#IMAGINE BEING LIKE 12 WORKS OF LAMENTATION

[italoniponic]

yk who would be perfect for Isle of Lamentation? Jack. I mean, twst?? think about it! he's shaped like Hercules, just slightly less himbo but still with a golden heart. and that would make Idia crawl in his skin bc Jack clashes with the overall techno-nerd aesthetic "bc he's a jock" and all

accept my suggestion just this once, twst

[goodluckclove]

On Not Writing

Hi! I'm back. i had a fun two days of doing absolutely nothing writing related, including scrolling this blog. Wife and I played a lot of Valheim. Took a lot of bike rides. Watched Interstellar for the first time - pretty good, kind of silly at the end. It was my first two-day weekend in probably three months, so it was much-needed, hard as it was.

And it got me thinking of some things I wanted to say to the community here. It's especially targeted towards younger writers, of which I used to be one, but I think it can apply to anyone who finds themselves despairing over how much they aren't writing.

Let's imagine you're sitting with me in this coffee shop. It's an overcast Portland morning and I just inadvertently vivisected a croissant. And as we sip our drinks (I ordered a lavender latte), you lament to me. I don't know what to do, Clove. I just haven't been writing!

You know what I say to that?

Good.

This is a new hot take of mine that I, once again, worry about upsetting people with. Because I see a lot of guides here about how to write, or how to write consistently, or how to write through writers block. But I haven't seen a single person talking about the inverse - how to not write. Or - perhaps more accurately - how to exist as a human being separate from your identity as a writer.

This is a problem for me.

Listen - I started young. I was 12 when I wrote my first novella, and 13 when I completed my first novel the next year. Adults in my life were impressed by the big-eyed child writing so many words. They encouraged me. I wrote two more novels, and they continued to encourage me. Because of the potential, right? I could be successful. I could be famous.

People stopped pushing me to try other things. I saw I was getting validation as a writer, so that only pushed me to continue fixating over something I was already enjoying and getting pretty good at. Dad had me writing two thousand words every day, because that's what Stephen King did. At 16 I finished four full-length novels, which everyone thought was really cool and interesting. I was also sporting dual hand braces every day throughout the winter to cope with the carpal tunnel I still struggle with to this day.

There is encouraging a person in their passion. There is also poisoning them with the belief that their self-worth comes from pursuing that passion. This is entirely, absolutely, even more true for younger writers and artists.

I am enraged for the young writer in my heart and in my head. Because they worried about a lot of the same things I see people worry about on here. Oh, if I don't write I'm not a writer! And to an extent they're right, as to be a writer you need to at some point write some stuff.

But here's the fucking thing, Young Clover - a child should not strive for the work ethic of a professional adult. You did not need to write 2k words a day to be a writer. You were a writer as soon as you updated that terrible Invader Zim fanfiction you wrote when you were 10.

And more than that, though, the most important thing to a person should not be their job and aspirations. If you don't write every day, you're still a writer. If you've never written anything, you aren't - and that's fine. You might write something later down the line, or you might not. Either way you are still entitled to exist on the planet and capable of living a full and passionate and wonderful life.

Hear my words: being a writer is not more important than being a human being.

If you aren't writing right now, maybe you're not supposed to be. Maybe you're meant to be nurturing your relationships, or nurturing yourself. Maybe you're supposed to be volunteering. Or meeting new people. Or gaining a new field of knowledge. Or getting really good at making focaccia bread. Or watching every Mark Wahlberg movie.

I don't like to hear this any more than you do. If I was told that I, for some reason, was not allowed to write for the rest of my life, I would be miserable for maybe a long time. After that passed it's my hope that I would move on and do other things, because my worth is not dependent on being a writer. I like doing it. I like being it, and I hope to be one for the rest of my life. But I never want it to be the first thing people see when they look at me. I don't even like bringing it up in conversation with people I don't already know.

So yeah, if you have "writer's block", maybe consider putting down the pickaxe and getting some rest. Step away entirely from the large boulder that stands between you being the next Stephen King or Brandon Sanderson or Teen Dystopia Writer no. 2321. Take a break, and I mean an ACTUAL break, not the kind where you spend the whole time sulking about work.

I am legitimately begging the writers on here to have developed lives and interests outside of writing. I am begging because I do not have that and it has consistently been one of the hardest things of my life.

You prioritize living outside your writing and it will improve the quality of your writing when you get back to it, as it'll allow you a frame of reference that extends beyond our niche industry. Or it might make you realize that, while you enjoy writing, what you really love is ceramics. Or game developing. Or mutual-aid activism. Or the movies of Mark Wahlberg.

It is not your job to treat yourself like you already have a dozen deadlines and an audience teetering on the edge of disappointment. That's ultimately not going to help you. Your job on this earth is to exist fully, for the sake of the universe that wants so desperately to live vicariously through you.

So breathe. Breathe and calm down. You aren't a failure and there's nothing you have to prove. All you have to do today is drink some water and have a nice snack while you look at a cloud.

Please be kind. All of us need to be kinder to each other and to ourselves.

That's all I want to say. I love you dearly. Please let me know if you need anything.

[mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess]

No simping in the Cloud Recesses!!

I received permission to write a ficlet based off this amazing post by the lovely @lovewanxian and this is the result. They're working on their own fic on the same premise, so make sure to give them some love when they post it <3

I had a lot of fun writing this and drank a lot of water to quench the thirst. It didn't work, but I highly recommend hydration - and have fun!

Lan Sizhui is suffering.

Now before you get up in arms about who to kill, it's not that kind of suffering. Nobody's trying to kill him and Lan Jingyi's pranks have yet to land him in the infirmary - the suffering that's plaguing Lan Sizhui is spiritual.

No, it's not a qi deviation, although he is quite sure he's heading that way far too quickly for his age and skill level. And he didn't get cursed either - hm, well, that's debatable in the circumstances - but the point is, his suffering isn't caused by anything that's related to cultivation or any outside interference.

Lan Sizhui is suffering because all his friends are simping.

But that's normal teenage boy behavior, you might argue. Teenagehood is, virtually, the best age to simp, it's basically in the job description for the ages between 13 and 19.

Fair, but Lan Sizhui's friends are simping over Senior Wei, who is twice their age, married and one of Sizhui's beloved father figures. See the issue yet?

Imagine all your friends do all day is lament over how much they want your dad to "punish" them, how hot his ghostly cultivation is and how much they wish he'd turn them into fierce corpses - Sizhui suffering makes sense now, doesn't it?

And he's been through this before. His friends' first crush has largely been Hanguang-Jun. Understandable - Sizhui has eyes, and he can admit he's attractive, objectively speaking.

To Sizhui, he's been the closest thing to a parent for many years, so thinking of him as anything less is weird - but facts are facts. Hanguang-Jun is powerful, domineering, but kind and supportive. These are all attractive features.

Sizhui has long grown used to Jingyi fangirling over him, and to the self-insert fic black market he ran out of their room from ages 12 to 15. He's done handstands for days to atone for it, and has made peace with it.

Of course, all juniors have kept some degree of Hanguang-Jun worship and, as the female disciples put it, "fanny flutters", but the crushing has evolved into admiration rather than infatuation and Sizhui only has to deal with number one Hanguang-Jun stan fluttering over his dad.

And then Senior Wei came about and Sizhui's peace of mind has gone to hell.

Disclaimer for all of you clutching your pearls right now: Sizhui loves Senior Wei very much and is infinitely grateful to have him back, has even slipped and called him "baba" a few times. The problem doesn't lay with Senior Wei at all.

The problem lays with the entirety of the Lan junior population (please let it be just the juniors, if the seniors simp over Senior Wei too, Sizhui's going to defect) being shameless about a man that's treated them as nothing less than his unofficially adopted children.

And how do they show their gratitude? By lusting over him and moaning about how lucky Hanguang-Jun is to bed him every night.

Lan Sizhui is suffering.

---

Lan Wangji is suffering.

No, he isn't dying, cursed, qi deviating or having to sit through sect leader Yao's rants - he's being Wei Ying's teacher assistant for his introductory talisman course.

It may sound confusing - how could that be a cause for suffering? Lan Wangji loves his husband and being around him, finds his inventions fascinating and likes helping him. So what's the issue?

The issue is that literally nobody in that whole entire classroom is paying any attention to the lesson. Sword to their neck, he is positive neither of them would be able to recall not even the past five minutes of talisman theory.

But ask them anything about Wei Ying and they'd rant for hours. And Lan Wangji doubts it would be a respectful rant.

Because the Lan juniors may not be paying attention to talismans, but by God are they paying attention to their teacher. Lan Wangji can virtually see the hearts in their eyes and the bloodflow directing down south - and he hates it. Wei Ying is being such a thorough teacher, he's putting his heart and soul into it, but his class seems fascinated only with the robes he wears, the way he moves, and they nearly break their necks to look at him when he turns his back to write something on the blackboard.

(Okay, Lan Wangji does too, sue him, that's his husband, he's allowed.)

Point is, these kids are entirely undisciplined. Lusting after seniors is not explicitly forbidden in the rules, but Lan Wangji is going to suggest his uncle adds it to the list. This way, he can hand harsh punishments fairly. Nobody is allowed to have horny thoughts about his husband except for him.

And it's not like the kids are being subtle about it either.

Here's an exmple.

Wei Ying's just finished demonstrating the penmanship for a banishing talisman, and encouraged the students to try it themselves, as he would walk among them and offer help where needed.

Everyone - everyone except Sizhui and Jingyi - needed help. Even those that Lan Wangji knew to be specialized in talisman work.

Everyone needed Senior Wei to take their hand in his, lean closely and direct their brush strokes. Everyone needed to be spoken to softly and encouraged to try again.

Lan Wangji has broken two brushes already and he's probably going to move to breaking fingers next.

One of the students, Lan Yichen, Hanguang-Jun's third favorite after his two ducklings (yes, they're his favorites, no, nobody knows and this doesn't cloud his judgement, yes, they're his ducklings), raised his hand and called for "teacher Wei" (Lan Wangji glares his way, but of course the little horny bastard has no time to look anywhere but at Wei Ying).

"What's wrong?" Wei Ying very obliviously asks and Lan Wangji feels the wood of his third brush crack in his grip.

"I really don't know why this talisman won't burn correctly..." Lan Yichen whines, looking up at his senior through his lashes, pathetic and submissive.

Lan Wangji will have him copy the rules about propriety fourty times.

Wei Ying looks over his shoulder at his talisman, and doesn't see the way the boy leans into his scent just a little bit, his cheeks dusting red at the close contact.

Lan Wangji fights the urge to grip Bichen. He can't kill a kid. Come on.

Wei Ying takes the brush from his hand and glides it once over the talisman paper. He smiles encouragingly at Yichen, who's managed to make himself look borderline tearful. "Let's try it together now."

"T-Together?"

Lan Wangji is a strong man. Self-disciplined, in control. He doesn't know how much longer he'll be able to stop himself from - what was the word Jingyi used... ah yes - yeeting that young man all the way to his home sect.

"I'll send in some of my spiritual energy, and you send in the rest. Let's see if anything cool happens, yeah?"

The boy looks like he's won the lottery. Lan Wangji can see it behind the sopping wet cat look. The brush in his hand is halfway broken now.

The talisman lights up blue and dissipates.

"Wow!" Lan Yichen shouts, as if he hasn't been using talismans for the past 5-7 years of his cultivation career. "You're so good at this, teacher Wei!"

Wei Ying laughs and pats the boy's head before returning to his teaching desk. Behind him, the boy looks like he's just ascended. Or had an orgasm.

