy now that you were healed. He hoped this search led somewhere. He couldn’t imagine what it was like, living like that, not knowing what happened to your child. The closest he’d come was the torturous time that Ellie was with the monsters who’d taken her in Silver Lake. He was so frantic, so terrified of what he’d find but even more terrified of never finding it to begin with. He needed to save her, protect her. But if he couldn’t do that, he needed to know what happened to her. He needed to know who to destroy before he destroyed himself for letting it happen. Living in that for years would be unbearable. 

“Hey Joel?” 

He could hear the frown in her voice. 

“Yeah Baby Girl?” He looked over his shoulder, Ellie and Shimmer falling behind him again now that the trail had narrowed further. She stopped and so did he.

“That’s something we should be watching for, right?” She nodded toward something off the trail, a small frown on her face. Joel followed where she was looking and he froze in his saddle. 

It took an eagle eye to spot it, just brush amongst brush, but it shocked him when he saw it. The gentle arch of a sapling, stretching down toward the ground, held there with rope. 

“Yeah,” he said. “It is. Stay with the horses.” 

“But…” 

“Just one second,” he said, dismounting and going for the trap, trying desperately not to get his hopes up but his heart was racing. It was a common set up for a trap. It could be anyone’s.

This trap was far fresher than the one he’d found with you, the dirt where the pin and been put in the ground still disturbed. The trap itself was still baited and the pins were smooth, almost artistically carved. It hadn’t been here long. He looked around quickly, looking for some indication of where the person who set this trap might have gone. It took some doing - whoever it was covered their tracks well - but he found it, the edge of a boot print. 

He went back to his horse and mounted up. 

“Ellie,” he said, voice serious. “Need you to listen to me, OK?” 

“OK,” she frowned. “Joel, you’re acting weird…” 

“We’re gonna track someone,” he said. “But when we find them, need you to not shoot them until we talk to them, OK? And… and if its a teenaged girl, need you to not shoot them even if she pulls a gun on me, OK?” 

“A teenaged… Joel, what the fuck are you talking about?” 

“Just trust me,” he said. “Please.” 

He started with the boot print and found little hints of someone moving through the brush from there. Disturbed leaves, a splotch of dirt that looked misplaced, a small branch that had snagged on another when something about human height passed below it. 

“Joel,” Ellie said after they’d been tracking for about 20 minutes. 

“Still looking,” he said gently. “It’s OK…” 

He heard something rustle down low up ahead and he adjusted Ares’ path to check on it. He didn’t need to go far, the source of the sound only about 100 feet away and next to a large rock. Standing there, beside to a large horse and a large dog, was a girl. She was a little taller than Ellie, with gangly arms and legs, a rifle held high in her hands. 

“Stop right there!” She said, her voice sharp with a familiar southern twang. The dog moved in front of her, getting down low and bearing its teeth. “Don’t wanna shoot you but I will. You can move right along, this spot’s taken.” 

Joel lifted his hands and caught a glimpse of Ellie raising a gun next to him. 

“Ellie!” He said sharply. She looked at him, eyes wide. “Gun down. Now.” 

“But…” 

“Now.” 

She huffed but lowered the gun slowly, her eyes back on the girl in front of her. 

“Won’t shoot you in the back,” the girl said. “Just turn around and go.” 

Joel fought to focus. The girl in front of him… she looked like Sarah, so so much like Sarah. The same shock of curly hair, same brown skin, same bright eyes. If he didn’t know better, he’d think they were sisters. He fought to stay here, in the forest with Ellie, not getting swallowed by his own memories. He’d found her. He was all but certain of that now, he’d found her and he was going to bring her back to you. 

“You out here on your own?” He asked gently, his hands said up. 

“Don’t see how that’s any business of yours,” she said sharply. “All that matters to you is that I will kill you, don’t try me.” 

“I understand,” he said. “Not going to hurt you…” 

“Bullshit.” 

“We’re not,” Ellie snapped. 

“Ellie.” 

“What!” She said. “Joel, I swear, if she shoots you…” 

“Remember what I said,” he replied. 

“But…” 

“I mean it,” he cut her off. “Don’t, OK?” 

He turned back to the girl. 

“Not going to hurt you,” he said again. “Just… just hear me out for just a second, OK? We’re from a settlement, about a day’s ride from here…” 

“Good for you,” she said. “Better head that way then.” 

“It’s a good place,” he said, ignoring her. “With good people. Including… including your mama, I think.” 

Her eyes went a little wide and she lowered the gun ever so slightly. He caught a glimpse of Ellie’s head whipping around to look at him but he kept his eyes on the girl. 

“Your name’s Savannah, right?” He pressed on. “Your mom, she calls you Savvy, right?” 

She raised the gun again. 

“How’d you know that,” snapped. “You one of the assholes that took her? That it? What, you kill her? Get her to tell you about me first? That what happened?” 

“No honey,” Joel said, his throat tight. He’d found her, he’d found your daughter. “No, she… she escaped them, few years back. She got hurt real bad doin’ it, we brought her in, got her fixed up and she stayed. She’s been looking for you but she’s still there…” 

“Why should I trust you?” She snapped. “Why should I believe a damn thing you say?” 

“Because I know her,” he said. “Been helping her look for you. She’s… I know her. She trains horses, guessin’ she trained the one you’ve got? She trained the one I’m on, too. She runs our stable for us, she…” 

“Bambi?” Ellie gaped at him. “Bambi’s her mom? Bambi has…” 

“Ellie,” Joel said again, cutting her off and looking back at Savvy. 

