#ITS ALL SO CUUUUTE

[actuallykiwi]

AHHH OMG @nuttersincorporated THANK YOU SO MUUUUCH!!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!!! The Wheatley is cuddly 😭 and the magazine is so fun! And since our tree isn't up, I'm gonna hang the little ornament on my microphone 💙

THANK YOU!!! You're an amazing @portal-secret-santa!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[thatnununguy]

Okaaaay, okaaaay! Let's dump this art! Let's dump this art all in a big pile!

[stunie]

i wish i had the confidence to commission self shipping w characters 😭 all the ones you get are so cute but i fear being judged or being awkward way too much AHHHH

?! ehh ?! taking your refs and leaving to go send a dm to an artist myself. absolutely not!! absoluutely not.

i (along with everyone i know!) loveeee to see selfship art !! actually brightens my day. sometimes i see a moot reblog selfship art from a blog i don’t know and i sit and wither away because i want to reblog it and say it’s cute but they don’t know me & i don’t wanna be a weirdo 🧎‍♀️yk? but that’s way off topic. what i was trying to get at is no !!!! do nottt be scared of that nonnie.

it’s your blog. you can do as you wish!! if i was an artist i would just draw u selfship art against your will >:( /lh

um i said this to someone a while back. maybe it might help? i’m not sure. i care very much about your selfship and would love to see if you got a comm 🥺

[greetingsfromuranus]

Can you draw how Double D baked cookies? :3

ive been tryin but i forgot how to draw his face again........ one day ill figure this one out

[irukasenseii]

"I should take more time off."

[hungerpunch]

u guys i grew this swamp milkweed from seed starting in february inside and pretty much thought i killed them when i transplanted them into the yard but they really started taking off suddenly and then yesterday i was rewarded with the sight of them starting to bloom :')

i didnt expect them to be so dainty and delicate 🥺 they're critical hosts for monarch butterflies but also generally good for all types of butterflies and bees. and they can grow in clay, which is what most of our yard is! \o/

[six-of-ravens]

PRETTY MAIL TODAY!!!!

[addictivewhispering]

congratulations on breaking ur goalless streak today honey 🥳

[loseractivities]

i adore these❤️❤️ 2 is so cuteee ugrgrghh.. u nailed stus face in 4 so much im actually jealous of your skills. the colors?? the proportions?? jesus!!! 1 is so real too. waaa

Stuilly doodle dump (1/2)

(decided to split up this art dump after all, if you saw the first post i made... no you didn't)

[ddejavvu]

i saw someone on ig making a "flower" pizza like they put the mozzarella and olives in shapes of flowers and i think it's so cuuuute 😩 imagine doing that to bf!james or bf!remus. i bet they would be internally screaming

"Dinner is served!" You declare, thankfully remembering to turn off the oven after you've removed the pizza stone, "Who's hungry?"

"I'm starving, darling." Sirius groans, head flopped down onto the smooth, chilly countertop, "Simply famished. I'll perish if I don't get a meal."

"Yes dear," You roll your eyes at his antics, but it's a fond gesture, "Okay, Siri gets the tulip... Jamie's got the daisy, and Remus: the rose."

The two aforementioned stragglers sit beside Sirius at the kitchen island, arching their brows at your quiet mumbling. James is fairly certain you're making pizza, not a bouquet.

"Here," You spin around, a plate in your hand, "Jamie, this one's for you."

He cranes his neck to peer at the plate, and his two friends do the same. On his piece of pizza is a melted mozzarella daisy, pineapple poised in the middle. There's an olive-and-pineapple bumblebee beside it, and the petals are still bubbling from the oven.

"Love!" He exclaims, full of fresh enthusiasm, "It's a flower!'

"A tulip," Sirius chuckles, admiring the ham-petals you'd made for his own flower, "What did you make the stem out of, babe?"

"Chives," You set Remus's plate on the counter, "Remmy, your rose is pepperoni."

"I feel romanced," Remus chuckles, cheeks admittedly reddening, "Did you make this all by yourself?"

"I saw a video online," You admit, sitting down with your own piece of pizza. There's wildflowers dotted along its cheese surface, made from the scraps of everyone else's bouquet, "But I made it from scratch."

"Our chef!" James marvels, "This is brilliant, love."

"I hope it's good," You fret, glancing at Sirius who's torn into his ham-tulip already. He nods vigorously in agreement.

"Perfect," Remus praises you, a sweet grin on his lips as he pulls you in for a kiss that tastes just a little like a pepperoni rose, "I've never tasted a flower before, darling, but I'm sure yours are better."

"They are," James nods, a mouthful of mozzarella, "Much less bitter, and I haven't sneezed yet."

[holllandtrash]

london boy | lando norris (6 to 1) - smau

part of the lover x 6 to 1 series | lando norris x leclerc! reader

So I guess all the rumors are true You know I love a London boy 

takes place 3 months after part 12 of 6 to 1 vote for the next part here

ynleclerc added to their story

landonorris added to their story

ynleclerc 📍 London, England

liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc and 54,103 others

ynleclerc london night 1 + lando picking me up from the airport (merci to the person who captured him giving me a literal garden)

view all 508 comments

landonorris only the best for the best

ynleclerc i will expect flowers everytime now landonorris okay

givememclarens not a fan of the soft launch pics bestie everyone knows you're dating the least u could do is give us bf lando

liked by ynleclerc

charles_leclerc please return home in one piece

ynlelcerc no promises

lewishamilton my second home 🖤 let me know if you need recommendations

landonorris

liked by ynleclerc, arthur_leclerc and 314,484 others

tagged: ynleclerc

landonorris london rookie had to see all the sights today

ynleclerc you loved that double decker bus ride as much as i did landonorris i lost my bucket hat ynleclerc i told you not to wear it

