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neo-shitty · 3 years ago

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toffee!

ah yeah, i think quarentine has given people some opportunity to actually just sit with the person they are, rather than be rushing around for the person they want to become. its good you got smth good out of isolation! ah thats great! hope you had fun and ur partner in crime speeds back home so you can get out more hehe.

ah yeah ty, good suggestions.

hmm good point, i was sort of putting it separate to the whole not-sexualising thing, but yeah. mmm yeah i totally agree, some of the enhypen fics/imagines *shudder* and even reading innie stuff is just a bit *icky* cos everyone still thinks of him as our agi ppang. yeah def would be good but sadly this just seems to be the world we live in. :(

ah yes the holy masterlist (not sarc) i have actually read in the rain and gladius maximus before, but ill go look for in class! oooh thats good! character development lol. hmmmm yes champagne problems was the angst to end all angst, that shit hurt. it was actually one of the first of your fics i read and i recall almost crying over the whole thing, it was so heartbreaking, i can see how it almost made you want to drop angst. good that youve allowed yourself some lee-way tho :)

hehe thats so cool. okay here we go, ill try not to be mortally offended (/hj)

cheese - yes same, i liked it but that was all there was, it wasnt a super standout track. it was rlly underwhelming for me but some of the hook is super catchy so there is Redemption (tm) in store for cheese maybe

thunderous - mmm, yeah at first i totally agreed, i think they suffer from too much good music syndrome, that all their other tracks are such fucking bops its hard to stay at that level of perfection. the choreo was beautiful tho and tbh, the track has grown on me since ive been watching all the vids abt it. its my brothers favourite track

domino - YES GODAMMIT IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE TITLE TRACK. the raps, the vocals, the vibes, the fucking domino sound in the back? i would have streamed that shit on repeat. but tbh, as good as it is, it doesnt have that sort of grandness/oomph that skz seems to like in their title tracks so i can see why they chose thunderous (tho domino would have been so good) *sigh*

ssick - yeah same, not my fave track by a long mile, the crowd cheering was a ?strange? choice and the chorus was a bit bare/empty, plus like i mentioned earlier, it was kinda funny to me for some reason but ill still play it if im playing thru the whole album

the view - ahh one of those not like other girls (/j) i honestly think its just a good party song, just a bop to play in the background when nobodys rlly paying much attention. its pretty generic pop music but catchy

sorry, i love you - hehe yeah i thought it was going to be sadder as well, but i rlly loved the fact that they all just got to sing, which almost never happens, i dont think ive heard felix sing for a long time, so i enjoyed it. wasnt rlly a standout track but i just casually like it. looking forward to the fic haha

silent cry - this song i swear, some bits are rlly good and then others are just? why?? it does sound like a dance song tho idk. definitely not one of my faves either

secret secret - YES its so good! its such a chill song and i love their vocals in it. the combination of lo-fi/fake strings backup stuff and their heavenly vocals just makes it *chefs kiss* im listening to it rn and just... its so beautiful. it gives me pumped up another day vibes ya know? like my pace is edgy get cool, this one is energetic another day i feel like. overall i love it

STAR LOST - ah thats so cool! i didnt know that! on first listen this song had a similar vibe to secret secret but then the beat came in and ahh its such a good song. i can totally imagine them putting this song to a concert footage vid, this song is so sweet.

red lights - LMAO YES ITS SO AWKWARD WHY DOES IT GO ON FOR SO LONG ah thats good! yeah good point, its quite intense hehe. but that is my fave trope and this is lowkey my favourite track on the album so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ just the combination of hyunjins and chans voices, the backing music, the lyrics ahh red lights my beloved

surfin’ - yes lmao its always a shock, i feel like they should have put gone away in between them, but its such a fun cute song, i cant get rlly mad. yeah, as an aussie i think im contractually obligated to like beaches lol. sand im not such a fan of, but my familys rlly into fishing and my brother loves bodyboarding so we stay at a beach house at least twice a year and we live like 5 mins from 3 different beaches (hehe all aussie cities are on the coast lol) so thats cool. do you like beaches?

gone away - ah gone away my beloved, i love this song sm, its just so pure and showcases their vocals and lyrics so well. yes the pitch change is very out of the blue, i feel liek they went directly from seungmins soft vocals to hans powerful ones which was an interesting choice, but hey, im not complaining

wolfgang - YES IKR ah im so happy he got to be included in that era and song. yeah its such a full on song i cant rlly listen to it if im in a quiet mood but its very motivating :)

hehe mood, i hope they do! ahhh no rest, but at least you wont have to pull a blink and wait a year for any word from the group lol. im not rlly into nct but im excited for them! ah hopefully youll be able to sneak some rest into that chaotic schedule, with enhypen (idk if u stan but yeah) squeezed into it haha

<3 w.a. 🐺

i wheezed at partner in crime, it reminded me of smth. i have a lee know fic in the drafts that i wrote 'in honor' of him (and his departure-ish). i'll tag you when i finish it, if you want. it's a rather hilarious one.

oh my god. based on my experience on the collabs i've joined before, writing explicit shit for '01 & '02 is not accepted (nct's maknaes) but with enha's hyung line '01 & '02 somehow it's okay? i do a double take every time i see fics like those i mean, technically, it's legal but still what the fuck. maybe it's just not for me at the moment. not at us venting our frustration about this. it's just something that's so accepted here that i am (in all honesty) slightly uncomfortable about. but oh well. that's kpop writerblr for you.

man i could've linked all the fics in the ask instead so you wouldn't have to go looking for them! i think i saw you like in class the other day (the fic i renamed into sharp-tongued, god it took me a while to remember the new title). describing champagne problems as an angst to end all angst is one way to put what i was feeling back in december. it just hurt to write and admit?? if that ever happened to me i would prolly cry :d

okay back to the album talk! i love how you answered with more thoughts. i love exchanges like these! i am a victim of the cheese hook and it's now one of my favorite tracks in the album. PLS, TOO MUCH GOOD MUSIC SYNDROME. that's on our self-producing kings 😌💅 also, your brother has taste! as i am typing this, domino's currently playing in my head and i realized that too, that it doesn't have that 'vibe' of a skz title track. honestly, this could be a title track of another group. ssick is starting to grown on me because i found the beats cool kdjsk not the not like other girls 😭 the view is the generic pop that i don't like but i get why a lot of people enjoy it. sorry i love you scratches a certain itch that i find myself singing the first few lines every time i remember it. i too would want to hear felix sing more!

> a mini junction on the album talk bc i got side tracked. on that topic, i want skz to switch positions at some point like i know those allrounders are capable of doing so. specifically, i want to hear seungmin rap!!!! (yk in the recent weekly idol he talked faster than changbin in a challenge and changbin is like the fastest rapper in kpop that's active atm if im not mistaken. my dandy boy has some potential and i want it UNLEASHED.)

back to album talk. silent cry is basically sad music to twerk to. secret secret is definitely one of my favorite tracks :( i loved how you compared the tracks HAJSAH i burst out laughing bc yk what, you're right! i want to make a star lost edit of skz but i simply do not have the time i want to cry. i love the song so much. ok, my dreaded track, red lights. idt i have played the track since we last talked. my friend sent me the lyrics tho and i'm itching to write a twisted au out of it. idk if you're comfortable with yandere but somewhere along those themes. the obsessive type of love that's sweet at first but turns rotten. IMAGINE IF THEY PUT GONE AWAY BETWEEN ASHJA it's like going from 50 shades to the notebook.

i was about to ask if you lived near the coast and you literally mentions it here god im so stupid. yes i LOOOOOOOOOVE beaches so much. living in an archipelago is fun :( i live in a part of the country that's more island than city so every time i want some vitamin sea it's accessible. i heard the waves in australia are great :( anYWHOOO gone away :(( every time it plays im compelled to skip it because it makes me sAD AND NOWADAYS I DONT HAVE THE TIME TO BE SAD. contrary to you, i dislike my quiet moods because i tend to overthink a lot.

i have this little analogy about how there are stays that enjoy songs the generic pop + mellow songs and then there are other stays that enjoy the noisy tracks. in my mind, it's like a perfect balance that makes me feel like all the tracks are loved in the end. just by different people.

PULL A BLINK. bro i fucking hate yg entertainment. they have the biggest kpop girl group LOCKED in their basement when they could be (and i mean this in the most business-like way not morally) milking money of the quad. they're yg's biggest hope at not being bankrupt atm so it's a damn fucking mystery to me as to how they aren't doing anything. (jk i just realized lisa solo album soon, but i still need a ot4 cb hELLO)

i stopped looking forward to the teasers. rest > kpop boys. i don't want to sound like a cult member but have you tried checking out nct? are they just not your thing? (i get it tho, that's one hard group to get into). and yes i do stan enhypen!

wow i love how long these asks are! they're like online penpals. but i also want to ask about you! how have you been lately? are you feeling okay both mentally and physically? how's the weather there? do you have anything that you want to talk about? maybe an interesting book you read? feel free to bring up anything you want to share! i'm getting conscious about talking about myself HAJHSJ

and yet another long answer B) i am sooo sorry T___T should these ask exchanges feel draining to you, feel free to stop sending them in AAAA

#toff.asks #wild anon 🐺

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unfortunatelyilikebnha · 5 years ago

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(//Britney Spears Voice// Oops I Did it Again)

I was thinking about Sero having siblings which made me think about class 1a and like,, how few of them have canon siblings? & then I was like “well hmm, who has siblings in canon and who do I feel like SHOULD have siblings?” which has NOW spiraled to “whole family dynamic” so. Here’s this (note that I’m not gonna subtract people from families who already canonically exist like however much I’d like to launch End**v*r into the sun this is less “I rewrote things how I’d like them to be” and more “how many of these kids do I think should have siblings and if their parents aren’t developed what do I think they’re like”).

Midoriya: We already know he does not have siblings and tbh even if we didn’t know I’d still think he doesn’t. He absolutely has Only Child Who’s Kinda Lonely And Wanted A Sibling But Never Got One vibes. Also we know he has a single mom and a dad who’s not really in the picture (sidenote I love Inko Midoriya even though she failed Izuku in the past by not believing in him she loves her son so much and is trying her hardest to make up for it and do what’s best for him). I feel like her husband is like,,, not straight up the worst person ever like he’s not abusive but he’s not particularly interested in his family anymore?? Like he pays his child support but doesn’t make any effort to talk to his wife and son? He’d get divorced but he doesn’t want to go through the hassle of that legal process, especially since he’s living on a whole separate continent & would either have to go back to Japan for the legal proceedings or do it from there which would be challenging & he’s “far too busy” to do that

Bakugou: He doesn’t have siblings in canon but he does kinda give off Middle Child In A House With Lots Of Children vibes...that inferiority/superiority complex tho...oh either that or Oldest Child In A House With Lots Of Children vibes...but yeah consider middle child Bkg. Like...maybe 5-6 Bakugou children and he’s either smack dab in the middle or 3rd oldest depending if he has 4 or 5 siblings. Also it’s pretty obvious that Mitsuki’s not a good mom & Masaru is not rlly willing to stand up to her but unfortunately I can’t change that cause I said I wouldn’t mess with existing family members :/ maybe I shouldn’t give him more siblings after all, for their sake...

