#If I can figure out how to put a readmore on this I will Im so fucking sorry

[pickledzack]

im curious abt ur rufuszack dynamic! how did they get together, how do they act together, etc?

GOD... I'm gonna apologize in advance for the wall of text I'm about to unleash. The TLDR of it is it's ship born purely out of my bf and I smushing blorbos together like barbie dolls tbh. We thought less of the "how" early on and moreso fell in love with the dynamic in general, resulting in us thinking of many AUs where they would meet. They are both such true polar opposites of each other on every front that I think it presents a funny dynamic. That dynamic being a silver spoon-fed nepotism baby who clings so desperately to the image that he has so carefully constructed and a blindly optimistic country boy who would want to tear it all down by challenging him at every front in an effort to understand why he is the way that he is. A true immovable object meets an unstoppable force type energy.

MORE under the cut if you're curious tehe-

Each AU we thought of hinged on the hilarity of Zack just flat out not knowing much about Rufus at all. And Rufus enjoying that anonymity way too much. To which we kind of realized its quite possible (mostly funny) that Zack probably wouldn't be able to pick Rufus out of a crowd even in canon. And if Zack did know anything about Rufus it would probably just simply be the knowledge that he's President Shinra's son. Everything about Rufus is probably still shrouded in mystery when Rufus is pretty much under house arrest during the events of Crisis Core, so we kind of just went with that. And thus came a kind of "Zack Lives but is saved by the Turks" AU where we could explore this concept properly in an environment where they're forced to be in proximity for a decent length of time. (I wont. Dive into that right now LOL)

What comes from a nepotism baby who has only ever had the opportunity to shape his identity around his place in a company founded by a man he comes to hate most? What happens to him when presented with an ex-SOLDIER whose life was totally uprooted by that same man? Rufus at least acknowledging at first that Zack is somebody whose entire life was at the mercy of that very same company and yet still somehow never lets that curb his optimism. Where as he, himself, has allowed his hatred of his father to dominate everything that he does. Even in Rufus' defiance, he ultimately still centers his father in his life in his pursuit to slight him. What happens when Zack presents him with an opportunity to be his own person? I think at the beginning, Rufus would try to put on a professional front, but ultimately Zack would worm his way in somehow in his own little Zack way. I think Rufus would enjoy that freedom way too much. And out of a developed care for Zack, would come to question his very core beliefs all together. But even after we do have Zack eventually find out who Rufus is, he doesn't care at all about his status as the President's son. He's disrespectful, he pisses him off on purpose, he teases him in the most petty ways, he doesn't honor Rufus' title at all which is a stark contrast to how literally everybody else in Rufus' life treats him. Even when Zack hates Rufus' guts and everything he represents, his means of doing so intrigues Rufus more than it probably should. Because of course Zack doesn't leave it to simply hating Rufus. Of course Zack would rub salt in the wound and try to annoy Rufus at every opportunity. But he would also want to know about Rufus and he'd want to ask him why. Not just that, but he wouldn't be satisfied until Rufus is able to convince him why he has to be the way he is. And even without necessarily forgiving Rufus for anything, Zack would still see the person underneath that so he can try to reach out to him.

Even through the spit and vinegar that Zack spews at him it is, in a way, a sort of kindness that Rufus has never been shown before. Because Zack, like with Genesis, Angeal, and even Sephiroth, could still never come to view either of them as monsters. Even when they were doing unspeakable things to the people he loves and the world around him. His methods of trying to help them was to reach in and speak to the person underneath all that. Even if it was ultimately kind of fruitless. I think its an effort that I believe could actually potentially shake Rufus' worldview. Um. So yea KGKSDF I feel a little crazy and I hope this wasn't too chaotic of a read but it's been a lot of fun to explore. Thanks for giving me that opportunity!

[creaturefeaster]

Hi... Great job on colorquest but... Im having trouble keeping up with the formatting... I haven't really been able to read it... But maybe that's just my dyslexic ass.

Hi-- thank you, first off!

But hmm, I wonder how this could be mitigated. Would alternating colors per line help alleviate dyslexia?

If you (or anyone else who is dyslexic) have any suggestions on how I could improve the dialogue layout, I'd like to hear them.

I'd like my story to be as accessible as possible.

[kineticallyanywhere]

Tell us more about Doodler Normal Kinetic i beg of you

First thing to note: Doodler Boss Normal would not survive contact with Canon Normal

Cause the thing with this version of Normal, I think, is that the situation to create it is so specific; and in a way that I've never thought about before, for a narrative? I'm sure it exists somewhere, because what story framework doesn't already exist somewhere but like.

this version of Normal only happens in a world where all 4 anchors are broken with violence and not a single other person is questioning that decision by the end. (which I don't think is going to happen! for the record!) in this world, Normal presents himself as a last bastion of empathy, but where in any other story that would look like a shining knight with their Chosen One sword and shield and righteous strength, in this story it looks like a kid ready to turn into an eldritch monster because the eldritch monster is the only other creature he can find that makes any sense to him. a character who, written in words, is a paragon hero who's virtues refuse to crumble. but because of the Ao3 CSS skin of the world he's in, he gets all the style and flair and trappings of a villain.

(which, again, I don't have reason at the time of this writing to think that this situation would happen; that there isn't going to be at least one other person on Normal's side. It's all but impossible to predict any of these kids and I think they all have good hearts, even Scary. Link right now is an unsettled weather vane in a storm, Taylor for all his swagger doesn't seem on the side of brutality, and then like... Hermie???)

that said! In a world where sometimes you can't decide if you want to sit in your disappointment or scream at the top of your lungs, there's falling back on your new frienemy-of-the-family monster bro

(anyone with a writing bug and time, feel free to use any, all, or none of these ^^)

for thoughts on where this AU would end up, anyone can obviously take it anywhere but I know the version I would make would have a happy ending (I am allergic to writing tragedies, sue me). I guess it would be a story where finally snapping and letting out some Oak Anger and not apologizing (because while it's not okay to be cruel it is okay to be angry) is what gets characters to come to terms with each other and better understand each other and meet each other in the middle and even come to terms with themselves and what version of expressing themselves makes them happy and comfortable and best able to love themselves and the people around them.

all of that admittedly wrapped in a gift box with the catharsis of a character saying "I'm not okay with how you're treating me" in a very badass fashion, as we all wish to do one day.

also for those of us who would die for Scary but also want to take her by the shoulders and shake vigorously there's the Rule of 3s for swiping the Goth Crown from Scary a THIRD TIME

all of her put-on apathy and tiredness and lashing out but from a genuine place, simultaneously forcing her in front of a mirror and asking her to reach back for the part of herself that started the day of the debate "bright eye-ed and bushy tailed" so that she could even stand a chance at getting through to Normal??? The ways to talk about Scary skyrocket even higher. to be clear, I don't want this as a form of stealing Scary's narrative, I want it as a way of taking Scary's narrative and hitting the NOS. give her just about everything she wants, for everyone to agree with her and listen to her and think she's right and enforce the belief that she has any power over what's going on and then see if she even likes it. See if she likes herself and see how far she's willing to take the identity of goth punk seeker of darkness. ask her where the line is. show her the road she she's taking and ask her where the line is. canon parallels and connections between normal and scary are a whole other post I can have and will drive to work in the morning writing the meta in my head, the way Normal is a previous version of Scary cranked up to 11 and the way Scary makes herself into a person that Normal has every right to be but isn't becausehe'shumanandflawedbutsogoodatheartandnevergivesuponothersnotevenherandAUGH