“She’s there,” he said. “She misses you, she misses you so much. Told me how you liked to read to the horses when you were little. How the dogs liked you better than her. How you’re real good at carving… Recognized your trap, found another one of yours a few months back. She told me how your pins are always smooth and even… Let us take you back with us. Won’t take your guns, just… just come back with us. Please. She misses you so much, she’s been so worried…” 

“We’re not people to be afraid of,” Ellie said and Joel glanced her way. She was looking at Savvy now, her face serious. “Well, as long as you’re not an asshole. I know Joel seems scary but he’s not. Promise. He’s safe.” 

She lowered the gun slowly, looking between the two of them before looking down at the dog. 

“Gattling,” she said. “Heel.” 

The dog dropped its defensive stance and went alongside her, looking up and waiting for a command. She looked back at Joel and Ellie. 

“You really know my mom?” She asked quietly. “She’s… she’s really alive?” 

“She is,” Joel nodded, lowering his hands to the saddle horn. There was a knot in his throat. “And we can take you to her. Please.” 

She hesitated for a moment. 

“She teaches me stuff about music,” Ellie said quickly. “How to play some stuff on guitar, too, but more about music in general. She’s cool. Really. I’m… I’m sure she wants to see you again. And Jackson’s nice. And so are we. Just come along, OK?” 

She took a deep breath, looking down at the dog for a moment, adjusting her grip on the rifle. 

“OK.” 

***

“She’s in rare fucking form this week,” Olivia said, watching as you steadied Persephone, one of the fillies you were working with. 

“She’s just got an independent streak,” you said, the horse’s feet stomping impatiently in the dirt. “That’s OK. I get that. So do the best of us, right?” 

She huffed and jerked her large head. You smiled a little. 

“You’re sure she’s not gonna throw you?” Olivia asked, sounding a little worried. 

“No,” you shrugged. “But I’ve gotten thrown off horses before, nothin’ new. Only way to break her is to break her, no point in stalling. You in a good spot?” 

“Think so,” she said, stepping a little further back from the horse as you got ready to mount her. 

“Then let’s go,” you said, all but jumping onto Persephone’s back. You barely got your foot in the stirrups before she started really bucking, Olivia moving even further away. You clutched the reins in one hand and let your hips go loose, digging your heels down toward the earth to stay seated. You let your body move with her as she hurled herself through the air, desperate to dislodge you. But you weren’t going anywhere. She gave you a good shake that made you grab the back of the saddle but otherwise, she didn’t get anywhere close to throwing you. After a while, she started to calm, her movements still sharp and harsh but closer to the earth, her hooves staying on the ground more often than not. Eventually, she mostly stilled, just tossing her head and huffing indignantly. 

“See?” You said soothingly, reaching forward to pat her neck. “That’s my good girl, you did so well…” 

“Bambi,” Olivia said, catching your eye. She nodded toward the gate to the paddock and you frowned a little before you followed her gaze. 

Standing there was Joel and Ellie, their reins in their hands. But between them was a girl. She was young, a teenager, with springy curls and brown skin and wide, soft eyes. 

You knew those eyes. You knew those eyes and that hair and that skin. For a moment, the world shrank to a small point centered on her and you wondered if, maybe, you’d finally lost your mind. If something had finally broken so thoroughly that you were seeing things. 

But you weren’t. She was here. Your daughter was alive and she was here, in Jackson. 

“Savvy,” you breathed and Persephone bucked below you. You weren’t paying attention to the horse and you flew off her back and into the dirt, landing with a brain rattling thud. You didn’t care. 

You scrambled to your feet, throwing a glance back at Olivia to make sure she had Persephone so Savvy wouldn’t get hurt, and ran for her. 

“Mom,” she said, her voice thick as you reached her and pulled her into yourself. You clutched her to your chest until you thought you could feel her heartbeat alongside yours, clinging to her too close to even kiss her or look at her but you needed to feel the life in her first, soak up the vitality of her before someone took it away. 

“You’re alive,” you managed, voice thick. You buried your nose and mouth in her hair, breathing her in. “You’re alive, you’re here, you’re OK, you’re…” 

“I can’t believe you’re here,” she said wetly and you pulled back from her just enough to look at her. Tears slipped down her cheeks and she sniffed as you took her face in your hands. “I didn’t think I’d ever see you again, I thought you were gone, I…” 

“I’m so sorry baby,” you kissed her forehead before pulling her against you again and clinging to her. “I’m so sorry I let you go, I’m so sorry I didn’t get to you, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry…” 

“It’s OK Mom,” she said, her hands holding your elbows. “I’m OK, it’s OK, I promise…” 

You just held on to her, trying to memorize everything about her that you could. That she was taller now, that her shape had changed, that it seemed like she hadn’t had a chance to really grow into her limbs yet. 

You looked up at Joel who was still there, his eyes wet, watching you hold your daughter. 

“You found her,” you said softly. 

He just nodded. 

“Found her,” he said. “Couldn’t have without you, though. With everything you told me about her, was able to find her.”

You just nodded, running your hand down the back of her head as you held her. 

“Thank you, Joel,” you whispered, holding her so tight that you were worried you might hurt her but too afraid that she’d slip away to stop. “Thank you.”  

Next Chapter

A/N: AHHHH SAVVY'S HERE!!!!

And Joel found her. I'm so happy that Bambi has her baby back, for real. Things are getting there. I promise.

Thanks so much for reading and sticking with this story! Don't forget that you can get updates on my updates blog here.

Love you!!