Todoroki: We know the todofam dynamic already. Tbh idk what kinda vibes he’d give me if I didn’t already know he had siblings, but since I know that he has siblings in canon it makes sense that he’s a youngest child (also sidenote I LOVE the Todorokisibs & I want them to have the time to bond and become like,,, real, close siblings. Also #givereiadivorce2k20). I hope someone yeets Endumpster out of existence one of these days...fingers crossed

Iida: It’s canon that he has a brother and it’s so sweet how much he admires and loves him Iida ily. Again it makes sense that he’s a youngest child; his need to be “worthy of” his brother’s legacy is rlly apparent, & feels like a total youngest sibling trait. Tbh if I didn’t know he had a brother I could also see him as an only child but I’m glad he has Tensei. I feel like his parents are hardworking but make sure to make time for their children as much as they can & make sure they know they’re loved. Iida kinda also considers some of the heroes/sidekicks who work at the Idaten agency family since they’ve been around so much during his childhood & he knows them pretty well. Also since Tensei is friends with Aizawa and Yamada they were definitely Tenya’s babysitters at least a couple times & around the house a lot so he considers them kinda like uncles or something

Uraraka: I know she doesn’t have siblings in canon but it feels like she should. She gives off big sister vibes. Like she’s canonically becoming a hero for her parents, and I think that would be even better if she also had siblings (all younger than her. At least 2 siblings, maybe 3). I want to see Uraraka with siblings @ Horikoshi why did you deprive us of this? Also we know her parents work hard and love her which I love I’m so glad SOMEONE in class 1a canonically has 2 good supportive parents

Tsuyu: We already know she has two siblings and yes she also has Big Sister Vibes. Don’t have much to explain abt this one, she’s just mature and dependable in like the Older Sister Specific Way (not that all older sisters are mature and dependable, just that there’s a kind of mature and dependable that directly comes from being an older sister specifically). I feel like her parents love her and her siblings & taught them to be truthful & stuff but are kinda quiet and reserved with their affection, and they’re often busy with their jobs so Tsuyu had to take on some extra responsibility caring for her siblings

Yaoyorozu: She’s an only child and yeah, it makes sense. Her parents only have one child to focus on, and as such it’s pretty obvious she feels the full pressure of their expectations, giving her pretty obvious Only Child Vibes. Although I guess you could also look at it as youngest child vibes cause I could just as easily see her having a bunch of talented successful older siblings/one Really Talented Older Sibling so she feels the pressure in following in their footsteps (think either Daphne from scooby doo mystery incorporated or Tahani Al-Jamil from the good place except she doesn’t necessarily hate/resent her siblings but is just kinda insecure about her “worth” compared to them. This is where the second guessing she suddenly displays in canon could come in - correct me if I’m wrong but she didn’t rlly show signs of second-guessing herself until the sports festival? So she’s fine in class where nobody rlly knows her but once she’s at the sports festival which is nationally televised she starts to doubt herself because her parents and sister(s) are watching & she’s like “oh no what if my sister(s) would be better than me at this” so that’s why she suddenly loses confidence). I kinda implied before but I feel like her parents are pretty strict & have high expectations for her & while they’re not needlessly cruel, they won’t tolerate less than the best

Jirou: Pretty sure she has no siblings in canon BUT she TOTALLY gives off youngest sibling vibes. I’m thinking she’d have like a cool older brother who likes to embarrass her. Her parents are pretty chill (I think that part’s kinda canon?). She has lots of older cousins who she’s pretty close with and one bad*ss lesbian aunt who’s pretty much her role model (Jirou when she was younger: I wanna be just like my aunt!!! Jirou now: ah. That’s why. I also like girls.)

Kirishima: Again I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have siblings in canon and as for whether I think he gives off sibling vibes??? I’m not entirely sure. I was gonna say I don’t think so cause like. He gives off vibes that he’d be good with siblings but doesn’t actually have them, kinda like Midoriya (but like,,,I also kinda want to give him siblings so I’m not sure). Also you know that fandom headcanon that he has 2 moms? Yeah I love that that’s canon you can’t convince me otherwise. He has 2 moms and they both love him so much & wanna support him however they can (also I kinda put a little thought into them for a fic I started writing and decided that they’re the embodiment of the tattoo parlor/flower shop au. Flower mom keeps some arrangements that are...not necessarily professional in her shop because her wife arranged them for her. Tattoo mom gives flower mom tattoos for free & they have matching tattoos that flower mom designed)

Koda: he gives me Could Have Siblings vibes as in he kinda feels like another middle child but I feel like he’s actually an only child (like he probably is in canon? I think). His parents are quiet like him but they definitely love him and he knows it. He’s really close to his grandparents (who also live with his family) as well. He also, quits predictably, has a lot of animal friends who are kind of like family to him cause they’ve been through a lot together (the Koda family household sometimes looks a little bit like a zoo because 3 people in it have talking-to-animal-related quirks)

Sato: another idk about canon but he has a little sister. I cannot tell you why I think this but he definitely has a little sister. Sato you have been diagnosed with Big Brother Energy. Also he totally has a single dad who owns a bakery which is how Sato knows how to bake so well! They’re not poor but they’re not rich and he hopes to send some of his paycheck to support his family & help his dad expand the bakery. It wasn’t the primary reason he became a hero (that was because a hero once saved his little sister from a burning building & he decided that he wanted to be able to save people like that hero had saved his sister), but he does like the benefit of the paycheck

Tokoyami: tbh my first instinct was no siblings but I think it would be really funny if he had like. 3 really preppy siblings (one older than him two younger) & he was the only goth one in his family. Or like. His dad is also goth but his mom & other siblings r super preppy. He loves them all but is very much introverted and he and his dad are closer than the rest bc they kinda bond over being less energetic. His siblings & mom don’t REALLY understand Tokoyami’s goth-ness but they love and support him anyways. His younger siblings lowkey like Dark Shadow maybe even more than him tho. Dark Shadow was pretty sad when he heard they’d be moving to the dorms because he would miss them

Kaminari: tbh I first thought he had only child vibes (he kinda does) but then I decided that he has siblings but their age gaps are pretty significant. His older sister has just gotten out of university and is working and his younger sister is like...7 maybe. His siblings both love him but the age gaps between them make it hard for them to connect sometimes. Anyways I feel like his parents are pretty neglectful & caught up in their work. They don’t really pay attention to him or his other siblings, so his older sister had to learn things like cooking and cleaning and do a lot of taking care of Kaminari and he had to help take care of his younger sister, especially after his older sister went to uni. His parents just assumed he’d come to work at their electric company but he didn’t want to do that so while he definitely wants to save people a big part of his desire to become a hero is to make real connections and prove to his parents that he’s worthy of love and attention. He took the UA exam without telling them and when they found out they would have told him no except that they figured the exposure of their son going to the top hero school in Japan would give them more business. When he moved to the dorms he missed his sisters but was glad he didn’t have to be the main caretaker of his little sister anymore (his parents hired a nanny, which they hadn’t wanted to do before because of how much money it would cost, but because they had in fact gotten more business due to Denki going to UA they had a little more money now). (The nanny and Denki’s sister became fast friends, a fact of which he was glad because it meant he wasn’t leaving her alone in an empty house. He called and visited his sister as often as possible)

Hagakure: honestly I’m pretty sure she’s an only child in canon and she DOES give off only child vibes I think...unlike Midoriya tho I don’t think she’d be particularly bothered by it? I mean I feel like she’s kinda lonely but that’s less about lack of siblings & more bc of lack of people seeing her. But her parents rlly care about her & support her however they can, & they also understand her bc they’re invisible too so they know how it feels to have to work hard to be noticed when you can’t exactly be seen

Aoyama: either both his siblings are way older than him or he’s an only child. He does not give me “is super close with his siblings” vibes. He’s definitely seen as the baby in the family and not in a “he gets away with everything & is the parents’ favorite” way in the “they think he’s kinda a failure” way. His siblings look down on him, his mom pities him because he was the only one to inherit her quirk, which hurts to use, & his dad kinda doesn’t rlly care about him one way or the other. The family gives me pretty rich vibes. Like not as rich as the Yaoyorozus/Iidas/Todorokis but still pretty rich. He went to UA mostly because he wants to get stronger both so that his mom can stop pitying/worrying about him and so that the rest of his family won’t look down on him anymore

Ojirou: l also think he has a few siblings (like...no more than 2 tho). I think younger siblings, he’s also a character with big brother energy (tho I could also see middle child Ojirou). His mom runs a dojo which is part of the reason why he’s so good at martial arts. His dad is an artist. They’re pretty close and love and respect each other. His parents were surprised but supportive when he announced he wanted to go to UA

Ashido: an only child. Her parents love her a lot & make sure she feels supported. She sometimes wishes she had siblings but not super often because she has tons of good friends (this along with Kirishima being an only child who wants siblings sometimes only makes their brotp more epic)!! Also she still keeps in close touch with her civilian friends from middle school but kinda feel disconnected from them sometimes because they’re living such different lives than her. Like they’ll talk about the latest movie and ask her if she’s seen it and she just says no and kinda laugh it off because she can’t just say “no, I wanted to but villains tried to kill my class the day we were planning to go”. She also has a hard time telling her parents that because she knows they’d be super worried about her and she really wants to be a hero!

Sero: has siblings (is somewhere in the middle) and also a huge extended family!!! Before the dorms he lived with his mom and siblings but his extended family lived really close to them and visited all the time so he’s really close to both sets of grandparents and his many aunts and uncles and little cousins (though he’s a middle child in his immediate family he’s one of the oldest cousins). Though he misses his family he sees them as often as he can, and is kinda glad for how chaotic and loud the dorms can be sometimes because it reminds him of his home

Shoji: has a little brother, a mom, and a step-dad. It took a while for him to get used to his step-dad, but it becomes clear that he really loves his family so now Shoji loves him too and is fairly close to him. Shoji’s little brother is adopted because there were complications with his mom’s pregnancy when she was having Mezo and while he turned out fine, they found out that it would be risky for his mom to attempt to get pregnant again. His little brother also has a mutation quirk (though it’s not Dupli Arms it’s Bear) and Shoji loves him more than anything else in the world. He wants to become a hero to help combat the stigma around certain mutation quirks (Gang Orca once canonically kinda addressed that that exists when he talked about how children are always afraid of him bc of how he looks) so that the world will be better for people like him and his brother. His mom and stepdad wholeheartedly support him

M*neta: Only doing this bc my brain will not shut up & is making me analyze all of 1a even the ones I don’t consider 1a. I hope he doesn’t have siblings so less people have to be exposed to his...m*neta-ness but tbh I could see him having siblings. His parents are busy and either don’t notice or don’t care what a terrible person their son is

Better purple boy who deserves a place in 1a way more than the grape Shinsou: has no siblings but gives off IMMENSE big brother vibes. Definitely grew up in the foster system (his biological mother, who was a single mother and also had a mind control quirk, became a villain because she couldn’t get hired anywhere, had no way to support her son, and was tired of being villainized by society so she was like “ok you want a villain? Bet.” When Shinsou was like 7, his mom was killed while trying to flee a crime scene. Since Shinsou had no other parent, he was then put into the foster system. Nobody adopted him because everyone thought he was going to become a villain like his mom had, and even the people who didn’t know his mom thought his quirk was “villainous”). Aizawa and Yamada are now eventually planning to adopt him. He kinda has similar vibes to Midoriya in regards to the “Only Child Who’s Kinda Lonely And Wanted A Sibling” but unlike Midoriya he would NEVER admit he wanted a sibling. “I like being alone” he insists. He is a lying liar. However as soon as he meets Eri they instantly connect & he kinda becomes like a big brother to her even tho he will deny it until Eri herself calls him her brother. When this happens he will cry even tho he will say he didn’t

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chvrrybaby · 5 years ago

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*itzy vc* hey hey hey ! ( i see that i’m icy ) what’s up, i’m diana, i’m nineteen, and i’m ur resident girl group stan. i reside in the est timezone & go by the pronouns she/her. now, finally introducing ... loona !! jk, her�� name is blair & u can learn abt her under the cut ! my discord is lana del rey is coming <3#5522 ( stream her new album august 30th ), so feel free to message me there or through tumblr im’s if u prefer that ! otherwise, i’ll come to u <3

— kim doyeon. she/her. cis female. | was that blair ryu i just saw in the hideaway lobby ? i hear the nineteen year old spends most of their time working as a sugar baby/studying classic literature and women’s studies, but i’ve always just seen them writing in her dream journal. they live in 5A and i often see them in the halls. they always give me a vibe of loosely curled hair, cherry lip gloss, the lingering scent of vanilla in the air.

( 𝑩𝑨𝑪𝑲𝑮𝑹𝑶𝑼𝑵𝑫. )

born on october 5th, 1999 ( this is literally a day before my bday ooc but anyway ajkdhsjdh ) in rochester, new york, blair’s first impression of the world was a crisp autumn day

she was her parents first and only child. her mother was an elementary school teacher, while her father worked at a nearby power plant in ontario

the family never made too much money, but they were able to get by, at least at first

she had a fairly happy childhood, though it was a lonely one. her father was always working odd hours, and with her mother gone during the day, she spent most of her time with a babysitter and the family golden retriever

eventually, she herself started going to school. she immediately excelled in the english department and fell in love with reading. blair realized early on how much she enjoyed escaping reality with a novel, immersing herself in a story so exciting compared to her dull life

almost everything was fine until her high school years. aside from the fact that she never had a present father figure, she was closer to her mom and still loved by both of her parents. however, when her high school years came around, her father lost his job

her father was the families main provider, and her mothers salary alone would not be enough to take care of the entire family. while he searched for another job, they had to give away the family golden retriever to one of blair’s aunts because they couldn’t afford the extra cost :(

on top of losing her beloved pet, the loss of her father’s job prompting the family to pick up and move their entire life

already in the midst of high school, blair had to leave her life as she knew it behind. the family moved to statesboro, georgia, and her father found a job at the nearby power plant

the transition to life in georgia was not easy for blair. though she didn’t exactly have trouble making friends, she didn’t feel like she could truly connect with anyone

once again, blair turned to losing herself in a book to pass the time

shortly after the move to georgia, her parents experienced some difficulties within their marriage. they ended up separating, and blair spent the remainder of her high school years living with each of them for half of the time

she did not mind her parents separating, as she knew it was for the best. however, her father found a girlfriend fairly quickly, and blair would eventually find out her father had been having an affair

her father spent most of his free time with his new girlfriend and her family. blair was upset at how he prioritized his the new people in his life over her when he was barely ever around for her growing up

meanwhile, her mother was having trouble adjusting to being alone, so she moved back to new york to live with her sister

blair stayed behind in georgia to finish high school, but knew she wanted to go elsewhere for college. she wanted to get as far away from her father and his new life as possible

once blair turned eighteen, she began to sell pictures for money. she wanted to earn as much as possible so she could afford to go away for university. she created an alias and began to sell pictures and videos of her feet. eventually, she expanded her horizons once she realized how much money she could earn

she never went as far as sleeping with her clients, but she would go on dates with them and spend the days with them to earn more money ( kind of like ludovica/chiara in the italian show baby on netflix minus sleeping w them )

she dated a few people throughout her high school years, and began to more “seriously” date a guy during her senior year in high school, though she knew the relationship wouldn’t last. despite appearing as a more serious relationship, to her, it wasn’t really anything of the sort, and she mostly wanted a relationship for senior prom and other trivialities

after senior year ended and she had accepted admission into uni in seattle, she basically cut ties with everyone in georgia aksdjskdjh she said good bye forever ! rip poor unnamed boyfriend he didn’t see it coming ...

her father also did not see it coming because she didn’t even tell him where she applied. but at the same time, did he ask ? no :/

once she left for uni, her relationship with her father became very very estranged. she still speaks to her mom on a pretty regular basis, but even then, she has a whole secret life and doesn’t feel particular close to either of them sjkdfhskdjh

and that’s that for background !

