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#IT MEANS A LOT WHEN U SAY THIS ;w;
luck-of-the-drawings · 6 months
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OH ARTHUR BENNETT.. such a gorgeous and intriguing character. terribly burdened by a GRUESOME set of crimes, his light suffocated by a HEAVY century of GUILT. so tragic, so dark and broody, and yet PAINFULLY awkward in any social setting ever
#jrwi fanart#cw blood#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#arthur bennett#OUHH THIS ONE WAS SITTING IN MY WIPS FOR SO LOOOONGwhen i took it out there was mould on it :sob:#BUT i think i was able to fix it up okay#i keep seeing SO MANY MISTAKES RRAAAHHH BUT YOU DONT SEE THEM RIGHT?? THATS ONLY ME. RIGHT?? EXACTLY.#THE KEY IS TO SAY. AND REPEAT AFTER ME. 'FUUUCK IT WE BALL#so anyway. arthur bennett huh? grizzly says that arthur is reaal fuckin difficult to play. and i SUPER get that. i mean LOOK AT HIM..#grizz often needs a minute to think abt what hes gonna say in a way that matches w that Stoic Personality. which is FAIR but also that#ends up making way for awkward confrontations like: the lady in the parky lot. he took too long to answer and scared her away.& I LOVE THAT#arthur is tragic and sad and cool and stoic but hes ALSO awkward and silly and kinda dumb and short sighted. HE HAS COMPLEXITIES#I LOVE WHEN TTRPG CHARACTERS HAVE A GOOD SET OF SHORTCOMINGS. ESPECIALLY WHEN U FIND THEM ONLY AS U PLAY THEM.#I COULd go on and on saying the same things w different words abt arthurs intriguing and entertaining character but i shall spare u. for no#ILL ALSO MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVE HIS FLAVOR THO.. I LOVE TALL HOT BOY WHOS ONE W THE DARKNESS.. I REMEMBER WHEN HE FIRST MENTIONED THE#BADLUCK. N I WAS LIKE OOOHH THATS WHY HIS DESIGN IS SO COOL N CHAOTIC N ASYMMETRICAL. HES UNLUCKY!!! i love love love his design so much...#GRaaauruguguraguhhghghgh what else what else is there for me to spew on abt...i think im reachin a limit here..OH MAGNUS. i hope that#we get to know more abt how magnus and arthur met.. like How they became besties... ouuhh... I ALSO WANNA KNOW MORE ABT MARY DAVIS. LIKEHOW#he also apparently spent alotta time in a zone dominated by edward twilight? all he remembers is constant partying? I WANNA KNOW MORE..#i think i got room 4 one more ramble SO. THE ART PIECE.as i said its gone a lil stale BUT. im still very proud o the bits where hes allScar#I WANNA SEE HIM GET SCARYMORE. I like the idea of shadows solidifying to make him strange and eerie.like TEETH n CLAWS n SPINES n YESS#also the SILVER EYES.no1 does silver eyes like the show Claymore. they make em look so striking and eerie...i also like to think that#human arthur had deep beautiful brown eyes.just in my beaitufl heart.i mean look at him..i wanna cook him n eat him.ANYWAY#i think thats all my ramblin for this piece. now i gotta go cancel a single day i had ata hotel bc my work schedule change last minute FUCK#feel free to ramble in my tags aswell tho i read all of them and i chew on thenm and i love them so sos os mcuh
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encyclop3dia · 6 months
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paladin danse is fun n stuff in the game but if i met that mf irl i'd kill him with a rock
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atopvisenyashill · 2 months
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on reflection the fact that we didn’t see laena claim vhagar, and now didn’t see the moment addam got on seasmoke either? kinda annoying me
#hotd spoilers#i mean at least we got to SEE addam and seasmoke meet#like since the timeline started we’ve had three perhaps four dragon claiming and not cradle eggs - laena and vhagar; aemond and vhagar;#helaena and dreamfyre; addam and seasmoke; potentially aegon and sunfyre since it’s kinda fuzzy on exactly how that one worked#(i imagine similar to however laenor & seasmoke worked tho? that one is similarly vague)#(oh fuck and daeron and tessarion are in the same boat right? very young rider very young dragon but we’re not told whether this is a cradle#egg or whether this child just felt a pull to a young dragon or whether they were specifically allowed to choose that dragon)#anyways i think it’s really annoying we’ve only see that one (1) claiming esp when you look at the riders of the other ones lol.#also vhagar gets a LOT of action helaena and dreamfyre don’t get anything and they cut the one thing they did do.#laena is vastly underused altho i will give them that they at least on screen establish that bond which is more than u can say for dreamfyre#the seasmoke thing is also like. if you were Just gonna kill him offscreen so addam could ride him. what’s the point.#literally could have just had daemon kill him atp & just have him lie to rhaenyra or whatever.#i’ve really liked the dragon scenes we’ve gotten but frequently it’s like. u called the show house of the dragon.#surely you thought about how you were going to cheaply do the dragons or budget them in. why don’t we get more dragons.#‘well they’re expensive-‘ get an animatronic head to interact w like jurassic park. some of these characters rode their dragons every day!#okY i’m done bitching i can’t believe after i spent all of got going ‘fuck these dragons where are the wolves’ now i’m like#WJERE ARE THE FUCKING DRAGONS CONDAL
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potatobugz · 1 year
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do you think the mess in oshiros hotel is meant to signify that hes been letting his problems pile up until its become too overwhelming to handle.
