#Idk. We had a guest come who was writing an article

[vamptastic]

I need to come out to my synagogue soon because my voice has dropped a noticeable amount and it's getting to the point where not saying anything raises more questions than not. The congregation is very progressive, albeit in a way that is sometimes too enthusiastic, and I need to find a way to let everybody know that both isn't a big attention-grabbing statement and lets enough people understand my deal that I don't have to field a million individual conversations

[ghost0loxer]

Imagine, a gender fluid teenager like myself has a favourite/feel-good film and that film is “Just One of the Guys,”from the mid 80s.

Picture this: theatre class, we watch “She’s The Man”, a dreamworks film from the 2000s. And yet, the social justice issues within the film are glaringly obvious to today’s society. Don’t get me wrong, it can be a funny film in a group setting - but then there are scenes that are just uncomfortable. Now, we discussed these themes in class, but I just can’t help but think about the film that came before it. Yes, StM (she’s the mans) is a modern day adaption of Shakespeare’s “Twelfth Night” but I was thinking about the modern day adaption before StM, “Just One of the Guys” from the mid 80s.

I love this film. For multiple reasons, which I hope to discuss.

Number one, our main character. Terry Griffith is stubborn. If she thinks something is right, she won’t let anyone say no or get in her way. Now in some cases, this is great. It’s definitely a shift in the usual romantic comedy female lead (especially for the 80s). But it’s one of her biggest flaws. In the beginning, Terry doesn’t win a contest for a part-time job at the Sun Tribune. She believes her article was amazing, but she speaks with her English teacher and he gives it to her straight. “You don’t have what it takes to be a reporter.” Her article is boring; it’s about the nutritional value of the lunch menu in the school cafeteria, of course it’s boring. But the words her teacher tells her has her convinced it’s because she’s a woman. Thus, she leaves school for two weeks and transfers as a buy to another school who are holding the same competition. Once she gives her article, she is told almost the same thing, but this time, she’s given proper feedback to improve it. Of course, there was some irony with this scene between Terry and the teacher. “Just because you’re guy, doesn’t mean you can’t be sensitive or light.” Thing is, she doesn’t give up, she strives to fix it and finds a new angle. I love her determination, I love the way she doesn’t let others push her around. Furthermore, her transition to a man. In StM, Viola as a guy is made to be cringey and comedic, you watch and think, there’s no way a guy would do that. But Terry, having grown up with a younger brother and is actually smart, manages to nail the role. Sure, she has slip-ups, but she stays afloat and she’s not being over the top. She’s chill and convincing, yet you as the audience can tell she’s trying to appear masculine. Her lines are witty and she’s sharp. Someone has something to say, she’ll be able to backtrack and answer with a joke or sarcasm quickly. I like smart characters.

Another point, the way women are written in this film. A lot of women in this film are treated like shit, but it’s probably a realistic depiction of the 80s. Everyone is talking about dating and sex, it seems to be the only topic the women in this film speak about, unless they are Terry. Terry seems to be the only character in this film whose main goal is not romance or sex. She strives to be a reporter, she wants to prove herself, and she rejects the advances upon her frequently. Whether it’s the boys asking her on dates in halls, or her own boyfriend attempting to seduce her when her parents aren’t home, she doesn’t put them above herself, yet she still lets them down easily, unless they become more pushy (case in point, her boyfriend, Kevin, in the beginning). She can stand up for herself, but she’s not the only one. Her best friend, Denise is one of the many women looking for love, nevertheless, she holds standards. I will admit, I didn’t like Denise’s acting in the beginning; she’s not a great character, but even she manages to reject men’s advances constantly. She’s not afraid to say it bluntly and she expresses her true emotions when certain guys try to ask her out. She tells it to them straight, and I respect her for that (despite her lack of empathy for some). Terry’s brother is constantly hitting on Denise, but she stands her ground. She doesn’t hit him or curse him out, she spins words around him and always lead back to the key word “no.”

This is my third, and maybe final point, (because I’m not great at writing but I’m starting to get tired) the way they handle sexual orientation. It seems if you’re going to make a film about a cross-dressing woman who falls in love with a man, you have to discuss sexuality and this film is not afraid to. That was my biggest beef with StM, when Viola confessed her love to Duke, the made it blatantly clear that it was “weird” and “unusual”; the editing and music cuts. It was done for comedic purposes, but in that moment, it just made me cringe. Even when the principal marched onto the field during the big match to expose Sebastian as “the woman he was all along,” he used a big megaphone and said to the whole crowd this man is in fact a girl. If it were to happen in the real world, and this character was a trans male, that would be traumatizing and so so insensitive. I couldn’t help thinking the way they handled the reveal in StM was poor and shitty.

But with JOotG (just one of the guys)? It’s done respectfully. Throughout the film, Buddy, Terry’s younger, sex-obsessed brother (I have thoughts on this character), often refers to Terry as a transvestite or sexually confused. They make references about her dating other women and jokes. It’s not treated like taboo, but just something people normally talk about, and as a questioning kid when I first watched the film, I really needed that. Although it was used for jokes, the fact that it wasn’t treated like a silent topic made me think more of it and discover who I was; it was media like this that made me accept myself.

Even with the reveal. Kevin, Terry’s boyfriend (or ex boyfriend by the end), stomps up to Terry after she’s wrestled with the school bully and was dumped into the waves at prom. Rick, who’s been Terry’s friend (and is the male lead) throughout her time at his high school, immediately questions who Kevin is and he responds with a harsh and sure “Terry’s boyfriend.” Of course, that doesn’t expose Terry as female, but makes Rick assume she’s a homosexual. But instead of calling her weird or replying negatively, he answers Kevin’s question calmly and says he’s just a friend. There is no prejudice, no disgust, Rick is shocked, but that’s expected. Furthermore, this reveal not only does not alienate homosexuality, it puts the center of focus on the main characters rather than have the whole audience/prom witness this exchange. Sure, the rest of the school is watching but the camera never pans over to them, and even then, Terry drags Rick away from the crowds to a secluded area to explain more.

Even once they’re secluded, Rick doesn’t yell at her or is homophobic. He just says “I understand, you’re gay.” As we know, Terry is not in fact gay and she reveals this to him in a similar fashion as StM, at least it’s not flashing a whole crowd. But the thing that hits me, is the fact that it’s not used as a joke or for comedy. Throughout the film, they’ve mentioned homosexuality and being transgender, but it was used as a light-hearted joke (nothing insulting or derogatory). In this moment, it’s not a joke, and it’s the bare minimum for a emotional scene like this, but it always hits me.

Of course, Rick gets justifiably mad that he’s been deceived and he storms off. Terry’s flaw catches up to her here, as she kisses him in front of the prom guests, stubborn to make him realize how much she cares. ( I didn’t agree with this action to be frank, I cringed ). The crowd gasps and it’s the usual reaction to a homosexual kiss and Rick just pulls back, says “It’s alright everyone, he’s got tits,” and leaves with Deborah.

In true romantic comedy fashion, life moves on. Terry gets the job at the Sun-Tribune after writing her article about posing as a guy and everyone who was longing for love in the beginning has found it, except Terry. The ending, however, is Rick coming back for her after a couple (days? Weeks? Idk all I know is it’s summer by the time he comes back, how much space between prom and summer?) and they kiss, go on a date and all is good.

Now after writing this long ass post, I’ve come to realize the main reason I like this film. Sure, Terry is a good character (not morally sometimes, but she’s interesting to watch), the way women are presented also is good, but my main source of affection for this film (in comparison to StM) is the way they handle the switching of genders. I���m gender fluid, I don’t always like being a woman or a man, I switch almost daily and half the time can’t decide if I want to grow out my hair or cut it. Seeing Terry, originally a woman, manage to convince people she was a guy made me wish I could do it too. It made me realize, I don’t always like being a woman. I want to be a guy sometimes, and I want that to be accepted. It was media like this, like Ouran High School Host Club, like Bare: A Pop Opera, that made me understand my gender and sexuality. (Even media that didn’t have any relation to LGBTQ+ helped).

When I first heard of “She’s the Man”, I had hoped it would be like these pieces of media. And it wasn’t. It was an alright film, but made me feel disappointed and somewhat let down. And that’s why I just prefer Just One of the Guys. Maybe it wouldn’t float in today’s political climate, maybe I’m wrong for seeing these points as reasons it’s one of my favorites, but its still better than StM and is one of my favourite films.

[yourlocalmoron]

Questions and commments I have for Riverdale:

Are the characters ever going to seek counseling/therapy in their adulthood?

Will we ever get a specific mental diagnosis for Cheryl and Betty, or?? Because I feel like Betty might have DID or something else if not more, but I am no psychologist, so please - for the love of whomever you believe in - don’t take my word as gospel. With Cheryl, I’d best guess histrionic, but again, I am no expert...just speculations based off observations and the way they approach/respond/react to situations.

Are all of the students returning as teachers? I really thought they’d all have unique and different jobs (and I mean no offense by that, I just genuinely assumed) outside of teaching—way separate from teaching, actually, except maybe Jug when it comes to writing

Why did they make the Gargoyle King human? I know Roberto never got the green light to fully cross Riverdale over with Sabrina, but they still seemed to have more mentions and guest appearances from the former within CAOS than the other way around? I’m just sayin’... GK was kind of a weird villain, we all know that, but with all the genres that Riverdale plays around with, I think it would’ve been nice to have a supernatural/paranormal-themed season, no? Just me? Kk.. (s3 is my favorite so far, because it’s weird and wild - and I got high for most of its viewing lmao - so I’m biased)

⬆️ I forgot about the fact that Jonathan played as Kurtz in Riverdale and then later as Robin in Sabrina ... and Bret’s actor in CAOS’ last season (wasn’t Donna’s in there, too?) so I mildly stand corrected

I think it would’ve been cool to see Riverdale cover the Be More Chill musical. Idk, with all the peer pressure and casual bullying/taunting/judgement that goes on amongst them peers (examples: joining or leaving/getting kicked out of gangs, being blackmailed into lying in court with the threat of leaking a tape of your brother getting shot, being outed against your consent, getting guilted for still being in the closet, “manning” up after being abused or getting into a bear fight - typical high school stuff), I think it could’ve been an interesting spin. And the cyanide could’ve been replaced with the pill or sumn. But I am content with the musicals they’ve done so far, don’t get me wrong.

Toni’s parents...? ... We ever gonna meet ‘em, or...?

What happened to Hermosa and Charles? Chic, even, or Evelyn? I really don’t remember if they ever explicitly said where these characters went. But I definitely remembered what happened to Edgar 🚀👱🏻‍♂️🔫

Is Hiram gonna try to kill Archie again? I’m sorry but the thought of that kinda makes me laugh, like this dude has been an ongoing villain for three seasons straight. He gets under my skin, and I’d argue that is what can make for a good villain, beloved or not

Did Archie give up Vegas? ‘Cause I haven’t seen that good boy in a while...

Are we ever going to meet Heather?

I just still find it kinda interesting and unique from season 1 that we never once heard Jason speak a line of dialogue, and that everything we ever got to know about him was told through the Blossoms or other students.

The Midnight Club is still one of the best episodes thus far, IMO, and one of my favorites. Maybe I’m just a sucker for nostalgia I wasn’t even alive at the time it came out, but it’s still fun to rewatch.

Why aren’t LGBTQ+ and POC characters utilized more - rather than tossed aside or left to disappear without a trace of goodbye - when there’s actually been a good handful of them per season? (ex.: Cheryl, Kevin, Joaquin, Josie, Chuck, Valerie, Melody, Sierra, Toni, Reggie, Peaches N Cream [I saw her in the recent episode, just for a second, with her cute done-up braids and all], Fangs, Moose, please forgive me if I forgot anyone; it’s been a while) And why do the POC especially end up being villanized up against the white, cishet characters? Like the entire Lodge family, for example..

Toni said her and Jughead were still good friends (when they all - but the core four - still thought he was dead), but I feel like I haven’t seen them interact ‘til Jug denied her title to being the Serpent Queen?

Is Toni going to be pregnant this season, or did they hide Vanessa’s baby bump 🤰🏽 with any random object or article of baggy clothing found onset?

So Reggie and Jughead just never interact after season 3? Kinda sucks ‘cause that’s a duo I’ve been hoping to see more of, but I won’t hold my breath just yet since it sounded like the show’s ongoing til 2022, last time I saw. It would just be cool to see more guy friendships; heck, even Fangs and Reggie would be a sick duo. I just think Reggie getting along with the Serpents - after half a season or more of just not liking or trusting them at all - could be pretty dang cool.

Where did Mad Dog go? I’m sorry, they might’ve said in the last season, but I don’t remember. I miss him either way :(

I just find it funny how Jughead and Veronica never talk about the one kiss they had lmfao. I would’ve loved to see how that convo would’ve gone down, since it’s safe to assume that at least Jug remembered afterward —who never gave Betty a straight answer on whether or not he enjoyed it (/laughs in jeronica crumbs that I’m sure I’ll never get again/)

Who taught Cheryl to talk the way she does? I love her, but— 💀

S1 Alice was so wildly conservative, like...miss ma’am, you’re talking about witchcraft and demons over there like you’ve had your experiences (outside of G&G).. 👀 No but didn’t the Blossoms have a demon in their family bloodline, according to CAOS? ‘Cause that’d make this make much more sense to me..

How many *more* of the Riverdale girls’ fathers could possibly be serial killers or criminals to varying degrees?

Edit: I guess that’s it! I don’t want to ask too much more, just wanna see what this season will entail ~v~

[retvenkos]

cold coffee // theseus scamander

Harry Potter: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them - Theseus x platonic!Reader, Theseus x Leta, angst

A/N: ha ha, did i mention angsty theseus? leta’s death just really hits hard this week, idk why.

Summary: Few knew how to take care of Theseus Scamander better than you, but looking at his blood shot eyes and shattered expression, you wondered if, for once in your life, he was beyond your saving.

Theseus’ hands shook, calloused fingers curled inward as though still holding his wand. He closed his eyes, but comforting darkness did not greet him. Instead, blue fire played against his eyelids, bright flames pushing him backward, attacking him without mercy, separating him from the one he loved most.

Leta.

Her purple dress, tattered and burning. Her eyes, steadfast and alight. Her entire being, walking away from him and igniting in the blue flames that would seal her fate.

Did it hurt? Was it over before she could register the pain? Leta had faced her crucible so young and she had learned to love the flames. Were they kind to her, at the end of things?

Theseus’ whole body was sitting on edge and when the air cracked with an apparition, he jumped. His mind immediately thought it was her, as though through some stroke of luck, she had made it out.

You stood there, a few paces in front of him, your forehead creased into disbelief and concern, your breathing still trying to catch up with you, throat still raw from your scream of grief.

Leta.

You had known her since you were young, when she was a girl and just four years younger than you, although her eyes had the weight of years beyond that. She had been aimless, then, unsure of where to go or who to become and you had given her direction. It was like having a younger sister, someone to worry over and guide, someone to encourage. 

She has looked up to you, almost. It was hard for Leta to trust anyone, let alone love and admire. It had been your joke that one day you would do something grand enough to earn her approval. She couldn’t easily give it to you now, could she?

You didn’t know what to say. What do you say to a man who isn’t a widower but grieves like one? 

One thing was for certain - it was time to leave Paris.

You stared at him, but his eyes saw past you, seeing a place that wasn’t in front of him, seeing a woman who was no longer. 

You stepped forward and gave him a hug. His body was hesitant to respond, not ready to accept your condolences. Theseus had seen enough death to know that she was gone, but he hadn’t seen enough to believe it.

Once he believed so, what would become of her? Who would his Leta be?

Your face brushed against his coat and deposited tears, there. You grasped him a little tighter and disapparated.

Crack!

You let go of Theseus and took a step backward, your shoes shuffling against the carpet of your apartment. Your dinner still sat on the kitchen counter, the food abandoned and cold after hearing news of what had happened in the search for Grindelwald. You didn’t have much of an appetite anymore.

You pushed it away to make room for your first aid kit. Theseus had a few burns on him, and you knew he wouldn’t get to treating them himself.

“Come here, Theseus,” you said softly, your voice feeling oddly out of place in your throat. It wavered when you continued, “let me help.”

You worked in silence, helping him out of his jacket and rolling up his sleeves, your touches soft as you pressed a thick salve to his burned skin. You were no healer, but you did your best to fix all that you could. Few knew how to take care of Theseus Scamander better than you, but looking at his blood shot eyes and shattered expression, you wondered if, for once in your life, he was beyond your saving.

“How did you know?” His voice was raw from crying, cracked from trying to hold himself together.

"Newt and a woman apparated here. They said you hadn’t left the cemetery.” You couldn’t look at him and instead focused on cleaning up. Theseus would sleep here tonight and tomorrow everyone would make their way to Hogwarts. You weren’t sure why, but you hadn’t had much of an opportunity to ask Newt when he was here.

You were both worried over Theseus. Newt reckoned he would have stayed there the whole night if you didn’t take him away. You had always been better with comforting Theseus after something went wrong. You were the first person Newt thought to reach out to.

You wondered if he was right to do so.

“He’s going to be coming back tomorrow. He said you have to—”

“—See Dumbledore. Let him know Grindelwald got away.”

You lapsed into silence and your hands froze above the stack of blankets before you. He’d ask about Leta. Dumbledore would be the first of many to hear the news, to look at him apologetically, to mutter their condolences with pity in their tone. How would he make it through?

You grabbed the blankets and held them to your chest - you had to focus on tonight. “You can sleep in the bed.”

Theseus shook his head, still not all there, but cognitive enough to be chivalrous. “I’ll take the floor.”

“You’ll never fall asleep.”

“I won’t, anyway.”

