#ITS COOL AND FUNNY WHEN BAD PEOPLE DIE BADLY

[3liza]

just blocked the first assassin naysayer on tumblr im sure there are lots of them around im just in no mood. "youll all be sorry if he turns out to be a milkshake duck" yes yes everyone knows how this shit goes, no one cares, everyone is just having a little street party right now and party poopers are not invited. "you cant just kill a bunch of CEOs and collapse an industry, you have to consider long term political goals" no thanks, everyone knows that too and none of us care. this is pure, untrammeled vengeance. some people need killing. there is no divine justice or reincarnation, there is only the earth and her animals. amen. may many more of them meet the same fate. amen.

[ladyloveandjustice]

Winter 2024 Anime Overview: Metallic Rouge

Metallic Rouge

Premise: There are a robot-alien-whatever race called Neans and they're really oppressed and all that, you've heard about Detroit Become Human you know how it is. Rouge is a Nean who's been tasked by her brother with killing the Immortal Nine, super powerful Neans who want to not be oppressed and are willing to kill the humans that use them as slaves. Rouge's partner is Naomi Orthman and she's pretty fun. Eventually, Rouge sort of starts to wonder if ruthlessly killing her own people who are fighting oppression might be a bad thing actually.

Man what a mess. Kind of a fascinating, ambitious mess, but it's so bad. (If you're a fan, I encourage you not to engage with this review, you have better things to do than upsetting yourself for no reason).

I was attracted to this because like, it's focused on two women with really cool character designs! And they get to fight and be cool and have a vitriolic best buds kind of partnership! Naomi is pretty charming. The show does often LOOK good, and there's some genuinely cool animation moments, I'll give it that.

However, I realized fairly quickly that the story was a hodgepodge that didn't seem to have much of a grasp on even the basics of writing, but by that point I wanted to see what stupid plot twist it'd pull next. I don't know if it was a good decision but it sure was a decision I made. It means I get to write a review where I can be mean which is always easier than trying to convey how good a show is, I guess because less pressure.

The story starts in media res in a very confusing way. It does (attempt to) explain things a bit in later eps, but you never really stop having the feeling you've just been plopped in the middle of an ongoing story. I think it's very likely, that like so many shows, this was supposed to be a 26 episode show but it was cut down to 13 because anime originals sadly don't get to be that long anymore.

I don't think a longer runtime would have made the plot less stupid and frustrating, but it probably would have made the show a little better and some events have more impact. But rather than cut some events to let the story breathe, the show insisted on cramming a ridiculous amount of plot twists into a short runtime, meaning they never had time to land and you had no reason to care about most of the characters.

The approach to the Neans was a total mess especially. Very badly written for the most part. The Neans are literally slaves. Because of the Asimov Code (literally naming it that in universe is pretty funny I'll admit) they have to do whatever humans say, and most of the humans ruthlessly abuse them, use them as shields when there's danger, often steal their life giving nectar for kicks and leave them to die horribly, the police gun them down all the time, and also a huge amount of them are in a forced labor camp on Venus where they either die from the horrible conditions, (often falling directly in lava or being irradiated or whatever) or they just work until their bodies give out. (It definitely doesn't help that two of the Neans we see killed most horribly are Black-coded.)

DESPITE ALL THIS, the story inexplicably tries to both sides it for most of the anime. Some of the Neans are actually really evil because they'll do violence to escape their oppression! That's so bad, they're just as bad as the humans, they're really mean and randomly murder their own allies! Rouge is genuinely presented with the dilemma of "you can free the Neans and maybe they'll rightfully want revenge and kill some humans and society will ~be in chaos~ or you can just let your own people continue to be enslaved and horribly killed and abused every day. And she's like "hmm I dunno. Both sides have a point. yeah I think freeing them could be bad". Incredible. (Granted it does come around a little in its conclusion when some characters randomly change their minds, but it's way too little too late)

If you couldn't tell, Rouge is a really nothing character who it's hard to sympathize with thanks to her baffling choices, except for in a couple episodes that were genuinely charming and fun and made you think "hmm maybe it would have been fun to see these characters get into some shenanigans". Naomi at least has a fun personality, and I had a little bit of crush before her character mostly went down the tubes with everyone else.

Naomi and Rouge's dynamic could be pretty fun and was definitely the best thing about the show (and the only times Rouge showed any personality was with Naomi and a spoiler character), but the show insisted on speedrunning their conflicts and separating them constantly despite that dynamic supposedly being so central to the story, so.

But really, as I said, the most entertaining part of the end of the show was seeing how many ridic plot twists it could cram in, most of which had no impact because you didn't care about the characters, they didn't make much sense, and there was very little to set them up. EVIL ALIENS, EVIL FAMILIES, THIS BORING CHARACTER HAS SECRETLY BEEN PULLING THE STRINGS BECAUSE REASONS, that kind of stuff.

But I have to leave off telling y'all how one plot twist in the final episode is undone LITERALLY 30 SECONDS LATER because of something a character did off screen. also it's done two minutes before the episode ends. It's so funny I have to tell you.

SPOILERS

---

Rouge pressed the button that frees all the Neans. Then a character who hadn't done much but I guess is the big bad now pops up and is like "Rouge you freeing the Neans was all part of my plan because you activating the device actually infected them with an EVIL PROGRAM AND NOW THEY WILL FIGHT FOR THE EVIL ALIENS!! Rouge was like "wha?" but then the Neans glowing red evil eyes immediately turned off and the brother was like "actually I anticipated it and hacked it offscreen they're actually free." And the villain just leaves without really reacting. Amaaaazing.

---

So yes, wouldn't recommend this show unless you really like watching trainwrecks, and despite how amazing a trainwreck it is, there are stretches where it's just a slog.

(God, this review ended up longer than I thought. So much carnage and crumpled metal to describe. But now I'm officially free.)

[rjalker]

Tumblr said the first is illegal so here it is again because I saved the meme to my computer.

Finding out The Murderbot Diaries was inspired by The Imperial Radch series is the opposite of propaganda. I don't think I've ever heard worse news about a story I enjoy in my life.

Let's take the ideas this story did right -- but make it bad!!!!!

it's so fucking funny and just. proves even further Martha Well's inability to understand the concept of gender as separate from sex.

She can imagine dozens of nonhumanoid fantasy species, but couldn't once imagine a gender system that was no still locked into the white western gender binary, even when her prominant fantasy race has what ammounts to six different genders if she'd actually given it a single moment of thought.

Martha Wells literally looked at what Ann Leckie did and then went "Oh that's so cool. Let me just not follow any of the examples you set in regards to gender tho"

[ID: A two panel meme.

The first panel shows cupcakes based on the Cookie Monster from Seaseme Street, with expertly decorated icing, a cookie, and eyes.

It reads, "The Imperial Radch series talking about pronouns before the first scene is even over and then consistantly bringing them up and having them play an important role throughought the course of the story".

The second panel says "Nailed it!!!" in large comic sans font, and shows a failed attempt to replicate the cupcakes from the first image, with the icing flat and melting, with the eyes falling off.

It reads, "The Murderbot Diaries literally not even having the word "pronouns" i nit even one single time, never discussing them or having characters share theirs, even though the protagonist uses neopronous."

End ID.]

do you think the word "pronouns" will appear even once in book 7, which is coming out November 2023?

I guess we'll find out, won't we?

If a single character tells anyone else their pronouns, Martha Wells can have this sticker:

[ID: A gold star against a transparent background, surrounded by smaller golden sparkles. Black comic sans text on the star reads, “You did the absolute bare minimum required to respect trans people”. End ID.]

I'm serious I'll never be able to get over the knowledge that she really really really read The Imperial Radch series, which has more understanding and representation of gender in its first two pages than the entirety of The Murderbot Diaries series has in its entirety, and then decided, yeah, I'm not going to do any of the things that actually made that radical and interestng actually. This robot is nonbinary and aroace because it doesn't have genitals teehee that's how gender and sexuality works :))))))

Like. how did you manage to fail that badly when Ancillary Justice is already talking about pronouns in the very first scene.

this is the opposite of propaganda and it's fucking hysterical.

Especially because it is a perfect mirror to everything this fandom does with the things Martha Wells actually does right. She says "Don't ship slaves with their owners and don't demand peopel conform to your idea of normal" and they're all screaming and crying that if they can't ship this touch averse aroace slave with its owner they'll just die.

LOL

[februaryberries]

the rest of my reaction to the rest of the episodes because i can’t be bothered to split them up

JIMS HOT CHOCOLATE JIMS MUG

she’s so cute im gonna cry

she’s so cute and they’re so like hdjshfjdbf

SHES SO SWEET

DONT HESITATE TO ASK ANY OTHER QUESTIONS YOU HAVE ABOUT LOVE INSPECTOR CONSTABLE

i feel so bad for nina :(

OH MY GOD HE JOURNALS

aziraphale fuckin writing in a journal kicking his legs like a teenage girl

aziraphale sweetie you’re so brainwashed

OH MY GOD HE MADE IT YELLOW

oooooo i love the bentley driving into the intro art that’s so cool

he’s so obsessed w the rain moment

im so obsessed w ziras diary it’s so funny

now zira that was petty and bad

zira NOOOOOO

oh poor zira he’s so sad

he’s so cute in his little detective costume

THE SKINNY LOWDOWN HES SO SOLLY

gimme the FACTS

well yeah mason hmmmm

im so worried about this girl i feel like this is going to end badly

they’re gonna die

i knew something would go wrong

rip those guys

NO SHE DIED??????? FUCK

he’s insane crowley insane

HES SO TINY

im small arent i

GIANR ROWLEY?????

where are you

GRINDR LMAO

the awning moment

ooooof

VERY CLOSED LOL

it’s always too late :((((

PH MY GOD IS HE IN THE HITCHHIKER

who is she

YOU DONT SEEM HIS TYPE ????? IM SORRY!?????

