#IT'S HYSTERICAL BWAHAHAHA

[hoperays-song]

Sing 1 Commentary and Review Pt. 3

Welcome back to the madness loves!!! Also, I tried to tone down the commentary so I get further in the movie this time. Is this an elaborate plan to distract me from my fic being with my beta reader? Yes! Am I using it for content? Also yes! Enjoy!

Yes, I am trying to restrain myself more this time, it's hard.

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Guys, guys, guys, here me out here... I think Barry minds.

Also, headcanon I'm not sure I ever mentioned on here before but the reason Barry minds Johnny taking his spot isn't jealousy of being passed over but because he didn't want his honorary nephew to have a larger role in the gang than he already did. He was trying to protect him.

HERE. This is the moment where Marcus confirms they were going to stop stealing after this last heist. They were legit only doing it out of necessity because the needed money.

(aka my debt theory is going strong bwahahaha)

Ok but the way Marcus looks at Stan and Barry when Johnny storms off, just his face of "that's weird right? or is it normal teenage angst? what's going on?" is so funny. He's so lost.

Also, I genuinely believe that Johnny might have been planning on telling his family about the singing here (he comes back much later but seems still really hyped up like he was getting the confidence to do so) but didn't when he was given the role of getaway driver. Even if it was just for one job, it clearly made him feel way less seen as a person and like he was a disappointment for not fitting into the mold of who he thinks his father wants him to be (the queer metaphor is still going hard I see, lovely).

👏 Relationship👏  Counseling👏 

Engineer Rosita My Beloved!!!! <3

This woman definitely has at least two masters degrees in mechanical engineering because the machine she made is something out of Willy Wonka.

So... there either were intake forms where they all listed their talents and Johnny put down a skill he hadn't done since he was little or... Buster legit just asked this teenager to learn an skill that takes years upon years of training in like a month. For some weird reason, i'm leaning towards the latter and Johnny having experience is a coincidence.

Horrified Punk Rocker™️

I completely forgot that Meena wrote out what she was gonna say to Buster on her hand. I love that and I will be including it everywhere.

Also, unrelated, but Buster is on his second felony of the movie right now and we barely are passed the 30 minutes mark. Not to mention the numerous misdemeanors.

And, the workshop where they build their props in apparently on the second floor according to Buster. That seems like you're making more work for yourself with all the moving up and down but, you know, you do you.

Mike puntable moments counter: 19

He really does not think things through does he?

Lance puntable moments counter: 17

Dude, she's your girlfriend, for fucks sake, be supportive!!!! It's not rocket science over here!!!

Johnny making fun of his dad and exaggerating his accent will never not be funny to me. He's acting like a regular teenager, not a gang member, and it's both adorable and hysterical.

Judith has arrived!!! We love characters who are actually just trying to do their jobs here. Like imagine being the bank representative assigned to Buster freaking Moon. You'd be pissed off too.

... Gay. That's the only commentary I can add here. That's very gay.

Gunter, the chaos enabler, Rosita, the chaos handler, and Caspar, the chaos.

You just know as soon as Caspar got home he was begging him mom to let him hang out with the fun dance guy again.

Johnny's over here going through the nine stages of grief about his singing career.

Also, do we know why Johnny was called away this time? Because they weren't planning any heists in between the one we have already seen and the failed one to our knowledge. So, was he actually called back because of something to do with the garage? It would technically be a family business thing then after all.

Ash, I am so sorry. About everything you go through in this movie. So sorry. You get adopted by a crazy guy and an old rockstar by the end of the next movie if it's any comfort (probably not but worth a shot).

Also, their apartment is huge!!! How are they affording that when struggling to find and keep gigs???

Lance puntable moments counter: 27

I am once again reminded that the mob canonically exists here and Mike thought cheating them was a good idea?!?

Mike puntable moments counter: 23

The last moments those poor flowers had. RIP.

The dramatic music that appears whenever she does is honestly amazing. And I love how she just seems to despise Buster on principal here.

But the fact that Eddie's grandmother knows Buster? And a fair bit about his life? Eddie has definitely mentioned him and also Buster went to Eddie's graduation!! That's so sweet, you know he was one of those people who make huge posters of their loved ones faces and their degree.

This, my lovely gentlefolk and assorted cryptids, is what a bad idea looks like!

Ok, we have arrived to the failed heist. Now personally, I would have just pretended to be sick so that Buster would have let me go without worrying about the show. That way my role in the show would be safe while I would also be out of debt, win-win. However, that's clearly not what happened here.

I stand with the fact that this could have been easily avoided but I do not solely blame Johnny here. He's a kid. Kids make mistakes all the time. He just made a mistake. Was it a bigger mistake than a lot of people's? Yes, but it was still a mistake. He is not at fault here.

As for the gang, smart move on their part to immediately surrender. That way they lessened their sentence by not resisting arrest. Also, Marcus looks genuinely worried when he realises Johnny is not there, and I completely understand that. He has no idea where his son is and there's police everywhere, he's bound to be panicked.

Rosita is amazing. I love her, she's so sweet.

Ok, genuinely forgot about Gunter and Rosita's fight at the dress rehearsals.

Also, Mike puntable moments counter: 25

Ok, I feel like we missed a part of this conversation. We jump right to Marcus asking where Johnny was and looking pissed. I can almost guarantee that that conversation did not start like that. Marcus and Johnny are shown to be close, despite their communication issues. He's going to be upset, yes, but he's still gonna be worried about his kid. Marcus definitely asked if Johnny was ok or arrested or sick first.

Also, ouch. This scene hurts. The overall message of familiar rejection for you just trying to be yourself, of who you actually are is not good enough? It makes me sob every single time. This is just insanely painful.

(Yes, this is a central part of Johnny's story being queer coded and as someone who had a similar situation happen when I came out, I'm just saying it's very realistic).

Then the stealing bit afterwards being reference for pushing yourself into who others want you to be to feel love? And Johnny choosing even then it's better if he is his actual true self? Amazing, perfection, true cinema.

This is the emptiest grocery store I've ever seen in my entire life. Seriously. Is anyone other than these two there? I'm guessing a cashier but I don't see one.

Also this security dude is an amazing hype man, just cheering and blasting music.

Buster, stop encouraging kids to commit felonies. I know you're on three now but seriously man???

WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND GAVE THIS GREMLIN A BLOWTORCH?!?!?!?! ARE YOU TRYING TO DESTROY SOCIETY???? Also, Meena and Buster were renovating the theatre at the same time as Johnny was practicing with Mrs. Crawly. I completely forgot they were there at the same time?

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This is taking way longer than I thought but hey, it's time consuming!

Be back in a few (these take a bit to edit sorry)! - <3 Gooseless

[il0veyoujk]

Just imagine 14 S2

"Where did you hide them?!" Taehyung giggles at you and your adorable, yet deafening laughter.

"I DAHAHAON'T KNOHOHOW!" you shriek underneath them and thrash around like a fish out of the water. His long, skinny fingers are gliding up and down your armpits, using his nails to add to the already way too ticklish feeling.

Jimin on the other hand is clawing at your tummy under your ugly sweater, showing literally zero mercy "Liar! You know! Tell us where they are!" the young lad demands playfully as he wiggles his fingertips all over your tummy, while he is sitting on your thighs.

Tonight it's Christmas night. You and your brothers should exchange presents after dinner before you start your all-nighter Christmas movie marathon. However, your rascal self decided to play games and hide their gifts. Good choice y/n. Now face the consequences!

Taehyung has your arms pinned above your head and is sitting on them while he torments your poor, exposed armpits "Liar liar pants on fire y/n/n! You have to be honest, or Santa won't come for you either!" he chuckles and moves one of his hands to your exposed neck. He scribbles the crook of your neck with his blunt nails as he drills his thumb into the middle of your armpit fastly and mercilessly.

"I'M NOHOHOT LYING AHAHAHA!" you are lying. Even if you scream and laugh like crazy and bounce on the floor like a maniac, you keep lying.

"You are practically asking for it, cutie!" Jimin chuckles and shakes his head happily. Suddenly, the clawing on your tummy turns to soft pinches and tasering on your sides "Suit yourself then!"

"Coochie coochie coo, little liar!" Taehyung smirks widely, not ceasing his attack.

The blush on your cheeks gets darker from your brothers' bold teasing and intense tickling. You are reaching your limit, ready to give in to their vicious, indirect blackmail, but still, you are still holding tight "I'M NAHAHAHAOT GONNA TAHAHALK AHAHA!"

"No? Alright then, I guess it's time for the kill, right Tae?" Jimin's eyes suddenly turn devilish and so are Taehyung's.

Both of the boys stop whatever they are doing, confusing you. Soon though, the confusion turns into panic when you feel your sweater raising and your head turning to the side "No... No no no nohoho! I'm sorry! I'll talk pleahahase nohoho!" you giggle nervously and flail around. You know what's coming, and you instantly regret hiding the gifts.

"Naw, that's good! But now It's gonna happen! A liar needs punishment! And she's gonna have it!" Taehyung grins. The two lads take a deep breath.

"BWAHAHAHA NAHAHAHAO I'M SAHAHAHAORRY AHAHAHA! PLEAHAHAHASE AHAHAHA! IT'S UNDER MY BEHEHED!" you shriek once unstoppable and intense raspberries start blowing on your exposed tummy and neck, and you immediately give up.

