#IS THERE SO MANY OTHER THINGS I COULD SPEND $120 THAT ARE SO MUCH MORE USEFUL. YES

[ladylingua]

I have a very genuine question about the tipping post I promise I didnt read it in bad faith: are people who simply cannot afford to tip not “allowed” to eat out? I’m just thinking about how it works where I am from and while tipping is the norm here if someone doesn’t tip because they can’t afford it it really isn’t a big deal (+tipping norm here us only 10%). so if a poor family goes out to eat to celebrate something and they can barely afford the meal would they still be expected to tip 20% because they shouldn’t eat out if they cant afford it? thank you in advance I’m really curious

If it helps, don’t think of the tip as a separate thing. It is part of the cost of your meal. So if you cannot afford to pay for the cost of the meal including the tip you cannot afford to eat at that restaurant. This is something I myself have to calculate when I’m deciding if I want to eat at a particular restaurant- if I have $15 I can’t go to a restaurant and order a $20 entrée and then refuse to pay the remaining cost, and likewise if I have $15 I can’t order a $15 entrée and expect not to pay the server for their service.

Now that doesn't mean families who can't afford a pricy restaurant can't eat out at all. Since it is a % of your bill you can try to go for a cheaper restaurant (smaller bill = smaller tip), or if you go to a counter service place where you serve yourself you’re not expected to tip 20% (sometimes they have a jar out you could kindly throw a dollar or more in, but there is much less expectation to tip because the workers at a place like that receive a full minimum wage, more on that in a sec). I will also say in my lived experience poor families in America understand and tip well, I’ve almost exclusively been under tipped by wealthy people (which is what kicked off the debate on twitter- if your bill is $700 then you obviously can afford to tip a full 20%, no destitute families are spending $700 on one meal).

Technically speaking you can get away with 18% as a tip, and if you go down to 15% your waiter will think you’re cheap and be annoyed (15% definitely implies you were unhappy with their service) but that is the lowest possible threshold of acceptability. 10% is not an acceptable rate here, and 20% is now the expected norm for good service, and going up from there for great service. And I would never, ever not tip at all. I can only imagine not tipping if like the server had done something deeply offensive or dangerous or something. I've never encountered a situation where I felt the server didn't deserve any tip at all.

Because you’ve asked in genuine good faith I’m going to provide some more context to help you understand a bit more why this is the way it is-

Waitstaff in america are wildly underpaid. Our federal government assumes the tips are part of their expected income, and so a) they are taxed on assumed tips and b) it is legal to pay them less than standard minimum wage. Currently the tipped federal minimum wage is $2.13/hr. Now, states set their own individual rates so some states do better, but $2.13/hr is the lowest they can all legally go. And you’ll notice in that link it mentions the assumed tips and taxing them. I said on my original post, when I worked as a tipped waitress I made $2.68/hr and sometimes my biweekly paycheck was like $60 total. Imagine trying to survive on $120 a month, you absolutely cannot. Tips made up my actual wage, and were the paycheck I depended on to pay for my basic needs. I relied directly on customers to choose to do the social convention of tipping for survival, and when someone would choose to do otherwise it was utterly devastating.

Another thing customers sometimes don’t realize is your waiter may not be allowed to keep all of the tip themselves. It’s a common practice to pool tips amongst all the waitstaff and then divide them equally, and many places require that you tip out other employees there. So if you give me $10 as a tip I might be actually giving a large chunk of that to bussers, bartenders, etc. Or maybe we pool tips and someone else stiffed my colleague so now all of us are sharing your $10 tip. So also keep in mind that the money you leave as a tip very often does not go entirely to the actual waiter, so a big tip can actually become pretty small much faster than you would think.

(and that's just legal practices, wage theft and illegal practices run rampant in the restaurant industry, just fyi)

If you are wondering why tipping culture here is so grim, it is because of slavery. Tipping got big here as a way to keep forcing Black Americans into working for free, now with a small tip but still no actual wage. It was designed for oppression. Waitstaff are overwhelmingly not wealthy people. It is very common for them to be on food stamps, require housing assistance, or to otherwise be living under the poverty line. If you are eating out and not tipping because you yourself are poor, you are taking money out of someone else’s poverty wages to do so. When we debate minimum wage here in america, conservatives are really good at painting a picture of waitstaff being perky middle class college kids making an extra buck, or teens from wealthy homes wanting some spending money. There is an implication that they don't really need the money that badly. That is not the reality of who makes up most serving jobs in america. Minimum wage workers are likely to be in poverty, they’re likely to be women and specifically they’re likely to be women of color. Americans of color are significantly more likely to be working at minimum wage than white americans. There is a pretty sizeable number of minimum wage workers who are over 50, and a not insignificant amount of them who are mothers who support their families. There are also those teens who just want extra cash, and they deserve good compensation for their hard work too, don’t get me wrong, but they are only a portion of who makes up the minimum wage workforce.

If you’re like “But that’s such a shitty system, you’re saying it’s pitting poor people against each other for basic human comforts!” yup. I 100% agree. I am a vocal proponent of raising the minimum wage for that reason. I also advocate for a Universal Basic Income, because I understand that when it comes to small mom & pop restaurants the owners aren’t always making a ton of money either and it seems like truly no one is winning in this system. It is set up to oppress and to demean and to grind us all down. There are lots of orgs in America that are fighting to improve the system, or to radically change the system. There are also restaurants that have tried to do things differently- there’s a wine bar in my city that says specifically on their menu that their wine is more expensive because they pay their workers a true livable wage so there is no tipping there. Instead as a customer I pay a higher upfront cost that covers the true expense of running the bar- including server wages. I love that, I wish more places would do things like that. In the meantime, when I’m choosing where to eat I factor in a tip of 20% when calculating my estimated bill, because paying for service is part of the cost.

Refusing to tip fully in america is not doing anything to change the system. It does not make restaurant owners rethink their pay structure, it does not put pressure on our government to fix minimum wage, it does not make a political statement. It just means your server is going home wondering if they can afford their own meal that night.

Thank you for asking for clarity, I hope this helps. Please feel free to ask more if you have any remaining confusion or are curious about other aspects of american culture. If I can answer and the questions are respectful, I am happy to reply!

[megatownac]

Who still plays Pocket Camp

I still play Pocket Camp. I have a full friend list of over 90 people who still play, too. I was surprised yesterday morning when I started up the game and got the message that it was shutting down in a few months.

I've been a Happy Helper member for, apparently, 1,738 days, getting Leaf Tickets every month as part of that plan, so I'm sitting on a stash of over 4,500 tickets still that I can't possibly spend before the game ends and they become worthless.

I also stockpiled snacks. I had over 4,400 gold treats yesterday, 4,000 bronze treats, and 1,980 silver treats. I just found it tedious to give them away, and really only bothered when new characters showed up so that I could level them up to be on par with everyone else. That's also when I would give away all of the themed snacks, so I only have, at most, about 200 of any of those. I last gave them away about two months ago, I think, when the last batch of new animals dropped.

I play the game a lot, actually. I have a special voice trigger for Alexa where I say "Alexa, do the thing," and it starts a 178-minute timer for me. If I say "Alexa, do the other thing," it lists all of my active timers so that I can see how much time is left. I harvest my flowers, tell Alexa to do the thing, and when the timer goes off again, I open the game up. I just hit level 599 today when I gave away another 120 gold treats, 5 at a time to 24 animals, to see if I can give them all away before the game ends.

I've never been good at moderation.

But nothing lasts forever. The game has felt unsustainable for the last couple of years. There's a new set of furniture items each month for the latest event, but for years now each month has had a bug-collecting event, a fishing contest, and a gyroidite-collecting event each and every month. It was a pattern, and I was getting tired of it. How many new items could they possibly make before the game simply became too large to keep updating it? Apparently, two more months' worth.

I still played, though. If nothing else, I justified it by saying I was getting weekly Platinum Points. I spend those points. I've gotten calendars, keychains, posters, all kinds of things with those points. I had to pay shipping, of course, but I still got those things. I guess I'll have to do the actual monthly "quests" in Switch Online or something if I want to keep getting Platinum Points. I sure ain't gonna play Fire Emblem on my phone.

I knew this would happen eventually, and the game did last for seven years, which is incredibly long for a mobile game that hasn't had any major changes to it in so long. I do wish I'd been able to add Hiropi to my Switch friend list, though, or find out who they are. We've given each other a combined total of over 2,700 gifts now, since we've managed to keep it going nearly every day.

I have no idea what the offline version of the game will be. Maybe I'll be able to get all those fortune cookie items I never spent Leaf Tickets on. Or landscape items I never bought. Maybe they'll finish releasing all of the animals. I'm sure there are still some they haven't.

Or maybe, just maybe, I'll find myself with a lot of spare time all of a sudden after seven years of playing the same game.

Wouldn't that be something?

[bratshaws]

through the hourglass 130. brb x oc

a/n:Guys, I need some help. Tumblr isn't delivering my fics to some people, if you see this pls let me know via ask,dm, or just commenting here pls? Idk what to do and I'm kinda...at a loss??? Because tumblr isn't helping...so yeah! Anyway,hope you guys like the chapter! reblogs and comments are super encouraged <3333

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: none. fluff so fluffy it'll rotten you

goodness gracious (pls read this one to know more what this fic is about!!)

chapter

1/

/70/71/72/73/74/75/76/77/78/79/80/81/82/83/84/85/86/87/88

/89/90/91/92/93/94/95/96/97/98/99/100/101/102/103/104/105

/106/107/108/109/110/111/112/113/114/115/116/117/118/119/120/121

/122/123/124/125/126/127/128/129

(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist! )

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-

He tries to remember the time, the last time, he spent Christmas with Bradley. He was around…twelve? Thirteen? It was when he started to get taller and his hair was getting wavier, much like Goose’s. Well, even better than Goose’s. 

Seeing him with a family, a wife and a child, spending Christmas again was…really nice. He was really happy that he finally got that and he was happy that he could be part of it.

He was just…a bit nervous.

When Rooster told him about Beatrice’s family he found it incredibly amusing how his tall nephew appeared to be a bit nervous when meeting them. Then he just took them as his other family and now he was relaxed…but Mav still remembered Rooster telling him about her massive brothers, her uncles and aunts ( one of them was a witch??) and meeting them at their wedding was fine.

But it’s a completely different ordeal when it’s about their Christmas tradition. And Maverick was told, by both Bradley and Beatrice, that he didn’t need to bring anything - especially considering how many people would be there- just their presence was enough. Penny and Amelia were excited, the two hadn’t celebrated Christmas with such a huge family in ages either.

