#ALSO THOSE CHICKENS ARE HYSTERICAL

[sillyandquest]

Y'all know the cardboard cutouts in Poppy Playtime?

I like to think that they're a small glimpse in those characters personalities, and what they would've been like if we'd been able to interact with them in-game. The cutouts also seem to indicate the sanity level of each Smiling Critter.

This'll be a long one, I'll see you at the end of you wanna read!

Spoilers:

Anyway, that means Bubba Bubbafant would've been outwardly friendly, yet still resentful of the player. He also might've been losing his sanity quickly, probably due to CatNap's gas.

"Hey! I remember you!.....An elephant always remembers!.......Want to know what I remember about you?........*Devolves into hysterical laughter/screams/glitches.*"

Had he been in the game as a Bigger Body experiment, I doubt he would go out of his way to help. He might've just hidden himself away like Kissy and Poppy, or fully lost it before he could try to help the player and got killed off.

Next is Kickin' Chicken. He's different in that he seems like he would've provided encouragement to the player, maybe even try and protect them.

"Wanna go outside and hang out?.... I've never been outside before.........Will you come with me? I'm scared.......Here, I'll step out first......*screams/glitches.*"

He also seems to have been killed off early, maybe he was even the first Critter to be killed. (He's embracing his inner Chica now-). I say this because, aside from DogDay, Kickin' Chicken seems the most sane in comparison to all the Critters.

CatNap's cut out doesn't have much other than breathing noises and snores that devolve into glitches.

Picky Piggy sounds sane, but I think she probably ate some of the other Critters. Probably Bubba Bubbafant, Kickin' Chicken, and Crafty Corn. If she could interact with the player, I think she'd be friendly at first before showing her true colors.

"Roast beef? Delicious!......Grilled chicken? Down the hatch!......Seared Elephant! Yum!......Flayed Unicorn? Mmmmm!.......Still hungry.....Hey, what do ya say you and I be friends?"

She definitely wouldn't have been helpful, and would've absolutely tried to eat the player.

I think Hoppy Hopscotch could've tried to help as a Bigger Body experiment, maybe a little pushy and impatient towards the player. Probably because she's desperate to escape.

"Wanna try hopping to the moon with me?.....On three with me!....1, 2, 3!...Heh, didn't get very far, did we?.....Listen, this won't stop until we make it to the moon!.....1, 2- No,no, don't look at your feet! None of that matters! Again! Again!.....Jump! JUUUU- *glitches out*"

She seemed to have a good heart and wanted to help but was likely taken out while escaping. I'd call her sane enough to be trusted, just desperate.

DogDay is certified best boy and definitely would've wanted to help you, even at the cost of his life/freedom. He knows this is a terrible place to be in and wants the player to leave as soon as possible.

"Go, go! As far as you can!......Why are you just standing there?.....You can't be here, you can't stay......*screams/glitches.*"

He knows he can't leave and encouraged the player go. He sounds sad when he speaks. Would likely be the last Critter to stick by the players side no matter what.

Crafty Corn up next! She seems very focused on painting and almost definitely killed someone because she was out of red.

"Pass me the blue please!.....Thanks! Now can you give me some red?.....Out? But we can't be out..... You're hiding more red from me......I know you are.....GIVE IT HERE *glitchy screams*

Yeah, I wouldn't really trust her. She'd be fine by herself or if the player gives her all the materials she asks for, but Crafty would've probably gotten agitated and attacked quickly.

Finally, Bobby Bearhug! She comes across as super loving, but also clingy and desperate for an escape. Sounding a little unhinged at times. If the player could've interacted with her, she might've clung to them, possibly even protected them if they convinced her that she could go with them.

"I love you to the moon and back!..... I'm crazy about you!.....I'm lost without you.....I've been lost a long time......Please, take me with you this time?.....You won't leave me, will you?!."

She sounds like she's lonely and craves companionship. Her cutout is actually the only one that doesn't end in glitches or screams so I think the player could've trusted her. She might've had a fragile mental state, but I don't think she would've tried to kill you.

Thanks for reading til the end! Stay safe!

[treedaddymcpuffpuff]

imagine… julian mercer x fem reader ; tw(blood, fear, nsfw), dr julian is not what he seems. chase gif by @scarlettspectra

on a lovely getaway to a very secluded cabin in the mountains.

you get inside, marveling and cooing about the woody fresh bookcase that seems to be stocked with all your favorite reads, the sprawling kitchen with the skylight that illuminates the cozy boho theme—he’s even bought some new plants for you, and no doubt the fridge is prepared with chicken and cream and fresh veggies so he can conjure a delicious meal tonight with those magic hands.

your boyfriend is just short of a saint. holds doors open, cooks and cleans, carries both suitcases, takes your strappy sandals off for you and places them by the doorway. the just short part entails the way he fucks, or rather the way he prefers to have you while fucking. you’re starting to really like it, though, being tied up to his bed and at his total mercy even if maybe he bites or smacks or pinches too hard sometimes.

“what would you like to do, darling?” he asks, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind and kissing the top of your head. “we could watch a spooky movie, go for a hike, take a bath, hm?”

you giggle at him, and it feels strange in your throat. not because it’s not genuine, but because before him you weren’t such a girlish, blushing idiot. of course, before him you genuinely also thought you could win a fight. but when he’s pinning you down effortlessly with one big hand wrapped around both your wrists, it’s hard to keep that confidence hot.

“let’s watch a creepy movie,” you suggest. “not too scary, though.”

“oh, honey,” he coos, playfully nipping at your cartilage. “i’ll protect you from the monsters.”

“you promise?” you ask, batting your eyelashes at him, playing along. “you won’t let them eat me?”

“the only monster that’s going to be eating you is me,” he grumbles against your hairline, somehow encapsulating soothing and terrifying with his voice all at once. shivers pimple over your skin, and he laughs at the squirming you don’t realize you’re doing.

seems he likes that idea—eating you—because his teeth gnash the air right above your jugular, and for some reason you have the vivid vision of him ripping it out of your neck and juicy red blood spurting over the polished oak walls.

you push him away, laughing nervously, backing up towards the couch. “julian, we just got here.”

he takes a long minute to roll the sleeves of his crisp button down up, putting on a show with those beautiful thick forearms. “you’re right,” he says, his eyes shiny black, wet and hungry. “how silly of me, to forget that it needs to be christened properly.”

“j-julian,” you warn through bubbling nervous giggles, hand up in front of you in flimsy self defense. too slow, too late. he’s inching forward, eyes narrowed, sly cat grin sitting so sinisterly on his handsome face.

he lets you get to the bed before he tackles you, those long legs tangling with yours, his hips pressing you down into the give of the pillowy mattress.

hysterical laughter screams and dies in your throat, paving way for little breathy whines and huffs when he pins your hands up above your head. “oh, come on.”

“i plan to,” he muses, sizing you up, “just where is the question.” he pretends to look at your for a minute and really think about it, eyes taking in everywhere from your painted toes to your pretty puffed cheeks. “hmm, what do you think honey? maybe your tits? or perhaps the soft little tummy she tries to hide from me—oh no, don’t you pout…you want me to bruise your ass or cum on it?”

“julian,” you admonish, eyes unable to keep his own as such filthy words roll off his posh tongue.

“oh,” he murmurs, pitch dropping your heart into your stomach. “i think i have a better idea.”

you look back at him, and his grin has flipped on a sharp axis. his face is strangely calm, eyes wide and unblinking, matte black. you worry for a minute that you’ve fallen into some mirror world, some upside down alternate reality where your boyfriend has turned into a statue that will keep you pinned on this bed until your heart beats it’s finale and your body rots to bone.

when your friends and family used to balk about your overactive imagination, they were never really wrong. that’s why you can’t trust yourself when you get too afraid of julian, when you start thinking he’s not so nice—because he is, and he’s never done anything to prove you wrong. jesus, the poor guy just can’t catch a break around you.

julian begins operating again, like someone slipped a coin into his slot, face starting in a slow upturn that hastens your heartbeat. he tilts his head at you, and it would look adorable in another circumstance.

no, you’re being ridiculous. julian is your boyfriend, probably the love of your life, if you’re being honest. he’s perfect. a man that could have been a famous actor, with women throwing themselves at his feet, and playgirl magazine begging him for a front cover spread. instead, he chose to help people, get his hands dirty and become one of the best doctors on long island’s golden coast. so what, he likes kinky shit. we all have our vices.

“we should play a game,” he suggests. you feel him shaking on top of you, and quickly realize it’s because he’s excited, adrenalized, giddy.

eager to please, you smile timidly. “oh yeah?”

“hide and seek,” he tells you, leaning down to lay a soft kiss on your top lip. “make our own little horror flick—x rated, of course.”

“who’s hiding and who’s seeking?” you ask.

he chuckles, and it ties your belly up in knots. your brain doesn’t know whether to be scared or turned on, so it settles for a torturous mixture of both. “noes goes.”

he keeps both your wrists pinned above your head with one of his hands while he touches his index finger to his own perfect nose. “looks like you’re hiding.”