Either way, Lan Wangji breaks his brush in little smithereens and tries talking himself out of murder.

"These kids are so distracted today." Wei Ying sighs. "I knew I shouldn't have taken you with me, all they do is look at you."

It takes all Lan Wangji has not to side eye his husband.

---

Lan Sizhui walks into his room after having tea with his dads - they always have tea together before night hunts, a little ritual to lift their spirits and... well, for a last memory if something bad happens. It's a risk of the job, after all, though it's highly unlikely, considering how powerful both Hanguang-Jun and Senior Wei are.

So, Sizhui happily returns to his room to get ready and finds several of his friends all over the place, looking much like the backstage to a courtesan show. Some are struggling on deciding which robes to put on, others fight for natural light to powder their faces and the rest struggle with hairstyles.

"Hello, people who do not live here. Where's Jingyi?"

"Getting scolded for calling sect leader Nie cunty to his face at the last discussion conference." One of the boys, Lan Haoran, answers, blending the powder into his skin to hide acne scars. "He's not allowed to come to the night hunt with us."

"That's a compliment." Sizhui replies, and barely manages to reach his wardrobe for clothes in the mess.

"Tell that to teacher Lan Qiren."

"Anyway, what are you guys doing here?"

"Getting ready for the night hunt, duh!" Another, Lan Lixin, says, fixing a golden hairpiece in his bun.

"And since when does night hunting entail a makeover?"

"You want us to look like shit with Senior Wei around?!" Lan Tao exclaims, emerging from the bathroom in a delicately ornate set of light blue robes. "We have to look presentable."

Sizhui rolls his eyes. "You know he only has eyes for Hanguang-Jun."

"It's worth a try." Lan Lixin says, taking a final look in the mirror. "And anyway, last time he said he liked my hairpin, so what more could a man want from life?"

Sizhui takes in a deep breath to calm down. "And why are you lot here instead of your own rooms?"

"Your room has the best lighting." Lan Haoran responds. "God, I really need to invest in some skincare."

"Anyways, do you guys think we'll get to see Senior Wei control the Ghost General this time?" Lan Tao asks.

There are three dreamy sighs in response.

"I wish he'd control me like that. He wouldn't even need Chenqing, I'd just do anything he wanted stat."

"Same. I love when he gets all serious, I'd love him to get like that with me~"

"You guys realize I'm right here, right?"

---

Wei Ying saves his third Lan junior of the night and he's starting to grow tired. Of course, he doesn't expect them to be able to take on a night hunt independently and succeed at it, he's quite sure they've never been so uncoordinated before.

The strings of the guqin vibrate loudly and the fierce corpses kneel, growling in pain. Wei Ying rushes to pluck yet another child from their grasps and sends a burst of resentful energy their way. "It's alright, I got you."

The boy in his arms whines and hides further in Wei Ying's chest. He didn't get hurt that badly, but Wei Ying figures it must have been terrifying for him to be nearly torn into, so his reaction is understandable.

He gently lays the boy against a tree, wipes some dirt off his face and sends him a reassuring smile. "It's all right now, you're safe."

"Thank you, senior Wei..."

Lan Wangji rolls his eyes as his fingers move over the guqin. Who knew the Lan have so many aspiring actors in their ranks?

Wei Ying lifts Chenqing to his lips and a shrill tune fills the silence. The fierce corpses writhe at the sound, and, holding the flute with one hand, Wei Ying sends three talismans to immobilize them.

A nod is all it takes for Hanguang-Jun to send Bichen their way.

"Wow..." the "injured" juniors exclaim, eyes fixated on senior Wei, his eyes glowing red and expression determined.

Sizhui, who's unfortunately been delegated to tend to their wounds, fastens a bandage a bit too hard on one of his friends, pulling his attention away.

"You lot are being ridiculous. You could've gotten killed."

Lan Tao clutches his arm, eyes full of horny ideas as he stares at the way Senior Wei sends resentful tendrils towards the fierce corpses. "I wonder what else he can do with those."

"You know what, I'm going to kill you myself actually."

"What's your issue, Sizhui? It's not like it's our fault senior Wei is a DILF." Lan Lixin huffs.

"I do not want to know what that means."

"It means dad I'd like to fu-"

Lan Lixin finds his lips glued together. Hanguang-Jun sends him an icy look. "Stop talking. Conserve your energy."

"Serves you right." Sizhui mumbles. "I was wondering when Hanguang-Jun will do something about you horn dogs."

Lan Lixin glares meaningfully at him, but Sizhui pretends not to see it.

"You guys need to stop thirsting after my family. Hanguang-Jun, now Senior Wei, who's next, the Ghost General?"

The boys appear to actually be considering the possibility and Sizhui barely stops himself from liberally smacking the backs of their heads.

At least Hanguang-Jun and Senior Wei have slain all the fierce corpses, and the night hunt is over.

If he has to see his friends act so pathetic for attention again, Sizhui is going to just jump in horde of fierce corpses sword-less.

---

"Ahh, Lan Zhan, you were even more beastly than usual today!" Wei Ying whines as he takes his rightful place on his husband's chest. "I'm not complaining, of course, but what brought this on?"

Lan Wangji decides not to answer, placing a possessive arm around Wei Ying's waist underneath the covers. "Mine."

"Yours, always." Wei Ying leaves a soft kiss on Lan Zhan's neck. "Hey, did you set up the silencing talismans before we started? I don't remember anymore."

"...yes."

Wei Ying hums and burrows further into Lan Zhan's chest, pliant and sleepy. "Good, good, we would've probably kept the whole inn awake if you hadn't."

---

The juniors' dark eyebags the next morning and their refusal to look either of their seniors in the eyes is peculiar.

But who can understand the youth these days, really?

[monkey-network]

The Beauty of 12 Angry Men

I remembered in 6th grade lit reading Franz Kafka's The Trial, a story about everything judicial being set in stone for someone completely out of the loop. The bureaucracy behind Josef K.'s fate is never given a cause, no method helps him, and after a year he's at the mercy of a situation nobody said would be fair to him. It was a striking story to me, and lead me into recognizing Sidney Lumet and Reginald Rose's 12 Angry Men as a similar yet antithetical story. The film keeps everything in the dark except for the titular jurors trying to piece the case together for a boy expected to get the death penalty. The matter though, is that the defendant's fate was clear from the start and the journey is about getting to that thread's end. What follows is one of the most well written, performed, and staged movies I watched in my entire life and I just wanted to finally talk about it. So, let's talk.

Setting the Stage

It takes three minutes almost exactly for the title to appear. You get the mission statement from the judge, a good scan of the main characters, and a single moment of the defendant's face, basically the only time you ever get to see said defendant for the whole movie. After that, we the audience are locked in the deliberation room where the film starts to shine after the credits role.

For the longest time watching movies, I was so used to big colorful settings, the characters going places even if it's just another place to talk, where it's a gamble if you can memorize those places. Oppenheimer last year became the widely regarded movie that consisted of next to nothing but conferencing in rooms. Even in older movies, things were never shot in the same spot for long. This film was the first instance where they stripped everything and worked with bare bones staging. All it is are the men in that one room. No flashbacks, no cuts to anything beyond the group speaking. The only other places you get are the adjacent men's restroom and the courthouse steps at the film's very end, scenes of which add to less than 4 minutes. And you would think it gets boring, but 'focus' is the keyword behind everything. The fact there's next to no music adds to it having an actually engaging script that doesn't manipulate or go to unnecessary places to get the point across.

12 Angry Men is what I'd call a "dynamic stage play" where you could imagine yourself seeing this in a live theater, but it wouldn't have worked as well without the secret main character that is the camera. This film knows how to prevent things from getting too static; the cinematography is... well-paced in laments terms. Again, in that one room, you're engaged in where it's focused, how it moves with the characters, when it cuts especially when it closes in on the jurors at their most serious. From a technical perspective, it's immersive at its simplest. No juror feels left out even when out of frame and nothing distracts you from the brilliant acting everyone brings to the literal table. After seeing this, I felt like this was the kind of movie I'd want to make. One that can work with so little but feel as tightly coordinated as any other similar to this. Then again, I wouldn't have concerned about this movie on technicalities alone. Let's get to the story.

The Stakes of Uncertainty

The trial is a first degree murder charge where if unanimously found guilty, the defendant would be sentenced to the electric chair. Everything surrounding this film hinges on the one person who votes not guilty, juror 8. Number Eight makes it clear that his vote is not about bias, there's never a hint at him or anyone having a relation to the defendant outside the case. His vote is the biggest gamble dependent of everyone retracing their steps of the details surrounding the trial, and what I love most about this is the fairness.

Eight doesn't know if the boy's not guilty, he never forces anybody to side with him, but recognizes that the defendant's life is a serious matter and shouldn't be as open shut as everyone else makes it in the beginning. The film shows within reason that the trial wasn't as clean cut as it seemed. And I know the movie isn't judicially accurate and everything's circumstantial, assumptive, and so on. If there's any real issue the film has for me is that they never indict Eight for sneaking in the switchblade even though that scene is still a goddamn show stealer.

Henry Fonda excellently portrayed a man who knew how to play the cards right

Then again, the increased flimsiness of the trial made with the uncertainty of the outcome is the point. We never get the sentencing after the men leave that room, it's all about Eight showing the others that the boy's life deserved more deliberation than the others were willing to give him. Hell, it discusses that trials like this can and have existed where measures of the outcome are made beyond the defendant's control. Breaking through the easy decision every other juror had was more valuable, and Juror 8 did that responsibly while never trying to be above anyone. That in turn is what makes this ensemble cast nearly flawless.

The Angry Men

Before ever seeing it, I've seen a couple jokes of this movie's premise of how it was nothing but said 12 men who sure were angry. Having now seen it myself, it's amazing how much we get to know about the jurors yet only two are ever given names. You'd think the film would give them simple archetypes and gimmicks, but even if you disregarded the acting chops everyone brings, the writing was able to balance who they each are relative to the case and each other. You can memorize which juror is which yet that never makes them just a number on the table.

To me, the best part about this film is how the group is able to collectively debate about the trial with individual motives and understandings. Jurors Eight and Three are the focal characters, they're the most opposing, but I don't consider them the main characters. A Youtube video I watched explores this better than I ever could, but everyone is in this together, regardless of how present they are in the movie and you notice this in their behavior. The character writing made with the simple staging does so much while explaining so little.

Juror Four, who reveals himself to be a stock broker, is the most clinical about the details. He does his best in retracing the trial as factual as possible, discussing the evidence in a way not even Eight is able to fight. What makes him crack though is when it came to jurors Eight, Five, and Nine bringing up certain conditions of the defendant and witnesses that he didn't care to notice. Juror Nine is the opposite, concerning about the witnesses' conditions and probable influences which helped reveal factual doubts in their testimonies.

Juror Seven from the getgo is made the most detached of the group. By the way he's dressed, constantly checking the time, while capable of paying attention Seven is the most dismissive of the case for the simple reason of just wanting to leave for baseball. This is where he comes into conflict with jurors Two and Eleven especially. Eleven is expressively respectful toward the judicial due process, mentioning himself being an immigrant, which makes him eventually fed up with Seven's disinterest. He's not somebody who changed his vote easily nor adds a lot to the debate himself, but recognizes Eight's efforts of a fair discussion and naturally confronts Seven about his constant snide attitude towards the case.

