#ITS FUN ITS SO FUN RAMBLING HERE but i think u could show how i talk to a pyschiatrist and theyd be able to tell everything wrong with me

[shaadowmilkcookie]

hi yall! todays warmup! one artist on twitter always draws his hat as a mouth of sorts, but i haven’t seen them in a while, and i missed it.

EDIT i found the artist i stole it from! @ akire_san_ on twitter! they do have an nsfw warning, so only for the older folks. hats off to them for the fun design!

[lunarzstarz]

Jealous

Pairing: Rockstar!EddieMunson x Rockstar!Fem!Reader

Content Warning: NSFW 18+ minors dni, unprotected sex (wrap it b4 you tap it guys!) slight degradation, spanking, edging/denial, slight humiliation?? slightly proofread

Summary: Eddie finally figures out why you've been acting like such a bitch towards him and won't stop until you finally admit it to him (or Eddie fucking you till you admit you're jealous of him getting with other girls (I'm so shit at summaries bye)

A/N: based off of this ask, been meaning to write some rockstar!eddie for a while so I just had to write this, not sure how I feel about it yet, but hope you guys like it!

Also for those asking about the link to the audio mentioned in the original ask here you go: https://soundgasm.net/u/misterblissful/M4F-Its-Not-About-The-Party

(btw I'm making an Eddie Munson taglist so if you're interested just lmk AND TYSM FOR 1K+ FOLLOWERS WHAT?!)

As always, likes, comments and reblogs are very much appreciated <3

Word Count: 2.7k

You had just finished your third encore, the crowd chanting and cheering as you made your way off stage, the rest of the band following, all of you high off that post show buzz. The boys are still shouting and laughing behind you as you head backstage, exhausted after putting on one of your best performances yet. 

Opening the door that had a “Corroded Coffin” sign stuck to it, you’re met with a room filled with a handful of girls, all clad in leather and red lipstick, girls that you noticed the boys had been eyeing up all night, especially Eddie. It was routine for him to pick his favourites and invite them backstage after the show, new girls every night so he could let out some of that adrenaline. 

The girls stare as the rest of the band follow you inside, each of you taking a seat on the beaten up leather couches that were scattered around the room. Eddie sits facing you, already pulling one of the girls into his lap as she congratulates him on such a good show, practically shoving her tits in his face. You fight not to roll your eyes as he thanks her, he really couldn’t care less about what she had to say, cutting off her rambling by shoving his tongue down her throat, she wasn’t gonna protest. 

“Definitely one of our best, the crowd was insane!” Gareth says, lighting up a post show joint, taking a seat on the opposite end of the couch, one of the girls making their way over to him. 

You think about biting your tongue, but when the girl practically started moaning as Eddie groped her, you couldn’t help yourself. “Hmm I don’t know…” you sigh, chipping away at your nail polish. 

Eddie pulls away from the girl, snapping his head in your direction “Here she goes, what now?” 

You hear Gareth and Jeff groan, they knew what was about to happen, it always did after a show. “I don’t know, just think you sounded a bit…pitchy is all” you lie. Eddie played and sang perfectly tonight, you all did, but you knew that commenting on his performance would get under his skin, it always did, maybe even bruise his ego a little. 

He laughs, no humour behind it “pitchy?” 

“Yeah, pitchy” you glare at him “Sounded like you were dying on the fifth song, just saying…” 

“Yeah? Well you were out of tune the whole night, don’t see me commenting on that or the fact you weren’t in time with the band for half the songs” he snaps.

“Me? Your the one who fucked up your solo and-” 

“Right, guys can we not do this tonight? Heads fucking killing me” Gareth groans, sinking further into is seat. 

“No, no, if she has something to say she can say it!” Eddie says, pushing the girl off his lap, she huffs, sulking in her seat, shooting daggers at you for interfering with her fun. 

“Well all I’m saying is it can’t be that hard to sing a few songs” you roll your eyes at him and he scoffs.

“And all I’m saying is, is it that fucking hard to not be a bitch after every show!” He starts raising his voice.

“I’m a bitch? Well you’re a shit singer and a dick, I was only giving you constructive criticism” you shout right back, getting up to leave.

“I’ll give you constructive criticism-” he stands with you and Jeff grabs him.

“Sit down! The both of you need to chill out” he said, sounding exasperated. You and Eddie stare at each other, blood boiling, looking ready to tear one another apart any second now. 

“What is your fucking deal?” Eddie spat, getting in your face this time.

“My deal? My deal is you don’t care about this band or putting on a good show, all you care about getting your dick wet and fucking whores after shows!” You spat right back at him, you weren’t afraid to fight.

Eddie said nothing, but it was like a lightbulb went off in his mind as he stared down at you, his gaze darkening. Jeff urged you back into your seats, Eddie still watching you intently. “Now can I trust you not to rip each other’s throats out while I go call Steph?” Jeff asks, standing between the two, scolding you like children.

The silence was a good enough answer as he disappeared out back to call his girlfriend. You sat back in your seat, lighting up a cigarette, puffing on it angrily, the only thing filling the quiet was the music playing over the staticy speakers and the sound of Eddie’s lips smacking against the girl's neck. 

You couldn’t help but spare a glance at them. She was straddling his lap at this point, his hands gripping at her waist as he attacked her neck. He makes eye contact with you as he slides his hand up her skirt. You swallow hard, tearing your eyes away, if you didn’t leave now he’d probably fuck her in front of you too. 

“I’m going to the bathroom” you announce bluntly, not caring if anyone acknowledged as you stubbed out your cigarette and left. You couldn’t stand to sit there and watch Eddie be with that girl, it was the same every night, girls, girls, girls. He clearly couldn’t get enough of them and most of the time you had no other choice to watch. 

You walk down the corridor, earning a few compliments on your performance from the stage crew on your way. You head into the small bathroom and lock the door. The fluorescent lights flickered above you as you took in your reflection. Hair a bit dishevelled and eyeliner smudged after hours of performing, you sigh, doing your best to fix it.

Checking the time, it was still quite early considering it was a show night, but maybe you should just head back to the hotel? There wasn’t much to do here, you could maybe head out to the bar for a few hours, find yourself someone for the night, but you didn’t feel like it.

You were raking your fingers through your hair, trying to tame it in some way when there was banging on the door “Occupied!” you called, hoping whoever it was would leave. They banged again, harder this time “Hey I said-” 

“It’s me” Eddie’s voice came from the other side. 

“So? I’m busy, go away” you ignore him, going back to fixing your lipstick. 

“Just open the fucking door” he snaps, jiggling he handle. 

You sigh, turning the lock and swinging the door open “What?” He doesn’t give you a second to move before he’s pushing his way inside, almost knocking you over. “Jesus- let me out first!” You shove him, but he locks the door behind himself and blocks you from leaving.

“Let me out you creep!” You push him again but he wouldn’t budge.

“No.” He says, crossing his arms.

“No?” You scoff at him “Eddie get the fuck out of my way.”

“No, not until you admit you’re jealous.”

You look at him, confused “jealous?”

“That’s right” he stands up straighter. 

“Why would I be jealous?” You mirror his stance, keeping up your act.

“I don’t know” he takes a step towards you “I think you’re jealous of me fucking other girls, think you want me all to yourself.”

You step back, though there wasn’t much more you could move, your back hitting the sink “Please..” you sneer, diverting your eyes to the tiled floor.

“No need to beg for it sweetheart” he takes another step closer, placing his arms on either side of the sink, caging you in as he towered over you.

You could feel his smokey breath on your neck as he leaned down “Just admit it and I’ll let you go.”

You took a deep breath, bringing yourself to look up at him, the way he was looking at you, it took everything not to give up your act. “I’m. Not. Jealous.”

He laughs “fine, don’t want to admit it?” he grabs your waist and forces you to turn around.

“Eddie what the-“ he gripped your chin, making you meet his gaze in the mirror.

“Sooner you admit it, sooner you can go” he says, moving your hair out of the way, watching your reflection as he lowers his mouth to your neck. Before you can object, even if you didn’t want to, you feel his teeth grazing over your sensitive skin, tugging it between his lips and soothing his tongue over each bite. 

You hold back from letting any sounds escape, you weren’t giving into him that easily, even if it did feel great. You watch as his hand loosens its grip on your chin, sliding over the expanse of your throat, down to your chest, cupping at your tits through the thin fabric of your tight dress. 

A small sound bubbles in your throat as he pinches your nipples and sucks on that sweet spot behind your ear, you feel him smirk against your skin. “What was that?” he mutters, breath tickling your neck. 

He lets his free hand wander down over your chest and stomach, to the hem of your dress, lifting it up round your waist. You feel his fingers press on the damp fabric of your underwear, dragging them up over your clit.

You bite back a moan, eyes fluttering shut. He pulls away, landing a hard smack to your ass causing you to hiss and buckle forward. You glare at his reflection.

“Want you to watch yourself while I fuck you” he says, hooking his fingers into the waistband of your underwear and dragging them down your legs till they fall around your ankles. 

He stared down at your bare cunt, knocking your legs wider so he could spread you open. He makes eye contact with you as he glides his fingers through your slick “this for me?”

“A-as if” you say, a little breathless, he smiles.

He starts to undo his belt and jeans, you listen to the clinking as he pulls them down his thighs, taking out his cock and stroking himself “See what you do to me? I can admit I want to fuck you, it’s not hard.”

“I don’t want to fuck you” you say through gritted teeth, feeling his hand run through your folds. 

“No? Then why aren’t you stopping me?” He pushes you forward, forcing you to lean on your elbows as he positions himself behind you. “I think this is what you wanted all along, isn't it. Want me to fuck the truth out of you?”

Your silence is all the answer he needs. He grabs your hips, letting a glob of his spit drop onto your folds, grabbing himself by the base to slide his head through it.

You whine, grip tightening on the porcelain, his smug smile only grows as he pushes the tip of his cock into you. You couldn’t stop the gasp that escaped you as you felt him stretching you out, your eyes screwing shut.

He stops, landing another smack to your ass “hey, told you I wanted to you watch” his voice stern.

You force yourself to look at him again as he pushes the rest of his length into you, making you feel impossibly full. “Now I’ll give you one more chance to confess.” 

You stare at his reflection, you hated that he was right, but you weren’t letting him win this time. Admitting to Eddie that the reason you’d been a bitch to him was just because you wanted to fuck him, he’d never let you live it down. “I’m not jealous.” 

“Fine” he sighs, pulling all the way before slamming right back into you. You practically squeal, rushing to cover your mouth with the palm of your hand. Eddie tsks, grabbing both of your wrists and holding your arms behind your back with one hand. 

“Want you to hear how pathetic you sound when I’m fucking you on my cock” he grunts, starting his fast pace, using his grip on your wrists as leverage. You could do nothing but fall into submission, the feeling of him so deep inside, dragging over all those perfect spots, it made you a mess in seconds. 

You watch the two of you in the mirror, Eddie has his lip tucked between his teeth, watching himself fuck into, while you unravel beneath him. “Poor things pulling me in, been neglected for so long hasn’t she” he face pouts at your reflection, you can do nothing but whimper in response, the room filling with the wet sounds of your slick.  

Your whole body was on fire, your arms beginning to ache as he pinned them back. “Fuck- you feel fucking amazing, better than all my whores huh?” he taunts, watching you try so hard to keep your eyes on him. “Bet you knew you were better, bet that's why you were jealous, jealous that they had all my attention and not you?” 

You weren’t giving in. He let go of your wrists, bringing up one of your knees to rest against the sink, hitting you at a new angle that drove you crazy. Pleasure shot through your core, building fast, you collapsed onto the counter, forehead resting against the cool porcelain. Another hard slap to your ass had you rocking back into him. 

