#INSOMNIA IS NOT MY FRIEND 😭

[dorimimimimi]

Part 8???? I think??? At this point I lost track 😂😂😂😂 ANYWAYS HERES IS MEMES TAGG IHAVE DONE AT 1-2am CAUSE I HAVE MOTIVATION LIKE THAT HEHEHEH!!!!!!

The people who are included are @beauleifu @chimemori @jelloangela @synoo @screechinmare

These memes are made for beaus server!!! Just remember I leave no context and I leave only one clue. 👀

[magistralucis]

Hello! Can I please get a "I'm right here" for soft gop sebinsky? 🥲

"I'm right here." - Soft Gop!Sebinsky

-------------------

Ever since you moved to the dacha much about life has been easier. Even insomnia is easier. It is how you lie awake now, greeted neither by the weight of work nor pinprick blinks from the opposing apartment, the windows lighting up one by one as the neighbours begin their day. Here there is only darkness. Darkness, and blissful quiet, punctuated in tandem with yours and your lover's breathing.

But there's more out there, of course. If you choose to look.

You close your eyes for a long moment. Count the indeterminable seconds, and open them again, gazing beside you where Vincent is fast asleep. Then slowly, you rise, slipping from the covers as a page slides from an envelope.

This routine's as familiar on this floor now as it was in your city apartment. One foot then the other, from rug to slipper. Some years ago you mutually agreed to have the beds downstairs, and so as soon as you get up, the rest of the dacha is yours to explore. You look back at Vincent for a moment, tussling with the urge to stroke his silver hair or leave him be - before compromising with a gentle touch upon his shoulder, after which you depart, tiptoeing to muffle the sound as you set out on your night-journey.

Two dozen steps every way and that would've been it, back in the old apartment. Here, though, you can make it a real journey if you want.

(Do you want?)

Consider the indoors. There's the kitchen, the counters, half of a syrup loaf from the earlier afternoon. (Mixed nuts and dates, topped with demerara sugar.) The hand-carved chairs, freshly cushioned and covered by Vincent last winter. Table with papers laid out upon it. Summer comes early in these parts of the land and even in this early hour you see blue, damask blue, painting gentle dots across the floor through the sheer net curtains. They drift beneath your feet and you feel as if you're standing in the middle of the lake.

It'd be nice to go later, when it's light. You might even go fishing. What Vincent's been teaching you since last summer won't go untested.

A tiny smile drifts to your mouth. You're not conscious of those things normally, let alone in the middle of insomnia walks, where past the initial waking your senses tune towards anything but yourself. At the dacha and in the woods, though, it's hard not to be aware of those things: just about everything that's around you was here long before you came by, you are the changeable element, unlike in the city where everything shifts all the time. How good it is, then, that you have friends who change in tandem with you. Some right next door, some in the city (cities), some abroad. The last thing you did before going to bed was to draft a letter to one of them. That's the papers laid out on the table; you don't sit at it or anything, just look, tiptoeing on the wooden floor as the dawn rosy-fingered drifts between the blue and lights up the last page enough to be legible.

... to your newest exhibition. We're still waiting on L. and M. on the plans to meet them halfway, hopefully we can bring them along; autumn in Moscow is an incandescent time, and I'm counting down the days before we're all sat together again, gathered around the same table once more. Send Bob our greetings. See you both very soon.

P. S. You are probably no longer surprised to hear this, but yes: last year's bumper crop is still keeping Vinco and I fed. We're down to two jars that need to go before the strawberries comes in, but by the time this letter reaches you it might well be that time, so: might I tempt you with a jar of gooseberry jam when we come? Or two? Either of you? Let us know.

All that's left are well-wishes and the stamp. You'll take it to be posted in the morning.

(You think that like this isn't morning, functionally speaking.)

That's as far as you can go this way, unless you have business in the kitchen. You might well stop here and make tea - you've greeted Vincent that way many a time in the past, sitting quietly by the table upon the other's awakening, soft steam rising from your cup - but the dawn-light holds you back, beckons you to come join it for the time being. You step into your outdoor shoes and slip out the door.

In the single second you cross the threshold your breath streams white, then fades totally into the daybreak.

The clouds are thick above your head. Still darker than the surrounding firmament, though even as you watch you can swear it's getting lighter by the minute. The perimeters outside your garden and fence remain dense and impenetrable, but right here's the banya - the chicken coop, the hens within clucking sleepily as you tiptoe past - the quail run, the dovecote, two fishing rods propped up against the wall.

The breeze is cool. You close your eyes as it brushes your cheek, feeling as if you were never awake; it's not so much the sense you're in a dream, but that you never took shape upon this universe at all, as if you were but a distant watcher high above or sideways. You are not tired, it does not weary you. You are like a river.

How fast the time, those years gone by, rolling like raindrops off your hair.

You remember the first times Vincent brought you here. When you both came just to look around, the time Vincent turned at the gate, holding up the keys with a sunshine smile; the day you spent moving in proper, your belongings in bags and boxes and suitcases, and shared the first meal at your new home. One could argue these instances lay along a single continuity of events, but to you it felt like something new every time, even at the same site with the same house by the same person. Monotony is not a guest in your life. The joy you feel about existing, combined with those not-awake liminal moments, apply constant renewal to your moments.

This is the fifteenth year of sunflowers. You step around the dacha to examine the flowerbeds behind it: already the stems are as tall as the fence, soon to tower over your head. As you lean in you notice one of the side-buds has grown too heavy for its stalk, and has snapped it and itself sideways. Nothing unusual in the grand scheme of things, but you are thankful you saw it in good time. You gently pull the stalk free. With any luck it might bloom in a bud-vase, or it'll bask in the sun by the window, eventually to become part of a dried bouquet. They're a good way to make use of what you find in your land or the forest - that, or the various flower-crowns Vincent is fond of making for you. In midsummer you'll often find him sitting outside, taking a break for lunch or watching the birds, idly weaving the colourful stems in his large warm hands. Roses, sunflowers, berry-blossoms in pink and white.

Life is beautiful. You and your beloved are encased in it.

---

When you come back indoors you find that Vincent is awake, his hands interlocked casually behind his head. You've probably been out for over half an hour, but he has not left the bed, nor is he remotely surprised that you've been roaming: he's only borne witness to this for about three decades, after all. Perhaps he was awake from the very beginning, perhaps not, but either way he knew exactly what was up. He grins sleepily in greeting, and you smile back, crossing the room to find a bud vase for your flower. "Gone adventuring, Seba?"

"Not nearly far enough for an adventure." A trickle of water, then in the sunflower goes, many-angled sunlight dancing within the glass. "Did I wake you?"

"No, but when I woke up you were gone." Vincent turns to lie on his side, his gaze softening. "I missed you."

Something vast and golden blossoms in your heart. You look at Vincent, unable to hold back your smile, the sort that feels almost like the precipice of tears; it's such a simple thing, to be missed when you are absent, another thing you are always surprised to feel. Nobody made you feel like that when you lived alone - a period that objectively wasn't long, and has been thrice outcompeted by the life you spent by Vincent's side - and that is the feeling that anchors you fully to the waking world again, as it has done so many times before.

"Well, no longer, I hope." You say, and slip carefully back into bed at once. Your body is cool from the outdoors, and for a moment you think your lover might not like that, only to be proven incorrect when he wraps you happily in the covers. "I'm right here, Vinco. I haven't gone away."

[phagodyke]

istg one of these days.......

[shyrule]

apparently it’s shocking that zopiclone doesn’t help me sleep whatsoever

[threadtalks]

Anyway I'm technically a fashion designer and this swim top happened on accident.

I somehow totally mess it up (well, not totally but e_e it's a pain to go back and fix stretchy garments because of the zigzag stitching.) I really meant for this to be a day project but it's so hard to get things done when you're in pain. It's also tough because I did this 100% using draping and my dress form isn't actually my size.

[virydia]

Promise

Hehe eepy babies 🥰

I like to hc that alastor has terrible insomnia/doesn’t really sleep much and when it gets bad Estelle just sings for him and he’ll just knock out lmao

Also the thought of alastors minions/shalastor joining in and knocking out too lives rent free in my head

Taglist: @diamond-almond @echobeez

Bonus scribbles:

Also earlier I accidentally colored alastors teeth white and it took me so long to realize like HM WHY DOES HE SEEM DIFFERENT…get this man some whitening strips for his teeth please 😭

Also my friend pointed out on the first page he looks like Harry Potter but anime and I can’t unsee it ARGGHH

[cvnt4him]

hurt/comfort with vigilante! izuku where he reunites with his s/o has been plaguing my thoughts 😭

Let me relieve you my darling<33

You were in your room staring up at the ceiling, something you found yourself doing time and time again these past months. Insomnia was a bitch and it seemed to have taken over you as a whole, engulfing you in its dreadful misery, making you stay up despite feeling tired. You were stuck, all because of him.

Thinking about how your oh so selfless and caring boyfriend left you... and your friends of course. He held you close, incredibly close the night before he departed. He spoke such sas words with such huge meanings, yet you were so tired and in such peace in his arms, you hadn't even noticed he was saying goodbye. He knew what he was going to do and told you goodbye. It made you feel so guilty waking up the next morning to see everyone standing in the middle of the lounge with saddened expressions slathered across their faces.

They held pieces of paper that you didn't have. They explained to you what it said in a long story short and it broke your heart. Then was when you finally pieces together what he was saying to you the night before. it broke you terribly so.

Thinking about that horrible day made you turn over in your bed and cry. You cried and cried and cried into your pillow silently. Sniffling and hiccuping as far tears rolled down your cheeks, your eyes reddening from how hard you were crying. You were crying so much it hurt, your throat was aching and your head was pounding. You had cried for the rest of the night.

The day completely flew by in a blur, you didn't take down any notes during class, hardly interacted with anyone at all, didn't eat during lunch. You were completely heartbroken for so long and it's affected your daily necessities. Once you'd read online how a broken heart can kill, sometimes during the night when you're crying you think about that and it leads to a panic attack. Your nights are restless and cruel. How you hated them, but you didn't hate them more than you did the day. They were long and tiring and so so so draining.

You found yourself once again, lying restless in your bed. Thinking about your oh so cruel and selfless boyfriend once again. One thing that kept crossing your mind was if he still thinks about you. Or at all in that fact, you wondered if he still considered you his girlfriend despite the two of you not being near each other for about 2 months.

You sigh at the thought, feeling the annoying and painful tinge of tears filling at your waterline. Just before you could turn over and do your routine all over again you hear a knock at your window. You jumped, startled at the sound that erupted from the balcony.

You gulped and wiped what little tears you needed to and got up, legs wobbly and you stumbled your way to your balcony opening it and walking outside and looking out in the distance. You seen a night sky and a crescent moon, no stars but some clouds present. The trees leafs billowing in the wind, you take a deep breath in and let the crisp night breeze fan your face. Closing your eyes you exhale and suddenly feel extremely relaxed. Like this is what you needed.

You hum, a small smile trickling to your face, tugging at the corners of your lips. Basking in this moment you're suddenly taken by surprise, whole body being grasped and flown into the air, you nearly scream but couldn't get a sound out as something, a hand wrapped around your mouth. You continued to try and scream through the hand covering your mouth before you hear a shushing sound. The person behind you shushing you as they held you close to their chest.

"shh.., it's okay. calm down. It's alright, I've got you.."

The voice, despite being muffled and somewhat deepened and groggy, sounded vaguely familiar. Scratch that, completely familiar, a voice you prayed you hear again. Every single night you prayed and prayed and prayed silently that he would come back to you, that he would come and get you. At least let you know he was okay.

Tears spilled from your eyes uncontrollably, you hiccupped and tried to catch your breath before you were swiftly turned around and your face was buried into his filthy chest. He reeked, he smelled so bad yet you couldn't begin to care. This proved it, he had thought about you. He cared about you. He..

" I love you..."

You couldn't muster words, choking on air as he rubbed circles into your back. You sniffed and wailed into his chest loudly. He brought you to the roof and sat you both down, holding you tightly.