Taglist: @ashleymsnodgrass@planet-marz1@kalea-bane @juneswonderlust@ilovepedro @h-annahayy @starstruckmusiciansartghost@beccerjune@mumma-moonchild@netonetoneto@mellymbee@purplelye@n7cje@flugazi@evyiione@randomhoex@aliengirl99@orcasoul@reds-ramblings@pedropascalsbbg @fupoola @tinypotatothing @knopes-waffles @lilmizmoz @ayamenimthiriel@jenispunk@panda-pascal@sarap-77@flugazi@your-slutty-gf@daniegraceg@partyofone3413@cumberpegg@noisynightmarepoetry.@fifia-writes@grumpygrumperton @srmacaroni @txlady37 @bigboiseason123@ashleyfilm

[oneforthemunny]

ain't no sunshine |older!dilf!eddie munson x reader| part 4

prompt: eddie comes to talk to you about your relationship. 

age gap. everything is consensual. reader is 25/26 and Eddie is 42. if this isn't your thing, then please just don't read.

this one's a little nasty, so minors DNI plz.

contains: age gap, language, fingering, older! eddie, Eddie is a little mean and rough, thigh riding, p in v sex, dilf! eddie, all consensual, little angsty but gets better, aftercare at the end

She'll get over it, he'd said, just needs some time.

That was a week ago. Five days, technically, but long enough to have you heard swirling all day with thoughts- angry, mean, self degrading thoughts.

Madeline hadn't talked to you either, isolating you out of pure spite. It only amplified your guilt even more. You didn't want to hurt her, or fuck up her friendship, or anything. All you wanted was to be with Eddie. It wasn't expected, sure, but he made you happy. So, so happy. 

You'd texted him twice since he'd talked to you on the phone, the following Sunday after. He'd replied once, one short text. You tried to rationalize that he had Brielle right now. He probably was focused on her, she was his daughter and she was pissed. Plus, he wasn't the best texter anyways. Slow responses that he squinted to see- he refused to admit he needed glasses- punching in the letters with his large finger.

Large fingers that belonged in you.

Your legs clamped together, shaking your head as you went back to cutting out the construction paper. You couldn't think about that right now. Not when you had to cut out twenty round 'lion heads' for next weeks science lesson.

Still your mind wandered. You missed the way Eddie would greet you on days like today, leaning against your apartment door or his own front door, grinning. Sometimes he'd still be in his coveralls. It drove you wild.

A sharp knock at the door had your eyes snapping open, looking at the half cut circle in front of you. You set it down, slipping to the front door and looking out the peep hole.

A familiar head of curls and a utility jacket stood there. Your heart raced, trembling hands turning the knob. Opening the door, you looked at Eddie, eyes wide and hopeful. He gave a small smile, not his usual grin.

"Hey, sweetheart." He sounded tired. "Can we talk?"

You felt your heart plummet, sinking deep, deep into your chest. Here it comes. The end.

You didn't trust your voice, swallowing the bubble of tears that threatened to spill out of your chest, moving to the side. He wiped his boots, heavy and steel toed, on your mat, smirking at the little expression it said. The first time he'd saw it, he'd called it 'cute'. Not today.

You watched him stroll slowly towards the living room, hands in his pocket, shoulders tense. You shut the door, following him slowly, carefully.

"Looks like you've been busy." Eddie grinned, looking down at the paper parts you had spread across your coffee table.

You nodded, wrapping your arms protectively around yourself. "Yeah. Science lesson next week. Big one. We're talking about mammals."

Eddie gave a small laugh, eyes crinkling and shining towards you. The warmth in the glance soothed you, made your shoulder drop slightly. He sat in your arm chair, teal and velvet.

"I, um," Eddie looked down at his hands, knee bouncing. "Brie's real pissed." He started, looking up at you, eyes saddened. Your heart ached. "She... she's just worried that things with your sister will be different, and they're real good friends, ya know? I know where she's comin' from honestly..." He muttered, looking down at his hands.

You could feel it coming. The tears. Every word he said inched closer to it. The inevitable break off.

Eddie sighed, running a hand down his face. "I really like you, I do. I just..."

"I like you, too." You squeaked.

His face softened as he met your gaze. "I don't wanna stop seeing you." He admitted. "I don't really date. I never wanted Brie to go through meeting someone and getting attached, then being disappointed if they left."

You took a shaky breath in. "Are you breaking up with me?" You spat, eyes narrowed, lip wobbling to hold back tears. Eddie's face dropped.

"If you're gonna do it, just do it. Quit fucking around and just say it." You hissed, angry tears streaming down your face. You turned, wiping them frantically, shielding yourself from his view.

Eddie faltered, standing slowly. "Sweetheart, I..." His breath caught, seeing the shake in your shoulders as you held back a sob. "I don't want to stop seeing you."

You huffed, angry. Angry at him, at yourself, at everything. "Then what do you want?" You snapped. "Why are you here? To break up with me."

"You know, sometimes adults can just talk." Eddie snapped back, jaw clenching. "Maybe you're a little too young to realize that."

You turned, teeth gritting and eyes shining with tears. Possessed, angry, fuming, you smacked your hand on his shoulder, shoving into his chest roughly. "Fuck you!" You screamed. "You started this!"

"You agreed to go out with me. You were the one who kissed me in the parking lot, sweetheart." Eddie snapped, eyes narrowing. You shoved him again, his hand catching your arm lightly before you could. Not harsh, just enough to stop you.

Your chest heaved and his did the same, glaring down at you down the slope of his nose. You hated the way it made you throb, aching and slick between your legs.

Eddie made the first move, his hand dropping your wrist and cupping your jaw, lips on your. Teeth clashing, lips biting and pulling, spits of click and huffs filled the room. He pushed you on the couch, big hands on your wrists, pinning them above your head.

His lips traveled down your neck, stubble leaving a scratchy rash down your décolleté. "I've been thinkin' about you all week, baby." Eddie muttered against the skin of your neck, tongue sliding over the spot that made your back arch off the couch when he sucked it.