charles_leclerc why aren't you sitting like a normal person

ynleclerc because i know how to have FUN charles

ynleclerc 📍London, England

liked by danielricciardo, riabish and 67,810 others

ynleclerc im sorry..the old y/n can't come to the phone right now

view all 315 comments

danielricciardo you know you're not just supposed to look at the phone booth right, you can actually go inside

ynleclerc leave me alone

charles_leclerc why are you wearing shorts in october

landonorris i asked the same thing ynleclerc its called fashion look it up

riabish cuuuute

ynleclerc can't wait to see you tomorrow ♡

ynleclerc added to their story

riabish added to their story

ynleclerc

liked by landonorris, maxfewtrell and 31,406 others

tagged: riabish

ynleclerc ria is a better tour guide than landon i said what i said

view all 830 comments

riabish love you♡

charles_leclerc landon

danielricciardo not the landon slander

mclaren landon?🤨

oscarpiastri i love my teammate, Landon Orris

landonorris my goodness

landonorris added to their story

ynleclerc added to their story

landonorris

liked by riabish, charles_leclerc and 478,309 others

tagged: ynleclerc

landonorris she cleans up nice for someone who didn't get out of bed until 4pm

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ynleclerc i got ready faster than a red bull wins a race

liked by landonorris, danielricciardo and 5,607 others

mclaren but where's landon?

ynleclerc we are done with this joke oscarpiastri no we are not

thepaddockbulls never in my wildest dreams did i think i would ever see a leclerc make a joke about red bull winning

ynleclerc

liked by landonorris, maxfewtrell and 43,360 others

tagged: landonorris

ynleclerc day 6/6 🇬🇧 could this photo dump get any more british

landonorris there's no tea in any of those pictures

ynleclerc remind me to get some tmr before we leave

oscarpiastri where's landon?

ynleclerc OSCAR

nofornorris sad that her little london trip is ending i was living vicariously through her

sunnyseb petition for them to just move to london full time

landonorris added to their story

ynleclerc 📍home

liked by landonorris, mclaren and 89,205 others

tagged: landonorris

ynleclerc you know i love a london boy

view all 1,104 comments

landonorris im from bristol

ynleclerc not today you aren't

danielricciardo you kids grew up too fast

mclaren Well if there's ever an F1 race in London, we know who'll be the first to support it 😉😉

OscarPiastri thought you loved Landon Orris

landonorris mate shes gonna block you, i just watched her throw her phone across the airport

----- vote for the next part here

[menlove]

any introductory beatles (just mclennon tbh) fics? 🤲

LORD OKAYYYYY i'll try not to go too crazy and just stick to my alltime faves.....

first of all anything @forthlin (milaway on ao3) has written literally ever. i am going to eat them one day. they are the yin to my yang and also the best writer this fandom has ever seeeeen. um. anyway! like i said, all their fics. but i'd Particularly rec your lucky break which is an au where john is a 30 something rockstar and paul is an up and coming musician in the 70s. and well! what can i say about this fic except it's sooo in character, hot, and also the reason i started talking to the best person on this earth so whatever

also completelyyyyy selfish but hey i only wrote half so i'm counting it but we also have an ongoing series: i want you, i need you, i love you where they're writing john's povs and i'm writing paul's! it's just basically our take on their timeline & relationship, but the third installment's going to be a fix-it

now onto me not being gay or selfish here's some of my favorites that i think are Must Reads.

Boy, You've Been A Naughty Girl

explicit. 49k. John makes Paul a bet. Paul takes him up on it. Crossdressing shenanigans and angst ensue, and ~feelings come out in the wash. 1961. rec notes: okay look. this one is just a classic. it's great. esp love it bc it's right up my alley with its "paul isn't an oblivious moron" takes. also.... hot.

I Still Miss Someone/I Know That I Miss You but I Don't Know Where I Stand

explicit. 64k. It's 1976 and Paul keeps showing up on John's doorstep with a guitar. Eventually John turns him away and Paul goes off to sulk in his hotel room the night before his flight from New York. Based on real events. rec notes: aaaaugh this one haunts me there's one scene i think of literally every time "i still miss someone" by johnny cash comes on, which is one of my fave songs. it's not a fix-it, but it's so so so good for the Vibes of their 70s relationship :(

Like Love, The Archers Are Blind

explicit. 22k. He wants to push Stuart out of the way, not even with a violent yank of his collar like he sometimes imagines. Just to melt into his place like butter sliding in a pan. Have it be an effortless breath of fresh air when John looks up at him and sees it all reflected back in his eyes. It’s you. rec notes: this one is just... soft. and so good for a snapshot of the hamburg vibe.

i was a younger man then (now) (post hoc)

mature. 27k. John’s twelve when a bloke appears from a flaming pie and says, “From this day forward you are Beatles with an ‘a.’” The bloke is Paul. Or: paul and john meet at all ages and eras and john is the time-traveler’s wife the way only john lennon can be rec notes: literally my favorite mclennon fic everrrrrr ever ever. other than your lucky break. this is everything. this is it. like it nails their dynamic even though it's a magical au. it explores their relationship sooooo fucking well. i think about it like weekly.