You sighed and took a seat at the table, gesturing for him to sit down. He joined you, one hand rubbing over the other, drawing circles on his skin. “You need to sleep, Theseus. This night will never go away - you don’t need to exhaust it now.”

“What else can I do?” He considered your pained expression for a long moment, and you heard something earnest in his tone, a searching for direction. You were unsure where to lead him. Where was he, if not by her side?

“Rest.”

It’s what Leta would have wanted.

You bit back the rest of your statement, feeling the wound too fresh to be examined.

You stood and put a hand on his shoulder, his muscles tight beneath the fabric of his shirt. He didn’t think on your words for too long before standing, allowing you to lead him to the tiny bedroom where he would stay for the night.

“Take the bed, okay?”

Ho nodded, too tired to argue.

--

Newt came by in the morning, the woman from last night behind him, and another man in tow. They shuffled into your apartment with bowed heads, their expressions subdued. You allowed them in without a word, and you sat then down at the table, pouring a strong cup of coffee for all three. 

They took their mugs gingerly, as though they sensed that the grief from last night still hung thick in the air.

“(Y/n), this is Tina Goldstein and Jacob Kowalski.” Newt introduced you to your guests and you shook their hands, remarking that you wished it were under different circumstances. They agreed and you waved away their condolences when they tried to extend them.

“Theseus?” 

“He’s getting up. He got three, maybe four hours of sleep last night. I got to him shortly after you left.”

They nodded and you nursed your cup of coffee.

“How much sleep did you get?” Tina peered at you in a way that made you feel she already knew the answer.

You shook your head.

When Theseus entered the room, Newt stood. The brothers hugged, greeting each other without words. Jacob and Tina nodded at him, and you gave Theseus a cup, your hands brushing his. He took the hot drink from you with cold hands.

He didn’t drink it while the group discussed what would happen next. You watched him intensely, noticing his reluctancy to join the chatter and planning. It wasn’t like him and although you supposed he didn’t feel much like himself, it worried you.

You didn’t expect him to move on. You had expected him to push forward, like he had when he came back from the trenches of the Great War and from auror missions gone astray. Theseus had always been quick to run from grief and focus on the next task at hand.

But what could he run to - another war? Jacob had mentioned that Grindelwald spoke of another, in the future. What was ahead of him, now? Not his wedding. Not the life he had been envisioning.

What lay beyond the events he was experiencing right now? Cold coffee that he hadn’t the stomach to drink?

You gathered the mugs from the table and shrugged on a coat.

It was going to be a long train ride to Hogwarts.

“We’re headed to a school? What happens after that?” Jacob, who you had quickly realized to be a Muggle, always seemed to be searching for answers you were not sure any of you had.

“We don’t know.” Theseus’ words shook the room into silence.

“We’ll go from there,” you assured him. “That’s all we can do.”

--

Hogwarts was different from how you left it. The uniforms were slightly different and the desks were more worn. Dumbledore looked the same, though, the twinkle in his blue eyes just as bright, his smiles just as warm.

He didn’t know what had happened to Leta.

He asked and the air was sucked out of the castle.

“She was brave,” Newt was the first one to speak. Everyone was unsure of what to say. Everything felt too harsh, too final. She was gone. Dead. Behind the veil.

Dumbledore nodded and that was it.

--

“Mr. Scamander, how does it feel to have survived Gellert Gridedwald’s Paris Attack?”

The Daily Prophet still had newspapers to sell. They still had articles to write and news to report. Aurors had died. People whispered of another war. There was no escaping what had happened. There was no moving forward. Leta’s death was around every corner, hidden behind every comment Theseus faced.

“Do you have a comment for all of the families out there that lost someone?”

“Does the Office of Aurors have any leads on where Grindelwald might be now?”

“Mr. Scamander, a comment please.”

Leave him to grieve. Just five minutes to be alone. Just an hour to think. Just a day to pack away Leta’s things. Let him be.

Please.

You would handle the questions. You would lead him away from the masses, give the reporters warning glances. There was only so much you could do, but you pressed forth the way Leta always had. She had always been able to push rumors away and handle her monsters with grace. Where was she, now? 

You answered their questions as best you could.

We’re grateful to have made it out of Paris.

We are deeply sorry to those we have lost.

We are working on a few leads for Grindelwald, but there have been no major advances.

We are working as hard as we can.

When would the questions cease? There had to be an end to this heartache. There had to be a day on the horizon when things no longer hurt.

“No more questions, please.”

“But the people need to know!”

--

Theseus’ hands no longer shook. They were frozen in time, still enough to imitate death. He breathed in, his chest expanding with the effort. He exhaled and his body shook with a sob he would not allow to break through.

War.

It was all he had ever known, all he had been allowed to comprehend from very young. Death had been an acquaintance of his ever since birth, a passerby that always seemed to be where he was, an almost friend if he had the time to introduce himself.

That was no longer the case.

Death had cheated him. It had taken the one thing he loved most, the one thing he could not live without. For what? To watch him suffer? Hadn’t he seen enough? To prepare him for what was to come? He did not think he could continue without her.

He was sitting on the edge of his bed when you apparated into his apartment, the air around you crackling with foreign energy. Exhaustion seemed to pull you downward - your shoulders sunk and your head bowed, but you were there nonetheless.

Who else was going to sit with him, allowing tears to fall down his cheeks without judgement? Who else would hand him a steaming cup of coffee and put a hand on his shoulder, sitting with him until the mug no longer warmed his cold hands?

Who else would check on him in the middle of the night, their own sleep interrupted by the instinctual feeling that Theseus was awake and too proud to seek anyone out?

Leta was no longer. It could not be her.

You took off your shoes and padded towards him, kneeling down so that you could look upward and see his eyes.

They did not want to see the world that was in front of them.

“I miss her, too.”

His arms were instantly around you, his body sinking to the floor where he could hug you and not be afraid of letting go. “I can’t do this without her.” He was sobbing, his words barely even there but their sentiment too powerful and raw to not be understood.

“I know, I know.”

“What am I fighting for, if not Leta?”

You cradled his head in the crook of your neck, smoothing his hair so it would lay flat. 

“Your fighting for the person she knew you to be.”

[vitosscaletta]

All of them for juliasam. now. sorry to anyone else who sent any this is my city now

(thank you 😌 also @jmcolt asked 1-8 too, thank u ❤💕)

Who is the most affectionate?

JULIA DUUHHHHH... it’s the repression 😔 he squeezed her hand when he was fucked up from blood loss once though. love. 

Big spoon/Little spoon?

They don’t spoon.. they're the same size it just ends up being weird 😔 

Most common argument?

It’s not really one specific topic, like I said before she doesn’t really agree with most of the crime stuff around 1938 anymore but lets most of it slide.. 

Favorite non-sexual activity?

ahem 😌 i think i already said this on another post but she likes to take walks by the docks on central island (other places too that’s just where she goes because her workplace is there) and drags him along lol.  Also they sit in a corner booth at Salieri’s like freaks and talk shit about the other guests/some guy in the gang they don’t like 😒

Who is most likely to carry the other?

hmm neither lol, Julia would try it for fun but she’s not strong enough :(

What is their favorite feature of their partner’s?

Ew corny 🤢🤢🤢 but for her... he rarely smiles but the maybe 3 times he does.. she likes that she thinks he looks cute 😌 (that one screenshot from the race where he looks normal. i know i said i hate it but I really don’t, I actually like that pic. he has dimples :/) For him uuhh her fucked up small nose.. the way it looks when she laughs. he’d never say that but yk 

What’s the first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for the other?

mmmjdsjhdfjhdfjdfjjhdfjhdfj sam is fucked up so he avoids her.. he’s obviously not emotionless but rather. emotionally stunted. Doesn’t talk to anyone about himself, not even his closest friends and instead uses random prostitutes as therapists while mistaking physical intimacy for an emotional connection with that one girl even though she was just doing her job.. Meanwhile Julia has been in the “friend you don’t really open up to” category up until that point and the fact that these feelings come from actual friendship with an actual connection of sorts rather than aforementioned physical intimacy (which was already bad enough last time & didn’t end well you know 🤷‍♀️)... BAD... Which leads to the whole “just don’t think about it” mentality clicking because it’s easier than just facing it I suppose.

Julia on the other hand had a dumb little crush early on that she never really acted on - she’s not emotionally repressed, she just cares too much about what other people think about her.. she’s not trying to be liked, just to be taken seriously so talking about your feelings to some mafia guy out of the blue is probably not the best idea 😔 She just kind of ignores it/complains to her friends... after the hand holding thing even more so because she’s pissed he’s acting weird. she kind of knows he’s a fucked up repressed guy but she’s not gonna chase after him or anything.. make an effort 🔫

Nicknames? & if so, how did they originate?

She calls him “chief” lol. Just for fun.. the more affectionate thing is “Sammy” though which is cringe but whatever.. uhh he doesn’t strike me as a nickname person though, he just calls her Julia. Maybe some corny shit in italian if he’s feeling it

Who worries the most?

Julia 😔 mafia boyfriend thingz, meanwhile her job is just to write things for the newspaper so she’s not actively in danger. 

Who tops?

ewww don’t force me to talk about s*x on tumblr. She does. 

Who initiates kisses?

In public... mostly Julia 🙄 which isn’t much she’ll just give him a kiss on the cheek sometimes. At home/private it’s. both :)

Who reaches for the other’s hand first?

Ahem.. She does 😌 see this.

Who wakes up first?

Uhh it depends. They both have to get up early as fuck but sometimes he’ll get a call from the don at some fucked up early hour. Which wakes her up too but she can go back to sleep ig

Who wants to stay in bed just a little longer?

This ties into the previous question but IF it happens.. she :)

Who says I love you first?

She does. she has to do everything I guess 😒

Who leaves little notes in the other’s one lunch? (Bonus: what does it usually say?)

godd neither that’s cringe. Also they probably just eat out all the time 

Who tells their family/friends about their relationship first?

Julia. Sam doesn’t say anything probably, when someone asks he’s like. mind your own business 😒

What do their family/friends think of their relationship?

omg they mostly have the same friends. I don’t think anyone really gives a shit, they have mafia things to do. Olive knows about it of course and thinks it’s uhhhh questionable... Sam is kinda fucked up but once it works out she’s cool with it 😌

As for family (that’s not “the family”).. Sam doesn’t have any. He does but they live somewhere else and do.. idk something. being catholic. they don’t know what he’s up to. Julia’s dad already knew him obviously (sitting at some cringe family dinner & one of your daughters brings some guy who bled out on your couch a year ago ❤), she could have done better but there are worse guys out there, he’s okay with it. Her sisters are just like. ew we hate this man.

Who cooks more/who is better at cooking?

Technically Julia but she’s too lazy/”””busy””” to cook so they just eat at salieri’s every goddamn day

Who comes up with cheesy pick up lines?

Neither 🙄

Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear during inappropriate times?

UHHH maybe he does. sometimes. 

Who needs more assurance?

Sam but not in a “actively craves it” way, more in a.. doesn’t need it but then gets it once & says it’s dumb but has to think about it for 3 weeks way 

What would be their theme song?

I don’t have one but like you (dany) said.. sara by fleetwood mac’s lyrics have the vibes & i get weirdly emotional about them every time i hear it so. that qualifies 😌

Who would sing to their child back to sleep?

GODDDD I don’t know. the mental image of them having a child at all (MAYBE in the au just for fun but.. idk.)

What do they do when they’re away from each other?

gooddddd Sam is just doing mafia shit idk. hangs around with the don/his friends or in his stupid boxing club. Julia goes back to writing some random article/rewriting it if she’s particularly bored. Also hangs out with her friends. 

one headcanon about this OTP that breaks your heart

GODD the entire canon timeline 1938 and after that. We have au’s for this bitch but you know how it is... Like I said in a post on my oc blog, she doesn’t know anything about the bank job/salieri smuggling drugs now/you know what :)... just a bunch of fucked up things all happening on one day. 

She & Olive leave for Empire Bay after Tommy tells them to get out of town before he snitches on Salieri, Julia ends up marrying the nephew of her old editor-in-chief because she never had that (a wedding lol) & feels like she’s missing out. She’s not happy though, she doesn’t really love him so she just drowns herself in work instead/becomes a bitter workaholic :) He’s not a bad guy, there’s just no real connection there. Come back when you’re emotionally repressed 😒  Her husband also doesn’t know anything about her life before moving to empire bay except that she was a reporter in Lost Heaven and that she has a dead boyfriend who he saw on a few old photographs that Julia keeps in a little box :( Sees her with big smile on those that he never saw on her before 🙃

one headcanon about this OTP that mends it

I don’t know what to say here but in regards to the AU i mentioned uhhh.. basically the ending doesn’t happen bc Sam is somewhat normal I suppose, gets over his repression & doesn’t betray his friends 😌.. they get married in 1939/40 something :^)

[lavenderlattaes]

let’s get married. | kim seokjin

⇒ summary: it’s no secret to your friends that sneaking into wedding receptions for the buffet table has been an ongoing tradition between you and your best friend, kim seokjin. but what happens when your friends get engaged? you become their wedding planners. and, let’s also not forget about the fact that you’re both in love with each other, so maybe all the wedding planning has gotten the best of you.

⇒ [ friends to lovers! au, wedding crashers turned wedding planners! au ]

⇒ pairing: kim seokjin x female reader

⇒ word count: 11.4k words

⇒ genre: fluff

⇒ warnings: like, one or two swear words and an excessive use of the word stupid/dumb, just me being absolutely in love w kim seokjin so this is me imagining what it would be like to end up w him lmao (send help) this may or may not be a slow burn but idk how slow burn fics work so

⇒ note: hello and after an entire decade (lol jk) i am back w a bts fic! I feel like i’ve only been writing for txt lately so here’s a long ass seokjin fic for you guys! I’m a lil bit rusty so please forgive me in advance. without further ado, ignore mistakes bc im a bit of a blind bat and enjoy!  ＼ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ／

i.

“Saturday, 10 am, at the hotel near the publishing house,” Seokjin throws a pastel pink cocktail dress at you, and you groan at his actions, pushing the freshly dry-cleaned dress away as you directed your attention to a rerun of your latest drama that aired last night. Being an editor for a magazine had its perks, that’s for sure, but you absolutely abhorred the times when you’d have to work overtime and miss your dramas.

“Who’s getting married?” You ask, popping popcorn in your mouth as your roommate slash best friend, Kim Seokjin plops down onto the couch beside you, grabbing a handful of popcorn for himself.

“I don’t know them personally of course, but I heard they’re Jeongguk’s friends from college,” Seokjin shrugs and you choke on your popcorn.

Seokjin turns to you worried, and pats your back comfortingly as you take exaggerated coughs. When he realizes this, he rolls his eyes and goes back to looking at the tv.

“Jeongguk’s friends?! So they’re his age?” You sputter and Seokjin can merely sigh. “Unfortunately, so. We’re definitely gonna end up alone with about fifty cats.” You snort at his statement, folding your legs underneath you.

“Firstly, we’re not that old. We’re just older than Gguk by what, five years? And secondly, you’re not gonna end up alone because you have me, and you don’t even have a single cat.” You point out the facts and Seokjin looks up in thought before shrugging.

“You’re right. Besides, I’m too good looking to end up alone.” He proudly states. You can only nod in agreement.

“What are they having for their lunch?” You return the topic to the next wedding you’ll be crashing and Seokjin shrugs.

“I don’t know. I’ll have to ask Jeongguk because I think he knows.” 

Most of the time, you didn’t exactly get caught when you pretended to be on the guest list and act like you knew the couple despite having a few loose ends; you were just that much of good actors. You’ve known Seokjin all throughout college and you know how good he is at acting too, despite being a business major. He once told you that if it were up to him, he wouldn’t even be taking up business if he didn’t have to inherit his dad’s company. He wanted to be an actor, or at least have any job related to the field. 

You hum in response. “Can’t believe kids younger than us are actually getting married before us,” Seokjin speaks up after a while, and you snort. He still hasn’t moved on from it, apparently.

“You’re gonna find someone to marry soon,” you reassure your best friend and he only shrugs.

It’s the day of the wedding, and you’ve both managed to sneak in — again, and you’re both enjoying the food by the buffet table while couples danced in the middle.

“Hyung!” You hear a familiar voice and both you and Seokjin stop munching on the chocolate truffles to find the owner of the voice.

It’s Jeon Jeongguk.

He grins mischievously at the both of you, and gives you a hug as he squeezes himself in between you both. You feed him a truffle and he gladly accepts, his cheeks puffing out as he chews on the sweet dessert happily.

He swallows the bits of the truffle before turning to Seokjin. “I see you’ve managed to sneak yourselves in, again.” Jeongguk laughs and you let out a scoff. “It was easier this time, actually. Turns out Jin actually somewhat knows the groom so we managed to play it cool with a few facts about him,” you shrug and Jeongguk raises an eyebrow.

“Really?” He looks at Seokjin in disbelief and the older boy grins proudly. “You have so little faith in your hyung, you know? You underestimate me,” he pats the younger boy on the back and Jeongguk shakes his head, a twinkle in his eye.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you guys would end up together,” he comments and you and Seokjin both choke on your food as Jeongguk giggles, snatching another truffle and stuffing it in his mouth.

“See you later, guys!” he turns around and runs back to the dance floor where he starts breaking out into dance when he sees his friends. You turn around fully, watching Jeongguk in the middle, when your eyes flit over to the couple. You observe the gentle way the groom held onto the bride’s waist as they danced, the way he looked at her with so much love, and you can’t help but sigh.

Seokjin turns around after swallowing his fifth - or probably sixth - cream puff, glancing at you before following your line of sight. “What’s with the sigh, dork?” He bumps his shoulder with yours and you break out of your trance, turning to look at him. He looks at you curiously and you break eye contact to take a sip of your wine.

