#IVE REPOSTED THIS SO MANY TIMES IM SORRY

[pkaykim]

Oofurixmas2022 for @meela-31

[mikashisus]

from faults, favors, failures, and the truth (love alone isn't enough)

SYNOPSIS: no matter how hard he tried, venti could not keep himself from failing you over and over again.

PAIRING: venti x gn!reader

TAGLIST ! @wystiix @pixelcafe-network

warnings: blood, slight self harm

word count: 617

notes: hey guys... sorry in advance teehee. im incapable of writing anything except angst, im convinced LMAO. im also incapable of writing anything but angst for venti specifically, as well 😭 erm anyw this is mostly based off yaelokre's song "to douse a scalded tongue" that ive been brainrotting over ever since they first sung it on a livestream back in october. enjoy!!

Everything was a blur. The world was dark. His whole body felt numb.

In front of him, the world was bathed in a sea of gray and red. The air was still and thick with smoke, yet he could only stare straight ahead at the figure lying lifeless on the burnt grass. There was a terrible ringing in his ears, akin to that of a tolling bell looming ominously in the distance. 

He should’ve known. He should’ve been more aware. He should’ve kept a better eye on things. And yet, he hadn’t. And now, here he was, standing all alone amongst a sea of corpses, taking in the strong scent of iron. 

He felt like a bystander to it all. One moment, the world was alive and he was at peace. The next, his whole body had gone rigid as the sky split open and calamity reigned over the earth. And suddenly, the beast lingering underneath his skin had crawled out of the hole it called home; baring its fangs at anyone who dared to get close.

With a sharp intake of breath, he stepped forward. The rubble under his feet pierced his skin, but he couldn’t feel it over the numbness of his limbs. He got closer— every step a careful one, as if he was a wary dove waiting to fly away at any sign of nearby movement. 

His legs wobbled. He collapsed to his knees, the skin breaking open and starting to bleed. He reached out a shaky hand that lingered for a few moments too long in the air before coming to rest on your bare arm. He slowly leaned over to get a look at your face, lifeless and mauled. 

He flinched back, his hand covering his mouth as tears clouded his vision once more. The world went dark again as he pulled at his scalp, the aching in his chest building with each breath he took in. 

Breathing? How could he breathe when you could not? How could he sit here and feel, when you did not? 

How could he still be alive… when you were not. 

The frustration rose, as did his anger, as he let out a scream that had been gnawing at his throat for far too long. His fingers curled in, his nails digging so hard into his palms that he could feel the warm trickle of blood. 

He pounded his fists into the rubble— he’d do so as many times as he needed to in order to soothe the pain. In order to feel numb again. In order to forget. 

He’d sit and wail, scream, curse the heavens, douse his tongue into scalding tea, until all sense of failure left his being. He’d rip out his feathers and tear his already broken wings to shreds all just to stop the aching. 

Because in the end, he had failed you— in more ways than just one. He had raised his voice at you, cast you out of his land, all because of a misunderstanding. He was unable to save you when you needed him most— when you called out to him before your last breath. The wind had brought your pleas to his ears, but by the time he arrived, it had been too late. 

He failed you. This was all because of him. Tears cascaded down his cheeks. No amount of self-pity would fix the hurt in his heart, and no amount of tears would be able to bring you back to him. No amount of apology could fix what happened, and none of the measures he took to ensure your survival from them had worked.

And most importantly…

No amount of love had been enough.

© 2024 mikashisus. do not plagiarize, copy, repost, feed to ai, or translate my works to any other platforms.

[aimseytv]

HI I AM ASKING YOU THINGS:

how long have you been doing photography for? have you ever considered doing it for full time or is it kept as a hobby? do you have any extra photos you never posted that you would like to post?

SORRY FOR THE AMOUNT OF QUESTIONS BUT YE :3

HELLO! i have been doing photography since i had my first small little camera when i was around 9 years old, and i LOVED it. i'd waddle around the house taking photos of the most unnecessary things like my mams coffee and such and i LOVED it. i do it as a hobby for now, but i really want to do it eventually as a side job hopefully starting next year! thats why im trying to build up the instagram, as well as why i'm so adamant on credit when it comes to people reposting so that i'm able to gain that traction back to the account itself for future clients and such! i have so many extra photos ive never posted because im a huge perfectionist and if one photo detail isn't right, i scrap it, but one day i'll do a master post of all the "scrapped" pieces :D

[crazymuffin1]

venom the last dance spoilers (no im not reposting the same thing. yes i know you've seen like 6 posts like this im sorry)

when theyre flashbacking and you see the beach scene but ive seen it so many times that i know exactly what theyre saying. wait you said that you love me. umm.. you did. i know what that smile he has is from. i know what you are. why wont you tell him. why do i have to hear it in the driving app instead of the movie. why didnt they show a shorter version of the kiss.

