#ITS IANTO FEELING LEFT OUT

[itsatorchwoodthing]

defending Torchwood’s 1x4 (Cyberwoman)’s cinematography wITH MY TEETH

[letsboldlygomotherfuckers]

If ur not careful I might have to watch torchwood… do u recommend or is it an affliction you would not recommend to others?

hehehehehe >:3c gottem boys

no fr like. you have to look past the fact it's a low budget bbc production at times and embrace the slightly see through lesbian alien with foot long fingers that can read minds. you have to embrace the sex alien that absorbs people through her pussy. crucially, you have to watch it in as few sittings as possible. the only proper way to watch torchwood is to watch the entire thing absolutely nonstop and nothing else in between until your brain falls out through your ears :)

[meta-squash]

I'm obsessed with the parallels between Small Worlds and Children Of Earth.

For Jack specifically, CoE is the same events as Small Worlds played out on a much larger scale.

Something is happening with a child/children (Jasmine/the world's children). Turns out, it's an alien enemy Jack has seen before (Lahore 1909/Scotland 1965). It is established that the alien enemy is very very powerful and difficult to beat, and that they have made threats to the entire human race if their demands are not met. Both enemies demand children, and promise that the children they want will "live forever." A man is sacrificed as, essentially, a warning or an attempt to keep Torchwood away (Mark/Rupesh). Torchwood attempt to figure out different ways of beating the enemy. In retaliation, the enemy kills Jack's lover (Estelle/Ianto). The alien enemy also kills another person in its way (Roy/Clem) despite attempts to prevent the death. All this forces Jack to realize the extent of the threat and his grief also emotionally backs him into a corner. When he is faced with an ultimatum, he ends up painfully sacrificing a single child (Jasmine/Steven) for the good of the world, despite the pain it causes himself and the child's mother. He leaves feeling helpless, feeling like he had no other choice, with everyone angry at him and angry at himself as well.

I think what gets me the most about the parallels is the death of Jack's lover. It's obvious that Jack did and still does genuinely love Estelle. He says as much to Gwen. And he definitely feels guilt about her death; if he hadn't reunited with her, she would have been safe. I think his guilt and his feelings of responsibility towards both her and Jasmine and, ultimately, the world, are what cause him to sacrifice Jasmine to the faeries so readily instead of trying to negotiate or find another way. He's mourning the loss of Estelle and because of that grief I think he knows that he has to let Jasmine go. If he doesn't, more people will die, whether it's people he loves or strangers.

Similarly, Jack definitely feels guilty for Ianto's death, and I think there's guilt there that if Ianto hadn't come with him to Thames House he'd still be alive. In mourning the loss of Ianto, he's backed into a corner again, and he knows that no one else is going to sacrifice their own children to save the world. He sacrifices Steven despite the fact that it essentially destroys him completely, because he knows that if he doesn't, the whole world is at stake.

Every version of the parallel in Children of Earth is way, way more personal and in close proximity than in Small Worlds. In Small Worlds, everyone is a stranger, except Estelle. But while she was once Jack's lover, that's over 50 years in the past with all that time between them. After he sacrifices Jasmine, he's feels helpless, guilty, but she's a stranger and she wanted to go, in a way. He's blames himself but it's something he can bounce back from; he has distance. In Children of Earth, it is Jack's home and family that are destroyed or threatened, it is his current lover that is killed, and it is his own grandson that he has to sacrifice. All of those losses and sacrifices and guilts and everything totally break him, they're so close and personal and like he says to Gwen before he leaves, he has nothing left.

It establishes a certain kind of reaction in Jack. That when faced with a huge personal loss, if he finds himself trapped or in a difficult situation, he's willing to make a huge and often painful second sacrifice in order to protect the greater good, presumably because he's already in enough pain that this new loss seems like it can't make things that much worse (which ultimately ends up being untrue, but isn't necessarily the point), and because by showing emotional weakness, whatever he's up against can exploit him further by using that.

I wonder if the Torchwood writers noticed the parallels at all. The person who wrote Small Worlds was not involved in CoE at all. But it is interesting to have such similar storylines, yet one is played out on a much grander scale and with Jack made helpless in many different ways throughout the story rather than just at the end by the power of the alien itself.

[the-torchwood-archive]

From TWM #9, Harm's Way Part Two.

Full text is under the cut. This was a quick transcription so please let me know if you find any mistakes.

The hospital was busy. Crowded, in fact. But Rhys barely noticed. He walked up to the reception desk in A&E in a daze, although he could still feel his guts churning.

‘I’m here for Gwen Cooper,’ he said, his mouth dry as paper. ‘She’s my fiancée. I had a call…’

He left the words to die, allowing the haunted look in his eyes convince the pretty girl behind the triage desk. Without a word, the girl cast her eyes down at her VDU and began to rattle the keyboard.

‘Room seven,’ she said, without a smile. There wasn’t much to smile about in a city centre casualty department on Saturday night, ‘Through the double doors, straight on, then left. Next set of doors. You can’t miss it. Ask if you do.’

‘Thanks,’ Rhys threaded his way through the sick and injured as they milled around the waiting area coffee machine.  Rhys passed a miserable looking man sitting up on a gurney in the corner, nursing a hand wrapped in a blood-stained tea towel. His wife was standing nearby, nagging him about being more careful when using a bread knife – and what was he thinking, using it to open a cereal box anyway? Judging by the look on the man’s face as he glared at the woman, he was already thinking about another good use for a bread knife.

Rhys found room seven and went in. There was a bad and a low chair and a strong antiseptic smell. In the bed was a woman, with dark hair pulled back from a face as white as the pillow. Plastic tubes ran from the woman’s nose to a series of bottles and instruments, and an intravenous drip was connected to her arm. It took him a few moments to realize that the pale, injured person in the bed was his fiancée.

Gwen’s eyes were closed, her face slack, no sign of life. Until now, Rhys had never properly thought of the word ‘deathly’ before.

‘Gwen?’ he whispered.

No response, not even a flicker of an eyelid. Oh, God.

He sat down, slowly, in the chair. It was far too low, but it brought his eyes level with her face. In profile she looked even less like the Gwen he knew. White-faced, still, lifeless.

On the far side of the bed, a machine clicked and whirred with a doleful rhythm. For a long while there was no other sound in the room, or even the hospital beyond. No other sound in the whole world, until a footstep alerted Rhys to the fact that there was someone in the doorway.

‘She’s gonna be ok,’ said Captain Jack Harkness. He came into the room, tall, athletic, healthy. He even managed to make that old RAF greatcoat look good. And in that instant, Rhys hated him more than he had ever hated any other human being in his life.

‘Ok?’ Rhys spat the letters out one by one, his face twisted into a derisive sneer, ‘What do you mean ok? Look at her!’ Rhys was on his feet now, fully intending to lash out, but then his legs seem to give way and he slumped back down into the low chair, his voice cracking, ‘Look at her, look what you’ve done to her you stupid…’

Jack put his hand on Rhys' shoulder, ‘I said she’s going to be okay. I promise.’

‘How can you know that?’ Rhys said thickly. His face was in his hands, ‘She’s in a bloody hospital bed for Christ’s sake.’

They both looked at each other then. She hadn’t moved throughout the exchange, hadn’t acknowledged their presence in any way whatsoever. The machines continued their steady hiss and beep.

Rhys looked up at Jack with red eyes, ‘What happened? Just tell me what the hell happened.’

--------------

Owen was driving at breakneck speed.

‘Have you still got a death wish or something?’ asked Ianto, clinging onto the passenger seat arm rests as Owen swung the Torchwood SUV into another wild turn. The vehicle rocked on its suspension as it scrambled over the uneven ground.

‘Life wish,’ Owen corrected him, stamping on the footbrake and spinning the wheel. The SUV skidded on its own axis and then surged forward, ‘Saving lives is what I want to do, and I can’t afford to go slow.’

Ianto closed his eyes as the SUV came to a hard stop in the middle of a building site. This was going to be a supermarket, but right now it was little more than a big expanse of dirt, foundation trenches and large plastic components for the sewers. There were a couple of pieces of heavy plant machinery here and there, but apart from that the place was dead.

Above them the early evening clouds promised rain. Lots of it.

‘You’re in the right place,’ said Toshiko, who was back in the Hub, her voice coming clear over Ianto’s communications link. He thanked her and passed the message on to Owen, who wasn’t wearing his own earpiece because half his face was covered by a huge surgical dressing. The exposed skin of his lips and cheek were raw and swollen and his left eye was barely open.

