#If ppl you know talk in private and if they don't want to change literally just cut them out of your life if possible

[zoekrystall]

Saw certain tweets and here once again a reminder which a twt mutual luckily wrote shorter than I could (plus public so I can rb bc no way I do that myself on that site)

Also

And if you want smth I wrote myself which is longer and not just abt that here you go

[sickofthistoxicshit]

Here's the thing, I have nothing against Lou/Tommy, but the accessive enthusiasm of him returning and everyone already talking about him showing up for next season,

Which if any of you watched for the last 7 seasons, it is very possible because writers love to drag temps over to the next seasons because apparently breakups are for season beginners, mostly (except for taylor),

is very off-putting.

1. Because the dude literally just showed up and they haven't even had one worthy make out session to even call it a situationship.

2. Buck hurt Eddie physically to get into Tommy's mouth and pants, which ruined it for me from the start tbh and Tommy had nothing to do with it, he was just there.

3. Buck has made Maddie's day, his coming out party - that is a big NO in my book. Because one, dude you literally came out, what if you decide eventually that you don't want this or don't want this with this specific first-guy-ever anymore? And two SHE IS YOUR SISTER THE LEAST YOU CAN DO IS HAVE HER LEAVE ON HER HONEYMOON BEFORE YOU KILL YOUR PARENTS OF A HEART- ATTACK.

Even if they "seem accepting" to Buck’s face, this takes time to process, something better revealed in time and in private, once one is sure. Not thinking and talking about this the whole wedding!

And yes, I know, Buck is impulsive, but think for a second, would you want your baby brother to hijacke your wedding after so long of planning it? I know I would have killed him.

Would have told him in advance that if he's bringing his new boyfriend to my wedding, he better tell our parents first. Because this is my fucking day!

I love Buck, but his self-centered personality rubs me the wrong way this season.

Maybe because I wanted to see him growing the fuck up after 7 years and so many traumas and experiences and therapy that he went through, but nope, same old Buck, only instead of the dating the girl who gave him attention, he's seeing the guy who gave him attention.

It's annoying, it's off putting and frankly I am so mad at the writers and Tim for this because these characters deserved better.

And don't talk to me about representation because Shonda did the bi representation in Station 19 perfectly to the point that I was bummed that Travis and Eli didn't end up as endgame even though I loved Emmett with Travis.

Again somehow the 911 writers managed to taint for me what should have been and amazing experience, independent completely of buddie, but no they managed to not only mix Eddie and Buck with Tommy, the whole thing came at the expense of Eddie, physically and mentally, because not only did Buck not apologized to Eddie, Eddie also lost his new friend who now fawns over Buck.

So screw this storyline, I hate it and I hate how everyone is OK with everything that happened in the story, just because Buck is doing a dude(kissing really, there was no doing yet).

There's a lot of blocking in my future, most are just ppl who either came in now because of bi Buck or those who came from other disappointing fandoms and are just here for the rep not the actual story.

But some of us have been here since S1, we want the rep, but we want it to be complimenting, we want to fall in love with the character before it turns into a LI, we want the emotion, the connection, the obvious love building over several years.

Like Casey and Gabby and Severide and Stella, like Maya and Carina, like Travis and Emmett (even though I liked Eli better for him) like Sullivan and Natasha.

I want an emotional payout, give up the surprises, and the wrecked trucks and ships, just tell a good story!

And for the love of all that's holy, enough with the last-minute changes, those never turn out well in the long run. They literally started from scratch when they made the switch between Eddie and Buck.

Also in my opinion, Eddie had a LOT more chemistry with Lou/Tommy than Buck. It would have made so much more sense, in the catholic guilt and internal homophobia department, the nun and supposedly commitment issues was weak at best.

It could have been epic. 😩

And yes, Buck could have started the season single, no harm in that, maybe make him, I don't know, actually growing into something that he would like without someone else to pet his ego? Go back to therapy, work for the LT. exams, be interim captain, realize his worth and learn to love himself for him, not because someone else gave him attention and that made him preen, get him somewhere worthy. Even lessons with Tommy without involving Eddie in this would have been great.

Just something that shows character development, because up until now all I get is S2/S3 Buck and I've seen that movie before, I want my money back.

I realize this is harsh, and normally, I would stick to the light and fun and ignore the rest, but this had to be said out loud so I can go back to that.

That being said, as I said, I will watch Madney wedding purely for Madney. Anything else is just a bonus. I can't wait for that bachelor party and see wth happens to Chimney.

Happy Monday, my loves. ❤️

[whatudowhennooneseesyou]

Hii! Could you edit when you can your Hongjoong nsfw reading since it has the wrong rising and houses?

And wanted to comment some things too like I don't think him having Winona as a type is true (at least not that he said it) bc I didn't see that anywhere?? And talking abt Camila, I believe she has olive skin and changes depending the weather, but either way the poster he had in the past she wasn't light at all soo. Anyways he said lot of times that he doesn't have an ideal type and goes for the auras and how they are (btw don't care if he didn't explicitly said the word still believe he came out as pansexual, also other tarot readings always point that too!). Aesthetic, not sexual, attraction is another thing. Like that fan he said was gorgeous with gothic(? aesthetic.

But ig it could influence too if he is attracted to those kind of aesthetics in the first place to talk with them and leading to whatever.

And about those fancalls and fansigns fans I'm pretty sure he acts like that bc he knows and loves how his fans praise him and is very giggly and cute or flirty on purpose bc he knows they and him like it.

He could like them too who knows but only he can confirm bc he looks at ppl with what some say love or attraction and shows attention to literally almost everyone lol, all the members, interviewers, fans, some celebrities..

Btw I so agree with what you said of parasocial relationships affecting them too, recently ppl were talking about them and I said that bc we usually never think it affects them too and pretty sure goes both ways, I mean we even have proof of it, he said himself various times he relies to atiny for comfort too and communicates to us a lot of things and important occasions as if we were friends and always wants to be more close to us. I think is also something he needs in any close friend/partnership he is compatible with, his chart indicates it too. The other more interactive members too..They all try to have some boundaries too at least but yeah definitely affects them in some degree.

Aside the ones mentioned like Camila, all the celebs he likes and maaybe some fans, for more type "indicators" he said Mingi was sexy and his deep voice was his type, or when he shows his "panicked gay" behavior like to say some examples, around Sh doing exercise shirtless in their old dorms, recently saying "while I calm my beating heart" to San being shirtless and wanting him to be covered lol, or many times being nervous and giggly around Yunho holding his waist and being close, saying how handsome he is and for Yeosang too, and touching his biceps constantly or saying he loves his and Sh deep tones. So I see a pattern of somewhat muscular, tall and deep voiced guys👀 Btw not shipping him with any of them but those things can still show our preferences.

Ah idk but maybe also him at least aesthetically attracted to androgyny and gnc ppl like he himself is bc of some artists he loves like David Bowie, Prince, the singer in Years&Years, etc.

So in conclusion maybe more "masculine" looking guys, "feminine" girls, and any androgynous or/and gnc person! But yeah at the end don't think physical aspect is not important or the most important to him.

And on another topic, I would also say he may like the other being dominant or/and a top as well. Bc I saw cap risings or/and dominant ppl saying they like being topped and dominated in bed in contrast of them being pressured/being dominant in the rest of their life aspects! Think this could be true seeing how he always relegates his leader role any time he can to the others and how he likes being taken care of, like Sh and Yh mainly, always taking care of him when they shared bedrooms or life things bc he is so clumsy and also has too many responsibilities and pression with that role in his job already to also be that way in his private life. And you can tell he forces himself to be that way like his "I think I need to be more patriarchal" for them to listen to him and take him seriously some times, and also needing to be that way in contrast to Sh, even if I think they are wrong and should do both roles if they want balance not being just one thing and Hj not having to be the one that scolds and nags them specially at the beginning when he is so caring too and could be more if he didn't have that parent and leader role😔

And even if he still has both facets we saw how he actually is such a baby in a relaxed ambients specially with older ppl than him too, and even saying how pure and innocent was bf having to be a leader (although to me he still is just not only that).

Anyways tangent done, but I think both him and his partner could be switches and verses and being one role or another depending the partner or occasion💁

Hey, thank you for sending this in and I honestly don't really have a lot to add to this opinion because I think all these points are great and valid.

Yes, I will revise Hongjoong's natal chart once I finish Softtober and my final Mommy!May fic and then I'll focus more on astrology content for the new year.