He moved his thigh, thick and strong, in between your legs, smirking at the way your ground down onto him through your sweatpants, desperate for any sort of friction. "This is all ya needed, huh?" Eddie smirked, pressing his thigh harder against your core. "That's why you're havin' such a fit, huh? Why you're actin' like such a little baby?"

The word did something to you. Maybe it was the way he said it, teeth baring in just the right way, eyes darkening to look down at you. You mewled, a little whine escaping your lips as you fought against his hand. This was new. Eddie hadn't been this way with you before, and you loved it.

"You're the one who wanted to talk." You snapped, eyes glaring at his but you hadn't stopped circling your hips to press down onto his thigh. "Doesn't seem like we're talking." You snipped.

Eddie growled, low and deep in the back of his throat, but you could feel his growing erection on lower belly. "Shut up." Eddie growled, one hand pinning your hands while the other yanked down your sweats. "You didn't want to talk earlier, so now you don't get to talk at all. Got it?"

Eddie looked down, practically drooling at the sight of your pussy. Glistening, puffy, and so ready for him, all for him. Eddie ran a hand down your folds, a shiver spilling down your spine. He circled your sopping hole, squeezing a finger in to the knuckle, reveling in the way you moaned and arched off the couch.

His thumb went to your clit, rubbing slow circle just the way you liked- the way that had you succumbing to him. Obedient and eager to do anything he said; take anything he gave you. It had only been a few weeks, but he knew so much about you already.

"You want to throw a little fit, huh? Actin' like a real brat. Didn't even try to listen to me." Eddie growled, pulling himself out of his jeans and boxers, adjusting them so they hung on his thighs. He bit back a smirk as you squirmed at the word. "Guess I'll have to put you in your place. Get you all fucked out so you'll actually listen, huh? Want me to show you what happens to brats?"

You nodded, tongue feeling swollen and thick in your mouth. You were so desperate to cum, and the way he was working his fingers on you had you so close anyways. Your toes curled when his finger curled, squishing the spot deep in you that made you cry out.

You were so close, you could feel it. The climb, inching closer and closer while his thumb circled you, not slowing up because he knew better- knew to get you there like this.

Then it stopped.

Eddie pulled out, leaving you breathy and eyes snapping open. Your mouth hung open, giving him an accusing look. He always let you cum first, to get you ready, he'd told you.

Eddie grinned, dimples deep and malicious. "Oh, did you think you'd get to cum?" He asked, mocking and slow. You pouted back, nodding desperately. "Oh, no, no, no, baby. You can't act like that and think you'll get rewarded."

You wanted to cry again, for a different reason this time. Eddie pumped himself, looking at you through thick lashes. "You wanna cum?" He asked. You nodded. He nodded down towards his dick.

"You better make it up to me then." He hummed, tip already leaking. "Show me you can be a good girl instead of a little mean, whiney baby."

***

You had more than made it up to him. Sucking him off until your jaw locked and he spilled down your throat, tattooed hands in your hair. He'd rewarded you by letting you get off on his thigh, first, then his fingers, and ending with plowing you over the arm of the couch, gripping your waist so hard you knew you'd have bruises.

Now, you were laying on the living room floor. Eddie had put a pillow under his back, sure it would be sore tomorrow- he already had such a bad back as it was. You curled into his chest, lids heavy and brain foggy. You were playing with the hair by his temples, where his hair was greying.

Eddie's hand ran up and down your back, soft and slow; an apology or maybe a comfort. After such a rough fuck, you deserved it, to be babied like this. He was happy to give it to you.

Your fingers raked over his chest, over the name and date that was inked there. 'Brielle Jo' in a cursive font, her birthdate underneath it.

Eddie looked down, catching where your eyes were wandering. "She'll be alright." Eddie soothed, hand running down your side. "She just needs some time." There was a pause. "Maybe you should talk to your sister." 

You lifted your eyes, brows furrowed gently. "They're both worried that this will mess with their friendship, so... maybe you should just let them know that it won't." Eddie suggested.

"That's true." You muttered, eyes closing. "Maddy's so mad at me though."

"Yeah? Brielle's not exactly thrilled with me either." He snorted, shaking his head. "She told me I was the worst dad on the planet, and I was ruining her life."

You cringed. "She didn't mean that." You said quickly, running a soothing hand down the hair on his chest.

"I know." Eddie nodded. "It kinda loses it's sting when she's said it a million times." He grinned, a lopsided grin that made your heart skip a beat. "I asked her if she'd talked to Madeline about it, and she said no. That they weren't really talking."

You felt your heart drop. Eddie ran a hand down your jaw, cupping it. "Maybe you should talk to her. Get them to talk to each other. I think they're both scared that the other is mad."

You nodded. "I will." You sighed, breathing out slowly through your nose.

Eddie smirked, lips pressing together as you cuddled closer to him. "Can't believe you thought I wanted to break up with you." He scoffed. "Can't get rid of me that easily, sweetheart. Not after that, for sure."

[landwriter]

Desperate Measures | Dream/Hob | 1.2K | G v silly and fluffy, literally 90% air, dream attempts a romantic gesture, hob is a sap and forgetful, human au, part text fic

for @domaystic drabbles, Day 6: Under the Same Umbrella

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Dream woke up to 26 texts from Hob. He put on his glasses and began his morning read. It’d replaced Times for him. The editorial quality, he thought, was far superior.

Hob (7:19 am) heading out, gave you a wee forehead kiss and you didn’t even stir. sleeping bloody beauty. love you disgustingly much x

Hob (7:26 am) couldn’t find my umbrella anywhere can you take a look if it’s not too much of a bother? feel like i’ve gone mad

Hob (7:30 am) christ it’s bucketing down!! standing under the eaves just to tell you how much it’s bucketing down

plants will be happy at least so will my goth boyfriend ;) hope your writing goes well today love. extra atmosphere!!