As they parked the car, one behind the other, Maverick steps out to meet Rooster on the sidewalk, “Brad.” he calls quietly. His nephew was holding the passenger door open for the dogs to come out and for Beatrice to pick Nicole up, turning his head with a grin, “Are you sure it’ll be okay to show up empty handed?’

“Huh? Yeah, of course.” Bradley says with a shrug, “The Schiavonis are really cool, they don’t really care as long as you enjoy yourself there….they might give you something though, but they’d never want anything back.”

“Wait,really?”

“Yep,” he pops the ‘p’ when he says so, stepping back so Beatrice walks out with Nicole in toll, “So just accept it, nod your head and be chill. They want you to have fun.” he pushes the door closed, “And you are with us, don’t worry about it.”

“I can’t remember the last time I celebrated Christmas with a huge family.” he pauses, “I…I don’t think I ever did to be honest.”

“It’ll be okay,Mav.” Beatrice’s soft voice says, smiling at him, “You’ll be okay, just stay close to us and you’ll see. My parents will adore you even more, after all you are Nikki’s grandpa too.” Nicole looked up at him with a gummy grin,well, partially gummy now that the little teeth were breaking through, showing just enough on her bottom gum.

That little smile eased him off a bit, “...okay.” he laughs, “I…I’ll do my best.”

“Just follow us,Mav. You’ll be alright.” Rooster smirks, placing a hand on Beatrice’s lower back and guiding her up the front steps, with Maverick,Penny and Amelia following behind them.

Beatrice looked back at the three, Amelia was happily pointing out to her mother the different types of Christmas decoration hanging on the walls and the railing, gesturing to the dangling santa on the roof and the tiny reindeers on the windows. Beatrice smiles, glad they were having a bit of fun at least…her anxiety was, unfortunately, still present.

It wasn’t as strong as it was before, but the closer they got to her parents’ house, the worse it got. She knew what she had to do, she knew how to act and what to say so her parents wouldn’t be suspicious.

Is it going to work? Only the night would tell.

She was thankful that the skirt hid most of her stomach and whatever bump that slowly appeared, but she did tug her blouse a bit just out of habit because she just wanted everything to appear normal. However, her constant tugging called Rooster’s attention, his hand lowering from touching the doorbell as he stared at the movement, “Baby.” she looks up at him in surprise, “You are being anything but subtle.”

‘Crap.” she whispers, chewing her lower lip, “I can’t help it.”

“You can, you are doing fine.” he takes hold of her hand when both hear footsteps approaching the door, “Remember you are with me and Nikki,” Nicole babbled happily, “And with the dogs…you’ll do fine.”

“Okay.”

Seconds after they finished their quiet conversation the door swung open to reveal Claudia. She, much like always, melted upon seeing Nicole, grabbing her from Beatrice to kiss her soft cheeks as the dogs hurried inside, “Come in,come in!” she waves her hand for her daughter and son in law to step inside, “All of you,come on!’

Bradley looks back and sees that Mav is standing there a bit awkwardly, by himself since Penny and Amelia walked inside as soon as Claudia offered a way in. Rooster pauses, then turns his body to reach his uncle, stepping behind him and gently pushing him forward.

His stature, and strength, was more than his uncle’s, so Maverick couldn’t stop when his feet dragged upwards to the stairs, “Brad!”

“You were frozen in place, stop that.”

“I…” Maverick was already on the third step, two more and he’d get to the door, “I just got nervous- this is a nice house.”

“And this is just the outside.”

Beatrice was waiting for them by the door, her mother was chatting with Penny and Amelia. There was something adorable about her parent wanting to know more about her boss,in fact it was really sweet because they didn’t like what she did and now…now it was something else entirely.

But seeing Rooster practically push Maverick up the steps was too funny for her not to smile, stepping back so the older pilot could get inside, his light eyes moving around the area with his brows wide, “Woah.”

Beatrice giggles, looking just like he did at the decoration surrounding them, “Yeah,my mom did go all out.” she says,”I think it’s mainly because she found out you guys were coming over and she wanted to impress.”

“I’ve never seen so much stuff,” he didn’t say in a way to be offensive, he was genuinely gobsmacked by what he was seeing and Rooster loved how his uncle got speechless. The younger pilot pushes the door closed and shrugs off his coat, telling Mav to do the same since the patio was heated, “A heated patio? Holy shit.”

“My parents are full of surprises.”

Maverick, while setting the coat on the hanger, looked up at the many pictures on the wall. It went from the front door to the hallway and living room, a living room he could partially see because of the threshold. He noticed that the dogs, so many dogs, immediately rushed over to him. He knew Jolene,Eleanor and Jack, but he didn’t know the other two pitbulls.

The biggest one of the two sniffed his shoes, with the other not far behind, then trailed its nose up his leg until it reached his hand. And then it tossed Maverick’s hand on top of it’s huge head, its whole body shaking happily, “That’s Pomodoro.” Beatrice smiles, laughing when the other one nudges closer, “And that’s Marinara, they are Jolene’s parents.”

“Ah,I knew I could see a resemblance.” he says, leaning down to gently pet the dogs and sputtering when a large tongue just swiped up his chin and lips, ending on his nose. He laughs, gently pushing Pomodoro away to wipe his face. Seeing that the dogs couldn’t understand that not everyone could have the slobbery kisses so soon, Beatrice tugged the two by the collars.

Soon enough,Rafael made his way inside. He greeted Penny and Amelia - the oldest of the two already found a companion in Claudia, so there was no way he’d interrupt the two- and then turned to the others,”Tesoro.” he engulfs Beatrice in a hug, “Hello,Bea.”

“Hi,papa.”

“I see your mother already snagged Nicole to herself.”

“She did.” she laughs, leaning back, “You know she’s not going to let go.”

“Yes,I unfortunately do.” He steps away to greet his son in law, repeating the motion but clapping the younger man on the back, “Bradley.”

“Hi,Rafael.”

The Schiavoni patriarch held Rooster tight, the paternal feeling in that hug made Bradley smile against his father-in-law’s shoulder. He truly was part of the family now, “Ah, you, remember my uncle,right?’ he gestures towards Pete, “From the wedding.”

“I do! And from your birthday.” he smirks, stepping away from Brad to hold out his hand for Maverick to hold, “Pete,right?”

“Yeah.”

The height difference was almost hilarious, Rafael was just a few inches shorter than Rooster and several inches taller than Mav. But he shook his uncle’s hand, then the two talked for a bit, with Rafael’s deep laugh breaking the comfortable silence, “Good, good, don’t worry, you are all welcome here. Now,” he looks back at the door, seeing two little bodies rushing over, “Someone else wanted to say hi.”

“Auntie!Prince Rooster!”

Bianca was so much bigger. She was already eight years old, something neither of them could grasp, with Éwoyn being only one and a half and already matching her sister in speed. Bianca giggled, rushing over to Beatrice and launching herself on her legs. Beatrice had to admit that it was a bit harder to pick her up now, Bianca was already reaching her midriff- and she had to be extra careful because of the twins.“Oof!” but she did try, but chose to just hold her against her stomach, “You look so tall,Bibi!”

“I am tall!” she giggled, “Hi Prince Rooster!”

“Hi,Bibi.” he smirks, then looks down at Éwoyn, picking her up when she was close enough, “Hi,Éwoyn.” 

“Hi!” she was obviously more vocal than Nicole, since she was already one year and a half, but it was still adorable to see her talk. Both girls had their blonde hairs pulled in pigtails, with Éwoyn’s being high on her head and her sister’s down on her nape. Bianca’s hair got so long it was already touching her upper back.

“Where’s Nikki?”

“With Nonna,” Beatrice points towards her mother and father, Nicole was peacefully resting on Claudia’s shoulder, eyes closed and little hands on her arm. Penny,Amelia and Pete followed the two outside while Bea and Rooster remained with the girls, “We should follow them.”

“Yeah!” Bianca smiled,”Auntie!Wait!Look what I can do.” the eight years old backed away from Beatrice, “Look!Look!” she pulled on her jeans a bit to keep them in place, then just turned onto a handstand, her legs dangling in the air, “Look!’

“Oh my god, that’s amazing Bibi!”

“Look!” and she starts to walk on her hands towards the kitchen.

Both Beatrice and Rooster watched with their eyes still on Bianca, Éwoyn wriggled to be put down and Rooster did so…and she followed her sister, trying to do the same but instead walking in all fours. He chuckles softly, then turns to Beatrice, “How bad do you think Leonardo is right now?”

‘Sleep wise?’

“Yep.”

“Awful.”

They shared a laugh as Beatrice hugged her torso, feeling nervous about going out on the patio where the rest of her family was. She chewed her lower lip, turning her green eyes towards Rooster and frowned, “...we’ll be okay.” she whispers, “I’m trying to repeat that,Roos but the anxiety has been…eating me alive almost.I feel it clawing inside of me.”

“Your anxiety sucks,gorgeous.” he whispered,kissing her forehead, keeping his lips there and rubbing her arms with his huge hands, “My girl,you are going to be okay.” she made a little noise, then hugged his middle, pressing her cheek to his chest so she could hear his heart, “Gorgeous, it’ll be okay.”

“I know,I’m trying to tell myself that,Roos.”

“I know.”

“Do you think they’ll figure something is up?”

He hums, “If we stay here for a while longer, yes.” he says, “You know how they can be…all of them, Mav included.”

Beatrice sighs but nods,looking back to where the kitchen was then at Rooster, both of them hearing her mother and Penny talking there, Nicole’s gentle babbling adding onto the conversation. “Okay.” she inhales shakily, “Let’s go.”

“I’m right behind you.” he’d be her shield, like always, he’d let her know he’s there if she wants to step back and breathe, she couldf lean on him without worries. They wander into the kitchen, Amelia is chewing on some almond cookies her mother made, clearly loving it - of course she’d toss those as a snack before the actual feast- with Penny and Claudia leaning on the counter, talking.

Nicole turned her head the second her parents walked into the room, “Aaa!Mama!” she giggles, wriggling and trying to reach them, the movement called her grandmother’s attention and she laughs, stepping away for a second to hand her over to Beatrice.

“There you go.” Nicole immediately hugs her mother’s neck, Rooster smirks as he holds out his finger for her to grab, even letting out a quiet ‘ow’ because of the sheer strength in that tiny hand, “She’s very vocal.”