WHAT HAT WHAT I HEARD YOU AND CROWLEY WERE AN ITEM IM FUCKING SCREAMING

furfur WHO

OH MY GOS OH MY GOD OH MY GOD ITS LIKE I HOPED BUT I COULDNT LET MYSELF BELIEVE THEYD ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING SJFJSJCJJSKSZKJDJ OKAY WAIT OKAY IM NOT POSTING THIS UNTIL I FINISH IT NOW IN CASE IM WRONG LOL

Im sorry is it literally raining hearts when zira and crowley are sitting on the roof in the intro are u kidding me

NO WAY NO WAY NO WAY NO WAY NOT US GETTING 1941 RIGHT AFTER THEY YOURE AN ITEM COMMENT ARE U FUCKING KIDDING ME RN IM GONNA THROW UP

the music

who tf is that guy in the church how is he awake alive whatever

is he flirting is that flirting

oh thank you crowley is there anything i can do for you in return *bats eyelashes* LMAO

ooooo

SISSY TYPE

EW THAT TONGUE WAS SO UNNECESSARY

oh no not magic he’s so silly

nice exactly what nazis deserve

ZOMBIES????

no this poor old man also how did he not see them LMAO

That’s what …… f r i e n d s are for LMAOOOO

CROWLEYS OLD MAN IMPRESSION IS SO FUNNY

he’s so supportive look ziras so happy

SOMEONE YOU REALLY TRUST OH MY GOD

ZIRAS SO EXCITED AW oh rip the magic shop guy

im so scared for aziraphale oh god i don’t know if i can watch

he’s so baby

THE BEES KNEES

JIGGERY POKERY

OH NO MIRACLES BLOCKED OH FUCK

oh no

evidence envelope LMAO

im so nervous but i know it’s going to work H

he’s so whimsy

OH HE DID A MAGIC TRICK W THE PHOTO DIDNT HE

BRILLIANT AZIRAPHALE IF U DID WHAT I THINK U DID

Lmao get fucked nazis

YES ZIRA I KNEW IT

oh my god im gonna throw up

they’re so sweet

SHADES OF GREY

im so

CROWLEYS PET????

TJE BULLET HOLE STUCKERS THRE STICKERS

oh no are the demons gonna crash his night

HES GIVING AWAY BOOKS

NO WAY DAVID PUTTING ON THE FEZ I SEE YOU AS HE ALSO MENTIONED THE DR WHO BOOK ARE U KIDDING I FUCKIN SEE YOU

THE FEZ LMAOO

HER ARMOR LMAOOOO

this is so awkward lmao

OH FOFO FURFUR WHATEVER HIS MAME IS

Zira please stop speaking french

YOUVE BEEN TOGETHER LONG IM KILLING MTSELF IM THROWING UP

HES NOT MY BIT ON THE SIDE

other peoples love lives always seem more straightforward than our own AND HE WALKS AWAY HE DIDNT KNOW IM HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW WAHHHH

Im losing my mind oh god the season finale is after this episode im going to throw up

WHAT IS THIS

SMITTEN IM SORRY ???

this isn’t going to end well

okay but the way they do the texts from Lindsey is so cool

my only friend

OH NO HES SO SAD

CROWLEY WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU

oh thank god

crowley OH ITS IN THE MATCHBOX

DO YOU WANT A HOT CHOCOLATE CROWLEY AWEWW IM GONNA DIE

Oh sweet girl

nobody would believe you anyway :( WAIT AND SEE LMAO

So beautiful

OH NO MAGGIE

A SEASMSTRESS

ZIRA U CANT FORCE PPL TO FEEL THINGS

he’s so worried :((( crowley

HES ASKING HIM TO DANCE ??????? IM SORRY ARE THEY GOING TO DANCE

jim :((( a

THE FUR COAT LMAO

TOSTE

oh rip the annoying guy LOL

i won’t leave you on your own maggie :(

BUT RESCUING ME MAKES HIM SO HAPPY????????? IM SORRY EXCUSE ME WHAT

YOU SAID BLAH BLAH BLAH

WHY IS CROWLEY GOING TO HEAVE THOUGH

LAST EPISODE IM GOING TO DIE

his little prance

MAGGIE NO

man that one demon can’t catch a break

HIS LITTLE HAPPY WALK LOL

crowleys emotional support angel

CROWLEY YOUR MEMORY

are gabriel and beelzebub going on dates these look like dates LMAO

SHE GAVE HIM THE FLY ????

WAIT ACTUALLY I DIDNT THINK I WAS RIGHT OH MY GOD

HES SUGGESTING ALPHA CENTURI FOR THEM AND ITS LIKE BUT THATS WHERE HE WAS GOING TO TAKE AZIRAPHALE

it’s a crime that gabriel and beelzebub are getting together before crowley and zira THEY DID IT FIRST

us time

he’s tidying up the shop :(((( and waiting for zira

im gonna throw up im gonna throw up oh no what is azira going to say what did matatrom say oh no

NO CROWLEY WAS ABOUT TO CONFESS IM GONNA THROW UP

oh no but he doesn’t want oh no

oh zira sweetie

NO IM GONNA THROW UP IM GONNA CRY

NO IM NO

im NO

THIS ISNT WHAT I MEANT WHEN I SAID MAKE THEM KISS WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WTH YOU THIS ISNT WGAT I MEANT THIS ISNT WHAT I MEANT IM GONNA THROW UP WHAT DO TOU MEAN IM GONNA FUCKINGDYE IM SOBBING ZIRA NOOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOO ZIRA WHAT HAVE YOU DONE ZIRA NOOOOOOOOO

WHAT THE FUCK THIS ISNT WHAT I MEANT

how am i ever ever ever ever supposed to recover from this the way they both wanted the other to come with them but zira is too brainwashed by heaven still and it’s heart breaking and the way crowley kisses him because he thinks he’s never gonna have the chance now the NO NIGHTINGALE GALES we could have ben US zira being so heartbroken by the kiss I FORGIVE YOU don’t bother what if i eat my entire laptop right now

The way he tenderly touches his lips afterwards is Gut Wrenching and then he’s about to say he thinks he’s made a mistake and then you see him pack those feelings away in a box and shove them deep down and what if i died right now

[domokunrainbowkinz]

honestly I may as well just become a manhwa blog or something LOL anyways have some more manhwa posting 🤓

titles discussed:

the sea's nocturne (18+)

traces of the sun

one-room TA (18+)

villains are destined to die

I'm trapped with the male lead in a horror game (18+)

between the lines (18+)

the 11th school trip

the sea's nocturne (18+) - see I thought this was pretty good at first, it's a more low-key story about overcoming anxiety and accepting love into your life but by ch 45 I think I see the pattern this manhwa is most likely going to follow (they get together, they take a break due to the MC's lingering anxiety, they get back together, something else comes up and the break up again, then they get back together etc) which is fine, but I'm personally not a fan of these stories. I do understand the MC's thought pattern and his actions do make sense in the context of the story, but idk something about this one just made me go "hmmm I think that's enough for me, good luck babe". maybe I'm just not a fan of the anxious MC archetype (the only exception is yuuri katsuki loml, something abt the way he was written just Clicked with me)

traces of the sun - I need to read the novel for this one, I really liked it!! a dungeon crawler action BL manhwa in the vein of "necromancer survival" with really cool fight sequences!!! the main draw of the story though is the MC and his journey of healing and overcoming his trauma and survivors guilt. I was rooting for him the entire story and I felt so sad about his situation like pls a crumb of happiness for my boy PLEASE!!! it's about feeling trapped by your past and wallowing in guilt and refusing to move on but you have to, bc despite what you think u deserve to live!!! I WANT TO LIVE!!!!!! honestly I was kinda eh about the romance bc the ML is a manipulative little bitch (derogatory) so it was hard to tell if he was genuine or not (even tho there are hints throughout he was down stupid bad even if he doesn't recognise it himself) but I still loved how it was clear that the MC is cared for a lot by him and his squad of hunter friends. definitely rec this one!!!!!

one-room TA (18+) - still pretty early in serialization but I feel it in my bones this ones gonna be a banger. it's SUCH a funny read and what's great is it pokes fun at typical tropes u find in BL manhwa, like they brought shit up that I sometimes think about when reading 😂 the humour is so good and the characters are all such a delight to read about. I thought this was just gonna be a fluffy comedy series but then they suddenly hit you with the discussions on social anxiety and overbearing parents, so it definitely isn't just a surface level comedy series. there's a moment where it actually made me tear up which I consider a huge accomplishment. anyways I'm keeping my eye on this one, I hope it keeps up the writing quality!!! (sidenote but I am like 90% convinced the author was a bio major bc like there were a lot of cell biology references, like yeah maybe they just googled some shit but some of these references are so specific 😭)

villains are destined to die - A BANGER!!!!! I absolutely love the FL in this and I just want her to catch a break so badly!!! I love how this one puts a lot of emphasis on how the FL's life was prior to being transmigrated, as how she was brought up heavily affects the decisions she makes throughout the game. her anxiety about the precariousness of her situation and the tension in her quest to survive the story is also palpable, and u just cannot help but root for her to beat the game and stick it to all the people out to get her. the MLs are also all interesting in their own way and its honestly not super clear in the beginning who the actual ML is. ofc predictably my fave ML is callisto, his interactions with penelope are so fun to read and u can see how they are more relaxed around each other, as well as how they're able to connect due to the similarity of their situations. anyways I'm waiting for season 5 in my mouth plspslsplssplspslslspslslslslspls I'm nothing 😩 I ended up reading the novel through the jankiest fan translation I've ever encountered and I am so excited for Certain Scenes to be adapted aaaahhhhhh

I'm trapped with the male lead in a horror game (18+) - really enjoying this so far, the setting gives such strong RPGmaker horror game vibes, it really reminds me of the witch's house, esp with the premise being it's a mansion that fucking hates you and you're trying to escape. I have a feeling the MC isn't actually a player that transmigrated, I feel like she gained sentience and is trying to escape the game / the curse that trapped her in the mansion. I'm honestly a lot more interested in the mystery of the mansion rather than the rship between the FL and ML, but they do have a good dynamic as of recent chapters. the ML starts off extremely wary and untrusting of the FL for obvious reasons, so it was nice to see him slowly trust her and understand the fact that the house curses it's inhabitants, so he's able to see why she does certain things and doesn't blame her when he can clearly tell she was manipulated into harming him by the mansion.

between the lines (18+) - this one gives such strong "semantic error" vibes except that I like dohu 500x more than sangwoo bc he is so fucking funny and much less frustrating to read about. I love love LOVE the relationship between the MC and ML, they do get off to a rocky start but they quickly become very sweet with each other!!! we love a wholesome couple who have nasty disrespectful sex!!! they're both giving autism x autism and I honestly love that for them. I would highly rec this, especially if you love a "me and the bad bitch I pulled with my autistic swag" dynamic, like dohu's autistic rizz is unmatchable 😩

the 11th school trip - only 2 chapters out for this manhwa but I'm camping I got my popcorn READY, it's an adaptation of a novel by the same author as "traces of the sun" so I'm so excited to see where it goes!!! right out the gate the art is so unique and colourful, it actually reminds me a bit of how "semantic error" coloured its panels and used certain effects (some of the panels remind me of pop art, it's very cool!!!) anyways I obvs don't have much to say I'm just putting this here so hopefully more ppl read it and camp with me ⛺️

[salaciousslut]

A virgo?? August or September!? I'm an august leo so i have a bias. Also only half the shit people say about us is right hehe 🤭

Every inch of you deserves to be adored sweetheart <3 Its cute that you trace them sometimes, i really like your stretch marks. Cross my heart and hope to die i like your stretch marks and wanna kiss them 🥰

I hate how badly i need to take advantage of you, like i think thats why i like the idea of getting you drunk enough to pass out. Its the reason im crazy about somno too. I just need to either have you fighting and thrashing, trying to escape while i force my strap in your pussy and you telling me to stop or a pliant little thing that doent even know whats happening without me taking a video of it <3 I bet we could have one of the best little porn collections out there bc i know you'll be such a good porn star 🥰

Yeah i need to make you cum as many times as i can just to watch your pussy twitch and get it on video, i need that so fucking bad. I need to feel you twitching around my fingers and my teeth in your shoulder right fucking now sweetheart <3

A blue devil cow sounds so cute omg!! I need to hold the both of you so badly 🥺

Valorant seems cool, my laptop is so shitty tho i cant run it :( i also low key forgot how to play fps games with a controller bc ive neglected my gaming console and ive stuck to pc games for the better part of like 3 years. But fuck it watch me loose my temper on overwatch or apex.