John My Beloved

explicit. 33k. They've always loved each other, in their own way… rec notes: OTHER FAVORITE EVER it broke my heart it changed my fucking lifeeeee it changed my world. major character death warning but fuck man. i think about this literally constantly. this fic haunts me. i think it changed me. i had to stare at a wall for like 30 minutes after finishing it. i got choked up.

two of us (burning matches)

explicit. 6k. It won't stop raining. Paul doesn't know what his feelings are doing. John's practising his right swing. Somewhere along the way, they fuse together. rec notes: this one is just cuuuute and perfect for the Early Days Vibes.

Grow Old With Me

explicit. 8k. fix-it. Paul breaks his arm, and John panics. rec notes: SOOOO FUCKING SWEET. this is what they deserved and i like to live here in my mind when the reality of what actually happened gets to be too much.

1967

mature. 11k. canon-divergent au. In 1961, John Lennon and Paul McCartney left abruptly on a trip to Spain, via France. In 1967, they finally come home to face the consequences. rec notes: the style of this one is INSANE. it's so unique and i love it sososososo much. also the plot? is super unique???? basically it's an au where they never came home from paris and it's.... so fucking good. i love the way it looks at their dynamic like fuck. it's just perfect.

Way Up Top

explicit. 12k. Falling out of the sky, together. | Snapshots of the Beatles in Greece, July 1967 rec notes: LOVE this one for its portrayal of all non-mclennon parties. it fleshes everyone out, especially jane and cyn, in ways a lot of fics just skip. just sooo well written and melancholic in a great way i think.

When You Are Young They Assume You Know Nothing

mature. 26k. But Paul knows John. There’s something about Paris, though... rec notes: THE paris fic to me. this is soooo good and so fucking soft and it just. augh. it killed me.

a brief interruption, a slight malfunction

explicit. 12k. During the rooftop concert, John remembers why he used to find Paul so irresistible after a show. One more time won't hurt, right? rec notes: perfect breakup era fic. my rec notes on ao3 were "this was devastating :)" so. god. this fucked me up.

aaand honorary mentions to the two non-mclennon fics i've read but !

Knocking at Your Door

george/paul. explicit. 6k. It's easy enough, this time, to lean in and touch their lips together. A firm press of his mouth to Paul's; first at the corner, then right on the centre of his yielding, expressive lower lip. Paul and George: a few meetings over thirty-six years. rec notes: the opening sentence to this made me sick to my stomach and then the rest of the fic destroyed me permanently

Where The Sailors Go

ringo/paul. explicit. 5k. A drunken German mistakes Paul, alone in Hamburg's red light district, for a rentboy. Ringo, the Hurricanes' terrifyingly adult drummer, intervenes. Things happen, but Paul can't stop thinking about John. rec notes: PRINGOOOOO. with background mclennon. this was so real to me. also in the same universe as this fic is (It's Just) Another Day which is a transfem paul mclennon fic that rooocked my world. it's still a wip but holy fuck. made me rearrange the way i see paul tbh.

[missamyrisa2]

convincing a shy tgirl to start wearing more femme clothes , telling her its to help with her confidence , but secretly its just because dresses and skirts and crop tops all leave their tickle spots so perfectly exposed ~

Ooohh I looooveee sooo much showing someone the loveliness of pretty clothes and the ticklyyy sparklies that come with wearing them. I'll mostttt definitely be picking out something like a little floral top with delicate straps and a flirty crop ~ and maybeee a pleated black miniskirt. The top is going to go on sooooo slowlyyyyy

why yess, I am going to help you get dressed ~ it's such a lovelyyy fuzzzy sensation to have someone dressss you like thissss~

Just relax and let the lovely clothes happennn~ the gentlyyy girlyyy material of this floral top coming downnnn your armsssss. Yesss keep them up. Ooh sorryyy I simply had to give your underarm a little kissy kiss. Now, this miiight tickle a little. Yes, that soft material grazing down your collar and over your chestttttt ~ ahh yessss, you feel the florals on your royal buttons huh? Maybe we need to get you a bralette for next time. But for today let's just seee how you do with this cute top~ mmhmmm mhmmm seeee it stops riiight above your belly. Do you feel that line of fabric? Riiight there? Above your belly? Let me just take my finger and trace around the ring so you know what I mean. D'yknow what I meannn?

Ahh yes, these cute tiny delicate straps. Up your chesttt and over your shoulder and to your back. Keeping this cuuuute top on your lovely bodyyy ~ lovelyyyy body. Mmmh just adjust this one hereee and that one thereee and slide my fingers under each oneee ~ let's just how snug they are on your wiggly self. Awwww do you like itttt? It's sooo cute on youuuu! And I bet your butttons love it toooo ooh I just gotta finger flip them through the floral top yes I dooooo ~ does it tiiickle?

Mmmh but now we have to take care of those bottoms yes we doooo ~ oooh and I'm not gonna let you go without undies noooo ~ I have cuuuute matching floral pantie for youuuu ~ It's fun to coordinate your top with your no-nos mmhmm. Most people won't see it of course but you get to enjoy that little outfit synergy. Sooo yes, lift that legggg gooood girlyyyy and we go up and now the other legggg yeahhh how does it feeel? I hope you feel as cute as you look because you are blushing soooo cutelyyyy~ and sloooowlllyy the panties go uppppppp mmhmm a little on this leggg and a little on that leggg and oooh does it tiiickle? I knowww I know it doesss that lovely elegant material on your thigh thighssssss ~ and up and uppp and riiight over your royal area ~

Let's just make sure these panties are nice and snug on your most elegant place. Mhmmm nice soft pantiesss niiiice soft pantiessss allll over your sparklyyyy royal area. Royal tickles. Yessss must make sure the pantyyy straps are in place. Riiight on yoour hipssss. Hmmmm~ quite a wiggle you have, quite a lovelyyyy squiggle you have dear one. You're soooo cutee! Sooo pretty in your little crop top and adorable pantiesss. And now we'll make you extra gorgeous mmmmmhmm~

This lovely skirt, ah yesss the lovelyyyy flirty skirt. Sooo dark and cuteee and with allll these little pleats! It's gonna be soo sexy adorable on you, swishing about and complimenting that amazing tushhhh~ ahh yes, your pantied tush. Sooo sweeet, so darling. Ahh, I must give it little pinchiesssss ~ aww do the pinchies tickle toooo? You just get sooo tickly ticklyyyy in your cute outfit huhh?

