#IRL MATSUHANA

[mintmatcha]

hello mint

this is perhaps tmi but i just needed to tell you. ever since i read your matsuhana threesome fic, compliments during sex irl have never been the same. how can i accept a m*n that says “you feel so good” when hanamaki takahiro said “you have a porn star pussy, baby” anyway. i needed to let you know that it is permanently etched, engraved, carved, etc. into my psyche. i hope u have a wonderful day (also every time i eat bell peppers i think of you, but that’s entirely unrelated)

come here baby, ILL dirty talk you all you want

[stormears]

An irl friend just reached out to me to reconnect. I thought she just lost interest in me and I was fine with that and not having her in my life anymore. Then she started texting me a LOT about her art, an RP she does with her fiancee and their friend, the topic of fanfiction came up and she asked what I'm reading or writing. I wrote 2 sentences about a wip of mine (MatsuHana fantasy comedy au, my cutest, softest and least problematic work in years) before deciding...no. I don't want this friend knowing about my fanfiction.

She's an old, good friend from high school, a big goofy nerdy and chatty girl. She can be...A LOT. But she's someone who's exceptionally supportive and understanding. Someone who'd truly be over the moon to hear about my fanfiction. I shouldn't be afraid or nervous of sharing it with her. But I just did not want her to know about it. It's not for her. I suddenly felt extremely defensive, even aggressive about keeping it hidden and shutting down that topic of concersation. Which I did. And also felt really pissed at myself for volunteering anything at all. I wish I had just said no thanks I don't want to share, from the start.

[shoushatohaisha]

report: haikyuu!! summer week day 2 (saien/itadaki no keshiki)

previously: day 1 (shoen) report

guests: ryoutarou, justin, juudai, sonde

ryoutarou was the MC and he tried so hard bless his heart heehee but juudai and sonde, real life matsuhana, were ALLLL over him. they were giggling as he earnestly read from his script so he broke off-- ryoutarou: what?? I PRACTICED THIS, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. sonde/juudai: he's trying really hard, please cheer for him. juudai: yesterday ryoutarou's master (shishou) got everyone REALLY excited, we heard. justin: that's right. kenta-kun. ryouotarou: today i will overcome him!! juudai: that bar's pretty high lol. sonde: don't worry. with me, you're invincible. (ore ga ireba omae wa saikyou da.)

so then although of course ryoutarou did a great job overall, they jumped all over the little misses, like extra long pauses or flubbed lines. (ryoutarou: yesterday's screening was shoen… how was it? justin: um, i wasn't there???) to the point that sonde ran over, ducked down, hugged ryoutarou around the waist and yelled LET ME DO THE MC. they did the same cheering explanation/practice, only when they got to cheering for characters by name ryoutarou flubbed again-- ryoutarou: you cheer like if makki—makihara— audience: AHAHAHA sonde: (slinks toward him singing) ♫ tatoeba kimi ga iru dake de kokoro ga… ♫

(for the record "kimi ga iru dake de" is not in fact a makihara noriyuki song but it was immediately clear what sonde was going for, i think he got it mixed up with "donna toki mo". XD)

then when they did a practice play on stage for us to try out our cheers on, sonde spiked on juudai's head instead of the ball at first. (this is after he'd come running out at the beginning Extremely High Tension and spiked first on juudai then on ryoutarou, i assume he knew he wouldn't be able to reach justin. XD)

ryoutarou: ok but let's practice everyone's names for real come on sonde: makki audience: MAKKI juudai: mattsun audience: MATTSUN ryoutarou: tsukki audienec: TSUKKI justin: (pause) sonde/juudai/ryoutarou: JUS (fall about cackling pleased with themselves) audience: jus! jus! justin: my character has a name. sonde/juudai/ryoutarou: asahi, yeah, asahi justin: well, the cheering is up to you, so whatever you feel like-- audience: JUS! justin: please stop.

last but not least, tobe tobe karasuno/ose ose seijou, but while yesterday the cheers led into the beginning of the screaming, today juudai specially asked to end with ennoshita's don don-don-don clapping rhythem, and it turned out this was because he and sonde had practiced a pose ending with their hands on each other's shoulders making dramatic faces at the audience. (aka the フォーリンラブ/fall in love pose if you are familiar with comedy. XD) like i said, real life matsuhana.

FINALLY, THE ACTUAL SCREENING sorry. XD during the opening, everyone got up and acted out their choreo – ryoutarou couldn't wait for his own entrance, though, and got up and did oikawa's part first, right down to the cutesy double v-sign. then for his own scene he held his thundersticks up to his ears as oversized headphones, ahahaha, and then started doing both tsukki and yamaguchi's parts.

the cheering/whispering division was even worse than last night, juudai and sonde spent a solid half of their time their whispering to each other and cackling at their seijou teammates, they're terrible. (i love them.) thanks to the screening last night, this time EVERYONE was yelling "don't mind!!!" at kageyama failing to get into shiratorizawa and "nice catch!!!" at hinata picking up the ball. (and "nice receive!!" when kindaichi casually tossed the ball to kunimi. XD) juudai and sonde could not get over the calls for kindaichi, they were like, falling out of their chairs laughing. meanwhile, ryoutarou and justin got very into the MST3K aspect and were calling out their own oneliners on the regular. also since asahi doesn't appear much in the first half, every time justin appeared in the background holding up the net etc he would jump up and run up to the screen and point himself out. then he got really into his own match and got up to yell (ofc) "SUGAAAA" and "uchikitte koso—" audience: ACE!

it was fun to see who got different reactions at saien vs shoen – a BIG suga-san/ino hiroki crowd tonight, while other characters got squeals or name calls, at the loving closeups on suga the audience literally dissolved into dreamy sighs/whimpers of "KAWAII". which, i mean, they're not wrong. big seijou crowd as well, juudai and sonde looked so unimpressed with the screams for oikawa ahahaha.