One of the film's strongest moments, where the build up was genuine even if you felt it was unexpected

Everyone makes sense with is established about them in the beginning and I could go on about the little things. Juror Nine, being the first to switch his vote, is the only one who meets with Eight outside in the film's end. You can tell by Juror Twelve fiddling with his glasses and concerned of having the info laid out sequentially is the most flippant about his vote. Juror Five being more likely to change his vote out of sympathy, having grown up and is more knowledgeable of the slums given that's the defendant's home. Nothing about this movie or ensemble is complicated, but the through-line behind everyone's choices in this gets to be more complex than realized. Everything about this is encapsulated in my favorite scene of the whole movie.

Pulling It All Back

Juror Ten is the most openly bigoted of the ensemble. From the start he is racially motivated in his vote, but that's not expressed until a little later. Of that point, he's certain of himself like juror Three about the vote being clear while scoffing at Eight's opposition. When the cracks of the case start to show, Ten's arrogance starts to show and his words become charged. He becomes the most hostile toward everyone and especially gets a rise out of Juror Five when talking about "these people". Everything comes to ahead when the vote is 9 to 3 for not guilty. Ten finally has his outburst, his racial rant unspecified but striking all the checkmarks of a man that stuck in his ways. Then it happens.

Everyone put up with his remarks up to that point, but here they finally step away and we get the most striking moment of a man finally alone with his thoughts. After Juror Four tells him off, Ten goes to the corner desk and basically shuts down for the remainder of the movie. This was the film's strongest payoff in every sense. It wouldn't have worked without the buildup just as much as the civility that came with everyone involved. Nobody had to throw a punch or challenge his beliefs, you never know if this changed Ten as a person, all that matters was that Ten knew he exasperated any goodwill from the jury and finally checked out the conversation. 12 Angry Men knew how to make the characters see their errors naturally, never feeling like they played up the drama for everyone to get their moment.

Conclusion

To me, I'm reminded of when in 6th grade, my literature teacher would have these Socratic seminars discussing the books we'd read. You could say it was the most involved I was in that class. This film knew how to capture that feeling, how towrite a roundtable where the stakes are high from the start but doesn't make it sanctimonious. Again, Juror Eight doesn't force or manipulate the others to see things his way. They try to convince him initially, adding up to a tangled but mutual engagement and it always feels like you're with them in the moment. You feel Eight's uncertainty is as sincere as his conviction, the same going for everyone else involved. The fact they're all sitting in sequential, helping you naturally follow who is who, is the cherry on top.

Before watching this, I didn't presume much beyond a simple courtroom drama which I enjoy ever since Ace Attorney. What followed after was just being more than impressed by how concise and thoughtful this was made. No second felt wasted, no detail felt trivial, ALL THIS and not even mentioning it being like a "bottle episode". Believe me, this post is long enough fanboying about a film from the 50s. It earned being the most ergonomic and engaging movies I've ever seen. If this essay wasn't enough, I recommend it at least once in your life as it's free to watch. What else is there to say?

It's the Best

[timeagainreviews]

The Twist of a Stiletto

Back in the ‘90s there was a very famous TV show. 120 Minutes, don’t act like you don’t know. But for those of you not in the know, “120 Minutes,” was a show on MTV hosted by Matt Pinfield. There were other hosts, but Matt was my guy. Being a showcase of music videos from artists MTV wouldn’t dare play during the day, it was relegated to a late Sunday evening timeslot. Growing up, I never really had a personal relationship with music. It was the stuff in the background of movies. My dad would play CDs of his faves. Kansas, Jethro Tull, Chicago, Led Zepplin, The Beatles. Music could be fun or cool, but I could take it or leave it. That is until April 14, 1996, when 120 Minutes aired Rage Against the Machine’s “Bulls on Parade,” and my 12-year-old brain erupted. A fire was lit inside me that day and Zach de la Rocha was more than happy to pour gasoline on it. I was suddenly, without any kind of warning, in love with music.

The spontaneous combustion of music hits us all differently, but I’m sure my story made you remember yours. How could it not? Music is a part of our lives. We wrap our memories in song. As such, some songs become painful. We then lock those songs in our past where they can’t hurt us, but a passing car with its windows down can bring us back. Music is personal. “The Devil’s Chord,” is a story about our relationship with music. How we hold music inside and when we let it out. It is a celebration of song as well as a lament. While the episode often achieves harmony, it also falls a bit flat. Are you picking up on a theme? Is this striking a chord with you? Ok I’ll stop. Probably.

I’ll get the obvious out of the way first. “The Devil’s Chord,” is precariously close to “The Giggle,” plot-wise. The TARDIS lands. The Doctor finds the world behaving oddly. He discovers it’s all to do with a magical gay American who chews scenery for breakfast. The American sends the Doctor through a themed gauntlet of insanity. The Doctor banishes the American using their own tricks against them. The American disappears with a warning about the next guy. Bish bash bosh. I’m getting that all out of the way ahead of time, because that would be a really boring article to read. But I will say this- if this is the Pantheon’s only gambit, I’ll be disappointed.

Ruby’s explanation of how she discovered the Beatles through her mum’s girlfriend’s vinyl collection was charming and didn’t make me feel old at all. Not to be all “kids these days only care about Tik Tok and Roblox,” but I was fairly certain most young people hate the Beatles. That is, if my Facebook feed is anything to go by. It really shows you just how on the pulse Russell T Davies is these days. Hello fellow kids. Have some trans inclusion while I court problematic people on social media. Kids like Deftones, Russell. Do a Deftones episode. Have the Doctor fight robot pigs with Chico Moreno. (Man, nü metal is having a moment in this article.) My point being, it’s weird to choose The Beatles now.

I harp on a lot about how metatextual Doctor Who can be and how it’s the secret of its longevity. They need to replace their actor? Regeneration. They need to get the Doctor into a building? Psychic paper. But I think I’ve found the exception that proves the rule. Russell T Davies said in an interview “...The Beatles music is so expensive. Even on a Disney budget, we couldn’t afford that…And so I thought imagine you’re visiting The Beatles, and you couldn’t have The Beatles music. What would you do? And that’s the story. It kind of created itself”. In true Doctor Who fashion, Russell T Davies saw a limitation and folded it into the narrative. It’s a shame then, that it doesn’t work at all.

It started with their shots of Abbey Road and EMI Studios. The zebra crossing at Abbey Road isn’t that wide. I’ve been there. And since when did EMI Studios have a red brick entrance? Where are its classic Georgian-style box frame windows? It’s one of the most visited tourist spots in London, and you’re not going to actually go there? You can’t get the music. Ok. That’s sort of understandable. But they couldn’t film on location? What exactly is the Disney budget doing here? Remember when they flew the whole TARDIS crew to Utah? And then the next season to New York City? They managed to shoo tourists and locals away from Umpire Rock. You mean to tell me they couldn’t hold back traffic on Abbey Road for a few hours? Hell, just composite it. Shoot it on a soundstage. You don’t have to go “Angels Take Manhattan,” when you could go “Daleks Take Manhattan.”

This may seem like a weird gripe from a person who said it would be boring to complain about how two episodes are similar, but it is the crux of the matter. Why use The Beatles in an episode about The Beatles if you do nothing with them? Why highlight edifice in a story about being vulnerable? Yes, the episode is predicated on the very idea of not having the rights to The Beatles music catalog, but this also denies the audience a payoff. Let me explain. Ruby and the Doctor get dressed to the nines to go back to 1963 and watch the Beatles record their first album. Great so far. They have a cute little moment with the tea lady while they sneak into EMI studios. Still great. However, as they roll record for the Fab Four, it’s immediately apparent that something is very wrong. The Beatles' music sounds awful. Like how I imagine my friends on Facebook think they sound all the time. And still, things are going great. What this does, however, is set up expectations for the moment when The Beatles' music is finally back in its full glory. I’ve seen the shot from the trailer of Ncuti in the recording studio full of smiling perfects. It’s gonna be high energy. What a payoff. Right?

The Doctor and Ruby also pop in to listen to Cilla Black lay down a track. It’s the same crappy atonal music that only a trans woman with a collection of circuit-bent instruments could love. Something is amiss. The Doctor and Ruby do a bit of digging. It’s time to go talk to The Shitty Beatles. This time, it’s more than a clever name. With as much respect as I can muster, these have got to be some of the worst Beatle lookalikes I’ve ever seen. Except Paul who was spot on as the real Paul McCartney before he died and 1966 and was replaced with Faul. See my 9-11 Truther Anti-Vaxx Birds Aren’t Real grouphat for more information. The Doctor takes Paul and Ruby takes John. George and Ringo get zero lines, which tracks with history. They learn that both Paul and John don’t actually know why they play music. It feels silly, really. They should just pack it up. But something deep in them is still drawn to music, even if what comes out is a song about a dog that was only slightly better than “Rocky Raccoon.” But before they can slap them out of it like John with his first wife, they’re interrupted by visions of the Maestro.

Enter Jinkx Monsoon, who actually opens the episode but I’m using time travel to talk about things as they become relevant. Now, before they were cast in Doctor Who, I knew nothing about Jinkx Monsoon. I know she was on Drag Race, but I don’t watch that shit. No shade if you do. Ru Paul is totally not problematic and has never done anything weird. Everything I skimmed in Jinkx Monsoon’s Wikipedia page indicates they’re pretty cool. They relish in the role in a way that will make midwest dads shift in their chairs, and I’m here for it. They’ve got an oral fixation that’s impossible not to notice. When they eat the music from Timothy Drake’s soul, they let out a moan that sounds a lot like a climax, and not in the musical sense. Also, how sad is it for Tim Drake that he’ll never meet Batman? RIP Robin. 1925 was too early. Speaking of 1925, isn’t it interesting that the Maestro appears right around the same time as the Toymaker sold the Stooky Bill puppet to Charles Banerjee? Is there some significance with that year? Handily, no World Wars were happening at the time. The Scopes Monkey Trial occurred. Babe Ruth received surgery for an ulcer. They broke ground on defacing Mount Rushmore. But really, kind of tame considering the bookends of the era. The Lorcano treaty was doing a lot of the heavy lifting though.

The Maestro’s whole deal is a sort of crazed sense of ownership over music. To hear them describe it, music belongs to them. They are music. In this way, I was pleasantly surprised that they didn’t song and dance people to death. It’s nice to be surprised. I rather liked their motivation. Monsoon doesn’t need to do a whole lot of acting. It’s all very panto. Very drag. It’s the kind of performance you hope you get. I’m not saying it’s a bad performance, just an elevated one. Both Jinkx and Ncuti get a chance to overact a bit in this story. Once again, I don’t mean overact in a bad way. David Tennant is the biggest overactor in Doctor Who save for Soldeed in “The Horns of Nimon,” and he’s consistently voted favourite among Doctor Who fans. Add “tendency to overact,” to the pile of personality traits I’m beginning to love about the Fifteenth Doctor. I love it when the Doctor really sells the energy of a scene, even if it requires him to speak forlornly into the middle distance.

Attempting to get the world’s groove back, the Doctor has a piano hoisted to the roof of a building. This is, of course, a reference to The Beatles’ final public performance from the rooftop of Apple headquarters in Central London. Only instead of Billy Preston on the keys, it’s Ruby Sunday. As she plays a Ruby original, the inhabitants of neighbouring buildings begin to shake out of their fog as music descends on them like sunshine. It even inspires a granny played by Doctor Who legend Laura June Hudson to dust off her piano to play Debussy’s “Clair de Lune.” It’s a lovely moment which is about to get stomped on by the Maestro’s honking drag boots, but for a brief moment, music swells.

