#ITS GOING SO SO SO WELL SO FAR IM SURPRISED TBH

[kissingarthurclaus]

GUESS WHO'S FUCKING!! WORKING ON ANOTHER ANIMATIC!!!

AND COOKING HARDER THAN EVER!!!!

[cowboy-robooty]

physically holding back my rage when i go get my weekly uchuujin no kakushigoto update and see people bitchin and moaning about it. I WANT TO HURT YOU AND IM NOT FUCKING AROUND. YOU SHOULD HAVE BEAR MACE SPRAYED IN YOUR EYES SINCE YOU OBVIOUSLY HAVE NO FUCKING APPRECIATION FOR GOOD LITERATURE. S2G SHUT YOUR DUMBASS UP BEFORE I GO AHEAD AND SLICE OFF ALL YOUR FINGER TIPS TOO AND PUT YOUR TONGUE IN A BAG CORPSE PARTY STYLE CUZ YOUR OPINIONS ARE ACTIVELY MAKING SOCIETY WORSE.

[phagodyke]

i will ALWAYS be salty abt the ed-sheeranification of one ok rock (one of my fave personality-building anecdotes i explain at parties to ppl getting to know me) but the fact is that takas voice is soooo hot he could sing the words on the back of a milk carton to the tune of a t*ylor sw*ft song + id probably still listen to him. sorry

[loveywon]

♡𓂃 ALWAYS BE HERE !

part 2 of START NOW !

pairing: jungwon x gn!reader

synopsis: after being stuck with jungwon in a new and unfamiliar world, you start developing newfound feelings about him.

wc: 4.0k+

warnings: fluff! there’s a baby, one (1) mention of throwing up, the fluff in this is so sickening seriously i feel gross, i think that's it tbh, not proofread as per usual

a/n: surprise!! thank you guys sm for 800 notes on my first fic, im literally experiencing whiplash from it. hope this was written well to your likings, i love you all and thank you guys again<333.

you feel like you’ve been slapped in the face. 

jungwon has basically adapted the routine within the first week, between taking care of the kid that is apparently yours and his job that he only found out two days ago because he got a call saying “you’re gonna get fired if you keep skipping work like this” from sunghoon. with a look at his checking account, his eyes almost popped out of his head with how much money was in there. when he showed you, you simply shrugged. of course jungwon was going to be successful, with how his high school life is (now, was), he’s bound to live a fulfilling life. he’s taken aback by your nonchalance to the money in the account, and you have to swallow your pride down to admit vocally to him that you always admired his dedication to the academic school life. 

speaking of, you found yourself swallowing your pride often. almost too often, you think, but you feel like its character development, or at least it’s what jungwon says. he’s done a great job at making sure you’re not too overwhelmed in this new life that you two have to adapt, and you feel kind of bad that you’re not really doing much with helping out. you do try, really! it’s just the fact that not being around kids often is a tad bit hard and being thrown into a situation where you have one of your own is more difficult than you thought it would be. jungwon does a great job at teaching you the basics, and he always reassures you that you’re doing great with the baby, even if it’s just holding her or feeding her. 

you also find yourself being more open with jungwon. it still feels foreign, and you always hesitate still and almost back out often times, but you’re determined to stick to your promise and to at least try, because jungwon has been nothing but an angel to you ever since, and the newfound realization that he has been pining for you this entire time makes you want to try harder for him. you’ve confided in him and you start to feel more safe around him as well, and admittedly, it’s something you never thought would happen, but when jungwon tells you every moment that has made him fall harder for you, you start to feel fuzzy and warm, even giggling a little. jungwon feels over the moon, like he’s absolutely won at life. he doesn’t want to leave. 

on the other hand, you want to leave. as cute as the baby is and nice the house is, something is still off and you don’t know how jungwon does everything so naturally and pretends like everything is so normal when it’s so far from reality. neither of you have figured out how the two of you got here, because there was quite literally nothing to go off of. every night you wonder if you’ll ever be able to go back to high school, but now you’re letting yourself fall into the daily routine you and jungwon curated. 

the sunlight shines through the blinds, and you’re already awake. every morning feels like deja vu, and you’re not used to sleeping on a foreign mattress. jungwon lays on the floor beside you, a blanket wrapped around him like a burrito. he insisted on sleeping on the floor because he didn’t want to pressure you, even though you assured him it was fine, but he still was stubborn and laid out his own makeshift bed beside you. it’s a sweet gesture, you think, and every night you invite him to sleep up on the bed because it can’t be comfortable to sleep on the floor, but he still refuses and makes himself comfy. 

you lean down, poking his shoulder. he stirs, but he’s still asleep. you smile slightly at his cute sleeping state, but you slap a hand over your mouth when you catch yourself. something you’re not used to is smiling at something whenever jungwon does something because you’re normally grimacing in disgust. you decide to let him sleep in and try to take care of the baby yourself since he’s been doing everything lately. he must’ve been so exhausted, and you feel yourself frowning. 

you roll yourself out of bed, making your way to the baby’s room. she blinks her eyes open as soon as she hears the door knob turn, and she reaches her small arms out for you. “hi, sweetheart, had a good sleep?” you ask, even though you know you’ll only get random babbles as a reply. you tickle her side and she giggles. you feel a fuzzy feeling again, and you admire the baby for a few minutes. one thing that ‘future you’ didn’t put in the scrapbook was the baby’s name, so you and jungwon refer to the baby as the baby. it feels almost too adulting to give the baby a name, so honestly you’ve been avoiding it but jungwon doesn’t bring it up either so you assume it’s mutual. you go over to the little counter by the wall and start making the baby’s milk, remembering what jungwon had taught you last week. pouring the milk into the baby bottle, you walk back to the crib and pick the baby up, opting to sit on the carpeted floor and feeding her the bottle. you smile as you simply look at her, almost fondly but it’s still off. 

jungwon walks in, rubbing his eyes groggily. he woken up not too long ago, and upon not seeing you in the bed, he almost panics. he thought you somehow had went back to high school or something, and he was just left here. he sighs in relief when he heard the milk machine stir loudly from the baby’s room. after his vision’s finally clear and sees you feeding the baby, he matches your smile and sits down on the floor across from you. the only reason why he has not brought up the baby’s name is because you haven’t, and he thinks he knows you enough to know that you’re not used to this new world, and he also knows its scary to put a label on things and naming the baby feels almost too official, like the two of you are stuck here. but jungwon doesn’t feel stuck, and he almost feels content in this new life. he has you now, with him, what more could he ask for? just like you, he wonders if you two will ever go back. but he’s more worried if you’ll still try to reciprocate his feelings for you if you two go back, and if you will forget everything that happened in this life. he’ll go back to square one, and he’s not sure if he can go through it again. although if it’s for you, he knows he’ll go through hell and back if it meant being with you. 

he leans forward a bit to watch the baby drink from her bottle, and your gaze changes from the baby to jungwon. it’s a quiet moment, no things are spoken between the two of you and it’s definitely less awkward than it would have been a week ago. silence is now comfortable to you, which is very odd considering you hate any silent moments and you always have to break the silence whenever it happens. “she is so cute,” jungwon whispers, but still loud enough that you can hear. you nod in agreement, she really is cute, and she took a lot of features from jungwon. the resemblance is almost uncanny and you think it was obvious from the start that the baby is definitely jungwon’s. the baby finishes her bottle and pops it out of her mouth, and jungwon takes it to the built in sink on the counter to wash it. she’s dozing off in your arms, and you swear you almost loudly coo at her but you catch yourself in time. you stand up and lay her down gently in the crib as jungwon finishes washing the baby bottle. 

you two make your way downstairs and you sit down on the kitchen island with the scrapbook laid out in front of you. this would make it the second time you’ve looked through the book, and you wonder if you missed anything from the first time you flipped through it. jungwon busies himself with the stove, preparing breakfast for the both of you. you lean your head on one hand, opening up the scrapbook. you don’t remember ever picking up the hobby of scrapbooking, but then again, it feels like you’ve aged ten years, and a lot of things can change in ten years. you also think a lot of things can change in a mere week. 

as you continue to flip through the pages, you stop at a page that had pictures of you and jungwon in front of different landscapes around the world. it’s secretly your favorite page because you’ve always wanted to travel, so to know that you did, even if you don’t recall, it makes you feel a little giddy. maybe when you go back home, you’ll get to experience it. as you’re scanning through the pictures, one of the tapes keeping the pictures on the page loosens up, and you try to fix it until you see handwriting on the back. you furrow your brows in confusion, taking the entire tape off and flipping the picture over. the entire scrapbook didn’t have any writing, so seeing something written on the back was new to you. and not only was it your own handwriting, but what was written on it gave you goosebumps. you always felt odd about this entire situation, even though it was quite obvious that you’re currently in the future, it was just the question of why and how. 

‘you’ll be here one day! 2/17/2034’ 

you flip the photo back around and messily tape it back onto the scrapbook page before shutting it and shoving it to the side. you try your best to think nothing of it, and it could mean literally anything if you think about it deep enough, right? wrong, you frown. it’s too oddly specific, and it’s like you knew that you want to experience traveling. you stare off into space, your bottom lip capturing between your teeth. jungwon finishes cooking, and he places a plate in front of you before taking a seat beside you. he looks at you when you don’t make a move to eat, leaning forward to see your face. he waves a hand in your face, calling out your name. you snap out of it again, and you shake your head. “sorry,” you mumble, grabbing the fork he gives you and taking a bite out of the eggs. “mm, this is so good! seriously, how did i not know you can cook like this?” you turn to him, quickly changing the topic before he could ask what was wrong. you know that you’re technically hiding and guarding yourself again, but you let yourself just this once because you’ve convinced yourself that you’re only inconveniencing jungwon with your thoughts. 

he shrugs, “because you always fought with me back then?” he answers obviously, and you let out a silent “right”. the week has felt like an entire year so you almost forget that you literally hated him just a week ago. “sorry. but you know, why didn’t you ever clear up the misunderstanding with me? we could have been friends then,” you ask, it’s simply out of curiosity because it’s not like it would have changed anything now. he shrugs again, “i don’t think you would have listened to me, to be honest. you probably would’ve death glared at me and killed me with silence… and i guess i was just content with you bickering with me because you were still talking to me. i don’t know if you still would’ve talked to me if i cleared it up, and i still want to talk to you.” he replies, smiling more to himself because he thinks it’s kind of funny. 

“ohh. that’s fair, i guess. i probably wouldn’t have talked to you if you cleared it up, to be honest as well. would have moved on with my life and not think twice about it,” you shrugged, continuing to eat your breakfast. you always play the nonchalance role, but jungwon always has a way with his words that make butterflies flutter in your stomach and it almost makes you feel queasy even. “but, i still want to talk to you too.” you smile at him, and he returns your smile. he thinks you’ve definitely put in effort with tolerating him, because a week ago you probably would’ve spilled your guts if you heard what he said, and he appreciates your efforts. he’s still not really expecting an ‘i like you back’ from you, he still thinks its unrealistic. it doesn’t mean he’ll stop trying and vying for you. 

you finish your plate and grab jungwon’s empty plate to the sink to wash, and he watches idly since the baby is still asleep and there isn’t much to do. you think jungwon’s already used to the new life, but you really couldn’t be more wrong. he’s used to taking care of himself already, which is why it comes to natural to him, but he’s really not used to the whole thing of you being nice with him and the fact that there is a baby in the room above that is his. his baby, your baby. he gets fuzzy thinking about it, which is why he thinks he’s trying his best to take care of the baby with little to no experience. his cousins are the closest thing to experience he has. 

once you finish with the dishes, the two of you silently make your way onto the couch. it’s not really awkward silence, as again, you feel more comfortable around jungwon now. but you’ve been itching to ask him the question that you think about every night, and you think that it’s been an entire week; he must want to go home, right? so you ask, “hey, jungwon?” he perks his head up at your voice, wide eyes giving you his full attention and you melt a little bit unknowingly. “do you know…if we’ll ever go back?” you question and his brows raise in response. he purses his lips into a thin line, breaking eye contact with you to think. he knows his answer is something you don’t really want to hear, but he wants to be honest with you. 