“Thought I told you to watch? Pick your head up” he orders, but you can’t, you were so close already, you’d felt like you lost control over your body. 

“I- I can’t” you pant, huffing in defeat, gripping onto the sink so hard your knuckles turned white.

He laced his fingers through your hair, tugging on it harshly, the burn making you moan “Got to do everything for you huh? You that fucking dumb?” you shake your head in response. 

“P-please Eddie- I’m-” you couldn’t finish a sentence, your head was spinning, the knot in your stomach tightening. 

“Please what? You gonna cum?” he asks, reaching around you to rub your clit. 

“Fuck! Please Eddie, please” you beg, feeling yourself approaching the edge of your release. 

“No, not until you admit you wanted this, that you’re oh fuck- not until you admit you’re jealous” he brings you right to the edge, losing it when he feels your walls tightening around him “Don’t you fucking dare cum.” 

Hot tears were streaming down your cheeks from the intensity of it all “P-please I need to-” 

“All you gotta do is admit it, better hurry, so fuckin’ close I’ll cum in you and leave you here to help yourself out” he hisses, he’d been holding off long enough. 

You couldn’t hold on any longer, the ache between your legs growing, you needed your release. Swallowing your pride you make eye contact with him “I-’m sorry for being such a- oh shit-” 

“Come on you can do it, I’m so close baby come on” Eddie was also losing it, watching you fall apart. 

“For being s-such a bitch, I was- I was jealous” you whine, no longer able to keep yourself up. 

“Apology accepted” Eddie grips your hips, pounding into you at a brutal pace “You can cum.” 

You finally let go of all that tension, crying a mantra of his name as you cum, listening to Eddie curse behind you as he empties his load inside of you. “Jesus- fucking- christ-” He pumps into you a few more times, making sure you took every last drop. 

You lay resting against the sink, breathing uneven and legs weak. You feel Eddie pull out, fixing your underwear in place to keep his release inside of you, pulling your dress back down. “Got anything to say about that performance?” he teases, soothing a hand over your back, you groan in response, he laughs. 

“Maybe next time you can be a big girl and come tell me what you want from me instead of being such a brat about it.”

taglist: @reidsaurora-replies @hornyhornyhimbos @niyahwhoreworld @hargrovesswifee @iunaelumen777

[skythealmighty]

why am i just now finding out about thisisnotawebsitedotcom i feel a little stupid.. then again i dont have the Book of Bill so maybe im lucky to know about it ???

#rocket talk #gravity falls #miss this show. anyway twink cipher fuckign jumpscared me

(3 notes)

👓 the-nerdiest-glasses Follow

Why Flatland counts as an object show: an essay

Keep reading

🔧 warp-pipe-sfx Follow

Why Flatland does NOT count as an object show: a rebuttal

Keep reading

⛓️ chainsaw-massacres Follow

why flatland isnt an object show: its a book + movie you assholes

#this argument is fucking stupid its just flatland

(3,821 notes)

🔘 join-my-evil-polycule-deactivated08142020 asked: Im going to tear apart your circuitboard until its broken irreparably

🌈 super-rainbow-epic-computer Follow

lol ok have fun w that 👍

also do u know any recipes for roasted pumpkin seeds the internets failing me rn and im cooking a big dinner for me and my bf

🔘 join-my-evil-polycule-deactivated08142020

Oh yeah sure https://www.jessicagavin.com/how-to-roast-pumpkin-seeds/#wprm-recipe-container-35845

🔘 join-my-evil-polycule-deactivated08142020

Wait why am I telling you this go die I hate you

🌈 super-rainbow-epic-computer Follow

thx for the help!

☝i-date-iconic-posts Follow

Date of origin: November 3rd, 2021

(216,025 notes)

❌ mephonex-deletes-your-favs Follow

~~Welcome to MePhoneX deletes your favs!!~~

I'm mod Xav (the only mod rn - -"), here to cause trauma to your favorite characters :)! PLEASE keep in mind that submissions will take a while to get to, because I have to photoshop out the limbs + background or even completely recreate someone's object if they're transparent!

The background flag is in the header and the X (recreated from an image of MePhoneX) I overlay on top is the profile picture if you want to make your own :) just @ this blog and I'll reblog it!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~❌~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

RULES ABOUT SUBMISSIONS:

NO INANIMATE INSANITY CONTESTANTS. I would like to avoid Apollo's Dodgeball thanks (plus it's insensitive)

No algebralien or algebralien-adjacent characters! I love those guys too I get it but I honestly don't have a good method of 'deleting' them planned. Feel free to do it on your own time though!

If someone asks me to take down a submission with them in it I will do it without questions. This is for a variety of reasons, but I think you get it.

Alright, that's it! Have fun :)

#not xed out #mod xav #pinned post #your fav is #your fave is #mephone #mephonex #inanimate insanity #ii2 finale

(681 notes)

📁 sticky-note-hit-post Follow

has anyone else wondered why this spaghetti code webbed site can connect across DIFFERENT UNIVERSES??? or is that just me

(2,416 notes)

🦀 thesamepictureofbaxtereveryday Follow

follow for the same picture of my crab every day!!!!! look at him :D

(3 notes)

anonymous asked: greeny how does it feel to be technically a higher being than most other people on the site

��� greenyguy Follow

sir this is a wendys

#i didnt order an existential crisis today :(

(37,102 notes)

🎤 screamintothemic Follow

todays liveblog!! B)

🎤 screamintothemic Follow

knife and suitcase made it to the finale!! hell yeah so proud of them

🎤 screamintothemic Follow

balloons talk with suitcase didnt go so well :/ i hope they can get some alone time without anyone else so they can like talk properly next time

🎤 screamintothemic Follow

mepad???

🎤 screamintothemic Follow

oh i think the finale challenge is happening

🎤 screamintothemic Follow

baseball looks worried but lightbulb's brushing him off :|

🎤 screamintothemic Follow

ojs backing away from paper??? wh

🎤 screamintothemic Follow

WHJDT THE FUCK

🎤 screamintothemic Follow

WAIT I HAVENT SEEN SOAP IN A WHILE WHERE IS SHE???

🎤 screamintothemic Follow

OH GOD

#mics ramblings #SOAP???!??

(11 notes)

anonymous asked: evil woman are so hot <3 i will do whatever you want queen

🌐 dr-who-could-never Follow

Awwww, this means a lot to me, anon! Could you find Film Reel for me and doxx him? That would be really helpful <3

#He's been evading me #It's really annoying #Hard to take over the world when I have to worry about him 🙄

(6 notes)

🥄 only-a-spoonful Follow

WHY DO I KEEP GETTING SENT ASKS ABOUT PREGNANCY?!

#I'M GOING TO QUIT TUMBLR AT THIS RATE.

(47,284 notes)

📗 journal-of-secrets Follow

if this fuckass hand keeps showing up at the edge of my vision i'm going to hit something

📗 journal-of-secrets Follow

#maybe hes in love with you

what the hell is wrong with you.

[lovieku]

GOOD LUCK, BABE! #3 ⋆ 정국

what happens when you leave everything behind, only to be faced with it again years later? eunbi is convinced she was given another shot at keeping all she ever wanted, but it’s difficult when that all is her childhood best friend who doesn’t want to do anything with her anymore. how to earn his trust back?

☾ pairing: non idol!jk x fem!oc

☾ genre: childhood friends to strangers, friends to lovers, angst, fluff, smut

☾ word count: 9k +

☾ warnings: explicit language. say hi to eunbi!!! and to the friend group!!! its a bit funny until it becomes angsty … ouch. jeongguk is a bitch lowkey. pun unintended (you’ll see). theyre dramatic as hell. like bro it cant be that serious 😭. im sawrry for this. and its not all!!! see you in fourth chapter 🫡

☾ author’s note: hi hi hi!!! this took a bit to fully convince me but in the end it did. i was frustrated because i felt like i couldnt really use my words properly to tell the whole thing but… here we are now!!! thank u!!! enjoy 🫶🏻

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three ⋆ this is me trying

Up to that point, Eunbi’s life has been a constant adjusting to new surroundings, leaving bits and pieces behind, getting attached to new ones, and hoping they wouldn’t be taken away from her. It would always end up as she feared it would, though. From as early as she can remember, Eunbi would live off her blue backpack, where she gathered a toothbrush, a change of clothes and her favourite plushie to help her sleep and adapt faster to the smaller bed at her dad’s house. When her parents had divorced, it had been a rough patch before the both of them could come to a legal agreement; that being, she would spend the weekend with her father, and then stay with her mother again until Friday rolled around.

She rarely looks back at those days now, but when she does — mostly at night, her mind seemingly incapable of putting a stop to her furious flow of thoughts and just sleep — she thinks if it hadn’t happened to her when she was still pliable and mouldable, when she was yet to be met with what ordinariness was supposed to look like for others, she wouldn’t have been ready to wholly face all that followed. Eunbi was young when she learned that love between two people could end so easily, and her innocent self accepted that as the norm.

As a result, what she found harder to accept, more than her own mother and father not even being able to stand next to one another without ending up quarrelling, was having to leave her small black poodle in Gwangju, with her grandma, after moving away to Busan. Curly (little Eunbi had given him that name for obvious reasons, and to this very day she finds it dumb, but it makes her giggle nonetheless) had been a great companion through the inevitable loneliness she had to face as an only child. She was convinced he could understand her better than no other, even when she would force the tiny creature to sit and listen to her ramble on.

Busan was the next big change that was pushed onto Eunbi, only a few years after her mother got engaged to a man that would soon replace her biological father: with time, sleeping over at his house for the weekend was no longer even a contemplated thought on his side, coming up with excuses after excuses as not to, and that slowly led to showing less and less interest in keeping up with her and meeting up. The little girl had always been numb in relation to such negligence, and because of this she could consider herself lucky in some distorted sense; it didn’t affect her as much as it should have.

Part of that was also due to her step-dad being a great father figure during the initial times of his and her mom’s relationship, making sure to adapt to Eunbi’s pace and boundaries, never overstepping while also being able to bring fun into her life by taking the family out to visit places and eat delicious meals. What he couldn’t do for her, however, was live with a dog. When he and her mother decided to finally move together following their wedding, they both agreed on wanting to restart from a brand new place. Busan was their perfect pick for a variety of reasons: her mom got offered a job at a recently established company that seemed promising, and her step-dad could fulfil his deep-rooted dream of expanding his by starting a new branch.

Every single thing about him seemed perfect to her mom’s eyes, even if he was apparently deathly allergic to dog’s fur. And, of course, she picked her husband over Curly. Eunbi couldn’t believe it, nor accept it. The girl cried over the small dog for the two weeks prior to moving, during the trip to Busan, and for the following days there. Her grandmother would keep her updated by sending pictures of Curly through email, and even after the scar had healed, those would never fail to make her tear up.

As shameful as it might be to admit it, after having dried herself from half the water that made up her body because of the constant crying, it didn’t take long for the scar to close. When she first stepped foot in the big city by the seaside, Curly showed up right in front of her. Just in human form. Big eyes, long black hair and puppy manners, her neighbour was definitely sent to her by something greater. Eunbi was obsessed. It didn’t show at first, her pride prevailing. But it was harder and harder to fight against it. Jeongguk was simply too easy to love.

