#If Sirius ends up rolling down the stairs

[moonlightspencie]

tenderly, tragically

Description: Silly, lifelong best-friendship leads to a lot of meaningless teasing. Though, sometimes teasing comes from a place of truth. It’s just that sometimes, those getting teased are the last to know why.

Pairing: Best friend!James Potter x fem!Reader

Warnings: fluff, some angst, smut 18+ (p in v, praise kink, whiny james, size kink, first time for both), drinking, its really idiots to lovers

Word Count: 7.8k (just fluff): 9.4k (smut)

A/N: smut is at the end, and there’s a warning before it starts since it’s kind of like an alternate ending/extra bit. if you JUST want fluff, it ends at a good point for that before the smut starts :) ALSO: as with all of my marauders fics, characters are aged up (19-20)

fic playlist

“Jamie,” I squeal a laugh, chasing after him.

He laughs, continuing to out-run me. The bastard.

“Not my fault you’re slow,” he calls back. “Catch up, love, or you’ll get caught.”

I run harder, jumping on his back when I get close enough. We both knew he’d slowed down to let me get closer, but neither of us bothered to mention it. He laughed, holding onto my legs as they wrapped around his waist, slowing until he was walking.

“You’re going to get us caught, you know that?”

I snort a laugh. “Please. There wasn’t even anybody there.”

He rolls his eyes playfully, finally dropping me from his back, and instead slinging an arm around my shoulders.

“They could have, though.”

“But they didn’t,” I say pointedly. “Besides, Remus, Peter, and Sirius are still actually in the Slytherin dorms. Lousy look-outs we are because of you.”

He chuckles, walking us towards the stairs.

“They’ll be fine,” he shrugs with a cocky smirk. “Besides, I doubt even most of the Slytherins would object to a little prank on Snivellus.”

I hum, nodding a little. “I guess. Still. You’re a bad friend.”

“You ran too,” he accused, his brow furrowing. “Don’t go and pin all this on me.”

“You told me to run!”

“You didn’t have to listen!”

I scoff, shaking my head. He gives me an irritated look, but pulls me a little closer under his arm. We get into the common room, and without even asking, he starts ushering me to their dorm room.

“Why?” I ask, knowing he knows what I’m asking.

“Sue me for wanting to spend some time with my life-long friend,” he says, quirking a brow.

I push him away from me, but he doesn’t really let me get far. He opens his door, pushing me in first. I immediately flop onto his bed face-first.

“Not complaining now, are you?” he asks, laying next to me.

“Not my fault your bed is so comfy,” I say, my voice muffled by the mattress.

I feel the mattress dip, and look up to see him also turned on his stomach, right next to me.

“If you really wanted to get me alone this bad you could’ve asked,” I say with a wink.

He rolls his eyes, but a smile gives him away.

“Please. I know you’re secretly hoping for it, but we both know that’s never going to happen.”

“Me?” I laugh. “As if. What would I do with a quidditch player?”

He scoffs, an offended look on his face.

“I’ll have you know that I am very desirable, and half of that has to do with the fact I’m the seeker, thank you.”

I roll my eyes. “Uh huh. And what’s the other half?”

“You seen this face?” he asks, a cocky smirk on his lips.

“Unfortunately I have.”

“You’re mean,” he says, a laugh breaking up his attempt to be offended.

He pushes me a bit, but I hardly budge. I laugh at his attempt, but apparently that was the wrong thing to do. He perks up, trying harder to fully push me off the bed, now.

“Hey!” I say in protest, fighting back against him.

He laughs, both of us practically fighting as he keeps trying to push me off. I see an opportunity a moment later and take it: I grab onto one of his arms with both of mine.

“Ha!” I say loudly. “Can’t push me off now unless you also fall off.”

He pauses, then an evil smirk comes onto his face. My face drops as I realize what he’s about to do. He scoots over, dropping both of us onto the ground. I squeal as we fall, and I end up taking the brunt of the fall as he lands on top of me.

“You should never threaten me with a good time. You know I can’t resist,” he says, not bothering to alleviate the pressure of his body pinning me down.

I groan. “You suck. I didn’t think you’d actually push both of us off just to get me.”

“Then you don’t know me very well,” he replies with a quirked brow.

“Please. I know you better than anyone and you know it.”

He opens his mouth to snark back at me, but the door opens before he gets a chance.

“You two are the worst,” Sirius says, clearly out of breath. Then, he scoffs as more footsteps follow behind him. “And look at this! They ran off on us to… Canoodle on the floor.”

I furrow my brow, pulling a face as I try to see him around James.

“Canoodle?” I repeat in disgust.

James finally starts getting off of me, kneeling on the ground next to me as I start pulling myself up. Remus and Peter give us a look.

“We’re not… canoodling, and you can blame Prongs for us ditching. He’s the one who took off running and told me I had to, too.”

Remus quirks a brow at that as Sirius goes to sit on his bed.

“You didn’t have to listen to him,” Peter pipes up.

“That’s what I told her,” James says, giving me a self-satisfied look.

I make a sour face at him, pushing his arm a little. He pushes me back, and I straighten up. Though, Remus must notice that look on me.

“Don’t you two start up again,” he says, pointedly looking between us. “If I have to watch you two flirt any more I might throw up.”

“We’re not flirting,” James grumbles. “She’s just fun to mess with.”

“Mm. And you’re just easy to win a fight against,” I add.

He looks at me quickly. “You didn’t win the last one.”

“Because you pushed us both off the bed!” I exclaim.

“Oh, shut it, you two,” Sirius says, his arm draped over his face. “We’ve been back for three days and you’re already acting up.”

I snort a laugh at Sirius’s annoyance, climbing back onto James’s bed. I sigh with my face in the pillows, feeling him climb over me to get to the other side a second later.

“You got us in trouble,” he whispers.

“Your fault, not mine,” I reply.

“You’re the one who insulted my perfect face.”

“You’re the one who pushed me first,” I argue back.

“Oi!” Sirius calls out again, leaving us both laughing.

Our first few weeks of school go off without a hitch. The boys continue pulling their little pranks, occasionally dragging me along with them. I settle into my space this year, glad to still have Lily, Marlene, and Dorcas as my roommates. We always tended to get along quite well.

I start reading a new book one night, absolutely enraptured with the story, probably even more so considering it’s helping me to avoid the homework that I really should be doing. I get through the first couple chapters before I notice Lily staring at me.

“What is it, Lils?”

“Can I tell you something?” Lily asks suddenly.

She looks around the room, seemingly to make sure the other girls are really gone for whatever she’s about to say.

I look at her over my book. “Sure.”

“Promise not to tell anyone?”

I nod. “Promise.”

She sighs, sitting up a little straighter. “I think I have a thing for someone… Well, for James.”

My eyes widen. “Really? You wanted nothing to do with him a little while ago.”

“I know. I just… I don’t know. Maybe I’m just bored or something, but I’ve been thinking about telling him.”

I nod. “Yeah. You should.”

“Really?” she asks, surprised.

“Why not?”

She smiles to herself. “Yeah. Why not? Do you think he’ll say it back?”

I shrug. “I don’t know. Maybe? He did have a crush on you before.”

She hums to herself. I laugh a little, shaking my head.

“I think I’ll do it tomorrow. Better to do it sooner than later, yeah?”

“Yeah, I guess so,” I shrug noncommittally. I really just wanted to get back to my book.

“You don’t even care,” she groans after a moment.

“This is a really good book, Lils,” I laugh.

“Fine. I’ll stop bothering you.”

“Thanks,” I smirk to myself.

She scoffs again, though I know she isn’t really offended. I wish her good luck as we head off to our classes that day, knowing she was planning on telling James sometime in the morning.

I end up finding him later, though I try not to press for answers the second I do. We sit on the grass in the late afternoon, watching some first years play a little quidditch match for fun. It’s uncharacteristically warm outside, and the sun shines down on us. After half an hour of watching the kids play, I glance at James.

“I wanna show you something,” I say suddenly, standing.

James looks up at me in confusion. “I’d prefer not to move.”

I roll my eyes, crossing my arms over my chest.

“It’s a nice day. Sunny and no clouds. Please, just follow me?” I ask, almost whining. “Promise you’ll like it.”

He leans back on his hands. “How do you know?”

“Because I found a secret place in the woods, and you’ll be the first person besides me to see it,” I offer.

He quirks a brow. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. Now get up.”

He grumbles to himself as he gets up, following me as we walk towards the woods. I start leading him through the trees towards the destination I had in mind.

“What were you even doing in here? It’s dangerous,” he says quietly.

“I was fine. Just had a long day and wanted to explore. It was in the daytime anyway,” I say matter-of-factly.

He hums to himself, clearly dissatisfied that I went out here by myself. But as I finally lead him to our destination, his annoyance wears off.

“Whoa,” he says, his eyes a little wide.

I smile. “See? Told you it would be worth your while.”

He looks on at the small clearing. There’s a little pond with clear water, the space in the trees allowing some sunlight to reflect on the water. It looks peaceful at least, and nearly-heavenly at best. I look at him expectantly.

“How’d you find this?” he asks, squatting by the water. He dips his hand it. “Whoa. It’s warm.”

I nod, still standing. “I found it when I was exploring, like I said. A few weeks ago. I charmed the water to stay warm, so I’ve been out here two or three times to swim. Thought I’d show you before it gets too cold.”

He smiles, standing up. “You want to go swimming? You didn’t bring any—”

His eyes widen as he finally looks at me. At this point, I’ve already started taking off my robes and my shirt.

“What?” I ask, brows furrowed. “You act like you’ve never been around me getting dressed. We’ve been friends since we were like six years old. Now, hurry up. Faster you get undressed, the faster we get to swim.”

He rolls his eyes at me, begrudgingly taking off his clothes, even though part of him still looks excited that I’d found such a nice little place.

I start wading in once I’m down to my underwear, the water feeling nice and warm in contrast to the slightly-cool air. I hear him come in after me in a moment, and turn to watch him.

“Nice, isn’t it?”

“Can’t believe you were hiding this from me,” he says, hiding a smirk.

“Oh, please,” I reply, floating on my back in the water. “You’re lucky I showed you at all. Nobody else knows about this. You should feel honored.”

I hear him hum and splash around a little, though my eyes are closed. I bask in the warmth of the sunlight on my face.

“Did Lils talk to you today?” I ask after a few minutes of silence.

“Yeah.”

I upright myself, looking at him as he aimlessly walks around in the water.

“And?”

He glances at me, giving a shrug. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” I press, furrowing my brow. “What’s that supposed to mean? What did you guys talk about?”

“I have a feeling you already know,” he snorts a laugh.

I roll my eyes, wading closer to him. “So she told you?”

“Yep.”

“Well, what happened? What did you say?”

He sighs dramatically. “Does it matter?”

I splash him a little. “I’m gonna hear about it no matter what. She’s my roommate. Just wanted to know from you before I see Lily later.”

“Told her I wasn’t interested,” he says quietly, splashing me back a little.

I pause. “Why? You always had a massive crush on her.”

“Not in, like, a year,” he says.

“So you just rejected her?”

“I didn’t reject her,” he furrows his brows, looking away from me. “She told me she liked me, and I just told her I wasn’t into her like that. She didn’t ask me a question, so it wasn’t a rejection. Just being honest.”

I groan. “Jamie, she’s going to kill me. I’m the one who encouraged her to tell you.”

His eyes widened. “Why the hell would you do that?”

“I thought you liked her!”

He pauses for a moment, then splashes me again, this time fully soaking me. I scoff a laugh, in shock as the water hits me. I glare at him, then splash him back just as hard. He starts going on the attack, practically throwing the water at me repeatedly.

“You absolute tosser,” I say, continuing to splash back, though I can’t help but laugh.

I start backing up as we both continue, now laughing and barely able to see with how rapid-fire we’re going. Eventually, I turn and start running for the shore as much as I can while being chest-deep in water. I squeal as I hear him closing in on me.

“No, no, no,” I laugh, getting closer and closer to safety.

“Should’ve thought about trying to run a little harder, love,” James says back, still giggling to himself.

He catches up to me when the water is finally below my hips, and grabs around the waist, pulling both of us backwards. The water goes over our heads for a moment, and I gasp out a laugh as we emerge again. He sits us up in the pond.

I turn in his arms, smacking him lightly on the chest. “You’re awful!”

“You love me,” he smiles brightly, still sitting on the ground in the shallow water. He pulls me in a little closer. “You’re just mad that I won.”

“Still can’t believe you said you didn’t like her,” I say, brushing some of his wet curls away from his eyes.

“Not gonna lie to the girl,” he shrugs, swatting away my hand.

“Still. I thought for sure you’d be excited.”

“Hm. I don’t know. Maybe a couple years ago, but not anymore.”

“At this point I’m convinced you’re driving girls away on purpose. When was the last time you dated someone?” I laugh.

He looks at me, mockingly offended. “Excuse me?”

“What?” I exclaim, still laughing. “Last girl I remember seeing you with was some Ravenclaw a few quidditch wins ago, and even then, you were just sucking face because you were drunk.”

He finally pushes me away from him, trying to hide a smile. I chuckle, gaining my bearings, and finally landing comfortably on my knees in the water a foot away from him.

“You wouldn’t be so offended if I were wrong,” I tease.

“Yeah? And when’s the last time you dated somebody?”

I scoff. “You scare off every boy who tries to ask me out.”

“Cause they’re all ridiculous,” he states, making a face. “Are you seriously telling me you wanted to go out with that Johnny kid from Hufflepuff?”

I smirk. “Touché. But still, it’s not my fault I’m not dating anyone. You, on the other hand…”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he quirks a brow.

“You’ve got all kinds of girls chasing after you. What’s your excuse?”

He pauses for a moment, then smirks. “Who else would waste all their time with you if I were too busy with some girl? You’d be all alone. I’m doing you a service by staying single.”

“Please. You and that ego, I swear,” I shake my head. “I have plenty of friends outside of you.”

“I’m the best one, though,” he says, a brow raised with a cocky smile.

I make a face, then splash him once more for good measure.

“That’s it,” he mumbles, tackling me.

I yell a little with a laugh as his arm wraps around my back and drops me onto the bank where the water was scarce. I keep my head propped up as much as I can, though the rest of me is still covered in a little bit of water. It doesn’t help that James is pressing me into the ground.

“Admit it. I am the single greatest person you’ve ever met.”

I laugh again. “In your dreams.”

“Not letting you up until you admit it.”

“Guess we’re stuck here forever, then,” I argue back.

“Guess so,” he says plainly, dropping his full weight on me. I groan, my breath getting squeezed from me. “Best to make myself comfortable, then.”

“You’re so heavy,” I whine.

He chuckles, just quietly observing me for a moment. I tilt my head in question as he doesn’t snark back. He swallows, a small smile still on his face, but a little bit of color now in his cheeks. My eyes widen a little bit.

“Jamie—”

He doesn’t give me a chance to get anything else out, his lips pressing to mine softly. I freeze, in shock at the sudden change of circumstance. My best friend is kissing me. He stays there for a moment, and only pulls away when he realizes I wasn’t kissing him back, his cheeks taking on a deeper shade.

“I’m sorry, I don’t…” he shakes his head, looking at me with his lips still parted. “I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry.”

He gets off of me quickly, getting out of the pond and back to where we left our clothes. He casts a drying spell on himself and starts getting dressed. Meanwhile, I’m still in the water, feeling like I’m stuck. I swallow with a dry throat, turning to see him starting to pull on his pants. I finally get up, quickly moving towards him.

“Jamie—“

“I’m sorry, I don’t know why I did that,” he shakes his head, not looking at me.

I let out a frustrated groan. “We have to talk about that, James.”

“Not right now. Just,” he sighs, looking at me quickly. He takes out his wand again, casting that same drying spell on me. “Get dressed. We don’t want to miss dinner.”

I stare at him for a moment as he continues putting his clothes on, then finally move to get mine on. We finish getting dressed in an uncomfortable silence, that kiss playing on repeat in my mind. Why would he do that?

I look at him when I’m done to see him staring at his shoes, his hands shoved in his pockets. I walk nearer to him, though he takes half a step back when he notices. I furrow my brow.

“Don’t start that.”

“Start what?” he asks, his voice uncharacteristically quiet.

“Pulling away from me,” I say, grabbing his arm and tugging him closer to me. “I don’t know what just happened, but I’m not going to lose you as a friend all because you—”

“I’m not pulling away from you,” he rolls his eyes. “I just— I don’t want to… I’m embarrassed. I shouldn’t have done that.”

“You don’t need to be embarrassed.”

He scoffs. “Right, because there’s nothing embarrassing about trying to kiss your best friend while she looks at you like you’re crazy.”

I sigh. “I just didn’t know what was happening. You’ve never done anything like that before.”

He looks away, chewing at his lip. “Can we just forget about it? I really don’t… I didn’t mean to.”

I fall quiet for a minute, trying to gather my thoughts, but they’re all seeming to escape me. I let go of his arm, taking in a deep breath.

“You know I love you, right?” I ask.

He nods. “Yeah. I know.”

“Okay. Yeah, we can forget about it,” I nod. “You want to go get dinner, then? I heard a rumor they’ll have those apple tarts you like.”

He looks at me, smiling a little bit. “Yeah?”

I nod again, smiling back. “Would I lie?”

He chuckles a little, nodding towards the way we came into the woods. I start leading the way back out until we see the castle again. He catches up to me at that point.

“Sorry again,” he says quietly.

“About what?” I ask, raising a brow. “All I remember is us swimming around. Unless you’re apologizing for tackling me in the pond, in which case, you’re forgiven only if you get me some chocolate frogs next time we’re in Hogsmeade.”

He smiles a little. “Yeah. Promise I will.”

“Good,” I say, knocking into his shoulder a little.

He nudges me back. Of course. I go a little harder the next time I knock into him, until we’re both practically pushing one another over as we head towards the castle. He gives me a particularly hard shove, barely catching me by the arm before I actually fall to the ground. We’re out of breath from laughing when we finally get to the castle, feeling wonderfully back to normal by the time we reach the Great Hall.

We walk up to the marauders, taking our usual seat across from the three boys.

“Hey,” I greet.

“Where were you two for the past hour?” Sirius asks with a quirked brow.

I snort a laugh. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“I would, considering we saw you wander off into the forest,” he says, leaning forward on his arms with a smirk.

I roll my eyes. “None of your business.”

“Always so secretive,” Remus says, stabbing a few potatoes on his fork before looking between us.

I glance at James who laughs as soon as we make eye contact. Though, I also catch another pair of eyes when I turn towards him, and wince a little. Lily looks at me with her brows furrowed from a little ways down the table. I shrug at her, unsure why she looks upset with me. She rolls her eyes, going back to her conversation with Dorcas. I sigh.

“Great. Now Lily’s mad at me because you had to go and turn her down,” I say to James.

Peter laughs. “He turned her down?”

“When did this happen?” Remus asks, looking much more curious now.

“You need to learn how to shut it,” James says to me, his voice a little high as he shakes his head.

“They would’ve found out anyways,” I say, barely feeling sorry at all.

I hold back from chuckling as James is pelted with questions from the boys, focusing more on my food and trying to ignore the occasional sour glance I get from Lily.

Though, I couldn’t escape her forever.

I walked into my room after a night of sitting around with the boys and Marlene in the common room. I thought I would be going to bed and falling asleep, but clearly it was wishful thinking. Lily stared at me from her bed as Marlene and I shut the door behind us.

I raised a brow. “Hi?”

Marlene looked between us, excusing herself to take a shower. The traitor.

“What the hell?” Lily said, crossing her arms.

“Yeah, what the hell? Why have you been giving me sour looks all day?”

She scoffed. “You told me to tell him, and you know what he did? Oh. Wait, of course you know. Because of course he already told you. Because of course—”

“Oh my god, Lily,” I roll my eyes, going to sit on my bed next to hers. “I’m sorry that I was wrong about how he’d react, but I had no clue. I thought he still had a thing for you.”

She huffs a sigh. “I should’ve known you were setting me up. What, do you like to see me embarrassed?”

“If I did, I would’ve gone along to watch it happen,” I say, annoyed at her attitude. “Sorry I was wrong, but I didn’t know. And you said you wanted to tell him, anyways.”

“You don’t seem to be that sorry considering you were back to hanging around him again all day.”

“He’s my best friend, Lily. I’m not going to ditch him because he didn’t have feelings for you,” I say, shaking my head.

She stands up suddenly. “Well, maybe you should. Maybe if you weren’t like… In love with him, you’d be a better friend to me.”

I stare at her in annoyance. “You need to get a grip. I wouldn’t have encouraged you to try telling him if I was ‘in love’ with him. We’re friends. You’re being insane.”

“Well, clearly he at least has feelings for you!”

I furrow my brow. “Excuse me?”

“Why else would he reject me?”

I laugh against my better judgement. “Are you serious? One boy doesn’t like you, so it just has to be because he’s in love with someone else? Lily, I love you, but that is the most egotistical thing you’ve ever said.”

“But you’re not denying it.”

“James isn’t in love with me. Have you considered that he just doesn’t like you anymore? It happens. People move on,” I say, sighing. “Just… Go to bed, Lily. This is a ridiculous and pointless argument.”

I lay back on my bed, closing my eyes while I wait to get into the bathroom. I hear Lily mutter something under her breath, but choose to ignore it. The more she got angry with me, the less I cared that she got her feelings hurt. I didn’t want to be unsympathetic, but it was getting hard to be concerned when I was blamed for a boy not liking her. Obviously James didn’t like me.

Obviously.

I think.

He did kiss me.

I open my eyes, staring at the ceiling for a moment. James didn’t like me, did he? He’d never shown interest in me before. That kiss probably just happened because he was confused. He wanted to forget about it, anyways, so clearly that had to mean he didn’t mean it. And I didn’t feel that way about him anyways, so it didn’t matter.

Except, I did feel my heart pound a little differently when he looked at me before the kiss.

I didn’t hate the way his lips felt.

Seeing him smile at me on the walk back did give me a few butterflies.

But, no. That’s nothing. He’s my best friend, I wouldn’t suddenly start feeling that way about him. I couldn’t. It’d be ridiculous.

It’s not like I’d spend the rest of the night thinking about him. Except that I did. A lot.

I woke up the next morning, feeling like I was going insane. I’d never felt that way about him before. Of course, I always though he was attractive. How could anybody look at him and not think he was gorgeous? But there was never anything more besides friendship. So why could I not stop thinking about him?

My eyes feel heavy as I sit in my last class of the day, James trying repeatedly to mess with me throughout the class. With five minutes left, he leans in closer. Since when did he start smelling so good?

“Hey,” he says quietly, drawing my attention. “What’s wrong? You’re not getting mad at me.”

“Just tired, Jamie,” I shrug, staring at the notes on the chalkboard that I haven’t copied down.

“That’s a lie. I can tell.”

I sigh. “Have you ever… Has anyone ever told you something about yourself that you thought wasn’t true, and then… And then you realize they might be right?”

He furrows his brows. “How do you mean?”

