#If I’m being real the main reason I don’t get that into Norse myth and legend is because I live in america

[noctilionoidea]

I’m really mixed on this…

I felt like trying to do something Norse myth related so I decided to draw Freyja since goddesses associated with love and beauty are usually the easiest for me to draw. For the most part I really like it but there’s two main issues I have with it. For one, she looks like she’s sliding off Hildisvíni, which could work but wasn’t my intent and I should have drawn the boar lower. Secondly, and I think this is the most noticeable, my attempt to pull from the historical medieval period in Scandinavia (with some clear liberties such as hairstyle, etc.) means that to the average person, it doesn’t read as “Viking” age. Whoops. I still really like the design though.

[hajime-isayama-official]

One main arguments I’ve seen from non Jewish and poc snk Stan’s and that will have that one token Jewish person or friend who says they are not offended and snk isn’t anti Semitic or Nazi propaganda. Or say well isayama isn’t a anti Korean racist or Japanese imperialist that’s all been proven fake blah blah blah. Even if it’s fake the series is still problematic stop using that one Jewish person who isn’t offended they don’t speak for all Jewish people obviously-part 1

Part 2 he also named miksasa after a imperial Japanese battle ship and dot pixels is based off of a Nazi Japanese imperialist I think? Same for Erwin I might be wrong that’s what I looked up. I’m personally not comfortable supporting the series anymore for valid reasons but it’s honestly so hard to find blogs like you who criticize the series and author I’ve only found a small amount of blogs who acknowledge the problematic aspects in both manga and anime unfortunately :(

Oh Anon, you get me going here.

Yes, Mikasa is named after a very successful battleship (it’s supposedly certain success if your manga has a character named after a battleship). 

Pixis was inspired by a Japanese imperial general. He died before WW2 tho. Anyway that sparked huge controversy with the Japanese fans, leading to hate messages towards Yams for years. 

German SNK Wiki claims Erwin was inspired by Erwin Rommel, a general in WW1 and WW2 who later turned against Hitler (it’s fine cause he wasn’t REALLY a Nazi, right? no.). Erwin’s Birthday is the death day of Erwin Rommel. However, since I can’t find a source I’d take that one with a grain of salt. The main Inspiration for Erwin as a character is Ozymandias from Watchmen. So only fictional mass murder for Erwin here lol

These points are already kinda icky, but can be ignored I guess. Of course SNK searches inspiration in military. It’s a series about literal Child Soldiers (which somehow is never a critic point on any anime/manga?!). However it’s also full of dogwhistles and even more uncomfortable references. 

My main points are the portrayal of grey-morality on the case of genocide and the way Isayama clearly draws inspiration from Nazi Germany when he portrays Marley. The latter is not per say problematic. Fullmetal Alchemist is also inspired by The Third Reich and carries a strong anti-imperalist and anti-nazi message. SNK however falls short on that till now. I am not Jewish myself, so I can obviously not determine what is antisemitic and only point out the obvious. Plus my knowledge of things is obviously limited so feel free to correct or join in. 

Isayama pretty much paints the Eldians as the Jews of this “mirror world” World War we witness since the time skip. This is clear by the imagery of the Ghettos he shows, the armbands the Eldians have to wear and much more (Short images search should do the job here). The coding of the Eldians as Jewish equivalent is complete with the Marleyan myth of Eldians ruling the world if no one does anything to hold them in control (aka every antisemitic conspiracy ever). But it doesn’t end there. We know from the manga that Paradis island is basically Madagaskar. 

The Nazis planned to deport about 4 million Polish Jews to Madagaskar in the 1940′s. That plan was shortlived and obviously never put into action for various reasons. So in SNK we have the scenario that the Eldians fled to Paradis in order to get an advantage over the Marleyans. The Eldians who are not on Paradis live in Ghettos on the mainland. That’s a weird coincidence, considering how many islands our big blue planet has. 

What I think is pretty bizarre is that Isayama distorts this by pairing this imo pretty obvious real live inspiration with references to Norse mythology. This is fucked up in so far that Norse mythology is so heavily appropriated by the Nazis that many runes are outlawed in Germany till today and showing interest in Norse mythology is still often associated with white supremacy (have a look at Neo-Nazi signs and see the pattern). Like, this combination of Norse and early 20th century German imagery isn’t even a dogwhistle anymore, it’s yelling “I SUCK NAZI DICK AND I LIKE IT”.  The references he uses are  especially Ymir and the paths, that can then be seen as the world tree Yggdrasil:

The tree connects the Eldians and the nine titans which share their number with the nine realms that Yggdrasil holds. There’s some more, tiny stuff, like Erwin being easily interpreted as a reference to the God Tyr (God of battle, who loses his right arm in the mouth of a beast) and Hanji to the God Odin (Losing an eye in a well in the pursuit of gaining knowledge and wisdom). Both of these Gods are probably the most appropriated by white supremacists. When Ymir first turns into a titan it is at castle Utgard. In Norse mythology Utgard is a place in Jotunheim, the realm of the Jotun who the giant Ymir is the first ancestor of.

In general the pairing of clear WW2 imagery and references to Norse mythology is a mixture that is VERY sketchy and should always make you suspicious. Especially since these two are not going together (as in Marley using references to Norse mythology), but against each other. So we have both sides (Marley and Eldia) associated with white supremacy. Another thing that I will never be over is that Zeke and Eren are obviously named in reference to the German words Sieg und Ehre (Victory and Honor) referencing white supremacist buzzwords. 

Then we have the issue that the main conflict is not with the Marley people, who are basically our mirrorworld Nazis. The conflict is AMONG the Eldians. Liberating the Eldians form the Marleyans is not even a thing, because we’re busy keeping two Eldians from practicing genocide/euthanasia on their own kind. So in this aspect Eldians are painted basically just as bad as Marleyans (and we have that “everyone is wrong in a war” Issue again). 

I think in the end Eren’s will to kill everyone will lead to Eldians and Marley people accepting their differences or whatever and leading to unision in the shared enemy (kind of already happens in the manga) and while I think that’s a possibly interesting way to go it’s imo not when one of those parties has been subjected to centuries of genocide by the other. Assistant says a good closure to the Norse Mythology theme would be the manga going for Ragnarök, so everyone, Marleyan and Eldian, dies, except for two people who start the world anew. After all anisemitism or in this case anti-eldian sentiment doesn’t just stop after a world war. I don’t really fuck with this bullshit we got in one of the recent chapters where this one Marley general was like “Oh no, they were only people after all”. Bro, your whole society is built on them not being people and all of that is gone in one day of crisis? *doubt.png* 

There’s obviously more to it than that and especially my understanding of the manga might be a bit off, since I don’t read it as attentively as I used to anymore. At this point I’m so fucking suspicious of this manga tbh. I doubt that we can come out of this with an anti-imperialist or anti-fascist message. 

This does of course not mean no one should read or watch the manga or anime. I read/watch it too as you see. But it’s always good to be critical of the media you consume and take concerns from others serious, when it comes to stuff like this. 

[metvmorqhoses]

i kinda accept as canon that you watch loki (you do, right?) and i sure as hell want to know what you think it's gonna happen tomorrow in the finale! if i'm mistaken sorry i bothered lol

of course i watch loki, dear anon :) you are absolutely not mistaken. he used to be my favorite marvel character (along with hela), until the characterization kinda took a caricaturing path to the point the most interesting villain of that universe kinda turned into a  (very darling tbh) kind of clown with glorious purposes - which is loosely the thing we are witnessing now in the series, aren't we?

it pains me because every single time (and not only with marvel and disney), when having to deal with really complex, groundbreaking personalities, the choice of literally every single production is to mask abysmality and revolution with buffoonery - loki, lucifer, sabrina's lucifer, the list goes on and on. these characters, impossible to label, literally transuding potential, depth, beauty, horror, chaos, are reduced to comforting domesticity for the sake of a predefined general sense of fake "decency". and this never ceases to let me down, no matter if i understand the safe, commercial kind of reasoning behind it.

that's the reason why i wasn't expecting much out of this series, because loki's character is too much to be possibly dealt with in a serious way on nowadays television. defined genders, sexuality and morals mean nothing to him. he is in wild revolt against every possible society construct. in norse mythology, loki is a male god who turned into a mare to be impregnated by a divine stallion, giving birth to odin's mythical eight-legged horse. he literally fathered the three main beings responsible for ragnarok (the doomsday of the gods and everything along with them) and he himself starts the end of all things, because he's the literal representation of chaos. he is the very embodiment of shock, and of course no one is willing to take the moral responsibility to actually be true to him in a serious way, a way that would probably result alarming to most and therefore problematic to producers.

that's the reason why i was riveted and surprised when, seeing the other loki was a female version of him, i immediately understood the most interesting soulmates/narcissistic/revolutionary implication such a relationship had the potential to develop and dared to hope they would explore it in a worthy way - a confrontational, sarcastic, toxic, obsessive, madly passionate, mirroring, lannister-like kind of love, that would have taken loki to another narrative level.

but it's marvel, and the price we had to pay for an actually very fitting and interesting idea is that it has to be developed in a children book kind of way, or we cannot possibly get away with it. don't get me wrong, they built this pair in a very cute manner, very gentle, very reassuring and undaring, a kitten instead of a beast... but this obviously made it all very, very lukewarm and very close to feeling ooc. once again, while telling a story focusing on a villain, we are de-villanizing him for the sake of making him easier to relate with and more hero-like. writers have to understand a villain can still be relatable and valid even without decharacterizing them. and, as much as this teen-like kind of young romance might feel darling and refreshing, it screams cowardice from every single angle. they threw the stone and hid the hand, as poets say. loki is falling in love with himself, finally allowing himself to see who he is in a genuine and not faked grand, truly loving way, but his perfect female version doesn't look like him in pretty much anything (blonde, cold, unironic, doesn't even want to be called loki), so it almost feels like he likes her because she doesn't look like him at all or because it's in the script. "she's different", he says. it would have been very very interesting if she was "different" while being so him it hurt, but this? we are told sylvie is a variant of loki, but this is literally the only thing that really connects her to him. i would dare to say that an actual ic loki would have never even liked her.

marvel obviously did it on purpose, to minimize the possibilities of having the general audience screaming incest, abuse or utter disgust (thing that is happening nevertheless), but they did it sacrificing a really wildly interesting trope they should have properly developed (not to mention that i fear tomorrow we are gonna be told sylvie was never a loki in the first place, so everyone would be "safe" to ship them).

apparently, everybody likes very much to think themselves "woke", while we actually live in a society of bigots who cannot tolerate even the mere sight of a fictional demi-god falling for his female counterpart (which, funnily enough, is literally the very thing told in that plato's myth of soulmates that everyone loves so much to post on facebook).

now, why did i make this endless preamble to answer your question, my dear friend? simply because i found myself literally unable to predict an ending marvel would find morally acceptable. the totality of everything i might imagine or would actually like to see happening is probably never gonna happen at all, deepening my utter disappointment lol

during the whole series, i was really hoping sylvie wasn't the real "lady loki" and that loki's true mate was still hidden and the actual super-villain of the series (that boy pointing to the devil on the church glass in episode one, is it possible that he perceived sylvie that terribly? it makes no sense to me). but it's very unlikely right now.

what i do truly hope is that they didn't make the "man behind the curtain" kang, or immortus or any other "new villain" of any sort, because i'd really like at least to see a twist providing closure and a full-circle kind of plot - especially one true to the themes of the series.

on my part, i would have probably made the super villain loki - not another variant loki, mind you, but our loki, yet a version of the future of him, that for some reason resolved to create the tva in the future thinking it was necessary and therefore having to betray sylvie, while our loki has not yet betrayed her and is confronted with this terrible reality he doesn't understand because he isn't yet that person and possibly deciding to defeat himself in order to stay true to sylvie and bring down the tva (this thing can work even in reverse, with a sylvie from the future being the super villain, but i think it would be more satisfying to have it with loki). i also would love to have them merge for some "word-saving" reason, creating a finally complete new loki.

i'm positive none of this is going to happen anyway, but a girl can hope. what do you think?

[carinyms]

We're three days from the Loki finale and I’m back to spout more meta and theories about episodes 5 & 6! It’s a long one (again.)

I really enjoyed episode five. People have complained that they felt it didn't do much to move the show forward, but one of the things I've loved most about this show is the time it takes to sit with the characters and learn about their backstory, their feelings. (I'm always a little bugged when critics say that an episode hasn't done enough to move the plot forward, because without adequate character development, why should I care about the plot?) I thought the pacing of it was really well balanced.

….and I have never been so nervous for a finale in my entire life. There’s a lot of reasons.

The first is just the fact that I’ve been waiting for this show for a whole year, and the anticipation and excitement of it literally helped get me through the pandemic--so when those final end credits roll I’m going to be a whole mess no matter what happens. (I really hope the rumors floating around about season two are accurate) I also just feel like it’s somewhat inevitable that this is our final farewell to Tom’s Loki, and like—I’ll never be ready, but especially right now, amidst all the rampant controversy around this show, I’m just not ready to deal with that. I have a *small* modicum of hope that this won't be the case, but it feels unlikely. Anyway, guess I’ll die.

I really want this show to stick the landing, so to say. I loved the last episode, but a lot of the response has been that it felt like a lull in the plot. I want this show to end in a satisfying bang so it can get the credit it deserves.

Also I’m a whole hypocrite eating my words from last week—I’m fully on-board with Loki/Sylvie now (not that I was ever really against it)--I’m not sure why I’m surprised. They’re so adorable and wholesome, and I’m in love with seeing Loki in love. It’s so precious. (Just as a PSA, if you’re not into them that’s chill, and you’re allowed to dislike a ship without trying to justify your opinion by labeling shippers as morally problematic. Selfcest isn’t a real thing, therefore there isn’t a moral high ground to stand on here. Okay? Okay.) Wherever it ultimately leads, their relationship is still a really sweet exploration of them both growing and learning how to love themselves and trust others. Also, them cuddling under a tablecloth is the cutest shit I’ve ever seen with my two eyes.

MY THEORIES:

I love Sylvie so much, SO MUCH — and she is 100% going to stab Loki in the back by the end of the next episode. I don’t think the betrayal is going to stick, and by the end they’ll both be on the same page again, but the conversations on trust have been way too one-sided for my comfort. If nothing else she's going to seriously consider it. Here’s one way I can see that going. Spoiler alert: it hurts.

Sylvie betrays Loki at one point—and we see Loki’s growth and arc come full circle as, even after being betrayed by the person he hinged his entire development around, he still believes in doing the right thing, in saving her regardless. It ends in a heart-wrenching self-sacrifice of some kind, and his actions serve as the catalyst for her full development as well. We keep seeing different versions of Loki die for their ‘glorious purpose’, just like how Classic Loki shouts the phrase as he was consumed by Aloith (RIP King, I love you).

Loki has already called Sylvie his glorious purpose (or inferred it). There’s been backlash around him saying that, but the way I see it, it’s less “I’m obsessed with this girl she’s my purpose now” and more “I believe that she’s the best version of us and I’m going to make it my purpose to help her succeed and be what the rest of us aren’t”. That’s why seeing all the other variant Loki’s at their worst in the Loki clubhouse (? what do I call this lol) only fuels him more to find her. I think about what Mobius told him: “You exist to cause pain and suffering and death, all so others can achieve the best versions of themselves”. I don’t think Loki truly believes he can be the best version of Loki — I think he saw Sylvie and thought, "it's her". He’s decided he’s going to help her achieve the best version of herself, but he'll do it giving her love and trust and devotion, rather than through betrayal, pain and suffering. He’s re-writing his pre-determined role, in his own small way. I’m so proud of him.

So who’s behind it all and what’s truly going on here? (This isn’t really one theory, more like a string of possibilities and I don’t really know how they’d fit together.)

I still think it’s another version of Loki. And if it is, I can’t help but appreciate the connections between his position dictating the end of time in the show in relation to Loki’s role in the Norse myths, where he’s the catalyst for the destruction of all things. It feels relevant, considering the whole idea that ‘the end of time hasn’t been written yet’ has come up twice now. That would be a fascinating tie-in to the mythology. (Also—Alioth looks like a giant dog. And Fenrir’s role in Ragnarok was devouring the world—I realize this is a reach but am I the only person seeing this connection?) The thing I really can’t predict is the motivation. What would cause a Loki to want to prevent Loki’s from changing? Was there something that happened in the sacred timeline this Loki is trying to preserve? (I also like the idea of us maybe seeing another version of Sylvie behind it all, but I’m just going to leave that rabbit hole alone. )

But here’s the theory I can’t stop thinking about. There’s a theory floating around tik tok (by user twelvepercentcredit) saying the ‘castle’ we see beyond Alioth looks like a place called the House of Ideas, something that appeared in a (discontinued?) Loki comic. Here’s the wiki page on it. Just looking at the imagery of this compared to the location we’re seeing in the trailers, it’s too similar to be a coincidence. The huge bookshelves, the towering ceilings.

Here’s a description from the wiki:

“The House of Ideas is also home to a library which archives the exploits of every hero who has ever existed in the form of books, written unconsciously by the collective minds of their believers. This collection is curated by Now and Then, two of the children of Eternity. Now and Then routinely seek out heroes to bring into the House of Ideas to bargain with them and give their collections more pages, therefore more time for adventures and exploits. “

And later on the page on how Loki ties in:

“Heeding the desire in Loki's heart to do more with his life, Now and Then approached Loki and brought him to the House of Ideas,[5] where they struck up with him the deal to give more pages to his collection of exploits, rewriting the Books of Loki with a hero's stories in exchange for an eventual hero's death.”

Are they gonna play with the exact happenings of this? I don't know, but it sounds pretty cool!

It would be gutsy to go this route with the show given how meta it is, but I love the idea of it. Would they put characters that embody the abstract ideas of “Eternity” “Now & Then” into the show in the last episode? I’m not sure. Something I could see as a possibility though is an alternate version of Loki having overthrown whoever was previously guarding the timeline, and Loki and Sylvie will have to take them down in turn, thus ‘releasing’ the multiverse to its default, chaotic state.

What if our Loki’s ultimate destiny, ultimate Glorious Purpose, is to release the timelines--restoring all the variants back to their original timelines--and remain in this place for eternity, guarding the timeline and ensuring the multiverse is allowed to exist in its natural state? It seems a pretty fitting role for the God of Chaos. It would also explain why whoever’s behind the TVA would be so desperate to eliminate all variant Loki, if that was his ultimate destiny.