He mentioned it in an interview or a behind-the-scenes clip A LONG TIME AGO like I think it was around 2018-2019 that he mentioned it?

And Camilla does have olive skin which is why I said 'fair complexion' that includes a vast array of skin tones and high-contrast features, like think Deep/True Winter colour palette and aesthetic.

I know he has hinted a few times at being apart of the LGBTQIA+ community but when did he say anything about being specifically pansexual? I'm curious now and would like to know more.

Aesthetic and sexual attraction are different, I agree and it's what I mean when I say there are some fancalls where you can see that the member thinks the Atiny is attractive in some way.

I giggled when I saw that Atiny with Hongjoong with their bright hair and fishnet gloves and dark eye makeup because when Hongjoong said their style was his type, I was like...'KNEW IT!!! I FKN KNEW IT!!'

In regards to what you mentioned about him potentially liking 'masculine' guys, I hadn't thought about but I can see it, it reminds me of when he said Mingi was 'his type' in one of the concerts lol! I don't know what context he meant when he said it, I just know he said it.

I've always been a firm believer of 'switch hongjoong' and I do believe that while he does prefer to be dominant, he's one of the few members (Wooyoung and San are the other ones) that are 60-40 even when it comes to power dynamics.

There is this comfort image in my mind of Hongjoong being the type to want to be babied and 'taken care off' after a hard day at work or when he's burnt out- I think if he's really tired but still in the mood, he wouldn't mind having his partner just take over and do whatever they want.

Hongjoong gives me the aura of someone who potentially might be demisexual in all honesty and has shifts in his drive and libido, I feel (because I have similar natal chart placements to him) like he would rather abstain until he meets 'the one' rather than have casual and meaningless sex.

Why? You may ask?

Hongjoong's Scorpio Venus in the 11th House indicates he's satisfied with the praise and appreciation he receives from Atiny's so whoever Hongjoong's future partner will be, they must be truly special because Hongjoong doesn't NEED to be in a romantic relationship, he chooses to be in them.

Anyway, this was a great conversation anon and I really enjoyed chatting with you :)

[definitelynotshouting]

OUGHHH sorry to be on anon, I need to make a proper tumblr to talk to people in hermitblr but currently I only have a sideblog and am not gonna expose my ten year old main aklsdjhfdklas, but I am the author of the romeo and juliet au tysm you made my heart grow warm and fuzzy and then explode I've never seen my fic mentioned out in te wild before <33333

to fuel ur theatre au brainworms, in the romeo and juliet au: mercutio is bdubs + benvolio is cleo, and jimmy and joel are sampson and gregory (two capulets from the start of the play they're such dumbasses my absolute beloveds), so we've got the design philosophy of the montagues and the capulets mirroring the aesthetics of the family and the bad boysss. (I never came up with a design for bad boy!Ren when he steps in as Tybalt instead of Grian during show week but I feel it's not too hard to imagine hehe)

but also (separately from that au, because I saw other talk of the life series and theatre and plays on ur blog) I constantly think about the life series as a greek tragedy, specifically in relation to the purpose of the series' inevitable tragedy being catharsis for the watchers (with the watchers also being literally the viewers). we love to see them suffer!!! but there's also a bunch of politics surrounding greek tragedies that Plato and Aristotle had discourse about that you can rope into it and tldr; my understanding is catharsis was Aristotle's answer to Plato's concern that tragedies' emotive affect could encourage rebellion against the state, with Aristotle saying that instead the cycle of pity and fear and eventual catharsis felt by the audience has a "purifying" effect that's like an emotional release from those emotions instead. Then with the extra layer of lore the fandom has surrounding Grian running away from the watchers, if Grian designs the life games, to the end of sating the watchers' need to emotionally feed (thank you Martyn for that piece of lore I'm stealing it jkfhdsk), the purpose of the games could be the cleansing of the watchers' discomfort with him running away and being a player and maintaining the status quo where Grian is actually the one in control !!!! even if he makes himself suffer. also different characters "curses" as their harmatia!! And, if we interpret the watchers as a fictional force AND the viewers simultaneously, then the chorus could absolutely be watchers who are vocal in the fandom - removed from the "players" (and OH how I love the dual meaning of minecraft players and players as in actors) but providing additional commentary and insight into what's happening that further feeds the emotional experience of the audience !!

alsooooo if you don't know the show "& Juliet" scar and grian are ALSO romeo and juliet in that to me, it's their last life/early double life era </3

theatre theatre theatre theatre theatre theatre theatre theatre

YOOOOOOOOO HELLO OP YOUR FIC IS AMAZING AND IM GLAD I COULD REC IT BC IT DESERVES RECOGNIZED!!!!! Also all of this is AMAZING im so obsessed with bdubs being mercutio and cleo being benvolio. Thats incredible like HELLO????? based choices tbh thats so fun

Also super obsessed with the meta of plays feeding into the watcher canon (and im STILL not over martyn somehow accidentally canonizing a key element of my au, this is insane, i came up with the idea for watchers feeding on player emotions in SEPTEMBER OF LAST YEAR), thats so fucking neat, i love a good tragedy OUGHHHHH its so compelling.

Also no worries about being on anon!!!! I did that too before i finally cleaned up my main blog so all the posts were privated, and then changed my url to match this one so ppl would recognize me WHEEEEEZE. Smth that helped me was tagging my own sideblog in anon asks i sent, so ppl would know it was me, and i'd get the notif when it got answered. Ofc you might not be comfortable linking your sideblog, but if you ever made one you wanted to sign off with, thats the option i used for a while before using mass post editor to private my entire main blog!!!!

theatre theatre theatre!!! Your ideas are SO pog and cool my dude feel free to ramble to me any time :]

[cubbyyyy]

Hi! I read that post about Ohm/Nanon and the uneasiness you are feeling about the Pat/Pran episodes. Could you fill me in? What happened between them? I am also a huge bad buddy fan. I also have high hopes for the bb episodes of Our Skyy 2. Reading your post made me a tiny bit worried. Thanks!

First up; I'm sorry for making you worry! Nothing is official and it's best to just wait till the episodes come out and be happy or angry then. The worrying before is always such a pain..

But to answer your question:

Idk how much you know about Ohmnanon but they were really good friends even before bbs and also after bbs you could often see them hanging out (it was even a meme that they see each other literally everyday) and it was all nice and fun. When you had the bbs boxset or watched P'Aofs reaction videos you could hear/ see how many scenes they actually improvised since they just knew Patpran perfectly (for example the whole phone call scene, the breakfast in bed scene, the scene where Pat stood behind Pran to play the instrument, the kisses when they officially got together, Ohms tear during the Ep 5 kiss; the way Ohm played Pat in general - Pat wasn't supposed to be in love with Pran right from the start subconsciously, it was Ohm who said he couldn't play Pat NOT in love with Pran, which is why you can see Pat being so flirty and staring at Pran so much even before they got together [the best example is the bus stop scene for that.] The list could go on but I'm gonna stop it here). During the bts you could also see how comfortable Ohmnanon were with each other, they were always kissing or hugging or playing with one another; so it got clear how they managed to get their characters dynamic so good.

And now.. well. Our Skyy 2 is supposed to be filmed now. And Ohmnanon are, let's say, not well. In the beginning of this year Ohm had a scandal (which I won't explain further right now) and it changed a lot of stuff. The fandom changed, picked sides. Many didn't want to support Ohm any longer and also didn't want Nanon to still be associated with Ohm. I would say this was the time everything changed.. The fandom turned into the ones who stayed with Ohm and the ones who stayed with Nanon and somehow every 2 business days they argue. It's a lot about protection I think and everyone feeling like their bias doesn't get as much love as the other (very kpop like). An example would be during Hi-Touch: both Ohm and Nanon had a fan ignore them during a hi-touch. And both times the stans accused the other of being at fault, threw hate towards the one who didn't get ignored or said stuff like "if it were the other way around.." which was bs, since both happened and fans reacted the same way but yeah; that's kinda how the fandom got.