Ianto grabbed his arm before he opened the car door, ‘ Owen, you don’t have to prove anything to me.’

‘I know that,’ Owen snapped as he got out. He was hurting, but Ianto knew there was more to it than a fractured cheek bone. He had insisted on patching himself up before leaving the Hub, despite the protestations of his collogues.

Toshiko’s voice came through Ianto’s comms again, ‘You’re close to the Rift disturbance now. You should be able to locate the exact spot from there.’

‘Ok,’ Ianto said, activating his PDA. As he waited for the device to decipher the readings, he asked Toshiko for news about Gwen.

‘She’s stable, that’s all the hospital would tell Jack,’ came the reply, ‘He’s there now, deflecting questions from the police.’

Ianto’s PDA chirruped as it picked up a chronon flare, ‘ Rift activity,’ he reported automatically, ‘This way Doctor Harper…’

Owen followed him across the building site, drawing his gun. Ianto glanced back at him and Owen shrugged. Guns hadn’t had much of an effect so far but he felt better with one in his hand.

They climbed over a pile of rubble and stopped short. Lying in the middle of the ground was a long, amber crust about the size and shape of a coffin. It looked exactly like what it actually was: a giant chrysalis.

‘Empty,’ grunted Owen, circling cautiously.

‘No life signs at all,’ reported Ianto, checking the PDA sensor.

‘You can say that again,’ Owen looked down at the ground. Laying at his feet was the body of a man in a hi-vis jacket caked in mug, and a hard hat split open to reveal a mass of congealed hair and brain matter.

‘Oh no,’ said Ianto.

There were other bodies laying around, half hidden in the dirt, looking like bundles of rags left out in the rain. One of them had been decapitated.

‘Builders must have found the chrysalis,’ Owen said, ‘Poor bastards never stood a chance.’

Ianto nodded and touched his earpiece, ‘Tosh? We’ve found it all right. It’s another chrysalis, identical to the first. But this one’s already open.’

--------------

‘The first one came down in a back garden in Pontcanna,’ said Jack, ‘We took it to the Hub for analysis and identified it as some sort of alien chrysalis.’

Rhys watched him carefully. Jack was leaning back against the far wall, striped by the light from the street lamps outside, sneaking in through the Venetian blinds. He wasn’t smiling and his eyes were the colour of storm clouds. The words severe weather warning leapt into Rhy’s mind.

‘It wasn’t long before it opened. What came out was…hostile.’

Rhys looked back at Gwen. She was still unconscious. He was beginning to worry that it was a coma or something. ‘It escaped…’ he heard Jack say, ‘Injuring Owen, Ianto and Gwen in the process.’

‘But not you,’ Rhys said without looking up, his voice full of ice-cold anger.

‘Believe me, if I could swap places with her, I would.’

Rhys stood up, ‘I knew this was going to happen. I bloody knew it! I said to her only this morning, I said: you’re going to get hurt, Gwen. You’re going to get hurt or killed running around after Captain Jack Harkness and Torchwood, and chasing bloody space aliens!’

He yelled he last bit, just as a nurse walked in to check on Gwen. She glanced at Jack, excused herself with a self-conscious smile, and went about her business fixing a fresh saline bag to the IV drip. The two men watched her in thunderous silence. Rhys wanted to ask her if Gwen was going to be alright, but didn’t trust himself to speak properly now. There was a great big, spiky ball of emotion swelling up inside his throat. Eventually the nurse went out, and Rhys turned on Jack again, ‘So what happens now?’

‘The doctors said she’s suffering from a concussion,’ Jack said, ‘X-rays showed a hairline fracture of the skull. There are some cracked ribs too,’ He sighed, ‘To be honest, it could have been worse.’

‘Worse?’

‘She could have been killed!’ Now, suddenly, Jack had lost his cool as well, as if his calm demeanor of a few moments ago had been little more than a thin mask covering his real emotions. His voice shook slightly as he repeated, almost hoarsely, ‘She could have been killed.’

But for Rhys that just made things worse. He glared at Jack, ‘Do you think I don’t know that? Do you think I don’t wish it was you lying there?’ He jabbed a finger at the silent, unmoving figure in the bed.

Two more nurses came in then, both looking straight at Jack. One of them was the nurse who’d just been in, and clearly she had gone to fetch a friend. The friend’s eyes roved Jack up and down in expert appraisal. Jack smiled at them both, but the nurses knew they had just walked into an argument, ‘Listen, you boys,’ said the first nurse, ‘It’s not going to do this young lady any good to hear you two arguing over her, is it?’

‘We’re not – ‘ both men began, and then stopped abruptly, neither one wanting to look as if they were doing just that.

‘I’m not in love with her,’ Jack said quietly, at exactly the same time as Rhys said, ‘She’s my fiancée.’

The nurse sighed, ‘ Why don’t you both go outside and cool off a bit?’

--------------

‘Is she going to be ok?’ Rhys asked as they were ushered into the corridor.

‘She’s hurt and she needs time to heal. She’s in the best possible place, honestly,’ the nurse smiled at him, ‘Go and get a cup of tea or something. We’ll let you know as soon as she wakes up.’

Rhys nodded dumbly, all the fight gone out of him now. Eventually he became aware of Jack taking a call on his earpiece.

‘Tosh? What gives?’

‘Owen and Ianto have found a second chrysalis.’

‘Damn.’

‘And it’s open.’

‘Damn!’

‘There are already fatalities, Jack…’

‘Damn!’ Jack took a deep breath, ‘Ok, we’ve gotta find it before it kills again. We stopped the first one so we can stop this one.’

‘How?’

‘I’ll think of something. Get them to pick me up from the hospital.’

‘Ok. How’s Gwen?’

‘Just the same. Rhys is with her now.’

‘That’s good.’

‘Yeah,’ Jack closed the call and turned back to Rhys, ‘I’ve got to go.’

‘I heard. Chasing aliens.’

‘Someone’s got to do it.’

It was said without a hint of irony, and Rhys was too tired and worried to care. But something made him ask, ‘How did you stop it, in the end? The thing that got Gwen?’

He wanted to hear how Jack and the team had made the beast pay for what it had done, but Jack simply shook his head, ‘We didn’t stop it, not really. The alien was looking for the exit when I crawled out of the autopsy room. But the Hub’s a sealed environment designed to stop hostile extraterrestrial forces from escaping into the real world. So the thing wasn’t exactly happy. It was flinging itself around, smashing into walls, wrecking the place.’

‘Sounds like some kind of wild animal,’ Rhys was almost relieved, as if Gwen’s condition could be excused as an accident of nature, rather than a deliberate attack by an intelligent force.

‘I’m not so sure,’ Jack frowned, ‘I looked into its eyes at one point. It was looking right back at me. And it knew. It knew I was gonna try to stop it.’

Rhys swallowed, feeling a bilious mix of fear and rage churning in his stomach, ‘So…?’

‘Ianto had an idea – a one shot chance at stopping it in its tracks for good. He said the creature was a predator, and naturally armoured, but there’s always a week spot. He reckoned every time it opened its mouth, there was a soft unprotected part of the palate that was exposed. A bullet through that would pass, relatively unobstructed, straight into the brain. It was a kill shot, but one requiring absolute precision in difficult circumstances. The target would be exposed for only a second as the creature roared, and then it would be right on top of you. If you hadn’t got it by then, you’d be dead meat yourself.’

Rhys reguarded Jack with genuine respect, ‘And you did it?’

Jack laughed, ‘Are you kidding? Hey, I’m good – but I’m not that good.’

‘So…?’

‘Luckily Tosh had a better idea; we lured the alien to the Rift manipulator and she hot-wired a small, highly localised time field. Slowed down a discrete pocket of time surrounding the creature. Now it’s still alive – just moving real slow. Tosh says the effect won’t last long, though. When the time-field snaps, back in line with everything else, the creature will just carry on doing exactly what it was in the middle of. Before then we have to find a way to stop it permanently.’

‘Well you’ve got another chance to find a way now, haven’t you? If there’s another one on the loose.’

‘Yeah, maybe. But how many people is it gonna kill before we find it?’ Jack’s earpiece bleeped, ‘ They’re here. I’ve gotta go.”

Rhys nodded, ‘I’ll stay here with Gwen. I want to be the first thing she sees when she wakes up,’ he held out his hand, ‘Good luck.’