I was glad to see them taking time to slow things down a little in this episode. The Doctor even talks a bit about himself and Susan over on Totter’s Lane. Couple that with Carole Ann Ford’s presence at the Doctor Who premiere last year, and it feels like it might be more than a reference. I’ve seen Whovians of weak faith construe this to mean Susan is dead, but in my experience, when a writer says something isn’t, it is. That’s just my two cents. Who knows if any of it means anything. It could just be that it would be weird for the Doctor to visit London in 1963 and not mention him living there with his granddaughter. Or it could be that Doctor Who is finally getting a better Doctor/Susan reunion than “The FIve Doctors.” Who could forget the moment when they’re reunited? 

First Doctor: "Oh, er, this is Susan."

Fifth Doctor: "Yes I know."

How could you not get choked up? What a reunion. I can’t imagine why people would want something more. The Doctor told her all those years ago “Someday I’ll come back,” and he did. It was brief and without any of that pesky emotional connection we usually get from television.

Ruby pulls the classic “But the world didn’t end in 1963, I exist,” so the Doctor shows Ruby what the world would look like without music and it’s grim. It was nice of them to show us a bombed-out London as many of us are still feeling the sting from Fallout: London’s delayed release. Thanks, Doccy Who. But the two are not alone as they’re interrupted by the Maestro and their Looney Tunes brand of scary sexy. As with their first interaction, the Doctor runs. I love that aspect because it’s very Davies Doctor Who. The Doctor runs from the Time Vortex. The Doctor runs from Gallifrey. The Ninth Doctor refers to himself as cowardly, but what it really is is he hasn’t anything to prove. He’ll live today to fight again tomorrow, and yesterday. Timey wimey.

While the Maestro finds the Doctor both hot and timey wimey, they are still very much a threat to him and the Doctor knows this. You can’t fight the Pantheon. You have to abide by their rules. How do you fight someone who can control the TARDIS with music? The Doctor rips the TARDIS console a new one in order to flee back to 1963, where the world has yet to end. I found it cute the way he kisses the console to say sorry for the way he treated her. It not only suits the Doctor, but this Doctor with his brand of compassion. The TARDIS gets it, but you’ve gotta kiss a boo-boo or it won’t get better, everyone knows that.

The Doctor’s only plan with his limited resources is to somehow find the opposite of the Devil’s Chord, a sort of lost chord, if you will. Of course, this draws the Maestro to the Doctor like my cats to the sound of the tin opener. The Maestro captures Ruby, wrapping her up in sheet music. The Doctor stares down the Maestro as they allow him the opportunity to prove his musical genius. Can the Doctor find the lost chord? With each new note appearing above the piano, the Maestro writhes in twisted agony. But the Doctor hits a bum note and the Maestro is back on their feet ready to suffocate the Doctor in a drum and choke the life out of Ruby. But the song within Ruby’s soul from the Christmas Eve where she was left on that church stoop is stronger than anything the Maestro can muster. The Maestro may own music, but Ruby owns this song in that moment. Like before in “Space Babies,” the snow begins to fall indoors and the Maestro recoils in horror.

This gives the Beatles enough time to discover the piano and play that final note. Alone, they may not be geniuses, but the combination of McCartney and Lennon is enough to find the lost chord and banish the Maestro. They could have also achieved this with Harrison alone. He wrote “Here Comes the Sun,” after all. With the lost chord now found, the Maestro gets sucked off back where they came. Was the note they found the same one from the end of “Day in the Life?” RTD said they used a single Beatles chord. Was that it? I don’t know enough about music to answer that. After a quick re-listen, I'm going to say yes.

London is once again filled with music. Now, we’ll finally get the chance to see the Beatles play their actual music, right? They fixed music, right? God I wish. After cryptically looking into the camera and saying “There’s always a twist in the end,” the Doctor and Ruby are suddenly thrust into what I can only describe as the worst song possible. I’ve said in the past that I am not a huge fan of Murray Gold’s music. There’s nothing wrong with it, it’s just a bit safe for my tastes. But this song… I loathe it with every fibre of my being. It’s cloying, it’s corny, and it’s a repetitive ear worm you don’t want stuck in your head. I’ve said I was interested in Doctor Who doing a musical number, but this was god awful. I try to be as fair as possible when it comes to my reviews, so I think I’ve earned enough good faith to openly say this song is terrible. I would rather listen to the crappy dog song from earlier in the episode, and I don’t even own any circuit-bent instruments, and therein lies the problem.

How can you say the Doctor saved music when the way you present it is with a song that is simply not good? We need a good song in this moment, and that was not it. If ever there was a time to reach into the coffers and pay for a song, it was this. I mean, he said “There’s always a twist in the end,” and “Twist and Shout,” was right there. It wasn’t even written by the Beatles so it might have even been cheaper. They could even re-record it in the same Glee style in which they filmed the big song and dance routine. Hell, how expensive are Cilla Black songs? Do one of those. Instead, we get another fake Beatles song, in fake EMI studios, on fake Abbey Road to imply that we saved the future from a world of fake Beatles songs. By the time this insipid tune wears out its welcome, the Doctor and Ruby skip away across Abbey Road, lighting up the zebra crossing like piano keys. But instead of it being charming, it caused both my wife and I to say “Oh God, it’s still going.” 

After the episode, I did a little bit of reading. I figured the two people dancing with the Doctor and Ruby were guest stars as they singled them out over the other background dancers. Evidently, they’re judges or competitors on Strictly. I dunno, I don’t watch that shit. So I really have no idea if that song was written to be in the style of something you would see on Strictly. But what I do know, is that it was brave of Murray Gold to show his face during that exquisite train wreck. I guess this episode really did pull a “Daleks in Manhattan,” à la “My Angel Put the Devil In Me.” In that respect, you can add contemporary music to the list of things Doctor Who should do well, but can’t seem to get right. It’s in good company with pirates and westerns. “The Gunfighters,” even fails at two out of three. Impressive!

I do admire the hell out of RTD and company for throwing their whole ass into that ending. It takes real chutzpah to fail so spectacularly. And honestly, as harsh as I’ve been, I didn’t totally hate the scene. In some ways, it's a clever pastiche to '60s music. In that light, I could maybe come around to it, over time. They’re also trying new things. But I think we found the ceiling pretty fast. I can’t say I’d like to see that sort of thing a lot more in the future, but here and there? Sure. As it is, it feels unrestrained and masturbatory. And truthfully, I would have preferred an actual musical like Buffy’s “Once More, With Feeling,” or Star Trek: Strange New Worlds’ “Subspace Rhapsody.” They somehow gave me what I wanted while simultaneously failing to deliver.

Now of course, the real question is- what was the twist at the end? Was it the appearance of the Maestro’s “son,” Henry “Harbinger,” Arbinger?  Or maybe it was a meta-reference to actress Susan Twist, the woman who once again has shown up in the background. I find it even more interesting that in every episode where she’s appeared, they give her a line to read. Or maybe it’s a Susan twist, as in the Doctor’s granddaughter. They mention Susan in the same episode with an actress named Susan Twist where they sing about twists while doing the twist. It’s like “Who’s on second?” or “The Doctor’s daughter who plays the Doctor’s daughter in ‘The Doctor’s Daughter,’ marries the Doctor.” 

Despite the ending and the rehashed story, I rather liked this episode. Jinkx Monsoon and Ncuti Gatwa had great chemistry. The mysteries continue to unfold. Along with my hope for the Rani, I can now add hope for Susan into the mix, and as with the Rani, I won’t get my hopes up. In the same vein, I'm grateful that Maestro wasn't a code name for the Master. We've seen enough of him for a while, thanks. Ncuti and Millie continue to impress as the Doctor and Ruby. I also admired Ruby's restraint in not telling John Lennon to avoid chubby guys in glasses. I loved the Maestro and the fact that their laugh was vocal warm-up. So much fantastic attention to detail. But that ending is not my bag. It felt tacked on, poorly paced, and obnoxious. It reminded me of that line from Fight Club- “We are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.” Emphasis on the crap.

[incesthemes]

final thoughts: supernatural season 15

holy shit. i did it. i finished supernatural. i actually finished it a couple hours ago but i'm still having trouble processing it. i've been working at this for six months (but with a one-month break back in december) and i'm finally finished. honestly i don't think i really believed i would do it because shit this show is long, and i am not predisposed to enjoy shows like this. so this is a huge mark of pride for me, that i can finally say i did indeed sit down and watch all 327 episodes of supernatural :)

anyway all that to say i hated this season with a passion lmao, hasta la vista baby ✨

honestly i think i'll end up keeping this short because frankly most of my criticisms boil down to

how did you fuck up your own lore this badly

holy plotholes batman

this is so disrespectful and irreverent toward kripke's supernatural

nothing about this writing makes any kind of sense

well, that's convenient (in the most boring way imaginable)

so it's basically just a game of spin the wheel and see what it lands on.

the season started super weak; the concept was bad from the get-go and executed only to a mediocre standard, so i couldn't help but cringe my way through it. rowena's death was really well done, but her character was never well developed, in the same way most side characters on this show are never well developed, so while i appreciate the care that went into that scene it felt rather empty. it made me regret how poorly and inconsistently written she was. and yeah most side characters get this treatment—hell, cas gets this treatment which is why i don't care about him much—but she had such a provocative death scene that it had me lamenting that she didn't get a better foundation and better development. alas, that's just what it means to be someone other than sam and dean on supernatural.

after that was... the eileen subplot. i do really like eileen despite her being a rather flat and uninteresting character the way most women are on this show (y'know, kickass independent "girl power" women without nearly any other significant personality trait), but i really didn't appreciate the substantial pivot sam took from dean-focused to eileen-focused in this season. yes, season 12-14 did go to great efforts to make sure this wasn't The Sam And Dean Show anymore, but season 15 is so dramatically incongruous from even 12-14 that it just boggled my mind. the sam/eileen stuff was a major part of that, and it just didn't feel good because it was one more nail in the coffin with regards to how little the showrunners respected the foundation of the show (y'know, "the epic love story of sam and dean"). the only real salmondean moment in the entire season was the 7-minute incest speech in the finale—like what? i couldn't even properly enjoy that because of how poorly it was set up, thanks to the four seasons of retconning their relationship and making it less important to the series overall.

anyway all that to say, they had this massive sam/eileen subplot and then nothing even came of it. sam didn't even call to check if she was alive after jack resurrected everyone? he didn't meet up with her on screen even once? like if you're going to give him this season-long romance with someone other than dean, you could at least have the balls to commit to it. i find that just. godawful writing. eileen didn't have to be sam's blurry wife or anything, but he should have had some kind of resolution, literally anything at all, if we're meant to believe she's in any way important to him. c'mon.

more incongruous moments: dean got weirdly angry in this season. like what's with episode 17 man? there is nothing about dean in that episode that feels even remotely in character. from "jack's not family" to dean pulling a gun on sam, it all felt wildly overblown, way too melodramatic and sudden, and just not anything dean would do. yeah he's an angry guy, but???? this was too much, even for him. and the whole jack argument between sam and dean made me roll my eyes hard. because how do you expect me to believe that after all of the developments up to that point, that

dean wouldn't consider jack family. first of all that's stupid, dean drops the f-bomb on literally anyone he thinks is useful to further his goals. second of all it contradicts the bond they've formed since season 13, and it no longer fits with the parallel themes set up between sam, dean, and jack. it undermines what's been established, what's been developed, and what jack means to them on a thematic level. so so so stupid. cannot stress how dumb this move was. it just felt like the writers pulling out yet another OOC moment just so they can conveniently move the plot in the direction they wanted. so annoying.

sam and cas are equals in dean's eyes. like that's just hilarious to me. the last time cas died dean got sad for a little bit and burned his body on a pyre. the last time sam died dean committed suicide. these are not equal reactions. and sam and cas have never been equal to dean because dean always chooses sam over everyone, again evidenced in the series finale. so it was just hilarious for this one episode to pretend like sam and cas could ever be equal.