the aftertalk: as i remember it, mainly embarrassing seijou stories from juudai. he explained that when seijou was the Seijou Chorus in white coats, naturally they'd take a breath before reciting their lines, then exposed the fact that arisawa shoutarou was so earnest and serious about being in unison that he would specially practice taking the breath and settling his shoulders, and as a result you can pick him out super easy in the background because when he takes a breath the movement goes from the top of his head all the way down his spine.

furthermore worry-san held auditions for the rap bit and the one most enthusiastic was kaito, all I'LL DO IT, I'LL DO IT. and then when he did... juudai: the rap was me, sonde-san, kenshin. sonde: i remember it super well. juudai: we were lined up like this sonde: and yamagiwa kaito-kun was? juudai: not there.

when hinata gets hit in the face during the neighborhood association match, kindaichi runs out with the ball – sakamoto kouta also volunteered for this role. ("in shoen it was masa-san – wada masanari –" "BUT NOT KAITO.") but he always had to hurry to get his coat zipped up and hood down in time. during one show, he was too rushed and just had to run out with his coat thrown on but not zipped or hooded – so instead of a faceless ensemble person it just looked like kindaichi was really cold and threw on a coat before running out to smack hinata in the face.

then ryoutarou said, "this is just between us here, but when were out on tour everyone got pretty close, right, and juudai and i were always sharing a room-- juudai: um what do you mean JUST BETWEEN US, that's not a secret?? you're making it sound like it's a different kind of relationship-- justin/sonde: (nod nod nod) ahh, i see, i see how it is.

oh, and of course ryoutarou and justin dragged ken-chan for his very unique interpretation of the choreo. XDD

ryoutarou: so, after today, are there any of the other screenings you want to join? juudai/sonde: ...shousha to haisha. sonde: obviously. juudai: it's the only other one we're in.

then ryoutarou and justin started talking about – was it hajimari no kyojin? and it just KEPT GOING so eventually juudai and sonde turned toward each other and started a faux-conversation like, "what are you doing tomorrow?" "nothing much just mumble mumble" "oh yeah cool sounds fun" until karasuno noticed. "oh, no, go ahead, we're talking, it's fine."

oh yeah and ryoutarou mentioned that HE would be back for shousha to haisha. ryoutarou: i'm supposed to be the MC but… that might change after tonight. ryoutarou: what if we make kairi the MC audience: (screams) ryoutarou: I WON'T GIVE UP TIL I OVERCOME MY MASTER sonde: ...then why did you ask.

finally, they also each said a few words about "saikyou no team" – not as heavy as the shoen quartet, iirc, but nice! juudai talked about joining in from saien, sonde talked about how watching saien made him look forward to rejoining the production for their last show, justin talked about all the changes in and how they planned to do their best on behalf of the cast members who'd left as well, and i can't even remember what ryoutarou said because i, along with the rest of the audience and guests, was hanging on the edge of my seat to see if he'd get through it without tearing up. XDD IT WAS CLOSE BUT HE MANAGED, justin and juudai both had these evil grins like they knew exactly what was going on ahahaha.

tonight, fukkatsu with shouri, naoki, arai sho, and kimura atsushi! i'll check in again tomorrow!

[seijch]

LET KENMA SAY POGGERS 🗣🗣🗣🗣

[nassthel]

Some other attempt to become better with watercolor, still with Oikawa (Kosuke Asuma's Twitter helps for the inspiration)

[atsumiyo]

roommate problems

cw// swearing, that’s all :)

status// the only established relationship is matsuhana. do not tag this as poly between the miyas, you will be blocked immediately.

-

matsuhana ;;

miya twins ;;

-

fun fact// kinda based off of an irl thing that happens to me often?? my roommates fight a lot so i dip to my best friends dorm lol

fun fact.2// y/n and osamu bully atsumu a lot hehe , but they love him

©️ atsumiyo on tumblr !

[shinsoups]

Seijoh 4 as random things my guy friends do 

a/n: this is super random and short. i just remembered how stupid my friends are and i miss them so i wrote this haha

seijoh 4 x f!reader

Hanamaki Takahiro : plays with your hair during class

Makki sits just behind you, and every second period he'll lazily run his fingers on your hair and play with it. Usually he twirls it on his fingers while his head is slump down on his desk. This became a usual thing for him to do, telling you how it calms him down.

Sometimes he'll make fun of it and put it above his lips, "Look y/n I have a mustache!" he'll grin like a fool.

You on the other hand just glares at him and tell him, "You never even grew armpit hair, stupid Makki!"

He learns how to properly braid your hair one time and he was overjoyed telling Mattsun about it! Declaring he'll either grow his hair longer or he'll be the best dad ever!

Matsukawa Issei : plops his chin on your head when you're hanging out with them esp. outside school 

Does it every time he's standing behind you and will sometimes rest his arms crisscrossed (you know making your head like an armrest of some sort). He does this whenever other guys lurk around you. And whenever you ask him why he keeps doing that, he claims to be the big brother of the group and is just protecting you from the "bad spirits". Often times he's just making fun of you for how short you are.

"Stop doing that!"

"Stop doing what?" you tried to jab his stomach lightly to push him off.

"That!"

"What?"

You sigh in exasperation and defeat as he laughs it off, tousling your hair when he succeeded in teasing you.

Iwaizumi Hajime : will randomly poke your cheeks when you're talking (bonus: he'll smother your cheeks and cups it with his big hands as if you're a puppy)

"What the heck, Hajime."

"It's squishy" he tells you.

You never expected him to do that at all cause in the group he looks like he's the least affectionate type kind of guy. So this shocks you whenever he pokes your cheeks when you're talking. Even pokes your chin and forehead only for you to hear him seriously ask, "Are you a marshmallow in your past life?"

Hajime please... *sighs* 🥺

"Do that again, I'll smack your head harder than you hit your volleyball." you warned when he did it one time while you were drinking a soda, causing you to choke on it.

"You almost killed her Iwa-chan," Tooru pats your back.

"Her cheeks are just really....squishy," he defended.