Kicking your legs and wiggling around, you try to pry them off of you and put an end to the ticklish hell you are currently into.

Which works. Both lads fall off you, but intentionally. They rush to your room, leaving you a giggly and panting mess on the living room floor.

But you have to move quickly! You have to be fast if you want to avoid-

"Y/N! THEY ARE NOT HERE!"

"YOU LITTLE RASCAL, YOU ARE DEAD!"

-more tickles.

You immediately try to make a run for it and hide from the new round of ticklish interrogation. But no! You are soon caught again and fall into fits of hysterical laughter, even worse than the previous ones.

"NYAHAHAHAHAOH NOT THE FEHEHEHEET!!!"

Merry Christmas everyone!!! 🎄❤️

[kiwiana-writes]

i'm very interested in the 'goddammit ships to sail' because i know that means it's a good idea

Bwahahaha. You, you know how things go. That said, it's definitely... niche.

You ever have one of those nights where you're suddenly exchanging voice notes via Discord DM that are increasingly hysterical even though it's like 3am and you should definitely be asleep? Because I sent @ships-to-sail "You know what I wanna talk about? The fact that Henry, "oh I must stay in the closet" Henry, "I am hopelessly in love with Alex but alas he is straight and also hates me" Henry, chooses to make the second ever text message he sends Alex a joke about how they've fucked. Which is an incredibly wild choice that I respect the hell out of."

A reasonably normal point to make, nē?

Well, ships responded with "Not only that they fucked but that now there's a pregnancy" and... well. It spiralled in the way discussions between ships and me usually do. (In case any of us need a reminder.)

Thirty-six voice notes over 12 hours (I was asleep for some of those hours, to be fair, but still). The first dozen or so all started with "well I'm not writing this, but if I was..."

Eventually I gave up on pretending I wasn't going to write it.

Despite having been writing fanfic for ~20 years at this point, I'd never written a soulmates fic before RWRB. So I guess what I'm doing now is just cycling through the tried and true fandom tropes that haven't captured my interest before.

Mpreg, anyone?

[AMA about my WIP list!]

[waynes-multiverse]

Oh, Wayne - this was GLORIOUS!!! This is the first time I’ve laughed today, and I needed it so bad! Starting with “Seth Rogen” I get it - looks may fade, but sarcasm? That shit is forever! Intelligence and personality means far more than a pretty face.

And I swear you were reading my mind in this! “Yep, Dean fucking Winchester – God of all Gods, monster hunter extraordinaire, hero of all innocent damsels, and idiotic clown of all clowns, shamelessly stole her heart since… well, pretty much the minute they met and she first laid eyes on him.” Yep, this is so me - have tried to deny love at first sight, but Han Solo and Dean Winchester - I was a goner at first sight! And “Dear fucking God, why did she have to fall in love with that dork? Why can’t it be some nice, normal guy without an abundance of commitment issues?” Again?!?! Get. Out. Of. My. Head - It’s scary in here! (But then again, I have more issues than a magazine stand - but then again, so do the real and fictional men I love, sooo…but I digress)

You made me laugh so hard with the collision and Dean’s reactions: ““Baseball, Sam drinking green smoothies, a scratch on Baby’s new coat of paint…” “We should, uh, probably, uhm, detangle…” “His dick is an escaped zoo animal and clearly on the prowl tonight.” BWAHAHAHA!!!! All three dogs were passed out, so all three got treats thanks to your glorious sense of humor! (Quinn says thanks again, BTW)

“It’s-, uhm, it’s okay,” she says surprisingly,”. Damn right it is! (Or maybe left). “Or that… you could do that…”. Yes, yes he could - all damn day…and night…and…oh, wait, where was I? And “Well, uhm, like I said – not that long… Just a very short period of time… Like, since November 29th… 2012,” I’m sure if we give it a couple more years, I’ll be completely over you.” AWWWW!!! I love bashful, silly Dean. But I love her response even more: “Uhm, well… is that something you would like? I mean, to get-, uh, would you wanna get under me?” Girl, I would have stood up and clapped, because that is a total boss move, but I’d drop my phone! In a million years I’d never be brave enough to do that, or “No, I think we’ve been taking things slow for long enough.” QUEEN! She needs to be worshipped for her quick wit and bountiful blessings she is about to receive!

And then I’m giggling again at “Jesus, Y/N… Going in for the kill, huh? You can’t say stuff like that to a man in a compromising position,” and “grabbing her a little tighter before bolting down the bunker hallway like a little kid on Christmas morning.” Then right back to sweetness with “he hopes the thing does as advertised and fucking remembers her forever.” That was just so perfect!

And that thorough fucking? “Wow” indeed! How could you not be after something like that with someone like him? But him asking if she was lonely, then straight to moving into his room - so damn sweet!

And the sass with the whole scene with Sam’s return and knocking him out of bed? Bwahahaha!!! “Oh, because I’m gonna rail Y/N in every room we have.” HELL YEAH!! Yeah, book that room, Sammy - right after your therapy session! This was SO DAMN GOOD! I needed this silliness and sweetness today more than you know. Thank you so much for this wonderful, hysterical, hot ride!! Happy Unattached Drifter Christmas to you ❤️

Are you aiming for a best reader award? What’s happening? 😳 Also, I literally love you to death for this 😘❤️ Here’s your award. You may take the boy and the prize:

And yes, thank you! Humor and personality is so important! I don’t wanna be bored to death for the rest of my life 😂 And who wouldn’t love this adorable idiot?

Besides, who’d want a perfect person? The pressure! Like, I don’t trust those motherfuckers. Nuh-uh, if you don’t have obvious flaws, you’re definitely a psycho and I don’t wanna be dismembered and buried in your yard 😒

Hahaha and well, that thorough fucking came from my prompt in the initial request (“soft love making”). You know me well enough by now to know I just run with that shit 😂🖤

And yeah, I guess Sam thought they were like Ross and Rachel, buy really they turned out to be Monica and Chandler 🤣

So happy I made your day a bit better with a few laughs, hun! And thank you for this amazing ask! Love you 🥰❤️😘

[kiwi-ex01]

Boruto: I’m the prettiest sibling (*ˇωˇ*)

Sarada and Kawaki: *Laughing hysterically*

Boruto: What the hell are you guys laughing at?!?!

Sarada: You think your the prettiest??? Bwahahaha

Kawaki: Yeah your pretty-pff-pretty UGLY!!! AHAHAHAHHAHAHA

Sarada and Kawki: *Dying of laughter*

Boruto: I f#*king hate you guys (눈‸눈)

[fluffonthebunniestail]

Slip up

Hello lovely people, sorry it's been a while! Also, I've been meaning to change the format to keep reading. Apparently, with what I'm using I cannot do that, but it shall change in due time! Yes, this is another Bakugō fic, I cannot get over myself.

Pairing: Lee!Bakugou/Ler!Kirishima

Summary: Bakugou decided to change up his wardrobe slightly, and that means tighter shirts. With that, Kirishima took it personally.

Warnings: swearing, tickle fic

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Bakugou was really testing his patients.

And he means really testing it.

For the reason Kirishima has no knowledge of, Katsuki had changed his style in shirts: tight and easily riding up.

This shirts weren't a constant; they would come and go, a switch between those and his usual tank tops.

And in all honesty, Kirishima was a bit distracted. He can't blame himself! Even just opening a cabinet and bam: abs on display. Kirishima then took it as a challenge. For what, he had no idea. It didn't matter.

It was perfect when he and Katsuki was alone due to the classmates going out, and the rest going home.

He looked up from where he was sitting (he was watching something on his phone; half of the time looking at other stuff), and he saw Bakugou walking to the kitchen, getting the pitcher of water from the refrigerator.

Kirishima felt his face heat up at the shirt he was wearing. It was a long-sleeved, tightly fitted black shirt. The hem of it ended just above his navel, and it accentuated the hell out of his figure. Kirishima thought it'd be unmanly to continue to stare any longer without at least striking up a conversation. He got up and walked to the counter Bakugou leaned on pouring water into a cup.

"Hey." He said, a little bit awkwardly to his taste.

"Hey." He responded softly without looking up. Katsuki was a lot more quiet and calmer when it was just the two of them. Yet strangely enough, he was more talkative. Those talks were more personal, and Kirishima loved every single on of them.

"You sleep well?"

"Yeah." He finally looked over, giving him a lopsided smile. Kirishima felt his stomach doing summersaults at the gesture. They began to talk, just talk about whatever came up in their heads. Little annoyances, stresses, and even random stuff on the internet.

Eventually, they began to walk slowly back to the living room. Kirishima didn't know what possessed him to be so bold, but he slipped an arm around Bakugou's shoulder. Surprisingly enough, the blonde didn't shove him off.

Bakugou was taken aback once the hand around his shoulder pulled him down to the carpeted floor, Kirishima following.

"Hey! The fuck are you doing?" The blonde exclaimed as Kirishima straddled him pulling his arms in his. Bakugou sputtered at the movement, and unable to keep the rising heat in his face at bay.

"Sorry but you're really asking for this." He chuckled in response, holding the blonde's hands to his chest.

"For what?" Bakugou asked, voice nearly above a whisper, and eyes transfixed on the other. The tone of voice shocked Kirishima.

