#IM SUPPOSED TO BE RESPONDING TO A LOT MORE ASKS BUT. im feeling very lazy. đ hopefully i get through this phase soon
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Note
im like 3 sauces tall... i love to imagine dottore being a lil bit of a tease about it... like he puts things a bit higher than you can reach so you have to ask him or a segment for help... and then you'll be doing something, like talking to an agent and then a segment will just waltz over and pick you up like you're a long cat and walk off cause its time for ur meds. IDK im delulu.... If only there was a doctor that could help teehee - đ
NO DOTTORE AND THE SEGMENTS TOTALLY BULLY YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR HEIGHT!! It's so annoying,, it's so obvious that they're doing it on purpose too... because why are the lower shelves nearly bare and all the other things are on the top ones...? And why have all the chairs magically disappeared from the room...? They're so smug about it, you kind of want to punch them (lovingly) to be honest. It's okay though. At least your height makes it easy for them to rest their head on top of yours, they like doing that and peeping into what you're doing (nosy mfs). Hell, even if you're taller than him, he'll still find a way to tease you. He'll still put the stuff up very high... so every time he has to bother you and watch as you reach up for him, all with a smirk on his face... (as if he can't reach it himself, the man with the strength of Gods...)
OMG THEM PICKING YOU UP LIKE A LONG CAT... just you watching how far the floor is from you whenever this happens. đ Gosh they abuse the height difference so much, it's criminal. But it's so cute when you wear their clothes though, it droops so much!! >.< They love seeing you in them!!
#smooches talks#đ anon#dottore love notes <3#eats him!! bites him!!#i luv ur asks. theyre relaxing to respond to#IM SUPPOSED TO BE RESPONDING TO A LOT MORE ASKS BUT. im feeling very lazy. đ hopefully i get through this phase soon#but moving back i have always been the short friend. đ i am so tiny i just want to be smothered with all the dottores
102 notes
·
View notes
Text
Diary Entry 09152024
Dear Diary,
I am so grateful to have the partner that I have. I didn't realize he was all I asked for until we had the conversation we had on friday night. I remember writing so much about wanting to be with someone who would not hold me back from being the person I wanted to be, and that is exactly what I got, I just was being too much of a brat to see it before. I remember begging the universe to be seen, and heard and received and also to bring someone into my life that would not dim my shine, but encourage me to enhance it. And that is exactly what I got.
So, Friday after getting a lot more drunk than I intended we started talking about how we feel, not only about each other but our selves and he basically told me that I have the room and the space to be me and do exactly what I want; exactly what I needed to hear, exactly what i wanted. It was also a very necessary reminder because I become so deeply invested into my partner that I forget about the things I want to accomplish on my own. And he asked me if there were things I felt like I stopped doing because of him, and I was like yes of course there are so many pieces of myself that I let go because Im with you; there a lot of self care things I wouldn't do because all of my time went to you, and I didn't mind giving it up. But all those things that I did give up, I need. I need it in order to be myself, I need it in order to continue to show up for us.
I still have my work out routine / goal that I would like to continue to pursue. I still want to be out of this house by.. it's looking like I got 2 more years of this, but I would to travel more and hang out with my friends more like I used to. I want to do the dinner plans, the solo dates / trips. I need to continue to do those things for myself and continue to remind myself that he is not my life, just the person I want to share it with. But how can I do that if I have nothing to share. Either way the conversation that we had was honestly really good and I am just super grateful to be with him. I am so grateful that the stars aligned for us.
I don't know if I wrote about this the last time I journaled but I wrote my family a really long message (that no one responded to) and I think I'm going to have to up the ante, which sucks because I hate being the family manager. But clearly my familial concerns have not been taken into consideration. I'll just put it like this, there is too much happening in this house outside of human beings. (rats, fruit flies, regular flies, etc.) I have been begging my family to fix this clutter our for us to get together to get this shit together because why are the mice eating up food they don't buy and overall just having a fucking party at night when we got to bed. I do not like that, I do not like seeing them, I do not like living in a fucking pig pen. Im tired of my family not giving a fuck and being so complacent. People are not supposed to live like this, and I would love to live in a mice free, roach free home and I don't feel like thats a hard thing to ask for, but we MUST get rid of their hiding spaces before we can truly eradicate them from out fucking house or they will always be here.
Moving on, my job is starting to get more intense, and I am really trying to avoid gaining bad rapport with one of my AEs. I just - every day I am doing something new, which is what I wanted but I also think I think to much, I think too hard. It starts to fuck me up. I need to update my notes and be more confident in the things that I do. Until then, I should be fine. I just need to stop actually being so fucking lazy.
To wrap up, I kinda just need to remember who the priority is. (it's me btw, if you wanted to know). I feel like I've been saying this for the longest time "I need to get back to myself" but instead of saying this and this and that, I should just fucking do it. I need to become a doer. I shouldn't let the small things that bother me, bother me. I need to remember who I am and what I am capable of, and I'm very capable of getting everything I want. I need to remember my purpose, which is to love, and I need to remember that the first person I need to practice my purpose with is me.
#journaling#secret journal#secret diary#online diary#dear diary#journal#love#2024#my purpose#having purpose#life update#life goes on#remember who you are#growth#adulting#adulthood#ya#young adult#post grad life#post grad problems
2 notes
·
View notes
Note
âSometimes I RP her working at 7/11â ok you canât just say that I need to know more.
Im not doing it right now because I have to focus on my studies and I want to do other things. It's nothing too special, there's this roblox roleplay game called Zaibatsu and I just rped her in either the coffee shop or the 7/11, working there. My crack idea was after dieing to Erlking Heathcliff, she gets isekaied and needs to find a job because she's effectively homeless so she has forged documents so she can apply to places to get her foot in the door.
If you also see Chief Butler Ryoshu working at The Dinner or somewhere in Skies Over Milwaukee, or Helix Ascent, that's probably me. I've tried to rp Cheif Butler Outis too but it doesn't have the same omph or vibe. Sometimes when I rp Outis, I fear I'm putting Ryoshu's traits into her. Also, i just have less fun playing Cheif Butler Outis. I'm better doing Base Identity Outis.
The rest of this is yapping about roleplay. Thanks for the ask!
In roblox, you get weird people trying to get with her due to the fact she's a maid. I don't like those people, esspically the ones who take threats of violence against them as 'hot'. I try my best to be as blunt to them as possible. I'm a freak but I keep that to my tumblr, keep that in mind. Another downside of rping her or any Project Moon character on roblox is having to sanatize them because of the filter. I can't say I'm getting any real practice with her honestly. I do love trying to play her though. I'm not great doing her, esspically her SANGRIAS on the fly but its neat. I also have a crack spiderman ryoshu au I've wanted to rp and test out but I can't find anyone (or im shy. or lazy. maybe all three.)
Rps on roblox aren't good but I revel in how insane some people can be. I also feel visually stimulated seeing the builds and everyone walking around with their avatars and props, it gives me a sense of joy seeing the creations. Plus, anyone can easily jump in and jump out, and its expected most rps are short term unless you got friends to organize an rp with. I dunno, my nature likes it.
I can't rp on roblox too much because rp in general is like crack for me once I start going. I love rping still, im just terrified of ghosting people because that's my bad habit. I already have multiple rps I have not responded to in months on discord and two I have yet to organize with people I said "I want to roleplay with you." I don't mean it to be rude and I do my best to tell my partners straight up the risk that I will ghost you. But I still love doing it, I love writing though it takes a lot of effort. For good reason, because all creative persuits should hold a meaning to the artist and its a form of expression. Experssion also takes effort that I don't have 100% of all the time. Dang ADHD and Autism also effecting my head.
I would love to yap more about it I suppose but I've gone so long conditioning myself not to talk about rp. Plus, I get scared re-reading my rps. Also, I find myself getting too emotional with things that happen in rp and as good as that emotional vunrability is, I'm terrified of it. It's very easy to get lost in, its one of the reasons I haven't been responding to my rps. But it's supposed to be safe place to express everything, I just don't know.
Obligatory, I make no promises (I mostly make no promises at all because I struggle to keep them) of keeping my rps with anyone, they may not even start or even if they start, i might ghost you or dissapoint, but I'd love talking about and attempting at least. I got ocs, i've rped Outis, Meursault, and Ryoshu. I really love crossovers. I have a bad case of "I see something new and shiny and I feel impulsive so I persue that and then posibly lose intrest in what I was doing before but the old thing will constantly haunt me so then I get anxiety and never come back." and I think that's how I explain that.
0 notes
Text
cute relationship things with ateez!
genre: fluff (a lot)
warnings: none :)
established relationship!
a/n: i meant to post this like two weeks ago but i never finished it so consider this an early valentineâs day gift <3 ;)Â
seonghwa:
for some reason, i feel like seonghwa likes to read books
with that being said, on lazy days where you guys didnât want to get up and do anything
you guys would read books !!!
before you guys would read some were recommendations from each other on your own
and then maybe rant to each other over little details about the book like how the main character went back to their toxic ex or how the ending of a book was so bad
âseonghwa, how did you even read this?!? the stupid ass main character keeps going back to that one jerk! like does she not realize she deserves more than his ugly ass???!!!?â
ây/n, just keep reading.âÂ
âbut hwa-â
turns out the main character got with the other woman yayyyyy!!! fuck shitty men
i donât know how it happened but you guys started your own little book club with each other
so you guys could finally talk rant together at the same time about the book
so since you guys started to read the same book and if you guys found down time together you would read together
like, imagine itâs a peaceful friday night
seonghwa is back from work and so are you
you guys already showered and ate dinner
youâre just reading and then seonghwa just scoops you up and then puts you in between his legs with your back against his chest
and youâre like âwtf bro?â
and heâs just like, âwhat? i wanna read too???â
âdidnât you like read ahead tho??â
âyeah, but i wanna read it again.â
that was a fatass lie
he just wanted to be close to youÂ
hongjoong:
ok so, we all know that this man is hella busy all the time
mans is the leader, song writer, producer, dancer, rapper (which is why he is good at all positions)
but you were patient with him and whenever he goes days without seeing you due to his busy ass schedule he would make it up to you yk what i mean
but on the more chill days when you saw hongjoong or even the days where he was cooped in his studio (you would visit him there because sometimes you just had to see him)
you guys would just lay on the couch, just enjoying each otherâs presence and not feel like you have to make up for lost time
you would be on the bottom on your phone or reading a magazine/book
then hongjoong would be at the top with his head on your stomach as he would be writing down lyrics that came to mind
killing two birds with one stone you feel me
sometimes you would show him a funny meme that you found or quote something that you just read to himÂ
âhongjoong, look at the way he fell!â you would be dying of laughter
and then he wouldnât notice because he was really roped into making lyricsÂ
but you also didnât see him focusing so much because you were of course laughing at the kid that accidentally got bitchslapped off the couch because of their sibling
âjoongie look!!!â
âwhat is it?â
you would then show him what happened and then he would look at with that âyou really interrupted me for this??â type of look
âi just lost my train of thought for this song because you wanted to show me this kid falling off of a couch???âÂ
âyes?âÂ
he would just bring a hand to his face and think what tf? why tf? and then slowly start laughing because of what just happened
âsee, wasnât it funny?â
âa child getting hurt isnât funny, y/nâ he would laugh while scolding you
yunho:
yunho powers im sorry for this one
alright so, itâs night timeÂ
you guys are about to go to bed after a long day or work/school whatever
your eyes are fluttering closed because the day got you beat beat
but then yunho just kisses your face
and then you open your eyes slowly again to see yunho look like he just got caught doing something he wasnât supposed to do
like imagine a kid that just got caught drawing on the walls
thatâs what his face would look like
heâs just laying there like âi thought you were asleep...â
âi was just about to...â
yunho feels lowkey guilty now because youâre awake now and he knows you had a long day
he just couldnât resist kissing youÂ
you just looked so pretty and peaceful sleepingÂ
mans was reminded by the universe themself about how lucky he was being able to date you
like, godamn what did he do in his past life to deserve you?
ok, back to this reaction idea thing-
yunho would apologize for waking you up with his cheeks a nice rosy color
you just look at him with tired eyesÂ
âiâll forgive you, if you give me more kisses.â
and yunhoâs smile just lights up the whole damn room and heâs like oh? say less
so he goes to kissing your face
like all over
your nose
your cheeks
forehead
basically anywhere ok?
and you end up laughing because it ticklesÂ
but you just want him to kiss your lips which he doesÂ
... eventually lmao
but when he does your still laughing which causes him to laugh
he tells you âi love you, did you know that?â
and you get all flustered and shit but you still keep that playful energy aroundÂ
âi love you too, but you arenât forgiven just yetâ
which leads to more kisses :))))
yeosang:
ok so youâre now the busy one
yeosang has so much respect for you because holy shit how do you balance that busy ass schedule of yours
your homework loads were no jokesÂ
then to add to that you have a job which was even more stressful
it was amazing how you can manage all that and still keep a smile on your face
you also had major respect for yeosang as an idol
the industry was not a place to fuck aroundÂ
you couldnât be happier that your boyfriend was lucky enough to have a group who actually cared and supported each other
speaking of ateez, yeosang isnât the most touchy person in the world
you didnât mind of course, youâre the same way
however, when he did give you cuddles and kisses you would be a blushing mess
a sort of rare sight that yeosang loved to see
anyways, one night you were busy writing those argumentative essays that you were sure that your fingers would fall off by the time you were finished
you were working on it ever since you got home from school (with the occasional food and bathroom breaks )to the time when yeosang came back from practice
you moved to your shared bed by the time the sweaty boy came home and he was surprised that you were working on one subject for so long
the stupid piece was almost finished by the time yeosang was out of the shower
however, you didnât even notice
you were too immersed in your writing to notice
yeosang took this as an opportunity to sit behind you and wrap his arms around your waist and watch over your shoulder as you worked
and of course, he would kiss your cheek occasionally
this was super sweet gesture but yeosang but you didnât the notice that he wrapped his arms around you
âai yah! what the hell?â you yelled and turned around to see your boyfriend clutching his chest
âoh itâs just you.â
yeosang would give you a deadpanned look and be like, âyeah, who else tf???â
you would apologize and kissing his cheek before returning to back to workÂ
which yeosang would return to hugging your waist and keep his head on your shoulder
and give you occasional kisses on your cheek or neck
after that night, it became a weekly occurrence
which you loved of course, who wouldnât love their bf cuddling them while they chased their bag
san:
i am very excited for this one
ok so, san loves playing with your hair
itâs just so much funÂ
running his fingers through it or just attempting to braid it or put it into a tiny ponytail
he loved it
he would probably always play with your while you were watching tv together, sitting together in the car, or even before you guys fall asleep
then one day after san came home early from workÂ
you guys were chilling on the bed watching the latest k-drama that came out since san made you wait so you guys could watch it together
san was in between your legs with his back leaning against your chestÂ
and thatâs when you decided to run your fingers through his soft, fluffy hair
thatâs also when san asked you to braid his hair
âsure, what type of braid though?â
âthereâs different kinds????âÂ
âyes, san. now pick one.â you gave him your phone that was pulled up to different types braids.
