#If i looked directly at the game again I would probably feel exactly the same.

[loveletterworm]

this will sound really pretentious but i remember like right after i played sh2 i got into a weird situation where i just kind of straight up hated reading anything anyone said about it online, because i felt like everyone was wrong about it except for me, and i also wouldn't want to talk about it because i also thought that i was wrong about it as well, i just kinda had the mindset that it was fundamentally impossible to say anything correct about that game no matter who you were or how hard you tried so i would just sit there thinking "Everyone is so wrong about this including me" which was kind of silly because it's a very noncommittal sounding opinion that i was somehow holding very strongly. It was on the PlayStation 2

[nicka-nell]

How they act when they have a crush on you

Pairing: Atsumu x, Suna x, Kuroo x, Ushijima x, Daichi x, Hinata x, Iwaizumi x, Oikawa x reader

Warning: fluff, mdni

Part 1 | Part 2 (end)

A total bully. Constantly in teasing mode.

Whether it’s in class and he throws little paper balls at your head, pulls your hair while you’re tying your shoes in the gym, or “borrows” your homework to copy it and give you your notebook back with a scrabbly drawing next to your exercises.

Atsumu takes every free opportunity to pick on you, thinking that you take it as a form of pleasant affection.

You’re chatting with some friends in sports class when you get hit in the back of the head with a ball. It wasn’t a powerful throw. In fact, you barely felt it, but you know immediately who the ball came from when you turn around with a grim expression and see the wide-grinning blond Miya brother running towards you. “Sorry sweetheart. But ya were standing in my throwing lane.” he grins and picks up the ball. Oh, how you’d love to hit him in the face with the ball.

After school you just want to go home, the umbrella is already open as it is pouring like hell, when you feel two strong hands snatching the umbrella from your hands. “Hey sweetheart, I’m sure ya won’t have a problem if I borrow the umbrella, will ya?” Atsumu smirks at you again, already holding the umbrella in his hands so that he doesn’t get wet. You’re next to him, but half your body still gets wet as you try to take the umbrella away from him. “Hey, I’m a damn superb athlete. Can’t risk it to get sick,” he complains, putting his arm around your shoulders and pulling you towards him so that you don’t get completely wet. You walk home together for quite a while until Atsumu leads in the opposite direction to his own home. With your umbrella, of course. You can prepare yourself to arrive home soaked and chilled. Awesome.

Atsumu would never think of telling you that he has a crush on you. He assumes that you already know this and that you also have feelings for him, but are too shy to tell him.

When a guy invited you out for ice cream and you agreed, Atsumu complained to Osamu. Osamu first had to make it clear to him that you two are definitely not a couple and that you certainly don’t assume that he has feelings for you, because Atsumu is also just an asshole towards you.

Atsumu interrupts you sulking while you’re eating ice cream with the guy, completely ignores this dude and tells you that you shouldn’t eat ice cream with other guys because he likes you and it annoys him when you do things with other guys who aren’t him.

Suna is probably more of a secret, very laid-back admirer who takes things rather slowly.

He doesn’t behave any differently towards you in everyday life. That’s why it’s not obvious to outsiders that he has feelings for you. Even for you.

You’re in the same circle of friends. He’s not particularly jealous when you talk to other men. Possibly also because he knows exactly what he has to offer and is convinced of himself to a healthy degree.

But after a while, you notice that he’s more interested in you. He always likes your pictures on social media. Sometimes he comments on them with emojis. A fiery heart, or a smiley looking mischievously to the side, or even a smiley with heart eyes. Sometimes he also speaks to you directly about your pictures.

Rarely does he tease you.

“Saw your picture yesterday. Looked good,” he says calmly, his legs up against the wall as he lies on his back on the bed, his head hanging off the edge of it as he looks at his phone in his hands. You’re sitting on the floor with your back against his bed, still finishing up a few things for your group work for school, when you look sideways at him. “Thank you, that was with Tsumu. We played CoD,” you answer him. “A game date?” he replies with an almost arrogant look, still scanning you from his casual position as you shake your head and roll your eyes. Suna wouldn’t admit it, but deep down, he’s glad you denied his question.

Your free classes are for learning. But sometimes you use them to just relax, chat or do nothing. While one or two of you are studying in the school's common room, you approach Suna, who is sitting on a bench with Atsumu and Osamu. Both boys are looking at Suna’s phone, who’s playing a game, when you approach him and ask curiously what he’s doing. All three boys look at you before Suna grabs your hand and casually pulls you onto his lap while resting his head on your shoulder. His hands are around your waist while his phone is in his hands in front of you. “It’s a new mobile game that came out. It’s based on a webtoon,” he answers, still focused on his phone.

Suna would probably confess his feelings to you first. However, his confession is rather spontaneous.

For example, in a store when you buy some fruit sticks on the way back home and he also pays for your stick. Outside, you tell him that he didn’t have to do that and that you can pay for it yourself, but out of the blue, he just tells you that he did it because he likes you. “So what does it matter? I did it because I like you. So bad?”

Like Atsumu, Kuroo is someone who would tease you to get your attention. But not in that childish way with paper balls in your hair.

But at the same time, Kuroo would also help you and is very attentive.

In sports class, you are currently learning the basics of basketball - how to dribble, make a lay-up and so on - before your sports teacher tells you to practice on your own for the next 30 minutes. Kuroo grins at you and throws you the ball. “Do you think you can beat me in a one-on-one?” he smirks, knowing full well that you can’t. Nevertheless, you accept his challenge, start to play and quickly lose the ball. “You need to be less stiff. Try to move with the ball. And... try to keep the ball at about waist height when you dribble,” Kuroo says as he dribbles past you to make a smooth 3-pointer. 

You’re sitting on a bench in the shadows during your break. It’s a hot summer day and you just want to get somewhere where there’s air conditioning. “You should drink more. It’s pretty hot today and you’re not an oryx antelope that can go without water for long,” says Kuroo, who suddenly stands next to you at the bench and holds out a small bottle of water.

He always acts so tough around others, but he cares about the people who are important to him.

Would he tell you that he has feelings for you? Probably not, but at some point you would notice it yourself and ask him casually. 

If you asked him about it, he’d start off by rambling and beating around the bush, but then eventually admit to having feelings for you.

Ushijima would probably behave the same way towards you as he usually does. At least that’s what he thinks.

But you can actually see him looking in your direction from time to time and subconsciously observing you.

He also subconsciously thinks of you, asking Tendou, for example, whether he could imagine that you might also like certain things.

In class, you are all already in the classroom waiting for the teacher, while you talk to Semi about the new shop next to the school and Tendou tries to tell Ushijima about the latest manga he has read. Tendou quickly realizes that Ushijima isn’t paying any attention to him, but that his gaze is instead wandering toward you and Semi. “Wakatoshi? Were you even listening to me?” Ushijima barely visibly flinches, noticing that his thoughts were somewhere else when he looks over at Tendou again. “Can you lend me the magazine? They always have such interesting promotions on the last page,” he says, completely forgotten that his attention was still on you earlier. Unlike Tendou, who purses his lips and narrows his eyes.

“Uhhh, tell me, did you watch the new K-Drama series? The one with the lawyers and the forensic scientist? Mmmh, the lawyer’s secretary is sooo cute!” Tendou chants as he walks with Ushijima towards the gym for training. “No. Do you think Y/n would like the series? She likes watching these things, doesn’t she?” Ushijima asks dryly, not realizing that he’s only thinking about you again. “Mmm, I don’t know, maybe you two should watch the series,” Tendou replies, hoping to finally get a little more out of Ushijima, but he doesn’t respond to his statement anymore.

It would take so long for Ushijima to realize that he has feelings for you. Whether he finds out on his own, because he realizes that this rapid heartbeat is not because of his “suddenly worsening condition”, or because Tendou gives him a few clues to think about his feelings for you.

However, Ushijima would tell you as soon as he recognized it for himself. But not with a bouquet of flowers and a romantic dinner.

No, he would simply ask you at the next opportunity, if you were interested in him, because he is pretty sure that his interest in you goes beyond friendship. Not caring if you were alone or around friends during his confession.

Sawamura is a little gentleman. He would show his kind of affection through small things. The typical “act of kindness”.

Whether it’s opening the door, holding your school bag while you put on your jacket, or simply walking home together, even if it means a ten-minute diversions for him.

“Ah damn...” you curse quietly as you sit in your seat in the classroom and realise that you’ve forgotten your pencil case at home. “Dai-“ you’re turning around to ask Sawamura if he can lend you a pencil only to see him holding one out to you already, with a slight smile on his face. “Thank you.” You whisper quietly and turn back to the front.

You’re on your way home after a pretty exhausting day at school. All of you stayed a little longer in the school library today to study for your final exams. So it’s already dark when you go home and you’re upset about not bringing a jacket. “Here. Next time you should remember to pack something warm. You never know when it might rain and the temperature could drop,” Sawamura says calmly, holding out the jacket he wears for volleyball training. He himself is still wearing his school uniform jacket. After all, he doesn’t want to catch a cold. You gratefully accept the sports jacket and put it over your shoulders. Sawamura wouldn’t admit it, but he wouldn’t mind if you forgot your jacket next time as well, and wore his instead, because seeing you in his way too big jacket somehow makes his heart beat faster.

Sawamura would think long and hard about whether to confess his feelings to you, because he wouldn’t want to ruin the friendship between you. But in the end, he would be the one to confess his feelings to you first, in the hope that you would return them.

Unlike Ushijima, however, he would do it at a moment that suits him. For example, when the two of you are alone, on the way home together, in a quiet and laid-back environment and a relaxed atmosphere.

Hinata is so clumsy and although he tries to hide his feelings a little bit and keep them under control, even a blind man would understand how much he has a crush on you.

As soon as you enter the room, he gets all nervous and his vocabulary suddenly shrinks so much that it feels like it only consists of 30 words.

Even if Hinata appeared nervous towards you, he would never be someone who would tease you or have a cheeky remark on his lips. Nor would he ignore you. He would also be the cheerful and friendly whirlwind towards you, just a little awkward. He would try to support you, even if it was just carrying the bench in the gym together with you.

“H-hi,” Hinata stutters and turns away, glowing red in the face, as you smile at him and greet him too. “I’ve brought water for myself,” he says with a smile and holds out a water bottle to you. You give him an irritated look, but then giggle. “For you? Yes, that’s nice, but why are you giving it to me?” you ask and notice Hinata blushing again. He’s probably embarrassed right now. But you think it’s cute. “Eh, I mean for you. You. I’ve got my bottle here! See? It’s even full!” he says and reaches for the bottle in the side of his bag, wanting to shake it to show you that it’s full. But instead, he presses down on the bottle and splashes the water on his face. You giggle, but reach into your own gym bag and pull out a small towel to put on Hinata’s wet head so he can dry off. A gesture that is probably too much for his nerves right now.

Tired after his hard and long volleyball training with Kageyama, Hinata is just about to get on his bike and ride home when he sees you sitting at the bus stop in the dark. A little confused, he asks you what you are still doing here at this time of night when you tell him that you missed your bus."Then come on, I’ll drive you home!" he says with a cheerful smile and you don’t even have the chance to say no. Because you’re already sitting on the front of his handlebars while he pedals his bike and takes you home. He doesn’t seem to care that you live in the opposite direction to him and that it will take him even longer to get home, thanks to you. “Hold on tight, the Shouyou taxi is fast as lightning,” he says with a grin and drives you home.

With Hinata, it’s a fifty-fifty chance whether he confesses his feelings to you or not. Either he confesses them to you, but then because he babbles and the words just fall out of him with nervousness, or you tell him at some point that you have feelings for him.

If you are the one who confesses his feelings first, you can literally watch a fuse burn out in his head and how he is completely overwhelmed until he realizes what you have just told him.

Iwaizumi is similar to Sawamura. He would also shine through his act of kindness. Even if he would try to hide it coolly.

However, Iwaizumi also has a protective and slightly jealous side, especially when Oikawa gets the idea to flirt with you. He doesn’t like it when you feel uncomfortable or when other guys get too close to you.

“You shouldn’t carry such heavy things. You’ll damage your back,” Iwaizumi grumbles, before taking the bag with all the water bottles for the volleyball team from you and hanging it over his shoulder. “Hajime... I’m not five anymore... I can carry the bag by myself.” You answer him with a sigh. He’s a bit like your mum... far too caring. The only thing missing now is that he shouts after you in the morning to always bring a jacket so that you don’t freeze in the summer when it’s thirty degrees… “Never mind, I’ll carry the bag now...” he replies casually and turns his head away from you, but the tips of his reddish ears betray his coolness.

“Uuuhh my favorite manager is back” grins Oikawa, who runs up to you and hugs you as if you were best friends, but quickly lets go of you when he is hit in the back of the head with a ball. “Hey Shittykawa, leave her alone. We’re here to train, not to flirt with women. Especially not with our manager, you idiot!” Iwaizumi yells annoyed and approaches you both, while Oikawa tries to hide behind you. “Not my face, not my face!” Oikawa begs from behind you, leaning his head against your back. Iwaizumi tries to pull him away from you as the coach calls everyone together and demands their attention.

Iwaizumi would definitely be the first to tell you that he has feelings for you. But also alone, not in front of all your friends.

He would pull you aside, casually ask if you had a moment and just before he confessed his feelings to you. His tough determination would leave him and he would scratch the back of his neck until he got the words out almost sulkily, not looking you in the eye at first, before repeating his words with more determination, this time looking at you.

Oikawa would try to win your attention with every second.

Whether it’s in class because he offers to answer difficult questions and flaunts the answer to make himself look smart and strong in front of you, or whether it’s in training when he scores 5 points only with his serves.

Even your teacher doesn’t call you by name as often as Oikawa does when he wants your attention.

He also doesn’t like it when he sees you with other guys. He always pushes his way in between your conversations and tries to be close to you.