Hob (8:42 am) nevermind don’t look for it remembered that i left it in my office told johanna she can use it since i’m at the archives all day anyway glad i’m not the only one who’d forget their own head if it wasn’t screwed on :) :) :)

Hob (10:11 am) you should’ve seen the look lisa gave me when i showed up had to dry myself off in the men’s w half a forest of paper towels there goes my carbon offset from walking i said christ you’re probably still in bed asleep warm dry!! lucky bastard

wish i could come back already and drip puddles all over you

Hob (10:37 am) if this keeps up i’m going to look like mr darcy in the rain on your doorstep tonight don’t worry i promise not to propose marriage while insulting you xx although i do love you most ardently

...elizabeth

Dream smiled, read them all again, contemplated, and then sent his reply.

Dream (11:01 am) Sir, I appreciate the struggle you have been through

Hob replied moments later.

?? you sound like a customer service agent wait you’re quoting the film you can’t reject me if i’ve not proposed to you!! yet!!!

Dream snorted. 'and I am very sorry I have caused you pain' went the line. They’d watched it last weekend. Hob had cried, and Dream had privately decided that if Hob proposed, he’d say yes. Even if it was poorly done. It wouldn’t be, though. Not if Hob was doing it. He sent a second text.

...and I am very sorry you were drenched by rain.

Then he got out of bed and shuffled into the kitchen. His phone buzzed anew as he made tea and toast. He smiled at the sound. On their first date, Hob had warned Dream that he had a bad habit of annoying boyfriends over text. Dream, on his first date in six years, had wondered what it might be like to be so effusively charming that you could have enough boyfriends to form habits around them at all. He hadn’t known what to say, and Hob had ducked his head, grimacing a little, and said, “Just tell me to piss off, please, if I do? I know I can be a bit much.”

Dream believed it, because the man was telling him about his habits with boyfriends after one date. Not that he minded. And three months in, Dream had yet to tell him to piss off.

Turns out, a bit much was exactly what he’d wanted. Needed, in truth. Someone to tether him to the real world. His phone had become a modern-day lodestone in his pocket, a comforting pull of Hob-ness that would always point him back to life whenever he’d emerge, blinking and disoriented, out of the mire of his work. Work that he loved - creating worlds out of nothing, writing stories that would change people - but, coming on the age of thirty with nothing to show for it but recurring wrist strain and an upmarket flat that never had any guests, work that had also made him spend so much time apart from the rest of humanity that he was sometimes unsure how to rejoin it.

The tipping point had been when his eldest sister had found out that he hadn’t spoken to anyone else in between two of their regular dinners. Which were monthly. It had been mortifying. She’d smiled sadly, which was excruciating enough, and then gotten the gleam of a plan in her eyes, which had been far worse. “I’m setting you up,” she’d said. “I know just the guy. We go way back. I think you’ll like him.”

He had. Now, when his phone buzzed, he found himself frowning if it wasn’t Hob. (An exceedingly rare occasion.) But this time it was, of course. Four short messages sent one after the other:

hahahaha ok fine that was v good enjoy your day x

Five hours later, not even the curtain of rain awaiting him outside could douse the anticipation in his belly. An idea, he knew, was a powerful thing. Dream didn’t have an umbrella - Hob always shared with him, and would’ve apologetically nicked his if he had - so he would make the first leg of the journey as Hob did. He intended to go and get something nice, but once in the cold downpour, his resolve failed him almost at once, and he ducked into the first shop that had umbrellas in the window.

“Hiya,” said the girl at the counter without looking up from her phone.

Dream ignored her, blinking the rain out of his eyes, belatedly registering all the merchandise had a unifying theme and that he’d made a terrible mistake, borne of sheer desperation.

“Would you happen to have any other umbrellas? In black?” he asked. Hidden behind the counter, perhaps. If only you knew to ask.

The girl looked at him with an air of disbelieving reproval only accessible to teenagers and the very elderly. “You could try Boots, you know. It’s just down the street.”

Dream looked out the window. Rain torrented down. Commuters hurried past with their sensibly coloured umbrellas. From places exactly like Boots.

“Or we’ve got rain ponchos,” she added. It sounded like a threat.

“Nevermind,” said Dream quickly. “I’ll take it.”

“Enjoy your visit in London, sir,” she called out as he left.

He stepped outside and flicked open the umbrella with slightly more force than necessary.

Dream waited a few paces outside the archives, wanting to surprise Hob properly. Two separate pairs of tourists had thought he was their London Ghost Tours guide, and he was beginning to regret not holding out for longer, drenching be damned. Then Hob emerged, striding out and immediately stopping to pull out his phone. He was smiling at it. Dream smiled too, in anticipation.

A moment later his own phone buzzed loudly in his coat pocket, and Hob looked up in surprise.

“Oh my god,” he said. Then he said it again.

“I heard you needed an umbrella,” said Dream. He’d had the line already, since he got the idea. It had been very dashing and romantic in his head. It was somewhat undermined by the dreadful costuming choice that had been forced upon him.

Hob looked between Dream and the umbrella, bafflement melting into a happy laugh. He ducked underneath, pecking Dream on the lips. “I’m not sure I needed one quite this badly. Did you rob some poor tourist?”

“Unhappily, I paid for this.”

“Oh no,” said Hob, pulling away and pretending to inspect him for injury. “My poor darling. Your dignity.”

Dream sniffed. “I will recover.”

“Here,” said Hob. “I’ll carry it for you. You’ll only be guilty by association, then.”

