#ITS NOT ABT THE HAIR. is what im trying to get at.
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fagofgod · 1 year ago
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ik that people miss ambrosius' graphic novel design or whatever and its like whatever but uhhhhhhhh. um. uh.
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nyatbinary-81 · 7 months ago
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@vulpixisananimal sifstem art jumpscare!! more specifically i got bored and decided to mess around with sif and mal's outfits.
#my art#this is how I think theyd present themselves either in person or in headspace. the slouchers <3#sifs outfit is simple; the boots i always give them (but with star laces for funsies); loose sweater; simple pants#the pants are Meant to be jeans but isat doesnt Specifically Have Jeans so. theyre just Pants.#the sweater is slightly looser bc sif doesnt seem like a Form Fitting Clothes kinda guy to me but hes Trying to be more open#on particularly good days theyll roll the sleeves up or wear a sleeveless one methinks#even if everyone Knows abt the self-harm scars its hard to Look at them.#i also associate them being more open with them not wearing an eyepatch. esp bc hes the only one of the three to go without it#for mal (or 'ami' as i like to call it) i wanted smth reminiscent of a mourning outfit bc mal du pays means homesickness#and i picked 'ami' as a nickname bc ami means friend :] at least according to my basic translator. i dont speak french <3#ami's outfit being dark is also reminiscent of the inversion thing its got going on in canon.#ik the veil is starred in the original but i think ami would want the fewest reminders of home. on account of The Issues#(actually if i can come back to sifs laces sif also has issues with reminders of it bc of the memory loss but the shoelaces are His Choice—#—which gives them a form of control over it and they can keep it subtle or undo it if he wants. which makes it easier)#anyway. i put amis hair in an updo and smoothed the hat bc i think ami wants to be Unremarkable. Unknown. so it keeps its silhouette Simple#(it still keeps the pins. theres smth comforting abt them. they shine like stars and theyre not stars and theyre not Home. but theyre You.)#and i kept the long hair i gave loop. dont ask me why its so long when the canon hair is short. maybe their hair kept growing over the loop#OH and i drew ami in a side profile bc Silhouette and also bc i think itd make an effort to keep people away from its blind spot#andddd i think thats about it? plus i actually managed to keep this one within a reasonable timeframe.#if their hair changes lengths/the proportions change between drawings. no they dont 💛 peace and love and body craft#OH AND YOU FINALLY GET TO SEE WHAT I MEAN ABT SIFS BOOTS BC THESE ARE THE BOOTS I GAVE THEM ON MY REGULAR DESIGN ARENT THEY NEAT#i did actually try to give sif a different font but nothing Works for them like the pixel font. i cant explain it.#i think 'ami' would be a nickname that mira gives it. bc. shes Fantasy French. and its a sort of 'youre more than your yearning/loss' thing#me every time i think abt sifstem: yeah they just rotate in my head. nothing major#me every time i talk abt sifstem: oh hey im almost at tag limit again#au Good what can i say
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patron-saint-of-emesis · 5 months ago
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todays concepts to grapple with are “accept Done over Perfect” and also “change is an inevitable constant”, both are very good sentiments that will better my life when i accept them, but it also means not restarting my crochet project and to stop staring at my face so hard in the mirror, and ima be real both of those r suck
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theladyfae · 1 year ago
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nothing to me will ever be more iconic than my beloved mutual managing to get me so invested in a (rarepair) ship for a media i had no previous interaction with that i was actively making my own headcanons abt their potential relationship dynamic and making song associations and engaging in others’ brainrot for months before i ever even considered getting in to said media. and now a year later i’m finally writing fic for them but still know next to nothing abt what they’re like in canon cause i still haven’t made it to that part of the story, the memories of the shared delusion are genuinely the only thing keeping me going.