"You know."

"What are you doing?" Bakugou whispered, ends of his lips turning into a smile.

"Well," he laughed breathlessly, securing the blonde's hands, pining with the left -hardened- hand, on his own chest, "I wanted to know this for a while now." He got closer to Bakugou's face, seeing his cheeks reddening, and his heart racing beneath the hands placed.

"And what's that?" Katsuki felt himself get a bit giddy, he wasn't the only one.

"Are you ticklish?" Kirishima saw confusion quickly cross over his face.

"Wait wha- BWAHAHAHA!" Bakugou exploded with laughter. Unable to react properly, the immediate and unexpected sensations drilling at his ribs drove him up the wall. He leaned to the left, where his ribs were being attacked, kicking blindly behind the redhead on top. "WHAHA-WHAT ARE YOU DOHOAHAHA!!"

"Damn dude, I wasn't expecting you to be this ticklish." Kirishima chuckled fondly, switching his hand to the right side of the hysterical boy's ribs.

Although there was extreme satisfaction with finding out Bakugou was ticklish, he was more focused on his face. Bakugou had his head back, lost in the overwhelming feeling. His eyes were screwed shut, his nose was scrunched adorably, and his mouth was wide with laughter pouring out. It was such a pure and sweet smile you wouldn't expect from him.

"Kirishihimahahaha...." He giggled as Ejiro poked and lightly scratched at his ribs. His body rolling side to side, at a halfhearted attempt to shake him off. He noticed that Bakugou could have shoved him off at any moment now, but he didn't.

"Yes?"

"Mhmhmpfft- hahaha!" He giggled heavily as Kirishima scratched his nails at the blonde's bare sides. He did a funny dance, wiggling like a worm. "You ahahass!!"

"You're not stopping me." Kirishima pointed out, watching his face get unbelievably more red. He used his index finger nail to slowly scratch up and down the side of Bakugou's stomach. The blonde underneath buck hard and shriek; a wave of light laughter following. "Pretty bad here, huh?" He teased.

"Shuhut- AAHAAGH NOHOHOHO!" The blonde practically screaming with uncontrollable laughter; Kirishima generally drilling his thumb at the side of his stomach. He began to squirm heavily; bucking and screaming. "NOT THEHAHAHAHA!! YOU BAHAHASTAHAHAHAH!" He also started to tug a bit at his trapped hands.

"Alright, I'll be nice." Kirishima chuckled. He stopped, placing his palm on top of the shaking abdomen, nearly bursting out in laughter at the fact it caused Bakugou to giggle. Giggle! He never thought Bakugou was capable of such a cute giggle. "Okay," he cleared his throat, "it's kinda obvious you don't want me to stop. Which is cute, really, but I want the clear to continue."

Below him, Bakugou was catching up with his breath, the red remaining on his cheeks.

"Want me to continue?" Kirishima asked calmy, he got a bashful mumble I'm response. "I need a clear answer."

"Do whatever." He grumbled, looking to the side.

"You sure?" He clarified, he got a light nod. Kirishima just smiled warmly, "on it!" His hand twitched, causing the blond to jump.

He then scratched at the abdomen below in a featherlight manner. He was instantly rewarded with high-pitched giggles and squirming. He scribbled at random places on his stomach; the sides of it, the upper and lower part of his belly, and the center of his stomach that gave him the strongest reaction.

He then began to claw at the center of his belly, dragging out a surprised snort.

"Oh my god, that was so fucking cute." Kirishima laughed, watching the blonde attempt to hide his face in the side of his shoulder, giggling.

"Wahahahihihit- nahahaHAHAHAHA YOU FAHAHAHAK!" He exclaimed when Kirishima began to put pressure on his taut stomach, he squealed then laughed the loudest Kirishima has ever heard. He wiggled his torso, the sensations spreading across his belly making his laughter go at a higher pitch.

"SHITSHITSHIT- AHAHAHAH YOUHUHU ASSHOHOHOHOLE!"

Kirishima could help himself but laugh along with the contagious laughter, especially feeling knees on his back; Bakugou trying to curl into himself. He shook his head back and forth, completely lost in laughter. Kirishima switched it up, going back to light tickling. He stroked one finger at the center of the boy's stomach, making him let out the cutest strangled squeal.

It suddenly stopped, some residential giggles slipping out. He hesitantly looked up at Kirishima who had a mischievous glint to his eyes.

"One more thing I wanna try." He said looking at an expectant and giddy Bakugou, who looked ready to burst into laughter at any second.

He lowered his hand down, spidering above the spiked-blonde's stomach. Much to his amusement, he sucked in his stomach and began to giggle softly.

"I'm not even touching you!" He giggled teasingly, making a mental note to how his tease made him giggle harder. He kept tickling the air above the shaking belly below, the string of giggles never ending.

"Stohohop teahahasing me you fuhuhuhuck!"

"Alright."

Nothing prepared Bakugou for Kirishima to sneak a finger in his navel.

"AAAAAGHAAHA!" He thrashed so harshly, he nearly threw Kirishima off him. The boy in hysterics arched his back; it only succeeded with making it easier for Kirishima to wiggle his finger in the extremely ticklish spot a little more. He reacted harshly.

He was screaming more than laughing; his head thrown back, unable to cope with the harsh tingling feeling that tickled him so intensely inside out. It tickled so, so bad. "I CAHAHAAN'T I CAHAHAHAHAHA!!"

His mind melted, in a daze as he couldn't focused on anything besides him reeling over how much it tickled. He went limp, and allowing himself to just laugh and laugh and laugh.

"This is your tickle spot, isn't it? Holy shit man, you have to be one of the most ticklish person I've ever met." He gave him a break once his laughter quickly got silent. He just tapped around the edges of his belly button, it was still enough for him to laugh. "Wow, you're, like, super ticklish."

"Hehehe! Shut uhuhuhup!!" He let out a near ear-piercing screech when Kirishima tapped at his navel. "Pleahahahahase nohoho!" He was squealing as Kirishima continued, "I'm toouhuahahaha- I'm too ticklihihihish thereahahahaha!!"

"At least you admitted it." He chuckled, letting up. He let go of Bakugou's hands, letting him catch his breath, little titters and giggles slipping out here and there. "That was the cutest shit I've ever seen."

"Ahaha... Gohohod... The hell was that?"

"What?"

"You getting up in my face like that." Bakugou almost mumbled.

"I think you're cute." That statement made Bakugou look up at him shocked, yet skeptical.

"Yeah fucking right."

"It's true!" He added by pinching up and down Bakugou's sides, making him jump and laugh harshly. He grabbed at his wrist.

"Kirihihihi!" He wined. He hiccuped, staring at the redhead incredulously.

"I like you." He blurred out. "Like a lot."

"I guess that's one way to tell me." He laughed breathlessly, panting from his earlier laugh-fest.

"Shit I-", he stopped himself, wiping his hands across his face, "I shouldn't have- I shouldn't have done that I'm so sorry. I-I don't know what got over me, and-"

He was interrupted by Bakugou pulling him down for a kiss.

"I wouldn't have let you do shit if I didn't like you dumbass."

"Oh..." He smiled.

It was a good fucking day.

[theofficialpeanutgallery]

‘Tis the season lmao

Have you ever wondered how someone meets Santa? Well, you need to follow a very specific ritual to summon him.

[katieamazeballs]

DWTS Tour recap!

Hey y’all! Here’s my (ever entertaining) tour recap! First of all, we are so grateful to this beautiful lady for giving us tickets for Christmas and coming with us. She was a little reluctant to go considering we told her we’d be leaving the house at 3 and returning God only knows when. But she wanted pics with the pros to brag to her Zumba friends. Imma say our experience delivered. She can’t wait to go next year!

After killing time with endless Jenga battles, we left at 3 to head downtown.

(Y’all should be impressed)

We got downtown, parked, and walked to the bus in hopes we’d see someone. Low and behold......

Abs Boo Thang was exiting the bus at that moment! He was in a rush but came over for a pic and a quick chat. She asked him if he remembered her from last year and he was like “Oh, yeah, of course!” (Bwahahaha). In typical fangirl Katie fashion....I totally forgot to give him his note 🤦🏻‍♀️ or get a pic with him. I’m so bad at this 😂. Abs asked where Wit was right as Carson was getting off the bus. Alan walked over and told him to go get Wit as they were walking into the venue. We stood there and the security lady came over and told us we couldn’t stand there so we left to do a lap of the venue. When we walked to the other side of the bus, we saw a couple way in the distance walking and my mom said “That could be Val and Jenna!” We watched for a second and I saw that mother truckin fanny pack strapped across the man’s chest and I was like “Holy crap it is!!!!” So we walked towards them hoping they’d turn down that sidewalk and not go towards the back of the venue. We leaned against a wall and “got busy on our phones” and put Abs on “see if they come this way” duty. She goes “Um....they are and Val just waved at me!” So we waited till they got closer and turned to wait. They stopped and Val said hello to us and Abs latched herself onto Jenna. My mom told them they were a beautiful couple and asked for a picture

I took one with Val while Abs latched herself back onto Jenna.