“That she is.” Beatrice smiles, throwing a quick look towards the patio to check if everyone was there, of course they were, and then she swallowed quietly, “They all got here quick,” she noticed that Mav was now sitting next to her father, the two of them acting as if they’ve known each other for ages.

Beatrice inhales shakily, looking up at Rooster with her brows slightly furrowed. Her husband just smiles, leaning down to kiss her forehead and guiding her out towards the patio. She greeted everyone she hadn’t before, in fact she even saw Bianca still walking on her hands around the area with her mother asking her to stop before she got hurt. 

She then met eyes with her aunt.

And she knew,she knew her aunt could notice something. 

Because Martha stood to her feet, almost gliding over and held her shoulders, air kissing Beatrice then Bradley, before leaning down to meet Nicole’s eyes, ‘Hello my little star.” she smiles, scrunching her nose when Nicole touched her face, “You are one bright little comet yes you are.”

“Hi auntie.” Bea whispered, “You look good.”

“Thank you, you two do too.” Martha smiles, stepping closer so she could whisper something to them, “My gift will come before the two of you leave the house, I hope you both understand.” they didn’t, “It’s a personal one, I know you two will like it.”

Beatrice parted her lips to whisper a soft ‘thanks,zia’ and then looked over at Rooster. Her husband’s shifty glance only made Beatrice lick her lips and look around for a seat, “Oh…um, there’s an extra seat?”

“Didn’t you hear?’ Marina’s voice came from behind, “Michael got a girlfriend.”

“Wait,what?! Since when?”

“They started dating a few weeks ago, they met at a grocery store or something. He’s going to introduce her to us tonight.” Marina playfully elbows her sister’s arm, “Looks like your way of showing Bradley off inspired him.”

Well that was unexpected but not unwelcome.

They’d all be too busy asking Michael things to pay attention to her…and she felt bad that she’d use her brother as bait. She even told Rooster as such when they sat down, bringing Nicole closer to her face to hide her mouth. Rooster sputtered a laugh, “You are too cute.”

“I’m serious!” she whispers

“Baby, you won’t use him as bait.” he kept his mouth movements to a minimum, smiling up at Claudia when she offered him some water, “It’s not like you are using him for target practice.” Beatrice tilted her head at him, arching her brows with her lips pursed…”...well,maybe but he won’t be upset about it. Besides, aren’t you excited to meet his date?”

“Maybe? I’m just surprised he didn’t tell me about it.” she says, then sighs, “Sorry,I’m still talking about it.”

“Mhm.”

“You are not bothered?”

He licks his lips after taking a sip of his water, “I love the sound of your voice.” he smirks, leaning down to kiss her red cheeks, “So no,I’m not bothered.”

Beatrice could only laugh shyly over his response, holding Nicole close to her chest and inhaling deeply…yeah…all she had to do was act normal. That was all.

[cryptidsurveys]

Monday, September 16th, 2024.

When you get married what do you think you’ll put most of your focus and money into? I can't really answer or predict this now because so much would depend on our life circumstances.

Would you freak out if you were to get pregnant by the last person you hooked up with? Uh yeah. For more than one reason, lmao.

Who in your life causes you the most stress or negative feelings? Even though there are people in my life who cause me stress (one or two in particular), I think a lot of it has to do with my mindset. I've come a long way, but I'm still learning how to put things into proper perspective, be secure in myself and my own abilities, brush things off, etc.

How many chances do you tend to give people before enough is enough? It just depends - on what they've done, how much they mean to me, whether or not they're genuinely trying to change... Also, speaking of "enough is enough," following my blow-up over Diane, she basically won't even look at me. Pretty sure she even went so far as to intentionally turn her back to me when I brought a kitty up to the office the other day (he chills up there during work hours). Like giiiirl, I only have so many olive branches, especially when you consider the fact that I shouldn't have to be the one extending them in the first place.

Have you ever had a teacher that also taught your parents? No.

What’s the most you’d be willing to spend on a pair of shoes? I retired a pair of hiking shoes last year that cost around 120 dollars, but they also lasted for about a decade. I'd be willing to spend that kind of money again for a good quality shoe.

What’s something you complain about frequently? Work drama and feeling burned out. Welcome to the real world, I guess…? It still beats rotting in bed while slowly sinking further and further into insanity, but…maybe not by much. :P No, but on a serious note - it's better. Truly. I might feel frustrated, upset, confused, and exhausted at times, but at least I don't feel utterly hopeless and suicidal. I'd rather endure the chaos of life and human interaction than go back to what I was doing before. It's just hard to adjust to social dynamics after spending so many years in isolation and missing out on so much development and experience. People don't really care about your past, your mental health, your explanations - they just want you to act right.

Have you had any confrontations with anyone lately? Not directly, but indirectly. The Diane situation. The Alex situation.

Do you have anything planned for the summer? Summer is nearly over. My autumn plans mainly consist of trips to the Mountain Park to enjoy the changing leaves, attending the Chili Festival, and eating as many fun holiday foods as I can.

Do you walk fast or slow? Fast.

What form of public transport do you use most often? I've only used public transportation a few times in my life.

Is there any alcohol in the fridge? I don't think there's any in the entire house.

Is any part of you sad at all? Yeah, but it's not a predominant part. The last few days have been better. Little annoyances here and there, but nothing terrible. Plus, I only have to get through one half day (Tues) and one full day (Sat) of working with Alex and then she's GONE.

Are you someone who worries too often? Most definitely. It probably wouldn't be inaccurate to say that 90% of my problems come from worrying/overthinking. If I could just shut my stupid brain OFF…well, then I would be too powerful. ;D

Have you ever been completely alone with a boy in his room? Yeah.

Is the last person you kissed older than you? Yeah.

Are you the type of person who seeks out revenge? Not really. I even try to refrain from taking pleasure in someone else's negative karma. Not because I'm such a wonderful person, but because I don't want to face my own karmic backlash.

Do you like falling asleep listening to the rain? Yes. <3

Do you honestly have feelings for someone at the moment? I don't.

Are there things in your life that you’ll never be able to get over? Probably.

Are you afraid of falling in love? Yeah.

If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be? A million bucks.

Did you ever build furniture forts as a child? I loved doing that! We'd even make forts out on the back deck and sleep in them when the weather was nice.

Are there any songs that inspire you? You could say that. Mainly classical songs. Sometimes they give my life this movie-esque vibe.

Is there anything on television worth watching at the moment? I wouldn't know.

Have you ever had an online meet-up? Like a meet-up group type of thing? No. But I've met people in person after originally meeting them online.

What is bothering you as of now? Nothing serious. Even my headache from earlier feels a lot better.

How does your hair currently look? Short and brown.

Are you close to any of your aunts/uncles? I'm not.

Do you plan on losing weight any time soon? There's almost always a desire, but I tend to maintain within a range.

When was the last time you used a disposable camera? Years and years ago.

What should you be doing right now, besides this survey? I should probably do some housecleaning, but…eh. I just want to relax.

Who did you last say goodnight to? My dad and my kitties.

Do people gripe about your work ethic often? That was the last thing Diane said before I flipped out; something like, "It looks like nobody does any work back here." Maybe it wasn't meant for me specifically, but oooh boy. I give too much of my time (for free!!!) to be muttered about like that.

Do you tend to wear a lot of make up? I don't wear makeup.

Is it still possible to kiss the last person you kissed? I am waaay overthinking the "possible" bit because yeah, I suppose it's technically possible, but would I want to? No.

Why aren’t you texting the last person you kissed? Because.

Where were you last night? I was at the animal shelter until 5:30pm and then I was at home.

Do you own any jeans from American Eagle? I think I have a light blue pair somewhere.

Do you hate it when people smoke around you? No. I smoke as well, so.

Have you ever been to Florida? No.

When’s the last time you screamed really loud? Idk.

What will you be doing tomorrow? I'll be at the shelter from 7:30am(ish)-12:00pm.

Are you friends with the people you were friends with 2 years ago? Yeah.

Do you honestly have feelings for someone at the moment? No.

Where did you buy the shirt you’re wearing right now? My dad got it from me from a store in the mall.

Are you wearing jeans? I'm wearing dark blue sweats.

Have you ever kissed the last person you texted? Yeah.

Has anyone ever called you a whore? Yeah.

Who were you last in a car with? My dad. I went to lunch with my parents at Fuel & Iron last Thursday.

Are you in a good mood right now? I'm in a pretty decent mood.

Has anyone ever told you that you have pretty eyes? Yeah.

Have you ever played the guitar? Not very well, but yes.

Could you handle living with the last person you talked to on the phone? I think it's best that my mom and I live apart.

Do you ever take your anger out on others? I try not to, but there are times when it happens.

What grade is the last person you texted in? My mom hasn't been in school for a long, long time.

Has anyone seen you in your underwear lately? No.

Where’s your phone right now? On my dresser, charging.

Have you ever liked someone older than you? Yeah.

Are you the oldest child? The youngest? In the middle? Only child? I'm the oldest child of two.

Would you rather be called ‘honey’ or ‘baby’? Honey.

[endwithajadestrick]

Complaining About the Pacing in Ahsoka

I know that I am being a real (medium-sized) curmudgeon about this, but I have chosen to embrace it. Manager, I would like to log some complaints re: the latest episode of Ahsoka.

Spoilers ahead:

This is more of a general gripe, but it really hit me this episode that this show is so slowly paced. Every episode could have been half the runtime without cutting any character beats or plot information. This feels especially apparent when you consider that most Clone Wars and Rebels episodes really are about half the length of one Ahsoka episode, about 20 vs. 40 mins. And episodes of those series are not light on plot or action. Clones and Rebels were, however, plotted more around mini arcs, usually of 2-3 episodes (because they were gearing those shows for kids), which would necessitate that the writers' room keep things tight. You set your board, get in, and get out. But Ahsoka only has one story arc for its eight-episode run and just not enough depth of character drama or pace of action to fill that runtime out. (It is probably worth mentioning here that Dave Filoni is the only credited writer on the series.)

You can especially feel the ponderous slowness in the establishing shots. Why do they go on for so long! It's usual to have a shot or two giving us an idea of the landscape our heroes are in, but in most films and shows those shots only come out to a few seconds of screen time--because we don't need them to be longer in order to get the information they're supposed to transmit. Further environmental detail can be picked out while you are watching your characters do other things.

This episode spends about two minutes just showing us Sabine walking through the Noti village. I know that doesn't sound like a lot of time, but in TV time a lot can happen in two minutes. For example:

Here's a compilation of the Finn vs Captain Phasma fight moments from The Last Jedi.