It would be an effective way to remove Hiddleston’s Loki from the movie-verse without killing him, AND place both Sylvie and any other Loki variants back in the the main timeline for use in future films—which we know has to happen somehow, because Young Avengers is definitely happening, and Kid Loki has got to get out of the void somehow.

And yea, this outcome would hurt like a bitch. Because even though that would truly be a lovely glorious purpose for our Loki, he’d be alone. And the whole point of this show is that he doesn’t have to be alone! It would be a very poetic sacrifice for him to take on the burden of watching over the timelines alone for all eternity so that his other variants could be the best versions of themselves, but I really just want him to be happy. I will be crying my eyes out if this happens. I’ll be proud but I won’t be okay.

And this all is probably speculative nonsense and could go off in an entirely different direction. Who knows. All in all, I just really want to see Loki fully believe in himself and his ability, to truly absorb what he said about being stronger than he realizes, and to take control of his destiny.

WHAT I WANT (NEED) FROM EPISODE 6:

Let Hunter B-15 and Mobius team up to burn the place to the ground. She was nerfed in the time-keeper fight, I want to see B-15 kick some ass.

I kind of want Ravonna to escape and be a character that carries over into the films for her tie-ins with Kang? I want to see more of her.

Give Loki a new badass costume. I’m begging. If he’s gonna go down, he deserves to go down in something other than khakis.

And then I want to see him and Sylvie fighting side by side in matching outfits.

I want a Mobius-level hug between them. Or a kiss. Or both. But I want the hug more. And you know what? I want her to initiate the hug or kiss or whatever it is because I want Loki to experience receiving love and affection from others as much as giving it. He deserves it ok??

I expect Mobius on a jet ski in the post credits and if I don’t get it I riot

@marvel these are my demands.

As always, if you've made it this far I'd love to hear your thoughts!

[bookiemonsterph]

Aru Shah And The End Of Time

Synopsis:

Twelve-year-old Aru Shah has a tendency to stretch the truth in order to fit in at school. While her classmates are jetting off to family vacations in exotic locales, she'll be spending her autumn break at home, in the Museum of Ancient Indian Art and Culture, waiting for her mom to return from her latest archeological trip. Is it any wonder that Aru makes up stories about being royalty, traveling to Paris, and having a chauffeur? One day, three schoolmates show up at Aru's doorstep to catch her in a lie. They don't believe her claim that the museum's Lamp of Bharata is cursed, and they dare Aru to prove it. Just a quick light, Aru thinks. Then she can get herself out of this mess and never ever fib again. But lighting the lamp has dire consequences. She unwittingly frees the Sleeper, an ancient demon whose duty it is to awaken the God of Destruction. Her classmates and beloved mother are frozen in time, and it's up to Aru to save them. The only way to stop the demon is to find the reincarnations of the five legendary Pandava brothers, protagonists of the Hindu epic poem, the Mahabharata, and journey through the Kingdom of Death. But how is one girl in Spider-Man pajamas supposed to do all that?

Title: Aru Shah And The End Of Time Series: A Pandava Novel (Rick Riordan Presents) Author: Roshani Chokshi ISBN: 1368012353 (ISBN13: 9781368012355) Pages: 355 pages (Hardcover) Published:  March 27th 2018 by Rick Riordan Presents Genre: Fantasy, Middle Grade, Children, Young Adult, Magic

Percy Jackson fans looking for similar authors are going to fall head over heels for Roshani Chokshi's Aru Shah! All the humor, friendships, and, of course, quests make this a perfect debut in the Rick Riordan Presents line!

I have a been a fan of Chokshi since THE STAR-TOUCHED QUEEN debuted. When I heard that there was going to be a Rick Riordan Presents line with publisher Disney Hyperion and that she was one of the three chosen authors, I was SO excited. Especially when I found out that her series would launch first! Granted, I wanted all three books and thought they all sounded great, but I especially wanted ARU SHAH.

The series starter ARU SHAH AND THE END OF TIME came out last week and I'm so happy to say it didn't disappoint! I was enamored with the world-building and the characters and have already been introduced to so much new mythology! It also feels like a great new series to recommend to kids who couldn't get enough of the Percy Jackson series. There's only so much I can give them in the children's department, and I love that ARU SHAH had all the humor, all the emphasis on friendship, and, of course, all the fun real-world questing that the Percy books have. I am so excited to continue Aru's journey as well as read the other books in the line because if they all capture the spirit of Riordan's own books and are as compelling and engaging as Aru Shah has been already, then I need to own each and every single one.

Aru Shah is just an ordinary kid, and readers will easily see themselves in her. She constantly wishes for a different life, and often tells tall tales at school that get her into trouble. When three of her classmates come to the museum her mother owns and see that she didn't go to Paris during break like she'd said, they decide to call her on her bluffs. Aru had told them that the Museum  of Ancient Indian Art and Culture was home to the cursed Lamp of Bharata. The trio demands that she do the impossible and touch the lamp. Panicking and not wanting to be in a viral video, Aru lights the lamp, never dreaming that she'll ACTUALLY release the Sleeper and bring about the end of the world. When everyone around her freezes, she realizes there's more at stake than she ever thought possible. She is a reincarnation of one of the Pandava Brothers from the epic Mahabharata poem. She is a demigod. And now, it is up to her and her Pandava sister Mini to save the world and prevent the Sleeper from reaching the Lord of Destruction before Shiva can perform the dance to end Time forever...

One of the main reasons I first fell in love with Rick Riordan's books was because they were overflowing with Greek mythology. Mythology was my favorite course in school, and I loved books influenced by myths. After discovering mythology, and realizing that myths and lore varied from culture to culture, I was always on the look out for tales from all over the world. I loved that Riordan went beyond the Greek mythology that is the most well-known in the United States and explored Roman, Egyptian, and Norse mythology. New tales were introduced and kids grew up enamored. One reason I've been so excited about the Rick Riordan Presents line is because more authors will introduce more myths to kids through fictional series--and they'll be #OwnVoices to boot! The first three series in the line focus on Hindu, Mayan, and Korean mythology. I know very little about these tales and am so excited to add to the vault in my mind where I store all these myths and tales.

Aru Shah has already introduced me to so much, from little things such as Urvashi's outfit "made from the skipped heartbeats of every person who had ever laid eyes" on her, which reveals so much about her personality and makes you want to know more, to the quests and heroism of the Pandava Brothers from the epic poem. Hindu demigods don't come into their heritage the same way as Greek demigods, either. They are related through the soul, not through blood. And their Claiming Ceremony is AWESOME and potentially deadlier than the ones at Camp Half Blood.

Another thing I loved about Riordan's books was the way he could turn something ordinary into something extraordinary. For example, Percy Jackson's weapon Riptide. It's a PEN. Demons and nymphs and monsters walked among humans, often disguised as your local teacher or shop owner. Regular buildings were fronts for something more magical....but only if you knew how to look. I love that all of these traits I loved so much carried over into Aru Shah and hope they do with other authors as well. There is an incredible Night Bazaar hidden in a CostCo--and it's a place for all types of beings, no matter their culture or identity. Percy Jackson and Magnus Chase and Aru Shah could totally walk side by side--and so too could a minotaur or a fury or a dryad!  It was such an imaginative place to bring to life, and I loved the characters we met inside who needed to help Aru and Mini on their journey. There are other "hidden" places they stop, too, that I don't want to spoil, but I will say, that visiting the family home of the Pandava Brothers was an especially well-shaped scene I enjoyed. And, of course, items! From weapons hidden in every day objects to special cookies to hairpins, there is so much fun and creativity throughout the journey!

There are so many great things I loved about Aru Shah, but to divulge them all would be to spoil your own discovery. ARU SHAH was fantastic, though, and I'm already eager to get my hands on ARU SHAH AND THE SONG OF DEATH  and meet more of the reincarnated Pandavas!

[catsitta]

Your writing, especially in BotU, is just amazing! It's so poetic and flows so well! Do you have any tips for learning to write fiction? Also I've noticed in your fae focused and underworld fiction you mention so much in regards to legends and myths that reflect real ones, what kind of research do you do for this or do you already know of this/made it up?

You’re making me blush. Heh. 

Alright, this going to be a long one, I got wordy.

My writing style mostly reflects how I learned to self-edit, since most of my fics are unbeta’ed. How do I do my own editing? If I find a tricky passage, I will write it how it would be spoken. While not ‘proper’ in many ways, a language when spoken aloud can tell you whether or not a phrase will sound right to the mind’s internal ear. In fact, my main advice for anyone writing anything, essay to novel, is to read it out loud whenever possible. (It also helps find and reduce typos, but if you’re a speed reader like me, you may still skip over stuff because your brain is sometimes super helpful (not) and fixes/fills in words!) Doing this will also force you look at your writing and realize that, even if it is grammatically correct, sometimes phrases will sound/look off and need to be redone.

Another tip that works for me (and is one I learned while writing essays in highschool and really embraced in my college writing courses), is to put words to a page, perfect them later. Your best solution to finishing a fic is to literally write it, then go back later and revise. That doesn’t mean there shouldn’t be structure. If you like knowing what will happen in every chapter before you start and write purposefully, that is great! But I would never get anything done if I made sure it was perfect while writing it or constantly backtracked to fix stuff before a chapter is done.

I will use my drabble fic, Handle with Care, as an example. I have 100 words dedicated to a chapter. A chapter should always inform the reader, bring up a question, answer a question or otherwise move the story and its characters forward, whether you are writing 100 words or 10,000.

.

[CHAPTER ONE:

“I, THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE EDGE, DEMAND TO KNOW WHO YOU ARE!”

Red rolled his eyelights as he dropped the last of the moving boxes onto the living room floor. Even trashed from the move in, this place looked better than the last. The walls had paint on them and the carpet was from this decade. Best go see what poor sap his little bro was yapping at before they got kicked out. Moving into the hallway outside the apartment, he spotted Edge and his victim. Red swallowed. It was a skeleton monster. Who looked up and winked at Red.]

(HwC had a basic framework written. As in, major keystones/plot points that needed reaching/bridging between.)

My process:

Q: What happened/needs to happen?

A: Red has just moved into a new apartment with his little brother, and while he is moving in, he meets his romantic interest for the fic. This romantic interest is his neighbor.

Q: Is the plot forwarded?

A: Yes. 

Q: Is new information introduced? Is it important? 

A: Red is moving in. Sans is his neighbor. Edge and Red are brothers and didn’t come from the best neighborhood previously. Edge is very outspoken. 

Q: Are there questions a reader may have? Or questions being answered?

A: Why/how did Red move? Why is his little brother living with him? Who is the neighbor? What is the neighbor’s purpose relating to the MC? How old is Edge? How old is Red?

Q: Does it make the Reader think or feel? What do I want my Reader to feel?

A: While not a very emotion impacting chapter in itself, it is supposed to be a cute bit of family fluff that hints at both a future romance as well as possible conflict arising from the reasons why Red and Edge moved.

.

I highly encourage people to try writing a 100 word drabble fic. Whether you are an experienced writer that writes long, detailed chapters on the regular, or someone who is just starting out and is finding it hard to find the time to commit to a long fic. 100 words is challenging in that you have to use every word effectively, but I’ve personally found it relaxing and even beneficial to me as a writer. After all, if I am having a bad day and nothing is going write and words don’t make sense? Well, I only need to write 100 and then try again tomorrow. It’s good for breaking an obsessive, perfectionistic cycle where you may be impeeding your own progress by simply never finishing. 

My last tip is to simply read.

Read anything and everything. You like romance and want to write romance? Read a bunch of it. Professional novels, fanfiction, poems, otome games, comics, manga...All of it. But also don’t be afraid to branch out. Every genera has different strengths. I LOVE fantasy. Traditional high fantasy with dragons and elves and knights and mages and great, cliche plots about good toppling the forces of evil. LOVE IT. And what is fantasy’s strength? World building. What is romance’s? Relationships and dialogue. The more you read, the more you subconciously pick up on diction and the tropes/feel of a genera. The most common comment I have recieved while pursuing a degree, was that I write like I read a lot. That I like to read. And it really stuck with me. Because it is rather true. You can usually tell the difference in the writing of someone who only reads because they must (or only the classics you are assigned in classes) and someone who reads for the love of reading. So be someone who writes like they love to read. Like they love language. 

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Now that I have rambled!

To answer your second question, my more myth based fics are always a hybrid of real mythology and stuff I’ve made up that is more cohesive with the world I’m writing about. If I am writing Undertale fanfiction, I want it to feel like Undertale fanfiction. I want to maintain certain themes and ideas, even if they don’t align with mythology. 

Greek Mythology is also a lot more fixed in places than faerie lore, and thus it needs more research to stay true. While in turn, you can be wildly inventive with faerie lore. Thus with my fae fics, I draw from a wide variety of sources, mostly from memory, be it from books I have read, games I have played, or stories I have been told. (It is often easier to ‘write what you know’ after all. If you read Norse Mythology for fun, then writing a fic retelling a norse myth may be more fun for you as a writer than writing a scifi drama you have to pour tons of hours of research into.)

As a quick example:

Bride of the Underworld’s basic premise is the Abduction of Persephone myth. It is very popular in media and it has endless interpretations. Turning the Underground into the Underworld was a natural step. But I never feel the need to 100% follow the mythology to the tee. This is an Undertale fanfiction after all! So, the math lays out like this. If Frisk is Persephone and Persephone’s mother is Demeter, then Frisk’s mother should be Toriel. Toriel’s husband is Asgore, the King of Monsters, who would be a natural choice for King of Gods, and is thus, a placeholder for Zeus. But Demeter isn’t married to Zeus, one could say. No, but he is married to Hera and Toriel can also fill that roll. In the game, they are estranged, which works perfectly, in that Toriel could have/raise Frisk in private, and become the sheltered maiden that Persephone/Kore was in mythos. (Now play apples-to-apples with a wonderful AU co-creator for 50k+ words and you have a fic.)

[majachee]

Hi! So I only started following you recently because of Hades, but I would lovelovelove to see and learn more about your ocs!!!

Oooh how lovely!!

So! I have three groups of OCs that I tend to focus mainly on, one group is based on angelology and Abrahamic religions and has the most fleshed out characters, world, and story so far! Didn't like how most forms of media were using angels so I went "hey, why don't I make my own OCs and story based on angelology?" And so I did! My character based on the archangel Michael is my main man, my son, I absolutely love him even tho I change his design and personality every week lmao. This story is... Basically angelic biblical political drama mixed with war and battles and stuff! Also some wholesome friendships between bros because I yearn for that stuff.

Some of my oldest ocs are part of the second group which is based in Greek mythology, mainly plays like The Bacchae, poems like The Iliad and The Odyssey, etc. My greek mythos based OCs are actually what lead me to Hades (was looking for inspo for oc Hypnos and stumbled upon sgg Hypnos!), and I plan on drawing my ocs with the Hades characters as a bit of a tribute since, even tho I feel like my feelings are wavering at times, Hades is a game that's very near and dear to my heart❤️ Gonna be real with ya, this story actually started out as a comical retelling of the Greek myths because I have a rather dark sense of humor, and thought some of the myths made A+ comedy material, but after realizing that my man Diomedes of Argos was getting overlooked (even though he's clearly the superior trojan war hero, ugh!) I changed it up a bit, and now it's much more darker and serious, with an entirely new plot mainly inspired by The Iliad, The Aeneid, and The Odyssey. Despite being the main character, my oc Diomedes is actually the newest oc in this group; Dionysus, Apollo, and Hermes are the ogs! They were gonna be the main characters back when i had the comedy idea in 2017-2018 :) I still absolutely love the dynamic I created for them and will showcase it in the current story I have for these boys tho, and they're most likely gonna be the first OCs I'll draw of this group!

Third and newest group are the dudes based on Norse mythology. The only reasoning I have for making another story and group of ocs based on mythology is that I got a bit... Too inspired by God of War 2018 and Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice, also I started listening to Wardruna and I was like "woah, music! I can make an oc based on this!" Honestly, I keep going back and forth with these boys, not knowing if I want the characters to be the Norse gods themselves, or just... Magical mortals that have some similarities to the Norse gods cuz ooooh symbolism. For now they're just the Norse gods cuz it makes my life easier lmao, they can also shapeshift :^) because I said so. also I'm salty that Baldr and Hod's brotherhood isn't really explored in most media (that I know of) so catch me casually yeeting that in there. Thank God some of these Norse myths are so vague cuz then I can straight up get away with anything and everything, and nobody can correct me :))) creative liberties hell yeah

Basically, my ocs are mythology bootlegs! I do have some non-mythology related OCs, but those are still heavily in the work and I'm not entirely confident enough to talk about them yet! But, I will say that some new non-mythos ocs I have in the making are heavily inspired by The Crucible ;)) I've been reading that book lately hehe... Also kinda that new game Little Hope. I heard dialogue from the demo of that game and happily went "oh hey that sounds like a line from The Crucible" and then idk what happened but boom! New OCs whoops!

Sorry if I rambled on a bit too much ^^' I just like talking about these silly characters that have been occupying my brain space for literal years lmao

[otterskin]

A Rebuttal to a ScreenRant thing on Loki and the Thor films for no reason other than the catharsis similar to shooting at clay pigeons that aren’t even trying to fly

Don’t click on this but here’s the article - https://screenrant.com/mcu-things-make-no-sense-about-loki/

Ah, ScreenRant, my old foe...you hath fallen so far these past few years...time was you were almost legitimate, but once you were sold to new owners, you became a rag of thoughtless clickbait 'journalism', seeing plotholes where there none. Let's dance.

ScreenRant Text: (So you don't have to feed them clicks)

Loki is often considered one of the greatest superhero movie villains of all time due to his never-ending schemes and tricks. As Thor's adopted brother, Loki has always been jealous of the God Of Thunder. His animosity mostly stems from the inheritance of the Asgardian throne.

Loki was denied the throne because he is the biological son of the Frost Giant ruler Laufey. After being abandoned by his father, he was adopted by Thor's father Odin and raised as an Asgardian prince. While Loki's never-ending deviousness makes for great entertainment, there are a couple of things about him that make no sense.

We begin with a Bonus Round! Loki is considered one of the greatest superhero movie villains of all time for various reasons, but the 'never-ending schemes and tricks' thing is a little...lackluster. It's not exactly what I'd say made himso successful, nor is it particularly true, but this is a matter of opinion. I'll let it slide. This, however:

His animosity mostly stems from the inheritance of the Asgardian throne.

Untrue. Thor 1 even has him state explicitly that the throne was never an objective of his, which is something I liked very much about the character and that film. It didn't go for the boring, stereotypical, low-hanging fruit, but actually tried to give the character a bit of humanity and zigged when most characters of that ilk zagged. That's the actual reason people like Loki, IMO. He surprised people by being - gasp - interesting. His animosity comes from a variety of things, but to simplify, if I may get schmaltzy, it comes from his fear of rejection and abandonment, and of being seen as less-than.