I asked him to sign my book and he laughed when I told him I carried that damned thing through MVP and forgot to ask him then

While he was signing, I got a pic with this gorgeous love

Then Abs latched herself onto Val. I went to take a pic and got this absolute gem

Abs is a little salty that she didn’t get one with Val alone but it worked out because somehow the one of her and Jen didn’t take (I think because he asked me a question and I turned to talk to him). We chatted a minute and I completely forgot to ask the questions I had planned (as big of a game as I talk...I’m a total blubbering idiot in front of them). Jen was surprised to see his book without the jacket because she hadn’t seen it naked before. My mom told her it was because I didn’t want it to get messed up in my purse and Val was like “that’s damn smart!” They left and I hollered “Oh my God come back! I have notes for you! I’m such a terrible fangirl in person”. Jenna laughed and Val told me I held it together better than most.

After that encounter we went back to the bus. The security lady chased us off again so we did a lap. My mom was saying she really hoped to meet Sasha and Emma. Abs wanted to meet Ruby. We stopped by the buses again and out walked the Farber family! My mother’s jaw hit the dirt! She went all blubbery fan girl and threw her phone in my direction for a picture

Abs asked if she could pet Ruby and they told her she could, if Ruby let her, because she has some anxiety issues. She was successful and says she is so soft.

Abs wanted a pic with Sasha AND Ruby so....

Abs then started talking to Emma.  She asked her if she remembered her from last year.  Emma also replied “Oh, sure I do”.  Abbie said “I still don’t know why I cried, I think I was overwhelmed”.  Emma’s lightbulb turned on and she got all excited “Oh my goodness!  I DO remember you!  We met over there!  Your mum took a video!”  This is the moment my love for Emma exploded.  She was already a fave, then we met last year and she was so sweet, then she somehow actually remembered us and holy crap y’all! 

(Y’all take note of that lady back there in the red jacket.  Homegirl was more and more pissed at every pic that we took. Jacksonville security hates me and my fangirl self)

 Since Big Bad Security Lady was real deal pissed off after Abs petted Rubes, we decided it was best to take another lap.  When we came back, Carson was standing there.  He is ADORABLE in person.  Like HOLY CRAP!  I asked him if I could take a picture.  He looked behind him then looked back at me and said “Me?”  I said, “Yep!”.  He lit up and was like “No one ever wants a picture with me!  Heck yeah, I’ll take a picture!”  Abs asked him to tell Wit she said hi and I gave him her note (because I finally got my shit together).

(Wit better look out.  Imma swoop in on her man)

The world’s friendliest security lady was eyeing us again so another lap was made.  When we came back, my mom decided she was “old and needed to check her phone” so we leaned up against a tree in direct defiance of the security nazi.  Out popped this beautiful man.  Holy Crap, y’all.  He is flippin gorgeous in person.  I mean like WHOA!  He laughed when I tried to take a picture because he’s real deal tall and I’m real deal short. He grabbed my phone and took the pics for us.  Ha! Words can not describe the beauty that is Gleb in person.  My mom kept saying how handsome he is. 

Right when Gleb left, this adorable human came out.  My mother’s face says it all.  He is just precious!  So kind, so baby faced, so very precious.

At this point, Meet and Greet had started so we wandered around to go see if we could tell who was inside because we still hadn’t found Joe, Artem, Hayley, Britt, or Wit.  I went around back while my mom and Abs held that tree up, which made the security lady’s day.  I saw Wit and Artem inside mingling so I knew we were pretty out of luck and went to collect the lurkers to go grab dinner.  My mom wanted to sit and watch M&G for a bit and all of us were in absolute awe of the beauty of Wit while she and Artem were happily selfieing (yeah, I made that a verb, deal with it) with the fans.  My mom couldn’t get over how the people in there paid that much money for tickets and we had met more than half the cast on our own terms. We went back out front for one more glance before dinner and somehow Artem was at the bus.  I was waving my squad over while I gave him his card and asked for a picture and he was reeeaaaallll skeptical.  He said “It depends, how many people are over there”. I said “Just me” as I am frantically waiving.  He cut his eyes at me and said “Are you suuuuuuure?”  I told him it was just my mom and daughter (as they finally moseyed over there) and he laughed and told me the guard was oddly insistent about them not talking to the fans at the bus for some reason and she was scary. 

Y’all….here’s where I show you a zoom in of Attila the Hun (from the background of our Esha encounter)…..who is not even a little impressed with the fact that we were at this show.  Artem was scared of her, my mother….not even a little.   

 We went and had some pizza, got our souveniers (including a mug for Bestie that I SWEAR Imma mail tomorrow), and went to the show.  Y’all….the show is AMAZING!  I liked it a lot more than last year!  The dances were amazing, the dialogue was hysterical.  My mom’s favorite part was Emma’s Elvis dance and the couple segment. Abs favorite dance was “The One Where Alan Is Shirtless”….so pretty much all of it.  My favorite was the flag dance.  I had seen clips of the drool worthy dance and of Sasha running out at the end.  What I hadn’t seen was that he runs out and in approx 5 times as the guys look at him like he’s insane.  He finally comes out with some tiny yard marking stake flag and starts waving it frantically, whacking Val with it.  I about peed myself!

 After the show, we went out to the buses and met up with Abs’ friend and her mom. We chit chatted and the actual DWTS Security guy came out.  He told us that the curfew was 10 (it was about 9:15) and that when he came and told us no one else was coming, we had to leave because the buses had to roll out right at 10.  He told us to respect the “very secure, military grade bike racks that were provided to us and no pushing or shoving.  A (very nice) arena security guy lamented the fact that no one ever wants to take a picture of him....then cracked up when I said “Oh, but I do!” and I did.

Joe came out and went directly on the bus, Alan came out and mingled (and cut me out of our selfie….brat),

Sasha came out and mingled for a loooooong time.  He made sure everyone got to talk to him and take their pictures.  He was great this tour! 

Most of the pros came out and went straight to the bus due to time.   At one point someone yelled “Hi Carson!”  The girl next to her said “That’s his last name, you idiot!” so she then yelled “Well, Hi Mr Witney!”  He chuckled and waved and went on the bus.  Abbie goes “Their last name is McAllister” and we all died laughing because it was hysterical.  Jenna came out and got some stuff out of the bus and that’s when I heard her say to someone on the staff “Actually, Val and I are…..” and now we know they went to Jersey. Witney came out to mingle and Abs lost her collective fan girl shit.  She absolutely LOVES Witney.  My mom couldn’t get over how stunningly beautiful Wit is in person and without makeup.  She is absolutely gorgeous.

When Wit came over to us Abs was in tears and Wit asked her name.  She told her Abbie and Wit said “Oh!  Carson told me you said hello!  I read your note!”  Abs’ friend’s mom managed to catch it all in pics and it’s adorable. 

After Wit, Britt came out but only got to about half the crowd (not us.....sigh).  Emma came out and security told her she couldn’t see anyone so she gave the crowd an air hug and told us she loved us and thanked us all for coming out as security was ushering Britt out and onto the bus.  As we were walking to the cars, Abs and her friend were catching up on some middle school gossip and her mom and I were exchanging tour stories. I brought up a picture of Shai’s hat and she was like OMG!  You’re on tumblr!  I still haven’t decided if I’m embarrassed or flattered, but this is gonna be so much fun!  Y’all…..she’s my kindred Valenna believer.  @edsy914

 All in all it was an amazing night that capped off a pretty damn epic weekend.  We got to meet everyone but Joe, Hayley, and Britt.  We all can’t wait to go next year!

[sun-scorned]

“OwO" (Rhaast or Kayn, or both if you want. Though Rhaast might be hysterical with his 2 jaws xD)

(both. both is good.)

“Oh, you’we that Sawah pehson I’ve-wait, whah? Oh noes! I’ve been cuwsed!”

“Bwahahaha! Oh that’s hystewical, I can’t bewieve-uh-oh, it wooks wike it’s contagious!”

[il0veyoujk]

Just imagine 15 S2

"3! 2! 1! HAPPY NEW YEAR!" you all three yell and clink your glasses of coke happily. The clock has just changed to 00.00 on January 1st, 2023.

You and your two best friends have decided to spend it together in your small apartment in Seoul. Nothing too fancy. Just in your pjs with chips, popcorn, pizza, and refreshments.

"Ayyy it's time for presents!" Jimin chuckles and rubs his hands together mischievously.

"Mine first!" you cluelessly exclaim. You have no idea what present they have prepared for you.

Yoongi and Jimin exchange smirky glances "Well, they asked for it" the oldest one wiggles his eyebrows and pounces on you. He wastes no time and digs into your sides mercilessly.

"EEK NAHAHAHAO AHAHAHAHA WAHAHAIT!" you shriek surprised as your back hits the ground. You thrash around and grip your friend's wrists to pull them off of you while you laugh loudly.

Jimin on the other hand headlocks your feet and starts scribbling on them like crazy "Coochie coochie coo y/n/n!" he giggles at your hysterical state.

"NYAHAHAHAOH WHAHAHAHAT ARE YOU DOHOHOING?!" you keep laughing and wiggling around unstoppably. It tickles way too much than you remembered. You haven't been tickled in a while.

"We're giving you your Christmas present you silly! Don't you like it?" Yoongi grins from ear to ear. He wiggles his fingers near your ribs only to increase your laughter.

"YEHEHEHES I LOHOHOVE IT!" you want to sound sarcastic, but your deafening laughter wouldn't let you. Kicking out and pushing at Yoongi's hands, you try to free yourself from their grip without doing much.