Oikawa Tooru : spams you with random texts and memes

At first you find it adorable you receiving texts like "did you know that we are actually aliens in our own planet?" but then started to frown when he keeps sending at 2 in the morning!! Sends really really random 'did you know' facts and weird memes. You called him out for it one time only for you to hear him say "but y/n this reminded me of you."

You don't know whether you're offended or not but the things he keeps sending just makes you do that pikachu meme irl.

"I would find it cute if it's a cat meme or something wholesome, Tooru. But please you keep sending me weird alien shit." *matsuhana laughing after hearing it*

"But!" *you glare at him* "Fine! Fine, but I know you love it!" he pokes your forehead after seeing you grin at him.

Decides to tone it down and sends you regular *not alien/weird* memes. Tags you on cat memes and videos.

ps: this is really a random sudden post coz i met with friends yesterday!! 😤 i miss them! ✨💖

general taglist: @b0ku4ka @chibishae34 @skusamiya

[astearte]

[makkisucks]

mak(kaela)ki  ⚡  9teen  ⚡  sev / he

hello, i'm makki ( sev / he / it ) and sometimes i write about gay people kissing for shits & gigs. i'm nineteen, a trans man, gay, & on the aroace spectrum. this is my own personal tumblr account, besides my side blog on m-atsuhana. 

please check out my byf before following and interacting, and enjoy your stay!

if you came here from my ao3, my askbox is always open for requests so please send some ( read my requests guidelines and rules ( currently wip ) first tho! )

links ♡

⚡ ao3. twitter. commissions. linktree.

before you interact ♡

⚡ i'm a part of a system, we are diagnosed w aspd & autism & bpd & bipolar & npd & are physically disabled, i need tone tags, i am highly argumentative.

do not interact ♡

⚡ basic dni criteria, under 15, incest / pedophilia fans, non-traumagenic systems, irls, dsmp fans & defenders, ed / shtumblr (or wtvr its called here) or u send / post real gore ( not just vent art ).

my interests ♡

⚡ angels of death, another, assassination classroom, blue lock, bungou stray dogs, demon slayer, erased, future diary, genshin impact, haikyuu, heaven official's blessing, honkai star rail, kamisama kiss, keeper of the lost cities, nanbaka, percy jackson & all rick riordan series, promare, obey me, sk8 the infinity, soul eater, the arcana, the grandmaster of demonic cultivation, the marauders, the scum villain's self-saving system, toilet bound hanako-kun, tokyo ghoul, twisted wonderland, voltron: legendary defender, your turn to die.

fav ships ♡

⚡ 3zun, atsujuni, bachisagi, bealimon, bingliushen, bokuakakurotsukki, chiluc, chiscara, chixiao, fengqing, galolio, hawmitch, hideki, huaqing, huaxuan, jegulus kacchako, karushuu, klance, leovil, malleona, matchablossom, matsuhana, monoshin, natsusaku, pandalilly, peishui, qijiu, quanyin, quillkiller, renga, ridoace, rookvil, rosekiller sakuatsu, sangcheng, seijoh 4, serokami, soukoku, soulmaka, suegiku, tachigin, teshizuki, todosero, treyter, xianle 4, wolfstar, yahashira, yukise.

[the-melliconda-podcast]

late weekly mellico round up 3

- we became matsuhana just smarter

- i (nico) was sappy about mellie a lot

- canonically got engaged in a McDonalds Drive through

- i got struck by mini lightning and mellie was (justifiably) concerned

- hated on dnf (read: mellie screams when heatwaves come on and i am laughing at xem)

- talked about not murdering our future neighbors and instead just driving them out with chaos

- mellie got eaten by mosquitoes, i forever the floridian provided basic ways to help only to find out that mellie has NO FUCKING WATER

- oh mellie actually likes the nicknames mells (they use it on online quizzes)

- reinstated the fact that we are just c! beeduo irl

- i shared my parents with mellie (my dad calls my mom’s mother mom and i was like hey! you can do that! we’re married so my mom is your mom my dad is also your dad)

- i sent peppa pig parodies

- mellie said i might be gay but not emo to which i responded with my extremely high prozac dosage and me not being emo was dropped

- mells listened to me scream about the golden guard

- i cried about various haikyuu ships and mellie made fun of me for being a softie

- mellie will steal my hoodies when we meetup i have no choice in the matter

[sstardusty]

how did sofiwaoi get tghtr?

OMG I LOVE YOU!!!!!? OKAY—

In cannon x irl I’m childhood friends with oikawa and Iwaizumi.

During our second year I was having a lot of trouble dealing with my feelings for Iwaizumi and Iwaizumi was in the same boat

Throughout this, oikawa had been trying to comfort (?) the both of us the best he could while still pushing us to admit our feelings for the other

AND DURING THE SPAN OF OUR 2ND YEAR WE ALL ENDED UP HAVING BIG CRUSHIES ON EACH OTHER.

I didn’t know who to talk to because I liked the 2 people I usually talk to about stuff like that.

So I went to me next closest friends— MATTSUN AND MAKKI

But guess who else also went to Mattsun and Makki IWAIZUMI!!!

So now Matsukawa and Hanamaki both know that Iwaizumi and I both have feelings for not only each other but ALSO OIKAWA!!!

But then the two of them decided they were gonna play matchmakers and started to keep an eye on oikawa to see if he liked us

AND OIKAWA OPENLY FLIRTS WITH US ALL THE TIME BUT WE JUST BRUSH IT OFF BECAUSE “oh that’s just oikawa”

AND THE MATCHMAKERS ARE LIKE “THEYRE IDIOTS!”

Okay so we were having a joint practice with the boys and girls team and we were all doing stretches

The third year boys and I were all in a ✨stretch circle✨ and we were chatting and we started talking about dating

Sofie-“Yeah I haven’t dated anyone— hell I haven’t even had my first kiss!”

Matsuhana- “WAIT WHAT!?”

Sofie-“Nope, it’s probably because I’m always with theses two” (tooru and Hajime)

Matsuhana looked at each other as if they were speaking telepathically and the rest of us would look at each other like 👁👄👁

Then Makki would yell

“OH MY GOD ARE YOU ALL BLIND!?!”

iwa- “what are you on about idiot?”