“I don’t know. Like, let’s say someone tells you that you like strawberries, when you’ve never liked strawberries. But then you think about every time you’ve had a strawberry, and you realize that you actually really did like strawberries. A lot more than you thought you did. Like… you realize strawberries are your favorite fruit.”

He stares with a confused look, tilting his head. He reaches up, pressing the back of his hand to my forehead.

“Are you feeling alright?”

I lean away from him, rolling my eyes. “Cut it out.”

He smiles, nudging me slightly. “Can’t say I’ve had that experience, no.”

I groan. “This sucks.”

“Why can’t you just tell me what actually happened?” he asks. He pouts. “Please?”

I smile at him, trying hard to be annoyed, but finding it difficult. God, I’m in trouble.

“I just can’t. It’s… private.”

“You never keep secrets from me.”

“I don’t even know what secret I’m keeping just yet,” I sigh, resting my chin in my hand. “I feel like I’m going crazy.”

“Aw,” he coos. “You say that like you aren’t already.”

I push him, laughing softly, though we both straighten up when the professor reprimands us. We give a quick apology, still smirking at each other the next time we catch one another’s eye.

The next days pass by in a blur as I come to terms with what I’ve been feeling. It doesn’t help that I couldn’t talk to anyone, especially since Lily was still mad at me. Now, though, I couldn’t blame her as much. She somehow realized I was into him before I did.

“Hey,” Remus says, coming up to me as I sit in the common room. “It’s late. Why are you still here?”

“Why are you?”

He shrugs, sitting next to me. “Can’t sleep. Moon’s coming in a couple days.”

I hum in acknowledgement. “Gotcha.”

He settles into the couch, crossing his arms over his chest. He looks sideways at me as I stare into the fire.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“Cause I can’t tell anybody.”

He scoffs. “That’s ridiculous. You’ve been off for days. James keeps complaining about how you’re not spending time with him as much.”

I shake my head, not responding.

“You need to talk to someone about this.”

“Can’t.”

“Bullshit.”

I look at him. “Seriously. I can’t talk to Jamie about it, Lily’s still mad at me, and Marls and Dorcas are too gossipy.”

“You can talk to me,” he shrugs.

“You wouldn’t get it, though.”

“Try me.”

I let out a breath. “You have to promise this stays a secret.”

He nods. “Promise.”

“Okay,” I say under my breath. “Okay. So, um, Lily got really mad at me the other day because of the whole…. Confession thing. And I didn’t understand why, and she started accusing me of things, and obviously I disagreed… But then something she said kind of stuck with me.”

“She’s just mad. Don’t listen to her,” Remus says, shaking his head. “You know how she gets when she’s in one of those moods.”

“But I think she was kind of right,” I sigh. “That’s the problem. She thinks… She told me she thought I was into James. And not like friends, like really into him.”

Remus’s eyes widen a little. “And… are you?”

“I’ve been thinking about it for the past week, and… I think I might be.”

“Whoa. I know we always tease you two for how close you are, but I never thought you…”

“I know,” I groan, my face in my hands. “And I know I haven’t been hanging out with him as much as usual because of it, but I don’t know what to do. How do you tell your best friend that you suddenly realized you’re in love with him?”

He doesn’t answer, just reaches over and gives me a hug. I accept it, sighing a little.

Our next week goes over just like that. I don’t avoid James by any means, but I try not to always be alone with him. I do find more opportunities to talk with Remus about it all, though, and it helps. Just to have someone to listen to me as I complain about my feelings. I do the same for him when he has troubles, though mine seem silly in comparison. He always tells me not to compare, though.

Unfortunately, though, as much as those chats help me process my feelings, they don’t help me get over those feelings at all. If anything, they only grow the more I think about James.

It’s super annoying.

Even more annoying is Lily’s smug look when I tell her about my feelings for James. I expected her to be mad at me, but she did something worse: she laughed at me.

“I knew it!”

“How? I didn’t know!”

“Because you are so obvious,” she shakes her head.

I scoff. “I’m clearly not that obvious or else you wouldn’t have told me you had a crush on him.”

“Alright. Fair enough,” she quirks a brow. “But still.”

I roll my eyes, walking over to hug her.

“Sorry about that. If I knew I had a crush on him I wouldn’t have told you to go for him.”

“Sorry back,” she says. “Shouldn’t have gotten mad at you that he told me no.”

“I agree,” I laugh.

She whacks me in the arm, laughing back.

I try to go about my life as usual over the next couple of weeks. There’s no sense in making myself miserable or drawing attention to my small shift in behavior. I find myself still doing most of the same things I always did. Just a bit more carefully.

I sit with the boys at dinner, laughing at their stupid jokes and the plans they have for pranks. I finish my food, pushing the plate away from me, and listening in on a conversation being had between Sirius, Remus, and Peter.

“You know, those three plan on being out all night,” James says quietly, leaning close to me as he watches the three boys talk.

I raise a brow. “Yeah? Doing what?”

“They wanted to just be out of the castle for the night. Think Sirius and Remus are going to the shrieking shack, and Peter is sneaking out to go meet up with some other friends in Hogsmeade, I guess.”

“And you aren’t running off?”

He shakes his head. “Told them I’d stay behind. Thought me and you could have a sleepover. Like old times.”

I chuckle. “It has been a while.”

“I think close to a year. They’re always in my space,” he says, feigning annoyance. “But it’ll just be us tonight, if you want.”

I push down whatever feeling rises in my chest at that and agree, despite my better judgement.

He pulls me into his room that night, immediately going to the foot of his bed, looking at me like he’s about to change my life.

“I brought something a little… fun,” he smiles, opening up his trunk to show me his secret stash of drinks. “Thought we might finally crack it open.”

I laugh. “And you didn’t think to tell me sooner?”

“Hey, we’ve had plenty at the Gryffindor events,” he smiles. “This is just for us. Our secret.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“I’m the greatest.”

We find ourselves on his floor after a few drinks, feeling fuzzy and happy. We talk about nothing for hours, occasionally passing a bottle between us.

“Maybe we should do this more often,” he says, smiling up at the ceiling. “I miss spending time with you like this.”

“We’re always together.”

“You spend a lot of time with Moony lately. Not fair, I want you all to myself,” he chuckles, poking my side.

I laugh, poking him back. “I’m still all yours. Love Moony so much, but you’re still my favorite I think. Now, if Sirius decided to start hanging around me more, then you’d be in trouble.”

He giggles, his cheeks rosy. I watch him carefully, feeling warm in the face myself, but for a different reason.

“You have a really cute laugh,” I say before I can think about it.

He looks at me with a smile, his tongue poking out between his teeth. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” I nod.

“You’ve never told me that before.”

I shrug. “I should’ve.”

He stares back at me for a moment, giving me a little silly smile. He leans over me, propping himself up with his forehead next to my head. He leans down, much like he did that day we went swimming. But this time I kiss him back. My hand finds his cheek, holding him gently as I let him work his lips against mine. I can’t deny the warmth that spreads over me or the butterflies I feel this time.

This time it lasts for a few minutes, neither of us bothering to pull away. Whether that’s because he actually likes it or because we’re both drunk and don’t know any better, I don’t know. I also don’t care.

He finally pulls away after a little while, still giving me that smile as if he didn’t just take all the air in my lungs away from me.

“We can pretend that one didn’t happen, either,” he says, voice barely above a whisper.

I nod, unsure what to say. I don’t want to pretend it didn’t happen, but I couldn’t tell him that without outing myself. I settle for the way his hand mindlessly reaches for mine as we go back into conversation like nothing ever interrupted us in the first place. Eventually, we move to his bed, preferring the softness of the mattress and pillows over the hard ground.

“Can I ask why you’ve been spending all your time with Remus?” he asks during a lull in the conversation, playing with my fingers as he does.

“Just became better friends recently, I guess,” I say, glancing at him. I admire his face for a moment before snapping out of it. “Some stuff I can talk to him about that I haven’t been able to tell anyone else. It’s been nice to have someone to listen.”

“I could do that for you. You didn’t have to go to him.”

“Not this time, Jamie. It’s… different.”

“How?”

“It just is,” I sigh. “I’ve had too much to drink for us to be having this conversation, James.”

He whines. “Please? I just want to know.”

“No. Maybe I’ll tell you someday, but not now.”

He grumbles, turning over and resting his head on my chest. His arm rests over my stomach. I just hope and pray he doesn’t feel how hard my heart starts beating when he does.

“Play with my hair?” he asks, his voice a little muffled.

“Okay,” I reply softly, running my fingers through his messy hair. “This okay?”

He nods a little. “Mhm. Thanks.”

We don’t wake up until the next morning, still stuck in that same position.

I find myself with Remus again the following night. I sit on a chair, and he lounges on the couch, trying not to judge me for putting myself in that situation. I don’t tell him about the kiss, but he hears about everything else.

“You can’t keep doing this to yourself,” he says after a beat of silence when I finish explaining. “You either need to tell him, or put some distance between you.”

“I tried that today.”

“I know,” he rolls his eyes. “It’s all James could talk about. Complaining the whole day that you weren’t eating with us or not going to the library when we were.”

“See? I feel like nothing I do is right in this situation,” I say, feeling defeated. “Like, how am I supposed to keep spending time with him like everything’s normal when I’m practically floating every time he so much as looks at me. It’s pathetic. And I can’t just ignore him, cause then he goes and bugs you all.”

“Maybe you just need to—”

“Hey,” James’s voice calls from behind us.

I look at him, noticing the annoyed look on his face. It doesn’t seem like he’s overheard us, but I can’t tell why he looks so irritated. Usually he’d be annoyed if I didn’t bother with them all day, but he looks… mad. I quirk a brow.

“Hey,” I say, confused.

He doesn’t reply, looking a little upset and a little lost. I turn back to Remus after a moment of silence, our conversation effectively being cut short. I stand up quickly.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” I say to Remus, starting to walk past James in order to get to my room.

“What’s going on?” James asks, grabbing my upper arm.

I turn around quickly. “What?”

He clenches his jaw, then looks at Remus. “Moony, we need a minute.”

Remus goes to argue, but drops it quickly when he sees James looking more serious than he ever has. He gets up, giving me a sympathetic look before he heads towards the boys’ dorms. I glare at James as he hasn’t let go of my arm yet.

“Why did you do that?”

“Why are you with him again?”

I scoff. “You mean our friend? Did you ever think maybe we were talking?”

“That’s the problem,” he says, dropping my arm.

“How is that a problem? I’m going through something and he’s just trying to help—”

He sighs harshly, looking around like he’s lost. He looks back at me with his brows furrowed.

“I don’t get it,” he says, practically whining. “You never keep things from me, and now you’re telling Moony all of your secrets and ditching me for him and… And I don’t understand it. We’re supposed to be best friends.”

“We are, Jamie, there’s just some things that I can’t—”

“Why not?” he swallows, tears starting to prick his eyes. “Why can’t you tell me? You never do this. We tell each other everything.”

I freeze for a moment, my mouth drying up as I look at him. I want to reach out for him and hold him and make him feel better. But I also want answers, because it’s his fault that everything got screwed up. He didn’t have to reject Lily. He didn’t have to kiss me when we were swimming. He didn’t have to do it again on his bedroom floor. He didn’t have to treat me like I was the most important person in his life.

“Then tell me why you kissed me,” I blurt out.

He shakes his head a little. “I don’t know.”

“Then figure it out! You don’t just get to kiss me and then act like you just did it for no reason.”

His chest heaved from his breathing, staring at me. His cheeks tinged pink again as he took a moment.

“I—I just wanted to. I don’t know. You were there and you were looking at me like that and you just…” he huffed a sigh. “I just wanted to kiss you.”

“Why?” I asked, frustrated.

“Because,” he said back, his tone matching mine. “Because I always want to kiss you and I slipped up and did it one time—”

“You did it twice!”

“Okay! Two times,” he exclaims. “We promised we would just forget about it.”

“And what exactly is that even supposed to mean?”

“You’re so fucking oblivious,” he grumbles, rolling his eyes. “God, what do I have to do to make you understand that I’m—”

I wait as he stops talking. “That you’re what?”

“I’m in love with you. I have been forever, and you’ve never cared,” he says, letting out a shuddering breath. “And now you’re spending all of your time with Remus. And it’s so embarrassing that I’m sat here hopelessly in love with my best friend of over ten years while she’s running around with another one of our friends.”

“Running around with him? We sit in the common room and talk because you’re fucking infuriating!”

“Oh, so you’re gossiping about me?” he asks, voice raising as mine does once again.

“Not gossiping, just—”

“Just what?”

“I’m in love with you, too, you fucking tosser!”

He looks angry for a few moments, then it switches to confusion, then shock, and possibly the five stages of grief before he finally lands on raised brows and an open mouth.

“You what?” he exclaims.

“You’re so annoying,” I say, groaning. “Yeah, Lily had to go and tell me I was in love with you, and she always has to be fucking right about everything, doesn’t she?”

“Are you listening to yourself right now?” he asks incredulously, furrowing his brows. “You just told me you loved me.”

“I’m aware, James,” I say, crossing my arms.

“Well… Did you mean it?”

“Obviously,” I say, shaking my head at him like it was a dumb question.

“You’re so dumb,” he says under his breath.

Before I can say anything else, he’s moving forward, his hands on my cheeks as he crashes his lips into mine. I melt into him, this kiss being way more passionate than the one we shared the night before. I hold onto his waist, letting him deepen the kiss, though it only lasts for a minute or two after that.

He pulls away. “You’re infuriating. Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“You didn’t tell me anything, either!”

“I kissed you twice!”

I roll my eyes. “That doesn’t count. You said we should forget about both times.”

“Only cause I thought that’s what you’d want,” he defends, making an annoyed face.

I try to be angry, but it’s a difficult task. I reach up, running a thumb over his furrowed eyebrows.

“So grumpy,” I mutter. “Just told you I was in love with you. You’d think you’d at least try to be happy.”

He scoffs a laugh, pulling me into a hug, his face buried in my neck.

“I’ve never been happier.”

We hear footsteps coming down a few moments later.

“You owe me ten galleons,” Sirius’s voice says.

I look over James’s shoulder as he keeps holding onto me, not caring that our friends are right there.

“You were betting on us?” I ask.

Sirius nods with a smirk. “And Peter just lost. He thought you’d take until the end of the year to get together. I said it’d be in this term.”

“I didn’t bet,” Remus says from behind Sirius, holding his hands up in surrender with a small smile. “Glad you worked it out, though.”

I smile at them, shaking my head and turning my attention back on James again. He looks at me finally.

“I’m glad, too,” he says quietly. “Think I might’ve combusted if I had to keep pretending I didn’t want you like that.”

“Didn’t do a great job at covering for it, though. Still kissed me twice.”

“You say like you didn’t love it,” he smirks with a wink.

————-> SMUT STARTS HERE. 18+ <-————

James finally pulls away, taking my hand in his.

“Good, now that you’re all out the room, if you’ll excuse us…” he says, pulling me past the boys who all groan in disgust.

I giggle as he practically runs to his room with my hand in his, kissing me the second the door is shut and locked. I smile into the kiss, my arms around his neck. He starts kissing my cheek and jaw after a few minutes.

“Hope you’ve been feeling the tension as much as I have, cause I could probably cum in my pants right now if you asked me to,” he says casually, as if it wouldn’t send a wave of arousal down my body.

“Oh my…” I trail off as he bites at my neck softly. “Are we gonna…?”

He pauses, his eyes wide. “Oh. I probably should’ve asked before I assumed, huh?”

He winces a little at his own excitement, cheeks tinged pink.

“Sorry.”

I smile softly. “That’s okay. I— I want to, I just didn’t know if that’s what the plan was.”

He smiles again brightly, kissing me once more. He giggled against my lips, then starts backing me towards the bed.

“I really do love you. Kind of embarrassing, really. I think I have forever,” he says softly, laying me down on the mattress and crawling over me.

I let out a soft breath. “Embarrassing for me, I think. I didn’t even realize until someone else told me I did.”

He laughs again, starting to kiss down my neck.

“I kind of always wanted you to be my first time, to be honest,” he says against my skin.

I pause, realizing what’s really happening. “Oh. Oh my god.”

“What?” he asks, leaning up to start unbuttoning my shirt.

“Wait, have you never… You haven’t done this either, have you?”

“Not all the way,” he shakes his head, then looks at me with wide eyes. “Is that okay?”

“That’s okay. I haven’t either. Just… You know. I’ve done some hand stuff but that was it.”

He looks at me again, then starts laughing a little. I find myself laughing right back as reality sets in for both of us.

“We’re gonna take each others virginity,” I say, still laughing a little. “Oh my god.”

He snorts a laugh. “Didn’t wake up this morning thinking this would happen, that’s for certain.”

I smile. “I love you.”

“I love you more,” he teases, dropping a kiss on the tip of my nose.

I watch as he finishes taking off my shirt, getting up just enough to help him pull it and my camisole off completely. He sits back on his knees, staring at me for a moment.

“You alright, Jamie?”

He nods. “Doing great, love.”

He starts taking off his own shirt, then. As many times as I’d seen his arms and chest, you’d think I wouldn’t still feel amazed seeing him in just his trousers… But I couldn’t stop staring, either. He leaned back in, kissing me again. I let my hands run over his arms and back, having free reign to do so and enjoying it. He nipped at my lip, a little noise leaving me and making him smile against my lips. I do the same to him, both of us ending up grinning at each other again.

“This is nice,” I say quietly. “Doing this with you, it’s nice. I like that we don’t feel like we have to act… sexy.”

“Well, that because it’s never an act for me, love,” he winks with a smirk.

I pull him back down with a giggle, though the smile is wiped from my face when he rolls his hips into mine. Feeling him hard for me for the first time leaves me a little breathless, especially when he’s grinding into me. I small groan leaves me when he does it again.

“Like it when you do that,” he says into my ear, doing it again just to get another reaction out of me. “I like those little sounds you make. So pretty.”

I find myself breathing heavily, my hands squeezing between our bodies to start unbuckling his belt. He gets the hint and sits up, pulling it off himself.

“Get out of those, yeah?” he says, nodding at my bottoms as he works himself out of his.

I comply immediately, shimmying out of my trousers and tossing them onto the ground. He gets back on top of me as soon as we’re both one layers closer to what we really want. I let my hand slide into his underwear as he stars kissing at my neck again, letting out a shuddering breath when I finally feel him. He whimpers into my neck as I start stroking him, rutting his hips into my hand.

“Feel so good, love,” he says, voice whiny and desperate.

I groan back, especially as one of his hands slides under the band of my panties to slip a finger into me. I feel myself growing hotter, kissing him and swallowing the moans he lets out as my hand keeps working him over.

“Shit, Jamie,” I moan as he adds a second finger.

“Good for you?” he breathes out.

“Yes,” I say breathlessly. “Yes. Very.”

I whine as he gets me closer to the edge, his hips doing all the work as my hand stopped moving up and down his length. He adds pressure to my clit with his thumb, sending me careening over the edge with praises and his name on my lips.

He pulls his hand away from me suddenly.

“Can’t wait any longer, love,” he says, voice wrecked.

He slides my panties off my legs as I take my bra off. Then, I watch with wide eyes as he pulls his underwear off, his cock bigger than I was expecting by far. I knew he felt big, but seeing him was entirely different.

“Fuck,” I say, staring at him. “Don’t know if I can take that, Jamie.”

“Yeah, you can, love,” he nods, settling between my legs and kissing me softly. “You can take it, baby.”

He pushes himself up just enough for both of us to see him rubbing his head through my slick before prodding at my entrance. He starts pushing in slowly. I let out a loud groan, my eyes shutting.

“Shh, just relax, love,” he says, lips hovering over mine. “You’re doing so good. Taking it so well, baby.”

He whimpers against my lips as he keeps pushing in slowly.

“So big, Jamie,” I moan, watching him disappear inside of me.

“I know, baby,” he says, a few more little noises spilling from his mouth. “I know, but you’re being so good. My good girl.”

He bottoms out, both of us panting and holding onto each other as I adjust to the new feeling. It hurts a little, but not in a bad way. Especially when he starts moving. That bit of pain makes way for a lot of pleasure once he starts rocking into me at a steady pace, whining and moaning into my ear.

“S’good, Jamie. You feel so good,” I say, trying to catch my breath.

“So good for me, baby. Squeezing me nice,” he whines, pinning me down under the weight of his body. “Good girl. So proud of you taking me so well.”

“Gonna cum again,” I say, feeling it building in my stomach again.

“Me too, baby. Just a little more,” he says, pressing his face into my neck again. “Don’t want to be done so soon, but you feel so perfect. You’re so good for me.”

I moan at his ramblings of praise, his words only causing me to get closer to that peak again. I hold onto him tightly, my body wrapped around his as he fucks into me like we’d done it a million times before. I speak his name over and over and over again as I crash down, my eyes rolling back from the intensity of the orgasm, and the fact that he doesn’t stop fucking me through it.

Though, near the end of my peak, he moans out a hundred more praises, my name falling from his lips as I feel him fill me up with his cum. He whimpers again against my skin as he finishes, not stopping the movement of his hips until he’s visibility overstimulated.

We breathe heavily, holding onto one another tightly as we come down from our highs, his hair sticking to his forehead as he leans in to kiss me softly again.

“Holy shit,” he whispers. “You’re perfect.”

I breathe out, a small smile on my face. “You… Yeah. Oh my god. I thought the first time was supposed to be bad.”

“It was perfect for me. But I barely lasted, it couldn’t have been that great for you,” he says, looking a little disappointed that he might not have done a good job for me.

I shake my head. “You still made me come harder than I ever have. You were incredible, Jamie. I mean it.”

He smiles softly. “I’m gonna have to kick them out of here more often. I might be addicted now.”

“And we have more things to try,” I add. “Can’t let this happen only once a week or something. Too much to figure out, I think.”

He giggles again. “Like what?”

“I’d really like you in my mouth next time.”

His smile drops. He starts nodding quickly. “Yes. Yeah, I’ll kick them out at two in the morning if you ask. Whatever you want.”

I laugh, pulling him into another kiss.

“Now, we have to figure out that contraceptive spell, or else we might be in some trouble,” I say with a smile.

“Sorry about that,” he smirks, clearly not sorry. “I’m sure Sirius knows it.”

“Please. As if he isn’t fucking Remus whenever those two run off to the shrieking shack.”

James’s eyes widen. “What?”

I snort a laugh.

“And you called me the oblivious one.”

[livinginshambles]

I want to be loved first | James Potter

Pairing: James Potter x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 4.0k

Summary: Established relationship and angst: James still loves Lily, it's clear to you. You try to ignore the way your heart aches when you always seem to be second on his mind, knowing you will never compare to her and unsure how much more you can take.

Notes: Its happy ending again, sorry guys. I'd say no beta, we die like fred, but that feels too soon so anyway, spelling and grammar mistakes probably.

Masterlist

____________________________

People have often told you that you need to toughen up and grow a spine. That your lack of backbone had everyone trample on you like you were a crosswalk, and you could definitely say that they were right.