“jerk!” you laugh, squirming under him. “and what do I get if I win, huh?”

“when i win,” he teases, running his pointer across the goose flesh on your collar. “i get to do what i want to you, whatever i want.”

“and if i win?” you ask.

his smile widens just a little too much at that silly notion. “same deal.”

getting to tie him up and pay him back for some of the wicked things he’s done to you doesn’t sound too bad, and you did excel at this game as a kid…

“deal,” you say.

tbc…

this is all thanks to @johnwickb1tsch and @sweetwolfcupcake for being diabolical gremlins. please, anyone feel free to continue… 😈

[feddy-34]

In Fred/Brock omegaverse how many kids do you think they have? Any headcannons about pregnant Brock and how Fred reacts to it?

listen.

i know i said in a prev ask that canon (feels like the wrong word to use lol) fred/brock aren't having any kids but like. cmon. if fred could get brock pregnant theyre having as many as possible pls😭

some people were just made to be mothers and brock is one of those people. i have zero doubts about this. i think they have their first kid unintentionally while theyre both playing and the rest after they retire cuz yeah brock could make it back into nfl shape after one pregnancy but he is not doing that again💀they r having seven in total cuz fred heard about what felipe rios was up to and decided he wanted to try and catch up. and cuz brock just looks so pretty pregnant yk🥰

cuz this is omegaverse the first indication of pregnancy is probably a change in scent and fred can always catch it before brock does cuz he just Knows. although they were both surprised by the first one. it's a bit harder to notice the change in scent when brock's also covered with the entirety of the locker room's scent too vs when theyre both retired. and like fred is normally very ‼️about brock but he gets extra 👹when brock is pregnant cuz thats his babygirl carrying his child of course he's gonna go feral he gets soooooo protective of brock, not letting another alpha even get close, much less lay a hand on him. and brock is building so so so many nests during this time, like normally he would only nest when he's really upset or when fred is needing some comfort but now when he's pregnant he's feeling the urge to nest all the time

always bundled up in one of fred's hoodies that he swaps out for another when they start to lose his scent, covered in soft blankets, eyes all warm as he purrs up a storm and fred is thissssssss close to just jumping his bones or breaking down in tears. usually both. i also think he would have some. interesting cravings. lots of lengua tacos. he gets wet allllll the time now like literally when fred does anything. has to control himself when he's got the headset standing on the sideline not to jump all over fred right there when he makes a great tackle. he's also much more emotional than normally, like brock is usually a very even keeled person and bc he's an omega quarterback he's used to masking what he feels to not be labeled hysterical or anything. but when he's pregnant he cries so easily🥺and it's over silly things like fred forgetting to defrost the chicken or take out the trash lmaoooooo

[whump-cravings]

D&D Whumpee: Fizlei Delrem

[id: A woman with short dark brown hair, olive skin, brown eyes, hairy forearms, a straight nose, and a wispy beard. He wears gray high-waisted ladies' pants with suspenders, a belt with a gun holster, and a button-up shirt with its sleeves rolled to the elbows. He points a revolver off to the side with a confident smile. /end id]

(btw those are him titties, not buff pecs)

Fiz (he/she) is a 27 year old intersex demiwoman and an arcane gunman ranger (homebrew subclass).

Fiz flirts and shoots his way through the world with confidence and ease, seldom giving any part of himself away while briefly appearing in others' lives. Everyone is a friend or potential bedmate to this gal—even those on the other side of his guns. Very few things seem to ruffle his feathers, and his charms make it difficult to dislike him.

Once upon a time, the mask of the cowboy Casanova was just that—a façade. But after spending so long this way, Fiz can't be sure anything's beneath it anymore.

—

Roughly 17 years ago, at a little farmhouse in the Dhorosian countryside, Fiz's parents and siblings were consumed one by one by an ooze-type monster. Upon locating Fiz, the last and youngest of the family, it did something decidedly strange—it took on the forms and personas of her family members, attempting to comfort her.

Fiz tried telling neighbors what had happened, but the hysterics of a 10 year old girl are easily dismissed. Those who briefly followed up to allay the girl's fears found no evidence of anything amiss—all the Delrem family members were present, healthy, and able to recount past experiences. The Thing as her parents would apologize and comment on how Fiz was upset with them—"You know how girls can be at that age," it would say with a rueful shake of Ma's head.

[id: 10 sketched portraits of a family of two parents, seven kids of varying marked aged, and a daughter-in-law /end id]

While the aberration's mimicry was flawless, it made no attempt to conceal its nature from Fiz, denying her the chance to pretend everything had been a nightmare.

—

So she ran away.

Unfortunately, Fiz has remarkably poor luck and ran straight into the den of a different monster that eats people. She was placed in its living larder with other unfortunate souls who had wandered into its clutches.

Fortunately(?), Fiz had something scarier following her. The Thing swooped in and kicked the other monster's ass, slurping it—and the other victims—up. It scooped Fiz up, chiding her for leaving home. "The world is much too dangerous for you," it said as Pa, carrying the traumatized girl home. As it patched up her injuries, it found it was able to take on recent memories from ingesting a little blood.

From there, it was careful to keep a better eye on her for a while, and Fiz learned to keep to herself.

—

At 14, she ran away and kept running for a long while, until one morning she was so desperately hungry that she snuck into a chicken coop for eggs. The rooster kicked up a fuss and the farmer (butch he/him lesbian, unnamed) rolled out of bed with a shotgun, only to find a crying girl cornered in the coop, surrounded by broken eggs.

So he (pretending to be gruff and not like he was pitying her) was like, "You gotta pay me back, so come in here and eat so you got energy to work," and brought her inside, where she met the farmer's similar-age daughter, Amara.

Over the course of a summer, Fiz and Amara grew close and well. your honor it started with the hayloft a-creakin. And life was good.

[id: two sketched busts, one of a dark skinned human woman with short-cropped curly black hair and a shotgun, labeled 'Butch lesbian farmer'; and one of a girl with moth antennae, straight black hair in a bob, and monolid eyes, labeled 'Amara?' /end id]

(this was also the point in Fiz's life where she learned she could use whatever pronouns she wanted) (and also found out that she's intersex probably)

Until it caught up.

The sound brought Amara running. And. And yeah they were added to the victim count. and the Thing (also known as "the parent") dragged the heartbroken, kicking and screaming Fiz back home.

[id: a speech bubble reads "So this is where you were," above a drawing of teenage Fiz staring wide-eyed at the viewer. Her hair is in pigtails and her little beard hairs have just started to grow in. "No... You can't—how are you here?" Fiz says, horrified. The other speech bubbles continue, "Took me a while, but I finally tracked you down. You're a clever girl, Fiz, but I have my own resources." /End id]

Farmer lady sensed the disturbance and once again came out with his shotgun, and tried to protect Fiz who was practically a second daughter by now. He got a shotgun blast on it... which only made it mad.

—

Now, the Thing's mimicry becomes outdated after a while—it can't replicate aging and growth. So between non-aging siblings and the increasingly sullen teenage Fiz, neighbors began to catch on that something was indeed wrong. When approached, Fiz told them to mind their own business. Some listened, some didn't, but the Thing parent found out in every case, one way or the other (overt suspicion or something in Fiz's memories tipping it off). Consequently, those neighbors mysteriously disappeared (eaten).

Eventually the entire surrounding population caught on and showed up on the Delrem's doorstep with pitchforks, torches, the like. Fiz begged the Thing to spare them, begged them to leave. but of course that didn't work.

The morning after, all the houses in that part of the countryside were empty.

The Parent moved itself and Fiz far away.

There were rules to running away, each learned at the cost of freedom or someone's life.

—

The Parent always finds Fiz. Sometimes sooner, sometimes later, but always eventually. When it does, it learns everything Fiz has said and done (via his blood).

If Fiz resists returning home once it shows itself to him, the strictness/severity of his 'grounding' increases.

Fiz is not allowed to tell people about the Parent or let anyone become too concerned about his situation.

Fiz is not allowed to have lasting relationships.

(There's also been times where he was thrown into jail for something he may or may not have done and then the jailers got eaten, so Fiz is wanted in several places for murder.)

—

He remembers the last time he fought back.

7 years ago, a young child needed help reaching safety, and Fiz got them there. The details aren't important, but the situation got Fiz thinking on how he would never be able to have a family of his own if things kept on the way they were.

—

Dhoros, his home country, wasn't particularly rich in sellswords, but Fiz hired the ones he could find.

Even with Fiz's aid, they stood no chance. When the confrontation came, the others were wiped out in under a minute, dealing little damage. Fiz emptied the chambers of his guns into the Thing to little avail, and fell back to striking it with his whip until it pinned him and ripped his weapons away.

"Fizlei Delrem," it reprimanded as Pa. "Is this how I raised you, to be hangin' out with folks that'd get you to attack your own family? ... Maybe I ain't been tough enough on you."