im thinking about the fact that he's definitely the one who's been making the mess but he doesn't even realize it. he ignores the clutter until it becomes too hard to ignore you know? like when it starts actively blocking the way to the presidential suite. he insists that he and his staff will handle it and that madeline shouldn't clean up his own mess, but he still doesn't do anything about it. does he know that the staff is gone? that it's just him there?
mr oshiro is so hell bent on impressing madeline so that she'll stay in his hotel. he's so in denial of everything. he doesn't even realize he's dead, he still thinks his hotel never got shut down. I think his insistence on her staying is bc he really wants to believe that the hotel is open, and a costumer would affirm that belief. it could also maybe be a mixture of loneliness too. (also, him treating her as a costumer even after she says no is absolutely him being in denial. that man is very unhealthily attached to this hotel,)
and even though it was nice of madeline to clean it up, there's still parts of the hotel she can't fix. the plumbing. the windows. the, hole in the ceiling (oops.) she's not qualified to help him, and that's why I think the chapter ends on a bit of a sour note. madeline is of course not a bad person for wanting to help, the point is that she can't. it is unfortunate but true
anyways mr oshiro is a very good character i like him a regular amount. im normal about that old man
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ccircusclwn · 5 months
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im watching an mcsm walkthrough okay (4hs in)
n then i said- what if i saw another one that has the jesse i picture in my head (bcs ive seen fanart of him before watching the game n the first walkthru im seeing has a jesse that doesnt look like the one i saw)
TELL ME WHY THE STORY IN THAT ONE CHANGED ENTIRELY??? HOW DID PETRA N GABRIEL SWITCH???
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bunnihearted · 1 month
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🧷💬✖️
#ummm but like.... why isnt there an option to like turn off certain apps showing up in the 'share' button#like when u press that box thingy with an arrow thingy#then all options come up and it's like to copy the link or share it in a message or email or save bookmark etc#bc it is making me so mad.... that all contacts from all apps show up there without allowing it#????#like everytime im bookmarking smth or sending smth to myself his name and pfp pop up there#and it makes my heart clench and ache so bad every time#bc i am reminded of how he isnt messaging me anymore and how i cant even share links or anything w him anymore#and how im sad and alone and wanting to talk to him bc to me ppl i know are special and i cant just exchange feelings for someone#like i wanna share a link with him but that doesnt mean i wanna share it with anybody else? like when i have rapport w someone i cant just#delete ot transfer. other ppl seem to have it so so so so incredibly easy to just jump between ppl and not actually share anything special#or have deep connections to ppl bc they easily just jump onto the next person and then the next one and im not like that#anyway it just makes me sad that im sad missing him wanting to talk to him#but he has filled that space with someone else and he wants to takk to that person. not me#im nothing special nothing to be missed or remembered or trasured or wanted#i dont say or do or contribute anything special. u can always find a lot better somewhere else#so yeah i dont wanna fkn be reminded of that everytime i save a fkn bookmark#but theres no option to remove it and it is quite frankly making me homicidal. like wtf???? i dont wanna be forced to have all apps there??