I love that we both tried to learn the guitar but stopped its just funny to me that you can relate bc ppl normally dont! Also please teach me abt your special interests and your field of study im such a curious person and i love knowledge!<3

august virgo!! and i loveeeee leos especially august leos sm!! they have a soft spot in my heart. (dont tell anyone but theyre my fav fire sign overall)

god youre so hot. please take advantage of me!!! use me however u want because i want it too. deep down i want it all!!

hehe maybe one day! i have a cute lil video of my cunt too that i watch sometimes because i love it so much!! its soooo cute. if i could make out with my own pussy i would. also please be my guest. i started a orgasm log for every time i came in 2024 so if u wanna add to that let me know lolol

oooh overwatch is pretty too, i dont really understand the game play but its gorgeous! and so is apex, i just get a lil motion sick when i watch it sometimes! but the colors are sooo vibrant

hehe come into my dms whenever ur comfy and i will, i dont wanna say what i do in public but ill tell u everything if u just ask! im a good girl like that 😇!!

what do u do if u dont mind me asking?

[some-creep]

Bayonetta 3 thoughts in no particular order:

Most of the music was mid. Some of it just sounds like movie score to me.

Let's dance boys third climax is a better song but a worse dance than the first game.

Lumens are mentioned once at the start of the game as creating the island and they are never brought up again.

Too much of this game's plot was shoved into files I didn't read.

Seriously the game reveals that Sigurd is Singularity but it's revealed in a file that no actually he isn't. What was the point of that

There should have been a lumen bayonetta. That's such an obvious au I don't know why they didn't do it.

In fact bayonetta probably should have just been singularity. No I haven't thought this through it would require plot restructuring but it would be more interesting if still incredibly stupid.

This game really hates Jeanne. The first alt Jeanne we see dies. China and France don't even have Jeannes.

Egypt Jeanne and Bayo switching princess roles could have been interesting except Egypt Bayonetta is fucking annoying.

Why do you only play as e girl Bayonetta in Japan and this never comes up again.

China bayonetta is in the trailer and barely features in her level even though her design was the most interesting.

Bayonetta never reacts to uhhhhh well anything really. But especially seeing her other selves die.

She kills a bunch of humans and this is kinda just a thing that happens and doesn't matter.

Rosa existed just to die again only they never interacted so who cares.

I like Viola :)

I hate PLAYING as Viola. Changing the button for witch time just confuses me so I do very badly as her :( #skillissue

Bayonetta 1 2 and 3 all being different people with baby cereza from 1 specially being bayo from 3 suggests that as a child bayo from 1 had a beehive haircut since apparently they never change their hairstyles.

The part you play as b1 bayo in the singularity fight at the end with the HUD from b1 was cool if not shameless nostalgia bait. But why didn't 2 get a feature? That was disappointing.

Luka being a magic fairy werewolf is so fucking stupid and he isn't a substitute for a proper rival fight I don't care what anyone says

Luka being a magic fairy means his dad died like a bitch for no reason and that's funny

Apparently seeking the one truth is why he became an investigative journalist meaning it had nothing to do with the very obvious things he was investigating in 1

Viola being able to do witch time suggests that umbra magic is passed through hereditary when it isn't. Umbra and lumens are just humans who learned magic

I guess bayo could have taught her but I don't think it's ever mentioned and since fairy transformations are hereditary I guess so is being a witch

One of the cut chapters was another Jeanne chapter. The game really really hates Jeanne and I don't know why.

Enzo's family is killed and it's played for a joke I guess even though it's not actually very funny it's just tonally really weird.

Was Bayonetta always an important title you pass on because I don't think it was and none of my friends seem to remember that either.

A lot of individual parts are really good but this game is truly less than the sum of its parts.

Bayo saying she and Luka have always been together is just straight up actually not true. It's actually weird how not true that is.

I don't care if it's an au that doesn't mean it has to be bad :(

Viola still could have been bayo and Lukas daughter from another universe without them getting together in the one we play in. What's the point of an AU if the outcome is always the same

No one mentions jpegnetta at the end of the game because they're not on screen very long but am the extra bayos are just crude jpegs of concept art it's really funny

Is no one gonna talk about the optics of rodin being a demon slave. No? Alright

Secret chapter was cute I liked the outfit but it looks bad in the main game. Actually she kinda looks like Katzy (?) From sailor moon

I assume the fairies + this are setting up for dlc or a sequel but it'll be incredibly funny if neither of those things happen.

"You bitch!"

[batarangsoundsdumb]

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

[hoedorokishoto]

Trust - Part 5

Shoto Todoroki x Reader 

+ Minors DNI 

previous | part | next 

My lids felt heavy as I struggled to open my eyes to the bright room. The furniture in Hitoshi’s room becoming clear as my vision cleared, and I could take in all my surroundings. A very silent and stoic Mr Aizawa standing by the door, arms crossed, his face unreadable. I pulled the blankets up, becoming aware that I currently only had one of Hitoshi’s shirts on over my underwear. Something I was comfortable showing Hitoshi, but not so much the Erasure Hero.

“How are you feeling?” He asked, his voice deep and even though I knew he wasn’t accusing me of anything I still felt like I was in trouble. Guilt still seemed to be the only emotion I could manage.

“I feel fine. I didn’t have much to drink at all last night.” I answered, trying to laugh off his question.

“Even though I’m not thrilled about the underage drinking, I think you know that isn’t what I meant.”

I knew what he meant, my head dropping to my bare thighs where I fidgeted with the hem of the shirt. Memories of last night came flooding back and I couldn’t help but cringe at the feeling. The feeling of being overwhelmed with all those emotions, feeling things that I wasn’t meant to be feeling.

“I- um, I’ve got it under control now, I’m sorry about what happened last night. I should have um- I- It’s all my fault.” I barely got out before a tear ran down my face.

“Y/N. What happened wasn’t your fault, you and Sen are both almost adults and weren’t doing anything wrong. I think there was just too much alcohol and not enough communication which was the cause of the outburst. Don’t blame yourself for the actions of others.” Mr Aizawa said lowly, walking over and sitting on the desk chair across from me. Despite his gruff exterior, he was one of the most noble men you had ever met. Also, one of the best heroes.

“Um, did… Todoroki. Is he okay?” I asked, heat rising up my neck and making its way across my cheeks. My body betraying me and my intentions of trying to come across cool, calm and collected.

“He went to shower; he didn’t leave you at all last night. I’m sure it was quite cozy with all 3 of you in here last night.” Aizawa stated, standing, and making his way over to the door. He stayed? Why? What could Shoto Todoroki gain from laying on the ground like a dog and guarding me? Was he worried that I was going to have another meltdown and his ice would be able to help?

“Put on some pants, come downstairs. Everyone was worried about you, and they made breakfast.”

“I have to go finish some paperwork because Bakugo and Denki decided to defend you honour last night. Noble but stupid.”

My eyes widened; they really did that for me? I wanted to smile but thought it best to wait before the teacher was out of the room.

When the door clicked, I jumped up and found some spare clothes that I kept here. A pair of leggings that covered my bare thighs and a sweatshirt that added warmth to my cold body. I thought it best to have a quick look at my appearance before leaving the room and scaring any students. Knowing that sometimes my hair could be exceptionally large and in charge. Pleasantly surprised that someone, I would guess Hitoshi had taken off my makeup, and left a thick hair tie on the corner of the mirror, the tie perfect for restraining the small afro that had started to form on my head.

Before I could talk myself out of it, I left the room and headed to the direction of Todoroki’s dorm, wanting to thank him for all his help. My body moving before my mind could decide this might be the worst decision I had ever made.

                                                            *

The knock on the wooden door seemed to echo throughout the hall. The only noise in the empty hallway.

“It’s fine, just say thank you then leave.” I said to myself. Eyes closed and breathing in heavily. My anxiety through the roof. Caught between wanting to thank Todoroki for all his help but also never wanting to see him again because the last time I did, our faces were inches apart and I was hysterically crying. On the verge of an actual mental breakdown.

“Leave? You only just got here.” The voice shocking me out of my thoughts. My fidgeting hands stopping by my sides and going completely still. Maybe if I didn’t move, he wouldn’t notice me, and I could make a quick escape I thought to myself. My eyes still looking down at my feet, seeing Todoroki’s bare feet opposite mine.

“I hope you don’t think that if you stand still, I won’t see you.”

Feeling defeated, I looked up slowly. Taking in the sight before me. There was Shoto Todoroki, still dripping wet from the shower, towel hung low on his hips. Almost everything on full display. His whole body was toned and clearly built to be a Pro Hero. I didn’t think I had seen anything so sexy. The muscles of his body clearly from all the years of training.

“I- um. Thanks.” I choked out, trying to keep still, my eyes travelling up and down his body. Wanting to take it all in, knowing that I’d never be seeing this again.

“I told you I could see you naked.” I said quietly, recalling the conversation we had in my workshop. Wanting to relieve some tension. A hearty chuckle leaving his lips and reaching my ears.

“Do you want me to drop the towel? Technically I’m not fully naked yet.” He said back, voice flirty and lighthearted.  For a second you forgot the awkwardness you were feeling moments ago and laughed. His hand coming out and resting on your elbow.

“Are you okay?” He asked, the mood shifting again, becoming serious. His hands still firmly on me, warm to the touch. I hardly knew him, but he was comforting, his presence very quickly becoming one you didn’t know if you could live without.

He was charming, funny, smart and dedicated. All facts you had learned from him being in your workshop every afternoon for the past week. Both of you learning about each other, casually flirting and making jokes with each other. He had definitely come along was from the little first year who thought that if he smiled people would die.