“Oh hey, Y/n-chan, what are you talking about right now?” he asks with feigned curiosity, his arms draped over your shoulders as he stares darkly into the eyes of the young guy in front of you. “Oh eh, we were talking about the new movie that airs tomorrow,” you reply, looking back over your shoulder at Oikawa, who suddenly looks at you with a smile, the dark expression completely gone. “A movie? Shall we go together?” He’s not really in the mood for the cinema, but if it means this guy leaves and Oikawa can spend more time with you, it’s a win-win.

Oikawa walks out of the changing room with a big grin on his face. Freshly showered and in everyday clothes after his team won the game against a neighboring team. “Did you see how many points I scored in that game? It’s amazing, isn’t it?” he asks, totally full of himself, as he puts his arm over your shoulders and pulls you closer to him. “Yes... you really scored a lot of points. But Hajime was also really-“, ”Iwa-chan could only score so many points because I’m the best setter. Right? You saw that, didn’t you? How I pass the ball into Iwa-chan’s hand?" he interrupts you, almost as if it annoys him that you were about to praise his best friend. With a sigh, you just chuckle. “Mhh yes, that’s right. You’re really great.” you answer him and watch as his eyes sparkle even brighter and he happily presses you against his chest. “I knew you only had eyes for me, little birdy.”

Since Oikawa assumes that every woman likes him anyway, he also expects you to like him. Would he tell you that he has feelings for you? Maybe.

The fact that you two are always doing so much together and that he’s like a clingy puppy somehow blurs the line between friendship and relationship.

At some point, when a guy had asked for your number, Oikawa had then shouted loudly that the guy should leave his girlfriend alone. You looked at him in confusion and there was a brief, awkward silence until you asked him if by any chance he had feelings for you.

[bluewxrld07]

Hurt My Feelings (Ethan Edwards)

Warning(s): mutual pining, angst, cheating, making out, groping/touching

Ethan Edwards x femalebff!reader (there's also a little bit of Luke Hughes x reader oops ;) )

Summary: Based off of Tate McRae's song Hurt My Feelings :)

She wears your number, but I've got what you like

She's got you right now, but I'm still on your mind

The rink was cold. It always was. No matter how many times she's sat in one, whether it was for a tournament or for just one game, she still was cold no matter what.

She was wearing her UMich gear; supporting a hockey sweatshirt in the the familiar navy blue with yellow lettering underneath her jacket, a pair of grey jogger sweats with their team logo, a UMich hat, and a pair of UMich mittens made by the famous Edwards mother herself. A gift from her two birthdays ago after learning y/n would be attending the same college with Ethan.

Y/n found her seat in the third row opposite from the benches, wrapping her blanket around her legs as she sat. Once she was situated, she looked around the arena, watching as people piled into their seats. Some making their way down to the glass to watch the boys warmups up close.

That's when her eyes stopped and did a double take, following back to the familiar head of platinum blonde hair standing right behind the glass, standing directly across the rink from where y/n was sitting. She wore the oh so familiar home jersey with the number 73 on her back, with leather skinny jeans.

Her makeup looking a tad too overdone, a large sign sitting front of her and her friends with a thirst quote written out on it in big letters. The chomping of the girl's gum also being very noticeable. Y/n fought the urge to roll her eyes as she watched Ethan's girlfriend rave with her friends, probably bragging and talking about the boy himself.

Ethan was not someone who enjoyed signs with messages such as the one written on his girlfriend's board. Course the signs were fine when it was younger kids coming to watch, but he always said it looked desperate.

When y/n and him would lay outside talking about life, he always stated that he would want his future girlfriend to be the one sitting in the stands with his family. Not the one behind the glass with a cliche sign. Sure he didn't mind it when it came to fans, but when it was his girlfriend, it was a different story.

He wanted to be able to come out for warmups, search for her and smile when he did. Be able to look up at her every so often in between drills, waving, making gestures, mouthing something out to her, anything like that.

Y/n was lost in her thoughts when Ethan's mom's voice rung out happily. "Ugh I'm so glad you made it before me! I thought I was gonna be too late and we wouldn't get our usual spots." she jokes, a large smile on her face as she sat next to the college girl pulling her in for a bear hug.

She supported a homemade sweatshirt customized with her son's number and name on the sides of the sleeves, mittens with 73 on both of them as well as a UMich tie blanket.

"You know me, I like to be early thanks to always having parents fashionably late to everything," y/n chuckles as they pulled away from one another.

Ethan's mom gave her a look, knowing exactly what she meant. "Oh sweetheart trust me I know. Why do you think I always tell your parents an earlier time nowadays? So then they're actually on time to things."

"Yeah no kidding. I'm always the one stressing."

As the pair talked, the seats and the edges around the glass began to fill with students and fans. Before they knew it the music started to blare out, cheers increasing as the teams came out for warmups.

Y/n clapped alongside the elder woman, the pair still conversing as they watched the boys skate around the ice.

Y/n's eyes fell to the familiar head of brown hair poking out of the helmet he wore, watching as he shot into the net a few times. Not6 long after did her eyes find his girlfriend once again, seeing the girl bouncing up and down like a toddler and banging on the glass eyeing Ethan as he skated around.

She watched as her and her friends banged on the glass and shook the sign made, trying to get him to notice it.

"She's absolutely embarrassing." y/n hears next to her, looking over to Ethan's mom, whom has a disgusted look on her face while staring at the platinum head of hair across the rink.

"Not a fan of her?" she asks, watching the woman shake her head immediately.

"I tried giving her a chance. I truly did. But she is just not anywhere near his type. Or even respectful for that matter," she admits while shaking her head, finding her song back on the ice. "She got drunk at dinner with us the first time we met her. The second time we met her she got into an argument with my husband." Shay says.

Y/n stays silent and just chuckles lightly, focusing back to the boys on the ice.

Ethan peers up at the stands, scanning them before his eyes find her own. He smiles largely with a goofy smile and nods his head up as if saying 'what up'. Y/n feels her face heat up, butterflies in her stomach.

She nods back at him with a humored smile playing on her lips. His gaze falling to his mom next to her blowing her a kiss. She smiles warmly at her son and sends a million kisses back and cheers for him, watching his focus go back to drills.

Y/n wanted to take that and rub it in his girlfriends face, whom was still desperately trying to get his attention. Yet she was better than that, so she just stayed content in her seat as she watched the boys.

After a while, it was nearing the end of their warmups as her and the older woman had small talk about how school has been. They kept their eyes on the team in front of them, soon seeing Ethan skate up towards the glass on their side of the rink, eyeing y/n whom looked at him with a questioning expression.

He points towards the tunnel where they came from as if saying to meet him over there, her nodding immediately as she unwrapped herself from her cocoon.

She tells the woman next to her she will be right back, the woman shooing her off with a knowing smile.

Y/n makes her way down the steps towards the tunnel, feeling a certain blonde's eyes on her, making her try to hide a humored grin on her face. Ethan skates over slowly and greets some of the younger kids waiting by the entrance for the players.

She leans over the railing with a small smile on her face, watching as he makes his way towards her removing his helmet to look at her clearly.

He reaches his hand up as she re moves her mitten and reaches her own hand down, doing their little handshake together.

"You cold over there Rudolph?" he jokes, earning and eyeball from her.

"Yeah yeah, haven't heard that one before." she scoffs and he laughs at her expression.

"You want to meet the guys and I for dinner afterwards? We might hit up Bell's Diner," he says, and she immediately feels her insides warm.

He's asking her to join him. Not the blonde who was insanely upset on the other side of the rink. Her.

"Yeah I might be up for it." she shrugs, earning a smack to her hand that still hung with his.

I should've known better, you should've known better than me

"Ow, okay, ow, Ethan! Stop that hurts!" Y/n cries out with a laugh, the boy now sitting on her as she was laying on the couch, video game controller in his hands.

"No you stay here." he laughs.

She squeaks out and tries poking at his sides to get him off of her, watching as he twitches from her hands. "Ethan I have class in like fifteen minutes! I swear if you don't get off of me, I'm-"

"What? You're in no place to call the shots, you can't move," he jokes out looking down at her in amusement. Her arms fall other sides, looking up at him with a scowl, then crosses her arms over he chest.

Ethan laughs down at her before unpausing his game, y/n's mouth dropping offendedly. She begins to huff and puff dramatically, her head turning away from him as her sighs get louder each time her ignores her.

Once she sees that her dramatic sighs are not doing the trick, she conjures up a devilish grin.

It's a few moments of silence, but then before Ethan knows it, the girl underneath him begins screaming. He immediately jumps up in surprise from the loud yell she conjures up, the girl now scrambling off the couch and up the stairs to get her bag for class.

She hears his footsteps coming up the staircase as well as the calls of her name with some empty joking threats such as ones like 'I'm gonna throw you into the pool' or her favorite, 'I will force you to play in my spot the next home game'.

She's zipping up her jacket and throwing her backpack over her shoulder by the time her reaches her, an amused smile on both their lips.

"Ethan, no." she giggles, watching him stalk closer to her. She puts her arms out to keep him away. Her breathing getting heavy in between laughs as he gets closer.

She finds herself backing into a wall, completely screwed now as he now stands directly in front of her. His hands find her waist while his eyes are piercing down into her own, a devilish smile on his lips.

The closeness between them made her insides churn with excitement and nervousness, unsure of what was next to come.

"I wanted to spend time with you," he drags out, she rolls her eyes. "I don't see you much anymore."

"I was here yesterday."

"Okay but still, You get so busy with classes this time of year, and I have Hockey. So I don't see you a ton." he says, leaning his forehead on her own, giving her waist a squeeze.

She swallows lightly, her breathing becoming heavy as her heart. pounds in her chest. "I miss you." he mutters, his eyes finding hers.

Her eyes look into his, their faces so close now. Her heart was yelling at her to close the distance, but her mind kept screaming back and chanting girlfriend girlfriend girlfriend.

She watched him close his eyes, his jaw clenching and unclenching.

Y/n closed her eyes tight, taking a deep breath before place a hand on his chest and lightly pushing him back. "I've gotta go Eddy." she sighs, and walks away from him.

Ethan stayed in his spot, her scent still there, captivating as ever. Once he hears the front door close, his head drops back as he lets out a groan and rubs his hand on his face.

"Fuck"

I'm tryna tell myself I'm gonna stay away from you

I should've known better, you've got a way that's gonna weigh-weigh on me

It was New Years Eve, and of course the Hockey team was throwing a big party. They threw one every year. Y/n always helped plan them, per Rutger and his girlfriends pleas.

This year made it harder for her to say yes. She's been avoiding Ethan as much as she can, ignoring his texts and calls. Trying to distance herself from the need she had for him inside. She thought she was doing what was best for the both of them. Their want and need for one another was climbing. So she put a stop to it. At least is trying to.

The Hockey house was definitely bumping, the time being eleven o'clock. So close to ball drop. Y/n accepted that she would either end up kissing some random guy at midnight, or better yet, nobody at all.

Each year, she wished for Ethan to be that one she kissed. To feel his lips on her own. Yet it always ended up being nobody.

Of course Ethan knew she never had a new years kiss, so he would place his lips on her cheek after midnight and claim that that could count as her new years kiss.

She doubted she would get that now. After she had been avoiding him like the plague, stating she was so busy with classes and homework. Or that she was too sick to answer the phone sometimes.

She knew Ethan would see right through her each time though. Even if he wouldn't admit it, he knew her well enough to know her tell when lying.

So now here she stood while So High by Doja Cat played, next to Rutger in a game of beer pong against a couple of the Football boys, in a dress that she felt was too short. But was complimenting her figure so good per Rutger's girlfriend.

She was tipsy, but not drunk. She really didn't feel like throwing up tonight, better yet not having to deal with being hungover the next morning. It was enough of a buzz that she was able to feel at ease, and let loose for the night.

Rutger pulled her in for a hug as they cheered, her sinking the Football guys' last cup watching as they chugged it down.

Y/n a sip of her own drink, Rutger saying he was going to take a break and dance with his girlfriend, Y/n nodding and shooing him away to go be with her.

The girl made her way through the crowd after she finished making another drink, the crowd dancing as if in slow motion with the colored lights flashing around.

As she took a sip of her drink, she stopped in her tracks seeing the familiar boy she had been avoiding.

He was dancing up against his girlfriend, the girl basically grinding all over him as he kissed her neck. One hand gripping the underside of her breast while the other stayed glued lowly on her hip.

Y/n rolled her eyes, feeling the bile in her throat as she looked around the room to find someone. She thought it would be better to try getting over Ethan, by getting under someone else.

The crowd cheered as Rude Boy by Rihanna began to blare through the speakers, her lips turning up into a smirk. Y/n downed the rest of her drink and set her cup down on a nearby table, her eyes finding a familiar pair of blonde, curly hair.

"Hughes," she calls over the music, his head snapping over and down to her with a smile. "What's goin on little y/n/n?" he says back.

He was leaning against a doorway while talking another buddy of his, she held her hands out for him. "Come dance with me Luke," she challenges, his eyes scanning her figure as he bit his lip. Luke hands his cup to his buddy, immediately sliding his hands into her own, watching her lips move and sing along to the lyrics of the song.

They found a spot in the crowd, her eyes still locked on his. Sure Luke was attractive, everything about him was. Which is why she didn't mind how it felt dancing up close with him.

His hands slid away from hers, the girl turning around so her back was up against his chest while his hands found home on her hips.

Her hands slid up over her stomach, to her waist, over her own breasts before finally reaching behind her and sliding them into Luke's hair. The pair swayed together to the music as she sang along to the lyrics, Luke's head falling to the crook between her neck and collarbone.

Luke was tall, only a had a couple inches on Ethan, but still pretty tall nonetheless. His head fell over her collarbone fully, his lips finding a spot right on the bone that made her sigh deeply and grip his hair tightly.