“Am I ever going to get married? I’m almost 30 and I haven’t dated anyone since college,” you state worriedly, and Seokjin stares at you long enough to see if you were joking or not.

You weren’t.

When you don’t hear a reply from your best friend, you turn back to look at him again. “You okay?” You ask and Seokjin looks at you for a while longer before shaking his head. “You’re gonna find someone who’s gonna love you for you, I’m sure of that.” He ends up saying and gives you a close lipped smile. You chuckle and sip on your wine again. Seokjin follows your movements before turning back to the floor where Jeongguk was already leading a train with his other college buddy, Kim Yugyeom. 

With his own glass of wine just close to his lips, Seokjin whispers, “If you don’t find anyone by then, you’ll have me, at least.” 

ii.

“Hey, how was the business trip?” You greet from your spot on the couch, typing on your laptop as you hear the door open. Seokjin’s suitcases land on the ground with a soft thud. You soon feel his lips plant a small kiss on the top of your head before ruffling your hair.

“Tiring, but I think we got the investors to go with our proposal. We’re gonna find out by the end of week,” Seokjin finally speaks up, walking over to the kitchen where he grabs a bottle of water. You stop typing and decide that your article can wait until tomorrow. You close your laptop and stand up to grab some food in the cupboard, knowing all Seokjin needed after a long business trip was to watch movies and eat until the early hours of the morning.

“Let’s go out for some pizza,” Seokjin announces and you stop in your attempt to climb a chair and open the top cupboard. “Aren’t you tired? You just got back,” you ask him, and he shrugs. “I’m craving for pizza right now. Let’s just go out for dinner then come back.” 

You plop down on the chair you were supposed to stand on and pull your legs up. “Then we can just order in some pizza then,” you propose and Seokjin pouts at you. “I wanna go out, I’ve been so cooped up in offices and cars lately,” he whines. You stare at him and he just pushes his lips even more and you hate the fact that when he’s trying to be cute, you can’t resist him.

“Ah, whatever. Let me go get changed,” you stand up and Seokjin claps his hands triumphantly. “Tonight’s dinner is on me!” He calls after you and you laugh, climbing the stairs to your room. “Yeah, yeah. Whatever,” you shout back, waving a hand dismissively.

“I thought we were just going to have dinner?” You ask in confusion as Seokjin suddenly drives to the boardwalk after receiving a text. “What are we doing here?” The car comes to a stop and Seokjin looks at you. “Someone’s going to propose tonight, remember?” Your eyes widen in realization.

“Wait, Yoongi’s going to propose tonight?! I thought it was next week,” you mentally facepalm. Seokjin unbuckles his seatbelt and turns the car off. “Me too, but I got a text from Namjoon asking where we were. Apparently, we were supposed to help them set up hours ago,” he says and the both of you get out.

Shutting the car door, you run around to Seokjin’s side as you both hurriedly make your way to the beach. “Ugh, I feel so bad now. Yoongi’s proposing to my best friend and I was stupid enough to forget,” you sigh and Seokjin pats your shoulder. “We were both busy, so they’ll understand.” You both make it in time to see Namjoon asking your other friends to get into their positions. Hoseok notices the both of you approaching and laughs.

“Where have you guys been? Hopefully not at some wedding again,” Hoseok teases and Namjoon turns around to greet you both.

“You’ve got a wedding about to happen in a few months right here where you don’t have to actually sneak in and you don’t even show up on time?” He adds and the younger guys laugh.

“You think about food way too much,” Jimin pipes up and you both groan. “We were busy with work, don’t make us look that bad,” You whine and they all laugh. 

“Okay, okay. Y/N, you can take care of the lights, and Jin hyung, you can go give us the signal when Yoongi and Y/F/N walk past your hiding spot.” Namjoon instructs and you both nod, going over to your spots.

“Hey, when am I going to give the go signal?” Seokjin asks and Namjoon’s about to answer when Taehyung suddenly speaks up, “Guys, they’re almost here!” “Quick, hide!” Namjoon calls out and all of you get ready in your hiding spots. 

“Wait, wait-” Seokjin shuts up when all the lights go off and he can hear the sounds of footsteps approaching.

“Yoongi…” the soft voice of Y/F/N dies in the air and Seokjin can see their footsteps move past him.

“Y/F/N, we’ve been together since college. You’ve been my best friend for a longer time, and I’ve always known that it was always you,” Yoongi begins and Seokjin got so focused on Yoongi’s words - his friend is being so expressive right now, when did this happen? - that he forgot to give the go signal. The place was still dark and Yoongi was already down on his knee.

“Y/F/N, will you raise Min Holly with me and stay up writing songs with me? Will you make me the happiest man and marry me?”

It’s only then that Seokjin suddenly breaks out of his trance and panics, giving the go signal, just as you manage to realize what’s already going on and turn the lights on as Hoseok plays the music and Taehyung and Jeongguk start taking pictures, all a little too late. Y/F/N jumps in surprise at the sudden flash of lights and the music that started playing. Jimin plays the surprise video a little too late and Namjoon pops the confetti way too early.

In conclusion, you guys were terrible friends and ruined the perfect proposal Yoongi had planned in his head for weeks. Y/F/N looks around and despite the fact that for Yoongi it looked absolutely terrible, her eyes only saw how much Yoongi loves her. Her eyes started to water and she turned back to Yoongi, smiling down at Yoongi who had his head down, thinking that he probably ruined his chances of marrying the only girl he loves.

“Min Yoongi, look at me,” she whispers softly and all of you managed to tone down the chaotic mess you created. Hoseok turned the volume down a bit and Jeongguk started to film the moment instead, while Taehyung turned the flash off. 

“I’m sorry, it wasn’t supposed to go like this, I promise everything was carefully planned out, I- I don’t know what happened and I know it’s a mess but -”

“Yoongi.” Y/F/N giggles and Yoongi looks up at her. His eyes widen and his mouth is slightly agape as he sees tears in her eyes. “Yes.”

“Wait, what?” Yoongi tilts his head in confusion and your best friend lets out a watery chuckle. “I said yes, Yoongi. Yes, I’m going to raise Min Holly with you, yes, I’m going to stay up late and write songs with you, yes, I’m going to make you the happiest man. Yes, I’m going to marry you.” She finishes, and pulls Yoongi up to stand.

“Wait, are you serious?” Yoongi asks again and she hits his shoulder weakly. Her tears fall and she laughs, “Of course, you’re crazy for thinking I won’t spend the rest of my life with you. You’re not getting rid of me that easily,” she starts crying now and your tears start to well up with happiness for the couple. Yoongi slips the ring on her finger before pulling her into a tight hug. 

Seokjin is the first to clap and everyone follows, hoots and cheers coming from the younger boys. You start clapping too, wiping the tears away as you cheered for the engaged couple. When Yoongi and Y/F/N pull away from the hug, they turn to look around and all of you come out of your hiding spots to properly congratulate them.

You dash over to Y/F/N and she looks at you in surprise before pulling you in for a hug. “You’re part of this too?” she squeals and you chuckle. “Apparently,” you shrug your shoulders and hug her tighter. “I’m so happy for you and Yoongi,” you coo and she smiles as the two of you pull away from the hug.

“Alright, alright. Now, who messed up my proposal?” Yoongi calls out and the laughter dies down a bit as Seokjin sheepishly raises his hand up. Yoongi’s eyes widen.

“Hyung? I thought it would be Jeongguk or any of the maknaes!” Yoongi exclaims in disbelief and the younger boys start to protest.

“Hey, if you must know, I was the first to arrive here!” Jimin speaks up.

“I came right after Jimin did! I knew what to do too,” Taehyung pipes in.

“I’m in charge of taking pictures so I definitely wouldn’t be late! Besides, Seokjin hyung and Y/N almost didn’t make it because they forgot!” Jeongguk exposes the both of you and the couple turns to you.

You raise your hands up. “Hey, again, we were busy with work,” you try to reason and Yoongi waves his hand dismissively. Y/F/N giggles, nudging you playfully as you wrinkle your nose at her.

“You guys were probably eating at home again!” Yoongi accuses you both and you sputter out excuses.

“No, we weren’t!” “We went out for pizza because Seokjin didn’t want to order which means you’re lucky we were out and were just around the area!”

“Oh, so you guys went on a date?” Y/F/N raises an eyebrow and you stop trying to explain yourself as Seokjin stops talking as well.

Jimin pulls you to stand beside Seokjin and you almost stumble, but he manages to catch you and steadies you by the shoulders. Your friends all turn to look at the two of you with curious eyes.

“So,” Hoseok smirks. “Is there something we don’t know about you guys?” Namjoon asks. “Do you, maybe, I don’t know, wanna share something with us?” Hoseok adds.

“Are you guys dating?” Taehyung wastes no time in beating around the bush, causing yours and Seokjin’s eyes to widen.

“WHAT!? No, we’re not!” you both say at the same time and everyone breaks out into laughter. You start to fan yourself, your face heating up. Seokjin looks away, causing the guys to laugh even more, as his actions only expose his red ears.

“You guys seem pretty bothered by it,” Yoongi comments and you stop fanning as Seokjin faces them again.

Before you can say anything, Seokjin beats you to it. “There’s nothing going on, okay? We just went out for dinner. We were supposed to go home right after but then Namjoon reminded us about the surprise that we completely forgot about because again, we were busy with work, so that’s why we were late and I didn’t know when to give the signal and that’s how I messed up your proposal,” Seokjin explains.

The boys turn to look at each other, laughing lightly, and Seokjin stares at them as your eyes stay fixed on Y/F/N who was whispering something in Yoongi’s ear, giggling quietly. Yoongi nods and grins as his eyes glance at the two of you.

“Y/F/N and I have agreed on something,” Yoongi speaks up and everyone quiets down.

“To make up for tonight, the two of you have to help us with the wedding preparations.” Yoongi proclaims and your mouth drops open.

“Yah, why? I’m going to be really busy starting this month! Father’s going to hand over the company next year and there’s still so much to do!” Seokjin complains.

“And I have a lot of schedules set for this month! There’s so many deadlines to do!” You add in.

“Firstly, you guys are gonna have important roles at our wedding. Y/N, you’re obviously going to be my maid of honor. And Seokjin, didn’t you have a rock-paper-scissors battle with Hoseok for best man when I first told you guys that I was gonna propose?” Yoongi points out.

You both shut up.

“And secondly, who knows how to handle weddings the most than the two of you? You know what kind of food goes well together, right? You know all the best venues in Korea, and I’m sure you guys can take care of a lot of stuff, considering how you’re used to hectic lifestyles anyway,” Y/F/N adds.

Hoseok bursts out in laughter, making the others laugh as well as you chuckle weakly.

“I guess you’re right,” you give in and Seokjin scratches the back of his neck. “Well, I guess we can make our schedules work somehow.” Y/F/N claps her hands excitedly.

“Great! You guys are meeting up with us tomorrow, okay? Make time for us around 3-5 pm,” Y/F/N informs you and you turn to look at Seokjin. The guy can only shrug and offer you a small smile, making you grin at his actions.

Wedding crashers turned wedding planners, huh?

iii.

For the past two months, you and Seokjin have been meeting up with Y/F/N and Yoongi to help out with the upcoming wedding which was set to happen in three months. Which also meant that you hardly got to crash other weddings OR have marathons with each other.

“I’m going with Y/F/N to fit her wedding gown today,” you explain as Seokjin eyes you all dressed up early on a Saturday. He hands you your cup of coffee which was made just the way you liked it, not too sweet, not too bitter. You sit down across from him on the table as he eats a spoonful of cereal. “How about you? Any plans with Yoongi today?” you ask, before taking a sip of your coffee.

He plays with his spoon before putting it down, leaning back in his seat. “I’m supposed to go look for a suit with him too, but I have to go meet with some of the stockholders with Dad today. He really wants me to go with him but I’m not sure if I’ll make it on time so I told him to ask the other guys.” 

You nod and finish your coffee, standing up to bring it to the sink. “You go ahead, I’ll wash it for you,” Seokjin tells you and you grin.

“This is why I’ve always loved living with you,” you comment. “Don’t mention it,” he replies casually as you go back upstairs. You almost make it to your room when your exchange suddenly registers in your head. You pause and turn back around, debating if you should correct yourself or not. The reasonable part of yourself assures you that Seokjin thinks nothing of it anyway and you turn back around again.

Meanwhile, Seokjin’s thinking heavily about your words, even long after you’ve left the apartment.

“Hm, nope not that one,” you say, leaning back against the velvet cushions, as Y/F/N groans and goes back inside the dressing room. You laugh and she whines, “Why are you deciding for me? You’re not the one getting married.”

“Remember what you asked me two months ago? ‘Who knows how to handle weddings the most than the two of you?’ You have complete faith in me, don’t you, Y/F/N?” You tease her and she shuffles out of the dressing room again as you check a text message on your phone.

“This better be good, because we’ve been here for the past four - wow,” you’re cut off when you look up at her. The dress was beautiful and the fact that it perfectly embodied Y/F/N’s personality made it look stunning. It hugged her body in all the right places and it was both parts stylish and sophisticated. Wordlessly, you made her turn around and she obeyed you, feeling a little anxious at your reaction.

“What? Do you not like it?” Y/F/N finally asks and you look at her directly, tearing your eyes away from the gown. You give her your brightest smile. “You look beautiful. It’s this one, you should get this one.”

She lets out a relieved laugh, telling the boutique assistant she’ll get the gown. “That’s the most sensible thing you’ve said to me the whole day. I thought you were going to say something like, ‘wow, you clean up nicely, Y/F/N’,” she teases you and you chuck a pillow at her. “Whatever, go get changed. We have to look for your shoes.” She salutes playfully and goes back inside the dressing room.

Your phone beeps with a text and a smile makes its way onto your face when you read the text.

Partner in crime???: hey, how’s the wedding gown hunting going? 

“I’m so sorry, the meeting ran a little longer than I expected,” Seokjin rushes inside the store and is surprised to see all five of their friends there with Yoongi. They all turn to him and Taehyung greets him. “Hey, hyung! That’s okay, we just got here awhile ago, you’re just in time.”

Seokjin plops down beside Taehyung and Yoongi’s going through the racks of black tuxes. “Hey hyung, what if you wore a pink tux?” Jeongguk suggests playfully and Yoongi turns around to give him a look. 

The younger boy laughs and Yoongi sighs. “It’s not going to match the theme you know,” Yoongi comments, making the others laugh. “But what if you did wear pink? Would Y/F/N get mad?” Jimin pipes in. 

“She won’t,” Yoongi leans against a wall casually. “The fact that she said yes even after hyung destroyed my proposal is enough proof that she loves me a lot.” The boys all burst in laughter at that while Seokjin just leans back in defeat.

“Min Yoongi, go find your top choices and we’ll help you decide,” Seokjin says tiredly, and Yoongi grins at him. 

When Yoongi enters the dressing room to try on his top picks, Seokjin whips his phone out to text you. Almost immediately, you reply and Seokjin smiles at your response.

Wedding crasher buddy: all done! We found the perfect dress. How about you guys? And how did the meeting go?

“Hyung, do you seriously not have any feelings for Y/N? You’re smiling at your phone like an idiot,” Namjoon comments from across. Seokjin looks up and sees all of them looking at him.

“He has, but he’s being a coward about it,” Yoongi calls out, walking out of the dressing room all dressed up. They all turn to Yoongi and grin.

“We’re not being lazy but you should get that,” Hoseok comments. “Yeah, you look good in that,” Namjoon agrees. Yoongi nods. “I personally like this one the most too.” He goes back inside and the boys turn back to look at Seokjin.

“You’ve been living under one roof since you were freshmen in college, don’t you ever get jealous whenever she brings guys home?” Taehyung asks. 

Seokjin blinks. “Woah, what’s with the interrogation? And no, because she never brought any guy home.”

“Has she ever spent a night away from home? Like, slept over at someone else’s house after a party?” Jimin continues.

“Uh, we always go home together after parties and if she did sleep over at someone else’s house, it would always be at Y/F/N’s and I know because I drove her there every time,” Seokjin answers.

Without looking at each other, the boys all say, “They’re in love with each other.”

“I agree!” Yoongi shouts from the dressing room and Seokjin groans. “Min Yoongi just come out here, will you?”

On cue, the man in question walks out. “Do I tell them?” he smirks. The five all turn to look at each other. “Tell us what?”

“This was a stupid idea,” Seokjin groans, picking your wasted self up on Byun Baekhyun’s couch. You had insisted on attending the friendly and energetic boy’s party after stressing out on your finals the entire week. Now that it was all over, you wanted to relax. Your brain had enough of words and you claimed that Seokjin’s supposedly had enough of numbers as well.

‘It’ll be fun! I promise’, you told him prior to leaving the apartment, and Seokjin gave in. Apparently, your’s and Seokjin’s definition of fun weren’t the same. While Seokjin drank moderately and talked occasionally to his classmates and friends , you downed just about every cup of liquor you could get your hands on, and that also included having dance battles with Park Jaehyung from your creative writing class and trying to sing higher notes than Baekhyun’s best friend, Jongdae. 

So here you were, passed out on the couch and Seokjin could only hope you wouldn’t vomit the following day. He was expecting to carry you normally like he usually did when you stayed up late to study and fell asleep on the couch but he wasn’t expecting you to weigh like a huge rock boulder. You were heavy and maybe it was because you were completely passed out. He adjusts his hold on you and manages to somehow thank Baekhyun for the invitation before leaving.

He’s lucky enough to hail a taxi almost as soon as he steps out of Baekhyun’s apartment, and he manages to bring the two of you home all intact. The ride home was really peaceful - you were asleep in Seokjin’s arms and didn’t move much.