"izu.. izuku.. how could- could you leave like that?! It- you—"

When you finally looked up to him you seen his dingy and dirty mask, it was ripped and kind of overed in muck and debris. Your wailing stopped as you looked at him, his face turning away. You pulled him back by his mask before trying to lift it slightly before he pulled it back down.

"izuku..."

You tried again, a lot slower and gentler this time in hopes he'd let you see his face, it had been 2 months after all. To your surprise, he let you. You took his mask off lifting it over his head, once it was finally off his eyes were slightly squinted, it'd been a while since he took off that mask. Seeing through a dark mask all the time might have a bad effect on your eyes.

You sighed at his face, all sad and tired the bags under his eyes were worse than yours. He looked dead, pale, completely ghost like. It was startling. Your rat of sunshine who brightened everyone's day was dimmer, he was completely burned out. It hurt you to see him this way.

"y/n... I can't comeback.. not yet."

"wait what?! no no no no you- you have too! you-"

Izuku bit his lip trying to hold back his tears before he kissed you, his soft yet dried lips capturing yours and holding them there. He breathed in through his nose and held his breath trying to stay in this moment with you for as long as possible before it broke.

He placed his forehead to yours and his breath was wavery, shaking. He sniffed having a hard time holding back his tears. He wrapped his arms around you in a sweet embrace and snuggled his face in your neck.

"I'm sorry."

AN: ah, a shitty ending to a shitty story. As much as I enjoyed creating this I feel like it's lacking a huge hint of flavour, alas I am too lazy to change it around. So enjoy!

[lubrumalis]

ghost headcanons! (realistic)

tw: nsfw, spoilers, dead dove do not eat

a lot of these are based off of my personal understanding of him

part 2 —> character analysis of ghost

general:

didn’t go back to manchester after his family died, too many foul memories—a lot of friends will probably know him as a murderer (comic reference, ghost was accused of killing his family in the newspaper)

has a fit body. a lot of people like to hc him as big and bulky, i think otherwise! its actually a huge disadvantage to be bulky in size as a soldier (logistics while fighting yk). most SAS soldiers are trained for endurance and fitness, i think he has a moreso lean body

hes not cold and ruthless, wouldn’t say hes a big softie either.

VERYYYY punctual. always on time

will not abuse or rape anyone. this guys been through atrocities, he would never do it to someone else

won’t hire a prostitute, ever.

honestly, hes just another dude in the military. he loves dad jokes and bourbon😭

ghost doesn’t think hes mean or tries to be, he simply is intimidating because of his size and way of talking

he likes watching soccer in his free time

gets internally offended if someone thinks hes from london (anywhere but Manchester)

very dark humoured. tell him any dark joke and he wouldn’t care

loves tea

listens to older british bands, like the smiths

cannot understand modern slang at all. what does ‘iykyk’ and ‘rizzler’ mean???

texts like a typical millennial. uses ‘😂’ and ‘😜’ unironically. types with proper grammar and spelling with punctuation too, maybe an occasional LOL

also unironically likes posts about trust issues and being a sigma male. he doesn’t actually think hes one, he just relates to those quotes that are like: “being alone is better than with fakes” 😭😭😭😭

ghost probably hates other men more than misandrists 😕 i think its bc hes always fighting other men and dealing with the cruel things theyve done, so ghost subconsciously feels more on guard with men he doesnt know

has insomnia

doesn’t cry. ghost doesn’t remember the last time he cried.

isn’t rich rich, but has a ton of savings. he doesn’t have a family or spend a lot. so the money piles up.

relationship hcs:

first off, i dont think he’d realistically get into one anyway LMAO

s/o would have to the chasing, i dont think ghost is the kind to actively pursue someone

he has charisma, doesn’t feel like using it

hes very against the idea at first—his family got murdered because he was in the military, you think hes gonna let it happen again?

probably will not like someone working with him as a soldier

i think itd go two ways: a) you are a civilian who aggressively pursues the poor guy and he gives in, b) you work as a military nurse and gradually get to know him, c) you are a longtime close friend of his before he was in the military

i cant see him being fwb with anyone, only one night stands

hes not a toxic partner or super lovey dovey

ghost doesn’t entertain multiple women at once

itd most likely end up in a breakup where he fears for your safety:(((

BUT lets ignore that

tbh, i think he would probably be with someone very empathetic and kind to others. he doesn’t like people overly energetic, too soft, or someone that annoys him

persons gotta be independent and good with long distance

simon doesn’t care about age gaps, but probably wants someone at least in their late twenties

had a hard time opening up, eventually told you everything once he trusts you

another reason why i think he wants someone empathetic is because he has severe trust issues😃😃

last thing he’d care about is looks for long term relationships

the type of guy to disappear for 6 months and reappear to be like “remember im your husband???”🫡

doesn’t let you tell your friends about him—No hes not being uncommitted or toxic, but hes simply being cautious after what happened to his family

you can’t show anyone photos of him, his name, his occupation, NOTHHINGGG

so you fake a name for your bf who your friends think you’re lying about

definitely does not let you post on social media about him either.

installs security in your home, teaches you self defense, and gives you weapons. this guy can be paranoid

will never hit you or lay a hand on you

ghost genuinely thinks you saved him—his life was bleak and empty before you came in. subconsciously thinks of you as a savior

he buys you gifts, does chores for you, he really likes you :(

ghost actively tries to make his voice sound softer and friendlier when hes talking to you

doesnt understand playing mind games, things like the silent treatment or “im ok” when ur not ok thing. just tell him how you feel

doesn’t tell his team about your existence. you and his job are always going to be separate.

avoids talking about what he does in the military. ghost has killed and injured many and he doesn’t want you to see that side of him.

scary dog privileges for SURE

[reiding-writing]

Incessant Insomnia [ s.r ]

summary:

The BAU had just finished a case across the country in California, and were now finally on the jet to fly back home, needless to say, everyone was absolutely exhausted and very ready to get some shut eye during the 5 hour flight. Trouble was, Spencer couldn’t sleep, even though he had managed to bag the jet’s sofa, which was arguably the comfiest place on the plane.

pairing: spencer reid x gn!reader

genre: hurt/comfort, friends to lovers?

warnings: mentions of canon-typical violence, mentions of child death, mentions of touch-starvedness, no use of y/n

wc: 2.4k

masterlist!!

a/n: this is my first upload so please bare with me i’m still learning 😭

As you board the jet alongside your team, you can't help but notice the exhaustion etched on Spencer Reid's face. It had been a grueling week, with a disturbingly gruesome case across the country that took all semblance of mental energy out of the team to solve. Spencer, ever known for his genius-level intellect and unwavering dedication, didn’t take a single moment to rest throughout it.

And even as he scored the jet’s long sofa for the flight, arguably the most comfortable place on the plane, that moment of rest still didn’t arrive, and Spencer had long given up trying to fall asleep by the time the jet had stablised at 40,000 feet.

He’d tried everything, a Tchaikovsky Sonata playing through his cheap headphones, a travel pillow around his neck, his shoes discarded on the floor so he could curl up his legs under him, he’d even counted the amount of dimmed lightbulbs in the light strips and the number of creases in the leather bound chairs. Nothing. And he was becoming increasingly jealous of the rest of the team resting soundly in their seats.

He’d battled with insomnia for most of his life, a curse of his intelligence as he liked to call it, his mind constantly running so fast it never gave him any time to relax. But this was a little different. Spencer hated working cases involving children, for what ever reason they seemed to press all of the wrong buttons in his mind, and in this instance, the child they’d been called out to save had died before the team had even arrived in California to help.

Spencer couldn’t seem to get the image of anguish from the child’s mother from his mind, replaying like a faulty cassette player with no pause button as he rolled onto his back and let his eyes fall back open. There was no way he was going to get any sleep on this flight.

He instead took to an ever-living comfort of his, reading, in the hope that his inner monologue would drown out the guttural sobs ringing through his ears from the grieving mother when the team had uncovered her child’s body, buried underneath her own house.

He pushed himself to sit upright, his legs stretched out in front of him to the point where his feet were hanging freely, and he rifled through the go-bag left tucked under the sofa beneath him for his hand-bound anthology of his favourite poets, a book you’d gifted him for his birthday a few months prior. A book he’d read a dozen times since then.

His fingers traced over the familiar cover. He could almost feel the indentations of the embossing on the hardcover, a tactile memory that was as comforting as the words within. The pages were already dog-eared from countless readings, corners turned down to mark passages that had resonated with him, pen marks and streaks of neon yellow over phrases that had touched his soul in ways that only the poetic articulation of human emotion could.

It had become more than just a collection of poems to him; it was a sanctuary, a haven he could escape to when the horrors of his job became too much. He cherished each line, each word, each letter, as they provided a counterpoint to the harsh realities he faced daily. Except, this time it didn’t seem to work.

His mind was still overrun with images of the recent case, each line of verse morphing into a haunting reminder of the child’s life cut short. The words that usually brought him solace now echoed with a sorrowful undertone, amplifying his guilt and making his insomnia all the more pronounced.

The jet’s engines hummed steadily in the background, a usual comforting sound, now merely adding to the cacophony of his thoughts. His eyes, red-rimmed and weary, scanned over the pages, but the words blurred, morphing into a tale of despair that was not originally intended by the poets.

He tried to divert his mind, to block out the pictures of the crime scene, the teary eyes of the distraught mother, the lifeless body of the child, but it was all in vain. Their faces, their voices, their cries, they clung to him, refusing to let go.

His fingers tightened around the book, knuckles whitening with the strain. He could almost hear the deafening silence that followed after they’d found the body, the grim realisation that they were too late, that a life was lost before they could even try to save it.

Spencer felt a lump rise in his throat, the weight of the guilt and sorrow threatening to suffocate him. He swallowed hard, trying to push down the emotions that threatened to break him. He was a profiler, a genius, he was supposed to save lives, not let them slip through his fingers.

He closed the book, the once soothing words now a stark reminder of his failure. He leaned back against the plush leather of the seat, his legs stretched out in front of him, his eyes staring blankly at the ceiling. The soft hum of the jet's engines was the only sound that filled the silence, a silence that was deafening in its own right.

Sleep was a distant dream, an elusive solace that he knew wouldn’t come. The guilt, the sorrow, the failure, they were his companions for the night, refusing to leave.

“Spencer…”

Your voice cut through the chaos ravaging his mind, and he flickered his eyes to his left, where you were comfortably curled up under a fleece blanket, head nestled in the small gap between the padded chair you were sat on and the jet’s wall, eyes resting closed.

“Why are you moving around so much..?”

Your question was cut short by a yawn, voice laced with an obvious exhaustion. His restlessness must have woken you up.

"I can't sleep," he confessed, rubbing his temples. "The case... it's still playing in my mind." His voice was barely a whisper, the silence of the jet amplifying its weight.

Your eyes fluttered open at his confession, a mix of concern and understanding washing over your face. You knew how deeply these cases affected him, how they seemed to burrow into his mind, refusing to let go.

"Spencer," you murmured, your voice barely louder than his own. "You did everything you could. You always do."

He glanced at you, his weary eyes meeting your earnest ones, but he didn’t respond. He didn’t have the words to explain the turmoil churning inside him. “We didn’t- none of it mattered…”

You sighed, removing yourself from the comfortability of your previous position, letting yourself sit with your legs in front of you and your feet on the floor. “Spencer of course it mattered,”

Spencer pushed himself upright as you did, subconciously mirroring your actions as you wake further from your half-asleep daze.

“He still died-”

“He was dead before we even landed Spencer, there’s nothing you could’ve done to change that,”

You cut off the inevitable start of a ramble from Spencer, raising your voice a little to take over the conversation whilst still making sure not to wake your sleeping teammates scattered around the jet.

“I know… I’m sorry i’m just-”

Spencer sighs, dragging his hands over his face and through the unruly mess of his hair, flattened and tangled from his incessant restlessness. “I’m fine… Sorry for waking you,” He let himself fall backwards to lie down again, turning onto his right side so that his back was facing you, as if not being able to see you would put an end to the conversation.

You didn’t say anything else, and Spencer resigned himself to listening to the mind-numbing drone of the jet’s engine as he heard you shift around, presumably getting back into a comfortable position to fall asleep again.