Her eyes began to search in the crowd for the familiar brunette, stopping when she found him with his girlfriend still in their same position.

His eyes, though, staring into her own. Y/n knew she had him in a trance now. Her lips still singing along to the lyrics.

But that's when something else snapped in her. Her eyes leaving Ethan's and looking back down to the boy who was breathing heavily into her neck.

"Lu," she breathes, the boy humming and squeezing her hips as an answer. "I need you to help me out." she admits and he nods, his eyes finding hers for a second. He watches her eye dart towards the brunette and his own girl, Luke's eyes slowly fading over to Ethan and the blonde.

Luke's chin sat softly on her shoulder as they still danced against one another. The boys stared back at one another, Ethan's eyes looking into his best friend's with warning, as if daring Luke to test him.

Luke was always one to help stir the pot if it needed to be. Especially when he knew how both y/n and Ethan felt about each other, but danced around it for many reasons.

So of course when Ethan gave him those eyes, Luke's mind was more than happy to push his best bud past his limits.

Y/n's stayed on Luke's side profile while he stared at Ethan with a smirk blooming onto his face. As they swayed, the bridge to the song came in and Luke's hands began to move. One hand slithered its way to y/n's throat and gripped lightly, causing her to sigh at his touch.

The other hand slithered up too, but stopping on her left breast, squeezing and toying with it over her dress. The feeling of Luke's hands in the right spots made y/n's head rolled back onto his shoulder as she let out a sigh mixed with a breathless moan.

She knew Luke was still staring back at Ethan, who still held eye contact with him as well, Ethan's nostrils flaring.

Luke's eyes broke their stare a moment later, finding home on the soft spot in the crook of her neck he found earlier. Ethan watched y/n's chest heaving up and down as his best friend touched her and kissed her like that.

"Shit, Lu," she sighs into Luke's ear. She could feel him poke her backside as they ground against one another. "Who knew you knew what you were doing." she chuckles breathlessly, earning a hum from the curly headed boy.

"Gotta do what I gotta do to pull his head out of his ass, huh?" he says back to her, his head lifting up to stare back at her.

His hand left her throat, and began to slide down her waist, her hips, to her thighs, his hand moving towards her inner thigh and sliding back up slowly.

Her breathing was starting to become messy as he got closer to where she was dying to be touched. Whether it was Luke or Ethan, in which she hoped Ethan would be the one to do it, but wasn't complaining when Luke knew how to push her own buttons.

Before Luke could finally reach where she desperately needed it, she was snagged from his arms and thrown over a shoulder.

She looked back up to see Luke standing there, tongue poking the inside of his cheek as he saluted to her. She smirked at him in amusement, knowing exactly whose shoulder she was over.

Y/n was taken up the staircase and into the familiar brunette's room, the door shutting and locking behind them.

Ethan set y/n down on her feet once they were in his room, the girl’s eyebrows scrunched up in a frown. That frown changed when she saw his facial expression. 

She couldn’t pinpoint all the emotions running through his mind, but the ones she could see were anger, sadness, annoyance. 

Lust. 

His anger was what she could see the most running through his eyes, arms crossed over his chest. “Did you need something?” She retorts, testing the waters that were already running high. Ethan scoffs down at her, his arms being thrown up in anger at her. “You’re fucking with me right?” He snaps, making her shake her head at his tone. 

“I’m not doing this,” she chuckles bitterly, trying to walk past him but he grabs her arm. “Of course you won’t. You haven’t wanted to in weeks! I don’t hear shit from you, and the next thing I know I'm watching both of my best friends all up on one another? What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Y/n lets her tongue run over her teeth, not daring to make eye contact with him. She might’ve been buzzed, but she was not drunk. She was sober enough to be aware of her surroundings, but so aware of them that she was holding back her actions. Because liquid courage was surely a thing right now, and she could not hold back much longer. 

“Hello? You gonna answer me y/n/n?” He says in a short tone, making her snap out of her trance. 

She could hear Rutger’s voice downstairs saying fifteen seconds till midnight, y/n really wanting to get out of there before she couldn’t control herself anymore. 

All these feelings have been building up, her avoiding him not helping her case. Actually made it worse, because of the way her body and mind craved his presence and touch. 

“I can’t right now, Ethan.” She musters out, not making eye contact as she says it. Ethan frowns at her, confusion setting in. “Do what?” He asks. She shakes her head at him, the boy watching as she swallows hard, her chest heaving. 

“Ethan,” she says, her tone was one he had only a few times. It was a warning tone. She still wasn’t looking at him in the eyes. The sound of everyone downstairs counting down till midnight and the music blaring being heard. “You should really get down there,” she says and motions to the door. “Your girl will be wondering where you are at midnight.”  

Ethan storms up to her, annoyed that she won’t even acknowledge him or look at him. 

“Look at me,” he says, his tone stern as he grabs her jaw softly but enough to force her to look at him. Her eyes catch his, he sees that she’s got a certain emotion running through them. 

“What’s going on, y/n?” He mutters to her softly this time. "Why won't you talk to me? What did I do?" he pushes, watching as the gears turn in her mind.

He watches her lip quiver, soon biting it to hide the way it shook. It shouldn't have made him feel a way, but it did. He wanted to be the one biting that lip. Let alone taking away the pain he could see in her eyes.

Y/n rolls her eyes as the crowd yells out ‘one’ followed by a ‘happy new year’. She looks back at him, still staying silent. He says her name one last time sternly. 

“Y/n.” 

“Goddammit Eddy.” she snaps before her hand wraps around his neck, pulling him in for his lips to finally slam onto her own. 

He didn’t take any time to process what was going on, just instantly kissing her back with just as much passion as she did. His hand going to both sides of her head, their lips moving in sync. 

The way his lips felt on hers was nothing like she's ever imagined. They felt like they belonged on her own. What caught her off guard the most, was the fact that he didn't even hesitate to kiss her back.

That's when she realized he felt the same way she did. The attraction was there.

His tongue grazed hers, making his hand slide down and grip her backside. When her mouth opened in a gasp, he slid his tongue inside to let it massage hers.

Her soft moans were like music to his ears, his hands roaming anywhere and everywhere. He wanted to hear them over and over again. It was him making her make those noises. Not Luke. His lips left her own and trailed down her neck, stopping on the same spot that Luke's had once been on. Y/n didn't think it could feel any better, but Ethan made it feel insatiable.

Her hands ran through his hair as his hands roamed wherever they could reach, her gasps and breathless moans going into his broad shoulder. But as he kissed along her entire chest, her conscience came creeping in.

"Ethan," she sighs, the boy's hands raising the hem of her dress slightly, gripping her thighs trying to get her as close as he could in that moment. All that was on his mind was her. She tried his name once again, the brunette still not answering her as he searched for her lips to shush her.

"Ethan hold on," she says in between their kisses. He whimpers in her mouth, making her feel so incredibly weak. She wanted to cave so bad. Wanted to give him all of her. Let him have his way with her, and her with him.

But she couldn't. She couldn't do that.

"Your girlfriend, Eddy." she mutters as she pulls away, putting her hand on his chest. They're both breathless, Ethan going in one last time, teeth going down to drag out her bottom lip which earned a moan from her mouth.

He takes a moment with her, chests heaving against one another.

"You stay here," he whispers, his hands coming up to squeeze her waist.

She just hums with a slight nod. "I'll be back." he says, placing one last kiss on her lips, leaving her in the middle of his room in a disheveled state.

He didn't return that night.

She's where you're waking up, she's got you making up such pretty boy excuses

Oh but I know one thing, she can't stop it happening in my mind

It had been two weeks since the New Years incident. Two weeks since y/n and Ethan had shared that moment in his room. Two weeks since he left you there, only to not return.

He had been the one avoiding her now. But in this case, not under his own choices.

Every time y/n showed up to the Hockey house, she was there. Every time y/n went to a home game, she was sitting in your spot, going to see him at the tunnel instead of y/n.

When she'd text him to meet, he'd say the same things.

E :)

I can't today, I'm trying to focus. I've got a lot going on rn.

E :)

I wish I could, but I've got some stuff going on with the boys.

E :)

I would say yes, but the gf and I have plans tonight!

She knew it wasn't him making the choices, or sending those texts. He always dropped whatever he was doing to see y/n, to be with her.

The boys would've invited her to come with for one, and for two she had planned on seeing some of the guys that night. So y/n knew it was a lie from him.

The classes y/n had with Ethan and the boys was what made it more obvious. He always made up an excuse as to why his girlfriend needed him to sit with her. Or she would already be sitting in y/n's spot, so she'd find somewhere in the back to sit.

Y/n's heart began to ache. She knew deep down that it wouldn't have just happened so easily between them two, and that she couldn't stop him from making that choice. It just hurt because she should've composed herself better that night, then maybe they would've turned out being back to normal at this point.

Y/n sat in the library with Rutger's girlfriend, the pair doing homework in one of the study hall rooms. Y/n had been zoned out, her eyes locked on Ethan and his girlfriend, whom sat outside in the main study hall area talking all happily with one another.

It should be her he is sat with. Them two laughing at some stupid joke Ethan tried making about classes or the assignment at hand. It should've been her getting the quick kisses stolen in between work.

"You really need to get better at hiding your emotions, y/n/n," Rutger's girlfriend says.

Y/n snapping out of her trance and looking up at the girl whom had the whiteboard marker in one hand, the other on her hip with an unfazed look on her face.

"What emotion? I'm fine." Y/n says, her tone squeaky and uneven.

"Yeah and I'm a hockey wag," the blonde girl jokes, making y/n shrug.

"Technically speaking, you are. Unofficially," she pushes, nearly dodging the marker thrown her way.

"Not the point!" the girl laughs, y/n smiling at her comment.

She comes and sits next to y/n, sighing as she sees what her friend was witnessing. Then turns back to look at her a few moments later.

"What happened on New Years?" she asked, watching her friend pale and look at her lap.

"You cannot say a word," y/n says. "I won't-"

"Not even to Rutger."

"Damn that bad huh?"

Y/n nods. "We kind of sort of," she trails off. "madeoutinhisroomandIhadtobetheonetostopitfromgoingfurther"

The blonde looked at her like she had two heads. "I cannot decipher your fast speaking tone, so slow it down for me thank you."

Y/n sighs. "We made out in his room, and I was the one who had to try and stop it. Because if I didn't, we would've kept going." she admits, watching her friends eyes light up.

"I was wondering why he looked so dazed and why his lips were swollen when he came back." she says in a knowing manner.

"Seriously, you cannot say a word! He didn't even come back to me that night, so it means nothing." y/n says as she closes her books, packing up her stuff.

"Girl, he didn't come back because his girlfriend knew something was up."

"I kind of figured with how she's been about me lately."

"Yeah trust me, everyone has noticed." y/n threw the whiteboard marker back at her friend who laughed.

"Don't stress about it seriously. She is just jealous of what you guys have," she explains as they begin to leave the room. "I'm not one to be for cheating, trust me. But with how she treats all of us behind the scenes, I'd say your secret would be safe with me."

Y/n shook her head, her eyes finding Ethan once again. "Yeah well," He must've felt someone staring because his eyes look up from the platinum blonde girl next to him, smile dropping when he finds the familiar girl's stare.

"He can count his day because he's breaking my heart doing it." The two girls then walk away, Y/n's eyes leaving Ethan's.

His eyes following her still as she left the hall.

She's got you right now, but I'm still on your mind

[lukolabrainrot]

Calm theory anon here 🩷

Like my fav Lukolabrainrot I'm tooo not worried in the least by anything we have seen. When you're in love with someone you wanna show them off you wanna shout to the rooftops that you're with that person. You would talk about them nonstop. They would be in conversations that you have with other people. It's hard to keep it in when you truly love someone. That's a natural reaction to being in love with someone. The narratives that we see online Isn't always based on facts. It's based on peoples opinions. The facts are when you go on Luke or Nicola page who do you see besides themselves? On Nicola page you see Luke on Luke's page you see Nicola. You don't hide someone you love. You would talk about them in interviews randomly. You would post cute things they do. And you would definitely acknowledge they exist. Liking photo is a bare minimum that you do for people who are good friends. Hate is always going to come no one can stop it. If anything the more silent a star remains the more intense the hate gets. Again what are the facts? Nic post Luke and Luke post Nicola. Luke talked about Nic at jimmy Fallon and Nic talked Luke in time magazine. That my dears is the biggest signs of all. Those signs are what matter. One last thing I want to share my first lesson I learned in college. The Internet is a phenomenal tool for information. But you have to understand that anybody can put anything online. And people can manipulate photos. Photos can be taken out of context. My professors used to say if you're quoting something that you've seen online, you have to make sure that the source is a legitimate source. The source is credible. You can't site something as fact when the source isn't credible. Gossip sites. Aren't incredible source. In this situation the source would be Luke or Nic. The rest of the information isn't credible. So listen to what they're saying.

I know we are all having a lot of feelings about everything with JD and A this week. I've sat on everything this week and this is what I will say (and know that my feelings have not changed this week regarding Lukola). And these are just my thoughts and SPECULATION (but I feel pretty confident with them):

We don't know these people. They don't owe us anything. It is alright to feel frustrated (I know I have recently), but it is also important to use our critical thinking skills when consuming information that isn't coming DIRECTLY from L OR N.

We got an AMAZING WT from L/N, where a lot of us just fell in love with them and their connection. However, these are both grown adults in their 30s. IF they are with other people and there is NOTHING personal going on with L/N that they were/are trying to keep private, we wouldn't be seeing all these games. L and or N would have officially shut down rumors and come out with their respective partners at some point before now. They haven't. And therefore there is a reason everything has looked so weird since papgate...