They became inseparable. Wherever he was, better believe she was there too, attached at his hip. And if they showed up alone, people would naturally ask about the other. Because the moon is never seen without its stars, and sunflowers only ever turn to face the sun. Their bond could be perceived by anyone as unbreakable, a friendship to envy and wish for, and every brick that built it had resulted in the creation of their own safe haven that only had space to contain the two of them. Not anybody else could be let in, the bubble exclusively recognised their password. It wasn’t composed of words, or numbers. It was the look of understanding they would share; the white lies used to cover the mischief of the other; their own handshake, accompanied by an original friendship jingle that Eunbi came up with randomly; the assurance that they could reveal their biggest secrets to one another, and they’d be kept like an oath.

There’s many of those that Eunbi shamelessly revealed to Jeongguk, some with intent and others unleashed spontaneously during their many endless talks. But when she thinks of it, she never admitted the single one that really mattered, the one that her best friend in the whole world needed to know, and remember. At all times. In any circumstance. It wasn’t a secret, it was more a result of her pondering; it came to a full reasonable thought only years later, and by then it was too late to tell him.

Eunbi thinks, and she’s sure, Jeongguk was the reason why all that came before the two of them had to happen. If it didn’t, she would have spent her whole life looking for that missing puzzle piece: under the cushions of the couch, in between her bed sheets, accidentally thrown away in the bin. It was as if all the hardships she experienced were justified, because at the end of the tunnel Jeongguk was waiting for her. And everything finally made sense. The puzzle was complete. Jeongguk was the reason himself. He was sent to teach her an important lesson: everything happens for a reason. There’s a cause and an effect, and even if the cause was suffering, at least the effect was her favourite boy.

Then, a gust of wind had wiped the puzzle to the ground, every single piece losing its place. When her best friend was taken away from her, she stopped being so convinced with the thought she herself had harboured, because she suddenly couldn’t find the meaning behind such a cruel fate. If everything really happened for a reason, then what was it? Jeongguk helped her see colours, only to return to black and white. Leaving him behind had marked the death of a version of herself that she would never get back.

Seoul was big, and harder to adjust to, even more with the baggage she was now dragging behind. Unpacking it, she found out all she had brought with her was a shattered trust and a soon to be broken promise to never get attached again. It was hard to be faithful to such an imposition, when Eunbi was born to give out love. It was hidden in that luggage, in between fears and regrets, but surely present.

And it prevailed in the end. Even at a slower pace, love found its way up and helped a lost Eunbi navigate the big capital city, promising new beginnings and healing. She found that in the faces of people that she would then start to recognise as friends, inside warm cafes during the coldest days of winter, and in the certainty that no matter where she is, she is always looking up at the same moon.

What she has built in Seoul so far feels the closest to stability that she has experienced in years. Starting university and meeting Dahye was the last bit of convincing it took to make her consider once again that a reason could exist, and that in the end it would make sense. Maybe not totally. Maybe just partly is enough after all.

Until, seeing a pair of familiar starry eyes in the midst of dull ones was all she needed to firmly believe in what she had been finding hard to accept. It took one shared look for past and present to get blurred together, and the mixture of old with new feelings created a mess. It was nice, nonetheless. Better than the seemingly impossible to get rid of emptiness at the pit of her heart.

Behind her eyes, Eunbi could see the puzzle slowly reaching its final form again, this time with more missing pieces, but the image was at least recognisable. When Jeongguk showed up in front of her again like magic, she contemplated becoming religious. Getting to her knees and starting praying to whatever greater force was shining on her path to please keep doing that. None of that showed on the outside, her smile breaking and mirroring the expression on the boy’s face. Pure sorrow. She knew she was probably the last person on earth Jeongguk wanted to see, and the fact that he wasn’t even trying to mask it didn’t help.

The most rational response she could come up with at that moment was to act as if nothing ever happened. And then, the bricks that a long time ago held together their safe bubble were being used by the boy to raise a high wall between them, making sure accessing his space would be impossible for Eunbi. Who could blame him? Still, the happiness she shamelessly felt when Jeongguk showed up at her 20th birthday party was too consuming, she selfishly wished for the rest of her birthdays to always look like that as she blew the candles. Nonetheless, when he suddenly left sprinting on his bike she knew the gods would need time to grant her desire. Although, this time around she had faith.

She doesn’t know how long it would take for it to break, though. September getting closer and closer only means that Jeongguk’s birthday is just around the corner. As part of his friend group, she had been involved in the process that led to organising the surprise camping trip, even if she didn’t exactly participate. After all, she doesn’t get to say she knows the boy better than anyone, anymore. Jeongguk has evidently changed, and as a consequence she knows way less about him than the others.

For that exact reason, Eunbi had made various attempts to back down from the trip, fearing her presence could significantly ruin it for the celebrated boy. At first, she tried to be casual about it with Dahye, since she’s the only one she’s opened up to about the whole dilemma, “I think it’s better if I don’t come. After all, it’s a friend trip. I’m not really his friend.” To which her roommate only replied with bullshit, proceeding to type away on her keyboard. That did not help whatsoever.

Then, the night she was too tipsy to take a taxi back home and Jeongguk had offered her a ride on his bike, she came home with a smile on her face only to burst out crying in front of a just as drunk Dahye. In between sobs, she begged to be left out of the trip, “Ple- Please, Dahye. He hates me. I can’t stand it.” Her friend tried to shush her whines, pushing Eunbi’s head on her chest and consoling her, “He doesn’t, baby. I’m sure he doesn’t.”

As a result of that night, Dahye had then sat her friend down with the intent of fully convincing her to be present for Jeongguk’s birthday trip for a number of reasons, “It would be rude to not show up after he was there for your birthday. And also, what if you two end up talking about… things! And everything gets solved! That would be nice, wouldn’t it, Bibi?”

Eunbi had just nodded all the way through the motivating speech, not really understanding nor believing her words, but apparently they were enough to lead her to the present moment: awkwardly squished between Dahye and Jimin on the couch of her flat, while they animatedly converse with the others to approve on the trip schedule. She has never felt so out of place before, not only because she doesn’t feel like she has a say in the whole discussion, but also because as time went by the two friends by her side kept shifting to subtly get closer to one another, not realising they were compressing her body in the process. To the point she is forced to get up, the position she was in being too uncomfortable, and sit on the ground under the couch next to Namjoon.

She can feel her movements being followed by a pair of curious eyes, and when she looks up to meet them, she finds out they belong to the origin of all her worries. Before Jeongguk can divert his attention elsewhere, aware he was caught observing, she gives him a quick tight lipped smile. It goes dismissed, as if it hadn’t happened. Ouch. It’s okay, Eunbi can take it. She used the few days prior to this to mentally prepare. She knows she’s not exactly welcomed anywhere near him, that’s why she made a silent secret pact within herself: whatever happens during the trip, don’t be a bother to Jeongguk. Stay away from him as much as possible, and if not possible, then do anything to avoid putting that frown on his face, exactly the one he’s sporting right now. On a second thought, if just looking at her gets him to react like that, maybe it’s best to mentally wipe that off her list of things to keep in mind for Jeongguk’s birthday camping trip.

With there still being a day left before their minibreak takes off, the girl can already tell it’s going to be hard to follow the flow of that list, Jeongguk making it obvious her presence could have been avoided before the vacation has even started. Still, she remains composed and brushes off what had just happened, instead focusing on the main topic of conversation.

The group (Hoseok) has decided to meet to go over the schedule one last time because, “Everything needs to be perfect, guys. We can’t afford to slip!” It’s still Hoseok talking. Eunbi learned that he had always been the one in charge of organising events and little getaways when it came to the friend group, his obsession with keeping everything under control coming in handy in such scenarios.

Not only that, but the reddish haired guy is also amazingly quick on his feet, and in a relatively short amount of time he has managed to find the perfect excursions and experiences to go over during the trip, making sure every day spent together would be filled with fun activities that he knows the birthday boy is going to look forward to. In between what he has arranged there is cycling, canoeing, trekking, and more stuff that Eunbi can’t keep up with. Surviving this is going to be made ten times harder by the amount of energy that is going to be expected out of her. She sighs at the thought, looking down at her manicured nails. She just got them done, and now they would surely break.

It takes a few seconds for her to realise the sudden silence that fell above the room, and when she looks back up she’s met with eleven pairs of eyes staring at her. She straightens her posture, suddenly too aware of being perceived, and she deduces her previous exhale had been released with more energy than intended. Hoseok sweetly smiles at her, “Anything you don’t agree on, Eunbi?”

The panicked girl opens her mouth to justify herself, her eyes getting wider and shinier with embarrassment, but Dahye beats her to it, “Bibi, didn’t you say you, like, hate cycling? I’m sure we had a whole conversation about it.“

Eunbi is mortified. Her eyes jump from Dahye to Jeongguk, trying to get her best friend to shut up while also registering the boy’s scoff and muted roll of his eyes. Oh god. Her whole be-lowkey-and-make-yourself-unnoticed plan just shattered in a matter of seconds. She can feel Jeongguk’s eyes bore flaming holes into her skull, his arms crossed and his legs furtherly stretching out on the armchair. If she still had a small, tiny hope left that he didn’t fully hate her, she just witnessed that shattering in pieces too.

She quickly shifts to sit on her heels, her hands frantically shaking to try and save her face for what she could, “No, what? I love cycling. Seriously, I’d do it everyday if I could.” She chuckles shakily while subtly shoving Dahye’s knee next to her to signal going with the lie. At first, Dahye looks clearly confused: she was so sure of that information about her roommate. She furrows her brows, looking down at a panicky Eunbi widening her eyes. It takes only a few more seconds for her to suddenly get it, shaking herself from her doubts and catching the ball, “Oh, right! You do! I got it confused with, huh… something else.” The girl mutters that last part only to join her friend in a nervous laugh, and an apologetic smile. Best believe Dahye is going to hear about this later.

Hoseok looks just as puzzled as the others, but nonetheless he nods, announcing the schedule has been officially confirmed. A collective acclaim fills the room, only for the boy to stop it with a raise of his pointer finger, “Now, I will assign you guys in your respective cars.” Which is comically followed by a joint groan, and some protests. Hoseok ignores them, and goes on reading off his perfectly planned out Word document.

”Namjoon is the first driver, and he’s travelling with Iseul, Seokjin and Sora,” he looks up to briefly check with the mentioned members to see if there are any complaints, then proceeds. “We’ve got Yoongi with me, Aera and Taehyung. Then…” Hoseok squints his eyes while scrolling down the document, and those few seconds of silence are enough for Eunbi’s thoughts to anticipate what is about to follow. She lowers her head, unwilling to meet Jeongguk’s glare when Hoseok says, “Jeongguk is driving with Jimin, Dahye and Eunbi. All set?”

The positive response is quick, even too rushed and disregardful of what was said, as Namjoon and Taehyung have been impatiently begging for the never-ending organising to be over so they could order food and finally fill their starved stomachs. No one pays any mind to it, but Eunbi and Jeongguk stay quiet, while Jimin and Dahye share a knowing look. Tomorrow is going to be a long day.

The evening is spent in the cramped living room of Eunbi and Dahye’s shared flat, eating pizza and letting a random movie play, which soon only functioned as a background noise the moment Taehyung started a game of Would You Rather. Even if Yoongi initially shushed him, everyone eventually became more delighted with Seokjin’s unthinkable suggestions than with the film, “Would you rather be trapped in a small room with 10,000 tarantulas for 10 minutes, or eat 10 tarantulas in 10 minutes?”

Eunbi tries to let herself be distracted by the content smiles on her friends’ faces, even feels less distressed when she notices Jeongguk relaxing as well, but that doesn’t stop her mind from overflowing with all the things that could potentially go wrong. It inevitably shows on her face, and in her unusual quietness. She has been pondering on the last information Hoseok had shared about the confirmed schedule for hours now, worrying it was going to start the trip on the wrong foot. There were all the best intentions to not poke the sleeping bear, but she fears being in the same car as him is going to stir him awake.