âi want the french ones. they sound fancy.â
you roll your eyes and start sectioning his hair into two sections and start braiding his hair and lightly pull on the pink strands because you know san likes his hair pulled
so you doing his hair rightÂ
and you begin rambling about your day/week
talking about whatever interesting happened to you because you know that san likes hearing you talk no matter what itâs about
however, you were knee deep into talking about the latest drama at work that you didnât even realize that san stopped talking
âsan?â
he didnât answer and his head would be dipping down so low you were surprised you didnât fall over
âbaby?â
san still wouldnât respond to youÂ
but this time he just flipped over so his head would be on your stomach as he wrapped your arms around your stomach
âmmmmmmm?â
ânevermind love, just sleep.âÂ
he would respond by burying his head further into your stomach and tightened his hold around you
you kissed his head and ran your fingers through his hair which lulled san to sleep even more
âgoodnight sannie.â
mingi:
you have been best friends with song mingi ever since you moved into the tiny neighborhood that you call home
it all started when your parents brought you over to your next door neighborâs house for breakfast on a cold saturday morningÂ
you were extremely shy when you were little so the only thing you could remember about your first experience with mingi was hiding behind your motherâs leg for the first hour of being there and watching the young boy play with his toy cars and planes before he finally offered a pirate ship to you
ever since that unforgettable saturday, you pretty much spent the rest of your childhood with mingi
you guys were practically joined at the hipÂ
even when you were getting endlessly teased by your classmates for the first month of school for having an accent whenever you spokeÂ
which resulted in you running to the bathroom crying
not even a minute later, you heard someone burst through the girlsâ bathrrom
ây/n?â
you peaked your head out of the stall to see your tall neighbor looking out of breath
âmingi, you arenât supposed to be here!â you said in between sobs
âitâs okay, i donât care.â he said as he awkwardly wrapped his arms around you. âare you okay?â
you shook your head no looking at him with tears running down your face
the poor boy was internally freaking out since he has no clue on how to comfort people (especially if theyâre a girl)
he was like eight at the time give him a little break
so of course, his first reaction was to make you laugh somehow
and he did this by randomly recreating the âboots and cats, boots and catsâ rhythm after seeing siri do it in a youtube video and started to bop his headÂ
surprised by his sudden movements, you laughed out of pure confusion
as soon as mingi saw the corner of your lips flip upwards he began rapping faster to the point where he was gasping for breath leading him into a coughing fitÂ
âmingi you can breathe, yâknow!â you giggled in between words
after the young boy had caught his breath from hacking away at his lungs, he smiled at youÂ
until- the teacher had came into the bathroom, scolding mingi for going into the girlsâ restroom
even though mingi didnât care at all that he got in trouble, the only thing he cared about was that you were feeling better
ever since then whenever you were sad or having a bad day mingi would whip out his phone and ask siri to rap while he free-styled over the monotone voiceÂ
he literally still does it
even two years into your relationship-
âsiri, can you rap for me?â mingi would ask his phone as he pointed his free arm at you
âboots and cats-â
âmingi, please no.â you laughed in between tears, your mood rising with every beat
wooyoung:
i wholeheartedly believe that wooyoung would kiss you face if you were sad
but the first time this happened, you guys were still fairly new into your relationship
which meant that you werenât completely ready to be extremely vulnerable around wooyoungÂ
because in your mind, letting someone see you at your lowest lows of means that you really trust and love someone to let them see you like that
you always wanted to be known as the strong person in the friend group
you were that glue that held everyone together
always listening to others and taking care of others before yourself
which is why wooyoung fell in love with you in the first place
he had never been in a relationship where someone was so caring and thoughtful of others that he was scared that he wouldnât be enough for you and that you deserved better
of course, he didnât tell you that right away but he confessed to you about that wayyy later in your relationship which is another story to be told
but one day, life was coming at you so fucking fast
assignments were piling up left and right and deadlines were literally every other day
and then there seemed to be an increase in the amount of angry karens at your work
and your patience was thinning everyday with those people
then to top it all off, all the tests youâve been studying for, you got mediocre grades, some even worse in other subjects
it just felt like no matter how much work you put into whatever you do, you got half ass results
it was just pushing your mental health further into the ground
you could handle a C every once in awhile but multiple? on back to back tests? no fucking way you just couldnât
those stupid, dark thoughts would cloud your mind in an instant and on days like this, you would just let them consume you
you were too tired to pick yourself up again and fight back which led to you crying in wooyoungâs arms
usually, you would feel so embarrassed crying over things like this when you know other people have it worse but you couldnât hold in it anymoreÂ
you ranted about yourself in between your hiccups from crying which would hurt wooyoungâs heart a little bit
because he thought of you as such a strong and kind person- the complete opposite of what you were saying about yourself
so when you were done talking, wooyoung made you look at him and assured you that you were not any of those nasty things that you said about yourself
each insult turned into a thoughtful compliment accompanied by a kiss
ây/n, you are so intelligent-âÂ
kiss
âcaring-â
kiss
âbeautiful-â
kiss
âmore than everything i ever wantedâ
kiss
by the time wooyoung was done, you were a giggling mess
âand this is why i love you.â
he finally kissed you on your lips, smiling into it like the dork he is
it was the first ever time he told you that he loved you
jongho:
i am also a firm believer that jongho would sing his s/o to sleep
like with that heavenly voice of his, he better put them to sleepÂ
so on the first night you ever slept with jongho, you were too nervous to go to bed even though your body was screaming at you to close your eyesÂ
you kept tossing and turning every few minutes or your eyes would shoot open with your heart racing
at this point, you gave up on trying to sleep and got up (carefully to not wake up your sleeping boyfriend) to get a drink
while you were in the kitchen, clutching your chest in an effort to get yourself to calm down, jongho had stirred awake to an empty bed
a flash of panic surged through his body as he momentarily forgot where he was since he wasnât at his dorm his room never looked this cleanÂ
yawning, the vocalist would wander into the light with his eyes squinted, ây/n?â
âoh my god!â you jumped, water almost spilling out your glass
jongho covered his ears, âwhat are you doing up?â
âoh,â you felt your cheeks turn red since you felt bad for waking your boyfriend up. âi canât sleep.â
âwhy?â he asked, walking towards the couch.
âi donât know.â you answered as you followed close behind.Â
you curled up next to jongho, clutching his shirt âiâm sorry for waking you up.â
jongho smiled tiredly at you before kissing your head, âdonât be. itâs okay. i donât have work tomorrow anyways.â
you smiled in response before the two of you guys fell into a silence
âdo you want me to sing you to sleep?â
âyes, please.â you murmured into his side as jongho placed his other arm around you, successfully trapping you in between his arms
he began singing softly into your ear as he stroked your hair
his warm voice coaxing your eyes to closeÂ
at last, your mind was at peace with itself
your heart beat slowing down
and by the time the song was finished you were fast asleep in arms
jongho kissed your forehead once moreÂ
âi love you.â
#ateez fluff#ateez reaction#ateez reactions#ateez scenarios#park seonghwa#kim hongjoong#jeong yunho#kang yeosang#choi san#jung wooyoung#song mingi#choi jongho#park seonghwa fluff#park seonghwa imagine#park seonghwa reaction#kim hongjoong imagines#kim hongjoong fluff#kim hongjoong reaction#jeong yunho fluff#jeong yunho reaction#jeong yunho imagine#kang yeosang fluff#kang yeosang reaction#kang yeosang imagine#choi san fluff#choi san reaction#choi san imagine#song mingi reaction#song mingi fluff#song mingi imagines
591 notes
·
View notes
Text
Clubs Arenât My Thing. (2/2) (18+)
đšđđđđđ'đ đ”đđđ | woooo, part 2 ! as stated previously, this is heavily inspired by @/mystic-sky on tumblr or skyfelt on ao3. amazing writer, check her out (but this isnât a direct copy, just same storyline in a way). iâm cleaning up my writing a lot, i think. maybe im getting better as well? probably not but uh i kinda gave up at the end and uh.. hope u enjoy.
đŸđđđđđđđ | Voyeurism To Some Degree, Teasing, Ripped Tights, I didnât proof read. đ·đđđđđđ | Dom! Gojo x Sub! Female Reader
đŸđđđ
đȘđđđđ | 4561
đșđđđđđđ | In which you finally get fucked by this mysterious, yet freakishly handsome stranger. Thatâs it, you just get fucked.
    The first thing you realize is how cold it is.   The wind is working against you, it seems, as you take your first step out of the warm building. Hair blows in every direction, you button up your cardigan, your breath coming out in puffs of smoke. Shivers went down your spine.   Not too far behind you, the mysterious man that you had met just an hour ago trailed behind, winking and waving at the girls confidently using him as eye-candy. Long strides, hands shoved into his pockets.   Your heart swells as you watch other woman stare flirtatiously as he gestured back at them, before their eyes set on you. He followed you like a duckling, and youâre sure to relish in how powerful it made you feel.   He walked like a model, with so much confidence. He didnât appear as cold, his cheeks were flush and he reeked of fruity sugary alcohol, a playful grin still stubbornly on his face, 5 minutes later.   âUber should be coming soon... I think, too lazy to check. You cold?â he slurred huskily.   You nod. For a one night stand, he was strangely kind to you.   He doesnât say anything after that, so you opt to listen to the life around you. The clicking of high heels, the chatter, the drunken rants.   âAw, come here.â   He didnât give you much of a choice, though. Pulling you in to his chest, without warning. Your first instinct is to scream bloody murder, but heâs so warm, and you definitely need it.   One loose arm over your figure, his unoccupied arm dangled dangerously close to your butt. Taking in a deep breath, anticipating the feeling of being so scandalous in public, he chuckles breathily, almost like a taunt. You can feel the rumble in his chest as he cleared his throat.   You stare up at him, confused as to why youâre not feeling anything in your lower regions, before you realize what he was doing.   Rubbing your head with the once unoccupied hand, his fingers weaved into your hair as he sniffled. Something about the interaction was strangely intimate, but you donât dare to say a word.   You inhale sharply, rubbing your face into his chest. You want to get closer, deep in bliss as he seemed to return the want back. You want to close any remaining space between the two of you, but making the first move was scary.   He yawns, and this triggers you to yawn as well. It was probably well past 1 AM by now, and you were tired.   You couldnât hear much around you other then the honk of the growing sea of cars, some people just starting their night, and the others ending it.   âOh shit. Our Uberâs here.â he mutters under his breath, pushing you out of his chest gently.   Whining, you try to push yourself back into his arms, he takes a quick glance down at you, traces of a faint lukewarm smile playing upon his lips. Almost like heâs saying, âAre you kidding me right now?â before taking a hold of your hand.   Fingers intertwining as if they were meant to be together, you gawk down at your hands, before looking back up at him.   There were a few issues, one, you had no idea if this man had an intent to kidnap you. Second, you didnât know what the Uber looked like, and youâre too embarrassed to ask. Third, he was holding your hand with no hesitation, and the feeling in your chest was indescribable.   You canât tell what heâs thinking, but you hope that itâs something along the lines of what youâre thinking. Your eyes briefly flickering over his jawline as you pondered to yourself, but what you do know is that youâre being dragged towards the presumed Uber. Itâs sleek, and black, with a glossy finish, you note.   âYo chill, Iâm not gonna kidnap you, missy.â chuckling, examining your doubtful, yet frightened expression. He swung open the car door carelessly.   âAfter you, mâlady.â he adds, bowing and straightening, his chin up.   âThank you, Sir Mysterious.â you give him a small smile before sliding into the sleek, comfortable seats.   His eyebrow raised, he looked at you.   âThatâs a first.â   âItâs also a shit nickname, maybe thatâs why youâve never heard it.â you suggested.   âI like it. Has a nice ring to it.â a lukewarm smile played at his glossy lips.   The sly smile wipes clean off your face, he laughs at you while sliding into his designated seat, as if he owned the car.   Right. You were in a car, and it would be best for you to study your surroundings, just to make sure you werenât being kidnapped.   The car was obviously expensive, black leather reclining seats, and a sweet offering of warmth against the chill of the midnight air.   A coffee cup idly stood in the cup holder, the driver taking a quick sip and turning his body to look at you two. Air fresheners and various trinkets dangled from the rear-view mirror, swinging back and forth   âA couple, eh? You wanna go to this address?â   The driver whipped his phone out, an address in black, bold text stood out.   âYep.â the man says confidently.   Opening your mouth to speak, you try to inform the driver that he wasnât your boyfriend, before your supposed boyfriend covers your mouth with his hand as soon as the driver repositioned towards the steering wheel.   You realize that his other hand is on your thigh, stroking your skin.   This newfound position was at the very least, terrifying. There was another person in the vehicle, for starters, and you werenât exactly the quiet type when it came to, well, anything in general.   Cold, large calloused hands considerately caressed your thigh, and your breathing hitches. His other arm against his side, but you know his fingers are itching to feel you all over. You want to moan, but the driverâs presence is enough to tell you that it would be stupid.   Fingers drawing shapes, words, anything would repeatedly loop on the sensitive skin just barely. He was definitely teasing you, but you couldnât quite fight back.   âWhy donât you be a good girl and stay quiet for me?â he whispers, you anticipate the driver to look back at the two of you, and to throw both of you off the car, but he does no such thing.   Feebly, you raise your arm up, ignoring the flirtatious request. Swatting his hand away in a desperate attempt to get him to stop before it got out of hand, but heâs persistent.   Itâs getting even more difficult to breathe quietly now, your body getting hotter and hotter and hotter.   It doesnât take long for a noise to slip out from your lips that you canât quite shut up, and the driver turns to look at you.   âSo precious.â the white haired man mouths to you before quickly turning his head to look at the window, humming to himself, still caressing your thigh.   âMaâam? Are you okay?â   About to respond, the white haired man scooched closer to you. His clothed leg now rubbing your bare skin. He whistles innocently in the opposite direction before skimming his hand against your inner thigh, and you almost shriek.   Instead, you let out a pathetic gasp.   Panning his gaze over to you, he gives you a sly, playful smirk, before looking away again.   Drawing more shapes onto your skin, he hums. It was so hard to focus, or even remember the words the driver had said literally just a minute ago. You feel yourself shiver, almost losing yourself entirely to his hands before shakily responding to the driver, praying to any divine figure in the skies that you would be coherent.   âY-yeah. Just, spilled water on m-my clothes.â you reply, barely audible.   The driverâs eyes stared back at yours, concern etched onto his features, before sighing. Tension grew inside of you.   âAlright, if you need anything, just ask, okay maâam?â   Trying to respond, no sound comes out of your mouth, and the reason dawns on you. Taking a quick look down, the manâs digits were now fumbling with your panties, brushing against your wetness.   It takes a moment for you to register in your brain, you thank every entity possible for preventing the inevitable slew of noises youâd make. Waves of need crashing over your body. You hungrily stare at him, hoping that heâd be kind enough to stop and save it for later.   Circling your entrance through the now utterly soaked panties, he dips his finger in, just enough so you could feel the slight pressure against your sensitive skin.   Heâs fucking taunting you again.   Driver be damned, you needed him.   Opening your legs more, you confidently peer at him, inviting him to explore your body even more. His fingers are drumming against the leather surface, the other hand had retreated back to your thigh, boldly looking at you back.   