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seventh-district · 4 months
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not even gonna tag this properly bc i don't wanna get Involved but i do have some Thoughts i need to get out into the void so here we go
(aaa quick edit: CW for mention/discussion of Boothill leaks)
#today's gone Badly and i'm upset but instead of venting abt it i'm gonna channel that energy into doing a bit of tag rambling abt Boothill#well. less abt Him and more abt uh. self-analyzing my anxiety surrounding contributing to fandoms. he's just today's catalyst#like. i know it's mostly a me thing. i'm hypersensitive to criticism and very conflict avoidant + socially anxious + perfectionistic etc.#so I'm the one that keeps myself from posting more stuff out of fear of being criticized or called-out for what i've made#bc inevitably Someone's gonna see it and think its OOC or a problematic take or they'll misread my intent. etc etc what have you#but like. that's inevitable. there's no way to communicate every single thing with all of the nuance required to avoid misunderstandings#and other times it's not a misunderstanding it's just a difference of opinions and that's Fine!! there's no accounting for personal taste#there's no accounting for several things actually. taste‚ bias‚ lore-knowledge‚ differing levels of chronic-online-ness‚ etc#so this isn't me complaining abt the state of fandom culture (although i do think. sometimes. ppl take shit a bit too seriously)#but anyways all of this is mostly just anxiety-fueled. it's not like i very often actually even receive negative feedback or anything#if anything ppl tend to tell me that i'm overthinking it and killing my own fun and worried that my stuff is more OOC than it is#which like. yeah. Yeah u right :) but that's just the way that i am! always losing the idgaf war i suppose#anyways what's Boothill got to do w this ur wondering. well. i've been thinking abt the quickly emerging concept that he's illiterate.#and it just. has me feeling a lot of ways. and watching ppl disagree over it has me feeling some Bad ways. bc it's def a loaded topic!#if you'll pardon the pun there. and i don't rlly have anything new to add other than that i'm conflicted abt it.#like yeah i saw the leaks days ago. of him mentioning 'not hitting the books' much as a child when we ask him why he sends voice messages#or voice Transcriptions ig. ykwim. and like. *braces for impact* ...i liked it? like. it doesn't feel right to call it endearing#i'm not trying to infantilize him. ok that's not the right word either but ugh. you know? what i mean?? who am i kidding even i don't know#it's not quite right to say that it feels like Representation either. but it's something close i guess#as a southern person myself who didn't receive a 'complete' education due to factors that weren't to do with my intelligence#the concept of seeing him as a capable force to be reckoned with and respected who also happens to have not received much formal education#i like that. i do. but there's so many issues w it at the same time. like. as i said‚ being southern myself has me Wary of the way Hoyo is-#writing him. as well as of the way that the fandom is taking the bits of his lore and running away w them. and i'm Very aware of how ppl-#will see a southern character and be All Too Eager to agree that they're lacking intelligence based on our Redneck™ stereotype#sigh. and before we even go too far with this. it's not even confirmed that hes completely illiterate. which is a valid criticism i've seen#there's Multiple reasons that could make him prefer voice to text. but regardless. i'm just worried that ppl will misconstrue my intentions#like. example: that edit i made the other day of him saying 'no thanks i can't read'. wasn't me playing into the stereotype of-#'haha dumb country boy can't read!' it was. in my eyes. something he'd say as a joke to make light of a potential insecurity#like. i think there's far more depth to Boothill's character if ppl could look past the surface. and i dont wanna contribute to the problem#but sometimes ppl Will have stereotypical traits and i wish the same could apply to characters as long as it's done Thoughtfully.