Okayyy same procedure as last time sweeeet honeydrop. In one leg, in the other. And the skirt goessss uppppp~ Mmhm a little elevator to your lovely sparkliesssss ~ My my my your belly is so twitchyyyy sweetieee ~ is it the lovely girly material? Is your outfit doing thatttt? Here's a kissyyyy yessss you get alll the kissiesss a cutie like youu needs to be pinned and kissssed and given alll the attention. Ahh but where was I, yesss this skirt. Up and up and yeahhh we have to cover the cute pantiessss. But they'll be our little secret okayyy? Those lacey florals all sultry and sexy down thereeee all ticklyyy teasyyy on your royal parts.

And look ooh loook look loooook~ this cuuute skirt and that floral topppp. What a little number ~ what a cuuuute little outfit you have now. Your wigglyyy thighsss feel those pleats huhhh? Your sweeet delicate waist feeels that hugggg of the skirt mmmh? I'll bet you squeak and giggle with every step nowwww ~ sosoo perfeectly cute like thissss. Ooh and we're not done noooooo ~ we get to accessorize nowww yessss. You need that little extra extra mmhmmm~

I have a lovelyyyy heart necklace for youuuu yesss look at this dainty metal heart that we can drape over and let rest riiighhtttt on your upper chest. Yessss that coool touch resting there and reminding you and everyone that you're a sweeetheartttt ~ And over heeeree I have a chunky black bracelet for you. We'll just snap this on and my myyyy such a blushing squeak. You can just remember this cuuute shiny cuff as you take every step in your cute outfit and remember you're my adorable sweetie pie with the bestttt little giggles and squeakssss ~ and ooh yes I have a headband with these threeee little shinyyyy purplepink flowers on top. Gotta accessorize your hair toooo cutieee ~ sooo we'll slide this on and ahhh soo perfect. Such an elegant lil sparklyyy for your hair to bring it alll together.

And lastly, the wedge sandals. Yesss some people say it's like cringe fashion but I think they're alllways cuuuute. You just step your lovely toes into this one and yess that one, these sweeetheart shoes for my sweetheart. Yeahhh they're a little awkward to step in but I swear they make that outfit just pop! Alsooooo they make you wobbly which means I get to tackle you with ticklessss!! Yess darling, you've been dressed so cutely but you've also been dressed for tiiiiickless! Now I get to tickle up your legs while you wobbleeee and trail my nailssss behind your kneees and up your thighsss ~ ooh look at that skirt dance. Does it tickle tease sooo badlyyy yeahhh? How about that bellyyyy? Don't lieeee I got to chart allll your spotssss while I dressed youuuu ~ I know it tickles hereeee right on your tummyyyy and I know what the kissies do to youuu ~ yesss I watched allll your reactions and spotsss my angel ~ cooochie coooooo!! Kissiesss on your siiidess and tickles riiight along the hem of your skirtttt and around the crop of your cuuute floral topppp and oooh yesssss there we gooo tumble down tumble for me darling. Nowwww it's alllll flipppy fingers on those butttonssss ~ yess the lovely floral top hugs your buttons and makes the tickles ooooh so worse huhhhh? And I can trace these straps again and see you squirmmmm `~ good thing you have no sleeves and now I get to kissyy tickle and spider in your underarms allll I like and you can wiggle yourself silly in that amazing outfitttt ~ the heart is just dancing away huhh? And what about those pantiess mmmhmm yesss those lovely lovely soft pantiesss ~ I bet it ticklesss so much wiggling and squirming while they hold your royal area so snug ~ that's whyyyy my amazing friend ms. wand is gonna go down and make your acquaintanceship ~ mmhmm goood thing you're wearing that flirty little skirt huhhh? I can slip my wandyyyyy wanda down hereeee and buzzzzzz buzz vibeey vibey your pantiessss mmhmmm nice soooft trembling ticklyyy pantiesss while I tickle tickle tickle that bouncy exposed bellyyyy and your hiiipppy hipssss! Tickle tickle my adorable dollll ~ do you just looove when I doll you up and tickle you to bitss huhhh? You gonna ticklegasm formeee? Gonna make those sparkliesssss? Those fireworkssss? You bet your cuuute tushhhyy you areeeee! I'm taking alll your giggles all your moans alll your cuuuutesssss ~ and then we'll have a little snuggle outfit makeover how about thatttt ~<33

[prettymeredith]

Fantasy of the Day: Ticklish First Date

"OooOoo~ Don't you two lovlies make a cute couple! Who's idea was it to come here, yours? Well honey, looks like you're gettin' it first."

To say that I was a bit nervous would be an understatement. However, stripping us both down to just our underwear, and binding us together so closely and intimately has me feeling all kinds of other things aside from just the basic jitters.

Kneeling pressed against his chest, I just wanted to look into his eyes and kiss him. But before we could find a chance to nuzzle in, sharp manicured fingertips began skittering along my ribs, prompting me to lean forward and cackle.

"Aww does this tickle? Sure seems like it does. What do you think?"