Before it took Fiz and left, it caught a few hiding kids who had witnessed the fight. Fiz could do nothing as it ruthlessly subsumed them. "I didn't like doin' that, Fiz, but you forced me to."

It dragged the struggling Fiz every step of the way home that time, binding him in chains and refusing to let him out until he saw reason.

Fiz made peace with his lot in life.

He let go of his anger, buried his grief, forgot his dreams, and made himself content with the meager freedoms allotted to him.

If all he could have was a pretense of connection when between the sheets, then that was what he would have.

If all he had to do was play nice to placate his parent, he would fawn for it.

If all he could do was enjoy the time spent out in the world, that was what he would do.

If all the bridges he could cross had to burn behind him, he would light each fire.

—

@nabanna @acecasinova @flat-san @emcscared-whumps @jblockman1

[heavensbeehall]

More about the other victors & chapter 16

They're a little strange, but I'm pretty sure neither of them is going to try to make me uncomfortable by stripping naked.

Again, Katniss is not a sexual being yet. She is most comfortable with Beetee, Wiress and Mags because she understands those type of relationships. Also the three of them are awsome.

I glance around the Training Center. Peeta is at the center of a ribald circle of knife throwers. The morphlings from District 6 are in the camouflage station, painting each other's faces with bright pink swirls. The male tribute from District 5 is vomiting wine on the swordfighting floor. Finnick and the old woman from his district are using the archery station. Johanna Mason is naked again and oiling her skin down for a wrestling lesson. I decide to stay put.

Peeta is much better with people, all kinds of people. Katniss doesn't know what to do with naked people. So she stays with the nerds.

I want to know what Finnick and Mags talk about at the archery station.

I feel bad, knowing that their district must have suffered much worse than ours. I feel I need to defend my people.

Here's a chicken or the egg question. Are the victors from 3 and 4 rebels because their districts are rebellious. Or are the districts rebellious because their victors are?

Plutarch Heavensbee in the magnificent purple robe with the fur-trimmed collar that designates him as Head Gamemaker. He's eating a turkey leg.

I don't know why I find it hilarious that he's eating a turkey leg, but I do. I am imagining one of those rlly big ones from fairs and stuff.

When we make our way into the dining area, I see some of Peeta's gang have other ideas. They're dragging all the smaller tables to form one large table so that we all have to eat together. Now I don't know what to do. Even at school I used to avoid eating at a crowded table. Frankly, I'd probably have sat alone if Madge hadn't made a habit of joining me.

I wonder whose idea this was. I suspect Chaff. But we can see some of the school versions of Katniss and Peeta. He was always with a group from the town kids. She prefers to be alone.

Chaff doesn't seem as bad at lunch. He's sober, and while he talks too loud and makes bad jokes a lot, most of them are at his own expense. I can see why he would be good for Haymitch, whose thoughts run so darkly. But I'm still not sure I'm ready to team up with him.

This description of Chaff reminds me of my dad. He's a people-person and feels the need to entertain everyone all the time. (It can be exhausting and I can see why someone as introverted and inhibited as Katniss would be put off.) But the fact that he makes an effort to seek out Haymitch--who pushes everyone away--makes me love him. You know Haymitch says mean stuff to him and he just laughs it off.

After lunch I do the edible-insect station with the District 8 tributes--Cecelia, who's got three kids at home, and Woof, a really old guy who's hard of hearing and doesn't seem to know what's going on since he keeps trying to stuff poisonous bugs in his mouth.

I think Woof knows exactly what he's doing when he puts poisonous bugs in his mouth.

Finnick appears again when I'm picking up fishing tips, but mostly just to introduce me to Mags, the elderly woman who's also from District 4. Between her district accent and her garbled speech--possibly she's had a stroke-- I can't make out more than one in four words. But I swear she can make a decent fishhook out of anything--a thorn, a wishbone, an earring. After a while I tune out the trainer and simply try to copy whatever Mags does. When I make a pretty good hook out of a bent nail and fasten it to some strands of my hair, she gives me a toothless smile and an unintelligible comment I think might be praise. Suddenly I remember how she volunteered to replace the young, hysterical woman in her district. It couldn't be because she thought she had any chance of winning. She did it to save the girl, just like I volunteered last year to save Prim. And I decide I want her on my team.

Do we thinks Mags did have a stroke? I have a headcanon that she's had a speech impediment her whole life but that's just in the imaginary Mags story I write in my head.

In fact, I feel as if I've somehow been initiated into the victors' circle. During the next two days, I spend time with almost everybody headed for the arena. Even the morphlings, who, with Peeta's help, paint me into a field of yellow flowers.

Yellow flowers again.

Mags, who I can understand a little better now, decides she's just going to take a nap.

Queen shit. I love Mags.

[summ3rg4l]

May I request a platonic x reader for Kyle and Ike (or just Kyle) with a cousin reader who has Chunibyo but is still very loving and kind?

I had to look up what that was so I apologize if it’s not what you wanted. But it’s givinggg kaidou (I think) so I based reader off that also you didn’t specify the gender so I made reader a girl

CW: swearing and racist jokes (Jewish)

Kyle is nine in this, reader is in high school and Ike is 5

I was originally gonna add more of Ike but I had already wrote most of it (at literary 1 AM) and the copy and past was being a little bitch

Your aunt Sheila drops you off at her house to stay for the week since your parents are busy. You get out the car to be greeted by your little cousins Kyle and Ike running up to you hugging your legs “Why hello there my minions.” You say confidently making your voice a bit deeper to sound more intimidating while smirking. The laugh at you not taking you seriously “What are you laughing at! If you don’t stop now I’ll have to use my secret power on you two.”

You put your arm up to scare them into submission showing off where your power is hiden. You laugh ‘evilly’ “Oh (name) dear, I hate to interrupt you playing with the boys but can you help me with dinner? Gerald isn’t here right now.” Sheila walks outside with a few groceries in her hands “Ye-yes mam.” You give Ike and Kyle one last look before you walk into the house.

“Minions! Dinner is ready.” You bust into Kyles room to alert them of the food being done. They get up from the spot they were playing in and walk downstairs to the table. “Hey (name) can you walk with me to the bus stop tomorrow?” Kyle asks you with his mouth of knishes some of it falling out. “Sure min— Kyle I’d love to walk you to school.” You smile as innocently as possible to get Aunt Sheila off your trail ‘Whew I almost let my secret identity out.’ You think to yourself mentally sweating.

The next day you hold Kyles hand as you walk down the road to drop him off at the bus stop. You see three other boys standing there, one of them has a blue hat with red poof ball and black hair, another one is fat and has a teal hat with a yellow poof ball, the last one is wearing an orange parka. ‘Hm what an interesting group of kids..they better not mess with my minion or they’ll live to regret it.’ You stare at the boys suspiciously “Uh (name) why did you stop walking..?” Kyle looks up at you confused. You just stand there in silence having internal dialogue. Kyle lets go of your hand and walks over to his friends.

It takes a while for you to actually notice. Your eyes widen once you do and you run over to where Kyle went “Minion! You shouldn’t run off like that, what if I’m not there to protect you!” You look at Kyle angrily. The fat kid starts to laugh  hysterically “BAHAHAH MINION!? GOD JEWS ARE SO WEIRD DUDE!” You stare at the kid for a second absolutely shocked that he said that. You’ve never encountered a person that was this openly racist. “Shut up fat ass!” Kyle yells at the fat boy angrily. His voice brings you back to reality.

The boy continues to laugh loudly “Hey little fat ass boy.” Your voice stops sounding so ‘anime’ like when you talk now. The kid stops laughing and looks at you “If I hear one more thing like that from you, your mom won’t be able to recognize you and you won’t be able to eat solid foods ever again. I bet that makes you real sad huh, you won’t be able to eat all those cheese puffs and fried chicken. How sad.” The boys (including Kyle) look at you silently. You obviously shocked and maybe scared them a little bit.

The school bus pulls up to where we all are “That’s for you guys. Have a nice day at school minion.” The boys silently get on the bus and you hear the fat boy mutter s quiet ‘weak’ before the doors close.

…

…

…

Waiting for something to happen?

[dlrconlicense]

Louise Brealey On Starring In BBC Three’s Upcoming Comedy Such Brave Girls

Such Brave Girls will arrive on BBC iPlayer on 22 November

By Olivia Emily | 3 days ago

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Louise Brealey is perhaps best known for her witty portrayal of lovelorn morgue technician Molly Hooper in Sherlock – but we’re loving her recent comedy work even more. She’ll next be seen in the BBC‘s hotly anticipated comedy Such Brave Girls, coming later this month. Written by Kate Sadler, Louise plays Deb, the matriarch of a dysfunctional family, trying and failing to keep her kamikaze daughters from disaster. We sat down with Louise to hear all about it.

Interview: Louise Brealey

© Leo Staar

Hi Louise, how’s life going at the moment?

Hello! It’s been a busy summer – my new film has been doing the festival circuit so there have been a lot of planes, trains and automobiles.