( 𝑷𝑬𝑹𝑺𝑶𝑵𝑨��𝑰𝑻𝒀. )

blair is a libra sun leo moon ( rising sign & other placements tbd )

she is definitely a friendly/sociable person. she can be pretty outgoing and loves to be around people. idk her mbti yet but she is def an extrovert ! ( she does tend to keep her feelings to herself tho )

despite her friendly demeanor, she does have a fiery spirit. if u wrong her she will hold a grudge against u until it gets settled/sorted. she can be more on the mean side when she’s upset, but even then she does not have a bad heart at all

when it comes to relationships, blair is all over the place. she can be very flirty/charismatic and is constantly hopping from one relationship to the next. she hasn’t quite been able to settle down, but it is possible. she kind of thinks being in a real relationship means losing her freedom, because that’s kind of what she saw happen with her parents, so she doesn’t really want to be tied down to someone in fear of losing herself in a way. does this make sense ? maybe ? ok !

blair has a fairly strong sense of self, but she’s still very young so she’s still growing and changing. she is the type of person to know what she wants and go after it ( yes, even with ppl ! ). she will stop at nothinggg to get what she wants ( oop ). u could say she loves the chase, but kind of gets bored afterwards unless u have more to offer !

omg she literally loves 2 be the center of attention. i mean, who doesn’t love attention ? but blair takes it 2 another level. she gets all :( if she’s being ignored or isn’t receiving enough attention

kind of bouncing off the whole attention thing, blair loves a good party ! she’s young and here for a good time. she def loves to drink at parties and stuff even tho she isn’t legal here in the us, why should that stop her am i right ? when it comes to drugs, she’s a veryyy casual user and doesn’t do anything crazy. a social weed smoker n will do pills here and there

being a libra sun with a leo moon, i think it’s safe to say she can be a bit dramatic at times ( i mean, as a libra sun with a leo venus i am not one 2 judge xx ). she reads 2 much and watches 2 many movies like ajkdhsjkhd life rly isn’t that serious but she can b a lil overdramatic sometimes whew ! we told u this was melodrama ... lorde stans make some noise !

blair’s fav books are anything by jane austen and les liaisons dangereuses by pierre choderlos de laclos, aka the book cruel intentions was based on ( which happens 2 be one of her fav movies )

shows she loves: gossip girl ( she shares a name w blair so she probably used 2 call herself queen b in high school or something ), desperate housewives ( no wonder this binch is so dramatic ), big little lies, pretty little liars ( the early seasons only ), the netflix show baby, and buffy the vampire slayer

movies she loves: clueless, almost famous, thoroughbreds, moulin rouge, palo alto, marie antoinette, coyote ugly, american beauty, cruel intentions, and valley of the dolls ( to name a few )

her fav colors are pink, red, and white !

u can find her pinterest board here.

she is bisexual babey !!

( 𝑾𝑨��𝑻𝑬𝑫 𝑪𝑶𝑵𝑵𝑬𝑪𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑺. )

party buddies - this is pretty basic and self explanatory, but someone blair can go out and have fun with. their friendship might be more surface level, or started that way at least, but it’s possible they’re closer friends ( maybe she opened up under the influence and it brought them closer aksdhsdjh drunk blair def would )

ex-fling/gf/bf - blair relationship hops, so she could have quite a few of these. we can plot it however, there can b feelings there, they can hate each other, of they can be just friends now, u name it !

unrequited crush - ur character could have feelings for blair, but maybe she doesn’t feel them back or is unaware that they like her. this could develop into her eventually having feelings for ur muse or not, whatever we want ! OR blair could def have a crush on someone who does not like her back. maybe that person is super non-committal, or they simply do not like her back. we could plot this out however <3

current fling/friends w benefits - someone she is currently seeing/sleeping with. could be no strings attached, or there could b some feelings there. maybe they don’t want to make it anything serious, or maybe they’re ready to take it to the next level. maybe one person is ready to go further, and the other isn’t.

enemies w benefits - imagine the tension!!! they started out hating each other, but ended up hooking up. maybe it was a one time thing, or maybe they can’t stop going back to each other. i think it would b cool if they kept it a secret, they don’t want anyone else to know. this could develop in soooo many ways !

ex-friends - someone she used to consider a close friend, but they had a falling out for whatever reason n maybe they hate each other now. maybe they want to re-kindle their friendship but don’t know how

sibling-like friendship - someone she sees like a sibling. they’re there for each other and look out for one another, always have each other’s backs. being an only child and not really close to her parents, blair would love a friend that she could basically call family !

dynamic duo - basically like her current best friend. this person is prob one of the closest people to her and knows her very well ! they could b a power duo, always looking out for each other

take care - someone who kind of looks after her ?? maybe when she parties a lil too hard and drinks a lil too much, someone who kind of takes care of her n makes sure shes ok ! they would be someone she trusts a lottttt

confidant - someone who confides in her or someone she confides in, or they confide in each other. they don’t necessarily have to be the closest friends ever, but they get along, trust each other, and maybe they talk more in private

rivals - they hate each other for whatever reason. maybe it’s jealousy or their personalities just clash, but for whatever reason they do not get along. i love a good enemies plot. they can just b nasty to each other !!! maybe they bring out a really bad side to blair that most ppl dont see. someone who makes her act like blair waldorf ( i’m def kidding abt the blair waldorf part )

bad influence - blair isn’t a goody-two-shoes by any means, but doesn’t really do anything crazy, so i’d luvv for someone to kind of influence her to do shit she normally wouldn’t on her own

these are all the plot ideas i can think of for now, but i’ll prob make a plots page later on and add more stuff !

so this is everything !! this has taken me longer than it should have but i’m finally done whew,,, cheers 2 me <3 anyway i would absolutely luv to plot, so feel free to hit me up on discord or tumblr im’s, or i can also come to u ! i’m so excited to get started <333 i’m gonna b logging off now most likely, since it’s 3 am my time, but i’ll be back in the morning

#hide.intro #✧.° ░ 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒏𝒂 ╱ ooc.#i finally did it !!!!#pls someone tell me ur proud of me... <3

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kpoptionate · 7 years ago

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skz ➾ boyfriend!hyunjin

stray kids masterlist // official masterlist

07.19.18

requested: anon + anon + anon

a/n: thank y’all for requesting <333 (anon #3 i’m writing this at midnight and i’m crying i love you) (also i’ll get the minho one up soon !!)

a/n2.0: this got really long dammit lmao i’m so in love with him

woojin // bangchan // minho // changbin // hyunjin // jisung // felix // seungmin // jeongin

h w a n g h y u n j i n

y’all

this is my boyfriend right here mkay

but if he were yours

wOw do i wish i were you

he was at the park with his dog kkami one morning

and he was just chillin on the bench bc his dog is chill too

but then she (he ? idk someone inform me please) sprinted over to this girl on a nearby bench and started barkin at her (it’s you !)

hyunjin goes to collect his dog and apologizes and you tell him it’s fine, your dog does that too sometimes

and he doesn’t really know what to do so he just kinda apologizes again

you think he’s hella cute and adorable so you pat the bench beside you and motion for him to sit

he was lowkey hoping for you to do that bc he thinks you’re super cute

so y’all’s dogs run around and play while you and hyunjin talk and get to know each other

time flies by and the sun’s starting to set wow

kkami is asleep on your lap and to hyunjin that’s literally like the best thing ever

the prettiest boy/girl ever getting along with his dog, what else could a guy want am i right

he thinks you’re pretty cool and all so he gets your number as the two of you separate

y’all hang out a lotttt

definitely waits a few months to ask you out just to make sure

he eventually does when y’all have a picnic at the park late at night

he brought flowers and a necklace :’)

the first time he brings you over to the dorm to meet the guys they’re freaking out

like wow one of us actually managed to get a girlfriend

i mean everybody thought the first one would be hyunjin tho bc like

he’s hyunjin

he’s also kinda cliché but it’s so cute

your first official date as a couple he takes you to the amusement park

the rest of skz follows y’all but they make it so obvious

like dressed in all black and everything

he wins you a stuffed animal and gets you ice cream and goes on all the rides you wanna go on even if he's scared

when it's dark you he takes you on the ferris wheel

the guys def know what’s going on, cue them spaced out around the area with binoculars and walkie-talkies

when y’all get to the top

he takes his finger under your chin and makes you look at him

he gives a small smile with a little huff and

leans in

and

kisses you

sweetly

when he pulls back he’s got that grin™ on his face

the guys on the ground are screaming and cheering and hyunjin gets superr shy but doesn’t let you know they’re there

okay

y’all don’t argue a lot

he hates making you feel bad

boy has a little temper on him but he knows how to control it

until he gets jealous

he is one jealous boi™

around his members he might get jealous every once in a while but it’s not enough to bother him too much

with other people tho ?

watch out hun he’s coming for you

when he sees you talking to a friend and it’s going a little too far he’ll invite himself into the conversation

but the other person just doesn’t stop and you’re too naïve to notice they’re flirting with you

so he’ll pull the other party over to the side for a conversation with his hand tightly around their wrist

“look, i’m not trying to interrupt or anything but that’s exactly what i’m doing, keep that shit up or i swear to fucking god”

i’m not experienced with aggressive dialogue i’m sorry lmao

however, on the occassion you do argue he can get kinda out of hand

might accidentally yell something you’re self-conscious about in the heat of the moment

he’ll hate himself when you storm out crying

very stubborn, but not when it comes to you, no sir

he’ll give you two or three hours to rest and calm down

then he’ll show up at your door with flowers and snacks and little gifts to apologize

his eyes’ll be all red and puffy from crying

if you still close the door on him he’ll probably just burst into tears and not leave bc he just feels so bad and doesn’t want you to be mad and possibly leave him over something so trivial

always tries to make you smile

your laugh is literally like the best thing he’s ever heard

you guys goof around so much

he has so many pictures of you on his phone

he probably sets up a personal insta just so he can put up photos of the two of you together

they’re usually while you’re eating or sleeping (you asleep on his lap is his wallpaper)

or while y’all are on dates

expect lots of those btw

lots

if he’s feeling like the aesthetic boyfriend he is he’ll take you on small ones like the dog / amusement park or ice cream or to a little outdoor café or bike rides through seoul and stuff like that

but he also loves fun ones like laser tag or go-karting

if you guys haven’t seen each other in a while though he’ll take you to something a little more fancy

he always makes sure you look good he always thinks you do tho

like if y’all are going out and you look kinda dumb

he refuses to leave until you fix yourself

he does it in a playful and loving way though

if he can’t find anything for you to wear he’ll buy you something to

he definitely takes you shopping a lot

mostly for clothes

likes you wearing leather jackets and a tshirt

especially his leather jacket

or his sweatshirts

any of his clothes really

you just look so cute and soft and cuddly and fhsjfhjkds you bust all his uwus

it makes him want to cuddle and squeeze you to death

especially if you’re just in your underwear and one of his white shirts to bed

waking up with him is the best bc he’s all up against you with his face nuzzled in your neck

whines when you try to get up and he’ll grab your hand and pout and you just can’t resist bc who can say no to a pouty hyunjin

i feel like crying imagining it :’)

likes cooking with you

even if it doesn’t turn out so great

y’all are always just messing around in the kitchen

likes finding recipes so when you fall asleep or something he can have something for you to eat when you wake up

always makes sure you eat too

oh you just woke up ? i’ll get breakfast

you haven’t eaten since lunch and it’s been four hours ? let’s get a snack

jUst finished pizza ? you need more hun

you need to make sure he eats and rests enough too though

bc he practices a lottt and often forgets to grab lunch so please please please bring him something to eat