Loki was denied the throne because he is the biological son of the Frost Giant ruler Laufey.

We are never told why he was 'denied the throne'. We can guess. We assume this is the case, but it also seems like a) as the elder son, Thor was always first to inherit and b) When Odin promised that both his sons would be kings, it seems likely that at one point he intended to install Loki as king of Jotunheim, but then changed his mind. However c) it's mentioned clearly in an older scene in the script that Odin and Frigga had hoped that while Thor was officially king, that Loki would essentially be sharing many of his duties and would wield substantial power. 

I won't say this is 'wrong'. Loki, after all, claims it as the reason Odin didn't choose him as his successor. He may have been right. But we don't know that. Ambiguity is part of what makes films interesting, but apparently nerd media can never have a 'maybe' for an answer, sigh. This is a bigger problem than ScreenRant, so I'll let it go.

After being abandoned by his father, he was adopted by Thor's father Odin and raised as an Asgardian prince.

...this is what Odin said, immediately after Laufey tells us that Odin is a 'liar and a thief'....and then is proven right. Again, it's possible this is true, but we're also given reason to doubt Odin, and it's also possible Odin thinks he's telling the truth but is...wrong! Which he is about many things. It's something that makes him an interesting character. Ambiguity and interpretation. It's what makes you think about something long after the movie stops playing.

While I'm already disagreeing with SR here, this is more a fandom-wide problem of taking the text at face value only and reading the most shallow interpretation possible. However, stating that Loki's animosity comes from wanting the throne is in contradiction to what we've seen in the films, or at least a gross oversimplification. I award myself a half-point for that.

Points: 0 SR, 0.5 Otterskin

10. Unrealistic Survival

During the final moments of Thor: The Dark World, Loki became impaled and passed away in the strong arms of loving brother Thor. Dead? Not really. He was back in Thor: Ragnarok. Apparently, that was just one of Loki's holograms and the villain himself was very much okay.

However, recent history in the MCU proves that he holograms cannot be touched. In Thor: Ragnarok, Thor even failed in his attempt to throw a rock at Loki’s hologram. But in the death scene, Thor just happens to be holding him comfortably. And given that rocks go right through a hologram, then any other hologram shouldn't have been stabbed either.

EHHH wrong. Yes, Loki's 'light' magic can't be touched when there's nothing else there. But, as we see also in Thor Ragnarok, it can be touched if Loki is inside it - say, when he's pretending to be Odin. Thor grabs his shoulders and holds him in place after throwing Mjolnir. Great moment. As for that wound....who says Loki wasn't actually injured? After all, the scene was filmed 'for realsies' at the time and a reshoot retconned Loki into surviving later...but that doesn't mean he faked the whole thing. It's also possible that Loki just plain survived, due to some unknown Frost Giant ability that perhaps he didn't even know he had. We've never gotten a clear answer. And yes, keeping up the pretense of his death is still 'faking his death', even if he was really fatally injured. So no contradictions there.

SR - 0, OS - 1.5

9.Poor Attempt At Trying To Kill Thanos

Before he was made to look incompetent by Thanos, Loki was a very intelligent villain. Catching and defeating him wasn't easy, and this was all thanks to his ability to create illusions at will. He used this trick very many times and it always worked.

But when Loki is trying to kill Thanos in Infinity War, the only trick up his sleeve is pretending to pledge loyalty to the Mad Titan with secret intentions of stabbing him with a blade. Of course, Thanos stopped him and killed him. Why didn't Loki use a smarter trick? More importantly, why didn't he use his tried and tested illusion trick?

Hmm. Plenty of people have complained about this, but I never had a problem. For me, the answer is simple: what kind of intelligent is Loki? He's not a mastermind. He's not particularly gifted at tactics. What he's good at is misdirection and manipulation. And, when he does it, it usually has some kind of terrible personal effect. When I saw this scene, I had no problems with it from a character standpoint. Loki is a character who thinks with his emotions and does things based on that, even if they aren't logical. It's his fatal flaw going back to Thor 1 and present in every appearance since. In this case, I think Loki was manipulating Thanos. Manipulating him to kill Loki. Probably because Loki knew that would mean he'd spare Thor. However, this is my interpretation, and you're allowed a different one, SR. We'll just disagree on this one. I leave it to the commenters to decide who gets this point. For now, I'll give us both a 0.5.

SR - 0.5, OS - 2

8His Evolution Into A God

According to the MCU, Loki's parents are the Frost Giants Farbauti and Laufey. Despite his parents not being gods, Loki evolves into the “God of Mischief.” How is this possible, given that he was only adopted by Asgardian parents who were gods, but he himself had no god lineage?

RELATED: 10 Loki Memes Only Real Fans Will Understand

For Thor, his god status is understandable given that his biological father and grandfather are gods. So, can one become a god even when they aren't directly related to any god?

...I don't even know where to start with this. First off, we do not know who Loki's mother is. In fact I don't think it's even in the comics. If you mean the myths, then Laufey is his Mother, not his father, and in many myths Laufey is in fact Às (Asgardian), while Farbauti is his giant Father. He would also have two younger brothers. This is not the case in the MCU. There's some evidence that Loki's mother, whoever she is, is not a jotunn - he has biological features the giants do not, and Sir Kenneth Branagh indicated in the commentary for the movie that he was 'at least part giant', which could mean 'only part'. Eh.

Next...have you not been paying attention? This whole character arc is about Loki finding out he's not 'a god' due to his blood and trying to figure out who he is without that blood. At the end, he embraces his identity and decides for himself to be 'God of Mischief' and 'Odinson' regardless of his bloodstatus, while also, if not exactly coming to terms with his heritage, no longer hiding or rejecting it. Yes, it's about him 'becoming a god' and always having been a god, reaffirming his identity and recontextualizing it.  It's his whole...THING. And in fact, it’s the main thesis of Infinity War. It’s the challenge to Thanos, which he then accepts. Infinity War is Thanos’ ‘God Quest’, in which he endeavours to gain the powers of a deity. However, what being a ‘God’ meant to Loki is being ‘an accepted part of a family’. Thanos destroys his children in his quest to become a god. It’s an interesting contrast between the two ‘villains’.

Geezus, this is just being dense. And for the record, many Norse Gods and Goddesses are also giants, full-blooded and otherwise. Skadi, Goddess of Skiing, is my favourite goddess ever and she’s full giant. Her husband has very handsome and large feet, which is her preferred feature on a man. You know. To walk on snow with.

Two points to me for dealing with this nonsense. And a half a point for Skadi, she always gets you a half point.

SR - 0.5 OS - 4.5

7.Blue Hue

As the son of a Frost Giant, Loki was born with a blue skin tone. When Odin adopted him, he cast a spell that changed his tone from blue to white. However, Loki never seems to have an idea about his true skin color. Given his history of mischief, he has never attempted to change back either.

After, Odin’s spell to keep Hela far from Asgard ended in Thor: Ragnarok, his spell on Loki ought to have ended too. Or perhaps Loki has always been aware that he is blue. If so, then the confusion ought to be cleared up.

You know what? Point to SR for knowing Odin cast a spell on Loki and that Loki is blue (dabadeedabadie). We gotta throw them a bone, and that’s something other people forget or get wrong all the time.

As for the spell not breaking...Dr. Strange said it himself. A dead wizard’s spell is harder to remove. A spell falling apart in the event of the wizard’s death seems like a major design flaw. Can you imagine if other things worked like that? If a test was too hard, you could pass if you killed the teacher? Or if you locked yourself out of your house, all you had to do was track down the locksmith and murder him to destroy every lock he ever made?

I find it highly unlikely Odin would have been foolish enough to create a spell that would have failed upon his death. Hela was being actively contained, and even then she didn’t immediately appear upon Odin’s death. It still took her a minute to break free.

SR - 1.5 OS - 5.5

6Mind-Controlling Hawkeye Instead Of Fury

Loki found himself in the S.H.I.E.L.D. base after using the Tesseract’s portal to transport himself. One of his first tasks involves mind-controlling Hawkeye so that he can use him as security.

He also mind-controls Dr. Selvig to make him create the Chitauri portal.But it's strange that he doesn't mind-control the boss ,Nick Fury. If he had done that, everything he wanted would have been achieved more easily. Fury would have been his puppet and he could have used him to make the Avengers make regrettable decisions.

Honestly if he’d just walked into the UN it would have been easy-peasy, we can go down this rabbit hole until we end up in Oz.  But hey, we’ll give this one to SR, as one of those typical ‘CinemaSins’ things that Alfred Hitchcock would reply ‘because then there’d be no movie’ to.

I would add that this is more Thanos’ plan than Loki’s, though, so we don’t know if that was ever an option the purple man would’ve allowed.

SR - 2.5, OS - 5.5

5Thanos Was Too Lenient Towards Him

Long before they became enemies, Loki and Thanos were associated. One of the instructions that Thanos gave Loki was to get the Tesseract as soon as possible, or else. Yes, there were stipulations from Thanos outlined to Loki by The Other. Loki was promised a kind of pain he'd never known before.

RELATED: 10 Best Recurring Jokes In The MCU

However, Loki wasn't able to deliver the Tesseract for more than six years, and nothing really happened to him. Given how ruthless the Mad Titan is, it's a mystery why he was so lenient towards Loki.

...interesting that being promised untold pain is related to recurring jokes, ha ha...not sure what that’s about.

I dunno, Loki got the most brutal and graphic death in the film, seems pretty un-lenient to me. Not to mention half the people he’d just saved were all slaughtered in front of him, making him responsible for Asgard’s second destruction.

As for why not sooner, Loki was living under an assumed identity for those 6 years as his own father, his death widly publicized as a popular play. I imagine Thanos caught a matinee or something. Let’s just call this a draw.

SR - 2.5, OS - 5.5

4Stopping Agent Coulson

During 

Loki's invasion of Earth

 in

Avengers

, he trapped Thor in a cage, and while he was talking to his brother, Agent Coulson tried to stage a surprise attack. Not so fast Coulson. It appears the God Of Mischief is also the God Of Anticipating. Coulson ended up shooting a hologram instead of the real Loki.But how exactly was Loki able to anticipate Coulson's arrival? Can he see the near future? If such is the case, why didn't he see the attack from Hulk coming? Why didn't he use a hologram during the beatdown that left him in a pretty bad state either?

These are getting weaker, not stronger, as we get to number one. Didn’t expect people to still be reading, huh? Guess I’m the real loser, wasting more time on replying to this than was spent writing it. Oh well.

Chances are Loki turned himself invisible and left a copy in his place before walking behind Coulson. Which he’s done before. Illusions and mind-tricks are his main power.

SR - 2.5, OS - 6.5

3Hatred For Thor

Thor has always cared about Loki, but Loki has always wanted to end his brother. During the events of Thor: Ragnarok, a flashback scene showed Thor and Loki during their childhood days. Apparently, Loki did plenty of bad things to Thor.He once transformed Thor into a frog, while he also transformed himself into a snake to fool Thor into picking him up. Thor loved snakes, so when he tried to pick the reptile, Loki transformed back to himself and stabbed Thor. Why was there so much hatred? According to the first movie, Loki used to love Thor. He only started hating his brother when he found out that Thor was going to be the Asgardian king.

Always wanted to end his brother? Where is that coming from? Because he stabbed him as a kid in Thor’s anecdote in Thor 3? These are Asgardian kids, I expect there to be five stabbings before lunchtime. Kids are practically given daggers as teething toys.

I’m guessing this writer has never been or met a pair of siblings. Why is there so much hatred? Gee, I dunno, maybe because ‘Thor won’t stop hogging the X-Box and it’s my turn, Mum, it is!’ I mean, brothers and sisters do terrible things to each other. They make each other eat dirt and bugs, push each other off the deck, cheat at chess, spit in their hair, hide frogs in their bed, you name it. Now upgrade that to the level of the gods and you got some real fun shenanigans, and several more centuries of time in your childhood to get up to even more mischief.

You can still love someone and turn them into a frog. 

SR - 2.5, OS - 7.5

2Takeover Plan

Still, in the first film, Loki began scheming after finding out that he was adopted and he'd never become king.  The God of Mischief assisted the Frost Giants in gaining entry to Asgard so that he could destroy the Frost Giant King Laufey before he could kill Odin.RELATED:

 10 MCU Moments We Need To See In Disneyland’s New Marvel Land

Sounds good, but then Thor tried to feud with the Frost Giants too, and this didn't turn out so well for him. In fact, Thor was banished and dispatched to Earth because of this. It is thus strange that Loki thought Odin would like him for doing what Thor had done. Loki also waited for Odin to sleep first before trying to destroy Laufey. Wouldn't it have been better for him to try and do this while Odin was awake?

The order of events is all wrong. Loki did not discover his heritage until they went to Jotunheim, and didn’t hear the whole story until the Vault, at about the halfway point of the film. Yes, the film opens with him secretly helping the giants into Asgard to disrupt Thor’s coronation. He intended to goad Thor into going to the Bifrost to attack Jotunheim, and, as he says later to the W3 and Sif while their wounds are being treated, he hoped they’d be stopped there by Heimdall. However, Heimdall was more prideful than he’d accounted for, and that’s when they went to Jotunheim, which wasn’t the plan. Everything after that point is Loki improvising and reacting - it’s not so much a scheme as a scream, if you know what I mean.

Loki was unexpectedly made interim King while Odin was asleep and Thor banished. That’s a condition depending on Odin’s sleep and Thor’s banishment, either of which could end at any time, as Frigga tells him. She also tells him that Odin can see all of Asgard, even while asleep. Laufey reiterates this right before he tries to kill him. Odin also cries in his sleep, indicating he can perceive his children fighting on the bridge later in the film. Loki is putting on an elaborate play to demonstrate his loyalty to Odin and simultaneously sever his connections to Jotunheim, which he sees as a threat to his bond with Odin. He has room for only one father.

Were you on your phone when you were watching this movie? ...It’s okay if you were, but...man, you’re writing about this film, at least get the sequence of events right. It’s not a particularly complicated film.

I feel like I’m getting mean. Lose half a point for meanness, gain two points for two points made.

SR - 2.5, OS - 9

1Not Teaming Up With Hela

Loki and

Odin’s abandoned daughter Hela

had the same goals, but strangely enough, they didn't team up to make everything go smoothly. Given the kind of unity Loki had seen from the Avengers, he'd have been smarter enough to value teamwork more.When Hela arrived to take the throne and get revenge, Loki ought to have been the first person on her side. Her plan was basically a newer, small-scale version of his own plan in Avengers. Given his nature, it could have been more logical for him to team up with her then destroy her.

Same goals? You don’t mention them, though. I’d say their goals are entirely opposite. We see Loki’s rule contrasted with Hela’s quite clearly in Ragnarok. Loki withdrew Asgard from the other Realms (in my opinion, likely because he only has love for Asgard, and his interest in it and its people). He’s not interested in invading or enslaving or plundering (yes, yes, I know, Avengers, but that film was constantly making it clear that Loki wasn’t enacting his plan, but Thanos’, and he was being baby-sat by the Other to make sure he didn’t forget it. The stone was meant for Thanos, and we also know Loki wasn’t at his best self mentally at that time. He looked like he’d been chewing on coal and his skin had all the healthy pallour of a plastic bag. Compare that to Ragnarok, where he’s much more at ease and less...’my whole world has crashed down upon me’). Loki is like a cat in a sunbeam, happy to soak up praise, adulation, and acceptance from Asgard. Hela also wants those things - she’s upset when people don’t bow to her, that no-one remembers her, and that her cool paintings are gone. However, her solution to this is to kill everyone until she’s left with the people who are loyal to her. Loki’s was to create the play (which is either propaganda or much-needed Loki representation in the media, depending on how you view it), and convince people to like him. Hela demands loyalty, Loki wants love. Very different.

Her goal, of course, is to make Asgard great again, through conquest. Admittedly Loki did do something similar when he tried to flambé Jotunheim in Thor 1, but he did that for personal reasons, while Hela has a policy. Also, Hela wants Thor and Loki dead, and possibly was a large reason why Odin died (likely he was drained from imprisoning her). Loki loves Thor and Odin and does not want them dead; he also does not seem to want to be killed, at least by any hand not his own. There’s also the little problem of him being a frost giant, which Hela would likely not look kindly on (heck, original drafts of that painting depicting Hela conquering show her essentially enslaving the giants and forcing them to help build Asgard.) Hela isn’t looking for an equal partner. Loki wants equality above all else.

So no, no reason to team up.

SR - 2.5, OS - 10/10, a very good girl, here’s an invisible gold star

Aight, that was a great waste of time. But sometimes, you just need to refute every single point of something to feel better.

TL;DR: ScreenRant didn’t watch the movie(s).

[haevatein]

🔥 ‘ﾟ･ 𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒

𝐈𝐌𝐏𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐓: The opinions and views of Loke do not reflect my own. My muse morals and behaviours does not mean I, the writer, approve of them. Loke’s nature is both dark and light depending on the situation, but generally he is an asshole. If you’re uncomfortable with heavy themes and immoral actions, then this blog may not be for you.

   NOTE: This is fiction, not reality. I as a writer will not stay away from exploring certain themes just because you might be unable to handle the content this blog may dewelve into.  I do not tolerate artistic/creative censorship.

𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐃𝐔𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍:  This is an myth only of Loke Laufeyjarson from Norse Myhtology. I’ve written Loke since around 2012, and I am inspired by the myths, but as well as my own interpetation and headcanons. I do not have any MCU influences, and I usually avoid MCU interactions due to the great differences between actual Norse Mythology and Marvel. I can interact with MCU characters if we can plot it out properly without changing the core of who and what Loke is as a God. Which if difficult.

𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐑: Yo! I’m Jen, 25+. She/Her/Dad. Timezone GMT+1 (Sweden). I  try to be friendly and open to most! Holla at me whenever! I’m not always going to be super active, real life and just not feeling like it happens. I work a lot and won’t always have the time to do the shenanigans on here. Please do not hound me for replies, ic or ooc, they’ll come, eventually, maybe… Someday. I can sometimes go off the social radar for long periods of time, please dont guilt me into replying if I do not chat as often as I used to.