And I believe one of the largest reasons is because of NDAs that are at play with A. Which leads us to her Spain carousel from today. Y'all, she has been sitting on these for a while. There is ZERO way for us to confirm when she was here, or if she was even there with L. Yes, that is probably the same balcony from the one he shared from his stories. Not denying that. But if she was REALLY with him as his "girlfriend" on this trip, you damn well know she would have shown that somehow. He's NOWHERE to be seen. Just like A was NOWHERE to be seen in his post or stories about the trip. She plays games and likes to stir the pot. THIS IS NOT NEW. We will most likely never be able to know who exactly was with L on this Spain trip and when he was there... But girlie pop has been sitting on these pics for a while, 100%. Why? Because I am almost certain this is her last direct tie to L, she saw that there was a lot of attention on N rn because of the JD stuff, and this was her bomb. I think L's NDA SM obligations are coming to an end this month, and she was trying to go out with a bang for the engagement (I don't think that is exactly what it did, but I am sure that was her goal). But if you still think L/A are super happy and serious from everything you've observed since papgate, then I don't know what to tell you. But NONE of this is a good indicator of a happy and healthy relationship when it comes to L/A.

Lastly, remember the rings everyone before you spiral. The Claddagh ring (which has now moved to N's left hand) is something she ordered in early MAYYYY. And she has been publicly wearing since early JUNE. So... for MONTHS. And we can argue all we want about that ring, but that ring is about her relationship with L. Period. And y'all, she grew up in the town where these rings ORIGINATED FROM. I highly doubt she skirts all tradition when it comes to these rings, and likely takes the orientation of them pretty seriously. Therefore, it appears that her and L are in a very serious and committed relationship. So, let's all take a deep breath, remember the rings, and let's carry on.

[vaguely-concerned]

BEHOLD! The list of evidence for my bold claim that Pan and Freddie dislike each other ferociously on sight because they are, in some key ways and despite appearances, very similar people: 

- First instinct upon seeing Grace sad is to try to make her laugh to cheer her up. (See: Freddie’s very first lines in the game starting off as she means to go on, and about half the things Pan ever says or does lol. In the last scene with him before The Trial you can even tell him you’re there just because you wanted to talk to him and have something cheer you up.) General sources of levity and fun and play in Grace’s life if you seek them out. 

- They react with similar anxiety to the idea of Grace being really angry with them (Freddie’s surprised/dismayed “Why are you angry at me?!” in the red route of ‘I Can Teach You’, the millenia-old god of the wild hiding behind a tree for ten minutes because he thinks Grace might be about to yell at him lmao <3)

- Both of them seem to have similar interpersonal insecurities in general, judging by the enforced choice between them in ‘I Can Teach You’ (I love you both so much but oh my god. is this a constructive use of time or energy under the circumstances lol), softened and alleviated by the fact that at the end of the day the most important thing to either of them is that Grace is happy. It isn’t possessiveness, but there is an element of underlying ‘Hey. Hey I am your favorite right?? 🥺’ insecurity there that trips them both up to begin with. Once you play the game and go back to look at this scene again knowing everyone’s real motivations, they’re even coming from the same place deep down — genuine fear for Grace’s safety and wanting to help her. (Freddie uncomplicatedly out of love🥹, and Pan at that stage probably more out of a guilty sense of responsibility, though he does seem to take a shine to Grace herself pretty quickly as well. Also he demonstrably isn’t, uh. Completely wrong in saying Freddie’s involvement in this whole mess is likely to end in tears, even if he is being a real dick about it) 

- If you don’t choose either in ‘I Can Teach You’, they both show up within minutes of each other to watch Grace’s back in the Medusa quest anyway. One brain cell ping pong and no one notices because they keep trying to swat each other with the racquets whenever Grace glances away for a second

Sidenote but flirting with both of them one after the other in that quest is fucking hilarious, they’re just taking turns ‘Really? Right in front of my salad?’-ing directly at the camera (...listen I feel that there is a chance that as long as they kept Grace between them the whole time there could be a thing here. I think a possible universe out there where it happens at least once does exist if one cared to go seek it out. That’s all I’m saying.) 

- Seems a bit obvious but what else am I here for: both very drawn to Grace no matter what main trait you choose. Whether this is true vice versa is of course player-dependent, but it is one way you can play the game. 

- Incredibly similar defensive reactions to being picked on or sniped at (and no hesitation whatsoever in subjecting each other to exactly that immediately anyway haha) 

- A bit dark when you think about it, but they both express the sentiment that it would be better for them to step in and die if it means Grace lives. (Freddie very directly of course ;______; and then in ‘It’s time’, Pan in ‘The Trial’ and the little talk you have with him later in Athena’s office.)  

Matching ‘ride or die’ instincts once awoken, is what I’m getting at. Freddie gets extra points for sheer longevity and constancy, Pan gets extra points for getting there in a week. You’re both unhinged (affectionate) 

- They’re the only ones among the main cast wearing green, right? I think I’ve got that right? Well, Charon does too, I suppose, but he’s a bit more peripheral. (Persephone and Aphrodite wear blue-green, but that seems more associated with death and the underworld and the river of grief everyone keeps using as a metaphor throughout the game.) Somehow I find the idea/metaphor that once you get Pan out from under like three layers of bullshit he’s the same colour as Freddie (who is inarguably The symbol of devotion and steadfastness in this game no matter your choices) quite sweet. 

- Nerds. You know I am right. Slightly different kinds of nerd (Freddie is distinctly geek-flavoured and Pan collects rare books for sport sort of distinction), but still. Oh my god. Freddie should get the whole cast together to play D&D in the Reliquary post-game. It would be absolute carnage. It would be glorious hilarity. *GASP* no wait not the Reliquary, let’s go to the Underworld so Charon gets to play too. For the love of all that is good give this to me now please I need it 

- The only two people who think Freddie losing control of her powers and causing a dance number at a funeral is hilarious

In short this is a recognition of the self through the other (derogatory) situation for both of them and neither of them decides to take that with any dignity or grace (ahaha) in the slightest, I love them very much,  thank you and goodnight 

[sam-loves-seb]

look. I know there are probably a million and a half takes on this, but I had this thought, and it wouldn’t leave my brain, so now you have to deal with it too.

ian is not the sun.

ian is the moon, and mickey is the sun.

mickey is the sun, at least in ian’s eyes he is, because ian’s whole world starts ends and revolves around his husband. the pull mickey has on him feels like a gravitational orbit, stronger than any crush or infatuation ever has been, and no matter how much distance (physical and metaphorical) ian puts between them, he always—always—comes back to mickey. and mickey, well he burns hotter and brighter than just about anyone else they know, all barely checked temper and hot seething rage, and hell hath no fury like a mickey scorned because he will burn you faster than any fire ever could. and god, his eyes—do not get ian started on mickey’s eyes—they’re as blue as a cloudless sky on a summer’s day, all warm and wide and vast as the horizon, and ian could stare at them for hours the way he’d stare up at the sky in the backyard as a kid. and yeah, maybe sometimes you can’t look directly at mickey, like maybe you’ll get hurt if you stare for too long, but ian’s best friends are a pair of sunglasses and a bottle of spf, so he’s not exactly new to the sun game, and if he’s the only one who knows how to handle it—that’s more than fine with the both of them

and ian—ian is the moon the way mickey needs air to breathe, because yeah, maybe he’s all smiley and lukewarm to everyone he fucking meets, but that’s not ian, not the real ian, that’s just good fucking manners or whatever shit ian says, but mickey doesn’t care about that. mickey cares about the ian that’s only for him, the one that is there for him through everything, even the bad shit, like the little sliver of moonlight slipping through the curtains on a really dark night, the little bit of comfort that’s enough to get him through the dark times and keep going until morning, like the guiding light on the sidewalks when he wanders home from work or the alibi or whatever late at night when the streets are empty and he’s alone. because mickey’s never really alone, not now that’s for sure, but not even then, when there were miles (metaphorical and literal) between them, because mickey would look up at the moon through the bars on the rec room window or the patio from his apartment in mexico and he’d think of ian, and his stupid fucking lopsided curved grin creeping up on his face like a crescent moon in its own right, and it’d be enough to get him til morning. even now, when he can’t sleep and he’s restless, he still looks for the moon, only now he doesn’t look out the window—why would he when he has the real thing on the other side of his mattress—he throws an arm and a leg over his husband like he’d lasso the moon if he could, and he pulls ian closer.

ian goes through phases, up down then up again, and they’re manageable, almost predictable if you study it close enough, like the phases of the moon or the flow of the tide, in and out, waxing and waning, and mickey loves all versions of ian, the full bright smiles and the dark barely there days, and every variation in between. because ian is still ian, no matter what stage he’s currently in, the same way the moon is still that bright glowing rock in the sky night after night, and mickey is happy to get pushed and pulled like waves on the shore under ian’s influence.

mickey studies the galaxies printed on ian’s body, across his chest and stomach, his shoulders and his arms, even the little ones dotting the backs of ian’s hands, and mickey finds peace in the stardust that paints ian’s skin, in the constellations he maps out on ian’s face with his lips, and even tho the freckles there are more faded then when they were kids, mickey still knows where every single one of them is. he brushes his fingers over the new one above his eyebrow, the one ian got after spending a little too much time with his tomato plant the other day, and mickey feels like an astronomer discovering a new star that he just never would’ve been able to see five, ten years ago on his own personal night sky, but he’s here to see it now so he kisses his latest discovery and falls asleep dreaming of a name for his newest constellation

[littlemissmanga]

Home for the Holidays With You

Pairing: Tech x (gn) Reader

W/C: 2,335

Rating: E for Everyone. This is family (and Costco) friendly.

Warnings: Excessive fluff, Tech being a sweetheart taking ‘acts of service’ to an extreme, reader is dealing with homesickness at the holidays.

A/N: I wrote this as a secret Santa gift for @freesia-writes and her love of Tech inspired probably my fluffiest writing yet. Like, this is maximum fluff, guys. A little bit of whump, especially if you can relate to being homesick, but there is so much comfort here to offset it.

Just one note, I did change this to a GN Reader for tumblr. OG had she/her pronouns.

Dividers by @stars-n-spice :)

Omega’s excitement was like a sparkler. Small, bright bursts that one couldn’t resist smiling at.

Wrecker’s was closer to an explosion, as most things regarding his brother usually were: loud, bombastic, usually too much so to be contagious.

But your excitement was like a cup of caf, perfectly prepared and consumed at the optimal temperature. It was a warmth that seeped deep into his body and settled there, much as you already had in his heart.

He indulged in your presence whenever he could when you were like this. And the approaching holiday season seemed to bring out this flavor of excitement with consistency.

So, he’d chosen to spend his free time preparing with you — decorating to the soothing sounds of holiday music, shopping for and wrapping gifts (and pretending rather convincingly that he wasn’t curious about his own gifts you’d carefully hidden from him).

Tech researched the history of the holiday symbols, décor and music and shared them with you while you worked. You, in turn, regaled him with personal anecdotes of the same things, the two of you trading information as he, Wrecker, and Omega carefully followed your instructions to turn both the Batch’s home and your own into holiday wonderlands.

He blamed your warm excitement. Though even to himself, the word “blame” resonated with playful affection.

“I can’t wait to open these,” Omega chirped as she put the last of the gifts in the area you designated.

“Only one more week!” Your smile belied your pointed tone as you looked directly at Omega and Wrecker as the pair eyed the impressive pile. At least one of them had the decency to appear sheepish, and Tech was unsurprised that it was not his brother.

“I believe there’s more to Life Day than merely presents.”

“Exactly. Thank you, Tech,” you said, gifting him a smile and light touch on his shoulder as you passed by him to put away the last of the brightly colored wrapping flimsy.

“More?” Wrecker asked, excitement and confusion mixing in his tone and expression.

“Lots more,” you confirmed. “You open presents in the morning, sure. But then you get to spend the whole day with the people you care about most. Every family is different, but in mine, we play games, watch holos, and cook holiday treats together. And at the end of the day, you get to eat all that delicious food.”

“Oh! Now that does sound good! What kinda holiday treats d’ya make?”

While you regaled the others with rather detailed descriptions of your favorite holiday foods, Tech took a seat in the living room, pulling his data pad from his utility belt to once again struggle in finding a gift suitable for you.

None of the options so far had been acceptable. Most felt far too impersonal and underwhelming. Any that carried the intimacy he hoped to convey did not seem to suit your preferences as far as he knew them. And since he’d catalogued them, he’d say he knew them fairly well.

Tech knew if he voiced his frustrations to you, you’d laugh them off and tell him not to worry; that you’d love anything that came from him. And you would. Your ability to see past any errors on his part to see his intention underneath was one of the may things he loved about you.

But in this instance, that wasn’t enough. He wanted this gift to be perfect. As perfect as you made him feel. He could not — no, would not stand for his gift to be the only lackluster part of your holiday celebrations.

He was running out of time, however, and was beginning to grow rather anxious at the thought of not finding something in time.

Tech’s focus only lasted a few more moments, however, before his concentration was broken by Omega’s excited squeal.

“Those all sound amazing! And we get to try them!?”

“Oh, uh, not quite.” Your verbal stalling pulled Tech fully back into the conversation happening before him. “I’ve planned a few seasonal-to-Pabu snacks and a nice roast for dinner, but we don’t have access to a lot of the ingredients from my home planet. So we’ll make do with a Corellia-inspired, Pabu-provided holiday feast.”

The others continued the spirited conversation, but Tech was quick to notice a heaviness to you. It didn’t dim your smile or sharpen your words, but he could feel it all the same.

As the evening grew darker and slipped into night, Tech suggested Wrecker take Omega home. His thinly veiled excuse to be alone with you wasn’t questioned by anyone, least of all a tired Omega who yawned through her departure.

Once the silence had settled, you came to sit with him on the couch. He quickly turned off his data pad — not that I’ve found anything worth hiding yet, he thought bitterly — and you melted into his side, not quite cuddling but just letting yourself rest against him.