“Thank you, seriously. I’m glad you were there.” I said honestly. Not sure what would have happened if he didn’t find me and help me get a hold of my quirk. The thought of feeling all those emotions for any longer making your stomach drop and fill with dread.

“You also didn’t have to stay with me last night, I know those cots aren’t too comfy.” I said, playing with a stray curl that had fallen out of the tie awkwardly. You felt bad for him really, you knew how small and not suited for someone so tall and broad they were.

“I wanted you in my room but Shinso took you off me. I didn’t want to let you go.” He admitted lowly, dropping his head and bringing it down next to my ear. His breath warm on the side of my face. My cheeks heating up, stepping back and out of his grip.

He looked sincere, his eyes honest as I looked into them, but I couldn’t fall for it. I wanted to believe him but deep down I knew how people really were. I knew that I couldn’t let anyone else in.

My friendship quota full, no matter how wet and handsome they currently looked standing before me.

“I’m going to wear you down Y/N.” He almost whispered, stepping out of his room to make up the space I made between us. His body pressed flushed against mine, the water from his torso wetting the material of my sweater. His hand came out and played with the bottom of the sweater, toying with the material between his fingers.

“Wear me down? Don’t say it like it’s so easy.” I admitted, looking up but not moving back. Our bodies, still pressed up against each other.

“I like a challenge.”

“I’m nothing like any of the villains you’ve face before.”

“I’m excited to find out just how different you are.” He said lowly, small smile on his face as his hand shifted under the sweater and rested on my waist, his other hand coming up and resting on my cheek. Holding me in place.

“I can feel it, this wall you have put up. From a past heart break or family drama, doesn’t matter. I’ll learn soon enough. Just know that I’m going to break it down and you are going to want to be with me just as badly as I want to be with you.” He stated so surely, his mouth inching closer to mine, his breath fanning my face. Stopping short of our lips touching, Todoroki shifting and kiss the corner of my mouth, right on the cheek.  

“We should go get some breakfast. Give me a minute.”

Without another word Todoroki turned and went back into his dorm, closing the door slightly to get changed. No, evidence on his face about what had just happened, or almost happened. Definitely the opposite of me who was beyond flustered, cheeks red and a little turned on.

                                                              *

The common room and kitchen looked different from when I saw it last. The couches were pushed back together, no empty bottles littered the floor and the space was completely bare of drunk teenagers unlike how it was when I left last night.

“Girl… so how are you feeling?” Mina asked, sitting next to me scooping food onto my plate.

“I have never been better; I feel so good about everything in my life right now. So balanced.” I said, looking over at her as she rolled her eyes.

“Sarcasm isn’t real humor extra. If you feel like shit you should just say it!” Bakugo said from the other side of me, nudging me with his arm. I had already thanked him for last night, feeling honored that he would stick up for me like that whereas Denki’s thanks would have to wait until he decided to emerge from his room.

“You have no reason to feel shit by the way. He is a fuck. He deserved the punch he got.”

“Not that I don’t agree with you, but I definitely think I should be held accountable for some of it. I mean he wouldn’t have acted like that if we weren’t sleeping together.” I stated, shrugging my shoulders and scooping food into my mouth.

“Just because you guys had sex doesn’t mean he can touch or talk to you like how he did. Once a dickhead always a dickhead.” Bakugo said back, sipping his tea.

You had to agree, the situation you were in last night had scared you. Watching Sen act like that startled you and reminded you that anyone was capable of anything under certain conditions. Before you could reply two large hands came down on your shoulders, squeezing lightly.

“Morning Y/N, sorry about last night. Sorry I couldn’t be there to help.” Kiri said sadly, concern clear in his tone.

“Where were you last night shitty hair?!” Bakugo yelled.

“I was with um Aiko… and Kameko and um whatever her twin sister’s name is.” Kiri said nonchalantly, scratching the back of his neck and sitting down in one of the spare seats at the table. I almost choked on my coffee, the fact that Eijiro Kirishima was casually talking about having a foursome over breakfast blowing my mind.

“Dude, you are my hero.” Mineta said, practically drooling as he looked at the red head.

“How do you even make that happen? What do you say?” Mineta asked.

“I do this thing called um respecting women and being a top guy. Something you clearly haven’t grasped.” Kiri said, slapping Mineta’s hand away that was held out for a high five. Bakugo chuckled to himself, turning back to his food as Mineta still probed Kiri for details. Which the latter absolutely didn’t divulge.

The mood felt nice. Comfortable. I was grateful to call these people my friends and know that we could talk and be like this together. As I looked around I didn’t miss Todoroki who kept his eyes firmly on me, which he seemed to be making a habit of and Momo, who had her eyes fixed on him

[wickedpact]

You can't just drop that "I read Forces Multiplied" bomb on us and not give a ten page written reaction.

[cracks knuckles] if u insist

nicky cant drive hc: destroyed. rip. also i loved how andy and nile stole those sports cars and were being badass and driving off the bridge & meanwhile joe and nicky were just absolutely vibing in the van

'heres the thing about power: people who have it think they deserve it' [shot of police car] i see u greg

5 whole panels being dedicated to booker not being able to unlock his door. booker not even seeing noriko sitting RIGHT THERE in the window at first. incredible

noriko being 24/7 horny was surprising. like wow all of the stuff i saw she did out of context was 100% equally horny in context as it was out of context. love that for her

i didnt think the 'andy + slavery' thing was handled as badly as everyone made it out to be when telling me about it. tho from the way it was talked about i had kind of figured the conflict between andy and nile re: slavery would be really racially charged (esp considering nile is a black american and would obvs have Thoughts on the subject in that regard) but like,, done in a cringey 'a-white-guy-obviously-wrote-it' kind of way? but it wasnt that. i mean. it makes sense that andy would be implicit in slavery through the years

i mean, like she says, is that not what people just did to each other in the aftermath of battles for thousands of years? and i really like how its pointed out that it was what she was raised with (in the beginning when you see her put shackles on that guy after the battle) but she also accepts responsibility for it and acknowledges that it was wrong and not just 'what people did'.

i like how from her expressions you can kind of tell baby andy knew it was off but she sets those feelings aside bc she felt angry. it explains how she felt but didnt make her out to be blameless in it. plus i mean. i dont know, the fact that andy was involved in a lot of morally shady stuff for 7000 years is not that wild for me. if you live that long youre just Going to be involved in some shit, and she didnt even have other immortals with her as positive community influences, she literally just did whatever the fuck she wanted for thousands of years

'i was worshipped as a god once' i mean, yeah no shit she wouldve been involved in some seriously fucked up stuff, gods were fucking scary back in the day

tldr it could use some polish but it wasnt that bad

tho everything people said about moose being boring was unfortunately a little true. sorry king i tried to be interested in you

joe and nicky writing verbal fanfiction about nile and moose was iconic. 'you seeing that?' 'i am definitely seeing that'

it was also extremely funny bc that was like 60% of their contribution to the whole comic, besides kidnapping copley. they came, they wrote some fanfic, they left. kings. at least in tog1 they had an excuse to be useless bc they got kidnapped

joe just found out his old friend who he thought was dead is alive (and also probably wants to murder them) and instead of investigating with andy he stopped to help nile up. champ.

nicky shooting noriko through andy was cool. rip to the concept since it wont happen in tog2

wanna see mr ejiofor deliver this line

on that note imo copley was. weirdly enough, more interesting in fm than in tog1. to me at least. the fact that andy let him live and he was so haunted by what had happened that he came back and sought them out despite knowing they would likely kill him for it bc he wanted to not only make up for what hed done but also to tell them what theyd done for the world was admittedly more interesting than andy just kind of drafting him to the cause and him going 'okie'

i like how nicky was drawn in this one. in opening fire he looks like a blob man but in fm he looks more like a very nice grampa with a very good dye job

'theres no pain like a broken heart' andy 🥺

noriko implying andy's never drowned. .. .idk about that one, she musta drowned sometime

joe and nicky came, they waxed poetic about nile's love life, they waxed poetic about grog, and then they left.

sports bras being a reason humanity is good. i mean..... okay, yeah.

i mean. wild but you cant exactly tell her shes wrong

i liked how noriko telling andy that their purpose is to make people suffer coincides with joe and nicky finding out that they actually did good all those years

joenicky in opening fire: jail for booker jail for booker for 100 years

joenicky when copley tells them he knows where booker is: WE'LL KILL YOU WHERE IS HE

joenicky when copley comes back: if your vibes come off as even remotely rancid we Will destroy you

joenicky 2 minutes later when copley helped them find booker: he made up some ground :)))) <3 lov you j cops

theyre forgiving af

moose: how old are you?? a hundred??? a thousand???

nile [vine voice]: I M 2 7 ?

alright andy you got me there

joe texts like my aunt

i dont know why noriko drowning andy in that car tickled me. Bad And Naughty Andromaches Get Put In The Pear Wiggler To Atone For Their Crimes.

the drowning sequence was cool

copley trying to talk to andy while she was like o_o at him was great

ive hit the picture limit but id seen that panel where nicky goes 'forgive me' as he kills a guy out of context and it was HILARIOUSLY anticlimactic for me to discover that there was literally no context to it. nicky just apologizes to random people he kills. i thought that guy was someone he knew or something. nope its just Some Guy that nicky didnt know from adam

nile's complaint that andy was especially brutal to the guys on the boat... i mean. . , how exactly does one kill a man with an axe and not be brutal about it?

it was funny how noriko kissed andy and the only people who seemed surprised by that were nile and also andy

nicky and joe's complete non-reaction to finding out noriko is alive And Evil Now is endlesly funny. they just left her on that boat and neither cared. i get book and nile not caring but joe and nicky knew her, and they just have 0 input on the subject of what to do with her

pinstripe suit guy!

joe and nicky and booker packing up and leaving with nile

andy blowing up at nile was A Moment tho

i dont know, i get why people didnt like the ending but its. .. . it makes more sense in the comicverse. bc the squad doesnt really. .. interact outside of jobs? i mean, think of the moon landing story in ttt. that was booker and joe and nicky doing a job and andy only showed up a for a couple minutes after it was done. or the brunch in the first issue of opening fire. the squad arent as tight in the comic, and andy often seems to do her own thing outside of work, so andy saying 'i dont want to do work anymore' and the squad being like 'alright bye then' makes more sense in this universe than the movie one

also i feel like greg was Trying to set up a thing where nile becomes the Leader of The Squad after andy dies but like. its not very well done since. . . i mean, nile hasnt spoken to booker since opening fire, (and she only knew him A Day). and shes known joe and nicky all that time, but there isnt really anything that indicates that they have any relationship at all, much less one that's grown. in all the comicverse the only time nile and nicky speak is in FM, and in that scene nicky tells nile about noriko. nile goes from someone who needs to be set aside to have background knowledge explained to her to being the Leader of the group with nothing in between. it kind of... comes out of nowhere.