𝐅𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐆 & 𝐔𝐍𝐅𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐆 : This blog is private; meaning I only interact with my mutual followers (those who follow me and I follow back) thread and ask wise. This is for my own comfort and I ask not to be shamed for it.  I don’t follow everybody. If you follow me and I don’t follow back, then most likely I’ve either forgotten to check out your blog, or I’ve not felt that we as roleplayers will match, if the latter- please don’t take it personally. Don’t go out of your way to ask me for an explanation as to why I dont want to roleplay, or have blocked you. seriously. I’m not 100% exclusive as a standard, but if you want to be exclusive with my muse, I am willing to discuss that. However, if you want exclusivity from this blog, then I excpect the same from yours, and that the exclusivity will be mutual.

I will unfollow if no sign of desire to interact ic and ooc with me has been shown from your part despite me giving attempts to reach out. I will also unfollow and softblock you if you post politically charged posts, too much social justice related posts, or too much ooc where the amount of ic posts compared to ooc is very low. If you unfollow me, I ask of you to PLEASE softblock me (block then unblock) so I can avoid the awkwardness of me still sending you things without knowing you no-longer want to interact. Thanks.

𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍: I interact with any fandom (that I either have knowledge about, or find interesting despite lack of knowledge). I’m oc and crossover friendly, most are welcome to hang out with Loke here. AUs are top tier content, I love those. Interactions with multiple verions of the same character will be set in separate universes. I do not roleplay with non-roleplay blogs! Non-roleplay blogs are free to send in questions to my muse, headcanon asks or if they want to find things out about Loke from him in character.

𝐑𝐏 𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄:   No godmodding; you control your character and I control mine. Minor things are fine, if its minor actions that fit my muse and will move the plot along. If you don’t know my muse well, ask me if they would do the thing. MUTUALS are welcome to like my starter calls and to reblog any opens I write. THOSE WHO ARE NOT IN MUTUAL FOLLOWING WITH ME please DO NOT like or reblog starter calls/opens. I also want ask threads to be carried over to normal threads, as I find the reblogged ask thread system to be shit and aesthetically unpleasant to look at.

𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐒: I have no specific triggers, really. I tend not to tag trigger-like content except for the common nsfw tag. Again, see above important message. If you are sensetive and easily offended, this blog may not be for you.

𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆: I write mostly with small text, and use icons, gificons that are at 60x60 in size. I have no trouble writing without icons, though! You do not need to match my style of writing! I’ll do my best to match your writing lenght, but I tend to mostly write between one-liners to a few paragraphs. Of course, you do not need to match the lenght,  I just ask I do not recieve a one-line/uninspired reply to a reply of mine if I’ve written two paragraphs, etc.

𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐄𝐃: I am either faster than lightning on speed at replying, or slower than a crippled snail stuck in glue. A kind nudge on my shoulder regarding my reply/or if i’ve seen yours is fine! But please don’t hound me about it. That will make me reply even slower, if at all.

𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐆: I am not very open to ships on here, but it might occur! I don’t ship Loke with just anyone, he does not seek romance. However should he ever sail ships with other muses- then those ships are separate and he’s not cheating unless I’ve stated otherwise. I do not write polyamorous-shipping, like with multiple-writers being involved in the same thread, it has only given me bad experiences. I am okay with poly-shipping if the muses belong not to many writers but only me and the one other writing-partner.

   NSFW: I can write smut, but only with those I'm comfortable with. I don't write smut with underage muns & muses.

𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐒: I’m open for mains and exclusives. I prefer being close to my rp partners and have ooc communication. Exclusivity is reserved to those I am very close to ooc and have known long enough.

𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒:  I read other writer’s rules pages before I interact, but I  tend not to send in passwords, though. It depends on my anxious feeling , you get me?

𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐒:  Same as for political posts and/or sjw related content. I don’t want it on my blog and will probably unfollow if I see it too much of that sort of drama on my dash. I don’t engage in callout drama for petty reasons such as a falling out or you just don’t like someone. Witch hunts are gross, keep it away.

𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐓𝐒:  RP icons/PSD by me, dash-icon by me, theme background & art by me.

[libertarianbarbarian]

Where I stand and why

WHERE AND WHY I STAND THE WAY, I DO

   FACTS

  -https://www.theasatrucommunity.org/sumarsdag-blot

-Odin,

Sky Father,

Highest of the Gods in Asgard,

From Mimir’s well you drank

For knowledge and wisdom,

A clear vision within,

A clear vision without.

Lord of Life and Death,

On Yggdrasill

Which spans all worlds, all life,

You hung in self-sacrifice,

And learned the sacred mysteries,

That do pierce the veil of all creation.

Mysterious and powerful are the ancient runes –

That you grasped unto yourself

And penetrated their deepest depths.

    OPED-WARNING

             Oh boy. Here we go, this is probably where I’m going to lose a shit ton of followers. So here goes nothing! I’m a follower of both Asatru and Odinism. This means that I am Norse Pagan. I follow Odin, Freya, and Thor. To my Christian followers just so you know I don’t overtly hate you, no I don’t follow a guy with horns, no I haven’t been to a mental institution…and not I don’t hear voices telling me to blow up churches…only on Sundays. Just a joke! Not a manifesto! Oh, God’s someone’s going to find this and try to use this out of context I know this. Ok here we go with the rest of the blog.

           So it’s well known at this point that I served in the United States Army at this point…if it isn’t…well now you know. I went through some things while I served, some good some extremely bad, it kind of comes with the territory. I was a “faithful” non-denominational Christian at the time I raised my right hand to enlist.

           I can’t really say I knew what it meant if I’m being sincere with you dear reader. I can say that I had been through a lot in my life, yes. I would pray endlessly, read my bible endlessly. I knew the old testament, the new testament like the back of my hand. Everything I said and did I tried my hardest…nothing. I can’t name one time that the “Lord and Savior” would personally send me a sign or let me know he was there for me or speak to me through his text’s.

            I then began to fall off the “band wagon” so-to-speak. This was well into my career as a soldier. I was a democrat, part of the liberal hive mind that began to eat away at the culture that is not around our youth that is my age now. It wasn’t until after I was discharged from service, thanks Obama, that I had my very first real religious experience and was horribly misguided by it.

           So the religious part, this is the juicy part haha! I just got discharged from the Army due to the massive draw back in funds that President Obama had in the department of defense. They were kicking people out for practically any reason they could instead of getting rid of equipment…that’s just what they do. When they discharge you, they send you to your home of record, mine just happens to be good old Kankakee, Illinois…kind of a shitty small ghetto town south of Chicago, not the worst place I’ve lived but not the best I’ve lived either.

           I was recently married to an honestly crappy woman, just had my first son and I had no job, or prospect of getting one living in my father’s half of a duplex again. Great beginning to my twenty second year of life, right? If you answered yes, I, just have no words for you right now.

           One day I’m beating feet on pavement doing what I can putting in paper applications to every brick and motor I can in town when it begins to down pour around me. Fucking great. Automatically I’m angry at everything around me, I’ve been out there for about three hours and I’ve got couple hours more, it’s July in Illinois and the sun was just shinning and you just want to randomly dump rain on me God?

           It took a moment, but I realized that I was completely dry. Everything around me was, what was getting soaked. Looked at the pavement under my feet dry. Three feet over, soaked, and still getting poured on. Oh, that’s fucking weird…but maybe there’s something to this God thing after all. Took him long enough after all. So it was then, being the Midwesterner that I am, I look up in to the sky and yelled “Hey if you’re going to keep me dry. How about you, and Jesus Christ get me a fucking job to?”

           Now I know if you’re Christian, and you’re reading this you’re going to tell me, “That’s not how God works Mr. Barbarian.” I know that! He never worked that way! Especially not in my case. But it was me having a bitter moment, and I KNOW, you Christians definitely have your bitter moments too! So “You is without sin cast the first stone”.

           I don’t know why, but in that moment, something told me to look for a reply, but nothing came. So, standing there I started joking around. Being the dork, I am I had an extensive knowledge of all the ‘myths’ of gods past from ancient cultures of our ancestors. “Ra?” nope, “Zeus?” nope. “Odin?” that’s when it happened, my general jackassery almost had caused me to miss the two very large noticeable ravens fly over my shoulders then land in front of my feet then turn to face me quietly.

           ‘There’s no way’ I thought to myself. Odin, the guy that has one eye? The God that is all about laying and slaying, keep in mind fellow Odinist’s I didn’t know much back then, is trying to reach out to me of all people? “Oh yeah whatever! If you’re really trying to talk then make it make the sky light up with lightening, then!” I continued down my path of jackassery. And as soon as I finished my statement the sky lit up with bright pink lightening.

           Right away I began to delve in to research into what this could mean. I found that there was a resurgence of the old Norse ways. That I wasn’t the only one the Norse God’s were coming to. It was now called Asatru, or if you were specifically following only Odin, then Odinism. Later, I found that I was also being called upon by Freya, goddess of love and warriors. And Thor…no not Chris Hemsworth, god of storms, war and fertility.

           Oh no, I wrote this because of Odin. This is where the big show begins…Gods I’m long winded. Odin is the All Father, kind of like the Zeus of the Norse Gods if you will. But when it comes to what he’s the god of, well he has A LOT under his belt! One of the main things he’s the god of is knowledge. And in some respects, he’s kind of like the Christian God.

           Odin won’t just give you knowledge. You must fight for it, you must find it, you must understand it. If you were to say, here something on the news from CNN well awesome! Ok, where did it happen, then go check out the local news from that area, see what the local news says, check the interviews of the locals to see what they say and relay it to the facts of the news story and see how well it holds up. That is something my religion tells me to do. That is something my God, Odin, says is honorable and something he admires.

           He also admires fighting. Now I know what you may be thinking, fighting? So just start beating the crap out of people? That seems a little vicious! No, those of us who believe in Asatru, and Odinism actually look at fighting or “battle” in a different light than you might think. It would actually be better described as “fighting for what you believe”.  Like I do now. I believe that the media needs to stop grandstanding for one political party and report the facts. I believe that big tech needs to stop censoring one political party or those it doesn’t agree with and allow all points of view, whether they agree or not. I will fight for what I believe, here on the internet, or in the senate, or in office if need be.

           So yes. I am following a religious crusade…not the Christian kind, so Muslim’s are safe. The kind where I seek knowledge, the kind where I will be the every-man that tries to understand your point of view and find commonality. The kind that will fight for what I believe in peacefully. I will accept the wanderer with a homely attitude because one day it might be my God Odin that comes walking through my door and it is our belief that we should always present the homeless wanderer with the best of our food, our chair, and bed as well as conversation and knowledge.

           This is why I am the Libertarian Barbarian.

[inknerd]

November Wrap-Up 2018

I’m a little late in posting this, but let’s go!

I have, for the first time, embraced non-fiction november; so the amount of non-fiction I’ve read this month - while perhaps not that many compared to others - is way more than usual.

VERY GOOD LIVES by J.K. ROWLING ★★☆☆☆ | 74 pages | 1 day to read | Published 2015

So, the only reason I read this was because it was in the pile of books I won a couple of months ago, also because it was non-fiction and very short. + So this was a speech Rowling apparently held some time ago at a graduation, and like, it wasn’t bad? - I’m not super invested in J.K. Rowling in general? But I still thought the speech would be more spectacular than it was.

NORSE MYTHOLOGY by NEIL GAIMAN ★★★★☆ | 235 pages | 1 day to read | Published 2017

Man, Norse mythology AND Neil Gaiman? It’s strange I haven’t read this before now. + First of all, I dig the cover. 10/10. This book is also hilarious, while still keeping it serious enough that it feels real. - I can’t say I can come up with anything super important to complain about; but there were certain things I’d hoped would appear in the book that didn’t, and I sort of wished for illustrations?

ZEUS GRANTS STUPID WISHES: A NO-BULLSHIT GUIDE TO WORLD MYTHOLOGY by CORY O’BRIEN and SARAH MELVILLE ★★★☆☆ | 304 pages | 1 day to read | Published 2013

I saw people talking about this on tumblr and desperatly wanted to check it out. Guess how happy I was when my local library had it???? Very happy. + God, it’s so funny! I especially enjoyed the part dedicated to Norse mythology. The illustrations were quite funny, too. - While it was super interesting to read about creation myths and stories from mythologies I haven’t really read about much, not knowing them beforehand made it a little bit harder understanding what was going on under all the jokes.

BAD FEMINIST by ROXANE GAY ★★★☆☆ | 320 pages | 5 days to read | Published 2014

This is a book I didn’t get myself, but I was still really excited to read it! (Mainly because it had sprayed pages that looked like marble) + It was an interesting collection of essays about a subject that’s always interesting to read about. Overall I think they all were good. - To me, there wasn’t really anything I hadn’t about (several times) already, and I sort of hoped it be a more fun/witty read.

MEN EXPLAIN THINGS TO ME by REBECCA SOLNIT ★★★★☆ | 130 pages | 2 days to read | Published 2014

+ Really interesting and meaningful read that at least made me feel like I was realising and understanding things I’ve already read about,because it was written in suck a good way. - I skimmed some essays in this collection - some where definitely more enjoying to read than others.

ILLUMINAE by AMIE KAUFMAN & JAY KRISTOFF ★★★★★ | 602 pages | 2 weeks to read | Published 2015

MAN, I’d heard so much about this book and how many people loved it but I had NOT expected to love it as much as I did! One of the best books I read this year, definitely. + The epistolary style doesn’t often do it for me, but I wasn’t bothered by it this time at all! I really liked the artistic choices they made to present the different types of text and especially the way they made the pages from the AI’s perspective. This book was also funny and imaginative while also being subtly terrifying the whole time. It’s a war-love-mystery story in space and also zombies and it works. - Nothing big I can think of. Looking forward to the sequel.

SAMLADE DIKTER by EDITH SÖDERGRAN ★★★★☆ | 187 pages | 2 weeks to read | Published 2014 (1949)

I’ve been thinking I need to read more poetry in Swedish and I already knew I would probably like Södergran’s poems, so yeah. + They are written so beautifully and some of them really stand out to me. I’ve read poems like Vierge moderne and Violetta skymmningar... before, but it was nice reading even more. - There were parts - or years - of the book that I wasn’t at all interested in, while some really stood out to me.

BYGONE BADASS BROADS by MACKENZI LEE ★★★★★ | 176 pages | 9 days to read | Published 2018

+ I actually loved this way more than I thought I would? The real reason why I gave it five stars rather than four is that the illustrations and the colours were just SO beautiful??? Like, everything just looked great it made the reading experience even better. - I can’t really think of anything obvious to complain about. The writing in this book is supposed to be witty and stuff, so if you’re looking for a more “objective” book about women in history this is not for you, but it was still fun to read.

NÄR HUNDARNA KOMMER by JESSICA SHIEFAUER ★★☆☆☆ | 301 pages | 3 days to read | Published 2015

So this is a book I read with the class where I have my teacher’s practice. Normally, I probably wouldn’t have picked this book up ‘cause it’s not really my style, but now I had to read it and it wasn’t BAD...more like OK. + Shiefauer is a good writer in general - she has good language and writes different perspectives good. The most interesting thing about this book is that it’s sort of based on a real-life crime that happened in Sweden some time ago. - idk, I didn’t really care much for the characters and the main romance had me very frustrated (but I think that was the point?), and while it might be a good book to read in class with sixteen-year-olds it’s not something I would read by myself.

MY LADY JANE by CYNTHIA HAND, BRODI ASHTON & JODI MEADOWS ★★★★☆ | 491 pages | 4 days to read | Published 2016

Ahh, I finally got to read this! I’d looked forward to reading this so much and after asking my kind library bought it in! + It’s just here for a good time, you know? I mean, it’s a story about a queen that sat on the throne for a couple of days, a king that’s deathly ill, and a guy that turns into a horse every day - and it like...works? I’m amazed. The story was fun and easy to follow. - I felt like some things were just unnecessary? Like, I understood why they had to do some things but meh. It’s also hard to take this book seriously, but that’s not really overly negative. Am looking forward to read My Plain Jane.

MEN WHO HATE WOMEN AND THE WOMEN WHO LOVE THEM by SUSAN FORWARD ★★★★☆ | 301 pages | 1 day to read | Published 1986

I have no idea why I started to read this. I saw someone recommending it in a tumblr post together with a link to the ebook and went like “oh” and read during the entire day. + It’s very easy to read while still keeping it professional. It was easy to see Forward’s reasoning and the stories she had about women stuck in certain types of marriages were so...sad to read? I also liked most of the conclusions she had. Overall a very interesting book to read. - I didn’t notice at first but by the ending I realised some things were sort of dated (this was released in 86, so not that strange) and then there were other stuff I sort of stopped at but then thought maybe it’s a cultural difference? Not really big things.

RESTORE ME by TAHEREH MAFI ★★★☆☆ | 400 pages | 1 day to read | Published 2018

MAN, I wanted to like this book. I couldn’t believe when I heard the Shatter Me-trilogy would get another set of books. I was so happy! But...meh. + I feel like I don’t anything specific to put here but like the book is still FINE. Juliette’s powers are still cool, more ‘interesting’ characters gets introduced and the language is still Tahereh Mafi, you know? - BUT I honestly think I got so frustrated by the characters because I had let this series go. I read the third book, was satisfied by the ending and now I sort of have to wake up the feelings for the characters that I used to have. But they are not there and I just...found myself incredibly frustrated by all the characters. ALL OF THEM. Also some plot-point just feel so...B. Just give me a book with Juliette destroying stuff that’s what I want.

MOXIE by JENNIFER MATHIEU ★★★★☆ | 340 pages | 1 day to read | Published 2017

Wasn’t planning to read this. I saw it at the library one day and just picked it up and started reading. + Very entertaining and frustrating at the same time. I think the idea of Moxie was pretty cool and they came up with inventive ways to fight back; like drawing stars and hearts on their hands to show support, or take on bathrobes to protest against the school’s sexist dress codes. A cool book. - I didn’t care much for the romance - Like I understand why it was in there and it gave a really interesting perspective of certain things, but it would have been just as good if they’d just been friends, you know?

GIRLS OF PAPER AND FIRE by NATASHA NGAN ★★★☆☆ | 336 pages | 1 day to read | Published 2018

I got this beautiful book in a fairyloot box and was so excited to read it! Sadly, some things just wasn’t as good as I’d hoped. + Listen, the worldbuilding in this? Cool. Awesome. I’m really fascinated by the country’s history, religion and myths, and the different castes and different demons that exists in this world. It also has a f/f main pairing, and honestly? I’m here for that. - I’m not kidding when I say that while I was reading I thought “I’m probably going to give this like four stars” and probably would have if I didn’t hate the ending as much as I did. It felt rushed, unrealistic and also just crushed some of the things I’d thought would happen because I was so certain they were hinting at certain stuff during the entirety of the book. But no, didn’t happen. Okay.