You’re about to star in BBC’s new series Such Brave Girls – can you give us an elevator pitch for the show?

Two messed-up twenty-something (real-life) sisters [Kat Sadler and Lizzie Davidson] and their total car crash of a mother attempt to navigate their way out of disaster and into love.

You play Deb – can you describe her?

Deb is amazing. She’s a shockingly bad mum who has completely messed up her two Gen Z daughters. I think of her as one of those vending machines at railway stations and swimming pools where you can get a Twix, but all that’s on her shelves is Tough Love.

What was it like playing her?

A terrifying hoot – she has a lot of lines.

How did you get into character/prepare for the role?

I based Deb on a little girl I used to know. You could see every emotion on her face. Guile, rage, confusion, fear. When she was cross, she scowled. When she was delighted, she beamed.

I used my real accent: Northamptonshire. It has softened over the years, so I sound a lot posher now, but it’s how my family speak and I’ve never had the chance to work using it.

Any funny stories from rehearsals or filming?

The scenes requiring our amazing intimacy coordinator, Elle McAlpine, were hysterically funny and genuinely not at all awkward. Poor Paul Bazely who plays Dev may have experienced some chafing.

What is the cast dynamic? Who was your favourite person to work with?

We are like a little family when we are filming. I feel very protective of Kat and Lizzie. And Paul is a wonderful human being and a phenomenal actor.

Are you still in touch with any of your co-stars?

Yes, we message all the time.

Josie (KAT SADLER), Deb (LOUISE BREALEY), Billie (LIZZIE DAVIDSON) in Such Brave Girls. © BBC/Various Artists Limited/James Stack

You’re perhaps best known for your role as Molly in Sherlock. What is that like to look back on?

Bittersweet because I don’t feel we finished it, and we have lost Una Stubbs. But it was incredible to be a part of what was really a phenomenon. It couldn’t happen now with streaming.

Any special memories from the show?

Too many. Having a candle in an egg custard tart (my favourite) on my birthday in Benedict’s trailer… Laughing and laughing with darling Una and Rupert Graves, who is a dreamboat.

You’ve also starred in the likes of Lockwood & Co, Brian and Charles and Back recently. But what has been your favourite project to date?

I loved working on Clique for the BBC a few years back. I got to play a hard-ass Queen Bee university lecturer in power suits who was afraid of no one, and then to completely fall apart. In an Edinburgh accent.

I loved Lockwood & Co. How does it feel for the show to be cancelled after just one series?

I felt so bad for the young cast, the crew, the fans and everyone whose livelihoods depended on the show coming back. It got such fantastic reviews and great viewing figures. I feel like the hoop it had to jump through for the streamer was just too impossibly small.

Any roles in the pipeline that you’re excited about? (If you’re allowed to tell us!)

I’m the lead in a lesbian chicken factory musical film called Chuck Chuck Baby.

Who has been your favourite actor to work with in the past?

This is much too hard. There have been so many that I admired, and some I now call dear friends. But my buddy Jeff Rawle I’ve worked with three times now, and we are trying to make it a fourth.

Which co-star did you learn the most from?

Antonia Pemberton, who played Nanny in Peter Hall’s Uncle Vanya when I was Sonya. She told me not to keep tomatoes in the fridge.

What’s your dream role?

I’m desperate to get back on stage. I’ve been doing film and television for the past seven years, but theatre is my heart and my home.

What’s a genre you’d like to do more of?

I’d like a good horror. I can’t watch them because I’m a scaredy-cat, but I’d love to be in one.

© Leo Staar

Do you get to spend much time at home?

Not enough. I’ve been gadding about.

Do you live in the town or the country? Which do you prefer?

I’ve lived in London since I left university. I live on a hill next to an oak tree, so it feels like we are in the branches. I can never leave London because I’d miss the culture stuff, but I am a woodland creature.

What’s your interior design style?

A mish-mash of old things I’ve found in auctions. Too many books.

How do you find balance in your personal and work lives?

I don’t.

What did you want to be when you were growing up?

An astronaut.

If you could give advice to your 15-year-old self, what would it be?

Don’t sleep with that guy’s flatmate when you are 21.

How can we all live a little bit better?

Choose love.

Anything fun in the pipeline – professionally or personally?

I’m going to run away to a southern European city for January and February to write.

Quick Fire

I’m currently watching… Only Murders in the Building

What I’m reading… We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson

The last thing I watched (and loved) was… Silo. I love Rebecca Ferguson.

What I’m most looking forward to seeing… The Motive and the Cue with Mark Gatiss in the West End because I was away for its National Theatre run.

Favourite film of all time… Don’t Look Now

Favourite song of all time… ‘Disco 2000’ by Pulp

Band/singer I always have on repeat… Leonard Cohen

My ultimate cultural recommendation… Join all the museums and galleries

Cultural guilty pleasure… Overcooked 2. It’s computer game where you run around and try to make kebabs.

What’s next for me is… Walking my dog in Beckenham Place Park – it’s south London’s secret mini Hampstead Heath.

Watch

Louise Brealey stars in Such Brave Girls, on BBC iPlayer from 22 November. bbc.co.uk

[aihoshiino]

whats your favourite thing about each of the onk characters?

As a person with ADHD I am ontologically incapable of picking Just One Thing but I'll do my best!!

Ai: oh my god she melts my brain too much to pick just one thing!!! If you really put a gun to my head though I would have to say her warm, persistent kindness in the face of a life that has often been abnormally cruel to her. She always goes out of her way to be kind to people even when it has absolutely no benefit to her, just because Ai is a deeply kind person that even abuse and neglect couldn't tarnish. She understands loneliness and abandonment to such a deep degree that even when she can't exactly understand the ins and outs of why or how other people feel the way they feel, when she sees people suffering or in pain, her instinctive response is to reach out to them and try and make sure they feel heard even if she can't actually do anything to ease their pain. For all the BS she says about calling herself cynical, people hating and all the rest of it, Ai is such a deeply and actively kind person to such an incredible degree.

Also her fangies. Can't forget the fangies.

Aqua: Aqua Hoshino Is The Funniest Guy In Oshi No Ko And He Doesn't Even Know It. This sort of falls under the more serious header that is the cavernous gap between Aqua's stated goals and intentions and the reality of his actual feelings that often slips out via his actions but more specifically I'm obsessed with the hysterical comedic gap that is Aqua larping as Light Yagami during season 1 of Love Live. Like ugh yeah I have to kill my dad but what am I gonna do, NOT wear matching TWINS tshirts with my sister? Or shit like him being the one to go and get his copy of Sweet Today and start paging through it while Ruby and Miyako watch it and then immediately tattling to Kana that Ruby talked shit even though he toooootally doesn't care you guys :/// Mfer dressed up like a buff chicken and did a squeaky voice for a week because he can't handle having a crush on Kana!!! HE'S THE FUNNIEST GUY IN THIS WHOLE SHOW AND NOBODY UNDERSTANDS Ruby: The way Ruby's history as Sarina - or I guess more specifically, as a person who grew up both disabled and under a toxic mother - informs her zest and energy is soooooo sweet and tender to me, but especially in the ways in informs her deep, deep love for Ai as her mother. The inheritance of Sarina's despair and its transition into Ruby's joy and empowerment is such an incredible and powerful beat - I watched episode 1 with a friend last night (hi Silvie!) and the scene of Ruby realizing that she no longer lives in a body at risk of betraying her at any moment and that she has a mother who loves her and values her happiness and positive growth over all else is still one of the most powerful scenes in the whole story for me. The way that realization of euphoria and power continues to form the foundations of her arc going forward is a big part of why the first stretch of the manga is still the strongest material to me.