It was a position you had taken to, and he appreciated the concession that allowed him to keep his arms free while still remaining close to you. Tonight, however, he put his pad down and wrapped an arm around your shoulders, surrounding you with him.

“Now that the others are gone, will you tell me what inspired the melancholic air?”

The tilt of your head to press further into him pleased and concerned him in equal measure.

“Just … realizing what I’m missing, I guess. I mean, I knew when I enlisted in the GAR that I’d be away from home for the holidays. But I could always call, you know? Now that were on the run …”

The silence of your dropped sentence carried for a beat. Tech shifted so he could better see your face while you still rested on his torso.

“Now that we must conceal ourselves from the Empire, it’s too big a risk,” he finished for you.

“Yeah,” you sighed. “And it’s not like I didn’t know that before. We’ve been running for a while and next week is no different. Meg’s comment just made reality hit home.”

“That is understandable.” Tech paused, considering where to go from here. The most obvious solutions — visiting home, calling family, etc. — were all off the table. But leaving you as you were, clearly distressed and upset, was unacceptable. “What can I do?”

Your smile, though small, was genuine as you shook your head against his chest. “You’re sweet.”

“I am merely trying to resolve your current problem.”

“Yes, and that makes you very sweet,” you insisted. And frankly, with you tucked into his side like you were, he felt little of his usual compulsion to press his point. Still, for the rest of the evening, he struggled to himself with how to resolve your homesickness and prevent it from further tainting your beautiful spirit.

He had his list. He reviewed it multiple times to ensure he had not forgotten a single detail. And despite being certain he hadn’t, he still felt unnecessary adrenaline coursing through his body.

“Right! That’s the last of it!” Wrecker announced as he took the final side dish out of the oven. The small space was laden with delicacies, the recipes for which Tech ensured Wrecker and Omega had followed to the letter.

It all looked perfect to him. But — just this once — Tech would concede that his opinion did not matter. Only you could say whether he was successful or not.

The door to the Batch’s Pabu home opened, and Tech heard your voice carry from the entrance to the kitchen. “Hello?”

You were early. Kark.

Evidently, his anxiety was visible, as Wrecker laughed at him before Hunter stepped over to push him out of the kitchen. “Go. We got the rest.”

With little opportunity to do otherwise, Tech obliged. “Thank you. All of you,” he said, looking at his siblings in turn, trying to infuse his voice with sincerity before closing the door to the kitchen behind him as silently as possible.

“Hello, darling. Happy Life Day Eve.”

“Happy Life Day Eve.” You give him a quick kiss before looking around the empty living room. “Where is everyone?”

“They are finishing up some final preparations.”

Confusion colored your face. Understandable, considering you had been the leader of holiday prep … at least as far as you knew. But that was the entire point of a surprise, he supposed.

“Don’t worry, I’ve been supervising. We have a surprise for you.” Tech took your hand in his, giving it a small squeeze before leading you through the house to his room.

You give a small laugh, and he felt the knot in his stomach begin to loosen.

“Shouldn’t presents be saved for tomorrow?” You tease.

“I believe you’ll prefer enjoying this one tonight.”

Opening the door to his room, Tech led you inside to reveal a rather large — and if he permits, rather impressive — new comm station.

He watches your face closely as your eyebrows lift as you take in the sight.

“Wow, Tech! That’s really impressive! Did you build this yourself?”

“Naturally. However,” Tech pulled you further into the room to stand directly in front of the comm, “You cannot ascertain what’s special about this particular comm station by simply observing.”

“Oh?” Your crooked smile as you played along with him was possibly one of the most endearing expressions, and it reminded him to turn on his recording device. “Then please enlighten me. What is so special about it that it my surprise Life Day present?”

Instead of answering, Tech reclaims his hand to type in the frequency he’s come to memorize. He paused, looking up to you and smiling briefly before pressing the call button. “It’s encrypted.”

You tilted your head, eyes furrowed as you tried to make the connection. But before you could, a woman’s voice filtered through the comm.

���Hello? Tech? Can you hear me? Are they there yet?”

Instantly, Tech saw a multitude of emotions fly across your face faster than he could catalogue them as a tear slid down the sweet curve of your cheek. 

Most fortunate, then, that I remembered to begin recording.

Your voice cracked as you answered softly, “Mama?”

“Hi, honey! Oh, stars, it’s so good to hear your voice. Hold on, your father’s coming, too.”

Resting a hand lightly on your shoulder, Tech pressed a kiss to your cheek and whispered, “Take your time and come outside when you’re done.”

Your eyes were bright and wide, and Tech knew he could never catalogue the multitude or depth of your emotions in that moment. But what he did know was that look of melancholy had been well and truly banished. And that was all he needed.

Two hours later, you emerged with a wide smile painted on your face, despite the slight redness around your eyes.

“Tech,” you called softly, reaching out to take hold of him. He let you, falling into your embrace happily. “Thank you.”

“I am glad my plan was successful.”

“It really was.” You tightened your arms around him, and it was only slightly unpleasant. But Tech would have given you a pass even if you had Wrecker’s strength in this moment. “My brilliant genius. You have no idea what that meant to me.”

“Hm, I shall refrain from arguing for now. But that was only the first stage. Are you ready for stage two?”

Tech can feel his shirt dampen as tears soak the fabric even as you laugh.

“Part two? I don’t know. I can’t imagine topping part one.”

Keeping his arm around you, Tech turned you both to lead you to the kitchen, opening the door to reveal the rest of the Batch. In the time it took you to complete your call, his brothers and sister had plated and displayed the wide array of Corellian holiday dishes.

Admittedly, the smell was heavenly. Tech understood why the absence of this spread would be lamentable.

“What in the …” Your head swiveled between members of the Batch, mouth open in soundless surprise before Omega bounded forward, pointing to each dish and telling you how they followed your family’s instructions exactly. It was clear she was eager to hear your approval, perhaps more so than he had been.

“You and Wrecker made all of this?” You asked the young girl, pulling her into a hug when she finished.

“Yup! But it was all Tech’s idea! He got the comm station built and got the recipes from your family, told Phee and Echo where to get everything we didn’t have on Pabu, and he had Hunter distracting you all week so you wouldn’t notice anything!”

Your eyes narrowed at the Sergeant, earning a laugh from Echo. “So that’s why we’ve been re-cataloguing everything in the museum?”

“Sorry. It was the only thing I could think of that you’d believe,” Hunter said, hands raised in front of him as if to ward off your playful irritation.

“What do you think?” Tech asked, touching a hand lightly to your lower back to pull your attention to him. “Does part two satisfy?”

You bark a laugh before pressing into his side once again, sneaking your arm under his so it wraps around his waist, leaving no room between you before burying your head into his shoulder.

“This was… this…” He felt your deep, steadying breath and tightens his hold on you as he waits for you to collect your thoughts. “Yes, Tech. It beyond satisfies. I have never felt so loved.”

He reached forward, lifting your face to his so he can see your eyes. “But you are, darling. You are so very loved.”

And for a brief moment, Tech lost track of time. The shine of your eyes, fueled by love, awe, and just a few unshed tears, was all he needed. If this were the “meaning of the holidays,” then Tech finally understood why so many lifeforms craved the holiday season so.

“So, uh, can we eat? Or d’ya wanna keep starin’ at each other?”

Uncouth as ever, Wrecker’s question pulled you away from Tech with a laugh, though you never let go of his hand. “Yeah, let’s eat.”

Note about my taglist: My google account storage is so full that I can't update and export my sign up sheet, so if you signed up for my taglist and I did not tag you I am so sorry! It is a technical error and one that I am working on fixing!

Taglist: @dreamie411, @wings-and-beskar, @starrylothcat, @sev-on-kamino, @wolffegirlsunite, @secondaryrealm, @idontgetanysleep, @multi-fan-dom-madness, @dystopicjumpsuit, @sinfulsalutations, @sunshinesdaydream, @clonemedickix, @wizardofrozz, @anxiouspineapple99, @mythical-illustrator, @dhawerdaverd

Masterlist

[mywrittengartgallery]

PEDRI - Toute première fois

Words : 1,4k 

Warning : Fluff / mature theme

Summary : You were ready to reach a new step in your relationship with Pedri

☁️ 

“Why do you have so many hoodies anyway ?” you asked as you threw yourself on Pedri’s bed, taking his pillow from under him. A whine escaped him before he grabbed it back.

“Maybe because you keep stealing them?” he said with a sarcastic tone. You only laughed at that. 

“I do that because you have too many, I’m actually doing you a favor!” Pedri could only roll his eyes at that and went back to his phone, probably scrolling on instagram or twitter. You hoped it was the first one because the blue app could be quite harsh on people, especially on football players. You would hate it if he were to read mean things from people who wouldn’t be able to do a quarter of what he does. However your worries were pushed aside when you saw him showing you his phone: he was on instagram, enjoying cute videos of small puppies and was apparently delighted with this one where the small white ball of fur was scared of its own reflection. His eyes formed their usual creases on the side, the ones that would appear when he smiled, and a soft laugh could be heard. Why was he so adorable? You mirrored his grin and got closer. 

His eyes were fixated on you, taking in every ounce of your face. He was intense, his gaze was intense, his entire personality was intense and that made you feel weird. Not in a bad way, but still, you never knew what to do apart from blushing, which was exactly what was beginning to happen. So, while avoiding any eye contact, you pulled your hood, well his hood, up and hid your cheeks in the soft fabric. 

“Don’t do that.” he whispered while trying to remove the hood. Yet, you tried to resist, holding it tight with both of your hands. The small game lasted for about twenty seconds before he gave up and resumed his previous activity: looking at you with his intense gaze which was so destabilizing. 

“I forgive you though” he said, twisting the white strap of your hoodie around his finger. You finally met his eyes, a confused look on your face. “For stealing them... You look pretty cute in them.” And it was back, the hot red hue on your cheeks and probably at the tip of your ears. It was not the biggest compliment you’ve had ever received, especially from him, and it was one that could be pretty common in your relationship, but tonight, it wasn’t the same. This one was pure, directly taken out of his heart and you could feel it, from the way his gaze had softened when the words had left his mouth and the way he had brought his head closer to yours. This boy, he had you wrapped around his finger. That’s why you kissed him: a soft peck that didn’t last, practically shy, but meaningful. 

However, the young athlete had other plans. He delicately placed his hand on your face, cupping your cheek while he initiated another kiss. This one was a little deeper, overflowed with tenderness and a warmth that would heat up the current winter weather. A small grin appeared on your lips as you let yourself being guided in it. Seconds passed and your bodies were now pressed together, your hand sliding under his T-shirt, finding some sort of grounding against his soft skin. You couldn’t resist the urge to make your fingers dance against his side: you were using your finger tips, grazing them, your touch feather like. A shiver ran down his spine as you felt him laugh in the kiss. He broke the loving gesture to look at you, his eyes sparkling, weirdly again and you felt a a type of good nervousness forming in your stomach. It was something different than the butterflies he was used to give you. No, it was denser, fuller and expectant this time. You couldn’t think about it, and even though some sort of ideas had crossed your mind, you weren’t able to really dig into them because Pedri nuzzled your nose, trying to catch your attention.  You looked up, awaiting. 

“Y/N...” he sighed. You nodded, the atmosphere had shifted. “I know that, well, that...” he gulped as if it helped easing his nerves, which only added to your own. “Well, I’m your first real boyfriend.” again, you nodded. It was true, you had had flirts before, in high school, even at the beginning of university, mostly from parties, and most of them weren’t serious or you would only find yourself disappointed. The only time it had been bound to lead to something meaningful, the pandemic happened, forcing you into confinements and it’s like the guy had disappeared. Then, the crisis had went on and blocked all of your chances to find love. Until Pedri. And Pedri, he was nothing like the guys you had met before. 

“I want to keep your pace, I mean... I care, I just-” he was stuttering like crazy so you did what you thought was the right thing to do; you interrupted him.

“I’m ready, Pedri. I think.” 

“Are you sure ?” his voice was soft, and that made you melt because this boy was everything you could have asked for. You had placed all your trust on him and more. So if anything, he was the perfect person to be with during your life changing events. 

“Yes Pedro!” you stated confidently. “I am.”

“I can wait...” he murmured but you placed a simple peck on his lips. 

“I know.” you mimicked him by murmuring close to his ear. “I know because you’ve waited for months, for me.” another soft peck was pressed against his lips. “I’ve never felt pressured, or rushed or like I was not enough.” you got closer. “I know you can wait, but I’m not sure I want it...” you finally said, avoiding his eyes as a deep red colored your cheeks. 

He nodded, and that’s all it took for you to kiss him passionately, giving your soul into the moment. It began with a simple make out session, you knew how to handle that, what it was like. You had had many of them with Pedri, many where you even had the entire lead, so you exactly knew what to do. However, after some times, Pedri gently took the lead as he toppled you on your back, a hand behind your neck. And the work began: he slowly undressed you, taking the time to admire you, moving tenderly and taking steps after steps while making sure you were okay with everything. 

“You can tell me if you want to stop, alright ? Anytime.” he said seriously, meeting your gaze with such fondness. You could cry with the amount of love you felt. So you lightly nodded and brought your hands around his neck, mixing your breath with his. 

It hurt, it sure did, but it wasn’t entirely bad. Actually, there wasn’t just pain, there were other sensations that were new to you. The feeling of his feverish skin against yours, the goosebumps that would electrify your body, his muscles flexing under your hands, the soft pantings. It was so intimate, just between him and you. And, even though you couldn’t a hundred percent relax, you still enjoyed it. 