âNo. I thought you didnât want to, whatâs with the change of thought?â he mouths, stifling a chuckle and a smug tone, already knowing what you were going to ask.  Bewildered, you gape at him before shaking your head curtly, making sure youâre staring daggers at his stupidly arrogant face.   âStop fucking playing with me then!â   âYouâre too cute.â   âFine then.â closing your legs, you stare out the window, your chin sitting on the palm of your hand. Flickering blurry lights passing by quickly. Looking at your reflection, you steal a quick glance at the flirtatious bastard.   âIf youâre so angry, why canât you look away from me for 1 second?â he whispers proudly.   You canât think of a snarky remark, so you huff and look back at the window defeatedly.   What a cocky arrogant little-   Your bruised pride burning into ashes, you grunt in response before the car abruptly halts to its stop.   Were you two too loud?   âWhat are you two so scared for? Freezing up like a deer in headlights, weâre at your destination.â the driver said, twisting his head around, his eyebrow slightly raised.   âOh, yeah, thanks.â   That was way too close to comfort, and youâre resisting the urge of banging on his chest for being so overly confident in his endeavors. You open the car door, cursing under your breath, swinging your legs out and lightly stepping out.   First thing you realize in the new destination? This guy was obviously loaded.   In front of you were a bunch of condos, and it was bound to cost a lot. Modern architecture was all you could see, wide windows and balconies in every corner. Suddenly, youâre self conscious about your outfit, were you too poorly dressed?   The man hums, placing his hand on your shoulder. Plant life was meticulously placed in such a beautiful manner that you promise yourself that you would search up his name- if you ever got it, on the Forbes lists.   âLike what you see?â   Snapping out of it, you look back at him, and you nod, still astounded by his presumed riches.   âYeah? Lets go up missy, I got more to show, in more ways then one.â â§âËâ©ćœĄ.       Standing in front of his door, you realize how quiet and still the atmosphere is. He fumbles with his keys, muttering to himself, and you canât help but wonder if youâre about to have sex with some celebrity.   Not knowing how to start conversation, you clear your throat.   âYou ever going to tell me your name?â   âAw, the little baby still wants my name.â he cooed   âCall me Gojo.â he adds nonchalantly.   â(Y/N).â you reply, ecstatic. That wasnât too hard, but you wonder why he didnât just give up his name to you at the club earlier. Perhaps he didnât think he was going to take you back?   âAw, sugar. You scared?â Gojo says, looking you up and down. Well, thatâs what you assumed. He still had his glasses on.   âNo Iâm not, who said that?â   âLook at your legs, missy.â he cheekily replies.   Looking down, you realize youâre violently shaking, and you didnât even realize it.   â...Maybe.â you say coyly.   He breathily chuckles, finally opening the door with the right key.   Youâre surprised by the presence of such a spotless place, a large, plush black leather couch was in one corner, the other, an island. Amazingly large windows replaced what would usually be the walls, and you could see the extent of the city life from where youâre standing.    âSlip your shoes off girly, sandals on the left. Can I offer you something?â Gojo questions you, walking over to the island.   â...Iâm not much of a drinker.â you reply, still standing in the doorway. You were honestly more interested in him then the small talk.   âBaby, sit down. Donât you wanna see me up close?â he pats the cushioned island seats, and you sheepishly walk over.   âI have apple juice too. If thatâs more your vibe.â you watched him swirl some melting ice cubes around in a glass of water with a spoon.   âIâm not 12.â you retort, maybe the guy wasnât a celebrity. No famous guy has apple juice in the fridge, rather then fancy champagne and wine.   Gojo snickers, âHey, Iâm not 12 either, Iâm nearing my fucking 30âČs but I can never reject a good box of apple juice, plus, I teach a group of kiddos that drink this shit like itâs fine wine.â   You pause, this guy was NEAR 30? He certainly didnât look the age, and second of all, he bought apple juice just for the kids he taught? That was surprisingly sweet, but that didnât explain the richness.   âYouâre a teacher?â you nod as he hands you a chilled box of apple juice.   âUh, yeah.â he scratches the back of his neck. âInternational Japanese teacher, sometimes I just teach in Japan as well. It pays good.â   âNo way you actually live here. Is this your friends place?â   He laughs loudly, âSo backhanded, and sassy! Nah, this is my place. As I said, job pays well. Feel free to stop by for a good fucking.â he says whilst pouring liquor into his glass cup.   âYouâre really confident in your abilities of fucking people.â you sarcastically note aloud as he slides into the comfortable tall stool next to you, drink in hand.   âHm, you werenât saying that when I was touching you in that car, brat. How strange.â sipping his beverage lightly.   Your mouth zipped shut, and he laughs again.   âAw, donât go all awkward on me.â his once vacant hand now rubbing your shoulder. Setting down his drink, taking off his glasses. He doesnât give you much time to admire his eyes, but what you can see is an almost aquamarine color, flecks of darker blue sprinkled throughout. So brilliantly colored it didnât look real.   Before you realize it, he leans closer into your neck, suckling your skin and lightly nibbling. His breath fanning over your delicate skin, you canât even hold back, gasping a little as his hands played with the hem of your cardigan, tugging at it playfully.   You canât even formulate words. He was undeniably good, his suckling now gradually getting more harsher and harsher, and you dread coming back to your friends place, neck full of hickeys, youâd be nudged for whoever did that to you for the rest of your life.   He grunts, standing up in the little space between what was his stool and yours, even on such a surprisingly tall stool he still towered over you. He has to slightly crouch before his eyes is at the level of your neck, hungrily crashing back down.    âG-Gojo!â you squeaked, struggling to do much of anything. Youâre limp on the stool, slumped and burning up. Your skin was ridiculously hot.   âHmmm?â he smiles into your neck, pausing momentarily, you can feel him exhale harshly on your skin. You look him up and down, the sexual tension between the two of you was prominent, and so was the tent in his pants.   You feel a whine creep up towards your throat, now realizing just how wet you are. Ignoring this, you gesture to your clothes. The layers were sticking to you, and you never wanted anything more then to just get the sex started.   â...Hot.â is all you can muster pathetically.   âWhat was, baby?â he coos at you.   âMe.â shrugging off your cardigan the best you can, you let out a subtle whine, the weird feeling growing between your legs.   âYes, we both know youâre hot.â tipping your chin upwards to look at him, he smiles. âuse your words.â   âClothes.. Off.â you pant, obviously sick and tired of the stupid sexual tension and the teasing.   âFull sentence, girly.â he repeats, stroking your cheek with his thumb.   You inhale his scent, smelling of expensive cologne and lingering sickeningly sweet alcohol. Looking up at him, but averting your gaze as soon as you saw those incredible eyes once again.   âLook at me.â he orders.   You peer up at him, swallowing.   âP-please, take my clothes off.â you say politely.   âAll it took was a few hickeys? You really are a pretty kitty.â he smiles, kissing your forehead. âGet down.â   You nod obediently, getting off the stool and looking back up at him, anticipating his next step.   He bends down, swooping you up bridal style. One arm under your legs, gripped firmly onto the skin, the other under your waist. Your arms instinctively and rather slackly around his shoulders.   You expect something, a kiss, anything, but all Gojo does is walk down an endless hallway full of doors.   You lean closer into him while pouting, hoping thatâll catch his attention, but he doesnât say a word.   âWhere are we going?â you finally ask, growing needy.   âBedroom. Iâm not fucking on the couch. Pretty princesses deserve to be nice and comfy.â he replies back, fidgeting with the door knob. For a few seconds, all you can hear is how rapidly your heart is beating inside your chest, the rustling of clothes brushing against one another, and then the feeling sets in again.   You could very well be fucking someone that was out of your league.   He breathes a sigh of relief, and before you have the time to fully study his bedroom, he throws you off of the bed with a grunt.   Gojoâs toned forearms by your side, you were obviously trapped. You can see his chain just dangle barely swing back and forth on the tip of your nose, his lips curled into a lukewarm smile.   âYou were so cheeky with me earlier, whereâd she go?â stroking the corner of your lips.   He doesnât give you the time to respond, instead locking lips with you and rolling over to be on your side. It starts off small and soft first, but it gradually grew hot. The fluttering in your chest only intensified. Tongues exploring every inch of one anotherâs mouth, you swear you can taste mint. The anxiety melted off of you like wax, and the only thing he could focus on was how soft you felt against his lips. Delightfully experienced enough for it to be good, but not better then him.   The smell of him was stronger now, and youâre sure you wonât be able to leave without some of it remaining on your clothes. Regardless, it was an addicting smell. Something you needed to come back to. Furiously exhaling through both of your noses, he finally lets go.   Dazed, your whole body tingles. You want him to claim you all as your own, hungrily staring at him for more. Both of you were radiating heat. The kissing left little for thought, and all you can think about is kissing him once again. It seemed that the more you spent with him, the more demand you had for his attention.   âSuch cute noises. Makes me want to ravish you more.â   Gojo tenderly pulls you in, claiming your mouth as his once again. Fumbling with your cardigan, yanking it off of your body. Large, hot hands brushing against your now semi-exposed skin, and you know he wants more. His hands brushed against your butt under your skirt, and you shiver just a bit.   Pulling out from the kiss, he looks at you, panting heavily.   âSo beautiful.â he murmurs, brushing his thumb against your swollen lips.   âYou wanna know why they call me the best?â   You nod, his arm snakes above your waist, forcefully flipping you down head first into the blankets.   Just now realizing that all your clothes are no where to be found, presumably on the floor, you shiver at the cold air conditioner blowing against you. That is, besides your skirts and your tights.   âOn your arms, baby. Knees too.â he instructs, patting your butt.   You obey, a warmth rushing to your cheeks again. He had you like a dog being trained by itâs owner, following their every order.   âGood girl.â he says under his breath.   Youâre about to tell him that youâre still wearing tights, about to open your mouth, you heard a loud rip disturb the peaceful atmosphere, and a cold exposure to your lower regions.   You squeal, digging your face into the covers, and he chuckles again.   âOh baby. You were begging for this, I can see why now.â you felt him drag his fingers against your panties, and you whimper.   âSo impatient for my touch, arenât you kitty? Youâll have to wait.â   About to complain, you look back at him before you find him shoving you down, sitting on your knees now, your nipples hardened in the air, but you want to be stimulated else where.   âBe patient, and youâll be rewarded, no complaining.â   âBut-â he cuts you off.   âDonât fucking talk over me, you got that?â   â...Yes sir.â   His eyes soften, and he gives you a soft kiss on the forehead before his hands brushed against your nipples, rubbing them with his thumb. Rolling the sensitive bud, you loudly moan, trying to express that you wanted more.   âGod, youâre so cute.â he says under his breath, still rubbing and now slightly pulling them. Placing his mouth upon the abused buds, you stifle a cry out.   Gently suckling, he used his other hand to play with the other attention-starved nipple mildly.   You whine out again, beginning to melt under his stupidly experienced hands and mouth. The attention was nice, but you needed it some place else, his eyes looked up at you, his wet mouth still suckling your breast.   Taking his wet mouth off your nipple, he looked at you, mischief still evident on his face.   âYou like that?â he says, cocking his head to his side.   âI-If I say anything, Itâll fill your stupid ego.â you breathed.   âAnd if you donât say anything Iâm not doing shit.â his hand now rubbing your butt.   âYou ripped my tights!â you spat back.   âIâll pay for it and more, no bother babygirl. Now tell me what I want to hear.â   He obviously wasnât lying, he could probably turn any girl into putty if he just wanted to, and here you were, in the palm of his hand.   â...Please touch me more.â you uttered shamelessly.   âGood girl. On your back, spread those pretty little legs for me too, why donât you?â   Lying down on the plush mattress and warm pillows, you stare at the ceilings.   You peered at him starting where he left off. Giving you faint, yet chaste kisses on your breasts, trailing kisses down your stomach.   âAw, your panties are absolutely fucking soaked baby, how cute.â he cooed, parting the soaked fabric to the side.   You look at him undress thoughtlessly, but youâre sure heâs done this several times. He did it with little to no effort, but that would mean that youâre not special.   It would be useless to think about right now, you were gonna have the dicking of your lifetime anyway, it was called a one night-stand for a reason. The mountain of clothes grew taller.  Growing impatient, you look up to where he was once standing, only to find him already in between your legs.   âSo pretty.â Gojo purred, circling your entrance just as he had done previously in the car ride, you squeak.   âSo lucky this is all mine.â   Gojo had figured he could add, âfor the night.â but that strangely felt wrong.   He dips his fingers into your walls, and you cry out. Wrapping around his digits, sobbing, this wasnât enough to satisfy your cravings.   âYou want more?â he huskily said, a tone of playfulness still rampant.   âYes! Please, just fuck me!â you croaked, already damn near about to cum from the teasing.   âThatâs my girl.â he whispered under his breath, slipping off boxers you didnât even realize were there in the first place.   He doesnât give you a chance to see his full length, instead ramming inside of you. You inhale sharply at the sudden disruption.   The throbbing evaporated into thin air, and youâre desperately grabbing at the sheets to steady yourself. Sweaty and sticky skin slapping against each other echoed throughout the room, along with your moans and his grunts. You could feel him reaching heights that you would never be able to do with the dildos you had at your house, much less your fingers. One hand on your waist to steady your flailing body, the other, roughly groping your breast.   You were finding it hard to think, pleasure and euphoria filling your senses. Unknowingly, you wrap yourself around Gojo even harder then before.   âFuck, baby, I can barely pull out.â he panted. âyouâre too tight.â   You canât even begin to respond, still deep in your state of pleasure, instead responding incoherently with a jumble of delicate moans and gasps in between.   âC-cum!â    âHm? Repeat that princess?â he soothed.   Youâre unable to respond again, instead you try to lift your head up, and Gojo feels himself throb again, watching your eyes flutter back.   Itâs not until itâs too late, realizing a hot fluid flow down your holes. He pulls out, he himself ejaculating on your stomach.   Both muscles stretched taut, you both laid on the bedsheets, sweating and panting.   âFuck, I havenât had a girl like you in a while.â he says, turning his head to look at you. Strands of hair stuck to your forehead.   âR-Really?â he kissed your forehead, tipping your chin with his long fingers.   âYes, really. Iâm so lucky I spotted such a pretty little thing at a club.â   The sun was starting to rise, you note, and you realize just how perfect his body is with the new light.   A sudden warmth on your cheeks, you look down, still panting.   âClubs arenât my thing.â you said breathlessly.   âFuck. Itâs 5 AMâ he says, eyes now glued to his phone, ruffling his white hair.   âIâll go-â   âNo, here, lets take a shower with each other, and then we sleep.â    âOkay.â you responded, hoping to not make conversation, still believing that he was a celebrity.   He handed you his phone, rubbing the back of his neck.   âCan I get your number?â   â...Why?â you questioned.   â...To call you back again, duh.â he teases, rubbing your head.   No way, he wanted you back at his house?   You?   Not wanting to fuck up your chances, you nod, something was growing inside of you, and you werenât quite sure what it was, but you knew he made you feel special.  Â
#jujutsu kaisen#gojo satoru#gojo satoru smut#jjk headcanons#gojou satoru#jujutsu kaisen gojo#jujutsu kaisen gojo satoru#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x y/n#gojo satoru x you#dom gojo#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#gojou x you#fanfic#fic#anime fic#im learning how to write well ok
242 notes
·
View notes
Text
nine. SOFT
suna rintaro x fem! mitsuri reader
(kny x hq)
warnings: spelling mistakes, Â 2k+ words, italicized words/ sentences are her thoughts, mitsuriâs hair+eye color was used.
gen masterlist. Â Â Â sakura mochi.