Except you weren’t quite done with him yet, and your weight on the edge of the sofa shifted his position as you sat down, your hand ghosting over his shoulder, not quite sure if you should actually touch him or not.

You knew Spencer had an aversion to physical touch, he always had, as long as you’d known him anyway. He’d rattled on about the number of bacterial colonies on human skin and how their transference could lead to illnesses you wouldn’t even try to name, swerving handshakes for awkward waves and keeping a pocket-sized bottle of hand sanitiser on his person at all times. He’d insist on keeping his distance, even from the people he was closest to, claiming that ‘you never knew what illnesses someone could be carrying’.

But you also knew that he needed comforting, and that words seemingly weren’t enough.

You gently placed your hand on Spencer's shoulder, your fingers just barely grazing over the sleeve of his shirt, offering a silent comfort that words couldn't provide. He tensed for a moment, his body still on high alert from the intensity of the never-ending rampage of his thoughts, but then slowly relaxed into your touch. The weight of his exhaustion seemingly lifting off his shoulders as he allowed himself to lean into your presence.

The soft warmth of your touch seeped into his skin, soothing the deep-rooted ache within him. It was a small gesture, but it spoke volumes, conveying a depth of understanding and empathy that words could never fully capture. In that moment, you became his anchor, providing a much-needed respite in the midst of his turmoil.

As Spencer leaned into your touch, his eyes closed, shutting out the harsh realities that had plagued his mind. He found solace in the simplicity of your presence, the tangible reminder that he wasn't alone in his pain. The weight of the guilt and sorrow that had threatened to suffocate him slowly began to dissipate, replaced by a sense of comfort and support.

You sat there in silence, your hand still resting gently on his shoulder, offering a steady presence that allowed him to find a temporary refuge from his racing thoughts. You didn't need to offer empty reassurances or try to fix what couldn't be fixed. Instead, your mere presence and the touch of your hand conveyed a profound message: "I am here for you."

Time seemed to stand still as you sat there, connected by that simple touch. It was a fragile moment. Fragile, but powerful.

You slowly added a gentle pressure with your fingers, rubbing your thumb over the curve of his shoulder as his behaviour showed that the contact wasn’t crossing any boundaries, as Spencer felt the tension in his shoulders ease and his racing thoughts begin to quiet, a sense of calm washed over him.

The weight of the case and its tragic outcome still lingered heavily on Spencer's mind, but your presence provided a much-needed respite.

“I’m so tired…”

You slowly escalate your touch, running your hand slowly over his shoulder and up the side of his neck, careful to watch for any signs of discomfort from him.

“I know Spence…”

The soft nickname rolling off your tongue only fuelled to add an extra blanket of comfort over him in the moment, although joined by an uncertain ache that spread through his chest until it felt almost suffocating. Your touch comforted him more than he could ever thank you for, but it also upset him beyond belief.

Spencer couldn’t stop the tears from welling in his eyes, nor could he stop the slight tremble of his shoulders as they threatened to spill down his cheeks, and the shaking of his breath only proved to expose him further as you slowed the gentle caresses of your fingers to a halt.

As you felt the weight of his emotions, you gently pulled him into a comforting embrace, allowing him to release the tears he had been holding back as he buried his face into your lap. You held him tightly, offering a safe space for him to let go of the pain and sorrow that had consumed him.

“I’m sorry-”

Spencer choked out an apology through his tears, as though his emotions were burdening you. His tears soaked into your shirt, but you didn't mind. You were just grateful that he felt comfortable enough to let his emotions out, to release the pent-up pain that had been haunting him.

“Don’t apologise Spencer, it’s alright…”

You whispered soft words of comfort and reassurance as your hand moved to slowly run through his hair, reminding Spencer that he was a brilliant and compassionate person who had done everything in his power to help. You reminded him that he couldn't shoulder the weight of the world's tragedies alone, that he needed to take care of himself too.

Slowly, Spencer's sobs subsided, replaced by deep breaths as he regained control of his emotions. He pulled away slightly, his eyes red and puffy, but there was a glimmer of gratitude in them.

"Thank you," he whispered, his voice filled with both exhaustion and appreciation. "I don't know what I would do without you."

You gently guide his head back down into your lap, allowing him to use your thighs as a makeshift pillow so he could finally get some rest from his own mind. “It’s alright Spencer, just relax for me alright?”

As Spencer finally succumbed to the exhaustion weighing him down, his breathing gradually slowed and his tense muscles relaxed. You continued to stroke his hair gently, your touch offering a sense of comfort and security that Spencer desperately needed.

The weight of the case and its devastating outcome had taken a toll on him, both physically and emotionally. He had carried the burden of the child's death on his shoulders, blaming himself for not being able to save a life that was already lost.

But in your embrace, he felt a glimmer of hope.

With each gentle stroke of your hand, Spencer felt a wave of warmth wash over him. It was as if your touch carried with it a healing energy, easing the pain and sorrow that had consumed him. He closed his eyes, allowing himself to fully surrender to the comfort and safety of your embrace.

In the silence of the jet, Spencer's exhaustion finally overcame him. His body relaxed completely, finding respite from the relentless strain it had endured as it fell into a peaceful slumber. You continued to hold him, providing a sense of security and warmth that he hadn't felt in a long time, and you slowly fell into your own exhaustion, your fingers slowing their movements through his hair to a halt as you drifted into your own state of sleep.

[harmoonix]

Tales of the white fox

🌸 (Astrology Observations) 🌸

~We are here, we're all alone in our own universe~

──────────────────────

🌸 Jupiter in Aquarius/Jupiter in the 11th house, Jupiter finds joy among the friends here, if you are attracted to men this placement can indicate a very friendly spouse/boyfriend

🌸 Uranus square the Midheaven (MC), was raised to be rebellious, unique, having an eccentric nature, this placement can make you independent in your career

🌸 Out of all the signs and based on my experience Cancer, Pisces, Libra and Scorpio placements need the most reassurance to feel better

🌸 Leo Moon (Moon in Leo Degrees 5°, 17°, 29°), what I honestly appreciate about them is their self worth, these natives appreciate themselves so much

🌸 Neptune/Moon/Pluto/Sun in the 1st house are sensitive planets to have, mostly because can make the native's body to be more sensbile than the rest, they can have sensitive skin/hair/can get allergies fast and can be prone to acne sometimes

🌸 Mars in the 5th house natives are those type of people who invite you at the party and get the most drunk out of it, when they say they enjoy life, trust them

🌸 Mars in the 11th house or in Aquarius (Mars at 11° 23° degrees) there can be some sexual tendencies between them and their friends, sometimes even flirt or just friends to lovers

🌸 Moon in the 10th house natives weakness can be that they expose their sensitive energy to others, sometimes without knowing

🌸 When you have South Node aspecting Saturn and someone did you wrong in a past life they can backfire by him in this lifetime (Not sure 100% of this obvs yet)

🌸 Sun aspecting the ascendant can make you to be open communicative/open minded/open at the heart, gives people a good energy when they're around you

🌸 South Node in the 9th house could've possibly have studied or practiced occult or witchcraft in a past life

🌸 Venus in the 8th house on Venus in Scorpio at their worst can steal other people's energy, to be like a energetic vampire especially when it comes to seducing

🌸 Eros (433)/Juno (3)/Groom (5129/ in the 2nd house can get spoiled by their hubbies, but also they can have this type of bf who can cook for them

🌸 Eros (433) in Libra/Scorpio/Pisces/Aries > Roses on the bed 🛏️, maybe with the text "I want to make out with you" is definitely their thing

🌸 Moon aspecting the ascendant, this beautiful aspect makes the native to have beautiful eyes, maybe a lot of people have told you this too

🌸 Uranus in the 9H/11H their friends group can be a combination of everything, every nation, every ethnicity, every race, are in their friend group

──────────────────────

Forever and ever together, we sail into infinity

─────────────────────

🌸 Sagittarius Risings have their 8th house in Cancer which indicates that they seek for nurturing and a safe place/security in bed, I'm not a Sag Rising but I love this energy period.

🌸 12th house placements love sleeping especially Sun/Moon/Neptune and Saturn!! Sleeping is their hobby I swearrrr (Cannot relate I have insomnia with a 12H Sun😭)

🌸 Mars or Aries in the 6th house can practice a lot of sports! Idk but they need a lot of movement and stimulation and they love to compete with others

🌸 The 6th house in your chart can also tell you about how you are with the plants/nature and their energy

🌸 fire sign or mars in the 2nd house can be prone to eating fast, you see them eating a soup and it the next 2 minutes the soup is gone.

🌸 Virgo in the 2nd house/Earth Sign in the 2nd house, you cannot tell me that they're not eating something healthy or something that contains some vitamins/protein

🌸 Moon or Venus in the 2nd house or Taurus/Capricorn can have gifting as a love sign, they love buying things for their loved ones

🌸 Sun in the 3rd house/Gemini makes the native to be really a curious one, like they be the one telling "What's this for" "What does this thing do" etc + they can also put a lot of questions they're adorable imo

🌸 Venus in Cancer/Venus in Cancer Degrees 4°, 16°, 28°, for some reason I thought of an angel while writing this, definitely the vibe of "the mom of the group" they take care of everyone!!

🌸 Ascendant at 11°, 23° degrees can make the native taller/slimmer/skinny (Aquarius Degrees)

🌸 Mars in Virgo/at Virgo Degrees 6°, 18° there is something so sensual about their waist?? Is definitely something seductive

🌸 Jupiter in the 9th house, I see people saying they gonna travel a lot with their hubbies but this placement can also indicate meeting your bf/spouse in school/highschool/university etc

🌸 Moon in Sagittarius (Sagittarius Degrees 9°,21°) somehow their outstanding energy makes them to get along with everyone in general these natives are pretty known for having large groups of friends

🌸 Pluto aspecting Mercury natives can tell when they're being lied at, don't try to lie or hide things from them, first because is very dissrespectful and second because they're gonna get hurt

──────────────────────

Tonight, tonight eternity's an open door

No, don't ever stop doing the things you do

Don't go, in every breath I take I'm breathing you

──────────────────────

🌸 Moon conjunct/sextile/trine Venus, these natives are genuinely loving, you fall in love when you're with them, they're also kind and that makes them adorable

🌸 Your Saturn placement can also tell things about your dad some examples here:

Leo Saturn - Prideful Dad, can put themselves into the spotlight/attention but also confident

Virgo Saturn - Analytical dad, a dad who thinks about all the situations and circumstances

Scorpio Saturn - The dad can be very changing in his mood, dad went through a lot when he was young and very defensive towards his loved ones

Aries Saturn - This gives me the cool dad vibe but somehow the dad with anger issues, bold but easily getting angry

Cancer Saturn - Nurturing dad, they can be sensible to your needs and often wanting to make you feel better

🌸 "Quincunx" aspects can sometimes have a more challenging energy than squares or oppositions!

🌸 Aquarius Risings are bold when it comes to fashion take Zendaya as an example, she always wears very attractive clothes!! They can also have a unique way of styling themselves

🌸 A lot of gamers can have their 11th house prominent or prominent Aquarius energy in their house aswell as Gemini or Virgo!!

🌸 Capricorn/Libra/Scorpio/Aries Men give dominant energy!! Especially if they share common things between eachother in the natal chart

🌸 Asteroid Ceres (1) aspecting the ascendant indicates the native needs nurturing, maybe their body/mind/soul/heart, maybe a little self love..would help you so much!❤️

🌸 Ceres aspecting the Moon (in positive aspects) this placement can mean having a nurturing mom, and that you tend to be nurturing with most people in your life

🌸 Jupiter in Libra or at Libra Degrees 7°, 19°, > Is not always about your spouse girly..😍 this placement often shares loves/compassion and kindness towards you, but you definitely look after a relationship...Like Jupiter expands this side of you anyway🤣

🌸 Scorpio/Aries/Capricorn and Gemini in the 3rd house can indicate talking dirty a lot of cussing/cursing its becoming a habit..