It is 2 minutes and 34 seconds long--including bits that were cut from the theatrical version of the film! How many beats, actions, and dramatic reversals are fit into those couple of minutes? Quite a few!

By contrast, nothing happens during Sabine's introduction to the Noti village. We aren't seeing anything with each changing shot that feels new or emphasized like it's information that we're going to need to remember later on. It's just wasted time, and I feel like it's anecdotally emblematic of a larger problem with the show. Lots of dead air between actions, wasted time that could have been trimmed in the writing or editing phase.

The first Star Wars movie is about two hours long, and I reckon about as much happens in that film as has happened so far in Ahsoka, which is about twice that length (around 260 mins to New Hope's 120). It's easy to overlook in light of all the other cool stuff A New Hope has going for it, but a lot of what makes that first movie work so well as an action adventure is how fast it's taking you from moment to moment, non-stop from gun fight, to character meeting, to escape, to subterfuge, a brief respite where our guys philosophize, and so on. Ahsoka is already working with a lot less charm and verve in front of and behind the camera than that film. It really can't afford to be lackadaisical with its pacing.

As stated above, I am a curmudgeon, and a lot of my problems with this show can probably be chalked up in part to the fact that it just didn't get me in its pocket out the gate. I wasn't especially charmed or intrigued by anything going on in episodes one or two, and I was subsequently less inclined to roll with the rough bits further down the line.

I want to be on board with it, and it has a lot of aspects I genuinely enjoy that make me believe that with a little spit and polish the finished product could have been shaped into something genuinely fun. I like Ray Stevenson's Baylan Skoll (Titus Pullo stans, arise!). His ambiguous schemes for the future are genuinely intriguing and ominous, and he feels like a fresh take on the dark-sider baddy, next to the cackling Emperor, cold-blooded cyborg Darth Vader, and rage monster Kylo Ren. He's very "I am the only one who can truly see the big picture." Oh ho, betcha you can't! But, as the kids say, let him cook.

I also think Eman Esfandi was perfectly cast as the live-action Ezra. In just a couple minutes of presence, he exudes warmth and charm (though I could have done without the blue contact lenses. They just look wrong, and would anyone have cared that Ezra's eyes are brown now?).

But none of what should be the big beats in this show have really landed for me so far, including this week's big reunion between Sabine and Ezra. Seriously girl, you gambled with the fate of your entire galaxy for just the shot at saving this man, and the most you can summon upon seeing him again for the first time in (checks official calendar) "9 to 12 years" is some middlingly witty banter and a lukewarm hug? I'm not someone who thinks that Ezra and Sabine's relationship is/should be romantic, but come on. Tears should have been shed! This has been Sabine's raison d'etre for the whole show. This, not becoming a Jedi, is what we are told she really cares about. If she won't get emotional about it, why should I?

And for the record, I don't want to put the blame for this on either Esfandi or Liu Bordizzo. I suspect that it's a writing and directing problem. And on that note, this week's episode was directed by Jennifer Getzinger, an experienced TV director with a pretty solid track record, whose resume includes both high emotional melodramas and prestige series, so... paging Mr. Filoni?

There are numerous talented actors and artists who have given a lot to this show, and many fans ready and eager to give it love. I just wish that the story were giving as much back to them.

[polyklok]

This one was so much more detailed and I don’t know why-

Pickles “The” Drummer, physique/appearance

Nathan

Skwisgarr

Toki

Murderface

He got his name legally changed to the dumbest thing possible-

His age was actually a debate in the fandom during the early days, but that dwindled down greatly once a video of him was taken, drunk as all hell, yelling “I’M TWENTY-FUCKING-NINE YEARS OF OLD AND GODDAMN PROUD OF IT!” to a bartender asking for age identification. He’s 31 now. (By now, I mean like…10ish years ago, when the show was out)

5’4, short guy. Especially when compared to his band members. During shows, he started to wear heeled boots that make him 5’8. Still wears normal shoes most days, though. And still gets shit from the other guys for it.

Only 120 lbs. He’s generally pretty scrawny, although his biceps are nicely toned from years of going ham on the drums. Also has a bit of a beer gut, just a little squishy.

FtM, has been on T for a while and has gotten top surgery done. More headcanons regarding his gender journey later!

Let’s talk about his hair for a while-

No one in his family knows why his hair is…that color. Like, they have the ginger gene on his mom’s side. His mom and brother both have nice, brownish-red hair. But he came out with a head full of neON ORANGE HAIR. 

It’s very thick and frizzy. When it is in it’s natural state, its a pretty much a lion’s mane. Many people thought he looked like that on purpose during his Snakes ‘N Barrels days to fit in with the ‘glam rock’ fashion. But actually, he started playing glam rock because his hair looks like that.

As for facial hair, he’s very proud of it. It took a long time to grow out properly, so he takes really good care when maintaining it. (Ignore the fact that it’s a different color in the pic. That was my mistake.)

Cannot say the same for his skin. It’s very dry and sort of…leathery? He spends lots of time outside with absolutely no sunscreen, so my man has been BAKED (in more than one way ;))

Also from this, he’s very tan and freckled. It’s cute.

He has a tiny little button nose. Sometimes, he even twitches it like a rabbit. Literally so precious.

His lips are dry and cracked from years and years of smoking various substances. He prays to gods of burt’s bees chapstick.

Also, canon to the show, but he has a very goofy, crooked smile!

Doesn’t take that good of care for his dreadlocks. He spent so much of his life fussing over his hair, he’s honestly sick of it. He only goes to get them redone when they start to seriously stink.

To contrast Skwisgaar; I will say, he has the fattest ass in the band. Murderface is a close second. That is all.

He loves his piercings. Got his ears done when he was a teenager to piss off his parents, did his eyebrows later on. It’s seriously his favorite thing about himself, physically speaking.

He has all sorts of clothes, many of which he altered himself. From his muscle-tees, baggy jeans, leather pants, crop-tops, even a few skirts. He sticks to the same basic getup, but will shock both bandmates and fans occasionally by bringing out some seriously fabulous outfits.

In universe, there are several online accounts completely dedicated to him wearing feminine clothing. He single-handily brought back cheetah-print leggings.

He’s very talented at eye makeup. Doesn’t do it so much nowadays, but still enjoys a little bit of glittery eyeshadow. As a treat.

Call me weird, but I think I’m gonna include a…smell headcanon in all of these. Whatever.

Usually, he’ll smell like alcohol and weed. Sometimes vomit or piss as well. It’s the truth, hun.

But let’s not fool ourselves; he has a collection of very old, very fruity perfumes that he sprays on himself occasionally when he doesn’t feel like showering. Which is often. So he smells like whiskey, piss, and “cherry kiss dream”

Conclusion; he’s one of the few people on Earth who could acceptably wear low-rise jeans. He deserves it.

[drabbles-mc]

For the Fanfiction Wrapped ask meme: 2, 3, 18, 28, 29, and 30. (Couldn't pick just one!)

nothing but love and kisses for you 🥰

2. How many works did you publish this year?: i'm currently sitting somewhere in the 120-130 ballpark! (stats slightly skewed from posting new chapters of old fics, and the fact that i have a couple ideas i'd like to publish before the year is out sksksk)

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?: OOOOOOOOOoooooo. God. The way I know I'm gonna put more than one here because I have no self control 😂 But i WILL say, the first one that came to mind was my Carmy/Luca fic Closing the Gap. I just. Yes. I'm very very proud of that one. I love them so much. Also up there on the list is my Bucky/Nat fic Over and Over and Over Again. Because I love Bucky and Natasha in general but this was also my first time ever trying to write a time loop fic and i DIDNT chicken out on it. 😌 There are others but I will leave it at that lmao

18. The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?: I wrote for more NMX characters this year than any year prior. You can attest to that because I bombard you with all of the fics lmaoooo. But no matter how many NMX fics I write, I still spend a good amount of time in existential crisis mode staring at the doc because I am always in a constant state of panic writing them. Min and Claudio both had me

28. Favorite work you wrote this year?: I love all of my children equally. But I will say that two of the fics that I had the most fun writing this year were my Steve Murphy/Reader fic Bad Guy Treatment. The fact that a smut fic is making the top of my list of faves is truly innedsane to me lmao. Another one is my Gilly Lopez/OC fic Far From Over. Ironic title considering it is an unfinished multichap but i WILL get back to it. Manifesting! And I truly don't think it would be Fic Time With Tay if I didn't shout-out one of my angst fics. Carrillo & Diego take the cake in the category with Grave Mistakes. I killed him. I killed him and actually sort of enjoyed doing it sksksk

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?: fighting the urge to scan through all my fics for my fave dialogue lines but we all know i would drown myself in dialogue if i could 😂 But this little excerpt from my Carmy fic The Bridge is very near and dear to me. That entire fic is, honestly. But I'm really proud of this little snippet:

He wondered how quiet it was when Mikey was there. Did he have to wait for traffic to slow down? Did he even care? He probably didn’t care. Why would he? He wondered if Mikey still would’ve pulled the trigger if he’d gone out onto the bridge in the middle of the afternoon like this. Carmy couldn’t picture killing himself in that moment, not with the sun and the pigeons and the traffic. Not because it was all too beautiful to leave behind, but because God there were just so many eyes on him even if they weren’t really looking at him. He wished Mikey was there. He wished he’d come back so Carmy could push him into traffic himself for all that his brother had put everyone through.

30. Biggest surprise while writing this year?: Top Gun: Maverick. That' it. That's the post. 😂 lmao but on a serious note when i went to see the movie i did NOT think i was ever going to end up writing fic for it and yet!! here we are!!!! and i've truly been enjoying it. But I think the other thing that caught me by surprise was how much I was able to write for the July Smut Challenge, and how much I truly enjoyed writing it all. I don't consider myself a smut writer but it was such a blast!

Thank you for these. It will keep me warm until spring. 🥰

AO3 Wrapped Asks

[columbiafawn3]

I rlly want to order these SHISEIDO lip glosses and have them shipped to our hotel in the UK, but I can’t bring myself to spend $100 on lip glosses, especially given that I just asked French Sophie to order two things from country road for me back home, totalling to $120. I’m quickly spending my Mecca money I earnt in the week before Christmas.

Like it all adds up; and I don’t really have a problem with the pricing of the lip glosses £20 ea. like yes not cheap, but that’s sort of their retail price. So $110 for 3 is about the retail price in Australia.