But when you arrived home and he had to put you down on your bed, that’s when things started to get a bit messy. “Hmm, it’s hot,” you mutter, and Seokjin sighs. He takes your socks and jacket off, and you’re left in your jeans and shirt. “Y/N, go get changed.” 

Your eyes open slightly, and you give him a lazy grin. “Help me out, Jinnie.”

Seokjin’s ears turn red. You hardly called him Jinnie and when you did, it always got him flustered. Your arms reach out for him and he pulls you up gently, but you wouldn’t budge. “Y/N. I need you to get up for me,” Seokjin begins gently, tugging on you. 

You weren’t doing anything and Seokjin’s been trying to get you out of bed for the past ten minutes. “Y/N,” Seokjin tries again for possibly the twentieth time that night. He tugs on your arms a bit harder. “Y/N, I swear to -” when he pulls on your arms with more force than intended, you suddenly sprang up, and your sudden action surprises Seokjin that he pulls on you even more. 

The action causes your lips to land messily on his and his eyes widen at your action. His arms go still at his sides while your hands rest on his shoulders. Truth be told, Seokjin’s always thought something like this was bound to happen between the two of you; you’re now in your third year in college and you’ve both been single ever since. And maybe because Seokjin was starting to fall for his best friend.

Your lips move slowly against his and what was he supposed to do? Ignore you? Seokjin kisses you back and his arm wounds around your waist, pulling you in closer. Seokjin was getting lightheaded and he’s stupid for not acting on his feelings sooner. He would’ve saved himself from going insane all these years. He pushes you back to lie down and he’s hovering above you. But then you suddenly fall asleep…?

Seokjin breaks the kiss and lets out a small laugh. He looks at your adorable state - eyes closed, lips pouting slightly, hair a mess and flushed cheeks. Seokjin decides to just turn the temperature down and tucks you in properly. He smiles and presses a soft kiss to your forehead.

And Seokjin thought, that maybe it wasn’t such a stupid idea after all.

Until the following day came and you couldn’t remember anything except for Baekhyun’s other friend, Park Chanyeol. 

“You kissed Y/N?!” All five of them exclaimed while Yoongi just casually sipped his coffee. Seokjin throws his head back on the couch and groans.

“And you never told us?” Hoseok gapes at him. “He told me,” Yoongi points out. “But I was drunk when I told you that!” Seokjin exclaims and Yoongi shrugs, “Point taken.”

“So, you just never told Y/N you kissed her and just let her date Park Chanyeol until the end of your third year?!” Taehyung exclaims. “Hyung, why would you chicken out like that!” Jeongguk adds.

Seokjin sighs. “They just dated for the second semester guys, calm down. I couldn’t lose Y/N as a friend, okay?”

“But hyung, how could you just watch the girl you like date someone else?” Jimin asks sadly. Seokjin purses his lips before answering, “I guess it was better to see her happy with someone else than to risk her not looking me in the eyes. I don’t know if she felt the same way, and I just couldn’t risk it.”

“But don’t you think it might’ve made a difference if you tried? Knowing Y/N, I don’t think you’d lose her as a friend,” Namjoon joins in. Seokjin just looks down and checks the time on his phone. He’s greeted with a picture the two of you took after meeting up with Yoongi and Y/F/N two months ago. He hasn’t changed it ever since. You were pouting and Seokjin was giving you a weird look and on most days, it made him happy. Now, it just made him feel hopeless.

“Well, we can’t change what already happened.”

You plop down in the corner booth of the cafe you frequented at while you were in college, exhausted from all the shopping and going around with Y/F/N. She sits down in front of you, equally exhausted. 

“I don’t understand why you didn’t just get a wedding planner, you dummy. It would’ve saved us all the trouble,” you breathe heavily. Y/F/N kicks you under the table. “Ow!”

“We’re talking about my special day, Y/N. I want it to be perfect and you’re the only I trust enough to be able to pull it off. Both you and Seokjin know us better than anyone else,” she points out. 

You sit up. “That is true.” She smiles and sits up as well. “Now, do you want anything? It’s my treat.”

Your eyes sparkle and she laughs. “The usual?” You nod, and she pats your head playfully before standing up to order for the both of you.

While waiting for her, you look outside the window and see couples left and right, going on dates. You rest your chin in the palm of your hand, sighing. You haven’t dated in so long, you’re sure you’ll end up alone. The first and last person you dated was Park Chanyeol, and it only lasted for one semester because he thought you were cheating on him with Seokjin. Besides, you didn’t really have much to talk about. 

You scoff at the memory. Seokjin didn’t even think of you as a woman. You’ve always been Y/N to him, his best friend whom he met the summer before college.

“What are you thinking about?” Y//F/N breaks your train of thought and you turn to look at her. She’s back with your order and you help her set everything on the table. She returns the tray before sitting back down in front of you.

You take a sip of your drink. “Just, how single and alone I’ve been since college…?” you offer a lame response and she rolls her eyes. “You haven’t been alone, Y/N. You’ve always had Seokjin.”

“Yeah, but I mean, romantically.” You explain and she shakes her head. “You have Seokjin.” Confused, you furrow your eyebrows at her. “What are you talking about?”

Y/F/N sighs and leans back in her seat. “You have Seokjin so you’re not alone and you’re not gonna end up alone, okay? I know what you’ve been thinking, that you’re not gonna end up marrying someone and you’re gonna die alone.”

You give her a look. “That’s a bit too much, don’t you think? The dying alone part,” you say. She smiles sadly at you. 

“Why are you looking at me like that? Y/F/N, don’t give me that look,” you inch further into your seat. She shakes her head at you. “You’re both so dense, you know that? Anyone with eyes and a common sense can tell how much you love each other. Except for the two of you, unfortunately.”

Sighing, you hold Y/F/N’s hands in yours. “I think you’re just tired, let’s get you home, yeah?” She rolls her eyes at you playfully. “I’ll leave you to figure it out on your own.”

Y/F/N opens the door to the apartment and inside you see all seven boys deeply immersed in a black and white film. “What’s up with them?” you whisper and Y/F/N snorts quietly. “I don’t know, let’s just go watch with them.” you nod and Y/F/N makes her way over to Yoongi. 

“Hey, you guys are here,” Yoongi greets and the boys all raise a hand in greeting, their eyes still focused on the film in front of them. You laugh at how in sync they are and plop down next to Seokjin. Out of impulse, he raises an arm to wrap around you and you cuddle closer to him.

“I’m tired, let’s all just sleep here,” you mutter, resting your head on his chest as he rubs your arm gently. “If they don’t kick us out,” Seokjin whispers into your head and you grin, nodding. Suddenly feeling sleepy from the warmth Seokjin was radiating, you chose to close your eyes instead of watching the film.

The next time you open your eyes, you’re facing the door to your closet and you realize you’re already in your own bed. You pout, because Yoongi and Y/F/N kicked everyone out for sure. You turn around and come face to face with Seokjin’s sleeping figure, soft snores leaving his lips.

A gentle smile crawls up your lips, and your finger reaches out to run along his face. You trace the bridge of his nose, the curve of his lips, and count the lashes on his eyes. He looked so peaceful sleeping. It’s then that you realized how long it’s been since you last fell asleep next to Seokjin. It usually happened on really cold nights in the winter when you just needed that extra bit of warmth.

Your finger moves up to brush the hair out of his face when you suddenly remembered Y/F/N’s words from earlier that day. 

Anyone with eyes and a common sense can tell how much you love each other. 

You look at your best friend. Kim Seokjin understands you better than anyone else. Y/F/N understands you too, but Seokjin knows you like the back of his hand. He can read you like an open book and you could say the same for him. It’s always been like that. Ever since you both met way back in the summer before your first year in college (at a wedding you both crashed on your own for fun), you’ve been attached at the hip. Maybe it’s also why neither of you have been in long-lasting relationships. Seokjin dated like, one girl in your freshman year and you dated one guy in your third year in college. That was it. People either thought you were a couple or you were just too focused on your studies to actually date, but it was neither of those reasons. 

But if you knew Seokjin as much as you thought you did, why couldn’t you tell whether he actually loved you or not? 

As you’re approaching the buffet table, the alarms start to go off in your head. A guy around your age was hanging out by the table, munching on some cupcakes. He spots you and immediately straightens his posture, suddenly looking just a tad bit alarmed at your presence. Noting how he suddenly felt after seeing you, you calm down and approach the table.

“Excuse me,” you say calmly, and he moves to the side as you reach for a cupcake. 

From your peripheral, you can see him watching you. Deciding to take the risk since you weren’t going to lose anything anyway, you ask, “So, whose side are you on?” 

He blinks, once, twice, surprised at the sudden conversation starter. You glance at him before turning to fully face him. “The groom’s,” he answers you confidently and you nod, smirking.

“Me too,” you decide and you turn to face him. “Really? How come I’ve never seen you at previous events before?” He asks casually, giving you a suspicious look.

You take a bite of your cupcake before answering. “I studied in the U.S. and I flew in just yesterday for the wedding.”

He shrugs, accepting your answer. “My brother’s great friends with the groom,” the guy says and you look away, hiding your smile.

“Rule number 1. Don’t say stuff like that unless people ask. It blows your cover,” you say and turn to him, grinning.

“I- how did you-” 

“Seeing where we’re standing right now, I think we’re here for the same reason. I’m Y/N.” You extend your hand out for him and he looks at you in awe, before taking your hand in his.

He gives you a firm shake.

“I’m Seokjin.”

iv.

Stupid idea. Bad idea. Dumb idea.

You sigh, leaning back in your chair as you tried to find the energy and motivation to write an article about the rising new rookie group that was set to perform at the PlayStation Theatre in New York, just two months after their debut. But instead of going over the recording of your interview with the group, your mind was somewhere else. 

Just two days ago, you (somewhat) finally acknowledged that maybe you actually had feelings for your best friend. It didn’t help that apparently, everyone kept saying that they knew that the two of you were in love with each other. Except for the two of you. And ever since then, you’ve been ignoring Seokjin. Well, trying to.

Stupid idea. Bad idea. Dumb idea.

The wedding was set to happen in three months. Can’t you wait for the wedding to be over before you started avoiding Seokjin? Or maybe at least, until the month ended so you’d reason with the monthly pay for the rent, or something? 

Can’t you wait for a reasonable excuse before ignoring your best friend? 

Seokjin immediately knew something was up. From the moment he woke up in your bed and you weren’t there to poke fun at him, he knew something was up. He thinks maybe you found out how he felt and just wanted to stay away from him as much as possible. What he didn’t know was that you were just conflicted about your own feelings and didn’t even know how much his heart yearned for you.

He gave you your space, although not entirely. He still made your morning coffee for you, he still left the curtains open for you in the morning because you loved how the sunlight streamed in through the windows at 7 am, he still did little things for you. It was hard to get rid of doing those things for you, especially since he’s been doing that for years now.

Your phone beeps with a text and it’s Seokjin himself.

Partner in crime???: i’m going to check on the venue and decorations today, are you coming?

Despite everything that’s been going on between you two lately, Seokjin still kept things professional. You stare at your phone long and hard, when another text comes in.

Partner in crime???: it’s okay if you’re not coming, i can go alone. You must be busy.

You think about Yoongi and Y/F/N, who both entrusted you with the most special day of their life. You can’t let them down just because you’re clueless and lost about your feelings for your best friend.

You: I’m going, I’ll meet you there?

Partner in crime???: i’m downstairs.

Oh. 

Shutting your computer off, you grab your bag and exit your office.

“Oh! Noona, are you going somewhere?” Your intern, Kim Seungmin, asks when he passes by your office. You nod and he bows lightly. “Okay, I’ll just leave some papers on your desk, I’m getting them from Mr. Lee’s office right now.” 

“Thanks, Seungmin,” you smile at the young intern and he smiles back before going on his way. 

The sun is shining brightly when you step out of the office and Seokjin’s leaning against his car, scrolling through his phone. “Hey,” you call out and he looks up. He offers you an awkward smile and you smile back softly. He opens the car door for you and without looking at him, you get inside.

He soon follows and he starts the car right away. He drives away from the curb and out onto the main road, and you turn the music on to get rid of the awkward silence. You stop at a red light and Seokjin taps on the steering wheel softly.

You clear your throat and Seokjin turns to you. When your eyes meet, you turn away and face the window, causing him to focus back on the road instead. “I’ve already checked on the invites, and almost everyone has confirmed their attendance. I’m just waiting for a few more people.” 

“That’s great, all that’s left would be the food, if we finalize everything for the decor and venue today.” Seokjin replies and you nod. “We’ll be meeting up with Yoongi and Y/F/N for the food tasting tomorrow, right?” You ask.

“Yeah, we’ll just meet up with them at the restaurant.”

“Okay.” you reply.

Seokjin doesn’t say anything else after that.

v.

You’re almost done with the food tasting when Y/F/N puts her fork down and folds her arms. You pause and look at her. 

“Alright, what’s up with the two of you?” she wastes no time in beating around the bush, catching you both off-guard. 

“Yeah. We can practically feel the tension radiating off the both of you,” Yoongi comments. 

“Nothing’s wrong,” the both of you say and they give you looks. “We’ve known you both since college. We know something’s wrong,” Yoongi frowns. “Did you guys get into a fight or something?”

“No, we didn’t.” You say first and you can see Seokjin lean back in his seat tiredly. 

“Then why-” your phone rings and you take the call immediately, grateful for the interruption.

“Hello?” the three turn to look at you and your eyes widen. “Yes, what? Okay, I’ll be there, thank you.” You end the call and stand up. Seokjin stands up too and you turn to look at him.

“What happened?” Y/F/N asks. You break your gaze from Seokjin and turn to look at Y/F/N. “There’s been a problem with your flowers, I’m heading over to the flower shop to see what it is. Just finish up here, okay? Don’t worry about it, I’ll make sure everything goes well.” You take Y/F/N’s hand in yours and give it a squeeze.

“I’m going with you,” Seokjin announces and you shake your head. “Stay with them, I can do it.” You insist but he just sighs. “You don’t have a car and I have one, we’ll get there faster,” he latches his hand onto your wrist and pulls you along with him.

“Uh, drive safe?” Yoongi suggests and Y/F/N lets out a laugh when you’ve both left. “What the hell was that?”

Yoongi smirks. “I think they’ve both figured it out, but they’re just missing a piece.” Y/F/N picks her fork back up and takes a bite out of the ice cream cake. “Hmm, this cake is good, but their tea is better,” she laughs and Yoongi stares at her.

“Babe, your jokes are-” Y/F/N pushes a finger to his lips. “I know I make no sense, but you should really try this cake,” she offers a slice and Yoongi rolls his eyes playfully before opening his mouth. He chews on the sweet dessert, nodding in agreement.

“Told you so.” she grins.

The bell above the flower shop door rings noisily, signalling your presence. “Hello?” You call out, stepping inside with Seokjin following behind you. A woman in her sixties comes out from the door behind the counter and you both give her a bow. She smiles and walks from around the counter.

“Hi, you’re Y/N, right?” she greets. “Yes, ma’am. What happened?” you ask and she sighs. “One of our gardeners got into a minor accident and another two have been called back to their hometowns for family emergencies. Given the lack of manpower right now, my grandson and I won’t be able to finish carrying out your order in time for the wedding. We’ve received a lot of orders lately, because so many people want to get married in spring. We’re really sorry because we wanted to arrange for your wedding as well but we probably won’t be able to do it.” 

You turn to look at Seokjin but he’s thinking deeply. “We can recommend a few other flower shops that would be able to do rush orders, if you want,” the woman suggests. “How hard is it to arrange flowers for a wedding?” Seokjin blurts out and you and the woman turn to him. 

“Well, it’s not that hard, but it’s a lot of work. Why do you ask?” the woman answers. “Maybe we can help out? Our friends really wanted this flower shop, because the groom has been buying flowers for the bride since they first started dating. Maybe you know them? Yoongi?” Seokjin replies.

A look of realization and recognition crosses the woman’s face. “Oh, Yoongi! Yes, he’s always bought bouquets here. He’s great friends with my grandson, Jisung. And oh my goodness, I apologize, I thought you were the ones getting married,” she chuckles, embarrassed. You and Seokjin laugh awkwardly.

“No, we’re just the wedding planners,” Seokjin answers. “Slash best man and maid of honor,” you add and Seokjin nods. 

The woman laughs in understanding. “Well, of course you can. But only if it’s not getting in the way of your own personal schedules. We’re trying to look around for people looking for a part-time job for spring break, so maybe we can find more help,” the woman answers.

“I can leave the office anytime as long as I don’t have any meetings to attend,” Seokjin says and you look at him. “I thought you were still busy this month? You’re replacing your dad in a few months.” Seokjin shrugs. “It’s fine. He knows I’m busy with Yoongi’s wedding so he’s kind of given me a break.”

“Okay, then. I’ve been kind of chill at work lately so I guess we could make it work?” You turn to the woman. Her eyes shine brightly. “Oh, that’s lovely! You’d really help us out?”

You smile and nod. “It’s the least we could do for you and for our friends. We just want their special day to be perfect.” 

The woman holds onto your hands and gives it a squeeze. “Of course, you must know how that feels, right? Wanting your special day to be perfect,” she glances at Seokjin and you both realize what she’s saying.

“Oh!” you wave your hands in front of you frantically. “Uh,” Seokjin says at the same time. “We, uh, we’re not exactly...dating,” you trail off.

The woman looks between you two and blinks. “Really? I thought you were even married.”

You turn to Seokjin and back at the woman. You purse your lips and shake your head slowly. The woman looks at the two of you again before giggling. “Ah, my bad. Sorry!”

You and Seokjin can only give her an awkward laugh in return.

vi.