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year ago
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#listen. sometimes. when i get emails pertaining to a specific project i worked on that nearly broke my brain. i just stop what im doing#and start playing Losing My Religion by REM. and i wish the person emailing me could see me face down at a table listening to thay song#mostly its fine. its just when someones trying to manage the data files so i kno im gonna have to go back thru and update my code#for a bunch of tiny stuff and its like: does this sound ok? and i just dont care so much that i want to start screaming#and then at the end of the day i hike up a fucking mountain going over what im gonna tell a therapist when my insurance switches#and im gonna say it in a way thats v calm and agreeable but i want to scream and tear my hair out. or maybe i wont b agreeable. i wasnt#last time i was in a therapist office but that guy deserved it and i wasn't being that bad#ugh. im just mad bc working on my stuff makes me so miserable that when i stop its like wow im no longer in agony. cool#coool. fun times. becoming increasingly apprehensive abt how im gonna try to b more healthy abt working while taking on triple#the responsibility with a phd project and being a student and being a TA. i mean. ill try but its gonna b fucking interesting#ugh. had to bust out the burnout playlist. which like. when u try to look at other ppls burnout playlists they all suck#theyre all like former gifted kid burnout Playlists and im like fuckkk offfff. why do u not have the incredibly specific vibes that im#looking for? i just demand the perfect burnout playlist and somehow nobody puts No Surprises on there#like what??? y not? its a song abt being so totally saturated that youve had enough. a heart thats full up like a landfill. a job that#slowly kills u. bruises that wont heal. how is it not THE burnout song? but whatever. i listen to too much radi0head.#ugh. but now my burnout playlist is becoming too much like my My Brain Doesnt Feel Too Good playlist#listen. i just need to curate playlist so that they can express the feelings for me#unrelated
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tkbrokkoli · 11 months ago
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just had the worst hair cut experience :(
#not fandom related#personal log stardate#was rly dysphoric abt my hair so i booked an appointment online where you can basically get your hair cut immediately#booked a men's haircut. tried to be as masculine as possible when i went there. i did Not pass as a guy. they thought i was a woman#the whole time. when i wanted to pay the hairdresser was like 'you booked an appointment for a men's cut but you're a woman right?'#she asked that bc for woman the haircuts are more expensive and for men they're cheaper. like.#for a women's haircut you have to pay 20 € more lol. anyway i felt... not much tbh. i looked her in the eye and shook my head#to indicate no im not a woman and she rang me up for a men's cut#i don't feel all that much rn either it's just. looks like i don't pass. there's not much i can do.#i cant dress any more masculine my hair is short i use mens shampoo and deodorant#its probably my high voice. also im small. it might just be my ~vibe~ im a shy kinda person idk#guess i just have to wait for T to work its magic. so far nothing has rly happened#i actually had a cold and not a voice drop but i think ever since i /can/ speak a tiny bit deeper if i try#idk if my levels are good. my next appointment is in april so i just gotta be patient and wait#what's actually most bothersome abt today is that i couldn't play it cool. if this had happened to a cis guy and he would've been asked if#he's a woman he would've laughed it off or been offended and it would've been ridiculous to him. for me it was the worst come true and it#made me extremely insecure and i feel if i had just the confidence that a cis guy has it wouldn't have made me that uncomfortable and i#could've just brushed it off#anyway i gotta focus on my exams now anyway so ill just try to brush this experience off#the hairdresser wasnt even transphobic when i shook my head no im not a woman her eyes were sort of soft but calculating like she accepted#me i think but just the fact that it happened that i do Not pass that i Do have to out myself and can't just be myself w/o being questioned#hurts#also to my mutuals ive read your comments and messages i just havent had the energy to answer yet. i love you guys <3
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nopefer-art-tu · 2 years ago
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Look, I love Brokeback Mountain (2005) so much and I'm so glad that I get to exist in the universe where Ang Lee directed this movie with these specific actors and this specific version of the script, however part of me really wonders what Brokeback would have looked like if it had been directed by some of the other filmmakers who were in the line up for the project, using earlier versions of the script 🤔
Like imaginewhat Brokeback would've looked like with noted gay indie movie darling Gus Van Sant at the helm?? Or Pedro Almodóvar??? And then with other versions of the script floating around online, as well as deleted scenes and whatnot, I can't help but wonder abt what it would've been if other directors had gotten their hands on it first
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t4tpumpkinduo · 1 year ago
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man.