he absolutely loves when you do that

it makes him feel loved and cared for and important

likes to be babied, but also likes babying you

love love love loves showing you off

like he’s constantly talking about you to everyone

cool with pda only if you are

if you are then that’s gREAT

he likes to drape his arm around your shoulder when you guys walk

especially around people

loves hugging you from behind and resting his chin on your head

cuddling 24/7

cooking ? he’s back hugging you and waiting for you to feed him

dancing ? he’s changing the song so y’all can slow dance

watching netflix ? he’s all up on you, legs tangled in yours with your head on his chest and his fingers in your hair

really good at kissing

like have you seen them lips boiiii

does it all the time

especially little pecks on your lips

doesn’t care if there’s people around, he’s your boyfriend he can do what he wants

he doesn’t go past that when people are present

but when they’re not

bitchhhhh

okay so

he might be legal in america however he’s not in korea so i’m gonna keep it appropriate for his age, lmk if there’s a problem please

okay so everything usually starts with cuddling

which’ll lead to him giving you little kisses on your forehead or cheek

which moves to your lips

and he’ll peck you some times before giving you a longer kiss

he’ll gradually move from your lips to your jaw to your neck to your collarbones

leaving marks all the way down

then back up again

he’ll teasingly drag his tongue up and across your lips before finally locking his with yours

pulling you onto his lap with a hand at your jaw around your ear

his other on your waist

when it comes to kissing he’s definitely not rough at all with it, very slow and passionate

lotsss of open-mouthed kisses with tongue

probably groans a lot

especially if you bite his bottom lip oh lord

he loves it

also bites and pulls yours while looking at you with dark, hooded eyes

somebody stop me please this is too much for my heart

runs his hands up and down your body

like he’ll start from your neck and slowly travel down to your waist and thighs before going right back up

will also slip his hands under your shirt when he comes back

loves it when you roam your hands around his body too

especially his chest and collarbone area

however he also loves your body pressed all the way up against his to where y’all can feel each others heartbeats

probably won’t go farther than pushing your hips down against him

bc even tho he’s a confident boy he respects you and doesn’t want to do anything you don’t

even if he did i’m not writing past that dammit

#stopsexualizingminors2k18

so he’ll end it off by dragging his hands up to cup your face

and he’ll slow down the kissing until it gets to soft little pecks again

then he’ll kiss you all over your face and lay down facing each other with your legs tangled

smiling with red and swollen lips

facing each other with your legs tangled and your arms around his torso, his draped across your waist

bc he just loves looking at you

he’ll kiss you again bc he just can’t help himself

he loves the feeling of your lips on his

then he’ll pull away and settle his face in your neck and fall asleep

wow i’m in love :’)

overall someone who just loves you so so so so much and loves to take care of you

but you need to take care of him as well bc he’s busy and forgetful

you’re truthfully the best thing that’s ever happened to him, nothing makes him happier than being able to see and touch you

it’s not possible to love him more than he loves you

okay i’m soft

i’ll stop now goodbye

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shushvera · 6 years ago

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*toy story shark vc* howdy howdy howdy ! i would like to make it known i’ve been unabashedly eyeing this since it opened ! anyway ! i’ve lost my ooc intro groove so we gonna move down to my ic intro down below:

oh hi there, welcome to holiday, VERA FLOROS. you’ve been here for TWO MONTHS? awesome! you look just like MARINA DIAMANDIS, it’s crazy. oh, so you’re a 30 year old ‘FORTUNE TELLER’/’MUSICIAN’. and you’re FEMALE and use SHE/HER? okay, just checking! oh, people say you’re INTUITIVE & DILIGENT but DECEITFUL & RASH? well, i’m sure that you can prove yourself here. you’re looking forward to the HALLOWEEN celebration? that’s a good one, you’ll love it. i have to get going now, bye! [fleur, 19, est, she/her]

i would like to start by saying i’ve played vera once (1 time) before and it was,, so much fun,, the dumbest smart person to exist. i’ve tweaked her bg a little (because..... that’s what happens when you read lucille ball’s autobiography that was SUMN.....), but ! who cares !

update: this got rly long so there’s a tl;dr at the bottom if that better floats your boat !

INTRO-WORTHY STATS

aka, stats that aren’t that deep™

FULL NAME: Vera Floros DOB: August 17th, 1989 AGE: thirty FROM: Abergavenny, Wales OCCUPATION: “fortune teller” & a musician who doesn’t understand marketing ORIENTATION: bisexual CLASS: middle class ( that inheritance kicked in ! )

BACKGROUND:

CHILDHOOD

triggers: parental death, brief mentions of child abuse

alright, vera was born to a very young couple in wales. they’d gotten married fresh out of high school and had a child (her) just two years later. that being said, for about two years after, her mother began distancing herself from the father... not because he was a bad guy, but he moved cities entirely and she was NOT about that.

to be perfectly redundant, for about two years, it was just vera and her mother.

grandparents weren’t about their daughter being married. at 18. did they help pay rent for a separate living space? until vera’s mom was 21, yes. but was she welcomed in their house? lmao!!!!!

THEN her father blew back into town. they reconnected, they both began working more so that vera’s mother didn’t have to rely on her own (we’ll get to her dad’s parent’s in a second).

vera, at the Tender Age of Three™ learned that she was a complete Daddy’s Girl™. although she loved her mom for obvious reasons, she connected with her dad on an entirely different level. he was fun! he was playful! he was young, but he was the perfect dad! he even told dad jokes! which she didn’t get until she was five because three year olds usually aren’t that smart! they did little ‘acrobatic’ things! it was cute and fun and good!

but? this is a roleplay character?

our man died from unexpected heart failure. the autopsy showed an abnormality that hadn’t previously been discovered, and we know our man rarely went to the doctor. vera was six at the time.

her mom: married at 18, mother at 20, widow at 26.

because she and her mom had never developed that Close Bond™, it was difficult for her mother to figure out how to... like... keep her from wandering around... because just telling her not to wasn’t working... so she was like “you know what.... a leash.”

we love ‘puppy’ by george saunders

so whenever her mom was at work and vera wasn’t in school, she was tied to a tree in the backyard.

cruel and unusual punishment!

eventually, her mom kind of just... threw in the towel... she left completely for a change of pace. she said she would be back and that vera would be under the care of her father’s parents in athens until then.

her father’s parents had always been more accepting of the young marriage. they’d been more supportive of them being young parents, in spite of her father having left for a while. they’d definitely been supportive of vera and her mother during that time because they were like “omg mood”

there were a few other kids under their care, all related or not. they did some work for her father’s parents, but nothing very laborious – just sort of... Bonding™ ja feel?

so her mom DID keep her promise and returned three years later when vera was nine. mind you, vera had never held any feelings of resentment towards her mother. when she was six, she... just didn’t get it. at nine, she was old enough to be like “i get u.”

BUT her mother DID get remarried. she didn’t resent her for that, but... she was not fond of the new husband. he wouldn’t accept the ‘dad’ title, was very stern, very serious, made her mom seem like an absolute joy, etc.

but her mom was in love, so what could she do? and then they had a son together, so what could she do? nothing.

that summer, to learn more Discipline™, vera was sent to live with her step-father’s parents in london. boy howdy, it was nothing like her father’s parents! they had a knack for pointing out flaws, induced actual laborious work, constantly quoted the bible at the worst of times, and thought that a single head nod was the equivalent of “good job!” there were a couple of other kids there too, but yikes.

TEENS ( *hang ten emoji* ) + COLLEGE

triggers: brief domestic abuse implications

early was filled with Drama™ surrounding her step-father’s parents and her step-father himself. the overall consensus was that he was not a dope dude, nor were his parents. vera’s mother filed for divorce and gained sole custody of their son (keeping in mind.... she basically already had sole custody of vera.... considering she was her only legal guardian left lmao)

after the divorce was filed, vera’s mother was like “u kno what. my parents hate me. my first husband is dead. my second husband was a douche. i have no reason to be here anymore.” so they went to the land of golden opportunity

but wound up in america instead

(joke patented by dr. doofenshmirtz)

vera, around sixteen at the time (y’all i’m figuring out ages as i go along bear with me), now attended some strange high-school where they were like “fahrenheit.”

by the way! it was in holiday! that’s important to note for possible future connections!

it wasn’t an unwelcome change, though. starting over... was nice...

but the problem was that she was like her father in that she always acted before she thought... which made her a very dumb smart person.

alright get ready for the single idea that drove this entire thing:

she majored in philosophy then was *pikachu shocked face* when she realized there were no jobs out there for philosophy majors.

ADULTHOOD

alright... so what do you do when you have no good opportunities for things in your major?

you would think you would do something like... idk... find a well-paying job that doesn’t require a major?

or maybe a job that just requires experience in ___?

or maybe a job that just requires a bachelor’s degree of any sort?

or maybe a job that doesn’t require a major, but would like a major similar to yours, thus giving you a leg up?

etc.?

lmao no. you go to new orleans and become one of many phony fortune tellers using the one good thing you got from your weird upbringing: easy analysis of body language.

in addition, you try to make something of your life through music, but have no clue what ‘marketing’ is because you really don’t understand social media and probably still have the egg as your twitter profile picture.

what do you mean print is out of style?

what do you mean no one listens to CDs anymore?

what do you mean garageband isn’t acceptable to record on?

that being said, it’s not like... she wasn’t good at it... i mean she was v good at it... but musician is in quotes because she has made NOTHING of her LIFE with it. DOES NOT UNDERSTAND MARKETING.

*sonic kid vc* WHEN WILL YOU LEARN? WHEN WILL YOU LEARN? *end vc*

she got some decent pay from being a ‘fortune teller,’ though. tourists totally flocked and using a fake russian accent helped, as did... just speaking a language they didn’t know while pretending to contact spirits...

at least she’s a good scam artist

can’t market very well, but could probs create the next big ponzi scheme

returned to holiday when she heard news from her brother that her mother had fallen ill.

honestly rest in peace.

is still around because... that’s her home! sentiment! also rip!

also marketing isn’t as hard in holiday so???

also testing fortune telling out in holiday is more interesting so???

DOPE.

PERSONALITY

either really dumb for a smart person or really smart for a dumb person.

still has a childlike trait tbh. i mean when ur growing up just laying beneath child labor laws, ur gonna have to become a kid again eventually.

really bad at technology for reasons unknown to... everyone, but really good at scams.

has not thought before she acted even ONCE.

hasn’t used her degree since she was 22. the closest she’s come is buying some misc. philosophy books and sharing tidbits with strangers.

“now this is a taoist anthem” - vera @ ‘soak up the sun’ by sheryl crow

so many ragrets.

will find a way to bring up she’s half greek in every conversation.

“and i’ve had mental illness since i was in middle school. good night.” - that video someone edited of professor tox

im so bad at personality sections but she’s got a fun one y’all one of the few characters i’ve played who’s had a Sad Backstory™ but wound up being a Fun And Comedic Character™

TL;DR

that was my first time ever writing this whole thing out, so it got real long. so we gonna give a tl;dr:

triggers: v brief mentions of parental death, brief mentions of child abuse, v brief implication of domestic abuse

born to a v young couple in wales. dad was like “brb” then he did, indeed, come rb. loved dad. but dad died when she was six lmao get wreckt this is a roleplay character.

mom was like “idk what 2 do” so she took notes from george saunders’s ‘puppy’ and just tied vera to a tree when she was gone adjsflka. went away for a while and vera stayed with her dad’s parent’s in greece. came back three years later and reunitedanditfeelssogood.mp3.

got married tho and vera was like “i don’t like this guy” and mom was like “i’m having his child.” lived with his parents over the next few summers. they almost violate child labor laws. like. just a hair more. hare? became source of any self-hatred lmao get wreckt

vera’s mom and step-dad divorced bc he was horrible and they moved to holiday when she was sixteen. she left for college when she was eighteen. she decided to major in philosophy which was a bad idea and the source of her entire character.

decided to become a phony fortune teller in new orleans instead of... idk... just getting a job that didn’t require a degree or sumn? pretty successful tho! talked in a fake russian accent around tourists bc? why not?

also did/does music but has no idea how marketing works. bad at social media. records things on garageband. an overall fool. good but a fool.

back in holiday bc mom died lmao get wreckt we’re an orphan now boizzzz

Sad But Rad™

WANTED CONNECTIONS

it’s 2:38AM as i write this part and i still have to go back and include a stats thing bc i love those then post ic but i’ll update this w/ some when im done i suppose?? but we do love brainstorming in this house!!

like this or hmu if you’d like to plot !

#holidcyintro #ok! i said this at the top of the intro but this accidentally got rly long so if reading it all doesn't float ur boat there's a tl;dr at #the bottom!

