#Idk man just PLEASE-

[valentimmy]

sephiroth but this time he did an oopsie :(

[ivefallenforyouandicantgetup]

So I wasn’t expecting so many people to feel the same but if enough of us agree then maybe we can get them to do it 👀

Okay Lincoln explaining the Garfield movie’s bits as they played was objectively VERY funny and I would love to get a patreon bonus of Matt in character as Lincoln explaining the entire movie as the audio plays in the background lmao

[ltorekdraws]

the fuck i made

[shotapiss]

"proship" "comship" "darkship"

*old man voice* baack in my day we just called it a "ship"

[hhyurein]

slowly but surely posting my old mp100 art onto here.... expect me to pop up in the tags often....... twitter really liked this one for some reason

[inkskinned]

you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.

you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.

he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.

a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.

he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.

you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.

people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.

wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.

also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.

he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."

you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.

"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."

he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.

you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.

is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?

you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.

[starryeyesmasc]

thinking about a girl showing me off in public.

in a bar, a club, whatever. there’s something so fucking hot about a girl pinning me against a wall, kissing me until I get dizzy and feeling me up,,,while we’re in public,,,,holy shit. and then when we sit back down, draping an arm over my shoulder, or sitting in my lap and pulling my arms around her, or placing my hand on her thigh. bonus points if I get to walk around with my neck covered in hickeys that shine with her lip gloss while I grin like an idiot‼️

[swampybogg]

[themirepirate]

was reading Sherlock holmes and this popped into my head

[swordlesbian-chappellroan]

walton goggins is one step away from showing up to your house with a powerpoint presentation.

[pencilofawesomeness]

from chapter 10 of Famous Last Words in May Death Never Stop You by the amazing @slexenskee

I've wanted to draw this scene ever since I read it lmao. Fun fact I was eating lunch at the time and I was laughing so hard I had to leave the room since someone was watching tv. Good times, good times.

[shotapiss]

Respectfully asking proshippers to stop calling antis delusional🙏🙏

[giddlygoat]

mario + peach is such a good ship istg they’re so good. straight ship so good it feels gay

[makeshiftloops]

Ceaseless watcher, turn your gaze upon this pathetic wet cat of a man

[royalarchivist]

It's so wild seeing the official Tazercraft account posting old videos of the boys doing random stuff when they were all teenagers, but it's also sorta sweet seeing Pac, Mike, Cellbit, and Felps all hanging out and being friends, even way back then. :')

[stagshipping]

i wish the tiktok proship community was more like the tumblr proship community, bc on tiktok it's all 13 year olds trying to be as edgy as possible. im so sick of every post being "bandit 🍇s bluey but she likes it" like i doubt that you even ship that you're just trying to post the most vile "headcanons" you can come up with. proship just means "ship and let ship", it doesn't mean you HAVE to post dark headcanons about children's media. also the fact that most tiktok proshippers are around 13- there's no space for adults? as far as ive seen anyway.