[mochayoubi]

hello!! how are you? i'm reaching out to you because you're the one i keep seeing my dashboard that's related to japanese learning.

i wanted to ask: how do you suggest a beginner should start studying? like, they're N5, and they know hiragana and katakana, but do not know how to move forward from there because it scares them? (it's me, btw, hi hello how are you how are the kids)

thank you so much!! have a good day!!

omg hi!!! im doing ok (im sick rn but it's fine lol) thanks sm for the ask! :3

i think the best thing you can do for yourself is follow your curiosity! at the early stages of learning curiosity will take you much farther than trying to set hard deadlines for yourself - especially when it sounds like moving forward is a bit intimidating at the moment.

so, i'm going to list out things that might be worth checking out. it takes a while for people to figure out what works for them, and since you mentioned you already know hiragana/katakana you're primed to get out there and really explore your options! embrace the feeling of possibility rather than the fear of the unknown :D i say this bc if you get too caught up in making the "right" choice it might just make learning too stressful to want to continue

anyway here's some things that beginners commonly go for when continuing with japanese learning (under the readmore)

find a textbook and work through it there's a bunch out there, I know Genki I is probably the most well-known, but i'm also familiar with Tobira I, Yookoso, and Minna no Nihongo. textbooks are nice because they're literally designed for learners and offer structure to what order you learn kanji, grammar, etc. and come with lots of practice questions. the difficult part is self-teaching through them since they tend to assume youre also using it with a teacher who can correct you and give advice. however they're still pretty good as references imo! if you google "[textbook name] pdf" they're pretty likely to come up

find an app you can use daily there are also a lot of these, and many of them are designed to be used daily so you can better enforce the habit of studying japanese every day. these tend to be simpler and gamefied to make it more appealing and easier to pick up as well. i would just stay away from duolingo as i've heard their japanese curriculum is bad. some other ones i've heard are helpful are Renshuu and Human Japanese.

find an online guide and follow it by "online guide" i mean websites people have compiled of their own guides to learning japanese, such as Tae Kim. these are more accessible and unlike textbooks tend to assume that you are self-studying, so it's easier to follow independently, but usually don't have any practice questions or ways to test yourself. still good as a reference. you can also check out this website that specifies their philosophy on what makes effective japanese learning and what steps to take as a beginner (imo it's very. long. and winds on for a while. but people have said it helps!)

download and use anki anki is an app (both phone and pc) that uses flashcards and that many learners use to retain vocab. their site has decks other people have created, and you can find decks of "core vocab" for example which has flashcards of common japanese vocab. you can also create your own flashcards of words you encounter in the wild to help practice them even after you've read it. i think anki is super useful, but i would probably suggest using it once you have more of a grasp on basic japanese concepts or else you'll just be rote-memorizing things that don't make sense to you yet. but i'm putting it here in case this appeals to you!

take a class or find an online tutor now this one will most likely cost you money, but it offers the most structure and guidance possible which can be extremely helpful starting out since you're able to ask questions and get feedback. you can look into nearby universities who might offer japanese classes, or you can try one of the many language-learning tutor websites out there. i've had some decent success with italki, and there's also JOI (japanese online institute) that i've heard is very helpful too.

watch japanese-learning videos these can be nice bc you can actually hear the japanese and how it's supposed to sound, and it's typically lower effort and easier to get into than actively starting a textbook or class. miku real japanese, japarrot, and 日本語の森 are channels i've watched before and like, but there's plenty others out there too. i'd just steer away from clickbait-y looking ones like "i learned japanese in 30 days and here's how!!" since they tend to not be that helpful.

read simple stories in japanese reading in japanese tends to be the most intimidating step for people, but there's sites that have stories made for beginners that are easy to follow and only use hiragana/katakana. my go-to for my students is usually tadoku since the stories are short, organized by level, and very beginner friendly. a while ago someone showed me natively which lets you look up japanese books, also by level. if you want some good beginner manga, yotsuba and teasing master takagi-san are what i've recommended before

misc. things you can try!

watch anime but intentionally - try to actively listen and pick up on words they say. a long time ago i used animelon, which puts japanese subtitles that you can adjust to show hiragana only

look up jlpt n5/n4 specific materials. they're geared for an exam so it might not be the most natural feeling, but they do tend to be convenient for lists of vocab and grammar. this website has some helpful resources for that

add an extension on your browser that will let you hover over japanese words and see its definition. i use firefox and have 10ten reader to do this, but rikaikun and yomichan are also similar extensions

when you learn the japanese word for something in your house, put a sticky note on it that has the japanse word. like, for "table" you can put a note on it that says 「テーブル」. i heard this can help with retention (i haven't done it myself tbf)

EDIT: ohh i can't believe i forgot this. but join a japanese-learning community! there's discord servers out there, and if you have a friend willing to study with you you can ask them to be your accountability buddy.

anyway, i know that was a lot but i hope that gives you some direction on where you'd like to go next in your japanese learning journey! ^_^ and again, absolutely no pressure to do all of these. the most important thing is letting curiosity be your guide and fostering a positive relationship with learning japanese rather than being afraid. if i can help out some more lmk!!

[lovinggreeniehours]

um. hi :) i have all the concept art. also i rambled very long about the outfits so i tossed it under the readmore

i was supposed to post this yesterday but my wifi died

punches lucifer for making his outfit so hard to design

this is very. concept art so i want to explain like every single unclear thing i can think of in the design choices i made here

them getting to wear their colors 99% out in the open but still have little elements of each other's color here and there >>>>>>>

lucifer's horns and feathers may or may not be tip-dyed. with the gold and red. yes that took forever (thank you asmodeus ^^)

originally lucifer's overcoat-thing wasn't there but. i realized it looks a little reminiscent of his regular demon form (+ his casual outfit's fur) which i thought was very :) so i added it

i tried to put in softer textures i headcanon he likes on his clothes (the fur, velvet lining under the overcoat and his gloves, and etc). he's got a very standard taste in formal clothing which made him hard to design in the first place 😒 so there wasn't much in the design to play with, per se, since his actual main goal is to look presentable. but i think it's important that mr "skin crawling everyday from the amount of eyes glued to him and the pressure weighing on his shoulders" gets to feel comfortable at his own wedding

it's a somewhat similar for takahara's design here reflecting his regular outfits: with the red garment covering his head and face being similar to his old hoodie, while also being more flowy which is like the scarf he wears more often now

takahara's outfit here is probably one of my all-time favorites of his (and i like that for him 🫶 go me) because it was a fun play on ideas like "sacrificial bride; long veil and covered in treasure" vs "mysterious god; covered eyes and strange halo" it also reflects the conflict of image of takahara under the scrutiny of the devildom's public eye. it's been a little messy since coming back (and turning nonhuman) so i wanted to poke at it hgshhfsf

the crown alone makes me want to kick my feet hgsdjddh reference to religious statues (especially catholic ones) and how they depict their holy figures' halos

takahara just getting to embrace that he is a god now without having to hold back is FUN. im HAPPY for him (because he is a god! his followers hi mika <3 are at the wedding lmao)

it's a little unclear but they have matching necklaces. takahara gifted them to lucifer the night before the wedding. it's hard to depict with 2.0 lines on ibispaint but they're meant to look like stars. there's a tiny magic flame in the middle that makes the shape of the star move irregularly, so it's not really in perfect symmetrical shape all the time

it may or may not be a little more clear but hehe the little gold design on the top of their shirts hehe it's occurred to me that i never revealed to most people what their pact mark looks like but. it looks like that

idk if anyone saw the dark funeral-esque venue but HFSGHSH 😭 or how ive been asking people if i can give them black outfits which i have the drafts of. by the way. im just unsure ill be able to finalize all of them but see that's all lucifer's fault after he was put in charge of the aesthetic and decorating

his intention was really to throw all the spotlight on takahara hfshgsgj to get him to be remembered properly (re takahara's curse of being forgotten) and also it's a little funny. everything is black and blue, which are assumed to be more of lucifer's colors, so it's really perceived as just his wedding, until you get there, and takahara's bright red gets to steal all the visual attention and hshshshdh idk i think it's cool. sue me