on the other hand tho... i felt really bad for andy thru the whole thing. well, i always felt bad for andy, but in this one she seemed so miserable, especially since it really felt like none of the others actually.... cared about her. when noriko came back no one asked andy how she was doing (big question ik, but it wouldve showed they cared at least), nobody ever expressed any concern for her, no one even really seemed to want to be around her. in opening fire everyone was more distant than in the movie of course, but there were little moments where she would joke with joe, or nicky would try and comfort her, or stuff like that, but in FM it really felt like they just didnt really care about her. & in opening fire it felt a lot like andy's relationship with nile breathed some new life into her, but in FM it felt like all they did was argue. i get theyre not *as* close in the comics but it really felt like the only person who cared about andy at all was noriko (which was probably also how andy felt) but it just seemed to come out of nowhere. honestly i was reading and i was honestly agreeing with andy that she might just be better off if she did just die. opening fire, on the other hand, never make me feel that way

tho everyone made it sound like when the squad split up it was one of those cursed 'the found family leaves each other at the end of the journey' tropes. but guys i mean,,, this is the second installment out of three. that isnt the End. theyll come back in the third one and Dramatically Reunite to fight some baddies (probably those 'others' noriko mentioned). im guessing yitzhak fits into that too somehow.

anyways it wasnt That Bad but it made me kind of sad and the only Sweet Found Family vibes in it were when they saved booker. also they shouldve beefed up that nilemoose romance, it underwhelmed me. 6.5/10

i also ABSOLUTELY understand all of greg's comments about how you couldnt make FM directly into a movie, he always said that it had no plot and. i get it now. it really didnt have a plot sdfghjkl

[thedarkermelody]

teehees and grabs your hands, we'll go into the hole. together. [still tf one spoilers under here folks]

[i'll also use galvatron for alt megas] ough i like to imagine the Matrix is a Matrix, no matter the universe, yeah its' not the one that's suppose to be there, but even if it's a square hole the triangle peg can still go in. in a universe where OP didn't rise, i can imagine that resources would eventually run fully dry and make this a Cybertron that is not viable for life [maybe Primus is in statis following being mined through dry. Hollowed out, maybe it hasn't tried to find another Prime seeing what's lurking on them or maybe currently just not anyone suitable for Prime right now.]

Anyways, could always bring back the star eater machine thanks only thing in bayverse that seemed cool something those science minded put their backs all in to build in a world desperate for energy source. [Insert losing the light and being lost in the dark metaphor here.]

to be fair i think the thing that could have Optimus off guard enough to kidnapped, is a weakness that Galvatron would see and pounce on after going over those glitched memory files over and over for how to do this. -misses his friend, he misses him so badly it's like someone craved out his chest- just like pax's when he let him go- hes gone gone gone-

Something he and this Prime share. Unfortunately just cause they are enemies doesn't mean Megs and OP don't have an understanding of the other still even when it's something only built from violence and war now. Though I think he'd be caught off guard he'd only realize this isn't Megatron when it's too late to get away.

Now back onto Alt world to change topics, if the Quintessons aren't a problem, I feel like that it's fully possible the Decepticons would have started galactic level hunting to get energy for their society. If they are at war, then they are hard pressed to keep the assault up and ensure they have power which. Oof. That would make anyone insane enough to kidnap your dead friend from another universe if you thought they could help, even if you weren't a Megatron (who can never to anything but the extreme cause he is Just Like That)

The thing is Galvatron has ruled in this world for a long time, his broken trust from Sentinel and the deeply personal way he took it out would have influenced society you cannot tell me OP would not be at risk from some zealous loyalists who think the Prime has to Die. And don't know the Matrix can just fuck off at Will so what's the big deal [Slaps Tarn on the ass, this bitch can fit so much overzealot in him- /j] it would piss off Galvatron though and give him a chance to show off just how off the deep end he's gone in reaction to someone trying to kill Optimus, who would be horrified at someone being killed like that. Cause Optimus is a good person.

[Do I think Sentinel deserved to live? No he ruined many lifes, killed all the leaders of the planet, demoted a whole sub class of people to slaves/lesser then human with his actions. But it wasn't wrong of Pax to not want him to be murdered, to not want to declare themselves judge jury executor. Points at G1 Movie where that exact scenario is how we meet a Quintesson] Optimus though be in an awful scenario, cause he cares for his people, fellow transformers. If he can call the energon to flow on his world and make their lifes better, you know he would, he would so fast if he hadn't be in a war and understood just who would be in control of that Energon. that conflict would hurt cause OP has been fighting megatron and knows the depth of what power a megatron could do with a steady energy source in war. Now consider him having to think about Galvatron, waging interdimensional wars, if he isn't already commiting galactic ones.

The idea of Orion Pax getting doorstuck so no Prime! hit me like a truck i felt bad about how funny it was. Buuuuuuut you have to also consider in that route, just how BAD IT IS for this Universe's OP. To him he tried to stop his friend from killing Sentinel and was shot through by him, and then his friend dropped him to his death. That's the last memory he'd have coming back into this dimension in the present. He'd be up against his own friend whose been established and it be. Rough. I do love a good Hot Rod story too though, the idea of Prime managing to escape while on the run from Galvatron, and ends up in meeting a collection of bots who has a transformers that makes him think of him and D-16 back when they were still innocent...

Also for the energon going dry on universe one, i think that's a fun idea to think about! If it doesn't immediately stop but starts to slow, people would get tipped them off and cause a crisis cause what happened to Optimus! This panic being why Decepticons learn Optimus has gone missing missing cause you know the Autobots would try and hide that shit as long as they could while overturning everything looking for their leader. Megatron breaking the door to the Autobot base like that one big bird door meme: WHERE IS OPTIMUS PRIME!!!! The autobots: torn between the girlie screamers and the shoot first shoot second lot at this happening

includes transformers one spoilers under this i have thoughts that need an outlet after seeing the movie [after writing: this is basically a fanfic idea at this point. whoops]

the birth of megatron was so fucking hard hitting, the utter disgust megatron associates with primes thanks to sentinel that his exe friend now reps? ow anyways just, scenario idea where in sometime with the civil war between autobot and decepticons has been on for awhile you got megatron waking one day to himself as the supreme decepticon emperor of cybertron. the idea he was just fighting to take cybertron is almost distance in this strange scenario, just out of reach as he basks in his empire. before he thinks of Optimus. and of course he does, though he would love nothing more to crush and finally destroy the system of primes, all their lies and threat to his power forever, the problem with that lies in one thing. the matrix. sentinel pried it from zeta only for it to flee. megatron is better then sentinel that monster he is superior and right but the whims of a god just whisking away their source of energy is one he knows he cannot overcome for now until they learn to trap the matrix for good without a prime needed. but of course his call for prime has a reminder they smelted sentinel and buried him deep in the earth to rot for his crimes after his execution as justice to the miners who died. what? he wants to know where optimus prime is! which sparks confusion. A. New Prime? no one questions their lord to his face other then starscream asking if he's having hallucinations about a new prime since he didn't get to savor ending the traitor. of course megatron wouldn't like that kind of quip or snipe remark starscream might say, and choke out the seeker as his thoughts clash Optimus who? the thought is so wild so rage inducing cause OPTIMUS! OPTIMUS PRIME! HIS VILE ENEMY. The- -the traitor he dropped to his death? megatron throws starscream and orders everyone out, who run from their unpredictable leader as he sits on his throne clutching his helm. prime. PRIME DAMMIT. there isn't a prime, he killed the last one and ended their lies, WHERE IS OPTIMUS-! his thoughts fight against each other as conflicting memories clash against another mech's who finds it hard to even think of prime and his rise. which is insane- the traitor died for daring to defend sentinel- OPTIMUS ROSE with his DEATH- he killed elita and b and took the helm of cybertron- No, Prime came and fought him and banished him like the coward he is- never was willing to finish the job which is why he died- the clarity of just what the other voice in his head saying hits as hard as the day he learned his life was a lie. He killed Orion Pax and no one rose in his place. The Primes are dead in this world. and doesn't that hurt, the owner of this body starts to rips through the memory files that has be inserted in his helm for the one of a new enemy rising, sees video of him with the matrix and thinks 'why.' megatron fights back against, seeing a world never had energy flow again, everyone who dared voice against him and rein having tcogs ripped out for the victims of the system to reclaim something ravenous claws at the memories of megatron, of life flowing on their world again, of orion pax optimus prime and what they had stolen, taken, refused to them, their world dying without the matrix, struggling to fight the quintessons and steal back what was taken from him in the first place. but this brief event that caused this eventually boots megatron back to his own world, leaving behind a mech who cackles with a fevor that belies the insanity in them. the one on the throne rises his helm and swears it. He will have what that world has. -ending notes! i briefly considered having this other world's leader now be a galvatron, didn't follow through on the idea but you can consider it him if you want. -i imagine a world where op never rose is a very hard one for the transformers to just survive much less thrive, seeing a world where your friend didn't stay dead from what you did with natural energy resources again? would be the kind of thing any leader would crave for themselves in this situation.

-if this other worlder would try and find a way to get to that world or try and force find a prime to have that for themselves is your call.

in the case of a galvatron on the throne world, can have a hot rod in a scenario of trying to find a prime to bring underheel to win their war and restore their planet makes sense, though if galvatron exists in this one cause of a deal for power from unicorn then that would be awkward...

though a far more hardened megatron kidnapping op whose in the middle of two front war is also a very hilarious vision cause you know that guy would inspite of the kidnapping want to help this other version of his home, though he'd REALLY like to go home

[genshinconfessions]

Theorist Anon again.

Matpat... At this point I'd rather he not do ANYTHING about Genshin

When browsing on the Genshin lore subreddit and in the comments a lot of people brought up that it was a theory to get new people interested in the story, but it was just so...unappealing.

Now I love revisiting simple theories because it's just easy to lose yourself in the details. It's always nice to get a reminder and a simple recap.

But it was just so forced. "We said Snezhnaya right that means we did out research" and then he can't say Khaenri'ah? The joke just misses the mark so badly. Details that aren't hard to find like the fact that Scaramouche took the gnosis and left (Also big yikes calling Yae a 'bad staff' even though she traded the gnosis for the Traveller's life.) are just forgotten so in his theory, the Tsaritsa has 4 gnoses already, when in reality she has 3 only.

Lastly, my biggest personal pet peeve. The Venti slander, something that just cements in my mind he didn't do his research because lore-wise Venti is a fascinating and enigmatic character. If you've ever been interested in lore you must at least hold some interest for this shady, funny little gremlin of a bard.