Perhaps that's why you were crying in the middle of the night because of James Potter. He was laying behind you, pressed against your back with an arm draped over you. His face was hidden in the back of your neck, breathing steadily against it as he slept peacefully, unaware of the heartache he was causing you when he whispered Lily's name. Again.

When he'd done it the first time, your blood had run cold, goosebumps showing up and littering your bare arms. Tears had prickled in your eyes at his barely audible, mumbled confession. "Love you so much Lily."

You had turned around to face him and your rustling had woken him up. Eyes still closed, he'd groggily shifted and pulled you against his chest. “Everything alright, love?”

“Yeah, just a nightmare,” you had responded in a small voice. Your answer had him finally open his eyes, somewhat concerned. He had lifted his arm to yawn against it and then settled it back on top of you in such a way that his hand had easy access to your nape, drawing circles in an attempt to calm you.

“I've got you, love. Nothing can hurt you, as long as I'm here,” he had assured you.

Ironic.

So now here you were lying down, your tears were freely rolling down your face and you were glad that the curtains of the bed were closed, leaving you in a private space, despite sleeping in the boy’s dormitory. It would be another sleepless night for you, it seemed.

When James stretched his arms to reach for you about four hours later, he frowned and sat up, confused at the lack of your presence. He pushed the red drapes aside and peeked into the room. Sirius was still asleep, face down. Peter was most likely curled up inside the pile of blankets on his bed and Remus was sitting up in bed, a book in his lap.

Even though it was the weekend, and you were anything but an early bird, you slipped out of bed in the early morning. You were sure that your eyes were red and puffy and didn’t want James to mention it.

He looked up when he heard James and raised his eyebrows in question when he noticed no one else behind him. “Have you seen Y/N?” James asked, sleep still heavily laced in his voice. Remus shook his head in thought. “No,” he whispered quietly, an eye on Sirius beside him. “I’ve been up since four in the morning though.”

James’ frown deepened. That meant that you had snuck out before that. But why? He got dressed impressively fast and descended the stairs to the common room. You were sitting at the tip of your chair, deeply engrossed into your transfiguration assignment, several books piled, some laying open, scattered across the small table.

You felt two arms securely wrap around you, almost melting in their designated position. “Morning,” James kissed your cheek.

You bit your lip, took a breath, and cast your hurt feelings aside. You turned your head and flashed him a smile. “Good morning, Jamie.” James took the opportunity of your head, tilted upwards at him, and dipped down to press his lips softly against yours, pecking you once, twice. “You’re up early,” he commented and nudged you. He slipped behind you, body fully relaxing into your back now.

“Couldn’t sleep,” you replied honestly and you leaned back into him. You laughed softly when you noticed his eyes drooping. “You’re tired, Jamie. Go back to sleep.” James made a sound but didn’t move, instead slouching even more against you.

“Hm, no, I missed you this morning. I’ll stay here,” he decided and drifted off to sleep. You didn’t doubt that he loved you.

“Go on a date with me next Friday,” James asked you while he was escorting you to your herbology class. You looked up at him surprised. “A date?” you dumbly repeated, trying not to be too excited about the prospect of a date. James usually ended up having things to do that he really couldn't get out of, so you would always end up canceling your dates.

James laughed and slung his arm around your shoulders. “Exactly. You and me alone. I was thinking of a picnic by the lake, no one else around, and maybe we could snog, but I’m also down to cuddle.” Your eyes crinkled up amusedly. “Don’t you have Quidditch, Jamie,” you raised your eyebrows. “You always have Quidditch practice after class,” you pointed out.

“Not next Friday. I already checked to make sure I didn't double book anything, and I warned Pads that I'm not taking on any new pranks until next week to avoid detention.” he grinned. “Friday will be one of those rare days when I have time to have my girl all to myself the entire afternoon.” His face then turned apologetic. “I know I don’t have much time to take you out, so Friday'll be perfect and I’ll make it up to you.” You threw your arms around his neck and hummed appreciatively in it. “I’d love that.”

James wrapped his arms around you and pulled you in for a kiss. “Prongs!” Sirius shouted from a distance. “Everyone is already waiting for you for Quidditch practice, how far are you going to escort her? I mean the greenhouse is on the other side of Hogwarts, mate,” Sirius complained but he blew you a dramatic kiss that James waved away with a sour look.

“Go on,” you laughed and untangled yourself from his arms. He quickly pressed a kiss to your lips and sprinted off towards the Quidditch field.

James dropped into the seat next to you. “Long time no see, love,” he said. You snorted. “James, I saw you two hours ago.” James shrugged, and flirtily smiled. “I said what I said.”

Professor McGonagall entered the classroom and class started. You were jotting down everything she said in a neat handwriting, knowing that James would end up asking to lend your notes, of course by offering kisses in return.

You glanced beside you and were surprised to find him hunched over his notebook, scribbling away. Impressed at the thought that he was actually paying attention, you couldn’t help but peer down at his notes and saw that he was sketching a girl.

Though he wasn’t the greatest artist, you could clearly see that the girl on the paper looked nothing like you, and instead had features that were strikingly similar to Lily. When James looked up from his drawing and glanced to his right where she was sitting, her eyes focused on Professor McGonagall, you felt your heart constrict again, but still decided not to comment on it. He was free to draw whoever he felt like drawing, you reminded yourself.

Jealousy is ugly.

You were sitting in the library, helping a third year with Defense against the dark arts theory, when James barged in, earning several disturbed looks and a threatening glare from the librarian.

“James?” you called to him quietly and motioned for him. James’ eyes spotted you and he slid over to you, wringing his hands together, biting his lips and his eyes darting around.

“You’re nervous,” You remarked while you eyed him up and down. “Or you feel bad. What is it?”

James let out a deep sigh at your bluntness, though he supposed it would be better to get straight to the point. “We can’t go on a date next week, I’ve got prefect stuff, gotta patrol.” You stared at him, your disappointment was visible on your face and James looked at the ground.

“But you already had patrol this week? Isn’t it every other week?” You asked, a bummed out look on your face.

“Well, actually, Lily asked me if I could do rounds with her next week,” he admitted. “Her usual assigned partner was injured during Quidditch practice apparently.”

“Oh.” You didn’t know what to say. You were pretty sure she could ask anyone else for next week or just do the rounds herself as you’ve seen James do it alone for two weeks too when his assigned partner had gone home for a family emergency.

“Is it really vital that you have to go?” You couldn’t help but ask.

"I already said yes." James offered an apologetic smile. “I’ll make it up to you, I promise. We can go on a date the week after.” There was a pause and then, “Actually that’ll probably have to wait for the week after that.”

'Imagine having to schedule a simple date, three to four weeks in advance and even then not being guaranteed that nothing would come in between,' you sighed.

You shrugged, a sudden wave of defeat and exhaustion crashing over you. Why did you have to compete for your boyfriend in the first place? 'How tiring', you realized.

You waved him away. “It can’t be helped, I guess,” you somewhat coldly told him, and turned back to the student next to you who was awkwardly looking away. James stood next to you in silence for a moment, still looking at you. You looked up at the lack of the sound of receding footsteps and looked at him questioningly, waving your hand in a ‘what is it?’ manner.

“I can tell her no,” James said, something that looked like a pout on his face. He hated making you feel bad, despite constantly but unconsciously doing it.

“You don’t want to tell her no,” you retorted.

"I would for you.”

“Well, considering that you haven’t told her no by now and are instead here telling me that we have to rearrange our plans, I think you should just go help Lily with rounds.”

James was taken aback by your bitter tone, eyes immediately wide, alarmed that you were really affected by his decision. “Love, I-“

You waved your hand again. “No, I’m sorry,” you apologized before he could. You rubbed your eyes in an exhausted manner. Jealousy was not a good look, you reminded yourself again. “Just really looked forward to that picnic with just you and me.”

“We’ll still have that picnic another time though,” James tried to assure you, but you were no longer looking at him. He realized that the conversation was over and that you wanted to be left alone right now.

“I love you,” James tried one last time and you sighed. " I love you more.” Your words resonated even after James left, knowing that they might be more true than you wanted to admit. You cleared your throat and when you faced the girl next to you, she shot you a sympathetic look.

The last drop was during Potions class. Potions was something you were good at. Maybe not better than Severus Snape, but you did excel in it.

So, if there was one class in which you expected James to want to be your partner, it was Potions class. Perhaps it was arrogant of you to assume such a thing, because when Professor Slughorn had announced that everyone would be paired up, and asked James who he wanted to partner up with, you hadn't expected him to glance at Lily first, which resulted in Professor Slughorn pairing the two together before James could say your name, which in his defense, was what he was planning on saying.

Without sparing you a glace, he left your table to take the seat next to Lily's. Sure, it was mostly a miscommunication issue on Slughorn's part, but did James have to skip over so happily?

“Love you so much, Lily.”

The words repeated in your head when you saw him look at her so fondly and before you could stop yourself, you scribbled a message on a piece of paper, in which you asked him to meet you in the tower, before sending it his way.

You had clung onto James because you were absolutely in love with him and refused to lose him. But it really was a futile battle, you would never compare to her. His first crush, first love, first kiss if you count that one time during ‘spin the bottle’ and his first heartbreak. You’ll always be second, even if he genuinely loves you.

James snapped his head up at you from his attempted conversation with Lily when he got your note, suddenly remembering you, but you were laughing, engrossed in a conversation with a flustered Peter who had almost set the two of you on fire by adding the wrong ingredient. When you left class, you saw James and Lily still talking while calmly packing up.

James entered the tower, holding the note that you had passed him during class. He was smiling cheekily and quickly skipped over, arms ready to wrap around your waist as he leaned in for a kiss, no doubt thinking you asked him to sneak away for a snog.

“We need to talk,” you stopped him, and his grin fell from his face, a serious expression now adorning it. “Everything alright love?” he asked, an odd feeling growing inside of him at your tone. He was suddenly rather unsure if he really wanted to.

'Nothing better than to rip the band aid off', you thought.

“I want to break up.”

There was a long moment of silence while James was registering your words, repeating them in his head over and over again to see if there was any chance that he could have interpreted that incorrectly.

“What?” He eventually said out loud in disbelief. Though he wanted to step forward, reach for you and hold you tightly as if to show that he wouldn’t let you go, his body was inwilling to move.

“Why are y-, I thought we were good?” The crack in his voice didn’t go unnoticed by you. Your heart ached for him, but you were determined to stay strong and say your piece for once. To voice your thoughts and go through with tough decisions that you knew would be for the better.

“We’re not, James,” you sighed. “I know that you know that.”

James shook his head in denial. “No, I don’t know that,” he insisted. His brain was racking through all the instances where he did something wrong and - with the exception of next Friday's date - came up blank.

“But you love me,” he stated, mostly to himself, but it came out more of a question. “Of course,” you confirmed without hesitation.

James’ body finally unfroze, and he surged forward, his hands fumbled to hold your hands. “And I love you,” he stressed, panic starting to rise up. “I love you so much, I’ll take a Veritaserum potion if you want. I just, why would you-, I don’t understand the problem-,”

“I know you love me, James. The problem is that I love you so much more,” you calmly interrupted him. James’ eyes scanned your face to look for answers because none of it maded sense to him.

“I want someone who loves me as much as I love him. Someone who gives me all his love, not just a part that he managed to set apart for me too. And I want to be loved first. Not second. I don't want to be a consolation prize because your first option didn't work out.”

James’ eyes flickered in realization, but his head was still shaking in denial. “I am that someone,” he urged, trying to convince you. He shot you a pleading look. “I love you first, I swear.” He pressed a kiss to the back of your hand, and you pulled it away from his grasp.

“Not first,” you shook your head sadly. “Not when you call for Lily in your sleep, and whisper that you love her.” You watch as James’ frown deepened, mixed expressions crossing his face in surprise, confusion and even bewilderment.

Would he not even admit it?

“Not when you have us rearrange our plans for her, when you draw portraits of her during class, or when you practically jump to be her potions partner. I'm not stupid, James. I see the way you look at her.” You continued to list off the things that happened just this past week, not even bothering to mention all the things that bothered you the past months. Your eyes looked sad and tired, and you took another deep breath. “So, I want to break up.”

James felt like crying, his mind thinking back to everything you said, and knowing that you were right. “I’m sorry,” he tried. “I’m an absolute twat, I know that. I promise you I don’t love Lily, she’s just still very important to me.” You offered him a sympathetic smile.

“I know she’s important to you, I just think that maybe you don’t know what or who you want. And I won’t share my boyfriend anymore, I’m selfish like that,” You joked halfheartedly. James didn’t react, save for wrapping his arms around you. You allowed James to embrace you and he buried his head in your hair, his eyes closed as if he wanted to go to sleep and forget this was happening.

“Okay,” James whispered. What else was he supposed to say?

You closed yours as well. James would get over you in no time, you were certain. You two hadn’t been dating for that long, and perhaps James could find a happy ending in Lily after all.

James had sort of avoided you after that. You thought he was doing it because he was angry, but in reality, he was just scared that he would burst into tears the moment he saw you, and he refused to watch you laugh happily, swatting your friend while he wanted nothing more than to hold your hand again.

His mind had completely become occupied by you and he stayed in bed over the weekend, mostly wallowing in self-pity and misery.

When Monday started, he had skipped all classes and only dragged himself out of bed for Quidditch practice and patrol with Lily. Walking next to her in silence, occasionally glancing at her, he felt his stomach sink again. How ironic that when he looked at Lily, all he could think about was you.

James walked through the corridor on Friday, on his way to the courtyard to meet up with Lily again to do rounds with her. He hadn’t been able to sleep peacefully without you. At first, he had been thinking about every instance where he prioritized Lily over you, and it had him curse himself out in his pillow. He missed you. It was so ridiculous, but he missed you to the point that he would curl up in bed with a stomach ache.

He had finally drifted off when at some point in the middle of the night, he had been shaken awake by Sirius.

“What?” James had asked, his throat dry and raspy. He’d looked around, disoriented.

“Thought you were having a nightmare Prongs. You kept mumbling her name. How much you loved her,” Sirius had handed James a glass of water.

James became wide awake and sat up straight in panic. “Lily?” He had asked Sirius, his stomach turning with nausea. He still couldn’t believe that he really talked about Lily in his sleep when you were lying next to him.

“What? No, Y/N’s name of course.” Sirius had corrected him. 'Of course,' James shook his head at Sirius’ words. “Figured you were reliving your breakup,” Sirius had explained.

James was looking through the passing windows of the castle where he could see the lake in the far distance. Suddenly something in his brain clicked. What in Godrick's name was he doing, avoiding you? Why was he giving up on you without a fight? You both loved each other; he was just the idiot who couldn’t sort himself out. But it didn’t take him longer than a terrible week to open his eyes.

James’ pace increased and he ran through the corridor. “No running in the corridors young man,” a portrait commented, but he paid it no mind.

Lily was already waiting for him and raised her eyebrows at his disheveled state and the basket that he was carrying. “I can’t do rounds with you today,” he puffed out. “I told Y/N that I would take her out for a picnic and then you asked me if I could help, and I agreed, but it’s so stupid because I should be-, I am choosing her,” James ranted. “I’m not letting you come first, or even second.”

Lily wasn’t really sure what James was rambling on about but gave him a kind smile, nonetheless. “Well, what are you waiting for,” she encouraged him. “Sounds to me like you shouldn’t be here, but somewhere else.”

“Yeah, I definitely should.”

You sat by the lake, skipping stones from a sitting position, not that you were having any luck. You hadn't seen James in a while because he avoided you, and you felt sadness wash over you. You were sure that he would get over you quick enough, but you wondered how long would it take for you to get over him?

You heard rustling behind you but kept facing forward. It was only when a delicious smell reached you, that you turned around, slightly annoyed that someone would really choose this spot to have an afternoon meal at when they could’ve sat literally anywhere else near the lake, as well as choose this moment when you wanted to act like a depressed main protagonist gazing in the distance.

You were, however, not prepared to see James stand behind you, out of breath and making his way over to you, a blanket and food spread out behind him. He didn’t really need to say anything. You understood from the way he showed up here, a hopeful expression on his face.

Your heart skipped a beat, and you got up, dusting yourself off.

"Hi," James breathed. An unsure smile formed on his face when you waved back. "I uh, I brought food." He awkwardly motioned to the picnic behind him and you couldn't help but smile at his adorableness.

“Shouldn’t you be somewhere else,” you couldn’t help but lightheartedly remark. James let out an airy chuckle, immediately relaxing at your open demeanor.

“100% sure I’m where I should be,” he affirmed. He considered his words and corrected himself. "Where I want to be."

His words had you take off in a sprint towards him and James opened his arms to catch you when you jumped, locking your legs around him. Ironically enough, it felt as if a weight had fallen off of James. His head fell against your shoulder and he shakily laughed while your blouse stained with tears of relief.

"I'm really sorry," he looked up at you, still holding you steadily. You leaned down to press your forehead against his, and your hands came up to his cheeks. "You made up your mind," you said, but it came out like a question, and James nodded hastily.

"And you'll make it up to me."

"Of course," he earnestly replied. "I want us. I'll fight for us." You closed the gap between the two of you.

“I love you,” he whispered breathlessly against your lips.

Not first or second, not more, most or less. He just loves you.

Taglist:

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[loveyouprongs]

are you awake?

prompt: "are you awake yet?" "no." "oh, okay sorry." remus lupin x reader

upcoming content: fluff! pls lmk if u think i missed anything. 1.8k words

authors note: despite any photos used in the header, it’s important that people of all races can identify with my work so please let me know if any of the descriptive language i use is exclusionary, i’m trying my best!

masterlist

you had no idea what time it was, your phone abandoned on the night stand atop remus' book. he had come over in a huff, one hand holding his cellphone, keys, and book all at once, the other holding a warm cup of hot chocolate he had picked up along the way.

"rem, is that you?" you called, fumbling with wrapping a towel around your just washed hair while keeping the other towel tucked under your arms. you weren't expecting to see him today at all, he had, in his own words, a fucking shitload of reading to catch up on and planned on spending the entire weekend holed up in his room.

you understood, having just finished your own finals, so you planned on spending the evening watching movies and finally removing the old nail polish that decorated your toes and repainting them. an easy, uneventful night.

“yeah, it’s me dove,” remus said, bending down to untie his laces, “sorry for just barging in on you like thi- did you just take a shower?”

he snapped his head up and drank you in, your body still damp from the hot water and the ends of the towel wrapped around your chest fell apart against your thigh revealing more of your smooth skin. your face was free of makeup or the tendrils of hair that constantly fell between your eyes that remus always brushed away.

“y’don’t have to do that every time, remus,” you said on your fourth date when his fingertips danced against your forehead once more that evening.

“you have to be able to see, darling, i don’t mind,” he replied as if this was something he was doing as a favor to you and not because he was so desperate to touch you in any way.

you looked beautiful, he thought.

“thank you, baby,” you let out, giggling at the sigh of your boyfriend still bent half over himself, looking up at you as if you would disappear if he wasn’t.

“did i say that out loud?”

“you did.”

“well, it’s true,” he had since walked over to you, setting his phone, keys, book and cup on the table and grasped at your shoulders, stamping a kiss to your forehead. in this moment, he felt all his tension wash away and reveled in the feeling of your warm skin under his and the vanilla scent of your shampoo wafting around him. he didn’t even remember why he was in such an annoyed mood earlier until you asked him how come he came over.

“ugh, i have to move out!” he exclaimed. this is something remus said maybe four times a week, seven if it was really bad. when james left his dishes piled up in the sink for too long, “i have to move out!” remus would say while ranting to you over breakfast the next day. when they went on a trip for a few days and sirius forgot to pack any underwear so he took it upon himself to borrow remus’, you woke up to a text from your boyfriend that simply read “i have to move out.” sent at 2:18 a.m. then “good morning” at 2:19 a.m. and “you better not be awake right now, dovey” at 2:20 a.m.

“what happened this time?”

“was trying to study ‘til those idiots had the bright idea of rolling bottles down the stairs, i mean who even thinks of that?”

you had to bite your lip to keep in your laughter. you had seen that trend all down your social media so you knew exactly where they got the idea from. but your sweet remus who had no profiles whatsoever, -unless you count the facebook page he made when james told him he had to have one at least-

“what do you mean it doesn’t count? you can share photos and talk to people.”

“it’s facebook! only mums use it. i’m making you a BeReal.”

“you’re making me be real?”

“oh, nevermind.”

had no idea and believed this was just another stupid activity his roommates shared brain cell came up with.

“i don’t know, remmy, people are weird,”

“right? anyway, i sat through listening to ‘clunk, clunk, clunk, smash! again, again, again!’ for about fifteen minutes before i had to get out of there so i thought to come here.”

a warmth started growing within your chest and spreading throughout your entire body. he thought to come here, to your place. your lanky, fluffy haired, nerdy boyfriend who you loved so so much thought to come to you. the smile that had spread across your face was so wide you knew remus knew exactly how you were feeling.

“don’t go all moony eyed on me now, sweetness,” he began, “i’m here because i still have a lot of work to do.”

“of course”

“with no distractions, at least for the next few hours,” he was looking down at you with a familiar look in his eye and you couldn’t even bother to feign cluelessness. the image of remus bent over a book, concentrated look on his face and glasses slowly slipping down his nose was irresistible to you and when you two studied together, it caused a lot of assignments to go untouched.

“alright, i’ll leave you be. but i expect some form of compensation for my good behavior.”

“hence the hot chocolate, for you dove,” he handed you the tall paper cup he had brought in with him and you smiled as it was still warm enough to drink.

“oh wow, my boyfriend and a hot chocolate? it’s like my birthday!” you laughed as remus rolled his eyes and started setting himself up at your kitchen table.

“you can’t say that whenever i get you something, you need to have higher expectations for your birthday silly girl, or i really will just get you a drink and that’ll be it.” he said and the last thing he heard was you laughing down the hallway.

hours had passed and your hair was dry, toe nails now a light peachy color, and one and a half movies had been watched. you mainly kept to your room, only coming out to get a drink and set some biscuits out for remus who hadn’t even looked up. you were sure a bomb could off in the building across the street and he wouldn’t notice. he was so concentrated that all you wanted to do was press your fingers to his temples and relieve his pretty face of the wrinkles, surely his eyes were sore as well, but you knew better than to bother him.

it wasn’t until it was dark out that remus had finally slumped against your bedroom door and trudged like a zombie to your bed, face planting right into your lap. his calves were hanging over the edge so you grabbed his face and shuffled yourselves closer to the headboard. remus was laughing, the feel of his lips tickling your stomach, and with that information he only began to blow raspberries on your belly button.

“remus stop i’m serious!” you let out and lifted his head up, your hands pushing his cheeks up causing his lips to reach up into a smile. he looked so soft, and happy, but obviously tired.

“‘m finished with all m’reading, dove,” his speech was slurred, surely from exhaustion.