[partyhorn]

Have u ever posted your comic or animation workflow anywhere? Im super curious on how you tackle the process, especially not using a drawing tablet. I know you have a very simple (and adorable) style so that probably helps in terms of workflow -- Im just curious about the steps you take.

Thank you! With both comics and animation my key thing is to not spend too much time on any particular thing, just draw loose and fast. Honestly the only downside to drawing with a mouse is that I can tell my arm has extremely specific muscle memory regarding it- if my mouse breaks and I get a new one I have to spend a good month or so just letting my hand get used to it again lol. Same with if my setup gets readjusted too much- right now my setup is my mouse on one of those padded mousepads, on top of 2 books, with my elbow resting on my 3DS case (I'll get an actual pillow or something for it eventually lol). But luckily thanks to this I suffer very minimal wrist pain 👍

(...Okay I started to go really in depth in my process here, so sorry if this is way more than what you were asking. Putting it under a readmore just to save space lol)

With MFM in particular, I start by writing out the entire script for the next story arc, which really is just all of the dialogue and vague notes about any important actions. Then I do the paneling with very loose stick-figure like sketches of where the characters are and what they're doing. I prefer having very little planning when it comes to character poses and panel shapes, coming up with those on the fly makes things much more exciting and faster to make. But it's the opposite with dialogue... it needs to be 100% FINAL before I draw a single line lol.

That's part of my script for my most recent chapter, as well as what my extremely loose goofy thumbnail sketching is like. I write the script as one big thing and don't separate it into pages until I actually start drawing- then I go and color change it just to keep track of what dialogue goes on each page

After that, I go back and do the ACTUAL sketch, as well as the lettering (I don't believe this is how it's done professionally. I used to do lettering as the very last step in the process... but then found it hard to cram speech bubbles in the right places lmao.) After that is lineart, coloring, background flat colors, then shading/rendering for all of it. I do each step in batches, as in I sketch out ALL pages of a chapter before moving to lineart, I line ALL pages before starting coloring, etc. I find it way easier to be productive when it's broken up like that, though when I first started the comic I used to draw each page to completion before starting the next (but also, the comic's style was DRASTICALLY simpler back then haha)

(Unfortunately I merged some of the shading to the background flat colors so it's not entirely accurate... oops) FireAlpaca has a sand texture feature that I only found out about last year- adding that to the backgrounds makes them look 10x better with WAY less effort.

With animation, it depends on the project. For simple 5-10 second animation I make for fun, there's very little planning lol. I skip some steps in the process- I'll sketch out the keyframes (and maybe any difficult inbetweens if necessary), line those, then go straight into making linework inbetweens. I'm not a cleanup artist and have no experience in that, so I always find trying to line my rough animation makes everything jittery and wobbly. If I do it with a clean line from the start then I can avoid that and save a lot of time 👍

For my bigger projects (such as the Parvey cartoon and the MFM Kickstarter trailer), I do the whole animatic with final audio first and foremost, with the animatic being almost like the keyframes. I split them up into individual shots, .mp4 files anywhere between 1-30 seconds usually, and animate those one at a time. I'm a huge fan of free to use programs and try to use them as much as I possibly can, here's a list of the ones I use:

FireAlpaca- for the actual drawing part itself (storyboarding/animating/etc). FireAlpaca has a feature that lets you export every frame as it's own drawing, as well as an onion skin mode

Windows Movie Maker- for compiling all of those frames into video format, creating individual shots. If you upload all of your frames and set them to around 0.08 seconds, it equals about 12fps (I usually animate at 0.10 seconds/10fps, its a bit slower but looks nice)

Onlinesequencer.net- for making music. It's the place I've made all of my songs on, like the timeloop song, hyperworkaholic, and the background music for the MFM Kickstarter trailer.

Audacity- for editing audio/music. Also great for recording things directly from your desktop

DaVinci Resolve- for editing and putting together all of the shots into one big video. Can get kind of intensive on the computer during rendering, so watch out.

YouCut (app)- also for editing and compiling shots, I used this one a lot a couple years back but I'm not sure how well it holds up. Doesn't need much phone storage to download but needs a lot to render videos.

MS Paint (yes really)- for typing up text. FireAlpaca has a text option but I don't like it as much as Paint's.

...The only thing I genuinely can't do alone is voice acting. Luckily there's a big voice acting community on Twitter and they're all amazing to work with!

This got... way more in depth than I planned for it to be, so sorry if this is way more than what you were asking lol. But that's my general process when it comes to my art 👍

[blessedarethebinarybreakers]

i could be wrong about this (i've been following this blog so long i wouldn't be surprised if im confused lol) but you changed/shifted denominations, right? im catholic, born catholic, but i struggle with what much of the church preaches/supports, and the catholic communities i grew up in are not a great place for queer people. so im looking at other affirming churches where i live, which are mostly united. they all seem great, but i find that im struggling with all the ways they aren't catholic. i find it uncomfortable that there isn't a priest (and find it uncomfortable that i find it uncomfortable), i miss the hymns from my old church, and receiving the eurcharist every sunday, and all the other little rituals i can recite on rote (which i like!). and then i suppose i feel strange for taking space in this church that isn't my own, just because it's more 'convenient', since i dont have much intention to abandon the parts of catholicism i want to keep (like mary and the saints). im not sure whether i should just suck it up and shift denominations entirely, or retain my (kind of shaky, ill admit i reject a fair amount of catholic teachings) catholic beliefs. and even then, im also not sure how to make myself more comfortable with attending a church without the rituals and mass im used to - even though i really really want to attend church again. sorry for blabbing on, but... any advice?

Hey there anon, so sorry for the very long delay; I hope you're doing all right. I was indeed born and raised Catholic, and still deeply love so much about Catholic tradition; I know how hard this decision is — whether to stay or go, whether to keep one foot in and one foot out, etc...

(Oh, one thing I want to mention right away is that you don't need to worry about "taking space" in a church you're not part of yet. Churches are meant to make room for visitors! There is plenty of room for you, and if a church makes you feel otherwise somehow, that's on them. Just bringing that up here because the rest of this long response goes in a different direction lol.)

Ultimately, you're the only one who can decide the right path for you. The good news is that you have as long as you need to figure it out! You might lean in one direction for a while and later realize you need to shift a bit; you don't have to do it all at once.

I can share a bit about my own journey to help you imagine a bit better what it even looks like to walk this path; your path may end up looking similar, or very different from mine. Putting the rest under a readmore because it's so long lol.