Before I even realize it her hands jump to him, his body pulling against mine, his cute laughter singing into my ear. Bound together as seemingly one entity of ticklishness, she tickles both of us as fingertips effortlessly jump from one person to the other.

I love the way his body shakes when he giggles, and how he tugs against mine as I involuntary pull back on his in this ticklish dance we're having. With her leaning in behind me, its like I'm sandwiched inbetween it all, and I can't help but be turned on by it.

"Hahaha!! Okay, ho'kay!! Haha, go over to his side! Hahahaha...!" I belted, no longer being able to be the monkey in the middle. She circled over to the opposite end to give him the same treatment, but as he thrashed around I still count help but laugh as I jerked along right with him.

"How long have you two been together?" She asked, as if now was a good time as any for small talk. Her nails never quit, tickling his feet making him too giggly to answer.

"This is our first date." I said, trying to relax a smile. "Your FIRST!?" She gasps, and darts right over to my side to tickle my feet next.

"Awww isn't this so cute!! You can tell everybody all about what your first date was when you fall in love~!" She coos, only making her intense sole scratching even more insufferable as I bellow laughter and start to beg.

"NO!! Hahahaha!! No more! Get him, get h'hehehe'him!! Hoah-oh my God!! Hahaha!!"

I could tell enjoying my reactions as he leaned over my shoulder to watch her tickle me. Not only could I see the buldge pitching through his boxers, I could feel it poking me as I we lurched forward in hysterics.

"Come on big boy, aren't you going to ask her to be your Girlfriend? What's the matter, don't you like her? I can tell you do~. You boys are always so skittish when it comes to commitment."

She tickled, and tickled, and tickled him until finally he came out and asked. And I need no ticklish encouragement to immediately answer him yes.

"Ohh, so cuuuute! No I want to see you too back here on every anniversary, okay? Understand? The honeymoon too... Come on, first one to say yes gets untied to help tickle the other one..."

[thechekhov]

Dungeon Meshi - Quick Reacts (CHA 13: Boiled in Seawater)

What are we eating this time? 

Oh, I see. Chilchuck’s on the menu!

Don’t shun the poor boy, his ideas were good. 

Chilchuk: sees random box

Chilchuck: MIMIC SPOTTED.

oh there’s a sTORY HERE

I mean, he’s not WRONg but I definitely want them to eat a mimic.

oh no

NOOO POOR GUY

WHAT private life, Chilchuk? you’re literally in the dungeon for months on end. What do you do that ISN’T this?! 

I would DIE for sweepy Mawcille 

I don’t know why but the idea of this little coin just goin about its business is super fucking funny to me. I will 100% incorporate these guys into my dungeons now. 

run, little coin!

Chilchuck, were you trying to protect the coin from--

oof. don’t be so hard on yourself, bud. 

Marcille is still a sleepy little caterpillar and I love that for her. 

How did y’all not hear the gate slam down?

I’m also surprised they didn’t raid everything in this room. Like, there’s clearly bags and barrels and that cabinet. Did you look in them at all? How did Chilchuk stop them from opening the mimic box? Wouldn’t they be all over it?

I know foreshadowing when I see it. 

someone oiled those hinges REAL well

IT’S USING THE BOX AS A HOUSE CUUUUTE

lmfaoooooo Laios’ stupid trivia is gonna save your life

OOF that was close. Your scarf!

hold on, is the coin bug like... a baby mimic????

How loud is he yelling and why don’t they hear him?!

oooh, it’s crab stew for dinner!

Sleepy Marcille came through! She’s a good girl!!!!! 

awww only barely, honey. Only barely. 

Laios just petting it... 😂

This anger goes DEEP. Conquer your hatred by eating it, Chilchuck.

Stop re-traumatizing him, Senshi 🤣

What is dungeoneering if not bullying your companions relentlessly, day after day?

You really wanted to save that little coinbug....... Precious. 

I’m..................................................OKAY???????? I GUESS???????

........okay I kinda thought he was 19, but also, if he’s a Halfling Half-foot isn’t that still very much BABY? 

In comparison to Dwarves and Elves, I guess, yeah.

I KNEW IT. LAIOS WAS THE BABY OF THE GROUP ALL ALONG. AHAHA

[daydreamgoddess14]

Gala pt. 2

MASTERLIST

‘Reader insert’ – They haven’t heard Ted swear before or raise his voice, when they get dressed up for a gala the first word out of Ted’s mouth is “Fuck.” - for @dadbodfanatic-x . AFAB!Reader.

Chapter 1

Did this chapter get away from me? Yes it absolutely fucking did, sorry about that!

Chaper 2

You feel more awkward than you could possibly imagine. Worse than sixth form prom where the zip burst on your dress and you had to be tied into it with your best friends shoelaces. Worse than the morning after a one night stand at Uni where you found yourself in a seminar with the person whose bed you'd slept in. Worse than spending the next three years in lectures, seminars and on nights out with that same person. Your stomach churns, the granola bar snack you'd had while you got ready threatening to make a reappearance. To your stressed mind, the only logical conclusion is that you look terrible. You must do - what on earth else would make Ted of all people swear. As soon as you're clear of the red carpet, you dart inside to the loos to check the damage. Lipstick on your teeth? A broken heel? Fuck no, a nip slip?

The dress was far, far lower than you'd normally go for. Its lowest point was lower than the curve of your breasts, so a nip slip was the most likely possibility. On a good day, you were pretty happy with your breasts but you'd really rather they weren't on the front page of the Daily Mail, and you weren't exactly sure whether this was a good day after all. Panic settled into your body like it had found a new home, making itself comfortable in your rapid heartbeat and shaking hands. You're still staring blankly into the mirror when Keeley breezes in on the highest heels you've ever seen. 