🌸 Aquarius and Sagittarius in the 3rd house LOVE to be sarcastic when they talk I swear, they're like "Let me tell you something ************" and "ARE YOU SERIOUS?? ..after they say "I'm just sarcastic 🤌🏼"

🌸 SUN or MOON in the 9th house makes the native to be drawn toward other cultures and traditions, but in the same time they are abundent in theirs. Embrace your culture!!🌸

🌸 Venus/Sun or Mercury in the 5th house can have multiple talents/passions they're extremely creative esp if you have these plantes in a air or water sign

~ A new week today, that means a new post for youuuu so here we go y'all! Enjoy! Also have a great start of the week everybody! 🌸🌸🌸

Har🌸🌸nix

[iamtired10]

once upon a sleepless night

pairing: pham hanni x fem! reader

genre: pure fluff.

warning: mention of mother insomnia and kissing.

SUMMARY: it’s one of those sleepless nights again. you’re restless, mind racing, but hanni, even though she’s exhausted from her long day, decides to tell you a whimsical fairytale to help lull you into dreamland.

you sighed as you leaned back in your chair, stretching your arms and glancing at the clock on your desk. 9:53 a.m...

“i’ve been at this for four hours straight.. still tired but not sleepy,” you muttered, rubbing your forehead as a persistent ache throbbed. regretting the 7 cups of coffee you’d downed today, you wondered what you could do. you always felt drowsy in class and needed the caffeine to stay awake.

rising from your chair, you decided a break was in order. grabbing your phone and a lollipop from the desk (a sweet gift from your best friend’s sister while you were hanging out), you settled on the couch. you turned on the tv and started scrolling through your phone.

absentmindedly munching on the lollipop, you browsed instagram, checking out the latest posts from newjeans.

**buzz! buzz!!**

a notification popped up, jolting you from your scrolling.

pham honey:

hey there, gorgeous..

the love of my life..

do you need me to bring you anything before i arrive?

your eyes widened in surprise. you paused your lollipop mid-chew, reading hanni’s message over and over.

“wait—what does she mean by 'she’s coming'?” you wondered aloud, trying to recall if she’d mentioned a visit today. nothing came to mind. she’d been swamped with idol commitments, and it had been a month since you last saw her. newjeans had just had their comeback, and they were buried in work—stages, photoshoots, and all the usual idol grind.

and you missed her. a lot.

her hugs, her kisses, her voice, her smile, her playful teasing, her jokes—everything.

you quickly tapped out a response, your excitement evident.

you:

wait you’re coming over? 

omg, you could’ve given me a heads up! 

i didn’t clean my room today 🙂💔 

and all i need right now is 

you ❤️ 

come back soon 

our plants miss you so much 

i mean, our ‘kids’ 

simpsona smith 

and flex armstrong

pham honey:

hehe i wanted to surprise you 🤭 

i’ve got a day off tomorrow

so manager unnie finally gave me the go-ahead to visit you.. yay! 

what did you mean by ‘you need me’ though? 😏 

care to explain? 😜 

and i MISS our ‘kids’ so much 😭 

have they grown up at all? 🥺 

i’m going to shower them with water and love when i get there 🤭

you:

well it’s not a surprise anymore😕

when i said i need you, i meant that i miss you so much, you silly bunny

you’re the only one who completes me

honestly i can't even put into words how much i miss you

could you hurry up a bit

so i can finally give you that big hug?

pretty please 🙏🏻

pham honey:

ooh~ 😏

someone seems extra needy for my affection today huh?

alright i’ll try to walk faster

but be patient, baby.

patience 😉

and...i’m super excited to see you.

i MISSED you too… like a ton?

i’ve been hugging my pillow at night, pretending it’s you ☹️

i can’t wait to shower you with kisses, like SO MANY kisses.

and cuddle you endlessly.

i LOVE YOU so much that it’s hard to even describe.

oh my god why are you so perfect?

you’re unbelievably perfect and i can’t believe you’re MY girlfriend, mine <3

you’re mine

oh god 🤭 i THINK I’M OBSESSED.

seriously baby... marry me 😍

you:

stop texting

and come home quickly

you walk so slowly with your short legs ☹️

and don’t you dare be late

pham honey:

wow. that’s kind of rude!

alright alright 🙄

you couldn’t help but smile as you set your phone down. “why is she so cute...” you murmured to yourself. with a sense of urgency, you mentally chastised yourself. “y/n, clean the room before she arrives!” you told yourself as you stood up, lollipop still clutched between your teeth.

you made your way to your room, determined to tidy up. the bed was reasonably clean but still a little messy. you didn’t want your perfect girlfriend, hanni pham, to see it less than immaculate. she deserved everything to be just as perfect as she was.

while humming contentedly and chewing your lollipop, you changed the bedsheets to fresh ones, making sure everything looked neat and inviting.

after you finished, you glanced at the clock. it was 9:31 p.m.

“when is she coming back...” you wondered aloud as you grabbed another lollipop from your desk, tossing the stick from the previous one into the trash. you stepped out of the room, a chuckle escaping you as you imagined hanni possibly tripping over her own feet. it was amusing but also a bit worrying.

hanni was always unpredictable. like, REALLY unpredictable.

you never knew what kind of delightful mischief she’d get up to next...

and it only made her cuter.

you loved her for it.

you loved her for exactly who she was.

you reached for your phone, which you’d left on the couch earlier. the tv’s soft hum played in the background, a distant noise in your current state of anticipation.

just as you were about to enter the final number of your password—

**ding-dong!!**

the doorbell rang loudly, making you jump slightly. “is that her?” you mumbled, the lollipop still dangling from your mouth.

“probably her,” you mused to yourself.

you made your way to the front door, fingers gripping the doorknob. you took a deep breath, peeking through the peephole to get a glimpse of the visitor.

there she was—standing outside the door, looking absolutely adorable in a hoodie...

wait a second—

IS THAT YOUR HOODIE!?

with a resigned sigh, you thought, “nothing new, she’s swiped my hoodie again…”

but she’s finally here...

why am i so nervous? you wondered, turning back to the door. slowly, you opened it. before you could even get a good look, she leapt into your arms, hugging you like a koala.

“oh my god, hanni, i can’t breathe,” you groaned, feeling her arms tighten around you. “come on, you’re squishing me.” even as you grumbled, you couldn’t deny how much you needed this.

“no way,” she mumbled into your neck. “i’ve waited a whole month to hold you again. baby, i missed you so much, like a person who’s lost something vital and can’t get through the day without it.” you stood there, unable to stop the smile spreading across your face, as you wrapped your arms around her. with your foot, you nudged the door shut and locked it.

“can you let go now?” you asked, making your way into the living room.

“uh-uh,” she shook her head, her nose buried in your scent. “why do you always smell so good?” she asked, pulling back just enough for her eyes to meet yours. she looked both exhausted and exhilarated. “i don’t use much perfume. it must just be my natural scent,” you shrugged, still chewing on your lollipop as you gently tried to pull her off the couch.

“no, don’t pull away!” she protested, pouting and crossing her arms, clearly disappointed. “you can’t just push me away after i’ve missed you so much!”

“you just came in from outside. go wash up first, you might have germs. i can’t risk catching anything—eww,” you teased, a smirk playing on your lips as you settled down on the couch opposite her. she huffed in response, turning her head away with a dramatic sigh. “seriously, how could you be so rude?” she grumbled.

“i’m just being careful, you know. can’t help it if that bruises your ego,” you teased, a smirk playing on your lips. “and let’s talk about the whole stealing thing, shall we?”

“stealing? me?” hanni raised an eyebrow, looking at you like you’d just accused her of some heinous crime. “when did i ever steal?”

you rolled your eyes, finally taking the lollipop stick out of your mouth and licking your lips. “don’t try that innocent act with me, pham. it’s not gonna work.”

she huffed dramatically. “fine! i might’ve borrowed one hoodie…”

“oh, just the one?” you crossed your arms, leaning back with a knowing grin.

“ugh, okay, fine! three hoodies!”

you shook your head, a mock-serious look on your face. “no more cuddles for you—”

“five! okay, five of your hoodies! happy now?”

you chuckled, clearly amused. “now i am. i think i'll call the cops now. imagine the headlines: ‘newjeans’ hanni caught red-handed stealing five hoodies from a fan, scandalizing her career.’”

“oh, shut up!” she pouted, crossing her arms. “i have every right to take your hoodies! i need something that smells like you when i miss you... and i even left one of my favorite hoodies with you, didn’t i?” she tried to sound indignant but it came out more like a whine.

without warning, she launched herself at you, nearly knocking you over. you caught her with a laugh, holding her close as she snuggled against you like a clingy koala.

“seriously, you’re gonna give me a heart attack one day,” you grumbled, though you couldn’t hide the smile on your face as you felt her warm breath against your neck.

“oh, please. you’re the one who was begging me to get here fast so you could hug me,” she retorted, her voice muffled against your shoulder.

you ran your fingers through her hair, a soft laugh escaping your lips. “okay, maybe i was being a little sweet... but i didn’t mean it that much.”

“liar!” she pinched your side playfully, making you yelp.

“ow, hanni!” you whined, trying to pull away, but she tightened her grip around you.

“hmm..” she looked up, her eyes meeting yours, weary and soft. “you look exhausted,” you mumbled, gently rubbing her back in slow, comforting circles. she sighed, cupping your face in her small hands. “i am... really tired... today’s practice was brutal. we recorded a new song today and... oh! you know, dani tried to moonwalk and tripped over her own feet!” she chuckled, her eyes lighting up for a moment. “haerin and i had a dance battle... but she beat me this time. minji was teasing me, as usual... and, oh! by the way, hyein told me to say hi. she misses you.” hanni rambled on, her voice a sweet melody to your ears. you couldn't help but chuckle softly as you brushed a strand of hair behind her ear.

“you’re just too cute, baby... i can’t handle it,” you sighed, feeling a surge of affection wash over you. her cuteness was something that always left you both awestruck and grateful.

sometimes, you wondered what good deed you had done in life to deserve a girlfriend as wonderful as her.

“oh, shut up... i’m not that cute,” she grumbled, hiding her face in your neck, her voice muffled. “i don’t get why you and bunnies find me so adorable... you guys are too much.” she playfully hit your chest, causing you to laugh. you pulled her closer, enjoying the way she felt in your arms. “oh, my hanhan is flustered, i see. did i make you blush? yayyy!”

“l/n y/n, can you shut up... or i’ll kiss you,” she threatened, pulling back with a pout. you smirked, “oh really? but sorry, i'm busy eating my lollipop right now.” you teased, chewing the lollipop with a mischievous grin. she rolled her eyes. “is it weird that i'm jealous of that lollipop? you’re giving it more attention than me—”

“excuse me!? pham hanni, stop being so blunt!” you raised your eyebrows, feigning shock, as she crossed her arms, her expression daring. “can’t help it when you're licking that lollipop like that... it's kinda seductive.”

you felt your cheeks heat up, caught off guard by her words. “y-you're so weird...” you muttered, turning your gaze away. “don't look at me like that, you little freak.”

she chuckled at your flustered state, her fingers gently tilting your chin back toward her. “what look, darling?” she asked, raising an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at her lips. before you could respond, she reached out and popped the lollipop out of your mouth, bringing it close to her own lips. “hey, what the hell? that's mine!” you protested, but she just grinned wider.

“it must be really sweet, the way you were eating it... i want to see if it's as good as it looks...” she murmured, her voice dropping to a low, teasing whisper. your eyes widened in realization. “no! don't! that's gross, i already licked it! a little kid gave me that, and you can't just—”

“who said i was going to taste it from here?” she interrupted with a chuckle, her voice sultry and suggestive.

you froze, narrowing your eyes, trying to process her words. then it hit you.

“pham hanni, don’t you dare—”

before you could finish, she leaned in, capturing your lips with hers in a kiss that felt like she had been waiting forever for this moment.

her lips moved against yours with a hunger and intensity that left you breathless, her hands tangling in your hair as she deepened the kiss, leaving your lips swollen and red, and a few love bites on your neck as souvenirs.

just your average pham hanni behavior...

“baby, you're not sleeping?” you snapped out of your thoughts as you looked up from your notebook. you stopped writing and saw hanni lifting her head up from the bed. her hair was a bit messy, her eyes half-open, wearing one of your pajamas, looking absolutely adorable.