“Tomorrow’s the big day, huh?” Seokjin starts a conversation and you hum in response, taking the used plates to the sink as he clears up the table. “I didn’t think we’d be capable of pulling it off, honestly,” you comment and he chuckles. The past three months went by so fast, you could hardly catch your breath. And how you managed to somewhat ignore Seokjin whilst continuing to work by his side for the wedding amazed you. 

“Yeah, me too.”

Neither of you say anything after that.

vii.

You’re holding back tears as you listen to Yoongi say his wedding vows. Yoongi’s standing in front of the altar, Y/F/N’s hands clasped in one as the other held the mic.

“Y/F/N, you’ve been there for me since the day I was late to music history and the only seat available was next to you. I was up the night before composing my shitty songs and you were kind enough to lend me your color coded notes with all those cute little borders and banners. I couldn’t even arrange my music sheets properly and here, this pretty girl was so organized to have her sheets arranged in a folder and her notes neatly written. You stayed up with me all the time, and you helped me out of my writing slump every time. Y/F/N, now that you’ve given me the honor to spend the rest of my life with you, I promise to be there for you always, like you always have been for me. I’ll write songs about you until the day I die and I’m going to make you laugh for as long as I can make stupid jokes. I don’t ever want to make your heart ache and if I break that promise, I’m giving you the rights to sabotage my compositions. That’s how much I love you,” Yoongi says, and everyone’s both laughing and crying by the time he’s finished, especially Y/F/N. 

You wipe your tears away and from across you, your eyes lock with Seokjin. He gives you a smile and you can only smile back at him, ignoring the way your heart sped up. Just a little bit.

The wedding ceremony soon ends and after taking the mandatory wedding photos, Seokjin leads everyone to the reception while you sit down on one of the church pews. 

“I don’t think I’ve sat down to talk to you in such a long time,” Namjoon speaks up from behind you and you turn around. He sits down beside you and you smile at him.

“I’ve been really busy, I guess.” He nods at your answer. 

“You should talk to him. Properly, I mean,” Namjoon corrects himself and you look at him. “What?”

“Hyung. You’re both running away from each other,” Namjoon continues. “You’re scared to face each other, because you don’t know what or how much you could lose.” Namjoon turns to face you.

“Just try talking to him about how you feel, Y/N. You’ve both been busy with the wedding so maybe you haven’t really had the time to think about your feelings, but I don’t think you need to think too deeply about it,” Namjoon begins.  “You met in the summer before college. You hit it off really well and the fact that you were lucky enough to have been accepted into the same college way before you even met made things even better. You both lived in the same apartment since your first year and until now, you still do. He makes you laugh, he understands you better than anyone else,” Namjoon pauses. You stay silent, and Namjoon decides to continue. “He loves you and you love him. What’s there to be afraid of?”

“Okay, in 3, 2, 1!” Y/F/N tosses her bouquet and all her bridesmaids giggle and move to the side, leaving you in the center. “Wait, what-” the bouquet lands in your hands and everyone cheers, rendering you speechless.

“Hey, wait! Is this even legal?” You protest and the crowd laughs. Y/F/N laughs hysterically, taking the microphone Jimin hands to her. “Oh, come on Y/N! You’ve been complaining about how single you’ve been since college! This is my gift to you for planning all of this for me and Yoongi,” she teases while you bury your face in the bouquet.

“Now, onto the next part,” Y/F/N grins and sits down on a chair. Yoongi laughs before walking over to her. He whispers something in her ear and Y/F/N nods, laughing. He kneels in front of her and pulls the garter down and the guests all cheer.

“Oh, boy.” You decide to take a break and head over to your favorite part of the room, the buffet table. You eye the chocolate fondue and grab yourself a plate, selecting all the desserts you’ve been lusting over since the food tasting when people start cheering and laughing from the front of the room. You turn around when you recognize Hoseok’s loud laughter and the sound of someone falling to the floor, most probably Jeongguk.

When you turn around, Taehyung’s already running towards you. Sensing the possibility that he’s going to drag you, you put down your plate of desserts just as Taehyung reaches you.

“You’re so dead,” He cackles, pulling onto your wrist just like you had expected. “Kim Taehyung, I’m wearing heels! Calm down!” Taehyung doesn’t stop dragging you and when you reach the front, you’re greeted with all of the boys and the bridesmaids laughing and cheering. An empty chair is positioned next to the laughing newlywed couple and beside the chair is none other than Kim Seokjin, holding the wedding garter in his hand. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” you mutter and Jeongguk excitedly takes you from Taehyung, leading you to the chair where he pushes you down to sit. 

“Jeon Jeongguk,I swear-” he shuts you up with a chocolate coated marshmallow (where did that come from?) and you have no choice but to eat the fluffy sweet.

Seokjin appears in front of you and suddenly you’re self-conscious, the marshmallow making your cheeks puff up. Despite his red ears, Seokjin still laughs at the sight of your cheeks. He kneels down and your heartbeat picks up. He looks back up at you and your eyes lock.

Lifting your foot gently, he slips the garter on and pulls it up your leg. Your cheeks heat up and if it weren’t for the camera clicks and flashes going off around the two of you, you would’ve forgotten people were watching. 

Contain yourself, Y/N. You remember your sophisticated British classmate, Alexandra, from college. It was something she would often say to you, whenever you passed by the cute athletes on the field. It was a sucker that she didn’t finish her studies in Korea, since she had to go back home to the UK.

Your thoughts are interrupted when the garter moves past your knee. Seokjin stops momentarily to look at you and you just nod at him. You don’t know what happens next, except that Y/F/N suddenly pulls you up and a slow song starts playing. 

“Go dance with your future groom,” she whispers in your ear before she’s whisked away by Yoongi. You look at them fondly and you aww at the sight before you, Y/F/N tearing up as Yoongi led their dance, words leaving his lips and his eyes bright. You can only guess whatever he’s saying to be full of love and you can’t help but smile brightly.

A gentle hand rests on your lower back and Seokjin stands beside you. You look at him and lock eyes. Cliché as it may be, the world around starts to blur out and you can only focus on your best friend.

“Is it too much to ask for a dance?” he smiles softly and offers his hand out for you. Placing your hand in his, you shake your head. “If it’s you, never.”

Seokjin smiles, and leads you to the dance floor along with the other couples. Your eyes meet Namjoon’s and he smiles at you. You smile back, before turning to fully face your best friend.

“Hi,” he begins and you laugh softly. “Hello.” Seokjin sways the both of you slowly and you sigh. 

“I’m sorry I tried to stop talking to you,” you apologize and Seokjin nods. “I was confused and scared, I didn’t know what to do about my feelings.”

“I wish you would’ve talked to me about it, but I understand. We were both cowards, let’s not deny that.” He replies and you nod. “But,” Seokjin tightens his hold around your waist and pulls you closer.

“I’m also sorry for not telling you things sooner. I’m sorry for keeping things from you,” he says, making you furrow your eyebrows in confusion. “What do you mean? You’ve never kept anything from me.”

Seokjin sighs and looks down. “That’s where you’re wrong,” he looks up again. “I kissed you. Long before Chanyeol ever did,” he admits. You can only look at him and he decides to just tell you everything. “Baekhyun’s party, the end of first semester of our third year in college,” he starts. “You were passed out on the couch and I had to carry you all the way home. I was about to tuck you in when you somehow regained consciousness. You were feeling a bit hot so I told you to get changed. I’d already taken your socks and jacket off then. You wanted me to help you get up so I did but you wouldn’t budge,” Seokjin watches your reaction but he can’t get anything out of the stare you gave him.

“After a few more tries, you finally decided to get up but I pulled on you too hard and you ended up kissing me. I thought you’d just move back but you kissed me and I kissed you back. I already had feelings for you back then,” Seokjin notices the light pink shade dusting your cheeks and it definitely wasn’t because of the makeup. “But when you woke up the next day, you only remembered Chanyeol.” 

“Jinnie,” you whisper and he chuckles softly. “You called me Jinnie that night too, and I guess because I always loved it when you called me that, I badly wanted to confess to you.”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” 

“I was stupid, I was scared that maybe I’d lose you if I told you how I felt. And, as a roommate. I couldn’t pay for the rent on my own you know,” Seokjin jokes, trying to lighten the mood. You laugh and poke his cheek.

“You were stupid. I remembered the kiss, but I was scared that it meant nothing to you and you were only being nice. That’s why I said I only remembered Chanyeol because I was hoping to get a reaction out of you.”

Seokjin throws his head and lets out a whine. “Ugh, you mean to tell me we could’ve possibly been engaged or married by now if we weren’t such cowards in college?!”

You giggle at his annoyed look and nod. “Yes, you dummy. I can’t believe us,” you say and Seokjin huffs. “I can’t believe I let you go on all those dates with Chanyeol,” he pouts and your heart starts to ache for his adorable pout. “He even kissed you, held your hand and hugged you for an entire semester!” Seokjin starts to rant, and you laugh, knowing he’s not going to stop talking.

“How could I let him buy you that shitty coffee at the café when I knew how to make it better than those baristas? How could I let him give you those flowers that wilted after a day-” your lips shut him up and he stops talking.

His eyes widen and his ears redden again. “You’re talking too much, Jinnie. I didn’t even like Chanyeol that much,” you lead him away from the dance floor and out onto the balcony outside.

The cool spring breeze blows softly in the night and before you could even react, Seokjin drapes his coat around you. He rubs your covered shoulders in an attempt to warm you up and you smile at him. He makes you face him and before you could say anything, he leans down and kisses you softly.

You smile into the kiss and wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. His arms wrap around your waist tightly. He tilts his head so he can kiss you better and if it weren’t for his arms around you, your knees would’ve given up on you.

“I love you,” Seokjin whispers, when you break away for air. His lips are still brushing against yours gently, and you give him another short, sweet kiss.

“I love you too.”

vii.

1 year later

“Gucci, come here!” You call out, and the overly energetic Maltese puppy jumps onto your lap, his tail wagging excitedly and his tongue sticking out. You stroke his hair and scratch his head happily, the puppy leaning into you.

“Ah, you’re so adorable, baby,” you coo, nuzzling your face in his neck. You hear the door opening and a smile crawls up your face. 

“Aish, I can’t believe I bought my girlfriend a puppy for her birthday so she wouldn’t feel lonely when I’m away and now I have to fight said puppy for my girlfriend’s attention because apparently she loves him more than she loves me,” Seokjin announces, walking into your apartment. 

You remove your head from Gucci’s neck and let go of the puppy, who barks happily and runs over to Seokjin, jumping up and down. “Hey, you’re home,” you greet and Seokjin bends down to greet Gucci with a few head scratches.

He walks over to you and you lean up, kissing him on the lips. “I missed you,” he whispers and you grin, pulling him on the couch. You lie back down and he crawls on top of you, his arms resting on both sides of your head. He presses a kiss to your forehead, and you lean up to kiss his jaw.

“Can you not go away for more than a week?” You ask, cupping his face as he adjusts the two of you on the couch so that you’re cuddling. You lie on his arm as he entangles your legs together.

“I’ll try not to, but I really can’t help it, babe.” He kisses you again and you hum, burying your face in his neck.

You love it. You love the lazy days with Seokjin on weekends, but you love the days that he comes home after business trips more. “What did you wanna do this weekend?” He asks after a few minutes of comfortable silence and you look up at him. You purse your lips and look up in thought.

“I don’t know, but we have to take Gucci to the groomer’s though,” you say and the puppy comes running back, jumping on the couch to squeeze himself in between you. Seokjin groans and you giggle.

“He’s being too much. He’s had you all to himself the entire week!” Seokjin whines. You kiss his nose fondly. “I love you more though,” you point out and Seokjin grins.

“I miss sneaking into weddings with you,” you sigh, and Seokjin rubs your back comfortingly.

“Wanna sneak into another wedding again?” Seokjin sits up, pulling you up with him. Your eyes sparkle and Seokjin’s heart starts to pick up its pace. He nods and you squeal.

“Really? Where? When?” you ask and Seokjin reaches into his pocket.

“It’s not happening anytime soon, but I think it’s happening in 8 months or so,” he says and you look surprised. “Wow, how did you know about it this early? Is it someone you know?”

His hand comes out of his pocket and you raise an eyebrow at his clenched fist. “I don’t, but I’m just hoping it happens in 8 months,” he says and you laugh. “Jinnie, you’re not making any sense.” He smiles and lets out a shaky exhale.

You gasp because Seokjin’s suddenly kneeling in front of you, and in his hand is a velvet box. He opens the small box and a shiny, diamond ring greets you.

“I met you in the summer, when we both snuck into a wedding. We didn’t know each other that well but we clicked and the next thing I knew, I was sharing an apartment with you the entire time I was in college,” Seokjin begins, his eyes watering slightly. 

“You kissed me first when we were in our third year, and you still kissed me first last year when we finally had the guts to admit we were both in love with each other. Y/N, I ruined Yoongi’s proposal last year so that’s why I’m doing this here, and now. I don’t trust myself enough to be able to pull off something extravagant like Yoongi. But I hope this is enough to let you know that I really want to spend the rest of my life with you. I don’t wanna sneak into weddings anymore, because I want to have our own. I know a year ago I said I was worried about ending up alone and raising fifty cats, but you told me that I already have you and Gucci isn’t a cat.” You chuckle, the tears falling down.

“Do you wanna do the same things we did for Yoongi and Y/F/N’s wedding last year again but this time, for our wedding, with me? Will you marry me?” Seokjin asks and you don’t waste another moment. You kneel down in front of him, nodding and hugging him.

“Yes, Seokjin. Yes, I’ll marry you,” you answer and Seokjin wastes no time to slip the ring on your finger. He brings your hand to his lips and presses a soft kiss there, his tears falling on your knuckles. You let out a watery laugh, and he looks up, kissing you on the lips.

“I love you, Y/N. I always have.”

“I love you too, Seokjin. Let’s get married.”

Gucci barks up in excitement and your moment is broken as the puppy starts to wiggle his way in between you, again.

“Are we gonna raise fifty dogs instead?” You ask Seokjin and he shakes his head immediately, making you laugh.

“I’m not competing for your love and attention with 50 dogs, Y/N.” Seokjin states firmly.

“But, Jinnie!”

“No.”

“Can we have a kid instead?”

“Well, I can’t say no to that.”

“I love you, Kim Seokjin.”

⇒ let me know what you think or hmu with anything under the sun here!

[lightsandlostbells]

Skam Austin season 2, episode 1 reaction

Finally, Skam Austin returns, this time without Julie Andem behind the wheel. Honestly, no matter your opinion on this version of Skam, I’m actually quite curious as to where they’re going with this. Noorhelm, American-style? In the #MeToo era??? Will this season be a pleasant surprise and a sensitive rewrite of the original season, or will it just raise my blood pressure? 

Episode 1

Clip 1 - Less dance, more cupcakes please

Big establishing shots of Austin and Bouldin High, a “national outstanding high school” according to a banner. Abby talking a selfie with her girls. Tyler and his boyfriend sloppily kissing??? Congrats on being the first gay couple to get the S2 opening clip makeouts! Also, just gotta say, nice that a gay couple can engage in the same PDA as a straight pairing at a high school in a red state, although Austin’s less conservative than a lot of Texas.

Megan and Grace observe the makeout, as well as Shay sitting by herself on the stairs. Megan feels bad for Shay. When Grace asks why, Megan says she’d feel bad if Grace had a boyfriend. HMMM FORESHADOWING. Also, gay. Megan, the solution is to go be Shay’s girlfriend so she’s not alone. (For real, I have kinda mixed feelings on Megan and Shay actually getting together, because while I love their longing looks and hand holding, Shay betrayed Megan’s confidence in a huge way that would require tons of effort to repair the relationship, and I can only really buy it during a Shay season where there’s lots of focus on them. And I think it’s more likely they’ll give Shay an Even who’s brand new. But I wouldn’t object if there was a good story arc for Megan and Shay!)

Grace thinks Tyler’s boyfriend has a long tongue, Megan thinks Marlon’s is longer … well, that statement feels loaded. Like, we-won’t-need-Jonas’-Blue-Monday-power-walk kinda loaded.

Megan and Shay exchange an awkward wave. Almost a year later and things still aren’t normal, I guess. Shay fucked it up. 

Josefina has tried to do her own hijab, I guess? Zoya helps her do it properly. It’s really cute. Jo is my MVP of this show. I adore her. They need to make sure to do Shay and Zoya seasons on time so we can squeeze in a Jo season before they graduate.

Kelsey runs up. She made it onto the Kittens! I guess that’s one way to not have a dance team anymore. Some of the Kittens got busted for cheating on tests and got kicked off the team and L M A O obviously this wasn’t planned but I love this development happening now with the college admissions cheating scandal featuring Felicity Huffman and Aunt Becky.

Jo wants to tattoo Kelsey’s eyebrows, continuing the thread of her using Kelsey’s face as her cosmetic guinea pig from the first season.

Kelsey is excited because she can be on both the Kittens and the girl squad dance team. LMAO, so that WAS a thing. Did they actually dance??? It sounds like it. Apparently the team unofficially disbanded when Grace stopped going to the games and parties to focus on the school newspaper.

But I do love Grace being on the school paper; I worked for my campus newspaper so I am unreasonably excited to see where that goes. I’m assuming Noora’s Constitution Day article will become a column that Grace/(Daniel) writes for the newspaper?