"suna-kun, what is this for, exactly?" she hummed curiously as she held onto his hairÂ
"f-for my strength of course" suna replied. he was currently tasked to do a hundred pushups by kita after lazing off at practice for way too many times. and he, for some reason, found it a good idea to make her sit on his back as he does this.Â
there was really no telling what ran through suna's mind when he thought it would do him well to have her weighing him down
"but wouldn't your arms hurt from carrying me?" she asked with worry lacing her tone as she prompts to stand upÂ
"no, no. stay there." suna demanded as he pulled her back down on his backÂ
"well, im not really the lightest girl on the planet, so this may be really hard for you.. and it's extremely embarrassing for me" she muttered with a frown "and shouldn't i be sitting closer to your lower back?" she asks "this position will give you bad backaches"Â
she gestured to herself, as she sat on his upper back, way too close to his shoulder blades, while her legs were slung over his shouldersÂ
"im likely to be quite heavier than most girls since my body mass is quite higher than normal, given the muscles that i train" she said "plus.. my more fatty areas if you may" she mumbled as she cleared her throat and nervously hugged her chestÂ
"no, no. you're perfectly fine the way you are, bunny" suna dismissed her self-deprecating comments with a scoffÂ
"besides this keeps me motivated" he mumbled out with a content sigh as he pushed her thighs closer to his face
her hand lightly gripped his hair as she let him squish his face with her thighs. "i don't really get how this is motivating" she chuckled sheepishly
"of course you wouldn't, you're not the one feeling bliss right now" suna said, though his words were slightly muffled "alright then.." she nodded with a bit of hesitance as she felt him tremble a concerning amountÂ
"um. suna-kun, if you think your arms are about to give out, then maybe we should stop for now" she suggested with a smile as she tries to stand up from his backÂ
"nah, i can do this bunny" he declined in a nonchalant toneÂ
"suna , what the hell are you doing?" aran sweat dropped as he entered the gym "oh! he's doing the punishment push-ups, aran-kun" she explained with a smile as suna shakily lifts himself up once more "yeah i get that but-"Â
"OI, SUNARIN! WHAT DO YOU THINK YER DOING?!" atsumu yelled as he hurriedly ran towards y/n. the blond picked her up from her armpits and carefully lowered her to the groundÂ
"ah, that's it. the motivation's gone. i can't do this anymore" suna sulked as he let himself drop facedown on the ground "eh? is your face okay?" she asked worriedly as suna rolled over, showing his forehead which had a reddish bruise formingÂ
"no." suna respondedÂ
"good afternoon everyone, what happened here?" kita asked them as he entered the gym "suna-kun lost his motivation" she replied with a frown as she stared down at the brunetteÂ
"i see." kita hummed in response "but that still doesn't excuse him from the punishment."Â
"cruel" suna mumbled from the groundÂ
"ah, don't worry! i'll do the rest for you" she said with a bright smile as she gets down on the ground beside him "no, no. i don't think it works like that, y/n" aran dismissed her suggestion as he picks her up from the groundÂ
"its fine! he only had to do eighty more, after all" she chuckled as she waved her hand dismissively "i can do it quite quickly"Â
"y/n-san, you shouldn't face his punishments for him." kita told her with a furrowed brows "after all, you've been a great manager to us, so you don't have to do anything but relax for now"Â
she frowned from his words and gingerly poked suna's chest, seeing as he was making no effort to move from the ground "but then suna-kun might get too tired to hang out with me later.." she muttered sulkingly as she fiddled with the ends of her braidsÂ
"yeah, kita-san" suna mused with an exaggerated pout and puppy eyes "i might not have enough energy to hang out with her"Â
"suna, you monster" aran snickered as he watched kita have a crisis in his headÂ
"i.. i see." kita muttered in defeat "you can do what you want"Â
"but you really don't have to-"Â
"okay, it's your turn to get on my back then, suna-kun!" she said with a smile as she got in a push-up formation "huh? is that really necessary, bunny?" suna gulped nervously "you may not be able to carry me-"Â
"alright!" she cut him off as she abruptly pulled him down to sit on her, "tsumu-kun, count for us please!"Â
"right right!" atsumu nodded in excitement as he got down to cheer her onÂ
"you see this, samu?! y/n-chan could probably do this better than you!" atsumu laughed tauntinglyÂ
"hah?! she's probably also better than you, fatsack!" osamu yelled back in aggravationÂ
"hah?! well atleast i'm better than you!" atsumu defended "we'll see about that" osamu scowled as he got down on the ground beside herÂ
"fine then, i'll just join to prove you wrong!" atsumu huffed as he too got ready to do push-upsÂ
"theres more of us now! that's great!" she cheered cluelessly as she gave the twins a grin "alright, i'll count" suna mused as he pulled out his phone to take a videoÂ
"ready, set, go!"Â and thus, what was supposed to be a punishment had turned into a competition.Â
"h-how many have we done?!" atsumu wheeze out as he felt his arms start to tremble "hm, about a hundred and fifty maybe" she answered him with a hum as she continued to push her self up and down from the groundÂ
"that's way more than needed!" atsumu whinedÂ
"you could always give up if you can't do it, tsumu!" osamu taunted his twin, even though he was facing some troubles as well.Â
"hmph, as if! this is easy!" atsumu boasted with a grin "i could do this in my sleep"Â
"im glad to hear that, tsumu-kun!" she beamed happily "shall we do another hundred then?"Â
atsumu's face dropped as she heard those words leave her mouth. his skin was turning ghostly pale as he nervously laughed in response. "a-another hundred?" he squeaked outÂ
"yep! suna-kun seems to be enjoying this quite a lot, after all" she said with a smile as she looked at the brunetteÂ
suna was currently taking way too many selfies, which were all taken at a facebook mom angle, while he throws up peace signs and flipping off the twins "alright, now here we see the miya twins getting absolutely bodied by y/n." suna sneered to the camera as he zoomed in on the twins' facesÂ
"look at her! look at her go!" suna cheered with a playful smirk as he patted y/n's braided locksÂ
"the absolute best. spectacular. amazing. never been seen before. better than all of you." suna listed out
"yuh, get it best friend" suna chuckled as the twins finally gave up and let themselves drop on the groundÂ
"ah, over already?" she said "usually i would have to do a thousand for our typical training session with my friends"Â
"your friends are not normal! who the heck does that?!" atsumu shrieked in horror "well, it doesn't matter now, doesn't it?" she laughed carefreely "you both did a very nice job!"Â
she patted their heads with a proud smile as she handed them two towels to wipe off their sweat "thanks" the twins mumbled out with a droopy smile as they relished in her sweet and gentle touchesÂ
"anyways.." she said as she abruptly retracted her hands, much to their displeasure, and turned to face suna "suna-kun, we can hang out now, now that that's done" she said in an eager tone as she excitedly rocked her heels back and forthÂ
"yup. thanks again bunny" suna said as he slung his arm around her shoulders "but you really didn't have to do that for me" he said with a lazy hum as he led her to the benchesÂ
"oh, it's fine. it was honestly pretty easy-"Â
she cut herself off as she was met with suna's face inching closer to her, while his hand reaches out to hold the side of her head "eh?" she squeaked out as she blinked to make sure her eyes weren't playing tricks on her.
'is he.. is he gonna kiss me?' Â she thought to herselfÂ
'im not ready!' Â she panicked as she felt her face start to get hotterÂ
'no, no. im ready! i've been dreaming of this!' Â she pondered with determinationÂ
'suna-kun is gonna kiss me!' Â she squealed internally Â
'then afterwards, we can get married and live together and have a family of bunnies and hamsters! maybe we can adopt tanjiro and nezuko too-'Â
"your hair's all messy" suna mumbled as he grazed his fingers through the long braid before finally taking the hair tie off at the endsÂ
"ah." she huffed out with a blank smileÂ
she sat still as he took off her other hair tie and started undoing and untangling her braids, leaving her long and thick pink and green hair flowing down in pretty waves upon her back
"turn around for me, bunny" suna commanded in a whisper as he patted her waist to turn "o-okay" she replied nervously as she obediently turned around and kept her hands on her lapÂ
"your hair's so pretty, bunny" suna whispered to her ear as he started combing his fingers through her soft locks "really? thank you, suna-kun" she mumbled out in gratitude as she flusteredly rubbed her hands and thighs togetherÂ
"and your hair colour's so adorable. makes you look so cute" suna cooed as he played with the ends of her hairÂ
"r-right.." she mumbled quietly as she covered her reddened face with her hands. silence had washed upon them along with the various voices of the team as suna started braiding one side of her headÂ
"where did you learn how to braid, suna-kun?" she asked in curiosity as she held down the other half of her hair "my sister made me do her hair all the time, so i just got better as time went by" suna explained with a shrugÂ
"can't say her hair was as nice as yours though" suna sighed "it was like a rat's nest with all the knots"Â
her eyes shined in adoration as she heard his adorable reason. she gripped her pounding chest as hearts start surrounding her form "suna-kun, that's so sweet!" she squealed "i never expected that from you!"Â
"guess so, hm?" suna mumbled out nonchalantly as he tied her hair in placeÂ
'ah, just as i'd thought' she thought to herselfÂ
'he's the perfect husband after all!' Â she cried happily in her mind
"anyways, what'd you wanna do?" he asks her as he proceeded to braid the other side "hm, we could go to the same place kiyoomi-kun and i went to yesterday!" she suggested with a grinÂ
"he liked it, so im hoping you would as well" she hummed happily as suna ties the end of her braidÂ
"is that so?" suna hummed "where is this exactly?" he asked "its a secret hideout!" she said "but.. its only a wisteria garden and a private teahouse" she admittedÂ
"theres also a koi pond by the back, but kiyoomi-kun wasn't able to see it" she said "i was hoping to save it for you" she admitted bashfullyÂ
"for.. me?" suna muttered in surpriseÂ
"yeah.. i went there last night to prepare you food so we can eat by the pond and watch the sunset.." she mumbled "but i was also thinking of doing it at night since the fireflies would light our surroundings and it would look really pretty.." she hummed dreamilyÂ
suna blinked dumbfoundedly as he listened to her ramble on and on about their planned hangoutÂ
"but we could also-oh im sorry" she cut herself off with a nervous laugh "was i talking too much?" she asked nervously "sorry if i talked too much!"Â
"people say i never shut up, so you can tell me when i'm annoying you" she waved her hands dismissively "you're not annoying me, bunny" suna said with a sighÂ
he took her shaking hands in his and pulled her up to her feet. "let's go have that picnic you planned out, yeah?" suna asked with a small smile "wouldn't wanna let your efforts go to waste" he chuckledÂ
"okay.." she muttered as she hung her head low. her cheeks flushed a dark pink as she nipped at her lips to calm herself and her pounding heart.Â
"y'know, your hands are really soft, y/n" suna said as he brought her hand up to his line of sight to further inspect itÂ
"a-ahm! please don't do that!" she laughed sheepishly as she retracted her hand and hid it behind her back "why? what's wrong, bunny?" suna asked worriedly as he stopped in his tracks to look at herÂ
"well, my hands aren't the prettiest so you shouldn't look at them for too long" she said with a shaky smile. suna furrowed his brows and frowned as he listened to her awfully degrading words.Â
"they're the prettiest, bunny. i don't get what you're talking about" he saidÂ
"well, my hands are super scarred because if sword fighting, and they're very nasty to look at" she said as she rocked on her heels "or so i've been told.." she mutteredÂ
suna sighed and slumped his shoulders, stuffing his own hands in his pockets as they quietly continued on their way. her usual smile wasn't present as she kept her vision straight ahead. her hands stayed hidden behind her back as well.Â
suna slyly side eyed her, debating in his head on what he would do, before coming to conclusion with a sigh "c'mon, im in the mood to eat" he said with a yawnÂ
he grabbed her hand and stuffed it in his pocket alongside with his. his thumb lightyly rubbing shapes on the scarred skin.Â
'what is he doing?' Â she thought to herselfÂ
her eyes glistened as she put her other hand over her chest, her heart beating more erratically than before. "if we do this, you won't feel sad anymore right?" suna muttered as he looked away to avoid eyecontactÂ
"i think so.." she mumbled in replyÂ
"alright then, its settled" suna huffed out. "were walking like this starting now, kay?"Â
"that way no one'll see your hands since you don't like it" he said. his olive green eyes peered at her as he put up a nonchalant facade to throw her off.Â
'he's doing this all for me?' Â she thought to herselfÂ
'wow.. suna-kun really is the best'Â
she smiled happily as she scooted closer to his side. suna sighed in relief as the skip in her step finally came back, as well as the sweet melody she always seems to hum.Â
"are you happy now, bunny?" he asked herÂ
"yeah! and it's all thanks to you, suna-kun!" she said as she swayed her other hand back and forth while the other stays intertwined with hisÂ
"glad i could help, bunny"Â
"so this is giyuu's fish, and that one's rengoku-san's, that white one with red spot is uzui-kun's" she listed outÂ
"muichiro-kun's fish is dead because he forgot about it and it starved to death" she saidÂ
"and this is mine!" she said as she pointed to a certain koi fish in the pondÂ
"i have no idea who those people are, but let me see yours.."Â suna scooted closer to the water and watched as the fish followed her finger, which she swirled around the waterÂ
"i named him koi" she said with a smile as she lifted the fish out of the water "you named the koi fish koi?" suna sweat droppedÂ
"yup! and also because it means love" she explained "obanai-kun helped me name it.. he said it suited me as the owner"Â
"it does suit you" he agreed with a nodÂ
"anyways, you better put him back or he'll die" suna said as he pointed to the fish in her palms which was flapping around in discomfortÂ
"ah! im sorry, koi-chan!!" she exclaimed as she gently placed it down on the pond "i forgot you can't breathe here!" she cried out as she leaned down to pet it gently with her fingerÂ
"have some mochi!" she squeaked out in distress as she tried to feed it a whole ball of sakura mochi. she panicked even more as the fish declined her offering and opted to swim awayÂ
"eh?! you don't like it?! are you mad at me?" she sulked as she gloomily placed the mochi on a lily pad and let it float awayÂ
suna chuckled and pulled her back by her arm, letting her rest her back on his chest as she continued to sulk "you're adorable, bunny" he muttered with a soft laugh as he rested his chin on the crown of her headÂ
'so soft.' Â suna thought to himself as he wrapped his arms around her.
"sorry about that, suna-kun" she said "koi-chan might hate me if i don't leave him some mochi on his lily pad like usual"
"though im starting to think he doesn't actually eat it and oba-chan just takes it out by morning.." she mumbled "hmm, im sure he eats it with his fish friends." suna said as to entertain her
"but now, we have to eat as well" he said as he took a mochi and shoved it in her mouth
"mmhm. thwanks suna-kun" she said through muffled words as she chewed the gummy treat. suna simply peered down at her, watching her eat with a single thought causing his mind to go in a frenzy
"should i do it.." he pondered out loud as he hesitantly brought his hands up to her face
"hm? do what- eh?" she blinked dumbly and looked up at him with curious doe eyes "what're you doing, suna-kun?" she asked himÂ
"hmm.. soft." he mumbledÂ
she blinked cluelessly as he kept on squishing and massaging her cheeks, lightly pinching the soft and plump tissue with a look of amazementÂ
"so soft." he mumbled once again as he pinched them one last timeÂ
"hm.. what else should we do?" she asked him as she scooted away from him to face him properly. she smiled nervously as suna kept staring at her with his olive green eyes.Â
his expression stayed monotonous, almost like he didn't care, but the bright and flowery aura surrounded him, said otherwise.
"should we walk home or take the train?" she asked him "the miya's residence and your home isn't really that far away, right?" she ponderedÂ
"though, i don't want you to tire yourself out by walking" she said in concern "sorry, am i talking too much again?" she asked with an apologetic smile as she realised he still hasn't responded or moved an inch from his initial positionÂ
"its fine, bunny." he spoke "i think i wanna walk home with you" he said as he stood up from the ground and dusted the bottom of his sweatpantsÂ
"i'd like to hold your hand again" he admitted through a yawn as he stretched his arms over his headÂ
"eh? really?" she asked in disbeliefÂ
"of course" suna reassured her "though, after this i'd like to see you training with a sword." he said "it'd be cool seeing you swing it around and deck some guys, yeah?" suna mused as he looked around the wisteria covered pathÂ
"really? would you like to visit the dojo with me sometime?" she asked excitedly with a grinÂ
"sure, bunny"Â
"i'd also like to meet whoever said your hands were ugly. i'll beat them up."
"ah, there's no need to" she chuckled nervouslyÂ
"so.." suna trailed off "wanna hold hands again?"Â
"yes please."
#haikyuu x y/n#haikyuu!!#haikyu x reader#haikyuu#haikyƫ!!#hq x you#hq x reader#hq x y/n#hq suna#suna rinatro#suna x y/n#suna x reader#suna imagines#suna rintaro x y/n#suna rintaro x reader#miya osamu#miya atsumu#inarizaki#inarizaki x y/n#kny x reader#kny imagines#kimetsu no yaiba#demon slayer#demon slayer x reader#zenitsu x reader#tanjiro x reader#mitsuri kanjiro#mitsuri kanroji#giyuu tomioka x reader#kny muichiro
47 notes
·
View notes
Text
Nothing Left To Give
chapter four âą smile
Kat didn't mention her DID until two weeks after that, and Malcolm found himself thinking about her more then he probably should have.
And Kat knew it too. They had been getting closer and closer and she could tell how curious he was. Over the span of the 7 weeks they had become friends, and Kat was confident in saying he was one of the closest friends she ever had, so much so that even some of the Others wanted to meet him.
Driving each other to and from the precinct was becoming a regular occurrence, and he slowly revealed more and more about his past, opening up to her much quicker then she was to him.
"So thats what you're trying to figure out? If the girl in the box is real and who she is?"
"Yeah. Funnily enough, trying to solve a murder where the only evidence is unreliable memories is kind of...hard."
"I understand that. Not the murder part, but everything else."
His curiosity had been temporarily put on the back burner while he told her his story, but now it was at the forefront of his mind.
She noticed almost immediately. She kind of felt bad about it, and was planning on telling him when the time was right.
The time never seemed right.
And when it did, she couldn't bring herself to talk about it. So she eventually just waited for him to bring it up.
He was in her apartment again, looking at some of the pictures on her wall and laughing as she told stories of the people in them.
He noticed quickly that none of them were members of her family.
"What about your family?" He asked, before he even realized the can of worms he might have opened by doing so.
She tensed immediately, turning to look at him.
"We don't... talk."
Malcolm looks up at her, noticing for the first time that she was taller then him.
"Do you mind if I ask why?"
She sits down on her couch, tucking her feet underneath her. Malcolm sat next to her.
"They didn't believe me when I told them what was... happening... to me."
His breath hitched. His mind reeling from the possibilities of what that meant. He supposed that he could ask. They had gotten a lot closer, and if she didn't want to talk about it, he could wait longer. No problem.
"And... what was happening to you?"
She looked away from him, eyes widening for a split second, and then she slowly took a deep breath.
This was it. He had asked, and she didn't know if she was ready.
She could dive head first into telling him and risk freezing in the fridgid water, or stay safe and dry, but risk putting a wall between her and Malcolm.
She decided to just take the plunge.
"...bad things." She whispered. And even just thinking about it, her brain was assaulted with memories, and she already felt herself slipping.
"Bad, bad things...hurt... it hurt."
She screwed her eyes shut, fists clenching. Her nails dig into her palms and she sucks in a breath.
Malcolm watched, letting her set the pace, but his brows were furrowed in concern. He knelt down in front of her and offered his hands. She took them with a crushing grip.