[kvothbloodless]

As someone who’s followed you for a long time, and a fellow writer….do you genuinely support chatGPT? Even if it has been proven to scrape people’s writings without their consent? And the fact that its a soulless husk of what actual writing is?

So Ive done my best to avoid AI discourse, but I am bad at it. So to put it clearly.

I dont Support chatgpt specifically. Its a program made by a corporation because they can make a profit from it, and curtail its capabilities in line with their goals. I use it sometimes because its fun ans convenient, but I dont pay for it or anything. I think pretty much all legitimate concerns about AI are really just concerns about corporate ethics, at which point the AI specifically becomes irrelevant

I also dont really think the situation in general is one where "support" is the right word to use; its like asking if I support cameras.

I want to be clear im not trying to be vague though; i think in general AI is pretty cool, and that 99% of the arguments against it are factually incorrect, based on inconsistent or bad moral frameworks, or both. Im not going to get into all the reasons AIs are cool, since I dont feel up to doing a Big AI Post, but I do want to gesture vahuely in the direction of how much more accessible this makes artistic creation and experimentation, and all the insanely fun things people can use AI for. However, i do want to address the common arguments against it, especially since it feels like a lot of people are just misinformed and falling into the very easy tumblr trap.

1. Scraping fics without consent: if you post something on a public site for the public to read, and someone downloads it to read it, its not stealing. Tumblr is generally pretty firmly against strict copywrite laws, so its a bit weird that so many people are Very concerned about AIs "stealing" their work in a way thats even less direct than fanfiction. Like, "your writing is so in character" and "wow youre really good at imitating the authors writing style" are common compliments on fics.

To be clear, there are absolutely ways of interacting with free public content thats bad (like reposting). But AIs arent frankensteining stuff together, or copy pasting anything; they literally could not do that. The training/model files are so insanely tiny compared to the amount of training data that it would be impossible for them to be storing that sort of thing. An AI learning from your writing isnt really any different than a human reading your writing, going "oh I like that" subconsciously, and using that to inform their future writing.

Whats that quote about "to get better at writing, read more"? If you believe that statememt is accurate, then Im a bit confused how youd be upset about an AI "reading" your writing and learning from it?

All of the Actual ways this could be used badly (copying someones art style and then selling art cheaper, etc.) arent actually unique to AI (a person can also do that!), and also usually arent really a thing thats happening enough to be a problem (most people who want art from an artist enough to commission them, are going to want it to actually be done By that artist). Using AI to make an original work, or even to finish a fanfic someone else wrote, is no more theft than if you did it by yourself.

2. "Soulless Husk": im sorry im genuinely trying my best here to be gentle and respectful, but this talking point genuinely makes my blood boil a bit, so im not trying to get personal or insult anyone specifically. Claiming that art made by humans is automatically deeper, that art is all about Meaning and Struggle, comes off as extremely pretentious and just doesnt engage with the reality of art. Im having trouble articulating a good argument here, but like. Art doesnt have to be deep, it doesnt have to have a Message, and the necessity of struggling in order to learn about and create art is an unequivocable bad thing.

Many many people make art (visual, written, etc.) becuase they want to see or read something cool or because they think others will find it fun. Many many people who would like to create art do not do so because it requires talent/practice that they are not willing to put the time and effort into developing, and this is not a moral issue. As Ive said before, laziness is a virtue and self-indulgance is a goal we should aspire to. Using a tool to make the incredibly fun act of creating easier and more accessible is awesome.

Also, who gets to define what "actual art" is? Genuinely seems a bit arrogant and presumptuous to declare that something is or is not "actual art" based on your own preferences.

The posts that Really annoy me are the ones that are like "cant understand the people RPing or playing a TTRPG with AI becuz its soulless. I only ever RP with other people because the fun part is being social or collaberatively building story" or whatever. Cool. I rp and play tabletops because i like to have fun and I enjoy those activities. Im gonna be honest, i find it a bit offensive and kinda.. dumb, to act like its somehow morally superior to only enjoy oneself in a way that Builds Community or Has A Meaning. People do meaningless things because they enjoy doing them and so long as no one is being hurt, thats fine.

3. Replacing workers: This is the only argument that has Any weight, but its still a bad argument. Its absolutrly true that AI is gonna put people out of work. The fact that more people will be out of work and struggling is a bad thing. This is also what happens when literally any new technology is developed, dating all the way back to the industrial revolution (at the Very latest). Automation is almost always a massive net benefit to humanity (im aware this topic could be its own series of posts but You Know What I Mean, please dont start industrialization discourse here), and the fact that it puts people out of work isnt actually an argument against it. Lots of radio operators lost their job when telephones were invented, but that doesnt mean people should have never used the telephone and obstinately stuck with radios. When phone technology advanced, a lot of phone operators lost their jobs, but that doesnt mean people were Morally Wrong to use the new developments that made phones far more convenient.