After the group leaves the apartment at past 1 a.m., Hoseok checking with everyone that they’ll show up at 8 sharp tomorrow morning in front of the same building they’re now parting ways from, Eunbi releases a long sigh as she closes the door behind her shoulders. Dahye catches the look on her features immediately, taking her pretty face in between her palms, “I’m sorry for earlier. I was trying to help.” She pouts, and it makes the shorter girl chuckle.

Eunbi shakes her head, dismissing her apology with a small it’s okay, and freeing herself from her friend’s hold so as to avoid meeting her eyes, instead busying herself with tidying up the mess in the living room. Her flatmate looks at the strangely silent girl narrowly, “What are you thinking? Please, don’t let it be something stupid like I don’t wanna drive in Jeongguk’s car.”

When all Dahye is met with is silence, she knows that specific something stupid is flowing in the other girl’s head. Eunbi spends the next hour packing and letting Dahye think she’s wholly convincing her distressed roommate nothing could go wrong from just being close to each other, and if anything, it could be a starting point.

For the sake of getting at least three hours of sleep before the long drive ahead, Eunbi fake promises her friend that she won’t let such thoughts haunt her mind and stop her from enjoying the holiday (she was forced to repeat those exact words) knowing she’s going to let them do precisely that. She also ends up staying awake all night either way, trying to come up with a reasonable excuse that she can use to ask Hoseok if a small change would be possible, hoping it wouldn’t be too much of a hassle to him and his perfect plan.

When the following morning rolls around, the group gathers in the courtyard of the flat complex as instructed hours earlier by Hoseok, who looks like he’s on the verge of a serious crisis when it’s one minute past 8 a.m. and Taehyung still hasn’t shown up. Eunbi fears for her life when she taps his shoulder as delicately as she can, still unable to avoid a jumpy reaction from the boy, who then relaxes when he sees the girl’s sweet smile. That lasts for about one second, because when Eunbi softly asks him if they can talk he’s back to puffing out panicky breaths.

She hesitates a moment before uttering in one single exhale, “I’d rather not go in Jeongguk’s car.” Faced with Hoseok’s perplexed stare, she goes on explaining in a rushed, messy speech, “It’s nothing personal, really. It’s just- Iseul! Yeah, Iseul begged me to be in the car with Dahye… She doesn’t know Sora that well so she said it would be way too awkward. I can go with Namjoon!” She ends it by trying to sport a convincing grin on her lips, but with the way it looks like she’s being held at gunpoint to smile it’s doing the exact opposite, not helping in hiding her own panic at all.

Hoseok takes a few seconds to process her request and read her expression, but in the end he just shrugs and nods enthusiastically, “That’s okay!” He then claps his hands twice, recalling the others’ attention who comically snap their heads in unison, hanging on the boss’ lips, “Tiny change. Eunbi doesn’t wanna be in Jeongguk’s car, so she’s going with Namjoon.”

For the second time in under 24 hours, Eunbi is so embarrassed she prays the ground to swallow her whole. Hoseok doesn’t seem to be making a big deal out of the way he worded his announcement, busy typing away on his phone, probably updating his Word document with the recent change. The others don’t look too fazed either, accustomed with the two infamously not being too fond of each other for no apparent reason, except for Dahye and Jimin: the former is looking at the girl incredulously; the latter has shifted his attention to his best friend.

Eunbi can feel cold sweat dripping down her forehead, the weight of the world crushing on her shoulders. She’s afraid to follow Jimin’s line of vision, but as she slowly does, it leads her to meet Jeongguk’s intense gaze, a slight pissed scowl hardening his features along with his brows almost meeting at the bridge of his nose. His all black attire composed of an oversized t-shirt, cargo bermuda shorts and chunky sandals matches perfectly with the look on his face. He seems confused, and unnerved. And sad? This is not how things were supposed to unfold.

Under such pressure, the girl impulsively releases a nervous laugh, her whole face red with awkwardness, “It’s not like I didn’t- Okay! I’ll just go wait in the car.” Her head hangs as she distances herself from the group, finding an escape from Jeongguk’s disappointment in Namjoon’s car. She bangs her head on the dashboard a few times, making the most of the last minutes alone she’s getting before departure.

Starring in that shitshow was not on her list of things to keep in mind for Jeongguk’s birthday camping trip in any way. On the contrary, what she has been trying to do is going by the rules of the list itself: stay away from Jeongguk and don’t be a bother. Instead, the opposite seems to be happening every time she attempts to be nice to him so as to not be a hassle during the trip. Releasing a shaky breath, she hopes her intentions wouldn’t be misinterpreted by the boy, as she tries foolishly convincing herself the telepathy between them still exists, at least to a small extent. She was only doing this for him. To make it easier for him. Please, please send this telepathic message to Jeongguk.

Connection probably isn’t working too well, because when they all get to the destination after a fairly long ride, Jeongguk still looks pissed, shutting the car door with more energy than required and unloading the luggages, taking his and Iseul’s to the entrance of the camping site. Eunbi narrows her eyes as she observes the scene, the short haired girl thanking the previously annoyed boy and effortlessly putting a smile on his lips, and she almost doesn’t notice Namjoon urging her to move. She abruptly shakes herself out of that trance, relaxing her hands that had subconsciously closed into fists, and takes her bags out of the car. As she clumsily drags them on both of her shoulders, her Converses do little to protect her soles from the rocky ground, and she groans. It’s not like she was expecting Namjoon to carry her baggage, she can do it herself. But as she keeps watching Jeongguk easily handling all that weight, she huffs.

The campsite looks amazing. The space that the group has at their disposal is huge and wholly surrounded by nature, making it the perfect getaway from the chaos of the city. Not too far, in between trees, a glimpse of the sun reflecting its rays in a large lake can be caught. Eunbi witnesses an excellently carried out jam session, with the lively enthusiasm of her friends on microphone, birds on percussion and cicadas on bass. She smiles, and sighs contentedly. Dahye’s words from last night echo in her head, don’t let this stop you from enjoying the holiday, and today she wants to believe them. She’s glad she chose to wear jeans shorts instead of cargos, the heat slowly but surely rising, and a flowy white top that keeps her fresh, for now.

Hoseok instructs them to get to work, and they do. All their bags are gathered under a big ancient tree as each couple and trio starts (tries) setting their tents. While they’re busy figuring out how to ensure the tent won’t fly away, which Taehyung fears particularly, Jimin and Jeongguk offer themselves to go and fill everyone’s water flask at a nearby drinking fountain they had found. Eunbi kneels down to fish hers out of a blue backpack and goes to hand it out to Jeongguk, who’s collecting Dahye’s bottle. The boy smiles at her friend, but it gets wiped off when he shifts his gaze on Eunbi’s shorter figure. The moment is brief, and awkward: her big unsure eyes stare into his hardened ones, arm extended out to him, wondering if there might be something funny on her face for him to turn so serious; she hesitantly lifts her brows, waiting for something; Jeongguk looks her up and down, only to not acknowledge her water flask, and just walks past her.

Eunbi is dumbfounded, the tip of her ears reddening as she remains paralysed with her hand out, even after Jimin collects her flask, muttering something close to Don’t mind him, please accompanied by an apologetic smile. She regains consciousness of her surroundings only when, beside her, Dahye can’t help the snort coming out of her mouth, trying but failing to save it with her hand. The still shocked girl slowly turns to face her amused friend, mouth slightly agape and left eye clearly twitching, “Did he just… act as if I don’t exist.”

The situation shouldn’t be funny, but to Dahye it’s the peak of comedy as she keeps giggling the more the slow realisation of what has just happened shows on Eunbi’s features. Obviously, the latter can’t find one single reason to laugh about it, whining while the taller girl pats her shoulder, still smiling, “You really need to talk to him.”

The targeted girl ignores that, biting her nails nervously, ”Was he saying anything about… me, in the car?”

Dahye lifts her brows, shaking her head, ”Nothing. He’s probably talking shit about you with Jimin, though.” Eunbi follows her pointed finger and catches Jeongguk animatedly discussing with his flatmate, balancing the bottles in his arms, before they turn a corner. Eunbi fusses, lightly tugging on her braided pigtails, and she feels helpless as even the friend who’s supposed to be supporting her through all of this is chuckling at her. Despite being shorter, when Eunbi shoves Dahye’s shoulder she manages to make her stumble, but that doesn’t stop her laughs, though.

”You’re building the tent on your own.” Arms crossed and pout on, Eunbi isn’t joking as she goes to sit under the tree surrounded by bags and ignores her name being called out. Rather than reacting to it, she spots tiny bugs between the grass and inspects them for a while, pretending it keeps her distracted from what’s plaguing her mind. Soon after, with her knees to her chest, watching those ants working to transfer food from one side to the other inevitably gets her lost in her thoughts. What is she doing wrong? There’s clearly unresolved problems between her and the boy who brutally ignored her existence minutes ago, but she thought maybe if she started seeking for truce, then he would too. His response, instead, makes her realise no matter how much she tries, it’s apparently not enough to mend what happened all those years ago. She messed up worse than imagined.

The constant pondering makes her lose track of time, and she comes back to reality with undesired outcomes that she convinces herself to be true. When she recovers from the (as she has deduced, deserved) humiliation, Dahye has already set up half of the tent and Eunbi walks over to her bashfully, “Sorry for being childish. I’ll finish this, Hye.” The girl just smiles softly and nods, sending her a flying kiss that makes Eunbi chuckle before taking her previous spot under the tree. At least Dahye doesn’t hate her.

It takes her a while to figure out what to do but she soon grasps how hard a seemingly simple task can be, feeling bad for letting Dahye do a great part of it on her own. Still, she needs to work fast as lunch time is approaching, and everybody around her is almost finished. She has been crouching on a particular spot on the ground for a while now, trying to properly secure an angle of the tent unsuccessfully. Until she groans exasperated, puffing her hair out of her vision and lifting her body up to find a solution. She tries stomping on it a few times, but it doesn’t work, and if anything it worsens the situation. Huffing out, with her hands on her hips she looks around for help, and the first person her eyes fall on is Jeongguk.

He was already staring at her, comfortably sitting on a deckchair with his legs spread and sunglasses on. His tent looks perfectly set already, with Jimin seemingly fixing the inside of it. His hand is covering his mouth before he uses it to lift his glasses over his head, and is that a smirk? They both stare at each other in silence, Eunbi still struggling to breathe, and she hesitates slightly until her eagerness to be over with the tent becomes stronger. She speaks up to make herself heard over the small distance, “Can you- help me?”

Jeongguk narrows her eyes at her, initially not answering but not even moving from his relaxed position. The girl is ready to be met with silence again, but it’s something worse when he opens his mouth, “I think Namjoon would be happy to do that.” He’s as stern as ever as he returns the sunglasses on the bridge of his nose, furtherly spreading his whole body on the chair and facing the sun. Only then, he releases a content sigh, smiling slightly.

All of this cannot be real. What does that even mean? Eunbi can feel her eye start to twitch again and she needs to clench her jaw to stop it. It’s okay. Breathe. She unexpectedly but successfully manages to hold herself from exploding on him, both overwhelmed with tent building and frustrated with his behaviour. She can’t really decipher what led him to not only act cold, as he usually is with her, which is fine, but also mean! But no problem, she’ll try once again. It costs nothing to be nice. And she tells herself she’ll stay that way, even if she’s met with the opposite, until he breaks.