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holydepths-blog · 6 years ago

Note

✩ watergate :3

this took too fucking long

Disagreements:

Who is more likely to raise their voice? i feel like emma cos she’s more angry dramatic and he’s more emo dramatic but i was also gonna say he probably should to accomodate for his heightWho threatens to leave but never actually does? neither of them, they’ve both left one another repeatedly. Who actually keeps their word and leaves? both of them, see above. Who trashes the house? i don’t think either of them … i can’t see him ever doing it but if he did she would kick his ass things need to be NEAT Do either of them get physical? basement gate tease ! but no … it’s soft …. that’s been erased from my memory … they’re emo not violent How often do they argue/disagree? all the time but about #dumb shit nowadays … used to be more serious but now? you like chocolate ice cream better? … idiot Who is the first to apologise? if they had a penny for every time mickey has apologised to her both of them could quit their low salary jobs and move to france

Sex:

Who is on top? bold of u to assume they aren’t both switches Who is on the bottom? ^Who has the strangest desires? Any kinks? mind ur fucking business … snuggling is a kink Who’s dominant in bed? i don’t think dominant has ever been in either of their vocabulary where’s the john mulaney gif abt soup in the lap … regaurdless … probably he has to be she’s babyIs head ever in the equation? she suck the dick for free and mickey is a good boy, he knows how to go down on a womf If so, who is better at performing it? i don’t know how sex works is it easier to eat thrussy or suck a dick … they both try the only thing that matters is that once he said she was better at sex than [ redacted ] Ever had sex in public? private public … like not dressing room public but like, romantic lookout in a car public … hope no coppers come 2 shine their flashlight Who moans the most? idk if this is my sexism or my lesbian but women should, legally, be required to moan more than menWho leaves the most marks? he better swallow his masculinity and get used to concealer but i feel like that wld not be an issue for him, king ! he can’t borrow hers though it won’t match Who screams the loudest? WHO YELLSWho is the more experienced of the two? mickey. fucking duh. Do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’? they make love :3Rough or soft? soft … unlike his penis How long do they usually last? haha 8 seconds joe goldberg tease? idk how long sex even lasts in general …. solidly average is my guess Is protection used? he better wrap it before he taps it my girl cannot afford plan b . so yesDoes it ever get boring? not …. boring but ….. consistent. when emma gets too drunk she asks odette for sex advice bc she doesn’t want to bore ickey Where is the strangest place they’d have sex? nowhere is strange if ur brave enough.

Family:

Do your muses plan on having children/or have children? …. yes ….If so, how many children do your muses want/have? she wants 27 children actually but literally anything from 1-30 will suffice …. they need a lot of help on his inevitable farm Who is the favorite parent? mickey is the fun parent so u already know who it is Who is the authoritative parent? REMEMBER the clip i sent u from the marky mark movie … she’s always the bad guy until he gets #fedup and he has to remind her that she’s not doing it this time AJSDKF Who is more likely to allow the children to have a day off school? Who lets the children indulge in sweets and junk food when the other isn’t around? honeslty both of them unless emma hoards all the candy … selfish Who turns up to extra curricular activities to support their children? both of them they make fucking SIGNS …. its a little league game u dont need to paint the football stripes on ur faceWho goes to parent teacher interviews? they both go but mickey is better at them because emma always goes into teacher mode and tries to talk about Who changes the diapers? mickey does he’s a NURSE he is not grossed out , she is . baby poop is rank Who gets up in the middle of the night to feed the baby? where tf is that gifset from prison break when u need it … she does but only because she hates diapers and it’s only fair to pop a tiddie out every night for ur kid in exchangeWho spends the most time with the children? ummmm FAMILY FUN NIGHT x Who packs their lunch boxes?Who gives their children ‘the talk’? mickey he is obligated as a medical professional she don’t teach sex ed …. Who cleans up after the kids? emma but only because she’s a neat freak Who worries the most? both of them try to pretend they’re VERY cool and nonchalant and this is actually very easy until one of them cracks (probably her) and they both worry together constantly . solidarity babey ! ….. moreso her tho u cannot change my mind Who are the children more likely to learn their first swear word from? auntie odette change my mind we said FUCK watergate lives , emdette rise

Affection:

Who likes to cuddle? both of them …. constntly …. disgusting Who is the little spoon? [ jake peralta vc ] everyone likes to be the little spoon, it makes them feel safe ! LOOK HERE buddy …. he is and i dont take questions , even when he was 10 ft Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places? can he fucking keep his hands AWF …. thats coming from me not emma she appreciates it Who struggles to keep their hands to themself? both of them …. its CONSTANT … hand on the shoulder , touching someone’s back as u walk past …. SOFT ! n then the one gif u sent from superstore where amy slaps jonah’s ass that’s emma How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable? they actually fall asleep cuddling and wake up complaining abt falling asleep in a uncomfortable position… shut up abt ur back pain ur not 80 Who gives the most kisses? KISS kisses …. he. but know … she’s always kissing him on the cheek What is their favourite non-sexual activity? this is gonna sound g*y as hell but stay with me here ………. just being in the same place , even when they’re doing diff stuff . TOGETHERNESS …. vomit time Where is their favourite place to cuddle? the couch , i retract my statement about them not being 80 they actually fall asleep watching tv Who is more likely to playfully grope the other? casually ? she … to actually initiate eye emoji ? he How often do they get time to themselves? all the time , they know 2 other people

Sleeping:

Who snores? he does im hcing this for ur own character If both do, who snores the loudest? she doesn’t SNORE she’s a lady Do they share a bed or sleep separately? they’ve been in 200 different stages of relationship ……. OTHER than depending on that , she sleeps better w him there :3If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart? they start far apart cos she’s a blanket hog but she always ends up next 2 him Who talks in their sleep? she mumbles sometimes ….. its nothing coherent What do they wear to bed? she owns 47 different stupid size xxxxxxxl shirts that were 2 bucks from walmart and wears only that . i bet mickey owns a bathrobe, bourgeois pig … Are either of your muses insomniacs? idk she reads a chapter of whatever dumb shit she’s reading and has tea or wine and conks out ….. idk his business Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside? idk abt taking them and ik its not the point but shes anal retentive abt keeping medicine in the medicine cabinet so THERE BETTER NOT BE Do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side? AS I SAID … they start out on opposite sides of the beg and end up more tangled than tangled (20whatever) Who wakes up with bed hair? his hair is floofy ,,,, Who wakes up first? i feel like that depends on his shifts …. she wakes up at the same damn time every week day …. weekends though she sleeps in for 10 yrs so him Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other? emma tries and he has to leave bed anyway because the fire alarm goes off What is their favourite sleeping position? she prefers it when she has all the blankets Who hogs the sheets? she does Do they set an alarm each night? they have JOBS does she look like pippa to u Can a television be found in their bedroom? yes so she can cry over dumb rom coms over somewhere other than the couch …… he’s invested in them , change my mind Who has nightmares? i already know ur about to say he does so im calling the cops on u end of story Who has ridiculous dreams? all of emma’s dreams are indistinguishable from bad acid trips Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed? she sleeps in the fetal position he seems like a sprawler …..Who makes the bed? emma …. its gotta be CLEAN and if he ever says “why make it we’re just gonna sleep there again” its on SIGHT What time is bed time? whenever she passes out , always before midnight , considering they’re 72Any routines/rituals before bed? i bet they brush their teeth at the same time to see who can do it faster like they’re five year olds …. or that gifset from new girl where he’s like “ u read my walking dead fanfic ? ”Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up? emma takes three cups of coffee to be able to be her CHIPPER self ….

Work:

Who is the busiest? she has like a 6 hour work day so he for sure Who rakes in the highest income? i just googled nurses versus preschool teachers and he makes twice what she does …. laughs nervously …. glad she’s going back 2 school but elementary teachers STILL make less …. mr talbot got COIN ! Are any of your muses unemployed? no , freeloading is ILLEGAL Who takes the most sick days? i feel like the two worst jobs to go into sick are a literal hospital with immunocompromised people and a preschool with toddlers who dont wash their hands …. equal maybe Who is more likely to turn up late to work? despite her original beef with odette in the apocalypse verse emma is NEVER late to work Who sucks up to their boss? she cooks dinner , a nice LASAGNA for whoever to heat up and mickey has to break it to her that making whoever her superior is eat what tastes like glue will in fact , damage their relationship What are their jobs? hes a nursey boy …. shes a teacher Who stresses the most? about life in general? her. about work? probably him. he’s dealing with LIVES she’s got the alphabet Do your muses enjoy or despise their careers/occupations? they better they aren’t getting paid enough to hate it Are your muses financially stable? they’re not rich but they’re not dying and that’s what matters

Home:

Who does the washing? emma because it relaxes her Who takes out the trash? he better , she does not like to LOOK at things once they are thrown out … its smelly Who does the ironing? neither of them have ironed anything in their lives Who does the cooking? HE HAS TO IDC if he isn’t fuckign gordon ramsay she’ll kill them Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying? emma Who is messier? if he leaves a single sock on the floor he is automatically messier than her Who leaves the toilet roll empty? that’s satanic neither of them Who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor? he does …. its just not REALISTIC that she does Who forgets to flush the toilet? that’s gross ……hopefully neither ….. DISGOSTEING.mp4Who is the prankster around the house? anything STUPID is hers and hers alone but i feel like he’d do something relatively innocent and it would go HORRIBLY wrong like , hey emma come get y’all juice ….Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere? despite being organized in every other aspect of her life emma has never kept track of keys in her life its a disease Who mows the lawn? he does , he shld do it shirtless so she can objectify him Who answers the telephone? mickey, she truly stares at it hoping it’ll go away Who does the vacuuming? emmaWho does the groceries? she would make HORRIBLE decisions ,,, he shld make the list and she shld get it Who takes the longest to shower? no sexism but she’s a girl Who spends the most time in the bathroom? see above

Miscellaneous:

Is money a problem? yES like … they can afford groceries , make rent , but for literally every american except jeff bezos money is a problem in some area . this isn’t a hc just a capitalist hellscape How many cars do they own? two …. neither of them are very nice cars Do they own their home or do they rent? rent unless/until he gets the farm of his dreams Do they live near the coast or deep in the countryside? countryside thats where FARMS are … but like rn , coast cos there’s the ocean in town Do they live in the city or in the country? see above bbgDo they enjoy their surroundings? the goats of the future and the noisy neighbors of the current and past eras both leave something to be desired , but in general yes What’s their song? not to go all modern au but remember when stereo hearts was on their 2011 mixtape AJSKDF …. issa bop and its arguably the most cutesy singable on the playlist What do they do when they’re away from each other? bitch idk ? exist as human beings ?Where did they first meet? idk she probably met him for coffee or sum before moving in together to make sure he wasn’t a serial killer How did they first meet? they were roommates … oh my god they were roommates …. she prolly put an ad in the paper very lucky she did not get murdered x Who spends the most money when out shopping? i feel like neither of them are big spenders but her sticker and colored pen budget is larger than it should be Who’s more likely to flash their assets? i thought this was talking about tits for a second but im assuming mone ? they keep it humble Who finds it amusing when the other trips over? they both do , bullying one another is a bonding experience Any mental issues? more than you know my guy Who’s terrified of bugs? if she sees a SPIDER she floors it , but she releases most other bugs …. he better kill anything w 8 legs tho Who kills the spiders around the house? mickey , as described above wow im psychic Their favourite place? they can make any place work together … gay but true , just like me Who pays the bills? she has a special binder just for taxes Do they have any fears for their future? all the fears actually Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner? she cannot cook but she has 10/10 ordered takeout , put it on plates and been like :the happy version of the pensive emoji yk the one: i cooked it while the reciept is still on the counter Who uses up all of the hot water? thats very selfish she wld never but she also showers first bc she doesn’t trust him not to ….. Who’s the tallest? they , in american , are the SAME HEIGHT ,,, fuck centimeters Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other?Who wanders around in their underwear? clothes are oppressive let them both do it coward Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio? it probably turns into a competition until they’re both singing at the top of their lungs …. omg watergate you’re gonna burst a vocal cord oh my god they can’t hear us they have airpods in What do they tease each other about? literally everything …. one of them BREAHTES wrong and the other is like “ ah didnt realise the asthma express was in town “ Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times? mickey literally dresses like the fresh prince so u already answered that for me Do they have mutual friends? can the real jack detler please stand up Who crushed first? she ……. did not immediately fall in love with him let me tell u , it took her some solid MONTHS to realise she was in deep for his bitch ass Any alcohol or substance related problems? i wld hope not , #stubie twWho is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am? them , together , for getting kicked out of the bar for singing Who swears the most? neither ?

#vampiresmiled #004. emma / phillips » all posts.#006. emma / phillips » featuring mikhail.

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pooklet · 6 years ago

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unaesthetic asks (anon edition)

i usually use a psd for asks to make them look nice and transparent and number them but tbh it’s just keeping me from answering asks quickly, having to shift layers around and stuff. so this is me literally cutting and pasting the text of some asks into a text post instead, sry.

if i did not answer yr thing here i lost/never got the ask, need a separate post to answer it (community lot anon), or worked myself into an anxious lather when i did not have an immediate response at the ready and fled into the woods to hide inside an old damp log and mutate slowly into a creature composed entirely of moss.