As in all things, el problema es capitalismo; AI isnt preventing anyone from doing art, its just reducing how many people can get paid to do their art. The correct solution to automation putting people out of work is not to stop the wheel of tech development, but to change society so that one doesnt have to slave away in order to survive.

This also raises the adjacent point, which is that halting tech development like this is impossible. Once the cat is out of the bag, its not going back in. AI tech is going to develop and become more widespread and theres literally nothing you can do to stop that. If you want to be upset about that, its your perogative ig, but im gonna be excitedly waiting for the dam to break and we get an open source LLM that I can use without worrying about data privacy or corporate filters, so I can have fun and RP however much I want and finally be able to write the stuff I want to write but cant do on my own because I have adhd and chronic fatigue, and Id kinda prefer if people stopped trying to rain on my parade because they think im not having fun or creating art in the "right way".

EDIT: I did want to add one more thing! A US court ruled that you cant copywrite something created completely by an AI, and i think thats an awesome move and I hope it gets expanded a bit and spreads elsewhere. This isnt a position based on whether something produced in this way counts as "real art" or is morally bad or whatever, I just think that reducing corporate and IP grasp on anything is good, and that AI specifically is going to be most enjoyable when its free and open source.

[plantamagicae]

「 GET TO KNOW YOUR RP PARTNER! 」 ( repost, please don’t reblog )

「BASICS」

▐ NAME: cake ▐ PRONOUNS: she/her ▐ SEXUALITY: pansexual and demi ▐ TAKEN OR SINGLE: single ▐ FIVE FACTS:

i'm currently in radiology school, set to graduate on june 20th! one month!!

my favorite breed of dog is a cocker spaniel

i draw in my spare time!! not well, but i try!

uhhhhhhhhhhh....

sorry i only have 3 super special fun facts

「EXPERIENCE」

▐ HOW LONG (YEARS/MONTHS): oh man... like 15-20 years?? haha yikes ▐ PLATFORMS USED: furcadia, twitter, tumblr, discord, skype ▐ BEST EXPERIENCE: honestly i would just say the friends i made... i made so many new friends and i really just... treasure all my friendships so much. without you guys i don't know where i'd be -- both old and new.

「MUSE PREFERENCES」

▐ MALE/FEMALE/OTHER: i really only do female muses... boys are gross ▐ FAVORITE FACECLAIM: uhhhhhhhhhhh,,,,, ive never really had a faceclaim. maybe anne hathaway or natalie portman? mAN IDK ▐ FLUFF, ANGST, OR SMUT: ya girl loves her fluff ▐ PLOTS OR MEMES: im an avid plotter,,, i crave the plots. memes are fun too tho i like everything ▐ LONG OR SHORT REPLIES: i really only do long replies when im like... in the MOOD for roleplay which is kinda rare oopsie. otherwise, i feel that theyre pretty average size. ▐ BEST TIME TO WRITE: usually later in the day after clinicals when im comfy on my couch ▐ ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSES: well, im a plant mom like willow, a crackhead like star, friendly and compassionate like rapunzel... idk what else. im just friendly... and annoying :^)

[taeiun]

TAEIUN UPDATE (05/07/24)

hello everyone!! im not sure how many of you still keep up with this blog and i am so sorry for being inactive for so long (a full month sheesh…) and for not posting anything for longer than that! i have a couple updates, some good some bad, and a few changes i want to make to this blog.

TL;DR: canceling the beomgyu smau + possible future redo, temporary archive of this blog, future works planned.

O1. from the lack of of updates and the low interactions ive gotten, i think you guys can already guess that the beomgyu smau i posted back in march was going to be terminated at some point. it’s not that ive lost full interest in the plot. im just unhappy woth the setup and also dont have things flushed out to where i think an smau would work as a format. i do hope to publish it again some time in the future but for now, that post will be taken down.

O2. again, based off my inactivity i dont think it’s much of a surprise for me to say im going to be temporarily archiving this blog. that doesnt mean im never coming back! its just that right now i dont know how long it’ll be before i get back into a consistent writing schedule again. think of it just as an extended hiatus; the main difference is that im calling it an archive in case i dont come back at all. ofc ill announce if im going for good but this is just in case.

O3. i dont think i’ll be gone for good (knock on wood) so while i stay kind of inactive, there a few things im changing up here.

declutterring: going to be deleting spam posts and tidying up my blog to make the viewing experience more pleasurable!! i have a second blog where i ramble and shit post so i dont need this one for it.

reposts of old works: i dont have the time as of now to be working on brand new shiny content, so i hope people dont mind me possibly reposting a couple of my fave older stuff from my previous blog.