"...hold on... someone..." her breath hitched.
"Someone's here. Sorry." Malcolm watched in both worry and fascination.
"Its... okay. Take your time." He responded.
He knew what was happening. She was doing what she had told him was "switching". One of her alters was coming. He was very curious, but he was also fearful as to what would happen next.
Would he ruin everything? He hoped not.
Kats eyes unfocused for a second, and then she stopped.
She looked up, eyes blinking.
She continued staring for a second and looks around.
When he heard her voice, he didn't know what to think.
"...I was told to not like... pretend to be Kat."
Malcolms eyes widen, and hes taken aback. Her voice sounds so different. A touch lower, and with a strong Essex accent, her words somehow a mix of dramatic and lazy sounding.
"Uh... yeah. Who is this?"
"Has she told ya any of our names?"
"...No. But I've never asked. Wanted to go at her own pace."
Kat-whoever- nods at that, looking down at their clothes.
"What the fuck is this? Kat I told ya not to dress us in a skirt!"
He looks at the person in front of him.
"You don't like skirts?"
"Nah. Its not my style. I'm Haven. Primary protector and ex-prosecutor. Basically means I didn't used to be a great person. I'll explain more later if I feel like it. Its my job to protect us, and my job to judge whether someone is safe. You seem to be okay for now."
He was at a loss for words. He was given almost zero warning, however he assumed that she wasn't either.
"So what 'ave you said to set 'er off then?" She said, glaring. It was so weird, he thought, how her entire demeanor has changed. Man or woman. Or whatever. He didn't even know.
The glare on her face looked so unnatural, like it didn't belong there.
"We sort of got onto the topic of her past. And then... you came out." He said.
"Sorry, who exactly are you? You specifically. Not just your role." He said, confused and cautious as to where to go from here.
"Are you askin' what I look like?" She responded, the way she holds herself that of a completely different person.
"Maybe. Or just who you are. What you like and dislike, your interests."
She stares at him, tilting her head.
"Well for one thing, my skin is a bit darker then this, Kat is atrociously pale. I've got short, curly black hair and freckles."
He tries to imagine it, but its hard. He's looking at what he knew as Kat, but now, she's someone different.
Haven continued talking.
"I've got sort of big eyes. Small nose. Thick eyebrows. Big-ish lips. I look like I'm mixed race, but I don't like to think of myself as that because I will never relate to the struggles of being black and I will never be fully emersed in the culture. The body is Korean, and I don't think it's appropriate to be say that I'm mixed race because my actual real life body is not."
Malcolm nods. He could understand that.
So Haven, he noted, was a rambler.
"Im an integrated alter. I used to be three people. I have the memories of three different people and I remember them all separately. I have access to all the memories and trauma, so don't fuck with me." She says the last bit with a bit of sadness and anger.
Haven was really closed off, he thought. She looked at him with a fierceness he couldn't describe, and soon, he found himself noticing all the differences between them. The more she talked, the more she became her own person to him.
"I have just a few things to say to you before I go back inside-"
"Inside where?" Malcolm asked, cutting her off, suddenly very confused. More then he already was.
"Back to inner world. We have a whole world inside our head. We all live in an apartment building. Well not all. We have a cave, a pool, a forest, other stuff. When we're fronting, we're sitting in the lobby. I sound insane when I say that, but its true."
She shrugged.
Shes right, he thought.
It did sound insane.
And if he didn't already know a bit about the disorder, he would have called her out.
And some would say the same about his mental health problems.
So he believed her.
"So... you protect Kat?"
"Yes. And everyone else. Its my job. I was the first one made, the first one to take it instead of her."
His brows furrowed at that.
"What does that mean?"
She looks up at him.
"It means that when fucked up shit was happening to us I took her place so she didn't have to deal with it."
He thought about that. Fucked up shit? Like what? Did it have to do with his father? He shuddered at that thought.
It had taken him almost every ounce of willpower to not ask Kat about it, but he figured could ask Haven. So he did.
"Does the name Martin Whitly ring a bell?"
She stood up then, and dragged him up by the collar of his shirt, eyes intense and angry.
"How do you know that name?" She asked through gritted teeth, voice low.
Struck a nerve, then.
"He-He's my father." He said. Her eyes widened and she threw him onto the couch.
"Have you seen him recently? Don't lie to me I swear to God I will know."
He was taken aback. Things had taken a 180 faster then he could even process what was happening.
Struck a big nerve, then.
He could tell the truth, but what if it ruined their friendship?
Or he could lie, but she said she will know. That would probably ruin their friendship even more...
Before he can even stop himself:
"Yes."
She sits down then, eyes clenching.
"You have to take me to him."
He stands up, fists clenching.
"No. Absolutely not." He couldn't let his father ruin their friendship. He wouldn't let him.
"Either you take me to him or I go myself."
"You can't."
"I'll find a way." Her eyes glinting in determination. He suddenly got the feeling that she wasn't joking.
He took in a shuddery breath, hands shaking.
"Fine."
_______________________________________
Haha no proofreading here we die like Eve.
Like and comment yall. These chapters take a while to write and always have between 1,400-1,900 words and I would really appreciate it if this story spread a bit.
Thx yall.
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
âIce Cream Sundayâ
Prompt: Depression Comfort One-shot feat. Olivia & the Turts
Warnings: Lots of internal reflection about depression and mental health stuff. Also thereâs like one curse word, maybe more, I donât remember??
Word Count: 1,783
A/N: The formatting on the original post got royally FUCKED as always and near gave me a heart attack when I realized what I did. Hope you donât mind @dw-im-just-sadâ! I also hope that there are sunnier days ahead for you, I too have been struggling with a depression episode recently (which is part of why the drabble for this prompt is coming in a little later than Iâd have liked it to), so I definitely know at least some of the feeling. <3
Lazy Sundays were normally pretty good in Oliviaâs mind.
The lack of obligations, the peace and quiet paired with the promise of a more fun night ahead when the boys got finished training or doing whatever it is they did during the day. Todayâs Lazy Sunday didnât feel as good though, if anything it made her feel worse the more that she was a part of it. Staring up at the ceiling of the lair, her mind felt simultaneously numb and tired while still managing to be alive with an uncomfortable amount of unaddressed emotions.
Aside from the laid back bliss that came with a Lazy Sunday, this was supposed to be her happy place. Although the initial experience of the stench when she came in was (and always would be) unforgiveable, her nose became adjusted to it until it was practically background noise amidst the experience of being with the turtles. Their little home environment was always so loving and warm, a spot where she could escape or run away from a world that felt so harsh and anxiety-inducing and instead surround herself with people that eased her into smiling even when life was at its most difficult.
Even if the lair was usually a safe and happy place for her, it didnât mean that it cancelled out the rest of her own very prominent emotions, particularly right now. Reluctantly, Olivia had to admit that this was probably her depression again, baring its teeth and looking for a fight that she didnât have the energy to start. It wasn't like it ever went away when she met the boys, if anything it just enjoyed burying itself like an ostrich in the sand when they were around before pulling its head back up when they weren't. It didnât quite like company as much. After all, it was infinitely easier to take her down when she was alone.
Blinking slowly, she recognized that while there may not have been one singular reason for the depression to start bubbling up, its persistence despite her attempts at distracting herself from it probably meant that it would be there to stay for a while, or at least until she found a big enough distraction to offset the emotions and the experiences. The boys had said they wanted to run a movie marathon once the dayâs activities were over, so that would probably help. Or at least she hoped it would.
Olivia ran her hand down her face and let out a deep and shaky breath. The weight of her own emotions started nudging her closer to tears, and she gave in rather reluctantly. She tried to be quiet, only letting one or two tears out so she wouldnât break into a full out sob. This wasn't the place to cry and be sad, this was the party pad and nobody cries when they're in the party pad, Mikey had said it himself one time.
Right as she was about to get up off the couch she had been curled up on to get herself a glass of water, her eyes quickly met with Mikey's. He was hovering over her now, a few beads of sweat on his forehead running down the side of his face. Their training session must have been particularly brutal today if even Mikey was sweating. Normally that was reserved for Donnie, he tended to get winded a little bit faster given the brutal workout routine Splinter kept them on.
"Are you crying, dude?"
"No," Olivia said defensively. She sat up so she wouldn't have to feel like she was under a magnifying glass quite as much as she did with Mikey peering down at her from over the back of the couch. "I'm tired, that's all."
"Nah, nah, dude you were crying, I can see it in your eyes theyâre all red and stuff," Mikey seemed really insistent with one hand reaching for and firmly grasping her shoulder. His face seemed more empathetic than it did confrontational. "What's wrong? You can talk to me."
"I-"
A jumbled mess of every last thing that had ever felt wrong or ever been wrong throughout her entire life flashed in front of her mind. It wasnât like one specific reason stood as the answer to why she felt like this, it was more like an unfortunate combination of it all that left her drained, and had been leaving her drained for years now. She frowned, then looked down at her jeans and began picking at the worn frays of denim at the bottom of her pant legs. Talking about it would just get complicated, especially to Mikey. He oozed pure light and joy almost all the time, would he really understand what this kind of thing felt like?
"Seriously Mikey, its not that bad, just feeling kinda off I guess. I'll be okay."
Mikey narrowed his eyes at her before thrusting himself over the back of the couch and onto the cushions to join her. Clearly he wasnât buying it. âIts okay to cry, I do too,â He said softly. His own openness to admitting his emotions was remarkable seeing as . âHe wouldnât wanna admit it, but Raph does too at those puppy commercials.â
âASPCA Ads.â Donnie interrupted through a sigh. He had been sitting in his desk nearly the entire time, typing away at something important while monitoring the security cameras. As for how he managed to get out of todayâs training, she didnât know, but he at least had seemed to be enjoying his little vacation time away. He got up from his chair and plopped himself down criss-cross on the floor in front of them, whispering, âSometimes we gotta flip the channel cause he gets all worked up seeing them. But you didnât hear that.â
Olivia couldnât help but smile, even if it was just a weak smirk that tugged at the corners of her lips. That sounded like Raph alright, the boy had a soft spot for pit bulls and other big tough seeming dogs and seeing them suffering in kennels all alone would probably pull at every last heartstring he didnât even know he had.
âI better not have heard you say what I just think I did.â The now looming shadow over her spoke. She turned her head and saw it was Raph, who only peeled his eyes away from Donnie for a moment to look down at Olivia. Suddenly the thought of beefing with Donnie outside for embarrassing him didnât seem as important to him once he caught sight of her puffy and reddened eyes. âAre you crying?â
âFine.â She gave in. âYeah, I am, but its fine, seriously. Donât worry about it.â Olivia sighed. âSometimes I...I donât know, I just feel like this, no reason to worry.â
âNah, I ainât worrying, just wanna make sure its not because of one of these two knuckleheads.â Raph responded coolly before shoving at Mikey playfully and pushing him off the couch so he could sit. âWhy are you feeling like that though?â
âI donât know,â Olivia sighed. âI just do sometimes. It doesnât really ever go away, just subsides for a little while."
A couple moments of silence filled the air, only punctuated by the sounds of Leo's footsteps as he joined the conversation and sat down beside Donnie. "What's going on?" He asked, looking from brother to brother.
"Olivia's been feeling super sad and its bumming her out." Mikey answered, rolling onto his back.
Great. Now everybody was on her case. Olivia braced herself for the long and draining conversation that was bound to be ahead about why she was actually sad and why she had depression when her life âwasn't as bad as some other peopleâ. She had heard it all before and none of it helped, it only made her feel worse, like she was a weight that everyone else was forced to carry.
"Is there any way we could help?" Leo asked. His expression seemed genuine, as if he was coming from a place of understanding rather than judgement. As her gaze drifted over each brother she noticed a similar strain of understanding and friendly compassion behind their eyes (except for Mikey, who was still laid back on his shell waving his arms back and forth as if he were making snow angels.) Even the usually closed off Raphael, who seemed particularly invested in what she might suggest.
Olivia didnât really know what would help if she was honest with herself, but maybe there was some merit behind the thought that their genuine desire to help her could take the edge away for the time being or push her out of the storm clouds she had been sitting under. Her gaze once again drifted across the room to each turtle, hesitating to answer as she parted and closed her lips again. What would help?
âI donât know.â She answered truthfully, feeling a little embarrassed at her own lack of an answer yet again. There had to be something, she just didnât know what it was, couldnât place her finger on it. Crawling out of one of these depressive episodes was a process, not something that happened overnight.
âThatâs okay!â Mikey said, now sitting back up and pointing a set of finger guns at her. âWe can help until you do know.â
"We could all use a little company when we're not feeling good." Don smiled.
âNot going anywhere until youâre feeling better.â Raph nodded in agreement.
Small waves of relief washed over Oliviaâs body. The numbest parts of her mind began to feel a little more warm and relaxed. The turtles didnât know the full extent of how much their friendship meant to her, or the positive effect they had on her most crushed and beaten down psyche. Despite maybe not entirely understanding, they were still able to offer a hand out in peace, something that reminded her of why she so often called the lair her second home. This was a happy place, a party pad, a place to have a good time like Mikey always said. But Olivia saw another side of the lair too now.
This could be a place where she was able to cry and feel her emotions while still having a support system at her side by the end of the day.
Although she still felt pretty shit, Olivia finally had something on her mind that she felt like could help her, even if it was just a little. âMovies and ice cream.â She said softly, rubbing her puffy eyes. As Mikey excitedly got up to fulfill the ice cream part of her request, she shouted after him.
âTwo scoops!â
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
the seat next to his | seonghwa
â TYPE: college!au, fluff, requested
â WORD COUNT: 2.5k
â SYNOPSIS: youâve had the biggest crush on your friend seonghwa, and either he was oblivious and only saw you as a friend, or he was really good at hiding his truest feelings.
â MESSAGE: hello!! im really enjoying your ateez scenarios!! could i request maybe a college ateez scenario? any member is fine but⊠maybe seonghwa?? iâm sorry if this is too vague!! keep up the good work!
â AUTHORâS MESSAGE: thank you so much for requesting this omg i like college aus a lot!! iâm deff gon write seonghwa just cause you said âmaybe seonghwaâheheheheheh AND THANK YOU FOR ENJOYING MY SCENARIOS!!!
the first day of university was going better than you anticipated it to be. you were in your fourth class of the day, nearly done and you wanted to go home and rest. while the day was going well, it was slowly wearing you down minute by minute. but if, you thought, you could survive the first year of university, you can survive the second one.
however, the first year wasnât so ideal. it was a mess, and you did not know what to do at all. your friends all moved to different schools, which left you alone at the one you attended. although, they said they were going to attend the university you were going to but bailed. or was it their back up plan? either way, they didnât tell you about their schools. so, of course you felt a bit blue after finding out they werenât going to attend your school.
the minute you stepped into your fourth period classroom, your hope of knowing people immediately deteriorated. you stopped hoping that thereâd be someone you were at least acquaintances with. you took a seat next to the only seat open, next to a boy who had dark hair and wore a bright orange long sleeve. you decided to not let him know that you were going to sit next to him, you just sat down and huffed.
âthe day will be over soon..â you muttered, pulling your laptop out of your backpack and its sleeve and plopping it with extra care on your desk. you had hoped the boy next to you didnât hear you, and the girl next to you. itâs too soon to scare them away. you let out a deep breath, raising your eyebrows to make sure your eyelids werenât to close during the lesson. another thing was you were too scared to even introduce yourself to the boy next to you and the girl on the other, so you decided to rely on the professor to say their names.
but it happened way too fast, you were too busy waiting for your name to be shouted above the class. your seatmatesâ names went past your hearing and now you canât ask them for assistance. great job, though.
âexcuse me,â said the boy next to you. your head slowly turned to him, eyes leaving your laptop screen to turn your attention to him. and boy, was he the most gorgeous man youâve ever seen. he had dark hair, fringe flowing past his eyebrows and high enough for him to even see what he was doing. he had a sharp nose, as sharp as his jawline when all you could see was the side of his face and very plump lips. how could someone be this gorgeous? it made you a bit insecure thinking about what the girl on your right looks like. âi didnât hear the professor say your name. whatâs your name?â
he was doing the same thing as you, listening for your name. ây/n. my name is y/n.â
the boy nodded, his hair bouncing against his forehead. âmy name is seonghwa, by the way.â
it was easy for you and seonghwa to click, and the next couple of days you became close to him. he was a tall dude, and he smelled like a typical menâs cologne. seonghwa had a nice sense of style, which you liked a lot. and he was polite, a gentleman and funny; almost everything you looked for in a man. though, you already accepted that people like and who look like seonghwa must have high standards when it comes to looking for a significant other, so you dismissed the thought of ever dating him.
seonghwa asked you if youâd want to go to an ice cream parlor and get some ice cream. it was a bit humid, and youâve been cooped up in your room for way too long. you agreed, meeting him downtown at the ice cream parlor. he was already sitting on a chair, busying himself with his phone as he waited for you. he had on a plain white shirt, black basketball shorts and his vans, and to complete the look he had tied up his fringe. the sweat on his forehead became a bit more noticeable.