Kana: my little failgirl <3 Kana is another one of those characters where I could say a lot of deep and introspective things about her incredible resilience, her intelligence and determination and the way she continues to try and make herself big in a world that has only ever operated by making her feel small but the truth in my heart is just that I think she is the funniest bitch on the planet. If Aqua did not exist she would take the crown as Funniest Character In Oshi No Ko. The consistency with which she takes Ls and gets fed her own hair emotionally speaking (UH AND LITERALLY I GUESS BECAUSE I WROTE THAT JOKE AND THEN REMEMBERED THAT SCENE WITH THE DIRECTOR) just really gets under my guard and makes me fucking lose it every time it happens. I'm a simple guy, ok? Memcho: Mem being a woman in her early 20s and the perspective and emotional intelligence that comes with that experience, especially when contrasted with the teens, is soooooo fascinating to me. In general it's just really refreshing to see a girlie in her mid 20s in an anime still being portrayed as just as fun and cute and silly and energetic as the teens; anime in general has a really bad habit of having two ages which are Teen and Middle Aged Adult but Mem just feels like an actual person in her mid 20s which is SUCH a nice change. I also just think that, like I said, the way her emotional intelligence contrasts the kids who are still going the fuck through it as teens experiencing huge, fucked up emotions for the first time in their almost-adult lives; Mem's a lot smarter and sharper than folks give her credit for and it's always so interesting to see her snap into 'adult in the room' mode. The fact that this doesn't at all interfere with her friendship with Kana and Ruby is also really sweet - I actually do not remember ever seeing one of these age gap friendships in an anime that didn't come with some weird maternal overtones but the way B-Komachi's friendship kind of supersedes and makes their age gap a non-factor really reminds me of my own friendships like that - both when I was Ruby's age and had older folks looking out for me and now that I'm Mem's age and some of my besties from my real life DND group are babies LMFAO

Akane: The way OnK portrays Akane's acting technique is really fascinating to me! This is maybe a bit of a silly comparison to draw but I find that I weirdly relate to Akane and the way she portrays characters because I've been doing some form of online text roleplay or another since I was licherally 11 years old and the way she talks about like... sewing up internal inconsistencies and reverse engineering a character's thoughts, feelings and general worldview from their portrayed actions, making connections between aspects of their character that may be unstated by the text but make your portrayal cohere and feel richer and more vibrant. This is literally exactly the way I handle writing canon characters right down to the unhinged canon review, to the point that it is a running gag between me and my friends that Akane's serial killer ass Ai research session is Literally Just Me when I'm doing my Oshi no Ko canon review. It's about the weirdest and most unexpected way I have ever felt represented by a piece of media LOL Miyako: The absolute character development W this woman had!!! Admittedly I feel like the glowup is only so strong because Aka clearly had a very different Miyako in his brain when he started writing Oshi no Ko vs the one she actually became but I still absolutely love the ways Miyako grows over the series and how smart, competent and fiercely driven she is when given a reason to motivate herself. I don't have a huge to to say about Miyako just because she so effortlessly speaks for herself but God I Love Her. Ichigo: i just love it when a guy is a faildad to a fucked up teenage girl There we go! Admittedly this wasn't Everyone and I mostly just stuck to the main cast I had strong enough opinions about to voice but! If you're ever curious about what I think about someone in the extended cast, please do feel free to drop me some asks and prod me for my thoughts!

[ratuszarsenal]

the fact that stevenson laboured to reproduce alan breck's appearance from 18th century documents but specifically diverted from those accounts to make him a short king. hysterical

for curious fellows here are some of the descriptions that stevenson apparently would have worked with:

I also want to highlight this fragment which I found to be a very sweet thing for fanny stevenson to mention:

One day, while my husband was busily at work, I sat beside him reading an old cookery book called The Compleat Housewife: or Accomplish’d Gentlewoman’s Companion. In the midst of receipts for “Rabbits, and Chickens mumbled, Pickled Samphire, Skirret Pye, Baked Tansy,” and other forgotten delicacies, there were directions for the preparation of several lotions for the preservation of beauty. One of these was so charming that I interrupted my husband to read it aloud. “Just what I wanted!” he exclaimed; and the receipt for the “Lily of the Valley Water” was instantly incorporated into Kidnapped.

made all the funnier by the fact that apparently that recipe was "just what he wanted" with an exclamation mark and yet it literally does not show up anywhere in the book after its introduction. stevenson literally just liked how the checkov's gun looked like on the wall. no firing necessary

[theresa-of-liechtenstein]

well that certainly was one fever dream of a sunday night rehearsal slash orchestra dinner

decided to wait a bit before walking in early so as not to look too eager but walked in and all the chairs and stands had been set up by other people. which was a little disappointing as i had said i’d help with those

ate dean came inside the rehearsal room wearing jeans as i was standing in the back shooting the shit with concertmaster and viola friend and i said aloud ‘i don’t think i’ve seen ate dean in jeans before’ and concertmaster took one look and doubled over in hysterics

we had a full brass and percussion section today and by god i was hearing shrimp notes. it was great

tita conductor asked the violins to bring out something and i swear she gave me the most cartoon character ass look of pure excitement i have ever seen

seconds have a brief limelight moment under divisi in the midcentury jesus fanfic christmas opera suite and i chickened out midway through because i thought i got the rhythm wrong in the first part and tita conductor stopped us and said ‘outside seconds this is your time to shine’ and i mouthed ‘sorry’ up at her and she gave me one of her conciliatory smiles and got us started again

tita conductor referred to a sonata-form coda at one point in the first movement of dvořák 8 but someone in the brass thought she was talking about an actual marked coda so they yelled tita conductor’s surname from the back of the room to get her attention and clarify it. she didn’t mind it but everyone lost their minds because none of us would ever think to call her anything other than dr. titaconductorlastname

tita conductor asked concertmaster how he was fingering a specific figure and he looked up at her innocently and said “i use the harmonic” and she said “you want to tell that to your section?” so he turned around and said “i use the harmonic” in the exact same tone before turning back around and smiling like a little cherub up at tita conductor

everyone fucking lost it. including tita conductor

“and then from [rehearsal] O forward we should be prepared to gather steam. i don’t want to say we race ahead because then i’ll lose you.”

i don’t know how i feel about this concert. on the one hand i felt like i personally played much better in this rehearsal than i have in any of the rehearsals this quarter. on the other hand there are a lot of places where we are simply Not Together. the firsts tend to rush on a lot of things the seconds also have and so we just keep getting swept up in them.

anyway let’s just hope that things get ironed out in the official dress rehearsal on tuesday

tita conductor asked for a show of hands as to who was going to the dinner and when nobody else was raising their hands she said “the others don’t want to eat. okay that’s good enough”

i had a car but wanted to walk so i went with a group of players to the denny’s down the street

we were laughing about the conductorlastname incident and proposing increasingly absurd methods of addressing her (trumpet friend suggested her initials, i suggested tita/tía which principal oboe agreed with wholeheartedly) when we saw the woman herself driving her little toyota past us, which caused us to break down into greater hysterics

i think at some point someone actually said tita conductor was ‘so babygirl’ which was SO validating. i’m not the only one who thinks that it’s been peer reviewed

i ended up on one end of a long table with principal viola, one of the new cellists, clarinet 2/bass clarinet friend, the trumpet player in my home department who may be joining my lab group, principal oboe friend, and tita conductor

can i just say i love hanging out with other musicians. even when we weren’t talking about music (for several minutes clarinet friend and i were discussing aircraft) we just all got on like a house on fire. it was the greatest time

clarinet friend is the first person to disagree with everyone’s assessment of me as ‘should’ve been a clarinet’. he thinks i’d have been a tenor sax

i could not finish my pancakes. they were just too much. so i wound up taking half of it home 😭

as the night wore on, i could tell poor tita conductor was very sleepy and trying very valiantly to stay awake, which often resulted in her staring at you one moment and the next her eyes drooping shut until she shook herself back awake like girl it’s okay 😭 i just remember her phone reminder that simply said “Go to sleep”

eventually we all paid and headed out, and principal oboe friend and i agreed to walk back to the parking lot on campus together to retrieve our respective cars and as we were about to cross the exit of the denny’s parking lot tita conductor pulled up and we respectfully stopped for her and she waved us in front of her with a very conductor-ish gesture so we giggled, waved back at her, and ran across so she could turn out of the parking lot

tbh i’m not entirely sure if any of this actually happened or if i’m truly living in some kind of fever dream. but it was certainly a night to remember.

[thebirdygrace]

Death, and Other Dark Desires, Ch. 3

Chapter 3

“Foolish old man,” Lore mumbled frustratedly as he quickly swiped through Dr. Carlin’s logs for the umpteenth time, trying once more to make sense of his incoherent ramblings and scribblings. “Is this even in English? What the hell is that supposed to be?” Every speck of research the doctor had collected was handwritten in indecipherable chicken scratch that followed no perceivable pattern; at times, a single sentence would appear to break into two and scatter up and down the margins and between other lines of thought. Absolute madness!

After he unceremoniously relieved the doctor of any ability to protest, Lore discovered the doctor’s apparent dislike for storing his research notes electronically. Absolutely nothing was stored in the station’s mainframe or even on his private PADD. Lore had scanned every document and book he could find in the doctor’s library, ensuring he captured everything. It would be more than just a slight disruption to his plans if he couldn’t even fucking read the engine schematics! Lore slammed his fist into the side panel, creating a small dent in the diurmine casing—he wasn’t going to cast himself 40,000 lightyears from home without being certain he could fucking get back.

Lore leaned back in the helm chair, tapping his fingers rhythmically as his gaze drifted, quickly becoming locked in a distant battle as he stared unblinking, fury written plainly on his face before he suddenly sat upright and the tapping ceased. Flipping on the security monitor, he watched stone-faced as Lyla lay silently weeping in the captain’s quarters, her face buried in a pillow, body quivering with each breath. He’d locked her in there after the little bitch had tried to attack him, hysterically throwing whatever she could get her hands on; she’d even managed to hit him square in the temple with a plasma extinguisher. It gave him no small amount of pleasure to finally lay his hands on her and drag her pathetic little, weak, organic body, kicking and screaming, halfway across the ship before tossing her like a rag doll.