O4. i am crafting new things! they just wont be out for a while. a few things on my mind are:

zb1 apocalypse au: i have standalone fics for all the members and i hope to get this done at least before calling it quits. taerae my boy…

a couple different possible supernatural!skz smau mini series: little bit on the fence with these ones bc im not fully into skz (despite saying i write for them lol) so im not sure how much passion i can put into this project. if not the mini series, then i’ll be working on a minho fic within that au instead!

i think that about sums up where this blog is going. in general ive been good. busy with school and idea of uni but good-ish. ive been enjoying life for itself and got closer with one of my irls which has been so nice :DD im also facing a bit of a writer’s slump bc of the mental switch from a heavy math and science academics semester to an only analytical and writing semester. honestly, i really do want to keep this blog around. its just hard when my interest in kpop as a whole has dwindled down so fast? like its crazy how quickly i kind of got over this phase ngl- but yeah! thats it for me <33

thanks for sticking to the end of this if you did! no hard feelings if you didnt. its funny i say that bc they wouldnt be able to see this if they didnt but oh well. that’s all from me for today!!

— ur fave, sol / jun.

[burnyouwithacigarettelighter]

Omg I’m so happy you replied!! I definitely have more questions.

1. What Cillian character do you like writing about the most and why?

2. What story from your master list are you most proud of?

3. Do you personally have any fic recommendations/ must reads? Other sites included.

4. What gets you inspired to write? Following that question have you ever abandoned a fic?

5. What do you think made you a better writer? If you have any doubts about your work, how do you get past it enough to continue?

6. Is there a Cillian character that you just don’t like, or aren’t interested in watching/ writing about? (Sorry if that’s a loaded question)

omg thank u so much for this!!! i srsly love interacting w u guys, tysm for the thought provoking questions😄🙌

i think i like writing most about robert fischer:) ik it probably doesnt translate considering ive written most for jonathan crane but robert fischer is just such a little sweetheart to me,,, and can go both ways in being a sassy dom douchebag or being a sobbing daddy issues sub darling LOLLL i just think he has a lot of duality to delve into and develop (which ive definitely not done so far☠️) and it helps that his characterization in inception was also very surface level— i have a lot of wiggle room y’know??

i think im most proud of “dine & dash” which im aware probably no-one has read, but getting chris o’doyle’s sassy little dialogue down was like taming a wild beast,,, otherwise, considering my more well-known work, i rly liked writing “honey, i’m home”. i go crazy for the unhinged readers (if u couldnt alrdy tell lmaooo) and seeing jackson get messed with like that was a real treat.

i seriously just recommend anything by @mypoisonedvine,,, they’re literally genius & are the reason i started writing for cillian:)!! other mentions include kitten fics by @pictureinme and, a personal fave, @floralcyanidee’s jackson rippner mile-high club fic!!! these writers are all incredibly talented and im just blown away at their work every single time🫶

my thirst is such a big motivator for writing LMAO😭i wrote “guinea pig” ‘cus i wanted to absolute wreckkk jonathan crane and have him be a sub, and i got a 6.8k words long fic out of said thirst! music & book quotes motivate me a lot too— i spend sm time digging thru my pinterest for a good quote for the beginning of my fic its actually insane☠️and yes,,, im ashamed to say ive abandoned fics numerous times,,, but thats because they were series’, not oneshots. i get bored of series’ pretty quickly, ‘cause i feel kind of trapped by the initial dynamic or mood set in the first chapter. with oneshots, its like writing one long chapter of this trope and this kink or whatever and then its done, and i dont have to exhaust myself going back to tropes or kinks or storylines ive already done.

i think reading made me a better writer. expanding my vocabulary through the words of others was a biggie; seeing something be described in a certain way in someones story had me thinking of out-of-the-box ways to describe another thing (that doesn’t make much sense but lets pretend it does😭). i have many, many doubts about my work, like constantly, but i usually just suck it up. i sound like an attention whore but seeing the reposts & comments & tags on my other work reminds me people like what i’ve written before and certain people will enjoy what ive written now, so i should just finish my work for them. i also take like 100 years rereading my stuff until i think its good enough lmao,,,

ive kinda watched his whole roster of films (atleast ones i could actually find on the internet and not gone missing as a lost piece of media lmao) and i could probably write for any cillian character given i had a good idea and proper motivation. writing for certain characters is definitely harder for me to do though, so its likely i wont write for them/will take a long time to do so. an example is lenny miller— anna was such an insufferable movie to me, and lenny’s screentime wasn’t long at all, atleast not long enough for me to properly grasp his character. he just felt like a horny hardass fbi goof the whole time i could not take his 5’7 ass seriously😭cillian is smexy as hell in anna tho, so we’ll see😈another would probably be robert capa from sunshine,,, hes beautiful and deliciously musty in that but the whole spaceship setting kinda freaks me out (considering i know 0 zilch nada about space, spaceships, or anything of the sort, so it’d definitely be inaccurate). an au with him id definitely do, though! (with that hair of his my mind is already forming a 90s band au, guitarist!capa x singer!reader story…)

again thank u so much for these questions!! i feel like i rarely get to chat to u guys so this was well appreciated😄🫶thank you so much for reading, for sending these questions in, and for being an overall sweetheart, anon!