Jack saluted with his fingertips and then left without another word.

--------------

‘We’ve got a fix, somewhere in Grangetown,’ said Ianto as Jack climbed into the SUV. It had clouded over and rain was in its way.

Owen tooled the car out of the hospital grounds and accelerated westbound onto Eastern Avenue.

‘It’s heading for the city,’ Ianto said, studying the flat screen in front of him. The light gave his face a soft blue pallor. The bruise on his forehead looked purple and sore.

‘Mouth shot, huh?’ said Jack.

Ianto looked at him, ‘It was only an idea.’

‘Not one of your best, Ianto,’ commented Owen.

‘At the moment it’s all we’ve got,’ Jack opened the cylinder on his old Webley revolver, checked it was fully loaded, then snapped it shut. He turned around to look at Ianto, ‘When we catch up with this guy, you can be the one to ask it to open wide for me, ok?’

Ianto raised an eyebrow but said nothing.

‘Police report on a traffic pile up near the Taff Embankment on Penarth Road,’ Owen announced. His earpiece was not jammed into his good ear and tuned to the police network.

‘So take a detour.’

‘You don’t understand. The thing that caused the pile up – cops are calling it some kind of nine-foot monster. First car hit it square on and bounced off. Then it wrecked the other vehicles and threw a lorry into the river.’

Jack’s face hardened, ‘Step on it.’

In the Hub, deep beneath Roald Dahl Plass, Toshiko took a moment to admire her handiwork. By using the Rift manipulator to bend the laws of physics, Toshiko had slowed time down in a bubble around the alien. It was a peculiar effect, the beast had paused like a snapshot suspended in mid-air. But, unlike the image on a TV screen, if you watched it carefully, you could still see the alien moving, as slowly – or as quickly – as the hour hand on a watch.

‘Bullet time,’ Ianto had said. He’s still been clutching the big Heckler & Koch G36 assault rifle, ‘Why don’t we shoot it now?’

‘Because as soon as the bullet enters the protracted tachyon field it’ll slow right down as well,’ Tosh had told him, ‘And besides, it’s mouth is closed.’

The sound of police sirens filled the Hub, relayed via the comms link in the SUV as it sped towards the city centre. Soon Jack’s voice had also crackled through the air, and Tosh heard him loud and clear as he made his way into the growing chaos, ‘Get these people out of the way! This is Torchwood! We’re dealing with the situation now.’

Toshiko shook her head. Were they? As usual they seemed to be reacting to events rather than controlling them. She had just realized a whole branch of theoretical physics at a moments notice, and there wasn’t even time to appreciate it. But Torchwood never paused, not even for thought. Everything they did was fast, reactive, and above all secret. This was the 21st Century. Everything was changing and  they had to be ready.

‘Tosh, are you getting me?’ Jack’s voice snapped Toshiko out of her reverie. ‘I hear you Jack. Go ahead.’

‘We’re closing in on the second alien. It’s having some kinda tantrum in the city centre. We’ll stay online and keep you informed. See if you can come up with anything that can help.

‘Like a bloody big gun,’ suggested Owen, crackling over the speakers.

Tosh touched her earpiece, ‘Jack, I don’t know if it’s any use, but –‘

‘There it is!’ She heard Jack’s voice cutting across her. The speakers made his voice crackle and distort, ‘Hang a left. Whoa! It’s on top of that bus! Hey, it’s grown. Man, that’s one big guy…’

Toshiko almost screamed in frustration. She couldn’t see a thing. With one hand she was trying to punch up CCTV images from the city centre on her monitors, but it was murderously slow business.

‘How could it get that big?’ asked Ianto.

‘Will it ever stop growing?’ Owen pitched in, ‘I mean, are we talking a Godzilla scenario, or what?’

Tosh began to feel the cold dread building up inside her. She felt totally cut off from the events, helpless as she listened to them. What could she do? The slo-mo monster in the time bubble wasn’t going to wait forever. And neither was its twin, the thing that was already carving a bloody path through central Cardiff.

‘It’s tearing cars in half with its bare hands,’ she heard Ianto’s voice, ‘There are armed police, but they can’t do any good.’

‘I’m gonna find their commanding officer,’ Jack said, ‘We’ve got the pull them back, right out of harm’s way.’

--------------

Toshiko heard a crash, like a car accident, and them more shouting. Shots were fired. There were screams. Impatiently she rapped at her earpiece with her fingers, ‘Jack?’

‘Busy now, Tosh,’ came the reply. A pause, then the sound of more shots. Men shouting. Jack’s voice snapping out orders, presumably to the police. It sounded like he was reporting from a war zone. Suddenly there was silence. Then: ‘Ok, Toshiko. What have you got for me? Make it good.’

‘I’ve been looking at the chrysalis, Jack. I’ve compared the markings we found on the first one with the images of the second.’

‘Tosh, we’ve got a hostile alien tearing lumps out of Central Square. People are dying. What’s the bottom line?’

Before Toshiko could say another word, she heard a terrific crash over the speakers and yet more screaming. Machine gun fire rattled out into the night. She swiveled in her seat as CCTV images from the centre of town finally rolled into life on her screens. Those that were working showed the swirling blue lights of emergency vehicles, silhouettes running, some of them armed. There was no sign of the SUV.

One of the cameras caught a glimpse of the alien: brutish, part-simian and part-scorpion, trampling vehicles underfoot. Heavy rain and the low resolution image made it difficult to see any details, and the creature disappeared in a flash down a side street.

‘Jack? Can you hear me? Owen? Ianto? Is anyone receiving me?’

Nothing but static. The connection was dead. Everything was slipping out of her control. What could she do?

She switched one of the screens onto the BBC News channel. A local correspondent was reporting from Cardiff city centre, huddled in a raincoat, police cars behind them, ‘…something loose in the city centre, extremely hostile. A police spokesman refused to be drawn on the exact nature of the emergency, but we do know that the EVAC Cardiff response team is currently holding an emergency meeting in City Hall. The city centre has been sealed off and the police are flooding the area with armed response units. Residents are advised to stay…’

His final words were drowned out by the roar of a huge explosion, an orange fireball erupting in the background. Pieces of debris sped towards the screen in a blue and then, abruptly, the image disappeared as the camera went offline.

Toshiko sat back, stunned. No Jack. Nothing from Ianto or Owen. Gwen unconscious in hospital. A hostile alien causing chaos in the city, and another one right behind her, poised to rip her to shreds the moment time began to flow freely once again.

What could she do all by herself?

[angstea]

46. with any Torchwood characters

108. with Owen and other(s)

obviously only do if you’re comfortable! and thank you in advance!!

Hi anon! Sorry this took so long for me to get to but here it is! The second prompt has been posted seperately, here's the link

46 (self-harm) with any Torchwood characters

Ship: Janto

TWs: Self harm, blood and brief descriptions of vomiting

AN: Ianto is autistic

Read on AO3

Ianto woke with a quiet gasp, adrenaline pumping through his body. He did his best to drag air into his lungs as he fumbled for the switch to the lamp by his bed (he usually left it on when he fell asleep but Jack was here tonight and something in his stomach had burned with shame at the thought of Jack knowing he slept with a light on like a little kid).

The light suddenly filled the room and Ianto still found himself flinching at the abrupt shift. At least he wasn't in the dark anymore. At least he could breathe. Mostly.

He definitely wasn't having a panic attack but his chest felt tight and his heart was still pounding as the remnants of a nightmare clung to his memory. He could only remember fragments.

White walls spattered with blood, the stench of dead meat and a vague feeling of shivering fatal cold.

A wave of nausea rolled through him and he gagged, but that was all. He sucked in a deep breath and got to his feet, sparing a glance at the still sleeping Jack before padding down the hallway to the bathroom.

He didn't even bother to switch on the light, just squinted through the darkness as he stumbled his way over to the sink and turned on the cold tap.

He just let the freezing cold water run through his fingers as he breathed, in and out and in and out, over and over again. It calmed his heart beat the tiniest fraction and cleared his head of the fog that shrouded his mind when the nightmares set in. Still, a bit of cold water could only do so much for the pressure in his chest and the knot of anxiety in his stomach. All it really did was pull him back to reality, it didn't soothe his fear.