#i had this whole post ive been trying to formulate for so so long. abt my issues w ceewilbur and ccwilburisms and#to clarify i do like cwilb he is one of my faves. ik it may seem i wanna bite his arm off smtimes and i Do but#its mostly bitterness directed to the stuff Around him if that makes sense. yk the response to lots abt him#the way the overcompensation abt how he can be villanized swinging into a state where he Cant and never Did and wrong and if you critique#or acknowledge it you get snipped at and demeaned and treated like its a targeted hit on the mentally ill when its like#a mild disagreement with one of the most popular characters in the fanbase Easily#and w cc wil i do think he is just sm guy. im sure he's a nice dude idrc abt the ccs usually but he seems alright enough even tho he has v#goofy ahh takes and opinions but that doesnt make you Evil#but when i dive into what really has made me feel so alienated and snippy its. llmao its the racism yeah lol its super very much the racism#its very very prevelent and very common and very unchallenged. and it like. upsets me so bad its why i keep bailing on making my actual#full detailed post abt it. cuz everytime i try to formulate my thoughts i just get upset and frustrated i wanna rip my hair out#its hard not to feel like im talking to a wall when its so common and unchecked and. ive seen rightful critiques of these spaces and how#ppl interact with them Openly Mocked and brushed aside and treated like 'petty sensative internet drama' that ppl need to 'just get over'#sorry man im a fucking 🇲🇽 i cant exactly log off and Stop Experiencing Racism. and sorry that me feeling alienated and tired and sad abt#it is an inconvenience for you llol#and like idk. im not upset w anyone in particular this isnt a call out post or vague who give a shit and.#eh maybe im stupid but i really really believe a lot of ppl arent doing it on purpose#its just bein parroted ik i get it but#am i rlly not allowed to be tired? why should it feel like my responsibility to hold ppls hand and go hey mb treat poc and darker skinned#ppl like ppl. maybe you should examine why you need so many things made palatable to you through conventionally attractive whiteness first#idk. idk!!! am i crazy who fucking knows#but it has been weighing on me stupid style so bad#the shrinking fanbase and primarily yk common stragglers has just. rlly felt like a magnifying glass to my already existing issues abt it#idk man. idk im tired and im at work its 100°+ and my head hurts so this is all yr getting. lea me alone#and again this isnt a vague who Cares. just wanted to get it off my chest finally#huri.txt#discourse#<- ig
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cescalr · 1 year ago
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Listening to kill all your friends mcr song while editing a weird little limited life ficlet I'll probably never post because, as always, absolutely none of my mcrp ideas play nice with accepted fanon (Except for like 1 or 2 ultimately very superficial things like the colour of grian's wings) and also I hate the fact the tags are conflated with rpf..... because the power went out on our street due to a wholeass thunderstorm. Lightning struck and we heard the crack immediately. No delay. Oh boy. Really great sound but you know kind of awkward to be that close to death beam from sky yk. Also. Power outtage. For the whole area. Not great!
Anyway point being I was writing that ficlet with Devil Doesn't Bargain in mind but accidentally made it very Kill All Your Friends coded. So that's nice. I might post it. Idk.
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phagodyke · 2 years ago
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listening to my flatmate while she talks abt hair removal mentally repeating to myself that its not my business what ppl decide to do with their body hair so I need to keep neutral abt the fact that she said it wouldnt get rid of lighter fluffier hair instead of jumping around the kitchen in joy + relief anyway I love body hair
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liquidstar · 2 years ago
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oh anyway now that i finished the oc poll i totally gotta finish up drawing them in some different outfits bc it will be epic. im working on their autumn/winter designs rn i have 4/5 done BUT i wanna do a bunch of different stuff so it may take me longer than i think lol
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uwooyoungs · 11 months ago
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year ago
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#sometimes. most times. if i cant articulate things properly i feel like my heads gonna explode. which is unfortunate bc i have the#language is hard brain problems. my neurology makes articulation difficult. but i try reguardless. which is sometimes. most times.#exhausting. that words gets thrown around a lot when i describe the patterns of my thoughts. exhausting. and it is i guess. tho id say its#more annoying and frustrating. but maybe its also exhausting. hard to tell when its how u think. but ive been reading a lot of papers this#weekend. enjoying the papers i read. papers about photosynthesis at the edge of habitability. about genetis and the structure and functions#of proteins. and the learning curve is steep but im learning bit by bit. and it just sorta makes me sad bc the way that my brain works has#so damaged the way that i interact with the world and i can see it at every step of my academic career. i dont even kno what to say abt the#past 2 years of my life. from where i stand now its just a black hole of self destruction. y did i do that? i dunno. at the time i was just#following the arbitrary rules and restrictions laid out for me within my head. did these rules have a rational basis? no. not usually. but#thats how it had to be. exhausting. but even then i coukd sometimes see thru to the wonder. and it was agony bc i wasnt allowed to think#abt it. its still agony now but i can feel it more often. maybe that's what happiness is to me. to be so full of wonder that i cant take it#i cant exist in that state or id b nonfunctional. its too big for my chest. it makes me want to scream and weep and pull at my hair. and#and its maddening bc i cant articulate it properly. except to call upon media short hands. there is wonder here. a nightmarish description#but not always. sometimes it was beautiful. theres a reason ive read annihilati0n 5 times despite hating the book. theres a reason i rewatch#the terror nearly once a month. to find beauty in a thing that causes you such terror and pain. theres something about it i can't find the#words for and its driving me nuts. exhausting. but so it goes#unrelated