[scarfacemarston]

hi sorry if this is a bother - i just got into rdr2 like 5 years too late and have been trying to wrap my head around the timeline.

its mentioned that john left the gang for a year but not /when/ he left.

ive done a little searching and a lot of people seem to be saying he left after jack turned 1, but the only source i've found is from the fanwiki which only links to a statement:

"John's running away was mentioned to be at "around the time Jack (who was born in 1895) was 1 year old."

which is not helpful since the wiki makes a lot of claims without any backing. but it seems this is in reference to charles & arthur's convo when searching for the german man on the way to clemens point which im almost certain is meant to be "john left /for/ a year sometime after jack was born" not "john left /a/ year after jack was born" which is how the wiki interprets it.

obvs john left /after/ jack was born bc pearson's picture has him & infant jack together in 1895, but i dont think it was necessarily confirmed to be in 1896/when jack turned 1.

sorry this got long, but i was wondering if you have any thoughts on this? xx

Anons are NEVER a bother as long as they're chill. That's a very good question and I never really thought of it that way. That's cool of you to point that out. I went to look at the official guide book and it didn't say it. The official website that was up in 2018 might have said it. MIGHT. I'd have to look on the WayBackMachine. Some parts of the audio files make me think that maybe John had JUST come back in the past few months, but I don't think that's the case, either. They're kind of tricky and the timeline has been wrong for so many things including Mary, Eliza, and later Abigail's life were all potentially wrong. I had always thought it was when Jack was a year old as well. It could be one of those rumors/facts that everyone thought was correct and it became spread around. It happened with Tilly's age. Many, including me, thought Tilly was 16 for the longest time, but it wasn't true. It was just repeated in the fandom for so long, everyone took it as fact until someone pointed out that we were wrong. This could be the case here, but I admit, I have always truly believed it was a year after Jack's birth. I can look at my audio files, but some of those have gone missing. (I'm stuck reposting like....1/3 of them) The Abigail, Jack, or John audio tags have all my audio files, you're welcome to look there. I'll keep an eye out. TLDR - I have no good answer. I'm sorry. :/

[songwr1terr]

im reposting (most)of the things i said on my twt on behalf of all the stuff going on w tgc

if u have a hard time respecting other ppl and their boundaries, no matter whoever it is, block me IMMEDIATELY and go get some professional help. i want nothing to do w ur nasty, disgusting, and disrespectful ass. go outside, make some actual friends, and get a life PLEASE. thinking abt the fact that some ppl on this planet are so mentally fucked up to the point where they literally leave a fandom cuz someone addressed their boundaries is actually so insane and unbelievable to me. pls go and get help if u cant have enough decency to respect anyone as a person. what the fuck. if someone has to involve the fbi because u are a weirdo online who sexualizes ppl then again, as ive said many times before, do everyone a favor and delete every account and social app you own. take a shower, go outside, touch some grass, and most importantly: get a life.

(im sorry this is so much, ily guys and please stay safe + dont be weird and creepy)

[crowhyun]

Hi crow!! Just wanted to check up on you! How's everything? Are you feeling ok? Any big changes in life you'd like to share? I hope you're doing great. Srsly. I rly do

Its been awhile since ive been on tumblr and when i say awhile i mean its been like mayb 2 years 💀. I still rmb when i first started reading ffs on tumblr, u were one of the first few i read and really really liked. I remember going through so many of your works after reading my first from you. Throughout the period of time when i was active on tumblr i wld always check to see if you posted anyt new and just reread ur works over and over again. I genuinely loved them so much!

The last time i was properly on tumblr, i found out u deactivated ur old acc and had recently opened this current acc. Which was crazy long ago, and that is precisely how long i havent been on tumblr. Ofc me getting busy w school was one of the main reasons i became inactive, but u also being inactive/ getting ur writers block also played a part. Pls pls plsss dont take this the wrong way, i just wanted u to know that i really do enjoy your work!

If im not mistaken, i came back on tumblr bc i was looking to reread one of ur taehyun ffs but i couldnt find ur old acc and i was panicking like crazy. Thankfully i found your new acc n found the ff i was looking for shortly after. Im telling u the sense of relief i felt when i found ur acc, crazy. U are literally the only acc i rmb now, genuinely.