âiâm here,â you announced, putting your bag on the seat to your right. he looked up, stuffing his phone away in his basketball shorts and greeted you with a smile. you felt your heart thump, considering youâve developed a small crush on park seonghwa. you sat down, ignoring your thumping heart. âdid you get my ice cream?â
âyes, and itâs my treat so you donât have to pay,â he said, resting his chin on his hand with his eyes still trained on you. you were supposed to go to lotte world together, but decided that it was too hot and would much rather chill at his air-ventilated apartment. speaking of, he got his apartment a few days after the first day of school and you gladly helped him settle in. a few of his friends came by to help out, and they introduced themselves to you with a handshake. you still remember how their hands felt against yours considering they shook your hand with a vigorous attitude.
âno, i insist, iâll p-â
âi just said you donât have to,â seonghwa said with a lazy smile. it had always been this way; he always insists on paying for everything. you always had a guilty gut feeling building in your stomach, and whenever you tell your mother she was the one to gush over it, rather than yourself!
âwhy do you do that? all the time?â you asked, bringing out your handheld fan and clicking on the button, to which seonghwa brought out his matching one. his hair fringe began blowing back, eyes closing from the cool wind emitting from his fan. âit makes me feel bad, like a lot.â
âi told you, itâs fine!â seonghwa said, now chuckling at you. next time, youâll get him. maybe ask him out to dinner, or eat dinner at your dorm room but not tell him what kind of food you were going to eat with him. having him pay for everything was truly the best way to make you feel bad. hell, he even pays for your movie tickets and the food that you want to munch on! though, he stopped asking what you want to eat because it was always the same type of food that you ask for. âi really wanna tell you something, once we get out of this place with our ice creams.â
and that was when your heart started racing. he had something to tell you, and your mind began thinking of the best worst case scenarios. do people think you two were together and he doesnât want to be associated with you as your boyfriend? possibly. or maybe he needed help with his project in some class you didnât have with him. anything was possible, and you anticipated the moment the minute you and seonghwa were out of the ice cream parlor and walking down the street.
âdo you want to go to the han river? i heard itâs quite cool there,â he said after taking his plush lips away from the straw.
âplease, anywhere cool is fine,â you told him.
âactually,â he said, obviously changing his mind. he stopped in his tracks, eyes staring into yours. seonghwa adopted the habit of looking straight into your eyes when he was thinking and it always scared you because you donât know what he was thinking of, yet the windows to his soul bore right into yours. and he kept staring, eyes blinking and his bottom lip caught between his incisors. âletâs just go to my apartment. iâll blast the ac.â
âthatâs a waste of energy,â you said, not even thinking twice as soon as you started walking in the direction to seonghwaâs apartment. âwonât that drive up your bills?â
âcan they blame me for doing that? itâs like weâre living in the sun with this heat,â seonghwa responded, and you giggled in return.
and maybe you shouldâve taken your car, because if you did you wouldnât be dying on the street with seonghwa and your matching handheld fans. the fans werenât much help as it was giving you hot ventilation from the hot atmosphere. you regretted not driving down to the ice cream parlor in the first place.
upon arrival, the apartment was a degree more cooler than the outside world. seonghwa beelined it to the thermostat and make the room colder. you threw yourself on the couch, slowly melting into the fabric feel and the fan still blowing on your face. seonghwa landed himself next to you, huffing and sighing into his fan. the room became cold faster than you thought it would, but you were glad it got cold really quick.
âjesus, that was a nightmare,â you said in between huffs, sitting up straight after gaining enough energy to do so. seonghwa stayed lying down on the couch, still huffing to regain his normal breathing. âyou want cold water?â
âplease,â he said. the ice in your drinks had completely melted and merged itselves with the drink, and now it was useful to replenish your thirst. you made your way to his blindingly neat kitchen, it was like he never touched his kitchen nor he ever cooked. spoiler alert, most of the time he doesnât, he usually invites you to dinner while eating take outs which youâve told him is a bad idea. the boy is blasting through his pocket money like it was nothing. you stood in front of the tall, silver fridge and wrapped your hands around the metallic handle, pulling it open and you were bestowed with a somewhat empty fridge but filled with water bottles. you took two and left, hoping the fridge closed this time.
you sat down, handing him a cold bottle and gulped down the drink the second you twisted the cap open. and goodness, did the cold water felt good trickling down your throat. you pulled away from the lips of the bottle, a sigh of relief escaping your lips. seonghwa mirrored the same action as you, copying the sigh as well.
âthank you,â he said, twisting the cap back on the bottle. he reached for the remote, turning the tv on so you could busy yourselves in the meantime. âanything you wanna watch in particular?â
yes, what about the thing you were going to tell me earlier? you thought. âi donât really know. the sun cooked my brain out there.â
âmake some sunny-side up,â he joked.
âthatâs ridiculous,â you told him, taking your eyes off of the tv and turning to him. the sides of his face were plastered with his hair that got damped from his sweat, and the underside of his fringe were plastered against his forehead. he had moved his fringe aside, creating a parting off to the side of his hairline. âso, what were you going to tell me?â
âtell you what?â he asked, eyes still on the tv. it never left the screen, to be frank.
âyou said you were going to tell me something earlier. remember? when we left the ice cream parlor,â you reminded him, all of a sudden worried that you were making a big fool out of yourself for asking in the first place. he must be thinking that youâre eager to know what he was going to tell you, so you started thinking of excuses to disregard the fact that you just asked him what he was going to tell you. âactually, i donât think you said anything.â
âiâm playing with you, i know i said i was going to tell you something,â he said, sitting up to regain his posture. you felt like the biggest fool of them all. âbut i donât know how to tell you, exactly.â
âjust tell me,â you told him. âi wonât judge. i never judged you.â
and you never did, sometimes it was a joke though. but youâd never judge seonghwaâs choices in life. and he knew that, he knew that youâd be his first supporter. so if he told you he found the new love of his life.. you had no choice but to support him either way.
âiâve always told you that college became so much more interesting when you sat down next to me,â he started, eyes staring directly into yours. he was serious this time. âand just.. i look forward to stats more than i actually do, and it confused me for a moment. i spent a lot of time in the early hours reflecting on myself.â
your heart thumped and raced harder than before. why is he saying all these things? is he leaving?
âlike a lot,â he added. seonghwaâs eyes looked down on the floor, before meeting your eyes once more. âand i know why now.â
âwhy are telling me all this?â you asked, hoping your voice didnât sound too quiet or panicky. of course you were panicking, your friend is telling you nonsense! none of it made sense to you. maybe you were being oblivious, but there are a lot of factors that lead seonghwa to telling you these things.
seonghwa shrugged, âi donât know. i just thought you should know.â
âso.. thatâs it?â you asked again, eyes leaving his face.
âactually, no,â he continued. âi should learn how to get to my point, but my point is⊠i think i have feelings for you.â
you stared at him, confused as ever and you just stared at him. what did he say? were they real? iâm not dreaming, am i..? the silence between you and seonghwa was unreal, and you sat on the couch confused. âyou- wait- no, what? you have feelings?â
he chuckled at your question, âyes, i have feelings. iâm a human being, i can feel things.â
âno! i mean- for me? you have feelings for me? since when?â you fired at him, clearly in disbelief that your own crush and your own friend, park seonghwa, also has a crush on you. âwhy? how? seonghwa!â
âbut the real question is,â he said, completely ignoring your questions fired at him. at this point, your heart beat had gone out of rhythm and it may or may not become the cause of your death. you anticipated for his question, which he purposefully held in longer to see if youâd crack under pressure.
spoiler, you did.
âwhat!?â you werenât sure if you were getting nervous, happy or excited. a mix of all three? most likely.
âdo you like me?â he asked. oh, of course heâd ask that. why didnât you see it coming from someone who literally just confessed to you? you couldnât control your expression, and began smiling like an idiot and blushing like mad.
âyes, very much.â
he only smiled, moving from one seat to another and held your hand. just as you expected them to be, they were big and warm. quite sweaty from this unacceptable heat, but you ignored it. holding seonghwaâs hand for the first time was certainly a weird experience, but good.
âcollege will only get better at this point.â
#ateez#kq fellaz#ateez imagines#boyfriend#cute#imagines#kpop boyfriend#kpop fluffy#kpop scenarios#ateez scenarios#college au#college#ateez seonghwa#seonghwa#park seonghwa#ateez park seonghwa#ateez seonghwa scenarios#seonghwa scenarios#university#college!au
630 notes
·
View notes
Text
Sally Mueller x Reggie Huggins one shot
    Belch waited for Sally behind the school in his bright blue TransAm. Waiting for her to get out of field hockey practice every Wednesday had become a thing since they became a couple. Well a secret couple. They couldnât be public because of Sallyâs fear of what it would do to her âperfectâ reputation.Â
 Reggie didnât like to think of that. Thinking about how Sally was too ashamed of Reggieâs background to be seen with him in public always upset him. He knew they were from two different worlds. She was high class and he was white trash. Belch frowned and gazed at the woods that bordered the parking lot
âHello Stud. Did you miss me?â A smooth and familiar voice came. It snapped Reggie right out of his day dream. He looked at her and noticed her sweaty but still somehow very attractive appearance. She always looked real good in that field hockey uniform.
âHey Lil Lady. I thought you wasnât supposed ta be out of practice for another hour.â He said as she walked around the car and got into the passenger seat. She smiled and leaned closer towards him.
âWe went over a couple drills and the coachïżŒ let us go early. Thank god. My team mates where playing like they had lobotomys for breakfastïżŒ.â Sally scoffs but brushed a hand on Reggieâs thigh. He tensed at her touch and his brown eyes started to shine with lust. âHow rude. You havenât given me my hello kiss yet.â The brunette pouted and fluttered her long lashes at him.
This made a chuckle rumble in the giantâs chest. âAw, sorry Darlin. Maybe I can make it up to ya?â He cooed. He leaned in and captured her lips with his own. Sally returned the kiss and threw her arms around his neck.
The next thing the couple knew they where parked under the kissing bridge tangled up in each other. Sallyâs uniform was lying forgotten in the backseat along with Reggieâs hat. The petite girl was straddling the tank of a boy as he quickly moved her hips back and forth on his member. The noises of their moans and pants filled the car. âOh g-god Reg. H-harder! NOW!â Sally demanded in between steamy kisses.
He slowed his pace down teasing her. Before she could complain he growled. âSay please Brat.â
âReggie!â She whines loudly and tried to bounce on him only for him to tighten his grip on her hips and keep them still. âSay please Brat or I wonât let ya cum.â He threatened and nipped the soft flesh of her neck.
âP-please Stud?â Sally pleaded softly. Reggie flashed her a wolfish grin and started bucking his hip hard and wildly into hers. She let out a surprise gasp. The small girl clung desperately to him. He pounded his 9 inch cock in and out of her warmth. âFeel good baby?â He asked between huffs. She couldnât respond even if she wanted to. The pleasure was melting her brain in the best way. She arched into him more and let out a moan. âI-im s-so close! Ah ahhmmm!â
Reggie fastened his pace even more. He grabbed her ass and slapped it hard enough to leave a bright red hand print. She yelps as she felt herself nearing the edge. âYes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!â Sally chants. She hit her peak with a final cry. Her eyes shut and she buried her face into his neck as her body quivers. A few more sloppy thrusts drove Reg over the edge as well.
The two teens sat there panting for a couple minutes until Sally kissed him sweetly and snuggled into his chest like a lazy cat. âI love you Reginald. I feel safe with you. Youâre so special to me.â She whispered sleepily. It was cheesy but Reggie couldnât help smiling warmly as he stroked her long brown hair. âI love you more Sal.â
This is why he put up with her. This is what made enduring her bitchy attitude worth it. It made moments like these more amazing because sheâd never show this âweakâ sideïżŒ to anyone else. To everyone else she is a cold rich bitch but Reggie knew how warm she truly was. He reached over and grabbed her jacket from the passenger seat, draping it over her. He then wrapped his big arms around her. They both soon dozed off.ïżŒ
#belch huggins#sally mueller#reginald huggins#reggie huggins#one shot#henry bowers#patrick hockstetter#bowers gang#victor criss
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
starting anew!
hi! if by the odd chance you knew me from my old blog, i realized that i was restricted from carrying out a lot of functions i might want to in the future if i were to grow my blog (it was a sideblog to an old, 2013 blog i had and when i replied to comments or respond to asks itâd be as my primary). so instead i decided to create a new account so that lycho could be my primary blog! since i did have a few posts that i wanted to keep for history sake, this is just going to be a mega post of my past few posts:Â
apr 6, 2020 - the beginning
day 1 of my journey with ux!
frankly, iâve been on this journey for the past two years (ever since discovering it) but i feel as though i havenât made any real progress. iâve always claimed i wanted to grow and learn more about the field, yet those goals never showed in my day-to-day actions.
this blog is a collection of my progress on this journey to keep myself accountable. the goal is facebook in a year, baby!
i know itâs super idealistic and quite tough for a second year like me whoâs not even in a design program (business, actually). but i still want to try. i want to do something for myself for once.
that is why i am committing 4 hours everyday to honing my craft. whether that is learning about ux through watching youtube tutorials, skillshare course, or reading medium articles, or actually practicing the craft by making redesigns or wireframes, i will dedicate this time strictly to advancing my expertise within the field. and this blog exists to keep up with my every step of the way :)
apr 8, 2020 - website overhaul
today I worked on cleaning up the modularity of my existing website a bit, making use of consistent classes instead of hard-coding like i used to! oh how i love modularity!
small win: making a navbar that breaks out of the standard bounding box of the siteâs content --> next goal is to make it a sticky navbar with js!
other than my website, yesterday I finished a skillshare course on user-centred design, albeit short, it was really valuable and it only motivates me to continue learning. Iâm starting to realize how much I actually like doing this stuff and think it is something that really clicks and not just something im doing for the looks.
slowly but surely getting the hang of dedicated 4 hour time chunks to my craft - i failed yesterday and the day before (woke up around 9/10 instead of starting at 8:30) but today i did pretty well! took a short 20 min nap inbetween haha but Iâm still proud of myself overall :)
itâs been pretty depressing and lonely lately with the quarantine (when the sun is shining so bright, teasing me grr..) but I want to get back into a routine and be productive although i do have my lazy days. it just overall makes me feel better because who knows how long weâll have to live like this. might as well get used to it.
apr 9, 2020 - website overhaul
hi! so today i wanted to be very candid and share that i feel like i did fail today in terms of the goals i had set out for myself, though I reached 1/2 goals so thatâs good! the first was to finish refining my website and publish it (check!), while the other was to finish the financial statements for my business assignment but alas that did not end up happening haha, but i forgive myself for it and know that tomorrow will be a new day!