1) hey friend i think i can actually help with this one! slig did my poor lover for momma lisa, and has a few of my other skins linked to different body meshes in this tag here. @asimplevampire also did rehash for androgyny. those are the two i know off the top of my head but if anyone else knows any others pls reply to this post!

i don’t personally make showerproof skintones for body meshes because i a) am lazy and b) don’t usually take pics of my sims in the shower or naked in general so the occasional floating head just gives me a lil chortle when it does happen.

2) yis, it is the second to last one in this post by @magpieplayssims with a bunch of face masks piled on.

3) i use a personal edit of gunmod’s 3.1 A camera which alters the, like, central pivot axis so i can swing the camera underground into any basements i might be using. as a result, whenever i load the lot, it starts me off zoomed inside the floor, you just gotta zoom out with the scroll wheel to get above ground and it works normally from there. i haven’t figured out how to mitigate this while still being able to access underground rooms. which is why my edit never got its own post, but i did share it here.

4) nah, not really. i mean i have an outdated one at the back of my catalogue but my face is boring to me cuz i see it every day n stuff & i’m less and less interested in making human features now that custom sliders have let me go absolutely mad with power.

5) ye sorry i put that on my to-do list and promptly forgot about it cuz my brain seems to think that putting something on a list means it’s done forever now!!!! but now it’s actually done and i’m fixing the other links too.

6) yr phone is a craven liar and i will not stand for this libel. earlier today i was genuinely bewildered by a discussion about channing tatum cuz i thought his name was tatum channing. i sat there for minutes, convinced that there were two guys in hollywood one named channing tatum and the other named tatum channing and wondering if that ever got confusing for them.

7) u would be surprised, friend! my memory is a lawless wasteland but i do not end up chatting back and forth w/ many ppl b/c i am a seething pit of social anxiety. if we talked, like, more than twice, i probs remember u!

8) omg i was about to be like “nah i never made nosemasks for those” but that is a fucking lie of the highest caliber, i totally did make one (1) set and then forgot entirely about it. i will post them with the next batch of bodyshop content which should be Shortly (and if i don’t just yell @ me and i’ll just lazily put them on sfs and link them in a reply).

also thank u anon i am glad u like my content! :D

9) omg thank u so much anon that is so sweet of u to say!! truly i don’t feel like i have accomplished a whole lot beyond managing to snag @resurrection-failed but that is definitely the Best thing i could accomplish so i am 100% fine w/ that

10) oh ts4. i want to play it real bad but i have discovered that playing games that are still being updated and could break at any moment due to a new patch or ep gives me hives. esp when it’s sims games b/c those are held together exclusively w/ wishes and prayers as it is. they’re like the bottom panel of an expanding brain meme on spaghetti coding. at least when the game is Done there nothing else for EA to break (... right?). plus i only have base+pets and no money to throw at the other expansions so i could maybe download 1/10th of the cc available out there ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

but i am excited to be late af to the party. lemme tell u. thank u for saying such nice things, anon!! i hope u have a good day also. like, lots of ‘em.

11) hey anon! it’s built into tumblr’s text editor. u type the text first, highlight it, and click on the fourth button that looks like a slouchy figure 8 to insert yr link. i’m not sure if it’s the same on mobile, tho, cuz the tumblr mobile app is self-elected torture.

12) i do not right now but i can make one. idk if it would interest you but i am also doing a big ol’ blend of the hq eyes and wifezaya’s favorite ephemera mist eyes and will make a default version of those too when they are done.

13) nah i am still using my v3 texture for straight hairs and for waves or natural hair i just use nouk’s originals. i’m old-fashioned and boring. if u need help w/ making yr own, tho, i would suggest checking out @furbyq’s tutorial here!

14) hey friend! i did have plans to do that, in that vague way where i have plans to do many things but most of the time end up taking a five-hour nap under a cat instead or watchin game grumps. luckily, @digitalangels is a doll and did it for me so consider this my official endorsement. i am pooklet and i approve this action.

15) hey anon. when did i call it that?? i think usually i just call it marriage or equal marriage if i need to specify (or gay marriage if i’m feelin Spicy cuz nonbinary-for-nonbinary is pretty gay). if i did say same-sex it was probs w/ implied air-quotes since that was the term du jour when we got married, which was 3+ years before the supreme court mandate, when it was only legal in some places and everyone was still ‘‘‘‘debating’’’’ the ‘‘��‘issue’’’’ of queers gettin all married.

16) i been gatherin’ links for u anon but lemme look around a lil more. i will either give this its own post or add it as its own section in the resource post that is like .... five years overdue. meanwhile if anyone reading this has anything they either know is made for dark skin or works well universally or knows of a list like this that already exists, i would appreciate links!

17) I KNOW THAT’S YOU, AZAYA

#anonymous #pooklet replies #wcif #pazooka #pooklet irl #sims 2 #ts2 #also if u got cakebread wcifs plssss ask me on dreamwidth #in the post in question #with a link to the picture

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resmarted · 3 years ago

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had a dream i forgot to sign all of my paintings (which i also do irl) and i went into an art show that had all of them on display and went to sign each one at the bottom and ended up doing my big giant signature of my gvt name. which i never use but have been considering revamping to for a while now. but i also hate hearing my real name from strangers’ mouths! it’s like binch you don’t know me or my family why are you calling my by my christian name. the separation of identity is vital to my psychological safety and it keeps the sacred nature of the Real Name protected for those who deserve to have access to it. i mean idk. also has been my moniker since age 12. for a long time i felt like there were people who knew me as my like, corporate legal identity and then there were people who knew the Real Me (LP) which is the more relaxed version of me that isn’t just the sweet nice school teacher version that isn’t allowed to be anything but a perfect version of myself. idk how to explain it other than most performers, especially in comedy where there’s a lot of dirty and scandalous nature in the jokes being told, go by a different name than their original bc nobody wants to be unemployable once their google searches show a bunch of anal jokes on youtube or whatever. like the broad majority of us are all using names that cannot be identified by potential job sites. mine just so happens to be something everyone i have ever encountered on the internet since 1997 has known me as. there is the surface version of me then there is the secret world of 20+ years of blogging that i have only recently become more transparent about in terms of allowing people i know in real life to have access to, bc at this point i just don’t care anymore if you can see what i’m quietly thinking about aloud online all the time. a merging of identities is a weird transition tho.

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hellforcertain · 7 years ago

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i like how one of the few reasons i can pinpoint when about i got sick is that i can use snowmageddon (late 2014/early 2015) as a starting point

this is really long and i’d appreciate you not reblogging this but i don’t think i’ve ever written any of this out, and i would keep it private somewhere else but i kinda want to feel idk. validated? i never really put it into words like this until now. would also appreciate if you respond to this in some way (either a like or a reply) if you read it.

[cw for suicidal ideation in one part; skip the paragraph that begins “at some point that spring...”, after i talk abt my grandpa, if you don’t want to read it. it’s referenced in the next paragraph too. idk if there’s anything else i really need to warn for, but tell me if i do.]

i injured my knee thanksgiving 2013, when i was a sophomore. i was hiking in the hills around my parents’ house with some of my cousins, and it had snowed recently so everything was slick and slippery, and at one point my feet slid out from under me and i tumbled down an incline until my right knee connected with a tree. that thankfully stopped my fall but like, at what cost.

it was so bad that jo had to half-support me walking the couple blocks from our dorms to tufts to have an x-ray done in december 2013, which had been recommended by emerson’s health center (which was a joke; when i saw... i think an NP, she had to flip through a book until she found the “knee” section before she examined me). i couldn’t attend several classes of one of my courses the rest of that semester bcos it was in the building furthest from my dorm and i could barely walk there; i barely made it to the final. i never heard from the health center about the x-ray, so i figured that at least it wasn’t broken. it still bothered me but it became more manageable than it had been (not entirely tho bcos iirc i failed or didn’t complete two courses spring 2014, but that was also bcos of the undiagnosed adhd).

i moved directly into the studio from my sophomore dorm in may 2014, and lived there until june 2015 (which encompassed my junior year until i dropped out in november 2014).

my parents wanted me to fly down to spend a week in florida with them in august 2014, and i think this is what happened: the morning before i left on that flight i rolled off my futon badly and banged my bad knee against the (hardwood) floor really hard. i was in pain for a lot of that trip -- flying certainly didn’t help matters -- and when i got back it didn’t get better so i bought a cane a couple weeks before classes started back so i could get used to it before i had to use it to get to class.

(at the end of that trip, my mom forced me to let her clean out my ear with a qtip, jabbed it in too far and fucked up my ear, and then the next day i got on a plane back to boston and the issue got so bad i couldn’t walk down the street without holding onto a wall. i don’t think my eardrum burst or anything because it was better by the time i actually got to see a specialist about it and i haven’t suffered any permanent effects from it as far as i can tell, but at times it felt like it.)

i bought a cane in mid august 2014, and i know bcos i ordered it off amazon. the florida trip might have been in mid august, so there’s a possibility i banged my knee on the floor before the florida trip, and bought the cane when i realized i wouldn’t be able to walk in florida without it.

i know i reinjured my knee in august 2014, and i know i bought a cane then, and i know i also damaged my eardrum in august 2014 when i was in florida (well, my mom damaged it). i’m not sure exactly what order those took place in.

it got worse as the semester progressed, and i started doing less and less well in my courses, because not only was i dealing with the still-undiagnosed adhd, i was also in a lot of pain all the time. i remember making the conscious decision to stop going to my spanish class bcos the professor would have us stand up and walk around the class and talk to each other a lot and i couldn’t manage standing up for even that long, and i was so scattered and so fucked up from middle & high school that i couldn’t ask for help and the easier option was just to stop attending. i made the decision to go on medical leave late that semester -- probably in november or december 2014, i can’t remember which. there was the death of a family friend who i had been close to around that time too, and i was in too much pain and too swamped with trying to catch up on all these courses i hadn’t been attending to fly to florida and attend her funeral, which was another stone on top of all the others weighing me down (when i told my parents i had dropped out, i told them that it was her death that sent me into a breakdown, which wasn’t entirely a lie; i just didn’t tell them i’d been having a breakdown for months up until then).

i started getting sick and feeling pain that i couldn’t explain at all -- sure, i knew why my knee hurt, but i didn’t know why my joints were stiff and painful, and why i was hurting randomly separately from the joint pain. it got so bad that some days i had to crawl to get to the bathroom, and it was only a handful of steps away from my bed. i stopped doing my t shots bcos it was too much effort when i hurt so much already -- it got to the point that my periods started back up again, though i only had them very rarely. i think the only thing i managed to do was go to my shifts as desk guy in one of the dorms on campus.

when i went to visit my parents at some point, my mom thought it was just bcos i needed to get in shape and lose some weight to lessen the stress on my bad knee. tbh i don’t know when that happened, i just knew it was when i was still a student bcos i went to the gym once with a friend and it was really fuckin painful and terrible and just made everything worse. she might have said that when we were in florida, actually. idk.

living in the studio meant i lived totally alone, but jo was there a lot bcos i had an extra bed (i’d bought a loft bed bcos i wanted one and had never had one as a kid and this place had high ceilings, but i’d also bought a futon for cheap off a guy who was moving out of the building, which turned out to be a real blessing when i couldn’t make it up the ladder to the loft bed; when jo stayed at the computer labs late working on projects, they’d come crash on my loft bed bcos my building was near campus and by the time the labs closed, the t had stopped running) and i made kinda-friends with the security desk guy

that fall and winter i’d say i saw delivery guys more often than i saw my own friends (bcos i literally couldn’t handle the walking that grocery shopping would have required, and i didn’t know abt grocery delivery services at the time. idk if they were even a thing at the time). all “groceries” were bought at the cvs down the block, bcos they had things like butter and shredded cheese and tortillas (i ate a lot of tortillas that year) and pre-cut fruit, and the walgreens across the street from cvs had frozen burger patties that i think set off the smoke alarm every time i cooked them; anything else i ate was from delivery guys. i dissociated a lot that year, very very badly, and some delusional tendencies i’d had in high school came rearing back up.

bcos i couldn’t do much else i threw myself into this site (esp on one of my sideblogs), and if you look at the amount of stuff i reblogged/posted then vs now you’d see that i had p much no other life. which was... not good but i also made some really good and valuable friendships then -- including em so like, not everything from then turned out bad. sadly, a lot of irl friendships stagnated, and it wasn’t the other party’s fault. i also played a lot of skyrim bcos it was one of like. two games i owned for my ps3, and even though the rest of me hurt a lot, my hands were surprisingly okay.