“ah.. i just have a few things to finish, my sweet bunny. did the lamp wake you up? sorry, i'll turn it away a bit..” you smiled, adjusting the light so it wouldn't bother her. hanni sat up with a sigh, rubbing her eyes. “what do you mean by 'a few things'? it's 2 a.m... you should be in bed too...” she yawned, clearly still half-asleep.

“can't sleep...” you admitted with a small, nervous laugh, turning your chair to face her. “did you have a nightmare or something? do you want me to cuddle you again?” you asked, getting up and moving towards her side of the bed. she reached out, grabbing your shirt sleeve and pulling you closer, wrapping her arms around your waist. “no, you're the one who should be sleeping...” she mumbled, her voice still heavy with exhaustion.

“you didn’t get much rest last night, and now you’re up again... working through the night like an owl or something,” she huffed, pressing her face against your stomach. you chuckled, patting her back gently. “baby, i can’t help it... even when i’m dead tired, i just can’t seem to fall asleep, no matter what i do...” you admitted, watching as her eyes widened slightly.

“has this been happening a lot lately?” she asked, concern evident in her tone. you nodded. she sighed, “sounds like insomnia... you’ve got insomnia, babe.”

“yeah, you could say that... but don’t sweat it.” you shrugged, rubbing the back of your neck. she scoffed, “don’t sweat it? do you even know how bad insomnia is?! it makes you tired... *yawn*... gives you poor concentration, mood swings, and increased stress or anxiety... it’s sooo bad. it can lead to health problems like heart disease, high blood pressure, and even accidents due to drowsiness...”

“oh... you’re making it sound like a big deal...” you laughed nervously, your hand gently caressing her back. "it is!” hanni insisted.

“we need to fix this.. chamomile tea, meditation, melatonin…” her voice trailed off as sleepiness tugged at her again. despite her best efforts to stay awake and worried for you, she was clearly still exhausted. all she could think about was making you chamomile tea in the morning or finding a meditation video on youtube to help you relax.

“you’re still so tired...” you tilted your head, observing her. “yes, but you’re even more tired than i am... so get in.” she sighed, letting go of your waist and scooting over to make room. “huh, what?”

“get in bed, dumbass,” she said, snuggling back under the blanket and patting the space next to her.

“uh... okay, let me just turn off the lamp...” you murmured, reaching over to turn off the light before climbing into bed beside her.

you groaned as you turned to the other side... it's been an hour now, and you still can't fall asleep. beside you, hanni was fast asleep again, clearly exhausted from her long day. you could hear the soft sounds of her breathing, occasionally mumbling something in her sleep and pulling you closer, snuggling against you.

“god... why the hell can't i sleep... i'm too tired to deal with this,” you sighed, rubbing your neck and opening your eyes. “i can't just lie here doing nothing... maybe i should get up and read a book in the living room, don’t want to wake my tired baby again...” you thought, carefully trying to get up. but as you moved, you realized hanni’s arm was still draped over you, holding you tight.

you blinked. “she's asleep... i’ll just move her hand aside... she's too sleepy to notice,” you thought as you slowly began to lift her arm off your shoulder. but you failed, accidentally jostling her awake.

“y/n-ah, what are you doing...” she murmured sleepily, her voice groggy with fatigue. you closed your eyes, silently cursing yourself for waking her up again. “uh, i need to pee...” you blurted out nervously, trying to come up with an excuse.

“huh... you've been to the bathroom like four times already... do you have diabetes too or something?” she muttered, slowly opening her eyes. “oh god, why did you give my baby all these problems...” she sighed, shaking her head.

you blinked in surprise. “no! i don't have diabetes! what the hell...” you exclaimed, and she chuckled softly. “then why do you keep running to the bathroom, huh?”

“okay, fine... i lied. i just... can’t sleep,” you admitted with a sigh, dropping your head back onto the pillow. “can’t sleep?” she whispered, pulling you closer. you nodded, feeling her warm breath on your neck. she sighed gently. “is there anything i can do to help you? do you want me to make you some chamomile tea, baby?” she offered, her voice filled with concern despite her own exhaustion.

“no, you should sleep,” you insisted, shaking your head. “but i can't sleep peacefully when you're struggling to sleep, baby. you're going to be exhausted tomorrow, and that's not good... just tell me if there's something i can do. i’m not going back to sleep if you don’t...” she said, softly caressing your cheek.

“i don’t know... but your voice calms me a lot... if you don’t mind... could you tell me a story?” you asked, snuggling closer to her. she hummed softly, her fingers gently brushing through your hair. “you want me to tell you a story... like a fairytale or something?” she asked quietly. you nodded against her shoulder.

“let me think of one, baby...” she whispered, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead as she continued to stroke your hair. “hmmm... i remember one that my grandma used to tell me when i was little...” she said, and you looked up at her, a small smile tugging at your lips.

“close your eyes and just listen, okay? don’t think about anything else, just listen. it’ll help you fall asleep...” she murmured, placing gentle kisses on each of your eyelids, making you feel even calmer.

“okay, baby. i'll just listen,” you mumbled, closing your eyes. she chuckled softly, pulling you even closer. “that’s my baby,” she whispered, her voice soothing as she began her story.

“once upon a time,” she began, her fingers gently threading through your hair, “there was a princess.”

hanni closed her eyes, letting her imagination bring the story to life as she spoke, her voice a soft, soothing hum that blended with the quiet of the night.

“this princess lived in a beautiful kingdom, where everything seemed perfect and peaceful. but despite all the beauty around her, the princess felt a deep unhappiness inside.”

“why was she unhappy?” you asked, curiosity getting the better of you.

“babe, you said you wouldn't talk,” hanni teased, pausing her hand in your hair for a moment before continuing. “but well, the princess was unhappy because, although she had everything she could ever wish for, she was lonely. she had a kingdom and all the luxuries one could imagine, but she had no one to truly share them with, no one who genuinely cared for her.”

“she had her parents, of course," hanni went on, her fingers resuming their gentle, calming motion through your hair. “but it wasn't the kind of connection she was yearning for.”

she paused, her voice her voice dropping to a softer, more intimate tone.

"then, one day, the princess met a knight..."

"the knight came into her life like a breath of fresh air..." hanni murmured, her voice soft and dreamlike. "he was unlike any other man in the kingdom.. he wasn't interested in her wealth or her title.. he treated her with kindness and respect.. not as a princess, but as a person.."

hanni smiled at the thought of the knight, her fingers tracing lightly along your jaw.

“the princess was captivated by this new person in her life...” she continued in a whisper, her touch tender and affectionate. “she found herself drawn to him in ways she couldn't explain.. maybe it was his courage, his loyalty, or just the way he saw her for who she truly was...”

“as time went on, the princess and the knight grew closer...” hanni said, her voice now a soft murmur, almost like a lullaby. “they spent time together, sharing their thoughts and dreams.. learning more about each other with every passing day...”

her hand moved gently down to rest on your chest, feeling the steady rhythm of your heartbeat.

"as they got to know each other, the princess realized she was falling in love with the knight.." hanni whispered, her hand drifting down to rest lightly on your stomach. "he was everything she had ever dreamed of and more.. and to her surprise and delight, she discovered that he felt the same way about her.."

"time passed, and their love only grew stronger.." hanni continued, her soft, melodic voice drawing you deeper into a state of calm and peace.

"they were blissfully happy, cherishing every moment they could spend together.." she murmured, her fingers gently tracing along your skin, soothing you further.

"but the princess' parents... they didn't approve of their love.. they had other plans for her.. they wanted her to marry someone of higher rank.. someone who could bring more power and wealth to the kingdom.."

"they forbade their relationship.." hanni said, her voice tinged with a note of sorrow. "they wanted the princess to marry a suitor who would benefit the kingdom politically, not a humble knight.."

"the knight and the princess were heartbroken.." hanni whispered, her hand stilling for a moment on your hip. "they tried to reason with her parents, but it was in vain.. her parents were determined to marry her off to someone else.."

"but the knight knew he couldn't just give up.." hanni continued, her voice firmer now, filled with quiet determination. "he didn't care about status or wealth.. he loved the princess, and he was resolved to find a way to be with her.."

“so he went to the king and boldly asked for the princess's hand in marriage.. the king was furious and refused, but seeing the knight's determination, he set a challenge.. if the knight could complete three impossible tasks, then he could marry the princess,” hanni explained.

as hanni continued the story, her voice calm and soothing, you began to feel drowsy.. her storytelling was comforting, her gentle caresses on your hair making your eyelids feel heavy.

"the knight, with the unicorn's horn in his possession, presented himself before the king, having completed all three tasks.." hanni murmured, her hand now tracing soft patterns on your arm. "seeing that the knight had succeeded, the king had no choice but to honor his promise and allow the knight to marry the princess.."

"and then they live happily ever after...." you mumbled sleepily, a small smile tugging at your lips.

hanni chuckled at your sleepy comment, her hand continuing to gently run through your hair.

"yes... it's a classic fairy tale.. the knight overcomes all obstacles, wins the princess's heart, and they live happily ever after.." she whispered, her voice carrying a hint of playful amusement.

“thank you... han... for the story and for everything... i love you... so much...” you sighed, feeling yourself drifting off, the world fading away.

“anytime, my love... good night.. sweet dreams, and remember to dream of me, okay?"

a/n: i really enjoyed writing this, and i hope it brought you some joy too. thanks so much for reading, and have a wonderful day or night! :)) (i need a hanni fr...)

[vaaaaaiolet]

“Tell me a story, please?” you add, hiding a smile under the edge of the blanket. A kiss is bestowed upon on your forehead and the cave opens for the night. Leon clears his throat theatrically. “This story is about a girl, and a boy who loved her very much.”

Leon keeps his best tales under lock and key, and you crack one out of him on a particularly sleepless night. He thinks you might like this one.

f / m, fluff sprinkled in with angst and emotional hurt, insomnia, grief + mourning, leon is a sweetheart he just loves you :(, he basically tells you a fairy tale before bed

word count: 1.6k // read on ao3

a/n: um. norman fucking rockwell, baby. if you catch the lyrics from "How to disappear", i love you. i wrote this fic like i was possessed 😭 nothing was planned

There aren’t any waves outside your landlocked bedroom window to lull you to sleep, but there is another ocean view you can think of. You turn to the other side of your pillow, biting your lip hopefully.

“Hi, sweetheart,” the view mumbles, ocean eyes groggy and losing the fight against sleep.

You’re in luck.

“Leon,” you whisper. 

“Mm.”

“Can’t sleep.”

“Don’t know why…you’re not tired,” he yawns, his blond lashes almost fluttering closed before snapping open at your wide-eyed expression, “when you’ve been running through my mind all day.”

You cram the comforter to your chin and flip to the other side of the bed with a groan. 

Leon chuckles, giving your shoulder a sleepy shake, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” 

He’s not sorry. But you relent anyway. 

“Tell me a story,” you mumble as he tucks you back in.

You brush a strand of hair across his forehead to unveil those ocean eyes again. They’re faded and tired, yes, but they’ve also seen more of the world than you could ever dream of. The only good thing to come out of Leon’s mysterious missions to the ends of the earth is the treasure trove of stories he brings back with him, like a Cave of Wonders, filled with only the best for you to unlock. You don’t know anything about the outside of that cave – he stops telling the story if you ask – and you’re not in any position to argue as the clock ticks closer to morning.

“What’s the magic word?” he nudges.

Is he really going all open sesame on you too?

“Tell me a story, please?” you add, hiding a smile under the edge of the blanket.  

A kiss is bestowed upon your forehead and the cave opens for the night. Leon clears his throat theatrically. 

“This story is about a girl, and a boy who loved her very much.”

“One thing you have to know before I start anything though, sweetheart, is that this girl was a spitfire. Completely unreasonable. She was the type to pack a grocery cart full of ice cream she swore was on discount only to have all of it be full price and melt in the checkout line.”

(“That was one time!”)