A shy wave of pleasure washed through you as Pedri was trying not to go too fast, not wanting to make it uncomfortable for you: you were oversensitive now. Not long after, he finally finished and dropped on top of you, sighing near your ear. You were drained, but still found it in you to wrap your armes around him, pressing your nose in his hair, taking in the soft scent of his shampoo. He hummed in contentment, his eyes closing. You looked around the room: your clothes had been dumped at the foot of his bed in a messy lump, and that made you blush. A picture of the two of you laughing was sticked on the wall, just above his desk, next to all the pink post-its you would leave in his room to tell him you loved him. Then your eyes went to the window, it was night and the streetlights reflected on the glass of the window but something caught your attention. Small white drops were slowly falling and you couldn’t believe it.

“Pedri!” you said excitedly. He hummed and you smiled calming yourself, that was the effect he had on you. “It snows” and he propped his head on your chest, checking his window. You could see his dark orbs sparkling, you loved it.

“It’s not near as beautiful as you” and you laughed, this man was crazy. 

☁️ 

I hope you liked it! English isn’t my first language so I hope I didn’t make too many mistakes!

Don’t be shy and tell me what you thought of it. 

PS: This was obviously protected sex, and IT IS REALLY IMPORTANT!! Kids, make sure to go out fully covered!

[littlemisspascal]

Rockford & Roan Pt. 6

Pairing: Tim Rockford x Female Reader/OFC ‘Roan’

Word Count: 2.2k

Summary: “You’re probably thinking, this is crazy. Being whisked away through a portal for a clandestine meeting with my match’s brother–what the hell is going on? Am I right?”

Rating: T. Heed the warnings y'all!

Warnings: Language, Reader has a dog, Reader has military background, Superpower AU, They Were Roommates AU, self-esteem issues, soulmates-ish, original characters, worldbuilding, sort-of threat of murder, Reader has a made-up place of birth, stress, anxiety, named Thief character

- Reader has no first name and no physical traits described in detail except for being shorter than Rockford. Reader is mentioned to have hair

Author Note: Thank you always for the kind support💗

Special thanks to @beecastle for beta reading and encouraging me 💜💜💜

Series Masterlist

The Brother

It takes a moment for you to shake off your shock, mutely staring at the man–Rockford’s brother, his flesh and blood relative–before stooping to reclaim Banjo's leash, giving it a firm tug. Your dog obediently, albeit begrudgingly, returns back to your side where he sits with a paw on your shoe. A hugely possessive action for such a small creature. 

The man in the floral robe (and what’s up with that? His entire outfit looks perfectly tailored, every last crisp detail painstakingly crafted to suit his broad frame) inclines his head, looking cordial if not for the slight calculating sharpness in his gaze. “You’re probably thinking, this is crazy. Being whisked away through a portal for a clandestine meeting with my match’s brother–what the hell is going on? Am I right?”

“Took the words right out of my mouth,” you say flatly, and he actually chuckles at that.

“When one is avoiding the attention of Timotheus Rockford, discreetness is the name of the game. Hence the one place he refuses to set foot in again.”

Well, that certainly doesn’t sound ominous at all. A memory flickers in the back of your mind of a knife stabbed into the apartment’s wall. Rockford’s first and to date only mention of his brother.

“Which is a shame,” the man continues with a put upon sigh, “because all his things are exactly where he left them in his room.”

“What?”

“Mamá insisted,” he says plainly, as if those two words are enough to erase your confusion. He scoffs then, nose scrunching. “No matter what I say, the old bat thinks her darling boy will find his way back home one of these days.”

Home? Rockford’s never struck you as the filthy rich type before—the man owns exactly one (1) ratty brown trench coat that he’ll probably take with him to his grave, for crying out loud. You’d assumed he’d had a modest upbringing similar to yours, but standing here in a lavishly decorated room larger than half of your childhood home…well. It’s crystal clear you were wrong about him.

Brown eyes narrow in consideration. “You seem upset.”

Your spine tenses up, not liking the shift in subject of the conversation. “Yeah well, you seem–”

Your empathy spasms painfully when you reach for it. A pins and needles sensation that has your fingers flexing instinctively. You can barely sense the faintest of glimmers from the woman’s mind behind you, empathy feeling strained as if she’s hundreds of miles away. Horror begins creeping into your bones as you turn your attention to the man who’s begun to smirk at you. 

“I was wondering when your soldier instincts would realize something was amiss,” he says, looking at you the same way you imagine a scientist looks at a microscope slide, putting you on edge.

Gritting your teeth, you sharpen what little of your mind-gift you can concentrate on into a blade. Even if you can’t pierce through all his defenses, at the very least he’ll have a migraine from hell.

But lashing out reveals no target. Just a blank, gaping void where his aura should be.

Your lips part in a silent gasp, all coherent thoughts fleeing your head. If you weren’t looking directly at him, you wouldn’t be able to tell he was here at all. How…how is that possible? 

Every living being has emotions, even those with the coldest of hearts can’t evade your mind-gift’s detection. And this man—this man wearing your match’s face—he’s obviously experiencing feelings. One look at the crinkled lines along the corners of his eyes, the flash of his white teeth in a smug grin, is proof enough. So why the fuck is he invisible to you?

“Who are you?” you ask, raking your gaze over him. 

“I answer to many names.”

“He’s a dramatic bitch,” the nameless woman chimes in with a voice like smoke and chocolate. Banjo growls a low, grumpy note, still distrustful of her. 

“Your commentary, as always, is much appreciated, Saturn, thank you.” The man’s tone is sharp, and his glare sharper. If looks could kill, Saturn would be a bloody stain on the floor right now. 

Instead, she shrugs off the retort like a duck flicking water off its feathers. “No problem, boss.” 

Your lips curl into an unimpressed scowl. “Who are you?” Then, more insistently, “What are you?”

“I’ll let you call me Cassius, Miss Roan. We are practically family, after all,” he says with a wryness that has your temper flaring hotly. “As for what I am, well. I like to think of myself as something of a master thief. It’s got a nice ring to it. Much better than a suppressor, in my opinion.”

A ripple of shock spasms across your face, heart lurching heavily in your chest.

Suppression is widely considered one of the rarest of gifts. Rare like one born every ten years kind of rare. You’ve only heard news stories about suppressors, how they can steal the abilities of others with just one look or touch. Sometimes for mere minutes. Sometimes for several years. They’re reported as heroes saving the day as often as they are criminals who need to be isolated from the rest of society.

Regardless of his relationship to Rockford, Cassius’ status as your ally or enemy remains to be determined. His personality leaves much to be desired, but really it all boils down to how long he intends to lock away your mind-gift.

Your empathy has always been a vital part of you. The way you can feel it fading away, a dying candle flame devoid of oxygen, makes your skin crawl. Reminds you of childhood summers at the beach, futilely grasping at sand slipping through the gaps of your fingers. You didn’t realize the full extent of how much you rely on your mind-gift until right this moment, forced to guess what Cassius’ is feeling just from his body language alone. Is this really how the rest of the population lives? You shudder at the thought. 

“Relax,” Cassius tells you, though it doesn’t have much of an effect. Not until he adds, “I won’t keep your mind-gift long. And if I really meant you harm I would’ve had Saturn portal you off a building.”

“Messy, but effective,” Saturn agrees.

Your eyes grow impossibly wider. (Did she just confess to murdering people? Surely she’s joking. Yeah. You’re gonna tell yourself she’s joking.)

“I really did just bring you here for a chat,” the thief says, ignoring his…assistant? Business partner? You haven’t quite pinned down what they are to each other, relying only on Saturn referring to him as ‘boss’ as a clue.

“Why?” you ask, voice still a little shaky before you make yourself take a deep, steadying breath. “Clearly you and your brother aren’t on the best of terms with each other. I matched with him, yes, but other than that I’m a nobody. Why waste time talking to me?”

“You don’t give yourself enough credit, Sergeant Roan. You’re far more interesting than any old nobody.” Cassius sticks his hands into the deep pockets of his robe, expression annoyingly inscrutable. “Born in Rabicano. Enlisted at eighteen. Discharged earlier this year following a lapse of control. Though you did manage to save your camp and fellow soldiers from falling into enemy hands during a midnight raid. You deserve kudos for that.”

Your lips purse, fighting to remain calm. Those details are supposed to be confidential, known only to you, the military, and Dr. Odair. 

“You’ve done your research. Good job.” You flash a sardonic smile. “Are you trying to scare me off? Is that what this is?”

“Not at all. On the contrary, I quite like you staying at 445D Albatross Lane. Gives you close eyes on Timotheus—his comings and goings, his health, his cases.” He pauses, wetting his bottom lip. “My sources tell me you’ve been searching for a new source of employment. I’d be happy to pay you a large sum of money.”

“In exchange for what?” you ask cautiously.

“Information,” Cassius answers, eyes gleaming. “Just…tell me what my brother’s up to. Despite our differences, I do care about him. Somewhat.”

“No. I’ll never be a spy.” You shake your head. Things may be strained between you and Rockford at the moment, but you’d never betray his trust. Not for all the money in the world. 

The thief blinks, something that looks an awful lot like surprise there and gone in the span of a heartbeat. You bite back a smug grin. It’s pretty nice being the one catching him off guard for a change.

“I haven’t mentioned a figure.”

“Don’t care.”

“You…don’t care?” Cassius echoes faintly, and it genuinely appears as if you’ve short-circuited his mind. He recovers quickly, squinting with a knowing air. “You’re protective of him.”

“He’s my match,” you say firmly. “And he’s my friend.”

There’s an awkward stretch of silence, nobody saying anything. Even Saturn doesn’t have a quip prepared. You find yourself wondering about Rockford, if he’s noticed you’re missing. You hope so. You hope even more to mend what’s been fractured. A long talk is in order once things wrap up here.

And then Cassius sighs—a single puff of air, yet it has the impact of a bullet hitting your gut.

For the first time since meeting him, his expression isn’t one of blankness or arrogance or humor at your own expense. No, it’s something else aging him several years, deepening the wrinkles of his brow, shoulders sagging from their perfect posture.

You’re scared to realize it might be disappointment.

“His friend? Nonsense. That tells me you don’t really know who he is.”

The moment Cassius says them, you want to take those words and stuff them down his throat until he chokes. Because that’s your biggest fear– plucked from the darkest corners of your being and exposed like an open wound to be mocked and prodded–that everything you’ve been learning about Rockford is wrong. No, maybe not everything, but the intimate details. All the itty bitty pieces gathered and studied and fitted together in hopes of understanding what makes Rockford Rockford. 

“It’s a work in progress,” you admit. “We’ve both got trust issues and baggage we don’t talk about. And maybe he’s got a bit of a head start with his gift when it comes to knowing me, but I can be patient. Good things come to those who wait, so they say. And he’s worth waiting for.”

Cassius hums, thoughtful, then asks you, “And if it’s not a good thing in the end. What then?”

You frown. “I don’t understand.”

“I think there’s another popular phrase you’d do well to remember.” He steps closer, indifferent to Banjo scampering onto four legs with a disgruntled woof and the way you bristle when he clasps your shoulder in a firm hold, thumb pressing down ever so slightly. An unspoken warning to shut up and listen. Leaning in even nearer, his mouth drifts mere inches above your cheek, breath warm, and then he’s whispering in your ear, “Ignorance is bliss. Be very careful, Miss Roan, which truths you seek to learn about my brother.”

You say nothing, staring at the wall over his shoulder, heart pounding in your throat.

When he steps back, hand dropping to his side once more, the thief is smiling again, dimpled and cheery, expression cleared of stoicism. “I’m glad to have finally met you. It was an enlightening experience. No need to worry about finding a cab at this hour, Saturn will drop you back safely at your apartment doorstep.”

The Card

Your second trip through one of Saturn’s portals is as chaotic and disorienting as the first time, but you land on your feet at least instead of rolling across the sidewalk. Even better, your arrival back home comes with the return of your mind-gift, rising like the first sunrise after months of pitch blackness, burning away the numbness plaguing your brain.  

The portal closes up behind you with a quiet whooshing sound, leaving you and Banjo alone on Albatross Lane, not another soul in sight. Banjo gives himself a full-bodied shake from nose to tail tip, yawning once he’s finished. Seems like you’re not the only one exhausted by the last few hours.

This night feels like one of the longest ones of your life, full of unexpected twists and traumatic trips down memory lane, culminating with perhaps the strangest encounter you’ve ever had with another human being. You’re still not sure what to make of Cassius. What kind of man offers to pay someone to provide information on his own brother? Is their relationship seriously so hopelessly broken that they can’t even fake a civil conversation on the phone like many siblings do? 

Only two people can answer those questions. And one of them’s a short elevator ride away. You can sense Rockford’s emotions from down here, almost like a distant thunderstorm on the horizon, rumbling with irritation.

You stick your hands into your jacket pockets, mentally bracing yourself for what’s next to come, but the discovery of something brushing against your fingertips makes you pause. Eyebrows scrunching, you pull out a green patterned playing card and flip it over to reveal the three of hearts. You’re baffled by its existence for all of five seconds before remembering Cassius’ abrupt closeness at the end of your conversation. A cover to hide his parting gift unnoticed. 

That settles it then. Mysteriousness must run in the Rockford family genes.

“C’mon boy,” you say to Banjo, stuffing the card away. The yellow door beckons you closer, friendly amongst the nightly shades of grays and blacks. It’s a shame what awaits you inside isn’t nearly as soothing. “One more conversation to go before we sleep.”

[ryuichirou]

Replies

A couple of replies, a longer one about fandom.

hadesdancehall asked:

BOKU NO RISOU NO ROI DE POISON DE WA I'M LOSING MY MIND OVER TETTERE!ROOK

YESSSSS YES YES I AM SO HAPPY YOU GET IT LOL Rook and Tettere are the same, the idea of this crossover was driving me crazy, I had to draw it. Look at him go, singing about continuously loving every single person until he finds the one…

Fun fact about this sketch: we have no idea why I drew Alte-Rose!Malleus there. It’s been a while since I drew this sketch, and I completely forgot… I guess she had to deal with this Tettere too, so it kind of fits lol

Anonymous asked:

I know you aren't really type to give information just gorgeous art. But in your last reply post you said you do traditional art and just coloured them digitally.