Mattsun- “You guys are painfully oblivious”

oikawa- “thats not very nice. How’re we oblivious?”

Makki- “CAN YOU NOT FEEL THE TENSION!?”

then our coaches come in and tell us it’s time to start practice.

All throughout practice the three of us are just doing really bad.

I’m missing my receives

Iwas spiking out of bounds and

Oikawas sets are off

“Iwaizumi, oikawa see me after practice”

“Sofie, let’s talk after practice”

Only thoughts running through our minds are “what tension!? There’s no tension!?” And “oh sh*t coach wants to talk after practice”

We meet our coaches after practice together

“What’s going on? I mean I get having an off day but this?? Sofie, you’re our libero, you rarely miss a receive.”

“Same for you oikawa, Iwaizumi. Why is it that today, the joint practice which could have been very beneficial for the three of you, youre all off you game?”

Our faces go bright red—

“Ah I see, we’ll leave you three be, right coach Nobuteru?” (I’m basing my coach off of my irl coach and SHE LEGIT AWESOME SO UH YEAH)

“Yes?”

So after my coach drags the boys coach away we all look towards each other and then quickly look away as if we went looking at each other in the first place

sofie- “welp looks like I’m talking first— I don’t want to ruin our friendship but I realllllyy like both of you—“

Iwa- “so do I??”

Oikawa- “OH WAS THIS WHAT THEY WERE TALKING ABO—“

Sofiwa- “QUIT YELLING”

Oikawa-“ geez soorrryy”

Sofie- “okay so does this mean we’re like dating and whatever?”

Iwa- “wow smooth transition”

Sofie- “well I’ve never done this before!”

Oikawa “*sigh* I love it when my significant others yell at each other instead of me”

Iwa and I turn to oikawa all red and blushy

sofie- “group hug??”

Before they can respond I’d pull them into a hug

sofie with a muffled voice- “so like u two are my first boyfriends”

I pull away and peck them both on the cheek

sofie- “Anyways I’ve gotta meet with my team so uh I’ll see you at the gates like always?”

Iwa- “uh yeah see ya”

I’d run to my team and act all nonchalant

captain- “you kinda sucked today”

sofie- “I KNOW!! IM SO SORRY IT WONT HAPPEN AGAIN!!!”

Cap- “woah I know it won’t , but you also can’t pretend that didn’t just happen”

And then my team would tease me for the rest of my life

〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️

I AM SO SORRY THIS IS SUCH A MESS AND IT TOOK SO LONG!!!! I’m bleaching my hair today and I had to run a few arrands but I’m back to writing!!!!

Sofiwa taglist @kuronekomama @churochuu @janellion @stcrryskies @deadontheinsidebut @anianimol @the-kool-aid-man-is-real @kaminii

[queen-eevee]

Growing Pains

Read on AO3 here

Words: 4438

Relationship: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Matsukawa Issei/Hanamaki Takahiro, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio

Summary: "Oikawa isn’t a day over 24 when he finally gets a new job and moves to a new town. He isn’t a day over 24 when he becomes a volleyball coach for children, determined to teach and help them achieve the dreams he couldn’t. He isn’t a day over 24 when he meets his star pupil with a last name that makes him almost stop breathing. He isn’t a day over 24 because he hasn’t met his destined partner."

In which Oikawa learns that he should have just picked up the damn phone and I accidentally wrote a dramatized version of "Hotline Bling" without realizing it.

Author’s Notes: I got the idea for this story from a prompt that was given to me a year ago by my friends Ki and Brokuto (I can’t find your url for the life of me I’m so sorry ;-;) and only just now got around to publishing it, so this is dedicated to you guys ^-^ (Any pain you experience can be blamed on them ;3)

“It’s weird when you realize the person you once told everything to now has no idea what’s happening in your life.” ~Anonymous

~o~o~o~

   Back in high school, there wasn’t a day that went by where Oikawa wouldn’t call Iwaizumi.

   One might think it was sort of excessive, considering they lived right next door to each other, but it was a habit, a tradition of sorts at that point, and who was Oikawa to break it?

   So Oikawa called Iwaizumi. Everyday.

   The calls ranged from an invitation to come to his house, to a quick question about the math subject Oikawa might have zoned out and missed half of, advice on whatever issue presented itself, a rant about Matsukawa and Hanamaki’s latest prank, or an announcement about the latest conspiracy documentary that was supposed to play tonight and You couldn't possibly want to miss it Iwa-chan! Whatever the occasion, Oikawa’s phone would end up hot to the touch by the end of the night from overuse and his exasperated parents would have to chew him out yet again about how high the phone bill was by the end of the month.

   But it was a routine that Oikawa wasn’t keen on breaking.

   Back in high school.

   Back in high school, Oikawa couldn’t imagine a future without his best friend by his side. After all, how could he? They had always been together, from childhood to adulthood, through thick and thin, victories and loses, growing up and growing pains.

   Where would Oikawa be without that window that lead directly from his room to Iwaizumi’s, always open for conversations or when nightmares became too hard to deal with and another person was needed to lull either of them back to sleep?

   And as much as Oikawa pretended to hate it, where would he be without someone to keep his ego and attitude in check, to make sure his stress levels didn’t get to the point again where he’d take it out on another?

   (He never forgave himself for what almost happened with Tobio. Iwaizumi forgave for him.)

   He’d probably be where he is now: sitting on a cold, unfamiliar gymnasium, in an unfamiliar college, with little to no friends and tears streaking down his cheeks in a mixture of pain and guilt. They are the only warmth Oikawa feels.

   He’s clutching his knee in a feeble attempt to ease the pain, but to no avail. The injury has gotten worse. He knows that. He knows that and yet he’s still trying to convince himself that he’ll be fine, that someone will find him and take him to a hospital.

   Back in high school, perhaps his prayers would have come true.