I was super devout Catholic all my life, into college. Then going into sophomore year of college I started figuring out I was queer — plus I was encountering more and more kinds of people than I'd ever met before, and questions about where they "fit" into Catholic doctrine and the like.

Sophomore year I started crushing on my then-roommate, now-wife, and exploring my gender a bit more, and I started getting extremely anxious each Sunday at Mass. I couldn't stop wondering what people in the pews with me would think, what they'd do if they knew. That spring semester and then into the fall, I started going to Mass less and less frequently and eventually not at all.

Meanwhile my roomie was going through similar issues with feeling way too alienated from her conservative church to keep attending. So together, we found an LGBT-affirming church near campus and walked there one Sunday. The relief we felt walking in there, seeing other queer people and couples; the warmth and welcome, the chance to hold hands in public for the first time; getting to share communion, which was a big warm loaf of bread, with folks who knew what we were and loved us in, not despite it...was like nothing I'd ever experienced.

We kept going there the rest of the school year. That summer, back in my hometown, I kept going to my childhood church for Catholic Mass. I really loved the affirming church we'd found, but like you I missed so many things that Catholic church has and they just don't: there's a higher sense of reverence at Mass; the singing resonates through my psyche; I weirdly feel Christ more strongly in the little wafer host than in that warm loaf, though the latter made me feel more spiritually connected to the humans around me...

I wanted both. I wanted to keep my relationship with my Saints. I wanted Mary and the rosary. I wanted the high reverence. And I wanted the warmth and connection I found at our new church. I wanted the laughter as children dunked their big chunk of loaf into the chalice, getting crumbs everywhere, even if it made my Catholic sensibilities cringe a little (I write about the "culture shock," getting more accustomed to those eucharistic differences here). I wanted to be surrounded with this much more diverse group of people.

So for years, even as I graduated undergrad and started my studies at a Presbyterian seminary, I've tightrope walked between Catholicism and Protestantism. I took every chance I got in my classes to write my papers (or a whole website) about queer-resonant Saints, or to bring up a book of the Bible that Catholics have but Protestants don't, or to teach classmates what it means that Catholics venerate but don't worship Mary. I went to a Presbyterian church most Sundays, but to Catholic Mass on holy days like Good Friday.

Keeping one foot in the Catholic Church — going to Mass a few times a year, cultivating my relationships with Saints privately, writing lots of poems about everything I was feeling (like this one and this one) — while spending most of my time and building up community within the PC(USA) was what worked for me for many years. Sometimes it would get frustrating; often when visiting a Catholic church I'd feel that anxiety wonder what would happen if someone there called me out for being queer. Often I'd feel alienated, lonely, wishing I could bring my whole self into one place if that makes sense; but I made it work.

Then things took a painful turn late last May — content warning for religious trauma & transphobia from a Catholic priest. I was visiting home, and that meant dropping by my childhood church for Mass. When the priest I've known almost my whole life, who gave me my first communion and Confirmed me, got halfway through his homily, it suddenly turned into transphobic condemnation. I felt like the floor had dropped out from under me. I decided to speak up; I interrupted Mass to assert that queer people are beloved by God; I was escorted out of my childhood church. It was really, really painful; it still really hurts.

I haven't visited a Catholic church since then. And it breaks my heart I'll never feel safe about going back to my childhood church again :'(

I bring up this traumatic moment not to scare you away from keeping some part of you in the Catholic Church — so many of us do remain partially or all the way in it despite its failures. Hopefully you'll never encounter something this overtly queerphobic. But I bring it up to say that if you stay in the Catholic Church, you probably will encounter things over the years — hopefully small, maybe big — that bring you pain. Little ways comments chip at your sense of worth and dignity; new documents from the Vatican that speak against queerness.

But honestly, you'll probably encounter a little hurt wherever you go. No church, no community at all, is perfect. People say and do thoughtless things. You'll probably experience less of that in an LGBT affirming church, but wherever you go, you'll need to gradually amass spiritual shields — connection to the divine, to other people, places you go for refuge.

I haven't returned to a Catholic church since that incident — but I have made relationships I wouldn't have made otherwise. Various people who attended my childhood church's grade school reached out to me to thank me for my courage; one of them even wrote an article about what I did and what she and her friends experienced as students there. Someone from my home state's branch of Dignity USA reached out to me.

I've sort of "officially" let myself sever that last thread connecting me to anything Roman Catholic, to the institution; but I hold on to the elements of Catholic tradition that bring me spiritual nourishment. They can pry Mary and the Saints from my cold dead hands (no actually! not even then!)

...So that's my personal journey up to the present day. (I also sum up my sort of situationship identifying as an agnostic Catholic Presbyterian in this post.) But others have different paths.

I know so many queer Catholics, ex-Catholics, not-sure-where-they-fit type folks...there are:

queer Catholics who stick with the Catholic Church completely;

or who occupy a sort of liminal in-between, sticking to the Catholic edges but still interacting with Catholic institutions.

I know others who completely left all things Catholic behind, not just the institutions but all Saints, songs, etc.

If you're interested in listening to / reading about a few other people's experiences, I've interviewed a few queer Catholics on my podcast:

there's Emma Cieslik, who archives all sorts of queer Catholic experiences in her own oral history project;

There's K Kriesel, whose life has taken them all around the Catholic center and many different peripheries;

There's Amy Neville, who studies art history and incorporates Catholicism into their queer art; and others too.

____

Sorry if all that was way more than you were looking for! But I hope exploring some of the journeys of others who've been in a similar place to you might help a bit.

A few other things I'll tack on:

If there are any Episcopal churches near you (that mention being LGBT friendly on their website), their vibe will be much closer to what you love from Catholicism than a UCC church is. Lutherans are also closer in vibe and often LGBT affirming.

It's possible there might be a (non-Roman) Catholic community near you that is LGBT-affirming — check out this post for more about liberal Catholics, Independent Catholics, and more.

The previously linked post also brings up organizations that aim to make the Catholic Church more LGBT-inclusive, like DignityUSA. You might find that one of those orgs has a branch near you where you can find support and commiseration.

Finally, you may also like looking through my #queer and Catholic tag, and also maybe my #lgbta patron saints tag.

Sending you love and wishing you peace, joy, and a sense of belonging. I know how hard this in-between time is, when you just don't know what to do or where to go — but God is with you on this journey. They will be with you wherever you go; in fact, the liminal spaces, the in-between not-quite-this-or-that people, are the places and people through which God most often acts <3

[lunatic-fandom-space]

Hey! I've been obsessed with Elisabeth: das Musical for a good while and one of the things I really like about it is the way it comments on Sissi-media. However, Im saying that as someone who really only knows about that media through cultural osmosis and hasnt really seen any of it. And since I'm gonna have a bunch of free time the next few weeks, I thought it would be interesting to watch all* the media about Elisabeth I can get my hands on and review it and just talk about my thoughts on it. I'm also gonna watch all* the Rudolf media I can find as part of this little project because, I might as well

*by 'all media' I mostly mean stuff like movies, series and stageplays, obviously I know there's books but I'm not really in a place where I can focus on reading a bunch of stuff, but I know that the trilogy is based on books, and if I can find free audiobooks online I'll listen to those

I also want to give a quick disclaimer that I'm not a history person, I know very little about all this, so I'm not gonna get too much into the historical accuracy of any of these pieces. I mean, maybe this whole thing will get me to do research into the actual history, I actually have been wanting to do that more since Ive started engaging with the Elisabeth das Musical fandom and seen all these people talk about how much reasearch they do for fanfics and stuff, and its making me feel a little left out ngl, but I struggle with actually doing that for reasons I dont really want to get into. Long story short, if I dont approach historical topics very carefully Im gonna end up with horrible intrusive thoughts that last for days, and I'd like to avoid that but I need to figure out how to do that first.