They began walking, a bobbing Union Jack in a sea of blacks and greys. After the chief sin of ugliness, it was also a little small for two grown men, but Dream found he didn’t resent that at all, as Hob tucked him tightly into his side to keep them both dry. People gave them a wide berth. Tourists could never be trusted with umbrellas.

“You’ve rescued me, you know,” said Hob, nuzzling into his cheek.

“It wouldn’t do to have you dripping puddles all over the floors,” said Dream.

“Even if I looked terribly handsome, all wet and ardent?”

Dream bit his lip and smiled a little. “Perhaps you can be wet and ardent in the shower. Instead.”

Hob laughed again. It was Dream’s favourite sound. “Much warmer than the rain anyway. Deal.” Rain drummed down on their private nylon ceiling. “I was thinking chicken tikka masala for dinner?”

And so they made their way home, and although the rain never let up, Dream was so content and warm that he might’ve sworn they were walking in the sun.

[shanastoryteller]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

please continue slytherin Harry or fem mxy!wwx

a continuation of 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34

Xuanyu is missing.

“She was just here!” Jingyi protests. “How could she have – who was that guy she was with? Did he take her? We have to go after them! You said she hasn’t been feeling well lately, what if she can’t get away!”

Lan Wangji feels his pulse jump at the thought even as he forces himself to calm. There is no reason to panic.

“Calm down,” Jin Guangyao says and he’s offended until he realizes that he’s talking to Jingyi and his wide eyed son, who’s anxiously tugging on Jingyi’s sleeve in an almost comical reversal of their normal dynamic. “No one who’s able to hold their own against Lan Wangji would be able to taken silently from a dozen feet away, not even by Song Lan.”

“Why did she leave?” Jingyi demands. “Why would she go without telling us?”

Xichen sighs. “Perhaps she just wanted to catch up with Song Lan alone and she does not need anyone’s permission to go for a walk.”

This is true. Lan Wangji does not want to control Xuanyu’s actions, does not want her to feel trapped or constrained in the same way that his mother must have felt trapped or constrained.

But he wishes she would have told him.

“I’ll look for her,” Sizhui says, throwing his shoulders back. “If she’s just gone for a walk through town, it shouldn’t take long.”

“She may not want to be interrupted,” Xichen protests.

Sizhui shrugs. “She won’t mind if it’s me.”

This is true. Xuanyu adores Sizhui. Even if she’s looking for privacy, she won’t be irritated or upset at her step son for searching for her. “Go,” Lan Wangi says.

Xichen gives him a look while Jin Guangyao rolls his eyes, but both Sizhui and Jingyi are already bolting for the door in an attempt to outrun any orders Xichen might give to prevent it.

Twenty minutes later they tumble back through the door, even more frazzled than when they left. Lan Wangi is already rising to his feet when Sizhui blurts, “I can’t find her and a bunch of people saw her flying away with Song Lan.”

“Where?” he demands, striding forward. He can hear Xichen telling the disciples to wait for them to return, but he gets several outraged cries, even from the senior disciples.

Xuanyu, as strange as some people find her, is well liked in the clan.

Lan Wangji doesn’t linger, trusting that his brother and whichever disciples plead their way into accompanying him are more than capable of catching up.

~

Wei Wuxian may have underestimated the situation slightly.

“Can you get Xiao Xingchen out of here if I distract Xue Yang?” he asks Song Lan, scowling at the scene below them of Xue Yang laughing with Xiao Xingchen. He’s so glad that he had A-Qing wait for him by the river instead of agreeing to let her lead them back.

“How do you know that’s Xue Yang?” Song Lan asks incredulously. “The girl called him Chengmei!”

Damn. There’s no good answer he can give to that, so he ignores it and says, “Bring Xiao Xingchen to A-Qing and keep them safe. I’ll handle things here. Hopefully whatever he’s done to Xiao Xingchen will end once this guy’s dead.”

“How are you going to handle Xue Yang and hundreds of fierce corpses by yourself?” Song Lan asks, sounding a little too derisive for Wei Wuxian’s liking.

“I’m going to steal his corpses from him,” he answers. “The real question here is how is Xue Yang going to handle me and hundreds of fierce corpses, and the answer is he’s going to die today.”

[mariaofdoranelle]

Look at Us Now - ch. 26

Fic masterlist

Did I just rearrange my outline to add a filler chapter inspired by this incredible art by @sassyhobbits? Yes, yes I did.

Warnings: disgustingly lovesick Lorcan

Words: 2,3k

Aelin had only realized she’d taken a nap when she woke up from it. Not that it was a big surprise, given how shitty she was feeling today, but she still woke up feeling a little lost.

At the exact same time, she noticed the lack of light leaking through the curtains and two deep voices coming from the living room.

Salvaterre was still here.

Elide left for a conference two days ago, and suddenly Lorcan was everywhere. The man said Charlie could use a playdate with Maisie because he missed his mom, but he couldn’t fool anyone with that lost puppy aura he exhaled whenever his wife wasn’t within a 10-meter radius.

Aelin groaned, blindly searching for her phone on Rowan’s side of the bed. He wasn’t there to cuddle her while she woke up from her nap, and it was on Lorcan—no, not because Aelin and Rowan were both busy adults responsible for an unruly child, it was truly all Lorcan’s fault.

She opened DAFriends and Dorian, the gang’s groupchat named by Fenrys after one of his many jokes about his partner being the only one that never served in the Doranellian Air Force.

Aelin: Elide

Aelin: Please come pick your child

Aedion: oh no

Aedion: whatever charlie did

Aedion: my bets are on maisie tricking him into it

Aelin: i meant lorcan.

Lorcan: Fuck you.