Yk one of the ffs i was really looking forward to was wired hearts (i think u refer it as AI taehyun?) It really caught my eye and peaked my interest when i saw the teaser and was crazyly looking forward to it. I even sent in an ask just to find out if u were planning on continuing it if u could repost the teaser. I was a little sad when u said u didnt really know where it was going n wasnt sure how to go about it and that u probably werent gonna post it. I was looking through ur asks and saw a few ppl asking about ai taehyun (cmiiw but i am talking abt the same thing right?) and u said u were working on it(?). I was rly happy to see that and again am looking forward to it if u decide to work on it! Again dont take this the wrong way, and dont feel pressured or anyt! (Cough cough would still love to see the teaser again at some point :''), pls dont feel pressured abt it tho)

Anyways, i came on tumblr tdy rly j by chance and the first post i see is one from u!! I was rly happy to see ur user first thing whn i opened tumblr i checked ur profile to see what youve been up to and found out youve also been inactive for a pretty long time. So i j wanted to check on u while u were here! It seems like many things hv changed in ur life, like u arent a flight attendant anym??? my memory is still stuck at that point of time 😵‍💫😵‍💫

Again i hope you're doing well. Dont be too hard on yourself and always remember there are always ppl supporting thing even behind the anon user! Lots and lots of love 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

(ps. Sorry for the super long msg😅, love u!)

(pps. Sorry if theres any typos or sentences that dont make sense, did read through what i wrote😅😅, again love u lots! 🩷🩷🩷)

Okay so, I woke up randomly at like 7 am and decided to check Tumblr bcs I'm a technology obsessed Gen z and omggggg 😭 this is gonna make me cry

Like why are we fated

I really do want to keep writing, and I've started up some works, so be prepared to have some put this week! I also really do what to continue with AI Taehyun bcs I've had a pretty good prompt in my head for a while and it's a bit angsty, but I love writing angst, it's just that one will probably be longer, so maybe around 7k-10k words I just gotta LOCK IN

And as for my life, I'm doing pretty good! I'm in school now, studying medica laboratory science alongside a pre-med track, so it's fine for my freshman year, but I do know that it's going to get quite rigorous soon enough so wish me luck hehe. I also miss yapping on here about drama in my life, and I wanna get back to that too lol

And do not worry about sending long messages, I LOVE to read them, and they make me so happy! You've really pushed me further into wanting to get back on here to post frequently, and I'm really going to set my sights on doing so. I miss Tumblr and I miss yall, so although I won't be posting everyday, I'll try my hardest to post at least once a week!

Also, Thanksgiving break is starting tomorrow, and then after that, it's presentations and exams, so I'll also be kinda busy with studying 😅 I'll Mae it work tho

[rock-dove-radio]

Hey so serious post :animal jam smile emoji: I've taken a lot of time to improve upon myself and Ive disproved a bunch of stuff etc etc but ya!! Im doing way better now since I left tumblr for a break. I've been going under a different name, for many reasons, and I would not like to be associated with this account anymore. Not because I'm ashamed of my posts etc etc but because I've changed so much in the past few months that I feel like holding on to this old identity would be destructive to my progression and recovery. I've returned to tumblr after an extensive period offline of most socials and I'm happy to be back, and will try to get posting again. If anyone has any inquiries about me or past discussions etc etc,

don't be afraid to ask. I am currently going by---

mrsoperator on tumblr (new acc)

mrs.operator on discord

mrsoperator_ on Pinterest

If you would like to contact me, I'll try my best to reply and I'd love to have a conversation. Sorry for being overly dramatic, coming back to this account feels like arriving at an archaeological dig site even if it's just been a few months. It's truly felt like years since I've been unplugged for the most part of my time off.

I've recently gained interests in writing and medical history and a bunch of other hobbies that have helped me improve and monitor my mental state.

Note: if you were part of my discord server and looking for answers, I had to shut it down due to the drama coming up and general distrust building around members due to the whole debacle. But anyways, I've happily moved on and became a much better person ever since and I'd be happy to talk and discuss anything. I'll be posting my art on my new accounts sometime soon <3

Ty losers

ALSO STOP REPOSTING MY SHIT ON PINTEREST IM TIRED OF SEEING IT.

[fleastinger]

Fucking christ, i think i need to move on. I keep clinging to the thought of you whenever a crisis happens. I miss talking to you even though its a fantasy at this point and not a risk id want to take. Or just looking at you, hearing from you, even though i dont want to risk the growth and happiness ive had for the last few months. Its maddening. Its evidence of how codependent i was on you, of obsessively looking at you the way you looked at me. I was constantly checking too, always knowing what you were doing and if you watched something or thought of me. I was always trying to meet you on it.

I started blue lock finally. After trying and failing to start the manga 3 times. I think ive watched probably 30 or 49 different once piece episodes, trying to think about who was your favorite and all the things you liked about one piece. I

I keep reading between too many lines just looking at your soundcloud. Its driving me crazy. I feel like you're doing it too. I never know if you repost songs intentionally, to reach me, as if you watch me change my icon every few weeks. You used to ask me to stay quiet whenever you'd play certain songs in the car, just vibing to them and hoping i would understand how you felt about things through them.