of course season 15 did really push a destiel agenda in the most unexpected and bizarre way. like wow, and i thought seasons 12-14 were a totally different show. no, season 15 is so much worse than that. i have absolutely no idea why they made the choices they did with this season, but they were not good, they routinely disrespected kripke's foundations of the show, and they ignored every theme ever laid out up until then. all for... what, exactly? so dean and cas can have a weird little non-romance together for 18 episodes only for them to slip wincest back in at the end? what's up with that? no like seriously, what were they trying to do here????

i told my friend this earlier, but i do think it's funny how cas's death speech is just straight-up factually incorrect regarding dean. i'm 100% fully willing to believe that castiel was blinded with lust by dean winchester that he simply made up some guy in his head who looked like dean. and that will be my headcanon going forth because wow it's shocking and funny as hell how much he got wrong while waxing poetic about dean. "you're the most selfless man i know" when kripke spent 5 seasons pounding it into our heads how fundamentally selfish dean (and sam, obviously, but the speech is about dean) is. girl what are you saying. dick so good he rewrote dean's basic character traits to be more convenient to him. i respect it truly i do.

anyway the finale. i hated it! to absolutely no one's surprise. a few days ago i wrote out what i thought would have been the most thematically cogent endings for supernatural. i knew what actually happens, obviously (hard to miss tbh), but my resolve on this front was only strengthened by actually watching it. yes the 7 minutes of incest were very nice and compelling, but... wow. this episode has some of the worst pacing i've ever seen in my life. dean died halfway into the episode? and the rest of that was... a sequence of short scenes that are too drawn-out to be a montage??? like there was no tension, no buildup, and no setup for what they did. it felt so lazy and underdeveloped, lacking any kind of poignancy or thematic cohesion. and then i had to watch TWENTY MINUTES of half-baked scenes of dean in heaven and sam growing old. i wouldn't have hated this ending so much if they had better pacing, i'm serious. like the outrage i feel is predominantly because of how badly it was written. the concepts aren't good, but they were par for the course. but TWENTY MINUTES OF MONTAGE. A MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH WITH NO EMOTIONAL BUILDUP, WHICH ACTIVELY CONTRADICTS THE THEMES OF THE SHOW. WHAT!!!!!!! WERE THEY THINKING!!!!!!!!!!

anyway i disliked that a little bit.

so overall i pretty much hated every part of this season and there were very, very, very few redeeming features sprinkled in. it's fine though! i'm fine. it's all over now :)

a few brief thoughts on the series overall: i regret ever speaking badly of kripke's supernatural; i didn't know how good i had it until it was gone. in hindsight, a lot of the seasons i thought were dogshit were actually not the worst things ever—i just didn't realize how bad bad could get. i know now. i will carry that knowledge with me forever.

dramatics aside, i honestly did enjoy watching the show. as much as i hated so many of the writing choices, the plotholes, the retcons, the way the writers just handwaved away anything inconvenient and rewrote characters entirely just to force them into the story they way they wanted them—it was still, like, fun. the agony was enjoyable (things masochists say). i think it helps that the fandom at large generally agrees that the writing is bad; it gives a sense of community and solidarity in the misery. there's no uneasy disconnect between myself and the rest of the fanbase, and that honestly does make all the difference. it's fun to suffer together, and i don't regret watching this show one bit :)

so with that said, here's my final ranking for every season:

season 1 (thematically strong, tight writing, incredible vision, truly foundational in its establishment of overarching themes, tone, and genre)

season 2 (such an interesting plot which builds on what was established in season 1. this is where the meat of the show is, where the heart is exposed to daylight as the chest is ripped open)

season 3 (well written, though disappointing in some areas largely due to kripke dropping the special children plot thus leaving a hole. not very noticeable due to the good writing, but still there. i'll never forgive them for killing off henricksen)

season 4 (this is the first real drop in quality imo, but it's relatively insignificant. the writing feels more meandering, and the tone shifts rather drastically away from the horror of its origin. the introduction of angels destroys a lot of the religious anxiety that formed the foundation of the show, but at the same time introduces a fantastic story about fate and doom)

season 5 (same as season 4, but with the flaws a bit more glaring. castiel's unclear motivations and underdeveloped shift in perspective are a major point of contention for me; i don't think it was handled well and could have been written better to make him a stronger character from the get-go, possibly allowing him to be a better character in later seasons instead of the conflicting mess we ended up with)

season 9 (the writing is atrocious, but the vision is so good. i still don't know how they managed that. they had such a great idea and they took kripke's supernatural and expanded on it in such a satisfying way. it drove me crazy! but holy shit the actual writing is so bad)

season 8 (i feel largely the same about 8 as i do 9, but i just think the writing was overall worse. it does get brownie points for having benny in it, though)

season 10 (boring. boring and paced so, so, so badly. the sole redeeming feature was how committed it was to its vision. it has the exact opposite problem as season 6 in that it has too little content to fill out the season. but god, the vision. you'll hear me waxing poetic about the season 8-10 vision on my death bed)

season 7 (it did a lot to pave the road for seasons 8-10 which i can't ignore. it also got itself fairly settled after the mess season 6 was and didn't try to bite off more than it could chew. i didn't love it, but it had a lot of moments that were provocative and interesting, and it provided pretty good setup for season 8. the writing was not good, but i think that goes without saying)

season 6 (introduced really interesting ideas, but tried to cram so much into one season that it failed to deliver satisfying payoffs for any of its setup. soulless sam was an interesting exception and really redeemed it for me)

season 12 (12 and 13 are about equal for me because i hate the plots, i hate the intense diversion away from The Sam And Dean Show, i hate the writing, i hate the concepts, etc etc. but they both introduce supporting characters which show off new and interesting sides to sam and dean: mary in 12 and jack in 13. it allows for focus to stay on sam and dean's relationship a little longer even though they're no longer generating any organic conflict between them, so i appreciate that at least)

season 13 (i fucking HATE the apocalypse world. that is my deciding factor between seasons 12 and 13. also i hate what they did to mary here)

season 14 (honestly an inoffensive season. i still hate the writing way more than anything else pre-12, and it doesn't have the benefits of a new character introduced to provide external conflict between sam and dean, so while it was relatively inoffensive it was also boring, lacking, and really obvious how little the writers cared about maintaining sam and dean's relationship as the emotional core of the show)

season 11 (the writing all things considered wasn't the absolute worst thing i've ever seen, if i'm being fair. on the other hand, i hated everything about this season conceptually, and i hate that it vouched for christianity as the ~one true religion~ which again undermines kripke's original series. this is me being petty and i'm okay with that)

season 15 (see above. oh but i'm honestly surprised it managed to surpass my ire toward season 11. like honestly it's impressive because i hold a massive grudge toward 11 which should have been insurmountable. a feat has certainly been achieved here!)

anyway. i said this wasn't going to be long but then i just kept on writing and writing. because that's what i do. i never learn 😔 i'll end it here then. i intend to go back and rewatch seasons 1-5 now that i'm finally finished, so i'm looking forward to that. i want to see if my rose-tinted glasses that i've been looking at kripke era with are based on reality or simply a longing to return to less terrible times :P

[dmbakura]

doing this meme with V cuz I FEEL LIKE IT WEHHH. warning for necrophilia, minor incest implications (with Bhaal) and SA mention 👍

1. vers-bottom, and very much a sub.

2. he's a dark urge so you can imagine violence and gore gets him off but even without the durge stuff he's still quite morbid. he has a bit of a silly side in bed too tho and if you can make him laugh (with terrible gallows humour especially) he's all for it. turn offs? uhh he doesn't really like chivalrous hero types at all and anything like that is likely to just make him really bored.

3. he's kind of a rapid fire cummer 🤨 lord have mercy that boy can squirt

4. his chest is pretty sensitive, especially around the scarring. his ears and neck as well

5. again, offering him gore, either killing someone/something or hell, even just talking about it really gets him going. but if you ACTUALLY want to get to know him, paying attention to his emotional needs and offering him a place to spill his thoughts and he's pretty damn easy lmao. he's not hard to seduce at all, he's quite lonely.

6. uhh pre tadpole, actually quite a lot. he kind of worked it into his killing schedule 💀 again, he's pretty lonely and doesn't feel safe with a lot of people so he only really found solace in dead bodies. post tadpole, after meeting Astarion, Abdirak, Halsin, etc he has way too many boyfriends to really bother with it at all

7. V would answer "yes". he probably likes riding the most, anything where his partner can touch him or look at him easily

8. 🧍‍♂️I don't really know if having sex with dead bodies counts as losing virginity. but anyways his first real sexual encounter with another person was at the temple of Bhaal. he got there late teens/early 20s and was curious and did it with another cultist

9. anywhere. bed, floor, sacrificial altar. he doesn't care and not much bothers him in terms of comfort

10. yep... it's not so much that he has an exhibition kink (I mean maybe a little) but he literally just doesn't care if he's caught

11. loud, extremely loud

12. ehhhm... I guess the closest thing is he learned a magic penis spell and uses it sometimes?

13. he *generally* prefers receiving. being a bhaalspawn, he's somewhat afraid of what he can do to another person, hence post tadpole he's pretty passive in sexual encounters with say- Astarion. however, he also has streaks where he REALLY wants to please his partner, so yeah i guess once he's more comfortable with his own autonomy he's more comfortable giving and being in control.

14. pretty often once he's with his boyfriends... you can imagine lmao

15. he wants to be understood, he wants someone to be able to handle him and make him feel like he won't fly out of control. he gets really comfortable when people take him seriously and pay attention to his needs. he's been neglected a lot of his life and he tries to portray himself as a mindless killing machine, but he really just wants to be known.

16. starved. he's a bit like Astarion in the sense that might come across as a mindless hedonist, but he really wants genuine connection and he's quite greedy for it when it's offered to him.

17. he doesn't have tits or a dick so idk what to put here 💀

18. pre tadpole: Bhaal. worshipping Bhaal. utter devotion to Bhaal... yeah he desperately wants the approval and love of his father and it comes out in really unhealthy ways. post bg3 if he somehow finds the time to masturbate he's doing it while thinking about either Astarion, Abdirak or Halsin.

19. he prefers men but he's open to pretty much anything else. I'd probably classify him as bi with a male lean. he thinks women are hot too and kind of laments he doesn't have many female partners 😔 maybe I should give him a girlfriend too.

20. pain REALLY gets him off. he usually likes being punished or rough treatment during sex, and then being thoroughly taken care of afterwards. specifically he likes his pussy being spanked. also likes being bitten.

21. currently doing an RP with him where he and Astarion sneak in Gortash's bedroom and have sex 💀 but honestly there's probably been weirder places

22. neck probably. V would just say "everywhere. kiss me everywhere."

23. he was sexually abused by Kressa Bonedaughter during his captivity in the colony. he only remembers this when meeting her again and he Doesn't Take It Well

24. as mentioned above, yes. Abdirak basically makes it a requirement when they have their penance sessions LOL

25. decently often. not really all the time tho. it just sort of happens when it happens

26. so V had? a weird experience with being trans? his self consciousness only sort of came into play AFTER he got bonked on the head by Orin and lost his memory. his senses got scrambled, he was kind of surprised (?) he didn't have a penis? so for whatever reason he got a bit thrown off about that and thought Astarion might be weirded out by it, even though Astarion wasn't. he was also really unimpressed when he got his period and just went "how the fuck did i deal with this again?"