"Babe, amazing red carpet! You looked fucking fiiiiit!" She sang.

"No." You said, a little louder than you expected. 

"Umm yes, actually. And don't even get me started on Te-"

"Something's wrong isn't it, what is it? My hair? Have I got lipstick on my face?" Keeley stopped flitting around and took your hands in hers. 

"Hun, nothing's wrong - why would you think that? You look beautiful, I would kill for my tits to look like that. And where I have this boring flat pack arse, you have a bum that Kim K would probably love to clone or do coke off! What could possibly be wrong?" You frowned, panic slowly being kicked out by confusion.

"I heard Ted swear, I thought I'd done something wrong?"

"Ha! Far from it - I think you scared his words away! He only had a single fuck left to give and he gave it to you, how sweet!" She burst into giggles. You look back to your reflection. No stray lipstick, no nipples making a break for freedom, no wild hair. You looked fine, good even. Maybe edging close towards great. Not the best judge of your own appearance (ever the self saboteur), you had to trust Keeley. Shoulders down, head up, you allowed your good posture to boost your confidence. The posture correction resulted in a boob lift and waist amplification that you wished was shouted from the rooftops for everyone to discover - 'Your body is beautiful! But for fucks sake it's better if you stand up straight!' Keeley came to stand behind you, a couple of inches shorter, even in heels. She locked eyes with you in the mirror. "Fucking gorgeous. I'd do you." A peal of laughter rippled through your body and you joined her in giggling at your reflections. "See - and that smile the icing on the cake. You look hot babe, own it. If Ted isn't ready to admit it then there is an entire football team out there who I'm sure would give you a good time!" 

"Oh jesus Keeley, no! I'm too old for them - they're babies! It's been too long since I had sex for me to settle for a disappointing fuck with a footballer who only got their driving licence last year."

"So if its a toss up between sex with a footballer or no sex at all… it's a no? Be fucking for real right now! Some of them are not so young. Isaac's cuuuute." She teased. 

"Isaac is gorgeous, and trust me, I'd be ready in a heartbeat, but I think my crush on Ted might be ruining all other men for me."

"Well then tonight is recon - I'm pretty convinced he likes you, but I'm open to being wrong for one night only. We do the work, find out what the crack is and if it's a no, then you move on and spend your time on someone who does like you."

"Bish bash bosh, easy as that, eh?"

"Sure is. Now, can we please get out of this bathroom and get a fucking drink before Roy decides I've fallen down the loo?!"

You'd only been at the bar for a moment when Richard was at your side offering to buy you a drink. You took him up on the offer and clinked glasses with him before turning to survey the room. You leaned back against the bar, letting your elbows hold you up. Rebecca was holding court across the room greeting shareholders. Keeley had found Roy and they'd joined some of the other players at a table. You tried to look as though you weren't looking out for Ted, but you couldn't help but feel slightly disappointed when your first sweeping glance of the room was fruitless.

"Looking for someone?" A deep voice said to your right. Richard raised his glass in greeting to Ted and went to join his friends.

"No, just seeing what's going on. I was curious to see how everyone scrubbed up." You raised an eyebrow at him. 

"And do they pass muster?" He leaned against the bar next to you. "Like what you see?"

"Hmm. They look great, as usual," You took a long drink.

"But?"

"But there's someone else far more distracting than a bunch of pretty boys."

"Ahh," he laughed a little, "of course, you've seen the same person I have."

"Have I?"

"Well, I hope so. I mean, I hope there wasn't anyone else pouring you into that dress this evening. I'm assuming you have looked in a mirror?" The blush started somewhere at the junction of your thighs, you were sure of it. The heat of it travelling up your body, across the valley between your breasts and up your neck until it flushed in your cheeks. 

"I… umm…" You breathed out a little laugh, "I'm not sure what to say to that." You admitted. He looked victorious,

"At last. It's about time I caught you out. You do it to me often enough." 

"I don't know what you're talking about, Coach Lasso."

"Ohh I think you do. But hey, if you want an out then here it is T Swizz" He nudged you gently with his shoulder so you turned to face him, peering at him over the rim of your glass. You scan his face, taking him in and let your eyes wander to check out his suit.

"I don't think that'll be necessary, I'm sure I'll get you back." Shenanigans on the dancefloor distract you just long enough for him to look you up and down without you noticing. You'd been slightly too far away on the red carpet and surrounded by photographers. Satisfied that Moe wasn't about to try and replace the DJ, you turn back just in time to see that he'd been looking. "Busted." You whisper with a smirk.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He threw your words back at you, blushing a little. "You look incredible, you're wearing the heck outta that dress."

"Thank you, Ted. Though it's hard not to get imposter syndrome." He waved your comment away, 

"You work with these guys every day. You're definitely not an imposter."

"Hmm. Work with, not socialise with."

"You socialise with me, do you feel like an imposter standing here?" He asked, you noted a little concern in his eyes.

"Nope, I think I'm feeling pretty good standing here." He smiled at that. You could see Colin waving over to you and decided it was high time you went to see the team. "Save me a dance, Coach?" You asked coyly.

"Just the one?" 

"I'll take more than one. If we run out of time, you'll just have to take me dancing somewhere else."

The boys were in high spirits, letting their hair down with a few beers in good company always put them in a great mood. They greeted you happily, pulled out a seat for you and complimented your dress, hair, anything else they could without overstepping.