“Never said a thing about it being you, sweetheart, shh. You’re supposed to be trying to sleep. But either way, this girl couldn’t be you because she was a princess – a real pretty one at that. Sweet, smart and kind like little girls grow up wanting to be. She lived in a castle by the sea on an island in the middle of nowhere, and here’s what I heard about her on my last mission. You’ll like this one.

“Life on that island was as peaceful as you can get in a fairy tale. She had plenty of mermaids for friends and animals to keep her company, but you can’t help getting lonely after the years start passing by. The princess was stuck there, you see.”

(“How’d she get there to begin with?”)

“Uh-uh, you’re interrupting me.” Leon teases. “Story or no story?”

(“Story, please.”)

“Magic, alright? Say she got stolen away by some evil witch like Rapunzel did and her kidnapper drowned in the sea. I don’t know. But it didn’t really matter because that island became home after a while. A beautiful home, but lonely all the same. The mermaids all returned to their castle under the sea when the moon came up and the princess wished had somebody she could sleep next to when it got cold at night. 

“She was fond of stories too, like somebody else I know, and after all those years on that island, she’d read every book in the castle and longed for someone who could tell her something new. All she ever wished for on her birthday was a friend. ‘Just for a little bit’, she’d beg.”

Leon sucks in a careful breath.

“So one night, the ocean decided to send the princess a birthday present just like she asked. A magic tide deposited a little boat on the edge of her island, and when the princess woke up the next morning and looked outside her window, she saw something – or rather, somebody – slumped inside of that boat.”

(“And inside that boat was a prince?”)

“No prince. The princess made sure of it too, brave thing that she was, walking right up to the boat and taking a good look at who was sleeping inside of it. 

“The boy inside that boat was dead to the world with cuts on his face from fighting too hard. He gave the princess a good scare ‘cause he was so asleep she thought he was actually dead. When he woke up and asked ‘Who are you?’, she nearly punched him out of fright.”

(“You were right, I think I like her.”)

Leon laughs, bright and warm.

“But this boy was a real charmer, and the princess was kind, remember?”

(“Bummer.”) 

“She didn’t go around punching people out of nowhere. Especially not the first human she’d ever seen. Her curiosity got the best of her and she took the boy to her castle, where he told her he was a mercenary from a faraway kingdom. He’d been on his way to kill a rampaging sea monster when a mysterious wind blew his boat off course and right onto the princess’ island. 

“Over breakfast, the mercenary told her stories about monsters, jungles, fire-breathing dragons, stuff she’d only ever read about. She was entranced. The more he spoke, the more the princess wanted to see for herself even though she knew she couldn’t. She had to be smart about it.”

Leon swallows. He nestles the blanket around you a little tighter, like you’d slip out of his grasp, and continues.

“The boy was battered from the beating he took from his voyage, so the princess nursed him back to health. I told you she was stubborn, right? She wouldn’t take any of the gold or jewels he tried offering her from his travels. All she asked for was a new story each day he stayed with her. He agreed.

“The first week went by in a flash. The princess borrowed magic green herbs from her mermaid friends to heal the mercenary faster. The herbs made him strong enough to move mountains if he wanted to, so he pounded a couple to the ground outside her castle just to prove he could when she asked, and with the new space, the princess made him a place to stay. Turns out she was a great businesswoman; the boy spun tale after tale for her while she fixed a loneliness deep in his bones. Everything was perfect.”

(“Aww…”) 

“The boy stayed longer than he thought he would. His boat collected dust as that week turned into months. Those months grew into a year. The princess’ birthday rolled around again.”

(“Did they fall in love?”)

“They did, sweetheart.”

Leon chuckles softly.

“He ended up loving her a lot, and the princess loved him too, don’t get me wrong, but that’s not usually how it goes in fairy tales, is it? There’s a catch.”

You reach for Leon’s hand in the deep of the comforter, not remembering when he let go.

“Good sailors know not to mess with the ocean. It wasn’t too pleased with the princess keeping the boy to herself for more than just a little bit, not when he needed to get rid of that sea monster that had been killing millions of innocent people. So on the night of the princess’ birthday, the sea asked the boy to go back to being a mercenary. He needed to do his job and the princess wasn’t part of it.”

(“Tell me he stayed, Leon.”)

“Princess, I can’t-”

(“Make him stay.”)

And for the first time, Leon stutters because he never changes the story.

“A-Alright, so the boy stays. He tells the sea that he fell in love and can’t bear to leave the princess behind.”

(“And then?”)

“And then…and then he finds out he’s in over his head. The tide comes and goes, everything has to have a balance. He needed to go because he had to protect all those people, and he couldn’t do that by staying with the princess no matter how much he loved her, right?”

Lifting the blanket aside, Leon falls onto his back. You watch the ceiling fan blades spin in the dull sea-blue of his eyes. 

“The princess asked him to stay and he couldn’t say no to her. She meant well. She didn’t…she didn’t know. And they were happy together on that island until the boy’s decision caught up with him. The sea monster he was supposed to kill found their island one day, sweetheart.”

(“...Leon, no. That’s not supposed to happen.”)

“It’s how the story goes,” he murmurs, gently pressing his lips to yours.

You barely feel it; you taste saltwater in his kiss, feel it running down your face.

“But you changed it!” You’re crying, can’t find his hand. Where’d he go? He’s supposed to be here, you changed the stupid story, you have to make him stay. 

The ocean might not be outside your window, but you still see it behind glass as you prop yourself up on your elbows, heaving for breath only to find Leon’s framed picture sitting beside your pillow.

His eyes are so blue. Ghostly in the dark. 

You must have dropped it when sleep took you under. Your earbuds are still hooked up to a podcast in an earlier effort to bore yourself to sleep, but you don’t really want to hear about relaxing Zen gardens right now. Tugging everything out of your ears, your shaking finger opens the notes app. 

Right now, you’re in the mood for a story. A story with a happy ending where no one goes anywhere.

psst, find more of my work here!

comments and reblogs are very much appreciated <3 take care and i love you!

[causenessus]

Hi! Congratulations on your 1K, you really deserve it! I've just seen your post about your event and was thinking of sending something. Could you write ⭐️ with Sakusa where the reader is his roommate and suffer from insomnia ? And could the reader be personality-wise like Sakusa, but the two are already close friends or whatever you want them to be ? This is maybe silly lol, anyway thank you for this event it’s really cool!

can't sleep? | sakusa k.

sakusa x f!reader

written in second person

one word prompt from 1k followers event: ⭐ -> insomnia

"maybe i'll just place my hands over you and close my eyes real tight. there's a light in your eyes and you know <3" from look on down from the bridge by mazzy star

word count: 2.8k words

anon. thank u for this. u have fed all the omi girlies well tonight <3 thank you so much for requesting and i hope you enjoy this fic!!!

notes: lots of fluff <3 THEY ARE STRETCHING!!! JUST STRETCHING TOGETHER i stress this bc i couldn't take myself seriously and even y/n has a moment of "should i ask what we are after this?" but they're just stretching okay. also i frequented this list of stretches and literally followed its order so in case you want to know what stretch they're doing LMAO THIS SOUNDS SO WEIRD I'M SORRY 😭 i attempted to proofread this!!! but i'm sorry for any typos </3

THANK YOU TO @nectardaddy FOR HELPING ME DECIDE ON A COLOR AND MAKING ME VERY EXCITED TO WRITE THIS!! I HOPE YOU ALSO ENJOY IT <3

kiyoomi likes his routines. he likes to be home by a certain time, eat dinner at a certain time, make sure the dishes are washed, and then he likes to retire to bed by a certain time. when he decided to find a roommate in order to split costs, he had been slightly worried that his routines would be ruined, but the universe had worked in his favor.

you had been his first option. he hadn’t even tried to send out messages to anyone else "just in case you declined his offer," he had just simply hoped you would say yes. you were quite frankly everything he could hope for as a roommate; he had known from the times you'd hung out throughout your years in high school that you liked things to be clean similar to him, and trying to find a time for you both to meet up throughout college meant he knew that your current schedules would line up nicely.

and luckily you had agreed enthusiastically, excited to move in with one of your closest friends. it eased your mind to know he would also be organized and keep to himself, which was not something you could say if you had moved in with someone like atsumu (would only become a reality if you had no other option) or osamu (you would consider it, after a lot of convincing and compromising).

and kiyoomi had been right. the decision to room had worked out perfectly in nearly every way. you always got home before him and would make your own dinner and take care of your dishes, leaving the place empty and spotless for him by the time he returned. sometimes, you even left notes for him, saying you had leftovers that he was free to eat if he wanted. 

and it wasn’t that he didn’t want to see you. you were good friends, after all, and one of the few people he found he could always tolerate even when a day had stressed him out. but you both had agreed that you liked having time in the kitchen to yourself rather than two of you trying to be in there at the same time. it wasn’t anything personal; you were both independent people who valued their alone time. and when he saw you around the apartment, he never failed to talk to you, even if it was just a small nod of acknowledgment. you always had a calm and collected kind of demeanor, which he reasoned he liked because it was similar to him, in contrast to the men who had too much energy for their own good that he was surrounded by every day.

your similar attitudes had also led to a lot of shared nights together. sometimes on the nights when you stayed a little bit later at work or school, he would come home and you’d still be eating at the counter, zoned out on your phone, not even noticing him until he placed his bag on the table.

“oh, sorry, omi. welcome back, i can leave–”

“no, you’re fine. stay there,” he’d cut you off.

he’d navigate around the kitchen, gathering what he needed while you continued eating your own meal. sometimes things were peacefully silent between you both as you resumed scrolling on your phone; you were just two roommates in their kitchen, illuminated by the warm light of a hanging lamp overhead. other times you asked him how his day was, and you would both chat while he made his own dinner, and if his day was bad, sometimes you invited him to watch a movie with you.

that was something that had confused him. he always was preparing himself to say no, that he was tired, or that he just wanted to be in bed in an hour, but instead he often found himself agreeing to the proposal. he realized after a bit of thought that it was because he liked being around you. he was willing to amend his routines to include you in them.

a friend had once warned him that he could never really know someone until he lived with them. and he had found that with you, he only liked you more once he started rooming with you. he liked how responsible and respectful you were with everything you did, aware of your surroundings and the space you shared with him. he found that he looked forward to seeing you every day, and when your door was shut, sometimes he felt conflicted. like he wanted to see you, but he didn't have the right to invade your space so instead, he was stuck alone in his own room, with you across the hall.

the only problem between you both (although he hated to call it that) was how late you stayed up. but even then, you tried to be careful about how loud you were, stepping quietly over the aged floorboards and using minimal lighting to navigate your way through the apartment. 

he wasn’t going to call you out for it. it was only a mild inconvenience, and he knew you couldn’t really help it. you had warned him before you moved in that sometimes you got restless at night, unable to sleep no matter how badly you wanted to.

he didn’t mind, he told you, and you had signed the lease. and truthfully, he didn't. but recently, your sleepless nights had become more frequent. for him, he rarely struggled with the problem. he could easily pass out on his bed at any time of the day. but sometimes he would wake up to your footsteps through the thin walls.

part of him worried for you, thinking to himself that this was what, the eighth day in a row he had woken up to you wandering around? while another part of him (a very cranky one) really wanted you to go to bed (for your sake and his own).

he stepped out of his room, blinking rapidly as he tried to adjust to the lighting of the living room lamp that was on. it wasn’t as bright as if you had turned on the overhead lights, but he’d just come from his pitch-black room.

you were curled up on the couch, knees pulled to your chest and biting the side of your thumb, still unable to get rid of how antsy you felt despite getting up from your bed. you looked up at him as he stepped into the room, the light of the screen reflecting against the side of your face, “oh god, omi. i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to wake you.”

the moment he sees the bags under your own eyes, any hint of irritation he felt about being woken up immediately fades. “it’s fine,” he says, coming to sit with you on the edge of the couch, “can you not sleep?”

you exhale a long breath through your nose at the question, “no. it’s been bad lately. i can’t fall asleep or i wake up a few hours later just feeling even more tired.”

“so you’re watching tv?” he says, raising his brows and looking at you. you purse your lips, pouting under his gaze, fidgeting with the sleeve of your shirt.

you give him a small nod, “yeah. i mean, i’m really tired but i can’t sleep so i came out here to watch something.”