Elide: I wish I could [tired emoji]

Aelin put her phone down, wrapped the baby blue microfiber blanket around herself and left for the living room. However, an odd sight made her stop, peering from the hallway to further study the scene before her.

Maisie, Charlie, Lorcan and Rowan were gathered on the floor, around the short coffee table—the kids elegantly sat, and both men hunched around it; the table’s usual decoration was exchanged for a baby pink tablecloth, accompanied by milk, cookies, and plastic tableware. Both kids had light makeup and toy accessories on, from candy rings to princess pretend jewelry, but the dads were the real showstopper.

Watching oh-so-stoic Rowan dressed up for whatever Maisie made him play along, beaded necklaces and all, wasn’t a rare sight, even if it would be forever amusing.

But Lorcan?

Major Salvaterre, a commanding officer capable of making military men cry, had just been caught at a princess tea party, being warned by his son to not ruin the makeup as he ate, while wearing a plastic crown and a pink feather boa.

And the icing on the cake was that Aelin couldn’t even be mad that the kids took her incredibly expensive makeup without her permission, because they absentmindedly made their dads look like horror movie dolls.

“Charles,” Maisie called in a voice that was likely an attempt to sound serious and sophisticated, but that was not the main concern here. Who the fuck was Charles? Her friend’s name was just Charlie.

She continued, “Why did the T-Rex walk on the side of the road?”

The boy tilted his head with a grave expression. “Why?”

“Because of cars, of course.”

Charlie tilted his head back in a strong and slightly forced way; it might not be his intention, but he sounded like a cartoon villain laughing. Then, “Very funny, Maisianne.”

Rowan straightened his posture and added, “I found it highly amusing, Maisy Daisy.”

Lorcan nodded. “Very important for T-Rex safety.”

He looked at Rowan, who easily met his gaze. Whatever the men were thinking, their exchange was indecipherable, somewhere between amusement and embarrassment and resignation and whatnot.

Whatever they were feeling, Aelin knew they’d never bring this up again—thank Mala she saw it, then. And took a picture.

She stepped into the living room to make her presence known.

“Purple eyeshadow suits you, Salvaterre.”

“Glad I pulled it off, Lieutenant.” He looked at her up and down with complete indifference. “I’d say the same, but I think the kids put it in under your eyes instead.”

Bastard.

It was like something clicked inside Rowan’s head, and he immediately looked up to assess her. “You’re felling better, honey?”

“Kind of.” She sat on the couch with her legs crossed, still wrapped on her blanket. “I want pepperoni pizza.”

The kids cheered and the men silently consented, but even if they protested, it was three against two now. Pizza won, always.

Fleetfoot settled on the couch with her and the others resumed their tea party, but Lorcan wouldn’t stop checking his phone. It’d be silly to even wonder whose reply he was waiting for.

Aelin teased, “You’re the first man ever to get abandoned during a pregnancy. I wonder why.”

Lorcan averted his eyes from the phone, sending a thunderous look that never worked on her. “I’m trying to look after my pregnant partner, not that you’d understand.”

“You’re right. I’ll make sure to apologize when I knock Rowan up.”

Rowan’s reaction was nothing more than a short guttural sound, as he made sure that snicker died halfway on his throat and looked down with clamped lips, trying not to upset his friend further.

Aelin could assume Lorcan’s agony was kinda cute, but that hovering would leave her insane if she was in Elide’s shoes. Yes, the woman was pregnant, but Lorcan’s incredibly smart and healthy wife wasn’t in real danger during a medical conference, surrounded by other doctors.

Maisie cut in with, “Uncle Lorcan, Mom said you’re getting a boy.” Maisie looked between him and Charlie with a wrinkled nose. “Why are you always planting boys on Auntie Ellie?”

Aelin’s eyes went wide. “Maisie, he can’t choose that!”

“Yes, he can!” The little girl huffed. “Like how Daddy picks if he’s planting a kingsflower or a daisy—when he plants the seed in your belly again, I want him to plant another girl.”

“Honey, you can’t choose if—“

“I don’t wanna live with a boy!”

“Ouch,” Rowan said, clutching his pearls—beaded necklaces, in that case.

Aelin sighed. “That babies and gardening thing we told you was more like a metaphor, love.”

Maisie frowned. “A meteor?”

Their conversation was interrupted by the pizza delivery guy’s arrival, and Aelin couldn’t be more relieved. She’d take any chance to escape some of her daughter’s questions.

The pizza box was placed at the tea party table where the milk and cookies used to be, but the dads’ excitement to eat was interrupted by a horror-filled silence.

Lorcan tilted his head, trying to understand what was placed in front of him. “Is that…?”

“Pepperoni,” Aelin said, grinning like the devil. “With a Nutella stuffed crust.”

She rolled the rest of the pizza around its crust, making a bulky roll out of the slice, and put as much as she could into her mouth. The pepperoni’s spice clashed directly with the Nutella’s sweet hazelnut, the cheese balancing both with that mild texture. Along with it, she got one of Maisie’s grape juice boxes for herself.

Fucking perfect. Aelin leaned back on the couch, eyes briefly falling closed with bliss.

When she opened them back up, it was to meet Lorcan’s horrified gaze—which was slowly aimed at Rowan, who just shrugged and cut the chocolate off his slice.

He waved it at Aelin. “Want my crust, babe?”

“Me!” Maisie said, making a grabbing gesture.

Rowan obliged, then jutted his chin towards his girlfriend. “Next one’s yours.”

Good. A Nutella stuffed crust would go wasted with a chocolate hater like him.

But something must’ve gone wrong because, soon after Aelin ate her three slices plus two crusts given by Rowan, it seemed like that food wasn’t settling well in her stomach.