And to top it all off; Ohmnanon stopped interacting. They grew very distant towards one another. Atp they don't even look at each other. They definitely don't interact. During lives they only talk to the interviewer or ppl behind the camera, never even towards one another. They don't whisper or hug or whatever else like they did before. You never see them together anymore, if they are at the same location they won't be with one another; instead they'll be with others or alone even. I think the biggest "official" indicator that everything DEFINITELY changed and isn't just paranoia was Nanons birthday wish to Ohm in march. The last 4 years (? I'm not quite sure if its 3 or 4 yrs) Ohm always got a feed post with hbd wishes and all that. This year Nanon was the only one from all GMMTV colleagues who just reposted the official GMMTV birthday wish in his story to congratulate Ohm. Everyone else posted a private pic from Ohm, a pic with Ohm or at least a pic Ohm himself made and posted; So Nanon really stood out with the official GMMTV wish, especially since he never did that with others either. And we all know how many pics ON have together bc of the whole cp thing.. so it was weird. Aka after that, many fans got the message that ON definitely are not like before; you could already see it but that was one of the things that officially kinda sealed the deal? Since it was such a drastic change to before.

Why everything changed; nobody knows. It just gets clearer that the ON cp is definitely breaking up. Maybe they had a fight. Maybe it has to do with the scandal. Maybe it's fake. Some people say it's gmmtvs stragegy to break up cps who don't wanna do another bl together and to do that they shouldn't interact publicly. But they're all just theories. What actually happened is between ON but it's still heartbreaking to see.

And with everything changing so drastically I get a little scared about the OurSkyy 2 Episodes haha.

PLUS; It seems like they want to do a mash up with ATOTS which is quite devastating.

NOW I TALKED A LOT OOPS

[golbrocklovely]

one last thing for the night about the elton and corey drama

assuming that all elton claimed was true, i do feel bad for him. bc i know what it's like for your kindness to end up being used against you, especially in a financial way.

however….

this full grown man is exactly that, a full grown adult man. he should have had enough wherewithal to know he was being used and to stop corey from getting as far as he did. not only that, but i can't understand doing as much work as elton claims he was doing, and corey doing none whatsoever (even less than none sometimes) and yet… somehow paying him still. even when he would flake out, he still paid him. at that point, you should have put your foot down and said "look, if you want to be paid, you have to be here the whole time." or "you have to show up, plus do x, y, and z, and then i'll pay you completely." i think his main issue is his lack of communication and then getting upset when things don't work out.

not only that, but if corey was such a shit talker, which i don't doubt - i think it's wrong to make it seem like he's the sole reason elton did all the shit he did way back in 2021/22 to snc. look, i don't doubt that corey being in elton's ear telling him that snc were talking smack (allegedly) would have caused elton to do all the things he did, however he needs to start taking accountability for it. bc it wasn't just the occasional snide comment, it went on for MONTHS. literally over a year of him constantly being mean to snc and claiming they were copying him/tfil when that just wasn't the case, among many other things. elton previously blamed it on the fans for egging it on back when they all did that one video together, and now he's changing his tune to say "no corey made me think this way". no, my guy: you thought this way. point blank period. no one told you to be petty or to be a terrible fucking communicator and not reach out to the ppl you claimed to be friends with for years. if you had issues, regardless of if they were real or not, you should have reached out privately. but instead you went public with it and stirred the pot for years, and then the fandom eventually retaliated in a worse way (which he didn't deserve bc obviously no one deserves that level of vitriol thrown their way).

this is all very messy and again should have been handled privately. but it's too late for that now and i wonder how things are gonna play out.

also i don't take pride in being right about corey or elton, but it is nice to know that all the shit i got thrown my way for feeling the way i did is now somewhat justified lol

[destinyc1020]

About Paul Mescal: I personally didn’t like how and when exactly he spoke about such a problem as increasing fame. He himself is not so well known now, only those who follow cinema and actors know him, and just his next project - Gladiator 2 can make him known to the general public. But this film has not yet been released, there is always a possibility that the project may fail, there is already information that the film’s budget has been exceeded, so I am not sure that it will be able to collect normal box office receipts. Such statements about the influence of fame always cause people to have a strange attitude towards it; as an actor, you may be perceived as ungrateful and arrogant. Even when Tom spoke about this, many people also treated it strangely, although it is a fact that Tom is very popular. After his words about the influence of fame, how he doesn’t want it, some wrote - why did he agree to the role of Spider-Man, forgetting that it was literally the role of his dreams and he was 18-19 years old at the time of casting. Moreover, Tom confirms his words with his actions - he really almost never attends award ceremonies, left social networks, took a break, he doesn’t attend events like the Met Gala (and it’s unlikely that he ever will), and now he’s going to take part in a play . I think choosing the theater was a definite step as a challenge to myself, a new experience and again choosing a project that will attract a strong influence (how ironic that this play attracted too much attention - first with sales, and then with the casting of actors). Honestly, at some point, because of these words about fame, I thought that Tom would really move away from acting, but I think that in the coming years he will definitely not participate in a new project like remakes or like Unchanged.

Paul needed to wait a little, see how Gladiator 2 would affect his career and level of fame, and express his feelings about this in a different way - and so he wants to show himself as an actor who wants to act, and not be famous, but for such statements you need specific time and actions

Wait.... I'm trying to figure out your logic Anon, because I'm not understanding.... And then one minute you're talking about Paul, and then, the next minute, you're talking about Tom... 🤔

Paul was speaking in the context of what might happen once his Gladiator 2 film comes out.

It's no secret that "Gladiator 2" will be the biggest film in his career (thus far), and will more than likely catapult him into a different fame level bracket, whether his film does huge box office numbers or NOT. (I predict that it will)

This was literally all that Paul said:

X

I don't see the big deal?? 🤷🏾‍♀️ I think ANY actor would be feeling the pressure when it's their first lead role in a large film such as this.

It sounds like he's trying to prepare himself for what's to come once the film starts getting promo, a press tour, various premieres, and finally comes out to theaters.

I don't think it's so farfetched to think that his life MIGHT change fairly significantly (like most actor's do) when he's in a lead role for a pretty HUGE film, with actors such as Denzel Washington and Pedro Pascal also on the roster. 🤔

He was being honest about how he feels about that possibility. He reiterates also in the interview that he is still very much an indie film type of guy. But this was a great opportunity for him, so I'm glad that he took it on, but having your life be more scrutinized with higher fame isn't smthg that most actors enjoy.😕

Even Tom has talked about this downside himself as well.

No doubt, Paul has either seen for himself, or ppl have told him how an increase in fame can affect your private life. So I think he's just bracing for that. 🤷🏾‍♀️

I didn't view it as arrogance?

[enifo-talks]

Btw I don't think character C!Scott had the intentions of making fun of C!Pearl trauma or gaslighting Pearl (tw self harm?? Not that serious though)

Also if you interpret the PICS differently I will actually love to hear your view on it

Scott probably got over double life and assumes the same for Pearl (how can he not when Pearl agreed they were BOTH over it (of course he did put her in the spotlight cause clearly she is not over it)) but he probably was like 'hm how can show that we really are over it? I got it ill make a joke about it!' which is fine but maybe he should of not picked the powder snow thing out of literally anything.(it's like haha remember when you use to cut yourself like 😬) I know it also happened to hurt him but likeee do I need to explain?? It could of been how Pearl was a crazy ex (she wasnt) or something else.

Also those relationships were you make fun of someone can be healthy if it goes both ways!(and has boundaries) It kinda sad just see Pearl be quiet after those jokes especially since it's two ppl just picking on Pearl at the same time so she can't really do anything about it.

Also the whole selective memory thing?? Yes it's kinda true, but with contexts it's kinda ironic because he talked about Pearl using powder snow when he started the whole abuse cycle. But like he didn't mean to gaslight Pearl, he actually just forgot.

Btw I'm not defending Scott, even if you hurt someone on accident you still need to apologize I'm just saying, I don't think in this one he was this mastermind abusing Pearl he generally wants to reconnect with her, but he is also sabotaging himself at the same time. I just think he feels really guilty about double life and doesn't wanna admit what he did was wrong. But he is also way over correcting and you get this weird awkward vibe.

Now Cleo idk it did seem intentional I'm not going to lie. (I haven't watched their pov yet so maybe my perspective will change)

(remember this is character not cc. CC!Pearl clearly isn't actually traumized by double life nor did she actually do self harm (I hope so). Also in cc perspective the whole "bullying" isnt even close to bad 💀. Like just making fun of your friend rp character they did two years ago isn't that deep. Also if they did have an actual problem the would talk about it privately by now, but were looking at this at a character angle).