But instead, he is insulted and retrograded to the rank of an "ignorant and shortsighted god", even going as far as to imply that the freedom he gave his people shouldn't be portrayed as a good thing (and we know that the lack of freedom in Mondstadt were never good times. Decarabian sucked so much his rule was ended by a whole revolt and the aristocracy were absolute assholes.) That and that he wasn't helping when a dragon attacked Mondstadt, something he did. Twice. Durin and Stormterror. HE WOKE UP FROM HIS SLUMBER JUST TO HELP.

It screams "I'm half-assing it for the sponsor." And it's heartbreaking as a very long time GT watcher to see that someone I genuinely admire do a game I love so dirty despite its intricate lore and interesting concepts. Thank you for reading.

ohhh okay see i didn't actually watch through his video because i didn't have the time so i'm glad you gave us a recap!

spoilers alerts through the entire post!

the thing with yae is that i'm sure she's much more involved in the story than we think... she's been in charge of inazuma for a long time (since ei went into isolation) and as been established, she's old, so i'm sure she knows exactly what's going on. whether or not her trading the gnosis was premeditated, i'm sure we'll find out sooner or later, but you're right that for sure she didn't want traveller to die LOL.

i'm not sure if he counted ei's gnosis in tsaritsa's gnosis count; if he did, then yes technically she DOES have four (remember she has her own gnosis!) but ofc since scaramouche sort of ran off and is doing his own thing, you're right that she only really has three.

i agree with you that venti is such a lore-rich character! and actually, i'm about 80% sure that we're either going to revisit mondstadt at the end, or the story will end in mondstadt; it just feels like we don't know enough about it, and there's SO much unexplored lore here.

anyway you're absolutely correct that venti chose freedom for his people because he's seen so much oppression. he witnessed decarabian's rule and made sure to never be like that; the aristocracy was something that he probably couldn't have controlled, but like you said, he heard vennessa's cries and woke up to help her.

it must be hard on your end, anon :(((( he seems like a cool dude, and i hope he does better in the future!

- katheryne from liyue

[stellar-lune]

*KOTLC incorrect quotes*

Anyways, a long list of incorrect KOTLC quotes, feel free to use these for anything if ya want!

-

Glimmer: Arson? Oh, you mean "crime brûlée".

-

Fitz: Oh, so when crows remember people who wronged them and hold grudges, its “intelligent” and “really cool”.

Fitz: But when I do it, I’m “petty” and “need to let it go”.

-

Keefe, holding up his class notes: And then this doodle of a burrito because when I first read Aristotle, I thought it was pronounced like “Chipotle”.

Marella, in shock: Wait a minute, is it “Chip-o-tottle”?

-

Sophie: I wasn't hurt that badly. Elwin said all my bleeding was internal, that's where the blood's supposed to be!

-

Police Officer: You have the right to remain silent.

Marella: I choose to waive that right!

Marella: *screaming*

-

Brant (whoops sorry bout this one): Do not come over to my house. If the house is on fire you may knock once, if I don’t answer assume I set the fire and I want to burn to death.

-

Sophie: I would never say that my best friend is a bitch and I don’t like her. That’s not true… Biana is a bitch and I like her very much!

-

Lex, Bex, Rex: If I can't cause tiny bits of chaos every day, I think my body will shut down.

-

Keefe on Tuesday: *glues a dime to the sidewalk* Heh heh heh.

Keefe on Wednesday: *walking down the street* Ooh hey! A dime!

-

Forkman, to the squad: And remember, if I get harsh with you it is only because you’re doing it all wrong.

-

Keefe, tearing up the room: Where are they?

Keefe, looking under a pillow: Who moved them? Who moved my children?

Keefe: Somebody moved my E.L. Fudges, and now I am going to run away again.

-

Tam: Your existence is confusing.

Keefe: How so?

Tam: Your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to you upsets me.

-

Sophie: I have one foot in the grave but in a kind of fun flirty way, the way one might slip on a fishnet stocking.

-

Linh: I've never encountered a problem that can't be solved by an spontaneous musical number.

-

Dex: Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle, and explode into bats to get out of all social situations.

-

Sophie: Fuck capitalism. It's a rigged system that keeps us poor and it isn't fair. You shouldn't need to work three jobs to afford basic necessities.

Sophie, playing Monopoly: Sorry, if you wanted to win you should have tried not being poor.

-

Dex, to Stina: If karma doesn't hit you, I fucking will.

-

Sophie: My life isn't as glamourous as my wanted poster makes it look.

-

Dex: If I'm extra sarcastic with you it probably means I'm flirting with you or you really annoy me and I can't handle your crap... have fun figuring out which one, Wonderboy.

-

Marella: As someone who has a long history of not understanding anything, I feel confident in my ability to continue not knowing what is going on.

-

Fitz: I'm a firm believer in "if you're going to fail, you might as well fail spectacularly."

-

*out grocery shopping*

Linh: *takes a free sample twice*

Linh: Robbery and fraud. I am a Rebel (TM) .

-

Sophie: Sometimes I wonder if I’m hearing voices.

Sophie: Then I remember that’s the last bit of sanity I have trying to get me to fall asleep at a reasonable time.

-

Sophie: Does anyone know how to relax? Asking for a friend.

-

Demon: Hey, I took your soul last month and-

Tam: No returns.

Demon: *sobbing* But it's making me sad...

-

Dex: So, according to my university, it is, quote, “my responsibility if there is an internet outage to contact the faculty and the department.”

Dex: Now, if you’re a critical thinker like me, you might be wondering one thing.

Dex: HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO EMAIL THE DEPARTMENT?!?!?!

-

Tam: Hey, what’s the name of the other guy who lives with Tiergan?

Linh: His cats' names are Walter and Rose.

Tam: That's not what I asked.

Linh: That is all the information I have.

-

Keefe: Ro, remember when you said you weren’t going to interfere with my love life?

Ro: No, that doesn’t sound like me at all.

(alternatively, Alden)

-

Linh: Ayo, what the FUCK is this?!?

Tam, sitting down, surrounded by corpses: I won Mafia, that’s what.

-

Marella: I'd roast you, but my mom says you can't burn trash.

Marella: *slow-mo walks out of the room*

-

Biana: I'm gonna get my piolet's license. I've already got a driver's license and a cosmetology license, that's two of the big five licenses.

Fitz: The big five licenses?

Biana: Driver's license, cosmetology license, pilot's license, fishing license, and… license to kill! I can't wait to get that one.

-

Dex: You are irrationally angry 365 days a year.

Fitz: Well, that’s just your personal opinion, I don’t have anger issues. Biana, do you think I have anger issues?

Biana: Well, I wouldn’t really call it an issue. An issue is something you can fix.

-

Keefe: So how’s the food Sophie made?

Fitz: It's great! Compliments to her.

Keefe: *goes to the kitchen*

Keefe: You're adorable.

Sophie: *blushes*

-

Biana: And now for a gay update with Linh and Marella.

Marella: Getting gayer.

Biana: Thank you, Marella.

-

Sophie: Hey, do you know the password to Keefe’s computer?

Biana: I love you, Sophie.

Sophie: Aww, that’s so swe—

Biana: No, you misunderstood, the password is "iloveyouSophie".

Sophie: Oh, no numbers? Not very safe.

-

Fitz: Hey, Biana, are you free on Friday? Like around eight?

Biana: Yeah.

Fitz: And you, Tam?

Tam: Umm... yes?

Fitz: Great! Because I'm not. You two go out without me. Enjoy your date!

Biana: Did he just-

-

Sophie: Do you cook?

Biana: I made a cake once.

Fitz: Yeah, it was good.

Biana: Really?

Fitz: Don’t make me lie twice, Biana.

-

Dex: Nice rock.

Keefe: Thanks, Tam gave it to me.

Tam: I threw it at you!

Keefe: Isn’t he the sweetest?

-

Juline: I just had a long talk with the triplets about hitting and now they are yelling “it’s my turn to perpetuate the cycle of violence” before hitting each other.

-

Sophie: I made you all playlists!

Sophie: Tam, yours has only heavy metal and punk, and is dark like your soul.

Sophie: Keefe, yours has sad songs and blues to pair with your crippling depression.

Sophie: And Biana has the ABBA Gold album.

-

Fitz: A pessimist sees a dark tunnel.

Biana: An optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel.

Dex: A realist sees a freight train.

Tam: The train driver sees three idiots standing on train tracks.

-

Mr. Forkle: For self defense reasons, I'm going to pretend to be a burglar and you guys have to act wisely.

Biana, Keefe, & Sophie: Okay.

Mr. Forkle: If you don't want to die, give me all your money.

Biana: Bold of you to assume I have money.

Keefe: Bold of you to assume I don't want to die.

Sophie: Bold of you to assume I can die.

-

Sophie: My life is a little too much panic and not enough disco.

Keefe: My life is a little too much fall and not enough boy.

Dex: My life is a little too much chemical and not enough romance.

Marella: My life is a little too much imagination and not nearly enough dragons.

-

Biana: What’s it like being tall?

Marella: Is it nice?

Sophie: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards?

Fitz: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb four chairs, two boxes, a small coffee table, and six oddly placed stools to get what they want.

-

Stina: You have friends and I envy that.

Marella: You're welcome to share my friends.

Stina: *looks at Dex and Sophie*

Stina: I don't want those.

-

Della: Tommorrow's garbage day.

Fitz: I can't believe you made a whole day dedicated to Alvar.

-

Linh: Bottling up negative emotions is bad for your health, so you shouldn't do it.

Tam: I know, that's why I bottle up all my emotions, both positive and negative, so it cancels out.

Linh: Th-that's not how that works-

-

Marella: Do you want to know your gay name?

Linh: My... my gay name?

Marella: Yeah, it's your first name-

Linh: Haha. Very funny Marella-

Marella: *gets down on one knee* And my last name.

Linh: Oh- oh my god.

-

Glimmer: You know you've made it when you see your picture everywhere you go.

The Black Swan: Those are wanted posters!

-

Biana: Are you mad?

Tam: No.

Biana: So sharpening your knives at 3 in the morning is just a hobby?

-

Keefe: Astrology is fun because i can pretend that all of my behaviors are just a result of being a Gemini and not symptoms of mental illness.

Biana: Being a Gemini is a mental illness. That’s not hate it’s just a fact.

-

Biana: *on the phone* Hey Fitz, do you know my blood type?

Fitz: Of course, it's A+.

Biana: Oh, I guessed wrong. Excuse me, nurse-!

-

Fitz, to Sophie: Are you ready to commit?

Sophie: Like, a crime or a relationship?

-

Literally Anyone: Hey, aren’t you Sophie Foster?

Sophie: You a Councillor?

Literally Anyone: No.