"And your-" Jan gestured with his hands around his own chest, "look absolutely am-" he was cut off by an elbow to the ribs by Isaac.

"Oi, show some respect." 

"Thanks Isaac." Behind him, Jan did the chef's kiss gesture instead, making you giggle. The evening progressed smoothly, you sat with the team for a while before moving to the same table as Keeley and Roy. Ted was at the same table but sat directly across from you. With a couple of drinks giving him more confidence, you noticed his gaze linger on you for longer and longer each time he looked over. You tried to aim for composed and indifferent, focusing on laughing and talking with Keeley. With the auction over, Rebecca was also able to relax and the three of you enjoyed a couple of cocktails together. You danced to the livelier music with the team and Keeley, the DJ churning out classic dance songs. Eventually you dropped into the seat next to Ted, hot and breathing hard. 

"Hope you're not too tired?" He teased. 

"Don't worry Ted, I've got plenty of stamina." He laughed,

"Drink or dance?" He queried. 

"Dance."

"Quick decisions, I like it." He stood and held out his hand for her, leading her to the dancefloor. You stepped into his arms, looping your arms around his neck. You felt his large hands on your waist, could feel the heat from them through your dress. You moved together, hips slotted against each other. Your fingers toyed with the hair at the nape of his neck and you heard his breath hitch. "You know there's a bunch of footballers over there probably far better at dancing than me?"

"Maybe so, but I've been wanting to dance with you for a while."

"That so?"

"Evidently I was far better at disguising it than I thought I was."

"I wouldn't say that." 

"So… am I good at hiding my ogling or… not?"

"Just because I'm oblivious doesn't mean my fellow coaches are. Let's just say Beard has been very vocal about it." You hid your face by turning away from him and looking over his shoulder to glare in Beard's direction. 

"Excellent. Thought I was doing so well." He leaned down to whisper right into your ear, the whole of the side of your neck and down into the non existent neckline of your dress completely exposed due to the way your hair had been swept to one side. 

"So it's true?" You turned quickly, his lips brushing against your cheek as you did so, making you shiver.  

"The ogling? 100% true." You held his gaze, determined not to crumble in the face of your embarrassment.  You heard Keeley's voice in your ear, a cheerleading inner monologue. You're hot, you're smart, you're funny. Trust in yourself. The seconds ticked by and you could feel your resolve weakening and your heart pounding, nerves getting the better of you despite the gin and tonics you'd been sinking all evening. Finally, his hand on your waist gripped just a little tighter, slid just a little lower and he smiled. His eyes crinkled at the corners, darkening as you took a half step closer to him. 

"Good, thought I was alone on the ogling. Weird word." 

"You haven't been! I've never noticed!" He laughed at that, suddenly a bit surer in himself. 

"Ohh I have been. Love those yoga sessions you do right in front of my window. Love the yoga pants in particular actually, though this dress has a pretty similar effect." You were astonished. This whole time you'd been absolutely convinced that he saw you and saw sweatpants and a ponytail. 

"You should have joined in."

"Now that would have potentially been very embarrassing, so no." His hand once again drifted across the top of your arse making his intentions very clear. You'd no idea how long you'd been dancing at this point, songs had blurred into each other.

"Shame, I do love a willing student."

"I'm very willing, no need to worry about that. Only question is, how we gonna get out of here without being the talk of the room?"

"Sure that's what you want?"

"Are you?"

"Do I want you to get me out of this dress as soon as possible? Yes, please."

You don't know how it happened exactly, but it certainly involved Keeley (obviously). You were looking for a suitable opportunity to duck out when she'd collared you by the bar. 

"OK babe, I've done my recon and I can say I'm like 95% confident that he's into you."

"I know hun, we talked when we were dancing. Apparently I'm oblivious." Keeley would have been put out at being beaten to the scoop had she not been so excited instead. "Anyway, now I'm trying to get the hell out of here without it looking like that's what I'm doing, I'm avoiding the lads so they don't ask me to the after party."

"Is that why Ted looks like he's getting closer and closer to the door?"

"Probably, first one out calls a cab."

"OK… ok, you go now. Right now, babe. I'll say to Roy that I'd been with you in the loos and you didn't feel well." You beamed at her, kissed her cheek and darted for the door, shooting a quick glance in Ted's direction. Hidden at the side of the building, you brought up the Uber app and called for your ride. You turned around to check the doors and walked right into Ted, your heels nearly disappeared from under you and your soul left your body. 

"Holy shit, Ted! You scared the crap out of me!" He caught your elbow and held you steady. 

"Sorry, sweetheart, ready to go?" Behind you the cab had just arrived. You didn't say much in the car on the way to his flat. He'd asked where you'd rather go, not wanting you to feel worried about having someone in your space but equally not wanting you to feel like you couldn't leave if you wanted to. You hesitated behind him at the door as he fiddled with the lock, once open, he let you in first and you took the stairs up to his floor. Inside the door you toe off your heels. "Whiskey ok?" He asks.

"Please." You've been to the flat before, he hosted games night a couple of times, but you've never been here alone. You move to look at some of the photos he's got dotted around - mostly Henry, of course, but also one of the four coaches, one of all the players from a team night out, one of you, Rebecca and Keeley from Higgins late summer BBQ. "Cute photos." He hands you a tumbler of whiskey with ice. Shyness starts to take over now that the gin is wearing off so you're glad for the booze top up. 

"How long?"

"How long what?" You wonder.

"How long has the ogling been going on?"

"Ahh. Well, I've not quite been there a year. So…just under a year."

"No? Day one?"

"Day one." You nod. No point in hiding anything anymore.

"Same." You cough a little on the drink you'd just taken.