Grace says she loves working at the newspaper and Kelsey tries to guilt her because it’s junior year and it’s the year colleges look at, you need to have extracurriculars. You can’t just be good, you have to be amazing. Well, that’s true, junior year is a big deal and the pressure to have a million extracurriculars is real. But lmao, newspaper is an extracurricular, as Grace points out. Kelsey thinks Grace needs more than “repetitive feminist essays” and OK, rude, and I also feel personally attacked. But if you’re going to get on Grace’s ass, Kelsey then what are your other “amazing” extracurriculars? By the same logic, wouldn’t you need more than dance teams? (I should not expect logic from Kelsey when it comes to dance teams, I know. Or Daniel.)

Jo gives this conversation the attention it deserves, which is minimal, because she has a cupcake. Her priorities are accurate. She says it’s the best cupcake in Austin so her search is over. Lmao, that Instagram content paid off. Now she should take on her quest for other top desserts. Megan can assist her in finding the best smoothie in Austin.

They’re talking about spring break. Kelsey needs to get her body ready, a hint toward her body image issues and concerns over her weight. Then Daniel’s voice comes out of nowhere to tell Grace that juniors can’t park in the senior lot. Grace says it’s not a big deal, Daniel says it is. Zoya, BLESS HER, is like, “So what are you going to do? Kick our ass?” YESSSSSSS someone besides Grace is not taking Daniel’s shit. 

It is downright uncomfortable how much Kelsey is trying to cozy up to Daniel playing hall monitor and how Daniel just ignores her when she’s right there to flirt with Grace. He says he hasn’t seen Grace in a while. At first I thought they did have their infamous date during the long hiatus - can you imagine not including that scene in a Noorhelm remake - but as it turns out, it still hasn’t happened. He asks about Grace’s boyfriend, and Kelsey blows Grace’s cover by saying Grace doesn’t have a boyfriend. Grace tries to save it by saying it’s her ex. So that’s how she got Daniel off her back. You know, if you lie about a fake boyfriend, that should be a giant clue to back off, dude. But instead Daniel knows she’s single so you know he’s gonna go after Grace again.

Kelsey tells Daniel she’s a Kitten and wants to take a pic with him. God, this is cringe-worthy. Someone stop Kelsey from doing anything. Ever. And it is so deeply awkward how the girls just stop and watch as Kelsey snaps some selfies of her with Daniel. In front of Grace.

Something super interesting in the comments: a few people commented how it didn’t feel like a Julie Andem clip. I assume people who recognize Julie Andem by name are fairly involved in the fandom, but I’m not sure how widespread the knowledge of Julie’s departure was. I wonder if they guessed it on their own.

Clip 2 - First rule of being an Eskild: never lock your door

Grace is cutting up vegetables for dinner. And dancing. I like they had her do this, it’s goofy and humanizing, and in line with her characterization from season 1. Noora would sing to Justin Bieber, Grace loves dancing like a fool. The irony of course being that Grace doesn’t give a fuck about the dance team, lol. She dances for herself and HERSELF ONLY (and sometimes Megan, when Megan needs a pick-me-up).

She talks to Megan, who is with Marlon. Megan told Marlon about what happened with Grace and Daniel, so errrr, thanks Megan? But Grace says she’s going to tell Kelsey everything, presumably about her and Daniel’s deal, so Daniel won’t have anything over her head. Daniel holding something over Grace’s head? Grace thinking Daniel might tell Kelsey something incriminating? Trust is an essential foundation of a relationship, just saying. 

Megan asks Marlon for his opinion and this dude clearly could not give a single shit about Grace and Daniel and Kelsey, he just says that if a girl isn’t into you, you just leave her alone. Not looking at the phone (and Grace) at all, just giving Megan some Looks, in my opinion. Based on later clips where he’s got a new girl, I think he’s trying to communicate that he no longer has feelings for Megan, but that Megan keeps hanging around and clinging to him. That would go along with Megan not getting it and saying maybe the guy doesn’t want to be left alone, showing she doesn’t get it (right after Marlon says “I don’t see why he doesn’t get that”). Also Marlon seems to be checking his phone during this chat so he’s not fully invested - my mind went to Jonas looking up other girls with Eva during the original version of this clip.

I will say, good on Marlon for knowing to leave girls alone if they don’t want you. Which is more than I can say for some characters in the Skam universe. Marlon’s probably my least favorite Jonas so this is a point in his favor, even if it is a low bar, lol. 

But also IDK if he’s being Woke or if he’s just swapping out Daniel and Grace for him and Megan and hoping Meg gets the picture.

Megan thinks Grace doesn’t want to be left alone and Grace goes into a rant about how Daniel isn’t her type, he’s not smart, doesn’t read, needs to check his white male privilege etc. Tbh it’s kinda cringy and on the nose in execution, like all of that is true and they’re solid reasons for Grace to not want Daniel, but I feel like they’re just stacking up ideas to be debunked about him. We’ll probably learn that Daniel is actually some sensitive dude who reads books and has political opinions and is a secret genius or whatever.

Grace notices her pasta is gone and waltzes into her cousin Eve’s room while Eve is engaged in some foreplay with her lady guest. Gee, Grace, that’s awfully bold considering you didn’t know what state of undress they’d be in. At least their underwear is still on … and Eve’s shoes … why does she have shoes on?? 

Anyway, LESBIAN ESKILD. Eve immediately establishes that she is some sort of hipster artist and kicks out Grace so she can go back to hooking up with her girl.

Daniel texts Grace that she’s cute when she gets caught, and thanks her for sending him her class notes when he was in the hospital. What was he in the hospital for? I don’t think that was stated on SM, or did I just miss it? (It’s on the Bouldin Beat Instagram: he had a football injury.) Grace said there’s no need to thank her because the teacher asked her to. He makes a joke abut football players not being able to read, which makes Grace smile, so you know ... she’s not so opposed to him as she lets on. But then he suggests they hang out tomorrow and her amusement fades, because that’s pushing things too far. We end before Grace answers.

Clip 3 - Why are we still talking about Daniel? Zoya’s words, not mine

They’re at SXSW for Marlon’s show. The banner says SX Sessions. I was confused as to why Marlon’s garage band would be playing here but looking at the banner for the event, I see something about all Austin bands, so if it’s an event featuring local talent, it makes more sense as to why Clout is playing.

A girl is talking to Marlon. Grace notices and seems to check in with Megan. Who does look great, by the way, in her leather jacket, her peer-reviewed ensemble. Megan’s still hung up on Marlon after almost a year, it seems. But also … lol, barely anyone wants them back together. They’re one of the least popular Eva/Jonas pairings. Possibly the least.

Kelsey is still talking about Daniel because he texted her and invited them to Penetrator Jo’s beach house for spring break. Grace is like mmmm … that sounds far away. I mean, would you want to be in her shoes, stuck at a beach house with the guy who won’t take no for an answer, where people will be drinking, where you probably couldn’t relax and even go swimming because that dude is definitely going to be looking at you in your swimsuit? Megan tries to help Grace by saying Marlon invited them all to a party. Josefina wants to go to be around mostly naked guys while they are also mostly naked. Kelsey and Zoya do not seem to be happy with the mostly naked part. Grace is like, we can just stay at my place and bake cookies instead! That would be my preferred option.

Kelsey wants some quality time with Daniel (is any time with Daniel quality time)and guilts Grace into going. I love that she’s like “We can talk about the dance team in the car” as if that would make Grace want to go. Grace reluctantly agrees and Kelsey tells Daniel the good news. He responds right away. He also texts Grace right away that they’ll be hanging out. No one notices the suspicious timing of the texts.

Kelsey wants to know if Daniel might like her, Zoya wants to know why we’re still talking about Daniel. THANK YOU. Megan goes off to talk to Marlon and block that girl from getting too close to him, like she literally squeezes between them. Zoya lays out what a rude ass Daniel was to Kelsey and Kelsey is like, but he genuinely apologized!!! And she’s a Kitten now!!! Kelsey loves how direct Daniel is and how he knows what he wants. Yeahhhh, about that. He does go after what/who he wants. It’s just not you.

Also, lol, they conveniently didn’t have to film an actual concert for this scene. 

Clip 4 - Newspaper time!!!

Grace is doing newspaper stuff at school with a guy (Nic) and Poonam. Poonam!!!!  That girl spoke her first line and I remembered how much I enjoyed her overachieving ridiculousness.

Kelsey texts the girls that she had a dream where Daniel asked her to prom. She was wearing her Kittens uniform in the cafeteria and Daniel came up, knelt, and offered a dozen roses. Lol, I don’t think Daniel would do that shit even if he did like Kelsey. But also … Kelsey. Dear. You’re so embarrassing. Being a Kitten is not going to make you a Daniel magnet.

They talk about the launch, so I guess the newspaper is a new thing? Or they’re adding a new feature? Poonam is nervous about the launch and what people will think of her. Grace says she doesn’t care what people think of her. (Or so she thinks ... I think Grace certainly wants people to think she doesn’t care and that she’s strong and independent, for example.) Poonam says if it fails she’ll pretend not to know Grace. Lmao, classic Poonam.

Grace slides over to Nic, the dude who’s there. According to the Bouldin Beat Instagram, he’s the cartoonist for the paper, but their conversation makes me think he does some graphics design, too. He’s listening to a Hamilton mixtape. Grace didn’t know he likes Hamilton, so she obviously didn’t see that Bouldin Beat IG post where it says Nic has the Hamilton soundtrack on heavy rotation. She brings up that her friend Kelsey likes the Hamilton mixtape. (I’m sorry but LMAO, because on the one hand I do find that totally believable, but on the other hand, my God, imagine someone with Kelsey’s level of racial sensitivity being a Hamilton fan.) Nick knows Kelsey and thinks she’s funny. So I think either he’s going to be the Magnus, maybe, as far as being Kelsey’s eventual love interest (although ... lol, see above comment about Kelsey’s level of racial sensitivity), or Grace will see him as a potential love interest for Kelsey and try to hook them up to get Kelsey’s mind off Daniel.

Shay comes in. It is instantly awkward. Grace: “I like your hair.” Shay: “It’s not real.” Lmao. I missed you, too.

However! In the most depressing development ever, Shay is here to see Nic. He gets up and kisses her on the mouth. It is bleak. Shay looks so not enthusiastic. She was staring at Grace in a pretty hard way, too, what’s that about? Did she know Grace saw her texts and showed them to Megan?

Shay’s “BYE” is passive-aggressive as hell. Grace sits there in shock as Poonam is like, they seem like a cute couple. LMAO GOD.

Just throwing this out there: best acted scene of the season so far, however brief. The power of La’keisha Slade.

Anyway. NOOOOOOO. Shayyyyyyy. It’s not unexpected, considering the trajectory of the Isak character in S2, but I thought, since Shay seemed to have an awareness of her sexuality at the end of S1 - she knows she likes girls and she was OK with telling Tyler about it - that maybe we could skip this stage. There’s something really dark about this, too, because Tyler is out there making out with dudes, it’s not like she thinks her friend group is completely homophobic (and yes, people can view gay guys and lesbians differently and have varying levels of acceptance, but I doubt that’s the case with Shay’s friends) so it’s not just about putting up a show for her friends.

What does Tyler think about Shay dating a guy? He’s not the nicest guy overall but he does care about Shay, and he knows she likes girls, possibly that she likes only girls depending on what she told him in the past. Now I’m wondering if Shay started dating Nic in part because Tyler has his boyfriend now, and Shay presumably feels like she’s left out, as Megan said. Damn. Shay needs a hug in any case.

Clip 5 - Cookie baking

Grace’s J. Didion (as in writer Joan Didion) sweatshirt is a nice touch and exactly the kind of thing I think her character would wear.

I enjoy Eve on principle because lesbian Eskild fuck yeah, but I also feel like her delivery is very ... TV-ish. Like someone who has watched a lot of teen dramas and is channeling the same flow/energy of how those shows present dialogue. I don’t think she’s bad, it’s not that, it’s just more when watching this show I feel like I am watching a typical scripted TV show rather than the very natural Skam style - not just with Eve, a lot of the show, even compared to the first season. I just thought of it with Even because when she entered here, it felt more like a wacky TV neighbor kinda entrance, like she was Kramer or something. Is that because Julie isn’t working on the show anymore?

Anyway, Eve tells Grace about some girl who is lighting dildos on fire and that’s the real story here, I want the clip about the dildo pyre.

Eve sees a text from Daniel on Grace’s phone and says he sounds like a blast. I refuse to believe this lesbian would be impressed by Daniel in the fucking slightest.

He did send a cute dog picture to Grace so that’s one thing he has going for him. Grace has a cute dog, too. If their romance was just them walking their dogs, I could warm up to that. Gradually.

Grace says Daniel is some stuck-up asshole and Eve looks him up on her phone, saying she knows him. His brother was in her grade, a wild athlete who broke records, and his sister had some tragedy attached to her. The mention of tragedy gives Grace pause.

Actually, a point in Skam Austin’s favor: if they talk about toxic masculinity and rape culture in high school/college athletics and how jocks are favored and get let off the hook for heinous actions, that would be extremely culturally relevant. I mean, a football player in Texas? Treated like a god. And there have been some high profile rape cases involving athletes. Daniel’s brother has likely graduated and gone on to college, maybe playing college football if he was that good, but it would be a way to make the S2 sexual assault storyline even more suited to American culture.

Clip 6 - Daniel’s going to be on Investigation Discovery one day, mark my words

The girls are at Grace’s house. They must have had a sleepover. There’s a nice nod to OG when the girls mention using a Ouija board the night before. So I guess we’re not getting that cabin episode (understandable because American school timelines would not allow for it, probably). Jo was afraid the ghosts tried to pluck her unibrow. NOOOOO GHOSTS, LEAVE IT ALONE. IT’S MAGNIFICENT.

Grace comes out with nachos and offers them to the girls. Kelsey looks at that plate and is like, shoot, I can’t do cheese, or chips, or beans. And I know this is Kelsey and she has an eating disorder, but like … people have legit problems with cheese and beans, lol. To her credit, Grace doesn’t make Kelsey eat the nachos or call her out. She offers to make Kelsey a kale salad or a turkey wrap, but Kelsey shuts that down, too. (She was also doing jumping jacks while the other girls were reminiscing about ghosts, just saying.)

Megan is upset because Marlon left her on read, probably because he has that new girl, not that Megan knows yet, and Daniel is texting Grace about when she’s leaving. Daniel then texts Kelsey the same thing. Grace texts Daniel to stop using Kelsey to get to her. Daniel is like, wouldn’t have to if you’d answer me! Grace says he’s messed up. I mean, yeah. He is messed up. Grace doesn’t owe him a response, sorry. 

While the other girls are talking, Kelsey mentions that she didn’t pack a swimsuit because she doesn’t like swimming, while Jo says Kelsey loves swimming, so another hint about Kelsey’s body image problems.

Daniel tries to call Grace and she declines the call, so then of course he immediately calls Kelsey. Oh my God, it IS messed up for him to do this. It’s so damn manipulative! (I know this all happened in Skam but we get to live this mess all over again, yayyyy.) And of course Kelsey is excited, but then he wants to talk to Grace. Ughhhh.

Daniel says Grace is messed up, and he knows what he’s doing is also messed up, but they had a deal. Oh my God. YOU NEVER OWE SOMEONE A FUCKING DATE. This is such a dangerous idea! You should always be able to back out of a romantic commitment! If Grace had been like “I will buy you something off the Taco Bell value menu if you apologize to Kelsey” and Daniel was calling Grace to be like “I want my fucking cheesy rice and bean burrito already” then I would find that more sympathetic than this. But dating is something you should NEVER have to set in stone, sorry, and I think this is where some of the split comes between Daniel/William defenders and his haters, because some people think a deal is a deal and some people (like me) think a date should not be ironclad under any circumstances. That mentality contributes to rape culture. (The disconnect between S2′s sexual assault storyline and William’s behavior is wild, tbh. But this is discourse that has been hashed out a million times already.)

Daniel whines that he apologized to Kelsey almost a year ago and that Grace made up an imaginary boyfriend so she didn’t have to hold up her end. No, actually Grace making up a fake boyfriend is what women do to get men off their backs because said men will not leave them alone and it’s a sad fact of life. Because men respect other men’s “claim” on their property (aka women) more than women’s ability to say no.

Daniel sounds like a goddamn serial killer when he’s all “just keep your word and go on a date with me.” Grace sounds downright defeated when she agrees. And of course when Grace hands the phone back to Kelsey, Daniel cancels on them for the beach house. Jesus, so we didn’t even get cute girl squad beach antics? Boooooo.

And actually, how shitty is it that he uninvited them to the beach house? I get that William uninvited them to the party, too, but that was just a party. These girls got packed and ready to drive several hours to a beach house, like imagine if they were on the road when Daniel called, or if they’d already spent money on gas and other stuff for a beach trip, or canceled other Spring Break plans with their families or friends to go hang out with these dudes. Beach house was a bigger time/money commitment for them than just a party, and he uninvited them (via a completely obvious lie that he took no effort to hide on social media) just because he got his date out of Grace. Selfish as hell, dude.

Jo complains that there’s too much girl juice happening and not enough sausage, and Megan is like, “You had sausage this morning.” Lmao. Literally all of these girls should embrace the “girl juice” because there is not a single viable male option so far. Nic from the newspaper seems nice but he’s bearding for Shay at the moment.

Good closing song, though (“Nail in My Coffin” by The Kills).

One of the best things about Skam Austin are the comments, and this clip did not disappoint. Some of the highest-rated comments were things like (paraphrased):

“Daniel is being manipulative” 

“Grace doesn’t owe Daniel anything” 

“you can see the fear in Grace’s eyes when she’s talking to Daniel on the phone, red flag” 

“Daniel sounds like he’s threatening her life”

And my utter favorite comment from this clip, verbatim: “daniel reminds me of those guys in criminal minds who call people on the phone and tell them what to do otherwise someone they love will die - aka a creep lmao”

Social Media/General Comments:

I don’t know what the big holdup was with S2 - probably having to do with Julie’s departure - but it was a big mistake to wait so long, imo. I don’t think it was great for building fan momentum, although I notice that the first full episode of S2 has more views already than some of the episodes from last season that have been out for almost a year (not sure if Facebook was hyping this season or not like they did with the series premiere). They’ve also minimized time for future seasons. We can get Shay and Zoya seasons if they get one in for this fall and next spring, provided the show is renewed for those, obviously.