My makeup habit is becoming very expensive I must say. And for what? Just to put stuff on my face. It’s funny because in Vienna I really haven’t even missed my crazy eye makeup looks. I feel like just a normal guy here, so I don’t really need to wear bold makeup to make myself feel interesting or different. I’m sort of appreciating the feeling of fitting in for a while. Who knows, maybe I’ll quickly overcome it and want to be a freak once more. It’s just nice to feel like I’m not seen as gay as soon as I walk into the room and that’s my only characteristic. I think in Australia, and probably in the UK and America too, there’s such a pressure to be masculine and any deviation from those standards is seen as gay. Gay is the antithesis of masculinity. And I think that’s really messed me up historically. I’m only just now coming to question it and see that I don’t need to relinquish my « right to masculinity » if I want to live authentically as a gay man. Sorry idk how we got there from lip glosses…

So, yeah I want the lilac one and the blue holographic one. After all, it was the blue holographic one that started my whole obsession with these shiseido lip glosses. The lilac one I think would be interesting because purple really suits my skin tone, and I feel like a purple glossy lid would look quite nice on me.

It’s funny because Josh thought my glossy eyelids were just sweat, and I sort of forgot that people probably don’t immediately understand my makeup through an editorial lens like I do. They just take it at face value, and even I can admit that at face value, my makeup doesn’t rlly make too much sense.

I know that at some point my makeup phase will pass and I’ll be left with all of these makeup items and nothing to do with them. I already declutter my makeup semi regularly and am amazed how many things I just don’t use. Makeup is essentially just a continuation of my tendency to obsessively buy something and become fixated on a particular thing, build up a big collection and then move on like it never happened.

Im wondering if I should try to channel all of that makeup energy into my writing, or some other form of art that isn’t so consumption-focused.

I would like to get into painting and art history. I went to the art gallery today in Vienna and was struck by how little I understand painting as an art form. I really couldn’t tell what was special about the paintings that made some more important than others, so I’d like to train my eye rather than rely on people telling me that Holbein is good for example.

And if all else fails, maybe I could read and develop an appreciation for literature.

I feel like I’ve always struggled against makeup, struggled with how authentic it is as an expression of myself. Like is putting lip gloss on my eyes really the height of my creative realisation?

It feels almost like I’ve become estranged from my intellectual side.

In other news, I’ve ordered the Nars Ecstasy and Domination eyeshadows on UK ebay.

Ecstasy is a shade I’ve always coveted but could never get my hands on. Domination is a fuchsia matte, which is actually a colour that suits me surprisingly well. I’m hoping it will be a single eyeshadow version of a shimmer fuchsia in the Nars Afterglow palette.

Im still torn about the lip glosses, because $110 is a lot of money that I sort of just don’t have, and also because I dont know how responsible it is to continue squandering my fortune on cheap throwaway makeup that I often ask my myself if I like in the first place.

Fashion in general feels like a financial sinkhole. What do I really get out of owning an extensive and expensive wardrobe? Sure I feel more confident when I go outside, and it’s fun to dress I and feel good, but is spending my income on new clothes really what I should be doing? Like I should actually be investing my money and focusing on setting myself up for a financial future. In 10 years I won’t say « I’m so glad I bought those shiseido lip glosses I ended up throwing away », but I will say « I’m so glad I saved all that money so I can afford a house deposit ». Half of my life is the opportunities, and then the other half is what I choose to do with those opportunities. I have quite a habit for squandering money, and with every passing phase I promise myself that this will be a responsible phase, only to disappoint myself.

So, in summary, will I get the shiseido lip glosses? Probably not in the end. Maybe I will, but for now I’ll hold off. I’ve survived just fine without them, and it’s not likely they will magically resolve my problems.

Im also feeling drawn to this polo shirt by CR, which is $100. Recently I’ve been trying to take on board my Kibbe body type analysis that said that I should go for classic styles with subtle twists and details. I’ve definitely got the simplicity down pat, now it’s about adding those interesting touches. And this polo shirt seems to tick that box.

Sorry the photos are going to be all down the bottom because tumblr has trouble when I try to put photos and text.

For the polos I was torn between the light shade and the navy. I feel like the light shade is interesting, but I wonder if it would look a bit daggy and do the design a disservice. The navy is a bit less distinctive, more classic, but isn’t that what we’re going for? I’ll probably get the navy in the end, just because I know it’s safe and I trust that it won’t arrive in the mail and be a disaster.

The thing that scares me about the navy one is that it says it’s low in stock online, but I’m waiting for it to go on sale. They’re having their Boxing Day sale atm, and it’s not reduced. So now I’m wondering if it will ever go on sale and if I should wait it out, maybe risk it going out of stock. There’s also a lilac shirt I’m interested in that only recently dropped (photo will be included dw), and I think that one will only be reduced (if ever) towards the start of Autumn, maybe mid Feb. Ugh life is hard for a consumer queen like me. See why I’m thinking of switching to books or writing or anything less consumption based? I’m frittering away $100 here and there, and my quality of life hasn’t exactly skyrocketed with each purchase. I appear to be firmly stuck on the hedonic treadmill.

[industryandenterprisedavidsmith]

Placement reflective logg: Hours worked: 5 Hours.

Two in person meetings at SWG3. the first with the Invisible City Glasgow based tour group from 11:15 to 13:15.

and the other with different community groups and the leaders and

Before the Meeting me and the placement holder discussed my future plans for the Glasgow shipbuilding related art. I showed some sketches I've made of the new Type 26 frigates that were built in Govan for the Royal navy and recently launched, with more currently under construction. I was also encouraged to visit local library's and the library of my college to do more research into the River Clyde's History of shipbuilding and find archived photos and footage of the shipbuilding Industry. and that I could include a QR code in my work to show information I had gathered about shipbuilding.

We developed a plan where I could gather research for y project by visiting the transport museum, then going to a shipbuilding museum in Govan using the new Govan to Patrick footbridge.

I'm planning on going to these museums to gather some research tomorrow while everything from today is still in my head. the time I spend there will also count as my placement hours.

The first meeting was with invisible city, a group of Glasgow tour guides that give tours around popular areas of Glasgow. who were at SWG3 to get a tour and to discuss the Clyde tunnel bike path mural art project I am also taking part in. I also tagged along on a tour of the SWG3 building as well. I also learned this tour group have collaborated with SWG3 many times in the past.

photos I took while getting a tour of SWG3 and the Yard works, which is the large open for making safe and legal graffiti Art. done by the 120 Artists that are the SWG3 Artist mentoring program.

Next was a meeting about Collecting stories about the River Clyde from communities of Govan and Patrick, attending this meeting were people from these communities such as school leaders and people the councils of these communities.

they discussed with SWG3 about collecting stories from these communities and creating art from these storie using micro commissions of local artists, Art that takes the from of painted Installations and the use of technology to make interactive sound installations and augmented reality projects. Using a Glasgow school of Art student who has experience with these methods that is also doing a Student placement.

they talked about using the tunnels intersections to host raves and live performances and to house sound art installations. I have never been trough the mile long Clyde tunnel pedestrian path and I was advised not to do so alone. they also talked about using the "Who owns the Clyde" podcast to gather and share these stories.

this is all part of a planned open air Arts district for Glasgow that loops around Patrick and Govan via the Clyde tunnel and the new Govan Patrick bridge.

Most the people at these meetings were at the opening ceremony for the bridge that I never attended. I can reflect back and wish I attended it.

I learned more about the street art projects happening in Glasgow and about the Yard works Festival that Happens at SWG3 during the first weekend of May, this is basically and street art festival with lots of shipping containers being used as canvases to made street art by artists that are part of the SWG3 artist mentoring program. including 20 international Artists. I doubt I will be able to attend this event but I would like to. It runs for three days.

I can reflect back on this days events and note a few things.

the journey to SWG3 from paisley is quicker than I thought, causing me to be 25 minutes early.

To arrange a part of the building to meet when I arrive.

to use audio recordings, AI apps to make Realtime accurate notes. rather than the pages of messy writing I have made

Made me realise I have done drawings without much research into the long and storied history of the shipbuilding industry in Glasgow. other than the newest Naval Warships now being built by BAE Systems.

[bones4uuu]

Physical media for the win today, but they will succumb to being chopped up for my vision board in the next couple days.

For some reason I have a constant need to change something about myself or my life every couple months. It's not like I'm not satisfied with myself. I very much like who I am but it just feels like every couple months or so I have to drastically change something or I will go insane. It's all on impulse. Once I get an idea I must act on it or else it will nag in the back of my brain till it gets addressed.

I think it stems from my adhd. From what I read online and see from other who also have it. I don't feel like delving too much into it. I used to do that all the time, try and figure why I am the way I am and why this illness (I guess?) makes me act the way I do. But I've just come to accept that I will be like this the rest of my life.

Anyways, so I got an idea today, I've always collected magazines when my favorite celebrity is on the cover. I have a very extensive Harry Styles and Timothee Chalamet collection if I'm being honest. But I decided why the fuck am I not buying and collecting more magazines for shit I'm into. I love anything and everything fashion along with interior design. I have since I was a small child and could form a coherent thought and interest. So today I went to Barnes and Nobles and picked up a couple magazines and a new book that looked very interesting from what I read on the back. ANYWAYS, back to the magazines. I grabbed these 3 because I gravitated to them the most and were the least expensive from the ones I wanted. I want them to make collages with in my journal but now I'm not sure if I will got through with that, I can't decide at this current moment.

I also have this urge to collect physical media any chance I get if it is something I love and enjoy so that years from now. So that if I ever have kids, that they will have physical evidence of shit their cool Mother/Grandmother loved and enjoyed enough to collect and keep for many years so that they could inherit it and hopefully cherish it like it did. Or maybe if it is worth a shit ton of money they can sell it and buy something they love with it. I have a vinyl collection currently at I think 120 maybe 125, idk I'm not sure.

I don't know what I am saying anymore but this whole blog is my personal public diary of shit that is too much for me to write down because my handwriting is actually terrible, so terrible I can't even read it half time and my brain works faster than I can write. I also need a hobby that isn't spending money because I cannot keep up with that even though I love it. I also have been out of high school 3 years now and am now just going to school this fall and my major is English so I really need to use my brain and freshen up my writing and research skills lol. I honestly didn't know I would type up this much work vomit when I went to make this post but I think that is a good thing. If anyone sees this for some reason please ignore it, it is just a bunch of nonsense and only needs to make sense to me but if it makes sense to you then hell yeah.