"No way."

"Honestly. Higgy was givin' you the tour and you just looked at Beard and told him his posture was terrible. And then you tore Roy a new one about how badly he'd been lookin' after his knee. I thought any woman who walks in on their first day and straight out the gate gives Roy shit ought to be worshiped." You arch an eyebrow at that, finishing off your drink. The ice cubes clinked as you set the glass on the mantle. "And all you've done for 11 months is prove everyday that you should be worshiped." He adds, his voice barely above a whisper. You scoff at his comment, 

"Hardly. I'm already into you, Ted," you tease. "You don't need to go that far." He frowned.

"Sounds like I do if you don't believe me?" You roll your eyes but before you can speak again he steps toward you and slips one hand behind you on your back and cups your cheek with the other. All coherent thought leaves your body. "If you don't believe me, I'm happy to show you." His eyes search yours and you meet him halfway in a long awaited kiss. The hand on your back lowers and he runs his large palm down your arse and squeezes, pulling you into him. You groan at the action, deepening the kiss. Your hands take on a life of their own, running up his arms and into his hair, pulling him as close as you can. He finds your zip and pulls it gently down, the heavy rose gold dress slips down your arms and drops to the floor with a soft thud. You're immediately exposed, you weren't able to wear a bra with the dress, and your soft lace knickers don't exactly provide much coverage. He moves away from you, originally to help you step out of the dress puddle, but is distracted by just how quickly you've ended up so nearly naked. You feel your arms moving to cover yourself, but he takes your hands. You step out of the dress, he doesn't give you your hands back, he pulls you back in to him. "You never need to cover up for me, honey. Fuck, you are so beautiful."

"And you're overdressed." You move to undo the buttons on his shirt, loosening the tie first and lifting it over his head. Each button opens him up more and more to you. At the last one, you pull the shirt out from his suit trousers. He takes the shirt off, you're far too distracted by ruining your hands over his broad chest, fingertips tickling across his soft stomach. You catch his eye, his expression hard to read - somewhere between shy and nervous. "You're beautiful." You reassure him in kind, planting kisses along his collarbone. Your hands span across his back, feeling the tension in his shoulders. "Hmm. I'd love to work those knots out for you, but I think there's more important things to do first." You mutter against his lips. Spurred into action, he walks backwards towards the bedroom, pulling you with him. You find the bed eventually, landing in a tangle of limbs and Ted's clothes. His body is pressed against yours so perfectly, you wonder how you've done without it for so long. His hands run through your hair, down your neck and the column of your throat. You tip your head back to give him more access and he roughly palms your nipple, making you gasp. "Fuck me, Ted." You moan, 

"Ummhmm, that's the aim baby." You swat his arm making him laugh somewhere near the underside of your breasts, his mustache tickling the soft skin. He travels lower still, a trail of hot, wet kisses against your stomach and hips. He hooks your knickers into his thumbs and looks up at you, a silent request. You smile shyly while he rolls them down your legs. Before you can think, he's settled between your legs and is moving your thighs apart. You could swear you see stars when he pulls your hips down the bed and sets his mouth on you. Your back arches you away from him until he brings an arm across you to pin you down. His mouth is hot and his tongue teases you in ways impossible to describe. He works you up until you can hardly breathe and the only sound you can identify is his name. Your thighs begin to shake, the pleasure almost too much, but he doesn't change anything he's doing. Your orgasm feels like it's been ripped from your body and you feel a sob rise from your throat, as if the relief is too much to bear. You're so out of it for a minute that you don't see just how affected Ted is, he moans into you, grinding into the mattress. When you can finally breathe, he follows his original path back up your body. You've slung an arm over your eyes but he gently removes it and kisses you. You taste the heady mixture of yourself and whiskey. He pauses, wanting to look at you, to check in. 

"You OK?" He whispers. You nod, still not quite ready to string a sentence together. You can feel his cock, hard and straining as it presses against your thigh. You move your leg just enough so that there's a little friction and he immediately bucks his hips towards you. 

"I need you, now." He says, making you whine. You pull him back between your legs and roll your hips towards his. He quickly slides his boxers down and grabs a condom from the side table. He's back and pressing against your core in no time at all. You cup his cheek as he did to you earlier, 

"Show me." He pushes into you, slowly, carefully until he's fully seated within you. You both take a second, but the weight of his body on yours and the feel of him inside you has you craving more movement, more friction. You roll your hips again, and he drops his forehead to your chest with a guttural moan. "Show me." You repeat. This time, he listens. Slowly fucking into you but building to a desperate pace. Your legs lock around his waist. The new angle has you on the edge straight away. With only a couple of thrusts, your own orgasm lines up with his, and you're both incoherent with the intensity. His body slumps against yours, and he leaves a tender kiss just under your ear. You're still trying to figure out how to breathe when you hear a stamping from the floor above. He moves off you, you instantly miss the delicious warmth of him. He discards the condom and reaches for his boxers. The stamping again. 

"Sorry, Ms Shipley!" He manages to shout. He looks down to you on the bed, still boneless. "I'll get you some water, be right back." He smiles. While he's gone, you use the bathroom and pull on a t-shirt you find in there. By the time he's back, you're sitting cross-legged on the bed.

"Thank you." You take the water gratefully. 

"Nice t-shirt." He smirks.

"You don't mind?"

"Definitely not." He reaches for you, and you lay down against him, tucking one knee between his. He runs his hand up and down your back. "I love you." You hear him murmur into your hairline just as sleep begins to take you both. You're just about able to reply, 

"I love you too, Ted." He holds you tighter. 

FIN