Anyway, Julie’s no longer the director. The director is Phillip J. Bartell, who has a pretty interesting track record: he was the editor on To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before, Dear White People (both film and TV series), and G.B.F. Feels like a decent background for someone to take on Skam; he has experience with teen films and with more diverse fare than just straight white people. He also edited a shit ton of low-budget gay films, most notably the Eating Out series, including directing and writing Eating Out 2: Sloppy Seconds, and I have to include this excerpt from the Wikipedia plot synopsis: The five then start scheming to out Jacob, the closeted leader of the ex-gay ministry, to his mother by tricking him to have sex with Octavio, another member of the ministry, in a portable toilet on wheels. Jacob finally comes out to his mother (after he inadvertently ejaculates on her coat as his sexuality is revealed), and flees with Octavio. 

I did get more of a traditional teen drama vibe from this episode, and I do already miss Julie’s style of filmmaking: it was one of the best things Skam Austin had going for it. However, I’m going to give the sloppy seconds guy a shot. Although admittedly, this season of all seasons is one where I’m most apprehensive about handing the material over to a male director, no matter his track record. (Then again, a woman created Noorhelm in the first place, soooooo.)

I feel like Skam Austin more than other remakes has a large percentage of the viewers who watch the whole episodes rather than the clips, or who don’t understand the real time structure (correct me if other remakes have drastically more viewers for the full episodes than the clips). Each clip is flooded with comments telling the show to make the episodes longer or asking where the rest of the episode is. Tbh I find that really interesting because no doubt Facebook wants Skam Austin to be the hip new way to consume media in real time (I mean, assuming you have not seen the original show) but a large portion of the audience does not want to consume the show this way, lmao. And a lot of them cannot figure out how to watch the show! I blame some of that on the confusing Facebook video format, like the original Skam website felt so clean and easy to follow compared to Facebook’s ... everything.

Prior to the season’s start, there was a lot of SM stuff that set up stuff for this season, such as Jo’s epic quest for the best cupcake, Daniel’s car, the Kitten scandal, Abby is dating some football dude who’s one of Daniel’s friends, etc.

They made a point of it being Daniel’s birthday and him turning 18, I wonder if that will be relevant to the plot at all? Because now he’s legally an adult. Maybe if he beats the crap out of someone, like with the Yakuza guys, it’ll matter because he’ll be charged as an adult vs as a juvenile.

Abby’s new football player boyfriend is named Hunter. He has his own Instagram. I’m not sure why so much focus on this guy? I have nothing against him, just not sure why he of all people has an Instagram, compared to like Poonam or another supporting character. Would he be the Niko character since we already know Daniel has a brother? I guess maybe Daniel could hypothetically get in a fight with him over some Yakuza dude? Will Hunter end up dating one of the girl squad instead of Abby? Or does he not have much of a role except to be another of Daniel and Pen Jo’s social circle, lol?

Some information from the Bouldin Beat Instagram: 

Grace is a staff writer, Poonam is a researcher (???? do they mean copy editor? if she’s researching stuff wouldn’t she just be a staff writer since ... they all do research ...) and Nic is a cartoonist. And Poonam’s full name is Poonam Para, love me that alliteration. (There’s also a Sullivan Smith and a John Jackson.)

Poonam does write the advice column. She manages to include a reference to Frozen in at least one piece of advice, to no one’s surprise, lmao. 

In between reminding students about the 2018 midterms and an active shooter drill, the newspaper took the time to do the most important piece of all, Who Knows Daniel Williamson The Best.

His favorite movie is Dumb and Dumber which is not so subtly a connection to Grace’s IG name (Mary Swanson is a character from that film). So either it’s a thing they genuinely have in common, or he’s been trying to get on Grace’s good side. Or I guess he stalked her, watched the movie, and legit enjoyed it as Isak did with Romeo + Juliet for Even.

Penetrator Jo knows Daniel the best out of those questioned. Hunter does not know Daniel that well. Foreshadowing? Hunter’s a fake friend?

There are lots of horoscopes but I don’t know how to connect them to the characters since I don’t think we know their birthdays.Oh, except Daniel’s a Pisces, but I don’t know if him being so sensitive and “feeling all the feels” fits his personality that well.

The girls took part in the climate strike on March 15 and I do like the show acknowledging youth activism. I’m not sure it’ll play a huge role in the show itself, although frankly it would be a huge missed opportunity to ignore #MeToo considering the content of this season (based on the original).

Meg posted a pic of her with Grace captioned “me and wifey” and I don’t even ship them compared to other Eva/Noora pairings, but that’s just cruel.

There’s a text message and it confused me at first because Daniel says he apologized to Kelsey, and my eyes had glazed over that it was from last June, at the end of season 1. We get a rare glimpse into older texts that happened during a prior season - usually don’t see that with Skams, letting us see what was happening when the previous POV character couldn’t see it.

Anyway, back in the day, Daniel invited Grace for a picnic, she called him a cliche, they bantered, but it seems like she was a little torn about not being into him. He told her he apologized to Kelsey. Eleven days later he asks about their date and Grace says she’s in Dallas all summer and he says that wasn’t part of the deal. She asks if he seriously needs a date as incentive for baseline human decency, GOD, THANK YOU. A Noora finally said it. (Or at this point, it might not be the only Noora who said this. I’m still elated that Grace did.)

In September he texts her “shame about that boyfriend” so either she had a real BF and broke up with him at some point, or she just lied about it. I think it’s possible she said she had someone in Dallas which would be an easy way to keep up the lie. The “my girlfriend who lives in Canada” of Texas. And so that brings us up to now, where he notes she got caught and asks her out again. Daniel, fucking LISTEN to what she said about baseline human decency.

The girls’ group chat is Los Losers, an obvious reference to OG Skam’s girl squad. I got nostalgic as hell reading that, it was a sweet gesture.

I mentioned above that they didn’t stage the actual concert from Clout, which on a practical level I completely understand. But in-universe, it’s pretty far-fetched that there were no concert pics or videos from any of the characters on social media. I guess one of the hazards of Skam’s realism and social media format is that sometimes realism is too expensive to film, lol.

Daniel, Pen Jo, and their crew were all about the beach/spring break selfies this week so LMAO at how people were expecting the girl squad to chill at the beach later and just … that didn’t pan out.

Instead of going to the boys’ beach house, the girls did sheet masks, which is way more fun and also yields terrifying pictures.

If you got this far, thank you for reading!

[sol1056]

sorry if this is a stupid question but why does dw need to have guest writers legally? :3 uwu I love your posts

hey thanks :D alright, I’ll explain best as I can with holiday brain. I am fully aware this may be more information you were expecting. I feel like I should probably put a warning label on my ask box. Objects in reply may appear smaller than they are. Or something like that.

The original Screen Writers Guild formed in the early 30s, and its purpose was to manage/track screen credits (who gets listed as the author of a screenplay). It turned into a professional association, which is sort of like a union but without the bargaining power, until it applied to be a formal union per the NLRB (National Labor Relations Board). Eventually it grew big enough that radio and television writers wanted in, too, and SWG then became the Writers’ Guild of America (actually two sister-unions, one for West and one for East). 

Early on, there was apparently a rule that to join the union, you had to have professional screenwriter credits. But to be hired on a job that would give you those credits… you had to be a member of the union. The sole exception was definitely biased towards the old-boy network: become friends with the producer, and get hired despite your lack of credits. Not so great if you’re a woman or person of color trying to break in.  

At some point the union changed its rules to address this, requiring studios to hire a certain number of freelance screenwriters. One version I’ve been told is that production studios generally need to have 18-20% of the episodes written by non-staff freelancers. An alternate version of expressing this rule is that 2-3 episodes per season must be by non-staff writers, for any show with more than one season under its belt. 

No matter how you break it down, once a company becomes a guild signatory (iow, agrees to abide by union agreements), everything comes under the NLRB oversight. Legal requirement, all that jazz. 

I took the time to go digging, and I think I found the subsections in the 2017 MBA (Minimum Basic Agreement) that covers freelancers hiring requirements. I’m pretty sure it’s article 20.B, “Television.” But it has rather dense legal language like the following, and it’s my day off and I am just not up for decoding this entire thing. 

This is Article 20.B.3.e, parts (1) through (4).

(1) With respect to an episodic series or once-per-weekserial for which more than six (6) episodes, excludingthe pilot, have been ordered, Company shall have theoption of interviewing not less than one (1) freelancewriter for each story commitment which is unassignedat the time of the network program order for a givenbroadcast season. 

For each such interview, Company shall inform thewriter at the beginning of the interview of all storylinesthen in work, provided that if a storyline is confidentialdue to marketing or other considerations, e.g., a"cliffhanger," etc., Company is not required to informthe writer of such storyline.

The number of such interviews may be reduced byone (1) for each freelance assignment made. It isunderstood that the requirement for such interviewshall not be deemed to imply in any way acommitment for employment. 

Company shall furnish the Guild, upon request,written reports containing the name of the Company,the name of the particular series, the date of andnumber of episodes in the network order, the numberof story commitments in the network order, the namesof the freelance writers interviewed, the dates of suchinterviews, and the names of all freelance writersemployed by Company as a result of such interviews. 

In the event the Company records an interview withthe writer, the Company shall furnish a copy ortranscription of such recording to such writer.

(2) In the alternative, in connection with a particularepisodic series, Company shall employ freelancewriters who have not been employed on such seriesin the previous broadcast season, to write not lessthan two (2) stories with option for teleplay in the caseof an initial network program order of thirteen (13)episodes or three (3) stories with option for teleplay,one (1) of which must be exercised, in the case of anetwork program order of twenty-two (22) or moreepisodes of each such series during a givenbroadcast season. In connection with once-per-weekserials, Company shall have the alternative right tocommit to one (1) teleplay per season for each suchserial. 

In the alternative to the first paragraph of Article20.B.3.e.(2) above, the two (2) required stories withoption for teleplay in the case of an initial order ofthirteen episodes may be replaced with one (1)teleplay based on a story provided to the freelancewriter. Further, the three (3) stories with option forteleplay, one (1) of which must be exercised, may, inthe case of a network order of twenty-two (22) ormore episodes, be replaced with two (2) teleplaysbased on stories provided to the writers.

(3) Company shall elect either subparagraph e.(1) ore.(2) above for each broadcast season of a series.However, if Company elects subparagraph e.(1)above and does not generate the levels of freelanceemployment specified in subparagraph e.(2) above,then Company must comply with subparagraph e.(2)in the subsequent season of such series.Subparagraph e.(1) would thereafter be available onlyif the levels of employment specified in subparagraphe.(2) were fulfilled in the immediately prior season ofsuch series. 

(4) The foregoing access provisions under this Article20.B.3. are not applicable to programs producedunder Appendix B of this Agreement.

Maybe we’ll get lucky and there’s a legal brain following me who can point out if I misread or, idk, translate or something. Frankly, I thought the “about 18%-20% of your episodes must be farmed out to non-staff writers” was a lot clearer. Lot less legalese, certainly. 

Or maybe it’s just how things end up working out, once a series is done. At least, when I went through about 8 different series to compare staff writers vs non-staff, the percentages were pretty consistently around 20% written by non-staff freelance. 

(Before you ask, yes, as a matter of fact, I did work for a law firm for several years in college, because it was good money and I got to play researcher at the law library when the law clerks needed extra help. And I got to sit in court and see some amazingly soap-opera-level drama. But that was suit law, and it wasn’t exactly last year that I finished college, so... anyway.)

As a side-note for anyone curious, SWG will also help companies find more diverse writers through programs like the TV Writer Access Project:

The mission of the TV Writer Access Project is to identify excellent diverse writers in order to provide a hiring resource for television writer-producers and increased access to WGAW members from groups that have been historically underemployed in television.

and the Inclusion and Equity committees:

There are nine Inclusion and Equity committees: the Asian American Writers Committee, Committee of Black Writers, Career Longevity Committee, Genre Committee, Latino Writers Committee, LGBTQ+ Writers Committee, Native American & Indigenous Writers Committee, Writers with Disabilities Committee, and the Committee of Women Writers.

In other words, when a company says, “gee, we just couldn’t see to find any women writers or non-white writers or queer writers or disabled writers…” that dog don’t hunt. The union is there to help companies do exactly that, and to make sure that all members – including marginalized community-members with historically higher barriers to entrance – get exposure. 

Who knows, that info could be useful someday. 

[justtryingyaknow]

Hey it's me the anon from earlier... I'm glad to hear you got a round 2 and are feeling a bit better! My au idea was basically that the Reds and the Blues are rival newspapers and that they are battling it out to become the main newspaper locally. You could add in some other factions if you wanted to of course. Idk I just like the concept and I think you have really creative ideas so I wanted to send in the request. Thank you for your time :)

Hello anon! Here is a very casual, slightly longer than expected response to this! I did take some creative liberty because, as recorded, I am a plot whore and I love you’re AU idea but couldn’t find a way to condense! So still rivals, but over more casual setting! Thanks for the request and I hope you enjoy!

Grif’s fingers hover over the keyboard. He’s acutely aware that Simmons is leaning over his shoulder watching his screen, assessing his every word. The sweat on his face forces him to push his glasses up.

“Just type a damn word, Grif!” Simmons breaks, causing Grif to smash the keys ending with a jumble of letters on the otherwise blank document.

“I can’t type when you’re watching me like this! It’s too much goddamned pressure.” Grif pushes back and storms to the box of donuts he brought in this morning.

“You can’t eat right now! You’re going to get the keyboard all sticky with jelly!”

“It’s my keyboard, I can cover it in as much stickiness as I want.”

“What was that?” Donut removes an ear bud perking up.

“Fuck off, Donut!” Grif growls around a mouth of boston creme.

“Yeah, fuck off Donut!” Simmons echoes.

“Fine, at least my segment is written.” Donut pops the ear bud back in. Simmons can’t argue with him about that.

“Just write the fucking segment, Grif. Literally anything. It doesn’t have to be perfect.”

“If Grif’s writing it, it’ll never be perfect.” The team has really done it now. Simmons stands up straight watching Sarge raise from his chair where he’s been sitting quietly (for once). “So, if you want to be the reason we don’t make it to print this week, and there by making us lose to the damn blues, well, be my guest!” His spit flies out, coating Grif/

“Why don’t you just write it, if you’re so freakin’ perfect?” Grif reluctantly tosses the donut, now covered in Sarge’s spittle.

Sarge looks at the computer, as though considering it as a possibility. “Oh? And then I could make ya dinner, and wash your clothes while I’m at it?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Grif makes his way back to the chair.

“Then I could tuck you and your little sister into bed, give you kissies on the forehead?! Huh, soldier?” And there was the spit again.

“I already sat down, just let me type!” Grif swiveled the chair and immediately started cranking out a feature on a new dog park.

“Simmons! Report!” Sarge stands, power posing in the middle of the workroom. He delights in watching his worker bees buzz around; Donut getting ahead on an entertainment piece, Lopez checking the weather and business information, and Simmons red in the face checking the layout for the hundredth time that day.

“Everything is in; we just need 500 words from a certain lazy fatass who put off the article assigned to him two weeks ago.”

“200.”

“You did not write 300 words in just that time.” Simmons sputtered and rushed back to Grif’s computer. “Oh my god.”

“I’m a fucking prodigy, Simmons. Bask in my glory.”

“You did nothing all day!”

“Don’t fight the muse, man… Oh, and grab me a coke.”

“Fuck you. And even if he finishes right now, can we get it to print in time?” At the close of his question, Donut is strapping on rollerblades.

“I can do this, years of rolling around with a bunch of guys is paying off!”

“[Please, just say you were on a men’s roller skating team.]” Lopez doesn’t look up from his computer, only sighing to express his continued discomfort with the rest of the team’s shenanigans.

Across town, the rival newspaper team’s boss pores through the final copy.

“Did you… make this figure up? The average person owns 4 and a half dogs in Blood Gulch? That cannot be possible.” Church sips his coffee while staring at the statistic.

“I did the math, asshole. Caboose counted the dogs in BG and I divided it by the population.” Tucker sips his drink, which is definitely not coffee.

“Do you know anything about outliers? Caboose has like 10 dogs dude. Do you know how much he’s going to skew this shit?”

“So what, do you want me to take it out?” Tucker crosses his arms.

“Eh… You think someone’s going to call us on some bad numbers?”

“My numbers aren’t bad! My numbers are good. I have the best numbers, like 6!” Caboose sips his orange juice out of a mug, trying to fit in with everyone else.

“Yeah, we know. Thanks, buddy. The movie review is good this week, by the way.” Church turns to face him. Tucker would call him out on the kindness, but he knows that Church (despite being an unending asshole) has a somewhat soft spot for Caboose. Caboose beams.

“Ok, so we sending it to print or what?” Tucker is still standing by. “You know the reds probably are running to the shop right now.”

“When did you care about the stupid rivalry?”

“I don’t. I just like the way they all get pissed off, man. It’s fucking comedy gold. Simmons gets all red and starts yelling at Grif, you know he’s all ‘GrIF” Tucker fakes a voice crack, “ This is your fault!’ And Sarge’s face gets all scrunched up and he starts threatening us.”

“You know, it is a pretty good time. Alright, 4 and a half dogs it is. Caboose, take this to the printing press!”