“well screens aren’t going to help you fall asleep,” he chides and you sigh.

“i knew you were going to say that. but what else am i supposed to do?” you complain.

“have you tried stretching?” he suggests.

you look at him, brows raised in confusion, “no, why would i do that?”

he rolls his eyes at your sass but it can’t be helped. he really only knows about the benefits of stretching because they’ve been ingrained into his mind from years of volleyball, “it helps relax your body, especially when you're stiff or sore so that you can go to bed. it’s what i do when i can’t sleep.”

“oh,” you reply, playing with a stray string coming out of the couch.

it’s silent for a moment. “are you not gonna do it? are we just gonna sit here in silence?”

you look up at him in embarrassment, “well, i don’t know what stretches to do! you don’t have to stay up with me, omi. you can go back to sleep. i don’t want you to be tired tomorrow.”

he sighs, laying back and sinking into the couch, “i’m not sleeping until you do.”

“well then tell me what i should do,” you say, extending your legs in front of you, placing them firmly onto the ground so you’re sitting up.

he stands and your eyes follow him curiously, unsure of where he’s going. eventually, he’s standing behind you at the back of the couch, and turns your head forward so that you’re looking directly at the wall in front of you. “what are you doing?” you ask, body going rigid.

“i’m just guiding you through some of these stretches, relax,” he answers and feels you calm down, letting him push your head gently towards one shoulder. his hand is on your opposite shoulder, keeping it straight while you feel a stretch in your neck.

“thanks,” you mumble as he repeats the movement for the other side of your neck. he gives you a small “mhm” in response, focused on making sure you’re feeling the stretch without hurting you.

he ends up leading you to the ground, modeling the stretches for you so that you can follow along. he guides you to lay on your side, with one arm extended out in front of you while the other is behind you, and you face each other as you both lay there, arms mimicking a T.

you giggle, unable to control yourself as you stare into his eyes. “what’s so funny?” he chuckles, smiling at the sound of your laughter.

“i just feel so stupid right now,” you answer, shifting slightly in your position. “but this is helping a bit, i think. i’m feeling a little better.”

he hums in acknowledgment of your words, his smile staying on his face before you switch to the other side.

“what’s next?” you ask, sitting up.

“do you know what the cat-cow is?” he asks, brushing off his arms from where they touched the ground. when you look at him, mouth agape, he gives you a defensive look back, unsure of what caused your reaction. “what?” he says, tilting his head slightly.

“omi, i’m not getting on my hands and knees,” you say, embarrassed that you even have to explain yourself, but you’d rather say it than humiliate yourself further on all fours.

“oh my god,” he rolls his eyes, putting a palm to his face, “you’re turning this into something it’s not. i’m not gonna look at you or anything. i’ll even turn away, okay? just do it, it’s good for you. i’m tired of hearing you complain about your back.”

you sigh dejectedly but comply, moving into the position. you can’t deny that you feel less stiff, but you also can’t help but overthink the entire situation. if anyone had told you a year ago that the man you had been crushing on for years was going to ask you to move in with him and months later he’d be on the floor stretching with you because he really wants you to be able to sleep, you would’ve laughed in their face.

but this was reality, and this felt like an intimate moment between you both. you were unsure of what to make of the situation; it had come as a big enough shock that he cared enough about your sleep. but you also shouldn’t have been that surprised. 'he’s just being a good friend,' you try to reason. he asked you to move in because no one in their right mind would want to live under the same roof as atsumu, and you both value a clean, organized house.

but where were you supposed to draw the line between friends and something more?

his careful attentiveness towards you had started to make you think that maybe he saw you as more of a friend as well. you never imagined that he would ever want you to stay in the kitchen with him while he was cooking when it had been a bad day, and you were even more surprised the first time he agreed to watch a movie with you. you considered yourselves good friends but you didn’t expect him to actually want to spend so much time with you on top of everything else he had going on. he never seemed to tire of seeing you around the house; instead, he always made sure to say hi or ask how your day had been.

you wanted to bring it up to him soon, you really did. the feeling was starting to eat away at you, and this night together wasn’t helping in the slightest.

after a few more stretches, you stood up, reaching your arms above you as you yawned. “think you’ll be able to sleep now?” he asks, following you up and dusting off his clothes.

the thought of going back to your stuffy room makes you drop your arms and the content look on your face fades away. you felt tired, but something about your room just felt so unwelcoming. you didn’t want to walk back in there, where the air would feel heavy, your mattress would be too stiff, your pillow too soft, and blanket too scratchy. there was always something that bothered you about your bed every night, and being alone with your thoughts again would prevent you from falling asleep. you’d be stuck tossing and turning in your bed on a bed that never felt clean or comfortable, you could already feel it. 

“what’s wrong?” he steps into your line of sight. you look up at him as a thought crosses your mind, making you immediately look back down at the ground, face turning red.

“um–” you start, and then immediately close your mouth. it was a stupid thought.

but what’s the worst he could do? say no? give you a disgusted look? kick you out into the cold after spending half an hour stretching with you? that last one was a little extreme, but maybe you’d say it and he’d laugh in your face. or gag (being dramatic, again). either way, whatever he said, if it wasn’t a yes, your life would be forever ruined.

“y/n,” he says, and you look back up at him, feeling like you’re about to collapse under the weight of his gaze. but your mouth opens, unable to keep it in.

“i just–” you have to stop to take in a deep breath, the words getting caught in your throat. he keeps looking at you the entire time, waiting to listen to what you have to say. “i don’t want to go back to my own bed,” you blurt, finally spitting it out. “it just doesn’t feel right. i don’t know how to explain it, but i know i won’t be able to sleep alone in my own bed. i’m sorry,” you add an apology on at the end, feeling embarrassed by your own confession.

when he doesn’t respond, you feel even worse. “nevermind, forget i said anything, i’m so sorry. thank you for helping me stretch, i’m going to go to bed now–” you spin on your heel, moving to run away as calmly as you can manage when he catches your wrist. you let out a small exclaim of surprise at the touch as he turns you back around.

“don’t apologize. and don’t lie to me. i want you to sleep,” he says, looking away as he runs a hand through his hair, preparing to say his next few words. “would it–” he shuts his mouth, feeling the anxiety settle in his chest, “would it help to sleep with me?”

neither of you are looking at each other. he’s staring at the wall and you’re looking at the floor, face hot and burning. “if you don’t mind, i think it would,” you whisper, just loud enough for him to hear and look back at you, letting out a breath he didn’t even realize he was holding in.

he’s still holding your wrist, too, he realizes, but he doesn’t let go. he runs a thumb along the side of your arm, grabbing your attention again. he’s looking you in the eyes, and he wants to tell you that he’s not uncomfortable with sleeping in the same bed as you. in fact, it’s quite the opposite, but he’s not sure what you’ll say back, so he settles for a neutral response, instead, “yeah. of course i’m fine with it.”

maybe in the morning, when he wakes up next to you, finds your limbs entangled with his under his sheets, and sees the sunlight peeking through the curtains and onto your skin, he’ll be able to choke out a three-word confession. but for now, he only leads you silently to his room, letting you slip under the covers first before he follows after, holding you close.

[kitkat13001]

⋆｡𖦹°⭒ 𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞

>> osamu dazai x reader (ft. a lil bit of past chuuya x reader)

>> comfort, slight angst, brief mentions of blood and wounds (vague, non-graphic), reader is part of the armed detective agency, reader and dazai are best friends, reader has a history w chuuya

>> read pt 2 / chuuya vers. here

it’s been a long time since the two of you left the port mafia, but sometimes it still haunts you…

full disclaimer: i’ve never actually watched more than a few episodes of bsd. so this might not be entirely lore accurate 😭 i wrote this a while back when i was super tired and in my dazai era and had this lil idea about a reader who left port mafia w dazai but broke chuuya’s (and their own) heart in the process :(

it’s late, dazai knows that much. he should be asleep, but the grip of insomnia is tight tonight. 

the sharp knock on the window snaps him out of his chamomile daze, skin prickling as he stands alert. 

the tension immediately leaves his shoulders as he recognizes the pattern in the knocking, turning the stove off and setting his tea down. 

he’s greeted to the sight of you, sprawled on his fire escape, covered in scratches and bruises, and currently bleeding from a leg wound. 

you peer up at him when he opens the window, breaking into a grin. 

you takes a breath, blowing your hair out of your face. “i’d say sorry for bothering you, but i knew you’d still be up. and you can see how i can’t exactly go to the hospital, and my apartment is another mile away, and…and…”

you trail off, breathing coming heavier. but when your eyes meet, you don’t really need any other words. 

dazai heaves you inside, careful not to jostle your wounded leg. 

the momentum is too much for your exhausted body, however, and you tumble out of his arms and onto the living room floor with a yelp. 

fortunately, you manage to maneuver so you don’t land on your injured leg, but you lay motionless on the floor, panting and staring up at the ceiling. 

you start laughing abruptly before dazai can ask you if you’re okay or rush to your aid. he just stares at you, utterly bewildered. 

here you are, bleeding from the leg, battered and bruised laying on his living room floor, and you’re laughing. 

“and just what is so funny?” he asks incredulously. 

“me coming to you, a suicidal maniac, for refuge. and help.”

the maniacal giggles fade into a soft little smile as you stare up at him. 

“well, this suicidal maniac is also your best friend,” dazai huffs, narrowing his eyes at you as he helps you to your feet. “in case the blood loss is making you delirious.”

“thank you.” the words are sincere as you continue to smile up at him with that dreamy little look.

dazai just clicks his tongue, leaning your weight against him to lead you to the bathroom. you wince every time you put any weight on your bad leg, until dazai just scoops you up into his arms. 

you look up at him with wide, curious eyes. 

“i’m stronger than i look, you know,” he replies coolly, carefully shouldering the bathroom door open and setting you down on the sink counter. 

dazai hands you a towel to stop the bleeding while he rummages around the medicine cabinet for his emergency first aid kit (that you had given him, and hadn’t once been put to use). 

neither of you speak while dazai unwraps your wound, examining it silently. it’s a flesh wound, the bullet only have grazed the side of your thigh rather than becoming lodged inside. it’s wide but not deep, no stitches necessary. unfortunately, it would need an alcohol cleaning to prevent infection. 

you flinch when he touches the alcohol soaked cotton pad to your wound, clenching your teeth and fists. 

dazai is quick and careful, trying to minimize the time he puts you in pain. 

he may be careless with his own life, but his hands were never steadier than when he was taking care of you. 

the tension slowly leaves your body as dazai finishes the cleaning, instead moving to secure and bandage the wound. 

when he finally speaks, his voice is quiet and serious, so unlike his usual tone. 

“who did this?” 

your response is little more than a whisper. “port mafia.”

“so it was…?”

you nod, resting your head against the tiled wall to avoid dazai’s eyes. “it was him.”

“he shot you?”

“he shot at me,” you reply quietly. “i don’t think he was expecting to have hit me. he wouldn’t have, if i hadn’t been so shocked.”

anger boils inside dazai at the thought. he lets out a long exhale, fingers gentle as he finishes wrapping your wound. he taps your thigh gently to signal that he’s done as he straightens up, joints popping in his back from being hunched over. 

“good as new,” he jokes, but there’s still tension in his voice and in his eyes. 

“yeah,” you breathe. “thanks.”

you move to stand up, but the cramped bathroom doesn’t allow much space to do so. in your haste, you accidentally put your weight on your bad leg, flinching and falling forward. 

unfortunately (or maybe fortunately), given your proximity, you stumble into dazai’s chest. immediately, his arms wrap around you and you’re left staring at each other, hardly an inch apart. 

you can feel his breath across your face, dazai can hear your heart beating rapidly. 

in the dim light, both of your eyes flutter shut and your lips meet like magnets. 

it’s not the first time you’ve ever kissed. not even the second, or the third. drunk kisses, kisses on a dare, kisses for comfort or simply because you were bored or even just to see what it felt like. there was never any point in defining your relationship, not with your occupation and emotional state and dazai’s knowledge of your feelings for chuuya. 

but there’s some forbidden comfort in the softness of your lips, in the warmth of your arms around his neck and your fingers in his hair. in the fleeting touches of his hands along your waist and the synchronized shallow intakes of breath and the rapid thudding of his heart. 

this is the kind of comfort he cannot find anywhere else. nobody understands him like you do, nobody knows what he’s been through the way that you do. you were there, suffering with him. suffering in unison, your hearts constantly breaking in tandem, over and over and over. 

it feels like both an eternity and only a few fleeting seconds before you break apart. 

dazai opens his eyes first, looking down at you slumped against his chest. your grip on his biceps is tight, his arms the only thing keeping you standing. he smiles softly, some sadness behind it, as he readjusts his grip to hold you more comfortably. 