I actually woke up early today (around 7:30, earlier than usual) and felt awake, yet mentally I just wanted to go back to sleep so I ended up getting up at 9:30. I then regretted it and beat myself up for it briefly for doing that, but I realized that I should let myself off in these strange times weâre all living in right now.
so, i think i really am going to get serious about my design journey! my only concern is that i feel like im stretching myself too thin - i have a full time design internship offer for this summer for a startup, as well as 2 leadership positions on clubs where I lead/work on the branding and design, but also at the same time Iâm always at home so not sure what is reasonable and what is not. Because when Iâm not doing that, I want to be self-learning, but I recently a discovered a mentorship program where I could be mentored by a startup founder to help scale her business, but again I feel like Iâm stretching myself thin. though itâs a really good opportunity.
anywho, updates on my website like this post was supposed to be about is that i finally published it again after not liking how it looked before, and i think this revamp is a lot cleaner! proud of it. i try not to reveal many of my personal details on here bc iâm not sure who would actually be reading it, but this blog is just a way for me to track, myself, how iâm doing and to keep myself accountable :) i just didnât want to set it to private cause itâs a hassle for me to always enter the password if i want to look at my blog.
lastly, i want to start consistently workout - and in the long term actually start a real blog where I write about my experiences, in actual coherent sentences! amazing. creative-wise i really want to start learning 3d illustration and blender, even though iâm an aspiring product designer but i just love 3d and motion, so idk might be stretching myself too thin again but i feel like I need to stretch my creative muscles this way and push myself as a creator. also starting the daily ui challenge again tomorrow after giving up a few months ago - haha!
letâs see how this one pans out :)
apr 10, 2020 - learning + starting anew
today i started two new things !!
restarted daily ui challenge after quitting a week in last year
started to learn blender ! !
i still feel like i failed today because i mostly sat around doing nothing OTHER than design, which just affirms to me that im truly passionate about this stuff for only having motivation to do it (or just a strong will against my homework for uni still....either way im taking it)
although iâm not that great at blender yet and felt frustrated during the process, when i got the end result i realized i like how it turned out despite it not being perfect, and itâs inspiration for me to keep learning and expanding on my skills :)
same with daily ui - i found that my approach this time compared when i literally knew NOTHING about ux was very different.
for example, something I already notice I'm doing differently from the last time is focusing less on decoration and more on practicality, actually naming/grouping layers and leveraging design systems, and injecting personality to make the experience delightful. I'm also limiting myself to two hours now (though this one took about an hour) so I have more time to do some research, sketch and wireframe before styling.
looking forward to a better day tomorrow! i might do a little less design (maybe just a daily ui shot) so i can focus on actually tackling the report iâm supposed to finish as well as study for an upcoming exam, so we will see! feeling good :))
1 note
·
View note
Note
hi! i dont mean to restart shit but i feel like the reason neurodivergent ppl butt heads over gifted kids so much is that to kids like me who had undiagnosed adhd that had me hide my report cards and tests in elementary school, its kind of a slap in the face to hear so many people who you were compared to and put down against talk about issues that have plagued you since you were super young, but framed in a way that only they could relate to! the education system fucks over both âgiftedâ AND-
-kids who were barely scrapping by! it just affects us at different stages of our lives, and for different reasons. tying my intelligence to my self worth, an inability to ask for help, always feeling like im underperforming, etc, these are all things that affect me because i dont want to be the âdumb kidâ again. i still have to do extra work my high achieving brother doesnt because my mom doesnt trust my intelligence!! + i also think that ppl are bitter yall cld do so well during school-
- in the end, i think our experiences are more like a mirror; âure dumb and forever will be vs if u get less than the top of the class ure a failure and ur achievements dont matterâ (also, personally, even after hearing all the shit the gifted program put yall thru, id love to have been a gifted kid. id rather know i have the capacity to be smart than be the kid who regularly scores in the bottom of the class)
Listen, I am neurodivergent. That's what my entire post is about, how because I was gifted, I was seen as ""too smart to be disabled"" and given no accomodations whatsoever, even though I greatly needed them. I was autistic, but nobody in the education system even THOUGHT to look at why I suddenly started failing classes when I got into 10th grade, nobody even thought to ask me why I was having such a hard time. Because if I was ""smart"" then I should be able to do good in advanced classes. So ergo, my struggling was laziness. Except for one teacher, who when I told her, told me I needed to suck it up and get my homework done or she was going to fail me.
Like, I'm not trying to demean your experiences in the school system or say "I had it worse than you", but the entire reason I made the post in the first place was because I was absolutely fucked by the gifted label in school because I was neurodivergent. The gifted label leaves no wiggle room. You're either smart and pass your classes, or you're lazy and get shit grades, according to teachers.
I had a burn out at 15 years old. Think about that. I was 15, a time where I should be hanging out with friends and doing fun things. But instead I fell to the floor of my bedroom and cried for over an hour because I just couldn't face the fact I didn't do my homework again and my teachers were going to fail me. I was so mentally unstable because of the expectations put on me by the gifted label, I was so scared of seeing that big fat F painted across my report card, that I just broke.
On top of that, I was placed in advanced classes or classes I didn't need because I was ""smart"" and it would look better for getting a ""smart"" job. They kicked me out of the one place I felt safe in the school, Art, and replaced it with electives I didn't need or want simply because it would look good on my college applications. They replaced my Language Arts classes with a ""Gifted Class"" in Middle School and specifically because of that, I have no idea how to structure an essay more than 6 paragraphs long. Every time I asked a teacher for help, they'd tell me to stay after school (which I couldn't at the time, I didn't have a ride) and wouldn't even explain in the simplest terms what they wanted because "You're smart [gifted] you should already know this."
You do NOT want to be a gifted kid. Trust me. Especially if you're neurodivergent, because gifted kids are basically pressured to be mini-adults as kids and when they don't respond as being a perfect pinnacle of maturity or smart-ness, they're said to have problems with laziness. Or ""behavioral issues"". I needed SO much in school, but because I was labelled as gifted, I never got any of it. If we need help with anything we're ""supposed"" to know, you're shit out of luck, because nobody will give it to you. "You're smart, you're supposed to know this!" Is our mantra, and eventually, we stop asking.
The reason I made the original post is because the ""gifted"" label is thrown at anyone who has even a moderate IQ score who ""think differently"" than others. See how that ties heavily into the neurodivergent community? Some people with the gifted label might be neurotypical, but a lot of them end up being neurodivergent later in life for the sole fact "they were too smart to be disabled" and nobody ever said "Hey, you Might be neurodivergent" because they were seen as smart.
Gifted kids don't have it easier. Our praise from adults is always tainted by "You could do better". We don't get accommodations we need. Our education is lax because we're already supposed to know it, despite never being taught whatever it is they expect us to know. Adults want to make all of our academic decisions on how smart they think we are. We're given double the work because "we can handle it". And worst of all, we're constantly beaten down with "You're so smart! Why aren't you understanding this?" As if not understanding something is somehow our fault.
The post wasn't being like "GOD GIFTED KIDS HAVE IT THE HARDEST IN SCHOOL BECAUSE OF X". It was "The neurodivergent community greatly intersects with the gifted community and their struggles in the school system need to be acknowledged and not talked over because of the notion 'gifted kids have it easier because they're smart'."
I'm not going to lie, most of the reason why I dropped out from 10th grade was because I just couldn't handle the expectations from my teachers to be the perfect student and hand in perfect papers. They beat down that 15 year old teenager who liked anime and Sonic and reading to the point where I had a complete mental breakdown and I begged my mom to let me quit. Begged her, on the floor, sobbing. I burnt out so bad I couldn't read a book for over 4 years. I'm just now starting to read again.
School is fucked. But the Gifted label adds another layer of Hell to it that neurodivergent kids just aren't equipped to handle, and I feel very strongly about letting these kids talk about what they went through, bitter people or not.
#cas talks#listen i understand that school is fucked in general#but the gifted experience is a special kind of hell especially for neurodivergent kids#also this isnt meant to be mean or in your face i hope it doesnt come off that way#education#k 12 education#education system#gifted#gifted kid
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
Like Oh 2.0 - Happy Halloween
Previous Chapter: Fansign Word Count: 3,646 Summary: Itâs Halloween and everyoneâs dressed up for the holiday.
Like Oh 2.0 masterlist
just several more chapters and the storyâs over! this makes it... november, december, january, and february i believe. still canât believe i wrote this with a chapter for at least one month and all that. so yeah, happy reading and kthxbai, Admin Lia~
"Thank you, Jyongri unnie, for helping us out with our Haunted House project." Dasol said gratefully dressed as the Joker. "Yeah." Haeryong agreed coming up beside Dasol dressed as Harley Quinn. "Even though it was last minute, you did a wonderful job! Thank you!" "Jyongri unnie definitely did a wonderful job scaring all the people who decided to stop by. Thanks a lot!" Seolbin chimed dressed as a broken doll while Melanie stood beside her friend dressed up as a voodoo doll. "Yeah, thanks." Melanie smiled at Serena who was dressed as a zombie bride. "I'm still hella annoyed that Dayoon and Yerim both bailed at the last minute without giving us a reason. They better not get any credit for this either."
Serena smiled at them all while smoothing out her dress. "You're welcome. I wanted to put this costume to good used since I didn't get to use it last year and now that my hair is back to being all black, too." Serena looked about one of the classrooms at Seoul National University's Arts department while gesturing at the group's makeshift Haunted House. "We're done with all of this, right?" The quartet nodded their heads with collectives 'yeah'. "Great. The makeup's beginning to itch and it was getting hot underneath all that covering." She returned her gazed onto the university students. "So what are you gonna do after this? It's still light out and I'm sure everyone is heading to Itaewon for the real Halloween party later tonight."
"Haha, yes, that's right!" Seolbi grinned as she pointed at her friends while wriggling her eyebrows happily. "I set us up for another group date at eight with our very own Seouldae boys!" The other three let out loud groans. "I'll pass." Melanie declined while moving away from her friend. "I'm not doing those anymore." "Why not Chaewon unnie?" Seolbi pouted as Melanie rolled her eyes. "I already told you." "If Won's not going, then I don't want to go either." Haeryong claimed as she wrapped an arm around Chaewon. "I think I'm done and over with meeting boys through this group thing." "Boo." Seolbi blew a raspberry as Dasol laughed wrapping an arm around her friend's waist. "Don't worry, Seolbi. I guess I'll accompany you."
"Is there going to be free candy?" Haeryong asked with an interested look a second later. "Yes." Seolbi smiled. "Along with chicken and beer." "Call!" Haeyrong agreed as she turned her head to look at Melanie. "Say yes. Please, say yes." "No." Melanie deadpanned before breaking into a smile. "I want to go home and wash off all of this makeup. Jyongri unnie was right. It's beginning to itch." "Oh, Jyongri unnie. Why don't you join us?" Dasol suggested while looking hopefully at the older woman who just shook her head. "I'll pass, too." The other three groaned as Melanie laughed. "She understands me." "You're no fun, Won." Dasol pulled a face as everyone else laughed. "Alright, we need to clean up and that's it." Seolbi announced as the group went about doing so.
An hour later the sisters were on their way back to Serena's apartment while still wearing their costumes as they were too lazy to change out of it. Also they didn't want to bother as they would still have to change once back home to shower. Besides, it was Halloween and the sisters were going to enjoy wearing their costumes for this holiday as they didn't really dress up that often for any of the other holidays. On the way back home Serena decided to drop by Fairy Sweets due to her craving for bubble tea. While she and Melanie were waiting in line to order as the shop was quite busy today, Serena happened to spot two familiar faces and pointed them out for her sister to see just to make sure if they were who she thought they were.
"Hey, Lani." Serena called for Melanie's attention. "What, Rere?" Melanie asked while still gazing at the menu board. "Aren't those your two friends from school, right?" Serena indicated to the two girls both dressed in some cute yet short dresses as Melanie turned her head to where Serena was looking at. "Wow. Serioiusly?" Melanie let out in disgust at seeing the two here in Cheongdam instead of at school. "I honestly bet they came here just to see GOT7 again." "Are they still doing that?" "Yeah. I also found out that the two are actually cousins and not friends." "Wow, really?" "Yeah." "How?" "Dayoon let it slipped a while back and she's been hanging out with Yerim more often." "Makes sense if Yerim is the one dragging Dayoon around with her just to look for GOT7 and other idols." "Yeah, I know."
Melanie returned her attention back towards the menu board. "Luckily my hair isn't partially blue anymore or they would have recognized me already." "True." Serena agreed as she also returned her gazed onto the menu board. "Let's just order and go." "I know, but that's not gonna help speed up the line though." "Obviously." The duo waited a few more minutes before they got a chance to order and they even got their order half off due to their costumes along with a free chocolate chip cookie each. Luckily, they got their drinks quickly and were able to leave the store without being noticed by the other two as they left to head back home.
While riding the elevator up to the fifth floor and still drinking their boba as the duo had already finished their cookie on the way over Melanie and Serena had totally forgotten that they were still dressed up as scary beings. So when the elevator's door opened the other people on the other side instantly let out loud screams and one even threw their bag at them. "What the fuck?" Serena let out in annoyance upon being hit by a bag and making her dropped her bubble tea. On the other hand, Melanie was holding in her laughter at seeing Serena's misfortune while still happily drinking her boba. "You good, Lina?" "No, Lani, I'm not." Serena pouted as she bent down to pick up the item and used her dress to wipe up the mess.
"Serena and Melanie?" A male voice asked while using their English names causing the sisters to look over at the group that had let out screams earlier. "What's up, guys?" Melanie greeted GOT7 who were also wearing their own Halloween costumes while speaking in Korean this time. "Which one of you threw their bag at Jyongri unnie?" Everyone pointed at BamBam who pointed at Yugyeom. "Figures." Serena deadpanned as she passed the idol back his bag while stepping out of the elevator with Melanie in tow. "Where did you guys come from to be dressed like that?" Jinyoung asked a second later. "My school's Halloween project." Melanie answered as she gave them all a look upon analyzing their costumes better. "Where are you guys off to all dressed up?"
"A company event." Jaebeom replied although it was kind of hard to hear him through his Bart Simpson costume as Melanie laughed. "You would dress up as Bart Simpson." "It's Im Bart." Jaebeom corrected with a laugh as he removed the head off of him. "I see." Melanie smiled and looked at Jinyoung. "The main guy from Descendants of the Sun, right?" "Yeah, although that makes me the main lead." Jinyoung nodded with a smile while Serena noticed that a member was missing. "Is Youngjae still not feeling well?" "Yeah, he's with Coco and just resting." Mark responded as the sisters noticed that he and Jackson were the Mario Brothers. "You guys would be dressed like them." Serena commented as Jackson grinned while speaking in a fake Italian accent. "I'm Mario!"
"And I'm Luigi!" Mark said after also speaking in a fake Italian accent. "Of course." Serena chuckled before looking at BamBam. "Are you supposed to be Dracula?" "No. I'm Bampire." BamBam laughed while making a weird face as the sisters rolled their eyes at his pun of a joke. "Of course you are." Melanie said as she cast a smile in Yugyeom's direction. "You make a cute minion, Yugyeom." Melanie complimented seeing the giant idol in overalls. "Thank you, Chaewon noona." Yugyeom shyly thanked her upon hearing the complimented. "What are you supposed to be?" "A voodoo doll." Melanie smirked while holding up her buddy that was attached to her wrist by a chain this whole time and made the doll waved at them.
"What about you, Jyongri noona? What are you supposed to be?" Yugyeom asked Serena as she was about to sneak away. "A zombie bride." She answered tiredly as Jackson playfully asked, "What happened to your zombie groom,". "I killed him after our honeymoon and ate his internal organs afterwards. His brain was quite delicious and made my hair become black again." Serena smirked in a creepy manner which caused Jackson to back away in slight fear. The others laughed at his behavior as Mark commented on her hair. "Oh, you're back to black now?" "Yeah, my friend set me up again and I was missing my natural hair color, too." Serena answered while playing with her locks. "It's weird, but I'm happy with it.
Jinyoung remembered where they had to be. "Sorry, but we need to get going." Melanie also remembered something. "Be careful. Yerim and Dayoon are around the area, too." "Thanks, Chaewon noona. We'll try to be careful." Jaebeom smiled as Melanie smiled back. "Welcome." "Have fun at the party." Serena told them from her apartment door and waved. "Thanks, noona." The others said with a small smile before stepping into the elevator where they were still holding it opened since the girls stepped out of it. "Welcome!" Serena happily said as she entered her apartment after giving them one last wave. "Yeah, take real care and hope y'all win stuff. Bye" Melanie said making her way to 501. "Thanks, noona!" GOT7 said as they entered the elevator and Melanie bid one last goodbye before entering the apartment.
~~~~~~~
GOT7 returned to their dorm around midnight after their company function. The group of six were surprised to discovered Youngjae in a sea otter onesie, Melanie dressed in a blue koala summer onesie, Serena dressed in a white and brown cat hoodie with a brown kitty face mask, and Coco dressed in a Pikachu onesie who were all knocked out on the sectional in the living room with the movie, Halloweentown High, still left playing. The living room was filled with different types of popcorn, candy corn, and other yummy goodies that the sisters had brought over to keep Youngjae company since he couldn't attend the company party with the others. Plus, the sisters had nothing else better to do and thought it would be fun to hang out with the male idol.