ANYWAYS, peace and love xxx

[nickgerlich]

A Convenient Truth

Next time you are in your vehicle, take a look around and start counting how many convenience stores you pass en route to your destination. They are on practically every street corner, and there are often two or more sharing the same intersection. C-stores are among the most necessary of retail establishments today, especially since most now sell gasoline.

It wasn’t always this way. The first 7-Eleven opened in 1927. It and the ones that followed were tiny by today’s standards, did not sell gas, and were not beholden to street corner locations. Often they were in the middle of a block, which now seems ill-conceived in that it could not attract people from two streets.

Today, c-stores are much larger, have much broader selections of merchandise, sit on two or more acres, and may have a bank and/or fast food co-branded outlet inside. There are more than 150,000 of these today, and without them, most of us would find our lives increasingly inconvenient.

But there’s a growing chain that is spreading out of Texas that challenges the notion of what a c-store is. Buc-ee’s, with 58 units spread between here and Florida, considers itself a c-store. It’s just that their stores don’t look at all like a 7-Eleven. Oh, and they’re going to break ground soon in Amarillo.

The new store here will be 74,000 square feet and sit on 20 acres. Need gas? An array of 120 pumps will be there from which to choose. While it is not quite the biggest unit in the chain—the biggest is in Sevierville Tennessee with 74,700 square feet—it’s not far behind. But an even bigger one—75,000 square feet—is planned for near Ocala Florida.

Is it truly a c-store, though? One for thing for certain, it is not a truck stop, because trucks are not allowed. RVs are welcome, but you can’t spend the night. How about we just call them travel centers then? Given the location on Amarillo’s east side (near where US 287 branches off I-40), it will be among eight legitimate truck stops, meaning that travelers will have a plethora of choices. It’s little wonder why some people consider Amarillo to be a truck stop town.

As a marketing prof, I stand in amazement every time I stop at Buc-ee’s. No, it’s not because I am buying food or merchandise. To me it is crazy how Buc-ee’s has developed a cult-like following, and people will interrupt their travels for an hour to shop and dine there. They have shopping carts, something you don’t see in a c-store. Perhaps their biggest claim to fame is clean rest rooms. They are immaculate.

Although the chain dates to 1982, it is only in the last five years or so that it started its explosive growth, as well as venturing out of state. A large portion of the merchandise is private label foods, along with a wide variety of souvenirs ranging from t-shirts to plush toys.

And umbrellas. I confess. I bought one, not because I wanted to show my allegiance, but rather because I was trapped inside their St Augustine Florida store when a downpour broke out. It was either buy an umbrella, wait it out, or get drenched. I gladly forked over $15.

So powerful is the Buc-ee’s brand that it sometimes spawns other retail, hotels, and dining in proximity. Take the Terrell Texas store, for example, which is situated near where US 80 breaks off I-20 east of Dallas. The area has blossomed from just Buc-ee’s to three hotels and a variety of fast food and retail choices. All because of a c-store that attracts hundreds of customers each hour.

Given their popularity, I am surprised they have not adopted e-commerce. Their website is pretty basic, much like you would have seen in the late-1990s. This is a golden opportunity missed, because specialty clothing, toys, and packaged foods can easily be sold this way to folks not lucky (I suppose) to have a Buc-ee’s nearby. Then again, Trader Joe’s has followed a similarly austere marketing program with great success.

I have monitored social media reactions lately concerning the groundbreaking, and noted that some folks wondered why Buc-ee’s did not build on the west side, closer to where much of Amarillo lives. But Buc-ee’s is not building this for Amarillo people. No, it is building it for travelers. And all this at a time when QT has arrived in Amarillo, along with the return of Circle K, adding even more c-stores—and more in keeping with the typical size—to the mix.

I am pretty sure that when c-stores arrived on the scene nearly a century ago, no one could ever imagine how the genre has evolved, especially with Buc-ee’s. I’ll be watching for them to open in Amarillo, and will no doubt pay a visit. I won’t be going to shop but rather to people-watch. I’ll bring the umbrella just in case.

Dr “Fill ‘Er Up” Gerlich

Audio Blog

[snowball-collect]

adding some info + a small update!

I noticed one thing said a lot and it's that I should write for myself and not for attention, which is actually what I do a lot! Most of the things I write are very self indulgent, although it's common for me to lose motivation before the story is complete and not posting it because of that lol

And to clear up some stuff, I'm not suprized that I don't have a ton of people reading it, due to several factors including but not limited to:

The main characters aren't as commonly talked about in the fandom. The characters being written as a qpr, which sadly not many people know about + the fandom the characters are from is fairly divided on shipping in general. Everything being slightly occ, because I cannot write characters super well lol And the other half of the crossover being a niche game that shut down on June 30th (the date is important as I'll explain in a bit)

And honestly, I was in a not so great mental state when I sent in the ask. I had spend the past few weeks in a difficult time (at least emotionally) due to learning more then I wanted to know about online censorship of queer content. While things getting better throughout June, the game shut down that month, and that hit me hard during the first few days of July (when I sent in the ask).

Don't get me wrong, the news the game was shutting down came out on the 6th. I had an entire month to prepare, and it was only because the game shut down that I got access to everything behind a pay wall which meant I could write the fic. So the fact that the game shut down is the reason the fic existed tbh.

So combining everything just lead to a break down during the first week of July.

But I'm doing a bit better now. I'm still trying to find a good balance of good mental health vs keeping myself informed on current events, but as a whole I'm doing better.

The fic, while still really unnoticed, has about 120 hits and there's a wonderful amazing person who comments on each chapter and it brightens my day so much. As well, I am planning future fics in the same universe what focus on side characters which are more popular in the fandom, and I'm kinda intrigued on how much those ones will be noticed.

AITA for wanting more attention for my works?

I (15NB) used to write a lot of fanfic about three years back, some of it for bigger fandoms, some for smaller ones. There was a time when I stopped for a while, but about a year ago I started writing more often again.

My most recent fic is a crossover between a fairly large fandom and a game that has been shut down. I've been having a lot of trouble getting people to read the fic, and it's really disheartening when each chapter is about double what I normally write and I don't get much more then 40 hits a chapter, when my other works often get 100-300 hits with less write or effort. An incorrect quotes collection I've made has over 427 hits while my newest fic only has a little over 100 between the main fic and a bonus oneshot.

I feel really bad wanting people to comment on it, because it's fanfiction, it's free to read and it's free to make. I know some people have trouble commenting on things, but I just hate not saying anything while watching my other works get so much attention.

So yeah, AITA for wanting attention when people are completely free to not give it if they don't want too?

What are these acronyms?

[sunstar121]

please someone immediately tell me not to spend $120 on a board game

[pillow-anime-talk]

dating them.

synopsis: Some sweet, funny and also crazy moments in your relationship.

# tags: headcanons; current relationships; romance; mild comedy; fluff; PDA; sfw

includes: gender neutral reader ft. reki kyan, langa hasegawa, miya chinen, kaoru sakurayashiki & kojirou nanjou {sk8}

author’s note: so... i’m just in love with this anime...

— REKI

↘ He’s such a precious boy who cheers you up in the blink of an eye; I think he has an extra sense, so he knows when you feel worse than usual or when you are in even the slightest pain (for example, you bumped your elbow or you haven’t eaten breakfast before ‘cause you missed your alarm clock and therefore you have a stomachache).

↘ Reki is a supportive lover; whether you are passionate about singing, learning languages, reading manga, sewing mascots or painting, a seventeen-year-old will always be right next to you to praise what you do or the way you look. He will notice every, even stupid detail about you and mention it immediately when you’re going to hang out. He’s definitely your fan and doesn’t hide it. Additionally, if you introduce him to what you love, he will also get interested in it in a way and then he will come to you to show off what he has done like a sketch of the two of you or an opinion about the anime you recommended him three days ago.

↘ The boy is really devoted to you and loves physical contact; grabbing a hand, kissing on the cheek or forehead, cute texts in the morning it’s something totally normal for the two of you. I also think that Reki could melt if you run your fingers through his soft hair or make small braids for him, decorating his head with a few colored hairpins or hairbands.

↘ If you know how to skateboarding, he will be delighted and your dates will mostly be about riding together or learning new tricks. Plus, it’s another thing Reki loves about you and wow. He’s even bigger fanboy than before!

↘ However, if you have never ridden or even tried to do it, it doesn’t matter. A teen will be happy to be able to offer you some private lessons if you wish. Again, red-haired adores physical contact, so holding your hands/waist while you stand on his beloved skateboard will be a dream come true for him.

↘ He always has ticket for you, so you make a new banner for each race to support him. Hit me, but I’m 120% sure that after race (whether he won or lost it) he takes your pretty banners and hides them in this special box that has its place on his bedroom closet.

↘ Overall, Reki is a boy who fits to the definition of high school, first love.

— LANGA

↘ Your relationship is a bit more peaceful, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a bit of humor or abstraction.

↘ Langa loves your company so, so, so badly; Reki is quite hot-tempered and is literally everywhere, so when the two of you hang out together after school or at the weekend, blue-haired feels that he can breathe and relax every muscle in his body. You’re his comfort person, and your room is a safe place without fear and noise.

↘ He also enjoys physical contact, but much more prefers to show affection in private, for example in your home or in his own bedroom.

↘ His favorite type of PDA is cuddling; he prefers to be a big spoon and hug you from behind, but he has no problem hugging against your chest or warm stomach, especially when he feels down because of school or racing.

↘ I have a strange feeling that Langa is the type of romantic who would make an amazing Spotify playlist for the two of you so you could listen to the songs, cuddling each other in the bed.

↘ If you can skateboard that’s great! For sure you, Langa and Reki will be a good trio that will meet often in the skate park or in ‘S’. I’m also pretty sure he’ll cheer for you, but at the same time he’ll be very cute with it and definitely more calm than his bestie. For example, if you do a trick... you’ll get a quick kiss on the nose or Langa will buy you your favorite drink. He definitely likes to pamper you.

↘ If you don’t know how to skateboard but you really want to start skateboarding to share your lover’s passion... Well, he will definitely give you a short (long) monologue about how dangerous it is, and you need to be careful – because he knows best of all how a fall on butt or face hurts.

↘ He always keeps a tiny set of colored plasters in his jacket or pants pocket to take care of you in the case of an unexpected accident, as Reki used to care for him.

↘ He’s a good teacher, but he will definitely need to calm his emotions, because sometimes instead of showing you how to slide down the railing, he will suggest something more down-to-earth, like going to the cinema to watch the movie you mentioned three days ago.

— MIYA

↘ Ahh, my precious smol baby.