   In college, he sits, full of regret and self-hatred and pain. He shouldn’t have left Iwaizumi and Hanamaki and Matsukawa. He shouldn’t have let himself fall out of touch with them, too focused on trying to become the best to direct any of his attention to anything other than school work and volleyball. He shouldn’t have pushed his knee to the back of his mind like it was a papercut, when in reality it could be the end of his career.g

   (He tries not to think about how it could already be the end.)

   His phone lays cold on the floor next to him. He didn’t want to call an ambulance, but he’s aware now that it’s probably his only hope of etting help.

   After all, none of his teammates on his new team were going to arrive. Hell, most of them probably don’t even know he’s here right now. The closeness of his high school team had been left far behind the day he introduced himself to his new teammates. Grunts of acknowledgement were common responses to anything he said, and Oikawa’s boisterous attitude was a nuisance, no longer a source of entertainment. His optimism was “too childish” and the true him, the person that was accepted and loved in high school—the person with peace signs and “Yoohoo~!”’s and a fan club, but most importantly, true, loyal friends—was back at his high school, his Aoba Johsai, like a child left in daycare.

   You can pick them up on your way home from college! Don’t take too long though! They miss you!

   Now Oikawa was just focused. Focused on beating whatever team they faced against, on beating the other setter that was a constant threat to his starter position, on acing every test and exam that was thrown his way because he had nothing else to do after school but study.

   He knows he’s becoming a different person. He knows and he hates it, but accepts it, because how was he going to fight it? He knows what would fix it, he’s just too stubborn to try.

   And it hurts. It hurts because even though he’s changed, even though he’s worked harder than anyone else on his team or any other team out there, he still lost. His team can’t seem to catch a break, beaten in the second or third round of every tournament by a team with geniuses or raw talent over and over again. That hurts the most.

   It’s the only thing that’s similar to his life back in high school.

   It’s almost humorous how his life parallels his old one. He’s graduating, or he will be soon anyways, and he lost. Lost again , even after changing teams and personalities and he just can’t seem to win.

   Which brings him to his current situation. Why he thought practicing until his knee gave out would fix anything, he didn’t know.

   Perhaps he was searching for familiarity.

   He almost considers calling Iwaizumi as a sick joke, a flash of nostalgia, a “Hey we haven’t spoken to each other in over two years but I don’t really have the time to catch up because I’ve hurt myself again please come pick me up”.

   Oikawa may not have spoken to him in over two years, but he knows Iwaizumi would drive a thousand miles to help him, no matter how many years they’ve gone without speaking.

   He doesn’t deserve that kindness.

   “119? I’ve hurt my knee very badly and I can’t walk.”

   He wonders if Iwaizumi has missed hearing the X-files theme song Oikawa set as his own ringtone.

   “Yes, I’m in a lot of pain.”

~o~o~o~

   Oikawa wasn’t sure what was worse: Going to physical therapy, or going to physical therapy alone.

   He had never gone alone before. His parents or Iwaizumi had always been there to support him. But now he doesn’t even have a working knee to support his body weight, let alone emotional support.

   Volleyball’s been reluctantly put on hold until his knee makes a full recovery, but he hears the whispering of the doctors and therapists in the hallways in between his sessions when they think he isn’t paying attention.

   (He’s always had good ears, which has proven to be a helpful trait on the court when he can hear quiet signals from the other team regarding their next play.)

   “This poor boy…”

   “-has been playing this his whole life…”

   “-might never play again…”

   The whispers eat him from the inside out, his inner thoughts in constant turmoil.

   I’ll never beat Ushijima. I’ll never get better than him. I’ll never get to prove him wrong.

   Why did I ever think I’d ever be good enough? Why did I even start volleyball?

   But Oikawa was never one to give up easily. Stubborn was a compliment.

   He worked through physical therapy for the rest of his college career, and when he was finally discharged with a stable knee, a diploma, and the bad news, he took it all in with a charming, fake smile he had perfected over the years, and immediately signed up for the Olympic trials on the way home.

   (He wasn’t sure what was worse: What would come next, or bearing what would come next alone.)

~o~o~o~

   Iwaizumi hadn’t heard from Oikawa in almost three years. In that meantime, he completed his degree for sport medicines and has dark bags under his eyes to show for it, but he never regretted his career choice. Volleyball was fun in high school, and though he still played it for fun at various parks or beaches, or whenever Hanamaki and Matsukawa invited him up to their place, it was never the same without Oikawa.

   He tried not to think about it.

   He wasn’t sure what made Oikawa suddenly disappear one day. Perhaps school simply became too much for him, and after a while, trying to balance volleyball and friends on top of a degree was too much.

   Or at least, that’s what Iwaizumi told himself, even though Oikawa balanced it perfectly his first year in college.

   He gave him space, knowing that’s what he would want if he disappeared without a reason, but he couldn’t help but wonder and worry and feel like something was missing from his life.

   He hadn’t heard the X-files theme song in three years. The song used to bother him. Now any noise that sounds similar has him absentmindedly picking up his phone.

   Iwaizumi hadn’t heard from Oikawa in almost three years. Which is why, when Oikawa suddenly appeared on the TV for the Olympic volleyball trials, after Iwaizumi was sure Oikawa was finally abducted by his beloved aliens, Iwaizumi was floored.

   Oikawa looked much older, his facial features more defined and his hair longer than before, still laying in loose curls atop his head. The bags under his eyes were darker than Iwaizumi’s own, but the toothy smile on his face was the only thing that reminded Iwaizumi of his old friend.

   (But even after not seeing each other for years, Iwaizumi could still tell a fake smile from a genuine one.)

   He noted his posture was much more serious, and his demeanor no longer had the dramatics and enthusiasm it used to. Perhaps he grew up, Iwaizumi thought, before feeling a drop in his stomach.

   They had always done that together.

   He saw the thick knee brace Oikawa was wearing and involuntarily sucked in a breath. That meant Oikawa had hurt himself recently. But surely if he had grown up, he must have finally learned his own limits.

   The trials went without incident, one game being played after another, players and teams being substituted in and out without hitch.

   Then Oikawa was put in.