“i’m very proud of you baby, you’re so hard working.”

he wrapped the comforter around both of you, and flipped onto his side, pressing his back to your front. he must have been really out of it because he never let you be the big spoon.

“but don’t you like being held?”

“i like holding you. besides it just makes more sense that way, i’m much taller.”

“there’s no sense to cuddling!”

“there’s sense to everything!”

“i am hard working! and they don’t care, all they care about is smashing things and making lots of noise. i have to move out.” he grumbled.

you ran your fingers through his hair, letting him mumble on, knowing he’ll soon fall asleep.

“well, you’re always welcome here, my love.”

he sighed and pressed a kiss to your wrist, “i know,” he spoke softly, the two words so full of content he could hardly stand it. he thought every day how lucky he was to have you in his life. a love full of soft kisses and hot chocolates and intertwining under moonlight. “i love you so much.”

“i love you too, now get some sleep.”

the night had come and gone, remus sleeping away in your arms and the sun was shining through your curtains. you slowly lifted your arm off him and felt around for your phone, careful not to disturb him. the screen flashed 10:15 a.m., meaning remus had been sleeping for close to twelve hours now.

it made sense due to how tired he was yesterday, but you had done nothing but relax, so your body was ready to get up and start the day. you answered a few messages telling marlene you’d had to get back to her about if you and remus could make it to brunch in a few hours and sending a rolling eyes emoji to james who sent you a number of videos of bottles rolling down the stairs.

remus shifted, unconsciously flexing his back, and you froze. it wasn’t until he began cracking his knuckles individually that you knew he was awake, you still asked though.

“are you awake yet.”

“no.”

“oh, okay, sorry.”

“mmm.”

two minutes passed, “are you awake now.”

“are my eyes open?”

“no, but you are speaking to me, and this isn’t what you usually say when you sleep talk.”

“i don’t sleep talk!” he let out, craning his neck to look at you perplexedly.

“got you to open your eyes, didn’t i?” you said with a wry smile. his look of confusion morphed into annoyance that you both knew was fake and he fully turned so you were both facing each other now.

“i haven’t slept that good in a long time,” he said lowly, his voice still rough from sleep.

“finals are over now, rem, you can sleep for as long as you want.”

he smiled and tangled your fingers together, opening his mouth to say something back when his stomach rumbled loudly.

“that wasn’t very sexy, was it?”

you giggled and shook your head, finally throwing the covers off yourself.

“nope, but that’s okay, marlene wants us to meet her for brunch in thirty minutes, so we better get a move on, sleepy head.”

remus groaned and reached for his designated dresser from the bed and pulled out whatever shirt and bottoms were on the top of the piles. the two of you got ready in comfortable silence and while you were sitting on the floor, pulling up the zipper on your boots, remus realized that he really could see himself moving in here. always doing his course work at your kitchen table, picking up a hot drink for you at the coffee shop two streets away, not because it was on his way to you, but because it was on his way home.

“ready, baby?” you asked, now standing at full height, holding your hand out to him.

i’m ready to wake up here every morning. “ready,” he said, wrapping his hand around yours.

[morwap]

𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐎 𝐌𝐄

ex!regulus black x fem!reader

nav | m.list | r.b m.list

smut

dom!reg sub!reader, p in v, cunnilingus, handjob, cheating, ex!barty x reader mention, hair pulling. c/n = character name

───────✧ 𓆩♡𓆪 ✧───────

james unlocked the door, a big smile on his face as he had booked a pretty nice airbnb for the long weekend. you and dorcas carried in snacks and drinks to the kitchen as he held the door.

you could hear peter groan as sirius jumped on his back after stretching.

“hey i just wanted to see if you were okay, ya know with regulus being here and all—“

you cut dorcas off with a little laugh, “yeah d its fine, i mean we both have moved on clearly”

dorcas smiled and nodded before rubbing your arm then walking back outside.

moved on was not what you would describe it, regulus was here with a girl he had a met not to long ago, a fling, you could tell by how she acted. it was exactly how you used to act.

maybe he did this to make you jealous and to ruin your time, that was the only justification that went through your head.

you packed the fridge with the food and put things on the counters.

“y/n! where do you want me to put your stuff?” remus yelled, you already knew the sleeping arrangements, you and peter on an air mattress while remus, sirius, dorcas and marlene in a room. james and lily have their own and so does regulus and c/n.

“just put it by the couch!” you yelled as you watched sirius walk in, you grabbed a water and tossed it to him. sirius smiled then looked behind him then looked back at you, giving you an eyebrow raise. a warning sign.

“yeah its up the stairs, second room on the right” regulus mumbled. you watched as she walked up the stairs and regulus stopped to talk to sirius. you could tell he was out of breath from carrying things, you grabbed another water from the fridge and put it on the table before walking to the living room.

to say the tension was strong whenever you and regulus were in the same room was an understatement.

it was getting dark out, everyone was outside while james cleaned the grill for tomorrow and sirius and marlene tried to get a speaker to start working.

you sat next to lily, you both chatting about random topics while scrolling and showing each other different cats at a shelter. you would occasionally look to the other seats and make eye contact with regulus, it only made you wanna roll your eyes when he would at you then at her then back at you. he would get closer to her, having a stare off with you until you looked away.

music started to lighten the tension, marlene had pulled you up to dance with her while she was shit faced drunk. sirius got remus to join in. regulus watched you, thinking that maybe you just didnt care.

the fun ended with marlene throwing up on the other side of the fence and dorcas having to go put her in a bath. mary had called lily to check up on you guys, she wasn’t able to come since she had a wedding to attend.

hours passed and remus was the last to leave living room to you and peter, you sat down on the edge of the air mattress, peter already fast asleep, you had showered before coming to bed and now put on lotion.

the only thoughts you had were of regulus as you started to lay down. you couldn’t sleep a few hours passed until you heard footsteps.

regulus sat on the couch, his elbows on his knees. he cant remember what made him come down here, maybe to get a drink but now its led him here and he cant say he’s mad about it.

“are you doing this to fuck with me? to make me jealous?” you asked in a yelled whisper, sitting on the edge of the air mattress. you made sure not to move too much since peter was next to you with earplugs in.

“what? am i doing this to fuck with you? what are you talking about?” he whispered, his brows furrowed. “you started talking to barty again, what was i supposed to do while you were out flirting with your ex boyfriend?” he added.

“literally what the fuck are you talking about regulus” you scoffed, the last time you saw barty was when you gave him some of his clothes that was still in a box in your closet, it was socks and a few plain white tees but he had messaged you about it since it had his favorite belt and hadnt been able to find it for almost 6 months.

“sirius told me he saw you, how you got in his car and was all up on him, told me all about how you were all giggly and touching his arm, i thought we had something” he argued, making hand gestures.

“we do have something, we always have had something, all i did was give him a box of clothes if i was thinking about getting back together with i would've told you” you whispered, you touched his arm.

“i would never do that to you, regulus i told you everything” you added as a tear pricked your waterline, his head tilted slightly as he closed his eyes and sighed.

you missed him, god you missed him.

“i’m sorry, i should've asked you” he sighed, his hands going to yours. just touching him was like being teased, you missed his hands on you.

you swallowed, you didn’t know if it was the right time and you think he had the same idea.

regulus looked at you, you two were so close, his hair was just the slightest bit damp and he still smelled so strongly of his body wash and shampoo. He wore a plain black tee and sweatpants that was fresh out the dryer.

he leaned in closer, you didn’t want to move more than you already have in case of waking peter.

you tilted your head back as he leaned in more, his lips touching yours. god it felt so good.

your tongue intertwined with his as you two kissed, his hand came to your jaw. you tried to get closer to him. you heard peter groan and you pulled away.

peter rolled over and started to snore.

“cmere” regulus whispered and guided you up and into the kitchen.

your lower back pressed against the counter, as he locked your guys lips together roughly, his hands going up your shirt.

you tried to rub yourself against his groin. regulus groaned into your mouth as he unclipped your bra. he moved around your body until he was able to slip the bra to the ground then undid the knot on your pj pants.

regulus trembled in your grasp as you palmed him, he was getting harder and harder in your grasp. he bit your lip lightly before pulling away.

“turn the fuck around” he panted, his hands moving you roughly and pushing you to bend over the counter. regulus drops to his knees, his fingers slipping down your pj pants and panties.

you could feel his lips on your ass cheek, he bit softly which made you laugh and mumble an “ow,” regulus smile before spreading you open for him.

his tongue met your cunt, making you shiver, your clit throbbed as he sucked slightly. his hands massaged you gently, he did circles around your clit then moved his tongue up and down your vulva.

one of regulus’ hands moved to your cunt, his fingers teasing around your cunt before finally pushing in.

your hand that was gripping the counter went up to your mouth, his fingers were long and soon enough he could fit two in. your legs trembled and you were getting close. minutes passed and then you were on the brink.

regulus pulled away and slowed his fingers. you whined when his fingers left you. you soon felt his lips on the back of your neck. you could feel him press his cock against you, you reached back and slid your hand into his waistbands, he was fucking leaking.

he moaned against your skin as you stroked him, his hand gripped your hand and guided it while the other one held your hip. regulus let go of your hand and pushed his sweats down a bit.

“turn around i wanna see your face” he whispered and let go of you. you kicked off your bottoms before turning. regulus spit in his hand and stroked himself, you watched his chest as he breathed heavily.

you got onto the counter, thankfully it happened to be perfect height.

spreading your legs for him, waiting, you are beautiful.

regulus pressed his tip against your cunt, sliding in as his other hand did circles on your clit. his head tilted back slightly and he bit his lips. his stomach tightened and his eyes closed.

you watched his cock go into you. your hand gripped his forearm.

“youre amazing” he mumbled, looked at you and you leaned in, lips molding together in a fevered rush.

regulus started thrusting, noises caught in your throat, his other hand held the back of your head, guiding it how he wanted.

he started to quicken his pace, his fingers gripping your hair hard. you moaned in his mouth.

a noise from upstairs stopped him, pulling his head away from you and his hand moved to cover your mouth. he slowed his pace but didnt stop completely.

“regulus?” you heard.

he looked at you and then reached to turn the sink on then off.

“yeah?” he said. she stood at the top of the stairs. it was dark the only light being from a nightlight that was next to you.

“you okay?” she asked.

“yeah im just getting a drink and im on the phone with evan, hes having a rough night, go back to bed” he lied on the spot.

“oh alright” she yawned and walked back.

you kissed his neck, nipping at his skin. he started to pick up his pace again.

“im sorry” he whispered, his hands rubbed your sides.

“its okay” you said, you pulled on the hem of his shirt and sucked on his collarbone, leaving a dark mark.

his fingers went fast on your clit, getting you closer and closer.

“i love you” regulus said.

you kissed his cheek, “i love you too regulus” your fingers slipping into his hair.

your brows furrowed as the coil in your stomach snapped. cunt clenching down on him and pulsating. you bit your lips together.

“inside or on your stomach?” he asked hurriedly.

you ignored him.

his eyes closed tightly, “imma need an answer baby quick” he whined.

“stomach” you panted as you came down from your high.

regulus thrusted a few more times before pulling out. your hands went to his cock, jerking him off to the pace he was going before.

he cursed as he came, cock throbbing and now becoming super sensitive.

soon he had cleaned you and himself up and wiped down the counters then you two ended up cuddling on the couch. he whispered in your ear, telling you how he missed you and that you were the best thing to ever happen to him. it was nice, so nice.

you had moved once he fell asleep, getting back to your spot on the air mattress. regulus moved closer to the edge and reached his hand down to grab yours.

“goodnight” he mumbled.

[rosieswriting]

Wrapped up in you

Remus Lupin x reader

Summary: you look good and Remus is a love sick puppy

Note: pre established relationship. A bit of Jily English is not my first languaje!

Warnings: not +18 but suggestive content

Words: 1,9K

You looked good—really good. After what felt like ages of trying on clothes, nothing had felt quite right for the party at the Ravenclaw common room. But this… Merlin, you felt like the hottest person at Hogwarts

“Are you trying to kill poor Remus? Because with that outfit, you might actually do it” Lily teased, grinning as she looked you up and down. You rolled your eyes, though a satisfied smile played on your lips as you took one last look in the mirror.

Remus and you had started dating not so long ago, one month, two weeks and three days to be exactly. After years of crushing on your best friend, you had finally gotten together, thanks mostly to James and Lily who were desperate to have double dates with someone.

“You look good too, Lils” you replied smiling to the redhead “Pretty sure James is going to be drooling across the common room” you teased slightly.

She chuckled, giving you a playful nudge before opening the door. You followed her down the stairs to meet up with the Marauders in the common room, where the four of you had planned to head to the party together. As you descended, you could already hear their laughter echoing up the stairs. When you stepped into the common room, all four boys turned to look at you both.

“Lily Evans,” James announced, rising dramatically, “I vow to cherish you until the end of time because, somehow, you get even more beautiful every day.” He walked over to Lily, giving her a soft kiss.

Sirius came over with a teasing grin, throwing an arm around your shoulders. “Didn’t know you could clean up this well.”

“Shut up,” you laughed, playfully nudging him off.

“I think you might’ve broken Moony” Peter said, smirking as he and Remus rose from the couch.

With a chuckle, you slipped out from Sirius’s arm and walked over to Remus, cheeks warming under his intense gaze. His mouth opened, closed, then opened again, like he couldn’t quite form words. You walked over, feeling the blush rise to your cheeks as he took in every detail—the way your hair framed your face, your lips, the curve of your smile. When you stopped in front of him, he wrapped his hands around your hips, giving a gentle squeeze as he took you in one more time.

“You’re…” he trailed off, his voice barely above a whisper as he finally managed to get out, “Merlin, you’re beautiful.”

Your eyes locked, and a shiver ran down your spine. “Thank you,” you murmured, a soft smile on your lips. The world faded for a moment, leaving just the two of you, wrapped in quiet admiration.

But Sirius, ever the charmer, had other plans. “Alright, lovebirds, are we going to crash this party, or are we just standing here staring all night?” he called, leaning against Peter with a grin.

You and Remus exchanged a chuckle, glancing at Lily and James, who were equally lost in each other. Everyone nodded, and with a shared laugh, you all began making your way out of the Gryffindor common room and toward Ravenclaw’s.

Peter and Sirius led the way, joking about how much they’d drink, while Lily and James giggled beside them, whispering in each other’s ears. You and Remus lingered behind, his hand in yours, his thumb lightly brushing over your knuckles. Every so often, you’d catch him looking over at you, his gaze warm and gentle.

“You’re quiet,” you murmured, giving his hand a light squeeze.

A flurry of thoughts raced through your mind. He’d called you beautiful, but… was he just being polite? Had he changed his mind about your outfit? Or maybe he had now realized that you actually looked bad? Had you tried to much? Was the outfit to much? Did he think you were too much? Did he-

Just as your thoughts started spiraling, he stopped, giving you a look so tender it silenced every worry. “You left me speechless, love,” he said softly, smiling in that way that made your heart stutter. “I still can’t believe we’re actually together.”

Your heart soared, and a wide smile spread across your face. This was what made you fall for him—those words, so simple yet so grounding.

“Well, you’d better believe it,” you said, a playful warmth in your tone. “I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.”

“As if I’d ever let you,” he teased, letting go of your hand to wrap his arm around your waist, pulling you closer. As you stepped into the Ravenclaw common room, you realized you hadn’t even noticed the journey there, entirely wrapped up in each other.

The Ravenclaw common room was packed, wall to wall with seventh-years letting loose. Tables had been pushed to the corners, each stacked with bottles of Firewhisky, Butterbeer, and a random assortment of Muggle liquors someone must have smuggled in. The music pounded through the room, drawing most people to the makeshift dance floor in the center, while the more daring couples could be spotted snogging in shadowed corners. A few others leaned by the large windows, passing around enchanted cigarettes, smoke curling lazily into the air.

Sirius caught your eye from across the room, his brows raised in that mischievous way of his, and you knew exactly what he was going to say—and that you were going to say yes.

“Ready for some shots, my dearest friend?” he asked, grin wide and challenging.

“As always.” You gave him a mock salute and turned to Remus, who was watching the exchange with a knowing smile.

You wrapped your arms around Remus’ shoulders, leaning in to press a soft, lingering kiss to his lips. There was a hint of something electric beneath it, that small thrill you always felt whenever you kissed him, no matter how many times you had. But you didn’t let it go too deep, not wanting to get lost in him when Sirius was already waiting.

“Careful, alright?” Remus murmured as you pulled back, his hand resting gently on your waist, his gaze warm but cautious.

“Yes,” you whispered with a reassuring smile, planting one last kiss on his cheek before turning back to Sirius. Remus chuckled softly, watching you go with a fond look.

The two of you weaved through the crowd, pausing here and there to greet friends and familiar faces, laughter and chatter filling the room around you. Ever since the start of the year, you and Sirius had developed a little ritual of sharing shots at every party. It had somehow strengthened your friendship, a unique bonding ritual that always left you laughing by the end of the night.

As you reached the table, Sirius uncorked a bottle of tequila with a flourish. “No jokes aside, you really do look stunning tonight,” he said, pouring two shots and giving you a genuine smile beneath all his teasing.

“Thanks, Siri,” you said, smiling back. “And I hate to boost your ego, but you’re looking pretty good yourself.”

“Oh, I know,” he smirked, flipping his hair back in a mock display of vanity. He handed you a shot glass, clinking it against yours before you both downed it in one swift gulp.

The tequila burned going down, and you both winced, making exaggerated faces of disgust. “Still awful, every time,” you laughed, shaking your head.

“Awful but worth it,” he shot back, pouring another round without waiting for you to protest. “To making terrible decisions we’ll laugh about tomorrow!”

“Cheers to that,” you replied, grinning as you took the second shot with him, already feeling the warmth of the alcohol spreading through you.

Out of the corner of your eye, you caught Remus watching you with a soft smile, leaning casually against the wall with James and Lily. Every now and then, he’d shoot a glance your way, and you could feel the quiet affection in his gaze, even from across the room. Sirius followed your gaze and nudged your arm.

“You two are love-sick puppies” he teased, filling two cups with Butterbeer and passing one over to you with a smirk.

“We are not,” you said, shooting him a playful glare but gratefully accepting the drink. “We’re just… happy.”

Sirius chuckled, rolling his eyes. “Sure, happy. At least now the rest of us don’t have to suffer watching you two make eyes at each other from across the room, pretending it’s not obvious.”

You laughed, taking a sip. Sirius was right—after all the glances, lingering touches, and awkward silences, everyone else had caught on long before you had. You had probably been more transparent than you’d thought.

“Alright, alright, so maybe we were both a little clueless,” you admitted with a laugh. “But we’re here now, aren’t we?”

Sirius shrugged with a grin. “I suppose I’ll allow it. But really, you’ve got Remus so wrapped up, it’s a miracle he can think straight.”

You grinned and roll your eyes playfully. At some point both of you decided that one shot wasn’t enough. You left the cup on the table and start taking more shots.

 “Finally!” James called, reaching out to pull you both into the mix with the rest of the students. How many shots had you have? You were not sure, but the party was going great.

Sirius threw you a wink and headed to join Peter, who was challenging some Ravenclaws to a drinking game, while you spotted Remus near the edge of the dance floor, looking a little shy but grinning at you. You stepped up to him with a smile, holding out your hand.

“Care to dance?” you asked, warmth in your voice.

Remus took your hand, pulling you close as the music picked up, and you swayed together, everything around you blurring into background noise. With his arms wrapped around you, it felt like there was no one else there. He looked down, brushing a few strands of hair from your face, his gaze soft.

“Stop looking at me like that” you slurred out, already drunk.

“I can´t when you look this hot, love” he muttered pulling you even closer to him and smirking. He had been smoking, you could smell the cigarettes when he talked.

You didn’t know what came over you. Maybe it was the alcohol coursing through your veins, or the confidence that had settled in after a few shots. Or maybe, it was just the way Remus looked at you—like you were the only person in the room, and Merlin, he was the most beautiful boy you’d ever seen. Whatever it was, you closed the small gap between you, pulling him into a kiss. This time, neither of you held back.

His hands tightened on your waist, fingers digging in like he was anchoring himself to you. You ran your hands through his hair, tugging him closer as the kiss deepened, turning messy and desperate.But you liked it. You liked him, you loved him.

After a breathless moment, you both pulled back, eyes glazed and cheeks flushed. Remus looked down at you, his lips parted as he tried to catch his breath, a dazed grin spreading across his face.

“Your dorm or mine?” you asked, breathlessly, voice filled with barely-contained excitement. There was no way you were staying at this party now.

“Mine,” he said without hesitation, his voice thick with the same intensity, his hand already tugging you towards the door. Neither of you spared a glance at your friends, who were far too drunk to notice your swift exit..

Don’t get him wrong—Remus absolutely adored your outfit. But he’d adore it even more once it was on the floor of his dorm.

[mallowsweetmiri]

Bestfriend!Marauders with no boundaries accidentally make you sick and take care of you

some comfort fluff marauders content because the election is actually giving me existential dread and anxiety lol.

⋆ ˚｡ ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡ ⋆

There was nothing worse than getting sick. Actually, there was something worse. There was your best friends testing out an experimental prank, which resulted in a magical fungus puffing you with its spores, that led to you developing a serious cold. And the worst part is, they begged you not to go to the hospital wing.

"We're so sorry Y/N," James frowned, covering his face with his shirt and brushing the specks off of your hair.

"Please, forgive us," Sirius pleaded, also covering his mouth from the spores. "But you can't tell Madam Pomfrey. She'll give us another month of detention and we have something big planned next month." You coughed through the dissipating cloud and sneezed before glaring daggers at Sirius.

"Why can't I just tell her I ran into this thing outside? I won't mention you dreadful lot," you grumbled, pushing James' hand away from your hair and doing it yourself. He frowned even more and stepped back with his eyes on his feet.

"Well, the thing is," Peter chuckled nervously, "there technically wouldn't be any of those around the grounds. Because, well, it's not exactly, legal, per se." Peter finished off his rambling and looked at anything but you. You whined in frustration and sneezed again. These idiots had somehow acquired an off the market plant in order to pull off god knows what kind of prank. It was only your luck that you would be walking into the room just as Peter was exiting with the plant, causing a collision that ended with spores being dispersed directly into your sinuses. Remus could see your frustration at their idiocracy and stepped forward, although he was still covering his mouth with his shirt.

"Dove, I know you're upset, and you should be. It was very irresponsible for us to have that in the dorm at all, " Remus raised his brows and looked at the three boys behind him. They all nodded their heads in shame. "And you're being such an angel by not going to the hospital wing," He looked back at them again and the three boys nodded fervently, mumbling praises and compliments to you. "So let us take care of you, Y/N. I promise we'll make it up to you." You could almost see his charming smile through his shirt and you rolled your eyes in defeat. James' smile spread all the way to his eyes as he enthusiastically stepped forward.