He couldn't do anything for this sort of fear and it drove him mad. There was nothing to do, no problem to fix other than his own spiralling thoughts. He could handle being anxious about rift retrievals because he could make plans, make sure everything was in order and go over every possible outcome. He could handle being anxious about what to say to Jack because he could rehearse every word in his mind as much as he needed to. There was fuck all he could do about this, except-

He turned off the tap and went digging through the bathroom cabinet before he could think (he still hid it away like he did when he was young, as if the sight of a razor blade sitting out in the open would raise questions. He just felt like Jack would somehow know the minute he layed eyes on it). He picked up the blade, holding it between shaking fingers.

He stood there unmoving for the longest time, hand curled around the blade and waiting for himself to pluck up the courage. Another bout of nausea rolled through him, shoving its way up into his throat and he heaved once more, spitting a little bit of bile into the sink. He was suddenly grateful for the fact he'd barely eaten today.

He breathed carefully, in through his nose and out through his mouth. Then he straightened up once more and raised the blade to his arm. He pushed it down against his skin, feeling it split. He dragged it down, lengthening the cut and feeling the warm blood begin to pour from it. The sting soothed his nerves immediately and he slumped against the wall in relief.

He slid down to sit on the floor as despite the fact he was significantly calmer, he still felt wobbly and nervous. He made to cut his arm open again-

"Ianto?" Jack's call echoed down the corridor and Ianto's blood ran cold.

Shit.

The blade slipped from his shakey fingers and hit the tile with a high pitched clatter that rang in his ears.

The light clicked on and Ianto recoiled, covering his eyes from the sudden burning brightness. Jack was standing in the doorway, Ianto felt painfully exposed.

He approached quietly, crouching down by Ianto's side as he carefully picked the blade up from the ground. Ianto saw the moment the dots connected in his head. He felt hot molten shame pool in his stomach and the anxiety of it all was enough to make him retch again.

Jack cast the offending item to the side in favour of wordlessly gathering Ianto into his embrace. Ianto's arms were tucked against his chest, folded together to hide the marks.

"Ianto, can I see your arms?" he asked softly.

Ianto didn't react, didn't even move. He couldn't get his body to comply with anything he wanted, couldn't force his mouth to form a word or do much more than make his fingers twitch. It was like everything had shut down while he watched from behind his eyes.

Jack's only indication that this unresponsive behaviour concerned him was a further depeening of his frown. Gently, he wrapped his fingers around Ianto's hands to carefully pry them away from his body, just enough to inspect the damage. Ianto couldn't even resist against it.

Upon verifying that only a single cut marred his skin, Jack seemed to relax. He then pulled Ianto into his lap and wrapped the younger man tightly in his arms, crushing him against his chest.

Ianto took a shakey gasp in, the pressure ripping through all the tension held in his muscles. He went limp against Jack's chest and the tears began to slip down his face in earnest as the sobs tore at his chest. Jack just stroked his hair and murmured soothing nonsense into the air between them.

[jakowskis]

Day 4 - What’s your least favorite episode(s)?

oh g-d ok. so the way i said even the best torchwood eps are 70% good 30% bad? well my least favorite eps are like, 80% bad, 20% something that fucking rots my brain... and my resentment + frustration is increased by the fact that, like, im not able to dismiss the ep completely bc there's like two or three good things in all the mess. so then i have to revisit it, and every time i do im reminded how bad it is. jgkfgk. so it builds up my disdain more than usual

anyway. i hope i dont hurt anyones feelings w these opinions im just petty fhsdkjfsdhjk

ok i have a particular grudge against adam. it makes me viscerally angry. i have a tangible hatred for adam!owen like JGKFKGKGKF it's semi inexplicable but he makes me angryyyyy. i see ppl gush about him being cute in that ep - to me, he comes across as a pushy niceguy in it and it grosses me tf out, and i hateeee the towen implications there, bc usually it's switched, right? so if confident!tosh is like normal!owen, i dislike conflating stalkery niceguy!owen with normal!tosh, like?? bc if adam!owen's love for tosh mirrors normal!tosh's love for him, then the way adam!tosh feels about adam!owen (aka, legitimate disgust + disdain) is Not a good sign for how normal!owen feels about normal!tosh. she's cruel to him in that ep, just like he's usually cruel to her, and it's just... eugh. i continue to be #1 towen critic. baffles me that the show was tryna pass them off as cute - baffles me that ppl FIND them cute. more about that when i talk abt my notps ig 😭

(adam cont.) and then i hated the jack plot, but that's a me thing bc i hate the gray arc. i also hated adam taking advantage of tosh. ianto's plotline was underwhelming to me, like ig it's cool i just haven't ever thought of it since i first saw it fff. i like the concept of the ep, i just disliked the execution. that being said - the scene where they're all gathered around the conference table haunts me. one of my favs.

then we have dead man walking, my beloathed. i like the resurrection scene itself, and gwen & owen's hug... and that's it. the rest is so ridiculous n bad n corny n an insult to owen 😭 and they MAJORLY flubbed the jack & owen scenes like they had sm potential to explore shit there n they DIDNT. unforgivable. the jail cell should've been fantastic n it's just... meh. i hate that ep it's laughable. there's some good shit sprinkled in but it's not explored, like owen would've been horrified at something possessing him n invading him, esp bc he has control issues - but they dont dwell on it. he WAS pissed off w jack for bringing him back - but they don't dwell on it. martha's clearly dealing w survivor's guilt, the team are experiencing loss, and none of that's properly touched. it's just. ugh. ill talk about some of this stuff more when i talk abt scenes i wish i could fix

my other one i dislike, although my grudge is less personal, is adrift. it's alright on its own, i just hate it being at the end of s2, when we only have two episodes left with tosh and owen. i feel like it was a prime time to do a tosh episode, because she was majorly underutilized as a character, like the show never prioritizes her (+ all her eps are romantic plots which annoys me personally. shes a fucking cyberterrorist why didnt we get an ep about that). i also hate that owen was deemed irrelevant after his undead arc. grr. i for one love gwen adventure eps (+ andy's in that one!!!! and rhys like im fond of all of them so i like those eps) it just feels like a missed opportunity to highlight one of them one last time. esp tosh. owen got enough attention gkfkgk

[thetorchwoodarchive]

[img Fics That Haunt You [text is in horror movie poster font] A Rec Fest for Fics You Can't Stop In the center on a black background is an image of team torchwood. To their left are transparent logos for watpad and fanfiction.net. To their right are transparent logos for live journal and ao3]

Fics that haunt you -- a mix of fan and mod recs. Thank you for everyone who sent fics in!

the hands on the clock keep ticking by violetmessages (JackIanto, GwenRhys | complete | 10235 | M)

They all knew it could happen to anyone. They’d all seen the proof. Even if it happened to a miniscule amount of the population, it was still a possibility. But they had grown complacent. They had forgotten that they too were also at the mercy of the Rift, that the Rift did not make an exception for those who knew its existence. They had forgotten until they were faced with it themselves. In which Gwen and Ianto get sent back to 1969 by the Rift.

Don't You Know For Years You've Haunted Me by virtualsilver (GwenRhys, JackIanto | complete | 12803 | T)

Gwen has inherited a recessive trait that has lurked in her ancestors' blood for generations: she is prescient. She can see flashes of where the timeline is heading and can feel when something - or someone - changes it. She tries to use her foreknowledge to change events for the better, but securing the outcome of her interventions proves to be a challenge.

I Sing the Body Electric by Paycheckgurl (OwenTosh, JackIanto | complete | 19069 | T)

In 2008, Team Torchwood investigates a series of robotics robberies. In an unknown time and place Ianto, Toshiko, and Owen wake up in a dark room. Their bodies seem to be strangely metallic. Which isn’t even the strangest development. The strangest development might be that they remember being dead. Or: Torchwood fix it. But they’re androids.

Separation Anxiety: The Continuing Adventures of Club Wales by pocky_slash (JackIanto, GwenRhys | complete | 43412 | NR)

In which Jack is out of town, Andy has a case for Torchwood, Rhys makes pack lunches, and Gwen and Ianto put their detective skills to work.

here is the deepest secret nobody knows by blackkat (JackIanto | complete | 9658 | E)

Ianto closes his eyes in Thames House, lungs full of choking alien gas, and opens them in his sister's house in Cardiff.