   Even with knowing how quickly Oikawa was able to adapt to new teammates, Iwaizumi was almost convinced he had worked with these people his whole life. He felt a burst of pride.

   That’s my setter. That’s my best friend.

   Oikawa was doing phenomenally. His moves were polished and accurate and his skills were more advanced than many of the others. Going to that college must have been good for Oikawa after all. The commentators couldn’t get enough of him and a lot of the dialogue revolved around this “genius setter”. His team won one point after another, after another-

   And then he fell.

   The cameras had perfect timing. After they had realized Oikawa was stealing the show, they started focusing more on him and his movements. In one second, Oikawa was leaping to set the ball, and the next moment, the cameras closed in on his face just in time to see him pale and his eyes widen in pain as he landed. Iwaizumi was glued to the TV in horror.

   Oikawa screamed, collapsing to the floor in a jumble of limbs. The teammate he had just set to took advantage of the confusion and slammed the ball onto the floor of the other side of the court. The slap of the ball was covered by the deafening roar of concern and frantic commentary.

   “-has apparently been going to physical therapy for the past couple months…”

   “-was told he could never play again…”

   Iwaizumi didn’t register that he was holding his breath until a choked gasp escaped his throat.

   Oikawa was rushed off the court, and the last thing Iwaizumi saw before the trials continued was the blank stare on Oikawa’s face, tears making his red cheeks shiny.

   Iwaizumi felt like crying.

   He had seen the effort Oikawa put into trying to get here firsthand. He had seen the stress and extra practices and the mumbled words of I’ll never be good enough. And yet, here was Oikawa, denied the only thing he had ever wanted his whole life, because of an injury that was caused by him trying to achieve this exact dream.

   What a sick circle of events.

   “Hajime? Are you alright?”

   A light voice full of concern brought Iwaizumi back to the present and Iwaizumi registered his girlfriend’s voice coming from the next room over.

   “I will be.”

   “Are you watching a sad movie?”

   Iwaizumi huffed with amusement. “Mhm, sure.”

   “Which one?”

   Iwaizumi froze, fishing for an answer.

   “Friday Night Lights?”

   “The football one? Well, if it’s going to make you upset, stop watching it! I was worried about you!”

   Iwaizumi smiled and turned off the TV, no longer interested in the Olympics.

   “I couldn’t stop watching it. I just wanted to find out how it would end.”

   Oikawa didn’t make it past the trials.

~o~o~o~

   Oikawa isn’t a day over 24 when he finally gets a new job and moves to a new town. He isn’t a day over 24 when he becomes a volleyball coach for children, determined to teach and help them achieve the dreams he couldn’t. He isn’t a day over 24 when he meets his star pupil with a last name that makes him almost stop breathing.

   He isn’t a day over 24 because he hasn’t met his destined partner.

   (Soulmate is a bit of a dead word and makes Oikawa groan every time he hears it. It’s lost its meaning and power through clichés and overuse, but Oikawa hasn’t quite found a better alternative.)

   He was told from a young age that one day he’ll kiss the love of his life and finally start aging again. Everyone stops aging once they’ve reached 24 until they’ve kissed their soulmate and, through some Disney magic, they began aging again in order to spend the rest of their lives together.

   Oikawa thinks it’s a load of crap.

   Oikawa isn’t a day over 24.

   But his star pupil, Yuudai Iwaizumi, has a last name that makes Oikawa feel years older than he really is, what with the memories that come flooding back every time he hears one of the boy’s friends call him “Iwa-chan”.

   (It’s been too many years since he’s called Iwaizumi on the phone. Too many to still grieve over his loss but too long to try and rekindle a lost friendship.)

   Yuudai is a fantastic spiker and Oikawa would laugh at the irony if he wasn’t secretly thrilled that he finally has a student he knows how to motivate and polish.

   Oikawa knows he’ll be a great ace one day. He tells Yuudai this and his eyes light up with pure happiness. He plays his hardest during practice that day.

   The next day Oikawa’s heart stops. Or at least, it feels like it. It would certainly be an easier feeling to explain

   Because instead of the beautiful woman the boy calls his mother dropping him off, Oikawa sees a face he hasn’t seen in years and suddenly he understands the last name and why Yuudai is a natural ace.

   Iwaizumi is taller now, though not by much. He has stubble on his chin and his hair is just as shaky as it was in high school, though Oikawa guessed he finally lay off the hair gel a bit because they aren’t as pointed as before. He’s older now, Oikawa realizes with a pang in his heart. He looks somewhere around his late 20’s, early 30’s and has a surprised look on his matured face.

   “Iwa-chan,” Oikawa finally breathes as he remembers how to speak. Iwaizumi smiles a gentle smile, before a playfully stern expression crosses his face.

   “I’ve told you not to call me that.”

   Oikawa could have cried. Instead he just laughs and smiles back and it’s like nothing has changed even though everything has and Oikawa is only painfully aware of it.

   Iwaizumi’s married now and has a kid; he has a kid even after all his worries about never being a good enough father. After talking with him for a couple minutes, Oikawa learns that he did go into sports medicine and has a steady, stable job that he loves.

   Oikawa’s all-too aware of the time when the timer for stretches has gone off and practice has officially started, meaning Iwaizumi has to leave. But before Iwaizumi steps away, he looks down and sighs.

   “Back in college...I...I don't know why you stopped calling me but...I would have picked up if you had called again, you know.”

   His smile is sad and his eyes are nostalgic and familiar and Oikawa longs to bury his face in Iwaizumi’s shoulder and forget the world like he used to. He doesn’t. Instead, he nods dumbly and without looking at Iwaizumi’s face, he walks back inside. He’s greeted by Yuudai’s curious face as he looks at the two of them with interest.

   “It’s funny. Whenever I talk about you at dinner, my dad calls you Trashykawa. I’m pretty sure he likes you though?”

   Oikawa thinks Iwaizumi always was accurate with his nicknames.