[miwauko]

@/moonjellifish i think you're forgetting to add the part where you took my words out of context and opened up a space where ppl can be openly racist towards me + send INCREDIBLY racist asks and death threats as well. random people on here that i didn't even know existed were saying the nastiest things about me because you kept twisting my words and making it seem like i came at you for no reason. lets also talk ab how you accused me of "stealing" from you (but when i said that ab u im the bad guy and i got shut down?) and accused my friends and i of making fake accs to ruin your blog and friendships? unlike you im in college, i teach a ballet class, and i have a fucking life in general you bum. i have better things to do than harass someone on the internet.

you demonized me as a black woman for MONTHS. not only that, but you said some very ignorant things towards the black community such as calling us "blacks" and said im using my race as a weapon when you literally offended my race many times and even in my own comments. don't ever speak on the black community or any other community ever again. don't ever speak on ME again. all i wanted you to do is stop finding my personals and private accounts that i dont even give out and leave me alone. instead you twisted my narrative when i don't even fucking know you. i did not "steal ur user" its ai yazawa's NAME and i swapped two letters just like i did in previous users of mine. how am i supposed to know an older user was yours? you were just finding any reason possible to come at me aggressively while painting me out to be the aggressive one.

i've found out so many nasty things you've said abt me and how racist you are over these past few months. i don't know why you're even acting like you care now because you don't. if you did you would've changed your behavior months ago but like i said, you came up with a bunch of excuses to save yourself and demonize me for no reason. you're only apologizing cos you got called out (again) for offending the black and asian community. please stop making up lies about me and others because if i find something out i have no issue posting about this on another platform i have and letting people come at you JUST how you had people come at me. maybe then you'll actually develop some common sense and stop being a terrible person.

by the way, your apology isn't sincere because you didn't write it yourself and you've been shit talking me and other ppl for months. you'll most likely see this sooner or later and make a very passive aggressive post yet again to make it seem like im coming at you for no reason. you aren't sorry at all, you truly dont give a fuck.

[letstalkaboutfandomsbaby]

i LOVE ur nanami x chubby reader contenttt ahhh i don't know if you take requests but por favor grace us with some more of your nanami x chubby reader content 🥺🥺

MEIN LIEBLING, MEIN SCHATZ, OF COURSE I WILL MAKE SOME MORE NANAMI X CHUBBY READER CONTENT FOR YOU ARE YOU KIDDING??? 🥺💕

No but i honestly get so excited when ppl ask for x chubby reader stuff bc we deserve love and attention too 😌💕 i may or may not have a Gojo x chubby reader thing in my drafts but you will have to be patient for that my little ducklings sksksk

OK lemme just word vomit a bit sksksk

Cw: chubby fem reader, fluff, smut, some body insecurity talk

Oh boy oh boy oh boy

Sweet sweet Nanami

Aka the biggest fucking simp for chubby ppl sksksk

Just so weak when it comes to his cute chubby darling

He's never seen someone as lovely as you and he doesn't think he'll see anyone lovelier

You are literally a goddess in his eyes and can do no wrong

The people around Nanami are honestly concerned at first that you're taking advantage of the overworked man bc they've never seen him bend over backwards for someone

But of course they get to know you and realize that you're wonderful and they're glad that you're such a good influence on him 😊

No but fr you've changed this man for the better

Before meeting you, he would work overtime more often just bc he didn't have any commitments or responsibilities besides his job so it's not the end of the world if he stays over an hour or so to do paperwork

But that all comes to an end once he meets you

The reason Nanami absolutely despises overtime is bc he wants to go back home to you as soon as possible

He wants to get back to you and hold you close and snuggle and kiss and just relax with his baby 🥺

Such an affectionate man jesus christ

He's a very reserved man so he doesn't express himself through words, he does it with actions

He doesn't know how to tell you he loves you with words tbh

So be prepared for lots of acts of service and physical touch and gift giving skskks

Im talking homemade meals, buying you anything that you show the slightest interest in, cuddling up to you whenever he can—

NO BUT HE LITERALLY HAS HIS HANDS ON YOU ALL THE TIME

I think i mentioned in my last ask that he's very handsy in general

BUT TBH??? YOUR BODY IS SO TEMPTING THAT HE CAN'T HELP BUT GET THE URGE TO TOUCH EVERY INCH OF YOU IN PRIVATE

Literally everything looks good on you

He sees you walk into the room and he's breathless every 👏 single 👏 time 👏

Sundress?? Adorable, delicious, angelic

Lingerie? Seductive, exquisite, mouthwatering

Shit, this guy could get hard from seeing you in a baggy sweatshirt and sweatpants

Just an absolute heathen when it comes to you

His favorite outfit on you tho is an oversized t-shirt (a very soft cotton one that Nanami bought special bc he wanted you to steal his clothes and wear them 🥺💕), boxer briefs (also something he bought and wore a couple times just so u could steal it) and THIGH HIGH SOCKS

You just look hnnnnnnggggg SO GOOD IN THAT KIND OF OUTFIT god he's such a whore for you sksksksk

He loves how the shirt hangs off your soft shoulders, your neck on display for him, how the briefs ride up your thighs and hug them deliciously, making your ass look FANTASTIC, jesus don't even get him started on the socks—

The first time he saw you in that outfit was after he came home after a long and grueling workday

The minute he walked into the living room and saw you draped over the couch in that innocently seductive outfit, lying on your stomach, your ass shaped perfectly, looking over your shoulder at him, giving him that sweet smile of yours?

Bby all restraint flew out the window sksksk

He fucked you over the couch for the entire night I'm not fucking kidding like he was railing you for hours, it was one of the best nights of his life and he remembers it fondly

Nah fr thigh high socks, stockings, pantyhose, etc are his KRYPTONITE

The way they squeeze your supple thighs has him drooling like a goddamn mutt jesus he's so weak for you it's not even funny

He just wants to grab a handful of each thigh and squeeze, leaving bruises while he eats your pretty chubby pussy until you cry 💕

Absolutely obsessed with the way clothing hugs your body

He would never tell you what to wear bc he wants you to wear clothing that makes you comfortable, but he won't deny that he fucking loves when you wear tight-fitted outfits

He loves seeing the way your tits and arms and belly and thighs squish against the material, on the verge of bursting through the fabric of your dress/shirt/pants/etc

Oh lord it makes him so hard

Anything with elastic bands that squeeze your body have him sweating like he just imagines his hands there instead and how soft you would feel and how you would moan and suddenly he's dragging you home to fuck you sksksk

Ok but do you wanna know the outfit that makes him feel like a goddamn king?? The outfit that has him convinced that you're a literal goddess that came down from the heavens to bless him with your presence??

This robe (any color you like) with a matching chemise (something simple, with a lace trim)

It is, without a doubt, the most enticing outfit you could ever wear

You got it for your first anniversary (with your OWN MONEY, which Nanami rarely let's you do, but you kept it a surprise so he wouldn't know)

He found you in the bedroom wearing that and he gasped, putting his hand over his heart like mans thought he had died and gone to heaven istg

Lowkey if you ever need to convince Ken to do something, just walk around the house in this fit and you'll sway his thinking in 5 minutes tops skskks

He sees that robe swish out of the corner of his eye and he's already semi hard

You just look so elegant and gorgeous and delicate and sexy jesus christ how do you look so good???

This outfit truly makes Kento feel blessed 💕

How did he get so lucky as to find a curvaceous beauty like you?