That little discomfort burned more by the minute, so Aelin pressed one of the couch’s pillows against her stomach, her teeth ground together. The food threatened to revolt and come back up, making her wince, which didn’t go unnoticed by Rowan.

Her boyfriend was by her side in a second, assessing every sign of distress. “What’s going on?”

She nodded. “Just a little indigestion, I—“

Maisie stood on her mother’s other side, wide green eyes cautiously assessing her. “Mommy, you okay?”

Aelin pushed the pain aside to give her daughter a nod and a grin. “Perfect. I can do it with a tummy ache.”

She excused herself to leave for the bathroom and sat on the floor, next to the toilet just in case. Her stomach felt like a boiling cauldron of corrosive acid that was about to eat her whole, and Aelin was taking deep breaths, stars bursting behind her eyelids as cold sweat broke out on her skin.

Aelin didn’t know how long it’d been when two knocks on the door caught her attention. To her surprise, it was Lorcan, holding out a yellow-ish glass of water.

She eyed it suspiciously, but took it. “This water isn’t crystal clear.” Aelin held it up against the light and squinted an eye at it. “This isn’t poisoned, right? You sure you’re not trying to finish the job?”

Lorcan rolled his eyes. “It’s ginger water. It helped Elide with the…” he trailed with a sudden inquisitive look, “nausea stuff.”

He walked out of the toilet as quickly as he entered, but Aelin could still hear him say, “I hope you didn’t knock her up, man, because there’s still time to bail.”

“Shut your mouth, you twerp!” Aelin shouted from the bathroom, the kid-appropriate insults easily rolling off her tongue.

That wasn’t her preferred choice of drink, but Aelin felt like she didn’t have much of a choice now. She gulped what she deemed enough, then a little more when Rowan walked inside to check on her.

“How’re you feeling?” he asked while sitting beside her on the floor.

She shrugged. “It’s manageable.”

He slowly nodded, his gaze fixed on a tiny crack on the bathroom tile. Aelin gave him space to process his thoughts, knowing it was a matter of time before he said, “About what Lorcan said before…” A frown. “You’re not, right?”

Knocked up, he meant.

“I’m not, baby,” she replied with a small smile, because it was such Rowan thing to fret over one single nausea episode.

He hummed and scooted close enough to wrap one arm around Aelin. “I know we’re working on our timing, but I wouldn’t mind it, you know? If you were…”

“Yeah, me too. It’d be good news.” Aelin nuzzled where his chest met his shoulder, both still sat on the bathroom floor.

“Incredible news.” He pecked her head, and Aelin knew there was still something brewing in that mind of his. A moment later, he continued, “How did you know it with Maisie? Not how did you find out, but like, what gave it away?”

“Nothing. I found out because of an exam. It was pretty random, actually—I didn’t even believe it at first.”

Rowan jerked upwards, his pine-green eyes wide as saucers and fully aimed at her. “Nothing? You had absolutely no clue you were pregnant until it was shoved at your face?”

“Yeah, I dunno.” She tilted her head, flooded with memories of that time of her life. “I was having military training fourteen hours a day, every day. That can be as physically straining as producing a tiny human. But I got my last period…” Aelin looked upwards, lips pursed as she tried to recall this piece of information with accuracy. “Recently.”

“That’s not very reassuring.” Her boyfriend was still, raptly watching her.

A chuckle. “Let’s say it’s statistically unlikely that I’m pregnant right now.”

“Very well, then,” Rowan said, that frown being replaced by a soft smile. They settled that way, hanging on to each other while he played with the ends of her hair.

To be honest, Aelin wasn’t worried about getting pregnant right now. When you finish a certain age of girlhood—the one when pregnancy is a frightening thing that puts your name in everyone’s lips and allegedly ruins your life—your worst nightmare might become something you really want, and you realize it’s harder to achieve than you previously thought.

Accidents still happened, Maisie being one of them, but for most of her friends, having a kid on your 30’s takes actively trying for months or even years, not just neglecting condoms by choice every now and then, after less than four months together with your partner.

“I thought that little hellion two doors down had made your hair gray enough already,” Aelin teased, thinking about what was ahead of them. What she knew they both wanted in a near-ish future.

“About the kids…”

“Uh-oh. What now?”

“They asked to have a sleepover here.”

Aelin’s shoulders sagged with relief. Maisie’s news could be anything between spilled water and arson. “Yeah, of course. We can handle Maisianne and Charles,” she said, mocking their tea party’s fake names. “Just send his dad home.”

“About that…”

Oh no. “Spill.”

“Lorcan didn’t like the idea—maybe he didn’t want to be home alone? I dunno. The kids started a tantrum, so I ended up offering him Fenrys’ old room for tonight, that way he let Charlie stay.”

“Oh, come on!” Aelin gave him an incredulous glare. “Ellie’s in a four-day trip, her grown husband is not an abandoned puppy.”

Rowan gave her a pleading look. “But he looks so miserable.”

She rolled her eyes. “Fine. Only because I think his ginger thing is actually working.”

“You’re a doctor. You’re supposed to know if it works or not.”

A shrug. “I’m an orthopedist. It’ll only be my business when I start throwing up bones.”

“Yet, you use the I’m a doctor card whenever it suits you.”

“Whenever you’re being an overbearing fussy Buzzard, you mean.” Aelin snuggled closer, wrapping her arms around her boyfriend’s frame.

“Yep,” he said around a smile, “And I’ll be exactly that now that you’re sick and Lorcan’s babysitting.”

“If he doesn’t have a nightmare about his wife and ends up cuddling with you at night, you mean.”

“Now you’re just being mean.” Rowan chuckled, his eyes filled with something molten as he gazed at her.

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