Anyway, that's pretty much it for now. I'll put everything I want to watch in order under the readmore. I'm pretty sure I got everything (that i can access atleast), but if you feel like Im missing anything please tell me, I want to be thorough and I would really appreciate it ^^

• Kaiserin Elisabeth von Österreich (1921)

• Elisabeth von Österreich (1931)

• The King Steps Out (1936)

• Mayerling (1936) (with english subtitles)

• L'Aigle à deux Têtes (1948) (with english subtitles)

• Le Secret de Mayerling (1949) (with german subtitles)

• Ludwig II. — Glanz und Ende eines Königs (1955)

• Sissi (1955)

• Kronprinz Rudolfs letzte Liebe (1956)

• Sissi, die junge Kaiserin (1956)

• Mayerling (1957)

• Sissi — Schicksalsjahre einer Kaiserin (1957)

• Mayerling (1968)

• Elisabeth Kaiserin von Österreich (1972)

• Ludwig (1973) (with german subtitles)

• Viza Privati, Pubbliche Virtú (1976) (with german subtitles)

• Der Kronprinz (1989)

• Sisi und der Kaiserkuß (1991)

• Elisabeth: das Musical (1992 Austrian proshot)

• Elisabeth: Ai to shi no Rondo (1996 Snow Troupe Proshot) (with english subs)

• Elisabeth: das Musical (2004 Hungarian proshot) (with english subs)

• Kronprinz Rudolfs letzte Liebe (longer original version split into two parts: Kronprinz Rudolf — der Rebell (Part 1) und Kronprinz Rudolf — Mayerling (Part 2), same as 'Kronprinz Rudolf — Sissi's einziger Sohn) (2006)

• Lissi und der wilde Kaiser (2007)

• Sisi (2009)

• Rudolf: Affaire Mayerling (2009)

• Sisi... und ich erzähle euch die Wahrheit (2012)

• Sisi (2021)

• The Empress (2021)

• Sisi & Ich (2023)

Media I am aware of but could not access:

• Leibfiaker Bratfisch/Day Geheimnis von Mayerling/Die Tragödie eines Prinzen (1919/1924-1925)

• Tragödie im Hause Habsburg/Der Prinz der Legende (1924) (<- I was very surprised that I wasnt able to find these two anywhere since theyre old silent films and would think they would be archived somewhere, and I couldve sworn Ive seen gifs or screenshots of Tragödie im Hause Habsburg on tumblr, so idk, if anyone could point me to where I could watch these, I would really appreciate it)

• The Last Half Hour: The Mayerling Story (1951)

• Sissi — Beuteljahre einer Kaiserin (1989)

• all the various Mayerling-shows by the Takarazuka revue

[nikadd]

911 7x09 speculation based on the stills

ok im gonna do this thing for fun where i try to predict the order of events of 911 7x09 from the stills that were released bc there were MANY and im just trying to figure out how they are gonna fit everything into the episode. obviously everything is going to be under a readmore.

for clarity's sake, it is 11pm pst on 5/22, the episode airs tomorrow 5pm pst, so the sneak peek clip into the episode has not been released yet.

and i will come back to this post later to see how close i got. there are definitely going to be scenes where i got their order relatively to each other in the same storyline, but maybe the way they intersect with the other storylines could be offbase.

we are most likely missing scenes to have full context of everything, but this is the closest i think i can get to without having seen any sneak peeks or anything else. feel free to let me know what yall think!

1. 911 call

i think we are going to begin with a cold open of a call, just like many other episodes. from the pictures released, there's only one known call, so i'm not 100% sure that it's going to be the first one.

if the call is actually in the middle of the episode, then the first scene would be:

2. the award ceremony

it makes sense to have it happen earlier rather than later because it sets up both bobby's and hen's storylines (and also im assuming eddie's)

it's probably gonna begin with a few speeches and then a sequence of scenes happening around the same time.

3. athena and maddie

athena and maddie celebrating their husbands' medals (with a quick emphasis on bobby's convo in the corner and maybe athena's reaction)

4. henren + surprise guest

hen and karen and their kids also celebrating, but then this guest actress character shows up and somehow affects the whole adoption storyline (911 instagram earlier posted stills from 7x02 where the son of a councilwoman died while hen was interim captain, so im assuming it's either the councilwoman or her agent). this scene could also take place later within the sequence, maybe right before we switch to another location.

5. buck, eddie, christopher, and marisol

a quick moment with buck, eddie, christopher, and marisol. maybe there is a line that directly addresses eddie's lie in a dramatic irony kind of way, like the audience knows what's going on but the other characters don't.

6: henren and tommy

not sure if henren and tommy talking happens before hen's storyline or after and whether it happens before the buck/eddie scene or after. also would be interested to see if this scene is tommy apologizing for past behavior (it was implied offscreen). or maybe it's some kind of a mlm wlw conversation. or maybe even some kind of "if you hurt him we hurt you" conversation. IF this happens after the buck/eddie scene, then maybe tommy asks henren about the nature of that relationship and buck's connection to chris. basically, idk if it's gonna be a conversation about buck or not, but chances are, it is.

7. back at the grant-nash house

this scene was in the promo. basically, bobby still has a lot of survivor guilt and doesn't like being called a hero. athena is worried. the ad break probably happens right after here.

8. eddie and kim's date

absolutely zero idea how this is going to go. kim might do something that is very shannon-like, or maybe she does the total opposite. they might get caught, they might now. actually, i think it is too early in the episode for the secret to be fully revealed, but there is a chance that buck might run into them, and so maybe they have an awkward scene. we are promised a buck x kim scene, but it's unclear if it's gonna happen in this episode or next.

9. hen figuring out the adoption issues

(unsure if the meeting with madney is gonna happen before the first still or not, but im assuming after.)

hen is disappointed with some kind of bureaucratic bullshit she is being put through, so she needs advice.

10. athena seeks out amir's help

in the promo, athena is at the hospital when she says that bobby needs help. amir also has survivor guilt, so it's smart for athena to ask him.

it's cut closely with a scene with henren and madney, but it's definitely a misdirection. the way that athena says it, im assuming there is an ad break or a scene switch right after.

11. henren and madney figuring out the adoption stuff

they are making a plan!

WILDCARD: marisol and christopher

okay so these pics were posted a while ago so i'm assuming they are for these episode, even though there is a chance it's for the finale.

this scene could be happening closer to the end of the episode, but i feel like it might be a scene where eddie actually has marisol babysitting christopher because he's out with kim. or something like that. like i think maybe here we have marisol suspecting something? now, the second pic does look like it's in a hospital, so MAYBE it's not from this episode, but we'll see.

12. amir and athena

they are continuing their previous conversation outside.

13. firehouse

next day? later same day? hen is working on the documents. probably some kind of thematically important conversation with bobby. transitions into:

a fun little sequence of the 118 crew working together to make a meal and then enjoy it together. very much a bobby focus. maybe he's considering finally retiring?