Nanami will gladly crawl to you on his knees and kiss your feet when he sees you wearing this

You are truly perfect in his eyes and he will dedicate the rest of his life worshipping you if that's what you wish

SPEAKING OF WORSHIPPING

Our sweet Nanami Kento is the KING of body worship

He just loves running his hands all over your plush body, kissing and squeezing every inch of you, reminding you how incredible you are

If you are ever insecure about a part of your body, you won't be after fucking Nanami sksksk

If he ever learns about your body insecurities, he will hyperfixate on that body part and lavish you with attention

Dont like your stretchmarks? He'll lick ever stripe along your skin until you admit that they're stunning

Not a fan of your pudgy bits? He's going to squeeze those parts more often, hands lingering, lips trailing along your plush flesh as he kisses your chubby flesh

Don't like how your tummy pokes out? Baby, what are you even worried about, he's a foodie so of course he's gonna love your muffin top sksksk

Look hun, idk what to tell you!! He's just so in love with you and he thinks you're the most gorgeous woman on the planet and all he wants is to wife you up and treat you like a queen for the rest of your lives

Ok lemme take a break from the smut and talk fluff skskks

He's such a cuddlebug :3

AND YOU'RE HIS PERFECT LITTLE TEDDY BEAR 🥺💕

You're soft and squishy and warm and he loves holding you 💕

Prefers having you draped over him when you cuddle bc he likes how your body feels on top of him

Like the weight is lowkey comforting and soothing

This is super embarrassing for him to admit but if the two of you have to spend time apart for a few days, he has to put a weighted blanket on his chest so he can fall asleep

He's just so used to his precious chubby baby laying on him each night that he can't sleep without your body on his 🥺

Lowkey puts his weighted blanket in the dryer for a bit so it feels more like a person and tricks his body into thinking you're there with him

He gets so grumpy when he can't cuddle you

Like if he comes home after a long work day and you're not there for some reason, he gets so upset

Literally POUTS. Like a goddamn CHILD

Wont stop pouting until you get home and straddle his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck and snuggling close

Even then it'll take at least an hour of cuddling before he's happy again jesus fucking christ, he's a child a literal baby you're dating a fucking 5 year old—

Nanami will never admit this out loud (bc he thinks he'll sound creepy), but he loves watching you eat

He tries not to stare when his home cooked meals slip past your lips and into your mouth, but he cant help but watch

You're his baby? And you like food, his food?? You're all his forever and ever?

He's such a fuckin sap yall sksksk

Ok but speaking of food: this man is dying to taste your cooking

You could be the worst cook in the world but he will gobble up your meal and go for seconds and thirds

Why?? Bc you're his darling dearest, his big and beautiful girl and he'll be damned if he doesn't get to eat the love of his life's cooking

He doesn't mind cooking alone, but he prefers when you help him

He appreciates the help and having a pretty chubby beauty at his beck and call isn't so bad either

If you come up behind him while he's cooking, wrap your arms around his body and rest your face against his back, he will melt

He has to pause whatever he's doing to turn around and hug and kiss you

"Have I ever told you how wonderful you are, darling?"

"You told me that an hour ago, Ken."

"Well, I'm telling you again because it's true and you should know."

Favorite thing to do is cup your chubby cheeks and squish your face before he leans in for a kiss jesus he's such a goober

Ok so Nanami has been theorizing why he loves your body type more than others bc he doesn't know when this started

He's got a lot of guesses

Obviously, you're super soft and warm and delightful, but that's not all of it

He thinks that when he looks at you, his brain goes "they're big ➡️ they eat more than other people ➡️ they are well fed and love food"

Now, in reality those thoughts may not be true, but his little monkey brain goes through that process the first time he meets you

Tbh he cant explain it, he just sees you and thinks you love food as much as him and that makes him so happy bc he can actually see that you love food

Like its not like you're skinny and everyone thinks you eat salads and workout all the time but really you eat junk food and are lazy

No it's the fact that your size tells ppl "hey, I'm a big girl, i like food and im not afraid to show it, and at the end of the day im perfect and your opinion means jack shit to me"

And he loves that

He wants you to unabashedly say that you love food and tell the world to fuck off bc that's how he feels

Like we all know he's a foodie and he just wants someone to share his love of food with somebody, and having a partner that doesn't let their weight stop them from enjoying themselves and eating food they like??

It makes him overjoyed

He also likes your body bc you seem sturdier than other women

He has nothing against thin women, not by a long shot, but he sees their thin wrists and their thigh gaps and their collarbones and all he can think is "if i touch this girl she may very well break in half"

You, on the other hand, are plush and cushioned and give him plenty to grab and he doesn't have to hold back his strength when he interacts with you

Like the first time yall had sex he went super gentle at first bc he was still worried about hurting you

He legit thought that it would be too much for you even if he held back his strength

But then you begged him to fuck you harder and he realized that he can relax with you and be who he naturally is like he doesn't have to stifle parts of himself to accommodate you and that's v comforting to him

He always feels guilty when your body is sore and you're covered in dark marks, but he's more satisfied than anything

Like seriously this dude fucked you so hard that the neighbors down the hall could hear your headboard hitting the wall, and yet you still smiled at him afterwards and opened your legs for round two

He's able to let loose with you which he's never really been able to do before and he's very grateful that you let him unwind like that

He likes picking you up and having your limbs wrap around him and being able to hold onto your thighs and ass as he keeps you up

It's v normal for him to come home and hold his arms out for you, waiting for you to come to him and jump so he can hold onto you

You were nervous to do it at first but this guy could lift a car if he really wanted to so dont even sweat it babe, you are NOT too heavy for him

Whenever you talk about being insecure about your body, his face screws up and he just looks so appalled that you would ever see yourself as anything but perfect

He legitimately does not understand that you could be insecure about your body bc he would gladly live between your thighs if thats what you really wanted so what are you even concerned about???

Doesn't really like PDA in public but sometimes he can't help but palm your ass for a second before his arm goes around your waist its your fault for looking so good in those jeans 🙄

He's obsessed with kissing you

Doesn't have to lead to anything more! He just loves those plump soft lips against his as his hands smooth over your plush frame

He would do anything to feel those lips on other parts of his body (his cheek, his neck, his chest, his thighs, his co—)

Tl;dr Nanami Kento is the biggest simp on the planet for his pretty chubby girlfriend/soon to be wife 💕

[astrologgeek]

⚠️ I do not give any permission to anyone reading this post to re-post my content nor plagiarize it. This content belongs to me and myself only @astrologgeek ⚠️

My ✨astro✨ notes

Part 1.

This is my first post on tumblr, I've been learning astrology for over a year now - and I have finally succeeded and wrote my own personal astrology notes! ⚠️these are my own personal observations and notes, which means that whatever I'm saying here isn't 100% astrology accurate & approved by any professional astrologer⚠️ hope you enjoy I guess <3 (BTW: if anyone wants to repost or anything pls tag me, and don't steal pls!! I've worked so hard on these.)

• Taurus risings have 2 types of luaghter: crying-like laugh because of their 3rd house cancer or a smirky / deep-like laugh because of their capricorn 9th house. As a taurus rising I approve this message.

• speaking of taurus risings: gemini 2nd house ppl may joke a lot about their self worth. They also have a very big vocal range - whether they can sing or not, they can be great at dubbing.

• Neptune in the 2nd house have dreamy voices / amazing singing abilities or they may sound like a someone that does drugs / smoke / just high.

• having your mars in the 10th house can indicate a modeling career, especially if your MC is in good aspects with your ASC.

• virgo 9th house people have the most provocative sense of humor, they are also a "know-it-all". Yet, they are extremely loyal, so passionate and devoted to their duties.

• whichever house your pluto is in explains your deepest fears and where there is true chaos in your life (I'll make a post about it!)

• having your pluto in libra - as pluto being the planet of our generations - means that these people have always tried to fit into norms and into society, to not stand out, to be the most basic they can try. I believe that if they had a catchfraze it would be: "fake it 'till you make it".

• whatever house you have libra in is an area in your life that tries to fit in norms / society / normality (libra 11th house: have friends that are normal & basic / you try to to fit in society to make friends)

• aries rising's facial expressions are IMMACULATE (aries rules the face, so it's fitting that their face and facial expression will be very dominant)

• if your lilith conjuncts your saturn then solving the dark and hidden parts of you will help your career life grow and evolve as well.

• Mars-neptune aspects makes your anger blurry - like you don't know when your angry or how to feel / express your anger. Bonus points if the moon has contact with mars.

• There are 2 houses that rule the feeling of not belonging: the 11th house (not belonging because ur special, unique, weird, not normal) and the 12th house (not belonging because of your lonely energy, your blurry energy that makes you feel drifted from everyone automatically)

• Parent & children 🤝 not understanding each other's generation. Why, you may ask? Most if the time the age gap between children & their parents is 25 - 40 years, now if pluto is changing it's sign every 12 (mostly) - 31 years it means that the gap of the signs is creating a square! Example: gen z (pluto in sag) & boomers and karens (pluto in virgo), yet gen z (pluto in sag) & gen of pluto in leo (our grandparents) are creating a trine aspect (good relationship between generations).

• Capricorn stelliums are the most impatient people ever, time just moves with their own schedule and they are the ones that are always perfectly in time. Why? Saturn, which is ruled by capricorn: is ruling time.