The storm of negative emotions tormenting her thoughts can be distortedly seen as a good thing on one side, if she considers that the sudden adrenaline flowing in her body gets her through most of the task without any help, even mindlessly, while she keeps reflecting on the interaction and the previous ones. Why the fuck would Namjoon be happy to help her? Well, he would, he’s naturally a helper, but why did Jeongguk say that? Is he really that pissed about her going in his car? She tries to understand, she really does. Keep being nice is what she tells herself instead.

When the tent is finally up, only with Dahye’s finishing touches, and food is finally in her stomach, refilling her energy tank, it’s like there’s a switch going off in her head, making it seem as if nothing bad has ever happened. Eunbi is back to her talkative self with a full tummy and a bashful grin while her best friend teases her for the earlier tantrum she went on about, but at least it’s all smiles again.

The first day at the campsite is spent basking in the slowness that follows after ticking off the only two activities planned for today on Hoseok’s schedule: setting their tents and preparing meals for lunch and dinner. The boss then instructs the group on just getting acquainted with their surroundings, and they don’t need to be told twice, making the most out of those short remaining moments of ease.

The rest of those hours are used to laze by the huge lake, in between swims and sunbathes. Luckily, Eunbi had packed a few bikinis and she chose to wear a black set, its laces meeting at the back with a bow. Sitting back and taking it easy, before all that she will be faced with the next few days, gives her a chance to get closer to the others. During the earlier drive, she had the opportunity to chat with Sora and discover the sweetheart she truly is, and the car was then easily filled with laughter, mostly provided by Namjoon and Seokjin’s terrible jokes. She now sits by Sora on a beach towel, all the other girls in a circle catching up and laying by the sun. In the back of their gossip session, the boys could be heard laughing and squealing, and the sound reminded Eunbi of sweet childhood. She briefly shifts her attention to them and smiles when she observes how they’re doing the most to tire their energy out, from using a rope hanging by the branch of a tree to leap into the water, to initiating a volleyball match using one of their rolled up towels.

Eunbi grows even fonder than before of the people she’s surrounded with, the earlier stress leaving her body and being replaced by serenity, a small sigh released from her lips before she returns to listen to the girls’ chat. She laughs at something Dahye says and jumps on it excitedly, making the others chuckle at the two friends eagerly recounting one of their craziest uni experiences so far.

All of it is short lived when Taehyung and Jimin suddenly drop a water balloon over their heads, a collective gasp filling the space followed by the two boys’ childish giggles and Dahye’s screams, getting up to run after them. They all spend the rest of the afternoon trying to get back at each other with more pranks, bathing in the lake’s cold water and taking silly group pictures to seal the day. As the sun begins to set, they all sit on their towels and silently observe nature, definitely too tired to speak, and preferring to savour the sweet moment.

When the sun finally leaves its place for the moon to rise and the group of friends gets back to their tents, their stomachs growling signal it’s time for dinner. They take turns to shower using the nearby public structure and then help setting a campfire to cook. It also works as a very needed source of heat, given the temperature has significantly dropped and their bodies are still humid from washing up. Eunbi wears the grey cargos she had discarded earlier this morning when deciding on what to put on, and a white tee, her damp hair falling on her shoulders and making her feel slightly chilly. She comes up beside Yoongi to help him with the meat, benefiting from the warmth of the fire.

There’s not much talk between the two, only the older boy advising her to be careful of the flames every two minutes, but it’s comfortable. Eunbi still has a hard time reading through Yoongi, and maybe it’s what she enjoys the most about him: his aura is soothing and it exudes security. He doesn’t exactly show it, but he’s deeply attentive and caring of his friends, and the girl feels safe next to him. She can sense him looking over at her while the meat is cooking, and as she turns to him she meets his eyes with a smile. He ponders, scanning her face “You got sunburnt. You need to wear sunscreen tomorrow, or it’ll get worse.”

Eunbi chuckles, dragging her pointer finger up and down her red nose, “Yeah, I know. It kinda hurts but it looks like I have natural blush now!”

Yoongi shakes his head with a small amused scoff, “That’s stupid, Eunbi. Wait for me here, I’ll go get you an after-sun cream.” And even as he walks off, he reminds her to not stay too close to the fire. She thinks that’s an exact demonstration of what the boy is truly like in her head.

The girl keeps grilling the meat, humming unknown melodies under her breath, and she almost misses a broad figure sitting on one of the chairs surrounding the fire. When she looks up, it’s Jeongguk avoiding her eyes and instead staring at the flames, their light reflecting in his big orbs and making them shinier. He wears his bermudas from earlier, but he now has a grey Stussy hoodie on top of it. His locks are still wet after freshly coming out of a shower, and they curl on his forehead, making him look like a poodle. She smiles. It’s like 15 years old Jeongguk is there with her again, his bare, exhausted face and droopy eyes taking her back to Busan. Without even realising what she’s doing, she extends a cooked piece of meat his way, “You want some?”

Startled, the boy breaks from his spacing-out and registers the request. He looks between Eunbi and the meat, gulping. He licks his lips, and she swears she can also hear his stomach rumbling. When he keeps ogling the food without replying, she wiggles the fork and his eyes follow its every movement, as if hypnotised. Then, he suddenly screws his eyelids shut and breaks from the trance, simply shaking his head no and fishing his phone out of his pocket, mindlessly scrolling on it. Just like that, she’s back to the present, and Jeongguk hates her. Eunbi narrowly glares at him while he can’t see her.

Yoongi comes back soon after with two different creams in his hands, and he gives them to Eunbi with a chuckle. She thanks him and lets him take over the cooking, while she curiously inspects the products, still standing next to the fire. When Yoongi spots his younger friend on the chair, he asks the same exact question as her, forking a piece of meat, “You want some?”

Jeongguk’s attention is back up, this time on Yoongi, and when he sees what his hyung is referring to he eagerly nods. Eunbi interrupts her examination just in time to see the boy hungrily shoving the food in his mouth, brows furrowed and praising noises accompanying his munching, making the older friend by her side chuckle. Instead, the girl is once again in disbelief, even more as he watches Jeongguk patting his knee with force, satisfied with the bite, “Hyung, this shit is so good. I want more.”

Eunbi scoffs imperceptibly, leaving the scene with an annoyed scowl wrecking her pretty features. As she enters her tent, she’s glad Dahye is still showering as she makes the most of that isolating moment. She sighs wearily and whips out her phone. Using its camera, she tries to ignore her tumbling emotions and instead puts on the creams Yoongi had given her, but not even those are enough to distract her. She’s still incredulous at what she’s being put through, her patience wearing thin, and the pact she made with herself before coming here is dangerously close to being broken.

Dinner is spent with good food and even better people, and only then Eunbi visibly untenses again. In between bites and full mouths, they go from discussing random facts to casually engaging in games of Truth or Dare or Never Have I Ever, the beer bottles slowly being emptied while their tummies get filled. When they’re done eating, the relaxed smiles on their faces implicitly communicate how the meal has been the perfect ending to the lovely day spent together. Still, they stay by the fire and keep up an effortless chat. When one of them comments on the limpidity of the sky, its stars being perfectly visible in this zone of Seoul, they all look up and stare in silence at the fullness of the lights.

Even if it’s not too late, the weariness from being out in the sun for multiple consecutive hours is weightening down on most of them, Seokjin and Sora retiring to their tents, soon after being followed by Yoongi and Hoseok.

It’s a little past midnight, and Eunbi starts to feel more and more affected by the cool breeze, its effects showing on her prickled skin. She tries to warm herself up by rubbing her exposed arms with her hands, but it’s to no avail, “God, I’m so cold.”

A collective agreement follows her claim, with Iseul speaking up and curling herself into a ball on the deckchair she’s sitting on by taking her legs up to her chest and hugging them close, “Me too, it’s freezing.”

”Oh, I have a spare hoodie.” Both girls snap their heads at the voice, which belongs to Jeongguk. However, as he quickly gets up to retrieve the sweater from his tent, it’s not clear who between the two he’s referring to, their curious expectant eyes following his every movement. Eunbi has her reasons to feel so eager, given the fact that she has been begging for one nice interaction with the boy, a spark of hope lighting up in her chest at his offer. On the other hand, she doesn’t know why the other girl seems equally excited, twirling her short hair around her fingers as she waits for Jeongguk to come out of the tent again. She huffs, a pout ending on her features.

When the sought-after boy gets back with a blueish crewneck in his arms, both girls hold their breaths, the sudden tension going unnoticed by the others (except for Dahye, she’s like a psychic when it comes to her best friend’s emotions), until Jeongguk lays the piece of clothing on Iseul’s shoulders, coming behind her and then sitting on his chair again.

Iseul bashfully thanks him, the tips of her ears seemingly reddening while a sweet, alluring smile makes its way on her lips. Eunbi scoffs at that, and if looks could kill Iseul would be dead right now. The dirty look she sends her way luckily goes unnoticed, and she keeps hugging her own body trying to provide herself with warmth. When she shifts her attention to Jeongguk, he’s already looking at her, smirking. She can’t be convinced he isn’t doing all this on purpose.

Even with her teeth almost chattering, the neglected girl forces herself to stay with the others until the end, and with Namjoon and Taehyung retiring to sleep only six of them remain. Under a white full moon, the conversation doesn’t really follow a clear direction, steering from existential questions that none really have the answers to, to Jimin’s drunken adventures. Jeongguk giddily joins the recounting and adds many details to it, specifically highlighting the embarrassing parts that his roommate is trying to omit to save face, and making all of his friends laugh with their whole chest, Eunbi included. She simply can’t ignore the fact that he’s naturally charming, and hilarious as well. In the middle of his storytelling, his whole body gets involved and it makes the events seem even more impressive. Eunbi smiles when she compares the Jeongguk in front of her to the beloved one in her past, the one that would sit her down and force her to keep up with his running imagination, constantly up with new ideas for silly scripts.

Then it’s Dahye’s turn to share one of her experiences, and Eunbi inevitably gets thrown into the tale, which had seen the two friends drunkenly sneaking themselves into a concert. It’s like they’re perfectly mirroring Jimin and Jeongguk’s dynamic, because while Dahye is trying to leave out critical parts of the story, Eunbi strongly insists on specifying them with an unseen emphasis for 1 a.m., causing everybody to laugh along. In between chuckles, her eyes fall on Jeongguk, who is mindlessly scrolling on his phone and seemingly not paying attention. Throughout the recounting, she notices Jeongguk distractly listening but never laughing, and if he does it’s only after something said by Dahye. Slowly, the enthusiasm gets wiped off her face as she curls up on the chair, sulkily letting her friend finish telling the story.

Another hour of effortless conversation goes by, and Jeongguk is back to lively chatting again, his animated gestures and witty jokes getting laughter out of his friends, but this time Eunbi doesn’t join. She silently sets on observing the boy, despite being caught a few times. She really wants to understand the reason behind his behaviour, but there’s no factual explanation she can come up with other than the obvious reasons that put them in this situation in the first place. If that’s the case, there’s nothing much she can do other than going up to him and finally talking it out like the mature adults they should be, but with their petty, silent bickering she doesn’t think that’s happening any soon.

While she’s busy squinting her eyes at the boy, in a borderline creepy manner, she doesn’t notice Iseul crouching in half in laughter at something Jeongguk said, until she’s directly referring to her, “Oh god, Eunbi! Why did you never tell me Jeongguk was this funny?” Said girl is startled by the question and by the abrupt interruption that shakes her out of her trance, confusion written on her face and it must be evident with the way Iseul goes on explaining, “Dahye told me you’ve known him for a long time.”