~o~o~o~

   Remaining the same while the rest of the world passes by you is a surreal experience. Oikawa feels himself getting “older and wiser”, but the same face looks at him in the mirror every morning and night as the years pass by. He watches Yuudai grow up, from a curious child to a fiery teenager with a burning passion for his father’s favorite sport. He watches as old friends finally find the one they’re destined to be with and relish in the feeling of growing old again.

   He watches Kageyama and Hinata make it into the Olympics. He watches them win the gold for Japan. He watches them kiss each other on the field and watches as the crowd coos and ahhs over the “Soulmate Duo”.

   He should be angry. He should be at least bitter about how after everything, Kageyama ended up beating him in life too. The Olympics, his soulmate during out to be his best friend, a victory: He got everything Oikawa wanted.

   Back in high school, he would have been. He probably would have thrown a fit, or at least called up Kageyama with a venomous “Tobio-chan~” and promised to beat him the next time.

   But Oikawa had learned a thing or two from watching the world pass. He figured that even though he’ll never get the life he wanted, the life Kageyama has, he’s glad that someone who has proven again and again that he deserves this life, got it. At this point, he thinks of Kageyama as an extension of himself and prides himself on the thought that he might have helped shape Kageyama a little bit, one way or another.

   (He does end up calling Kageyama, only with a much friendlier “Tobio-chan~”, and tells him to make sure the press knows that it was his darling Oikawa-senpai that taught him everything he knows. Kageyama just laughs and tells him that he and Hinata already mentioned him and the rest of Aoba Johsai in a press conference.)

   Oikawa continues to watch the world spin.

   He attends every single one of Yuudai’s games in middle school and high school. He feels the same pride he did towards Kageyama towards Yuudai, proud that it was him who concentrated those killer skills and motivated the boy into becoming the ace, and eventually the captain.

   He saw, no, sees so much of Iwaizumi in him that it hurts. Every day Oikawa spent training Yuudai, every game he goes to, he sees traces of his old friend, of the boy he loved.

   Every time he goes to Yuudai’s games, he sees Iwaizumi and his wife.

   Oikawa isn’t a day over 24.

   He still feels a pang in his chest when he looks at them and wonders if it ever stops hurting.

   He supposes it’s all part of growing up. It must still hurt because he isn’t.

   Yuudai eventually graduates high school with a scholarship for volleyball and no injuries in sight. Oikawa always made sure he took care of himself whenever he had the chance to mentor him and supposes Iwaizumi must have too. Perhaps Oikawa could be blamed for that.

   And the world keeps spinning.

   Yuudai approaches Oikawa his first year of college and practically begs him to be his mentor. Oikawa relents, never being able to say no to him, and in between his own job, he helps him train using knowledge he gained from his university experiences. Yuudai goes on to help his university team win practice match after game after tournament and Oikawa is full of pride and longing.

   Iwaizumi is at every match. Sometimes, he’s with a little girl who bounces up and down every time her brother spikes a ball on the court. He’s always with his wife though. Oikawa notes that he’s always happy, and that soothes him a little.

   He still hasn’t called him. The last time they spoke was when Yuudai was still in Oikawa’s classes, striking up small talk during pickups and drop offs.

   Then come the Olympic trials.

   To no one's surprise, Yuudai makes it on the team, “makes it” being an understatement. He blows the crowd away with his perfected spikes and abilities, bursting at the seams with excitement and evidence of hard-work and practice.

   Oikawa cries when he sees him perform on TV and little does he know, Iwaizumi is doing the same a couple miles away.

   (Oikawa cries harder because of what he couldn’t do. Iwaizumi does the same.)

   Kageyama calls Oikawa a couple weeks later talking about “some kid with Iwaizumi’s surname that won’t stop talking about you and do you happen to know anything about this?” And all Oikawa can do is laugh.

   But the world just seems to want to keep moving, and Yuudai leaves, moving out to be closer to the team and away from his parents.

   Yuudai calls him a couple years later in an excited flurry of words about how he’s finally found his soulmate. Apparently, she’s a big fan of volleyball and came to see one of the games. Yuudai found her so stunning that he couldn’t get any words out and ended up stuttering over an attempt to get her number. Oikawa teases, calling him a Casanova and Yuudai just snorts.

   Oikawa isn’t a day over 24 and the girl’s name is Tsubasa Matsukawa. Oikawa asks who her father is. Yuudai replies that she has two: Matsukawa Issei and Hanamaki Takahiro. Oikawa smiles.

   Apparently Matsukawa and Hanamaki had adopted a daughter and moved to this town a couple years ago. Yuudai calls it fate. Oikawa calls it a small world.

   It’s the first time in many years that a phone call has left his cheek burning and his phone hot from overuse.

   Yuudai and Tsubasa never get married. Yuudai’s never been one for big events, still nervous whenever he has to attend parties or the opening ceremonies for the Olympics, and Tsubasa, ever the activist, simply refuses to get married until it’s legal for her fathers to do the same. When she explains this to Oikawa one day, his heart swells with affection and he tells her how much he loves the idea. The crooked smile she gives him is so much like Hanamaki’s that it’s uncanny.

   A wedding would give Oikawa an excuse to catch up with Matsukawa and Hanamaki again, but even though his heart yearns to at least greet the two again, he’s partially relieved he doesn’t have to attend one. He doesn’t even know what he would say or where to start. How do you use words to apologize for the years of not saying enough?

~o~o~o~

   Yuudai’s Olympic debut feels like it was yesterday. Oikawa supposes this is what happens when you never age, when you never treat each day like it’s one step closer to your last.

   It’s been almost 50 years since that day. A lot happens in 50 years, and Oikawa has begun befriending graveyards and memorizing gravestones.

   The purple hyacinths Oikawa is carrying droop a little as he rests all but one on top of a headstone that reads “Iwaizumi Hajime”. The other goes on top of Iwaizumi’s wife’s headstone, set right next to her husband’s. He sits down on a worn patch of grass right in front of the two and hums a nameless melody.

   He wonders if Iwaizumi ever forgave him for never calling. For never trying to jumpstart their lost friendship again, and instead pouring all of his attention into a son that wasn’t his. Deleting Iwaizumi’s contact name from his worn phone after he received news of his death was probably the hardest thing Oikawa’s ever had to do. Second even to not dialing Iwaizumi’s number the day he got hurt in college.