So I'm wondering... How do you do it!?

Because everytime I try to do that it looks so weird. I can't seem to get the colors as vibrant as I can when I'm only doing digital.

Thank you for praising my art! But Anon, I do give information :c I wrote a reply about this exact topic just a couple of days ago which is filled to the brim with links about everything in my art process + have a guide about exactly this topic.

Your colours might seem off for a number of reasons, it’s hard to tell exactly why by just guessing. It can be related to your software/display or directly to your choice of colours.

Anonymous asked:

Ryu, your dissatisfaction with Twisted Wonderland's age rating is very understandable! The game is allegedly a joseimuke game aimed at adult women, especially in light of the fact that this is a gacha game and that adults—who earn a regular income—will be the true target market. It's a little frightening that adults who play these kinds of games have to be so careful about how we express our affection for the characters lest we be labelled as predators or worse, p*dos. Making adult gamers feel bad for enjoying these "children" who are clearly meant to be adults. They're fictional, and most of them definitely don't look or act like boys their age. Some characters appear so mature; this really struck me as being university attendee coded. It's not like the ensemble is exclusively comprised of children, you know? The game revolves around attractive anime boys who are intentionally created to appear older than they actually are. Unfortunately, despite the fact that i enjoy Twisted Wonderland, it is the first fandom where i experienced Ageism in a fandom.

Trey is, if my memory serves me correctly, one of the most well-liked characters in the Japanese fandom (i remember there used to be a JP poll asking which character in Twist was the most loved). Most likely due to his personality, which again makes sense given that the majority of Twist users are grownups and Trey's portrayal of a character who, despite being a young adult, is quite mature.

Furthermore, even though I realise I'm going to sound like Idia, I detest how the "Normies" entered Nerd/Geek spaces after gaining popularity and then pretended to be uncomfortable with what they saw. You came to OUR space, dude! What did they expect?!

Anon! Sorry for replying late, and thank you! You’ve made so many very good points.

It really is an obvious joseimuke in how the game is written, how the game operates (the gacha system, like you mentioned) + even the type of merch that exists for this game. If you think about it, this is probably the best way to determine the actual target audience of any piece of media: just like Prince of Tennis is technically a classic Shonen Jump series, but all the merch they have is clearly aimed at adult women (purses, perfume, etc).

So yeah, even if that wasn’t the case, calling people predators over shipping themselves with Azul would be a bad thing to do, but in this situation especially it’s absurd to call people out for interacting with TWST pretty much the way it was indented…

What you said about the characters’ age and Trey specifically is so true. To be fair, this could be said about any joseimuke-like title with a big ensemble of boys, Prince of Tennis included. All the characters there are 12-15 years old, but god some of them look over 30.

I think it is important to keep in mind the intended age to a degree (= I dislike how the EN translation tries to dance around mentioning the boys’ age), and Twst does a good job at keeping these boys authentic when it matters, but it doesn’t mean that people won’t ship them with other characters or themselves. And no one questions it and no one finds it weird because it isn’t. It’s not that deep, it has nothing to do with how real teens look or act, this is a fantasy in people’s heads, it’s escapism, it so different and so far removed from the regular boring life it’s insane. It’s so difficult not to sound like Idia, SO I FEEL YOU ANON.  Someone called it the moe factor that some people just don’t get. So I guess it really is about people being normies sometimes lol I wish they would leave already.

[delicrieux]

I will NEVER be over twny… can we PLEASE have an ending where she comes back to life??? MOM PLEASE

tbh it'd be really complicated. the best case scenario is letting her rest or preventing her death in the first place. there's no real happy ending if she ever comes back

but let us indulge anyway

there are a plethora of scenarios that could happen, and it all really depends on the timeline (i typed out a whole essay; im sorry)

methodology:

i narrowed it down to 3 instances, but virtually, it could happen at any moment, since there are no rules. since i took inspiration from tomie (let's ignore the more gruesome aspects of her power, namely the mutations, murderous intent, and cloning), reader can rearrange herself from a single strand of dna... which means she could only grow in a place that either has the most of it concentrated or has any of it left. hence, she really IS immortal. there will always be something that could bring her back. a strand of hair in some unsuspecting corner beneath the couch and poof, she's back, baby

timeline:

directly after the death report is submitted

realistically speaking, since she's a very clean individual, it's unlikely that she'd appear in her room. most of her dna would likely be concentrated in gojo's dorm, which, hello, is terrifying. your dead gf just rises up one night and you think you're dreaming but she's really here

i don't think gojo could really take that without going through the 5 stages of grief again. he'd likely be so angry he wouldn't recognize it's actually her and attack. say he doesn't accidentally end her again and somehow restrains his first "what the fuck is this curse and why is it mocking me" reaction and actually believes her. he'd probably feel so betrayed he couldn't even look at her

then, it would come down to telling the others or not, and he'd need to make a decision fast. if he tells the higher ups and the staff, there's no telling what experiments they'd decide to perform. after all, we have a character that's immortal (almost kenjaku-esque, just without the brain jumping) with cells that can clone and heal. it's likely she'd be taken to a lab somewhere, which presents us with:

a) gojo goes coocoo coconuts and kills the higher ups, hence sending the jujutsu world in disarray. this ending would likely result in him becoming an unhinged yandere. bad ending

b) he tells the staff, they send reader to the labs. he never forgives himself, even if she's fine in the end. bad ending

b.1) in the same vein, reader goes through the experiments. she might end up hating sorcerers after that. she is a kind and fair person, but i doubt she could psychologically take it. reader becomes a curse user, and would likely (much later in the jjk timeline) be on kenjaku's side. very bad ending

c) he doesn't tell the staff and goes full yandere since he needs to hide her and make sure nothing happens to her again. it's likely she would never leave the gojo estate. bad ending

if he tells the staff and no one performs any experiments, he wouldn't be able to trust her for a long time if ever, because he would view her death as leaving him, much like suguru. the rest would also be heartbroken and likely never view her the same again, not exactly because of her powers, but because of the emotional impact she left. it's unlikely that gojo and her would get back together without it quickly becoming twisted in some way, because gojo couldn't emotionally take it. bad ending

2. getou's cult era

say it took longer for the cells to grow and gather again. she'd still be 20ish and gojo and getou would be 27/28. no one would believe it's actually her. i think she'd feel very lost and alone, and getou might go a bit coocoo coconuts and try to recruit her. if he succeeds (even via kidnapping), you can expect some yandere shit to occur. if he fails and satoru saves her, the experiment question comes up again. bad ending which ever way u look

3. the culling games

here i think she'd be drafted without really knowing what's going on. when examining the player names, the staff and megumi would likely see her name, which would lead to an immense amount of discord. megumi would be so pissed bro. again, no one would believe it's actually her

i think she'd also be more likely to meet yuji first and only see megumi again as sukuna. it would feel really weird for her to see anyone from old jujutech, since she'd still be 20ish while everyone else is almost ten years older

it's unlikely anyone that knew her previously would trust her. maybe yuji would vouch for her, but the rest would have some thoughts. either way, there's no scenario in which she and gojo end up together again in this case, doesn't matter if he lives or dies. he'd treat her more as a ghost and a memory, having a lot of mixed feelings. bad ending

conclusion:

this is not even taking into account if she would return without her memories, which adds a whole other spin. either way, she could never see her family again, and she would outlive everyone. i wouldn't be surprised if she eventually ended up like kenjaku. u could draw an interesting parallel with that.

let's say none of the bad stuff happens and everyone is happy to see her again and no experiments occur since this is an anime and we shouldn't take it so seriously. she would still outlive everyone, and eventually likely end up like kenjaku after a few centuries of simply existing, no matter how you twist the canon

[dogtoling]

what happens to inkfishs clothes/weapon when they go into swim form? do they just absorb it (sorry if this is a weird question)

This is a great forever question and mystery that everyone has been asking since splatoon 1 and we literally have never gotten any semblance of an explanation or answer to this nor has it ever been the slightest bit acknowledged.

My real-life explanation is that it's not something the developers have thought about because it's ultimately not an important thing to explain or think about in a cartoon video game, especially when acknowledging it and trying to work around it would limit their creativity on things like new weapon types and specials. The ink as it is in the games is treated like a hammerspace so if you look at it through the game lens, it makes sense.

However we know that doesn't actually work realistically even in the game's world, because it's been stated that Inklings can't jump with the Rainmaker because the rainmaker is heavy and very big. So there's confirmation that the weapons at the very least do not go into a hammerspace (or at the very least they still physically exist in some form). This is also indicated by your weapon's size directly affecting your swim speed. With this information, you absolutely shouldn't be able to jump with weapons like the Hydra Splatling or Dynamo Roller either because they're probably HEAVIER than the Rainmaker, and we know that even in squid form the weapons exist physically. Though they can still super jump because again Splatoon is a video game first and foremost and applying that kind of realism to a couple weapons and nothing else forcing some weapons to give up a central game mechanic wouldn't be balanced at all...

If you want to subscribe to the idea of Inklings staying liquid inside in squid form, you could have their body absorb the clothes and weapon. It would seem to support the animation of the clothes not being there in their mid-transformation form and then just popping in as their body solidifies. There's a lot of logic-based problems with Inklings turning liquid (such as not being able to sustain injuries despite several instances of there being Inklings with scars) and also how the clothes would pop back in the exact same correct position that quickly, how terrible it would feel to have plastic and rubber and like, metal, and spikes sometimes IN YOUR BODY, and how that would kill you immediately if you then stopped being liquid with any of that still in your body, or how putting your shoes inside your body would give you SO many infections at once, or... well you get the point. It's technically possible but only with MAJOR suspension of disbelief.

my current stance on the clothes and weapons is that they just Don't go anywhere. Until Nintendo comes out and explicitly says how it functions or outright states that there is hammerspace technology that allows for all that stuff to disappear and appear instantly, I want to follow the most likely and believable route even though it would make Turf Wars a lot less smooth. But that's also a sacrifice you make between having something as a Video Game and actually doing an activity in real life. You wouldn't wear a Fresh Fish Head and steel armor to real sports and expect to do particularly well, I don't think it's that unreasonable to assume that Turf Wars would require you to think about clothes that don't obscure you too much during gameplay when you're going in to play a very acrobatic sport.

The one kind-of-evidence we have for proper turf war hammerspace in the game are the special cans (we don't know how those work exactly) and the particle effects that appear with some of the specials like Crab Tank and Killer Wail, but you can't exactly say whether those are indicative of a real hammerspace mechanic or just that, particles.

[insomaniacat]

season 2 spoilers

It would make sense if Lu Guang, Cheng Xiaoshi and the unnamed antagonist person that can control other people’s bodies are representations of the same power, but as the past, present, and future

long post under the cut

Lu Guang

Lu Guang would be the ‘future’, since he is able to look into photos and videos (if I remember correctly from the Dou Dou kidnapping episode) and see the future after that photo takes place. While we don’t see exactly what he sees when he looks at these photos, it is outright admitted that he can only see the next 12 hours from that moment from the photo/video. Although this ‘future’ he sees could be the ‘present world’s past, it is still a future from that point in time the photo/video was taken.

How exactly Lu Guang’s power works? Who knows. All we see is his eyes turn blue and then suddenly has a verdict about whether a dive is capable or not. Does he actually live out the time within the photo somehow and when it’s done he returns back to his body in the ‘present world’, or is purely precognition, where info is transferred directly to him in an instant?

Although when he is linked with Cheng Xiaoshi, he probably is only able to observe as he is not able to feel or probably share any senses with Cheng Xiaoshi (also apparent in the Dou Dou episode where he doesn’t notice until too late that the ball has some sort of drug or something on it). Still, he has access to the ‘past’ through Cheng Xiaoshi in that photo and directly influence it through Cheng Xiaoshi.

Plus if those theories that Lu Guang came from the future is true (which this post honestly made me jump on that bandwagon because yeah, it makes sense, ESPECIALLY if he’s in the ‘present world’ because of Cheng Xiaoshi), it would make sense if Lu Guang is representation of ‘the future’.

Cheng Xiaoshi

Cheng Xiaoshi, obviously, is the ‘past’. He jumps back in time through photos/videos and physically live them out in either the photo taker’s body, or his own (again apparent in the Dou Dou episode when he jumps back through surveillance camera footage, among others). He’s the ‘executer’ of actions he and Lu Guang do in the ‘past’.

However, as he is linked to Lu Guang during his dives, he also has access to the ‘future’ in the photo, as Lu Guang is able to basically speak in his head and guide him. And while his and Lu Guang’s powers still deal with the same time period (12 hours after the moment in the photo), Cheng Xiaoshi still has to live through that time in the past, corresponding to 12 hours in the ‘present world’, and we see Lu Guang setting timers specifically for this reason.

Unnamed People Possessor

So in season 2 it was confirmed that this guy also needs to use photos to activate his powers. Great. Their powers are similar to Cheng Xiaoshi’s in which they can possess other people’s bodies. However unlike Cheng Xiaoshi, they can’t travel to the moment that photo was taken. Instead, they possess the person’s body where they are currently. In season 1 episode 10-11 when Cheng Xiaoshi tells them they’ll get a message at 10am the next day for their ‘game’, they obviously hadn’t known what the message would be until the next day, where at the same time in the ‘present world’ they enter the studio in Liu Min’s body where they face off against Cheng Xiaoshi, who just returned from the ‘past’. So this person would represent the ‘present’.