Tucker and Church watch Caboose take off. Neither are in a hurry, but they do want to be there to watch the Red Post’s team explode (like they always do). Church locks up the office front when a pink figure speeds past them.

“Oh shit! Donut got skates?” Tucker watches him speed up to catch Caboose. Neck and neck, they speed toward the printing shop with a paper copy in hand.

“Why don’t we just email it, I fucking hate walking down this stupid street every damn week.” Grif’s voice comes through the office door across the way. Sarge spots the Daily Blue’s Letter team and whips his head toward the race.

“Hoo boy, get ‘im Donut!” Sarge takes off running, and something snaps in Church as he starts speedwalking to keep pace.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me.” Tucker waits for the reds to cross the street and join him. “You idiots actually have a paper this week?”

“Did you idiots even fact check your’s?” Simmons quips back. Tucker looks at the ground, the thought of half a dog running in his mind.

“I’m just saying; it does take a team of 3 to do what you guys do in a team of 5, and we’re always on time. Because Blue’s Letter’s got it baby.”

“What possible joy do you get out of this?” Grif says from the back of the group. “It’s just a fucking job.”

“Who do you think actually made it to press first today?” Simmons pushes his glasses up to try and get a better look, but the fore group has disappeared inside the building. Before anyone can wager a bet, Sarge emerges, triumphant.

“Glory glory to the Red Post! We got in first, cheers to Donut, the wheeled wonder!” Sarge hollers while pulling Donut out the door.

“It was a good run, Caboose!” Donut comforts. “I haven’t had that much fun edging out a guy since last week!”

The staff reunites, Grif and Simmons shoving Tucker lightheartedly while Lopez stays beyond the fray.

“Yeah, yeah, but now you’re just a bunch of assholes standing on the sidewalk screaming, so who’s the real winner.” Church pushes past everyone.

“Ugh, fucking Reds, cockbite!” Grif shouts.

“Drinks on Blues! To the bar!” Sarge starts the chant.

“To the bar!” The rest of the reds respond. The group makes their way to the only bar in town, forcing everyone to suffer through Sarge’s 10 verses of his Red Post Salute song.

[jackdylananderson]

“How to Avoid Getting Lonely on a Solo Roadtrip”, as reviewed by me

Recently, I got an email from one of my favorite newsletters, Roadtrippers. And one article in particular caught my eye: "How to Avoid Getting Lonely on a Solo Roadtrip".

Now, I've noticed something at this point. Many travel sites will have a guest author write up some travel advice and at the tail end, remind you to check out their blog, story, insta, etc. 

The author gets exposure and the travel site gets cheap labor. 

And I don’t have a problem with this at all, if the article has good advice. But today, this advice...this is not my kinda advice.

So let's rip through it. "How to Avoid Getting Lonely on a Solo Roadtrip"

"There were challenges of being on the road, of course; the tediousness of unpacking and repacking my car at every overnight stop, the annoyance of living out of a suitcase, and the nausea that would stir up at the mere thought of eating another McDonald’s french fry. Road trip food is fun at first, but eventually you get sick of eating like a twelve-year-old at a birthday party."

Okay, so the author should learn to:

Minimize.

Organize better.

Eat better. (Or don't, Taco Bell is my favorite mistake). 

"But perhaps more than anything else, I’ll remember the crippling loneliness I never expected to feel."

Crippling loneliness? Seriously? Sure, the road is lonelier. But the other side of that coin is independence and reflection. A chance to find yourself. And at other times, just some simple adventures like gas station buffets or the chatting up locals at the diviest bar in town. 

Tip 1: "Getting enough sleep was crucial"

Dafuq? I’m sorry, does that not apply to literally every human on the planet? Yeah, go for 8 hours. Got it. Check. 

"Something I wish I knew before I started this trip was: Driving takes a lot out of you, both physically and mentally. I had to deal with everything from an aching pelvis to cramps in my calves from pointing and flexing my foot on the gas pedal. My neck and shoulders got sore.

Is this bitch serious? She got injuries WHILE DRIVING??? You just sit there! 

Sure, after a long drive, you will be surprised at how tired you are. That's because you've been stiff and mentally alert the whole time. But I've never heard of someone getting calf cramps by sitting their ass in a VW Beetle for a few hours. Is she driving upside down?!

I also realized the hard way that my daily driving cap was seven hours."

Dang, tough it out, wuss. My buddy Joel and I just drove 2200 miles in 40 hours straight alternating who was driving and who was sleeping in the cramped back. No complaints. :) Also, I'm not sure how any of this advice makes you less lonely...

Tip 2: "Too much screen time made things worse" 

Okay, again, that applies to everyone. Cut back on social media. You're making yourself lonely, jealous, depressed, etc.

"Plus, writing letters felt like a diary entry and helped me get all the icky lonely feelings out (and receiving mail certainly feels more special than a text). Postcards are also great because the ones I received on the trip were memorable souvenirs once it was over."

Okay that's good, now you're sorta getting it. Letters are good. But you're still focusing on what you're missing back home instead of who's in front of you...

"I learned the easiest way to get it was to put a call out on social media. It was as simple as posting “Does anyone in Missoula want to meet for a coffee?” on my Instagram story. I ended up making four new good friends on this trip because they followed me on social media and reached out.”

Bitch, are you serious? You think we all got random instagram followers that we don't know but they wanna swing by and chat when we're in BumFuck Missoula?? I thought we were chilling it on the social media?? How many times did you ask "Does anyone in Cock Springs, Arkansas wanna hang?" Or how about Boston and yet nobody showed up. Girl, I know you got some flakes. Don't pretend it was all hunky dory, Miss I-got-4-new-friends-from-instagram.

"I also asked around my pre-trip friend group—because sometimes a current buddy had a cool cousin in Omaha or a former mentor in Spokane."

YES! Thank you! This is great advice. Asking friends (facebook can help) if they know anyone where you're traveling through or to is almost always worthwhile. Then give them a call and arrange something. 

Tip 4: "People I met on the road were gifts"

Wait, did you finally actually meet some people?!? Were they locals? Cuz that would make sense. If you're moving to a place (the author was checking out prospective cities to move to), you're gonna wanna see what the people are like. 

"When I first started the trip, I avoided making connections because I knew they were only temporary."

Dumb, dumb, dumb...

"I met a few friends using Bumble BFF (surprisingly not as lame as it sounds) and Tinder (sometimes a date turned into a mutual “let’s be friends” situation)..."

I mean, I guess that counts? But what you're really telling me is you were looking for dates or fucks or maybe friends. I'm questioning your use of "mutual", you tease.

"On the romantic front, it was easy to say “why bother” after a first date with someone I really liked when I only had three more weeks in their city."

Called it!

"But one of the best things that happened to me on this trip was someone I dated in Denver saying, “You’re only here for three more weeks? Well, that means we better try to see each other as much as possible before then.” And you know what? I’m glad I didn’t succumb to pessimistic thinking, because the time I spent with his person made my Denver leg of the trip even more special."

You're talking about a fuck buddy, right? Just find a classy way (for the travel site) to say it. Like, “I found several lovers.” Or, “I had plenty of romantic adventures.” Or whatever Gilmore Girls say when they head out on hoe weekend.

Tip 5: "Remember that it takes time"

Hold on. Did you even meet anybody not tryin’ to smash?

Tip 6: "Loneliness, like everything in life, is temporary"

Holy shit. You only met people tryin’ to smash.

Tip 7: "A nonconventional lifestyle comes at a cost."

You gotta be kidding me...

"I gave up certain luxuries—a bed to call my own, home-cooked meals, and, yes, easy access to friends and family—"

BITCH I LIVED IN MY CAR FOR A YEAR. You fucking AirBnb'd, ate out every night and hooked up with randoms! That's luxury, ya millennial twat! 

"Dana Hamilton is a sex columnist for Playboy and New York Magazine, as well as the author of the sex-positive travel blog “Eat, Drive, F*ck.” 

Now it all makes sense. Our generation is fucked. 

If you really wanna know the answer, it’s go out and meet people. It’s not as easy as it sounds, because frankly all of our personalities are different. Just go do what you like, improve your social skills, be bold and ask people the smallest questions, then go bigger. One of my favorite little moments came when I biked to the shores in Charleston. The water was beautiful from the docks and there was an attractive girl nearby. Idk what I said, but probably that the water was beautiful which led to good conversations and a quick bike tour of some of Charleston’s abandoned and “haunted” buildings. Talk to people. They want you to, whether they know it or not. :)

[thisisbud]

All the numbers coward

Oh goody, I was beginning to think no one was going to ask me to do any :)

1. First game you played obsessively?I think the first game I played obsessively was Pokemon Ruby. This was before I actually new anything about strategy (like 3rd/4th grade) or even how to swap out pokemon, but I remember running through the whole game with just my trusty Swampert, up until the Elite Four beat my unbalanced ass ; u ;

2. A game that has influenced you creatively? Writing, drawing, etc.I don’t draw or write much now, but I do remember really liking the boxart of LoZ: Link to the Past enough to try doodling it and a few items.

3. What did you play as a kid?As a child I was like exclusively nintendo. Pokemon Ruby and Emerald, Mario and Luigi Superstar Saga, like every single Pokemon Mystery Dungeons Game, and LoZ: A link to the past

4. Who do you play with now?Mostly League of Legends and indie games on the PC. Shooty Bois on the XBox one and a few games on the Switch

5. Ever use cheat codes?Yes because my child self is a degenerate. 6. Ever buy strategy guides?nope. Any money I had went to games, if I needed strats, I begged to use a computer.7. Any games you have multiple copies of?I have Skyrim on my ps3 and computer, and boarderlands 2 on my computer and xbox. not because I really like boarderlands, but because it was on sale for steam, and then my friends wanted to play on the xbox instead :)8. Rarest/Most expensive game in your collection?I still have my original Pokemon Emerald cartridge, and a link to the past gba cartridge9. Most regrettable purchase?oof. Probably Splatoon 2. Great game, wonderful aesthetic, but I realized I spent $60 for a game that held my interest for like a week because of my friends.10. Ever go to a midnight game release or stand in line for hours?Pokemon Omega Ruby/Alpha Sapphire release. It was just a really good time with friends and then a bunch of nerds playing pokemon together after.11. Have you ever made new friends from playing video games?Video games is like the reason I have any friends today.12. Ever get picked on for liking games?just the usual snide comment from some family members, but not like stereotypical school bullying.13. A game you’ve never played that everyone else has?Sims, Rollercoaster Tycoon, Sports games 2Kyear14. Favorite game music?Persona 3 and 5 soundtrack15. If it was a requirement to get a game related tattoo, what would you pick?probably some kind of arcana card from persona. yeah, that sounds neat.16. Favorite game to play with your friends IRL?Smash is #1, but The Jackbox games are a close second.17. Ever lose a friend over a game?ummm I think golf with your friends got close, but no.18. Would you date someone that hates gaming?I’d date @kamichamachu-iloveyou19. Favorite handheld console?nostalgia: GBA, Currently: 3DS. switch doesnt count20. Game that you know like the back of your hand?Modern Warfare 3 but like exclusively multiplayer21. Game that you didn’t like or understand as a kid but love now?League of legends technically.22. Do you wear game related clothing/accessories?I have pokemon pajama pants and a really nice D.VA backpack that one of my bestest friends got me @the-giant-made-of-stone but that’s it.23. The game that you’ve logged the most hours into?either COD Modern Warfare 3, or Black ops 2. Hit master prestige in both of them.24. First Pokemon game?either red or blue, but I was too young to play them or even remember.25. Were you ever an arcade game player?I went hard in peterpiper, but these days I’m a tiny bit smarter with my money26. Ever form any gaming rivalries?well more like salt driven blind rage from smash, but that only lasts like an hour or two27. Game that makes you rage?League of Legends.28. Ever play in a tournament?I played in like one smash tournament and got bm’d so I stopped going.29. What is your gaming set up?I have a dual monitor pc setup, but one of the monitors is bigger than the other, so it also doubles as the screen I use for my xbox, switch, and ps430. How many consoles do you own? 5 if you include the 2ds31. Does the 3DS and/or Virtual Boy hurt your eyes or give you headaches?never played the Virtual boy, and I’ve never used the 3D setting long enough for it to do anything weird.32. Did you ever play a game based on your favorite show/cartoon/movie/comic?when I was a smol babby, I had Power Rangers Light Speed Rescue for the nintendo 64.33. Did you ever have any bootleg games or plug-n-play games?when I was in middle school, a family friend hooked us up with a fancy ds cartridge that had a slot for a microSD card that we could put roms onto. it was lit. I also had a lot of plug and plays as a bby34. Do either of your parents play video games?my dad has a playstation something, but idk what he plays35. Ever work in a game store? Or do you have a favorite game shop?I want to work at gamestop, but they hate me or something. Gamestop is also my favorite game shop because it’s the only one that still exists.36. Have you ever shed actual blood, sweat or tears over a game?sweat and tears sure, I think I picked at a scab while playing a game, so technically blood too I guess.37. Have you played E.T. for the Atari 2600? Do you think that’s the worst game ever, or do you have another nomination?I’ve seen those articles, never played it.38. A game you’re ashamed to admit that you like?like the entirety of my H-Game collection.39. A sequel that you would die for them to make?eh don’t really have any, if they remaster modern warfare 2 and 3, that would be pretty neat.40. What to you think of virtual reality headsets or motion controls?sounds like fun, but I don’t think I’d ever buy any until I have my own place and a lot more room.41. A genre that you just can’t get into?sports games that involve real sports teams (not including tennis)42. Maybe it wasn’t your first game, but what was the game that started you on your path to nerdiness?Pokemon Mystery dungeons series was like the first games that actually made me feel anything emotionally.43. Ever play games when you really should have been concentrating on something else?When I was still in school that’s pretty much all I did.44. Arcade machine that has consumed the most of your quarters?that one that’s like a half a bubble and the inner rim is a ring of light bulbs, and you have to hit the button on jackpot otherwise you get however many tickets is on the number you stop at. You feel?45. How are you at Mario Kart?I’m decent. definitely not the best.46. Do you like relaxing games like Animal Crossing or Harvest Moon?I need to be in the mood for it. I played like 30 hours of stardew valley but now that game makes me sleepy.47. Do you like competitive games?love em, unfortunately.48. How long does it take your to customize your player character?not crazy long. I just try to make the cutest girl possible, but really I just want to start playing.49. In games where you can pick your class, do you always tend to go for the same type of character?I lean pretty heavily towards the stealthy classes. with the stereotypical paladin/fighter as a secondary50. If you were a game designer, what masterpiece would you create?bitch if I had enough creativity to think of a gaming masterpiece on the spot, I’d be writing or something.51. Have you ever played a game for so long that you forgot to eat or sleep?League of Legends.52. A game that you begged your parents for as a kid?Pokemon Platinum. It was really good.53. What’s your opinion on DLC these days?I don’t care for it. If it’s a game I like, I might drop a bit (every month) on microtransactions, but as for solo games, they need to be really really good for me to spend another $20 on it.54. Do you give in to Steam sales?oh god yeah unfortunately. Speaking of which… the stream summer sale is up right now…55. Did you ever make someone you hated in the Sims and did mean stuff to them?never played the sims, and I’m glad to say I’m not that petty.56. Did you ever play Roller Coaster Tycoon and kill off your guests?never played Roller Coaster Tycoon57. Did you ever play a game to 100% or get all of the achievements?only once, and it was Legend of Zelda: Link Between Worlds.58. If you can only play 3 games for the rest of your life, which ones do you pick?League of Legends. and that’s like it. I can’t think of any other game that will hold it’s value for the rest of my life.59. Do you play any cell phone games?I played a lot, and honestly had a problem, but now it’s kind of like a rotating roster for me. Used to be those Gacha pay to win RPG’s now I have basic games to play on my breaks at work because I get no signal in the break room.60. Do you know the Konami Code?up up down down left right left right b a start cha cha real smooth two hops two hops - - two hops two hops - - hands on your knees hands on your knees61. Do you trade in your games or keep them forever?my games are constantly rotating. When I stop feeling it for a game, and it still has value over $15 it goes towards a new game.62. Ever buy a console specifically to play one game?Technically I got the switch just for breath of the wild, but I am enjoying the other titles coming out for it.63. Ever go to a gaming convention or tournament? I went to a tournament and got bm’d so I never went back.64. Ever make a TV or monitor purchase based on what would be best for gaming?no but I kind of want to one day.65. Ever have a Game Genie, Game Shark or Action Replay? Did it ever mess up your game’s save file?I had an action replay because I wanted to cheat in pokemon pearl, and it let me for a bit, but I kept accidentally erasing all the data on the action replay itself, so yeah.66. Did you ever have have an old Nokia with Snake on it?I actually did. When one of my old flip phones broke, I needed a cheap replacement.67. Do you have a happy gaming-related childhood memory you want to share?for this question, we’re gonna pretend “childhood” encompasses freshman year of college. I remember telling my best friends about a smash tournament that was going on while I was away, and that I would be back for the last half of it. They were telling me about how well they were doing on the way back and I got more and more hyped. Then when I got there for the grand finals, I asked the guy that everyone considered to be the best player there to play some casuals with me. and I absolutely obliterated him. I could go more into detail but yeah, that’s like my most memorable gaming moment.68. Ever save up a ton of tickets in an arcade to get something cool?god no, I really wish I learned to be that frugal, but anytime I went to a place with tickets, those tickets would be gone literally the same night, no matter how cheap the prises were.69. In your opinion, best game ever made? I think my personal favorite is Pokemon mystery dungeons: Explorers of Sky. story line, gameplay, music, everything about it made me so happy.70. Very first game you ever beat?I think it was pokemon ruby, but honestly, I’m not super sure.