“you’re tired,” he murmurs, cheek squished against the top of your head. “you should rest.” 

“mm.”

“come on now,” dazai hums, lifting your body into his arms. “you can take the bed.”

he sets you down gently, lifting the covers as you settle in, burying your face into the pillow. 

your eyes open momentarily, glancing up at him. “what about you? where will you sleep?”

“as it happens, i’m not very tired. but if i end up needing to rest, i’ll take the couch.”

you frown. “don’t.”

“relax, my dear, it’s nothing i haven’t done before.”

with that and a final adjustment of the blankets over your body, dazai turns to leave. 

he’s stopped in his tracks by your hand around his wrist. he turns, looking down at you. you're staring back with soft eyes, clouded by exhaustion but still shining with some sort of affection. 

“stay.”

your voice is soft, almost pleading. your doe eyes are entrancing, drawing him in. dazai has never been able to say no to you, and tonight is no exception. 

so he sighs a little, donning a defeated smile, and he takes a seat beside you, leaning back against the headboard. 

your hand has drifted from his wrist to his palm, tracing patterns on his skin in slow, hypnotic motions. 

you nuzzle back into the pillow, hand now still but warm in his own. 

minutes go by and dazai is sure you’re asleep until your soft voice reaches his ears. 

“i dream of him sometimes.” 

dazai looks over, but with you facing away, he can’t see your expression in the dim light. 

“chuuya,” you clarify quietly. like dazai didn’t know who you was talking about. 

the sheets rustle as you turn over, hand still clutching his like a lifeline. your soft eyes are shiny with unspilled tears when you look at him. 

“do you ever…” you trails off, sighing quietly. “sometimes, i feel like i left a part of my heart with him. it hasn’t felt full since we left.”

dazai feels his heart shatter with every word. he’s familiar to the feeling you’re describing, maybe a little more than he’d care to admit. but everyone makes choices, and this was yours. 

“i miss him,” you murmur, holding his arm to your chest like a child with a teddy bear. 

“i know,” is all he can manage in reply. 

i wish i could be enough is what he’s thinking. that his presence would let you sleep easy, even knowing chuuya was out there somewhere, holding a piece of your fragile heart. 

he brushes away the tear that slips down your cheek with a gentle fingertip. your skin is soft as ever, warm beneath his touch. 

dazai hums softly, gently tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “go to sleep, love. i’ll be right here when you wake up.”

fighting the immense exhaustion, just for a second, you manage to open one eye. 

“promise?”

you stretch your pinky out, eyes fluttering, and dazai takes it in his own. 

“i promise.”

with that solemn oath, your eyes flutter shut and only seconds go by before dazai hears your soft snoring and slow breathing. 

“sweet dreams,” he murmurs, stroking your hair and knowing you can’t hear him.

dream of me, he pleads in his mind, dream of me tonight and not of him. 

[ukiyowi]

𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 𝐈

Note: These are my observations if it doesn't resonate scroll xx

Masterlist || Tip 🍯

𐂲 I've recently noticed, whatever sign your mars is in and whichever body part that sign rules, can often result in getting accidentally hurt or random in that part. (Example, Mars in gemini = getting hurt on arms/hands, in Capricorn = scalp/knees/teeth, in Aries = head/sometimes cheekbones, etc)

𐂲 One thing I've noticed about Virgo risings is how much they underestimate themselves, they also usually have trouble with anxiety and overthinking

𐂲 Mystic rectangles give a lot of balance to a person but it can also come with multiple internal hardships and conflicts (in forms of insomnia or mental illnesses) and they often need external help to reach their full potential

𐂲 Pluto - Neptune hard aspects especially squares bring into consideration the back and forth between transformation versus illusion, what I mean by that is they have trouble distinguishing patterns in their cycles and may think they're imagining changes rather than believing that it's real (I hope this makes sense I've been trying to word it for the past 5 mins)

𐂲 I know we talk a lot about Leo Risings having great hair but imo Pisces rising have such luscious hair, like they have sm volume and shine to them?? They also look like a waterfall, just flowing, it's so pretty <//3

𐂲 Saturn in 4th/5th/11th house can overshare on the internet about everything going on with their lives

𐂲 Pluto in 6th house feel powerful only when they're working, so they never stop and even when they feel burnt out, they feel their sense of self and self worth is only tied to what they can give, therefore they may face guilt when they try to rest.

𐂲 This is simply a personal observation/theory but I have noticed that people who have a lot of degrees that are higher in number like 20+ often feel more comfortable with people older than them especially if those degrees sit in Pluto or Saturn

𐂲 I've noticed Aries mercuries also have very heavy footsteps, you can hear the thump 😭

𐂲 12th house Pluto are their own best friend and worst enemy, they may enable bad habits for others and justify the same for themselves, HOWEVER once the natives know how to harness the power of Pluto and understand it better, they can be really influential because a lot of people may be subconsciously attracted to the power they possess.

𐂲 Can we talk about Leo risings and how good their self concept is? Like... Please teach me tysm

𐂲 LIBRA PLACEMENTS IN GENERAL HAVE SUCH A HARD TIME WITH HEALTHY BOUNDARIES I'LL CRY- I have a friend with Libra venus and she can never say no to someone especially if she starts liking them :// and it's so hard to see ppl just take advantage of her, I also have friends and relatives with Libra in the big 3 and not only are they complete givers, they also have such a hard time taking, they feel guilty.

✓✓✓ Going to be mean to some of my placements/aspects now

𐂲 Venus conjunct Mars are so fucking clingy but ALSO so flighty🤨🤨choose ??? Do you want to be in this relationship (platonic/romantic) or do you not, stop being so hot and cold (it may help if I tell you both of these are in gemini for me)

𐂲 Chiron - moon placements have mommy issues or wounds related to their mothers/maternal figures in their lives

𐂲 Jupiter virgos can be such doormats at times, just because you want to help people doesn't mean you keep emptying your cup to fill others'.

𐂲 Mercury in 1st have their self worth TIED to their intelligence, like stop flaunting your knowledge, low-key looks insecure.

𐂲 Jupiter opposition Uranus has such rebel without a cause energy, what are you going to "rebel" against now, please sit down for a second

𐂲 Mars Square Ascendant, people with this aspect are always ready to fight, feel like everything is a personal attack, and are terrible at being alone

✓✓✓ Back to your regularly scheduled programme

𐂲 Something I've wanted to say to each stellium I've met so far:

𐂲 Aries: You have a lot of life in you, hand some over🤲🤲🤲, seriously though you guys look at everything with such wonder and curiosity, you're also kinda impatient but that's fine with me :")

𐂲 Sagittarius: You're so cool, I want to be like you, introspective, self aware, your humour is a little concerning at times but you teach me so much all the time, you're the guide I've always wished for

𐂲 Leo: You're a born entertainer and at times I can be a bit envious because of how bright you shine, leaving me in the shadows, but I love you and your love for life regardless, you're a star

𐂲 Gemini: You are so stealthy in everything you do, sometimes you slip through the cracks, a trickster (affectionate), I love how you can be mischievous one second and completely serious the next

𐂲 2nd house: You're just so understanding and make me feel like home, it's like you are home personified, very warm and comforting, also so abundant in everything it's crazy

𐂲 8th house: Stop making me talk about my feelings I'll cry >:(( no but seriously, you guys have something about you that just makes people face what they're avoiding, and you are so good at empathising with them.

[mays-simping-for-leona]

Consider me the hero (part 1)

(im open to write scenarios and do art ^^, ask me if you want!)

chatacters:

leona kingscholar, fem!reader⏤͟͟͞͞★

information:

leona flirting, sfw, short scenario (or maybe not short😭) ⏤͟͟͞͞★

prompt:

You are watching the most important episode of your favorite series and ignoring Leona's messages⏤͟͟͞͞★

⏤͟͟͞͞★enjoy!

While you are sitting in your room in Ramshakle on the bed, eating popcorn with a lot of sweets, chips and juices next to you, the lights are off and you are watching your favorite series in peace

how beautiful, One of your annoying friends spoiled the events for you and told you that the hero will confess to the heroine in this episode, For this reason, for the first time, you decided to ignore everyone and focus on this episode specifically

You had some homework and tests, but you just decided that you would not study today, and you spend the whole night watching the hero kiss the heroine, dance with her, and tell her sweet words about how much he loves her. You imagine yourself in this romantic situation and cry -not literally- because you are a miserable and lonely single young lady

Meanwhile, due to your intense focus on the episode, you had notifications from the beastman in the middle of the night. You were surprised because Leona usually does not stay awake this late.. Nothing will prevent him from sleeping except insomnia, but you did not care much and just ignored the notifications once. Two times, three times, 10 times, 20 times...

He was asking you if you were awake or not, but you just got so annoyed by his insistence that you decided to tell him to stop texting you, so you opened the conversation and sent, “For the sake of the seven, leave me alone, I am doing important work here! ttyl!" and turned off the notifications

You started watching the series again, but this time in peace and quiet. You focused all your attention on the episode without looking at what was happening around you, and when the hero finally approached the heroine, announcing that he's about to confess, you got extremely excited..You were sleeping in bed on your stomach kicking the sheets and the covers, the juice was pouring from your mouth and eyes widen with excitement

"oh boy..oh my..yes, say it, just say it!! tell her that you lo-?!!" Your excited screams were suddenly interrupted when you felt a very large weight on your back. All at once, someone jumped on top of you and reached from behind your head, extending his huge palm to grab you and lifted your chin to make you look at him, turning off the phone with his other hand with an annoyed expression hidden behind the smug that filled his face, you immediately knew who he was when you heard his voice

"damn, I thought you were discovering a secret of life or destroying Einstein's theories or something like that when you said that you were "doing important work." Is this the important work that you were doing, herbivore?"

oh no, you are now a prey..

"where the hell did you come from?!! i didn't even hear you when you stepped to my room!!"

"this is not our topic now, herbovire. i am a lion, of course a prey like you won't feel my presence" He said confidently as he turned on the desk lamp next to the bed and pulled you by the waist to flip you onto your back, with one eyebrow raised looking at you, the malicious smug on his face became just a slight mocking smile

"Tell me, what is this very special thing about the series that makes you ignore my messages?"

"It's an important episode!!"

"important?" He tilted his head to the left slightly as he took your phone and placed it in front of your face and shook it lightly "I would like to know what this great thing is that will be more important than my messages"

You felt like you were going to say something stupid and embarrassing. In fact, it would be a ridiculous excuse for Leona to ignore his messages because of a series episode "...The hero will confess his love to the heroine in this episode, and i want to see that so badly"

"i see.." He remained calm for a few seconds as he took a long breath and threw the phone aside, then pulled you by your collar forcefully to lift you from the bed "I see you giggling and kicking the bed because a hero in a series confesses to a heroine, and you don't focus on me because of him and ignore me.. I will give you a reason that makes me more important than any episode of a series you watched before"

"w-what?!!" Your cheeks turned red when you realized where the situation was headed, Leona pulled you into his lap on the bed and gave you a sarcastic but sexy laugh, it was enough to make your heart beat like a drum..

"Consider me the hero, herbovire. I will turn this episode of the series into reality and make you my heroine~" Leona came close to your ear and whispered to you in the most deep, sexy voice he could muster, doing so deliberately as he wrapped his arm around your back and caressed your cheek with his other hand"

"i love you, herbovire..focus on me.."

this is all i got today, maybe i will write part 2 tomorrow if i saw people liking this (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)⏤͟͟͞͞★

thanks for reading!