↘ You are Miya’s first partner, so he still thinks that he’s not good enough for you, although you always reassure him with a light peck on the nose that he’s the best thing that has happened to you and that you’re very glad that you can be with him in every good and bad moment.

↘ The teenager is terribly shy about any physical contact outside, so if you aren’t at home, don’t expect a ton of hugs or kisses from him. He much prefers when you two are alone – then he doesn’t feel overwhelmed by the gazes of other people, especially other skaters who like to make fun of him. 

↘ I swear I’ll bite and beat them all...

↘ Miya is a delicate soul and he really likes to feel that someone look after him, so in a relationship he definitely prefers when you cares for him. For example; just touch his soft hair, ask about his well-being or when he will have a race and a huge smile will appear on his face.

↘ I think if he feels that you are the only one for him... Maybe he will lend you his favorite hoodie with cat ears and tail? He’ll be overjoyed to see that you feel good in it. You look extremely cute, but he’ll never admit it. 

↘ It smells like him, like wet earth and a hint of sweet perfume, and although it’s a strange combination, it feels really beautiful, downright safe and homey.

↘ For the next holiday (your birthday, your anniversary, Valentine’s Day or Christmas), he will give you a sweatshirt that matches to his own. It will be in your favorite color and will also have an animal accessory, not necessarily catish, because if you prefer dogs, rabbits or cows... You know, there are many options.

↘ If you know how to skateboard, he will be really calm and will feel that finally someone will want to spend time with him, training and riding together; not like in childhood when everyone turned away from him. He will definitely be moved when you grab his smooth hand and offer a long ride in the park. He definitely loves praise, so give him praise every now and then when he does a nice trick. He will also compliment you more than once and even give you a kiss on the cheek (of course if nobody is watching!). He’s not good at words, but he tries!

↘ If you don’t know how to skateboard... He may be a bit skeptical, but naturally he’ll agree to a few lessons in front of your or his house. Of course you originally just wanted to be close to him and hold his hand more often than usual, but it turned out to be pretty fun! Now, training is your typical dates.

↘ Miya is a sweet boy and although he may not look like that, he’s really protective, often jealous and always puts you at first place.

— KAORU

↘ This beautiful man, this angel-looking ideal, this ahhhh... Being in a relationship with him is pure pleasure and daily healing for the soul.

↘ He’s a calm, understanding and loving partner. I think he’s a bit old fashioned but that only adds much more charm to his person.

↘ He often calls you his ‘dearest’, ‘darling’ or ‘sweetheart’, isn’t that cute?

↘ You two don’t go out on dates too often, but I think Kaoru loves to spend time at home, having tea or on the couch while one of you is reading a book and the other is listening to music or just sleeping. He definitely doesn’t look like that, but he loves PDA/cuddling and is the best at it!

↘ He also likes it when you suggest learning calligraphy together. He never forced you to do this, but when he first heard that you would like to meet one of his passions, he was really happy and immediately showed you how to write with ink on the special paper he had in his flat. Obviously, more than once you ask him to write a simple letter or word, because you just love his handwriting and how focused he seems. He’s really hot then, I swear to god!

↘ You love his long hair and are always eager to give him a new, nice hairstyle; normal braid or fishtail braid. Maybe a bun or a ponytail with a few hairpins? He loves everything you do on him. In addition, the gentle head massage you give him each time is the most soothing thing in the world for him.

↘ If you know how to skating... He’s really surprised, but that doesn’t mean he’s unhappy or angry. He wants to see what you can do right away and you will surely feel a sweet kiss on your forehead more than once when the trick will be good or even better than you both thought. He’s a supportive boy, but doesn’t show it as vehemently as Reki, for example; he prefers to smile at you or clap softly.

↘ If you don’t know how to skate yet, but you asked him to teach you how to even stand on it... I imagine Kaoru going pale and trying to distract you from this idea because, as an experienced skater, he’s afraid that you will hurt yourself like any beginner. But your big eyes and ruddy cheeks are his weaknesses, so he’ll trust both you and Carla and help you keep your balance on his beloved, black-violet board. Reward him later with quick kisses or give him his favorites, okay?

↘ To sum up, Kaoru is a good and honest lover. He definitely loves your company and won’t mind spending his free time seriously and frivolously with you.

— KOJIROU

↘ This guy is the definition of the sentence ‘Through the stomach to the heart’. Any objections? No. So let’s gooooo!

↘ Kojirou is a PERFECT second half. Both in character and appearance. If he fall in love with someone seriously, and it will be you, then know that he’ll care for you like about a member of the royal family; breakfasts in bed, an Italian supper, the perfect choice of wine for a chicken or steak are things that have become a sweet daily thing for you at some point.

↘ He loves to show you affection and absolutely has no problem doing it in public, even when he’s working or when you two are in a tight crowd on the train or in the ‘S’ before his race. He will kiss you hard on the lips, grab your skin on your butt or hug your waist. It’s just that everyone needs to know that you belong to him. He’s just as clingy as Reki, and sometimes even worse and bolder.

↘ Of course he has cute side; he likes to lie on the bed or the sofa with you on his chest. He loves being between your thighs and sleep there. He definitely has a weak point in that when you you run your finger on his tattoo or cook dinner with him, throwing ingredients at him and laughing out loud.

↘ Another romantic who uses thousands of pet names (like babey, cutie, doll, pumpkin, kitten). Plus, he loves to dance with you in the kitchen and steal a few kisses here and there. Also, if you aren’t looking, he likes to surprise you with a big, bear hug.

↘ I think he’s a bit impatient, so he doesn’t like to sit at home and prefers dates in crazy places (such as an amusement park, swimming pool, karaoke bar) – it’s his favorite way of spending your time together. As a gentleman, he always pays for you, unless you go faster and bring your ATM card to the card reader as first. But don’t be surprised when Kojirou will just buy you cotton candy or popcorn shortly afterwards.

↘ If you know how to skateboard, he’s as excited as a kid and will definitely offer you a date at the skate park. Naturally, he wants to show off to others what a super cool partner he has, but he also wants others to know that you’re here together to kick everyone’s asses with your abilities. You’re definitely a powerful couple and you have the matching necklaces!

↘ But if you don’t know how to skating then... well, well, well. Just be prepared that one day (without even asking for it) you’ll stand on his beloved board and he will grab your hips, smiling silly. He enjoy skin ship so this guy feels utopian when he can be near you. He definitely won’t spare you compliments, long pecks, and smack your butt when you do something great, so you have to get used to it... and it’s going to be a long training session, so good luck, my friend.

↘ He’s a funny guy, but he’ll never cross your limits, so don’t worry about that. However, he will always find a topic for conversation or a joke to relax the atmosphere or cheer you up. You will never be bored with him.

[songmingisthighs]

[19.06] mafia!hongjoong × reader

⇀ you were interested in hongjoong, a notorious leader of a very successful mafia organization. sadly he didn't see you that way. if only he knew the true you before making a rash judgement

⇁ tw : mafia life, angst, mentions of black market activities, death, violence, dark stuff. read at your own risk.

⇁ disclaimer : the author does not support any and all criminal/illegal acts. the narrative written in this story is purely fiction out of the author’s imagination. the things written here does not portray real mafia life nor is the author aware of how the mafia life is like. the author is a hermit loser.

The door to Hongjoong's office opened and in walked his right hand, with a teasing smirk on his face. Hongjoong looked up from the paperwork on his desk and looked up to the man with a raised eyebrow, "what are you smirking at?" he questioned.

Seonghwa nodded his head towards the door, "there's someone here for you," he said whilst holding onto his laughter. Hongjoong shifted his gaze from his friend to the door and then back to him again, "who?" "your girlfriend," Seonghwa teased.

Before Hongjoong could throw anything at him, though, Seonghwa had run off, laughing heartily.

Not long after, you came into his office with a wide smile. As per usual, you were dressed to impress, head to toe with a black and white vintage channel mini skirt and blazer, adorned with a channel necklace and earrings. As you walked in, Wooyoung, one of Hongjoong's trusted men, looked at your passing figure with mouth hanging low and a starstruck look on his face. But you didn't care, you only had eyes for Hongjoong.

It has been roughly five months since you started dropping into Hongjoong's office. Your dad, an equally highly successful head of the mafia from where you're from, wanted you to get married to expand his business and make more allies. He gave you several options but you were immediately intrigued by Hongjoong, one of the mafia heads he made a partnership with by providing him with weapons. The comprehensive file your dad gave you did Hongjoong no justice so you decided to get to know him for real.

Unluckily, Hongjoong is very secretive and protective of himself and his family (re: his brothers; his most trusted men in the mafia). He had been betrayed so many times before and his thirst for revenge both became his strength and downfall. While he managed to build a highly acclaimed mafia organization at such a young age, he closed off everyone who he deemed not worthy of his attention even after only seeing them for less than five minutes.

Sadly, that included you. You weren't the only one who got a comprehensive file on the other, he too had one of you. A straight-A student from Wharton with hobbies consisting of horseback riding and charity? He wondered whether you were preparing to take over your dad's mafia or to steal the Crown of England and be its ruler.

Hongjoong tried his best to hold in a groan of annoyance but even so, some still escaped him and you heard it. Though you were used to it so you just ignored him.

"Hi, Joong," you grinned widely at him, walking in and putting a medium-sized box of cake on his desk after closing his door. "Don't call me Joong," he grumbled.

In all honesty, your bubblegum personality sickened him. He knows for a fact that no one is that happy-go-lucky and excited and has rainbows shooting out of their asses 24/7. So there has to be something you were hiding from him.

You only chuckled at his response, "You're a sourpuss, you know that? You're gonna have wrinkles before you hit thirty if you keep frowning all the time like that," you said as you focused yourself on opening the cake box.

Inside it was the cake you made for him. All the times you visited him, you never made him something from scratch. You were trained to be the head of a mafia organization one day, not in the kitchen. So that cake was the very first thing you made and you were beyond proud of yourself.

"Look," Hongjoong exhaled sharply, starting to get annoyed even before you did anything, "You came at a bad time, I need to get a hundred thousand things done before tonight, in case you didn't realize, my organization is-" "in the brink of war with Stray Kids, I know, I've read the reports," you simply said, hands moving to cut the cake in front of you to hand to him.

"I have connections with the leader's soft spot, the foreigner one, I can make a deal that would help your case if you would jus-"

"NO!!!!" he yelled out, slamming his hands onto his desk, startling you so much that you accidentally dropped your knife and stepped back a little.