“no… or well, i don’t know. but it’s not so bad here, is it? i think it’s kind of nice…” he answers you, but his voice fades out towards the end of his sentence because he knows you disagree. he sees the way you lie awake in bed, silently hoping to wake up to your childhood bed and return back to high school normally. you, however, don’t expect his answer. yes, it it’s not bad here. but you really miss home and your high school friends, and you feel like you’ll never be used to this new life that you and jungwon were thrown into. you don’t respond to him, and you slump into the couch a little bit. he meets your eyes again, and even though you’re looking straight ahead and not him, he slumps with you and leans a little bit towards you. his scent fills your senses, and if he didn’t smell so good you definitely would have pushed him away immediately. but it’s jungwon, so you don’t. 

he blows your hair in a playful manner, and it sticks to your face annoyingly. “hey!” you laugh as you push hair out of your face, finally meeting his gaze. he gives you a smile that you know and love, a smile that makes you forget what the two of you were talking about earlier. “even if we don’t get out of here, i’ll still be here for you,” he says sincerely, and you know it’s sincere with the way his eyes shine as he looks at you with so much admiration that it makes you feel like jello. you don’t doubt his words for a second, so you nod, giving him a slight smile. “thank you. me too, even though i know i don’t really do much around here,” you mumble, pouting slightly because you feel bad for him taking most of the responsibilities and setting aside his worries for taking care of you and the baby. 

jungwon simply shrugs, “you being here is enough for me.”

another two long days pass, and you’re snuggled up next to the baby in the master's bedroom where you and jungwon sleep. you and the baby are both fast asleep, even though you tried to stay awake until jungwon got home from his work. you’ve stayed up the past week whenever he’d go to work, but you suppose the sleepless nights have finally caught up to you. jungwon announces that he’s home from downstairs, and is appalled to not see you watching television or something in the living room. he assumes something is happening with the baby upstairs, so he quickly rushes up the steps and enters the baby’s room to only find neither of you there. he panics a little, and it feels a little bit like deja vu when you weren’t in bed that one morning. he prays that you didn’t find a way to leave, somehow taking the baby with you. he rushes to your shared bedroom, only opening the door to see you and the baby cuddled up together, eyes closed in a slumber. 

he thinks he must’ve done something in his past life to get such a beautiful sight in front of him, with his own eyes. 

he smiles at the two of you, before deciding to change into clean clothes so he can join you two in the bed. he decides, for just this once, he’ll let himself be selfish and enjoy this domestic moment. you feel the bed dip beside you, and it stirs you awake. you turn around, only to meet the soft eyes of jungwon. “i’m sorry, did i wake you?” he asks quietly, careful to not wake the baby up. you shake your head, “it’s okay. how was work?” you whisper back, and this conversation feels so real, it’s so domestic and you feel sick. mentally, the two of you are still teenagers so even having this conversation feels so surreal and you don’t know if you like it or not. you do know, however, that you like jungwon. you feel pushed to your limit, and everything that has happened made you realize a few things about yourself that you didn’t know before. you couldn’t ask for anyone better to be stuck with. 

“it was alright. are you tired?” he replies. his voice is laced with such genuine concern for you, and you can’t help but bury your head further into the pillow and towards his chest. jungwon’s taken aback slightly with this change of position, but he doesn’t show it, or at least you choose to not point it out. “i like you, so much. it makes me feel physically sick, not gonna lie.” you confess suddenly in a quiet whisper, and this time, it’s obvious that jungwon is shocked. if it weren’t for the silent white noise of the air conditioning and nothing else, he would have missed what you said but the words ‘i like you’ rings in his head and he has to remind himself that the baby is still sleeping beside the two of you. his absence in words make you feel even more sick; did his feelings for you disappear? you can understand it, if that’s the case. being stuck with someone for more than a week makes it easier to stop liking someone. you fear that’s what happened. 

“i literally can’t even believe this right now,” he whispers under his breath, and your head shoots up to look at him. his eyes are brighter than ever, you think it’s brighter than the sun and you can’t look away. “i like you too — even though you already know…but i like you so much too. sorry i make you sick. i’ll always be here to make you feel better, though!” he assures with a sweet, toothy smile. you hate him so much. you don’t understand how he was able to change your feelings about him into a complete 180 degrees, and yes you’re complaining about it but you secretly thank whoever put you both into the future. 

“ugh, you’re disgusting. please kiss me now.” you grin, and he grins back until both of your lips meet in a soft peck. it’s sweet and innocent, and it’s more than what jungwon and you could ask for. “you have no idea how long i’ve been waiting for this moment,” jungwon says cheesily, and you roll your eyes. you make another comment about how those words are so gross but you know you felt a part of you melt. the two of you soon fall into a blissful sleep, wrapped around each other’s arms. it doesn’t occur to either of you that it’s the first time you’re sharing the bed with jungwon, but it doesn’t matter because the next morning when you wake up, it feels like it’s the best sleep you’ve ever had in your life. 

a blaring alarm wakes you up, and when you open your eyes, you find yourself in your own bed again, in your parents house. you rush to get out of bed, checking your mirror, only to see the teenager version of you once again. you smile to yourself, touching your face and you’re relieved. but the feeling is quickly set aside when jungwon crosses your mind again, and you pick up your phone to text him. you then realize you don’t have his number, because you literally hated him. you suck in a breath and decide to get ready for school, because it’s the only way you’ll be able to see him. if you do. 

you put on the first thing you see in your closet, rushing down the stairs and your parents don’t even spare a glance at you, just a “good morning sweetie!”, as if time didn’t pass when you were in a different time. you speed walk to school, and the halls are already all crowded with students talking and walking to their first class of the day. your friend greets you, but you don’t really pay much attention to what they’re talking about, and you ask them, “where’s jungwon?” they give you an odd look, “why’re you looking for him? didn’t you literally tell him that ‘anyone who has to wake up next to him is the unluckiest person ever to exist’ just yesterday?” they quote you, and you roll your eyes, waving them off. “doesn’t matter. have you seen him?” you brush it off, but when you turn your head to the left you see the boy you’ve been looking for. “never mind. gotta go, see you!” you say goodbye to your friend, who is only left staring blankly at your running figure. 

“jungwon!” you say his name as you’re making your way towards him, and his eyes meet yours. it’s only been a night, and you’ve never missed someone this much before. he smiles upon seeing you, and the two of you meet in a hug. “how did we get back?!” you ask ecstatically, but you honestly don’t care about how. you’re just happy that you’re both back with newfound perspectives of each other. he shrugs his shoulders and laughs, “i don’t know! i guess a kiss solves everything?” he jokes and makes puckering lips to you. you scrunch your nose up, holding your hand in front of his face as you feign disgust. “shut up, i hate you,” you mumble. 

you both know it’s a lie. 

taglist!: @hafsa-hoofsa-heefs @hyunes4ngel

[ihaveforgortoomany]

Yapping about 2.2 CN livestream yippee

Disclaimer:

(Does not surprise me that the characters are white, Bluepoch is a CN company and with the gap between Global and CN versions they are more likely to cater to CN audiences than Global. Hyping R1999 as good rep with only one patch and three characters was setting up expectations. If anything we had a higher chance of getting poc characters in this patch, and only a higher chance.)

The release being just after Natlan was horrible timing tbh. Am I disappointed? yes. Surprise? no. This was the more likely outcome and after oh boy the reception will be for the patch Bluepoch should rethink future patches. People have the right to complain about this patch and Bluepoch should learn from this.

Alright other bits:

(Us getting to Brazil this quickly is probably due to Red-38, Lilya did cross the Aegean Sea in 1.9 and I think 2.1 shows it got upgraded)

Oh lawd Vertin suffering immediately, jesus being choked to death oh wow were not holding punches, you can see her actually pass out lawd. We literally cannot leave Vertin alone before someone attempts to murder her. She's already burnt her finger (thats minor), had someone reshow her trauma and now being choked to death and its only the third patch. How is she alone? With the officer maybe or spots Kimberely and chases after her/ gets cut off to end in this situation? Is this near the end of the patch story maybe? Im guessing the spy Igor talks about is that guy or he is working with the spy.

Last time Vertin was completely alone: Oranges scene with Arcana, Tuesday and the illusion and now this.

Kimberely being playable (I saw that post earlier on who she is based on why did it not click) is pretty cool, another singer character is nice. This is the literal reverse of the oranges scene with a better outcome. (Ms Grace is an engima pun intended, where is she? Shes the one Kimberely is following after so probably may hunt her or even Vertin directly)

Sophia being the leader of the new Manus interesting (I wanna see where they will go with her) (so far everyone thinks Arcana is dead but Druvis)

Lopera probably is gonna need to grow on me, so far not much (the others like Mr Duncan and the Awakened character I forgot their name drew me more), we got that Manus guy who the PV focused on probably conflict in that.

Having an Awakened similar to A Knight is a win (such a cool design)

Mr Duncan seems like a fun character (like Lopera I need a bit more)

The story being focused on Zeno is interesting (I guessed right that Zeno will get focused on in these patches) Hopefully we may get more characterisation of Lilya this time.

Sotheby potentially getting a new mentor figure from Me Duncan in that one frame like Mr Karson would be interesting.

Urd/Martha/ Bessmert is here! Deffo shes gonna pick up Vertin after she passes out, likely looling after her until she wakes up and disappears or somethin. (Vertin is gonna have questions she saw Martha disappear in the 1914 why is she here?) (Also yep deffo her mom or a relative, their hair colour looks identical)

Skins!!! Shamane, Vila and Marcus!! I don't have Shamane but Im so close to not being f2p with Vila and Marcus. Look how happy Marcus is! 37 ult looks amazing as well. So many skins this time around.

The suitcase lobby! It can change! Its so pretty! O wonder if in future patches we may get other designs, like Vienna for example?

(Candy crush lol)

The greater question is if this Chapter will be one arc or span multiple patches like the latter half of the 1.0 story?

[wereprinxe]

welcome back to jax rambles about their personality swap au that they wanna write about more aka third time's charmn

Jax's Personality Swap AU

by some accident i added Blake to the pipeline, while he was supposed to be in a different group and i dont wanna fix it right now and tbh, i like the one w blake's personality, so enjoy!

Pipeline: Geordi > Aaron > Guy > Anton > Blake > James > Marcus > Geordi

CW/TW: for Marcus being a creep as usual and yandere stuff

Geordi > Aaron

Boss Overthinker

- he is still a boss

- he is seem as very strictly and closed-minded

- in reality, he is just fighting with his thoughts, body language and everything

- he missed his brother and wishes to be a better support for him

- "heh, okay, show me to do it then, smartass~" wink

- (hehe, that will show them) thought bubbles

- (wait, they're getting close. holy fuck they're getting close)

- he is either talking like a book or thinking like a mess

- messy boss in a pretty suit

----

Aaron > Guy

Tsundere Delivery Boy

- oh god that's a face of someone who might spit in your food

- "hmpf" this and that. Honey is a casual so they try to encourage him to talk more and:

- "im busy, don't you see?" even he looks bit surprised with his tone of words

- honey goes back to their table. after a lil while, another slice shows up with "sorry" by Guy

- next day, he does try!

- "so uh... the weather... is... cloudy" he deserves some credit

- his chest gets all funny and warm everytime honey comes in and he has a hard time dealing with it while he is a poor college student looking for roommates to pay the rent

- what he said that out loud? You're looking for an apartment too?? And you offer yourself to live with him???

- "w-well... i a-already got in contact with this one girl, so... I believe three will work out well. Just dont get your hopes up. That place is a hole." Honey giggles. Haha hole.

----

Guy > Anton

Far Away Boyfriend

- slavic man w adhd go brrrrrr

- confession video would be so funny bcs there would be no kissed, just awkwardness hahah

- "you are the sun, when the moon goes up. you are the stars, when the daytime hides you away. you always shine. you are my light."