• 12th house placements in general but especially 12th house NN & chiron 10th house people have a hero complex, that we must help everyone and save everyone. It's because the 12th house is about selflessness and empathy.

• Sagittarius rising feel so intimate and private, like no one really knows them - because of their 12th house scorpio, which makes their intimate side hidden, and makes them a mystery.

• Your 7th house sign is also the sign you have celebrity-crushes & obsessions on.

• You can know leo's even without them having a sun, moon or rising in leo. They are just SO noticeable! Their energy is just IMMACULATE

• I think that 12th house people are very intersted in prisons, mental hospitals, illusions and parties actually! Now all of them are understood because of our natural will to search for the unkown and the mystery and the unrealistic stuff in our lives, stuff that makes your soul change.

But why parties? Parties may be a place filled with people and noise which 12th house ppl won't like but the thing is parties are a fun illusion, with the lights changing all the time and the music that makes our body adapt to an entirely different environment because of it - it makes u very much aware of everything within the noise and loudness and madness.

• Talking about parties and 12th house people - I have noticed that they have 2 options of how they act:

1. They sit in the corner and analyze literally anything or just drown in their own thoughts or distract themselves from "all of the eyes looking at them".

2. They try to dance and get involve in the party but they're or getting to carried away and then feel embarrassed af and isolate themselves or immediately regrets it and goes to isolate themselves.

• 10th house transits for ppl who haven't graduated high school / university yet will be manifesting in their school life because it's where you're "supposed" to find your career path.

• In my opinion, the co-ruler of fun (which is ruled by leo) is sagittarius. Why? Leo rules entertainment and sagittarius is the ruler of jupiter, which resembles happiness, optimism (, expansion, growth) which is like the soul purpose of fun and entertainment.

• Even tho communication and the social media are a mercury - thing, I actually think that specific parts have 2 or even 3 rulers. For example: articles are ruled by gemini, virgo and aquarius (gemini to represent the creativeness and flowing speech in the article (also gossip if included), virgo to represent the order and wording of the article and how it's represented and brought to the readers and aquarius is for the fact that articles always talk about new, innovative or unusual things that are happening currently [little bit of cap right here lol] in the world, which also bring awareness (def an aqua theme).

• As the 8th house representing secrets, intimacy and shared resources - it must mean that people with this stellium or placements LOVE gossip. gossip is the combination of shared resources (media - which related to my last note - so gossip pages are gemini scorpio thing), intimacy and secrets.

• I have a theory - vehicles, as all materials and machines - are ruled by earth signs, so here are each vehicles rulers in my opinion:

virgo rules the air-vehicles (plains, helicopters etc.) Because that's a mutable sign that's adaptable of change the most out of every earth sign, and because the sky is so unpredictable and there's infinite courses of ways to reach ur destination - virgo fits the most to it.

capricorn rules the sea-vehicles (ships, boats, submarines etc.) Because that's a cardinal sign, an initiator that doesn't wait for things to happen, but makes sure every sudden change has a stable solution, also the sea is such an exotic place - fitting for a Capricorn's rich taste in views and life. Other than that, water may be unpredictable as well, but less than the open air and sky. Capricorns are the sea goats for a reason ;)

And last but not least - taurus rules the earth-vehicles. As The most stable, grounded, stubborn & down to earth sign it's kind of fitting for the vehicles that moves through the earth to have taurus as it's ruler. As cars, motorcycles etc. Have roads, so does taurians have their own, only path. They depend on the only thing they trust and any sudden change will make chaos. It's also the most comfortable - the thing taurians are craving for most.

I HOPE U ENJOYED my astro-notes :) I'll def try to keep them coming lmao if y'all would want to. Hope y'all Have a nice day 💕

[kendrixtermina]

I think Wilhelm was a False Friend to Rhea. He played the part of the supportive friend to her face to get her help in overthrowing Nemesis and becoming the ruler of Fódlan, but privately saw her as just a monster. He wanted to get rid of her himself, but never got the opportunity during his lifetime. The royal family being taught a version of history that blames everything on the Nabateans came from his view on them, even though he got all the political power from the war.

There is no way to know what actually happened, so a lot of things are plausible/possible, but from that one line that Rhea gets describing him in the tailteen plains battle it sounds like he was a true believer much like Catherine or pre-fiasco Jeralt. For Rhea to fondly remember a human she met so shortly after the massacre they must've been on good terms.

She could've been fooled of course & despite her not trusting anyone(her own words) she's plainly not good at playing detective seeing as she missed all the moles at Garreg Magh, so it's not implausible.

But Rhea's the only one who knew the real Wilhelm in his own time. His descendants would only have stories that they'd be interpreting through their own lens; If you see the need to explain a discrepancy there it seems more likely to find the explanation in the 1000 years in between, where any number of things could happen.

The change in perspective could have literally happened any time between Wilhelm's time & Ionius. If you want to postulate a drastic reinterpretation, The expulsion of the sourthern church 100 years before seems a more likely candidate.

However the Nabateans were a ruling class before Nemesis' (that was unambiguously stated by the devs in an interview) massacre.

However, once we move from Wilhem's own person to how whatever he did or didn't pass on might affect his descendants in the present, I'd like to remind you that Edelgard combed through the monastery archieves in search of additional evidence before declaring anything to Byleth, looking to corroborate the story, and that she takes a pretty dim view of her ancestors, seeing them as sellouts.

She is not at all just following what she may or may not have heard.

And do you even need to be told some tale to come to the conclusion that Rhea is a bad ruler? Is it not obvious from her behavior?

I really hate this tendency to take all the agency away from Edelgard & act like she is just following something someone told her - she is portrayed by the actual game as someone who is all about self-directedness & proactivity, humanism and logic, who, if anything errs on the side of being too logical & detached/looking only at the numbers. She gets like all the tropey spock dialogue like "Mathematically it's possible"

...and yet some ppl seem incapable of seeing her as anything else than misguided & lashing out blindly, & the way it so crassly contradicts her actual in-game characterization so blatantly is hard to explain by anything than the common prejudices that 'young people can't know what they're talking about' and 'women lash out emotionally'/ 'women are reacting victims'

I honestly hate it more than the ppl who just see her as deliberately evil/megalomanic cause at least that still acknowledges her as making decisions.

People don't just have opinions because somebody tells them to have them - how would new opinions ever get started this way?

You can see that Rhea is, if not a tyrant, then at least a grossly negligent incompetent ruler just by playing White Clouds with open eyes and ears.

& it's not just Edelgard who thinks that.

Rhea herself says she is the de-facto ruler ("I have only been ruling this wayward land in your stead")

Claude blames the church for the state of fodlan, he just takes it over via intrigue & manipulation cause that is what makes sense for his skillset, principles and the alliance's political situation.

In White Clouds alone you put down several rebellions. Rhea's regime is just objectively inefficient & unpopular; Edelgard is just a rebel who happens to have a lot of funds and soldiers at her disposal; It was kind of inevitable that one would eventually arise with such widespread levels of dissatisfaction.

& if we want to talk about who she blames most of her rhetorical vitriol is on the human collaborators, the nobles.

But she's not really driven by "blame" or "hate" - to the point where she'll consider an alliance of convenience with her most hated enemies (delaying/suppressing her feelings rather than indulgently following them) & is usually content with just jailing or dethroning even her worst enemies.

Which isn't to say that Edelgard is always perfectly rational or never affected by her negative experiences - this shows in her secretiveness for example or her categorical refusal to be captured alive; But that doesn't mean she's completely incapable of making any logical decision whatsover.

Perfect objectivity is no more achievable than, say, perfect love or perfect justice, but that doesn't mean that anyone who genuinely tries hard to pursue it in a self-aware manner is instantly a hypocrite the moment they don't 100% live up to it.

You can certainly fault anyone who just claims they have it all figured out & can never be questioned, but that's not at all what Edelgard does - all her supports show her as someone who questions herself a lot & is always willing to learn from others & this is honestly one of my favorite traits of hers.