Management of Dead Bodies in Disaster Situations: A Field Manual by heddychaa (Gen | complete | 2193 | M)

Darragh Edmonds is a so-called "disaster specialist". Called to the site of tsunamis, earth quakes, floods, terrorist attacks, he takes up the grim task of putting order to human remains, and he does it well. Cleaning up after a biological attack on Thames House should make for a comparatively easy day for Darragh: after all, the bodies of Thames House have even been so considerate as to pile themselves right at the front door for him. That is, until he's sworn to secrecy and sent, alone, to collect two bodies from the building's eerie top floor.

Four, Five, Six by miss winterhill (JackIanto | complete | 1495 | M)

The corridor outside his thesis supervisor's office was cold, and he fought down the nausea that was threatening to overwhelm him. As he waited, he tried to read the notices that fluttered on the board. There was a room to rent in the lower fourth. Someone was offering tutoring in mathematics; that one half-covered a poster about drugs. DRUGS WILL RUIN YOUR LIFE, written in big frightening letters. Ugh.

And Indeed There Will Be Time by kaydeefalls (JackIanto | complete | 42433 | T)

In 1919, Harriet Derbyshire was killed while investigating the disappearance of Torchwood Four in Dublin. In 2009, UNIT pulls a dying man out of the Irish Sea with a one-word message: Torchwood. Martha joins up with Jack's team in Cardiff to track down the errant branch of the organization -- before a time-traveling race of aliens can change the course of history as we know it.

Day Tripper by Gement (JackBessie | complete | 2360 | M)

Bessie's like any other companion: far from home, more than she appears, and always up for an adventure. And Jack Harkness really will seduce anything that moves.

A Vision Too Removed To Mention by pocky_slash (Gen | complete | 13920 | T)

In which Ianto is stuck in a time loop that feels more like hell.

Three Years From Now by LibidineTertius (JackIanto | Complete | 1660 | T)

If Jack keeps his eyes shut (then he doesn't see). Also, sex. Lots of sex.

don’t make me kill you, darling by princessoftheworlds (Gen | Complete | 603 | T)

Javic Thane carries out his next Time Agency assignment.

Stars by DinoDina (JackIanto | Complete | 4020 | G)

The night after Owen first dies, there's a new star in the sky. It's not there the next night, or the next, and Jack knows he's distracted, but he can't answer when Ianto asks if he's okay. He's not.

Chosen Well by Waldo (LisaIanto, JackIanto | Complete | 1707 | T)

"All of the… modifications have been removed, but really, she should be cremated.  Just in case we're wrong."

Note to Self: You’re Going to Forget All This by heddychaa (JackIanto | Complete | 2254 | M)

Three thousand years later, Jack doesn't remember much about the leather strap he wears around his wrist;  all he knows is that the device inside it needs to be repaired as soon as possible. Every year that passes he finds himself forgetting more and more, his mind collapsing under the weight of his own prolonged existence. So he does his best to follow the clues his younger self leaves him in the hopes they'll lead him somewhere that makes sense again. For now, that means one date, expressed as coordinates: 2009-08-23.

Space Dementia by chagyu (JackIanto, JohnIanto, GwenRhys | Complete | 14799 | M)

Ianto and Jack seem to be drifting apart; the arrival of one Captain John Hart will either set them back on course or completely ruin them. Ianto's not so sure which, and frankly, if Jack keeps flirting with Gwen like that, he's preparing for the latter. Alternately, how Jack's ex-lover saves his current one.

These Happy Days by violetmessages (GwenRhys, JackIanto, GwenRhysJackIanto | Series | 22267 | G-T)

A series of non-chronological stories in which Ianto miraculously survives CoE in some fashion and Torchwood Three (plus Rhys and Anwen) settle down near the seaside. This series does not need to be read in order, or even in its entirety.

Janet’s Very Big Adventure by Beleriandings (Gen | Complete | 3290 | T)

One ordinary day, the wall of Janet's cell explodes.

yours was a heavy heart to carry by someawkwardprose (JackIanto | Complete | 2064 | T)

The thing about loving Jack is this: you cannot ever let him know.

Bad Case of Loving You by virtualsilver (JackIanto, SuzieMelody | Complete | 4891 | T)

The director of Torchwood One gets a call from Jack Harkness about some shady mind control program from the 1950s and has to go digging for old Torchwood secrets, only to find some unexpected revelations of a more personal nature along the way.

Happy Birthday, Ianto Jones by aliciajazmin (JackIanto, JackJohnIanto, GwenRhys | Complete | 693 | T)

Ianto Jones is a sim, and today is his birthday.

Finding Ianto by Blackbird Song (Blackbird_Song) (JackIanto | Complete | 14906 | G)

A long time ahead, in a space bar far, far away, Jack gets a message he didn't expect.

Bilis Manger, the Demon, and the River by aliciajazmin (AbaddonBillis | complete | 1181 | E)

Bilis Manger enlists the help of his crush to help him get across a river. This is a river that they can only wade through together.

Six of Swords by Jackdaw816 (JackIanto, OwenTosh | complete | 600 | G)

The Torchwood team, but with swords

World and Enough Time (Stories From the Loop) by Jackdaw816 (JohnIanto | complete | 7224 | M)

This time loop ain't big enough for the both of them

Jack Harkness' Sexy School of Shooting™ by violetmessages (JackIanto, Gwen&Jack | complete | 1214 | T)

Jack has an excellent idea but no one else seems to think it's good. Only one way to prove them wrong.

Smile Like You Mean It by egg_agemythrusters (JackIanto | complete | 622 | G)

Jack Harkness had a smile like no other.

Dead On Arrival by violetmessages (JackIanto, GwenRhys, Gwen&Ianto | complete | 13582 | M)

Ianto Jones wakes up. The only problem is, he's certain he was dead.

Hohnq by gwendolyncooper (JackIanto, John&Ianto | complete | 1911 | G)

It’s not really a normal day to walk into the Torchwood Hub and find a goose holding a knife, but it seems that’s the way Ianto Jones’ day is going to start.

Waking God by toldthestars (JackIanto | complete | 7692 | Not Rated)

Why are Ianto's dreams coming true? What's in the box with the symbol on it? Oh, and while we're at it, what's the meaning of the life?

keep your hand at eye level of your eyes by MonsterMince (GwenJohn | complete | 8331 | E)

Five years after the events of COE, Gwen still misses her team and what she had. It's not much of a life without them, and when Rhys takes Anwen away until Gwen's willing to move on, of course John Hart turns up with an offer that's too tempting to refuse: A way to raise Ianto from the dead.

left you both of the rings by princessoftheworlds (JackIanto | complete | 21188 | T)

Ianto and Jack are the dream couple—working side-by-side at Torchwood, protecting the world from alien threats alongside the rest of their team, living in domestic wedded bliss during their off hours. But when cracks begin to appear in the surface of Ianto’s perfect world, he’s forced to confront what he knows is real.

One Last Breath by Riennynn (JackIanto | complete | 3441 | Not Rated)

Yet another homicidal alien has Jack and Ianto trapped in an airtight storage locker. Jack has a plan to make sure they get rescued alive, but Ianto isn't going to like it.

Strayverse by NancyBrown (JackIanto, IantoOther(s) | complete, series | 93, 539 | Multiple Ratings; G-E) 

Amy recreated the universe and brought back the dead, but the dead don't fit there anymore.

Conditional Iteration by Beleriandings (Gwen&Ianto, JackIanto, GwenRhys, GwenIanto | series | 78, 082 | Multiple Ratings; G-E)

When Ianto dies on the floor of Thames House, time resets for him and Gwen. They soon realise that the two of them are stuck in a time loop, giving them another chance -- or as many chances as it takes -- to save the world's children from the 456.

it means something by MonsterMince (JackIanto, Gwen&Suzie, Jack&Owen, Jack&Tosh, Jack&Gwen | complete | 11316 | T)

Physically showing his team how much he cares about them is an HR nightmare, which is why Jack never passes up an opportunity to be a fake couple with his team. 5 times each member of the team had to pretend to be a couple with Jack, and one time the team pretended to be a polycule, featuring: Having fun with Suzie in couples' therapy; making an ex jealous with Owen; romancing Ianto in Serenity Plaza; taking a ballroom dance class with Tosh; and getting dressed with Gwen in hideously boring outfits picked out by Rex.

Herding Cats by blackkat (JackIanto, Non-Torchwood Ships | Series, complete | 8061 | G)

Ianto finds himself back from the dead and, apparently, in the position to double-cross a power-crazed Norse god intent on conquering the Earth by taking out a team of superheroes. Must be a Tuesday.