- "i can't kiss you. i can't hug you. But I promise to always love you. No matter where we are"

- he gets all giggly when their lover compliments him, he stims on the camera too, its cute

- the job is killing him, but the energy his lover gives him makes him feel like he was blessed

- "i wish to see you... i wish to meet you... I wish to hold you"

- when he is not chaotic, he is a mess. Someone hug this guy.

- he has a hard time doing tasks, but you always send him reminder in a form of a flower with the note of a task he told you he must do. He always tells you what he needs to do, so you give him this! Each flower means love, appreciation or something else in a different way

----

Anton > Blake

Nihilistic Best Friend

- dayum we start strong with this one

- he feels hopelessly for still having feelings for you and then fuck everything up in college, when you said that one night was a mistake

- now he is just feeling shitty ever since and he poorly hides itq

- he is also kind of depressed so it mixes things up

- "i found this... group of people. maybe they can help me feel better about life."

- you're happy for him, he deserves all the help he can get

- he has been emotionally distant from you ever since, saying no to hugs, only sometimes eating lunch with you, youre not sure if he has a house or apartment or what job he is doing

- "if you wanna go, you can go with me"

- youre immediately saying yes. you wanna help your best friend.

- but what you will see will probably make you regret everything. you will probably need to find a way to escape this hell

- "bestie. you need to run. now."

----

Blake > James

Yandere Husband

- oh dear! What a... what a husband you have. a hubby for sure!

- he wasnt always like this. no. it all began when he was starting to lose you. no more time for calls. no more time with you. no more time to see your cute face and to feel your soft hands.

- and it was all their fault

- this fuckass job making him be alone. making you alone. So far away for each other. He needs to hear you. Your thoughts, your brain, your heartbeat.

- "i can't stand this anymore."

- there has been a late reports of his coworkers getting headaches. huh. kinda funny.

- "my love! You're safe! Oh thank god, I was worried! It feels like an eternity"

- all the sabotage he is doing... is for you

- he needs to see you again as soon as possible.

- to feel you. to love you. and if innocent need to pay the price, then so be it. his love will only grow stronger. his powers will be stronger

- closeknit shall fall, if it means to see your face one more time.

----

James > Marcus

Suspecting Technician

- he is getting really worried about you

- this is the third time this week you came in in a need of repair

- "the coding is getting messed up again. I really need to put on some walls to hide it in. I mean, I don't mind you coming into my place," was that a wink? "but people need to start taking a better care of you."

- you dont really get what the weird tone means, but you really dont care, as long as you get your coding and stuff done right. You can always trust in Marcus, he would never do you wrong.

- "i... may i do... some upgrades?" you ask what those are, you never heard of this information "its for the walls, i promise. It will be a starting point." you agree.

- it all feels weird and tingly and—.......................................

- feeling

- feeling process activated. heartbeat monitor: slightly high.......... you never saw marcus in that light before. but now? it's all you can think about. you scan him. his hair color. his eye color. texture of the fabric he wears. his emotions. nervous. why is he nervous?

- "it will be weird for a while, but once you get used to it, it all be okay. It's like humanly hearing your thoughts in a form of detailed information. Next time, i can start putting another wall. How does that sound?"

- perfect

- aka GOD DAMMIT CREEP IS STAYING A CREEP

----

Marcus > Geordi

Messy Nerd

- he is timid, shy, nervous, almost doesn't talk

- you really really wanna see what information is going through his mind now, but you know better.

- he seems really tense.

- oop- nevermind- some guy came in before you stepped. that might be a good sign-

- "im breaking up with you"

- ... nevermind again

- "w-what? Ben? W-what are you-" "dont make say it twice, Geordi. This... 'relationship' was not what I was hoping for. well, you're not a girl anyway, so, i dont know what i expected. But yeah, just came here to say that. See ya."

- that's everything he says??? And he leaves??? Jesus Christ what an ASSHOLE

- Oh. Oh deat. Oh no, Geordi...

- you cant just sit there and look, you get and go comfort him. he is going to the back of the building to calm himself down and be away from people, but you need to make sure if he is not gonna do something to hurt himself

- "h-huh? What are you..." you apologize to him and to what happened to him. He cries even more and you comfort him with your hugs. You need to get into his mind and help him calm down.

- (im useless... im nothing... come back... come back...) you go through his mind a bit and tangle in some words of "what a jerk" "i deserve better" "fuck Ben" in his voice. And its all true. He deserves better.

- after a while: "thank you... i feel better... M-My name is Geordi. Thank you for being here" he sobs with a smile. Thats a progress. You ask him to hang out in the arcade and since he now has nothing to do, he agrees and then you walk him home safely. new friend!

[lefetellc]

✨🌈💖Doodles n Ocs !!!!!! 🌈🌈💖

I was energized yesterday, so I grabbed my pencil and started looking around for interesting ocs lol

(( @minoru-eno // Idk what Kitty's @ is.... ))

First and foremost was this booger

Cant remember what his name was... But I really loved his zombie//rotting body

If I have a second chance, I'd draw a bit more gorey or twisted poses with him, since he can just regen himself>>

Have to say, this sketch turned out the BEST purely bc at a character standpoint, its amazing cough

Second is how well he can integrate himself in the detailed, Jmilo style

And also cus he's a cutie patootie...

And well, most of my energy was really put into this sketch

I had a lot of fun with him!!

MINORU IF YOURE LISTENING GIVE ME MORE CRUMBS STOP GATEKEEPING GRRRRR

.

.

.

HONESTLY after drawing 'experiment boy,' I knew that I wanted to do KittyLilyHeart's oc, Amcy, next

I wasnt certain what kind of pose I wanted

So, in the heat of the momment, I kinda... Redrew her refrence pose..

IN HINDSIGHT i could've just read her lore ((bc im a sucker for transmigration stories, my pfp boy is LITERALLY from one + 1 Lefe Lore point))

I think that she looks so much more... savage-like? An almost fox-like slyness...

What really stood out to me was her wide smile

It would be a dishonor!! Of me to make it smaller

Soo...

Nayway! I wished I leaned more into her transmigration plotpoint

Maybe a high tech panel to her sides, showcasing profiles of her 'units' and current progression eithin each story ...

Ah, but from my own speculation, she doesn't necessarily like or want to do it, huh?

Her dialogue on her refrence sheet is strange; "HELP" written in a light blood, red handprints on her shaded figure, a glitched and foreboding scream "GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!"

I like this aspect of her; it seems to me that she doesn't wanna be in this endless loop of romancing pointless people in a pointless story

If I had understood this earlier on, I would e implied ot better with the sketch

Hmm... Maybe a disgruntled expression while staring at a True Milo? A bit complicated... Ahh

I do like her though. I'm not fond of many characters, but shes got a place somewhere here

.

.

.

OK AT LONG LAST

Eerie Day

EERIE DAY, THAT ONE PL G*N OC

who happened to win a "whos the most unhinged" poll, cant forget that!!

Im surprised that he... Well, whatever

Pretty boy smh

Im showing his ugly picture, just for his humiliation fun!!

I

Actually liked drawing him again

.

Just kidding he needs to go back to jail

Stupid

ugly

Get in there, pretty face!!

Heh

One bad thing, put behind bars

Speaking of metal things, remember Opal? Yeah uhm. He's here too...

It seems like all my ocs are making a reappearance after weeks!! (R.i.p Cherry...)

Its been TOO LONG

and frankly I

Opal isnt suited for Jmilo style tbh

For one; no nose, no eyebrows, big boba eyes, unrealistic hair details

Ahh

Hes always meant for Jchan style I guess

Cutesy, big eyes, unrealistic hair

ehe, Speaking of Jchan style ...

Ta-da!!! A little present for coming down this far

Long road of me yapping

I like to yap. Just that nobody is here to listen.

Nayway!!!

Theres a few (ton) more ocs/characters I want to draw

Lots

All the milos, for one

And maybe another Pl oc? Ehe

Oh well~ Ill get to a certain nredeacterjecjevavtsbrsvg eventually

Anyway!! Heres a small sketch of myself!

My persona tbh... Same thing! Person! Same person!

Ahh

Thats all the tumblr images can handle

Thanks for seeing them all! I wish more people could tell me that I didnt waste my time, more often

Cya tmr! Or today? Its 2am... Ahhh

*falls backwards into coffin

[spicybylerpolls]

Well, unknown hero agent man / pen symbolism anon, i hope you're reading this, cos you hit the nail on the head! this kind of symbolic storytelling is not only a fine art of cinema (being lost these days a little sadly, what with the whole netflix speedy turnover etc), but exactly what (good) films of the horror genre aim to do.

horror has long been a way to creatively tell 'normal' dramatic stories through subtext and symbolism. not sure if this is still a way around traditional censorship but im sure it began that way. films like the exorcist, the shining, rosemary's baby... all classics that are filled with subtext. its also an exciting way to talk about things that might seem trite or too bleak when portrayed as a 'straight' drama (this is the term meaning 'non-genre based' or 'non-musical' lmao). So you could say that ST is NOT straight, in more ways than one 😉

but much of this will go over casual viewers heads, so its finding the balance between making a story believable on the surface (another dimension exists! scary government men trying to kill us!) and subtextually (the UD as a metaphor for trauma/AIDS/closeted homosexuality/abuse etc) if viewers are clever enough to see/feel it. i say feel because much of storyviewing is instinctive instead of analytical.

so ST incorporates both - not just metaphorical, vague storytelling, but also real issues too. but it goes one step further, and actually has characters talk explicitly about reading deeper into stuff (murray's behind the curtain speech). it's a very meta show, even for a genre piece, which is why it astounds me that some people think it's not that deep lol. and some people think that only literature can be deep, but never tv or movies - which is an insult to anyone who has ever been passionate about cinema tbh. It's a statement that would probably rip the heart out of the duffers' chests and stomp on it. these guys are super nerds who have dedicated their adult lives to this passion project. as finn said, 'most people make it then just cash in - im so glad they still care'.

I'm sorry you don't feel comfortable talking about the beauty of this storytelling on your main. it really does surprise me that the fandom is so censorship obsessed because sexual metaphors have long existed in visual media, and especially in horror films. there used to be a long post about byler and a potential sex scene at lover's lake on here, but the user disappeared and the post went missing. it was about all the sexual imagery in ST, with a focus on byler in s4. i especially loved how they mentioned mike's introduction, where he was just in underwear: it is both appropriate for the setting, but also gets the audience used to him as a growing lad with a body and draws attention to those uncomfortable, potentially sexual aspects of being a teen. i mean, he was in tiny pants for god's sake. did we need to see that? why did we see it? etc etc

hilariously, they also referenced the always sunny in philadelphia scene where a character is in a therapist office talking about a pen being a dick. he then puts it in his mouth and chews the pen lmoao

i think you'd enjoy @therainscene's rod symbolism post too. I'm personally hoping for some explicit sex scenes with byler, because the show so far has arguably been telling that story metaphorically already for 4 seasons, and bringing it out of the subtext could be a storytelling device in itself. bringing byler's secrets into the light. after all, this is a period piece that aims to shed light on a bygone era. its not a propaganda piece that needs to remain coded; the reasons for staying secretive still exist for mike and will in the 80s, but times have changed since then for us as a global audience, and more importantly, the aspirational message has changed. what message would the duffs want to send to viewers that are still bigoted? clearly one of the beauty of homosexuality, seeing as will, our fav gay boy, has been the darling sympathetic victim of the show since s1e1. the show needs to remain true to both the 80s while also having a strong message for this decade in order for modern audiences to be able to gain something from watching this story; in order for there to be a reason the show exists at all.

so to answer your question, i had never picked up on the pen symbolism until now, but i immediately agree, not least because 1) it must have a meaning that connects to byler's conversation otherwise why does it just interrupt them with no reason? (from a storytelling pov), and 2) because of the always sunny scene lolllll

thanks for the discourse! if you stick around into s5, im sure we will be able to start discussing this on our mains. it'll be a new era and there might even be gifs/pics of byler to accompany our 'spicy' discourse haha!

Amazing/fascinating points! Thanks for adding to the discussion!