That changed her tune, Lore thought, smirking as he continued to watch her on the screen, replaying the sound of her whimpers over and over; each syllable she released created a thrilling sensation that had burrowed under Lore’s skin in the most delectable manner. He longed to hear her make those pretty sounds again; he’d never heard such beautiful music. Indeed, not in all his studies of the musical works of mortals had he ever felt so moved as he had when he heard the first soft, strangled moan released from between Lyla’s parted red lips. It was exhilarating, so much so that even he had to admit he’d struggled not to force more out of her, to slowly and deliberately drain every last ounce of those delicious notes he could.

It had been difficult, Lore fancied himself the ultimate authority on all things music, as with many men whose ego and intellect often struggle for dominance, his aspirations were broad and far-reaching; it wasn’t enough to seek vengeance on an empire, he also had to be better at their art. During that god-awful two years he was floating in the cold dark of space after his bastard of a brother cast him off the Enterprise, he’d spent much of his time dwelling in his catalog of recordings. Starting from the earliest Vulcan throat chanting to contemporary Klingon death metal, he’d listened and re-listened to every nanosecond, criticizing every inaccuracy and lackluster note they played. Oh, but Lyla, what beautiful music she’d made.

Lore looked back at the journal entries displayed on the screen and tilted his head with a self-indulgent smile, then turned to look again at Lyla, a greedy glint in his eyes. She’d spent almost a year with the doctor, practically nursing the degenerate old man—Lore recalled several entries in her personal logs where she had found the doctor passed out naked and soiled in the laboratory after one too many Romulan ales, forcing her to help the old man get cleaned up and put in bed, no doubt a task her mother had taught her in youth. Lore began tapping his fingers again, slowly, this time, perhaps she could be more than just pretty collateral, he thought with a wicked smile.

————————————————-

Lyla lay there, staring at the wall across from her, angrily trying to hold back tears. How could she be so stupid? What idiot walks directly into a trap? Never the matter, she had no personal knowledge of Lore nor his attributes; she had never met him before, and there was minimal information regarding him made publicly available—save for his name, relation to Lieutenant Data and the Crystalline entity, his files were beyond her access level. That didn’t matter, of course, long engrained in Lyla by the lessons of her youth was a sense of responsibility for things far beyond her control. She was the daughter of Admiral Lyall Dominguez, the latest in a long line of Starfleet elect, even if she shirked following in the family’s footsteps, the weight of her name alone came with duties, not looking like a fucking idiot damsel in distress in front of Starfleet was certainly right at the top. There was a part of her, and not a small portion either, that dreaded looking her father in the eye when he came for her… if he came for her.

Lyla bolted upright at the sound of the door sliding open, turning to watch Lore stroll into the room, his golden eyes filled with smug cruelty. As he slowly crossed the threshold and advanced, Lyla tried to scramble off the bed, but Lore was there in an instant, grabbing her by the ankle as she tried to crawl away and ripping her back down as he boorishly climbed atop her. He relished in the feeling of her body beneath his, the give of her flesh and bones as he pressed down upon her, the softness of her skin as he gripped her throat tightly… the thrill of lust that traveled up and down his spine with each gasp for air she took. Ah, yes, lust, that’s what that was, he’d never felt it before—so often he had heard it described by humans and secretly envied them, but now, with each thready pulse he felt beneath his palm and with every little whimper, he was more and more certain of it, this was lust, and he wanted to be consumed by it.

“Where are you trying to go, Lyla?” he whispered. Lore could see the tears forming in her pretty brown eyes as she struggled for air and watched the color drain from her skin. Lore loosened his grip, and Lyla drank in the air quickly. 

“Get off me!” she cried once she could find her voice.

Lore squeezed once more, cutting her off mid-breath. “Ah, ah, ah,” he toyed, “the next words out of your mouth better be to my satisfaction, or we’re going to have to rediscuss your living arrangements here. I’m more than capable of creating a makeshift cage for you in the cargo bay.” He raised his brows expectantly, a wicked smirk in place as he once again loosened his hold of her throat.

Lyla gasped for air but said nothing, just stared with heated indignity as Lore loomed over her. “Good girl,” he smiled widely.

“What do you want, Lore?” Lyla demanded softly.

“I need you to do something for me.”

“Oh?” she scoffed. “I thought I was just a bargaining chip.”

Lore gently brushed his thumb over the rapidly fluttering pulse in her neck. “You know, now that I’ve had some time to think on it, I’m sure I can find plenty of uses for you.”

Lyla felt a familiar sinking feeling, an uncomfortable sensation that curdled the acid in her stomach as she tried to sink deeper into the mattress, pulling as far away from him as possible. “What do you want, Lore?” she demanded again.

“I need you to interpret the doctor’s notes for me.” He purred.

“Can’t read his scribbles and shorthand?” she asked incredulously. “That really sounds like a you problem.”

Lore smiled, slowly trailing his fingers from her neck to just below her rib cage, taking time to tease her breast through her thin cotton dress, delighting in the discomfort she displayed, whimpering and wriggling under his touch. Suddenly, he forcefully slipped his fingers beneath her rib cage, digging violently into Lyla’s side as she screamed in pain. “You’re right, Lyla, it is a me problem,” he dug deeper and indulged in the pitch of her screams as he spoke, “but I’m a man who believes in, well, good old finders, keepers. I found you, I get to keep you, I own you,” with each syllable he dug a little deeper, bruising her inside and out as she writhed beneath him, “when I say I need you to do something for me, it’s not a request. Understood?” Lore retracted his hand from her side, gliding it back to wrap around her neck loosely. “Understood?” he repeated lightly.

Lyla simply nodded, trying in vain to hold back bitter tears.

[bestworstcase]

with only three episodes left, what do you think is in store for the rest of the volume? personally, i’m having trouble imagining a solid resolution fitting into such a small window. not that i doubt there’s a way to end this volume succinctly—rwby is always throwing curveballs i could’ve never predicted hitting, which i love—but i suppose the hangnail in resolution’s cuticle is that jrwby are all finally facing their lifelong, beaten-in worldview being turned on its head and that seems like the kind of thing (on top of neo’s untold ever after story) that needs more time to be resolved. in which case, ig we’re not looking at a clean wrap up? do you think they end this volume ascending the ever after? escaping back to remnant? (i ask those two questions separately bc i wanna say they might have different answers lol)

as a point of comparison, here’s everything (not necessarily in chronological order) that happened in the last three episodes of V8:

1 - ironwood vs everyone beat down

2 - winter heel face turn completed

3 - met ambrosius + staff of creation rules

4 - magic rules lawyered penny into a flesh body to save her from the virus with a side dish of horrible body horror robot body death scene and holy shit atlas is FALLING.

5 - creation of whacky portals for evacuation to vacuo

6 - emergency evacuation broadcast CANCELLED!

7 - cinder remembers the power of friendship and uses it for evil

8 - cinder recovered the lamp and scored the password and used the last question to spy on team oz which is fucking hysterical by the way, so she knows the entire plan

9 - YANG DIES?

10 - ruby and blake fall too. and neo

11 - the evacuation dumps everyone in a sandstorm so they can’t call for backup and also the exit is one-way (“oh dear. ambrosius \:” love that enthusiasm sir)

12 - HARRIET TRIES TO NUKE MANTLE?

13 - ironwood murders jacques

14 - eleventh hour harriet heel face turn also zeki dies because atlesian tech goons thought the nuke needed to be plugged into the IOT for some reason god bless

15 - PENNY???

16 - and winter becomes the winter maiden

17 - TEAM RWBY TOTAL PARTY KILL!!

18 - jaune also

19 - salem and cinder playing chicken over who is going to blink first like they don’t both already know that it’s going to be salem

20 - ATLAS OBLITERATED FOREVER

that’s a lot of things!

now, it’s a lot easier to set up and execute a dense, tightly-paced climactic spiral of disaster than bring a lot of interconnected emotional crises to satisfying resolution in the same amount of runtime—but on the other hand, V9 has a lot less going on. it doesn’t FEEL that way because the emotional development has been so rich and done so, so well, but there honestly are not that many narrative threads to tie off. basically, the big ones are:

1 - ruby’s emotional crisis

2 - jaune’s corruption

3 - neo

4 - how do we get home?

5 - what do we do once we get there?

compared to the sheer amount of dominoes V8 had to juggle, handling this stuff is a nice little walk.

the key thing to remember—& this has been true for every one of rwby’s climactic sequences and also counts as writing advice—is that none of these major threads are truly discrete. they’re all interwoven with each other and bound together with all the smaller filaments (like the cat’s arc or little’s arc or the framing device of ‘the girl who fell through the world’ and what really went down with alyx and the tree), so you don’t have to resolve them separately and indeed you can’t because it all has to happen at once. what this means, from a writing standpoint, is you layer up and make every scene work towards the resolution of two or three major threads and however many minor filaments you can fit comfortably so that everything is doing work for everything else. if you’re efficient you don’t need a lot of time to pull off a stunning climactic sequence, and efficiency is something rwby has always been very, very good at. this is true even of V1 even though V1 feels laughably inefficient by the standards of V8; which is to say, they started off good and got much better.

the other piece to bear in mind is that V9 is not meant to be self-contained; it is not a character-focused breather volume to let the protagonists heal up before returning to remnant to carry on as they were, it is The Answer. when rwbyjn go home they are not going to return to the story they fell out of at the end of V8. that story is OVER. it ENDED. the final word was checkmate and the world they knew is GONE FOREVER. salem WON. the ever after is an epilogue to that story and the prologue for another; it isn’t building towards a resolution so much as it is building a hook.