"Oh really? Then we should keep going till dawn!" Jimin giggles as he wiggles your toes one by one "This little piggy..." he starts singing and you start losing your mind from ticklishness.

"Till dawn, it is then!" Yoongi raises your shirt and bends down and blows a loooooong berry on your bare tummy.

"BWAHAHAHA NAHAHAHAO!!!!!" you scream begging for mercy. Maybe the scarf for Yoongi and the beanie for Jimin are old-fashioned presents. Tickle torture is the new trend!

Happy new year everyone! 🎄✨

This is the last episode of Just imagine S2! Let me guys know if you want a season 3 in the year and I hope you enjoyed this season!

[irafatum-a]

     “ What a worthless child you are! How dare you approach me as if you were my EQUAL!! This insolence will NOT be tolerated in my domain, and since you’ve been so kind as to present me with the Nephilim who helped destroy Mundus -- I thank you! Perhaps I will give you a peaceful death for all of your services to me, my daughter, for your body and your sword were of use to me until you turned into a TRAITOR!!!! All this time I had thought to spare you, my daughter, I had thought to again reach for you should your SKANKY ASS slither back into the depths of my Hell, but again I realize that leaving you alive will mean very little -- for [ REDACTED ] will not come for me nor for you... and so your purpose is MEANINGLESS. ”

                                    DEMONA - MISTRESS OF MADNESS

     Demona: the mother of Rose and a wrath spawn descended from the fifth circle of hell: anger, it was here that she was raised and molded into a maddened beast of lust and violence. The female demon has a warped mind due to her survival among other demons, she -- herself -- was often abused and tormented by them, even more so by the strongest within the circle until she fled for lust and limbo. Though previous to her turning mad she had never been one for ambition, the flame for more emerged something fierce when she had taken her first kill of a Nephilim: their blood and their lineage had turned her thoroughly obsessed: these beings; whose blood was piqued with strength had turned her attention from self-fulfillment to a severe ambition on ascending to the human world and conquering all -- for if she could not have Hell then she would have the mortal world. She would be a Queen and no longer would she be crushed under the oppressive heel of male demons, who sought to destroy and rape all within their path -- Demona had plans all her own. 

     She had devised a plan to ascend to Earth: first, she would need a powerful ally to fight against the Nephilim, and what better way than to breed with an angel and create her own super soldier. The demoness was no fool, she could never willingly acquire the assistance of a Nephilim to fight their own and seat herself as a supreme leader of madness... she would need to foster a strong bond with brainwashing to ensure compliance. So the answer was simple: get impregnated by a powerful angel that would, in turn, give her a powerful child and she knew just exactly whom to choose: [ REDACTED ]. Once she had pointed out a target, she immediately attempted to coax him from heaven as he appeared to battle demon and Nephilim alike that approached Heaven’s Gate -- even by accident. Day after day, month after month the demoness called to [ REDACTED ] with promises of love, sex, and obedience, but none would shake his resolve to God and his duty. Instead of being drawn into her, he was instead repulsed by the very sight of her, remarking on her demonic stench and sinful goals -- he had made it clear he was not interested nor would be swayed. Instead, Demona had to implement a different plan if she were going to get his cooperation, there would be no raping the angel as he could slice her in two before the deed was done, and Demona was not looking to die before her time. 

     With help of elixirs and ancient spells, Demona was able to learn how to transform her shape into that of a pure, holy woman of God: beautiful golden hair, voluptuous body modestly covered in cloth of white, and atop her head a crown of thorns that she proudly wore with bashful amber eyes. To finish off this new body she came up with a name: Danielle, a young woman born to poor peasants that could not afford to keep her, and instead, sent her to live within a monastery to become a nun and pray for his mercy onto them. Again she approached the Heaven’s Gate, pleading to God to have mercy on her soul and that of her family, begging for death and guidance, only to have [ REDACTED ] appear and become stunned at the sight of the beautiful woman: there she stood, broken and lost, hoping to be guided to the holy father’s light. In all his life he had never become so smitten before and had never questioned how she’d gotten there in the first place, instead he abandoned his convictions to speak with the woman, and as they grew closer Demona grew ever more excited -- soon she would have his seed, and soon she would be heavily pregnant with his child. It merely took a week to finally seduce [ REDACTED ] into a fit of lust, and as they rut for three days straight, when finally impregnated Demona removed her disguise in fits of hysterical laughter, claiming victory and eagerly holding tightly to [ REDACTED ] in near desperation. “ Now I will have your child!! Now we can finally, truly be together! Oh, you see the past week I’ve grown a soft spot for you, mmm? How could I ever find a man more powerful than you? Abandon him, abandon God and be my lover! Let us be together until the Earth is no more! Until existence is no more! ” 

     “ You wicked harpy, so full of lies and deceit!! The woman that hath taken my heart does not exist, and I have sinned against my father in vain! I have failed him and his tenets! I must correct this mistake -- as a mercy to my unborn child, I will slay you, here and now, and no longer will your treacherous breath nor voice exist further. ” [ REDACTED ] wasted little time in trying to destroy Demona; hoping to pierce her through with his holy spear and angelic trigger, but unfortunately for him, she was elusive and escaped his clutches -- just barely. 

     Demona, unable to accept that [ REDACTED ] had immediately refused her upon realizing whom she was, could not accept it and gradually began to spiral out of control. Having nearly escaped death by his hands she knew she could not return, lest he would be quick to dismember her body in hopes of extinguishing the life she’d fought so desperately to acquire in her belly. To increase the chances of survival for not only herself -- but her unborn -- she returned to the second layer of Hell; Lust. It was here that she prepared for the coming of her child, and from that point out made it a point to not only train her child in the art of warfare and strategy but obedience and dependence upon herself. When it was discovered that she would be having a girl, Demona was even further elated as a female could go undetected and underestimated compared to that of a male, coupled with many other benefits that she used to her advantage -- unfortunately allowing her daughter to suffer under many cases of abuse ( sexual and otherwise ) from demons. She did not go about naming her daughter, instead of calling her ‘brat’, ‘scum’, and various other expletives in hopes of demeaning her and asserting hierarchy. And with her daughter's obedience, fear and strength went about murdering other powerful demons to assert power, quickly taking over a slight portion of Lust’s territory, driving out the inhabitants through force and bribery. 

     This reign of terror and abuse did not last forever, eventually, the daughter had enough of her mother’s fierce hold and turned her strength upon her own kin, nearly killing her but not being strong enough to entirely off her -- instead -- she fled to the surface in her attempts to be free. Upon her ascension to limbo, Demona called to her: “ you will never escape me!! Everything you are is because of me!! NEVER FORGET THAT, YOU UNGRATEFUL BRAT! YOU WILL DIE ABOVE, MUNDUS WILL FIND YOU AND WITH SPARDA YOU WILL DIE LIKE THE REST OF THEM -- BWAHAHAHA!! Return to me, my daughter, for you are safest within my bosom! Fwhahaha! ”

     Rose did, in fact, return to the second circle of hell -- though not alone: by her side was one of the son’s of Sparda; Vergil. Together they sought to dominate Hell and those whom occupied it for the greater good; to battle against Dante and regain control of limbo city. When finding out that her mother is still very much alive, Rose requests they find her themselves and dispatch of her knowing what a nuisance her parent could be, with an ulterior motive in mind. . .

     Demona, though powerful and fierce, did not hold up against the fight with Vergil and Rose, instead, she was brought to the brink of death and remained alive enough to curse on both her daughter and her ‘playmate’, scowling about her daughter’s spinelessness, daring her to kill her then and there. Instead, Rose figured she could put her mother to better use, “ as if I would grant you the mercy of death -- why should I? My life has been nothing but enslavement to you and your whims, and I think it only fair that you spend the rest of your days.... serving me and mine! ” Demona, ironically, took no offense to this and instead shrilled out in a fierce laughter, watching her own daughter pierce her clawed hand deep into her own chest with a pained cough, “ y-yes!! Take your revenge on me, take my body and my soul! Maybe I have taught... agh! Taught you well, my daughter, maybe now you will see... the glories of... SUFFERING! Take my power -- take it and DESTROY EVERYTHING! ” The cries of her mad laughter subsided when her body disintegrated into a fierce red light, transforming her into a blade: Datura; a blade harnessing the powers of a wrath demon, channeling blood and flame to destroy foes... though with a cost; one must first stab themselves in offering of blood -- gruesomely -- should they wish to truly tap into it’s potential. 

      “ Don’t worry, mother, I have plans for you. We’ll be a family again, don’t you worry... ”

[iwillgoalone-m]

Fuck, Marry, Get Drunk With. Fingon, Turgon, Argon. Bwahahaha

Fuck, Marry, Get Drunk With. Send me 3 names.     

        “In a ideal world can’t I just fuck or marry them all? They’re all such lovely boys—No? oh alright.” … “Fuck Turu, Marry Finno (my sweetheart of a nephew would be the best to marry I think ) and get drunk with Argon. Just beware of falling trees. I’m not carrying him.”

        “…ignoring they’re all my brothers… because… you…” shakes head. “Get drunk with Finno, he’s hysterical drunk. Marry Arakano, because I must protect him. F…..fuck Turu.” blinks so much. So much blinking. make it stop.