I just wanted you to watch me dissolve, slowly by MonsterMince (JackJohn | complete | 15417 | E)

If John had known the true cost he'd need to pay to cure Jack's immortality, he might not have paid it. (That's a lie.)

took a louisville slugger to both headlights by Flamingbluepanda (Implied Relationships | complete | 733 | G)

Ianto has a perfectly fine morning, then this happens

Jack VS the soul stealing toys by Flamingbluepanda (JackIanto | complete | 457 | Not Rated)

Ianto is king of the furbies

The Bad Neighbor by Firesnap (Gen | complete | 30576 | T)

Rhys Williams knows there's something wrong with his neighbor. It's a shame no one seems to be listening to him.

The Author, The Scribe, The Archivist by MonsterMince (JackIanto, Gwen&Team, Gwen&Ianto, Gwen&Jack | complete | 7530 | T)

The story of how Gwen Cooper helped Jack to never forget his team, with one scrapbook. (Or, Post-COE, Gwen finds Ianto’s scrapbook dedicated to Lisa, and sets about adding to it so she and Jack can remember him and the rest of their team. It works really, really well.)

Grief Lessons by elusive_eventuality (JackIanto | complete | 2936 | T)

"What groaning, what lament, what song of death, what dance of Hades shall I do?" ~ Euripides Or a CoE fix-it in five parts, one for every stage of grief.

A Tale of Two Universes by Paycheckgurl (JackIanto, LisaIanto, Gwen&Ianto, Ianto&Team, Ianto&Tosh, Yvonne&Ianto | complete | 2305 | T) 

In one universe Ianto Jones lives and in another he dies. Only it’s not quite that simple.

tell rock n' roll i'm alone again by paperclipbitch (OwenIanto, SuzieOwen, JackJohn, GwenRhys, ToshAdam | complete | 17055 | M)

Band!AU. In which Torchwood have just about made it though as it turns out that doesn’t fix anything, Owen would much rather punch Ianto than shag him (honestly), and absolutely everyone seems to be Jack’s ex boyfriend.

Caledfwlch by BricklingGhost (TeamGwenee) (JackIanto, GwenRhys, LisaIanto, OwenTosh, OwenKatie, Team | complete | 48456 | Not Rated) 

Jack has a lifetime ban from the afterlife for stealing, Owen's fiance is a right hag, Toshiko is playing children's games, Ianto has a vampire in the garden, and Gwen has a prophetic dog of death following her around for pets.

Everything I Know About the Earth by Sorrel (GwenOwen, GwenJack | complete | 16437 | M)

Spend too much time near the Rift, and who knows what might happen. Gwen's having strange dreams, and knowing things she couldn't possibly know. Things are about to change, and not really for the better. GwenOwen, implied GwenJack, mature.

Exhibit by Mirrankei (OwenTosh, JackIanto, | complete | 38701 | T)

Owen, Tosh, and Ianto find themselves kidnapped to the future. Stuck in space 2000 years in the future, they become part of an Earth exhibit in the station museum. But the portal that brought them is broken, and a visiting Time Lord smells a trap...

Unworn World by Amand_r, cruentum (JackJohn | complete | 10128 | Not Rated)

Jack thought that John'd been way too accommodating through this whole thing, and so he wasn't in the least surprised when the doctor told them that John was too far along in gestation for a procedure.

It Had to Be You by TheSigyn (JackIanto, JackJohn | complete | 12181 | M)

After the events of Children of Earth, Captain Jack runs to the only person who can help him; Captain John Hart. But this is not how John wanted it to be.

[aletterinthenameofsanity]

i am coming home to you (if it's the last thing that i do)

Jack Harkness x Ianto Jones. During Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Angst with a Happy Ending. Crossposted on ao3. Title is from “Sax Rohmer #1″ by the Mountain Goats.

"I came back for you," Jack says, looking straight at Ianto, and Ianto's heart seizes, beating out an irregular two-part beat in his chest. Then Jack glances to the rest of the group and Ianto's heart slows back into its usual disappointed rhythm. "All of you."

Ianto is used to being overlooked by Jack. He is used to being the second one chosen. He is used to being shunned by everyone on the team since everything that happened with Lisa. He is used to being forced back into the archives in favor of Gwen's leadership after Jack's appearance. He is used to being last needed, last appreciated, last loved. Not loved at all, in fact, not since Lisa left, no matter how tight Jack hugged him after waking up in the morgue. Jack only hugged him after hugging Gwen, who insisted on sitting by his side and letting no one near- Ianto was clearly never the priority then.

Of course Jack didn't come back for him. Why would he? Ianto was the man who betrayed him and Torchwood and the bed that he once shared with Jack in an effort to keep him from finding out about Lisa. He turned everything that Jack cherished into something vile. No matter what efforts Ianto has made since then, his sacrifices during the cannibal case, him standing up to his teammates when it came to opening the rift, he cannot make up for all of the hurt he caused.

But then, in the office, Jack asks him out on a date, in a fumbling, awkward way that Ianto has never seen the good Captain ask someone out in. Normally he's the suavest person in the room; right now, he feels more authentic than he ever has, something weary in his gaze, something jumbled in his tone.

And Ianto wants to say yes- he knows he's going to say yes- but somehow his brain is scrambling faster than his mouth because the words come tumbling out: "Did you come back for me? From wherever you went?" When Jack blinks, Ianto adds, in for a penny, in for a pound, "Be honest with me, Jack. I swear I won't judge you either way."

Jack's bright gaze fixes on Ianto, steady and examining and dangerous, always dangerous, but infinitely more tender than anything Ianto's seen from him, even back when they were still sleeping together. "I saw things while I was with my Doctor," Jack says, voice a low rumble, steady but quiet. "Many things. Bad things. And they made me realize that of all of the people in my current life, you are the one I would least like to live without."

The admission punches the breath from Ianto's lungs. He was Jack's priority? His reason to return? The first thought? The one person he would least like to live without?

The truth tumbles from Ianto's mouth without inhibition, loosened by pleasant shock and a reckless bravery and some small bit of codependent love: "I believe that the feeling is mutual, sir."

Jack smirks, that confident, mistaken for arrogant thing, that charming calling card that right here, right now, belongs to Ianto Jones. "Then that's a yes on the date?"

Ianto nods. "That's a yes, sir."

Jack steps forward, presses a kiss to Ianto's cheek, and says, "I can't wait to go on a real date with you, Ianto Jones." His eyes sparkle with that mad, dangerous, gorgeous mirth as he says: "But we've gotta get rid of my ex first."

Ianto offers Jack a small, sure smirk. "Why do I have the feeling that will be a reoccurring problem?"

"You willing to put up with it, Ianto Jones?"

Ianto shrugs, some bright thing buoying his chest as he jokes, sincerity bleeding through the teasing lilt in his voice: "We've all got our baggage, sir."

Jack offers out a hand and Ianto takes it. "That we do, Ianto." He jerks his head toward the door. "And now, we run."

They take off, and that thing buoying Ianto's chest rushes from his mouth, bubbling into excited laughter as their legs pound and their muscles burn and they save the world for the hundredth time and for here, for now, Ianto gets to have Jack Harkness singularly, selfishly, in all of his mad, brave, selfless, beautiful glory.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/45220966

[forabeatofadrum]

It’s Friday, innit? I am back with more reading!

Somebody Like You by @jayne89 had me weeping. Wow. This is definitely a different kind of fic. Blaine was married to Sebastian, but Sebastian died, and now he remarried Kurt. Sebastian leaves a message for Kurt and I was on the floor.

And just when I’m about to pick myself up, Kelly absolutely drop kicks me back to the ground with Broken Glass: Just A Little, which is the second part of the season 6 rewrite. Ouchies ouchies! I’m excited to see where it is heading.

Okay, let’s get off the angst train. Staircases by KCgleek on AO3 is a new fic by a new writer! I’m always excited when people join the fandom after its peak.

There is also some cool canon divergence in Just Married! Surprise! by Canttalkgrounded on AO3. I wish Klaine and Brittana had this kind of wedding instead of the canon one.

More cute stuff! @cerriddwenluna​ is writing a sequel to Swipe called When It’s Right, It’s Right. Yay! Gwen, I am obsessed with the series title being called Swiper, No Swiper!

@rockitmans​ also started a Valentine’s fic called Blaine Anderson vs. Valentine’s Day and it is off to a hilarious start. Blaine, you’re a freaking mess.

