#ITS JUST A LOT

[hopelesslygaysstuff]

chat i am so burnt out and severely unmotivated to write more kinktober fics but ill push thru for you guys but sorry if the fics aren't as long

[riddle-me-ri]

sometimes im so relieved that I just live in a wee delusional imaginative world of f/os instead of having an actual partner...my manager lowkey dumps their situationships/relationship drama on me at work to vent and it's just...absolutely fucking wild what's going on

[theloveinc]

[sarcastictissy]

Opened twt, saw doomposting, closed twt.

[roaldamundsen]

thank god for the people who visit me and DONT want to go to the louvre my boyfriend texted me "just paintings innit"

[beansnpeets]

Well I don't think I'll ever be able to take time off in the future, like more than a day or two at a time. Absolute chaos while I've been away and now I have to play catchup and clean up the mess Boss made. He had a rough time without me the last 6 weeks. I am so mentally drained already from all of this, plus having to deal with my personal crap that's going on right now. It's nuts.

[hillbillyoracle]

-crawls out of hell-

Oh hey guys, what's up

[devotion-disorder]

gawrsh a hyuck im really goin thru it rn i feel like im constantly on the verge of tears WAOH

[spoofthespoofer]

Small vent. Nothing serious, don't worry about it. Just stressed.

Aghh, our school has a big event tomorrow evening that I'm organising with a small committee and I am SO NERVOUS about it that I feel sick

It's like a graduation for our year. Kinda. Idk it's complicated.

We have to sort our seating arrangements, displays, a PowerPoint, speeches, 3 singing acts , one ballet act, a tribute to our tutors, a timetable, student-voted awards, teacher-voted awards, music, decorations, a kahoot game, a 'memory slideshow', overall layout, setting up a stage, lights, speakers, microphones, etc-

And I am terrified that I'm forgetting something. This is so much pressure, oh my god 😭

I also learned that the rest of the committee is making fun of me behind my back. I'm not surprised. Realistically, I've come to expect it now, but it still kinda hurts. A little.

But yeah :) Small rant over

[bloodanddiscoballs]

godddddd I feel so stressed out

[cloverbxnny]

Being a creator online sometimes sucks because I feel so inadequate because of all the pretty girls online. Then I remember that 90% are using filters, but I try the same ones and still don't look as good. It's honestly a little hard to resist the urge to use them when I feel like the creative space is a competition, but I dont want to feed into it and make someone else take my place in feeling like they aren't pretty.

[2leggedshark]

Watching sands of time confuses ny brain for some reason.

[isawken]

thing that keeps me up at night #44

neanderthals existed from about 130,000 to 40,000 years ago

homo sapiens have existed for 3000,000 years

that's 90k years of potential intermingling

that's almost an entire third of our existence, another species running parallel to us. but what were the differences? how different were their faces? their language? i was reading something that said they had less sophisticated language capabilities than us. when we interacted with them, what was it like? were our languages similar enough to get by? or as foreign as english and sumerian? the first evidence of the written word we have is from 3400 BCE. as we all know, that doesn't mean that's the first time we wrote anything down. it's just the first time we wrote something down on a tablet that survived for 5k years. the same is true for other arts. we have cave paintings as old as 45k years. that doesn't mean that's the first art ever. just the first that lasted so long.

did homo sapiens and neanderthals ever fall in love?

did they ever sit in a cave together, painting bulls and elk on the walls? did they tell each other stories? could they?

did a homo sapien and a human ever hold hands? did a homo sapien ever see a neanderthal from across the river and feel their heart thump in their chest? did a neanderthal ever caress the face of a homo sapien? did they ever look in each other's eyes and smile?

did love exist back then like it does now? when was the first time one human looked at another and thought,

"I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and only you."

we'll never know! and it fucking kills me.

we can trace language and history and biology so far back, hundreds of thousands and millions and billions of years. we know what beings 65 millions years ago looked like. we can guess when the fucking universe started.

but we can't know when the first human loved another.

i know this is saccharine and cheesy and corny but it really does keep me up at night. the indefinable aspects that make up the core human experience. how inherently unknowable they are. how inextricable they are. we can never know how our ancestors loved. but, at the end of the day, i also know that doesn't really matter, because we love how we love now, and that's more than enough.

still.

wouldn't it be nice to know where it came from?

[angelastrology]

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[the-rini-rush]

eurghgg

my audience is pretty big but i’ve had so many experiences of other people telling me i’ve reblogged scams :((

and it just makes me a bit more cautious and nervous, so now i just reblog popular campaigns i see on my feed :(

i feel so bad but it just makes me uncomfortable for it to be so personal to me when i’m a minor (14) and can only do so much by reblogging their pinned posts and then sometimes it turns out they’re a fucking scam or i get spammed by other families

and i know it probably looks so selfish of me but it’s the truth.

i genuinely want the families to get somewhere safe, but do not send me asks, i will find popular and already vetted campaigns and reblog those

if you’re not happy with my actions, you can take it up with me in the dms (moots) i’m very sorry if i let many people down

Please do not send me asks for donations

Here's why:

I have NO money to give you

I'm not a popular enough blog that I will give you any reach

I am a minor, and most of my followers are too

It makes me feel extremely guilty

Seeing pictures of injuries or hospitals etc are triggering for me (which are in most intro posts for this sort of thing)

They are always worded in a way that makes me feel like I am a murderer if I don't donate

It makes me feel uncomfortable

I said I don't want them, and my boundaries should be respected

I can't tell what is a bot and what isn't

I get a lot of spam from this. It is disappointing to see 10 new asks in my inbox just to be the same ask for donations over and over

Please, just respect the fact that I have said this.

Edit: To all the people reblogging this, I'm sorry you have had to deal with this too. And yes, you can put this in your pinned post! Stay safe <3