[askkidandzoro-blog]

Thanks a lot. It’s always great to have such cool followers like you. ;)

Now for answering the ask... how about another short story? Maybe I can even get Zoro to throw in some illustrations while I’m at it~

(For bigger versions of the pictures look here: AO3)

“Date idea 63: Go on a double date.“

And while it had not been the worst idea, it certainly had not been the best either.

Maybe it was because Law hated any activity including crowds of people. Maybe it was because Zoro seemed bored by every suggestion not related to physical exercise. Maybe it was because letting Kid loose on most public places could be considered an act of sheer irresponsibility. Maybe it was because Sanji desperately insisted on “something romantic.” Or maybe it even was all those things together. No matter how - in the end the result stayed the same: Just the four of them in the middle of nowhere-woods plus one tent.

They quickly had decided on sharing tasks. Kid and Law would set up the camp while Zoro and Sanji were off collecting firewood and comestibles. It was as simple as that. The definition of “simple“ however is known to lie in the eye of the beholder....

It had been a hot August day so far, draped in a cloudless sky and filled with the chirping of thousands of crickets. In the forest it was cooler though and Sanji was all too eager to leave the aisle behind where their camp was located. One hand wrapped around the handle of a wicker basket, the other dragging Zoro along, who was loaded with every backpack they could muster. After the shower of summer rain the other day - so Sanji thought - the woods had to be stuffed with mushrooms. In fact he could already smell them; amongst all the other damp, soily scents.

“Can’t you let go of my hand?“

Zoro was not too amused about the cook clinging onto him. How was he supposed to collect firewood like that?

“Not happening“, Sanji smiled, following a narrow trail uphill, “I came here for mushroom hunting, not for tracking down lost mossheads.“

“I know the way!“

“As if!“

Laughing Sanji dragged Zoro farther along the path until they reached the top of a small mound. From here the view was breathtaking. Old, gnarly trees watched over the sink in front of them, enclosing it like a protecting cocoon. One side was covered in steep stone, the other in every shade of green possible. A certain magic seemed to fill the place and from underneath branches of fern tiny, yellow dots looked up warily at the two intruders.

“Chanterelles!“

Full of excitement Sanji started to climb down the slope. Those spicy mushrooms were what he had come here for. He even bravely had accepted the possibility of encountering ticks, mosquitoes, deer flies or other vermin in the process.

“Just look at them, marimo! They’re huge! And so many of them!“

He squatted and started to fill his basket to the brim. The smell was irresistible and - oh! - he knew exactly what meal to prepare this evening. After all he had brought along two crates of eggs, which waited for being scrambled. The mushrooms would be a delicious addition and there were more than enough of them to suit their needs. In fact they were so many that he had to use both hands to collect them.

Wait. Both hands?

He stared at them for one moment, then spun around to look back at where he had last seen Zoro.

“Damn it! Marimo!“

Of course he was gone. Lost. Like always. How naïve had Sanji been to expect anything else?

“Oh, you...! Just wait ‘til I’ve found you!“

Angrily he got up again, grabbed his basket and stomped back uphill.

“Oi! Marimo!“

From the top of the mound he already had found him. Which Sanji deemed to be pure luck. Usually Zoro managed to get swallowed up by earth.

“Why did you wander off like that?“, Sanji scolded him while approaching him through waist-high spruce trees, “All on your own!“

Zoro, who had been stuffing branches into his backpacks until now, looked up and furrowed his brows.

“I’m collecting firewood as told, idiot cook!“

“Yeah, but don’t get lost the very moment I’m not keeping an eye on you!“

“I’m not lost!“

“Yes, you a...aaaaaahhhh!“

Sanji had almost reached the spot where Zoro was standing, but then suddenly jumped back fidgeting.

“There! There! There...!“

He pointed at Zoro’s feet, his face the epitome of horror.

“Huh?“

It did take Zoro not too long to realize.

“Oh, that’s why my legs are itching....“

“You’re standing in an anthill, you shitty retard! Get out immediately!“

“Already doing that! Don’t yell at me!“

With a few angry steps Zoro escaped from the tiny insects, which were tirelessly defending their stronghold. It was not all that easy though, as the ants turned out to be clingier than the cook.

“They’re inside my trousers!“, Zoro grunted while wildly shaking his legs and hitting the fabric with his hands. It looked like some silly dance.

Which Sanji did not seem to enjoy watching in any way.

“Stop that, stupid mosshead! You’re getting them everywhere!“, he yelled and even took some more squeamish steps back, “Take off your pants instead!“

“What?“

“Take off your pants!“, Sanji repeated hysterically, “We need to burn them!“

“BURN THEM?“

“At least boil them!“

Zoro stared at Sanji irritated, scratched his leg and then said: “If you really think that’s necessary....“

“I’m pretty sure it is!“

“Okay, okay....“

He knew in which cases resistance was futile. Sanji being afraid of insects was one of those cases. So he took off his shoes and his trousers, then crammed them into one of the backpacks. He shouldered the backpacks again, then stood up straight and looked at Sanji with a grumpy face.

“Satisfied? Can we go back now?“

“I... I guess....“

Undoubtedly Zoro looked hilarious wandering through the woods half naked, and bright red underpants did not help at all to improve that picture.

“You’re looking silly, marimo“, Sanji said as he desperately tried to hold back a giggle.

“Very funny, cook! You know whose fault it is!“

“Ah, come on, let’s check on the others. I’m sure they’ve already put up the tent.“

Little did he know....

The sun burned down at the aisle without any mercy. It were days like these when one could encounter the rare sight of Law in t-shirt and shorts. Any other day he was simply feeling way too cold for what others would describe as proper summer outfit. Today he was feeling way too hot instead. Either way - temperature was just not his thing.

So unsurprisingly he was just sitting on a log right now and skipping through the instruction manual of the tent. It seemed big enough for four people to fit in and even came with its own built-in mosquito net and a canopy in front of the entrance. Sadly though the pictures looked nothing like what Kid was currently struggling with.

“You might be doing this wrong...“, Law said in a bored tone.

“Whatcha sayin’?“

An angry red head appeared from behind a mass of gray tent canvas and mixed up poles.

“It doesn’t even look anything like a tent“, Law added and held the manual in Kid’s line of sight, “And I always thought you were good at engineering.“

“Oh, just shut up and get your own work done!“

“Already finished.“

He pointed at a perfect circle of stones on the ground next to him. It was meant to be the fireplace later on.

“Applause, please....“

Kid rolled his eyes, then vanished behind the tent canvas again. Law only shrugged and went back to reading the manual.

For quite some time none of them said a word. Finally Law sighed and slowly got up from the log.

“Why are you doing this without looking at the manual in the first place?“, he asked and approached that disastrous gray mass.

This time Kid’s head popped up faster than an angry snake.

“You’re such a wiseass, Trafalgar! Why don’t you go on and pitch that bloody tent?“

He kicked some of the helplessly stuck together poles. What only made Law sigh once more, before he almost gently shoved Kid aside.

“We don’t want it broken, Kid. Unless you have the ultimate answer to how to deal with a mosquito-plagued Sanji.“

A grumpy growl was all that could be heard.

“Well, then. Let me see if I can fix this....“

That said Law disappeared somewhere between and under the different layers of canvas. He rumbled and fiddled about, pulled the poles out of their loops, stuck them back in and finally....

“Bwahahaha! Law! Your manual sucks big time!“

“Stop laughing! At least it looks like a tent.“

“It’s upside down!“

Kid was laughing tears, while Law tried to adjust his creation so that it would be a bit more usable. To no avail.

“Forget it, Law! Haha! That’s even worse than mine!“

“You wish. Yours looked like a sick giraffe“, slowly but steadily Law became annoyed, “If I only knew how....“

He grabbed the manual again, comparing it to the thing in front of him.

“A sick giraffe? At least I didn’t forget half of the pieces!“

Kid picked up two parts of an incomplete pole and waved them in front of Law’s face.

“Quit it, Eustass! I’m trying to think!“

“Yeah, obviously you’re not trying hard enough“, he put the two pieces together, then he leaned over the tent to reach some of the loops, “I guess it’s meant to go in here....“

“No, it’s not! Give it to me!“

Still with the manual in one hand Law leaned over the tent from the other side and tried to take the pole away from Kid with the other.

“I won’t! You’re so fucking bad at this...!“

“You’re one to talk!“

Both they were clinging onto the pole in an attempt to wrestle it out of the other’s hand. The tent meanwhile was greatly in their way and not too stable at the same time. In fact it was already tipping, when Law lost his balance and fell face first into the canvas. On top of him landed a cursing Kid and the whole motion finally caused the indefinable structure to overturn.

In uncontrollable wobbles they rolled downhill, still yelling and throwing insults at each other. Somewhere between them gray canvas and an assortment of springing poles.

It was a little stream which ended their journey.

“Fuck that shit! I’m SO done with this tent! I’m wet all over! Law, you’re an asshole!“

“Yeah, you too. Could you please get up? You’re heavy.“

Law was lying on his stomach and seemed to have decided that resignation was the best way to deal with this situation. Underneath him the water was flowing happily, on his back rested a tent and his idiot boyfriend, and to make matters worse the manual in his hand was completely soaked.