14. more henren and madney

later that day, i'm assuming. the bottom image has somebody in the right corner, and i'm assuming it's karen, sharing an update on the situation.

15. amir, athena, and bobby at athena and bobby's place

not sure if the images are in the correct order, but i'm assuming that the plot here is that bobby shows up in the house as athena is talking to amir, so bobby finds out they've been working together behind his back.

16. eddie and christopher

this conversation seems very important. the bottom pic makes me feel like it's closer to the end of the episode than the beginning. i think eddie either realizes something here or at the very least decides to do something, as he's reminded that christopher is the most important person and he shouldn't hurt him.

17. buck and ...?

same as with the previous scene, the bottom pic makes me think it's in the end of the episode. could be a scene with tommy? maybe it's them breaking it off, or maybe just having an important conversation. buck does look like he's experiencing Something.

(there IS a chance that this scene happens before the eddie and christopher one. maybe it's between buck and eddie.)

18. the fire

okay so there IS a chance that this fire is a dream. if it is, i'm assuming it happens in the beginning of the episode, like a cold open instead of the 911 call. BUT... i think it's in the end of the episode. i think the fire is how the episode ends, and that's how bobby ends up in the hospital in the finale.

[baellielurk]

9, 19 & 73 for wrapped! infodump mandatory ���

9. Gods Don't Pray - Imagine Dragons it's a good song. that's all i got man. (okay i'm lying this is again homecooked campaign related but i still don't know how much i can say.)

19. Prettyboy! - Vana okay the previous was the normal answer, now here is the mental illness. i will tell because you asked nicely, this is up here because it is on a very specific list, which is the same as the previously mentioned rule#34 is also on, which is.

adrian might be a little. khm. yeah. there is a playlist, and every single one of these is on my top 100 💀 also worth noting this got up to 19th place since september 25. i did not know this before i did not listen to it before. it just moved into my brain. more under a readmore cuz im not putting all this on someone's dash without consent.

73. 74. Upside Down - Elliot Lee already answered 73 and i went 74 cuz i wanna keep talking about adrian so honestly this song doesnt fit at all but the ~viibes~. it's a liiiitle bit applicable to adrian's magic, especially with the time/gravity in focus - if we very liberally take the song's whole "upside down" to mean like, physically upside down, as in, he's figured out this mysterious school of magic, then he would finally surely feel happiness (and be respected and find his place. of course the whole world would have to be basically unlike itself if any way for that latter (finding his place) to really be a possible. but that's not gonna stop him from trying to earn it. like, okay, the world should be upside down, and he will figure out how to turn it. what a motivational song, really.)

thanks for asking!!! (x)

no the brainrot is so fucking real man. i want to be so clear that this man so doesnt fuck for real 😭 like he has magic and expectations to focus on besides fucking usually involves nudity and well the consequences of someone seeing him naked could be disastrous for his family and like yknow he understands that nudity could be avoided in theory BUT then you'd have to explain THAT - but anyway i do think about this sometimes and i have come to the conclusion that this man loooooves control so much and he really, really, really does not normally get to control anything, and i just know he would love to be able to control something. i think he'd also be happy if that something was his life, and at this rate idk which is more likely to be a possibility 😭 but also i can't actually infodump more about this shit!! cuz literally all i can think about is the fucking blowjob princess shirt and like. my man is NOT a blowjob princess actually. he's a magehandjob princess at best.

[lemon-wedges]

Just wanted to ask (and feel free to not answer), but how do you draw so much so quickly? I'm always impressed by how fast you doodle or paint. Also, wanted to say that I appreciate your Barok and DGS art as a whole.

and with this ask i have finally reached an artist milestone 😭

Well theres a short answer and a REALLY long answer (which ill put under cut when i get there).

short answer: practice + refs

which.....can be an annoying thing to hear. And as someone who studies art and has bought a LOT of online courses trying to figure out how industry people can just churn out work like nothing. it feels like a let down every time i find out their big secret. just practice and photo refs. Every. Single. Time.

LONG ANSWER:

its how you studying your refs. heres how i do mine

sorry if this is rambly. but ill try my best to at least be clear. BUT THIS is the EXACT way i taught myself how to be quicker.

I do not know if youve taken any art classes but essentially one of the ways to study gesture drawing is by first tracing ur photo ref to get a sense of the flow/proportions of the body. youve probably seen a billion of these tutorials floating around:

So last year around hmmmm june/july? i was NOT looking to get better at my anatomy or gesture. i was actually trying to get better at clothes. but my problem was it took me so long to draw out a figure (which i was fine with cause i liked how my people looked at the time) that i could never really just focus clothing part.

So i told myself look. ur not looking to draw in this style like this forever. so for now SIMPLIFY SIMPLIFY SIMPLIFY!!!! I WANT THE BAREBONES OF A HUMAN HERE TO MAKE A MANIQUIEN FOR CLOTHES OK

but how do i do that....

Im gonna use this piece as an example from my rise and yosuke fashion palooza month. FIRST u see i got all my photo refs together. i like those poses on the right and i want to switch out the clothes for the other ones i picked out. i trace out my poses. kind of like the tutorial up top but since this is about draping i was focused the exact places their waist/arms/legs/etc would bend.

and like the tutorial u turn off the photo ref and do a drawing based off that traced piece.

then i would turn on my refs and add on my clothes

And after a month of just doing that over and over and over. i was surprised to find that figures and poses were so much easier to understand when i would break them down like this. and once u get familiar with them the faster and more confidently you'll draw them.

I and still do this btw. heres my otasune from the last week

i used photo refs for all my sketches. if i cant find anything online to match what i want i just take photos of myself. and some might say well arent u just relying on reference TOO much?

AND AGAIN take it from someone who has spend a lot of money buying classes from their fav artists in the industry. The Secret of how they churn out so much cool work so fast always turns out to be this. practice and photo refs.

Every. Single. Time.(tho this is omitting a lot. im not getting into like they way they stylize their art work. that actually the fastest and funnest thing to do once u have ur base down)

Now PAINTING

The thing is, i dont actually post up all my work on this blog. So theres a ton of stuff you havent seen me do. These are some paintings i did 2 years ago for a class.

I already know how to pick my values and set up lighting. When you see me painting my figures now. i am not focused on learning these basics im actually just honing a technique.

you might see me post readmores with these kinds of wips. I lay in all my colors and lighting with the lasso tool. ALL THE MAJOR DECSIONS ARE DONE HERE

(the little miniature i add on the side basically tells me what the overall feeling is going to be when i blend in the lineart to be cohesive with my colors) ( also if you had any questions on my prepainting process tho. feel free to ask!!!)

and if you compare this wip to my finished piece youll actually find that i dont stray that far from what i've laid in.

everything happening at THIS stage is about feeling out how i want the textures to blend with one another and getting funky with some brush strokes.

and thats it? im not sure if any of this is helpful but if anything. i hope you come away from this feeling like what ive been doing here is nothing special. "THATS IT???? THATS ALL THERE IS??? well i could have done that :T"

exactly man. you can do ALL OF THIS aND MORE!!! I BELIEVE IN U :D

but ill let this be the last thing i leave u with my friend: my barok sketch and the refs i used for his boobies

[bismuthburnsblue]

YOU SELECTED: WING COLLAR

and thats the collar! it was pretty close in the end, but wing collar just pulled through- ill be real with you guys, i have NO idea how im going to go about making this part of the pattern, but i hope you'll find some entertainment in listening to me figure it out!