BEAUTIFUL DARKNESS by FABIEN VEHLMANN & KERASCOËT ★★★★☆ | 94 pages | 1 day to read | Published 2009

A graphic novel I read while waiting in the library. It was surprisingly good! + So weird, but also so entertaining, horrifying, and fun to read? I love the artstyle - which manages to be cute but still manages to look really creepy when it’s supposed to. - Sometimes I struggled with what this graphic novel actually tried to say. And why did they kill the badass warrior-lesbian with a scissor-sword OFF-SCREEN!?

[tumblunni]

like.. i mean.. its not even a Huge Bad or anything, like it doesnt seem like the creators were intentionally bigoted but just that they wanted to do ~historical accuracy~ but this kinda bugged me in The Banner Saga its not even anything big but it really stacks up??

like i mean there’s loads and loads of scattered lines that’re all ‘oh no the women and children’ and thats pretty much the only way they appear as like ‘oh no.’ the main female character in the whole game is your protagonist’s daughter who you ~have to preserve the innocence of~ by not letting her fight when like she’s fuckin 18 and she’s ONE OF THE BEST UNITS IN THE DAMN GAME her, and oddlief, and yrsa. ALL THE DAMN ARCHERS cos btw all women are archers and we only have three of them across two armies and there’s like fiddy other classes for men and also a species of all male giants and also the enemy stonemen are assumed to be all male and then seeing one female one is meant to humanize them just because ~oh the women and children~ and ~women don’t fight in war, they must be really suffering to start doing that~ WHEN YOU HAVE YOUR THREE FEMALE PARTY MEMBERS RIGHT THERE

and seriously fuckin ~PRESERVING HER INNOCENCE~ she’s 18 you get an achievement for either not using her in battle, or using her but never having her deal a killing blow she’s ffffuckin 18 you’re supposed to just see her as ~oh poor boo~ who i should want to protect, and ignore her own wishes when she keeps saying she wants to fight universally, allowing her to do what she asks to do will get nothing but bad results in random events and stuff first time you do it it gets a man killed man also did I mention how annoying it is that you can just randomly lose units forever if you pick the wrong dialogue option in random events?? I lost gunnulf and yrsa and i’d wasted SO MANY UPGRADE POINTS ON THEM so yeah there’s only three female characters and two of them can die in these random events and dont really have much of a plot role and then the last one is ~preserve her innocence plot~ and gets kidnapped or whatever to motivate her dad, and then even badass Oddlief gets kidnapped too to motivate protagonist and like SUDDENLY OUT OF NOWHERE becomes a love interest for him right before this happened like seriously where was the fucking chemistry

oh and oddlief also has another fuckin wallbanger scene cos she’s the wife of the village chief and she comes out and tells you that you have to be the next village chief when he dies, because “nobody would ever follow a woman” and “i would ruin the village for the sake of my selfishness, everything would fall apart into riots” if she tried to be the new chief like.. youre just... a random fuckin hunter??? oh and blablabla oddlief is apparantly ‘barren’ so she’s a dead end to the chief line and you could provide a heir blablabla. that just makes it even weirder that she suddenly gets a romance with you out of nowhere prior to her potential death scene, when youre like.. you’re just chief cos you’re taking the role of her son... oh and then she goes off on a tangeant about how being seen as a strong woman is super bad and she wants to be ~allowed to cry like a real woman~ and its just really fuckin stupid and never gets brought up again this is what i mean about games with ‘historical accuracy’ about predjudice or whatever not having to.. like... AGREE WITH THE PREDJUDICE AND PRETEND EVERYONE SUPPORTED IT INCLUDING THE VICTIMS thats such a fucking LAZY way to handle this kind of plot

and then seriously if they were trying so hard to limit all women to one class then they shoulda tried harder to not make it THE BEST CLASS IN THE GAME that repeatedly solo’d the entire board for me while protaggy mcdad went down like a sack o bricks if i’d been able to keep all three archers instead of RANDOM FRIGGIN DEATH EVENTS, I coulda had a much easier time! seriously daughter character had a shitty unique ability that I never used once in the game, and she was STILL better than everyone else the only people who were even better were the other two archers who had a good ability too

also like.. seriously.. you could have at least tried to establish that daughter character was in need of protection... at all?? like she’s just introduced going “dad i wanna fight to defend my own damn life and home” and then he says no and THEN SHE KICKS ASS WHEN SHE ACTUALLY FIGHTS TO DEFEND HER OWN DAMN LIFE AND HOME and we know NOTHING about these characters really, except that the guy we’re supposed to like has been introduced going all ‘blablabla dont fight for literally no reason except woman’ and then his motive for the whole game is about sheltering someone who doesnt need it and never asked for it and notably he has no fucking arguments about his daughter’s childhood friend fighting in the same fight just cos he’s a dude. even though theyre a fuckin HUNTER FAMILY and he’s been fighting alongside his daughter every damn day and should know what she’s capable of. And this is just a random village kid! who predictably dies in that same battle! and gets completely forgotten about! tfw ur shitty sexism plot is wreckin things for the male characters too lol

oh and then THE FUCKIN ENDING the big gimmick is that one of the characters has to sacrifice themself to kill the big bad and they have the fuckin GALL to make this THE ONLY TIME you’re allowed to let her prove herself! the choice of letting her be the one to die is presented as “but dad i can really do it” and her proving she’s better than him so if you dont want her to die you have to shoot her down and say she cant fight cos she’s a girl and blablabla i will protect you even though you dont need protecting AGAIN when really my fuckin motivation was more like “fuck u maybe if you dont exist then her plot won’t be blablabla protection every five minutes” I REALLY WANTED THIS PROTAGONIST TO DIE i’d say its cruel of me to blame him for bad writing choices, but really he didnt have much personality outside of the sexism. just generic 'for some reason you are our leader now and we all trust you’ type hero...

and like.. this put everything all into perspective?? like her WHOLE PURPOSE IN THE GAME has been to make you wanna protect her, and then ~oh tragedy~ she gets fridged in the end to fuel our protagonist’s character growth and again its a case of the bad outcome whenever you choose to agree with her. and like it “proves” the whole thing cos her big hero moment of fighting gets her killed. (even though it does the same to the protagonist too...) and then if you choose the dad to be the one who dies you’re forced to agree with his protectiveness thing and he dies and now she’s left believing he’s right... I mean I’m at least happy they gave us a choice here! But i’m not really very confident in how they’ll handle her as the protagonist in the sequel, considering how they handled all the female characters here. or they might just have some new character take over the protagonist slot instead...

oh and also its weird that every female character is basically a different hairstyle/hat on the same model like.. a super super thin modern ideal of a supermodel character, too its not super fanservicey or anything but its weird with how all the dudes vary wildly in body build and like.. the typical viking wife character in anything ever is usually chubby, and here you cant even tell which one is supposed to be older than the other two. and they all wear robes despite being archers?? also why is the varl race all male, except from just “because theyre strong and nobody wants to see strong women” the jotunn/giants in norse myth were never all male, and that seems to be what they’re based on. tho i mean this is a world where greek centaurs and weird biological statue robots are also here, so they might not be based on anything, lol

[odanurr87]

2018: My year in games

2018 was another good year for gaming as far as I’m concerned, provided you haven’t played Fallout 76 that is. Sony’s still releasing great exclusives, to the point I’m left wondering whether they can keep it up, and we’ve had some interesting releases on PC as well. I don’t have a clue as to how Microsoft is doing, but their one exclusive title I might’ve been interested in, Sea of Thieves, had a messy release and is only available on the Windows 10 store (no, thanks). Notably absent in the release schedule this year was EA’s BioWare, who have been working to release Anthem come February 2019, a title I have little hopes for considering how much it departs from the games the developer is known for as EA tries to embrace the Destiny “live services” crowd everyone is so keen on getting these days (*cough*Bethesda*cough*). CD Projekt RED is also on standby as they continue to work towards Cyberpunk 2077′s release... sometime. Well, at least we know we’re probably getting it sooner than Star Citizen or Half-Life 3. Thankfully, it was a year absent of controversies, like, say, a studio using a franchise to cash in on the battle-royale rage with minimal effort, or a company mocking consumers and telling them not to buy their game... Oh... Well, shit, guess no year is absent of controversy then, but it’s nice to see EA’s spreading the love.

But enough remembrance. You’re here for the list of my top games of 2018, or whatever category I come up with to sort them into, and that’s exactly what you’re going to get. 100% guaranteed, no microtransactions included. This year I’m going to try something different, listing the best games I played this year without ranking them, then selecting my favourite among these, my GOTY if you will. It may be rather unusual, and we all enjoy debating whether this game is the best or that other, but, on the plus side, it builds suspense for my GOTY, doesn’t it? After all, once you see a number other than 1 next to a title, you already know it won’t be my #1 choice. That and I’ve had a tough time trying to rank these games, especially the ones I’ve only just played. Perhaps I’ll change my mind later, but, for now, let’s what games were deserving of some praise this year, shall we?

PSA: This list won’t feature Red Dead Redemption 2 in any way, shape, or form, largely for two reasons: 1) I haven’t played it; and 2) it doesn’t particularly appeal to me, and its large runtime is one of the reasons why.

Let the epicness begin to this theme!

Best Aesthetic

Let’s start with a classic. Last year, the award went to Abzû for its excellent blend of pastel colours, pleasant gameplay, and wonderful soundtrack. It’s only fitting then that this year the award go to the game I recently called “2018′s Abzû”...

Released only a few weeks ago, Gris is another great example on how a game can exquisitely combine gorgeous artwork with an infinitely beautiful soundtrack, and provide an engaging, and rather creative, gameplay experience. Indeed, I'd go so far as say that is one aspect where Gris actually stands out over Abzû, with puzzles that are quite simple, but may require some lateral thinking from the player at times. The level design is fairly intuitive and I was hardly ever stumped as to what to do or where to go to next. Or maybe I was too busy enjoying the watercolour landscapes to pay much attention to where I was going. While Gris won't take more than 4 to 6 hours of your life, depending on whether you've found all collectibles, it is a visual and auditory spectacle well worth your time.

Runners-up:

Ni no Kuni II: Revenant Kingdom

Forgotton Anne

The PlayStation Exclusives

A Telltale-like game on steroids with spectacular visuals, thanks to an insane amount of mocap, and a great soundtrack, Detroit: Become Human really pushed the envelope in regards to choices and consequences within a narrative, so much so that every chapter has a story tree that shows the choices you made as well as the different branching-off points. Our story takes place sometime in the future of Detroit and explores the onset of an android revolution through three different characters, all of them androids: Kara, a housemaid android who runs away with a little girl called Alice; Markus, a domestic android turned rebel leader; and Connor, an advanced prototype specifically designed to help the police track down deviant androids.

Gameplay-wise, Connor’s story is definitely the best of the three, as it allows for more input from the player as Connor has to solve cases with his partner, Lt. Hank Anderson, played by Clancy Brown. These sections of the game are similar to the ones in the Arkham games, requiring you to analyze the scene and put together the clues to recreate past events. At times though, you’ll be placed in adrenaline-filled chases of suspects that make an impressive use of QTEs. As much as I loved this human-android crime-solving duo, the award for most dramatic and emotional story has to go to Kara and Alice’s odyssey to find a new home in the midst of all the chaos. I couldn’t help but feel immediately protective of Alice so I naturally roleplayed Kara as a mom, trying to set a good example for her through my actions. My one regret about this story concerns a decision the developers made, that takes place towards the game’s end and chips away a little at the significance of their relationship for no real value. As for Markus, he felt the more underdeveloped of the three, perhaps because he’s written more as a symbol than a person, becoming the Messiah for all androids (the game’s anything but subtle about this). He’s given a romance arc with the gorgeous Minka Kelly that, sadly, feels unearned, as her character, North, doesn’t have that many intimate moments with him.

Damn you for so obviously pulling at my heartstrings you two!

No story is without flaws and Detroit: Become Human is no exception. While it does feature humans interacting with androids here and there, I was surprised that the android revolution was 100% human-free, what seems rather disingenuous. The game also does little to explain android deviancy and actually muddles the issue by giving its Messiah a unique ability that ends up being not so unique after all. Furthermore, the story doesn’t explore at all the possibility that, even after going deviant, some androids would prefer to stay with their families rather than join Markus’ uncertain revolution. The game’s not particularly subtle in its depiction of android segregation in human society, to the point some of it struck me as more than a bit ridiculous (exclusive stairs for androids?), but I rolled with it thanks to the strength of some of its characters.

Clocking in at around 12 hours, give or take, this is one game that encourages multiple playthroughs as you read the decision trees to figure out where exactly you want to take the characters next and how to do that. A blind first playthrough is encouraged, especially if you want to end up an emotional wreck. For my part, Detroit: Become Human scratched my sci-fi and Telltale itch this year, and that’s why it makes it on my list.

A solid action-adventure title, and one that further disproves EA’s bold, but dumb, claim that single player games are dead. While perhaps not as visually striking as titles like Horizon Zero Dawn or Assassin’s Creed Odyssey -probably due to do the muted colour palette used to depict this world-, God of War remains engaging gameplay-wise, throwing in a healthy mix of satisfying combat and puzzles that will put Kratos’ skills to the test, as well as interesting side quests that never feel like a chore to play, thanks to how well integrated they are to the game’s theme and main story. The customization system is simple enough to understand and use, what is always welcome, and plays a key role in ensuring you will survive your journey, allowing you to upgrade your weapons, craft unique armours, and further tune the both with enchantments, through the tireless efforts of the best side characters in the game, the dwarves Brok and Sindri. The only fault I can find here is related to progression, and how the better armours in the game are available a little too close to the end. By that time, I had three great sets of armour to choose from when I could’ve used at least one of these earlier.

For those new to the franchise, as yours truly, you play Kratos, voiced by none other than Christopher Judge (Teal’c!), a Greek God (with a capital G) who has decided to exile himself to somewhere around Scandinavia after the events of the previous games. The game’s premise centers around trying to fulfill your deceased wife’s last wish to spread her ashes from the highest peak of the mountain. Along for the journey comes your BOY, Atreus, who does his best to connect with a father he rarely knew growing up, what strikes me as odd. Being a Spartan, and given his background, Kratos is more tight-lipped than I would’ve preferred, what makes communicating with his son rather difficult, at least in the beginning. While I understand and welcome what they tried to do with the characters here, I feel the father-son relationship could’ve used further development, especially in regards to a radical personality shift Atreus experiences out of the blue mid-way through the game and is gone just as quickly.

Infused as it is in Norse mythology, comparisons with 2017′s Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice seem inevitable, but whereas that game retells the myths via a great narrator, in God of War you actually get to partake in this mythical world and explore some of them. Perhaps precisely because I had previously played Hellblade, most of the twists didn’t come as a surprise, but that doesn’t make them or the story any worse for it. I also have to give the game credit for its ending, which avoided some of the more cliché options available to it. Given the running theme, it would’ve been easy to turn it into something else entirely, and a few minutes leading up to it, I feared that’s exactly what the game would do, but was pleasantly surprised to find out otherwise. It even went the extra mile of hiding away the post-credits scene where one could expect to find it.

In the end, despite a few flaws in its storytelling, God of War is a solid entry in the single player action-adventure genre that I can easily recommend to anyone. If Hellblade didn’t scratch your Norse mythology itch, then God of War most assuredly will.

I don’t think it’s a stretch to say this game has done for Spider-Man what the Arkham series did for Batman. Marvel’s Spider-Man is a great Spider-Man story and a very entertaining superhero game, that truly makes you feel like the highly acrobatic, web-slinging, joke-cracking, crime fighter. Swinging your way through NYC was a great rush, reminding me of Mirror’s Edge: Catalyst’s best parkour moments. But Spider-Man is only half of what makes the character great, and the other half, Peter Parker, is perhaps the best adaptation of the character I’ve seen to date, foregoing the tale of his early days as a superhero and reporter for The Daily Bugle, instead focusing on his career as a research assistant under Doctor Otto Octavius. He’s still broke as fuck though.

The story throws you right into the action at the onset, as you ensure Wilson Fisk finally goes to jail for the many crimes he has committed. It doesn’t take long before a new criminal group moves into town however, one that is far less concerned about civilian casualties and is determined to bring down the mayor of NYC, Norman Osborn. So begins a rather complicated web of lies and secrets that both Peter and Spider-Man will have to untangle as the city is slowly engulfed in chaos. Joining you in this fight are NYPD captain Yuriko Watanabe, Mary Jane Watson, now a reporter at The Daily Bugle, and even Miles Morales. Of the three, I liked Yuri the best and felt we could’ve used more time bonding with her. I know very little of Miles’ run as Spider-Man and, while I welcomed his addition to the game, it felt a little lazy to make him such a carbon-copy of Peter. As for MJ, she thoroughly annoyed me with her shtick of getting mad at Spider-Man for constantly saving her, moreso considering how she recklessly puts herself in extremely dangerous situations to begin with.

Less MJ and more Yuri please.

The game features an open world that gets layered with side activities the more you progress through the main campaign. It’s a good idea so as not to overwhelm players with a ton of busy work right at the beginning, and I’ll admit some of them give the player more insight into Peter’s past and Harry Osborn’s character. However, busy work they remain, and you’re obliged to tackle at least some of them if you want to buy suits or upgrade your equipment. While often creative, especially Harry’s research stations, their abundance highlight the lack of more (and more interesting) side quests (the amount of loading screens doesn’t help either). Furthermore, teases like Felicia’s Black Cat returning to NYC or even Silver Sable’s introduction were begging for side quests of their own. Even so, the game’s worst sin by far is how it forces you to play scripted “stealth” sections with Miles and MJ that I kept wishing I could skip. I’m a huge fan of stealth games, but these sections felt extremely forced, perhaps done out of a need to give these characters some agency.

In the end though, Marvel’s Spider-Man is one of the best superhero games to date, and perhaps the best story we never got to see on the big screen, but it naturally benefits from a running time longer than 2 hours. Ironically, it’s similar to the recently released Aquaman, in the sense that it throws a lot of familiar faces and action-packed set pieces at you, particularly towards its emotional third act, unfortunately sacrificing some villains (in terms of storytelling) in the process. Furthermore, this final act feels a little rushed, as if it were missing a cutscene or two in the beginning, and likewise in the end to explain the state of the world. Yet for me, Marvel’s Spider-Man’s crowning achievement remains making me feel like one of my favourite Marvel superheroes as I parkour, fight, and web-sling my way through New York City.