"Yes, just let us take care of you," he grinned, grabbing your elbow with his free hand and guiding to you the door. "First order of business, airing out this room so we don't all get sick. Let's go get some fresh air while Pete and Sirius clean things up in here." There were sounds of protest but James was already leading you down the stairs, continuing to dust any residue off of your hair and shirt. Remus followed behind, fanning out the trail of dust James was leaving. Once the three of you finally reached the common room, James sat you down on a couch and promptly removed his "mask" beginning to feel your forehead and cheeks.

"Okay, okay," you chuckled, gently moving his doting hands off your face. "I'm not that sick. I've only got a little cough and sniffles." James looked back at Remus with deep concern, which Remus returned. Your eyebrows furrowed together.

"Well, dove. Peter actually said that the spore would make the victim extremely ill. Fever, congestion, and a terrible cough," Remus said compassionately, giving you a look of pity as he rested his hand on your leg to break the news. You looked at him with exasperation as you let out a cry which subsequently made you cough. James let out a huff of sadness as he moved to embrace you into his lap, swaying you as you groaned at your circumstances.

"We're so sorry, Y/N," James whispered, petting your hair with his hand. He then looked up to Remus and added, "I hope it's not contagious."

Within the next twenty minutes of waiting for Sirius and Peter, you got significantly worse. At first it was the sneezing, but soon your body fell into terrible chills. Remus got you water and helped you drink while James had taken off his sweatshirt and promptly placed it over you, the material swallowing your frame. By the time Sirius bounded down the stairs to tell you the room was clean, you had snot blocking your airways. James didn't say a word as he scooped you up and carried you up the stairs.

"Is she doing okay?" Sirius asked, his voice dripping in concern as he peeked over James shoulder to catch a glimpse of you. Remus shook his head and pat Sirius on the back as they followed you to the dorm. James placed you in his bed, where Peter was already fluffing up the pillows and opening the covers for you to slip under.

"Oh, Y/N," Peter murmured, tucking your body under the covers and fussing with the pillows. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have been so careless. This was a terrible, terrible idea." You shook your head and placed you hand on his arm to stop him.

"No," you croaked, pausing to clear your throat, "It's okay Peter. What's done is done. Could you maybe bring me some tea and biscuits, please?" You gave him puppy eyes, but you hardly think you needed them. Peter was already halfway out the door and on his way to the kitchens. Remus went to the bathroom to dampen a washcloth, and both Sirius and James took seats on the edge of the bed. James lightly massaged your temples, causing you to sigh in relief. You could feel Sirius pouting and he looked severely distraught, almost to the point of tears.

"Siri," you sniffled, reaching out for his hand. He grabbed it gently and let out a choked sob.

"I'm sorry, Y/N," he whimpered. You shushed him and squeeze his hand.

"Siri, it's okay. You don't have to apologize for anything. It was an accident," you reassured him. He nodded but looked away from you. You were certain he was crying, and you knew it had to do with his remaining guilt of the prank™. Before you could sit up to comfort him further, his form shifted to Padfoot, and he quietly nuzzled his way into your lap, rubbing his snout gently into your chest. You huffed out a smile and relaxed into the bed, looking up at James who had a light smile on his face. Remus came back and placed the damp washcloth on your head.

"Hey, Pads," Remus whispered as he pat the dog on his head. Padfoot huffed but remained with his head on your chest, your hand stroking him rhythmically. James did the same but to your cheek, his eyes glued to your face as he watched with concern for any signs of discomfort. After a while, Remus had settled in his bed next to yours, reading a book quietly as Sirius and James stayed on your bed, both in an attempt to comfort you. It was quite working, and after a few minutes, you were dozing off to sleep. It was unfortunate that your body jolted awake after choking on a wet cough. You startled Padfoot as your body jolted up, followed by a honking cough that cut through your throat. You groaned as you head pounded with pressure.

"Water," you croaked, scrambling to sit up. Sirius jumped off the bed and transformed quickly, coming forward to help you sit up.

"Oh, darling," Sirius cooed, using his hands to shift your body into a sitting position. He took the water from Remus and brought it your mouth slowly. You cautiously took a sip and let out a sigh of relief. You went in for a second sip but your lungs had other plans, sputtering up a cough as you tried to sip. This caused all three boys to instantly take the water away and begin doting over you, patting your back and wiping the water off your chin. Peter entered the room to the chaotic scene.

"Oh merlin," Peter said hurriedly, setting his tray down on the bedside table. You waved your hands as you went through your fit of coughing.

"I'm fine," you swallowed, laying back against the headboard. You heard sighs as the boys bodies slouched in relief. "Biscuits?" you smiled sheepishly, only mildly embarrassed of the disgusting noises you had been making. Peter grinned and brought them over to you.

"M'lady," he held the tray out for you to take one. As you reached for one to bring to your mouth, Remus tutted.

"Slowly," he said with a warning brow raised. You rolled your eyes and brought the cookie to your open mouth at a comedically slow speed, causing Sirius and James to sputter down a laugh. Remus rolled his eyes right back but smiled when you finally bit into the cookie. Not a single boy left your side as they continued to feed you tea and cookies until the plate was empty. You let out a yawn and had James instantly at his trunk.

"I'm going to wrap you up now," James said, matter of factly as he brought a blanket towards you. "Time for sleep." You tried to protest but your body betrayed you as another yawn met your lips. James hummed as he wrapped the blanket around you, using his sheer strength to lift you body and place you back into a laying position as if you were a doll. At some point, Padfoot had gone back to dog form and was once again nuzzle his way next to your body. You gladly patted his ears as he settled down, and closed your eyes as James leant down to kiss your forehead. Remus began to close the bed shades as Peter took the now finished food tray away.

"Sleep well, Y/N," Remus whispered, stroking your cheek with his thumb.

"Just tap Padfoot if you need something," James smiled, closing the curtains on his side. "Merlin, that is the cutest thing I've ever seen."

"Thanks boys," you murmured as darkness swept over the bed. You let out a sigh of content as you gently pet Padfoot. Maybe being sick wasn't the worst thing in the world after all.

[slut4prongs]

“i will if you kiss me?”

james potter x fem!reader

2k words

description: James needs a tutor in Herbology and you’re the best at it.

"A tutor? Seriously Minnie?"

"Yes seriously, Mr. Potter. You're failing Herbology, and if you do not pass your exam next Friday, you'll have to be benched from the quidditch match that weekend."

James threw his head back and groaned, "Can Remus tutor me? Or Lily?"

The professor shakes her head, "No, Ms. Y/I/n will be your tutor as she is most proficient in the subject. You are to meet her in the library tomorrow at 4:00. Understood?"

"Yes ma'am" He states as he salutes her and turns to exit McGonagall's office.

-

Laughing, that's all Sirius has done since James returned to the dorms and told his fellow Marauders about his tutoring issue.

"I can't, I can't breathe, oh this is too good. Herbology?

You're failing Herbology?" Sirius huffs out in between his hysterical laughter whilst slumping against the shoulder of his werewolf boyfriend.

"Yes Padfoot, I'm failing Herbology and have to get tutoring from that Y/I/n girl.” James huffs as he flops onto his back on his bed.

"I've never even spoken to the girl, hell I don't think I've ever heard her speak in general." The bespectacled boy continues as he stares up at the red canopy above his bed.

"She's nice." Remus says casually.

"Funny too." Sirius adds on.

James shoots up in his bed to look at the couple.

"You guys know her?"

"Yeah, I study with her sometimes,”

"And I've met her when I'm bugging Remus while they study" Sirius smirks.

James groans and flops back down, his head filled with dread of the upcoming tutoring session.

-

You let out a groan after looking up from your watch.

It's 4:15, fifteen minutes past when James Potter was supposed to arrive for tutoring.

You decide to wait five more minutes and if he's not here then you're leaving.

Of course, five more minutes do pass and he hasn't arrived. So, you start to back up your textbooks, parchment, and other supplies.

"Hi, hey, sorry.. I'm late"

You look up to see one James Potter standing before you out of breath.

Did he run here?

He sits across from you and you roll your eyes slightly.

"Just don't be again, or you'll have to find someone else to help you."

He tilts his head to the side slightly and his eyebrows knit together in confusion.

If you weren't already annoyed, you would have found the sight to be adorable.

"I thought Minnie said there was no one else who could tutor me?"

"Exactly. You reply, your lips forming a tight sarcastic smile as you take your supplies back out to begin studying.

James eyes widen a bit in shock, his lips part slightly as well before they curl up into a smile.

Maybe this girl isn't that quiet.

-

A few hours have passed and the two students are quietly laughing amongst themselves as they pack up their books.

The pair head out of the library and walk until they reach a point where they have to go in separate directions.

James up towards the Gryffindor tower and you down into the cellars to reach the Hufflepuff dorms.

"Okay, I'll see you in the library on Thursday. At 4:00.

Do not be late or so help me James, I will-"

"Okay, okay, I got it, l'lI be there at 4:00. Promise." He says putting his hands up in mock surrender.

"Mhmm" You hum. "See you then James."

You turn and head down the stairs into the cellar but not without hearing James yell "Goodbye" down the stairwell at you.

-

You walk into the Great Hall with your friends shortly after bidding your goodbyes to James and depositing your bag in your dorm.

On your walk to the Hufflepuff table, you glance over at the Gryffindor table and end up catching the glasses-covered eyes of a certain boy who seems to have already been watching you.

James just smiles and waves, and you can almost swear you saw his cheeks turn a little pink when you returned the gesture.

"Okay, what was that?" Your friend Sarah asks as you take your seats at your house's table.

"What was what?" You ask in return while serving yourself some food.

"Oh I don't know, maybe the fact that, The James Potter just waved at you. And then blushed?!" Your other friend Beth exclaims.

“I'm tutoring him. We just had our first session before dinner. And he did not blush."

"I'm sorry? You're tutoring the guy you've been crushing on since third year and didn't tell us??" Sarah whisper-yells at you.

"First of all, shut up. Second of all I did not and do not have a crush on him. Just thought he was cute."

"Mhm, sure Y/n, sure." Beth drones sarcastically.

-

At 3:45 on Thursday afternoon, Sirius Black is almost 100% sure he is about to murder his best mate.

"James, if you don't sit the fuck down l'm going to shove your head into a blender." Sirius says exasperated.

"Merlin Pads, that's violent." James shudders and sits down on the end of his bed in lieu of the pacing he was doing previously.

"Oh c'mon Padfoot, he's just excited to see his tutor that he has a big fat crush on.” Peter teases without even looking up from the deck of cards he's messing with.

"Shut up, I don't have a crush on her. I just think she's nice, and funny.. and really pretty.”

"Godric, you are so gone" Remus laughs.

"Oh, whatever, piss off. I'm leaving now."

"It's only 3:50, aren't you supposed to meet at 4:00?" Peter questions his friend.

“Yeah, but I was late last time so I want to be sure I'm not again." James hurries out before leaving the dorm to head to the library.

-

You walk into the library at 4:00 exactly to find James already sitting at the table with his notes out and reading his textbook.

"Hi James." You smile as you approach him and sit down across from him.

"Y/n! Hi!" James beams at you when he looks up at you from his book. "I'm not late this time." He says proudly.

"You are not" You smile and laugh softly at him and this time since you aren't annoyed you do acknowledge the thought that bounces around your head.

Merlin, he's cute.

-

A week later you find yourself in the library yet again with James for your final tutoring session before his exam tomorrow.

Over the last week you had both spent a good deal of time together even outside of your sessions.

James would find you in the halls between classes and claim that he had Herbology related questions but really it was just an excuse to walk you to class. And you knew that, he always asked almost the exact same question.

Or he and his friends would walk by where you were sitting outside reading and you would call his name and he would immediately bid goodbye to his friends to hangout with you for a while.

Sometimes you would just continue reading but out loud for him to listen as well, or sometimes he had a bunch of energy and would spend an hour rambling about whatever he happened to be excited about at the time.

You always listen thoroughly and James noticed and felt extremely happy as most people tune him out when he rambles.

He even apologized the first time he did it because he assumed he was annoying you. You immediately shut that idea down.

But right now when you're trying to make sure he knows everything that is going to be on his exam tomorrow and won't stop asking random questions you need him to stop.

"James."

He doesn't even seem to hear you and just keeps talking and flailing his hands around.

"James." You say again a little louder.

Still nothing.

Luckily during the last few sessions you have started sitting next to each other so you are able to act on the thought you have.

You reach up one of your hands and place it on James's jaw and turn his head to face you.

In doing this you also brought his face significantly closer to your own.

"James."

"Y/n."

James sounds a little breathless when he speaks and you watch as his eyes dart around your face for a while but they linger on your lips most often.

"James, you need to focus on the work, your exam is tomorrow.”

"Right." He sighs dreamily, still not fully paying attention to what you're saying.

"So will you focus on the work now?" You ask him softly, your own breathing beginning to become a bit heavier under his gaze.

He glances back down at your lips again before looking into your eyes and speaking.

"I will if you kiss me?"

You giggle at him and smile.

"Fine but you better focus after.”

With that you lean in and connect your lips in a gentle yet passionate kiss.

When you both pull away you're grinning at one another.

"I don't think I can ever focus on anything but that ever again." James smiles.

You wack his shoulder lightly and smile.

"James! Work, now!" You groan but even then you're still grinning.

"Okay, okay! Focusing now." He says as he turns back to the notes in front of him.

He wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you closer to him while you begin to explain what he needs to remember again.

-

It's Friday afternoon, classes have just ended and you are making your way through a crowded hall trying to get down to your common room when you hear someone shout your name behind you.

You turn around and are greeted by the wonderful sight of James running up to you.

Once he reaches you he bends over, placing his hands on his knees, in an attempt to catch his breath, so you pull him off to the side of the corridor so you're not in anyone's way.

"You good there James?" You smile and place your hand on his back gently.

"Yeah, yeah I'm good." He huffs as he stands back up to his full height.

"But..look! Look!" He says excitedly waving a piece of parchment in your face.

"James, love, you've got to stop waving it around if you want me to look.

James' hand immediately stops moving and his face flushes at the name.

You smile and grab the parchment from his hand and read over the title.

Final Herbology Exam.

And next to that was the number 95% in black ink.

"Oh my godric, James!" You exclaim and jump up to wrap your arms around his neck.

He quickly responds by wrapping his own arms around your waist and lifting you slightly off the ground.

"I'm so proud of you!" You excitedly but softly say into his ear.

"It's all thanks to you." He responds in the same tone as he sets your feet back on the ground but neither of you make any moves to release each other from your arms.

You move your head from the side of his to look at him and smile.

He quickly leans in and kisses you sweetly. When he pulls back he murmurs against your lips.

"Thank you for tutoring me."

You smile against him before responding.

"Of course, had to have the best player on Gryffindor on the pitch to make it all the sweeter when Hufflepuff wins."

He pulls his face back quickly and his eyes snap open to see the smirk stretching across your lips.

"How dare you!" He gasps dramatically before continuing to speak. "You have to support Gryffindor now." He finishes matter of factly.

"Now why would I do that? I'm in Hufflepuff.”

"Because, your boyfriend is the captain of the Gryffindor team."

"My boyfriend, huh?" You tease.

"I mean, if you'd want me to be?" He smiles sheepishly.

"Obviously I do, James." You smile before pressing your lips against his again before pulling back quickly again.

"But I'm still supporting Hufflepuff tomorrow."

"No.. love." He groans as you release yourself from his arms and start to walk away.

He follows after you like a lost puppy and continues begging you to support Gryffindor tomorrow.

Little does he know you intended to the whole time.

-

[calliopesdiary]

“Super Boy and the Invisible Girl”

based on; superboy and the invisible girl from next to normal!

summary; fem!potter!reader knows while her parents love her, that james will always be their favorite. leaving her wishing she were invisible… until remus lupin comes along.

warnings; just fluff and angst, reader is a potter, reader x remus lupin, cussing here and there, james being oblivious, sirius black being a prick, reader is a ravenclaw, reader struggles with eating, one use of y/n, (i tried guys 😭)

a/n; came up with this idea on holiday! hope you all enjoy 🥐

not proofread or edited

****************************************************

superboy and the invisible girl

Home for the holidays with the Potters were no joke, bright christmas trees decorated every corner. light tinsel strung across each fireplace. mistletoe hung on the doorways. christmas lights hung on the exterior of the house. but for you, it never felt like “home for the holidays”, it felt more like; solitude for the holidays.

You knew your parents loved you, make so mistake of that. it was just depressing to be able to tell that your parents did indeed have a favorite child. James, The golden child, he could truly do no wrong in their eyes. He was seeker on the Gryffindor Quidditch Team, than there was you, who could only stand to the sides. Story of your life, really. You often wondered what it’d be like to be able to magically appear and disappear whenever she pleased. which— she could practically do if she didn’t talk at all at family gatherings. it felt like your entire family preferred James, it was all; “how’s James’ studies?” or “We are just so proud of James, i mean— he’s a seeker for Gryffindor! couldn’t be prouder, really”. it didn’t bother you— most gatherings, but Christmas at home was just… different

Maybe it was the fact whenever you asked your parents if you’re friends could come for a change, but they would always apologize and explain that they had already spoken with James about his friends coming over, typical.

Maybe it was that you really couldn’t stand Sirius or Peter. but something about Remus was calming, not sure what, but he was much sweeter and calmer than the other three.

“James!!” Euphemia squealed as she practically jumped into him. “Hi, Mom” James’ dazzling smile was annoying to you, but absolutely adorable to Effie. She hugged his friends closely, like they were her own children. and then, You walked into your own house, and all you got was: “Hi sweetie, missed you” She pecked your forehead and smiled, before walking off too soon to ask about Quidditch or his grades, leaving you to stand in the doorway and peer at your house as you slowly traveled up the stairs and went to hide in your room. It was nicely decorated, besides— it’s not like you had much help. You flopped down on your bed, finally allowing the melancholy tears roll down your cheeks, not soon before wiping them away.

he’s a hero, a lover, a prince. shes not there.

You heard a quiet knock on your door. “Come in.” You called, hearing the door to your bedroom creak open softly. “Hey… I just came to drop this off.” Remus held his hand out with a small box resting on his palm. “Who’s this for?” You snickered, gently taking the box. “Well… you, of course” He admitted shyly, “Oh…” You seemed surprised, to his confusion. “You look surprised?” He chuckled softly at your puzzled expression. “I’m not. It’s just— people don’t really give me gifts. But I appreciate it. a lot” He simply smiled, and nodded a soft goodbye, retiring to his own room to presumably unpack. You on the other hand, carefully tore open the package he had given to you, placing the ribbon down gently on the side table. The tiny box revealed a small necklace with a small crystal on the end and a note reading;

“Ive noticed you tend to be forgotten, but I finally thought of something to possibly make you smile.

Happy Christmas, Dove.

Remus”

You smiled— obviously. Possibly the sweetest note you had ever received, not that you received many, But it was special nonetheless. You assumed that Euphemia was probably making dinner. You detested eating in public, it scared you. people watching you while you ate? watching how much you were eating? living hell.

You knew you couldn’t get yourself out of this one. Besides, if not Remus, someone would’ve called you out for it, whether it was your oblivious brother or Sirius mocking you for it, someone would. You quickly slid on some “acceptable” clothes and quietly walked down the staircase, before running back up to clip on the necklace Remus had given you.

“Hi, Dad” You mustered up some sort of smile, not really meaning it but attempting it for him. “hm? Oh! y/n. lovely to see you, dear.” Fleamont replied, clearly occupied chattering with Sirius about recent Quidditch strategies. You sighed, sliding into your usual seat, which was luckily next to Remus. What was this connection you felt with him? probably just comfort, atleast— you hoped. James would go ballistic if you and Remus liked eachother, even if he barely paid any mind to you, he’d still care. eventually, Effie served dinner. It was an array of different meats and vegetables and such. Yet you didn’t grab much, “Are you gonna get any more?” Asked Remus, having a worried expression on his scarred face. “I’m not really hungry.” You answered, “Oh.” He shrugged, he didn’t think much of it, just girls being girls. You ate your tiny portion and opted to say at the table rather than leave, maybe your parents would ask how your studies were.

Fleamont cleared his throat. “So, Boys. How’s everything been going at school this semester?” You narrowed your eyes, taking a sip of water so you didn’t spat something out you’d regret. “Good, so far atleast. Slytherins usually get in the way of enjoyment.” Sirius stated, while you felt your blood boil since you were good friends with some Slytherins, including his own brother, Regulus Black. “Well that’s typical. What about Quidditch? Wins for Gryffindor?” He placed some more food in his mouth. “Won every games this season, Slytherin plays bloody dirty, and the Ravenclaws are to busy shoving their heads in books to be any good.” James replied, knowing full well you were a Ravenclaw, but he must’ve just forgotten that you were there. “They should read some books about Quidditch.” Sirius snickered. “Detentions this semester?” Effie added. “No.. Course not.” Peter blatantly lied. “But we have played some bloody brilliant pranks on Slytherin this year.” Sirius added. “Thats how it’s done, boys!” Fleamont laughed.

I wish i could fly, I’d fly far away from here.

You’d felt it coming, the word vomit. after hours of silence from you, you finally spoke up.

“What about me?” You asked, The entire table falling silent.

“What about you?” Sirius snickered, as did James.

“I- I just didn’t hear that anyone wished to know about how my school year went.” You were done with silence. “Why would we? you probably just sat in your dorm, reading.” James snarled, going back to his food. “So it doesn’t matter that I made top marks?” You inquired, “That’s great, love. But your brother has won Gryffindor wins recently and—“ You cut her off quickly. “And you haven’t gotten a chance to hear him brag for 3 months? forgive me.” You started defensively. “I’m sorry, but i’m not going to sit here and listen to you ask James and his friends how they are and how their studies are when nobody bothers to ask me the entire night.” You absolutely knew that you felt angry, it was just your first time speaking out on the matter. “Quit lashing out, you’re being disrespectful.” Fleamont stared daggers into you. “You know, atleast James has the guts to not pretend to actually love me.” You took a sip of your water while everyone else gasped and took glances at eachother. “How dare you!” James started. “I just want to know why you guys only care about James? what did I do?” You asked, with small tears filling your eyes.

“Oh, Honey. You’re not pretty enough to be this stupid.” Sirius spat

slience.

superboy and the invisible girl

he’s the one you wish would appear

he’s your hero, forever your son.

than there’s me.