Sophie: Then yes, I am.

-

Sophie: I typed "bitch" into my GPS and guess what? I'm in your driveway.

Stina:

Sophie: Vroom vroom, come out already.

Stina: I’m gay—

Sophie: Not what I meant, but cool.

-

Keefe: Remember that time you dared me to lick a swingset?

Sophie: No, I said "Keefe, don't lick that swingset" and you said "Don't tell me what to do" and licked the swingset.

-

Mr. Forkle: I’m not so sure you’re stakeout material.

Sophie: I’m a chronic insomniac, I was born for this.

-

Juline: I only have two emotions: exhaustion and stress. And I’m somehow always feeling both simultaneously.

-

Marella: *gets set on fire and screams in agony*

Marella: Nah, I’m just kidding. Fire does nothing to me.

-

Biana: Maybe the true treasure was friendship all along. But I hope not, because I can’t spend friendship on new clothes

-

Dex: Do you want to play 20 Questions?

Fitz: Sure!

Fitz: Whats your favorite color?

Dex, laser fucking focused: Triangle. Do you like men?

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Tony Stark’s Daughter (The Aftermath)

Tony Stark x daughter!reader

warnings:

a/n: y/n is about 17 or 18; i cried while writing this. sorry this is really long!!! pls forgive me 🥺

prompt: takes place from a3 to smffh

The Early Years (1) The Teenage Years (2) The Intense Years (3) Continued (5)

let’s start on a happy note! ahahah

so for a while, earth was calm

you, pepper, and tony got to be a family for a while

wedding planning!

of course you got to try the ben&jerry’s ice cream named after your dad: Stark Raving Hazelnuts

“it’s not fair that you got ice cream named after you and i didn’t”

“well, when you grow up to be as awesome as me, maybe you’ll get your own ice cream flavor”

developing nanotech suits together for a Bonding Experience(tm)

speechless after the first test

“dad, this is...”

“the coolest thing to ever exist?”

“yes!!”

yall ready for some shit?

the day that ebony maw invaded was pretty—what’s the word? interesting? no. well, yes, but...HORRIBLE.

it all started when you got the call from your dad

“y/n, incoming call from ‘big fat meanie’”

“god, i really have to change that. okay, JOSHIE, answer it. hey, dad? what’s up?”

“hey, kid! you know that weird ass building on bleecker street? how fast can you get here?”

“JOSH can you track FRIDAY really quick? lets see how far dad is...uh, okay, be there in five, see ya”

taking your suit for a spin and realizing how GREAT it was to be able to basically fold up your suit and put it in your back pocket

knocking on the door and it opened on its own, it was kinda cool

“is this a museum? cool.”

bruce turning around to see you after about three years and giving you an awkward smile and a wave while you stood frozen around the wizard-guys

“y/n, god, you’ve grown up!”

charging into him for a long overdue hug

“you don’t know how much i missed you. it’s been chaotic without you”

“i can...i can only imagine”

a debriefing on the situation you were about to face, and bonus! having to play the catch-up game with bruce

“just call him, dad. we need as much help as we can. steve will understand”

rushing outside to face off with some ugly-ass aliens

“oh nooo, it’s roger smith from american dad”

bruce: 👀, stephen: 👀, wong: 👀, tony: 👏👏🥰 that’s my girl

simultaneous nanosuit unveiling

“you ready for this one, pops?”

“of course! ive waited years to kick some more alien ass”

montage of you and tony getting your asses beat together (as a family <3)

peter showing up

“give me one good reason why i shouldn’t send you back to that school bus”

“because i’m good company?”

“whatever, just listen to whatever dad has to say, i forfeit my responsibilities over you”

pew pew, repulsors, pew, tiny rockets! fun! action! destroying new york again and again. good times...

until JOSHUA gave you notice that your dad was flying high

“call him. now.”

“hey! how’s it going down there?”

“dad, you know how i feel about you and space”

“i know, i know. i just...i gotta take care of this. keep pepper safe for your old man, okay?”

“i lo—l—ve y—”

“y/n? y/n?! i love you! shit!”

“we lost connection with her, sir”

trying to call peter

“call failed, y/n. should i try again?”

“i’m gonna kill them...”

walking through the rubble to find bruce, the only sensible man you know

taking him to the avengers compound asap to get to rhodey and figure out what comes next

meanwhile, tony was dealing with space and another teenager

and worrying a lot about leaving you on earth

“i mean, mr. stark, y/n’s one of the most capable people i know. she’s probably trying to fix this whole mess as we speak”

“i didn’t get to tell her i love her”

“oh...”

having a lovely meeting with thaddeus ross with rhodey, having a lovely time watching them passive-aggresively argue until your former teammates arrived

having to patiently (and professionally) wait for ross to hang up before running into them for a hug

“holy shit, you guys have no idea how bad i’ve wanted to see you. it sucks not being all together anymore”

“i know, y/n. we’ve all missed you.” -cap

“a lot” -nat added

bruce’s little entrance that was sure to bring some awkwardness

you, secretly freaking out about your dad

sam was the one that found you crying after you “stepped out” for a few minutes too long

“oh, y/n,” he was contemplating grabbing someone else to step in, but decided to sit next to you in the hallway, “i’m sorry, kiddo. i can’t promise you anything, but your dad is a fighter. a big pain in the ass. i think your odds are good”

laughing through your tears

“yeah, you’re right. thanks, sammy”

he gave you a little hug while you calmed down

getting to business, the ass-kicking kind

as the wise natasha romanoff once said to your father, you were being “uncharacteristically non-hyper verbal”

your mind did this funny thing...wandered into places it really should not go

the talk about sacrificing vision led to wakanda, where you had a swell time patrolling

“guys! we’ve got incoming. a lot of incoming”

well-deserved uncle/niece team up. who wouldve thought?

you would have nightmares about these aliens for years to come

“you get to die, and you get to die! everybody gets to die!”

“y/n, what did we talk about?” -rhodey

“using humor as a defense mechanism makes the team uncomfortable...”

covering the girls 😌 because we gotta have those all-girl teamups, uh-huh?

some more blasting

thor made his comeback and you just could not miss it

“hi, thor!”

you landed next to him and your helmet receded

“well, hello, miss y/n! good to see you again! my, you got taller...oh! meet my friends: rabbit and tree”

having a “what the actual fuck” moment upon seeing thanos for the first time

and flying at him from behind with a massive nanotech blade ready to kill this purple bastard

but he grabbed your arm and flung you into the dirt, that was gonna leave a mark

“i just had to make a suit when i was ten...no one stopped me, huh? i couldn’t be elon’s kid, he was a nice guy”

watching thanos snap his fingers and looking around to see dust floating through the air and thanos retreat

“rhodey? uncle rhodey?!”

“i’m right here, kid, don’t worry”

he grabbed your hand while you were dusting

“tell my dad i love him, promise?”

fading away and leaving rhodey with your last words

he was mad before anything else

all he could think about was a promise your dad made him take years back

“rhodey, you keep my daughter safe no matter what, promise?”

the avengers recooperating at the compound, waiting to figure out whether any of the space-crew survived

they had to let pepper know that you didn’t make it, she was a mess upon hearing that news

tony finally making his way back to earth

and stumbling out of that ship

“where’s y/n? where is she?!”

“tony, tony, calm down”

“dont tell me to calm down! where is my daughter?!”

“she made me promise to tell you thay she loves you”

tony knew the answer by now, he lost his mind over your death

it didn’t feel right not having you by his side, for the past 18 years you’ve been with him

after a long period of recovery, tony and pepper moved on, got married, built a home, had a new daughter...

tony made sure there was a spare room for you

he put all the things you left behind in it

there were so many photos of you in the house

and he’d show your sister, morgan, all of them. he wanted morgan to know her sister

“that’s y/n when she built her first robot. it snuck up on me a few times. it went ‘boo!’”

morgan loved the stories about you, but she didn’t understand why she couldn’t see you

“when do i get to meet her?”

“uh...maybe someday, sweetie”

after being unbothered for almost 5 years, the remaining avengers came back with a plan that was so tempting, he just wanted his little girl back

cracking under pressure and telling pepper that he couldn’t ignore this mission because it was his chance to get you back

“get her back, tony”

“you think so?”

“i miss her, too.”

and so it began, he made it his mission to get you back

peeking at the wallet picture of you on his shoulders when you were so little

tony travelling to 2012; loki’s invasion

and there you were, the sassy genius 12 year old that he missed so much

“we’ve got this, tony, we’ll bring her home” -scott

and then things went badly and also 2012 tony went into cardiac arrest and 2012 y/n dove onto the floor to tend to him

“dad? give us some room, would you?!”

2023 tony smiling at how much he missed you worrying about him and how reckless he was

but also...the mission kinda went bad so that sucked

push it a bit farther back and now tony was with grandpa stark! asking how to be a dad and all that!

he could barely stand still waiting for you to come back to him, god he missed you more than he thought

and after a bit of hard work, it was time to snap

just like that, you were back in wakanda, puzzled by the gap in time before one of dr. strange’s portals opened in front of you

and then you were in the ruins of the avengers compound

“JOSHUA, can you locate my dad?”

“i think you’ll be able to see him”

“wow, i cant believe i programmed your cocky artificial ass”

“i think you can”

seeing your dad flying high and patching into the comms

“miss me, old man?”

and then he hit the gas to get to you and when this man hugged you, you almost couldn’t let go

“i’m so sorry, y/n. god, i’m sorry. these last five years...i was so lost without you”

“it’s okay, dad, i’m here now”

getting shot at during your reunion

“son of a bitch...we’re having a family moment here, asshole!”

yes, im gonna say it again. of course i am! and.........father/daugher team-up

the last one

“peter, is that you? you asshole! i cant believe you went to space without me!”

“missed you too!”

rhodey!! cant forget about uncle rhodey!!

“you gave my dad the message, right?”

“it was your dying wish, of course i did!”

“great. don’t forget i love you, too, rhodey!”

“couldn’t let me forget it”

lest we forget that pepper joined the fight?

plot twist: (step)mother/daughter team-up

mother/father/daugher team up!!!! ultimate stark machine!!!!!!!

and then you left him alone for 5 minutes and he’s got the infinity stones and you know it’s the last time you’re going to see him and you cant decide what your next move is and you’re just frozen and you cant catch your breath and he snaps and your heart plummets

you have to rush to his side, the last time you can sit beside his tired body and let him know that its going to be okay

“hey dad, it’s okay, we’re gonna be fine. thank you for everything”

peter grabbing your hand as you both sobbed next to your dad, feeling robbed of your time with him

pepper brought you home where she told you all about the five years you missed

both of you just cried harder than you’ve ever cried before

“so i have a sister?”

morgan was so happy to meet you, she couldn’t contain herself, practically latched onto you

and she didn’t fully understand what happened to tony

you saw your new room for the first time and didn’t leave it for a while, occasionally pepper or morgan would pop in

morgan actually crawled into bed with you a few times

the funeral was one of the worst days of your life

the remnants of your young life pulled back together for one day

then you hid back in your room before you heard a knock

“who is it?”