(<- remember V3 “beginning of the end” and “end of the beginning”? this story-within-story device is something rwby has utilized before; this show is a singular contiguous narrative in the literal sense, but it’s structured as a trilogy.)

so V9 needs to be a satisfying farewell to the middle book and also make the case for continuing on to the third and final story—which very much works to its benefit here, because the sweeping emotional changes being developed actually SHOULDN’T be resolved. a clean wrap up would critically weaken the narrative structure. the immediate crises need to be realized—there must be a moment of peace, of closing one book and beginning the next; a hopeful glimpse of the story to come, of what it could be—and then they go home. and the new story begins.

in the figurative sense you could call it ascension. in the literal sense, no, i don’t think any of the remnant characters are going to ascend because i don’t think they can (frankly i’m bemused as to why so many people seem to believe otherwise; it seems to me that the cat has made it very clear that ascension is closed to non-afterans). but the idea of ascension? oh, yes, they’re carrying that forward with them.

as for whether they’ll return to remnant—yes. i think the probability that they don’t find their way home by episode ten is zero. how they return is an open question but also not a question at all, because the tree is the question and their answer is the door; this has been spelled out, explicitly, albeit in wonderlandish terms. what we don’t know yet is what this will look like, because the tree is also the blacksmith and the ever after runs on wonderland rules. it’s not going to be literal. (<- unless abstraction is less absurd than the literal option, which is possible given the likelihood that the ever after itself is fictional.)

[lingshanhermit]

Lingshan Hermit: Are You Already on the Path to Liberation?

I recently read some materials about Grameen Bank, which greatly interested me.

Grameen Bank is a bank specifically dedicated to helping the poor escape poverty. Unlike other banks that simply lend you money and consider their job done, they care about more than just lending you money; they focus on how to help you use that money to escape your current poverty. In other words, they not only want to give you temporary comfort but also hope to provide you with ultimate comfort, although this ultimacy is only in the worldly sense.

They have a set of standards for poverty and for those who have escaped poverty. To escape poverty, the following conditions must be met: All family members live in a house with a tin roof or in a house worth more than 25,000 taka; they are in normal physical and mental condition; children can attend or have graduated from primary school. They drink clean water from tube wells, boiled water, or arsenic-free water purified with alum, purification tablets, or pitcher filters; they sleep on beds rather than on the floor. They have adequate clothing, including winter clothes for everyone such as loose robes, yak wool sweaters, quilts, and blankets, as well as mosquito nets; they have the ability to provide three meals a day for family members throughout the year without worrying about food shortages. Additionally, they have the ability to take prompt action for appropriate treatment when sick and can afford medical expenses. These are Grameen's standards for escaping poverty.

This made me think about the standards for Buddhists to escape suffering. Are you on the path to liberation? Or are you moving away from it? There should be a set of standards similar to Grameen's.

I'll try to discuss these standards based on my experience. If you have already developed renunciation, you may not care as much about things you used to be concerned about. For example, in the past, you might have become hysterical if teacups were not arranged as you expected, like Bree. (There's an American TV series called "Desperate Housewives," where there's a housewife named Bree who is obsessed with perfection to the point of madness, unable to tolerate any imperfection in her domain. Even a tiny stain on the bedsheet would make her uneasy; she would only feel comfortable when everything was perfect as she imagined.) Now, you might just feel slightly uncomfortable, and you can detect this feeling and quickly stabilize your emotions.

Renunciation is not as pessimistic or world-weary as some people think. It's just about freeing yourself from the control of things that used to control you.

You might start to lose interest in secular books, finding them too childish to compete with Buddhist wisdom. You might become more sensitive; in the past, you might have been indifferent to seeing someone kill a chicken, viewing chicken blood as insensitively as red paint. Now, you find yourself unable to tolerate killing, even if it's just a fish. You also find it heart-wrenching. Moreover, you become more easily moved when watching movies.

In the past, you might have only considered your own interests before doing anything, but now, you start to consider karma before taking any action. You begin to practice self-discipline, and you won't have a fluke mentality even when no one is supervising you.

For you now, the duration of afflictions begins to shorten. In the past, you might have taken half a day to realize you were angry, but now you can easily detect your anger. Although you can't completely prevent afflictions from arising, you have already gained partial sovereignty over yourself. Reclaiming lost ground is just a matter of time.

You have the ability to control yourself from looking at things you shouldn't see and doing things you shouldn't do. Or you feel very regretful after doing them.

You no longer only care about this life. You start thinking about the next life and making plans for it.

You begin to notice the people around you and start to feel that they are very pitiful. You want to help them but feel powerless. You start spending more time on practice and feel that your time is becoming scarce. You use the Dharma as an important reference for your behavior. Although you don't fully understand what it means to become a Buddha, you have faith and interest in it.

You begin to care not only about yourself but also about your parents (whom you didn't care about before) and even a small bug in a flower pot. You consider their feelings and have an urgent desire for them to learn Buddhism like you. Things that used to be very serious to you now don't matter. For example, you used to get angry about the saltiness of a dish, but now you won't.

If you possess these various qualities, it can be said that you have begun to walk on the path of liberation. Although there are still many things waiting for you ahead, you have confidence. The process of changing the mind is slow, but as long as you have faith and correct guidance, you will become the master of your mind.

August 19, 2007

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灵山居士：你是否已经走上解脱之路　　

[ratsoh-writes]

[Are you gonna kill him?]

"Of course I will. He knows too much"

Sea had dragged her cousin's unconscious body and had dumped it in a nearby dumpster. After that, the two sat on a rooftop, not too far from the dumpster.

[I mean. If that were my cousin I would have already killed him long ago. That guy's mind is creepy]

"Hah, you and almost all my family. He would be already dead if it wasn't for his mom- did you just... say that his mind is creepy?"

[Yeah?]

"You read his mind?"

[What? Like it's hard? He wasn't using anything to protect it when he was awake]

She was... speechless. Everyone knew, everyone thought that Oscar always put a shield around his mind, like any other flayer mage. But Maverick was saying that he wasn't?

"What did you-?"

"Nope. I'm not telling~"

Maverick had switched from telepathy to sound magic again. Sea remembered that she was supposed to put another shield on her mind again, and yet she let this monster talk to her through her mind. A mistake on her part.

"If you were looking for ANYTHING while talking to me..."

"Nope. Nothing of interest from you. I might randomly read people's minds without any shame but even I know when to stop. I'm not stupid"

"Well, at least you have a brain. And what were you doing here anyways, you don't even live near."

"Your gramps send me looking for you. And I just followed the mass destruction until I found you"

.

Sea returned to the apartment after telling Maverick, in a less hateful tone than usual, to fuck off. She didn't talk to Herald, and only put a bunch of groceries on the table for them.

She didn't go to the apartment for five weeks after that. But threatened Maverick into giving her any updates three days a week.

She still felt angry, true. But also felt... she didn't know what to name that other emotion. But she felt bad because of the things she said right before Oscar spoke.

Oh. And speaking about Oscar...

"YOU HAVEN'T FOUND HIM!?"

"No aunt Lilith."

"Ugh! You are USELESS! My poor baby is out there alone and none of you care!"

"Can I go now?"

Sea dodged a flower vase as she exited the room. Her aunt has been on a hysterical rampage since her son disappeared 5 weeks ago. And despite everyone's "best" efforts, nobody could find him.

What a shame.

.

She couldn't wait any longer. If she didn't act now, then it was going to be a matter of time before someone else, less impulsive, found out about her plans.

Sea had already finished planting the last "bomb". This was the hardest to plant because it included planting some of the Intel she got on Empress in one of the cults bases, and pin it on the uncle that was colluding with them. This was going to be the first warning shot.

.

Chaos ensued in the house. Everyone was working to cut ties with the fool that dared to share Intel about Empress' executioner with those crazy humans.

It took hours to cut all ties. Many calls, many resources, but it was done. And now, all there was to figure out was how the idiot got the information.

"Pfff... wow. You all looked like headless chickens"

Work sea!!! Also maverick is a crazy mf for real. And Oscar? Wonder how he does finally get found

[basiatlu]

Thanks for tagging me @lqtraintracks and @goblinmatriarch 🤭💖✨

-Three Ships-: ok so last time I avoided hp ships so let’s make them all hp-centric! I mean Drarry as an easy shot, then there’s Wolfstar (but it always makes me really sad so only little nibbles), and finally Ginny serves as my village bicycle where I enjoy her paired with almost anyone I deem compatible as I want to see her thriving in life and experiencing fun and safe partners and finding herself etc etc I adore her. How’s that for a run-on sentence?