All at once, the atmosphere is tense and maybe Iseul and Aera can’t feel it, but Dahye definitely can as she snaps her head to her friend, who’s staring directly into Jeongguk’s eyes. The two seem to be battling an unnamed war through eye contact, and the intensity of the boy’s gaze ignites something implacable in the girl’s chest, dangerously close to rage, and it has to do with all the feelings she’s had to bottle up in less than 24 hours. She scoffs, referring to Iseul but never breaking the staring contest with the boy, “Oh, is he? Don’t think I’m well acquainted with that side of him yet.”

If the tension wasn’t palpable to everyone before the comment, it surely is now, the only ones that have something left to say being the crickets and owls in the background. Jeongguk only snickers before washing a hand over his face, an unsettling smirk on his lips. He seems to finally acknowledge the other girl’s presence, but it’s not in the way Eunbi initially imagined it would go. Instead, it’s venom spitting out of his mouth, “You would've been if you weren’t so self centred, always wrapped in your own bubble all the fucking time.”

Eunbi's confidence falls as quick as her heart, a sudden force weighing on it and almost crushing it. She’s fast at hiding it, ignoring the slight sting she can sense in the back of her eyelids, her only goal is to shoot harder. She forces the fakest smile she can muster, “Self centred? Are you sure you're talking about me?” The affronted girl scoffs, loud and sarcastic, “Fuck, and I thought you'd know better than that, Jeongguk. You should try getting your head out of your ass and look around. Maybe you'd see how shitty you've been treating all of us-” me “-for these past weeks.”

Jeongguk is visibly taken aback, and it’s his heart falling this time, his face following suit. His broken features do little to hide the doubts plaguing his spiralling mind. Had he pushed it too far? Had he been actually so bad to his own friends? Seeing his contender’s face relaxing with victory makes him snap out of the sudden trance, as he regains consciousness fast. No, he hasn’t. Fuck this. Blinded by anger, he utters the unimaginable, “Speak for yourself when you say shit like that. As far as I'm concerned, I've been treating you fairly seeing the bitch you are.”

His eyes are as pitch as black, the stars in them that Eunbi would love to get lost into are unreachable now, almost as if a dark cloud had obscured them. It must be the pollution that's taking over his heart too.

She’s frozen in place as the cruel words echo in her mind, the force that was keeping her heart underwater had managed to crush it, and it was now coming up her throat, squeezing the air out of her lungs. Her ears ring with the sudden lack of oxygen, and she can only faintly hear Dahye’s raging comments coming in her defence against Jeongguk. She can only seem to focus on the cracking of the fire, though, its thumping noise suddenly unbearable, as she feels more and more engulfed in its flames. She forces all sounds to come back to her, strongly pulling herself out of her own plagued head, the boy in front of her now unrecognisable to her empty eyes.

Looking around, she notices all of her friends — his, after all — had gone extremely quiet, the pressure weighing on them too. She can't stand it, needs to get out. She wishes she had never agreed to this. So much for keeping her peace. Yet, she'll never give him the satisfaction of knowing how much that hurt her. She'll die before crying in front of him.

“Well, if you don't mind, the bitch has had enough now, so with all due respect, she's going to sleep.” With a forced tight lipped smile, she gets up in one fast movement and walks to her tent, leaving the others disoriented, and a still furious Dahye scoffing at Jeongguk. He follows her with his eyes until she disappears in her shelter, clenching his jaw and announcing his departure soon after.

Inside the tent, Eunbi takes several deep breaths trying to calm down, and she feels frail when she can sense her eyes prickle with tears. She tells herself it’s angry ones. Apparently, being nice isn’t enough, and she watches as the seal to her pact shatters with force, signalling no come back. Following suit, the puzzle breaks once again, and she’s left scrambling for the pieces falling, looking for the one that will start it over again. And this time, it’s going to be even harder.

[m0cachin]

a vil piece i drew for a twst art nouveau open collab on twitter :] thank you to @/snailwonderzz for hosting it!!

rambling & thoughts abt this piece below the cut because i put a lot of thought into it

tbh my thoughts on this piece are properly expired because i did this MONTHS ago and its. its not as fresh as it used to be but here we go

so i made this thing ^ for twitter because obviously i cant ramble there but the whole gist of it is there from the beta designs and everything, but something i didn't include in the picture above is my struggle with deciding what color the dress should be because i don't make thumbnails/colored sketch before like getting into lineart and coloring

okay pic above is the options i had for deciding the color (ended up doing the one on the second pic, second from the left) it's a bit fun to revisit because this pic took 11 hours or so ibispaint says okay wait time to properly get rambling

i. unexpectedly put a lot of effort and thought behind this piece considering that its probably my first ever proper serious twst artwork...??? and its an open collab too so you cant not expect me to tryhard a little www but anyway. i do wish i could have done more but im impatient and i want to get this finished asap with how busy i already was with other stuff so as a result i didnt put much though in the backgrounds and just balled it but yknow what. its okay i like the end result, its nice to see and im glad to see that people like it too!! about the beta designs; im genuinely a big fan of like some of them but i knew it was going to be a pretty detailed (and draining) piece so i decided for something simple :] i did regret not putting any accessories in vil's hair though :( it completely slipped my mind until i was like .... halfway? through shading ANYWAY. i think that should be all? idk my thoughts are no longer fresh anyway so i dont have much to say now compared to back then but if you read this thank u . i put a lot of love and effort in what i do and i hope it shows through my art. hopefully i can draw more twst soon !!

[somepsychopomp]

I’ve read your Winter’s Night fanfic on AO3 before it became private for members only

(you you are literally the person that has made me but the effort to finally send my email for an invite just to continue your work)

Reading your work and my long experience as a reader of many fics I felt that my feral likings could match up yours some way.

Sadly due to issues I’m unable to fully write my own fics but as you can see I can lay some good ground works and idea paths. So I tend to, if I accidentally find a fav author on here, and they ask ideas slip a lil something and scuttle back into my corner.

Idk tarot cards but I think when it comes to how the show uses it OGMarcy and STAR!Marcy are perfect example of right side up and upside down. So if those cards are right then I agree.

And for some reason I just believe in my heart of heart, that Simon’s blood after the many many years of Ice King May have a special tasting blood, maybe a satisfying chill after feel with a sweet or minty kick to it. So when they do manage to run away and VK managed to survive (if they tried killing running away and he could still drain blood from Simon) he’d want the special blood back and his daughter but also the blood.

Cause Bonnie DID say the vampires have hunted their food to near extinction so changing Simon probably won’t be in his best interest if he thinks rationally. But judging by the situation it can be said VK seems to be ignorantly impulsive to literally have his peoples food source dwindle like that and it obviously rubbed off on Marcy based on how she described her killing of Martin.

lmao my fic was never supposed to be publicly accessible because (for weird and convoluted reasons) making it locked helps prevent AI scraping, but im glad u got an Ao3 account its actually so worth it

Marcy being the Star is interesting to me as someone who is kinda familiar with the tarot cards. Upright it (loosely) represents hope, healing, and purpose. Inverted it means (again, loosely-there's lots of different interpretations) loss and arrogance... which is pretty in line with Star!Marcy lmao

((Fun fact- I first wanted to name Vamp!Simon The Hanged Man bc it represents wisdom/sacrifice, but thought it was just a little too much of a mouthful and a little too on the nose. The Hermit is also a great fit for him thematically but it feels mean to call him that lol. So I think I'm going to stick with calling him Temperance bc it represents patience, but more importantly the inversion of it means conflicting interests. It's also a fun bonus for literally just me to have Simon be the only vamp named for a virtue and not a tarot figure, to imply he's different from the rest))

I don't actually want to say much about your ideas with the VK bc I feel like once i get started, I'lll just ramble and give away all my ideas about the fics I have planned 😭 but VK being cruel and possessive is good food

[life-winners-liveblog]

Oh Pearl you should listen to Rises the moon or Anarchy by Egg

know Rises the moon isnt made by egg, but they've made a cover of it and I love Egg and her music is just so comfy and beautiful and omy goooooooood

Oh you should also listen to Cynical Fairytale, by Egg, I think you'd like it :D

And and and oH MY GOD YOU SHOUDL TOTALLY LISTEN TO MASICHISM TANGO!! Its such a bop, honestly its completely different from Eggs music, but its so good

If you want sad music then I reccomned No children by The Mountain Goats, cus its sad and sad and very nice. Also for the sad vibes I deserve to bleed by Sushi Soucy, which Im glad I dont relate to as much, but still its such a bop

For some musical music, all of Les Mis, Candy Store from heathers, Show me your hands from The guy who didnt like musicals, and probably lots more but those are what i have from the top of my head

If u like romancy songs I recommend uh, hm wait I just gotta remember some actual romancy songs

Okay so my brain has a hard time deciding what to categorise as a romancy song, ig Anarchy, but I dont see it as a romance song so idono

Also just lots of Queen, Bohemian Rhapsody, Dont stop me now, Loverboy, oh yeah thats a love song yes, and Killer Queen

OOOOOH and how could I forget all the metal covers of Worlds end valentine, theyre so fuckings cool, all of them

Oh and also lots of Toby Fox and Omori music in general

Okay I've been rambling, I love music so much like omy god music is so fun, and omy god i love talking about my favorite music (as you've probably figured out)

9.2

(Also note to Author, I hope its not too annoying that i wrote so much about music haha)

(Rises the moon-covered by Egg)

Pearl: It's very slow, It's like a lullaby... very calming...

Scott: Yeah, It's nice. Really like the high notes especially.

Grian: It's nostalic. Reminds me of the nights back in the desert... It's familiar.

~~~~~~~~

(Masochism Tango)

Pearl: This is a whole different vibe.

Scott: A VERY different vibe.

Grian: When I saw the name I tought of Tango... could you imagine him singing this?

Pearl: Nah not really, thats not really his vibe... its more of a Scar song.

Grian:... That is... true.

~~~~~~~~

(No children)

Scott: That "I hope you die, I hope we both die" hit me like a truck. I didn't expect it at all.

Pearl: I am sure if I knew this song back in Double life I would have sung it to my Scott.

Grian:... It's really bitter-sad... i don't like it.

Pearl: What?! It's so good!

Grian: I just... don't...Am I not allowed likes and dislikes?

Pearl: ... to each their own tastes I guess.

~~~~~~~~

(Candy store)

Grian: Now this, this is great!!

Scott: I like the rythm but the lyrics are a bit-

Grian: Shhh- 🎶Honey whatchu waiting foor? 🎵Welcome to my candy store! 🎶Time to prove you are not a loser anymore, welcome to my candy store!🎵

Pearl: He's really into it isn't he?

Scott: sure looks like it.

~~~~~~~~

(Bohemian Rapsody)

Scott: Is this another slow song? It's nice, kinda sad, but- well nevermind the tempo changed completely.-

Pearl: Galileo����, Galileo🎵, Galileo🎶, Galileo🎵 Galileo Figaro. This is fun.

LimL!Jimmy:... *Murmurs* He is just a poor boy nobody loves him.

Grian: Jimmy?!? How long have you been here?

LimL!Jimmy: Since you sang about candy stores.

Grian: Ah.

~~~~~~~~

(Worlds End Valentine-metal cover)

Scott: I like it ... Jimmy seems to be completely entranced.

Grian: Yeah It's nice enough.

LimL!Jimmy: That was great!!

Pearl: We know, you were focused entirely on it like your unlife depended on it.

~~~~~~~~

Scott: Omori? I am pretty sure It's a game on our laptop, do you whispers think we should try it?