(i also went through a series of nb identities and pronouns that never really fit bcos that was the heyday of tumblr’s whole “if ur a trans man ur evil for wanting to be a man, u should be nb instead” phase and i was far too concerned with all that bcos like i said, i didn’t have much of a life outside this site at the time.)

i don’t recall much of thanksgiving or christmas breaks at my parents’, except that i got my name legally changed during i think christmas break 2014. iirc we had to reschedule my flight back to boston bcos i had to wait an extra day to be able to get everything done that i needed to, and bcos we needed to change the name on the flight. i remember crying at some official bcos they said that they couldn’t get me a new... driver’s license maybe? until a couple days down the road, but i had to be back for college by then and i have everything else done please just let me get my license today. and since it’s a small town in the south they totally folded, thankfully. i was just very stressed at that point, i hadn’t even meant to cry at them.

then snowmageddon happened in early 2015, and classes were cancelled and roads were closed and the t like, half shut down until like may. it was especially bad for me because most of my friends were in allston and they couldn’t exactly get downtown to hang out with me much. iirc, my friend who was an RA left college around the same time i did, maybe a few months before? i think i was still working desk shifts when they left, so it had to have been before i did.

march 2015 was good and bad: during jo’s spring break (and what would have been mine if i had still been in college), we escaped the snow and took their car on a roadtrip down the blue ridge parkway (well. that was the plan but it was closed thanks to the snow, so we drove down I-95 and ended up in asheville nc like two days after our leisurely road trip started. i turned 21 on that roadtrip, and so no longer had to rely on my friends to buy me alcohol, which was nice. we celebrated it at this local restaurant in whatever town we’d stopped at that night, and all i remember is that you could buy steaks from a counter at the front, and the drink i ordered for myself was incredibly orange.

my grandpa also died that march; he’d actually been dying since february, but i didn’t go to see him then; jo and i were in knoxville tn at one point, and my parents wanted me to drive up since knoxville is only like three hours from my hometown, but by then he was p much in a coma so it wouldn’t really be visiting, would it, and also it would have been mega unfair to drag jo into that mess. iirc his funeral was that april, bcos there was a funeral service at my parents’ church where he occasionally preached at, and then one at the mennonite church he attended after moving in with us, and then they had to get him to ohio for the big service (which was the one i attended).

(this was the grandpa who thought i was possessed by a demon for being trans so like. lmao. didn’t mourn him much then, and still haven’t.)

at some point that spring, after the spring break roadtrip and grandpa’s funeral, my dysphoria got really really really bad, bad enough to trigger the most suicidal episode i’d had since middle school/high school. it was a culmination of the negative thoughts and feelings i’d been having since i moved into this place (which had only worsened as i got sicker and when winter hit). i didn’t do anything, but i had to call a friend every time i left the building for like a week so that i didn’t walk into traffic.

i moved out of the studio at the end of april or may of 2015, and went back to live with my parents for a bit because the lease for my text apartment didn’t start until september 2015 (since i was living with friends/former classmates who were still in school and weren’t going to be in boston until classes started back up in september). moving out was an Ordeal bcos my dad came up to help me and brought my sister, who hated boston so much that she was on the edge of a panic attack the whole time, which made her impossible to deal with. at one point we got into a fight over something super minor and it escalated and ended with her screaming at the top of her lungs, in my empty echoey studio that had the door open so god and all my neighbors could hear, that she wished i was dead. this was not the first or last time she expressed this sentiment, and was tame compared to some (like the time she said she’d stab me in my sleep). i told her i’d been suicidal weeks earlier and she left the building to go take something to the car and when i didn’t follow her (bcos i was cooling off), she freaked out and had a panic attack all over our dad. she didn’t tell him why, or that she was at fault, and when i came down a few minutes later he ripped into me until i stopped and told him what she had said. so, yknow. a fun final memory of that apartment.

i think that was when my mom finally acknowledged that my pain wasn’t just a weight thing, and that i should actually see someone when i got back to boston. my symptoms got worse too: i started having horrible pain in my hands, to the point that i couldn’t move them, and none of us really knew what to do. i found some compression gloves online and begged my mom to let me get them but she kept refusing because she was worried i’d mess my hands up worse with them, and i still don’t entirely understand that train of thought, because i was like, screaming crying at them because i was hurting so so much, and some compression gloves couldn’t have been worse than that (and i finally pointed out that they were gloves; i could take them off if they were hurting more than helping). they finally relented, thankfully.

june 2015 was the first time i met em in person; i decided, almost on impulse, to take a week and drive down to florida and spend the week with them bcos they were living with their grandparents at the time and their grandparents were going to be out of town for like a week. they played a lot of fnv on their ps3 while i played don’t starve on my laptop. the place had a guest bedroom that was technically mine, but i don’t think i ever used it except to get changed; we tended to pass out in weird positions on em’s bed. we didn’t get much else done bcos i discovered that florida weather + my joints wasn’t a great combo, but it was still an amazing week.

that same summer i also got fitted for my knee brace. i think that same summer i got some treatments from a sports medicine doctor my mom is friends with. possibly steroid injections? i’d have to ask her.

i moved into the medford house with some friends in september 2015, and dear lord was that a mess. the roommates were great, don’t get me wrong, but the house had mice we had to take care of, there was a gas leak at one point bcos the stove’s knobs didn’t work right and didn’t shut off the gas when we turned them off, the boiler was a broken leaky piece of shit that would shut itself off every like two days bcos the water level got so low (contrast the place we’re living in now, where we had to go put more water in the boiler maybe like. three times all winter), the landlord and his wife were total creeps and freaks -- he would only respond to my email even though my roommates tried to open lines of communication at various times, and one time i woke up with her in my bedroom bcos she was checking the radiator (which wasn’t working bcos the boiler wasn’t working and they refused to fix or replace it until winter was over) and she had the audacity to chew me out for my space heater. i was fucking sick, lady. give me a fucking break. the best thing, hands down, about the medford place was there was a corner store with a good deli across the street, so i could go in my pajamas to get a good sandwich and a box of fries. great place, great people.

i got referred to a rheumatologist that fall, and my first appointment with him was in november (i also at some point... i think in spring of 2015 started using testogel, because i wouldn’t have been able to get the stuff for injections refilled while i was in kentucky. i don’t remember when i switched back to injections but i did at some point while living at the medford house, which i once again was terrible at keeping up with).

at the time, my deadname was still on my insurance bcos even tho i’d changed my name earlier that year, i was still on my parents’ insurance and my dad wouldn’t fucking change my name there and wouldn’t give me the information to do it myself. my rheumatologist took one look at me and how i was responding to being called my deadname, and he asked if there was another name i went by that i’d be more comfortable with, and i was rarely called my deadname again after that (and only by a couple nurses until they got to know me better). ofc that stopped being an issue when i switched to my own masshealth plan (in early 2017 i think?).

he listened to the whole mess of a story, felt my joints, and then poked at the middle of my chest (which i now know is a common fibro trigger point). when i recoiled back bcos that hurt far more than it should have, he said “yep that looks fibro-y.” i don’t remember if i suggested fibro and/or rheumatoid arthritis, or if he did. he prescribed me some medications -- including tramadol, my savior that winter. i’d been taking tramadol already bcos i’d had some left over from... i think lasik, and a friend had given me some percocet for very bad days. i was so unused to the tramadol back then that it’d throw me for a loop, occasionally make me nauseated, and also knock me out. it was p great.

back then i’d have to ask my roommate danny to open like, water or pop bottles nine times out of ten bcos i just couldn’t. now, i can’t remember the last time i had a serious problem opening bottles on a consistent basis. there have been some bad days where i couldn’t, but it’s not like that’s all the time.

i improved in fits and starts after that; i can’t remember all the meds i tried with him, but i’m sure they’re in a file somewhere that i could request. i still wasn’t doing anywhere near good, but it was better than before -- if only, maybe, bcos i wasn’t dealing with this totally on my own. but you know what didn’t help? that house’s terrible fucking boiler. we’d wake up some days in the middle of winter and it’d be in the 50s inside the house, and i was the only one who knew how to fix the boiler (i’d taught the roommates, including the subletter we got when danny left for a semester in LA, but apparently the only one who could go down the stairs to take care of it was the fuckin cripple).

spring 2016 was awesome bcos i’d gotten a ps4 and destiny for christmas, and the subletter we got had two cats who i loved and who loved me, and everything was beautiful even tho i definitely still hurt a lot. i can’t remember much of note during this period, health-wise. it was mostly more of the same, but on top of it was trying to balance playing a shooter and having shitty hands that didn’t want me down anything with them.

summer 2016, when i was still in the medford house, em came to visit me (among other people -- they roadtripped up over the course of a couple weeks) and spent several days there. i had plans to take them to do touristy stuff in boston, but that never happened haha. and like we don’t have a solid date on when we got together bcos long-distance stuff can be fuzzy about things like that but that visit was our first kiss.

in september 2016 i moved into the allston apartment, and the less i say about that the better. i started back with a therapist in like february 2017; i hadn’t been to a therapist for years by this time, bcos my previous therapist had moved to a different office in the network and then left the area and i had never gotten back in touch with her after she moved to the other office. i also started on testopel, because injections were once again not working out.

that apartment was p much like living in the studio bcos even tho i had two roommates, it was an apartment i’d found in an emerson group centered on finding roommates, so i hadn’t known either of them beforehand; i wasn’t really living with them; we just happened to share some common spaces. health-wise i improved some as we found medications that worked for me, but i was still not doing even close to good. i had trouble going grocery shopping even though the grocery store was only a handful of blocks away because various parts of me would hurt too much to handle it, and by the time i was halfway home i would be almost dead. so, yknow. not a great time overall.

in september of 2017 i moved into this house with em and jo, and it’s been a fantastic decision bcos im finally living with people who care about me and will kick my ass into shape if i need it. em finally made me go to my rheumatologist and be like “so i know i’ve been saying i’ve been fine but i moved in with my partner recently and they’ve pointed out that im doing less fine than i said bcos i’d brushed off a lot of things as normal that they’ve told me are not, in fact, normal”, which was when he prescribed flexeril, and i think that’s helped me more than almost anything else has. holy shit. im taking a higher dose than my father (who’s like 6′1″ and has at least a hundred pounds on me) can handle but it’s working for me. i also went back to t injections a couple months ago bcos i didn’t enjoy missing everything for a week bcos it took forever for the testopel spot to heal, and i couldn’t sit on the spot until it healed; plus now that i’m living with em, they can remind me when i forget to do my shot. also, after a lot of fits and starts and panic over the last few years, im finally talking with a surgeon about top surgery.

overall like, i went back and looked at a lot of posts i made several years ago to get dates for this point, and i can barely recognize myself in some of those posts. my illnesses had ground everything else away, until all that was the physical pain and the emotional anguish, and i wish i could tell my past self that it gets better: that he’ll find medications that work for him and he’ll move in with people who he loves and love him back, and that it’s not all sunshine and rainbows here in 2018 but it’s so much better. 2015 me definitely deserved that.

and that’s true: that i’m not cured, and i still have very bad days, but i’m also having more and more good days -- days that were unthinkable back then. i’m on medications that help me physically, and i’ve been diagnosed with adhd and am on a medication that helps me mentally. when i flew down to kentucky earlier this month to attend my sister’s graduation, my dad remarked on how much better i was walking and moving just compared to thanksgiving. i can’t even imagine comparing myself now to myself a few years ago. i think i’m going to save this post so that when i’m feeling down about being sick, i can remind myself how far i’ve come, and how much i’ve weathered so far; whatever storm comes next, i think i’ll be able to handle it.

idk where i was trying to go with this, but it ended up a super overly long chronicle of the last few years. so uh. yeah. like i mentioned before, i’d appreciate if you show that you read all this, either with a like or a reply, esp if you get to the end

#nick gets personal #not 4 ur blog #fibro diaries

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rrrawrf-writes · 7 years ago

Text

sasha eliseo montoya

nicknames/aliases: eli, seo, flowers, monty, flower metal, escudo brillante

age: mid-thirties

appearance: around 6′4″, broad shoulders, very strong. hair is naturally brown, but he generally dyes it bright pink, and keeps it cut short in something between a crew cut and a faux hawk. wears several earrings in both ears, usually simple metal studs or small hoops. has extensive tattoos of flowers and vines that go down both arms and across the sides and back of his neck. has a scar through his left eyebrow. a few other scars, but nothing otherwise remarkable.

when he uses his powers, his entire body, including hair, turns to metal, but his clothes remain as they are.

current location: strawberry, colorado, USA - a tiny town where MI HQ is secretly located

family: all right nerds, buckle in

eli is the oldest of twelve kids. they are all still living. both parents are still living.

mother from russia

father from spain

both living in the US

siblings scattered in various parts of the country/world

several nieces and nephews so far

(soon-to-be) ex-husband: daniel

two daughters: nikita, six, tatiana, eight

both adopted, both sisters, both african-american

nikita can levitate, tatiana tested negative for powers

one son: siope, still like 18 months old or thereabouts, samoan, adopted, has not been tested for powers but is known to come from a family rotten with them, has not shown anything yet

powers: eli can transform parts of all of his body into any kind of metal, as long as he has skin contact with it. this, apart from the aesthetic, is why he wears several earrings in each ear. each one is a different kind of metal. when he can’t wear the earrings, he’ll go either for rings, or for a leather belt that has metal studs.