You know who else is a mess? Simon Snow in Prejudice, Jealousy & Things You Feel When You Don’t Know You’re Queer by @boyinjeans​. I am obsessed with Simon in this story. And how he realises he’s queer and goes “that makes sense, let’s kiss Baz”. Also, Basil, I recognise your AO3 name and icon from a comment you left!!1 WHAT’S POPPIN LGBTs!

I also read for not one but two (2) new fandoms this week! paint me in trust by @a-tiny-sloth is the first Radio Silence fic I’ve read. It’s a friendship fic and I am so happy! I looked into the Radio Silence tag as a preparation for my own Radio Silence fic and I am so glad I did.

I also stumbled into the Torchwood fic world! Wow! I never even watched Torchwood (long story)! I was scrolling through the Doctor Who & Related Fandoms tag to see how many people write The Sarah Jane Adventures fic (not many) and I saw the premise of For this Day, For this Moment by Lottiethroughthelookingglass on AO3. The first 6 chapters are up and it is so good! Jack and Ianto accidentally get a kid (look, it makes sense within the story) and UH OH what now?

Since we established last week that I count Zelda AUs as fanfiction, I cannot NOT mention everyone’s favourite dilf dadlink by @pluviatrix​. I am so obsessed with this AU. I even got a 69% score on the lore quiz (nice)! For the ones out of the know: the Legend of Zelda games are on one big confusing timeline that spans thousands of years. The reason there are so many Links and Zeldas and Ganons is because of a whole reincarnation thing bla bla what’s important to know is that this means that fans can also make their own AUs and their own Link, Zelda and Ganon. This one is basically two stories in one: Zelda and Link defeating The Big Bad (I support gay rights, I also support gay wrongs) and then Link quits at the ripe age of 20, has a one-fifth life crisis, and then has a kid with Pherse, only for more shit to happen and Pherse goes missing, so Link and his baby Fen need to find her. I love all the original characters (Ishka my beloved) and I specifically love the relationship between this Link and Zelda.

For non-fic news, I read I Wish You All The Best by Mason Deaver, in Dutch, and Maybe In Another Life by Taylor Jenkins Reid. Both were nice. I do not know how many fics I’ll read next week, because I borrowed 8 books from the library and I now have 17 books at home. We shall see.

[dang-dood]

my thoughts on doctor who characters and their opinions on barbie (my mental illness has reached its peak)

rose went to see barbie and she wore full pink and for sure cried because that disconnect in mothers she has had w/ jackie (mickey tagged along but like found himself in ken and so rose got grossed out and left him there and he went to see oppenheimer after) (jackie cried)

nine watched barbie but because rose made me, he actually liked it but did NOT wear pink. he went to watch oppenheimer after and threw popcorn when it was wrong

martha watched barbie and LOVED it she wore a pink top and expected it to be camp but cried (mother issues </3) and she kinda found similarities in ken and the doctor and she avoided analyzing that too deeply

donna wore so much pink for barbie and she fucking loved it she for sure cried (mother issues 3.0) she couldn’t stop talking about it for a week she loved the soundtrack and has at least one song on repeat. she almost punched the doctor when he said he was watching oppenheimer

jack would want to see oppenheimer but ianto wanted to see barbie so they went to barbie with gwen, tosh, and owen and tbh they had a group cry after and it’s all they talked about for the following week.

ten wanted to watch oppenheimer for the incorrect trivia but every one of his companions kidnapped him and so he watch barbie and he loved it but the way martha looked at him after left him shaking in his boots

amy wanted to watch oppenheimer but rory wanted to watch barbie (they went to see oppenheimer because rory would do anything for amy) they enjoyed it and after watched barbie because amy felt bad and tbh she liked it more but she wouldn’t admit it (mother issues 4.0)

river went to see indiana jones but also barbie and oppenheimer (over the course of a week or in one day vortex manipulator) she LOVED barbie indiana jones opened her up to phoebe waller bridge and she found fleabag… let’s just say “it’ll pass” left her thinking of the doctor…

eleven went to see indiana jones because it reminded him of river but after he went to oppenheimer and actually he got so mad at the incorrect things (it could’ve been one item and he would’ve still done this) he went back and talked to nolan himself eleven also watched barbie and he wore a pink bow tie and cried, he left feeling depressed because he over thought (also during oppenheimer he got bored so he for sure left in the middle of the movie) (also for barbie if he didn’t go on his own clara would’ve dragged him)

vastra and jenny both watched barbie and jenny loved it more but vastra loved it cause of how much jenny loved it

clara went to see barbie and LOVED it she wore a pink floral shirt (or skirt, i could see either one) and cried (mother issues what is this now 5?) but i also know she loved making her barbie’s kiss other barbie’s but also kens (me too) she also loved allen but because he looked goofy

bill went to see barbie and loved it SHE WORE A FULL PINK OUTFIT she loved it so much she begged the doctor to let her see it twice she wanted to fight ken and i know she would argue with anyone who had a shit opinion on the movie (she considered oppenheimer for florence pugh) [she also cried bc of mother issues]

twelve wanted to see none of them but got dragged to barbie by both bill and clara and he will NEVER admit it but he cried (he didn’t wear pink which almost got him smacked) he thought about that movie for weeks and even went back in time to be on set

yaz went to see barbie and cried (mother issues how many more can we get) and she definitely wore a pink outfit. she was so excited for this movie she made the doctor bring her to the future to see it (she went again with her sister and they cried together)

ryan went to see barbie and wore a pink shirt OR dressed as ken (cried mommy issues AGAIN) he really enjoyed it and i know he thought about what his ken would be like after the movie

graham went with ryan and yaz after yaz begged for them to go and he liked the film (he wore a pink hat idk why) and he is VOCAL about his opinions but like not in a bad way, he listens to feedback for different opinions and he has the mentality of “it wasn’t meant for me was it”

thirteen watched barbie with yaz on a date and loved it, she watched barbie grow up when visiting earth and was always fascinated by them, she has a few barbie’s somewhere in the tardis and even went back and bought a few after watch the movie (she bought allen and she also bought yaz a very limited barbie… well i say bought…)

simms!master watched oppenheimer because barbie was too bright in his opinion, he laughed during oppenheimer.

missy watched both oppenheimer and barbie, season eight missy would’ve liked oppenheimer more because it gave her ideas. season ten missy? she LOVED barbie the depth in character + finding your own purpose resonated so well with her and she cried even if she would never admit it

dhawan!master loved barbie IDCC look he made oppenheimer for thirteen like he didn’t need a 2for1 deal. he resonated so hard with barbie and the mother issues (but it’s the older timelord shunning him for the problem they caused) like yeah he was frothing at the mouth holding back tears. the whole “what is my purpose” feeling pre-blowing up galifrey probably would’ve left his ass question if he was making a bad decision. he considered seeing oppenheimer but heard it’s as three hours and got mad so he just read the wiki to it and still got bored

[javic-piotr-thane]

oh interesting! i can’t read books at the moment so i havent read any of them. that makes a lot of sense ab leadership. i like my little hc that they made it more communist - ianto did behind the scenes stuff/correspondence w thr queen etc, tosh was coordinating from the hub, & then the other two also pitched in for other causes (nice and vague, well done me hahah). i actually wondered when i rewatched KKBB if they had spread out the leadership & then the writers were like ‘haha nope!’. ive read a lot of nice ianto takes over fics which is probably swaying me a bit lol

i actually dont mind broken! its a bit strange but i think it fits well enough. its more that i dislike that it (kind of) limits the options for fan-decisions on when they sleep together first. while lots of people are happy to wiggle canon about and create wonderful new things, lots more tend to stick w canon as is (or major points) and i think defining when they first sleep together gives it a bit more weight and impact (even belatedly) on the episodes (& fanworks). i mostly enjoy the plotline otherwise (although the sleeping together did catch me off guard the first time!)

thats true about fandom shaping it. i am still very much on the fringes - i think i follow you & perhaps one other tw blog - just because i find fandom a lot of stress and i’m in my early 30s so lots are younger - but i’m working my way through the available fic (well, mainly the ones on ao3 ik there are many on LJ that i am gonna have more trouble finding later lol) and that probably is shaping my view of characters. some more than others, i suppose. but i have been finding a lot of ooc representations (for me) which makes me think perhaps theres a fandom-intent on portraying them. i cant quite word this!