I've never been so hot potato with my soundcloud. I got too nosy. When i noticed you unblocked me on instagram, i unblocked you on soundcloud. I missed your message, and it's been hell ever since. And funny, since i was told starting antidepressants would stop me from fixtating on you.

Inever know whatever traces ive left of myself that you see or not. I really tried to wipe myself off of twitter.

Im sorry. I cant trade the amount i miss you with the peace and healing I've had in the months since. I think you're better off without me, that you would resent me for making you hope for me even though ive dated people between us getting together each time. I think i can't be with you until you fix your health and your life, something my therapist calls us codependent trauma on each other.

I havent dreamed of you in a while. But whenever life gets tough, whenever shit gets too real, i think about the feeling of holding you. The way your hair felt under my fingers, how I'd try to be gentle, knowing how sensitive your scalp was. How it felt to cry into you, hearing you tell me how much you loved me and wanted whats best for me. I miss how you loved, even as i learn to love another. I wish i wasn't so controlling and mean, and you weren't someone i was scared of, someone i wanted badly to be doing better only to see relaspe and break my trust .

You never let me into your drug addiction. If you hid that, you could hide anything from me and i would still love you for it, which made me mad.

So when i think of your sweet lips, and the happiness you made me feel, i remind myself of the day you took those muscle relaxers. How i cried and begged for you to get help. How i kept changing what i wanted because i started to believe less and less on if things could work out. How i left, just to go home, cry , and spend a week in bed mad over you.

When i think of the future we couldve had, with our beautiful babies with curly hair and long lashes, maybe freckles and definitely brown hair, I remind myself of the past we did have. Of you feeling like i abandoned you, and always thinking i would leave.

So im sorry. I hope you moved on from me. I hope you liked that song because you met someone that made you listen to mariya takeuchi instead of my birth month being in september. I hope your emojis on your profile page is for someone else, not me. And i hope you forgot my twitter name being fleastinger, that you never find this page of my sorry ass trying to get over you.

[neoclb]

ᯓ★ GGEZ . . .

pairing. katsuki bakugo x f!reader

synopsis. as the top valorant pro player, of course katsuki bakugo is going to have an ego. after many scrims and stressful matches, his team finally makes it to champions… against his rival team in all of japan. the tension of him and the top player of the other team thicken, but what happens when she falls for the guy with the ego as big as his popularity?

content. sm!au, pro gamer!au, quirkless!au, vctjp!au, fem!reader, fluff, swearing, rivals to lovers, ooc probably TT, a lil niche sorry guys, bakugo is a lil mean at the beginning, sabotage [hacking], dont look at the times and dates theyre all inaccurate LMAO — will be updating as i go oops

status. ongoing — (05.07.24 - )┊taglist. [16/50] open :3 send an ask or comment 2 be added!

PROFILES

paper rex | sentinels

CHAPTERS

i. kill yourself dunce

ii. safety hazard

iii. bluescreened

iv. mad shes good

v.

vi.

vii.

viii.

ix.

x.

notes. this fic idea came to me after playing valorant bc im A LOSER 🤦‍♀️ but anyway prx and sen r not my teams obviously (i love u sen zekken) THIS IS ALSO my first smau ever so please dont be afraid to send any critique ^_^ this also means that updates may be slow as i am not that experienced to text fics 😢 thank u for reading! also updates will be very inconsistent!!!

no reposting without permission © neoclb 2024

[narwhalandchill]

Tag game: Current

got tagged by @begaydoalchemy !! thank u !!

- Current time: 9:45 (AM for you US peeps smh)

- Current activity: finished up prefarming blades traces to 6/8/8/8. double calyx drops events is a godsend. was listening to a video essay on the bg but the favorite song section made me go listen to stiny on repeat again bc i love inflicting emotional damage on myself so i guess thats what.

- Currently thinking about: so theres this person in the hsr leaks subreddit megathread doing daily renheng insanity ponderings since blades trailer dropped and ive been just losing my mind ever since reading them. anyway i wanted everyone here to get to see them too but didnt wanna repost em bc its just kinda ehhhh to do so. here u go!! suffer with me!!! click the links theres all 3!!! (spoilery warning tho. idr how many leaks refs there are in there exactly but expect some at least)

- Current favorite song: spotify most listened to top5 currently looking like NEON by raon, kissaki by reol, wildfire, cha cha cha (we will never forgive xx swedes watch out) and stiny from KALUSH & jerry heil.

but like let me be clear the only reason reol isnt number 1 is bc the full version of the song only came out like 2 weeks ago and the earlier released shorter anime ver of kissaki is literally 7th on the list.