Out of all moments this was the one when Zoro and Sanji decided to return from their mushroom hunt.

The sight was not quite what they had expected. For both pairs.

“Are the two of you too stupid to pitch a tent?“, Zoro complained, not knowing if he should be angry or puzzled. Meanwhile Sanji seemed to be frozen stiff in shock.

Kid, who just had crawled to his feet again, stared at them for a second, then he responded: “And you are stupid enough to lose your pants and shoes in the woods? With what were you thinking? Your dick?“

“We didn’t have sex!“

It took them some time to get everything explained.

In the end though Sanji regained his ability to move and shooed wet Law and Kid together with the tent canvas to a sunny spot, so they could dry. After them he sent Zoro, whom he had ordered a treatment from Law against his ant-bites. And while the doctor-in-training applied ointment to the irritated skin, Sanji was happening to the camp. He pitched the tent, lighted the fireplace and prepared four huge servings of scrambled egg with chanterelles. All on his own! So much for teamwork.

Night had settled and an ocean of stars sparkled down from above. The view was exactly what Sanji had wished for when he had decided the hillside to be the best camping spot. Now he sat on one of the logs next to the fireplace and admired the dark velvet sky. On his lap rested Zoro’s head, which he caressed from time to time, both hands deeply sunk into the mossy hair. Zoro himself enjoyed it with closed eyes, but was not yet asleep for a change. Too pleased was he by the cozy atmosphere created by tamely leaping flames, the scent of burned wood and the cool of the night. Calm guitar sounds coming from Law sitting at the other side of the fire rounded everything perfectly off. Although he was just strumming some improvisations, giving Kid next to him rarely seen smiles every now and then.

“You know what?“, Kid said after a while and put a grilled marshmallow into his mouth, “This whole double-date idea certainly wasn’t the best.“

“Yeah, might be“, Zoro answered with a content smile, “But it also wasn’t the worst.“

They all laughed. Yes, this was something they could happily agree on.

[howl-fantasies]

YEEEEESSSSSS! Thank you so much for the update dear!!

Maggie is ready to join Gotham Queen Bitches' club after this, woo-hoo!

Basil is a little snitch 😂 and everyone reacted in the best twisted way, so accurate ahaha!

I love Maggie, Bruce and Selina interactions. I'm asking myself what Bruce will think about Maggie's development in the city and how he will interact with her when he'll be the Batman, pretty sure he will try to save her in a way or another like he did with Harley. Same with Selina, how will she act around Maggie as an adult since they'll have history.

Y/N laughing like a maniac made my day, I imagine Victor and her in a torturing room having a ball and laughing hysterically after something 'funny' happened. *Creeeepy!!!*

The: "What happened to him?" "Y/N happened" made my day 😂. It matched so well with the mini OS I wrote about Zsasz under Ivy's poison and how Y/N convinced him to smash his own head against the GCPD's interrogation room table to prove his love for the redhead, until Victor passed out like the idiot he is. Bwahahaha!

Can't wait for the next chapter! I absolutely love your story. Thank you so much for your work and the time you take to write it. It always makes my day ♥️

Have a beautiful day/night and take care dear 😘

Poison the Ivies:

Tag: @keffirinne @howl-fantasies @flaysthings

Maggie’s POV:

I stomped into the dinning hall, a place where Oswald frequently held meetings. Four angry sets of footsteps followed shortly after. I walked to the end of the room near the window and began pacing. This was bad, this was really bad. I had five of the scariest people in Gotham upset with me right now. How I was still breathing was a miracle.

“Maggie” a voice called.

I wasn’t sure which one.

“Maggie!” It called louder

I kept on with my pacing, biting at my nails.

“MAGNOLIA BLOSSOM!”

Now that voice caught my attention. Y/N, shit.

“Sit down!” She demanded.

I didn’t need to be told twice. I was an idiot, not suicidal.

They all stood, staring down at me. It was like they were debating who should speak first. But Y/N as usual took the reigns.

“What’s this Basil was telling me about you lying to us?” Y/N said.

Attempting to sound calm. But you didn’t need to be a genius to know she’s was just one wrong answer away from exploding.

“I can explain.”

“Really? Go ahead then kitten.”

I opened my mouth several times, attempting to think of a coherent answer. But it was heard to think when Victor Zsasz’s eyes were boring into your soul.

“Can you make him stop, he’s stressing me out.” I mumbled.

“He’s stressing you out?” Oswald laughed. “Magnolia, you have someone trying to kill you, Victor is the least of your worries.”

“This is Gotham, everyone’s always trying to kill everyone.” I tried to defuse the situation.

It seemed my humour was not appreciated at this time.

“Why does Ivy want you dead?” Y/N asked.

“What do you told them that but you couldn’t bother to explain the rest?” I glared at Basil.

Fucking snitch, can’t even do his job right.

“Oh no, he did, I want to hear it from you. Explain to me again how you got yourself in this situation.”

“Sorry I was trying to be an adult and handle my own mess. I didn’t want to drag anyone else into my bullshit. I was handling it.”

“Handling it.” Victor scoffed.

I shot him a glare. Not my best idea.

“We’ll that’s the problem isn’t it? You’re just a little girl! And now mommy and daddy have to clean up your mess.” Y/N scolded.

I hated when she talked down to me like I was just some kid. I’m not the naive little girl I was when I first moved here. Before I ever met Y/N and her insane husband. Before I ever got dragged into the underground. Before I ever got blood on my hands.

Though I suppose that wasn’t true. Grodd showed me the truth. He showed me the memories I’d long forgotten of my childhood. The memories I had before Oliver and Thea. Before Slade killed our mother in front of us. Before I ran away from home, making my way to this god forsaken city. And now my mind was clearer than ever.

I was never meant to be innocent, that ship sailed a long time again. And I was tired of pretending I was to keep up this facade. Sure I’m not some hardened criminal. But I’ve seen things, done things nobody should ever have to do. Molly Maddox was a part of me I could never change. She was a part of me that protected me from trauma, therefore making me weak. But that barrier was down now. I was Magnolia Blossom because I wanted to be, not out of survival anymore.

There was no going back to who I was before all this bullshit. That person simply did not exist anymore.

“No.” I simply said.

“I’m sorry, did you just tell me no?” She asked.

I stood up from my chair.

“I’m not gonna let you just waltz in there and take the kill. I’ve worked to damn hard, suffered too much. Ivy Pepper is mine, and I’m going to make her regret every knowing the name Magnolia Blossom. If you want to help, I’m not gonna stop you. But nobody lays a hand on Pepper. I’m done being a scared little girl. You can lecture me about it later.”

The four of them stood there stunned. Basil was holding back a smirk, the edge of his mouth twitching ever so slightly. Oswald was smiling like an idiot, all anger lost in his face.

“So you do have balls after all” Victor said.

“I trained you good.” Y/N smirked.

I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. Standing up to them was possibly the scariest thing I’d ever done. And I’m glad it didn’t backfire on me.

“She’s going to go after Bruce, she needs him for her plan to cover gotham in plant life. Something about a solution that will decompose bodies faster, filling peoples insides with plants until they strangle out your organs and burst out of you.”

Oswald shook his head in disgust.

“She needs my blood to complete the process. Which means she’ll come to get me next. She also has a plan to keep the cops distracted, a love flower than can make the people who come in contact with it obsessed with her. They’ll do anything she wants without question. Vic, Basil, do you think you could stake out the police station to make sure she can’t enslave any of them.”

Basil nodded his head.

“You just want us to babysit your precious little detective.” Victor sneered.

I rolled my eyes.

“Or I don’t want all of Gotham’s police to have their guns trained on me. I know they’re shit shooters but I don’t seem to be very lucky these days.”

“Os, you’re the only person in town other than Selena that she kinda likes, think you could try to distract her?”

“I’m not sure how well that will go, but I’ll do it.”

I smiled. Y/N stood there with her hands crossed over her chest, looking smug as hell.

“What?”

“Aren’t you going to order me around like everyone else?” She raised a challenging brow.

“I’m not ordering anyone. Simply trying to communicate, something you were just yelling at me for not doing less than 20 minutes ago. We all know nobody call tell you what to do.”

“What’s your plan kid?”

“You’re the back up. If I fail, you get to kill when and say I told you so. Sound fair?”

She laughed, a short and crut laugh, throwing her head back.

“I think I like this new you kitten, feisty.”

“No, to wait around and get kidnapped so she doesn’t suspect anything.” I said, as if it was the most normal thing in the whole world.

My siblings would be so ashamed if they saw me now. Oliver might understand more than Thea. He’s had to kill people before, back on Lian Yu. But ever since he met Felicity he suddenly had a new moral compass, against killing his villains. Something about “hero code”, which is utter bullshit. Why lock someone up when you know they’re just gonna break out and kill more people? Just so you don’t have blood on your hands, and skeletons in your closet? Kind of selfish if you ask me.

When I woke up the next day, I was in a different room. Thomas Wayne’s study. I was tied to a chair, but my back felt warm. I turned my head to side to see Bruce passed out in the chair behind me. There was a thin trail of blood on his forehead, he must have put up a good fight. Poor kid. And where was Alfred? I wouldn’t put it past Ivy to try and kill the man, which I desperately hoped wasn’t the case. Bruce was like me, he couldn’t afford to loose anyone else. I’d already lost two sets of parents in my life, I couldn’t imagine losing Y/N or Victor. No matter how much they got on my nerves.