You sat up and bolted off, real tears filling your eyes this time. How fucking could he? Time had felt like it froze for the solid hour you spent outside your house sobbing, wondering if they regretted anything. You wondered yourself if you regretted you had said, but you didn’t feel guilty, you felt betrayed. You tried so hard to not believe him, yet you did. The rose bushes swallowed you whole as you laid in the soft grass, sobbing quietly as you heard several people walk past you, attempting to find you. until Remus hovered over you, “Dove, your hiding spots are getting all too simple.” He smirked, clearly attempting to lighten the mood. You sniffed, rolling onto your side to continue your crying. “Shh… Dovie, I hate seeing you cry…” He crouched down to your level, wrapping his arms around your midriff and pulling you up to him as you cried. “It’s okay, baby… everything’s okay… nobody’s mad… please…” He whispered sweet nothings into your ears as his warmth eased your crying. “It’s like the minute James is in the room, nobody cares about me anymore.” You were shaking softly. “They love you, Dove. I love you.” Remus kissed the top of your forehead. “You don’t mean that.” You stated, seeming quite sure of yourself. “I do, please.” He sounded so reassuring, like you could trust in at all costs. “I- Is James mad at me?” You asked, unsure of yourself. “Not anymore, I’m pretty sure Effie talked to him, but I came to find you.” He shrugged, resting his chin on her shoulder. “I shouldn’t have lashed out.. it’s just— I cant stand to be forgotten time after time again.” You admitted, blushing softly as he gently pressed you against him. “Everyone understands, Dove. I think they’d like to apologize.” He grinned at her, since her tears had stopped. “You hungry?” He asked, pulling out chocolate from his jacket pocket. “I don’t know if I really need that—“ You started to protest. “Nonsense, eat.” He practically force-fed you the chocolate. “Thank you.” You giggled softly. “And i think you might need this, too.” He pecked your lips, leaving you speechless. “I could never forget you.” He stood up and practically ran off. “Remus Lupin!” You yelled, darting after him

Looks like someone finally remembered you.

end ☁️

[theundercoversquid]

A trip to 12 Grimmauld Place

Pairing: Remus Lupin x Reader

Request: I saw the trip to diagon alley fic I love the idea of Remus and reader adopting Harry and not telling anyone and also them having their own biological children I was wondering if you could make more like this maybe where their kids are older

Maybe even include some uncle Sirius when he escapes from Azkaban and they visit him at grimmauld place

Warnings: Pregnancy

A/N: Part of the Domestic Bliss universe but can be read alone!

A/N2: How much do you guys want me to mess with canon? I feel that growing up in a loving home (but specifically with Remus) means that Harry would probably be a different person and make different decisions.

Masterlist

Domestic Bliss universe

"Hurry up, boys." You called up the stairs. "Or your father and I will leave with ought you."

A series of thuds and crashes met your words. But you just fondly rolled your eyes as you got back to packing your bag, ready to go.

"First." A voice shouted before you felt a hand land on your shoulder.

"Oh, come on!" Another voice shouted. "That's not fair."

"You snooze, you lose." The voice closest to you called out.

"Hello, my dear." You laughed. Pressing a kiss to the top of Harry's head.

Then, only a moment later, you heard the sound of thundering feet as your other son, Teddy came charging down the stairs. Hurtling towards you.

Crashing into you, Teddy wrapped his arms around you.

"Hello, my love." you greeted. Pressing a kiss to his forehead, too.

"Are you two muppets ready to leave now?" You questioned them as you picked up your bag.

"Yeah." Harry grinned. Tugging at your arm as, he pulled you into the living room where Remus was waiting. 

Sat in his favourite armchair with a newspaper open on his lap.

When he heard the three of you enter the room, he folded the newspaper. Standing up, he deposited it back on his seat as he walked towards you and the boys.

"Shall we, my lady." Remus teased. Bowing to you in an overexaggerated way.

Laughing, you swatted at his arm as you led your boys out of the house. Make sure to lock the door behind you.

When you got out into the garden you grabbed a hold of Teddy as Remus took Harry.

"Everyone ready?" You called out.

When all your boys replied with sounds of agreement, you and Remus both disappeared with a pop.

Reappearing in a narrow alleyway just down from Grimuld place. 

Momenterly fussing over your boys, you made sure that no one had been spliced before you all walked out of the alleyway.

Harry and Teddy leapt ahead, teasing each other as they ran ahead. Rasing up to number 12. With his longer legs, Teddy ended up making it first. His hand reached for the knocker as he stuck his tongue out at Harry.

The door flew open not even a moment later as Sirues towering frame took over the doorway.

"Well, if it isn't the lupins," Sirius beamed as he took in the sight of your little family. "Come in, come in." He waved as she stepped to the side, allowing you all to come.

The moment the door was safely shut behind the five of you, and you were out of the foyer, Harry and Teddy threw themselves at Sirus.

Who only laughed. Wrapping them up in a great big hug.

"How are my favourite troublemakers?" Sirues questioned them.

Causing them to chatter on to him about there exploits as he momentarily comes over to you and Remus.

"And how are the pair of you?" Sirues questions quickly as he pulls you into a hug. Pressing a kiss to both your cheeks.

"We are good." Remus assured him. As he got pulled into his own hug by Sirues.

"How are you?" You asked Sirues softly.

"Oh I'm good." Sirues waved off your concern. "Same old, same old."

You only fondly smiled at him as Harry and Teddy came up to Sirues. Each grabbing him by an arm as together they pulled him off so they could carry on chatting his ear off about something.

You couldn't quite make out what they were saying, and quite frankly, you weren't sure if you wanted to.

Also, watching the scene from behind you, Remus snorted.

"if we left now, how long do you think it would take for them to notice?" He asked you teasingly.

"Don't say that." You laughed. Gently hitting him in the chest.

Laughing, Remus grabbed the offending hand and brought it to his lips. Dropping a delicate kiss to your knuckles you and Remus finally followed after the chaos that was your children and a certain Sirues black.

You followed the three of them into the living room, where Sirues was sitting in the middle of the sofa. One of your boys on either side as Harry, seemed to be narrating an exciting tale. His hands waving as Teddy and Sires just watched on. Occasionly nodding.

Smiling at the scene, you and Remus sat in the nearby Love seat. Your bodies pressed together as you fondly watched the scene in front of you.

You didn't know what you would do with ought your boys. They really were your whole world.

[hitmewithsomebooks]

@jegulus-microfic Feb 12 - fireside

1331 words

~

James couldn't sleep. He'd tossed and turned for the past hour and a half, and he really wasn't good at laying there and waiting for nothing.

Frustrated, he got out of bed, deciding he’d go visit Regulus. He grabbed his wand, the map, and the invisibility cloak, throwing it over himself before descending the stairs. Just as he made it to the portrait hole, a voice rang out.

"Where are you off to so late at night, prongs?"

Fuck. Damn Moony and his werewolf senses.

James contemplated simply ignoring him and leaving, but he knew Remus would just bring it up later, possibly in front of Sirius. And he knew what this was really about. He sighed, removing the cloak and going over to the couch.

"Sit," Remus invited, patting the cushion next to him. "Let's have a little fireside chat".

James complied, plopping himself down at the other end.

"I'm going to get right to the point, James." Remus said, and James knew this was serious because they rarely used each other's real names.

"Are you dating Regulus?" He asked, looking a sheepish James in the eye. The other boy gulped, shifting in his seat. He knew there was no lying to Moony.

"Yes." He forced out, sweating under Remus's firm gaze. The werewolf let out a breath and closed his eyes.

"Really, James? Sirius's little brother?" James could hear the disappointment in his voice, and he felt almost like he was being scolded by his father.

"I didn't choose it, alright? It just kind of... happened. Trust me, moony, I tried not to give in. " James whined, and Remus shot him a disbelieving look.

"Yeah? For how long, exactly?"

"Well I don't know about exactly, but..."

"Prongs." 

"Maybe a week?" Remus rolled his eyes, groaning.

"C'mon, Remus, look how head-over-heels you are for Sirius! There's a certain charm around the Black brothers. You know it. They're both basically the heads of their houses because of it." James tried to reason, until Remus shot him a deadly look.

"So you're just dating him because he's alluring? Shiny?  What, are you going to drop him the moment he graduates and falls from Slytherin princehood?" Remus growled, and James realized his mistake.

"What?! No, no no no no no! It's not like that, Remus, I swear. I don't care about shit like that, you know that!" James insisted, his tone growing desperate.

"I do know that, James. But like you said, the Black brothers are alluring." Remus snarked, and now James was getting frustrated. This wasn't how he saw Regulus at all. How did Moony not know this? Is this really how Remus viewed him??

"Fuck, Remus, that's not what I meant!" James bellowed, and Remus's eyebrows raised. James huffed, settling down again before he woke up the whole of Gryffindor tower.

"Then what did you mean, prongs?" Remus pressed, still questioning, but his tone was slightly gentler now.

"I... I just... I was just trying to tell you deeply he affected me, Remus. How I truly couldn't resist. I feel like he used a fucking stupefy on me, I swear, he caught me so off guard. I don't see him as some shiny, popular object, Remus. He's so much more, he's everything..." James trailed off, looking distraught. He'd always struggled with putting his thoughts and feelings into words, and right now they really mattered. Thankfully for James, Remus understood. He could see the love the Gryffindor held for the younger boy.

"I believe you, prongs. You love him, don't you?" Remus queried softly, and James nodded his head, dropping it into his hands. "So much, Moony." He whispered, his voice cracking. Remus rubbed a hand along his back.

"You're going to have to tell him at some point." The werewolf told him, and James groaned.

"Which one?"

Remus let out a humorless chuckle.

"Both, at some point. You should probably tell Regulus first, though." He advised, patting his friend's back before standing up, wincing as his knees creaked. James looked up at him, eyes wide. Remus could see the wetness around them.

"Now?" He quavered, and Remus gave him a sympathetic look.

"Not necessarily right now, if you're not ready. But it should be sooner rather than later."

James worried his bottom lip between his teeth, looking to be at war.

"I... I think I'm gonna tell him now." He decided, though he looked scared.

"Yeah?"

"I... yeah. I need to." James confirmed, expression firmer now.

"I'm proud of you, prongs." Remus praised, and James gave him an appreciative, if slightly watery, smile, before slipping out the portrait hole.

*

When Regulus opened the door, he was met by nothing. He looked around, confused, before a head appeared from thin air. A gasp escaped him, and quickly and tanned hand appeared and landed over his mouth. James's eyes were imploring on his floating face, and he slowly lowered his hand, grasping Regulus's arm instead. The younger boy closed the dorm door as silently as possible, before following James out into the common room.

In the warm glow of the fireplace, Regulus could see James's matted eyelashes and glossy eyes, liked he'd been crying.

"What's wrong?" He asked, cradling the older boy's cheek, brows furrowed. James leaned into it, smiling, and Regulus relaxed slightly. Chocolate eyes opened again, meeting Regulus's, and James grasped one of his hands.

"Nothing, love. Just wanted to see you."

Regulus frowned, rubbing his thumb along James's cheek.

"You look like you were crying. What's wrong?" Regulus pushed, his voice growing unsteady. James made a soothing noise, pulling Regulus close and kissing his forehead.

"Just... Remus found out about us." James mentioned, like it was a very simple thing. It wasn't.

"What?!" Regulus whisper-yelled, lurching his head back and out of James's grasp. He was more aware of his volume than James, thankfully. 

"Don't worry, he won't tell Sirius! Everything's fine." The older boy promised, clasping Regulus's hands in his own.

"Then why are you here?" Regulus questioned, his voice slightly panicked. He felt his heartbeat racing.

"To tell you that I love you, Reggie." James answered softly, and now Regulus didn't feel his heart at all.

"You- you what." The boy wheezed, feeling as though he'd forgotten how to breathe properly.

"Hey, hey, don't worry, you don't have to say anything back, I just wanted you to know. C'mon, Reggie, shh, it's okay." James soothed as he pulled Regulus into his lap, cradling him. Regulus felt like there was cotton in his ears, James's voice coming through all fuzzy and muffled.

James loved him.

James loved him.

Was this real?

"I love you too." He managed, and even his own voice sounded cottony. The silence he was met with, though, was clear, like someone had poured a bucket of ice over him. He knew it. It wasn't real.

He struggled to escape James's grasp, who seemed to snap out of his trance.

"You love me?" His voice wondered, sounding nothing short of shocked. This made Regulus pause.

"Well of course I do, James." He whined, and suddenly warm brown eyes were staring into his own.

"Fuck, I love you, Reg." James beamed, his eyes crinkling with joy. Regulus gaped a moment, still blinking himself back into reality.

"I love you too?" He answered, still unsure. James chuckled, biting his lip.

"You sure?" It had to be, now. James's joy was too radiant not to feel, not to be absolutely real.

"Yes." Regulus gasped, leaning forward. Their foreheads pressed together. "Yes, I love you, James."

"I love you too, baby."

"I love you."

"I love you." James chuckled, eyes still crinkled, running a hand through Reggie's hair.

"I love you." Regulus said, amazed by the feel of his words on his tongue. Words he hadn't said in years. At least a decade. Now that he could say them, hear them, he never wanted to stop.

"Say it again, Jamie."

"I love you."

"I love you."

[mybutcheredtongue]

I'll Love You 'til the Grass Around my Gravestone is Deceased

post azkaban sirius black x fem!reader

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE (see full series list here)

1994

A few weeks after the school term ends, you stand on a deserted street at night, looking up at the line of buildings and homes in front of you.

That's where Dumbledore told you to go to number 12...but it's not here? You're in Grimmauld Place, and in front of you is Number 11 and Number 13, with no 12 in the middle?

You squint up at the buildings ahead, sighing in frustration. If this is some sort of trick, like you have to solve a riddle every time you want to enter the Order of the Phoenix headquarters you're going to be livid.

Number 12, Grimmauld Place.

A battered door emerges out of nowhere between 11 and 13, followed swiftly by dark walls and grimy windows. You gape up at the building that's just magically appeared before you, breathing out in surprise, and then you walk up to the door and, as Dumbledore instructed you to do, tap it with your wand.

There's a click, and you warily push the door open, stepping into a dimly lit hallway and shutting the door behind you. It smells old and damp, like a derelict building. Beside you, the wallpaper peels off the walls and beneath your feet is a threadbare carpet. Painted portraits, blackened with age, line the walls.

You glance down at Dubh's crate, the handle held tightly in your fingers, and then walk down the hallway towards a door at the end. On the wall, there's shabby curtains stretching across a large space — there must be a door behind it.

"Hello?" You call, your voice echoing. "Is anybody — "

"Filth! Half-blood! I can smell it on you!"

You whip your head around to the source of this vile, ear-splitting screeching, finding the curtains you had spotted now open, except instead of there being a door behind it, you're met with a life-sized portrait of an old woman, her face red with fury as she continues to scream at you.

"Scum! How dare you set foot in this noble house, tarnish it with your foul blood — "

Dubh hisses from her crate and your ears ring with the incessant shrieking of the portrait, looking around for a solution when the door to your left suddenly bursts open, and Sirius emerges.

"Shut it, you hag, that's my wife!" he barks, seizing the end of the curtains and pulling it with all his might.

"YOOUU!" the woman howls, eyes wide at the sight of him. "Blood traitor, shame of my flesh, abomination, besmirching my blood line with such filth — "

You grab onto the ends of the curtains and with immense effort, the two of you manage to close the curtains over the screaming woman and a silence falls.

Panting slightly, Sirius sweeps his long hair out of his eyes and looks at you. "Well, I suppose you had to meet your mother-in-law eventually."

Your mouth drops and you stare back at him, a surprised laugh leaving your mouth. "You can't be serious."

He raises his eyebrows, smirking. "Actually, that's exactly who I am — "

You give his arm a soft thump, rolling your eyes. "So funny. Remind me why you didn't go into comedy?"

"Oh, because a woman forced me into marriage and I could not pursue my true comedic dreams."

He pushes open the door he came out of and, gathering your bags and Dubh's crate, you follow him down a flight of stairs and into a large basement kitchen, complete with a blazing fire in the corner and a dusty long table in the middle.

You whistle, placing your things on the table and dusting your hands off on your trousers. When Sirius turns to face you, you grab the collar of his shirt and bring his lips crashing onto yours, kissing him deeply.

After a few moments you pull away, smirking. "Still think I forced you into marriage?"

Sirius blinks, looking back at you, dumbfounded, before laughing. "Definitely not."

You glance around the room, taking in your surroundings. "So...are we going to talk about the portrait of your crazy mother or..."

He sighs, shrugging. "Welcome to my parents' house — the house I grew up in. It's just horrible, isn't it?"

He's not entirely wrong. The house is cold and dark, foreboding and lacking the warmth a home should have.

"Well, it's not very homely, anyway..." you say. "It's screaming pure-blood."

Sirius winces, tracing his fingers over the detailings on an ornate cabinet pushed against the wall. "Yes, but...I'm the last Black left, so it's mine now. I offered it to Dumbledore for headquarters — it's about the only useful thing I've been able to do."

"At least we can be together again," you say softly, offering him a smile. He looks back at you, and then returns it.

"Yes." He places his hands on your hips, drawing you closer, smiling wickedly at you. "I am definitely not complaining about that."

He kisses you fiercely, clashing together in a frenzy of passion and he slowly backs you up until you hit the table, scooping you up and placing you sitting on its surface with ease, lips still locked together. It's everything — it says everything —

"It's been too fucking long," he breathes lowly, trailing a line of kisses along your jaw, then onto your neck. He's right, it has been too long. It's not long before his mouth hits a particularly sensitive spot of your neck and your breath hitches in your throat. You feel his smug smile against your skin.

"Some things never change."

You can't resist the urge to roll your eyes, moaning softly as his strong hands slide under your shirt and run along your sides, gently caressing your skin.

"Oh, shut up."

His hands continue their wandering and his lips find yours again, tangling together as he begins to unbutton your shirt, nimble fingers loosening the top button, then the next, then the next —

Crack!

You jump at the loud noise, and Sirius breaks apart from you to look to the source of the sound — a very old house-elf that's just apparated inside the room with a feather duster in his wrinkly hands.

Your shriek and instantly pull your shirt closed, buttoning back up what Sirius had undone as he straightens up to fix the creature with an angry glare.

"Kreacher! What do you think you're doing?"

So this is Kreacher. Sirius had told you about this particular elf, whose unwavering loyalty to Walburga Black had made Sirius' home life even more unbearable.

Kreacher looks up, fixing his bloodshot eyes on you, and his large nose wrinkles. "I was not aware Master had a guest." Then, head bowed, he mutters very clearly, "What would my Mistress say, allowing such filth into her home..."

Sirius clicks his tongue agitatedly. "You were not aware, really? Did my mother's incessant shrieking not alert you?"

"I had assumed Master was simply distressing her again," Kreacher croaks, making no effort to hide his disdain for Sirius.

"Hello, Kreacher," you say, and then you tell him your name, making sure to emphasise the Black sitting on the end of it.

Kreacher's eyes go wide and he looks at you in shock, before his face twists in disgust. "Black, she says, yet she is no Black I know..."

"This is my wife, Kreacher, and you will treat her as you would any member of my family," Sirius says sternly.

Kreacher scowls at him, his hatred for him evident, before he reluctantly bows to you. "Mistress."

A little taken aback and slightly dazed, you give him a confused nod. "Kreacher."

He shuffles out of the room, exiting through the stairway door and shutting it behind him. Sirius drops his head onto your shoulder, groaning.

"He ruins everything," he says, voice muffled against your clothes. "He did that out of spite, I know it..."

You chuckle, patting his back. "I'm sure he did, hon. Now, aren't you going to show me around?"

Sirius pulls away from your shoulder to raise his eyebrows at you. "Well, I had other plans — "

"Those plans can wait," you say with a knowing smile, kissing his cheek. "I'm not too keen on Kreacher walking in on us again."

Sirius pokes his cheek with his tongue. "It could send him a much-needed message..." he sighs, taking your hands in his and helping you jump off the table, smoothing down your shirt. "Alright, I'll give you a quick tour. Word of warning, though — it's not pretty."

"Wasn't expecting it to be."

You leave the kitchen together and, as quietly as possible, sneak past Mrs Black's portrait in the hall and start to make your way up the stairs. It's dark and gloomy, but Sirius' warm hand in yours pulls you forward through the damp and dust, stopping at a door in the hallway.

"Dining room," he whispers. Then he points to another door opposite. "Study."

Opening the door to the dining room, you're met with the distinct smell of dust and mould permeating the air around you. A long dining table sits in the middle of the room, a fancy glass chandelier hanging over it and an embellished candelabra set upon the middle of the table. Pushed against the opposite wall is a tall wooden cabinet, housing items of fine china. Walking over to it curiously and peering closer, you see the plates, cups, and saucers all bear an identical crest.

"Black family crest," Sirius explains, an edge of bitterness to his voice. "It's on everything."

You drag your finger across the dining table, a long line of dust coating it when you remove it. You study it for a moment. "Has Kreacher really been here since your parents died?"

Sirius nods.

"Doesn't look like it," you say. "The place is practically untouched."

The study is equally as dusty and silent, untouched books lining the bookshelves, the only light in the room coming from your wand, held high to illuminate the room.

Retaking your hand, he pulls you upstairs, passing by a string of detached house-elf heads, stopping at the landing where three doors stand opposite.

He points to each one in turn. "Drawing room, guest bedroom, bathroom."

You follow him to the drawing room as he pushes the flaking wood door open, taking in the destitute room before you. A grand piano sits unplayed in the corner, while two antique settees stand opposite each other in front of a fireplace. A grandfather clock ticks quietly.

You run your finger along the piano keys, the ivories squeaking after so long without use. Covering the entirety of the wall behind it is a large tapestry that catches your eye. Golden thread depicts a sprawling family tree with the names of family members scrawled beneath each head, and written at the top of the tapestry in large gold letters, are the words:

The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, Toujours Pur

"Ah, the family tree," Sirius says, joining you beside the tapestry. He scans the bottom of it, pointing. "There's my mother and father, and there's Regulus..."

A sad look passes Sirius' face momentarily, but he shakes it away to point at what looks like a burn mark in the fabric, blotting out a member. "My mother must have blasted me off after I ran away, no doubt." He bends closer to the tapestry, raising his eyebrows. "I haven't looked at this in years...look, there's Phineas Nigellus, my great-great-grandfather. Least popular headmaster Hogwarts ever had...and Araminta Meliflua...cousin of my mother's...tried to force through a Ministry Bill to make Muggle-hunting legal...and dear Aunt Elladora...she started the family tradition of beheading house-elves when they got too old to carry tea trays...of course, anytime the family produced someone halfway decent they were disowned."

"Sounds lovely," you remark sourly, running your hand along the fabric. "Oh, Bellatrix and Narcissa..."

Sirius follows your hand to where Bellatrix and Narcissa Black sit on either side of another burn patch. Sirius nods thoughtfully. "That's where Andromeda would have been, Tonks's mother, but she married a Muggle-born."

He straightens back up, looking around the room grimly. "When I ran away, I didn't think I'd ever have to step foot inside this blasted place ever again. Said I'd rather see the house burn to ash before I'd return to it. Well, now look at me..."

You gently take his hand. "I know. Ideally, headquarters would be anywhere else, but...just think of this as an opportunity, Sirius. We can turn this place into a real home, make it feel real and warm. I mean, this drawing room could be beautiful!"

You gesture to the room around you, smiling at him. "We can clean it, change the wallpaper, tune the piano, take down the tapestry...I think it could be really nice."

Sirius looks at you for a moment, smiling affectionately. "It surprises me how optimistic you can be."

You shrug, leaving the drawing room and stepping into the hall once more. "I think we've seen enough hardship to let a dusty old house get the better of us, don't you think?"