- Currently reading: ...i mean mostly just renheng fanfic but uhhh. i did read where the crawdads sing from delia owens (just plucked it out from the bookshelf randomly bc i was bored) a month or so back. it was neat but no like particular strong feelings abt it. it was very well written and i liked the flow of the prose a lot. also waiting for crooked kingdom to get a finnish translation bc i got six of crows in finnish and i dont do book series as mixed language sets generally. (also the translation work itself was just like an absolute fucking banger with the imagery and metaphors used like chef kiss)

- Currently watching: no particular show (last thing was when i rewatched fmab a couple months ago) going on but like. random video essays or informative stuff on yt honestly and its mostly for bg noise.

- Current favorite character: gee i wonder. dan heng (past editions included), blade, (big gap here bc i tunnel vision on characters), bailu, luocha, jing yuan i think for specific ones from hsr for now. am looking out for jingliu and fu xuan too i need to study them. in genshin its like. yeah its mr childe ajax tartaglia all the way but i kinda just havent been feeling it for the game much so eh. tighnari, kazuha up there too n arlecchino obvi.

- Current WIPS: what kind of productive person do you take me for??? ig i like. opened word this week to type out some random passage drafts for a ficlet type thing relating to the post i made a while back abt belobogs temperatures wrt dan hengs potential terrible, horrible, no good, very bad scalie time with it but do Not expect any results from that or anything i s2g. ive finished one fic in my life and that was half poetry half madness full one sitting and be done with it type deal

im sorry i have no idea who to tag so like. anyone who wants to do it feel free, mutuals or followers!!! :]

[vampziry]

gagged HER SO BAD FOR REAL QUEEN U DROPPED THIS 👑

also mm kinda funny how theres a need to end up being a “void coach” when we all are the void already?? the void is within us, makes it so ridiculous. a lot of bloggers address topics that the “coaching session” would address as well, and for free.

literally thank u for tagging me, i kinda need to talk about my post here. pink, on the other hand provides handful of information about the void, meditation techniques, lucid dreaming and alternatives that can work for some people and alternatives that can work for other people.

i literally never follow people back unless they are a blog similar to mine or i truly believe them. being in this community opened my eyes so much, especially when i used to be friends with unique and she turned out to be a horrible person. i feel sorry too for the people who fall apart everyday doubting themselves. idk how many people can see this post due to its constant reposts, but if you do and you’ve never seen my blog before, i promise you won’t regret. u can read my most seen posts and reblogs and also scroll through my anon asks!! i get a lot of questions everyday and ive entered the void like a total of 5 times with a different intention each time, feel free to dm me too, be careful with your money. you can find such information here for free and people who are willing to help, im interested in helping with areas such as mentality rebuild, affirmations and meditation tips as someone who has been practicing mindfulness for years.

i just wanted to bring something to your attention bc you're the only blog that i think people acc trust

i think u know @trynafindbarbiee

sorry if this doesn't link but she blocked me so lol

basically she used to be a good void blogger but you can go look at her page yourself and now it's all just an ad for some random Instagram manifesting coaching account that she claims isn't hers (apparently it's someone who helped her manifest before she entered the void state but she never mentioned this before) but for some reason, keeps on advertising for and lowk gaslighting people into joining bc she says stuff like "do you not want your dream life? why don't you just pay already?"

her exact quote: “She’s open for coaching guys What are fucking waiting for? Don't u want your dream life? Are u not tired? Are u not fed up with all this? ARE YOU NOT?”

This is so disgusting to me to gaslight desperate people like this

Also, I was there when she first posted about that account. She said the insta account only charges $11.99 and then she changed it to $23.98.

Also all the success stories seem so fake. I'm not one to doubt success stories but the first few all seem like they're the same Indian girl and then the last 2 sound like random fictional novels. The second to last is a woman who was hospitalized and over 400 people visited her, like even presidents or celebrities don't get that many people and apparently she had money problems but none of the 400 people could give her any money or like the most recent one. the reason i even decided to call her out was because she made up a ridiculous story of a woman who got pregnant because she was taking antidepressants. i am majoring in healthcare and am very passionate abt this topic because some uneducated people believe this "that antidepressants can cancel out birth control" so they use that as a reason to not take them even though this is completely false and there is no evidence of antidepressants cancelling out birth control❗️

i am pretty sure trynafindbarbie is spiritual soya, it doesn't rlly make sense why she would be advertising her like this and ive noticed certain things like them both saying "peoples"but yeah i hope you can atleast just share this with your followers so they don't get scammed

i looked into this and you're absolutely right, it's a bit disappointing and i just get upset when i see people trying to gaslight and scam this community because the majority of this community are just young girls trying to get their dream life. i hope you guys know that you are so powerful and you can get your dream life on your own!