Since we still don’t really know the origin of their powers, and it’s implied in season 2 by the Unnamed People Possessor that there is a way to steal powers, then it maybe it’s also possible to split powers as well. Maybe that’s what happened to this power, splitting into the ‘past’, ‘present’, and ‘future’ between these three characters, which I think would be really cool

[balladetto]

colourful munday interview / no longer accepting / @gerudospiriit, @ordonianpumpkin, @sapientiiae, & anonymous

thank you all bunches for sending these in! ♡ had fun answering each one; all under the cut because i am not and will probably never be a concise person, ahaha

[ ruby ] give one random fun fact about yourself.

i can play two instruments! the piano and guitar, though i'd say i'm pretty rusty with both. given the practice, i think i could get back up to par again with the former? i formally learnt both in the sense that i know the rudiments of music theory and can still decently read notation, but that's about where the extent of my knowledge ends...hasn't stopped me from getting absolutely obsessed with the intricacies of instrumental osts when it comes to mechanics, aesthetics, leitmotifs, etc. asflkdsj

[ olive ] what gives you the most inspiration for your muse(s)?

it really depends on which muse i'm writing! in general, i like to revisit their canons (i.e. replaying their games or rewatching their movies) and examine all the details and overarching themes/motifs i can catch in them if i need a boost of the Muse Presence, but sometimes i'll take inspiration from completely unrelated media i've consumed that i feel could be applicable to my interpretations

e.g. i've been taking some tidbits from caine from jw4 for link recently, in that he's someone who knows his "role" in life, is really fucking good at playing it (however much he doesn't want to), and would give almost anything to escape it. even as he's totally settled into it! despite the myth he makes of himself in this one movie he shows up in, he's a ghost in his own world. he goes through the film reluctant to do the things he so easily does anyway, with his hand forced by the high table because he has someone he loves so deeply, yet at the end of it all: he's still afforded some measure of happiness because he was loved by someone so deeply in turn. these two are really not the same type of characters at all, but caine's Vibes are part of the Feel i want to communicate through link's story!

other times, i'll come across a fic (often not even for the same characters or media lskjdf) that gives me the worst brainrot and that'll flavour how i want to frame my writing and what i want readers to Notice for muses. but i otherwise tend to keep it contained to overanalysing canons! honourable mention @ my partner, for being the best sounding board and engaging with me on all my rambling ♡

[ navy ] what do your muse(s) mean to you?

they're my best friends, they're my pals, they're my homeboys (gender neutral), my rotten soldiers, my sweet cheeses, my good-time fellas—

they're my blorbos of all time! they mean so, so much to me!! especially the ones that have stuck around for nearly or exactly a decade like link, the zeldas, aidan, and gold; those were some rough (trans)formative years that they carried me through, and i had so much fun with them! i still am!! plus, the friends i make through writing these muses will always leave such an indelible impression on me no matter how many years pass (i am looking directly at people like issie and adri and kris as i say this sldfjdkf still leaves me gratefully gobsmacked that i found you again after so long!) ♡

[ mulberry ] what tips would you give someone with writer's block?

don't force it! try not to agonise over it. come back to it at some other point after you've gone and done something else that might be just as creative in nature (drawing, crafts, etc.). dip into your other hobbies if you have them! read. watch things, play games! consume as much as you've outputted! take care of yourself!!

above all, remind yourself that you're more than whatever writing you can give to anyone!

[ blonde ] what is your favourite type of music? favourite artist? favourite song?

hard to choose, because i don't have a genre i'm super dedicated to? ig if i had to pick based on what i generally listen to a majority of the time, my favourite type would be whatever category osts fall under askdjlf

i think it's also because of that that i tend to steer towards songs i can't understand without translations? if there are words i can pick out, i get a bit too distracted, and half the time my audio processing issues make it so that i only sort of make out most of the words, which distracts me on a different level sdkfjfl following that, my favourite artist(s) in terms of songs with lyrics would probably be yoasobi :) i listen to their pieces the most consistently!

ahhh...literally will never be able to choose a favourite song when i have so many! for the moment...i'll pick rito village, as played by kass and his sweetums!! it's just such a sweet rendition ♡ and i want more people to be reminded of it! lmao you thought me leaving my birdies for a hot second would get rid of the brainrot. absolutely not they've still got a Grip on me sldfksjdl

[ lime ] describe yourself as a character / mix of characters you've always related to the most.

minor npc in the protagonist of the series' life that's like. just a passing face, but has an entire life beyond saving the world that makes actually saving the world all the more meaningful by way of their story coming together with every other npc's to weave this feel of a world that's actually alive.

also! unnoticeable character, perhaps, but the protagonist of their own life :) slfkjfd sorry. zelda might've been a core part of my personality since childhood but mp100 changed my brain chemistry on a molecular level at ~sixteen. hard for me to leave its truisms and themes alone

[ azure ] is there a specific character or type of character you want to write but never have? why?

there are specific characters i've been hankering to write but just don't think my writing style will do them justice in terms of narrative voices OR don't feel very confident in my interpretation of those narrative voices in the first place, yeah! reigen arataka from mp100, kazuha kaedehara from genpact (who wouldn't be affiliated with the rpc at all now that i no longer play the game, which is another hurdle), and link from albw to name a few.

there's also the issue of my time and energy, and other writers' interest in interacting. maybe one day i'll bring one of these to the fold, but it won't be anytime soon sdlfkdjf

[ cherry ] what is one thing you love about yourself?

hmm. i'm very proud of my progress in terms of mental health recovery! dunno if that's something i'd say i love about myself though sflkdjf so maybe how in-depth i can go in terms of character analyses? at least for characters that i feel are really understated or don't often get to shine in fandom communities and such. i do love a majority of my muse interpretations (outside validation's alway nice ofc) — i wouldn't be able to write them otherwise!

[ cerulean ] what is your favorite (type of) character to write?

i know the person who sent this in wants me to say the truth so here it is slfkjdkl i really like writing characters who did not get the resolution or healing they should've gotten from their trauma in their canons. i like exploring what that does to them and what healing might look or not look like for them. i especially loveeee collecting dynamics for them because that's ultimately what heals everyone, isn't it? that outside support and care :) it's cathartic to write, and i hope it's meaningful to read for my writing partners when we really get into the nitty gritty of it!

[ apricot ] what do you think your life will be like in ten years?

happy? happy. i don't tend to mull on the specifics so much. though i'd like to think i'd still be writing, at least! there are some other really personal things i'm not super comfortable with sharing in a public space, but to the one who sent this in: i hope i'll still be with you. i hope we'll get to be together not just in our hearts. i hope we'll have physically built up lives of our own ♡ sorry for getting disgustingly sappy but i love my loveliest lady!! slfkjdl

[ fuchsia ] bonus round: angst or fluff? one-liners or paras? plotting or winging it? memes or starter calls? single muse or multimuse?

i like reading and writing both, with a slightly heavier inclination towards fluff! paras unless it's shenanigans. i vibe with both, but work better with prior plotting! either is good and i do not mind them! i do have a preference for running multimuses now just because it makes it less of a hassle when you've got multiple blorbos bouncing around in your head, though love interacting with both!

[babyloniastreasure]

https://www.tumblr.com/thegoodthegrandandtheugly/737819072394412032

Looking at that confession as Urukian lover and Mahabros lover I am torn between

"those fights are dope this is gameplay adaptation you can't expect them to be historically accurate" and

"I also think the distance that Fate franchise put between Gil and Enkidu is ridiculous these two's PDA are downright insufferable in the epic also getting tired with Fate pointlessly chaining Karna Arjuna on the hip while refuse to explore their relationship with Kauravas and Pandavas seriously why did you make Duryodhana and Bhima summonable servants and still fujobaiting 2 brothers who geniunely hate each other before they get the whole murdery outta their system"

There is definitely a delicate balance between the way Fate depicts fights between certain characters and how those fights would have gone outside of Fate's characterization. Fate, however, tends to lean only on its own writing and very rarely takes the source material into account, which means we should probably keep our expectations low and remember that this is not going to be accurate to begin with

For that reason I don't have any strong feelings about how Gilgamesh and Enkidu's/Junao and Super Karna's fights were depicted. Like, I understand where the frustration comes from, because I'm a huge advocate for accuracy and wish Fate would be more accurate. I've rambled about inaccuracies re: The Epic of Gilgamesh and Fate many a time. But within Fate's own characterization, it makes WAY more sense for Gilgamesh and Enkidu to fight at long range than it would be for them to wrestle. Gilgamesh is an Archer who is big and flashy and likes to make a show out of his power. He can't very well do that when he's up close and personal with someone. He honed his technique and this is how he chooses to fight at his peak of power. Likewise, Enkidu is going to try and best Gilgamesh at his own game--which is a ranged battle. They are both dramatic show offs, constantly trying to best the other and gloriously as possible. But for them it's more like a game, it's admiration, its nostalgic. So they'll fight in a way that allows them to see the full power of the other and take all of that in as much as possible. You can see much more of your beloved in all of his glory when you're looking at him from a distance.

The same goes for Junao vs Karna fighting in melee rather than at range. It makes sense given the characterization and context. They want to kick each other's ass so very, very badly, and it's much more fulfilling to settle a lifelong grudge when you're right up in your opponent's face when you deal those heavy blows. When you're fighting that close to someone, there's tension, there's desperation, there's emotion. You feel your weapon crash against and cut through your opponent, you don't get that with ranged fights. It's deeper, its more satisfying, it's more devastating. Junao and Karna have deeply personal feelings and reasons for fighting each other, it's more fitting for them to demonstrate their resolve and prove their power while looking the other directly in the eye.

That face-to-face desperation also creates a higher risk because neither Junao NOR Karna are typically close-range combatants. Karna is mid range at best, but even still his style is typically getting in close to the enemy so they cant use ranged attacks against him. Considering this, if Karna is getting in close, Junao would have to retaliate at the same close range. And we know Arjuna/Junao is skilled with any manner of weapons and combat styles, so it's not exactly inaccurate for him to be able to fight Karna at close range anyway.

I suppose it's less about historical accuracy or artistic depiction, and more about looking at how the Fate characters fight and how they'd react to whoever made the first move in that fight. Because again, this is Fate. Neither the characters themselves nor their Fate-narratives are accurate. Why would they bother with historical accuracy now?

But perhaps I have read too much into it or missed the point altogether lmao

In my humble opinion, we as Fate fans need to stop comparing Fate's adaptation of heroes to their source material, because we only hurt ourselves by doing so. As unfortunate as that is

I do agree that Arjuna and Karna should stop being so attached at the hip though. I'd love nothing more than to see their relationships with other Mahabharata servants flourish independently of the other. We can only hope that one day Yudhishthira will become summonable and bring balance to Chaldea

[clericofshadows]

Do you mind sharing the tea about Regis and Garrus

I don't mind at all, anon :)

tbh a lot of Regis's feelings on Garrus are an extension of my own feelings which are: I don't like him and I find him boring and annoying. and a bit whiny about "justice" and shit.

but to look at it from Regis's perspective in a rambling post under the cut:

In ME1, Regis does not follow up on Garrus's lead first. He finds Wrex and Tali first, which is sufficient enough for him, and gets ready to go on the mission as a new Spectre. Garrus will stop you at the elevator if you didn't recruit him and stays in C-Sec if you change your mind. Regis refuses his offer, saying he works best with a smaller team (which is true, he hates the large group in ME2 even if it is technically necessary). With his newfound powers, back on the Normandy, he pulls up Garrus's C-Sec file, and based on comments his father made in Garrus's comic, Regis refuses to entertain the idea of recruiting him after reading about his disregard for rules all for his idea of justice.

He casts Vakarian out of his mind, and is essentially forgotten by the end of Saren's mission.

In ME2, Regis recruits Archangel fairly early on after getting Zaeed, Kasumi, and Mordin on his crew. He doesn't necessarily like the idea of recruiting a vigilante, but maybe there's more to the story.

And well, we all know how the recruitment mission goes. Regis doesn't immediately recognize Garrus, and instead asks who he is, only getting a vague recollection. Vakarian jogs his memory, and Regis has a moment where he wonders why the hell a C-Sec officer decided going to Omega is a good idea but casts the thought aside for now.

After the mission, he gives Vakarian medical attention and after he heals up, he sizes him up. He confronts him directly about his C-Sec file and some of his cases that Regis read about, recalling what he saw in his file. From there, it is basically a clash of ideas and differing morals/opinions, Vakarian assuming that as the Butcher of Torfan and generally having more 'renegade' tendencies that they would be of the same mind, but in reality, Regis refuses to sacrifice civilian lives and will always look for another way if at all possible. He's not as "murderous" as people think he is. Torfan was a choice he made knowing he'll be sacrificing Alliance lives, but he did it because he knew it would save far more lives in the end. The soldiers knew the score. Civilians don't. (Which makes Zaeed's loyalty mission something very interesting to tackle, especially as Regis and Zaeed are becoming lovers again. I have some ideas for that).

Their relationship comes to a head in the loyalty mission, and Regis refuses to entertain the idea of being part of an execution without having all the details, so he more or less tells Vakarian that if you want his help, you'll listen to him.

So, when Regis tries to signal him to stand down and not shoot Sidonis, Garrus does it anyway, thus making him effectively "un-loyal" and Regis keeps him out of his main squad rotation since he couldn't follow a basic order. I wish more of the loyal missions had fail conditions like this, would've made the game more interesting IMO, especially if you never took them on missions and so they wouldn't necessarily trust you the same way another character who had been on more missions.

Anyway, as my suicide mission is not perfect and well, it's not a golden outcome, Garrus dies as the crew escort, Grunt dies on the hold the line segment, and Legion dies as one of the squadmates part of the final fight. All thanks to Risky Suicide Mission lol. Will it happen exactly like that in Regis's fics? Probably not, but that's how it happened in game.

I effectively ignore Garrus in my playthroughs, so that's basically what Regis does. Not as much drama as the Liara stuff, but still, even on my non-Regis playthroughs he never gets recruited and dies on the suicide mission, since it's the only way to remove the forced best-friend bullshit between them that I don't like.