I think that makes pretty much all out major decisions on this project! i could definitely run several more polls about the details on this dress, but it, at the very least, feels too far out on the making to really be thinking about the fine tuning, for me! maybe ill put up a couple more a few months down the line, huh?

but before we go, right at the beginning of this, i mentioned the chance of doing an overlay to tone down this fabric, and now im offering you the choice! ive pulled two fabrics from my stash for you to vote on!

As usual, images and personal thoughts under the readmore :)

heres the options! above is it laid out over the full length, below is them laid out with each other- i think below is a far better example of the reality (the chiffon REALLY washed out in the picture, but i wanted to include both to give you as many visuals as possible

(below: top=dot, middle=none, bottom=chiffon)

my main interest in doing an overlay is that i worry that the fabric is too vibrant for me to get a reasonable amount of wear out of this garment- i am very much an all black bitch, and this fabric actually has quite a lot going on. i think if its toned down a bit i would reach for it more.

However. any overlay is going to instantly make the sewing process a good deal harder. chiffons and mesh are much more finnicky fabrics to work with than the plain cotton, and even with flat lining it, its going to be a bit of a challenge to make sure the layers stay nicely together and the top fabric isnt bubbled over or tucked anywhere. im also concerned flat lining simply wouldnt be enough for the skirt panels, being as big as they are, and that a top layer will gape away and hide the design completely

On top of that, the chiffon blocks out a lot more of the design than i was really going for, honestly. its very covered in person. you can get sheer-er chiffons, but i wasnt planning on buying anything new for this. counter to that, i also feel maybe the mesh doesnt block out enough? in person i had to flip it back and forth to really see the way it affects the colours.

i also also feel like. it immediately makes it feel more formal to me? takes it from a plain cotton dress, to something Fancy- im not sure that makes sense, but thats the way it feels to me. this isnt really pro/con, just. a thing to consider.

(i guess on that note- i worry it may make it less washable? a more delicate garment? i have an overlocker but its still stress on a potentially delicate fabric)

i think the tldr of all of that is. i have many concerns about doing an overlay. but if it goes well, it may make the dress significantly more wearable to my style, which is always an important factor to consider. i really am trying to make more things i will truly Wear, so its a thing i have to consider.

[practically-an-x-man]

Ask meme! Im going with POV! Might do more later if I can. 💚

Thank you!! Putting this under a readmore since it got a little long... ;)

POV — something that’s already happened, retold from another character’s perspective

Hm... I think we'll do the reunion scene from Taking Flight, just because I love it so damn much!

Here's a bit from the original just as a refresher, told from Kendra's POV as she witnesses the event:

Something faintly broken passed through Warren’s eyes, just the briefest glimpse of something like regret, but it was gone in another heartbeat. He laughed a little under his breath, running his thumb lightly over Kestrel’s shoulder.  “I think I can do a little better than the pillow, honey.” That was enough for Kestrel to shift, to prop himself up on an elbow and rub at his eyes as he pulled himself up towards wakefulness. He pushed a bit of the hair out of his face, sitting up a little. He still hadn’t quite opened his eyes, squinting in the bright afternoon sunlight that streamed in through the windows. “Mm- s’it been an hour already?” he mumbled, still half-asleep, “Jus’... uh, gimme a minute and I’ll get the charm going…” He finally sat up, finally opened his eyes, and then his body went stock-still. Only his eyes moved, flicking back and forth over Warren’s face in silent shock. Kendra could practically see the way it struck him, how disbelief gave way to realization, and how that realization finally melted into a flood of intense, tangled emotion. Warren didn’t speak, but he offered Kestrel a faint smile. It was almost strange, Kendra thought, to be able to read so much on his face when it had been so blank before. Now, here, she could see everything as clearly as if she were flipping pages in a book. She could see the sadness, the same short bursts of pain and regret, the blame he placed on himself for what he’d unwittingly put Kestrel through. She could see a little bit of amusement, just a touch, as he watched Kestrel’s own reaction. But above everything else, what she saw was simply an overwhelming flood of love, candid and present and practically painted across Warren’s face.  “Kestrel?” he whispered, giving his shoulder another gentle squeeze. And that was the catalyst.

And... here's a version of it retold from Kestrel's POV!

When he dreamed, he heard Warren speaking to him. It was indistinct, the words blurry in sleep, and something panged deep in Kestrel's chest. Had he already forgotten Warren's voice, after just two years of silence? How much else would fade in time? There was the echo of a touch, some warmth and pressure against his shoulder. It wouldn't be the first time. He wanted so badly to be held again, to be comforted, and he knew his mind gave him what it could. It wasn't much. He twisted on the bed, burying his face in the pillow and breathing in the lingering traces of Warren's scent in the fabric. He didn't want that dream to fade. Without the memories, he didn't have anything left. "I think... do a little... pillow, honey." The voice pulled him closer to consciousness, but it didn't dissolve as a dream should have. There was something tangible about it, something that filled the room in a way that memories alone never could, but Kestrel's brain still hadn't quite filled in the gaps. Right. The charm. He'd promised Kendra a charm once he'd gotten a bit of his energy back. The voices... he must've been getting his wires crossed. He pushed himself up on an elbow, fighting hard against the exhaustion that wanted to drag him back into sleep. Afternoon sunlight filled the room, and he squinted as his eyes adjusted to the light. “Mm- s’it been an hour already?” he mumbled, still half-asleep, “Jus’... uh, gimme a minute and I’ll get the charm going…” Finally he was able to open his eyes and focus on the figure crouched in front of him. He expected Kendra, but... It was an anomaly. He didn't look like he used to, but he didn't act like this was in fact the present. His hair and skin were still albino-pale. His eyes hadn't changed from that faded-moss color- but those eyes were alive, aware, filled with emotion. Kestrel must have lost his mind. He couldn't believe this. He wanted to reach for Warren but couldn't bear to move, couldn't stand the thought that this would dissolve into memory and he'd be lost again. It had been years since he'd last been able to read Warren's eyes. It had been years since they'd been anything but empty and blank. Now he could see everything. This wasn't a dream. He'd come back. "Kestrel?" he whispered, his voice gentle like it was on so many quiet nights. He squeezed Kestrel's shoulder - how many times had he wished for these little touches? How many times had he sat beside that silent figure and prayed for the brush of his fingers, the murmur of his voice, the laughter in his eyes? Before he knew it, he was in Warren's arms.

[jinjjayo]

hi! i noticed you said you were fairly new to making gifs, and i'm also kind of new and still struggling on how to make the quality crisp/how to get good coloring. is it possible for you to provide some advice / tips for me?

ah hello !! yes, i started last year spring but i'm feeling a lot more confident these days so hopefully i'll have some insights that are of use to you 💜

i yapped a lot, so i'm putting most of this under a readmore

first: tutorials are your friend. gifmakers sharing things are your friend! we gotta look out for each other lmao. how else will we keep our timeconsuming hobby on dying website alive. try to find resource blogs like usergif tutorials section or these sorts of things. im sure lots of us muddled our way through like that. if you have a favorite gifmaker see if they have like a photoshop help or a ref tag, too, that's nice (i dont on this blog, but lots of folks do)

second: quality generally is going to be a lot bit down to your source video. u can sharpen and do everything you like to 480p and it will still be 480p you know? so for kpop, most mvs and that kinda stuff will be in 4k which you can download from youtube and that's nice enough. if you want to have better you can look for masters (which i do, i have a huge list of hoarded mvs). for performances ideally you want either like nice 1080p .ts files or uhd - there are places you can look for that like on twitter or on different sites. basically you want to use the nicest you can get (that wont brick your computer - 4k can be troublesome for this reason sometimes)

third: once you have nice quality video source, a lot of crispiness and prettiness is down to individual sharpen settings and coloring, especially contrast and white balance. curves tool is your friend for fixing tints/white balance/contrast. here's a good sharpen actions set from my mutual @/sugurugetos (and thats her resource blog so it may be worthwhile to poke around in there). i use a combination of my own sharpen settings + photoshop camera raw filter most of the time.