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butchkaramazov · 7 months
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the cannibalism community is too whitewashed for a brown butch like me :(
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foccaccia · 6 months
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does anyone have recommendations for fictional media that has like. actual lesbians in it. not like supergirl Two White Skinny Girls, One Blonde and One Brunette Kiss media, or "its implied lesbianism!!!" but just regular fucking lesbians
#i say lesbians but i guess i mean sapphic#im just like. tired of gnawing#and of men also. sorry men in my life i love you but on god if i have to pretend one more man is butch just to get#content that isnt m/m or m/f im going to turn into a horse and run into the wilderness until im saved from the glue factory by a plucky#young woman except instead of letting her have her formative summer where she trains me and bonds w me and wins a competition w me#im going to commit horse suicide in front of her & change her life forever. just because im so tired of bland CW-marketable women kissing &#digging for scraps in a refuse bin while brushing aside 7002993829292929939292929399394 gay and het romances#m text#i will also take nonfictional lesbians if its like a story#not to be whiny on main but one of the hardest hurdles i had to jump wasnt realizing i was a lesbian. i came out to myself and to friends a#lesbian multiple times. but i would always walk it back when a friend would express doubt or a male friend would ask me out#bc i dont and especially then didnt know very many lesbians in person. and so i had to turn to examples#and all i fucking had were fictional women who liked men. or fictional lesbians who were so cleaned and sanitized and prettified#(you all know what i mean right. the 2 skinny white girls one blonde one brunette. im not crazy right)#and i would be like. i dont feel things when i look at these fictional lesbians so i guess i belong back here#(this is also bc my gender ended up being fuckier than i realized but shhhhh)#I WAS GOING SOMEWHERE WITH THESE TAGS but theyre too long and im lost.#anyway the point is if people werent so fucking weird abt fictional or onscreen lesbians maybe thered be a lot more people comfortable bein#out as lesbian#like sorry but this awful ouroboros of 'all lesbians onscreen have to be cute and sanitized' meaning that people write and believe wlw has#to be cute and pure and sanitized (OR a 'badge of honor' bc good for u u doodled two women together or had it as a background in ur fic)#meaning that therefore all portrayals of lesbianism continue to be like this. is just#and im also gonna be honest theres probably a lot of good sapphic media im just in the wrong circles to have stumbled into lol. so#yknow. personal viewer bias here#but i still like swing wildly between overly brandishing my dykeness as a badge to feel like im proving im lesbian#and like. backing up under a blanket bc i dont wanna be weird or annoying or freak people out#but if people just Saw Normal Ass Lesbians. aough.#im going to watch revolutionary girl utena one of these days even if i struggled w the writing style the first few episodes#I JUST WANNA SEE AN OLD BUTCH ONSCREEN GET SOME PUSSY.#like it also doesnt help im mostly femme4butch so seeing 2 femmes on screen is like. okay cool so what. but only femmes are 'marketable'
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i could draw anything but i decided to draw this. carlo and rocco in 1932 aka my headache
#^ this isnt real ofc but its what happening inside their heads (well in carlo's at least)#mfs when their old friend doesn't break under manipulation#“Lift up the receiver I'll make you a believer” punching the wall with fist#rocco was the underboss not eddie can u hear me!!!!!!!!!!! HELLO!!!!!!!!! (capo henry situation in terms of complexity)#no m2 did smth to my brain and now im incapable of writing normal relationship between people#anyway. things that makes sense only to me rn unfortunately:#“AND YET ALAS I WELCOME YOU KNOWING ABOUT YOU” its carlo @ rocco but works both ways i think. RAHHHHHHHHH#YET YOU THINK WE'RE THE SAME RAHHHHHHHHH#youre not who u are to anyone these days im not who i am to anyone no not me at all these days not at all RAHHHHHHHHH#carlo who was afraid of rocco (for a reason) when he started to run the family rahhhhhhhhh#“That son of a bitch!.. I fuckin’ knew it!” <-watch me put a lot more meaning into a phrase that shouldn't make so much sense#2kczech need to pay me for developing rocco's character btw if u even care . and for writing this fucking falcone family backstory#“Холодный и острый осколок гранита; Смерть Голиафа в руке Давида”#<- “A cold and sharp shard of granite; Goliath's death in David's hand”#i've listened to this song too much it became certifed rocco song to me#let's say rocco helped carlo a lot w preparing moretti family for a new don. just bc i don't think it was this simple#“your capo killed your don lets all pretend that its cool and normal and it doesn't matter that he ran the family for 23 years😋😘”#avart#m2#i wont tag this w fandom tags dear god this shit is so delusional#dear god rocco been a gap and a blank spot in this story for so long but now i genuinely like him#tho i'm still not done with his character yet but there's enough for me to like him#sorry. not normal bout them. not at all .#rocco & carlo
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shopcat · 5 months
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im sorry my opinion on genderbends changes every seconddddd i just think there's a difference between liiike for example gay girls drawing male characters fem for fun / yuri reasons, or trans ppl having fun w characters in a not weird way, VS (mostly cis) ppl getting up to well cisgender situations because they're crazy and are just drawing random women or men (8 or V) with 2 identifying characteristics slapped on and they look NOTHING like the actual character (or take into account how they COULD look different and aren't doing that either, like how a hyperfeminine chara who is that way bc she likes feeling pretty would still be a pretty boy. etc.)...