“it’s happy”

“come in”

“hey, kiddo. me and morgan are gonna get some cheeseburgers, you wanna come?”

she really was a stark

after a long hibernation, you started to get back into the groove of your old life

but the press was brutal and harsh, you were bombarded with questions regarding your dad

it took everything not to explode on camera

you stayed in contact with the rest of the avengers, mourning your dead, keeping the support system, staying a family

it was all you could get...for now

[ace-pierre-bezukhov]

My Great Comet dream roles ranked from i really wanna play this role to i would literally pay you to let me say sing one note as them

11. Helene - she’s so damn cool and badass that i WANT to play her, but i’m so afraid i wont be able to pull off her sheer Coolness™️. Also her song is HARD god i wish that were me

10. Andrey/OPB - Andrey’s a bitch ass. However, pierre and andrey is one of my favorite songs to sing in the shower. Also i have been type cast as an old old senile man at least 3 times, so OPB is right up my alley

9. Dolokhov - he’s a funny little guy, i’m a funny little guy, its a match made in heaven. Also i’d have to learn the guitar for him, but i think Dolokhov playing a little ukulele would be comedy gold

8. Mary - god. Her vocals. Not only does she get some of the best harmonies, but she gets to be part of The Opera??? Sign me the fuck up

7. Balaga - i just want to be a dirty chaos gremlin! Is that so much to ask!!

6. The Ensemble - i want to dance around with an instrument (im learning accordion!) and the HARMONIES!! THE HARMONIES YOU GUYS!!

5. Sonya - she’s got THEE most gorgeous songs, even if they are a smidge low. She’s just so sweet i want so badly to dissect her brain for character development purposes

4. Marya - girlboss. Need i say more. (I will: i just want to sing In My House SO BAD)

3. Anatole - my type when it comes to dreamroles is Assholes with a questionable heart of gold who become better people (sorta). Anatole is just an asshole but by god do i want to see him played by a woman. Namely me

2. Natasha - the most realistic dream role on this list tbh. I might either die or astral project into another plane of existence if i ever got to play her. HER SONGS ARE SO PRETTY. I WANNA BE PRETTY DISNEY PRINCESS TOO 😫

1. Pierre - duh. I mean. How could we have ever seen this coming /sarc. Pierre will always and forever be my dream role in this show. His arc and his music and his vibe are everything to me and i love him so so much. (Im learning the goddamn ACCORDION have i mentioned that) i will not be normal until i get to sing Dust And Ashes on stage. Actually maybe not even then

[mst3kproject]

The Astral Factor

This movie has a great deal to offer the MSTie. It was written by Arthur C. Pierce, who did the same job on The Human Duplicators, and it can boast the presences of Leslie Parrish of The Giant Spider Invasion, Frank Ashmore of Parts: the Clonus Horror, and Rayford Barnes from Mitchell.  The premise is ludicrous but presented with a perfectly straight face, and the whole thing just oozes 70’s-ness.

Roger Sands is a man of many talents, the most important of which for our purposes is his ability to become invisible in a shower of disco sparkles.  This allows him to escape from prison, argue with his mother’s ghost (who apparently throws bangin’ parties in the afterlife) and go on a killing spree. The cops know who they’re hunting because he’s left fingerprints all over the place, but they have no idea how he’s moving around unseen.  Fortunately, the prison psychologist knows some psychics who might be able to help them out… but will they be in time to save the various celebrities Sands is stalking, women who remind him of his own neglectful mother?

The main impression one gets from The Astral Factor is that it’s a parade of clichés.  The first victim is killed in a bubble bath.  Chuck the detective gets dragged out of bed to come investigate the case, which makes his girlfriend pout because she was hoping for sex. The killer is obsessed with his mother. Dogs and birds can sense Sands’ presence when he’s invisible.  Chuck’s girlfriend is a terrible cook.  That sort of thing.  None of this needs to kill a movie, of course… clichés become clichés because they work.

Much worse for the movie is that it isn’t very interested in its characters.  Sands’ backstory is that his mother was a movie star who thought it would ruin her career if it came out that she’d been briefly married and pregnant at the age of seventeen.  She therefore distanced herself from him, leaving him feeling unwanted and invisible (insert giant blinking neon sign that says METAPHOR) until he finally got fed up and strangled her.  This isn’t a bad setup for a movie’s serial killer, but the narrative doesn’t do much with it.  Sands has a list of women he wants to murder, but we never find out what makes them good potential victims beyond simply being famous blondes.  Surely there should be some moment of recognition, some sin they’ve each committed against their own families, but apparently ‘famous and blonde’ should be enough.

Opposed to Sands is, of course, Chuck the detective. He comes across as kind of a jerk but he does seem to love his empty-headed girlfriend Candy.  I think his arc is meant to be that he starts off skeptical of the paranormal but is eventually forced to believe, but this is pretty badly mishandled – when the prison psychiatrist talks about Sands’ interest in psychic phenomena, Chuck seems bored rather than disbelieving, and when a man demonstrates telekinesis in front of him, he accepts it but looks entirely unimpressed.  He never seems to be really affected by the phenomena he encounters.  Instead of a man whose worldview is shaken to the core, Chuck appears to be merely annoyed that this is yet another thing he has to deal with.

The other possible arc Chuck has is that Candy suggests he get a job with ‘normal hours’ so that she no longer has to make coffee for his co-workers when they come to tell him about a murder in the middle of the night.  He says he’ll think about it, but there’s no follow-up.

Finally, there’s Christine, the potential victim that we’re supposed to get attached to and worry about.  She’s a spoiled trophy wife who hangs around in her mansion drinking while her husband, who lost all interest in her once she turned thirty, is out of town.  The problem with her is that she doesn’t have much by way of a personality. In one scene she’s grateful for the cops protecting her, in the next she’s telling them to piss off and let her go shopping in peace, and then suddenly she’s sobbing in her room.  Are these supposed to be mood swings?  It feels more like neither the writers nor the actress cared enough to figure out who she is.

I guess that brings us to the movie’s misogyny, which is as rich and gooey as the inside of a lava cake but does not taste like chocolate.  First of all, Sands’ problems are said to be his mother’s fault – she abandoned him, leaving him no choice but to murder women who remind him of her!  The prison psychologist specifically absolves Sands of responsibility for his own crimes.  He cannot be reformed, he cannot be helped, he must be locked up because his mother’s selfishness (more interested in her own career than in raising her son) destroyed his mind.  Never mind that there are people with neglectful or even abusive parents who don’t grow up to be serial killers.

The women Sands kills are celebrities – models, dancers, actresses, socialites – because they remind him of his fame-obsessed mother.  But as I previously mentioned, they’re not really all that like her.  We don’t see any signs of any of them having families they neglect.  The only one who even seems to have a husband is Christine and it’s him who neglects her.  Perhaps the point is supposed to be that Sands has misjudged them, but we don’t see any signs of them being better than his mother in this respect, either.  Most of them seem to have avoided children in order to focus on their careers.  Perhaps in the mind of a male writer in the 70’s, this is itself a sin.

Certainly the movie is not interested in these women as characters.  I’ve already discussed Christine, but there are others.  The first one comes home, takes a bath, and dies.  The second one is working on a painting when her dog runs off – she chases it, and she and the dog both die.  The third is the dancer at her rehearsal.  She has the creeps for no reason, does her rehearsal, and dies. The emphasis is always on their bodies: they’re sexy, then they’re dead.  The sequence with the dancer is particularly weird, with her male partner representing the devil dressed in some kind of bondage getup.

The most frustrating thing about The Astral Factor, though, is that it really doesn’t know what to do with its premise.  It keeps bringing up interesting ideas about what a psychic murderer might be able to do, and then just drops them.

The opening scene, in which Sands escapes from jail after telekinetically beating up his cellmate with furniture, seems to promise us a much more exciting movie than we get.  After escaping, Sands visits the cemetery and his heart-to-heart with ghost mom is interrupted by a security guard. Sands uses his powers to push the guy into an open grave and bury him alive!  I wanted to see more of this kind of thing, but after that Sands seems to forget he can do anything besides the ‘becoming invisible’ thing.  Later victims are either beaten or strangled, as if they were killed by some loser who doesn’t have any psychic powers.  Perhaps he has to strangle the women because that’s how he killed his mother, but he does the same thing to bodyguards and boyfriends when we know he has more creative means at his disposal.

The rest of the movie is also at odds with the title, which suggested this would be a movie in which Sands sits in jail the whole time, astral-projecting himself into his victims’ homes to strangle them. This idea is discussed, but it is in no way what happens so I’m not sure why they brought it up.  There are a couple of reasonably effective scenes, as when it’s implied that Sands is invisible inside his first victim’s apartment but we can’t be absolutely sure until he starts interacting with objects.  The bit where the dancer is strangled onstage and people don’t intervene because they think it’s part of the show… that’s another cliché but it works all right.

The Astral Factor also has no interest in how psychic powers work.  They’re shown to require great concentration for the guy demonstrating them at the institute, but Sands seems to throw things around effortlessly.  Why is that?  Where did he get these powers?  Just by reading about them?  Can anybody learn to do this or just certain people?  If the latter, what makes Sands special?

In trying to catch his invisible killer, Chuck shows very little creativity.  I can think of a bunch of ways to try to thwart an invisible man.  What about filling a room with mist or smoke?  What about scattering flour on the floor to show his footprints? What about physical tripwires? None of these are ever suggested. Nor does anybody ever come up with the idea of fighting back psychically.  If anybody can learn these powers, that could have been a cool thing for Chuck to have to do – not only come to terms with the fact that this exists, but having to figure out how to do it himself!  Or if only special people can do it, why not hire one of those psychics the scientists were working with?  If a parrot knows there’s an invisible man there, surely another psychic could figure it out!

The way they do eventually catch Sands is by having Christine speak to him as if she is his mother, which prompts him to reply, and the sound of his voice tells the cops where to aim their guns.  This works, but it’s not nearly as interesting as some of the other possibilities and does not reveal anything new about Sands himself.

Watching people get ‘strangled’ by something invisible is always fun, and The Astral Factor has a couple of really funny special effects (I especially like the cellmate pretending to be in a fight with his mattress), but mostly the movie is a disappointment.  It had potential to be way scarier and way more fun if it were willing to explore its premise a little more deeply, but all it really wants to show us is blonde women getting killed.