I nudged my shoulder, trying to wake him up. He came too after a few minuetes.

“Maggie?” He asked.

“Hey Brucie. Told you I’d come visit soon.” I joked.

He didn’t find it very funny.

“How’s your head?”

“Throbbing, but I’m fine. Ivy-“

“I know. I know.” I said, trying to keep the boy calm. “Don’t worry, I’ve got a plan. Just follow my lead and do what she asks, yeah? We don’t need that genius little brain of yours getting bashed in.”

“She told me he plan to use the Wayne toxin, to counter all the damage our company made to the earth. She wants me to pay for what my dad did to all the plants in Gotham.” He said.

“I’m not going to let her lay another hand on you, ok Bruce. Where Alfred?”

“I don’t know, he had some business to deal with. When I tracked his cell it said he was somewhere in the narrows.”

Of course he had a tracker on his butler. It was sort of adorable, how much he cared.

“The narrows?” I asked, more to myself than the kid.

What the hell could Alfred Pennyworth need on the Narrows? To break up the Peace, Ivy entered the room with a few goons to guard the exits.

“Morning sleepyheads.” She greeted.

I rolled my eyes. Always fashionably late with this one. She started monologuing to Bruce, telling him step by step what she was going to do. And how she was going to “save” Gotham. Just hearing her talk made me sick. She had killed Grodd again, after he betrayed her. Saying she no longer needed him for her bigger plan. She’d found a better way to control the population. Which was true, her love concoction was quite potent.

Bruce convinced her that he’d help her finish her serum if she untied us. Smart on the kids part, he was playing up the victim role nicely. She leaned down and gave him a kiss. Which made me extremely uncomfortable to witness. I swore I was about to pull right there. She untied him first, then me with a warning. Bruce and I worked in silence for nearly half an hour. I was able to send him secret messages through the the morse code he’d taught me. Reassuring him that everything was still going according to plan.

I knew if Selena Kyle was anything like me, and she was, she’d come looking for Bruce when he didn’t respond for a while. And his phone had been blowing up on the corner the last hour. I watched silently as she crept in through the window, grabbing on of the goons and taking them hostage. Ivy’s face went from bored to excited.

“Seems like the kitty joined our garden party! Good, now you’ll get to watch him die.”

We were almost finished with the serum, but there was no way in hell I’d let her use it on Bruce.”

I passed Bruce a letter opener and he had my back while I continued working.

“What’s this Maggie, not going to join their little heroine party?”

“It’s pointless Ivy, you’re just going to kill is anyway.”

I tried to act defeated, and it seemed to have fooled the villainess. Between Selena and Bruce they were able to knock out most of the goons, Ivy finally stepping up to play.

“Enough!” She grabbed Bruce by the throat, threatening to dig her nails into his jugular.

Selena froze, and I broke my concentration. It was expected sure; but I wasn’t really willing to call her bluff when Bruce’s life was on the line. I placed the finishing ingredient in the serum. My blood. I cut into my hand and let it fall into the concoction. A sizzling sound filling the air, as a sickly sweet smell filled the room.

“It’s done, Ivy. Put him down. This is between me and you.” I bargained.

She smiled, a Cheshire Cat like grin.

“And we have the perfect little test subject.”

“Let them go Ivy. They’re just kids.” I reasoned.

“But he’s still a Wayne, and she’s just a lowly thief of an ex best friend. Who’s gonna miss her?”

I saw her reach for the special flower pollen she had in her pocket. She was going to enslave them. I had to act quick or my plan would fall apart. And I couldn’t have their deaths on my conscious, worse, actually have to hear Y/N say “I told you so”

“Selena Run!” I yelled.

I threw a book at Ivy’s head, the object distracting her for a second as she let go of Bruce. Selena grabbed his hand and ran. Ivy hot on their tail as she caught her bearings. I was quick to extract some of the serum into a syringe and chase after them. Thankfully the idiot was wearing heals, so I could easily catch up. The kids made it to the bottom of the stairs and we’re headed to the door. I tackled Ivy, the two of us stumbling down the grand stair case. That would surly leave several bruises.

We fought for a minuet struggling on the ground. She used her vines to trap both the kids before they could leave.

“Just give up Maggie. You’re not going to beat me. Your little assassins aren’t here to protect you now.”

I watched as the kids struggled agains the vines. The thorns cutting into their skin lightly. I wasn’t gonna let her win. I couldn’t. I lunged forward, but she easily dodged. Ivy swiped at my face, her claw like nails cutting through my skin and slicing into my left eye. I cried out in pain falling to the ground and holding my face. My vision severely impaired now.

Ivy moved in closer, seemingly ready to admit the finally blow. I mean she had all she needed from me. No reason to keep me alive.

“Any last words?” She asked smugly.

I beaconed her closer. And when she was close enough I plunged the needle into her neck, injecting the liquid.

“Yeah, have fun being plant fertiliser bitch!” I said.

She stumbled back, ripping the needle out of her neck. Her eyes widened in shock. Her control of the vines loosening, as the kids fell to the floor. I quickly scrambled up, running over to them to check them both for any serious injuries.

“We’re fine.” Selena assured.

The door creaked open and I instinctively shoved them behind me. I saw Y/N standing there and relaxed a little.

“You we’re taking too long, I got worried.” She said.

We watched as Ivy stumbled forward, seemingly to try one last time to get what she wanted. Y/N raised he gun to shoot her in the head, but I held my hand up to stop her. She raised a brow at me.

“Wait.” I said.

“If you’re going soft on me now-“

She was cut off when we heard Ivy mutter. “Shit!”

She exploded in a display of viscera and plant matter. I used my hands to cover Bruce’s eyes, and he did the same to Selena. I cringed as the blood hit my face.

Y/N started laughing hysterically, louder than I’d ever heard her laugh before. She wiped down blood off her cheek.

“Holy shit kid, that was brutal.” She laughed. “Come on, to celebrate baby’s first mission, I’m taking the three of you to get ice cream.”

She said. As if we all hadn’t just witnessed something incredibly traumatic. She reached out her hand to help me off the floor. Selena pulled away from Bruce, and despite the blood all over them, I could still see their cheeks flush as they looked away from each other.

“You think maybe we could stop by the hospital first?” I said, pointing to my eye.

She rolled her eyes, breaking into a big smile. She threw her arm over my shoulder.

“I’m proud of you kitten. But you ever do something like this again, I’ll kill you myself”

We followed her out of the house, the police and Alfred being stationed outside. Bruce ran over to give the worried butler a hug. I gave him a weak smile as he mouthed a “thank you” seemingly for keeping the boy alive.

There was an ambulance waiting, and Jim was quick to rush over and get me to sit.

“Shit, Maggie, you looks awful”

“Gee thanks, exactly what a girl wants to hear from her crush.”

He shook his head. “I’m just glad you’re ok.” He said, pulling me in for a hug and kissing the top of my head. I’m pretty sure my heart was beating faster now than when I thought I was going to die. When the paramedics finished the stitches I hopped up.

Basil was leaning against the car, and Zsasz was passed out in the back seat.

“The hell happened to him?” I asked.

“Y/N happened.”

I chuckled. Basil pulled me into a hug and helped me into the car.

A few weeks later:

I was sitting in the ice burg lounge, nursing a drink at the bar, when I heard the click of heels. I turned to see Tabitha and Butch standing there. My face lit up, but I was nervous. Surely they were mad at me. I looked back down at my drink, downing it in one go. I was going to leave, let them have fun. It’s not like they didn’t deserve it.

“Oswald told us what happened.” Butch started.

I halted in my tracks, turning around.

“You really sent us away to protect us?” Tabitha asked, skeptical.

I didn’t blame her. Nobody in Gotham did anything without an ulterior motive.

“You’re my friends.” I said.

Friend was a term that was used loosely in these parts of town. I had to admit, it was really nice seeing them. I was going to leave it at that, but Butch opened his arms. I silent invitation. He was like a big teddy bear. It was funny watching people shake in fear before him, knowing what he was like behind closed doors. An overgrown puppy. I gratefully accepted the hug. Tabitha placed a hand on my shoulder.

“It’s nice to be home.” She said, smiling. “Sick scar by the way.”

She complemented. I was supposed to be wearing an eye patch but I hated how ridiculous it made me look. Butch pulled back to look at it, lightly tracing the claw marks with his fingers.

“You know, I know somewhere you can get a new eye.” He said.

Only in Gotham.

An: remember that episode where Victor was all lovey dovey for Ivy? Yeah that’s what’s happening in their POV right now. Y/N rushes over there to help get her husband back, because he’s not allowed to be obsessed with anyone other than her. She the scolds him and Basil when Vic comes to, and asks Basil why he let this happen. And Basil just shrugs “it was funny”

[kmp78]

"hysterical impressionists" Bwahahaha thats gold K. :)

The only impressionist I can tolerate is Claude Monet.

(Disclaimer and rules)

[team-dxybreak]

Sol is now laughing hysterically!

🌙— “Kyogre lost with a single grass knot,” Sol yelled, laughing herself out of breath. “Bwahahaha!!! Oh man, I can’t breathe!! Seemed that didn’t go as planned!! Ahaha!!”