you can sniff out transphobia/weird gender shit/blatant homophobia in some people is all. i think it's also helpful im not exposed to annoying genderbends lately they've been fun or cool for fun reasons and not weird reasons like erm doing gender essentialism 😀
#🐾#also the secondary aspect of how it's just a complicated trans hc for ... a lot of this stuff LOL#like it's not and im not saying everyone and their mother should be doing trans hcs but if you're going hmm#i want to see this character as another gender WELL i have news for you. It can happen. teehee#anyway. i would probably draw fem versions of male charas for my friends or oomfies if i felt so inclined but i tend to prefer just making#boys wear cute outfits and such i don't really care ... average he/she transmasc my apologies#put this bralette on NOW !!!!!#anyway i think ppl should also take into account certain things too#like i'm never going to draw or engage w fem reigen art ever. literally ever. bc of the transmisogyny in the series w him#and i see people way too comfortable being like actually it's Cool now like no ....#also by fem i mean like female not just feminine. w all of this. bc those r different obvioisly ...#also none of this applies to drawing ACTUAL trans hcs like i love trans hcs obviously and they're totally different / cooler in every way#anyway. my next day thoughts are also it's mostly just a fun character design thing it's chilllll it's googling Rainbow dash as a Boy#when you're 12 and going AHHHHH#i also cannot wholeheartedly hate the entir concept of genderbends bc like i've revealed before#crossplaying as the fem version of male characters when i was younger is what made me realise i was even trans#(though that was bc i was like why am i being the fem version -> i should just be the male version -> unlocks gender euphoria)#but i get being sick and tired of them and i am too just the weird annoying ones#though even then u can tell when it's an adult doing it for cishet reasons and a 14 year old girl who wants her fav to be a girl too
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seiwas · 5 months
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hi my sweet sel :3 i’m sneaking in w a fresh matcha for u to ask for a moot bingo card 🍵… i’m 2 curious i couldn’t resist </3
ari my beloved!!!! thank you for the matcha 🥺 i am sip sippin it while doing your bingo card (my feet are also kicking in the air behind me 🤭) pls sit with me, i am offering you a cookie!! 🍪
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(c) xen-blank for the template!
send me an ask and i’ll fill up this bingo for you!! 🥺
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I love learning ASL it’s so good. Makes me happy to learn it. I’m so glad my university has classes for it with professors actually steeped in Deaf culture.
#blue chatter#am I good at ASL? hahahahahahaha. no.#ASL and English grammar are incredibly different and even when I remember my vocab I am easily clockable as hearing#but I do have some language capacity now. enough to communicate the basics.#and I just. genuinely really enjoy it. it’s fun to learn and engaging in a way most of my classes just aren’t.#and I can. yanno. communicate respectfully w Deaf ppl. and learn about their culture#which is incredibly important given that I want to go into a field where there is a higher incidence than typical of Deaf people#autistic? you’re more likely to be Deaf!#not to mention the fact that sign language can sometimes be a useful alternative to speech for nonspeaking/nonverbal people#depending on the person obvi; some nonspeaking/nonverbal autistics cannot use sign language and that’s okay#but surely at some point I will encounter either a Deaf client or a nonspeaking/nonverbal client who uses ASL#and when that time comes I should have some idea of how to communicate with them#I also rly like the Deaf church by my parents’ house#their community is really welcoming and their services are really interesting#I think it’s rly cool how they take intentions directly from the congregation#they’ll raise their hands and then sign what their intention is from their pew to the ambo#which is rly neat#it is funny bc every time I go the Deaf ppl I talk to will tell each other ‘go slow she’s hearing’#which is ENTIRELY fair bc. I am hearing. and I do need them to go slower.#but it also makes me laugh bc truly everyone knows within a few minutes.#oh hey the new person? they’re hearing. yeah they’re learning ASL at college. sign slowly for her.#which again makes sense bc a big Deaf culture thing is keeping ppl informed. it’s not gossip it’s getting everyone on the same page.#Deaf ppl do NOT beat around the bush that is like the height of rudeness to them. u say what u mean goshdangit. do not waste their time.#which I appreciate the heck out of bc i don’t have to try and phrase things delicately or w/e#it was also funny bc my mom came w me while I was home for Christmas and they asked her if I was her kid#and she said yes. and the lady running the kid’s craft corner thing was like ‘great you’re doing a craft now’#and I’m sitting there. visibly over 18 years old. amongst several seven year olds. trying desperately to figure out how to say hot glue gun#I made a v pretty pinecone tree it was a lot of fun ^-^
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starlooove · 5 months
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Read one or two fics where they give Duke a personality treat Damian like a human being and stop sucking Tim’s dick for 5 seconds and everything else feels like forcing urself to eat normal food after tasting the fruits of the fae
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luobingmeis · 1 year
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i am suddenly thinking a lot about jiang cheng and jiang fengmian, specifically in how jiang fengmian—while not being outright cruel to jiang cheng—gives us no reason to believe that he is proud of or pleased with jiang cheng due to jiang cheng’s 1) penchant of maintaining a certain status quo/refusal to take risks and 2) the similarities of his personality to yu ziyuan. and yet, the time we see jiang cheng put himself in the danger, take a risk, defy yu ziyuan, is when he is putting himself in yu ziyuan’s own line of fire to protect wei wuxian from zidian, all while the wens are there and the threat they pose is dangerously tangible. and jiang fengmian is not even there to see it, let alone live long enough to hear of the events.