i’ll do a comparison - i consumed a lot of HP fanfiction, it was my main fandom for fics for a lot of years, and my first fic ever. and now i cant tell you for certain which portrayals are true to canon, and which are based in fanon. because i stopped engaging w canon (for many reasons including the most obvious) and now i’m left wondering - eg was that how neville was in the books or is that how fandom has shaped canon into their own desires and interpretations. and thats not to say thats a negative! because i think fanon is incredible. but i do wonder when i read a fic without that background, without the decade of engaging in fanfic as it shifted, if i am reading it as OOC when it’s actually in character for the fanon version of the character.

i hope that makes sense, i have a lot of trouble with coherence lol

you're making sense!! this is a problem ("problem") for many fans i think, which is why engaging with the source material (when possible/comfortable, obviously, i know which situation you're referring to) can be important if you really want to keep your interpretations close to canon. (you might not want that, or not care, at least in particular instances; something something Sherlock actually makes 100% of the tea on the show with his name and not John.)

as for fic that feels OOC to you; if you don't like it, i recommend you learn to spot it early and avoid it. simple as that. god knows i went through that phase in my early time in this fandom XD you have to read a bunch to figure out what you like and don't like in the first place, i think, but after a while it tarries out and might only shift slightly afterwards - and you know what to avoid and what to seek out.

[lesbiten]

another part of the cyberman thingies on the torchwood website that KILLS me is like. the guy is like there will be drugs right there HAS to or ill die of pain or something BUT THEN THERE WASN'T and he only realizes later that there WERE drugs but all they did was make emotions difficult

YEAHHH YEAH its definitely like........GOD. i dont even have words i just. robotte..........

[lilium-valley]

And finally, a post introducing Farmer Lily and Ronnie! 🎵🐥💫

I had loads of fun doing the sprites, and I am happy to finally introduce you my ocs in a more proper way! If you want to read a little bit more about them, and find more useful reference links, everything is in read more! template by Iantos

Farmer Lily (Lily D'Amore) * Farmer Lily is a cheerful young adult, usually bubbly, handy and loud. She's sunny and has a big heart. Her date of birth is Fall 01. She wasn't having a happy life, so she dropped out of engineering university to inherit Grandpa's Farm, PiuPiu Farm, right when things were getting very thought in her life. She firmly believes it was her fate, she is convinced that her beloved Grandpa, who she loved unconditionally, choose her to inherit the farm, instead of her brother, so she could live a happy life too. Life in Stardew Valley isn't easy, and things don't follow the path she expected, but she has the support of some new friends in the Valley and the one of her brother, in Zuzu City. She is mysterious about sharing details of her life before the farm, so you won't really catch her oversharing on the topic. * Her dog is a Golden Retriever named Biagio, and she has a Morgan horse named Tiramisu. * She loves battery packs, pizza and gold bars. She likes sunflowers, fruit salads, honey and oranges. * She hates beer, wine and Joja Cola. She dislikes coffee, hot peppers, octopus and holly. * Her spouse is Shane, who she married on Summer 14. She becomes close with Sam, Emily, Alex and Robin. Ronnie (Ronnie D'Amore * Ronnie is an over the top, charismatic and noisy young adult. He is extravagant, bold, but has a very kind and friendly heart. His date of birth is Summer 20. While his parents had other plans for him, as to make him a doctor or an engineer, he left his parent's house at a very young age and became self-made. Time to conquer Zuzu City! He became a successful beauty-guru at a young age, and now has a hair salon franchise all over the City. He's one of the best at what he does, and he has easily become an influencer. He arrives in the Valley for her sister's wedding, and decides to take a short break there, spending some quality time with his sister and his brother-in-law. Furthermore, he gets fascinated by the Valley, particularly by the Calico Desert and its villagers. * He has three dogs: two Bernese named Bruno and Guido, and one cocker spaniel named Dolce. * He loves pizza, rubies and wine. He likes diamonds, oranges, void eggs and duck feathers. * He hates green algae, beer and sea cucumbers. He dislikes Joja Cola, octopus, pickles and rice pudding. * He develops feelings for Sandy, who has the same feelings for him, and they become a couple. In the Valley, he becomes friends with Emily, Haley and Elliott. He... knows Mister Qi? How weird... More references: [ outfits | backstory event | friendship template ]

[doctorwhoexpandeduniverseprompts]

Torchwood Prompt:

An alien has invaded the Torchwood team, and is slowly but surely turning the team against Jack, poisoning their minds--

Except its not by building mistrust in Jack because of his mysterious past, or the knowledge of the future he refuses to reveal.

It's not by blaming Jack for not being able to magically stop all the world's atrocities by virtue of his presence.

It's not by mind-controlling the team either, or manipulating them and erasing their memories with Retcon.

It's by.... fostering a healthy work environment, and doing team building exercises and giving everyone a chance to actually calm down and chill out and and avoid a breakdown by giving them someone to talk to, properly, about the horrors they face every day, instead of bottling it up with no release except to vent the toxicity at their coworkers during a crisis when the pressure gets too high.

It's by publicly confronting Jack about his sexual harassment of Ianto in front of everyone, so that everyone (other than Ianto) realizes that's literally what Jack has been doing and it's not a joke.

Owen gets confronted about how he treats the others too, in a private conversation, and it only takes a few examples and bringing up Owen's experience with the ghost machine as well as pointing out the horrors Ianto lived through with Torchwood 1 to have his "safe deskjob" at Torchwood 3, to make Owen realize just how much he's fucked up and how much he's hurting the only people he can call friends.

Long story short, the team actually develops healthy friendships and comradery that's not purely forged in the fires of hell via horrific experiences together saving the Earth-- and Jack is left to confront himself about when he stopped caring about the people under his care.

"What about Suzie, huh Jack? Do you think she would have done the things she did, if she didn't feel so alone, so helpless? She was your second in command, but you didn't even notice when she was dying inside, killing herself over the things she saw and experienced here. Did you ever try to talk to her, or even let her talk to you? Or did you just brush her off? Assume that because "she's not a kid", that "she could handle it" the way you insisted the rest of your team could take the abuse from each other without your interference? You're their leader Jack, that means you're responsible for them when they're under your care!"

[thetorchwoodarchive]

can you help me find a fic?

im pretty sure its a wip on ao3 and in the fic owen and jack went alien hunting and it went wrong, jack got injured and dying, he asks owen for a kiss. owen whos already undead kiss jack as he die then he finds himself alive, can feel the rain and his own heartbeat and such, but only for as long as jack remains dead.

pretty sure in the chapter after that owen wanna try and kiss jack again without jack dying to see if it works. it didnt, ianto saw the kiss, owen left the hub for ianto and jack to fight it out.

i hope you can find it. thanks

Hi nony! We're really sorry for the delay on this ask. The mods wracked our brain trying to see if we had heard of this fic or could find it on ao3 or even ff.net, but we had no success.

So we're opening up this ask to our followers to see if anyone else has heard of this fic and could help this user out! Good luck!

[angstea]

I Can't Really Think Right Now In This Place

Fandom: Torchwood

Ship: Janto

TW: Sensory overload

Summary: Ianto gets overwhelmed at Gwen and Rhys's wedding

AN: Writing for a different fandom! :D

Also Jack may be slightly OOC since I don't know his character that well.

Read on AO3

Jack held Ianto's hands gently as they moved across the dance floor together, their fingers intertwined.

Ianto didn't feel okay though. Jack's hands in theirs made their palms itch, they kept bumping into people with how crowded the dance floor was and the lights were burning into their skull and making their head spin along with the noise.

They screwed their eyes shut and tucked their face between Jack's neck and shoulder, hands tugging free of his in favour of wrapping their arms around him.

"Ianto..?" Jack asked softly as his now free hand lifted Ianto's head from its hiding place, only for Ianto to desperately shake their head and hide it away again.

"T - Too much..." they managed to choke out before tears started to fall, soft barely audible sobs muffled into Jack's shirt.

The captain started pushing his way through the crowd, keeping his partner close as he lead them to the exit. The pair made their way outside the building where Jack took off his coat, wrapping it around Ianto's shoulders as he waited for the other to stop crying.

When their sobs died down, Jack gently wiped their tears away with his thumb.

"Better?" he asked, voice still soft and quiet. He got a nod in response and he smiled.

"Can we wait until most of them have left?"

"Yeah, of course we can."