Best Soundtrack

This was not an easy choice to make as there were several titles with solid scores this year, such as Detroit: Become Human, created by three different composers for each of the characters, Peter Due’s Forgotton Anne, or even Joe Haisashi’s Ni no Kuni 2: Revenant Kingdom. Even John Paesano makes a comeback from his average work on Mass Effect: Andromeda with an excellent main theme for Spider-Man as well as a few other great tracks like “City of Hope” (which plays every time you traverse the city), “Responsibility” and “Behind the Mask.” But the difficulty in choosing one of these increased exponentially when Gris released to an absolutely mesmerizing score by Berlinist, putting me in a similar predicament as last year. In the end though, only one gets to take home this prestigious award, and that game is...

This one was almost a toss between Gris and Detroit, but, in the end, I have to give it to the latter for the sheer amount of work put by Philip Sheppard (Kara), Nima Fakhrara (Connor), and John Paesano (Markus) into crafting three separate and distinct scores that not only feel authentic to each of the characters but are also wonderful to listen to on their own, effectively elevating the source material, something not many titles can boast. If you were to force my hand right now to pick between one of the three, I’d naturally have to go with Philip Sheppard’s score, as his Kara leitmotif was the one that stuck with me the most throughout the game. It’s a simple string composition but the things he does with it, the way he builds upon it, it’s something truly wonderful. It doesn’t hurt that I loved Kara and Alice’s story the most, from an emotional standpoint, and Philip Sheppard’s score plays no small part in this. Having said that, I also have to congratulate Fakhrara’s Connor score, far and wide the one that feels more at home in this sci-fi world, and Paesano’s work in elevating Markus’ character through his music, with great tracks such as “Something You’ve Never Seen Before” or “Markus’ Speech,” to mention a couple. Like last year’s NieR:Automata, Detroit: Become Human’s score is definitely worth a purchase.

Runners-up:

Gris

Forgotton Anne

The Animated Adventures

Of all the games in this list, none fit the category of “family game” better than Ni no Kuni II: Revenant Kingdom. Everything from its bright and colourful art design that could be lifted straight from a Studio Ghibli production at times, imaginative world and characters, and cheerful soundtrack, made this game a delight to play from beginning to end. It was truly refreshing to play such a straightforward and sincere story about a young prince who wishes to unite the world in peace, working together with his mentor and a motley cast of allies from all corners of the world. The story is framed as a series of chapters, with opening slides and even a narrator to close each one, and it follows Prince Evan as he's exiled from his kingdom after a coup, yet finds the strength in his newfound commitment to bring peace unto the entire world. As such, he founds a new kingdom that you get to micromanage throughout the game, building and creating different facilities, undertaking research or crafting new weapons and armour, finding new recipes for your cook, or scouring the world for people keen on becoming the first citizens of your new kingdom. Unless you’re planning on rushing through the main story, kingdom building will take a good deal of your time, as you’re sent on quest after quest to gather ingredients, find missing people, or engage in battle from time to time. To give an example, it took me 37 hours to beat this game and I still had a ton of things to do on my quest log!

As perhaps one would expect from such a kid-friendly game, Ni no Kuni II is surprisingly easy to play, so much so that people actually complained it lacked difficulty levels, which were eventually added in a patch. If I had to criticize it for something, it would have to be for its world map exploration, which looks similar to Worlds of Final Fantasy, a design decision that clashes with the vibrant Ghibli-like art that is prominent throughout. Perhaps it was outsourced to a different studio than Level-5? Also, the amount of side content in this game can get a bit overwhelming and more than a little repetitive, but if my runtime proves anything, it’s that you can engage it at your own leisure (indeed, it takes 90 hours for a completionist run), or not. The game also features a sort of in-world Facebook/Twitter where you can check posts with pictures of events that have transpired, people looking for new jobs or challenges (a nice way to search for citizens), or even examples of the world’s flora and fauna. It’s a nice little feature that makes the world feel a little more alive and reactive than it really is. As for its score, composed by Joe Hisaishi, while it does have great tracks such as “The Curious Boy” (my personal favourite), “Kingmaker’s Theme,” or “Happily Ever After,” not to mention its main theme, and is solid overall (more so than other titles in this list), it’s probably not one I’ll often find myself listening to, which is why I didn’t award it with my Best Soundtrack award.

All in all, Ni no Kuni II: Revenant Kingdom is a title I’d heartily recommend to anyone who wants to experience a charming and colourful bedtime story in a little country a long, long way from here...

Developed by ThroughLine Studios and released by Square Enix earlier in May, this game wasn’t even on my radar, but, like Ni no Kuni II, Forgotton Anne is a game brimming with imagination, that pleasantly surprised me with its great voice acting and soundtrack. Unlike Ni no Kuni II however, the game maintains its beautiful, hand-crafted, aesthetic throughout, making you the protagonist of an animated adventure with high production values, as you take on the role of Anne, a human tasked with enforcing the law in a world of forgotten objects turned sentient, called Forgotlings. When a group of rebel Forgotlings strike a power plant, Anne will have to track down the mysterious rebel leader and uncover the truth about herself and this world. Forgotton Anne is a game that allows you to roleplay a ruthless Enforcer as well as one that prefers more peaceful means of resolving conflict and these decisions are acknowledged throughout the game. Equipped with the Arca, a glove that allows you to manipulate anima (or soul energy), Anne will often be presented the choice of 'distilling' Forgotlings or sparing them, opening or closing certain doors for you.

The game plays as a platformer with puzzles that revolve around your use of the Arca to open doors, power up consoles, etc. These are not terribly difficult but you may find one or two that leave you scratching your head for a bit. Exploration is encouraged by way of collectibles and, in fact, a feature is introduced at the end of the game that allows you to travel back in time and replay certain levels in order to track down memorabilia and unlock achievements. It's a neat way of allowing replayability while in the context of the story and it gets extra marks from me for the additional effort.

While the story is largely predictable, it's by no means any less good for it and was, to my mind, perfectly executed. One lingering issue I have, nonetheless, is how the game makes a reveal halfway through, believing it'll have more impact than it actually did as I'd already been playing under the basis this was true. Perhaps they should've made more of an effort to hide it in the beginning. Then again, maybe that would've drawn more attention to it. Another issue I had storywise has to do with how underdeveloped, and slightly contradictory, I felt one of the endings was. It's a feeling I also had when playing the original Life is Strange and realizing how much more effort was put into of the endings as opposed to the other.

When all is said and done, Forgotton Anne is a charming animated adventure that will undoubtedly pull at your heart strings, but also make you smile merely for being allowed to partake in this world of ill-tempered teddy bears, trigger-happy guns, and Shakespearean mannequins, and it’s a definite recommendation.

Lara’s Final Chapter

Shadow of the Tomb Raider delivered almost everything I wanted from a new entry in the Tomb Raider series, but not all I would’ve expected from Lara’s final chapter. Together with her friend Jonah, Lara must stop Trinity from finding an ancient artifact in South America that has the power to reshape the world. However, in her rush to beat Trinity to the finish line, Lara may have inadvertedly set in motion a series of events that threaten to trigger an apocalypse. As a result, Shadow of the Tomb Raider turns out to be a darker game than its predecessors, a fact highlighted at several points throughout the game, but never sufficiently explored, though I give it credit for acknowledging it. Sadly, while Shadow tries to tie together the Trinity storyline from Rise, we learn very little in terms of the composition and overall goals of this shadowy organization, that is now practically reduced to providing cannon fodder for our favourite Croft. The main villain is a little more nuanced and sympathetic than previous ones, and for once the series doesn’t tie your hands behind your back during the final boss fight. Unfortunately for the game, I was more invested in fighting his lieutenant, who gets killed in a cutscene.

In terms of gameplay, Shadow doubles down on tomb raiding, adding underground and underwater exploration, but one can’t help but feel its maps are more constrained than in Rise, favouring the Uncharted series’ more linear approach, particularly when it comes to the game’s combat sections, which feel more scripted than ever before. Perhaps by way of compensation, the game introduces a new stealth mechanic that allows Lara to camouflage herself, thus getting insanely close to her enemies, and the ability to hang enemies from tree tops a la Arkham series. The crafting system now allows you to harvest insects to craft poison grenades or special arrows that turn your enemies against each other, though, regrettably, these are introduced rather late in the game. Weapon customization also makes a comeback as does Lara's ever-increasing wardrobe. Shadow also tries something new by introducing side quests, but thankfully never so many as to feel burdensome.

This game looks pretty to boot too.

The music is mostly unremarkable, working to great effect immersing you in the setting and building on the game’s atmosphere, as I’m sure was Brian D’Oliveira’s intention, but there's nothing that'll stick with you after you're done tomb raiding your way to the end. The pieces that stood out to me the most are “Lara's Dream” and the end credits song, “Goodbye Paititi,” but that’s about it. This might partially explain why Lara’s final chapter lacks emotional resonance; a lot of the emphasis is placed on the action, few, if any, leitmotifs or themes are introduced, with (maybe) only the main theme carried over from previous games. It would be wrong to lay the blame entirely at Shadow’s feet when the first game didn’t establish a musical narrative beyond Lara’s theme though. I don't recall a Jonah theme or a Trinity theme, for instance. Perhaps if the series had maintained a coherent musical narrative with its score the story beats would've been more impactful.

Our story ends in an uneventful note that I feel doesn’t do the series justice. It’s not a bad ending, but it doesn’t pack the same punch as, say, Uncharted 4 did. In a way, this is a curse of its own making, as the Tomb Raider series is tonally different from Uncharted; and whereas the strength of the latter rests in Nate’s interactions with his friends and family, Lara has always been terribly isolated in these games, Jonah notwithstanding. Thus, while not exactly the swan song our tomb raider deserves, if you played the previous two games, Shadow of the Tomb Raider is definitely not one to miss.

Best Side Content

I don’t think any other game I’ve played this year has come close to making its world come alive nearly as much as this game did. With plenty of side quests and side activities, it would be easy to make them seem like busy work, but this game somehow manages to turn them into events the player can look forward to, building the world these characters live in, making it feel real. Some are so entertaining that I found myself delaying the main campaign so I could play more of them. No game released this year did this better than...

While the game shows some signs of its age (it was originally released in 2015 in Japan), what it lacks in visuals it more than makes up packing its world full of fun things to do. Do you want to go out for drinks and do some karaoke? You can do that. How about some batting practice? You can do that too. Dinner? Sure. Car racing? You bet. Can I rock the dance floor? Like freaking Travolta. You can even play games at your nearest SEGA arcade, bet big on an underground fight ring (there are two), get into real estate or manage your cabaret club, by far the mini-game I had most fun with. The amount of detail put into some of these mini-games is beyond ridiculous and would definitely justify having a game of their own. Beyond these activities, you also get to meet a lot of interesting NPCs that have their own unique stories to tell and that you always feel glad to have helped at the end of the day. You can help a mother rescue her daughter from a cult, have the Chinese mafia fake a ring for a guy’s girlfriend, teach a dominatrix how to be better at her job, or even share your stories with a radio programme to win a prize, to mention a bare few. You can also have a few laughs at how bad Majima is tailing people and trying to hide from them.

Yakuza 0 is an example of side content done right, that foregoes the modern-day open-world formula, opting for a more constrained setting a la Deus Ex: Human Revolution, but that feels big and rich thanks to its content and characters. And on that note, let’s give it up for Judgement Kazzy!

Runners-up:

God of War

Ni no Kuni II: Revenant Kingdom

Assassins No More

Last year, Origins made it into my list through sheer spectacle, the lure of exploring Ancient Egypt, and the promise of a return to the modern storyline of the Isu with the introduction of a new set protagonist, Layla Hassan. This year, Odyssey ups the ante by delivering a story that, while still revolving around a family drama, no longer makes revenge the driving force of the narrative. Indeed, for a good chunk of the game, our character’s motivation (Kassandra, in my case) is a blend of making a living as a mercenary and exploring the world beyond her small island of Kephallonia. Given how beautiful and colourful the world in Odyssey is, I’d say it was a smart choice. The game also introduces more interesting side quests than its predecessor did, and better tied to the main campaign, with one of my favourites being the Silver Islands arc; perhaps in no small part thanks to how cute the rebel leader, Kyra, is. In fact, Kassandra can romance a TON of people as she explores the world and runs errands, but, sadly, no relationship is as well crafted as, say, your relationship with Triss or Yennefer in The Witcher 3. Some might come close to being as impactful, such as your relationship with Daphnae, one of the Daughters of Artemis, but they’re all mostly just one-night stands, with one particular relationship coming out of the blue as the game ends that I wished the game had set up and built further.

I know I said cute, but hot works too.

Gameplay-wise, Odyssey plays very much like Origins, with a more streamlined crafing system, that requires less variety (but still tons) of resources to upgrade your gear, but with blocking gone after the shield was removed, an odd design choice. You still get to level up your character, though the leveling-up curve is rather steep at the beginning, forcing you to play much of the side content that would qualify under busy work. It doesn’t help that the in-game store sells a Permanent XP booster that gives you an additional 50% XP for $10, as well as materiales to upgrade your gear, and has the balls to outright call them “Time Savers.” Ubisoft further pushes the in-game store and Helix credits by introducing a new currency in-game, necessary to buy crates with random legendary gear drops from a special vendor, that you get at a much slower rate than your usual credits. I’m not too mad about this, given that the game does reward you with some great-looking armours through normal playthrough, but it’s something we should be on the lookout for future titles.

Naval battles make a return and, simple as they are, I welcomed the distraction and opportunity to sail the Aegean Sea and discover new locations and secrets. At times, Odyssey manages to replicate the sense of wonder and mystery I experienced when playing Skyrim. On the other hand, Conquest battles, its newest addition to the franchise, fail to live up to the expectation. Beyond their limited scope, the worst sin they commit is how inconsequential they are, having no impact in the world around you beyond what banner the closest fort will fly. Curiously, these battles are missing from the main story's end content, what seems odd considering they would've been a perfect fit for the story. In fact, there's a stark contrast between Chapters 1-7 and 8-10, with the latter chapters moving at a brisk pace that is not necessarily justified. On the plus side, Ubisoft has seemingly embraced the Isu civilization, what has allowed them to include mythical creatures like the Minotaur or Medusa, and even throw in Atlantis for good measure. I only hope they’ll go the extra mile and throw in some Greek Gods as well.

The game has some well-placed humour as well.

For all the things it does better than Origins however, I feel Odyssey takes a few steps back, especially insofar the modern-day storyline is concerned. While Layla Hassan makes a comeback, her story is so short and uneventful that it comes across as an afterthought, jumping ahead in time and introducing a whole host of new characters we have never met and referencing events we know nothing about. Layla herself experiences a radical transformation from being skeptical of the assassins’ intentions to becoming one of their strongest supporters. Nothing about the modern-day storyline makes a lot of sense, with many gaps that are probably filled in with other material such as comics and novels, but I’ve always believed that to be the hallmark of lazy and poor storytelling. Either commit to the modern-day storyline or don’t, Ubisoft, you can’t have it both ways.

Overall, I feel like Odyssey is an improvement over Origins, and that’s why it makes it on the list. I am however, skeptical that Ubisoft will pull it off a third time before the charm and novelty of an open-world Assassin’s Creed game wears off -it already is thanks in no small part to its side content-, or before they push the Helix Store so hard down our throats that they have their own Battlefront 2 controversy. Perhaps they still have a shot with a game set in Japan or China. Only time will tell.

My favourite game of 2018

This wasn’t a particularly easy choice to make considering the different strengths and weaknesses of the games in this list, not to mention their different approaches to storytelling. Assassin’s Creed: Odyssey is a strong contender, but its world is so filled with busy work, its modern-day story so underdeveloped, and the push of the Helix Store so blatant, that I cannot in good conscience say this was my favourite game of 2018, let alone GOTY. Likewise, Shadow of the Tomb Raider was initially well-positioned in my mind to take it home, but it just didn’t stick the landing for what it’s supposed to be (but hopefully isn’t) Lara’s final chapter. Another single-player action-adventure title, God of War, gets almost everything right, but I couldn’t connect with the story of Kratos and Atreus in the same way I did, say, Kara and Alice in Detroit: Become Human. I could go on knocking out competitors, but I’d rather talk about my favourite game released in 2018...

Yakuza 0 is not a perfect game, but it gets pretty close at times. Set in the 80s, Yakuza 0 follows the characters of Kazuma Kiryu and Goro Majima, two rookie Yakuza who, for different reasons, have fallen in disfavour with their respective families, and need to figure out whether they have what it takes to return to the fold. That’s about as much as I can reveal without talking spoilers. No story in any of the games I played this year gripped me nearly as much as this one did (some moments in Detroit: Become Human come close), not only because of how well-written the characters are across the board (including the villains who come across as fearsome opponents), but also because of its many twists and turns that will keep you guessing what the real goal of the different players you find yourself involved with is. Your character, be it Kiryu or Majima, and his understanding of events by the game’s end, is radically different from his starting point, as you unveil plots within plots within plots, a result of the many and varied agendas at play here. To say this game has as many layers as an onion would be high praise... for the onion. Both Kiryu and Majima are powerful characters in their own right when fighting thugs, as demonstrable by the gameplay, but Yakuza 0 is quite ruthless in showing you exactly how out of their depth they are when they decide to take on... bigger opponents. You would think this is because Kiryu and Majima get beat up, and they do, a lot, but I actually found it’s the conversations they have with other characters, the villains in particular, that’s the highlight of the game. Yes, characters in Yakuza 0 talk, a lot, so you’d better get used to it, but these conversations, excellently voice-acted, fill the atmosphere with so much tension, dread, or sometimes anticipation, that you can’t help but be absorbed by them, as you can never guess what the other party might say that will surprise you. And this game surprised me a lot.

Man, the conversations in this game...

Having said that, it is true many of the twists and turns that were a surprise in the beginning started to feel a bit trite when they’re re-used in the final chapters. One that annoyed me in particular was the game’s use of the “Your Princess is in Another Castle” trope (incidentally, God of War also does this to some extent), sometimes forcing events a little much to pull it off. I suppose this has to do with the fact that this “Princess” becomes the sole motivation for your two characters towards the end, getting shuffled around so both Kiryu and Majima can get a crack at the villains. It works thanks to the strength of the characters and their dialogue, but I would certainly take issue with a lesser game that kept me running around the place for 4 or 5 chapters straight. I also felt that, of the two leads, Kiryu’s ending is the one that feels more natural to his character, as opposed to Majima’s, who experiences an odd personality shift that doesn’t seem to jibe with what we know of him. It’s possible this has to do with the fact that, while Yakuza 0 is the starting point in the series for our two protagonists, it’s not the first game in the series. As a matter of fact, there were 5 Yakuza games, released over the space of 10 years, prior to Yakuza 0.