he can turn into more than one kind of metal alloy at a time, but it’s difficult to keep up, so eli generally has to focus or touch whichever kind of metal he wants. sometimes his transformation is automatically triggered under surprise or duress, such as when someone throws a stapler at his face, or he’s stabbed or shot or otherwise unexpectedly attacked.

eli is already very strong, but he gains additional enhanced strength while he’s transformed. he is also slower, and being metal for longer than an hour or so starts to become exhausting, as it feels like he’s basically carrying his own body weight. eli is not completely impenetrable in this state; bullets generally don’t do more than bruise, and he can generally withstand close explosions, but he can still be injured int he right set of circumstances. his blood, unlike basically everything else in his body, does not change.

weaknesses: very weak to electricity, can’t swim very well

personality: pretty easy-going, very upbeat. the mom of the office. total crap at budgeting, which has gotten him into financial trouble several times. he dotes on his kids, his younger siblings, their kids, his teammates, basically everyone.

he is very compassionate, and believes in giving people second chances. and third chances. and fifth chances. and sixth chances. and -

eli is also scarily good at separating his work life from his personal. his job requires him to go toe-to-toe with a lot of people, yet he very rarely holds any kind of grudge against them afterwards, regardless if he won or lost or ended up in the hospital. several people who probably should count him as an enemy - or at least a problem - often find themselves in the confusing position of really liking this guy they’re supposed to be beating the crap out of.

he is fiercely protective of his family, to the point where if you show up at his house uninvited and you are known to be any sort of dangerous, eli will not hesitate to pull a gun on you. you’ve basically become family when he invites you over and lets you meet his kids.

currently, besides the kids, eli has kawai, javed, and alexei bunking at his place for various reasons. this is a normal thing. he needs a babysitter (and not for the children).

daniel the almost-ex-husband bought the girls a couple rabbits because they were obsessed with them, and didn’t bother to check if they were fixed or the same gender. as a result, eli got saddled with raising a ton of bunny rabbits, and has reluctantly grown to love them. his daughters name them all after superheroes. they’re running out of names. they are also running out of room.

eli often encrypts important MI information in pictures of his bunnies. the office has a theory that this is just so he can make them all look at them during slideshow presentations. he also often calls his daughters his ‘rabbits.’

he has a tendency, whenever he gets really drunk, to kiss whatever guy is within arm’s reach. however, he also reaches the point where he gets super weepy and emotional. he tries to get home before he reaches that point. he almost always fails.

general history: eli grew up bouncing between spain and russia. his father was a small-time superhero in spain, and while he isn’t sure what his mother did in russia, while she doesn’t seem to have a criminal record, it still seemed like a good idea for her to get out of the country, and she is very cryptic about it. eventually, his father got into enough trouble, and the family was growing, that they decided to leave europe altogether. they moved to the united states when eli was sixteen, and during the process, had to disclose eli’s powers.

as a result, MUGD decided they wanted him and pretty much blackmailed him and his parents into sending him into their training program as a teenager. eli met javier during this process, and was something of a bully. he was pushed into the military at eighteen, did some [redacted], won a [redacted], saved lots of people in [redacted], [redacted] with [redacted], and along the way, met and fell in love with and also [redacted] daniel.

at some point, he wanders back to spain for a minute and ends up picking up where his dad left off. idk when this happens. or if it actually does.

daniel is not powered, but he was serving as a CO in MUGD. it is Not A Good Idea to date a superior officer. eli eventually gets out but daniel stays in, they get married, eli gets hired by MI. he and daniel eventually adopt nikita and tatiana, then soon after that, daniel wants to divorce him, starts the legal process, and then daniel starts stalling because he doesn’t want to go through with it.

sux 2 b him tho because eli is gonna see this through.

after the divorce is started, kawai shows up with a baby and convinces eli to adopt siope, too.

regrets: honestly, there’s a lot here. he regrets a ton of stuff he did as an american soldier, and also as an MI employee. he regrets ever sticking around to try and help starblast when that wasn’t part of the job, and starblast was known to hate MI. he regrets a lot of stuff he’s said to daniel, and sometimes, he regrets staying with MI even though he knows it’s highly dangerous for his family.

fears: drowning, his family being hurt,

on a scale of 1-10, how angry would he be with someone hacking and stealing his identity: 99/10, youre dead sweaty (: (: (:

music: ABBA, upbeat, happy EDM. theme song is Overtime, by Cash Cash. spotify playlist here (still being updated)

#ocs #character sheets #eli #mi #iwrite #mercury independent #i told y'all these would be very loose #i still ended up writing way more than i meant to #whaaaaateeeeveeeerrr #i will do kawai soon #superpowerverse

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herestheteaig · 4 years ago

Text

What should I do??

Hi, I don’t really know if anyone will see this but I'm gonna try, just incase. If you do choose to respond, you can be as brutally honest & unbiased as you’d like, I’m not easily offended.

I am f19, and have been in a relationship with m18 for almost 6 years. For the sake of his privacy lets call him Joe.

lets call me Mina.

Backstory:

- Joe & I have been together since we were 13, we went to the same secondary school & college (for Americans, same middle school & high school)

- we had been close friends since we were like 11, very visibly super close friends in school.

- when we started dating at the end of our second year, we spent the entire summer together.

- when we got back he just... pretended I didn't exist????

- like tf?

- anyway, we were still hanging out outside of school, but my school separate the year based on grades in third year, so I was placed in X and he was placed in Y, therefore we had 0 classes together

- though, in the corridors, at lunch, at break, etc, he’d pretend I didn't exist???

- he also told me not to tell anyone we were dating???

- this lasted maybe 2 years? until I got really mad and he started acknowledging me in our final year of secondary school & people knew we were dating.

- his mum ended up convincing me to apply to the same college as him, we did different courses so rarely saw each other, but occasionally took the train together on one of our mutual starting times.

- now, I go to university about 2 hours away from our hometown and live there, he doesn’t go to university at all.

the catfish:

- of course the initial: “don’t tell anyone we’re dating”

- when I was still 13, I did something SUPER childish, though no regrets and made a fake iMessage account so he’d think someone was texting him.

- I used Loren Gray’s picture because this boy had NO social medias, he was SO anti it.

- anyway, pretended I had gotten his number on Facebook, and that I had seen him at athletics (he’s an athlete) and I thought he was attractive and asked if he had a girlfriend

- then we went through this long “no I don't” “jk I do” back and forth bullshit.

- oh he also didn't tell me about her until I said she had messaged me, but whatever idc but that's the first piece of info.

Sabrina:

- next, I must've been 15?? idk exactly how old I am

- I do not and have NEVER cared who my boyfriend talks to, girl, boy, non-binary, whatever, I don't give a shit.

- so I'm on his phone, taking snapchats to save to his memories and I kept seeing this girls name pop up.

- let’s call her Sabrina.

- I had noticed he talks to her a LOT, but he never had mentioned her, but eh its whatever... probably just one of his friends, right?

- I used to just message his friends on his phone so I went onto her chat intending to be like “heyyyy bro, nice to meet you my name is Mina, do you wanna be friends?”

- but I'm seeing messages talking about: “what age would you have sex?”

- side note: he and I both lost our virginities when we were 15, later this year but at this point we had both been “handsy” down there???

- anyway she says “18″, he says “you know its legal at 16 tho right?

- “yeah, but still 18″

- “why not 16″

- whatever I don't remember the entire convo.

- so I was like hmm this is a bit sus and scrolled up to see their messages.

- “do you have a girlfriend” “no” “actually yes” “im joking, no.”

- so im like wait what???

- anyway, I don't mention it for like 7 months? he denies it before saying what he said was innocent and he was just curious in a friendly way.

- I let it go.

Kendall:

- I was probably 16 or almost 17 at this point

- again, for privacy, we’ll call this girl Kendall.

- Kendall and I have a mutual friend, we’ll call her Tiana.

- Tiana and I were best friends.

- One day, Tiana messaged me and said hey, my friend Kendall was speaking to Joe & realised wait isn't that Mina’s boyfriend and sent me these screenshots as soon as she realised.

- I had probably seen her name in his recent chats but didn't care enough to ask about it.

- anyway, the screenshots were just him being super flirty with emojis? like sounds childish but you know what I mean.

- and he was joking about “go to bed its past your bed time” and she was like “no why are you chatting, you’re up too”

- then. THEN. THIS BOI HAS THE AUDACITY.

- “shush and listen to your daddy”

- wHAT.

- I immediately confront him and he denies knowing anyone of that name at first, before saying oh I didn't mean it like that, it was like a mum/ dad joke we have

- so again, I let it go

Adrien:

- back in school, my maths teacher sent myself and this boy to the study area which is an open space in the school, visible from all levels.

- lets call him Adrien.

- note: adrien and I were both quite smart and in top set for most classes, our surnames are next to eachother on the register so were often seated beside each other.

- we were very very close FRIENDS

- so we’re doing work, chatting a bit- whatever

- at some point, he jokingly pushes my head away, idk what I said, I do not remember.

- note: the entire school is IN CLASS.

- a few seconds later, I feel my phone vibrate, sneak it out of my pocket to see a text from Joe: “why is Adrien touching your face?”

- I look around and no ones there, anyway he still gets mad about it now.

Other stuff:

- he used to threaten to kill himself if i broke up with him

- or if we were arguing he’d say he can do this anymore, imply suicide, the leave his phone for ages and get super mad if I contacted his sister or mum to find out if he was safe.

- sometimes i’d see him joking around on his sisters snapchat story when I'm panicking because he said he’d kill himself.

- I'm not materialistic, but the fact that he rarely would get me bday/xmas presents was kinda upsetting. (he has a lot of money, my family is broke but I make the BIGGEST deal out of xmas and his bday and everything)

- would work extra hours so he’d feel so so spoiled on xmas and his bday.

- once he got me just a xmas themed toilet roll on Christmas, last year he gave me a small jar of vegan candies.

- I think he acknowledged valentines day twice in our relationship?

- which was sad because pre-relationship, valentines was my fave day of the year & I'd hand out heart shaped chocolates to everyone at school.

- often blames his mental health on me.

- will cut me off and then act like I'm the one not listening to HIS problems.

- if another guy has a crush on ME, then he gets mad at me?

- every boy in my college class admitted to having a crush on me at some point, awkward but my course was reliant on group projects so I couldn't just block them??? they all knew I had a bf

Extra:

- I have never orgasmed ONCE in my entire life... rip

- when I say he is ACTUALLY jealous, I mean like ACTUALLY jealous of me having a crush on like... cartoon characters?? (& also anime characters)

- has said sexist and transphobic things, that I DRAGGED him for.

- I think he's very manipulative and also immature.

- hates that I'm smart

- HATES that my love language is acts of service. like HATES it.

- there's more but I won't bore you.

mini story:

- we went to Paris for my 18th birthday.

- he tried to break up with me right before because “he feels like shit compared to other guys”

- I was crying down the phone (I never ever cry) begging him to reconsider

- we went to Paris, it was nice.

- note: we also had sex there

- and then we get back and he says: “I hated you the entire time” and other stuff but I don't remember

this is according to him:

- I think I'm right all the time and think im little miss perfect

- I put in no effort

- I do not listen

- I just need to realise that all my male friends are only my friends because they want to fuck me.

- I do not care about anything

- I assume things

- I compare him to other guys????

- I make him feel like shit

(his words, though I disagree)

- we have been in a relationship for almost 6 years

- he’s my friend

- I love his family so much, I've watched his nephew grow up and I text his sister and I just love them.

- though he isn’t my type on paper, I do find him attractive

- we have somewhat similar kinks

- my family seem to like him

- not gonna lie, we’d make cute babies.

- we both enjoy sports and also he sometimes plays video games with me (I'm an avid gamer, I twitch stream and play PC, PS4 & Switch, he sometimes will play fortnite or Mario kart with me)

- we have this cute cheerleader/ athlete thing which I like

- oh, right, pls don't judge this but its important to me to raise my children plant-based until they're old enough to decide for themselves- he isn't plant-based but is 100% onboard which is very important to me.

- has done cute things for me before like turn up at my house with my fave candy or buy an extra pack of gum/ drink for me.

- this sounds irrelevant, but I DO love to party/rave but I do not drink alcohol, I actually have a weird phobia of it, though I would 100% get high

- Joe and I both do not drink and although that's not something id look for in a s/o, it made me feel like I wasn't the only one lmao.

- my first & only relationship

ANWYAY, we’ve been arguing for months, if you see this what do you think I should do? would it be overreacting to break up? I would still wanna be his friend because I care but I dunno what to do

#advice #i need help #relationship #toxic #toxic relationship #please help #relationship advice #help #send help

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