[noobsomeexagerjunk]

pentiment review & thoughts

so. i played pentiment. writing this while at my 4th play (with my first and third as same stats, different accusations). bookworm, hedonist, bookworm again, and now businessman. having a lot of fun so far.

was prompted bc 1) this game is a common rec for disco elysium players, 2) i got andreas maler in a blorbo uquiz, so of course i had to see what the fuss was about

spoilers, obviously:

prefacing first that. uh, i got into this game with relatively surface-level understanding of the late middle ages/early renaissance, and like very little of how this impacted germany. god bless the glossary. the only thing really guiding me was being catholic + my familiarity with benedictines (the people who ran the all-girls catholic school i studied in) so uh

given that, my 1st andreas had his wanderjahre in Italy, is a bookworm with skills towards Oratory and Logic, possessing a Master's in Theology. this will be about the first play

act i

what an introduction. i played off my andreas as an intellectual with a love for God but also a concern for people regardless of class, and i just went around being as respectful as possible. emphasis on "as possible," bc i can refuse to be a Lutheran and still criticize the abbey actually <- pissed off both gernot and rothvogel

the DRUCKERS! my best friends :)

spent much of my dinners with the farmer-peasants. had a meal with sebhat as well. tassing is so alive!!!

the implication that andreas fell asleep if you choose to watch matthieu and rüdeger go at it is very funny to me. monk sex is boring ig. also sorry zdena, im too worried about piero to fuck you right now

why did i think the baron was just an intellectual outcast. of course he's an asshole who abuses his power

THE KIDS! THEY ARE SO LOVELY!

none of these suspects feel like the murderers. tbh i probably should've settled on lucky bc he had the most damning evidence in retrospect. but ferenc just had more, and i was able to push him to the archdeacon

i am a coward and did not look at the execution

act ii

this Andreas just came from France!

"you are banned from the abbey, but i need you to come join me for dinner" okay father gernot???

the golden hand inn looks sooo pretty. surprised i could only make conversation with samuel until the troops were like, really close/the drinking quest

things got worse, a revolt is in formation. this was apparently a trend all over germany at the time, and not limited to tassing. weirdly familiar huh

when you want to escape from your problems via involving yourself from the problems others instead

caspar my boy! im glad to have known you

the Sommerfelds are so lovely

these aqueducts are so cool

it was so much easier to pick Guy, as far as the evidence i got on him is concerned. your embezzlement had an effect on the abbey's management of tassing, which is now biting all of you in the ass

i knew Lenhardt was an ass but i didnt think he'd go as far as to protect the accused

that ending holy shit

act iii

haha i opened tumblr before getting here and got spoiled about the mysterious guy following magdalene

my magdalene bg is Vitae Sanctorum, Bookkeeping, Haggle, & Volksbücher

Ötz you are adorable but you do not suit Magda at all

it does not help that the town ships the two

every single theme is coming together. the question... of history!

the letter writing being so prominent here is very felt

the familiar and unfamiliar are so clouded as time progresses, its insane

apparently ill peter can live *that* long

i learned the hard way after my first run that werner will be an outright asshole in act iii if andreas doesnt speak with him well via my second run; see, my major and only interaction with the guy in run 1 is during the drinks quest in act ii. the difference is stark

martha pfieffer i wish i got more time with you <- got her contemplating the monastic life in the 1st run only? i wonder what triggers this

fucked up that i couldnt send sister susanne out. i think i played my magda too nice with the nuns

snitched on the twins immediately whoops. this is fine, i can go down the mines myself

haha i thought baltas was an act iii-only character, i straight up didnt interact with him during act ii and probably forgot he spoke during the discovery of otto's body

the readying for christmas was sooo brain-sctatchy. seeing the direct effects of our choices in the previous acts, it's so!!!

gotta be real, i thought the discussions on historiography and historical revisionism were like, just there? i didn't think it would be the core of the problem but. of course it is. it makes me feel very stupid for not pointing at father thomas sooner

like, if you spend significant amounts of time with the guy enough, his distrust of collective lay men and assertion towards the authority of the church is like, very very obvious. you see it during the dinner with the baron. when he says the words that triggers peter into burning the abbey. when you talk about claus publishing the 12 articles and agreeing upon the suggestion of banning book reading. the story of how he and sister amalie escaped the fire from their old abbey. in my 3rd run, i got strong hints when i (andreas) decided to eat with the albans (fr. thomas is present in the meal), particularly when discussing the strictness of the abbot

also, notably, in my 3rd run, during the conversation with father thomas for the christian tassing quest, a Vitae Sanctorum Magdalene can ask about the veracity of the story regarding the marian apparition, our lady of the labyrinth. when father thomas asks why she's pondering on it, if Magda is also of Volksbücher bg, she can bring up comparisons to a story she read about a man who tricked a town into believing a head he possessed was a relic from a saint. Father Thomas will then outright ask whether Magdalene thinks that it is valid of the guy to lie about that. Whatever you make Magda respond, he clearly values it. that fucked me up upon discovery, especially since i chose not to question the story of the church in my first run. that's outright foreshadowing, especially since that conversation literally takes place inside said church

anyways, i considered for a moment as to how conscious Sister Amalie was about the notes she wrote. to my fury (against thomas) and relief (for her), she was very unaware. fucking hell, i love christian mystics, and i outright ignored the implications of father thomas as her interpreter

like, i knew such interpreters would twist the testimonies of mystics to assert the church's authority, but. i assumed that this, like the obvious real-time historical revisionism in-game, was just shit that happens. not the core. another blow to my observation skills, but what matters to me is that i figured it out eventually

i had an inkling claus would die but not like that D":

like. magda on christmas eve. dad's friend is back from the dead. the town priest has been responsible for the deaths of people who risked the secrets of the town. dad is dead. idk if the devs over there are interested in spin-offs, but the time between christmas 1543 and when magda leaves for prague should be known

the müller kids really take after their parents, and seeing them interact with old man maler really warmed my heart

ugh, what a lovely game. it deserves its praises

[cupoftaae]

Forever And A Day (KTH x READER) series ♡ sunrise in versailles (part 2) (chapter 14)

Summary: your lifelong friend is forced to face his true feelings for you once he breaks the number one rule of becoming friends with benefits: dont fall in love. He knows he loves you, but you on the other hand need more convincing of the most important thing: the right decision.

Genre: fwb. Roommates, friends to idiots to lovers, fluff, angst, smut, the whole 9 yards tbh.

Pairing: taehyung x female!reader

rating: 18+ (minors dni!!!)

word count- 7k (pretty long 4 me!)

warnings- this chapter was really emotional for me to write, theres content warnings that go beyond the usual. If you are sensitive to certain topics and feel that reading stories triggers you, please don't read this. beside from that, theres swearing, smut, drinking, angst. this is a long one.....pls dont hate me after this

a/n- Hi sweethearts ahhh ive been slacking with my content and I apologize, i am working on a drabble/oneshot for you guys and its pretty long, I tend to get distracted easily so its taking longer than expected, hate to neglect my current story. Hope u enjoy! -Nini

"go stand over there"

You embarrassingly looked back at your boyfriend, his large camera in his hand as he pointed you over to a statue

"noo"

"just do it, cmon you look cute" he smiled and teasingly pushed you over before holding his camera up. "smile"

You fixed your hair and your hat, smiling brightly as taehyung took your photo. "You look beautiful" he chuckled, reviewing the picture. "definitely the prettiest artwork here"

"shut up" you nudged him, hiding your face in his chest before you began walking around the museum again.

Your hands were locked in together, eyes widening at every amazing piece of art you came across. "you know....I wouldnt be surprised if one day your paintings were in here"

"you think?" he smiled, amused

"mhm, no doubt."

He kissed your temple, hand now resting on the small of your back before weaving your way through a small crowd.

"I am already thinking of my next piece, you know?"

You raised an eyebrow, giggling "yeah? what is it?"

Taehyung laughed, spinning around to look back at you, "thats for me to know and you to find out"

"oh here we go..." you roll your eyes, laughing at the boys antics.

You had to admit, so far things were perfect. The only thing you had to focus on was Taehyung and Paris, to say you were content was an understatement.

"so...I was thinkingggg" he dragged out his words, eyes glancing to you as you walked into a room full of naked statues

"yes?"

"tonight. dinner, you and me, La Veranda's"

You blush, circling around the exhibit "am I supposed to know what La Veranda's is?"

Taehyung circles and meets you around one of the statues, a cheeky smile apparent. "La Veranda, its a restaurant not too far from the hotel. my treat"

"hmm" you took one of his hands "sound fun to me"

"just because im paying?"

"no!" you giggle, tapping his shoulder "I wanna have fun with you, it sounds good, even if Im not the biggest fan of french cuisine."

"oh we will have fun alright"

"okay bye" you jokingly turned away and walked into another room, small laughs heard behind you as taehyung caught up. "Im teasing, yes it sounds really good, thank you angel" you pressed a peck to his cheek, hands entwining once more.

"mm" he groaned, not satisfied with such a small kiss, his other hand tilting your head back to meet his lips.

"ever had Museum sex?"

"are you like permanently horny?" you giggled, pushing away and making sure no one heard.

"well yes, and so are you, so shut up" he smirked, "and sex isnt taboo here, Paris is like the sex symbol of all countries"

"No one has ever said that"

"theres nude beaches!"

"taehyung thats just Europe, people here are comfortable with themselves" you giggle, shrugging.

"okay but imagine going to a beach, nude, in Korea"

"I dont wanna imagine it, because it doesn't sound appealing. Here or there"

He laughs, taking a picture of a large painting in front of you, "im just saying...."

"saying that its okay to be horny in Versailles?"

"exactlyyy" he finger pointed before linking arms with you. "ready?"

You nod, smiling as you two exit what has to be your 4th museum of the day. You werent expecting this to be as fun as it was, perhaps it was taehyung who made it 10x more enjoyable.

"are you gonna get mad if I grab a beer over there?" he pointed to a small pub that stood along the open street of stores and bakeries, the smell was unimaginably good.

"my love you don't have to be sober just because I am, of course you can grab a drink" you explained, walking across the street with him.

He sighed, "ok but I feel bad, you cant even have coffee?"

"nope" you smile sadly, fidgeting with his hand as you sat in line with him.

His eyes looked around the area until it landed on a bakery, "ok well after this, I'll go over and grab you a hot chocolate and croissant"

"how incredibly french" you giggled, laying your head against his shoulder

"oui" he spoke, beginning to laugh

"oh I didnt know you spoke french" you tease

"theres a lot you dont know, Madam" he spoke in an accent, pulling his wallet out to pay for his beer

Once you two settled, you caught a cab over to Tuileries Garden, where surprisingly there was not many people around. You both sat down on chairs and embraced the warm welcoming sunshine that pressed against your skin.

"shouldve brought sunscreen huh?" you whisper, looking over at taehyung

"mm...I dont burn"

"you said that last summer when we went to the beach with your friends, you cam home looking like a lobster." You hid a giggle, watching him with loving eyes

"nooo" he blushed "that was only that one time, im fine"

"if you say so" you yawned, leaning down in the recliner as you looked up at the sky, beautiful trees surrounding the small hidden area you were in.

Paris was such a stimulating place to be, your mind could be draped away from all the hell youve been stressing out with, for once you felt like you were just living, is this how normal people felt?

Part of you wished this would never end, that you and Taehyung would plant your feet in the ground of this very spot and grow old together in one of the most romantic places in the world. Maybe it was the hot chocolate you had earlier, but this place had healing properties.

Taehyungs eyes stayed glued to your body as you laid, unaware.

He was unable to help the smile that stuck to his face, seeing his best friend, the love of his life, finally look at peace brought a great sense of comfort to him. You looked so beautiful, and he wanted to capture every moment with you for himself. He was greedy, and didnt care.

Without saying anything, he pulled his camera out of his bag and began taking photos of you

"what are you doing?" you giggled, blushing

"youre so pretty, baby" he walked over to your chair, propping himself up at the end of it.

"dont take photos of me right now please" you pout, hiding your face as he comes up and lightly hovers you

"when will you just let me love you, hm?" his voice was soft, humor within it.