27. V likes a drawn out session... so long, ideally.

28. as mentioned above, he has a silly side. I've drawn this with him cracking puns while Astarion fucks him as well

29. I've mentioned it before but Orin did his top surgery and it was part mastectomy and part murder attempt. he got some pretty sick scars out of it tho!

[goldensunset]

How does death work in the TWEWY universe, from the perspective of the living?

Thinking logically, I might believe that the Players are merely in a coma, stubbornly refusing to die until they either get erased or win.

But it's also so amusing to have the idea of a Player winning the game and crawling out of their own grave because they were, in fact, Actually Deceased.

REAL this is bonkers to me

•the coma idea is neat but i doubt there’s any doubt in the minds of living people that these guys are dead. we know eri referred to shiki as having died.

•i believe it was established in the reports in the first game that by the composer’s power they are reformed with a new body (iirc). which begs the question of what happens to their old body that’s been buried or cremated or w/e. wouldn’t that be wild if it just remained so when the person died again now they had two bodies in the same grave or w/e lol*

•i think it was implied in neo at some point that once someone comes back to life the living sort of just. forget??? that the person ever died??? which is insane. like their memories of reality are overwritten by the lie that the composer feeds them. only the reborn person knows the truth which. ouch. that has to be a horrible burden to carry. but it makes sense

•but i also think. if i remember correctly shoka has a line (i think she was talking to beat?) that’s like ‘geez how does she even remember you’ when he’s talking about how he’s communicating with rhyme. which. girl what do you MEAN. is she implying that the living forget the dead ever existed at all even if the dead have not been erased yet??? that can’t be right. we know eri remembered shiki. or is it specifically because of the weird thing that happened to the people who got pulled into the game without dying. where like their entire presence online got erased (why exactly did that happen? idk)

•i think they say something about how rhyme and shiki, as former ug residents, can see beat, rindo, fret, and nagi even across ground lines because those guys are not truly dead. ordinary rg residents can’t see them at all and no rg residents can see neku and shoka are truly dead. idk. but still i would like to know what the situation was like for, say, nagi. someone alive in the ug. did the people who knew her temporarily forget her. dude

*another set of questions has been raised. sorry <3

•first question: do all of the recent dead in an area automatically join the game? most are probably erased, and probably immediately. twewy week one has dialogue that implies the size of that week’s game was a mere 12 people. idk what average number of people in a given population die per week in real life so idk what conclusion to draw there. but probably more than 12 in all of shibuya lol.

•anyway, if it’s not everyone, if where do the other dead go??? instant erasure?? i think it might be that as a test to see who’s worthy of rebirth, only certain people even get a ticket into said test. like the reapers use their prejudice to determine if you’re even worth inviting. or if that’s not the case, the people who get in could simply be the people who WANT to live again. a lot of people probably just accept oblivion. the reason we only see plucky young kids (or like. nerds and influencers in neo lol) is because they still had entire lives ahead of them and were not at all prepared for death. so the reapers might’ve just like read their souls and determined their desire. of course we see like the twewy main 5 all being like ahhhh idk if i have anything to come back to am i even worth it… but that’s just them lamenting the state of their lives. that’s not the same as openly welcoming death.

•second question: could you die and play the reaper’s game multiple times? cheating death infinitely because you’re just that good at solving puzzles beating noise? imagine a player on their fifth life and death the reapers are like ‘c’mon man just join us already it’s the only path to angelhood aka the ideal highest state of being. every game is a gamble and you’re only getting older and less capable. don’t you want to chill out and live in peace?’ and the player’s like ‘no shut up i don’t want your crummy job. i still have so many books to read and my cats need me. i’ll see you in like a month when i inevitably fall down the stairs again’

tldr: ‘oh simple ask i’ll respond right away with just a few words and a normal amount of thoughts about the twewyverse’

[tradetobest]

hello user cats0p... long time lurker but only recently back to tumblr.com because i HAVE to ask more about your golf au and after my anon q was well received i just. i need to know more. here are some of my thoughts:

1634 my faves... i'm so caught on your vague deliberation between auston just being Rich Guy or Auston Matthews because:

regular guy is interesting bc it's so approachable and unassuming... like, he's just some guy. which isn't, like, unapproachable or unreachable by any means, even if he is really big and hot and presumably makes enough money to be spending his evenings at a country club and not at work and kinda feels like he's being flirted with but surely not because... this guy probably has a wife and kids?? but he's always eyeing mitch up and trying to tip him even when mitch isn't even supposed to take tips like that

but hockey auston is like... mitch is in overdrive bc [jennifer lawrence voice] what do you MEAN mitch's favorite leaf and savior of the toronto maple leafs is trying to chat him up at his cart?? i feel like this avenue would be WAY more overwhelming for mitch because he doesn't know how to approach it and isn't sure what the norms are... like is he allowed to tell auston that he played like crazy on sunday and it was so sick, or that he threw his hat at the game against florida two years ago when auston got a hat trick, and not to mention it makes mitch that much MORE dubious to believe auston is flirting with him or that he'd ever have a chance w him...

like both are so so good to consider on all fronts but i'm so enchanted by the idea of auston like... purposely fucking up his drive just to be like oop mitch... sorry you know what a klutz i am i fucked up the green over here again. and auston's friends are all loitering by the cart/ordering drinks and he's the one standing over mitch asking how he even ended up doing something like this and if he likes it and what he's doing over the weekend... and sweet mitchy is so oblivious but excited to talk to him as he patches up whatever hole auston has carved out of the green. his golf score is suffering (as is his wallet seeing as loser buys dinner) but he can't say getting to talk to mitch isn't worth it...

2. i cannot get over little server boy tz... just imagining him in his little tan cargo shorts taking drink orders and letting people's moms do shots with him... i know he dropped so many cocktails when he started serving people. passing his disposable vape of the day to the bartender and trying to get them to make him a drink that tastes like mago blue tropical razz ice or whatever other ridiculous flavor he's trying and failing to be subtle about sucking down that day. lamenting over the blue eyed hottie who is always around his family (and therefore very hard to hit on) who orders virgin frozen pina coladas (and come on, trevor could do SO MUCH with that if he just had time to get one line laid on him without his mom watching)...

3. i don't really go here but... all of the golf course/country clubs i've ever been to have had pools/gyms/kids clubs and... have you considered spin class instructor matthew knies OR kids club employee joseph woll... i know kniesy would be cougar nip but also that woller would be irresistible watching over a bunch of kiddos while their parents are out getting drunk by the pool/on the green...

apologies for the length but i'm in love w this little world you've made and i'd love to hear more about it!!

HIII OH MY GOD YOU DONT KNOW HOW HAPPY GETTING THIS MADE ME I LITERALLY SCREAMED!!! AAAA HELLO!!!!

i think while reading this i mustve said "you get me" fully out loud at least 12 times while reading this because like. you just get me... you Understand....

the 1634 dilemma is so real... like normie but rich auston trying to slip mitch a 20 and mitch going "oh like turf people dont really get tipped" and auston going "no its for you" and mitch smiling and going "aww thanks!! :D" and just Not getting it and auston is trying SO hard

but also Leafs Auston is soooo compelling to me when you wrote it out like that idek.... mitch going internally "oh god can i tell him i know who he is" and saying "yeah uhh,,, good shot. as usual haha" after auston takes a drive and being all nervous meanwhile auston is like "oh my god he knows who i am do you think hes impressed by me" and outward is like "thanks man." and claps him on the shoulder. and is like "oh my god i touched him."

auston on the tee box like "oh man mitch i mustve pulled something last night exercising my big strong muscles can you help correct my swing" and mitch going "sure (dying)" and coming up behind him and auston like slightly leaning over into him and mitch like. dies. passes away. rip mitch marner. and then for the next like 5 times he sees auston he blushes IMMEDIATELY. very cute

2. tz is absolutely obsessed w jamie like thats so real.... always talking abt him and everything... jack is so sick of his ass but jack "just doesn't get it, dude, he's so hot. look at him. sitting there." and jack looks over and jamie is wincing bcs he got brain freeze from his fucking virgin pina colada that he orders every time and jack just has to look over and watch trevor pop another zyn and say nothing. save him nico. nico save him.

3. OOO thats so smart and cute actually i love that!! my club didnt have that probably because the clientele were mostly older but like... having that is Smart. and like... a gym and classes open up So Many More job possibilities,,,, a sweaty just-out-the-gym kniesy like going down the hall and knocking lightly on the kids club door and hearing a "COMING!" and woller opens the door and he has like. a heart sticker on his cheek and his hair in pigtails and a little bit of marker on his forehead and kniesy feels his heart grow like. ten sizes. maybe woller takes the kids out to the pool and kniesy can see them and jsut... eyes. he purposefully books a water fitness course so that maybe woller can watch him in the pool too..... thats SOOOO REALNESS oh my god

please forever continue to send me little ideas abt this no matter how short or how long i love them all like i literally have been thinking abt this All Day and its been making me so happy..... RAHH like. THEM!!! THEY!!! im so happy you like my silly lil au that basically came out of me going "oh my adhd ass loved this job im sure mitch would love it too!!" ilysm thank you for sending me another ask about this

[sonthechest]

This post isn't full of pretty pictures or entirely made of all caps shouting about how a show sucked to bring in the engagement which means so many of those who could do with a read and reflect probably won't even see it. Never the less here goes:

Please can you stop directing your burning hatred about something you felt personally wronged by in a show at the creators, writers or even actors of that thing you love! In almost *all* cases it will be the studio/company who payed for it who are at fault for the things that are annoying you (and having worked in tv and film I can guarantee it would have annoyed the show runners, creators and writers too).

Especially in the age of streaming.

Angry that stories feel like they dont get the character development and emotional depth you remember from shows of the past? Its because the 'studios' (which are now really huge mega-companies that operate more like the economies of some kind of ultra capitalist country crossed with an unregulated hedge fund) insist on less episodes (to make it so they pay no residuals) meaning your show that should have been 10 or 12 eps is now 6 or 8 and reduced down to rocketing the plot along, briefly introducing characters and fitting in its action scenes with no time for enough of that emotional development you want (see Ahsoka).

Are you lamenting the 'terrible writing' of something? Well maybe now, thanks to the strike, the writers will be given more time to write and, as they also now have the right to second drafts and rewrites of content during filming, perhaps writing across all content will now improve. But imagine trying to get *anything* done right first draft - especially something as complicated as scripted entertainment in a high budget show with lots of effects - and being asked to churn it out in an ever shorter time frame for less and less money all the time and you could see how plot points could remain undeveloped, character relationships left out, seemingly obvious (to the viewer) connections not made. Now we know what restrictions were on the writing we as fans start to understand why with many shows they don't have their best episode until half way through or more because the writing team has by then at least had a little more time with what they are writing and understanding of the characters!

You know who's fault it is writers are given the shortest possible writing time frame (in the case of the Willow series it was just 6 weeks!) and no budget for multiple drafts and rewrites in response to shooting? Yes that's right - the studios.

You also know who likes to cancel content even if it did absolute gangbuster streaming numbers and was critically praised (like A League of Their Own) with no warning - the studios.

As fans we have every right to criticise what we love but as fans we also have power - so lets make sure we are directing that power in the right way and at the right people.