-First Ship-: was totally SasuSaku which was then a gateway drug to shipping the angsty boy with Naruto because early internet image searches, man.

-Last Song-: “Blue Spotted Tail” by Fleet Foxes

-Last Movie-: Gunpowder Milkshake - so good about 8/10 for me!

-Currently Reading-: reading through my paired fics for the upcoming Big Bang fest

-Last Thing I Wrote Drew-: yesterday’s drawtober prompt

-Currently Writing Drawing-: today’s drawtober prompt (totally not even procrastinating - not even a little bit)

-Are you named after anyone?-: I am! There’s the Polish jazz singer, Basia Trzetrzelewska. My mom is a big fan hehehe

-Favorite Subject in School-: History! Ancient history specifically

-Do you have kids?-: No, but I do have a circus of cats. They’re currently on a diet and have made the last month a terrible time for my sleep health lolz

-When was the last time you cried?-: so I have overactive tear ducts? So if I laugh I cry and I usually hit a breaking point everyday where I laugh hysterically at something. Today it was a sticker order a customer at work had ordered of an ms paint tracing of a Scooby-Doo ai splice gen where Scooby is eating the Mystery Gang in a giant hoagie sandwich. Yeah. Me and my co workers printed it out to pin to the wall as I cry/laugh/sobbed at my desk.

-Do you use sarcasm a lot?-: Yes but also no but also I just make fun of myself constantly and intentionally act stupid. It’s a great ploy to get others to lower their defenses around you. Not out of malicious intent, just I don’t take myself too seriously in order to save that energy for when it matters. Like when I have to intensely support my friends and partner with very serious-mode love and affection. … this doesn’t make any sense.

-What sports do you play/have played?-: soccer, softball, and swim <— I hate competitive sports and never stuck with them long than a year or I just was a filthy casual doing summer seasons/clubs. I’m more of a hiker and leisure gal.

-What’s the first thing you notice about people?-: the way they hold their shoulders and hands, secondary is their eyebrows and nose. It’s all demeanor and posture for me.

-Any special talents?-: gosh um I can cook really well. Honestly I don’t like eating out and neither does my partner because we turn to each other after and go “Eh it was ok but…” and wish I had done it at home instead. I can fold and make odd shapes with my tongue, can crinkle my fingers in odd ways (double jointed, but they lock badly so no thank you), and I can do some fucking weird voices/imitations but I chicken out in front of others beyond like 3 people, unfortunately for those 3

-Where we’re you born?-: Canada

-What are your hobbies?-: video games, tarot card readings, cooking, drawingdrawingdrawing, and reading

-How tall are you?-: I hover somewhere between 5’6” and 5’7”

-Dream Job-: comic artist / self-employed artist with occasional contract work for publishing/movies. I think if I could completely support myself and have a savings with a Patreon or the like that would make me so accomplished and at ease.

Ok enough of that!! I tag people now, yeah? @mono-chromia @hihimissamericanbi @littlewinnow

[deuterosapiens]

Delicate Condition, by Danielle Valentine

This book was not for me. I wanted to like it, I bought it with the intention of liking it. I bought it with the intention of making a Rosemary's Baby joke, but this book, which I read over the course of two days, simply doesn't do it for me.

So, for those out of the know, American Horror Story's twelfth season is going to be unique, not just because it will be including Kim Kardashian, but because unlike other seasons which take inspiration from other works, but are, on the whole, original stories, this upcoming season is an adaptation. As it hasn't went live yet, I'm not certain whether to view AHS: Delicate as a straight adaptation, or a loose one (like the Bryan Fuller version of Carrie from 2002 that basically no-one saw), however the point is that I purchased this book in an attempt to get something of a feel for what to expect out of this season.

I'm not saying I regret that decision, I'm just saying that there are certain things which I loved and certain things which I disliked immensely in this book.

I will be spoiling a lot of it, and basically every other media I can thing of, including the classic Roman Polanski film, Rosemary's Baby, starring the treasure of an actress Mia Farrow (whose remake is... fine. I love Zoë Saldana, but her adaptations draaaaags).

So, Delicate Condition is about an actress who is desperate to have a child. I'm not saying desperate, the book is. Like, a lot (I might go through it again and highlight the sheer number of times the book uses that word.) In her desperation, she visits an IVF clinic to help. Boom, now she's pregnant. But now she's being stalked, so she moves away, has a miscarriage, then quite astoundingly, somehow still feels like she's pregnant. Is it a miracle or could it be...

...Sa~TaAaN???

No.

No it is not.

Which is one of these little things that kind of lead to this book fizzling out for me.

During her pregnancy, the post-miscarriage one, unusual events begin to occur around her. She develops an extreme craving for raw meat, she hallucinates frequently, and there's an intense discussion that she's being drugged. Her husband and her doctors refuse to believe her, and the word hysterical comes up frequently (etymologically interesting, as the word hysteria comes from an older Greek word for uterus, which creates an thematic connection that is undoubtedly intentional).

So, you know that scene in Rosemary's Baby where in a trance-state, Rosemary starts eating raw chicken? It's weird and uncomfortable and does a fair job of showing us, with no dialog, that there's definitely something going on her. It's an impulsive decision and it freaks her out tge moment she realizes she's doing it.

There's a comparable scene here involving a dead raccoon. Our actress is drawn to the smell of a rotting animal in her swimming pool. She's disgusted by it, but eventually finds herself craving it culminating in a scene of her waking up, convinced that she had gone back to its corpse and eaten it in her sleep.

Okay, so the Polanksi scene is snappy and works because it's impulsive. The Delicate scene does not, because it is clearly thought about, discussed, and takes place over the span of multiple days. It's also a fake out.

There is a raw-meat-eating scene later on. This is actually a recurring obsession of hers. One that results in her almost biting into one of her dogs, but due to incredible self-control, she resists the urge and raids the kitchen. This weird moment has a climax in which she lures a stray cat to its death. Except that cat is shown alive the following day. A hallucination! And another fake out.

This is a thing this book does a lot. It has these intense, interesting moments that you're waiting on the pay-off for, and the pay-off more-or-less amounts to "it's all in her head". Which would be incredibly cool. Subversive. A version of Rosemary's Baby where the pregnant woman thinks there's evil and conspiracy and the twist is, nope, you're legitimately just completely certifiably, a lunatic. Except, nope, it turns out there is a conspiracy!

That's right! As we near the climax, it's revealed that her IVF doctor was in league with Satanists to take her baby for ritual purposes!

This too, is a fake out. Because it's actually witches!

Oh, yeah, she was definitely being stalked, but it wasn't Satanists attempting to produce The Adversary, Destroyer of Kings, Angel of the Bottomless Pit, Great Beast that is Called Dragon, Prince of This World, Father of Lies, Spawn of Satan, and Lord of Darkness. It was witchcraft. How silly of me. And so it's witches then, who are trying to produce The Adversary, Destroyer of Kings, Angel of the Bottomless Pit, Great Beast that is Called Dragon, Prince of This World, Father of Lies, Spawn of Satan, and Lord of Darkness?

Nope.

Because the subversion here, is that witches were stalking her to guarantee that her pregnancy is successful and painless because the real horror, the real evil, is that doctors don't take women seriously.

There's a sub-plot of our actress's husband being shady. Those of you thinking of that whole thing about Guy trading his wife for fame should disregard that notion. Turns out, he's just an unfaithful prick who intended to separate from her if their recent attempts at baby-making failed. Cool. Great. This added sooo much tension. Completely necessary. Yay.

Okay.

So going into this, the first thing you should realize is that, despite the set-up reminding you very much of a certain film (and the book on which it's based, which I have not read, but will remedy shortly), and despite the name of that film appearing prominently on the cover as part of the accolades, your enjoyment of Delicate Condition will vary quite heavily based on your relationship with that film (and/or its original novel). Think of it as its own thing, separate and see how it stands on its own.

I can see how this will work for American Horror Story. That show has always been about taking familiar horror stories, familiar situations, familiar tropes and telling its own story with them. Whether that story is good is relative. Delicate Condition does very much the same things and so is very much worth at least a casual glance to your average AHS fan.

I cannot however entirely recommend this to fans of those films and books which brought the Satanic Panic to its head. It wants to be Rosemary's Baby but isn't. It wants to be an original thing but shares too much with Rosemary's Baby to divorce itself too much from the concept.

I wanted to like it. I was ready to love it. But this wasn't for me. Maybe it's because, as a guy, I cannot relate to the physical experiences here. I will concede that this might be a perfectly chilling, unsettling, and disturbing reading experience for people who are more intimately familiar with its subject matter, but that's not me, and that's no fault of the book, or its writer.

I truly want others to like this book more than I did.