no clown activities (pro/anti character discourse) allowed on this post
#also on an unrelated note i think a lot abt how people who are also jc stans#sometimes try to represent jfm as someone who is actively harsh to jc#most likely to mirror the way yzy treats wwx#and i think what those depictions fail to realize#is that there is a certain heartbreak that comes w/ a parent that is passive#a parent who does not say anything distinctly mean but u know they are disappointed and displeased with u#a parent who will not say something in ur defense#a parent who will not defend u to others#a parent who lets the other say whatever to u and not interfere so waves are not stirred#and i think that is jc’s situation#we see it ourselves- jc is the point of contention yzy uses against jfm to taunt him abt his care towards wwx#and i think it offers a very tragically nice distinction to wwx#we have the harsh domineering physical lady of the house#and then ​we have the passive (almost domestically centrist) man of the house#and i think very often people use this as a pissing content to fight over#*contest#when really neither situation is ideal and neither pride come out of it unaffected#but it’s like. just as people try to push ‘wwx secretly hated lotus pier all along’ pushing jfm as overtly cruel just-#takes away the actual sadness present of a parent who u know deep down will not defend u#(and then jyl is also an interesting third party here-#bc we see jfm stick up for his daughter’s happiness-#and as far as i remember that’s kinda it with jfm and jyl?#but yzy. is also imo clearly displeased with jyl and thinks her neither capable nor powerful)#also i should note. jiang cheng is one of my all time favorite mdzs characters
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bunnihearted · 2 months
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ᯓ★
#i feel the way i feel and i dont owe it to anyone to hide my sadness </3333#also i just have bpd and even somewhere many ppl have that u cant even say anything but im just having a breakdown now 🤷🏻‍♀️#anyway what i wanted to say is that i AM sensitive and emotional and stupid#and it does hurt so much when the person i want and love doesnt feel that way for me#and i feel bad saying stuff like this bc ppl dont really understand but#i dont feel..: a whole lot... for anyone but him thats just how it is#so he IS a loss he IS so hard to lose and thats just how i feel#and it hurts sm bc hes the only one i wanna talk to but i cant#i know this is smth most ppl deal with in life and like it's just part of being a human#i just everyday keep thinking of things that remind me of him or i read a book i wanna tell him abt and then the pain comes back#bc the thing is i kinda only want to talk to him abt it all bc i just dont /feel/ a lot talking to others#that doesnt mean i dont appreciate it or care i just dont know how to explain#maybe it's my avpd? but i just dont feel happy or nice or good or comfortable or excited or interested in the same way :((((#i dont know i barely know what im talking or thinking about#and i keep saying the same things over and over again im just so sad and it feels like i always will be#bc i have bpd and then the pain feels all consuming and like it will never end and its just so hard to deal with#and even if it might be true when ppl say stuff like u deserve love or you're gonna find someone else etc#im not ready to receive it bc i only want this specific person and i get that many ppl deal with unrequited love and its part of life#but i AM scared bc im 25 and i've never ever met anyone i feel even a fraction for what i feel for him#what if im someone who doesnt get many chances w ppl? what if im cursed to be alone and never find anyone i have a mutual connection to????#so therefore i just wanted thought believed and hoped it would be him#and yes i acknowledge that a lot of it was just me wanting that and not realizing reality but its still how i felt#and as a bpd girlie my emotions are all consuming 🥴#so bottom line is i kinda just wanna die bc i wanna talk to him every second bc im crazy and mentally ill and since i cant do that im in sm#pain hahahah :D#and i will complain abt it bc it hurts so much idk what to do!!!!! ☺️
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