He kisses his teeth. "I should let you know that my mother put a permanent sticking charm on that tapestry, by the way — she also put one on her own portrait," he tells you and you groan. "Until I find a way to remove them, I don't think they're going anywhere."

You sigh. "Of course she did."

Sirius directs you through the rest of the house, showing you the many bedrooms and even the master bedroom, where Buckbeak is sleeping soundly.

"Hello, Buckbeak," you say sweetly, stroking his soft feathers once he wakes. "Good to see you again."

Finally, you reach the final floor. Looking to your right, you see a bedroom door with a sign on it reading: Do not enter without the express permission of Regulus Arcturus Black.

You can't help but chuckle, pointing at it and reading it aloud.

"Yes, Regulus was always very picky about who went into his room..." Sirius says, shaking his head. He tugs your arm and you look away from the door, instead facing another one. There's a nameplate on the door saying Sirius.

He pushes open the door, revealing a spacious bedroom. Stepping inside, you take in the incredible amount of Gryffindor banners, posters and such. In the middle of the room is a large bed, and you let out a small laugh at the pictures of motorcycles and Muggle women in bikinis on the wall.

You point to one such picture, smiling teasingly at him. "Should I feel threatened?"

Sirius chuckles, shaking his head. "They don't hold a candle to you, love...but they'll also have to stay because fifteen-year-old Sirius put a permanent sticking charm on them."

"Anything to piss off your parents, huh?" You say, glancing around at the decor — everything that his purist parents would hate. You spot two polaroid photos stuck to the wall and feel your heart warm.

The first is of the four marauders themselves: Sirius stands in the middle with James, their arms around each other and draped over Remus and Peter. They can't be much older than fourteen, young and rosy-cheeked.

"Aw..." you coo, smiling. "You were such babies."

Sirius joins you at the photo, peering closer before he gasps in disgust. "Did my hair really look that bad? I remember it looking far cooler..."

You giggle, eyes passing over the boys' youthful faces. They look so happy.

The second photo is of you and him, lying in the snow together, laughing. Your eyes light up in recognition. "I remember this photo...Bitsy took it! I can't believe you put this up..."

"Well, I did quite fancy you, believe it or not." Sirius smiles lovingly, tapping the photo. "I remember Bitsy taking that. Right after I annihilated you in a snowball fight."

You scoff, turning to him. "Don't lie, I destroyed you in that fight. You were no match for me."

"I seem to remember differently..." he hums, grinning at you.

"Then you remember wrong."

Sirius laughs, pulling you into him and kissing you. "Enough arguing." He leads you towards his bed, gently pushing you down onto the mattress before him. "I recall us having some pressing plans to get on with..."

⁠✧⁠*⁠。✧⁠*⁠。

You awake the next morning feeling blissfully content. You think you've just gotten the best sleep of your life. Cracks of sunlight stream in through the slivers of window that aren't covered by curtains. You can hear the gentle rhythm of Sirius' heartbeat thrumming beneath your head as you lie on his chest, his own rising and falling steadily in his sleep. You move your head ever so slightly to look at him.

His face is blissfully peaceful, all tension gone from his features. His dark curls fall across his forehead, tickling his cheeks and jaw. You smile lovingly, feeling your heart warm with affection and happiness. You gently trace the outline of one of the tattoos on his arm — a small lion, for Gryffindor. It's the first tattoo he ever got, when he was around sixteen. Just to anger his parents. It had made you like him even more growing up.

He stirs, eyelids slowly fluttering open and gazing at you through his eyelashes, smiling softly.

"Morning," you whisper.

"Good morning." His voice is low and raspy with sleep. He shifts slightly, lazily drawing shapes across your arm with his hand. "I think that might be the first time I've properly slept since my capture."

You smile. "Me too. I can't explain how good it feels to wake up next to you again."

He hums, rumbling low in his throat as he leans his head down to press his lips against yours languidly.

You feel the weight of the duvet dip slightly, and something light pads along your body. Pulling away from your husband and looking up, you find yourself face-to-face with Dubh, her eyes peering down at you curiously.

You chuckle, scratching her behind the ears. "And good morning to you too, Dubh."

She purrs lightly, sniffing Sirius curiously.

"So this is the cat," Sirius remarks, reaching out to pet her. "My replacement."

Dubh leans into his touch, eagerly looking for more attention off him. She settles between the two of you, curling up against your head, purring contentedly.

You yawn, stretching your legs out under the covers. "Time to get up, Sirius."

He groans, tugging you back as you start to sit up. "Not yet. Let's just stay here for a little longer."

You chuckle, wriggling free of his grip and sitting up. "Dumbledore said there'll be a meeting this evening...we need to get up and make sure the place is clean and tidy."

Sirius doesn't seem to register this, however. "Is that...?"

You look back at him in confusion. "What?"

He points at your back, running his hand down the soft skin. "It's a constellation. And here..." He touches the skin just below your right shoulder-blade, tapping it gently. "A paw print."

You smile. "My favourite constellation, and my favourite star."

He's quiet for a moment, eyes fixed on the tattoo as you slip from the bed, your legs shaking slightly.

"You alright? Are you hurt?" Sirius asks at once, worry clear in his voice. You chuckle light-heartedly, waving your hand dismissively.

"I'm fine, darling. It's just been a long time since I've done that."

You look around the room, eventually locating your bra and underwear that had been thrown carelessly on the floor the previous night.

The pair of you spend the day painstakingly cleaning the basement kitchen, ridding it of wayward doxies and dust bunnies. Dubh is delighted, instantly locating a mouse hole and catching the mouse for herself, dumping her prize at your feet in offering, before promptly eating it when you show no interest in it.

You discover that every portrait in the hall is impossible to remove, courtesy of your darling mother-in-law. The curtains have been closed over her portrait, but a number of times you've walked into the entrance hall to find the curtains pulled back and been hit with a cacophony of screams and screeches, all because Kreacher wanted to talk to his mistress. You've gotten better at forcing the curtains shut.

That evening, despite the aching pain in your back from working all day, you sit down at the table beside Sirius for the meeting, watching as different members of the Order of the Phoenix file into the room after you've just had to go shut Walburga Black up again after someone woke her up upon entering. You spy several familiar faces from the original Order: Mundungus Fletcher, Hestia Jones, Sturgis Podmore, Elphias Doge, Dedalus Diggle...and a few new members, too: Nymphadora Tonks, Kingsley Shacklebolt, Mr and Mrs Weasley, along with their two eldest sons, Bill and Charlie.

Remus takes a seat opposite you beside Tonks, whose hair is a bright blue today, and Moody takes a seat on your right, his wooden leg clunking on the floorboards.

You beam at him. "Glad to see you back, sir."

"Aye, it's been a while," he answers gruffly, shifting in his seat. His magical eye swivels in its socket, before fixing on the ceiling above and Moody grumbles angrily, bringing a hand up to the eye. "Damn it — it keeps sticking, ever since that scum wore it — "

With a nasty squelching, sucking sound, he pops out the eye and you grimace.

"Mad-Eye, you do know that's disgusting, don't you?" Tonks says conversationally.

"Get me a glass of water, would you?" Moody asks you, and you stand up from your chair, fetching a glass and filling it with water.

"Cheers," he says when you hand him the glass. He drops the magical eye into the water and prods it up and down with his finger. It spins erratically, looking at each person at the table in turn before Moody seems satisfied, scooping the eyeball out of the water and popping it back into his head.

Dumbledore then arrives, taking a seat at the head of the table, his presence immediately commanding the attention of the room. Chats and murmurs die down and all eyes turn to him.

"Good evening," Dumbledore says, his voice warm but serious. "Thank you all for coming on such short notice. We have much to discuss."

You glance around the table, spotting Snape sitting at the far end, eyeing Sirius scathingly. You look back at Sirius, only to see he's giving him an equally loathing glare back at him.

You sigh and nudge him, bringing your mouth to his ear. "Focus."

"First things first: Number 12, Grimmauld Place, London, will now be our new headquarters. I have placed all the necessary enchantments on the building to avoid detection," Dumbledore says, looking to Sirius. "Thank you for allowing us to use it, Sirius."

"Wasn't going to get much use otherwise," he replies, shrugging.

Dumbledore continues on. "The Ministry remains in denial, though it is not surprising. We must continue to gather intelligence and be prepared for any move he makes."

"What about Harry, Dumbledore? Is he safe?" Molly Weasley asks, her face lined with worry.

"Harry is well-guarded at the Dursleys, but we must remain vigilant. His safety is paramount, and we cannot afford to let our guard down," Dumbledore answers.

You drum your fingers on the table. "Surely it would make the most sense to bring him here with us, right? It would be the easiest way to keep an eye on him."

Dumbledore glances at you, shaking his head. "Harry is to remain with his aunt and uncle until further notice. It's where he is safest."

"But — "

"I understand your concern, but you must trust me on this," Dumbledore says firmly, giving you strong look.

You sigh, relenting. Sirius's hand finds your knee under the table and starts to draw soothing circles on it.

The meeting continues, strategies discussed and plans laid out for the future. Molly and Arthur Weasley plan to move to headquarters for the remainder of the summer with their kids by the end of the week, and you welcome the prospect of more life in this soulless house.

Once the meeting has finally drawn to a close, you sit and chat with Remus and Tonks.

"How's he been?" Remus asks quietly, glancing at Sirius out of the corner of his eye. Sirius is busy in the far corner of the room, talking in hushed voices with Dumbledore. A look of frustration passes over his face, and you can see him struggling to maintain his composure.

"Better," you say softly. "It's nice to finally be living under the same roof again but...this place isn't good for him." You sigh. "And his mother is driving us nuts — constantly screaming and shrieking."

"There's nothing you can do about her portrait?" Tonks says.

You shake your head. "She put a permanent sticking charm on it...haven't been able to find a way to remedy it yet."

"How pleasant," Remus remarks dryly and you chuckle bleakly, nodding.

"Will you ever go back to being an Auror?" Tonks says curiously. "I'm sure Mad-Eye would take you on in an instant."

You look over at Sirius, watching his brows furrow as Dumbledore says something to him.

"I never could," you admit. "Not after running away. Not after acting like such a coward."

Remus says your name sternly. "You are not a coward."

You sink your teeth into the soft flesh of your inner cheek, shaking your head. "I am a coward in every right, Remus, it's just the truth of the matter. But...if I had to do it all over again, I'd make the same choices. Teaching at Hogwarts has given me so much."

You stand up from the table, pushing your chair in with a yawn. Your eyes meet Sirius's across the room as Dumbledore dismisses him with a wave of his hand, walking away from him.

He says your name and you look up. "Thank you for your hospitality, professor."

You smile warmly back at him. "Of course."

Later, as you sit on the edge of your bed (well, Sirius's bed, technically) and pull off your socks, Sirius paces the room angrily.

"He really expects me to just sit here and do nothing? All fucking summer, stay in this stupid house and twiddle my thumbs," he murmurs. "While you and everyone else are out doing something helpful, I'm — I'm what? Sweeping the floor after Snivellus leaves half his greasy head hair here — "

"I know, love, I know," you say, pulling your shirt over your head.

"And after all this, we're not going to get to see Harry until further notice? After all he's been through, all we can do is send letters to him? And we can't even write anything specific?" He runs a hand through his hair, hissing in frustration. "After all Harry's been through, really, making him stay with those horrible Dursleys..."

"What can we do about it?" You say in exasperation. "What Dumbledore says goes, and you know he has a reason for everything — "

"Then why doesn't he tell us the reason? He loves keeping secrets, doesn't he, old Dumbledore?"

You sigh. "He certainly likes to be a man of mystery."

Sirius clicks his tongue crossly, mumbling something inaudible under his breath as he comes to sit on the edge of the bed beside you.

You rub his arm soothingly, leaning your head against his. "It's not all bad. When the Weasleys come to stay, you'll get to meet the twins, Fred and George. Oh, you'll love them, Sirius — always pulling pranks and telling jokes, they're hilarious. They remind me of you and James sometimes."

This, at least, seems to lift his mood slightly, and he gives you a small smile. "Really? So someone's still giving Filch trouble?"

You nod, grinning. "They keep him on his toes, alright."

⁠✧⁠*⁠。✧⁠*⁠。

You find you really enjoy having the Weasleys at the house. Mrs Weasley's cooking is divine and you enjoy the chats the two of you have when you help her. You tell her all about James and Lily, telling her the best stories from your school years involving them. Fred and George apparate all over the house, enchanting things that don't need to be enchanted now that they can do magic at home. They've nearly given you about seven heart attacks from popping up randomly right behind you when you're busy. And you were completely right — Sirius loves them. He tells them about pranks that he used to pull with the boys at school, much to Mrs Weasley's disapproval.

"Don't put any ideas in their heads, Sirius!"

Ron and Hermione are here too, and it's odd seeing them without Harry for once. Harry writes you and Sirius letters, each time begging for more information about Voldemort and what's going on and when he can see you again. You sigh as you read the latest one, handing it to Sirius for him to read.

"I wish Dumbledore would just let him come here," you say. "He'll be much happier here with everyone."

Every Order meeting is serious. Snape gives his report on what's happening on Voldemort's side, and often makes snide comments about Sirius being forced to stay in the house and out of trouble. After every meeting, without fail, Sirius comes to you to vent his frustrations about the man.

"Severus," you say as another meeting wraps up and everyone starts to depart from the room. He turns to look at you, his expression cold.

"Yes?"

You motion for him to step away from the others, and he follows you to the corner of the room where you lower your voice.

"Wormtail. You have to tell me what he's up to — "

"I have told you all I know," Snape says flatly.

"There has to be something, anything...Severus, I know I'm asking a lot of you," you say genuinely, eyes flicking to Sirius across the room. "But if Wormtail goes somewhere alone or something, you have to tell me, please. He's the only one that can prove Sirius's innocence."

Snape's eye twitches slightly, his nostrils flaring. You can tell that sticking his back out to prove the innocence of his old enemy does not sound appealing to him.

"The Dark Lord will not ignore the disappearance of his servant. He will know there is a spy."

"Then a find a way to do it without him finding out!" You hiss desperately. "Please, Severus. I know you dislike each other but...Sirius will never have a life again if Peter isn't brought to justice."

Snape's jaw tenses, but after a few moments he gives you the smallest semblance of a nod. "If the opportunity arises...I will see it through."

You can't help the smile that spreads your lips and you nod gratefully. "Thank you. I'll be forever in your debt."

He sweeps wordlessly from the room, leaving a small spark of hope in your heart.

Your duties to the Order consists of tailing known Death Eaters and taking on guard duty over the prophecy just like everyone else. You and Tonks have been tailing a Death Eater by the name of Thorfinn Rowle, watching his movements and engagements closely. After one such night of tailing, the two of you return to Grimmauld Place, exhausted and soaked to the skin by the torrential rain you got caught in.

"Bloody hell..." Tonks murmurs, shaking out her jacket as you make your way past Walburga's portrait. It's late and the basement kitchen is empty, save for Sirius who has patiently waited for your return.

"You stayed up?" You say, kissing his cheek as you pass by to turn the kettle on.

"Of course I did."

Tonks looks between the two of you, an awkward look passing her face. "S'pose I'll get going."

You shake your head, grabbing her hand and sitting her down in one of the nearby chairs. "Nonsense, Tonks, stay. We haven't got the chance to catch up yet!"

You give Sirius a 'get out of here' look and he sighs, standing up from his chair. "So cruel."

You smile sweetly at him as he approaches. "I'll be up later."

He nods, yawning. "I know." He kisses you goodnight before leaving.

Once he's left, you give Tonks a sly look and she looks back at you in confusion as you sit down, sliding a cup of tea across the table to her.

"So, Tonks...are you gonna tell me what's going on between you and Remus?"

She nearly chokes on her drink, shaking her head vehemently. "What? Remus? Me? There's nothing going on."

You raise your eyebrows, unbelieving. "Sure..."

"I — I really don't know what you're implying," she says quickly, smiling awkwardly. "Really, Remus and I are just friends, I respect him as a colleague and a man — "

"I'm not going to snitch on you, y'know." You give her a smile. "That's why I had to get rid of Sirius — he'd tell Remus in an instant. Come on, it's pretty obvious to me. He likes you."

"What? No, come on, be serious," Tonks says. "I mean — we're not kids. He doesn't like me."

"Yeah he does!" You insist, giggling. "You two are cute, honestly. You should see the way he lights up when someone mentions you. He's got it bad."

Tonks' cheeks grow increasingly crimson as she continues to deny. "You're only having a bit of fun with me now."

"I'm not, honest!" You continue. "Seriously, Tonks, it's pretty obvious. I'm surprised you haven't noticed it yet."

She shakes her head, laughing and muttering something under her breath in denial.

"But the real question is...do you feel the same way about him?"

She doesn't answer you for a moment. "Well, like, it's Remus — he's great and he's a good person and I don't know, maybe?" She sighs, wringing her hands. "I...I think he's afraid to flirt with me. We could be laughing and joking one minute and then I'll say something further and he'll just...shut off."

You shake your head in disappointment. "I'm going to be very honest with you — that sounds exactly like him. Once you reciprocate he starts to freak out."

"But how do you know that's not just him being disinterested?"

"Because I know Remus," you answer simply. "He shuts himself away because he thinks being a werewolf renders him undateable. I think you just need to show him that you're not afraid of that side of him, that it doesn't bother you whatsoever, that you're there for him."

She nods thoughtfully. "Yeah, you're right..."

You beam, feeling excited. "Oh, it's been so long since I've played matchmaker! I forgot how good it feels."

Tonks laughs. "You've given this speech to other people before?"

You shrug. "Mostly just James and Lily, honestly. Lily hated the man for half her school years! You don't want to know the amount of work I put into getting them together."

⁠✧⁠*⁠。✧⁠*⁠。

->-> read chapter twenty-six here!

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[lex-hj0519]

what do you think we’d do, let them starve?

Just a little drabble based on this line in OOTP, cause it always makes me think, "well, that is pretty much what you did to Harry..."

“And as for who’s going to look after Ron and Ginny if you and Arthur died,” said Lupin, smiling slightly, “what do you think we’d do, let them starve?”

Mrs. Weasley smiled tremulously.

As Mrs. Weasley mopped her eyes and muttered that she was being silly, Lupin’s words washed over Harry.

“What do you think we’d do; let them starve?”

That’s what they did to him, Harry thought bitterly. They’d dropped him off on his aunt and uncle’s doorstep and left him there for ten years. Nobody had cared about the days and nights he spent in his cupboard with his stomach grumbling, hoping that he could sneak out to steal food from the kitchen after the Dursleys fell asleep.

A sharp feeling of hurt shot through him as Lupin continued to comfort Mrs. Weasley, and Harry abruptly turned on his heel and left the room. He climbed the stairs two-at-a-time, desperate to get away from the others before they noticed that something was wrong. He climbed the stairs until there were no more stairs to climb, ending up in the attic. It was cluttered with furniture, trunks, boxes, and other knick-knacks, but Harry found a clear spot and squished himself in between a battered steamer trunk and a side table that had legs carved to look like snakes.

He tucked his knees up, wrapped his arms around his legs, and buried his face in his knobby knees. He was not going to cry. He was not going to get upset. He was going to sit here and breathe until all of these stupid emotions stopped stirring around in his chest, and then he was going to go back downstairs with no one the wiser.

Off in the distance, he could hear another set of footsteps climbing the stairs. He waited for them to stop off at one of the floors, but they kept coming and coming until the attic door creaked open. Harry didn’t move. He didn’t even lift his head. Maybe if he stayed squished here in this spot, whoever it was wouldn’t notice.

“Mind if I join you?”

Harry didn’t want to see anyone. But of all the people who had come after him, he was glad it was his godfather. Harry shrugged awkwardly, still not looking up. Sirius picked his way through the clutter, pushed the steamer trunk aside, and sank down beside Harry so they were sitting shoulder to shoulder.

Sirius bumped his shoulder gently. “Are you all right, Harry? That boggart scared me, seeing your dead body laying there.”

Harry slowly raised his head to look at his godfather. Sirius looked even more pale and drawn than he usually did. Harry hadn’t even thought of how the boggart would have affected him.

“I’m all right,” Harry muttered.

Harry was grateful when Sirius didn’t push him to say more. They sat in a comfortable silence for a long while, with Harry slowly slumping and leaning into Sirius’s side. Sirius tucked one long, skinny arm around Harry’s back and pulled him closer into his side.

“If you want to talk about it, I’m happy to listen,” Sirius said gently.

“Talk about what?” Harry asked grumpily.

“About why you ran off like there was a Hungarian Horntail on your tail,” Sirius replied. “Was it just the boggart?”

“No,” Harry admitted after another long silence. “It was something else.”

“Thought so,” Sirius said. Harry wanted to roll his eyes at his godfather’s smug tone.

“It was what Lupin said after,” Harry said.

“What Remus said after?”

Harry tilted his head to look up at his godfather, who was looking down at him with a furrowed brow.

“Mrs. Weasley was worried about what would happen to Ron and Ginny if she and Mr. Weasley died. And Lupin said that they wouldn’t let them starve,” Harry repeated.

“And that upset you?” Sirius asked curiously.

Harry shrugged and looked down at his hands, twisting the edge of his t-shirt.

“It didn’t matter when it was me,” Harry mumbled after a long silence. “I – I was hungry all the time growing up. And nobody ever checked on me.”

Sirius swallowed hard and tucked Harry even closer into his side. Harry buried his face in his godfather’s shoulder to hide the tears that he could feel prickling in the back of his eyes.

“I used to sit in my cupboard and dream about someone coming to save me. But no one ever did. Not until Hagrid brought my Hogwarts letter. And even then, I still had to go back. I always have to go back.”

“Oh, Harry,” Sirius whispered into his hair. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you then. But I’m here for you now. And I’m not going to let you go back.”

Harry didn’t want to get his hopes up. He had before, and they had been torn away from him as fast as a hippogriff could fly. But as he sank into Sirius’s comforting embrace in the dusty old attic of Grimmauld Place, he so badly wanted to believe that this could be it: this could be the day that he was finally saved.

[their-love]

Collapse at the Order meeting

Wolfstar x Wolfstar!daughter

REQUEST: Sirius’ daughter collapses at an Order meeting. Uncle Moony and Sirius helps. Cut it off before R wakes. Please include short mention of Ron, Harry, Hermione, Weasley family, the order members + “Uncle Moony”, she/her pronouns

SHE/HER

A/N: Just my cup of tea. Hope this is okay.

Remus raised the reader as Sirius was in Azkaban. They are a happy little family once he got out and they talked.

“Night Sirius,” Remus said as he walked towards the door. The rest of the members of the Order of the Phoenix were still sitting around the table. Some seemed to be half asleep while the rest were caught up in small talk.

“Night Y/N,” Remus said, turning around to flash her a smile before leaving to his room upstairs. She smiled back at him but said nothing. Her mind was swirling as if caught in the wind.