[saintmeghanmarkle]

Meghan Markle's Pathological Refusal to acknowledge Accomplishments of Others : Why celebrities and well connected people don't like her. by u/Sense_Difficult

Meghan Markle's Pathological Refusal to acknowledge Accomplishments of Others : Why celebrities and well connected people don't like her. I was watching a video by the Twins (I'll post below) where Meghan is interviewed with her co star and you can see the frustration and annoyance on MM's face where she just refuses to "take her place" in the show or in the interview.It's such a telling example of her behavior and why I think she's basically getting the cold shoulder everywhere. We all know her to be entitled, narcissistic and arrogant but, I think there's something next level to the way she treats people who are "technically" "better than her." And this behavior is likely what drew Harry to her in the first place.She's had access to many hugely successful people who I think, perhaps, in the beginning, took her behavior as spunky or standy up for herself. Men especially were probably a little charmed by her Moxie and confidence.But women who were successful in their own right, talented, and intelligent and well put together were probably so confused by her in the beginning they didn't really catch on to what she was doing. That she REALLY DOES consider herself "equal" to them and is basically blowing up her measly half ass "skills" with years and decades of professional success.Example: I bet when she first "met" Michelle Obama, she acted like since she was marrying into the RF she knew what it was like to be the wife of a powerful political leader. NOPEI can totally imagine her being the type to hang out with Mariah and Bey and just casually mention that she took singing lessons in school and she almost wanted to do that as a career but she decided she wanted to do something more meaningful. She said as much when she was written out of Suits.I can imagine her lamenting with Tyler Perry how she knows exactly what he goes through as a producer after her Archetypes and the Netflix series. Or talking to Gayle and Oprah about her years of experience interviewing people. Or talking to writers about her decades of experience writing. Or political leaders about her lifetime of work in working for human rights challenges. (yes Palmolive)I can absolutely see her sitting next to Serena's mom with her "I"m so nervous for Serena" fake talk and in dead seriousness talking about how she's been watching Serena and gave her a little hint about her backhand the other day when they were playing at Monticito.That's what we saw play out with the RF. Like she couldn't understand why the Queen was not super impressed with her as an equal. She expects everyone to be impressed with her and she has zero respect for them and refuses to acknowledge their actual accomplishments beyond a cursory "go you powerful woman" type thing. She absolutely never acknowledged Catherine's years of work, even dismissing her in that discussion about them working together as the Fab Four.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCcSifgE5ZYIn the video clip it's really obvious that her co star just basically ignores her and has no interest in what she's saying. Lower level successful people probably see through her MUCH FASTER that super successful people who are not expecting such obnoxious ignorance. If you aren't familiar with the show, (I'm not) it seems like MM's character and Sara Rafferty's character are equally important. But it's not really true.​ post link: https://ift.tt/jPck67X author: Sense_Difficult submitted: September 03, 2023 at 12:03AM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit

[basedkikuenjoyer]

Showtime at Otsuru’s Okobore Teahouse

🎵 “A desert road, from Vegas to nowhere, but someplace better than where I’ve been... 🎵

Spider’s Cafe, where the Baroque Works Officers meet in Alabasta, was inspired by a 1988 film pictured above. Bagdad Cafe. We know this from the Vol.20 SBS. At the time, Oda laments it really isn’t the type of story that jives with manga so he kept it to a more simple design homage. Captured a little of the magic with their cover serial’s finale and the initial scene of the officer agents trickling in. His particular note was the “austere elegance” and tone. Having seen the movie, and being no stranger to the Southwestern US, I get what he means. Imagine you’re flying somehwere alone. You have to change planes, the layover turns into a delay. For the near future...you’re nobody. There’s a certain freedom in that, isn’t there? Especially when you’re not in a good place, moments like that can really lay things bare. That’s the point of this movie, how much that pause can change you. 

My pitch here is going to be that by the time we got to Wano, he figured out a way to capture this and did so through Tsuru’s Teahouse. Mind you, going in I was looking for other little nods for our 12 Days of Miss Merrychristmas spectacular. Somewhere along the way I realized where I was recognizing the vibe from. This will be a bit of a long one, but I hope you give it a shot. Oda’s always been a big film buff who slips a lot of homages in. He gushed about this movie in the SBS question. For good reason.

Here’s one of those little shared motifs that make me think I have something. I’m not just randomly using a still from the film, this shit with the binoculars is exactly the same as it is in the movie. That guy’s Sal, one of the main women’s husband. He spends the bulk of the movie observing from afar, commenting through his binoculars like some Greek chorus. Just like the Heart Pirates here. One of those cool bits about Okobore/Bakura is that fate like, forces that story to go unimpeded. 

Then take that idea we’ve touched on with the Tsuru/Kiku/Tama trio, the notion they're kinda the same woman at different stages of life. It's filtered through being part of a larger work than the self-contained focus, but that’s a core thread of Bagdad Cafe. Now add the fact all three are introduced fleeing a man trying to take advantage of them. The movie is all about two women breaking from their husband and finding a certain magic in leaning on each other, trying to make something more of the desolate truck stop. A lot of the driving force was the German tourist Yasmin appreciating the temporary break. Ultimately in the end she comes back, establishing the Bagdad Cafe as one of the swinginest lil spots in the Mojave.

This is how the movie ends. The journey and tone matter more anyways. Yasmin is back to stay for good, the rundown cafe is an oasis in the desert (hi Yuba!). A swinging show, everyone’s using their talents and so much happier. It’s not like a whole lot is better, it’s still a rather poor and desolate town. But that cheery cafe makes all the difference. Brings people together and makes the community feel a little more special. And it makes me think of that “pillars of the community” theme we had all Wano. Yasu in Ebisu, Tsuru/Kiku in Okobore, Toki in the past, & Marco on Sphinx. But also like...I love this idea that Okobore/Bakura are this micro-show before we get into the giant sweeping samurai epic. One that has some themes that weave in and out of the rest, but others that won’t flare up until after. For some reason, we start by introducing a couple of core characters coming out of this kind of environment. Being called to play their part.

I’ve said this about Kiku before, it feels like her story is out of order. Okobore sorta suits her as a nice reprieve. She seemed like one of the few people genuinely at ease in the “outsider” towns. Just by being her earnest, quirky self. So to take that, mix it in with this neat film reference, and use it as an intro to the arc? It makes me think about the narrative reason for stripping Luffy of all the buildup to this arc. Fate forced him to stumble into this side story, only picking up Zoro along the way who’d need to repeat with it spelled out more. Meanwhile Luffy’s story will blaze ahead into a big unanticipated victory with these new girls as the rest of the crew catches up by building their own connections.

I know it’s a small ripple, but I’m over here geeking out about it! The movie is adorable and yeah, even when I wasn’t really looking for it I saw major Teahouse Trio vibes. So, way to go Oda! You cracked the code, it did work as a way of introducing someone. Just like Baroque Works, but here it feels like it helps me understand the intention. An intention that tracks with how I was already wondering.

[pomegranate-cuties]

Chapter 19 Reactions

First time poster, long time reader and so on. All instances of bold in quoted text is my own emphasis. Now, without further ado:

People who have never seen these structures, and have only the ill-imagined efforts of artists or the imperfect descriptions of such eye-witnesses as myself to go upon, scarcely realise that living quality. I recall particularly the illustration of one of the first pamphlets to give a consecutive account of the war. The artist had evidently made a hasty study of one of the fighting-machines, and there his knowledge ended. He presented them as tilted, stiff tripods, without either flexibility or subtlety, and with an altogether misleading monotony of effect. The pamphlet containing these renderings had a considerable vogue, and I mention them here simply to warn the reader against the impression they may have created. They were no more like the Martians I saw in action than a Dutch doll is like a human being. To my mind, the pamphlet would have been much better without them.

Tell us how you really feel Mr Narrator! As someone who's been accepting any and all illustrations of our tripod aliens as canon, I'm feeling very attacked right now. And who was it who first described the Martian machines as a milk stool, hm?

The internal anatomy, I may remark here, as dissection has since shown, was almost equally simple.

I love these delicious little hints of a post-Martian world 🥰

They did not eat, much less digest. Instead, they took the fresh, living blood of other creatures, and injected it into their own veins. I have myself seen this being done, as I shall mention in its place.

Virgin digestive system (humans) vs Chad vampire metabolism (Martians). Also, I'm having a bad feeling about the fate of the Curate...

Their undeniable preference for men as their source of nourishment

[Audio and video description: Official YouTube music video for the US version of "Maneater" by Nelly Furtado, an uptempo electro-pop song with an infectious, thumping beat. The video is set to start at the chorus (timestamped 2:12), depicting Nelly Furtado dancing in a dimly-lit, dilapidated warehouse, interspersed with shots of the crowd dancing in other rooms of the warehouse:

Maneater, make you work hard Make you spend hard, make you want all of her love She's a maneater, make you buy cars Make you cut cards, make you fall real hard in love She's a maneater, make you work hard Make you spend hard, make you want all of her love She's a maneater, make you buy cars Make you cut cards, wish you never ever met her at all

End description.]

These creatures, to judge from the shrivelled remains that have fallen into human hands, were bipeds with flimsy, silicious skeletons (almost like those of the silicious sponges) and feeble musculature, standing about six feet high and having round, erect heads, and large eyes in flinty sockets. Two or three of these seem to have been brought in each cylinder, and all were killed before earth was reached. It was just as well for them, for the mere attempt to stand upright upon our planet would have broken every bone in their bodies.

[Audio and video description: Scene from "Chocolate with Nuts" (season 3, episode 52) of SpongeBob Squarepants. SpongeBob, with a bandaged head and two crutches, and Patrick, with a neck brace and both arms in casts, knock on the door of a potential chocolate customer. The customer wears a full-body cast, eyepatch, and ventilator face mask, with an IV drip attached to his right side.

The video begins with a close up of the customer's face, who laments, "Ugh, some guys have all the luck. I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning, I break my legs, and every afternoon, I break my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep." As he speaks, a violin begins to play, and the shot cuts over to SpongeBob and Patrick, who look like they're about to cry.

Right as the customer finishes his speech, the mobility device holding the customer's leg out from him falls. A wire snaps, sending the customer tumbling down the stairs to the sounds of shattering glass and cries of pain.

End description.]

In the next place, wonderful as it seems in a sexual world, the Martians were absolutely without sex

Ace pride 🖤🤍💜

The last salient point in which the systems of these creatures differed from ours was in what one might have thought a very trivial particular. Micro-organisms, which cause so much disease and pain on earth, have either never appeared upon Mars or Martian sanitary science eliminated them ages ago. A hundred diseases, all the fevers and contagions of human life, consumption, cancers, tumours and such morbidities, never enter the scheme of their life.

Yes! I'm so glad this's been finally addressed, because it was the first thing I was curious about. It's a little inconceivable to me for life to exist on other planets without microorganisms, but that may be a lack of imagination on my part. What's more interesting is what this might mean for Martian immune systems...

[myfavebandfizz]

Notion Magazine Interview

FIZZ Are Finding The Sweet Spot Between Reality And Make Believe

Words Yazzi Gokcemen

November 3, 2023

FIZZ, the indie pop supergroup making a buzz, are bubbling with optimism after discovering the secrets to life in their dreamy debut album The Secret To Life.

FIZZ was the first moniker that band members dodie, Orla Gartland, Greta Isaac and Martin Luke Brown could collectively agree upon. Despite being plucked from the blue, the name is the perfect fit for the tight-knit music collective; their debut album, The Secret To Life, which dropped last week, is giddy with escapism, unpredictable and full of freewheeling fun. 

The band’s latest project is the product of a summer spent locked in a recording studio in the British countryside. At Middle Farm Studios, Devon, FIZZ found the uninterrupted space that allowed their four creative minds to sync in running wild. With the help of producing wizard Peter Miles, they actualised their imagination and musical musings into a cohesive 12-track album.