[intersexfairy]

so like I dont know WHO to ask but recently I've been havin a crisis over possibly bein intersex. I'm not gonna detail all my exact experiences out in an ask because If I were to, I'd rather do so in a one on one conversation as its personal and gets into some uncomfortable talk.. such as regardin my own personal set of genitals... but a key thing thats been botherin me is that. every intersex person Ive ever met or seen n such has always had a definin medical proof, a definin experience of havin it directly there and unquestionable due to their medical experiences. while I am disabled beyond belief, I am kind of actively denied access to the doctor without a lot of fightin and possibly dangerous to me livin symptoms n proof of "needin" a doctor. I also have trauma and would probably get more trauma if I let someone else near my genitals even if things I know down there could be "concernin" for "abnormalities". most of what makes me question bein intersex (minus whatever is goin on Down There) is that socially, despite my agab, its like everyone I meet spins a wheel on how to perceive my gender. I literally didn't use the locker rooms for gym n changed in a private one. I can convince easily someone that I am cis male or cis female dependin on my mood. and overall feelin alienation from supposedly my agab and not in a gender way, but in a body way. Im transneutral and even other transneutral ppl who are perisex I find it hard to relate to their stories 100% and it feels like a mix between amab n afab I relate to but neither 100% on their dysphoria or their bein perceieved by society or anything. I literally get both masculine and feminine dysphoria from my own body? I also have a lot of experiences I "shouldnt" for my agab... I feel alienated from bein perisex due to this but Im also scared and feel like Im fakin to be intersex because I have no medicial experience or "proof" in that regard. and I don't know what to do because doctors arent an option but theres also the fear of bein wrong because it feels like bein intersex is the only explaination for what Ive experienced. help????

You don't need a doctor to sign off on whether or not you're intersex. You don't need a diagnosis. There are plenty of intersex folks out there without one, and some of the ones that do have one, their diagnoses are faulty or incorrect.

We don't exclude people for not having a diagnosis - at least, most of us dont IME, and those that do are normally very problematic otherwise so their opinion doesn't matter, since it's informed by bad things.

Intersexness isn't about what the medical establishment says about us. They are our oppressors, and to say that you need a medical diagnosis to be intersex would go against everything we're fighting for. It puts power in their hands, and pathologizes intersexness, which is the opposite of what we're going for. People not already diagnosed in childhood may pursue diagnoses to know more about their body, to get some kind of answer as to why they're different, or to have that groundwork to build on for if they plan to transition (which, for intersex people, transitioning physically can occur whether your cis, trans, etc.)

I don't feel comfortable having conversations with strangers about genitalia, however I can tell you that intersexness, to the non-medicalists of us, is primarily about experiences, internal and external - with ourselves, others, and our bodies.

What you've described here is an experience common to many of us. Alienation from your agab, alienation from cisness and transness at the same time, avoiding places like locker rooms, passing as cis male/female circumstantially, etc.

If it helps you feel better, not only do I relate to what you've said about your experience - I dont have a proper diagnosis either. I'm diagnosed with PCOS (which, for some people, is an intersex variation), but the doctor who diagnosed me with that did bloodwork which he never explained to me, told me "You could have PCOS, Cushings," paused uncomfortably, and then said "Something else. So, I'm diagnosing you with PCOS since that's what your mom has."

And that's the thing with diagnosis too - a lot of us get misdiagnosed with things like PCOS and can't receive a proper diagnosis because getting a doctor to admit you're intersex can be difficult. Because they dont want us to exist, and if they can pass us off as perisex and convince us to take hormones and change our bodies with a different diagnosis, they will.

So, yeah. I don't know my variation, outside the guess that I am hyperandrogenic XX. I'm disabled too, and have my access to medical care restricted. So I get it, I really do.

I used to feel invalid, like an intruder, but the more I listened to the experiences of other intersex people, especially those with similar experiences and bodies to mine, I accepted my intersexness in spite of medicalism.

I can't tell you whether you're intersex or not ofc, but you know who can? You! Keep exploring. Keep learning. Keep looking into yourself. Keep talking to intersex people or reading about us. In time, if you're intersex.. You'll know based off that.

P.S: I'm transneutral too! Also transmasc, but still. Figured I'd mention.

[yaboylevi]

Hi! Genuine question, but don't u think Levi had all the right to be brutally violent in chapter 114 when Zeke had just turned his comrades into mindless titans? (Like I understand your frustration towards him and I honestly have felt the same at times, but i feel like when it comes to Zeke (my bais speaking here), Levi has all the reasons to be violent, ppl like to excuse Zeke's behaviour as coping mechanism but i feel like the two men are equally terrible when it comes to resolving issues)

I see where you’re coming from. And honestly, it’s fine if you believe the two are comparable.

I personally disagree. Levi had an arc about that and was constantly faced with how wrong his choices to resort to violence were, multiple times. He did, in fact, go through growth. Yet he doesn’t learn, it’s like he literally doesn’t understand. And I don’t know if it’s another of his character flaws - this weakness, -, if it’s his “nature” or if it’s just Isayama who doesn’t want to give him this growth he needs. Furthermore, Levi hurts people he cares about with his behavior. 

Zeke’s coping mechanism - which is making light of horrible situations such as slaughter - isn’t exactly hurting the people he loves. And by the way, this happened only at the beginning of his story, which means he was being portrayed purposely as The Big Meanie, but since the Marley arc, he has never behaved particularly cruelly - he egged on Levi as a strategy by making fun of the soldiers, but in his real thoughts there was no hint of this sarcasm. As I said in another Zeke analysis, he uses sarcasm as a strategic means and to conceal his intentions. He also doesn’t use it outside of the battlefield, highlighting again how much of a war tool it is, and not a part of himself he needs to work on changing.

Levi is like that in his private life, as well…which is concerning and that’s why he needs to change or at least it needs to be viewed as something wrong. Definitely not a quirk, imo.

Zeke’s sarcasm that I mentioned earlier is very different from his anger in Shiganshina, and subsequent ridiculing of the sacrifices of the soldiers (the coping part) - we found out what that was caused by exactly in the Marley arc and especially in ch.114. Men are foolish for throwing themselves at death uselessly as they are ignorant of their situation, which means they’ll never make a change. They’ll just cause more deaths, and, iirc, he even makes a comment about throwing the children in wars as well. He is angry at that because he’s been in the same situation and is reminded of his father and everything Grisha did to him. He gets so mad but he tries to get himself under control and that’s the moment he becomes so cold, the need to belittle the enemy to detach himself and accomplish his mission.

And about Grisha…Zeke was never shown that his behavior and belief might be wrong, just like nobody really told him life was worth living. Zeke still hasn’t had his “life-changing” character arc, he’s going through it now. Levi has no excuses, tbh. He met with Kenny and had a talk with him, that should’ve made him realize some things and overcome others. He relied so much on violence because of Kenny, in more ways than just being trained by him.

As someone who tries to look at the characters from a distance, when I analyze them, and their stories as a whole, I just can’t see how are they the same on this. 

And I feel like your example missed the mark of my other Levi post.

First of all, I agree that Levi can be extremely angry at Zeke. Nonetheless, that display of violence was sickening. Pass the verbal degradation and threats. Pass the spear and the injuries to prevent Zeke from transforming again. 

But he didn’t have to cut Zeke’s legs like that. That was pure, unadulterated, self-satisfactory sadism. It was horrible to watch. I’ve never seen a character sinking to such a low level aside from Zackley using the shit-machine and Gross in general. Levi’s grudge is personal and justified, but that’s even more gross to me. The highlight of the freaking arc was Mister Braus forgiving the murderer of his daughter and I have no doubts it had nothing to do with Gabi being a kid. So seeing Levi falling so low…well. It is disheartening. 

People just excuse it as “he has a right to be angry and so, this violent with Zeke” because they themselves are angry at Zeke for…personal reasons lol, and because it is Levi we’re talking about, and as I said Levi does have a right to it, but one thing is being angry at someone and one thing is torturing them. Did he come out of that awful display as a better person? Do you think he felt better after that? Is seeing your fave getting absolutely sadist so cute and fulfilling? I don’t know…

If Eren had tortured like that Reiner, oh man. He too could have "the right" to it.

Anyway, I don’t want to sound rude, this is just my opinion, but it honestly worries me a bit that you might think “being brutally violent” with someone is a “right”. We’re back to an eye for an eye, I guess…

[gynoidwren]

do you identify as an autogynephile? genuine question. what that is to being trans is confusing for me. Angry denials some places, claims it doesn't exist, and anyone who says so should die... but then widespread agreement that it is a big part of transgirl's/women's life and celebration in other trans spaces. as for myself, I don't know.

If this is b/c of my blog title, that’s a joke, obvs. Chloe was talking about how I have a kind of fetishy thing for weird goth girls even though I also am one myself, and I joked that I’m an “autogothephile.”