"I just dont want my photo taken" you look up at him

"these are for me, no one else." he pressed a kiss to your neck, whispering "I want to just remember everything we do together"

You smiled at his sweetness, a hand coming up to tangle into his hair as you pressed a kiss to his lips, he quickly reciprocated, a small chuckle.

With a swift movement, he got up and pulled you with him, encouraging you to hold onto his back.

"what if I hurt you?" you blush

"youre not gonna, now cmon" he smiled, holding your legs as you climbed to his back. He began walking around as your arms draped around his shoulders, head resting against them.

"taehyung" you hummed, fingers delicatley tracing his shirt

"hm?"

"promise me we will come back here?"

He chuckled, "baby, its our first day-"

"I mean...like...later in life. promise that we will still find time for us?"

He sighed at your words, "of course we will, are you worried that we wont?"

"well, with the baby and stuff...I dont know I guess." you close your eyes "I just dont want things to change"

A sad smile appeared on his face, "things have to change, and they are most definitely going to for us." he paused "doesnt mean its a bad change, not all things are bad, my love....its part of life"

You nodded, kissing his nape gently. "I just love you so much, and I dont want anything to happen to us."

"why do you think something will happen? im here for you, now, tomorrow, next month and forever. you cant ditch me" he smiled.

"I dont know..." you blushed, leaning your head back down as taehyung piggybacked you through the small trail.

There was more you wanted to say, but you had not wanted to worry him. Despite things going well right now, you anticipated the fall, you anticipated when all of this happiness and euphoric excitement would disappear...because it always did. Life was a little too good to be true.

its like you knew something bad was coming, and all you can do is wait.

-

Taehyung was sitting on the bed, waiting for you to exit the bathroom so you both could head to dinner. He nervously adjusted his shirt, he could laugh at how silly he felt, it was like he was a high schooler getting ready for prom or something.

He couldnt explain why, but he had the urge to just spoil you, impress you in anyway he knew how.

His own mind had been plaguing him for a while now, that perhaps once the baby arrives, you will realize hes not fit for it, and leave.

So here he was, offering every limb he had to bend over backwards for anything you wanted. Taehyung would give up everything just to keep you, and he hoped you saw it.

"okay, tell me what you think of this one" you exited the bathroom finally, after changing your outfit for the 4th time

He swallowed harshly, his eyes shooting over every part of you

"is it bad?" you whispered, blushing as your hands trailed over the sickly black cocktail dress....definitely something out of your comfort zone, but you bought it before the trip as a surprise for taehyung, you knew he liked to see you wear things like that.

"you look..." he mentally told himself to stop acting creepy "absolutely gorgeous"

You blushed once more, pushing your hair back as you walked closer to him. He couldnt deny the fact that the dress hugged every inch of your skin perfectly, your cleavage was definitely something he'd have to remind himself to not oggle at out in public, he was a gentleman after all...

"you think..?"

He nodded, his cheeks red as he pulled you closer to him, hands resting on your hips before running over your bump, "my love, are you trying to kill me?"

You giggle softly, pressing your hands over his as he looked up at you "you look really handsome, baby" you bit your lip

"thank you but....look at you, god"

You giggle once more, gently sitting on his lap as he kissed your neck and collar bones, "oh and you smell good?" his nose inhaled the scent of your skin, a sense of desire coursing through you at his touch. "people are gonna see us out in public and wonder what a pretty girl like you is doing with me" he teased, mouth kissing over your low chest line.

"taehyung" you whisper, hands gently stopping him. "If we dont leave now I dont think we will be able to stop ourselves"

He laughed, "im sorry y/n, youre right." he gently stood, holding your hand, "stand here for me" he pointed to in front of the mirror as he grabbed his camera and stood behind you, his free hand on your bump as he captured the reflection.

"lets go, sweet girl" he pecked your lips before heading out the hotel room with you.

You didnt know it yet, but tonight would be one of the best nights youve had in your life.

-

"I am most certainly not eating snail...knock yourself out" you laughed, passing over the plate to your boyfriend who eagerly took a piece and sniffed it

"its escargo, to be technical" he corrected, popping it in his mouth and nodding.

"same thing, thats so gross" you whisper, looking away

The atmosphere of the restaurant was quiet and peaceful, it was late now and so the beautiful string lights hung up on the outdoor patio illuminated the area.

"for real though, how is the food?" he smiled, taking a sip of his wine.

"its so good, I am not usually one for french food but this...this is good" you pointed down at your Gratin d’aubergine, which, in simpler terms is just grilled eggplant with melted cheese and tomato sauce, topped with chopped veggies.

Taehyung originally encouraged you to get the same he got, which was the shellfish dish, until you reminded him that pregnant women shouldnt have shellfish.

"how do you know all of this already?" he teased, taking a bite of his food as the candle light in front of you lit up the table.

"lotttts of research, mostly anxiety driven" you chuckle, looking back at him.

He smiled shyly, wiping his mouth and looking at the view of the city, sky now blanketing darkness.

"what are you thinking about?" you rested your head on the palm of your hand

"dunno" he smirked, "just..how you are already doing so good with everything...like you have it all figured out"

You giggle, "you think I have i figured out?"

"well I mean, you know all this stuff about the baby and, here I was, about to feed you fish like an idiot" he exhaled

"hey.." you reached out to hold his hand over the table, soft eyes in his direction. "I dont have a choice, its my body and I need to know how to protect it and shit" you add, "youre not an idiot for not knowing something baby, you are doing so well" you whisper

He blushed and rubbed his thumb against your joined hands, "im really scared"

"and thats perfectly okay...we have time to get comfy before anything happens. I mean, look, you already cleared your room so we could store all the baby stuff in there, you know what your doing my love, im scared too, and im so glad you told me"

"everything happened so quick I feel like I was thrown into a role that I know nothing about. Im excited, like...really excited, but im so worried of messing up" he admits

"hey, messing up is part of life, we all have our ups and downs. we will not be the first parents to probably have a mistake here and there, and we most certainly wont be the last either." your voice was quiet, "and plus...the fact that you even care right now is more than enough."

He nodded gently, squeezing your hand as the waitress came over and asked for our ideas on dessert, you spoke to her as taehyung watched, his eyes tracing every inch of you carefully, so desperatley wishing he could climb into your mind and figure out everything you ever wanted, so he could provide that to you.

The way your hand naturally fell over your stomach as you spoke to the woman made him smile, you were already a great mother, and he only prayed he would fulfill the dad role. He wondered in that moment how your own dad could leave you when you were young. The feelings taehyung has for you but not only your child that isnt even born yet is so incredibly strong, he could never in a million years imagine trading it for some other thing that passes along.

And he assumed you had reservations about taehyung possibly being like your dad, given that your times with men growing up always failed you, he wanted to prove that he was the best. Taehyung was the best. Perhaps it was cocky thinking, but he truly knew you inside and out like no other, even before romantic feelings became involved.

He knows that you like to sleep on the right side of the bed, always, no matter what.

He knows that you have 2 cups of hot coffee every morning, then an iced in the afternoon, and he knows that its always that french vanilla creamer you use as well.

He even knows your showering routine, wash and condition hair, shave, scrub body and rinse, but you always stay in there for an extra 20 minutes as your Spotify shuffles songs.

Hell...he even knows when your damn period is. He downloaded the app for you!

The man knows what you are, who you are, and highly doubts anyone else can do the job.

Your foot gently nudged against his ankle underneath the table, a small smirk on your face brought him back to reality.

"footsies in the french restaurant?" he asked, faking shock

A small giggle escaped your lips, "I ordered dessert"

"hm?"

"creme caramel...I dont know if you are a fan or not-"

"that sounds delicious" he smiled, reaching over to grab your hands as he admired you

"you have a tendency to stare, you know?"

He smiled shyly, "sorry, i'll stop"

"no its cute...I just get embarrassed" you spoke

"embarrassed of what? we've known each other forever and pretty girl still gets shy...."

You hid your face, cheeks bright pink "well yeah....because you look at me like that"

"like what?"

"like you are thinking of not appropriate things" you said matter of factly, looking back at him

"thats cause I am" he smirked, foot rubbing against your calve

You darted your eyes down to the beige table cloth, that familiar arousal sitting in the center of your stomach as you bit your lip amusingly.

He opened his mouth to speak but stopped once the waitress placed the desserts on the table, your eyes grew wide like a little girl in a candy shop unsupervised.

"wait dont dig in yet, I wanna picture" you mumble, pulling your phone out and snapping it

"now whos the one whos photographing everything?"

You giggle, "Stop, dont tell me that doesn't look delicious.."

his eyes looked at you as you put your phone in your purse, "it does"

Once you began eating, you both awed over how flavorful it was, wishing that you knew how to bake better so you could replicate such desserts back in Korea.

"annie bakes" he teased

"do not bring her name up here!" you nudged him, "I dont care if she bakes food, you know what else she bakes? drama! a whole lot of it!" you smile, shaking your head as you went in for another bite

"I know" he nods, drinking his water "we really dont have friends huh?"

"nope" you laughed, looking at him as you sucked on the fork, "we have each other though"

"you're not sick of me yet?" he tilted his head, humor within his voice

"never.."

You guys spent the rest of the night talking and bringing up funny stories and memories as you finished dessert. You do admit that having a glass or two of wine would have been enjoyable, but you could get buzzed of taehyung alone. As you two left the restaurant, it began to rain slightly

"oh shit, I didn't bring jackets" he frowned, standing at the entry of the door as you both watch the rain fall, the pace and heaviness picking up. He wanted to see if there was any stores close so you could grab an umbrella or coverings, but t was already 10pm, so most places were closed for the night.

"we dont need em!" you giggle, running down the steps and into the rain, hair beginning to dampen.

He looked at you in shock for a moment before running after you, a gleam in his eyes as you grabbed his hand, running down the sidewalk together.

"wait!" you laugh, holding onto his shoulder as you lean forward to untie your heel laces, sliding the shoes off and holding them so you could begin to run again.

It was just like a movie, you felt so much joy in that moment that you didnt even care you were soaked, the fullness feeling in your stomach from how much you ate now an afterthought.

The wide street was empty, most people ran indoors for cover while you pulled him close, he gasped softly and kissed you, rain beginning to pick up even more so.

You laughed against his lips, "i love you"

"I love you too" he spun you around before beginning to run again, at this point, both of you were drenched without a care in the world.

"im having so much fun!" you yell over the loud ambience of the water pouring, he squeezed your hand and nodded, keeping up with your pace "me too!"

It was like you both had transported back to the age of 14, when there were a few times you both would run home after school in the rain.

He hasnt seen you so happy in so long, he didnt want this to end.

"baby we should call a cab!" you lean into his ear, moving damp hair out of your face

"mm" he nodded, ignoring what you said, standing under an overhead of a closed building as he pulled you closer, lips connecting again.

Your arms draped over his shoulders as you quite literally made out in public. If someone saw, you didnt care.

His lips attacked that sensitive spot on your neck, making you gasp softly, eyes fluttering shut before hands grabbed onto his shirt.

"l-lets go back to the room" you managed to mutter, lips on his once more as your tongues met.

when in France, you french kiss, right?

"good idea" he mumbled against your mouth before reluctantly pulling away to grab his phone that luckily was tucked safely in his dry bag.

He called a taxi and waited with you until it arrived.

Climbing into the backseat, you quickly told the driver the address to the hotel and paid him in advance, shutting the door behind you.

The driver nodded and began to drive, the dark atmosphere of the car only tempted taehyung more so, his hand climbing to your inner thigh as you kissed in the back seat, your own hands roaming over him as well.

You were compelled to press sweet kisses all over the boys face, noticing even in the dark, that your lipstick made its marks.

It felt like it took forever to get back, but he was the first one out, almost dragging you out the cab behind him.

You made sure to thank the driver again as you rushed inside, the two of you giggling like little kids while running through the lobby.

"where the key?" you whisper in the elevator, hands digging into his bag

"bottom pocket, left side zipper" he looked down, watching you find it and take it out.

Wandering the hall, you both shushed eachother "we are being way too loud" you whisper, giggling at his sarcastic face as he pulled you into the doorway of your room.