   What might have come from dialing Iwaizumi’s number? He figures his heart still would have been broken, because no matter how many times he had kissed his long time love, Iwaizumi wouldn’t have been his soulmate.

   (Or, perhaps he might have been. No one knew if it was possible for someone to have more than one soulmate. It was wishful thinking. It was breaking Oikawa’s heart even more. He’d never know.)

   He comforts himself with the fact that even though he never formally apologized to Iwaizumi, he was still able to partially make it up to him in the form of his son. Oikawa had focused every ounce of his being into making sure Yuudai succeeded and that he was always there for him as an apology to Iwaizumi for not doing the same.

   Back in high school, Oikawa couldn’t imagine a future without his best friend by his side.

   Now Oikawa isn’t sure what was worse: watching the world pass by, or watching the world pass by without Iwaizumi in it.

   (Oikawa figures out what’s worse when he receives a teary phone call from Yuudai and has to lay more hyacinths on Matsukawa and Hanamaki’s graves the next year.)

   And the world keeps turning.

~o~o~o~

“The hardest part of growing up is letting go of what you were used to; and moving on with something you’re not.” ~Unknown

[bkdk-n-tasty]

Get to know your Blogger ♥

I guess this is a get to know your blogger post. This will contain tidbits about me + some of the fics I love (both by others and myself) and artists I follow religiously ♥ 

About me-

I haven’t given myself an actual name on here, whoops. You can refer to me as Bunny or Angel. I’m the definition of disaster bi, I get weak-kneed with both gorgeous guys and girls. Hence why I tend to write/headcanon some of the characters as such. I’ve been writing fics since my high school days though those were more based on books and not a one actually had a solid plot. I managed to do one long fic and actually finish it with a half-decent plot. I love writing about more taboo subjects, I write a lot of dirty ass smut but just because I enjoy writing it doesn’t mean I support it irl. It’s just more fun for me ;;” Honestly I had originally made this blog so I could unabashedly post all the love I have for these two nerds and have somewhere to stick my more risky fics of them. ♥

Series/characters I love-

BNHA/MHA, BKDK, KiriKami, InaTodo, Bakudekukirikami (very good poly ship tbh), UraTsuyu, SeroMina, MonoShino, EraserMic, EraserMight, MicMight, EraserMicMight, MiriTami; Inuyasha, InuKag, SessRin, MiroSan; Sailor Moon; Pokemon, RedBlue, Ferriswheel, PreciousMetal; Fruits Basket, all the canon ships give me life tbh; Love Stage; His Favorite; Bond of Dreams, Bond of Love; Digimon; Angels of Death, ZacRai; Morose Mononokean, AshiyaAbeno; Haikyuu, Asanoya, KuroKen, TsuYama, TakeUkai, Oiwa, MatsuHana, BokuAka, ShiYach, SemiTendo, DaiSuga, KageHina ((and god knows how many more lmao))

Artists I love- 

@bkdkink @corzev/ @corzev-art @baconmacandcheese @askkacchan @kawaiikrisschan

Fics I love-

Molon Labe, Izuku's Home for Wayward Pets, Eyes on Fire, Quiet Rapture, Forced Attraction, In A Sky Of A Million Stars (Who Cares If One More Light Goes Out?)

Fics I love that I wrote-

I really enjoyed all the work I did for Twinstar week tbh; Daddy Dearest, My dad is better than your's; I don’t have that many stories posted yet ;;;” But the Dragon story I have in the works + a beauty in the beast kinda story are starting to become my favorites so far, so you have that to look forward from me ;P 

[seijch]

which one of the haikyuu boys would you befriend irl? c:

i actually have a draft for a tag game from forever ago abt this so i wont include them (matsuhana, kuroo, futakuchi) ... also i know you said ONE but i never know when to shut up so i simply will Not ❤

THE SITUATIONALS: terushima, tanaka, noya, yamamoto, the miya twins ... these are the ones that i do rlly think i could and would get along with ....... if and ONLY if we ever get to that point!! if i knew these guys irl i wouldnt interact w them under normal circumstances so smth would have to happen for the ice to break but once it does you can bet were 🤞🏻🤞🏻

THE CLASS FRIENDS: yamaguchi, yachi, the karasuno third years, moniwa, kita, aran ... these are the ones i would . i mean . only be friends with in class bc i dont see myself having much in common w them outside of it 🤕🤕🤕 i promise i love them we just dont have much to talk abt that isnt small talk!

...UNLESS?: suguru, shirabu, atsumu ... these are the three i KNOW i wouldnt be fond of irl mostly bc of how they come off to others but theres potential for a friendship (or at the very least smth not ENTIRELY based off of vitriol) there

smack me w a pillow or smth (sleepover event)

[akascow]

im not the same anon as the one who sent you that ask but the vibe you give off to me at least is like a slightly unhinged but funny character who either is neutral in the main conflict or works as a spy who's very necessary and unreliable because despite having the ability to choose which side would win just keeps fuckin around for the fun of it and causing general chaos and mayhem

PLEASEJFNKA

the way youre kinda right tho

[doubletan]

thank you at @oikiwaoi for tagging me!

lipstick or chapstick: neither i dont like the texture of it on my lips but preferbaly chapstick since it stop my lips from chapping?? LMAO

last song you listened to: the yuri!!! on ice skate tracks album HAHA im alw playing it 

top 3 shows: CODE GEASS (its my fav anime of all times pls watch it), haikyuu!! and the master’s sun (i LOVE this kdrama w all my heart)

top 3 characters: OIKAWA, IWAIZUMI, lelouch

top 3 ships: IWAOI, OTAYURI, MATSUHANA

tag 9 people (some irl friends &classmate and some people(w easily typed usernames) that i see popping up in my notis!) : @penelope-disick @hanyuismybae @yukxhira @junhao-chew @dragona15 @magicsilly @nishinoya-trash @himitsuno @oikawa-toorude