Having previously awarded it with my “Best Side Content” award and praising it for its world-building, despite not being an open-world game (yes, you can have invisible walls and still make a great game!), Yakuza 0 only needed to deliver on its story and characters, and it did that in spades.

And that’s it for my list of the best games I played in 2018! It’s a bit of a long read, for sure, but I could hardly have done these games justice had I written less, and in some cases I probably didn’t write enough. What about you? What are some of the best games you played in 2018?

[grizzlefur]

WWEm - M. Night Parablamyan

You’ll be pleased to hear that Comic Sans has gone on indefinite leave. Also, the formatting has now become single line spacing, until I find I don’t like it or something. Let me know if you like it/love it/don’t give a monkey’s butt.

As ever, Emma can be found on Twitter as @Waruce, usually during PPVs.

Transmission date: Monday 12/Tuesday 13 June 2017.

all up in this bitch, cos it's SATURDAY AFTERNOON RAW! raise your hands if you can't remember thing one that's been happening on raw shit, can't type with my hands raised rescind that last advance warning: if i make more mistakes than usual in this writeup, extend me some leniency on account of i can barely see straight, because it's fucking summer so my eyes are full of TREE SPERM and MUCILAGE and THE DEATH OF ALL THINGS seriously, it's a party but oversharing aside, let's watch some wrestlemans and wrestlewomans, although the raw wrestlewomans' division needs to figure out what the fuck it's doing

we open with a recap of joe talking shit to an absent devil who i think is going to be turning up this week? i say that like i care and also him choking the life out of a small portly jewish man and being the most well-spoken kind of psychopath snapping into the present, we're apparently in the cajundome and immediately hit brock's music hey, they know what the fans want now i just need to figure out why they want that so yes, the championship is here, attached to the walking embodiment of technically-legal masking agents but thankfully, only paul has a mic apparently this is the day of joe's fuckupening i paraphrase, but i wish i wasn't "Like a shark luring the chum into his domain..." paul, i think we need to take you to seaworld or some shit apparently joe was somehow abusing brock's ring, despite the whole bit where he hasn't been here in a couple of months paul is hastily retracting everything complimentary he said about joe last week and now throwing shade about the fact that joe's not part of the anoa'i dynasty? that's certainly an esoteric burn the angle is that the coquina clutch would probably fuck brock up, but joe won't be able to get it on him because he ain't shit related note: can we have a moratorium on white dudes calling poc a 'mutt' or similar? leaves something of a bad taste joe arrives, him and brock immediately unload on each other kurt sends in security, brock kills them all, so paul calls in the whole roster to pull them apart and they kind of suck at it leave security to the pros, guys all the faces are clinging onto joe like he's the messiah and end thing, apparently tonight's main event is kkb/hardyz for the title round #34982, but this time it's two out of three falls cut for ads, and we come back on a recap video of the exact thing we just watched i know i say my memory's bad, but seriously booker's still here, because shut up with your reasons

but now, here's elias and his guitar and his array of scarves weirdly, this crowd seems pretty split on him he's written a song about the brave inhabitants of the cajundome asks the crowd to be quiet while he plays, cole immediately starts talking so yeah, this is a song about how louisiana and dean ambrose aren't collectively shit so here he comes elias, please never try and rhyme 'breath' with 'darkNESS' again recap video of the deep strangeness of miz's championship celebration aka, The Day Mike Fucked A Clock With A Chair (and offended his wife) i did like the ending of it, though it's nice to have the cameramen acknowledged as something that exists in-universe elias samson is present, so naturally corey is immediately salty as fuck he hates dean, too, but seriously "The man has the vocal stylings of a pigeon that's been stepped on!" (fun fact: i would probably listen the hell out of an elias samson album) (just do acoustic covers, whatever, i just like his voice) so far, this match consists mostly of dean trying to trashweasel his way out of trouble and elias shutting him down duelling chants seem a bit harsh: "You can't wrestle!" "YOU CAN'T SING!" dean gets his usual comeback sequence comprising a strange mix of real wrestling skill and just running in the vague direction of your opponent and hoping they fall harder than you do elias stands far too close on a suicide dive, basically just grabs dean and walks backwards like oh no i am defeated dean gets the upper hand of a super slow turnbuckle spot, miz runs in to bother him elias still can't even pick up a distraction pin maryse is backing miz up, so at least they're still okay dean goes for miz, he does the wife-shaped shield thing it doesn't work at all, miz gets beaten on a lot dean gets back in the ring, elias does a nasty knee drop on his back as he comes in, swinging neckbreaker for the pin "By hook or by crook, a W is still a W!" are you in a fucking ionesco play, corey

but now let's have more of goldust doing his thing his thing, of course, beign sitting in a chair at a terrible frame rate and quoting films dude, if you just turned that chair a bit, you wouldn't have to crane your neck like that can't be good for you but yeah, vague threats in the vague direction of r-truth

but now we're backstage, and an angry kurt has words for the miz those words basically being FUCKIN' QUIT IT he has enough trouble with big samoan guys named joe miz insults kurt, alludes to his indeterminate personal problems, you could chew the tension demands dean be suspended or fired, kurt retorts with a) shut the fuck up, and b) no maryse is apparently still angry at her husband kurt walks off, miz splutters, end thing cruiserweight time now, after this video to remind yiu just how good cedric alexander is, since he's been away for a while and here's noam dar arguing with his phone backstage cedric comes in to remind noam how done he is with him and his girlfriend's collective shit she is, of course, on the other end of the phone she's injured, but she wants her scottish sleazeball to beat cedric right the fuck up tonight cedric's like fuck, fine, whatever, i'll fight you tonight, but then can you please go bother literally anyone else

so yeah, now it's time for that match noam is still on his phone on speaker as he starts his entrance they're having a barely-audible argument and the phone's casting to the tron for some reason also, noam has a new jumper, and it's nowhere near as good alicia wants to be on the line through the match, noam does not want this the ref's like dude sort your shit out we've got a match to have finally puts it down in the corner, bell rings, lumbar check, end alicia is piiiiiiiiissed that's still an absolutely vicious finisher noam is trying to salvage this telepresence argument while also going oh holy fuck my spine hype no. 58 for the main event

but up next, bray wyatt...does a thing, i guess? he's certainly present and i'm ok with that but now a video package of roman, because god knows we haven't seen so much of him see, this package makes him look good, cos it's just the big spots and not all the slow-ass bullshit between them next week, roman has an announcement about summerslWYATT CUT bray fills the screen, tells us cheerfully that the world is ending does the i'm here thing, and now he is after a randy-based wyatt cut, for some reason did someone click the wrong file? corey calls bray 'bizarre', somewhere goldust is like wait a fucking minute bray's going to kill everyone who sins, sits in apathy while people sin, or blaspheme against him apparently seth lives in a house where his architect's blueprints cover the windows and block out the sun this may just be a parable, but it's a fucking great image oh, apparently bray shattered it because it was a glass house? did you mention this before, bray? bit of a shitty twist other wise m. night parablamyan and now seth will be picking splinters of glass out of his soul for eternity that's a fucking greek god level of ironic fate so yeah, anyone who takes the dark lord's name in vain will get fucked on speaking of, here comes seth to get fucked on/pick glass out of his soul i'd be good for either he's like wait a minute dude you cost me my match because i called you names that seems disproportionate but by the way, you suck seth claims he's here to pipe bomb some truth at us, calls bray a coward don't insult him, he has a backwards tractor bray takes the opportunity to give a sermon on pride, tells seth he, too, ain't shit like lol kingslayer ain't that cute *teleports backstage* bray claims he'll win because gods live forever think we need to read you some egyptian/norse myth there

but now, charly has the hardyz in the led interview backstage corridor whatever thing the hardyz would like you all to remember that they're awesome and that jeff has an unhealthy predilection for jumping off things but now, enjoy this montage of what cena's been up to and remember that he'll be back in an episode i am unlikely to blog

but now we have kalisto vs titus, through the medium of his younger, happier dude and akira tozawa is standing in the front row, because titus wants him on brand apollo beats on kalisto, titus stands by the barricade shouting at tozawa like DUDE LOOK AT MY BOY ISN'T HE GREAT tozawa is like please stop shouting at me kalisto goes for an excessively flippy handspring springboard stunner, apollo counters to a spinout powerbomb for the win titus drags tozawa into the ring for an uncomfortable selfie with them he's just like dude stop hugging me

but now, HARD CUT TO CLOSEUP OF RHYNO PUTTING CHEEZ WIZ ON CRACKERS we all needed that miz has come with a proposal for heath to become part of his entourage rhyno is like dude i'm standing right here miz promises to make all heath's dreams come true, heath's like well i've always wanted to be ic champ hmmmmm miz offers him a shot if he joins the dark side rhyno's like you know what fuck you dude i'm gonna go find kurt to give us a match against you maybe rustle up a friend we're out *aggressively eats crackers* so yeah

spot about that theme park competition thing, but now here's alexa our resident wrestlewoman with her shit together oh hey, a recap of last week's match so it did happen after all no, alexa, don't kick off by mentioning your match at extreme rules we're all trying to forget on saturday, we've got the first women's mitb match, but fuck that noise, tonight's about me but here's nia to take issue with the fact that alexa offered her a title shot, then whined about it and cheated out of it alexa's like i know right we should have had a great match but those two fucked everything up so here come those two mickie's redesigned her gear to play up the Native elements again chest dreamcatcher and everything mickie and dana try to remind everyone how much of a bitch alexa's been to nia in fornt of everyone alexa's like lol no i think your eyesight's going ah, cheap ageist jokes but now,...hit emma's music not that i'm gonna complain fucking love that music *beep boop beep boop* emma announces her dramatic return, demands a shot for the title alexa's just like um do you even go here and now here's sasha fuck it, everyone in the division in the segment that's how we do wrestling, right? so wait, are alexa and nia the only heels on the show? seems unbalanced sasha mocks alexa for literally everything she does, punches her in the face, cue brawl and hard cut to an advert for the episode of smackdown i'l be watching later back from ads, and we've got the 6-woman tag match we all saw coming so yeah, emma's still a heel, just one with a problem with the even heelier champ so yeah, emma's back, with weird shoulder things and boobface and everything although following a gear redesign, the boobface has gone from :) to :o it's great that she's back because she's great, but it does mean i have been once again demoted to the second coolest person to bear the name formulaic tag, sasha hot tags in to beat on emma, alexa decides to just walk off instead of letting emma tag out, bank statement for the tap this is not how you make friends

confirmed, later we have slater/rhyno vs miz/[NAME]

but next, corey talks to bayley about her utter lack of extreme after this advert for gold bond and MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY cole massively hypes it, then is like wait what the fuck am i saying that's the wrong brand smoothly done and now, have a package about how great finn is, and that is THE ONLY ORDER THOSE WORDS GO IN complete with lots of shots doing the arms and telling us how good he is

but yes, now we have corey/bayley just by his existence, corey must remind her how extreme she's not for the love of god, woman, get a tatt bayley's like hey i've never been in that situation before i'm a normal person i don't want to hurt people corey's like um have you ever wondered why you're in this business bayley does this whole motivational self-improvement thing which doesn't really work on its own cena does that, but with the understood subtext that if you get in the way of him being his best self, he will fuck your shit right up and bayley says her next thing is to get the belt back manageable steps slightly awkward hug, end interview so that was a thing

but now, here come A ONE MAN BAAAAAAAAAND (and his friend) rhyno should rebrand as a one man road crew miz and maryse arrive, wearing the mania jackets again, because all the best people read this blog (hey, mike) apparently he approached elias during the advert break, who said yeah fuck off dude so here comes his partner with music that sounds like the laughing fucking gnome of something and on a tricycle it's the bear although this bear is much taller and walks like dean ambrose corey christens him Big John Cubb crowd chant for a tag, miz is like i'm not a moron do you think i don't know who this is corey is just spamming us with spurious life facts about the bear because of his refusal to tag in a large mammal, rhyno is just fucking miz up all over the place cole makes a reference to the jbl and cole show, to reward dedicated weirdos bear tags himself in heath tries to take his mask off, bear punches him in the face good to know bears follow lucha tradition does a bearhug (naturally), heath nearly taps miz tags, then starts beating the piss out of the bear at ringside rips off the mask, revealing some dude, once again and rhyno spears miz into the netherworld throws him back into the ring, bear follows, heath tries to convince him to turn on his master, bear hits heath with dirty deeds, excessively long realisation beat, he unmasks and is in fact dean did...did we just get twin magicked by a bear? IT WAS ME ALL ALONG, MIZANIN! ahem dean goes for miz, he jumps and knocks maryse off the apron she hobbles off with a dark look dean stands there with a magnificent ooooooops look until miz turns around, when he hits him with dirty deeds and puts a still-unconscious heath on top of him for the pin slater and rhyno leave, dean puts the bear head on miz and walks off this just became strange this feels like it should be on one of those serial killer warning sign lists miz eventually rips it off, glares, end segment

hopefully we should have the main event next, if they want to give it the time it deserves oh, looks like we actually are huh was not expecting them to do the whole sensible booking thing recap video of the most beautifully-executed surprise return at mania and also this entire feud i'd forgotten how good their heel turn was, as well oh wait, never mind, neville's here phew if wwe started booking things in a sensible, organic way that gave things room to breathe, i wouldn't know what to do rich swann enters, does his usual dancing, gets punched in the back because neville's taken a bunch of levels in twat oh wait was that the neville level i get it beats swann all over the place, rings of saturn until he stops twitching demands his belt and a mic neville crouches by swann, recites a list of pretenders he's fucked on, kicks him out of his ring starts a monologue like it's good to be the king but will all you usurpers just fuck away off namechecks tozawa, hopefully kickstarting a feud that i am down for like you would not believe apparently titus tweeted that selfie and suggested tozawa might win the title the king is less than amused but now, charly interviews the kkb cesaro has a copy of the hardyz' autobiography so they can laugh and throw it away they keep getting more things on their jackets including they live OBEY patches, which is cool

and next, enzo/cass vs anderson/gallows seriously, you should really logically need more time for a two out of three match than a normal one this show has like half an hour left and we still have to see enzo do a thing or not, who knows with this angle douchebag joisey music hits, nobody is here cut backstage, cass is on the floor under some girders the revival walk past in the background, no reason cass says he went down with one blow to the head, emphasises how HARD they hit enzo doesn't want him to fight, but he insists but in the ring, gallows and anderson are here to trade secondary school burns and muttley laughs about enzo and cass hit twat music again, long beat, and here they are accompanied by a bunch of refs like seriously dude this is a terrible idea if only we had some power to stop this match happening alas, we are only lowly wrestling officials, all we can do is point and harangue corey calls enzo a trash fire masquerading as a human being, which i'm like 80% sure is a john oliver line? sort your material, dude cass beats on anderson through weaponised staggering, finally ags out enzo's 3am-behind-a-hollister style works for a bit, until anderson just kicks him in the head a bunch and tags gallows in cass is lying on the floor outside and magic killer for the pin turns out going into this match with a recent head injury was a terrible idea who knew they set him up for another magic killer, but here comes a big shooooooow to help at which point the heels run away and enzo and show awkwardly hug which is what cass comes around to see fuck daggers, he's glaring broadswords show leaves, cass comes up to his partner like the fuck dude, cut to ads

main event next, fucking finally

ok, no, we have to watch an r-truth reaction video first these have a solid frame rate at least, but that's come at the cost of things like 'colour film', and 'not having r-truth' truth quotes network, forgets to cite it, promises to get goldust got get got got get, end and now in the corridors, enzo comes up to show like dude, the clues all kind of point to you, so i have to ask show's like what the fuck you twat i...oh wait, it's your partner, what a twat calls cass sawft, walks off, end

but now we have a recap video of brock and joe from the start of the show why the fuck do we even need to see this just get to the main event already less than 20 minutes left this is not enough time for a properly-paced best of three match with build and everything oh, and now we get to see joe talking to mike mcmikemike backstage apparently this whole debacle has been exactly according to joe's plan this plan has never been clearly stated which is probably also exactly as planned we are all dancing on a large samoan's palm

but now, here come the hardyz fucking finally oh, and an advert break and that package for how great roman is again siiiiiiiiiiigh thing i didn't quite catch before this cut: is matt hardy wearing a fucking button-fronted short-sleeved shirt? that makes no sense for anyone whose gimmick doesn't include the words 'Caribbean', 'dipshit', or 'Caribbean dipshit' cut back, and now he's wearing no shirt ah well guess some things can just never be known and here are the kkb they've kept the jackets, but gone without shirts to maximise the orbital terawatt laser effect of their entrance bell rings, just over twelve minutes left in the show fucking hell, wwe trust your talent the teams clearly know time is against them - sheamus tries to open with a brogue, then immediately takes poetry in motion and a twist of fate for a nearfall and then sheamus basically just punches jeff in the face for the first fall? this match had so much potential sigh and now, let's cut away for an ad break and naom, gallows and anderson advertising pizza hut buy pizza from us, so twats can take it off you and back to the match recap of the first fall - jeff went for a twist of fate, sheamus countered, threw him into the corner, and did a slightly underwhelming kick to the face for the pin and now we have sheamus just kicking the shit out of jeff jeff mule kicks sheamus into a blind tag, matt hot tags in and starts mashing cesaro's head into all the turnbuckles does a delete, on the grounds that anthem probably don't give a shit, right? kicks sheamus off the apron, twist of fate on cesaro for the win i hope this narration is giving some sense of how perfunctory and artificially quick this is that's two falls in just under five minutes in a fucking championship match sheamus kicks jeff off the apron, kicks matt in the face, knees matt in the face, still can't get a pin turns out all my problems cannot, in fact, be solved by kicking jeff breaks up a pin, sheamus throws himout of the ring, cesaro goes for a neutraliser on matt, matt counters, cesaro counters that back into a sharpshooter, rope break nice sequence then matt goes for a small package, which kind of just seems like a dick move double hot tags, jeff does his usual spots, twist of fate to sheamus, cesaro breaks it just in time sheamus drops jeff on the ropes, cesaro uppercuts him, still no pin jeff bullfights sheamus into the ring post, hits a lovely swanton, cesaro pulls sheamus out of the ring just before 2 cue brawling at ringside aaaaaand double countout with which the cajundome is just so fucking satisfying brawl continues, because fuck you and your matches and your belts and we fade on the hardyz shouting from the ring while the kkb pose with their questionably-retained belts