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29121996 · 1 year ago
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#have been trying tocdoc.y hair since . 9pm . im not do e#i gotta put another coat of dye over it#bc it is so patchy n i forgot how colour works so i need a darker tone for the top of my head#bc i decide to fuck around and find out w lightening cream .#anyway loved the green hated everything else#so will b colour stripping Again in a few weeks so i can . go green :3#it was a pretty shade but . idk what the fuck to do abt the mess that is . my hair bc i rlly#cant do shit for s wgile#or ay all#its stuck being patchy n shitty for a while but i can make it less Awful n more . put tgth#bc like i may fuck shit up to begin with but im quite good at fixing things#worse case#i send my sister into woolies or smth to get me . like black box dye n i hust do That tmr after work#whuch will 100% turn iut splendid#or i do have dark blue here whicb . i can also do and will cover uo Everything ive fucked up#anyway thatll b a problem for me tmr#i have to wake up at like 10am to fo this n id rather die actyally#i nean i start work at 10 but . this shit takes an gour everytume so if the purple doesnt take the blue will#anyway bleach is a bitch . i shouldve taken my time n had a plan of some kind other than#slapping lightener and calling it a day !#good thing is im not sensitive to this kinda sgit bc it is fixable 😭 like i can jus . go to a salon#n it is Just Hair . ive had worse dye jobs n hair cuts . its just .#idk hos to epxlain ti bc my sister said it looked fine . n while i dont trhst her#sje also does tell nd to my face if i look lile sgit so
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the-amber-droid-dreams · 1 year ago
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[ID: #THANK YOU #not to mention. homelessness is a thing and being seen as too dirty to be public is a way the homeless are ostracized]
I loathe how much people struggling w hygiene is such a sticking point in these conversations, how it’s like one of the most known and common symptoms of basically every mental illness and yet it stalls literally every conversation asking people to not actively abuse us for being mentally ill.
I’m lucky, during those times I’ve always been able to shower and dress myself when I’ve needed to, I’ve never been forced to actually go anywhere like that…but people act like someone being so miserable and so detached from themselves that they can’t even bring themselves to perform basic self care is 1. A personal attack on them which they’re justified in retaliating for, 2. A personal choice they’re intentionally making and 3. Something which makes someone less of a human being and less deserving of compassion and respect.
Like yeah standing behind someone in line at Walmart who smells funky isn’t fun, but I promise you whatever they’re going through that’s caused it is a million times worse and harder than the 30 seconds of mild, escapable discomfort you felt. I promise you they know they’re not doing great, they’re absolutely sorry, they definitely feel bad about it, you don’t need to make it worse. They don’t wanna be that in that place any more than you do. It costs nothing to just have some compassion for them.
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nomaishuttle · 1 year ago
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i think maybe my streak system is a bitttt op...
#i might have t rework th points.. bc i earned 108.5 in spending money this week lol#i did do very good tho... i met my weekly goal for every single task except for eat well#but tbh eat well is one of the harder and also vaguer ones.. bc its eat something with vegetables Or try a new food and i just donot grt#much opportunity to do either...#but. i will keep it there so that i know my foley#im so proud of myself ive been brushing and flossing twice a day for over a week !!!!#AND i showered alnost every day this week... i didnt yesterday and i didnt todya bc brother i dont have work. and my hair needs a break lol#<- joke my hair feels so nice all da time... Who knew that being clean makes u feel better. this is craaaazy#i dont wanna get toooo far ahead of myself. i dont wanna get 2 big 4 my britches...#a fun fact is that when we were little our dad taught us 2 say britches instead of pants#solely bc my sibling had a hard time pronouncing r's . so when our granny watched us theyd go GRANNY I NEED MY BITCHES!!!!!! and my dad#thought it was the funniest thing ever#mainly bc my granny Didnt want us cussing but also thought it was really funny bc its so funny when kids cuss. so everytime shed be like#your WHAT? trying not to laugh and then shed be like your britches . okay and then shed slap my dad lol. shoutout to my grannyy#idk if u guys heard but she died. very sad. very sad#<- genuinely very sad that sounded sarcastic. ngl controversial i miss my granny im just kinda weird like that like when my family member#dies im sad abt it... im kind of an empath so i just like i can sense the absence of their energy and it causes my energy to recede.. aura#crystals and et cetera.
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