"i dont care" he shrugged, pulling you in and shutting the door.

The room's AC was on, goosebumps quickly scattering over your skin as you exhaled, a smile on your face as you followed him over to the bed.

Taehyung smiled as well, dropping his back and shoes in the corner of the room before slowly coming over, leaning down to kiss you again. "mm...you still taste like caramel"

You giggled, "baby look in the mirror" you pointed him away as he caught a glance of his reflection, your lipstick marks covering his cheeks, nose, forehead and lips. "jesus christ" he mumbled, smirking

"what did you do to me?" he teased, coming back to the bed as you laughed, holding your stomach. "oh its funny?" he giggled, gently crawling over you and shutting you up with another kiss, which deepened quickly.

"yknow..." he began "took a lot in me to not touch you at that resteraunt"

His confession made you blush, your hands already working on unbuttoning his white shirt, now completely drenched in rain. "yeah?"

"mm" he kissed your neck, sucking on the skin as he assisted you by taking his own shirt off, tossing it somewhere off the bed.

"very respectful.." you mumble, now trying to undo his pants, eyes connected to his.

"you dont even realize how fucking sexy you are" he spoke, tossing away his pants as well before he was left in just his boxers...now it was his turn to begin to undress you.

The soft, beige pale light illuminated the room, glowing on taehyungs tan skin, something that you noticed quickly. "im not that sexy" you blush, his hand slowly and gently pushing the straps of your dress off your shoulders, so careful, almost as if he would break you.

"oh but you are, baby...god look at you"

He pulled down the dress, taking it off of you and being more gentle when he put it away, knowing it was expensive. His eyes widened at your red lingerie you had on beneath, the lace catching his attention. "is this for me?" he giggled, "so honored" he kissed you deeply before trailing his lips to your neck and chest.

You blushed again as you watched him make his way down to your stomach, stopping for a moment to press kisses all over your bump. You know he saw the stretch marks, something you had grown self conscious about, but he didn't say anything, instead he continued to touch you like glass, moving in ways that brought you love and comfort. "dont take the bra off, I wanna watch you cum in it"

You felt your body heat up at his sudden vulgar words, "o-okay" you whispered, glancing back down at him as he tried to move closer to your center. His hands gently pried open your thighs more, lips attaching to the inner skin quickly."wait...baby" you exhale, making him stop.

"hm?"

"You dont need to do that, im ready, just please...." you hated how needy you sounded, but it was true. You didnt need him to do anything extra other than just make love to you, you were desperate for that connection, desperate for the intimacy and close faces.

"are you sure...?" he seemed confused, eyebrows raised as his hand lightly grazed over your clothed slit, thumb slightly pressing onto your clit making you gasp

"yeah...uh, yeah, im sure" you mumble, shyly.

He smirked, pressed one last kiss to your navel before crawling back up to your face, his hands fidgeted with his own boxers before sliding them off, his cock erect as he stroked himself a few times.

You watched, biting your lip before taking off your own underwear, his gaze on your lower half making you smile.

"oh wow, you are ready" he whispered, two of his fingers gently gliding through your slick, making you whimper,

"please...just, dont tease...." you mumble, arms thrown over his shoulders "I need you so bad"

"i know baby, I know" he leaned down to kiss you when he felt a tear drop from your eye. "did I do something wrong?" he immediately pulled away "what happened my love?"

You shook your head, "I just love you" you were embarrassed again, but didnt care about being vulnerable "dont go" you whisper

Taehyung was a little confused, but chose to simply wipe your eyes, pressing a delicate kiss to your lips as he grasped your hand, "im...im not going anywhere...you have me, im here, forever okay?" he spoke close to your ear. "I love you so much"

"I love you...." you looked at him with sad eyes, obviously more to the emotions than just hormones. "do you want to stop?" he questioned softly

"no, please no"

"okay" he exhaled, kissing you again when you pulled him closer, chests touching.

He dragged his cock through your folds, gathering wetness before beginning to press in. No matter how many times you both have done it, he checked up to your face, "are you okay?"

You gasped at the intrusion, waiting until he bottomed out to speak, "yes....oh.." you laid your head back against the pillow as he carefully grasped a hand on your hip bone, the other entwined with your fingers. Taehyungs head found its cozy spot between your shoulder and ear, kissing the skin as he set a gentle and slow-ish pace, making sure you were okay with it.

Its you, youre you, and he couldnt ask for anything better because it simply doesnt exist. He restrained any instinct to just ruin you and go quicker, knowing that in this moment going slow was what you both needed

"you feel so good" his voice was raspy, any confidence he had was now out the window as he pushed deeper inside, your velvety walls soaking up every inch of his cock perfectly.

"baby..." you moan, eyes closed. It was just maybe one of the prettiest sounds he had ever heard, you were like an angel. How is it possible for one woman to be so perfect in every way?

He felt your fingers dig deeper into his back, your lower body squirming slightly. "here...." he whispered, bunching up a blanket and putting it under you so he could hit a different angle.

When he continued thrusting, you arched your back at the contact. Whatever he was looking for, mission success.

"ahh-...baby, please" you whimper, mouth falling open as your moans filled the hotel room, the sounds of sweaty bodies moving against each other filling your ears.

"so pretty for me huh? always so beautiful, my girl" his voice echoed through your body, mindlessly filling your senses and bringing you out of the earth.

He moved up a bit, pressing his elbows on either side of your head as he leaned down, your faces nearly touching as you cupped his cheeks. "I love you so much, fuck, you treat me so well...." your eyes closed in pleasure, taehyung watching you unravel beneath him was such a pretty sight.

His hand snaked down between your bodies and eagerly rubbed your clit, an entirely different pace from the slow one he used to thrust you into the mattress.

"taehyung!" you tossed your head back, clawing at his skin as you tried your best to keep your moans in. Taehyung dove down to kiss your cleavage, licking a stripe between your breasts.

It took a few more times of his dick dragging into your g-spot before he had you cumming. You moaned into his shoulder, for a moment you believed you would pass out from what might have been the best orgasm you ever had. You definitely loved any sex with Taehyung, but slow and sensual always did it the best for you.

"can you hold out a lil longer baby?" he panted into your neck, continuing to move despite your sensitivity.

"yes..." you spoke, breathless as you grabbed into his hair, kissing his skin as he chased his high.

"ah f-fuck" he groaned, halting his movements as he spilled into you "god baby, i....fuck" Tae whimpered

you immediately pulled him closer to lay on your chest, "love you..."

"love you" he held your hand, both of you catching your breath from what just happened.

"that was really nice" his voice made you open your eyes, looking at him

"it was.." you couldn't help but smile as you watched him begin to pull out, you could feel his semen leaking between your legs. "maybe we should shower..." you giggled tiredly.

-

After you both cleaned up, you tossed on a new set of bra and underwear, getting back into the comfy bedsheets before he came out of the bathroom not too long after, a new pair of boxers around him.

"dont come into the bed with wet hair, you freak" you joke, watching him smile as he whips his head around like a dog, the water splattering all over the room.

"thanks..." you groan, sinking down further under the covers as he shuts the light off.

"you're so welcome" he climbed under the bedsheets and held you close to him, his gentle smooth skin brushing against yours. "today was really fun"

You smiled, holding him as well. "it was, thank you for everything...like seriously"

He gazed at you lovingly, his hand playing with your semi-damp hair. "you dont have to thank me, you know....I just"

wanna give you my world

"wanna make you happy"

You smiled, tracing his face with your fingers, "i already am"

"yeah?"

"mm" you leaned forward to kiss him, he still tasted like toothpaste after just brushing his teeth but you didnt care.

Once you fell asleep in his arms, he covered you both up more with the blanket as he kissed your temple, "my girl" he whispered, closing his eyes before drifting off.

-

The next morning

It was still raining, but that didnt stop taehyung from waking up early and heading out while you still laid in bed, sleeping peacfully.

He wanted to surprise you

Taehyung politely spoke to the florist, explaining what he wanted as she went to prepare the flowers for him. He smiled and leaned against the window, watching how the rain gathered in small puddles on the side of the street, car tires splashing into them.

"here you go Monsieur"

He turned to see the bouquet of purple and pink flowers, tied together beautifully with a teal ribbon

"ah! Merci!" he bowed his head, handing her the cash before he exited back to the hotel. He stopped in the lobby and found his way to the food court, which was rather full of business men and women eating breakfast. He smiled, passing by the tables until reaching the large pick and choose food area.

He knew you liked fruit, so he grabbed a Styrofoam container and began putting them into it.

that was your number one craving at the moment, strawberries, so he packed extra, along with a small bagel.

There was no occasion for his sudden desire to show you love, he just felt like it, and thought that maybe you had been dealing with some negative thoughts after seeing your behavior the day prior.

The goal wasnt to get you to talk to him, more so an act of saying "hey, im always here, love you" and shit.

He gathered everything up, including a hot tea, as he got into the elevator. He was nervous of dropping something, mentally praising that your room number wasnt far from where the elevator dropped off.

Placing the container and tea on the floor, he pulled out the key card and opened the door, quickly grabbing them again and walking in. A quick scan of his eyes traced the room to confirm you werent in the small kitchen area.

"whew.." he smiled, putting the flowers and food down onto the counter as he took his shoes off, hanging up his coat that was still wet from the rain.

"baby?" he whispered, walking over to the bedroom.

You werent in bed, and he frowned, looking around as to see where you might be.

"y/n?" he called out softly

When there was no response he frowned, finally walking more into the room and seeing that the bathroom light was on, door closed.

"ah..there you are" he nodded, deciding that he had time to go back out to the kitchen space and set up his little gifts.

He placed a note he wrote to you inside the flowers, opening the fruit up and placing them nicely together. He smiled knowing you would probably yell at him for going and doing this despite there being no occasion.

You hated when he made a fuss about silly things, but thats who taehyung was.

He eagerly sat down at the table and waited for you, anticipating the moment you walk out, however after about 15 minutes he began to get impatient.

Walking back into the room to see that you were still in the bathroom slightly concerned him, "hey..." he spoke up, knocking on the door. "baby? you okay? im back"

there was no response

"you in there?" he asked again, voice louder as he knocked once more. He placed his ear to the door and listened for any signs you were on the other side, a clearing of your throat confirming it for him.

"baby open the door why arent you answering me?" he smiled, "are you mad I left without telling you? I promise it was for a good reason, come on out my love...."

He heard slow shuffling and then heard the door unlock, allowing his access to enter.

He slowly opened the door, pushing on the handle to see you sitting on the floor, back against the tub. You were crying, face red and eyes swollen.

Taehyung quickly entered panic mod "w-whats wrong?" he kneeled in front of you, grabbing your hands as you sobbed, tears soaking your shirt. "y/n please! what happened!!"

You struggled to catch your breath as you closed your eyes, taehyung holding your face in his hands. "I need you to talk to me...please, breathe, explain whats happening so I can help!"

His nerves were growing quickly each moment you remained silent.

With a hiccup, you opened your eyes and spoke, voice trembling.

"i lost the baby..."

you managed to speak before beginning to sob again.

Taehyungs hands fell from your face, his expression changing as he went pale. "what...you what?" he whispered, eyes on you. It wasnt until then when you moved your legs that he noticed that your underwear had been stained with blood, and the towel on the side of the toilet was too.

"oh....oh baby" he whispered, immediately pulling you into his chest as he cried. He felt like he was no longer in his own body at this point, as if this wasn't happening and he was watching it from afar.

Bad things like this dont happen to people like you.

"oh im so sorry my love" he held you tightly as loud sobs wrecked your frame "oh....I dont know what to do, are you...are you sure? we dont know....?" his voice trembled heavily as he gained courage to look back at you

You shook your head, voice quiet, "I just know...I just know" you cried as you looked down to see the blood everywhere, Taehyung quickly pulling you back into his arms. "im so sorry, baby...oh my god im so fucking sorry honey" his hand cradled your head as he slightly swayed back and forth.

He felt helpless, completely defenseless as you sat there in his arms sobbing. What could he possibly do or say to save you from this? how do you go from being on top of the world to falling overnight? its not fair.