(aside: there are some other more complicated things you can do to nice-ify your footage, like vaporsynth/avisynth or handbrake or topaz upscale or whatever, and im here to tell you i dont use any of those things and i still make it out okay hehe. but there are many tutorials for them too if you like)

fourth: it is a learning curve like any other creative hobby so give it time & keep trying hehe. most gifmakers have their own style of coloring/sharpening and yours will become more apparent once you figure out how you like to do it. i believe in u

[sifloopboning]

can i be so real with you. ok so first of all. i do think a siffedrin who's already a masochist is fun and sexy and has a lot of potential vis a vis kink discovery and exploration. however. the hottest thing imaginable To Me is for him to start off genuinely not being a masochist at all in the slightest and being trained/conditioned so thoroughly that he'd make the cenobites scared. ok im putting a readmore now cuz im shy teehee

it'd be soo easy with his insane people-pleasing tendencies and eagerness to ignore/push through their pain esp if they think they can help/please someone by doing so. personally i think itd be fun for a hypothetical sadist dom thats definitely not a projection of me to actively edge him for hours on end without letting them cum at the end. followed by passively edging him for days by making it clear that he's not allowed to touch themselves or cum unless their dom allows them. though of course they'd still be feeling up / teasing sif just enough to keep them simmering the whole time.

if he's good, he gets to go through another long active edging session at the end of which they are allowed to cum! but only if he begs be hurt, and only if the dom is simultaneously inflicting some kind of pain on them. they'd prolly do anything for any kind of release at that point esp since he figures he can handle pain even if they dont necessarily like it. and of course this means he's forced to nut over and over until he's sobbing and on the edge of passing out from overstimulation. then they get lots and lots of tender loving aftercare, affection, and compliments for being so good because he deserves it ❤️ and also to strengthen the association between pleasure and being hurt/in pain of course. wrt to the type of hurting i think u could start off small (spanking, rough biting, hair pulling, etc) then escalate more and more! rinse and repeat of this with more and more extreme stuff while making sure that they only get to cum when theyre in pain and you could get him to the point that if you slap him in the face he'd cum a little on the spot. and of course be unable to cum no matter how much or well they're being touched if they're not also being hurt. do you see my vision

[foxhopfics]

First off thank u SO MUCH to everyone in that post going "tag me too pls!" Im writing this for u i love u :) it makes me happy that so many people were interested in this concept.

This fic will be available on AO3, but whenever a new chapter comes out I will post the new ao3 link with the chapter under a readmore cut.

Hope you guys enjoy the prologue!

Strontium Nitrate and a Colt .45 prologue

Warnings: family death

A violent, cracking storm whirls in Eddie as he watches his ex-wife be lowered into the earth by 4 men on either side of her coffin. The flowers on the top shift precariously white, blue, yellow and red popping out against the dark wood grain, but they remain on as it clunks onto the ground. It shouldn't be so bright. The sun wasn't supposed to be shining the day he had to put his wife into the ground.

It's all he can do to just keep his hand firm on Christopher's shoulder to not cry, and scream, and run towards that fucking hole and dig her back up, begging her to come back to life in his arms. There were a million and one ways Eddie had expected Shannon to die one day. An accident by a stranger's hand hadn't been one of them. There were so many dangers he had to account for in his every day life, he was bound to slip up at one point. Bound to lose someone he cared about to a stupid mistake.

He's numb through the reception, fingers gripping the sides of his own sleeves so hard he has to peel them off from stiffness, and he's vacant through his family asking him question after question. He doesn't know how to answer if he's ok in front of people who are expecting him to be strong, expecting him to be the man of the house when his son just lost his mother, when he wishes more than anything he was lying in that coffin next to her.

When he can't stomach the pleasantries any longer, he takes Chris home. It's obvious the kid's had enough poking and prodding, and the silence is blessed. He checks the rearview mirror, and not five minutes after they pull out of the reception hall, Chris is drooling with his head against the window. The brunette smiles forlornly. He can see so much of Shannon in him, always had been able to, but now it felt like every trait of hers on him is more pronounced.

He wakes Chris up when they reach home, and Eddie has to stand in the doorway for a second to wait for his ears to adjust to the ringing quiet, when he's been around so much noise all day. Who knew funerals could be so loud. It definitely wasn't helped by the static rushing so loud in Eddie's ears he had to strain to hear other people talking at him. But now neither of them can bother to bring their voices above a whisper.

"Go get ready for bed, kiddo. I'll be there in a minute." He ushers Chris off to do his nightly chores and steps in to flick the kitchen light on. He sighs, leaning his elbows on the counter and his face into his hands. He musses his hair, and rubs down his face in an attempt to wipe the stress away. He doesn't know how long he'll continue to feel like he's floating, tether-less in space until the emotions of what happened catch up to him. He hopes Chris isn't in the vicinity when it happens.

There's time to figure this all out. Tomorrow. He hears the bathroom door open and close again as Chris shuffles off to his room. He takes his turn in the bathroom, not having enough energy for a full shower even though he feels like he needs it. Instead, he lets the water from the sink run so hot it scalds his finger when he tests it. He pulls out a washcloth from the drawer, soaks it and wrings it out, then wipes his face down of all the grime that doesn't exist. Nevertheless he feels cleaner and a tiny, minuscule weight slides off his shoulders. He finishes his business and shuffles his lead-weighted feet off to his son's bedroom.

Chris is already in his pyjamas and under the covers, his face red and puffy and struggling to keep his eyes open. Eddie sits himself by his legs on the edge of the bed, running a soothing hand through his boy's curls. Neither of them say anything, a lump forming in Eddie's throat and leaving no thoughts in his head when he tries to get something out.

Chris takes the first initiative. "Why did she have to go, daddy?" At first, Eddie doesn't have an answer that's acceptable to a 5 year old. Because bad things happen to good people. Because fuck him, apparently. Fuck him and her and everything he was trying to build for them and fuck God for taking it all away from him. He swallows hard, trying not to gag on his own tear-filled spit as he tries not to let it show on his face.

"Sometimes people do dumb things. And when people do dumb things, others get hurt because of their actions. And this time, someone did something dumb, and mommy was the one who got hurt by their actions." Chris nods sleepily, exhausted and upset. Eddie leans down to give him a kiss on his temple. "Get some sleep kiddo. Come and wake me up if you need anything, but we can figure out more tomorrow, ok?"

"Ok, love you daddy. Night night."

"Night night, buddy."

Tag list: @aniilaff @watchyourbuck @diazlilgirl @weballingsad @whambamthankyousir @passthe5sauceplease @mrslectermoriarty @jeffthekilled