Each member of the alternative indie-pop band is a successful artist in their own right. dodie is a critically acclaimed artist, Orla is an Irish singer-songwriter and guitarist, Greta is a Cardiff-born folky-artist and Martin is a self-described ‘gritty, soul-y, hippie boy’. Meeting coincidentally on their various musical escapades, they quickly became each others ‘biggest fans’ and began collaborating, honing a unique collective sound. Audible on their four previous singles, it was only a matter of time before a FIZZ album, and universe ‘Fizzville’, was born. 

Described as the ‘sweet spot between reality and make-believe’, The Secret To Life takes listeners on an emotive, sensory-stimulating journey, akin to Willy Wonka’s bubblegum (one of the album’s inspirations). Most songs are uplifting but there are moments, like the interlude ‘Strawberry Jam’, which lament loneliness and melancholy. ‘You, Me, Lonely’ is a stand-out track, showcasing dodie’s captivating lead vocals along with cleverly layered harmonies. The band describes it as: “A time capsule for the moment right before two hearts break”.

Before FIZZ take their whimsical new music on a UK tour in February, we learn how the quiet quickly became the storm.

How did you meet and what lead you to become a collective?

Right, let’s see. Orla met Gret when getting her band together for her first UK tour back in 2013. Martin ended up supporting Orla on her second UK tour, which Gret was also on in 2015. On this tour, dodie was supporting at the London show. So, I guess we all officially met on that fateful night in 2015 about eight years ago. Since then we’ve all collaborated in various ways. Gret’s worked on creative for Orla, dodie and Martin projects at various different points. Martin and Gret have written loads together, including a couple of songs on Orla’s first album, Orla plays guitar in dodie’s band. We’ve been in each other’s pockets for years, it was only a matter of time and circumstance really, we are truly just the biggest fans of each other.

Why pick the name FIZZ?

Because it was slightly better than Drew Bandymoore… Only just though.

Why do you work well as a band – what connects you?

Pure play really. We all feel so safe and unjudged and that allows for so much daft shit to happen.

Your style and visuals are distinctive, how did you create this FIZZ aesthetic and what is its significance?

When we were making the album, it was all about retreating from our usual way of creating. The process was all about inverting how we’d usually write music and flipping it entirely on its head – a lot of it felt really playful, intuitive, theatrical and honestly really fucking ambitious. I think when we started thinking about how we wanted the creative of the album to expand on that, we referenced visuals that made us feel similar. We wanted to find the sweet spot between reality and make-believe, and started thinking about films like Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, The Wizard Of Oz, Alice In Wonderland: films that take place in these constructed realities that feel really sickly sweet, but have this uncanny valley distortion about them. We’ve worked with some insanely talented artists and creatives to bring our make-believe world, ‘Fizzville’, to life; it’s been such a joy so far.

How would you describe your ‘sound’?

 Like, absolutely horrible but undeniably fun.

When did you have your first big break as a band? 

That’s a hard one to answer really, I guess in various ways we’ve all had breaks in our own worlds, so it’s all felt like a marrying of our individual successes. We’ve had so many fun moments already. The BBC Radio 1 Maida Vale session was amazing, playing Latitude was great. We also did this one-off collaborative event with immersive theatre company Punchdrunk who we’re huge fans of, so that felt big too.

What was it like performing at The Great Escape and other festivals this summer? 

It was so fun seeing how people were reacting to the songs after hearing them for the first time. It’s such a mad world, we weren’t sure how it was gonna go down with people but it’s all been received with open arms. We’re all itching for the album to be out so we can play shows where people have had time to fully live with the songs.

What is your musical process – does it change with every project? 

There is no process really. With this album, we did it in two separate week-long trips to the middle farm and within that time we wrote and recorded everything. It’s just a case of carving out the time and trusting that we’ll be able to capture the magic of it all while we’re there.

What are the challenges of being a young band in the UK music industry?

I think the hardest thing has been navigating social media as a group. Portraying four distinct personalities through one channel has been challenging at times. We all care so much and are so involved in every decision, it feels much more democratic than our own projects, which we all dictate individually.

Why did you feel it was the right moment to produce your first album?

It just felt serendipitous. Orla was between albums, dodie had just released an EP, Martin was wrapping up his first album campaign. It logistically lined up and just felt like the right time in our lives to fuck shit up and try something completely different for a sec. I think the project itself and all of our individual projects can only ever benefit from that new perspective.

Can you discuss your journey with The Secret To Life album? what inspired it, what were the highlights and what were the challenges? 

Truly, there were very minimal challenges. It was a complete inverting of our usual way of working. No ego, no cerebral overthinking about how it was gonna be perceived; it was just total joy and escapism. We’re all so proud we managed to follow through on that intention. I guess it’s been hard at times navigating business and pleasure but again it all just boils down to trust and communication and we’ve got so good at that now.

What are each of you most excited about going on this tour? 

All of it: the singing, the costumes and the energy. The campaign has felt largely online so far but nothing compares to that sense of community you get being in a room of like-minded people having a daft old time, singing, dancing and celebrating life. We’re all gassed for that. Orla always says you top and tail campaigns with the fun stuff, the tour feels like the reward for all the hard work.

Aside from your tour, what will you be working on the next few months?

We’ve already started writing for whatever’s next, we can’t help it. Orla is prepping for her next release, we’re all working on various bits and pieces, but we’re all open to being reactive with FIZZ too. It’s all completely unknown and out of our control so we’re doing our best to prepare for absolutely anything!

Where do you hope FIZZ will be 2 years from now? 

On holiday.

Do you have a collective dream as a band? 

Honestly, no. The band is the dream, everything else is a bonus!

[cdevroe]

How to fix the web

Robin Rendle published Why are websites embarrasing? wherein he laments the state of design and accessibility on the web. But, he's hopeful.

"I do truly believe that a website can be as well designed as any book, just as thoughtful, just as brilliant."

I sympathize with Robin. The web, especially the news web, is a morass of user hostile ads, pop-ups, notifications and autoplay videos. Yuck!

However, I think Robin is incorrect on where to place the blame. The blame isn't likely on some web professional making design decisions based on the number of readers it would impact. The blame is on the advertisers. The only thing powering the mainstream published web from local news outlets to enormous media conglamorates is advertising. Without advertising 99.9% of this part of the web disappears.

If advertisers were to band together and say "We will only buy ad spots on websites that are fast, accessible, and have lovely reading experiences" the web would fix itself in a hurry.

This will never happen of course.

Most advertisers have no idea where their ads are being shown on the web. Yes, they have extremely detailed analytics but a large percentage of those data are lies. I can prove it. Go to any local news website in the US (I don't know about the rest of the world, but it is likely the same) and browse around a little. A keen eye will see that there are ads loading all over the place - way down in the footer, in the middle of an article, after the story content and even after the comments section. You'll also see loads of ads bunched up in sidebars. Who sees these ads? No one. But, people are paying for those ad "impressions" even if the reader never scrolls to the point they are visible.

Unsuspecting small business owners trying to show ads for their lawn cutting businesses in a big city suburb by purchasing display ads on the most popular local news outlet are likely being swindled for greater than half of those impressions. They would be far better off buying a few yard signs. The local news outlet may boast: "We displayed your ad over 10,000 times this month." No. They didn't. They loaded the ad 10,000 times and only 12 actual readers saw the ad.

The incentives in web publishing are upside down. For publishers the people's pageviews are the product and the advertiser is the customer. If you flipped that and made the reader the customer the news web would change.

Some websites actually try to do this and have had some success.

Over a decade ago The Boston Globe redesigned their website with the help of talented, thoughtful folk like Ethan Marcotte. Ethan wrote about the launch of that responsive redesign at the time.

In that post Ethan was downright giddy in his descriptions of the process, the people he worked with, and the results. And, even today, when I visited The Boston Globe's website, no doubt having changed a lot since that release, it is still pretty good compared to so many other sites on the news web.

A more contemporary example that I can think of off the top of my mind is The Verge. I loaded The Verge's website this morning and I had zero pop-ups, the page loaded quickly, and while there are ads they are clearly placed. One niggle I have with The Verge is that they are loading "sponsored content" ads from Outbrain. These ads are revolting. I can only imagine The Verge team are able to buy yachts in payment to load those vomitous ads on their otherwise very lovely website.

But Robin isn't looking for "pretty good" or "somewhat better than terrible websites". He wants a good reading experience, loaded quickly. I get it.

I deplore the state of so much of the web where advertisers reign supreme and even the most thoughtful and caring people throw away their principles in order to stay in business. But I'm also a realist and I understand that without advertising so much of the stuff I find useful, entertaining, and valuable on the web simply wouldn't exist.

[gingerlanier]

Book Review: This Book is Gay by Juno Dawson

This Book is Gay by Juno Dawson

Genre (or “category” from the requirements list):

            This book is from the Banned or Challenged book category.

Target Age Group:

            The target age group is grades 9-12, ages 14 and up (LVCCLD library catalog).  

Summary:

 ��          With humor, personal insight and some science, Juno Dawson has created a handbook for young people wanting to explore their identity and sexuality.  

Justification:

I chose this book from a list of banned books because it has been challenged so many times. It is an important book in youth literature and should be read by everyone: gay, straight, or any other identity.

Evaluation:

For this review, I will be evaluating content or theme, language, and accuracy.

The content of this book is of extreme relevance and importance to young adults who are still discovering who they are. The author Juno Dawson calls it an instruction manual on identity and sexuality and I have to agree- it lays everything out and explains many things that young people are possibly afraid to ask. Dawson’s humor gives the book a unique spin so it doesn’t read like a boring encyclopedia. It’s definitely her take on the issues of identity, but that’s what’s charming and likable about it. It’s a quick read because it flows so fast. I’m sure I’m in the majority when I look at this book and lament that I didn’t have anything like it when I was a young adult! I can say that about a lot of YA books though, and ultimately that’s a good thing- it means we’re making progress in the right direction. The illustrations are funny and disarming, and make the topic of the book less intimidating.

The straightforward language Dawson uses to explain some otherwise complicated concepts is refreshing. She has a knack for breaking down complex ideas to their roots and they seem suddenly simple. This is where this book ultimately succeeds- she knows her audience is going to be young people searching for answers and clarity, and making the book accessible to the young adult population has been what’s kept this book circulating again and again. Dawson’s voice is authentic, and she adds her personal experience with being a trans woman. This also makes the book welcoming, as if she is assuring any young adult seeking confirmation or acceptance.

This book is presented accurately, without bias as much as it can be. The author’s personal opinions and experiences are peppered throughout, but that doesn’t take away from the quality of the work. It is not an unbiased dictionary or medical tome, but it poses a lot of questions and answers some, and leaves room for readers to explore more if they want.

Do I wish I had been able to read this book when I was a questioning teen? Desperately. Am I glad this book exists now, even if I didn’t have it when I was young? Yes!

Format

I began reading this book digitally before I received the physical copy, and I am glad I did so. I was able to compare and contrast the reading experience. Not only was I surprised at how little the book appeared when I received the physical copy (for some reason I imagined it to be this giant, almost larger than life volume- maybe because of the importance of the content) but I also was able to see and appreciate the illustrations. There was no option on the digital copy to enlarge the image but with the physical book the illustrations were clearer. I did, however, notice that when I was reading the physical book, I was more comfortable with the idea that if someone came up behind me at work I could easily flip to another page, whereas with the digital version up on the monitor screen (I was reading it in the browser) I felt very vulnerable and afraid that someone was going to “call me out” for reading it! It made me realize that format can affect a reader’s energy and stress levels. A book like this could benefit from having an alternate cover, one that isn’t so brash and loudly displaying the pride flag so young people could read it without advertising to the world (or a disapproving parent) what they’re reading.

References:

Dawson, J. (2015). This Book is Gay (S. Gerrell, Illus.). Sourcebooks Fire.