(Also I don't mind the music stuff :D)

(Also, also, wanted Martyn to be there but I find it unlikely he would have accepted so I didn't)

[funshinebf]

vash 2 me would love wearing makeup and dresses occasionally. but usually like. like he loves doing makeovers with friends as a girls night kinda thang. he loves letting a group of children attempt to braid his hair and paint his nails. its like a social thing for him. he would love doing drag performances. but i dont think he would really care for it just like, for himself. like i cant really see him putting on makeup by himself in the morning. like i said its more of a social thing, he uses it to bond with others, ie makeovers and such. he only learns how to do decent makeup so he can participate in these social events. grah imagining younger vash seeing a group of young women talking about makeup together and he very shyly asks if they could maybe help him learn? and they all get SO excited, invite him to one of their houses and they all sit in a circle showing him the basics and giving him advice and letting him practice on them for the night. and hes SO happy, cause not only did he get to befriend these nice strangers, but also now he has this knowledge that he can use in the future to befriend MORE people. grahh i just think about vash being invited to girls nights so so much he's an honorary girl. esp for meryl and milly. m&m and vash having a girls night one day, hanging out in m&m's hotel room with face masks and snacks and painting eachother's nails. wolfwood knocking on the door looking for vash and seeing them all like this. he makes fun of them a little but u can tell his heart isnt in it and hes actually a little hurt that he didnt get invited. milly excitedly asks mr priest, would you like to join us? youre always welcome to! and he thinks he should decline and go find something else to do for the night but all three of them are looking at him hopefully with their big puppy eyes so he sighs and goes alright alright. lemme in here. meryl paints his nails black with little fancy white crosses on his middle fingers and he ends up liking it so much he keeps borrowing her black nail polish all the time, until one day she gives him a brand new bottle and tells him to keep it, for whenever theyre not traveling together. vash and milly do his makeup and at first he's kinda huffy and tells them not to make him look like a clown, expecting them to go nuts with it. but then when theyre done he sees himself in the mirror with just some lip gloss, mascara and eyeliner and hes like wait a minute. this is actually pretty good... basically m&m plus vash introducing ww to the wonderful world of being low-effort gnc and changing his life. although i do think when he was a kiddo he totally let the girls at hopeland give him makeovers, but he acted all huffy about it cause he thought he was supposed to. but really he just loved how happy it made them so he never put up TOO much of a fight when they would ask. n when m&m plus vash invite him into their girls night it reminds him so much of his sisters at hopeland doing the same to him and it makes him kinda nostalgic and fond. and hes happy that even though he cant see his old family and he misses them like crazy, hes thankful that hes got a new little family with him right here. ok this got away from me big time but its okay you all already know im insane and love to ramble. okay

[rollercoasterwords]

Ok this may come off as ramble-y but i just wanted on come in here gush abt how much I love your fics!! I'm a big fan of atyd so intially that's how i found your work -- through Sirius' perspective -- and i loved that shit (dare i say more than the original,, they're both amazing ofc I'm just biased coz Sirius is my fav character). I come from a super religious/conservative background and I have never related so much to a character with internalised homophobia -- like the resemblance was a little uncanny ngl lol.

But yeah,, than i read 'thtf' becoz i was craving some lesbian fics (coz the marauders' fandom is in a lesbian drought let's be real). And it was so good and i absolutely bawled my eyes out. You're writing i think especially shined in this fic and i remember i would go back an reread pages because they we're so beautifully written lol.

And then i read ur cowboy and zombie au fics (even tho I don't really ship jegulus/marylily) but they were still amazing and so, so fun!!

My favourite fic of yours by far tho is ur most recent fic, 'As the Worm Moon Dies'. I'm a sucker for fics that expand on the world-building/magic of hp because i feel like there is so much missed potential in the og hp series due to jkr neoliberal centrist politics (gag). I loved how u depicted magic in series as more of a spectrum and how every human has the capability for it. I loved how u described the elves and their enslavement becoz holy shit is that a horrible plot point in the og series (dw!! they liked being enslaved!!). Sirius as a death eater is so weird becoz canon sirius would never -- but it also shows just how much of an influence James and subsequently the Potter's had on his life. Ooooh also don't even get me started on the werewolf fighting rings and the hypocrisy of pureblood societies its absolutely so fascinating to me!! Ahh i've reread it so many times already lol. (and obviously, the wolfstar is *chefs kiss*)

I love ur writing so much i actually started reading the captive prince series solely so ic ould read ur fanfics on it lmao. (up to book 2 -- so far very interesting -- and wondering what Laurent's perspective could possibly contain).

Honourable mentions to ur nobleflower and emmary fics because they were awesome and ur characterisation of emmaline as a butch aloof lesbian is now absolutely cannon to me!!

Anyways sorry for rambling so much i just needed to fangirl about ur works!! I just wanted to thank you for all the time you put into them and your services to the marauders fandom. Oh, and if you ever published a book one day i would read it no doubt.

aww thank u 🥹 this is so sweet it’s always crazy 2 remember that there r like…real live actual people out there who r resonating w the things im writing etc so i v much appreciate the kind words 💕 also reading captive prince just 4 the laurent pov fic is crazy lmao but i hope u enjoy the series…book 1 is rough but book 2 will start bringing u back and book 3?? bananas….

[aquaquadrant]

aqua. aqua the. the chapter. aqua. ohooohm my gosh. th. if. if he cant have. the sun. he'll learn to love his shadow. ohhhhm y gosh. i i wasnt expecting a chapter for. like. forever, literally began to cry as i saw that there was a new chapter outta nowhere!!!!?!?!?!!??!!???!!!!! i am deranged. also. also etho loves. he loves the jungle. his. his favorite biome is the jungle. his favorite biome is the jungle it's one singular passing line but my attention has fixed onto it. h. he lov,es th,,e jungle,,,, its!! pathbubs crumbs!!!! i miss them!!! once again you've absolutely outdone yourself <3

ahem, back to normal- first off, i was wondering if you had any plans to implement angst regarding timmy finding out that bravo thinks of him as like, the second-best version of him? because while 'if he cant have the sun, he'll learn to love its shadow' could be quite sweet its also heeeeelllllllla toxic on bravos part. for timmy to find out that bravo thinks he's jimmy's lesser version and that he's only helping him/being friends with him/having a relationship with him because bravo couldn't have jimmy and is settling would be an Absolute punch to the gut... i mean timmy already has enough misery and trauma looming over him about to strike (please let my boy be okay in the end <3 i am... very worried. if jimmy is my son then timmy is my favorite traumatized nephew whomst i will shower with gifts and candy) but y'know,, just somethin to think about :)

oh! Also! you already have so many tasty parallels in htp (seriously, i am unhinged, as to say i am No Longer Connected To The Door Frame), but at the point where jimmy and tango were being restrained and jimmy mentioned almost choking on blood and then that he should've killed himself to spawn back at the ranch, i was totally thinking you'd parallel how tango escaped hels tek with jimmy choking on the blood,,,,,, then again, maybe the parallel went unfilled because jim's in a much more hopeful situation than tango was- a bunch of lethal and very pissed friends to defend him, nice home, etc.. yeah. And one more thing: kudos and applause and hip hip hoorays that you didn't choose to implement misunderstandings and have Jimmy even once doubt Tango or stop fighting for him. I for one have had quite enough of misunderstandings just for the sake of drama, and although tango's not the best at communicating, he's got unresolved trauma, and jimmy, thank the stars, does not jump to conclusions and instead trusts Tango and waits until more information is revealed. thank you so, so much for that. we love healthy relationships here <3 (*looks at bravo and timmy*)

Amazing writing as always, hope my deranged ramblings were at least clear to read, and i hope you have a stellar day! 💫✨⭐️

SAAAAALT THANK U i’m so glad u enjoyed it. the fact that etho’s favorite biome is the jungle is my favorite fun fact abt him bc then bdubs went and got all jungle-possessed in s5 and it just works SO well together :3

oh don’t you worry about the upcoming timmy angst. there will be Plenty. it will get worse before it gets better.

PARALLELS. YES. i’m always looking for opportunities to throw those in and it’s nice when they get picked up on.

and YEAH see i felt like if some total stranger showed up and accused tango of all these horrible things, it wouldn’t make sense for jimmy to believe him? and especially not the hermits, who’ve known tango for nearly ten years at this point. so really, the only one taking bravo’s words to heart is tango. he might not have been very mentally present but you best believe he heard every word :)

[stunie]

HI ZEVIE!! i absolutely love the match ups uve been doing so i hope im not too late on this :D

its actually my birthday tdy so im really excited to spend time with my friends n family ^^

something rly fun thats happened recently is that i started uni and met a bunch of new friends!! ive been stuck at home awhile waiting for enrollment so i was rly thrilled to meet n talk to new people agn

i really like blue lock, windbreaker n kaiju n8! idm being paired up with someone from any one of these!! whatever u see fit :D i really like to draw, curate pinterest boards, go to cute cafes w my friends, i sew stuffed animals for fun and i strongly believe call>text

my fav artists are laufey, lisa ono n faye webster,alot of bossa nova tunes, uhh i think im quite extroverted n loud but recently someone told me im reserved n observant??? which im really confused by, but tbh i tend to act differently with most people i meet so..

most of the time girls love me but men hate me because i tend to not beat around the bush when i talk to them, im straightforward n function on spite most of the time which is why i dont really play video games cuz i can get really competitive :P alot of ppl say i look kinda ditzy n dumb upon first impression but im actually really hardworking BECAUSE i run on spite.. generally my love languages are mostly quality time n acts of service, but i think im also very words of affirmations when it comes to people close to me (im always number 1 hype man!) i also like trying to bite people (IN AN AFFECTIONATE WAY) n meowing out of nowhere um i dont even know why..i adore ugly cute things esp plushies n animals :D

if u answer this tysm for taking the time to read everything!! i feel like i rambled alot + i hope ure having a nice day!! ^^

EH? BDAY? HAPPY BIRTHDAY NONNIE !!! 🎂 here’s some cake 💐 here’s some flowers !!! i hope you have a wonderful day aaaa i hope im not too late !! > < ALSO YOU SOUND SO CUTE I LOVE. i’m thinking …. of a character who shows up in the wb manga so lemme know if ur an anime only!

the straightforward part has me running to endo ! i think he would enjoy being around you so much omg (bottom right for reference). SO CUTE. have you seen the scenes of him talking about takiishi all excited ? that’s how he is. give him any words of affirmation and it’ll have him all -> :O with the blush … omg. the bite ?!, it has him laughing but he’s happy (: you may have accidentally taught him that biting is a form of affection.. so let’s see how that goes. THE UGLY CUTE ANIMALS. he understands. he thinks the same. even if you act a little differently depending on the person, i think endo would understand you !! he loves you so much that it’s only natural he’s understand you. he could send me a paragraph right now about you > < and he’d be happy writing it!! love that. also. please call him. OMG. he’d be so happily chatting all day long 😭 so cute

[sugarpuptard]

tbh im still not used to journaling like this but i want to make it a habit because i like to share things and just talk even if it's just to the void or for ppl who want to read like its some reality show xD i'll keep trying i like rambling sometimes, especially at 3:29 AM while my sleep meds try to work lol

i wish talking to new people or people i haven't spoken to for awhile was easier (-﹏-。) but i've been at least in the call and chatting over text so soon enough vc should be easier! plus i'll be playing D&D with them soon so i think we're gonna be good friends! i wish i could make and keep friends easier tho without them being my bf's friends, i don't have those social skills .-.

but on more good notes, i updated my sims and im gonna be playing more of that! i play with tons of mods its fun, i'll make sims to share on here too i wanna make jfashion sims. i also wish my newest yesstyle order will ship already but i gotta wait like 30 days aaaaaa but im excited i'll do more reviews. i tried signing up to be a YS influencer but i was declined, i gotta figure out how not to be declined again hmmmmm..

but anyways uhh thats all on my mind currently, i'll continue to ramble as needed. im on 2 new meds and the newest one for energy made me very chatty today so i'll probably be blogging more cuz of that (๑ŏ ω ŏ๑) hoping it helps my mental health and wont make it even worse because i get to the edge of insanity too easy sometimes, being disabled gets to u

[youremyheaven]

also loving all the pink. I bet you're gorgeousss 🫶🏼💕

I also live in a kinda dodgy area with a lot of religious/hijabi people - I have nothing against them and I'm sure a lot of them are super friendly but I can't help but feel a little judged and vulnerable if I be showing ankle lol or wearing colours (nobody wears colours around here bruh).