But no, I mean, it’s not a real thing at all. Or rather, it is a specifically cruel and calculated way to separate trans people from their identity. This is changing recently but for so long p. much the only place trans women were culturally visible or acknowledged at all was in porn, and even now I think that’s probably the most prominent position we have and one of the most acceptable ways to view us (in part b/c it’s private, I’m sure, and there’s a sense that what you think about when you get off doesn’t have to connect to the rest of your life). Literally the first time I ever saw someone like me was them getting fucked in the ass. So of course for a lot of people our first sense of connection to that is via our sexuality. And particularly because of the extreme way that all women are sexually objectified in our culture it’s like v. easy to fixate on that when you feel connected to womanhood in a way you don’t yet understand. It’s hard to say you want to be a girl and at least marginally easier to say you want to get fucked like a girl. Most ways of being like a girl, being feminine in any way, are inherently sexualized, too. Autogynephilia is the medical gatekeeping arm of this idea, trying to say that if your sexuality is rooted in thinking about yourself as a girl that’s just a weird fetish that makes you a freak and not a real woman.

And so, yeah, it absolutely is a huge part of most trans women’s experiences, at least of my generation. It was a wall that a lot of us had to bump up against in the process of coming out, trying to ask ourselves if we really wanted to be or felt ourselves to be women or if it was just a sex thing. And you had to interrogate this about yourself because the only way to get hormones, and certainly the only way to get support and understanding from cis people was to articulate a v. specific kind of personal identity and narrative, usually specifically differentiating it from this. Even if you thought you might be trans, there was this blurred line that being trans in itself was kind of thought to be a sex thing by most people. And so a lot of this leads to the exact conclusion I read on a trans website when I was coming out, which is that you should only ever transition if you think you’ll kill yourself if you don’t. Which is, like…completely horrifying and terrible advice, but it was advice I followed. So most trans women my age have this specific experience of thinking about being a girl and masturbating, trying to hide it, dismissing it even as you start to realize it has this greater emotional impact on you.

And yeah, I think a lot of trans women are trying to reclaim or destigmatize this in our culture. They spend time talking about the trauma-rooted weirdness of their sexuality and the psychological contortions they went through being an egg, exactly because these are things that would be used to delegitimize their identity if they ever admitted to them, even though they’re things almost all of us did because that was the only expression of transness we had access to at the time.

So, like, I guess I kind of would identify that way in a joking sense? I mean, I had a girl’s sexuality even as a boy, centred around seeing myself as a girl. But like…that’s because I was one. So really we’re all autogynephiles (insert Dawkins t-shirt).

I don’t know. I’m sure that’s rambling and stupid and I know other ppl have explained it a lot better than me. But it’s just a weird outdated technical term used by transmisogynists to keep trans women in the closet, basically, so we all like to joke about it. I don’t know why you’re asking me this, of all people.

I guess if you’re asking because you’re asking yourself if you are one, I’d just say like, look: you’re trans. If you’re asking yourself that question you’re trans. But like, I can’t tell you what to do about that, that’s a more complicated question and I don’t know even know who you are, so…

[bigbeautifulcartoonpeople]

These are some conversation I've had with several people in discord:

1) Other Person: Idk if this is an unpopular opinion, but find myself being more anti harassment then anti anti. Like im proship but I also think that people, when they tag correctly, should be allowed to talk about why they don't like a character, a peice of media or a ship... I think that also ties in to WHY im proship. People should do what they want but I don't want to see anti xyz or even a tonne of ship stuff in the main tags.

Me: Tbh same, that was actually the way of the internet before all this proship and antiship and anti-antiship shit started. Literally people liked what they liked, criticized what they didn't and moved the fuck on. The people who demonized, shunned, suicide bated, etc. other people in fandom were the people looked down upon and excluded from fandom. Now it's just okay to hurl death threats and the like over literally 2-D pictures, characters and even stories willy-fucking-nilly. Like seriously, I don't think a lot of people have even looked at a library otherwise they would start trying to burn them down because they lack such common sense and awareness over the fact that fiction is QUITE LITERALLY not reality. Consuming it doesn't make you IT, but the sad thing is is that this isn't even a new way of thinking, it's only newly been on the internet and is now spreading like a cancer/wildfire.

Purity culture has always been a thing due to Catholicism and Christianity and the like, claiming video games cause kids to be violent, even further back, metal music made kids devil-worshipers and violent, even further back, IT the book made people murderers and that Stephen King(the author) is a murderer himself! Hell, the ideology is still standing strong with conservatives believing that if their kid consumes queer media that will somehow magically make them queer and that's just not how that works. If you go into media thinking murder, incest, etc. is okay irl beforehand, nothing is going to change about that except figuring out you are okay with it irl and not just on paper/screen. Same with queer kids, they were already queer or questioning before they consumed the queer media, they're just figuring out what the words are or what it looks like now that they've consumed it and can now define themselves.

I'm genuinely growing more and more concerned that people really do believe that fictional characters are real. Like, if they just believe hard enough it makes it so, and that because they think that the fictional characters are real anyone who'd want to hurt them, sexualize them, put them in harm's way, etc. are awful people cause they believe you would do that to real people and, to them, that fictional character is real.

It's so fucking concerning because I am becoming more and more aligned in the belief that people shouldn't be handed the internet until a certain age cause technology and screens and the wide wide web are rotting kids' brains, holy fuck

2) Just casual discussion:

Me: Antis are ruining fandom space and it ain't even our fault, wtf

Person 1: creating unnecessary drama too! they...outed...a 12y old...sexual fantasies from a PRIVATE conversation

Person 2: These guys need to realize they're not the fucking police it's none of their business what other people do online unless it's ACTUALLY illegal

Person 1 in Response to: they...outed...a 12y old...sexual fantasies:

that was some years ago, and i didn't know proship and anti discourse

for ppl that love to say legality isn't morality, they sure love to bring up the law "it's illegal!!"

"no it isn't, [proof]"

"legality isn't morality"

Me: I'm seriously starting to think the majority of antis are minors, like kid/tween minors, cause the lack of reasoning skills, inability to tell fiction from reality, and basically little sociopaths sound both like antis and children and that's starting to make me super fucking uncomfortable. Cause there are so many parents who will hand their kid an ipad or even a whole ass phone at like 4 or 5 and then they're left to their own devices (pun not intended) and expected to figure the wide wide web out on their own...like, THEYRE FUCKING CHILDREN, we are A) not responsible for parenting your random ass child in place of you, B) expecting adults to interact with is adults and will reply and interact as such.

And so we've got LITERAL CHILDREN with no moral compass established being told that x, y, and z people are the worst possible people to ever exist ever.... Kids already take everything to the extremes, and that shit is only gonna make everything worse for us and everybody else just trying to enjoy fandom

Person 1 in Response to: I'm seriously starting to think the majority of antis are minors, like kid/tween minors, cause the lack of reasoning:

yea, kids usually see black and white

they don't notice the grey also cause they're easily convinced, and when they're convinced, they're gonna keep insisting

Me: Like, for example, I was watching a Jacksepticeye vid yesterday and he was looking at reviews of him on this website and read a review of a literally EIGHT YEAR OLD who said that they had been watching him since they were a toddler and jack was shocked....I WOULD BE TOO, like who just hands their kid the internet and say "salavi, go be kids, go have fun", like NO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING????? At the very least try to curate your child's experience or reach on the net until they're about 13 or so, like I promise shitting out a kid is not the only step to being a parent, I promise you

Person 1 in Response to: Like, for example, I was watching a Jacksepticeye vid yesterday and he was looking at reviews of:

since....they were...a TODDLER??

Me: Yep, and the kid didn't even see anything wrong with it, seriously, somebody needs to start trying to be parents and it shouldn't be the people who didn't ask to be, aka random adults on the net

I'm starting to find evidence on twitter of antis encouraging each other to shun friends and family for not being one of them and I am deeply concerned. This is some cult shit.

"should I shun my friend for being proship even though they're my only irl friend?"

"Should I shun my mother for being proship?"

The answer to both of these is GET HELP. You are being brainwashed into thinking that your friends and family are dangerous when you know that they wouldn't hurt anyone. See a therapist, take some time off the internet, reevaluate your situation. Fiction does not take precedence over your loved ones.

I'm tagging this with "antis please interact" because I think they need to see this too, and hopefully it helps someone. Your loved ones are not dangerous because of their taste in fiction.