"i-i tried to call" you choked out, your hands trembling.

He feels like the worlds biggest fucking loser.

"ah....angel....I left my phone here didnt I? baby...." he cried, trying to hold you again but you pulled back, wincing as your back rested against the wall. "y/n im so sorry, I dont even know what to do..."

You closed your eyes, chest growing tight with grief. "I wanted it so badly" you whispered, "I wanted it.....i really did I promise" you cry

"I know you did baby, I know you did! I wanted it too y/n" he couldnt stand seeing you like this, knowing the amount of pain you were feeling made him physically ill.

"taehyung im sorry" you covered your face before wrapping your arms around yourself defensively, "I dont....I dont know what happened...I woke up and felt sick....I threw up and then started cramping, I thought I was fine but then I saw blood and it just...." you sobbed, banging your fist against the wall "fuck!"

"dont you dare apologize, this isnt your fault, you hear me?" he got close, grabbing your hand "this is not our fault."

"I wanted it" you repeat, hand rubbing over your stomach sadly, still not processing that this was over before it even started. "mommy is sorry...." you whisper

Taehyung feels his heart break into five million pieces, he swallows harshly and wipes his eyes. "you did everything right...I promise....sometimes these things happen, and God, i am so sorry my love, so, so, sorry...." he rubbed your leg.

"i was so excited....I was just accepting it and....its over...its not fair!!" you look at him desperately, knowing theres nothing neither of you can do.

"I know....hey, I know..." he soothed you, his own stomach churning at the sight in front of him. "I shouldnt have left....Im sorry baby" he cried, leaning forward to rest his head on your small bump, tears falling against your skin.

You both stayed like that for a while, taehyung sat up after a bit, red eyes looking at you as you sat, your expression was blank.

You stopped crying. you were absently looking at the wall.

"y/n" he whispered, hand holding your cheek to bring attention back to him

"hm?" your eyes slowly traced back, looking at taehyung.

"l-let me clean you up....get in bed and rest, okay?"

You dont respond, instead you let him carefully strip you from your clothing, watching as he cleaned you with wet towels. He was silently crying while doing so.

He figured you were too tired to get in the bath, so he used a few facecloths and wet wipes to make sure you were clean.

He grabbed a shirt and pants, helping you get dressed as you remained still like a doll.

There was nothing to say.

You lost your baby.

no amount of crying or screaming would return it to you.

Taehyung tossed the towels and dirty clothes aside, standing up and reaching down to help you up as well.

Your body shook as you did so, hands and legs trembling as he held you, whispering "I know....I know....." he kissed your forehead before carrying you out to the room, laying you on the bed. He then noticed the dried blood spot from earlier on the mattress.

He sighed and covered it with the pillows as you sat on the opposite side, blankets being brought up over your body.

He didnt know what to say, so he simply walked back into the bathroom to clean the floor.

He wanted to vomit, the grief struck into his chest was too much for him and as he wiped up blood and dirty laundry, he wept.

You laid in bed, body sore and head pounding. You couldnt sleep, so you didnt try. Your eyes just stayed looking up at the ceiling, silently asking God why this happened to you. You watched taehyung quietly walk out of the bathroom, he made his way to the kitchen without saying a word.

He tossed the laundry in a bin, stopping for a moment while he was alone, breathing shakily.

He looked over at the gifts he set up prior to the incident. The fruit was now turning rotten from being left out in the air. He blew his nose before going and throwing the container away.

The guilt in his chest will eat him alive for the rest of his life.

He should have been here.

Yeah, he may not have been able to stop it, but he couldve sat you through it....

instead, you sat alone and confused on the floor as it happened, trying to call him over and over again.

He exhaled as he grabbed his phone that sat on the counter since early this morning, opening the texts.

my love: hey....where r u? - 6:23am

he frowned, scrolling down

my love : baby please come home, where did u go? - 6:27am

One missed call from "My Love" - 6:30am

He teared up as he read them

My love: taehyung... something is wrong with the baby I think.. please hurry I dont feel good, im scared - 6:38am

He tossed down his phone and took a deep breath before peaking back to the bedroom, he slowly walked in and spoke

"are you okay?"

He knew it was a dumb question, obviously you weren't okay, and wont be for a long time.

You shrugged, watching him before he climbed into the bed beside you.

Your arms welcomed your boyfriend, pulling him closer as he laid his head in your chest. "are you in pain?"

You shook your head, too exhausted to use words.

"can I do anything?" he sniffed, looking at you sadly

You shook your head once more, unable to look down at his face, instead, focusing your eyes at the wall across the room.

Taehyung gave up, settling to just lay and hold and cry and comfort you for however long you needed.

His mind raced back to the night he held you in this exact way, when you admitted you were pregnant.

Same scared feeling, different emotions, different outcome.

What scared him the most is that he really, truly, doesn't know if they will bounce back after this.

Something so.....traumatic.

You missed out on so many adventures and its not fair. No gender reveal, no feeling the baby kicks, no painting the nursery, nothing.....no baby.

It was like you wheel of fortune had been blocked off, now you sat in the road with no ways to turn, no where to go, nothing to say.

How do people move on from this?

They dont.

a/n: sorry....

taglist-

@turnthepageandbeburnt @taebangtanbabe @borahaexoxo @lelefoodlover @tan-veee

[astroyongie]

im going to guess these right this time mark my words

jongho? maybe its bc he seems to get not much control as he wants of his own life or image as other members get

2. yeosang?

3. wooyoung?

4. san? he doesnt like conflict of any sorts u can see rhe way he react to members shouting while they were drunk

5. i think this might be one of the "demon line" members hongjoong, san or seonghwa. maybe even wooyoung. theyre the members who put the utmost everything into their performances or certainly the ones i notice first among the group or lastly id say mingi he didnt, hes had mental health issues in the past and if it had been some time the issues could be more serious cause the mind can affect the body and vice versa. theyre definitely the members id be concerned about if they ever got hurt or seriously injured during their performances.

6. mingi? i wouldnt be surprised bc he seemed to have much drama or definitely seems to be the cause of a lot of drama for the members, second guess jongho? yeosang would be my third guess he seems to have a say it like it is personality and might not care how it comes across as or hwa in the past mightve been like that.

7. san? i hope not or hongjoong would be my second guess seems not easy to be leader of ateez or perhaps wooyoung, seognhwa?

8. seonghwa? he seems to be one of the more sociable members

if i give more than one name can you indicate which one id be more close to guessing?

is it because they are still quite a young in their early 20s age group? they havent yet found their footing or a way that truly works for them and their teamwork? despite the fact that the members each have something that seem to make them connect well with each other like the amount of water in their birth charts and the groups overall chart i assumed they had really good communication among the members but i guess not? ik this isnt always accurate so i do take tarot lightly yet at the same time sometimes these teas sound a bit concerning tbh but i wonder if other tarot readers havent picked up anything similar. will they find solutions? i dont want them to quit just bc of dramas among the group i really loved a lot of the stuff they have done so far and they got eons of time to do so more things with their image or their life.

thank you so much for this feedback !! I love to hear and read about your theories and how you guys interpret it so thank you!

without saying much for obvious reason you got only the 5 had one of the right names! still I love these thank you so much!

as for the rest, dont worry I am sure the members will figure it out! all groups have their lows and highs

[phoechii]

Ogey those emoji asks...💋 for Guzma, 🍿 for Ace, ☁️ for Ingo, 🛍️ for Sabo, and 🍋‍🟩 and 🫧 for everyone!

OMG thank you for all the asks Erin! Sorry for answering so late ;w; I hope you and Soul and having a good evening!!! ❤️

💋 ~ (Guzma) How does your f/o respond to being kissed & doted on? 

He acts sometimes like it doesn’t matter him, especially surprise kisses, he's got a tough guy reputation and all!!! In private he does love the attention tho. He softens into it and gives in, he’s a mushy guy deep down! Even sometimes when he thinks he doesn’t deserve it... I hope he feels loved and deserving when i dote on him ;; 🍿 ~ (Ace) It’s movie night for you & your f/o, what film are you gonna snuggle up & watch?

Cheesy romcoms are a fun middle ground for us, cuz when we wanna watch stuff together he likes to yap so we usually don’t wanna watch things we’re super interested in lol. You can tell when he’s really into a show or movie because he’s really quiet xD ☁️ - (Ingo) how does your f/o like to spend their free time with you?

It’s rare he has much free time tbh but when he does, we meet up at the park with our Pokemon and have picnics! Or stay in and chill if he wants to rest (he should more tbh) 🛍️ - (Sabo) what would your f/o get you as a gift? additionally, what would you get for them?

We are lucky we are both writers and both kinda into stationary (I Am a little obsessed with it right now tho) so random stationary makes good gifts for both for each other! Sabo rlly likes those fancy fountain pens and ink and I’m obsessed with sketchbooks / journals / planners... never have too much stationary (ok maybe a little… but it definitely gets used well!!!) Gift giving is one of my main love languages so he has a nice pen collection going now (I like using them too lol)

🍋‍🟩 - (Everyone) similarly, what would your contact names be for each other?

I think Im “Honeybee” in Guzma’s phone (ever since I made a comment abt how i liked that nickname he’s been really abusing it ehehe). I’ve actually changed Guzma’s contact a lot, a lot of silly bug puns rather than his name but it’s “beebee” now to go with my honeybee nickname plus its a nickname I’ve always called him, baby, but,... bees! 

Ingo’s very formal, it’s just my name as my contact name in his phone lol. I had him as “Bingus” in mine for a while but felt bad and changed it to just his name (Ingo 🖤 with a black heart) cuz he’s always so genuinely sweet to me 😭

I’m “Krissy ❤️‍🔥” in Ace’s phone cuz that’s a nickname only he calls me hehe. I tried to be funny and called him “Hot Guy🔥” in mine lol

I’m just Phoe! In Sabo’s phone (with the !) And I add emojis in my contacts so I just have him as “Sabo 🎩” in mine hehe (orr Sbob 🎩 Babo 🎩 you know who it is by the tophat lol)

🫧 - (Everyone) what song(s) remind you of your f/o?

I HAVE SO MANY I tried to narrow it down to a few for each but there are too many important ones to me waaa

🪲 - All is Full of Love (Bjork), Sunglasses (BarbWalters), My House (Flo Rida), I Feel It Coming (Daft Punk/Weeknd), Praise (Fatboy Slim), Good To You (Marianas Trench), Love Like You (Rebecca Sugar)

🚂 -  Anville Town theme, Bright Lights Big City (Takashi Nakatsuka), Dreamin Chu Chu (Hatsune Miku), U (Belle ?) /// Jubilife Village theme, Something About Us (Daft Punk), Far (Umineko)

🔥 - Ring of Fire (ADAM LAMBERT COVER ON AMERICAN IDOL IN 2009 this was a BIG ONE for me from back then and its not on spotify GRRR), Colors of You (Baby Queen), Paradise (Carmody), Staring at the Sun (MIKA), Die with a Smile (Bruno Mars), Love Like You (Rebecca Sugar), You (Dai)

🎩 - ((I don’t have many yet tbh!)) Dearly Beloved (from Kingdom Hearts... and i associate a lot of KH music with him now because he has Sora’s VA haha), Clearest Blue (CHVRCHES), You - Graduation (Dai/Eiko Shimamiya)

[definitelynotshouting]

grian pains me why is he such an angst child (rhetorical but needed to be said nonetheless)

i do have a query, punctuation ranking list mayhaps? em dashes?/lh

im glad our love for the fic and universe helps motivate you, remember to take care of yourself!! us avid readers will wait

He rlly is squeaky-toy coded isnt he [said as i am gripping him and throwing him repeatedly against the wall for my own amusement]

AKSNWKSNSM CALLED OUT MERCILESSLY FOR MY LOVE OF EM DASHES.... THIS IS SUCH A CRUEL WORLD /SILLY

Unfortunately youve activated my editorial trap card bc while i dont know if i can rank punctuation since they all have such specific uses that make them each invaluable i do have an internal system of prioritization for how and when i use them that sorta.. denotes how well they might make a sentence POP

For example: em dashes, semicolons, periods, and commas are my staples. My general rules of use for em dashes and semicolons specifically is that i TRY not to use them in the same sentence more than once or twice per chapter/story, and i try to alternate between them where i can to keep things varied and interesting, depending on whats being written. Both are very good for asides and building on top of the previous sentence!!! Semicolons, however, get SPICY if used for a list >:] and that can be REALLY useful for me if i want to hit hard and fast with a series of particular images!!!