There's a looot of crime and I don't want to draw attention to myself especially when I'm out with bub.

Sorry to ramble ugh but I guess I'm just saying whoever sees this, this is your sign that if your circumstances are right, be adventurous and take advantage of that, have funn with how you dress, it makes me so happy to see girls being free and shamelessly beautiful ✌🏼💜

🙈🙈🙈ur so sweeettt <333

i do love pink, maroon, magenta, burgundy, brick red and just colours in that spectrum hehe,, makes me feel romantic 🥰

omg where do you live??? nobody wears colours??? 😭😭

being judged for what you wear is the worstttt,,, i was one of the only people who got "dressed" up to go to class bc most people did not have the time or energy for it and just came to class in whatever was clean which i 100% understand but i always felt hella overdressed around them (even tho i technically wasnt)

idk if you're muslim but i dont think your neighbours will care that much??? sometimes the people who seem to live the most orthodox lives tend to be the ones who respect other people's choices the most<33 there are sooo many cute relatively modest outfits too , in case that interests u as well<333 be creative bbg,,

i feel u on the draw attention bit. its like turning on a switch. people seem to notice u 50x more when ur dressed up and it can be soooo uncomfortable. but if u step out in a hoodie and sweats, its like ur invisible. sooo weird. being a woman is just sooo disorienting at times.

i hope u and bub stay safe<333🧿🪬🧿

"shamelessly beautiful" is such a great way of phrasing it!!! i wish we could all shamelessly embrace our beauty and live our best lives!!! fck those people who think we're over the top or doing too much!!! u only live once, put on that dress and wear that blue eyeshadow!!! dont let them ruin fun for u!!!

[misc-obeyme]

hello hello, its sibling angst anon again ^^ i loved your response so pls dont apologize for the long ramble, bc i get like that about it too!! also, im glad you liked my song recs <3

speaking of those sibling slideshows i mentioned, for some reason tiktok has filtered them out so when u look them up, they dont show up??? you just kinda get them on ur fyp one day. or atleast thats what happens to me. but if u look up sibling webweaving here on tumblr, ohhh boy. its basically an amalgamation of different types of media be it poetry, song lyrics, shows and movies, and book excrepts all packaged as one that pertain to a theme. my fav is those about mothers and siblings, so unequivocally human. its like walking down a museum tbh.

and agh, i loved your thoughts on the demon bros sibling dynamics. plus yeahhh, its kinda hard to take anything seriously since it is an otome game, BUT who says u cant come up with your interpretations and thoughts? whos gonna stop you? anyway, each brother has a level of depth that is screaming to be fleshed out, but its all very surface level on game. belphegors burdening shame and regret from watching lilith die in front of him, and by extension beelzebub having the same feelings and/or his own guilt. (i remember belph talking about his trauma and the immersion immediately breaks off when an option pops up on the scream, "ask him to kiss you." LIKE. place and time!) asmodeus and lucifer, their entire relationship T_T speaking of which, satan and lucifer?! they're brothers, or say they are and the rest just kinda go with it. but does no one else wanna bring up how satan was even brought to existence? he was literally birthed from luci's wrath during the celestial war. thats like, a gateway for someone to write a long philosophical analysis about him and what it symbolizes. aghhudhwdhwhd i wish i could say more, but i'm literally out of words rn. if i was mc, i'd have to fight everyday to keep it together without breaking down and crying about this. espeically having to live under the same roof as them...ooofff

speaking of complex siblings dynamics, have you see succession? its a show on hbo. its about an ultra rich and powerful family that is ultimately, dysfunctional. theres four siblings and their relationship mean sooo much to me. i wont drop any spoilers just in case you dont know anything, but when i say dysfunctional i meant it!! one of the things i like about this show is that it doesnt have any flashbacks or show the backstories for most of the characters, rather they kinda drop pieces of information randomly and you just go ??? that happened ??? youd think it wouldnt be a good storytelling strategy bc how are you going to emotionally connect the story to your audience? but somehow, the show does it really well. for example, one of the brothers, roman, was heavily abused. and sometimes one of his siblings would go, "yeah i remember when dad used to heavily beat the fuck out of you" offhandedly, like its a cute little fun fact. and youre sitting there like....when did THAT happen??? ofc they wouldnt show it, but if you watch how roman and his father interact on show (roman is so submissive and scared next to his father) it starts to make sense. its like the "show dont tell" but they switch around to "tell and show." subtle interactions like that fully exposes a characters psychology. subtle body language goes a long way. theres also the eldest brother connor, whos seen as the father figure bc their real dad is so neglectful. but tbh connot gets shit on a lot and uuyfuefehfe theres more. i would talk about this all day. sibling angst got me on a chokehold.

anyway, sorry if i made 0 coherent sense but heres the end of the ramble T-T have a good day :3

(if i come back, can i be  🧬 anon?)

Welcome back! And of course you can be 🧬 anon, I will add it to the list!

Oh man, so I did a search for sibling webweaving and I was like woah what is all this lol. I had no idea there was a term for stuff like this, but I'm fascinated! I must not be getting the TikTok videos... admittedly my use of that platform is limited lol.

The thing about the otome game not delving into things means that we all get to speculate and come up with whatever we want. It's a blessing and a curse lol. On the one hand, I like being able to come up with my own interpretations. But on the other hand, it'd be nice to have just a little more depth that what we have.

I have thoughts about Belphie and specifically what happened in the OG with him. That was definitely a situation of, there is so much more going on here than they're bothering to get into. I also get that they can't really do a ton of that, partly due to the medium and partly due to the amount of characters they have to deal with. Like I think they can only choose to flesh out certain characters and the rest kind of end up on the back burner. Which is annoying because there's so much potential for so many amazing stories!

I also have a lot of thoughts about Satan and his relationship to Lucifer and everybody. It's like they give us just enough to make the story dramatic, but in the end everybody loves each other and so on and so forth. I'm not saying both Satan and Belphie shouldn't be able to reconcile what happened to them and move on, but it just happens so fast. It seems too easy. So I kind of headcanon it as, they hide everything. Not just those two, but all the brothers have a certain level of trauma that they just bury deep or at the very least don't display in front of MC. I know they make MC out to be the demon therapist, but nobody resolves their issues in one session and that's all they're normally limited to. But of course they don't have time to get into things that deeply in a mobile otome game lol.

I have not seen Succession! It sounds pretty intense. I think it's always interesting when media use different techniques to tell their story. Of course I have very little knowledge of how TV scripts are written, but for story writing, the way a character reacts can imply all kinds of past history, even if you don't know exactly what happened. Flashbacks are helpful, but I think it's interesting to have a bit of a mix. A character is always going to tell the story of their past a little differently than how it actually happened. And I find that it can reveal a lot about character just to see what they change or leave out when telling it. Of course, who they're speaking to can affect that as well. But it's definitely an interesting concept!

No worries, you made plenty of sense lol! You are always free to come back to my ask box if you so desire! <3

[scattered-winter]

REC LIST FOR @stardustsea

SERIES

gen:LOCK

imma be real w u bro. this one is GREAT for the first season but the second season ?? literally dead to me. so if u do watch this . highly recommend that u should stop after the s1 finale <3 BUT REGARDLESS. this show is like pacific rim meets power rangers. found family. super cool animation. banger soundtrack. ROBOTS. literally everything any media ever needs <3 here's the opening btw!!! its sooo cool. beloved <3 (the fandom is soo small I'm STARVED for ppl to scream about this show with..so if u ever watch it PLEASE let me know..)

kingdom (on netflix but i have slightly not legal links if u need !!)

just gonna say that korean zombie movies/shows are ALWAYS bangers and this one's no exception. it takes place in medieval times and has period-accurate clothing and swords and the like and I LOVE THE TAKE ON ZOMBIES IN ANCIENT TIMES. ITS SOOOO COOL. also i loove the characters. and the cinematography. everything is soo <33 however u need subtitles for this one so idk how good it is for casual background viewing

PODCASTS

batman unburied

u don't need a whole lot of prior knowledge to get into this one!!!! it's probably. my fav podcast of all time. and one of my fav dc medias of all time also. there's some pretty disturbing content (one of the main villains is a cannibal serial killer, and the first few eps have some Really Bad Sensory Sounds that almost made me stop listening the first time around BUT they're very short and only for the first couple episodes iirc) ALSO the mcelroy brothers voice some background characters which I think you might find fun !!! during my second time listening, after listening to taz I was doing the pointing leonardo dicaprio lmaooo <3 and tbh it has some of my FAVORITE characterizations of all the characters. and it also has theeeee babygirlest version of the riddler to ever exist <3 the cast is also AMAZING. honestly I could ramble about this podcast for DAYS but just know that it's highly highly recommended !!

there was gonna be a lot more than this but i have . forgor :( however if i think of more i'll share !!!

[the-ocean-in-motion]

I think it‘s very fun when people are like „wtnv was back in 2013“ because yeah back then cecil was a tumblr sexyman and wtnv was at its peak in popularity, but I never got into it back then because I barely joined tungl at the end of that era and my english wasn‘t good enough to follow long form english audio fiction quite yet. Instead I started listening to podcasts with The Magnus Archives, a show that only ever made it where it did because WTNV walked so it could run, and then went back and started listening to WTNV from the beginning.

I‘ve so far only made it up to about ep111, because I‘m not very consistently paced in my audio consumption, but since the podcast world only opened up to me a few years ago, I honestly had forgotten how „old“ WTNV really is. Because it‘s still being made? The release schedule isn‘t weekly like many other podcasts, but they‘ve put out a consistent 2 episodes a month, skipping one month for a break (I assume) each year, since 2012. 10 years.

To me, WTNV always felt pretty timeless, not to mention endless. I‘ve been in the process of catching up to nightvale for so long the idea of actually catching up to current eps seems unrealistic, even though I‘m halfway there. It‘s at the same time ancient as far as podcasts I listen to go (because the episodes at my current place were released im 2017, truly a different epoch), and brand new (as in still steadily ongoing).

I voted for Sans, not because I underestimate cecil‘s tumblrsexymanhood, but because Sans was the one tumblr sexyman I was most into, of all the ones I‘ve lived through. I love cecil, but I associate him with my own perception of him more than the fandom‘s. But I was in prime teenage years during undertale times. I to this day remember a solid amount about the popular AUs. I learned how to draw a dick because I wanted to draw Sans with one. Not even ashamed of that tbh, though I haven‘t kept in practice.

I don‘t have a point or anything. Mostly I‘m posting this here because my ipad has been logged out of discord for days because of 2fA so I can‘t ramble at my friends directly when I have thoughts at bedtime. Good night tumblr, and congrats Cecil on being sexier than that skeleton I like to imagine had a blue dick in 2016. u deserve it king