Maybe it was the stress of having to deal with things alone, or maybe it's just him finally snapping from overthinking about you, but one thing's for sure is that he had had enough. He needed to put you in your place.

"You may be your daddy's little princess back home, all dressed in white and pink and lace, showered with Channels, Tiffanys and your hoity-toity prestigious Wharton degree. But here, you're nothing, got me? You understood nothing about having to work your ass off to get the recognition and rewards you deserve, you had your daddy behind you this whole time and that's very convenient for you. But don't come here and act like you know shit, okay? Our worlds are different, you came from a cotton candy palace, I came from the ditch, your opinion means less than shit to me," he spat out so quickly, he didn't realize that your expression changed to something that he had never seen before.

Your eyes were blank and glazed, lips slightly quivering and chest heaving.

Hongjoong thought that he had really put you in your place and he was about to celebrate the fact that he might finally drove you away when you opened your mouth.

"Cotton candy palace? Not understanding having to work my ass off?" you choked out.

At first, Hongjoong thought you were gonna cry. But a sadistic, maniacal laugh resonated in the room from where you were doubled over, holding onto your stomach.

It was Hongjoong's turn to be stunned into silence.

"Oh my god, I thought you were smarter than that," you muttered as you calmed down, wiping tears from the corner of your eyes, "you think that this is who I am?" you asked with a raised eyebrow at him.

Hongjoong was confused about whether or not he should speak. It was the first time anyone had ever stunned Hongjoong and Hongjoong didn't know what to do.

"I was born from a girl who was en route to be sold in a human trafficking ring, I came out premature and was about to be sold to a satanic cult as their sacrifice but my 'dad' 'rescued' me. I was stored in a facility with thirty other children, we were trained to be assassins since before we could walk, brainwashed with ideals that ruined our brains. One by one, each year some of us were taken out if we show a lack of improvement or no promise," as you talked, you took off your earrings and necklace and put them on Hongjoong's desk.

While you ran a hand through your messy hair, you stared into him deeply, "I was seven when I first killed someone, my last competition. She was two years older than me and she was sold by her parents for coke money, or as the warden told us. We were reminded every day of how worthless we are so we wouldn't rebel and escape. But even in despair, I wanted something more. That's where daddy came in. He was impressed with me and he took me in as his daughter, telling people one of his whores were pregnant with me to assure my legitimacy. I was schooled in my own private red room. I had to fight for my right as a human being, I made deals with my dad to be able to go out with bodyguard escorts for only an hour every month,"

Hongjoong's eyes followed your hands that gripped onto the edge of your skirt, "did your little binder wrote that I went on my first official mission when I was just twelve? My dad cut the ballet lesson that I trade in for 120 hours of combat training short to gear me up, put me in a room of adult men and sent me off to plant an active bomb in 5 minutes in an air vent of the headquarters of his rival, crazy, right?" you chuckled humorlessly whilst ripping your skirt off to reveal your black shorts inside, a knife and a gun holstered on your thighs were revealed, making Hongjoond's eyes widened.

He never would have imagined someone like you to carry weapons under your very girly outfit. Or to even have such a traumatizing backstory.

"My whole appearance is compensation for my very dark upbringing, I wanted to hide it all. My dad told me I was stupid, that I belonged in the dark, dark world. But when I went to Wharton, I tried to change myself. I thought that I might be able to be the person I wanna be by marrying someone my dad approved so I don't have to take over wholly, I could just be the voice by the side, lending my skills and help the organization indirectly,"

You looked down at your heels clad feet for a second, letting your toes point and moving them from left to right to see what it looks like.

At this point, Hongjoong felt bad for having blown up at you. You had only wanted to spend time with him and even if he didn't want to see you, he could've said it nicely. Hongjoong never felt like this before, it was very weird for him.

He was about to walk over to you when you suddenly took your heels off in a flash and threw them both at Hongjoong so hard that it embedded deep into the wall on either side of his face.

Your usual smile was replaced with a frown, the eyes that usually twinkled showed nothing but darkness. He barely recognized you and he was on edge about it.

"You made your standing with me perfectly clear, Kim Hongjoong, while my dad is one to stop things before they become an issue, I like to see how things unravel," you smirked at him.

"What do you mean by that?" he asked, not being able to process anything.

"It means that your partnership with my dad is off, good luck finding a new weapons supplier," you spat out before turning around to leave the room, leaving traces of yourself behind at his office.

Hongjoong wanted to call after you, try to make things better somehow. But his head still couldn't even wrap around the shocking information you had just revealed.

Not long after you left, Yeosang came in but stopped at the door, scanning the room that was littered with remnants of you. "What the fuck happened here? Did a hooker tried to kill you!?" he asked, still confused at the situation.

When Yeosang looked up, he saw Hongjoong in a way he had never seen him before.

Nervous.

"I-I- I think I just forged a war between us and the largest mafia weapons manufacturer on the eastern hemisphere," he uttered out.

[randompasserbyontheinternet]

Getting Kei Hazuki's Ending: Tips and Tricks

Weeks ago, I decided to challenge myself and get Kei Hazuki's ending again, this time knowing how things work out in the game and taking the risk in hopes I get his ending successfully again this time 😅 I was really scared when I started doing this because not getting his ending could result in a feeling of loss and a heartbreak(at least for me ahaha 😅).

So,let's get started with this guide I made in my mind and I'm finally typing it down. Hope this will help you!

•Always follow the horoscope when pursuing Kei,your success rate on activities each week depends on it.

• I chose Arisawa's room at the start

•As per a blogpost about getting Kei's ending, I decided to join the cheerleading club when aiming for the male lead of every TMGS series. Cheerleading club raises your fitness, arts, charm and social. It decreases intelligence and doesn't affect style.

This is the link of the blogpost,it's a really helpful one, I'd recommend you guys read it if you haven't: https://www.google.com/amp/s/bishieholic.com/2011/02/11/tokimeki-memorial-girls-side-1st-love-plus-hazuki-kei/amp/

•Work at Coffee House ALUCARD. For some unknown reason, the cafe is always the best job to work for at TMGS1 and TMGS2 since it raises all your parameters(including stress 😂) and both coffee house ALUCARD and Sangosho are involved with the male leads of their respective parts, so it raises your affection with them a bit.

•Also, at the start of the game, only buy 1 under, 1 bottom and 1 overall at Boutique Sofia. I'd recommend this so you can switch out the clothes for 2 dates(one for April and one for May) then buy at the Flea Market which is available every 4 months since they have 50% sale there. First Flea Market will be at 1st Year May, so I recommend to buy at that time to save more money hehe. Spend your money wisely! Even a video game teaches you that 😆

•Don't accept any study dates or dates from Himuro or Amanohashi,they can't bomb you.

•Use most of your Sundays and holidays to raise parameters since raising parameters is faster in those days mentioned.

•After you've raised your charm past 120 and working at ALUCARD(you might wanna get Kei's DS exclusive CG, it's really beautiful but also looks odd because MC's face is blocked by light 🤣), you should leave the cheerleading club.

• Starting in 2nd year, I found it better using the main commands than using the ones with your friends since your parameters increase faster when you are doing things alone in the game. This doesn't mean that you shouldn't study,discuss,read or play with your friends in the game, it's just a recommended tip. Anyways, back to the topic. Like for example: Studying with Arisawa increases your Intelligence and Arts, but decreases your Style and Fitness. However,if you use the Study Alone command, it actually also increases your Style a bit but decreases your Charm and as usual, Fitness.

•You might be wondering: what if I meet too many guys in the game and what if many of them try to bomb me at the same time? You should start meeting most of them in your second year,or if you want to raise your parameters as fast as you can(the more recommendable one), try to date the other guys once every 5-6 months, it somehow works haha(at least for me 😅).

•If they try to bomb you, try to date them at a time they can't accept, like guys with jobs can't accept dates on their workdays, or guys in some clubs can't accept dates on mandatory 3rd Sunday club practices of every month. If they are in none of these, chose a place for the date that they dislike. Like for example, Morimura hates the Indoor Pool and Ski Area. It increases the chance of them not accepting the date and also, it's helpful if the day you called is when the Love horoscope for the week is at ☹️ or (>_<)•

•To raise Kei's affection fast, date him only once a month. He's the type who doesn't like being bothered that much. Wear pure clothes(they are mostly at Boutique Sofia, the one in the Park Area with a Teddy Bear Icon) and hairclips(there are two available at the start of the game at Gen. Store Simon Jewelry Vincent). Also, when pursuing a guy,their affection raises faster if you raise their required parameters fast. I was pleasantly and shockingly surprised when he moved to 🙂 state before New Year! How did I knew that?Because he called to accompany you to the shrine on New Year's Day,and it was the first time in the first New Year I saw him being all happy and smiley and not being neutral haha.

•Always do your best in every event! Always win 1st place in Sports Festival, always make your chocolate perfect, never miss the practices for cultural festival or else you are guaranteed to fail at the Cultural festival (>_<)

•If your money suffices it, buy a yukata(Fireworks Festival) kimono(New Year), swimsuit(Indoor Pool and Beach. It has to be a Pure type of swimsuit or he won't like it). Wearing these outfits for these occasions increases their affection, so go for it if you can! 

UPDATE:It is highly recommended to buy a Yukata. According to a conversation I had with someone in the Tokimemo server, she has a TMGS guidebook and it says it raises +6 affection points. So go save your money and buy one! Do remember that yukatas in the first year are 64 Rich.

•One more thing, at Christmas parties, choose the gift that you think you need or will benefit you.Check fireylight's guide,she has the list of how each item will benefit you. 

Link:https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/ds/934799-tokimeki-memorial-girls-side-1st-love/faqs/48851

•Always wish for good grades on New Year since it increases your intelligence by 10+(at least that's what I remember from reading fireylight's guide)

•Time management is key! Remember that! 

I wonder if I got forgot something or wrote it all...

Btw, I got to fulfill all of his confession requirements at 3rd Year August 8!and it's my first younger sister's birthday,I wonder if something good will happen that day XD 

Some of what happened when I was going for his ending(not important actually,just random things I wanna share and talk about😅):

- Even though I knew all of what happens at his CG events, I still proceeded to read like it was my first time XD

- The only guy and girl I didn't meet in this playthrough is Mihara and Mizuki because I didn't use the Arts command 😅

- I got into rival mode with Shiho(again 😭) even though I haven't been bothering Morimura that much and they are both at 🙂 state. It's good because if she gets Morimura, then that is -1 of the guys you have to bother with if they give you a bomb warning. 

That's all! Hope this helps!