so yeah that's it that's the show the fuck, guys? i mean obviously it was meant to be unsatisfying, and they're going to be doing it again, presumably at GBoF, but still you could still have done it without that shitty tease match but who knows maybe it'll be narratively significant

anyway, let's clean out that bad taste with some SATURDAY AFTERNOON SMACKDOWN! oh wait it's the setup show for a ppv roll on the shitty tease matches! setting up for mitb, so everything is ladders and tonight we have 6-man tag of the men's mitb contestants and randy and jinder 'face to face'

but now, the new day being played to the ring by their very own marching band, because we're in new orleans, so why the fuck not they could probably take shinsuke's violinist, but i'd watch it kofi opens by thanking the band even before doing their own introduction, which is good form the usos interrupt their gyrating to angrily enter and be thug at them and they can't even finish that before the fashion police turn up fandango claims to have compelling evidence hat their day one is not so h after all "If anything, your day one is...G." tell em tyler tyler gets to finish his sentence before the colóns enter to talk shit about breezango's policing skills (psst, guys) (they're not real detectives) so yeah, we're getting an 8-man tag match here although it's not immediately clear how the fashion police are allying themselves with three men wearing about 17 strings of beads between them the levelling for the announce mics is just fucked to hell tonight does smackdown even *have* a tech team, or is that how they run such a streamlined, modernised show? i do love that this push has given tyler and dango the opportunity to remind us how good they are at wrestling jbl, please stop making bead string jokes *brief shudder* xavier and tyler do a weird-ass combo move consisting of tyler doing a rana-style headscissors on xavier, then stopping at the top so xavier can throw him at primo followed by xavier joing the burgeoning dropkick to the back club the faces take everyone else out of the ring, stop for a brief trombone break and now we get to watch more american adverts i am officially tired of this shit i would much rather be watching this match than adverts about how cigarettes will fuck your mouth or this enormously fucked mountain dew advert and i can't even watch the tiny version in the corner i am very easily distracted oh thank fuck, we're back tyler's in trouble thanks to those dastardly usos jbl reminds us again how the usos are the greatest tag team in the world, and somewhere jason jordan is crying i mean, that's statistically likely at any given point, but still yeah, tyler's just getting the piss knocked out of him including a simultaneously dull yet impressive vertical suplex from epico comes back by throwing a bent-over epico at primo, then clotheslining primo so he ddts him nice, if making no sense whatsoever kofi tags in, kicks everyone, hits jimmy with a boom drop and trouble in paradise for the near-fall and tags in xavier for upupdowndown for the pin and taunt the usos as they retreat in failure

but later tonight, we have charlotte/nattie

but now, aj talks to shinsuke backstage and sami walks in like hey guys what do you want to do in this match asks for ideas, then talks over aj with his usual overthinky ring general thing does a they don't want none, goes for a high five, aj just stares, asks if shinsuke likes the plan, he just stares, sami answers himself and walks off to get warmed up long beat Shinsuke: "...I like him." AJ: "Of course you do." some lovely chemistry between those two which shoudl really surprise nobody

but now, dasha interviews mojo in some random corridor hey mojo, how did it feel to fail and not achieve your dreams last week? mojo is still wearing his watermelon hat magnanimous in defeat he's kind of happy he lost, because he responds to adversity with HYPE and we haven't seen the last of him and as he says this ZACK FUCKING RYDER appears the crowd are as stoked about this as i am he is officially back, and the hype bros are back together get the fuck in so yeah, this tag division's kind of huge

but now, here's naomi who we are reliably informed is amayayayayzing although the same cannot really be said of this new flourescent halter top she's got and she's fighting everybody's favourite leather-clad lunarian (shut up, i'll stop making that joke when and only when it stops being really fucking funny to me) bell hasn't even rung when the trash jazz begins just look at that woefully impractical dress and that super fucking awkward walk down the ramp we couldn't have brought her up through nxt and moved billie and peyton up to perform exactly the same purpose because... jbl explains the incomprehensible ascent of lana with leicester city, neglecting the fact that leicester had in fact played premiership football before that season anyway, tamina and naomi are just beating the hell out of each other tamina like i'll see your bouncy moves and leg lariats and counter by PUNCHING YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF YOUR BODY try punching her leg off of her leg i hear that works against people with legs i don't think i will ever not love that somersault facelock escape naomi does although it does kind of pose the question why she doesn't just commit to it and do a shiranui and split moonsault for the pin good match lana blindisdes the champion incredibly slowly, does a weird-ass glam slam type thing, then gets the belt off an official just by asking for it didn't know you could just do that and all jbl can say is how the belt matches her dress siiiiigh

but now, here are the singhs to introduce their boss he comes in wearing the sharpest fucking blue suit you will ever see next up in entrance music i like way more than i feel i should... the ring is sporting a fucking lovely carpet jinder briefly calls out randy, then goes straight in to calling him a coward and insulting his father maybe ramp the smacktalk up there? and now we're up to the 'promise to dismantle your enemy's legacy backward through history' step this curve feels like it's going to end up in actual bloodshed very soon starts his promo to his people/shouting at the crowd in punjabi, gets partway through, randy's music hits sends the singhs down the ramp to head him off, only for randy to run in out of the crowd and rko jinder on that lovely carpet and then he just fucks back off throught the crowd who love him for being a dickbag but somehow also a babyface dickface? yeah, let's go with that even if it wasn't in his hometown, they could not be setting this up for a 'shock' randy loss any more cue several seconds too long of randy posing and glowering in the stands

and now we have kevin coming into the locker room to brief baron and dolph who don't give the slightest shit what he has to say he's just like guys, i don't actually like either of you, but it's mutually beneficial to work together to take out the babyfaces rather than being dicks for the sake of it and shooting ourselves in the foot which...actually makes sense? dammit, kevin, stop bringing logic and game theory into my wrestling leaves to let them process this, cut to ads

up next, charlotte/nattie

but first, renee interviews randy backstage and he's just like have you even been listening talk less hit more i'm win the thing and leaves well, at least he's sticking to his epiphanies

but yes, now we have the women's match natties back to her old gear, and i'm not thrilled jbl just used the phrases "most likely" and "statistical certainty" right the fuck next to each other in a sentence dude, words mean things and you need to stop just saying whatever but yes, charlotte is here too, with new gear patterned off the terrible moulding on your grandparents' bathroom fittings shot of becky watching the match backstage pull up a fucking chair for once, someone

more wrestling in a minute, but first, YOU WATCH THIS ADVERT BREAK MOTHERFUCKER including an advert romanticising the fact that people need stimulant shots to participate in capitalist society see, this is what happens when you make me watch adverts whioe i'm freestyling i just end up veering into political/economic philosophy, and it's hard to come back from that oh thank god, we're back

we come back on natalya surfboard stretching charlotte like fuck you, i'm a real wrestler charlotte moonsaults nattie for a nearfall as we pan out to carmellsworth watching the match on a tv bigger than either of them again with fuck you i can wrestle, nattie powerbombs charlotte out of the corner for a nearfall (don't tell anyone, but this is actually a good match) naturally, as i say that, it turns into a series of cheap rollup attemtps, then natural selection for the pin but it made charlotte look desperate, which it's always nice to see side note: they've recoloured the GBoF logo so BALLS is the least eye-catching part

time for fashion files noir bitches dango opens with a gritty monologue about his terrible parents cut to him admirin his pecs in a mirror and cut to tyler, lying in the trashed fashion police office dango gets a description of their attackers "One arm....No, two arms!" dango sketches something, tyler confirms that it was them who attacked him dango hustles tyler off to get help, and we slow zoom on the pair of stick figures as the segment ends

but now, let's have an inspiration porn segment about a kid not dying of liver disease let's not get into my ranting about disability politics

moving on, dasha grabs lana backstage for an opinion lana's like i don't actually give a shit what any of you think byeeeeeeee

but now it's main event time opening with kevin's massive distorted face it's like neville and tjp selling their names for power, this is clearly a 'you can be champion if we can reveal how you look like hodor when viewed from below' situation and now here's baron, accomnpanied by a vt of him being a twat last week (but which instance? we may never know) dolph's entrance is mostly overridden by an advert for talking smack, which i won't be watching because jbl's on it sami and aj enter with less fanfare, but they still don't want none to leave time for the best music in the company but how will he enter tomorrow night the suspense whoever the tommaso ciampa-looking dude in the corner is, he is freaking the fuck out about being within reach of shinsuke cut for ads, during which the match apparently started and as we come back, i realise that i didn't fully appreciate the awfullness of those godawful cyan tights dolph iswearing only emphasised by putting him in the ring with shinsuke shinsuke counters dolph's elbow drop through his signature technique of 'being elsewhere', hot tags aj in, and he opens by basically hitting dolph with the bitter end and then an ushigoroshi, except we don't say that any more ooh, nice counter goes for a styles clash, dolph counters to a tornado ddt everyone else gets involved, cut for ads, and we come back on dolph/sami natursally, kevin immediately comes in as i type that sami counters kevin's senton with his knees, basically turning it into a self-inflicted lumbar check as often happens, this heel team seems much more concerned with shouting at everyone within range than having the match sami gets the shit beaten out of him by kevin, counters to a blue thunder bomb, can't quite flop fast enough to make the tag takes some more punishment, pulls out a big lariat and then bullfights all three heels out of the ring in succession sloooooowly flops to his corner, and just as he gets there dolph and kevin pull aj and shinsuke off the apron lovely bit of timing so sami just goes fuck it and helluva kicks baron for the pin maybe lead with that general fighting ensues and now kevin has a ladder he and dolph hit sami and aj with it "Unforgiving impact of that ladder on your flesh." byron's freestyling for his upcoming black metal album meanwhile, baron gets the ladder and fucks on everyone with it sets it up under the briefcase, climbs sloooooowly enough for shinsuke to push it over and somewhere, randy orton began to bleed kinshasa to baron, and shinsuke dramatically climbs the ladder himself and retrieves the most important business supplies in the world and we fade on him posing

so yeah, setup show, but that was pretty good and it looks like mitb should be good better than extreme rules, at any rate and certainly less of a misnomer unless it suddenly becomes clear that shane's accounts were frozen long ago and there was never actually any money but in any case i'll try and get this up tonight (Saturday), and then it's mitb tomorrow hmu on twitter @waruce if you want to see me struggle not to fall asleep and also to reconcile my excitement for MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY with the failings of late-stage capitalism (shit, it happened again)

anyway, that ends this week's show, but up next, it looks like it's gonna get a bit finnegans wake

[tumblunni]

Man its so weird to think back and see how many signs there were that I was transgender long before I realized it. I was SO fucking oblivious, I had no clue that being nonbinary was even an option, all I knew was 'well I don't wanna be the opposite gender but I don't wanna be the one I was assigned at birth'. (Except obviously I didn't even know the correct words to describe it) And like... I bought into A LOT of horrible transphobic bullshit, cos I was raised with a biased view of what being transgender even is. 'Trans-sexual people are turned on by wearing women's clothes'. Ugh. And I was completely disgusted by it, since I'm a sex repulsed asexual and everything about foreplay or whatever disgusts me. My parents and pop culture and stuff all treated it like trans people were the equivelant of someone into BDSM wearing nipple clamps out in public or something. 'Well in theory I have nothing against them having that kink, but why do they have to show it in public?' Being trans was ALWAYS only shown as 'oo kinky I like to crossdress in the bedroom', as if it was a fucking sexuality, as if there was NO OTHER REASON why someone would wanna wear the 'wrong' clothes and use the 'wrong' pronouns. I felt viscerally disgusted at myself whenever I didn't want to wear my birth gender's cliche outfits, I denied absolutely everything cos I didn't want people to think I was a pervert. I didn't even know it was POSSIBLE to be transgender and asexual, or even that being transgender wasn't the same as being gay! I said SO MUCH fucking horrible transphobic and homophobic stuff as a kid, just parroting what I was told, and overcompensating for hating myself by making it clear I hated everyone remotely similar to me. While being in huge denial that they were similar to me! And I'm gonna carry these regrets forever and always worry that I stopped someone else from feeling comfortable about theirself and just... GAHH! And I did all the same too about parroting stereotypes of 'crazy people' and 'r*tards' before I learned that this big ol stereotype about autism was bullshit and real autistic people look EXACTLY LIKE MYSELF It just makes me think a lot about how many other people out there might be trans and not have the ability to find out because they've been buried so utterly in this false, bigoted image of what a trans person actually is. Tho also I hate the dumb stereotype that 'all homophobes are secretly gay', like seriously wtf why u wanna escape all responsibility for your actions and say the only problem is gay people systemically oppressing THEMSELVES... ANYWAY I went off on a sad train of thought there but back to the point! I'm just remembering this one part of a school trip that was like one of my most treasured memories for no logical reason until I realised I was trans. I met a new classmate and he mistook me for the opposite gender, and I was like 'HOLY SHIT WHY AM I HAPPY' until someone else 'corrected' him. I mean.. I knew I wasn't that gender either, but it felt like a weight off my shoulders to at least be misgendered the opposite way for once. I felt inexplicably happy that I was looking ambiguous enough to even be in question! And this was when I was like 11, I had no clue what word to even assign to these feelings... And I mean, it was SO DUMB that I never noticed these signs! This is what internalized transphobia does to you! Like 'hey there's probably no reason at all why I always play as a different gender ever time I buy a pokemon game, and get this self hatey feeling in my gut when both options have very stereotypically gendered costumes'. And 'wow there sure is no reason why I got inexplicably attached to this genderless character and can't stop thinking about ways to prove they aren't real'. Seriously all that debate about 'quina is really a girl/boy' with weird evidence in stat builds and equip items and stuff! I got REALLY into that transphobic bullshit cos it was something that shook up my perception of the world and I felt like if not being either gender was ACTUALLY AN OPTION then id have to address painful things about myself. If I knew I could be that, I couldn't keep lying to myself. So I went in aggressive denial mode and missed this chance to come out of the closet at like 9 years old and save myself a damn lot of trouble! And then I just went through the same bullshit at 14 with Chrona from Soul Eater, and could not explain why on earth I was so upset that the English dub assigned them a random gender instead of translating it properly... And OH MAN how fucking dysphoric I was about puberty even before I knew that dysphoria was a thing! It was like 'hey look you're growing up!' 'NO IM NOT DEAR GOD NEVER SAY THAT AGAIN'. And that led to this stupid thing of me just saying 'well I have the mental age of a seven year old LOL' to excuse whenever I acted 'weird'. My forum avatar and stuff was a doodle of myself in chibi form, etc. (Even literally wearing chest binding... I only knee at the time that it was 'a martial arts thing' tho.) Like, I'd got all these messages that not wanting sex was 'childish' and not wanting my body to change was obviously 'immature', and when I was undiagnosed with mental illness and trying yo make up excuses for how I TOTALKY didn't have a mental illness, all I could say was 'ha ha I'm totally uhh... Doing it on purpose? Cos I'm so... Quirky?' I got obsessed with overacting as a class clown, cos I mean you can also excuse cross dressing as a thing that 'the comic relief character' does... And OH MAN, like my big Special Interest throughout all of high school was Norse myth, more specifically Loki. I was FASCINATED with the idea of a shape shifter who could be either gender, and was completely unashamed about it. And, of course, I used to play it off as 'ha ha isn't it so funny he turned into a girl', when I seriously did not have any clue WHY it was funny, I just thought I had to say it. It HAD to be the reason I was so sympathetic yo this character, right? Because he's A FUNNY JOKE?? And man then I got so obsessed with researching non gendered English pronouns from the 18th century and championing how they should totally come back into modern language and EVEN THEN I was in denial! It took until I played Magical Diary to realise 'well fuck I'm trans'. It took a game outright saying that these genderless pronouns arent just 'to be inclusive of both genders' but can be used for A THIRD GENDER, A GENDERLESS GENDER, A BOTH AND/OR NEITHER GENDER!! A game saying that this gender does exist in human beings, and EVEN THEN I took ages to be sure that it was really real and not just a fantasy thing that the game made up. I mean, quina was totally only genderless cos they're a magical creature, right? (Completely ignoring the fact that the other two members of that magical creature town are both male...) And just.... AAAAAAA I feel like I'm the human personification of that 'no Patrick, put it on the lid' meme No, you're trans. No, TRANS. Trans, bunni! TRANS!! This is what societal prejudices do to people. Even LGBTQ people usually grow up within homophobic, transphobic society, absorbing all the same messages. It destroys our ability to be okay with being ourselves... Its so fucking sad that this happened to me, and it hurts even more to think of all the times I said insensitive offensive stuff to other LGBTQ people back when I thought I was cis and straight... Gahhhh... ALSO, it makes me extra sad that Summon Night: Swordcraft Story 2 never got released in Europe. There's a character there called Arno who's NB and very out about it, and the English translators didn't make a mess of it, or anything. People actually call Arno 'they', and literally their catchphrase is 'Are you a boy or a girl?' 'I'm just a child of the wind~' Like seriously NO ambiguity, character actually getting to dish out sick burns when being misgendered, absolutely NO room for the ol 'well they just don't MENTION a gender, it doesn't mean they were intended to be nonbinary' excuse. Arno outright stating 'I am not a boy, and I an not a girl'. And your protagonist respecting it! Arno is still my absolute fave best handled nonbinary character in all of games. And the summon night series is very inclusive with a lot of gay romance options! Its a shame tho that the only other game with a nonbinary character was never dubbed even in america. But apparently the protags of previous games get a cameo in the upcoming Summon Night 6 which finally will be released in Europe! I just hope they handle Corlal's pronouns respectfully, considering how they managed to do it so well a decade ago with Arno. But then again the Swordcraft Story series is a spinoff so the main games might have different translators? Anyway, let me hug my tiny enby dragon child! Also I'm sad the cellphone app trading card game never got dubbed either, cos Corlal got some cute cards for the valentine's day event. All three dragon kids just got adorable scenes making platonic family chocolate for their siblings cos they're too young to really participate. And they thankfully got super cute totally non-lolicon maid and butler outfits like SERIOUSLY THANK GOD FOR THAT! Just cute ten year olds playing dressup like normal kids. Corlal got two cards for that one! Them being nonbinary continues to be 100% canon, they got a version with both a dress and a tuxedo. AND ITS SO FUCKING CUTE MY GOD ...man I'm sorry this just went off topic into how great that series is But anyway! If I've ever said anything that offends you, please message me about it! I'm still unlearning a lot of internalized prejudice. Also if you want a quality nonbinary werewolf in a cool side scrolling GBA jrpg, look for Arno! Im on mobile rite now so I can't send links n stuff, but as soon as I finish moving my PC desk to the other room I shall spam you all with my obscure fandom's!!!