“Night Moony!” Sirius yelled after his friend. In return, he received a small laughter as Remus closed his door. Her father turned around on his heels, heading to the kitchen. She followed him, wanting to ask a question.

“You hungry?” he asked her, rummaging through the fridge. He dumped a few sandwich options on the countertop, waving his wand summoning the bread in the cupboard to his right.

“Not really. I have a question…” she answered, trailing off at the end. The wind feeling turned into a full blown storm, knocking her out of balance. Sirius was so caught up in making a sandwich that he hardly heard what she had answered.

A thud caught his attention though. He spun around, looking at his daughter who was leaning against the doorframe. His let his eyes wander over her body. Trembling, pale and unsteady.

“Hey, you alright?” he asked, moving towards her without waiting for a reply. A gently arm around her waist and he helped her towards a chair by the table that Tonks had offered. Being the only one that had noticed the sudden change, she looked worried at her two friends. Her feet dragged over the hardwood floor, not cooperating with her. Once she was seated, Sirius sat down on his knees in front of her. His eyes were trying to lock with hers, but they were too unfocused. That worried him even more.

“Look at me, Y/N. Hey, come on. Talk to me,” he said. A gentle hand pulled her chin up, so she faced him. Slowly he began to brush his fingers over the top of her hand in a reassuring way. Grey lazy eyes stared back at him for a second before going unfocused again. Panicked, Sirius ran a hand through his long black hair. With a wave of her wand, Tonks conjured a glass of water, handing it to Sirius.

“Drink,” he ordered. No reaction. Her body swayed in the chair, eventually leaning against the shoulder of her father. He put the glass down on the table and began to rub her back.

“It’s alright, darling. It’s alright… - Do you want me to get uncle Moony?” he whispered in her ear. No reaction. He stopped moving his hand, leaving it on the top part of her back, waiting to feel her breathing. It was shallow and uneven. Shit, he thought.

Without a warning all of her body weight was once more shifted onto Sirius. He held her in his arms, gently lowering her to the floor. One hand holding her head and the other supporting her waist. Nymphadora let out a small scream, which caught the attention of everyone around the table.

“REMUS!” Sirius yelled in panic as he saw her eyes roll back into her head. Molly Weasley was on her feet in seconds, hovering above them with confusion and worry etched on her face.

A few seconds later a door upstairs were flung open and the sound of footsteps running down the stairs was the only sound to be heard. Everyone else had stopped talking, following the commotion at the end of the room with caution.

“What? What?” Remus asked frantically as he ran into the room, wand up ready to fight. Upon seeing his best friend and his daughter on the ground he lowered his wand and jumped the few steps in between the door and them.

“She just collapsed…” Sirius mumbled, trying his best to force the tears back. Remus completely ignored the other people in the room and focused all of his attention on the unconscious girl on the floor. She was like a daughter to him. He would do anything to keep her safe. Not in a million years had he thought of her being injured at home. His fear was seeing her hurt in the middle of a battle.

“What’s going on?” Ron cried out at the end of the table. Next to him sat two very concerned children, Harry and Hermione. The golden trio were told to stay seated by Molly, who tried her best to give Y/N, Remus and Sirius enough space. The rest of the people in the room was Mad-Eye Moody, the rest of the Weasley family, Albus Dumbledore and Auror Kingsley. All looked at the scene unfold.

“Right, I think it’s best to give them some space,” said Arthur Weasley suddenly. Everyone’s eyes were on the Black’s and Lupin. Arthur wanted to give them more space than Molly, he wanted to give her some privacy once she woke up. Everyone slowly got up, following Arthur upstairs. No one wanted to leave before knowing if the young Black was alright. Molly gave her husband an appreciative look before he left.

Tonks outright refused to leave and so did Molly. They stayed back enough to let Remus kneel next to Y/N on the opposite side of Sirius.

“Love? Can you hear me?” he asked rather loudly. No response. Having read countless of books, including medical and healing books, Remus went on autopilot. At first, he gently rubbed her sternum to wake her. As that did nothing, he called her name again, rubbing harder.

“There we go! Come on, sweetheart. Open your eyes,” he coached as he saw her hands turn into fists. Remus very well knew that what he was doing was hurting her, but it was the best way to wake her up. After being Moony, his werewolf self, he would occasionally fall unconscious, scaring the living daylight out of his mates. They used to do the same after reading it in a book similar to the ones he had read.

She groaned and pulled her hands up to stop Remus from hurting her further. She held onto the sleeves of his oversized, shaggy sweater.

[remusluvr]

heart to heart | james potter

summary: James is your safe haven, he accepts you with open arms. content: secret relationship, brief talk of death (like one sentence), unedited

Time had frozen when you were told. This was the one thing you had been trying to avoid for as long as possible. It's unavoidable now.

"It's time you step up and do something for once," your mother berated, "There's a meeting in an hour. You will be expected to make your decision then. Do not embarrass me."

Fear flowed through your veins after she left the room. There was only one way out of this messy situation - your bedroom window. And so, knowing exactly who to go to, you quickly packed a bag and left. You ran as far as you could before apparating to Diagon Alley where you would be able to find a floo transport to get to your destination.

Your fist pounded against the old door as you looked behind you as each second ticked along. What if they knew where you were going? What if it was a trap to see what you would do? What if they are after you? Raising your fist to knock again, the door opens to a confused James Potter.

"Jamie," you sighed, tears welling in your eyes now as you push yourself into his arms. You can feel his beating heart as he pulls you into his house. He kept you held to his chest as you calmed your breathing. You were safe.

"Can you tell me what happened, sweetheart?" he asked, taking extra attention to make sure his voice was calm. He didn't want to scare you. Sirius came trotting down the stairs, watching the interaction between you and the other Gryffindor boy.

"What the fuck? When did this start?" is all he says as he stops at the end of the staircase. James waves him off, turning his attention back to you. His eyes held so much love that you just wish you'd never have to interrupt your staring with such a heavy topic.

"They tried to make me become a death eater," you sniffled, lip wobbling. He pulled you back into his chest, holding you tight against him. Sirius gasped, excusing himself. He can get whatever answers he's looking for later. Right now you clearly need James to yourself. "I can't go back there, Jamie. I can't."

"You won't, baby. I'm not going to let you."

Your heart is racing when you pull away, wiping at your tear-stained cheeks. He doesn't let you go far, keeping your hand in his. When his mom comes into the room, you straighten up and quiet down.

"I know Sirius is listening at the top of the stairs. He can show you my room, let me talk with my mom." You hear Sirius grunt and can't help but giggle, hugging James one last time before grabbing your bag and heading upstairs. You and Sirius have never gotten along, not when you have been living very precariously, trying not to anger your family. He went the different route, going out of his way to anger them.

He gives you a half-hearted smile when you reach him and you want to apologize for all the mean remarks you spit his way. You both understand though, you were in the same situation.

When James returns to his room, around thirty minutes later, he crashes down on the bed beside you, kicking Sirius out. He had stayed to keep you company, still a little too nervous to be left alone.

"I'm sorry for barging in. I just had nowhere else to go."

"Please don't apologize, I'm glad you're here. You know that I worry when you're home. Now, I don't have to worry."

"Yeah, until we're back in school and all of my housemates want me dead." He frowns at that. James is always optimistic but he knows that you're right. They're not going to take your denouncement of Voldemort well and there will be consequences but he promises to never leave your side and that you can sleep in his dorm all you want if that's what it takes.

His kindness makes your heart ache and at the news of you being allowed to stay here, it only aches more for his family. Why couldn't your own family be this way?

"Only thing is that you have to sleep in one of the guest rooms," he sighs, rolling his eyes. You giggle as he pulls you to lay with him. "Good thing we can be sneaky."

[enviedear]

save the date ⟶ james potter

DESCRIPTION ⌙ after an innocent suggestion that james potter is horrible at relationships, he feels inclined to prove you wrong. PAIRING ⌙ james x fem!reader CW ⌙ mention of food, eating food, petnames WORD COUNT ⌙ 2.3k

❛ ֪ ׂ shenanigans? is that what you call your love life? ֪ ׂ ❜

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for the second time this month, you’re spending your friday evening trying to drone out an argument. hilariously large and bulky headphones sit upon your ears— and yet you can still make out the aggravatingly grating noise.

if you’d known being james’ roommate would have entailed you hearing multiple fights from different girlfriends, you may not have signed the lease.

may not have— because a rent controlled apartment in the city is far too good to pass by.

truthfully, you felt a little bit bad for james. he was so good at picking gorgeous, captivating women. you could never fault his taste, no, you faulted his ability to be a boyfriend.

take this instance, a disagreement that started over dinner plans, only to devolve into a full blown argument. over what currently? you’re not exactly sure. but by the way the woman was yelling at him, you were sure he had said something stupid.

seconds later you can hear her huff, slam his door, walk down the stairs, and leave the apartment.

slowly, you remove your headphones, the noise of your music now being the only thing you can hear. you wait, looking expectantly at your door.

almost on some cue, james opens your door with a counterfeit smile on his face, “any plans tonight?”

you roll your eyes at him, “let me guess? non refundable dinner reservation and two tickets to the movies.”

he walks into your room, plopping down on your bean bag chair, “act nice or i’ll take sirius instead.”

you ignore him, “be honest, what did you do this time?”

“absolutely nothing.” he grumbles, shaking his head.

you didn’t believe him for a second. you’ve known james for four years now and you’ve lived with him for two. you knew in your soul that he, despite trying, always managed to do something.

he had a strange ineptitude for romance. it was as though he couldn't make it a week before his stupidity turned from endearing to unbearable.

he sighs, "she kept asking me if i had anything planned for our date— and i didn't want to ruin the surprise, so i just kept saying no. 'no, honey, i figure we'd wing it.' fuck— i didn't think it would blow up like that."

you gape at him, "but you did tell her, right?"

he shrugs, "by the time i thought to she was already leaving."

this was james, unable to keep a relationship purely because of his own doing.

"you're going to end up alone." you chuckle, fiddling with your phone to turn off your music.

james is silent, so you go on, "i'm saying this from a place of love, but you're horrible at relationships. almost criminally bad at them." your finger points at him, mocking.

he glares at you, tousled curls falling into his eyes, "i am not."

you grin, "yes— you are."

he ignores you, plopping down onto your bean bag, "and still i get more dates than you," he pauses, muttering out, "brat."

"you do not!" you don't mean to, but your voice comes out childishly.

james finally rids himself of his frown, smirking, "fuck's sake, calm down." it takes everything in you to not pelt him with whatever's near you. he has such a chuck-worthy grin.

it was often that the two of you would have these petty disagreements. mostly due to the close proximity of sharing the same space, but sometimes, you honestly didn't understand why both of you were so worked up.

you get off of your bed and squat down to his level, "i'm so close to throwing you out."

he smiles, and lazily pulls you down with him, "i didn't mean it, don't be mad."

you narrow your eyes, despite the grin on your face, "you're temperamental, potter."

he chuckles, eyes now closed, "and you're wrong."

you hum, arm touching his, "about what?"

he looks at you, "'bout me. that i'm bad at relationships."

you almost laugh at him, because if there was one thing you knew as fact— it was that james had a ninety-nine percent fail rate.

so you're easily coy when you speak, "oh, then please, prove me wrong."

your tone is playful, but james' eyes make you pause. he looks eerily\ honestly, determined.

"with pleasure." he says simply.

you don't say anything after. not for a few moments. you try instead to ignore the strange tightness in your chest at his words. wordlessly, you rise from beside him and open up your closet door.

"what time is this reservation?" you ask, subtitling watching his face brighten.

james smiles, "you'll come?"

you shrug, "i'll never turn down money spent well."

he laughs, "and you think my funds are best spent on you?"

there's a mischievous glint in your voice, "aren't i always the best cause."

he feigns annoyance at you, but goes to leave your room so that you can change. as you watch him go, and note the way his dress shirt hugs the curves of his toned back. often, you’d catch yourself admiring him. it was silly, but despite your usual chagrin of him and his antics, you found him so beautiful.

you’re barely concentating on the clothes he's wearing now, thinking instead to the half-awake version of him from last night, wearing only his plaid boxers and leaning against the fridge, a glass of water in his hand, eyes half-lidded.

and then, the james you so often see after a shower. his face flushed, hair tousled, and towel always riding just low enough.

of course, you noticed him and you tried not to lie to yourself about it. you found him attractive, sure, but that was all. you knew there was nothing else there, and you’d be an idiot if you let your mind even think there was.

putting your fascination with him to the side, you scour your closet for something presentable. reaching the back of your closet before finding anything, a flowy little number you had apparently hidden from yourself for god knows how long. you inspect it, and slip it on once you decide that the small wrinkles at the bottom of the skirt are inconsequential.

you do your makeup in the bathroom, james butting in often to try and hurry you along, "how many coats of mascara more? can we please leave?"

you shush him each time until you're finally ready, "there— see? that didn't take so long did it?"

he rolls his eyes, "felt like bloody years."

you chuckle, opening the door for him, "i don't even think i reached an hour, you brat."

he jingles his keys in your face, his assortment of keychains slapping against each other, "play nice."

it's safe to say you do not 'play nice' for the entire duration of the car ride. you take immediate ownership of the radio instead, queuing all your favorite songs. james protests for five or so minutes before shaking his head with you and singing along.

the restaurant he's chosen is a suedo-modern fusion steakhouse— horribly expensive— and you can't help but feel a little out of place as you step inside. james, however, seems right at home. he greets the hostess by name and leads you to a private booth in the back.

as you sit down, you eye him, "what?" he asks, sipping his water.

"how often do you come here. i mean, they seem to know you." you're smirking, finding it quite funny.

james shrunches his face, "no, actually, my parents have insisted on eating here for my past six birthdays."

you hum, "i forget mommy and daddy are wealthy, you should really advertise it more. as an incentive." you're kidding of course, james reeked of rich kid. in the nicest way.

he gestures at you with his butterknife, "you think i haven't pulled that? c'mon honey i'm not completely daft."

you chuckle, taking a sip of your own water. watching as james continues, dwelling into a story about work. you've already heard it but you'd feel wretched to tell him. so, you listen, watching his brown eyes and strong use of his hands with each adjective used.

you've almost blocked everything but him from your sense when the waiter returns, placing down an appetizer you're sure the two of you didn't order.

you look to james, who's in the middle of placing his order. he sends you a wink.

you fumble through your own order, cursing yourself for not looking at the menu more thoroughly.

"do you even know what that is?" james asks when the waiter walks away.

you roll your eyes, "yes james, i'm well aware of the french word for fish."

he shrugs, "can't hurt to make sure." there's a pause, "d'ya like the wontons?"

your face morphs into a smile, "you ordered this?"

"yeah when i made the reservation, don't feel too special." he's got a shit-eating grin on his face, freckles more prominent in the overhead light.

you tease, "i'll remember this next time you're in need of my assistance."

he leans back, feigning innocence, "hey, i'm just trying to create a memorable dining experience."

the conversation continues to flow, easy and familiar. it doesn't surprise you, how comfortable you are with james, even when he's being his usual cheeky self. the food arrives, and you both enjoy the meal, trading bites and sharing stories. it's one of those moments when you forget about the world outside and just relish in the company of a friend.

as dessert arrives, james leans in a bit closer, his tone shifting to something more serious. "you know, i appreciate you putting up with my shenanigans. not just tonight, but all the time."

you raise an eyebrow, a playful grin on your face, "shenanigans? is that what you call your love life?"

he chuckles, but his gaze is sincere, "yeah, that and everything else. you've been there for me, and i don't say it enough, but i'm really grateful."

you feel a warmth in your chest at his words, and for a moment, the playful banter fades away. "you're not so bad yourself, potter."

he smiles, a genuine one this time, "i'd hope so."

an hour passes by, and you're both lost in conversation when you realize the restaurant is beginning to close up. with a sigh, you both gather your things and leave. the night air is cool as you step outside, and you find yourselves walking down the quiet streets back to his car.

as you stroll, james looks over at you, his expression soft, "you know, i might not be great at relationships, but i've always liked what we have. you're more than just a roommate to me, you're like my confidant, my partner-in-crime, and my closest friend."

you feel a flush of emotion at his words, a mix of happiness and something you can't quite put your finger on. "you too, potter. just don't let it get to your head."

he grins, slipping his hands into his pockets, "wouldn't dream of it."

the two of you continue your leisurely walk, the city lights casting a warm glow around you. it's a somewhat quiet night, but the silence is comfortable, the kind that comes from years of shared experiences and unspoken understanding.

as you approach the car, james stops and turns to you, his gaze searching yours, "you know, i might be awful at relationships, but there's one thing i'm certain of."

you raise an eyebrow, curious, "and what's that?"

he opens his car door, soft smirk on his face, "i'm pretty sure i've already found the best thing in my life."

your heart skips a beat, but your eyes roll, "smooth, potter. really laying it on thick."

he chuckles, a hint of nervousness in his eyes, "i mean it, though." he proceedes to give a light shrug before getting into the car.

you chuckle and follow him, "you're insufferable."

he smiles, turning to head to you, "you can say whatever you want, but you know deep down you love me."

you slide into the passenger seat and playfully roll your eyes, "maybe i just have a high tolerance for insufferable people."

james starts the car, and as he pulls away from the curb, he glances at you with a mischievous glint in his eyes, "ah, so you're admitting it now, are you?"

you laugh, shaking your head, "i said high tolerance, not undying affection."

he grins, focusing on the road, "well, that's progress, i suppose."

the drive back to your apartment is filled with lighthearted banter and comfortable silences. when you finally arrive, you both step out of the car and make your way to the entrance.

as you approach your apartment door, james turns to you, a playful grin on his face, "you know, i have another surprise for you."

you raise an eyebrow, curious, "oh really? and what might that be?"

he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small box, presenting it to you with a flourish, "ta-da! a box of chocolate-covered strawberries, your favorite."

you take the box with a surprised smile, "well, well, james potter, you're really pulling out all the stops tonight."

he chuckles, "just trying to prove that i'm not a lost cause in all things romantic."

you open the box and take a strawberry, popping it into your mouth with a satisfied hum, "i have to admit, this is a step in the right direction."

james grins, looking almost proud of himself, "i'll take what i can get."

you both head inside, and as you settle back into your apartment, you can't help but reflect on the evening. despite his usual antics and relationship mishaps, there's a side of james that you've come to appreciate more and more—a side that values your friendship and makes an effort to show it.

as the night winds down and you both prepare for bed, you find yourself sitting on your respective beds, sharing a comfortable silence. you glance over at james, who's focused on scrolling through his phone, and you can't help but feel a sense of contentment.

"hey, potter," you speak up, breaking the silence.

he looks up, raising an eyebrow, "yes, my dear roommate?"

you smirk, "you know, you might be onto something with this whole 'proving me wrong' thing."

he grins, setting his phone aside, "oh, am i winning you over, then?"

you shake your head, a teasing glint in your eyes, "let's not get ahead of ourselves. but maybe, just maybe, you're not as hopeless as i thought."

james leans back, looking satisfied, "i'll take that as a victory."

you both exchange smiles, and in that moment, you're reminded of why you agreed to be james potter's roommate in the first place. despite his esoteric personality, he's genuine and loyal, and always there to bring a smile to your face—even if it's through exasperation.

with a smirk you get up, making your way upstairs before calling out, "I'm free this Sunday, might as well give you a second date."

[vinylfoxbooks]

August 29 - Theatre  | @into-the-jeggyverse | wc: 766

“Where’s James?” Pete asks, sitting down at the table.

Sirius shrugs, “Apparently they had to stay behind tonight, something to do with their whole theatre thing.” 

Remus hums, “I thought Regulus said that rehearsal wasn’t running long today, the director had to leave earlier than usual.” 

“Dunno. Do we want to go find them?” Sirius shrugs again, “I think Regulus was saying that the director keeps the door to the auditorium and to the outside open when they’re doing rehearsal in case anyone needs to run in and out. We can go through there and give them a visit.” The other two agree and they stand up, heading out of the cafe after ordering themselves and James something to drink -- Sirius also gets something for Regulus since he’s also in that direction and they head off. It’s not a long walk back to the school, the cafe that the four meet at every week just being a couple blocks from it so they’re at the school quickly and have to walk around to the back where the door near the auditorium is, unfortunately, closed. But Sirius is quick to bang on the door -- having been here several times to visit and pick up Regulus -- before Lily is coming out of the nearby classroom and letting them in. 

“What are you guys doing here?” Lily asks, a pencil tucked behind her ear. 

“Came to pick up James and Regulus.” Sirius gives her a charming smile, “What’re you doing, Evans?”

“Props design in the classroom. Just finished talking with director about it, now I’ve gotta put all the ideas on paper and figure it out from there. You were looking for Reg and James? I think they’re downstairs with costumes.” She jerks her chin in the direction of the door that leads to the basement where all the costumes and changing room are. Sirius thanks her and they head in that direction, hands getting incredibly cold from the drinks that he’s holding for himself and James.

When they get down the stairs, they can hear Regulus and James’ voices in another room further down the hallway. And Sirius starts sneaking towards it, intending to scare the two of them. However, as he approaches the door, he stops short when he finally sees the two in the room. James has a couple dresses draped over their arm but they’re standing chest to chest with Regulus, arms wrapped around each other. 

“Oh yeah?” James asks, a small tilt of a smile on their face, “You think that Kingsley could take you from me?”

“I mean, he is playing the love interest.” Regulus shrugs, a small smile on his own face, “I think that he could sweep me off my feet.”

James chuckles, “We both know that casting romances are bad ideas. Don’t you remember what happened between Emmeline and Amelia.” 

Regulus snorts, “That was a mess.” “As you would be with Kingsley. Plus, you like me too much.” ANd with that, James sweeps down to kiss Regulus. 

It’s relatively short and, when they pull away, Regulus rolls his eyes, “You’re lucky that I do. I don’t know how I put up with you.”

“Not the first time that I’ve heard that.”

“Okay, what the fuck.” Sirius says, bursting into the room and watching the two of them break apart suddenly, “What’s happening here?”

“Surprise.” James hums, doing sad little jazz hands, “We’re dating.”

“And that’s why you’ve been hanging back longer than you need to here?” Sirius asks, walking forward and outreaching the hand holding James’ drink, “You could’ve just told me.”

“In my defense,” James smiles, taking it, “We’ve been actually working on costumes, you just caught us at a bad time.”

Regulus nods, taking his own drink from Remus with a small ‘thank you’ and taking a sip before he clears his throat, “Speaking of which, we should probably finish up here soon. Director had already left and Lily was waiting for Mary, who I imagine is here by now.” James nods and the two of them set to work with closing everything up while their friends -- and family for Regulus and SIrius -- stand at the end of the creepy hallway and wait before they’re shouldering their bags and turning off the lights, guiding their friends back upstairs. 

“Did we want to go to the cafe or?” James asks, “I know that you guys were already there.”

“Yeah, we can head back.” Sirius nods, “I don’t really feel like going back home right now.” The group agrees and they head out after saying goodbye to Lily and Mary.