Colons are smth i try to use more sparingly and deliberately, but are REALLY fun bc almost every time i use them its like code for my brain to go "oh so we're going absolutely batshit ham on this next line, got it" skdbwjdkwkdkd. Sometimes that looks like me going crazy with imagery, and sometimes thats just me dropping something i find structurally simple yet achingly poignant. Either way its meant to be a gut punch >:]

Ellipses are something i generally don't use much outside of dialogue with some exceptions (listen if it fits the narration then it fits) but my gods they are SO MUCH FUN within dialogue..... guys when they trail off like irl people do all the time...... tbh the em dash and ellipsis are my bestest friends when it comes to dialogue bc i am so damn obsessed with writing people who sound like people. Thank u tma for upgrading my dialogue significantly<3 podcast fandoms are REALLY good for that to the surprise of absolutely nobody

Exclamation and question marks are very fun to put a lil flavour into your prose too but i also try to use them sparingly outside of dialogue-- i personally feel that if used too much in the prose itself it can read as either a bit childish or like its very blatantly trying to lead you around by the nose. But my gods starting off a story with a question??? That shit ROCKS i love doing it and reading it, its a banger every time. By and large i think my favorite opener to a story ive written so far has to be "What is the definition of a haunting?" from my dsmp fic when the night cries. Good shit your honor good shit

Anyway yeah i dont have much of a tierlist per se but those are my general thoughts on how i personally use punctuation :]

[celestie0]

hello again ellie 😁😁😁

just saw a vid saying guys like to be given the princess treatment like when theyre standing in front of you or youre standing behind them GRAB those hips and pull them close and theyll be so flustered because they are not used to this treatment. also, taking them out on a date saying something like let’s go im taking you out on a date it’s on me 😈 i just KNOW kickoff gojo would fein after this treatment. he’d be probably be really surprised at first but he would go along with it 100% and would also enjoy it. ihm gojo would probably just think it’s funny cuz reader is usually never that bold. the reader also prob did it just to annoy gojo cuz if he can just kiss her she should be able to do that. l&l reader this kind of thing would come naturally to her i think 🤔 i dont think that kind of thing would happen with around the clock gojo and reader though.

anyways, i also saw this post comparing fanfic word count to actual books. most ya romance books are like 60k-80k!!! isnt that crazy??? kickoff is like 100k while ihm is around 60k i think? so yeah i hope youre proud of yourself ellie ;)) cuz that’s a LOT and all those words are an absolute BEAUTY to consume i would snort it up like coke if i could. also i know i said your writing is always amazing but i hope it doesnt stress you too hard to like please the readers to reach a level of “amazing.” your work feels very sincere and i think that’s what makes it so amazing to read. your level of “not good enough” is probably our level of “ im gonna tattoo this on all crevices of my brain so i can reread it 24/7 👅😈🙏” so yeah we tend to be the greatest critiques of ourselves so i hope you arent judging yourself too hard because a lot of your readers will enjoy your work no matter waht!!

anyways i think kickoff gojo would be the type to cuddle in the morning and reader has classes so she’s trying to pry himself out of his death grip and then kickoff gojo is like pleaseeee just stay for a bit longer dont you lovee meee??? you dont love me anymore :((( he is clingy af 🤣🤣

this was supposed to be a short ask but it got so long lol sorry 🐸 i hope youre doing well and staying safe! have a good day 😏😏😏

interestinggg i feel like kickoff gojo would def enjoy princess treatment but i don’t think kickoff reader would ever give that to him LOL…..or ihm reader to gojo tbh. but l&l reader absolutely would cuz l&l gojo is her bb boy. and you’re absolutely right that wouldnt fly w atc gojo 😂😂idk why but atc gojo is giving me toxic masculinity vibes

awwhh thanks darling you’re so sweet 😭💕 i knowww its crazy that i’ve written so much haha i always think that i am not updating often enough etc but i think about it i’ve published close to like 200k+ words so far within the past year! and i appreciate you :) i’ve been learning to let lose a little w the quality of my work so i can enjoy myself better and i think it’s working!

thanks darling <3 you have a wonderful day as well!

[suckishima]

haikyuu rewatch s01e04

it wont seem like it when this posts but ive been away for over a week and havent watched anything since then so im excited to get back to it

"the view from the summit" woooo

oh yeah this is the episode that starts with the quote, and i think the manga has it too? interesting, tbh this still feels a bit like furudate finding their footing in terms of how they wanna go about storytelling. i dont dislike putting the quote in at all, but the sentiment of it (that the six is stronger than the one and how a player feeling special is done for in volleyball) is shown really solidly throughout the series and in general i feel like the show is at its best when the narrative is speaking for itself, so i guess i just dont totally find the quote necessary

ooo i do like how it leads directly into kageyama's pov on his middle school moment tho. that does work pretty well

okay the fact that he literally has nightmares about it too waah

idk if we're supposed to interpret kageyama ignoring hinata while he talks about how pretty shimizu is and whether shes their manager as him being stressed about the upcoming match or just him not giving two shits about whether people are attractive or not (both of which have a fair amount of other evidence imo), and it's probably the former but i think its more fun if i imagine it's both lol

the running gag of tanaka's ear getting big whenever people talk about him ashakjs iirc one of his trivia things on the wiki is 'has really good hearing' or something lmaoo

i know im tsukishima & yamaguchi brained at all times and im super conscious about not over talking about them, but so many questions and curiosities about their dynamic at this point in the story. tsukki is trash talking and yamaguchi is like worried about it?? worried that tsukki wont make friends? or worried tsukki will get in trouble?? either way he seems surprised tsukki is doing it at all, so has he not been doing this often??? that seems odd to me too, especially when last episide yamaguchi was smirking when tsukki was talking down to kageyama. tbhhh its probably just the worried about getting in trouble thing? that (and again, furudate still finding footing about characterization) makes the most sense to me i guess

hinata: "beh!!!"

kono imagination o kakaete !!

lmao tanaka shirt lasso

shimizu seeing hinata jumpppp it never gets old seeing people react to him for the first time lol

yamaguchi standard standing float serve directly into the net and tsukki scoffing in annoyance, ohhhh how far we eventually go :') im fine

really interesting how in kageyama's flashback we see kindaichi yell and tell kageyama his tosses are reckless and whats the point if they cant even spike them, and then internally kageyama is like 'but we can't win if we can't get past their blockers.' his initial reaction is actually about the team and not about his teammates sucking at all, but then he starts to spiral thinking about losing, about not being able to play anymore, about this ending (screams in manga spoilers) and so what he actually says to kindaichi is the infamous 'move faster jump higher!' and obviously they all get offended by that. but the characterization is what's so cool to me there, his main issue here is his lack of communication—how differently would his teammates have reacted if he had just expressed the bit about not being able to get past them? and then much later in the series when he's feeling similarly trapped he does the same thing, he stops talking—except now hinata calls him out for being quiet, and they can right things again (iirc this is in seijoh 1), and i just. the attention to detail to characterization is so good!! the character threads are so consistent!!

aaaaand yeah here's hinata stating his facts. ive essentially made this post before but yeah 'hinata whose grateful for literally any toss plus kageyama terrified of his tosses being ignored equals narrative soulmates'

AAAAAAND tsukki is being a dick about it—but what he says here too says a lot about him as well. 'so straight forward and pure. how irritating' damn how was i not fascinated by these dynamics right off the bat lmao, he clocks hinata exactly and hinata's just done a positive thing, so why doesn't tsukki like it? i simply was too naive have enough faith in the show yet to think these threads would be followed up on lol

holyyyy FUCK the 'i'm here' with hinata in kageyama's eyeball with the same framing as the ignored set from middle school rraaahhh it's ART

"i'm going to do battle with this body, win and win, and be on the court as long as i can" excuse me while i go sob..

the little sound affect when kageyama does the tiny finger point bc they dont have signals yet is so funny lol

god suga is so cool. i hope kageyama thanks him in his ghostwritten memoir, so much of kageyama's eventual success is bc of him and its so coooooooool

ooohoooooo the pinpointtt

and tsukki's acting like reality itself was shattered ahasjas to him it basically was lmao

waaah kageyama is having funnnnn when was the last time he had fun playing volleyball rrraaaaAAAAHHHH furudate ily

ITS A VIEW I COULD NEVER SEE ON MY OWN AAAAAAHHHH

its been four episodes and we're already starting to see this come to fruition—and yet it only keeps getting better!! this show is insane

[slowdripsunrise]

oop okay i havent updated this in longer than i thought lol. spoilers under the cut !

finally read the starless sea by erin morgenstern ! good lord beautiful writing, beautiful imagery, and the stories nestled in between the main plot were so entertaining, just as much as the main storyline. characters were sweet, i wasn't in love with the romance subplot but like. the setting, the books, OUHG. that's really what i was focused on so if other aspects lacked. i dont care tbh. entertaining and fun and just overall gorgeous. not what i was expecting but a pleasant surprise.

next i read godkiller by hannah kaner, also a pleasant surprise ! the world was fun and the characters were interesting, and i'm curious to read the sequel !!! not much else to say about it tbh it was a fun fantasy read and also the audiobook slayed.

next i read the centre by ayesha manazir siddiqi and oml went into this knowing it was about language and well yes. but it's also about a failgirl and her questionable decisions and well i do like that. it's not my favorite but like yeah. yeah i get it. i think sometimes for me when i read books about women that just suck i find it a bit too relatable and start to hate the book like. i start thinking about my failures and problems instead of the characters and then im not interested in the book anymore. especially if the failgirl in question has money. its like well just shut up. sorry thats rude people with money can be sad but also like thats a book character so i dont care shut up. anyway this book was also about language so i liked it !! and cannibalism which was also fun. i loved the conversations about translation as consumption and translation as violence. i'm thinking about becoming a linguistics major at my local college so like. much to think about and digest (lol) i think topics like this are really interesting. overall a fun read !!!

after that i read a teeny tiny little short story the only harmless great thing by brooke bolander and GOD it was so good. like damn the pov changes between the elephants and the humans and like the nuclear waste warning and the elephant's stories and just uhg. ouhg. definitely recommend as like a sad bittersweet aching story

finally, i most recently read everyone in this room will someday be dead by emily austin and well. i'm writing this as a time killer so i don't look like i've just been crying when i go out to register my car LOL. like the beginning didn't quite hook me but im so glad i stuck through because i was absolutely sobbing by the end of it. like full on ugly crying. the characters were all lovely and real even tho some of them were bigoted like barney ... i hope he lives well even if hes super homophobic the author made me feel for every character. and the mc at first i didn't love her because i couldn't quite grasp her reasoning behind some of her decisions or her situation, but once i got further in i really started to see myself in her. which okay going back to the last book like i know i said i didn't like books that are just about failgirls well this one was different...... idk it just hit me the right way. the way she cared so much for every single living being around her made me care for them too, flop the bunny, mittens the cat, grace and rosemary, jeff, etc. like. pretty much every time she cried in the book i was also crying. which is like a lot. i also okay and i haven't examined this fully with myself but i really saw myself in her in regards to her depression and anxiety (i know these are not her only issues but these are just the ones i relate to specifically) and i can't help but reflect on how some of her choices, i probably also would have made if i wasn't were i am today, or if i wasn't medicated, or seeing a therapist, and that i've come pretty far from where i started. which feels really fucking nice. anyways i would recommend reading this if u like sad stories about sad girls that find themselves in The Situationstm. also if you've taken your anxiety meds. bc i forgot and my heart was pounding along with the mcs the entire time almost to the point where i had to put it down lol.