"What is this? Guys, do you all see what I think I'm seeing?" BamBam asked while pointing between the two sisters and looking at the other members. "This is real, right?" The other five nodded their heads still speechless by the scene while Yugyeom tried to look at the sisters closely to tell who was who. "Which one is Jyongri noona and which one is Chaewon noona?" Melanie's koala hoodie was covering the majority of the upper part of her face along with her hair practically hiding the rest while Serena's face mask was only covering the lower part of her face, but she was also sleeping on her side and her head turned slightly away from the males' view.
"I'm pretty sure that's Chaewon noona." Jackson stated confidently while pointing at Serena "And that's Jyongri noona." He pointed at Melanie a second later. "Wait, guys. The more important question is, should we wake them up or leave them be?" Jinyoung whispered as to not disturbed the quartet's sleep. Coco soon stirred, opened her eyes to stare at the group of six, and Mark scooped her up gently so that he could keep her from making any noises while casting his eyes onto the still sleeping trio. "Well, Coco's up." The group held their breaths and froze upon seeing Serena stir awake, sat upright, and finally turned to face them while rubbing the sleep from her eyes. "When did you guys get back?"
"Just now." Jaebeom answered as Serena nodded. "Ah, okay." She looked over at Melanie's sleeping form. "I'll wake her and we can go back." She noticed that their manager wasn't with them either or maybe he was, but she was still asleep if he came in. "Where's your manager?" "He went with the others to Itaewon." Jinyoung informed her with a laugh. "I see." "You know you can just spend the night here, too, noona." BamBam offered with a smile. "Since we've slept at your place, too." "I could, but I would rather sleep in my bed instead of on your couch." Serena chuckled as she stood up and stretched before removing the face mask down to talk and breathe better.
"We thought Youngjae may be feeling left out since y'all went to the company without him and so Chaewon and I figured we'd hang out with him for the night." Serena explained as she made her way to her sister. "It was kind of fun, actually." She patted Melanie on the thigh while calling her name, but the younger woman didn't budge. "I swear this girl can sleep through a storm and won't even know it." Serena muttered in English as she was about to try again to wake her up, but Jaebeom interrupted her. "Why don't I carry her back to your place to save you the trouble, Jyongri noona?" She looked at the idol while standing upright again. "You sure?" "Yeah, I don't mind." "If you want." "I do."
Serena stared at his costume with a small smile. "Are you sure you'll be able to carry her while wearing that, JB?" She pointed at his costume where he was still holding onto the head piece. "Let me get out of this and then I'll help." The male chuckled as he rushed towards his room he shared with Youngjae. "Yeah, we're going to change, too, noona." BamBam motioned at himself and Yugyeom as they followed after Jaebeom a second later. "Yeah, we'll be back, too. Don't you go anywhere, noona." Jackson grinned as he pulled himself and Mark towards their shared room with Coco still in Mark's arms. Jinyoung rolled his eyes, but looked at Serena with a soft smile. "Thanks for keeping Youngjae company."
"It's all good. Why don't you change back into regular clothes, too." Serena told the younger man with a smile as she sat at the empty space by her sister. "Okay." Jinyoung nodded his head as he walked off leaving her and the other two. A second later Serena slid to the floor and began eating the candy while watching the rest of Halloweentown High. The group of six returned to the living room shortly after as Serena stood back up. "I don't need all of you to help me, right?" She asked in a teasing manner as the others shook their heads with soft smiles before speaking again. "Anyways, JB, squat down in front of Chaewon so I can put my sister on your back for you to piggyback her back to my place."
"Okay." Jaebeom complied without hesitation as he squatted while Serena later with the help of Jackson and Jinyoung placed Melanie onto Jaebeom's back. "You're good, right?" "Yeah, noona. No problem." He smiled as he held the back of Melanie's calves to secure her so that Melanie wouldn't fall off of him. "Alright, good to go." Serena made sure that Melanie was safely on Jaebeom's back before looking around to grab both of hers and her sister's belongings along with some other things, but was struggling. "Here, let me help." Mark told her as he took some of her things after placing Coco into Jackson's arms. "Thank you, Mark." She smiled at him while looking at the others. "You guys can have the rest of these. I still have plenty more at home."
"Okay! Awesome! Thanks, noona!" Both Yugyeom and BamBam thanked the older woman as they were already eating the popcorn and candies while sitting on the floor. "You guys should get going unless JB hyung doesn't mind having Chaewon noona sleeping on his back until she wakes up." Jackson chuckled while petting Coco who was slowly falling back to sleep. "Don't worry, we're leaving." Serena chuckled as she re-adjusted her bag onto her shoulder. "We'll be back." Jaebeom told his members as he, Mark, and Serena began making their way out of the apartment. "Don't worry, hyung. I got it from here." Jinyoung said as he waved the quartet off with a slight smirk.
~~~~~~~
'Her room is down that way." Serena pointed down the hallway once the group of four were inside apartment 501. "It's the last one on the right, JB. Do you want me to follow you?" "No it's all good. I got it. Thanks, noona." Jaebeom assured Serena with a smile as he made his way to Melanie's room leaving Mark to follow Serena into the kitchen. "That's a nice costume compare to the one you wore earlier." Mark commented in English as Serena smiled. "One of my sister-in-laws got it for me for my birthday." She set her bags onto the counter whereas Mark set the others onto the dining table. "What time did you and Melanie visit Youngjae?" "I think it was like at nine or something when we headed over. I forgot. We messaged one another through Kakao."
"You guys have each other on Kakaotalk?" Mark asked a bit surprised by the revelation, but Serena didn't catch it as she was too busy sorting through the bags for something. "Yeah, but we hardly messaged until today. He was really bored." Serena chuckled as she pulled out a bag of candy corn. "Here they are." She pushed the hoodie down while freeing her hair and ate a few of the candy corn happily. Mark chuckled at the sight of her. "You're such a kid, Serena." Serena blew a raspberry at him before popping another one into his mouth. He ruffled her hair as Serena swiftly moved out from under his hand and tried to fix her hair. "I told you to stop doing that." "I would if you weren't so cute." "Ew. I'm not cute." Mark didn't respond, but let out a laugh.
Meanwhile Jaebeom easily opened Melanie's bedroom door and used the hallway's lights to shine upon the darkness of Melanie's room for him to see without turning on the main light. Jaebeom first moved Melanie's blanket towards the bottom of the bed so that she wouldn't be sleeping on it before he gently maneuvered Melanie from his back to the front of him before settling her onto her bed and later tucking her in. Jaebeom loomed over Melanie with a soft smile while brushing a few strands of her hair from her face. "Sweet dreams, Chaewon." He moved the hood of the onesie off of her head. "You make a cute koala, too." He softly chuckled as he stood back up and slowly made his way out of Melanie's room and shutting the door quietly.
Jaebeom found the other two in the kitchen and announced his presence a moment later. "Chaewon noona is tucked in safe and sound, Jyongri noona." He smiled at Serena who chuckled at his words. "Awesome. Thanks a lot, JB. I appreciated it." "You're welcome. Glad to be of help." Jaebeom looked at Mark. "Ready to go hyung?" "Yeah. I'll meet you at the dorm." Mark told him as Jaebeom nodded his head. "Sounds good." Jaebeom looked over at Serena. "Good night, noona." "Good night, JB. Take care and thanks again." "You're welcome and I will." He looked at the older member. "I'll see you back at the dorm." "Okay." Mark told him with a small wave as Jaebeom left first with Mark still lingering behind.
"So, what do you want, Mark?" Serena asked him as she began putting away some of the things. "What makes you think that?" Mark asked as he assisted her. "Obviously because you're still here." "I can't hang out with my home girl?" "Last time I checked we weren't homies, Mark." "Ouch, Serena. Still gotta play me like that?" He feigned being hurt while clutching at his chest. "Really?" Serena laughed at the idol's reaction. "Jackson must have rubbed off on you over the years." "Yeah, he did, unfortunately." Mark agreed as he returned back to his normal self. "But still, Serena, are we not friends?" "I guess we can be friends, Mark." "I guess I can take that for now, Serena." "Good, because I'm tired and you need to go sleep, too."
"Why does it feel like you're kicking me out?" Mark asked with a smile as he made his way towards her door with Serena following after him with a rolled of her eyes. "Because I am." Serena confirmed with a laugh as Mark rolled his eyes. "Should've known." "Stop being a kid. You'll get over it." "I'm a grown man, Serena, thank you very much." "Yeah, sure, whatever man child." "Now that's better. Thanks." "You're not welcome." "Honest as ever I see." "Yup." Serena laughed as she opened the door for Mark to leave. "Have a good night, Mark, and take care." "You, too, Serena." Mark told her as he reached a hand out to pat her on the head and Serena swatted his hand away. "Tell the others good night." "Nah, you can do that." Mark smirked as Serena rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Later." "Haha, okay. Later."
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
PRB 2019 15-1
Here is my contribution to the @phandomreversebang 2019! I had a lot of fun writing this fic and I would like to thank @loyal-phan and @sublimehowlter for being an amazing artist and beta!Â
AO3 Link:Â https://archiveofourown.org/works/19930063
The first thing that I register after hitting the damp pavement is that someone is frantically apologizing to me. When I open my eyes I see a tall dark-haired, blue-eyed man offering me a hand. I take it. His hands are smooth and warm, and I realize that I might have been holding on a second longer than acceptable.
âOh god, I am so sorry!â Iâm startled out of my embarrassment by another wave of hurried apologies.
âI was just walking Simon,â at that, I look down to a very adorable corgi sitting obediently at the man's feet âand I wasnât paying attention and next thing I know-â âCan I pet your dog?âÂ
âCan you-? Um, yeah. SureâÂ
I bend down and start scratching the dog, evidently named Simon, behind his ears.
âWhat a good boy you are! What a sweet boy.â I hear the man laughing and quickly stand up my cheeks bright red.
âSorry,â I mumble
âNo, itâs alright! I act the same way whenever I see a dog. I should be the one apologizing, your clothes are all wet now.â
âItâs alright, I was on my way home from work anyway.â
âAre you sure? I feel terrible about it.â
âNo really itâs fine, uh,â I break off not sure what his name is.
âPhil.â He supplies with a smile.
âItâs alright Phil.â
âWell, if youâre sure.â
âIâm sure. It was nice running into you, Phil.â
âYeah, nice seeing you.â
---
By the time I get home my legs are starting to chafe from the wet denim. Itâs alright though, the cute dog more than made up for it. Itâs a good thing it happened on my way home from work, however. It would have been hell waiting tables all day with wet jeans. And as kind as my boss is, she never goes easy on us. Especially on Sundays, which just so happens to be our busiest day.Â
After a delicious yet slightly pathetic dinner of cold pizza, thoughts of Phil and his dog invade my brain. Out of curiosity I pull out my phone and type Phil into the Instagram search bar. Of course, millions of results pop up. I didnât have high hopes, but there was a small part of me holding on to the hope that I might be able to find his account using only his first name.
After my fruitless Instagram search, I find myself drifting towards my bed, despite it only being around 9:45. Oh well, long day I guess. Surprisingly, since it normally takes me ages to fall asleep, I find my eyes drifting shut the minute I hit the mattress.
---
I wake up early, for once, which means I actually have time to enjoy my morning rather than throwing on yesterdayâs clothes and quite literally running out the door. I take my time getting out of bed, stopping to look at my phone and take time to wake up. When I finally reach my small kitchen (which didnât take very long considering how small my flat is) I realize that I have no coffee. I let out a disgruntled sigh as I come to terms with the fact that if I want caffeine, which I do, that Iâll have to head to work early putting my lazy morning to a halt. I grab my keys and head out.
I take my time walking to work, choosing to take the scenic route. Rather than the normal path I take, which has a superb view of trash cans and shady alleyways, today's route is lined with shops and restaurants and a Starbucks. The prospect of going and getting a latte of some sort seems much more appealing than getting a black coffee in a chipped mug. The minute I walk in Iâm hit with a wave of warm air. A pleasant contrast to the icy weather outside. I start to head up to the counter, but I stop in my tracks when I come face to face with a pair of familiar blue eyes.Â
âDan!â Phil says with a smile on his face. âWhat a coincidence!â
I find a smile growing on my face, what can I say? Something about his unwavering happiness is infectious.
âOh, hi Phil!â
âCan I get you a coffee? I mean obviously, Iâm assuming that's why you're here.â
âUh-â I donât come here very often, and the combination of my awkwardness in social situations and my lack of familiarity with the menu has me tripping over my words. âSurprise me? Just something with caffeine please.â
âYou got it,â Phil responds with a chuckle. I start to pull out my wallet but he cuts me off. âDonât worry about it, this oneâs on the house.â
âItâs fine Phil, really.â
âNo seriously, itâs the least I can do after running you over yesterday.â
âWell if you insist. Iâve never been one to turn down free coffee.â I say with a small laugh.Â
Phil smiles, before motioning over at the station. âWell if thatâs all, Iâm just going to go make your coffee.â He awkwardly gestures before walking away. I pull out my phone, scrolling through my Instagram feed while I wait for my coffee. After a few minutes, I see Phil walking back over with a cup in his hand. He hands it to me and looks up expectantly, waiting for me to take a sip.Â
âJesus Phil, this is incredible! What is this?â He laughs
âCaramel Macchiato. My personal favorite.â
âWell if your choice in drinks is always this good you're going to have to surprise me again next time.â My phone buzzes with an alarm reminding me that I have obligations.Â
âOh shit, I have to go, hopefully, Iâll run into you again soon.â
âYeah, see you soon.â
Itâs not until Iâm almost at work that I notice a phone number messily scrawled onto the side of my cup.
---
I spend the majority of my break writing and deleting texts to Phil. Heâs cute, there's no denying that, and he gave me his number, but it was probably just a friendly gesture. He seems like the type of person who makes friends with everyone. After many texts that I decide are either cringy, boring, or a combination of the two I settled on a simple but reliable âHi its dan :)â and force myself to press send. I spend the last few minutes of my break opening and closing my phone and jumping every time my phone dings. In order to keep the anxiety at bay, I keep reminding myself that heâs at work;Â it makes sense if he doesnât respond. Just because Iâm on my break doesnât mean heâs on his. Eventually, I have to go back to work, leaving my phone and a supposedly unread text in the pocket of my jacket.Â
 All throughout the rest of my shift, my walk home, and while making and eating dinner, I try and fail, to forget about my text to Phil. Finally, after Iâve eaten and sunk into my bed for some quality binge-watching time, my phone buzzes. As I reach over, it buzzes again. And then a third time. I laugh to myself as I open my messages to see three texts from Phil.
Hi!!! soz I took so long to reply ^-^Â
have a dog to make up for it
what a good boy!
Is that simon????Â
yes! Im surprised you remembered his name lol
hes the reason i knocked you down yesterdayÂ
well if hes the reason i really cant complain
in fact i feel blessed to have been knocked down by that angel
maybe youd want to meet him again? maybe this time without ending up on the ground lol
I hesitate what to say to that, it feels risky meeting up with Phil. Even if he seems friendly, I did only meet him yesterday. But I also donât want to pass up the opportunity to get to know him better.Â
um yes?
Yay! do you want to meet up tomorrow? Im off of work
yee
starbucks?
sure, me and simon cant wait :)
We end up texting for a while after that. Originally we were just arranging a time to meet, but it slowly turned into Phil asking me about my job, which led to many other things. The more I talked to Phil the more I liked him. We had very similar interests. We had the same taste in video games, music, and even takeaway places. Not to mention talking to Phil felt easy. Social interaction isn't exactly my forte, but with Phil, the conversation flowed smoothly. It would be nice to have a friend outside of work. I love my coworkers and my boss, but itâs not really the same. Besides, the diner is more a family to me than anything. Finally, the conversation winds down, both of us beginning to fall asleep. Even though Iâm no longer texting him, I canât stop thinking about Phil as I fall asleep.Â
---
The next day is sunny. A welcome change from the perpetual moistness that has haunted London for the last few days. I spend most of the morning laying in bed scrolling through social media. Not the healthiest past time Iâll admit, but once I get started on the Instagram explore page itâs hard to tear myself away. Eventually, I look at the time and realize that I only have about an hour before Iâm supposed to meet Phil. After five more minutes, I drag myself out of bed and towards the shower.Â
Several outfit changes later, Starbucks is finally within my line of vision. I check the time to see that I still have a few minutes before Phil is due to get here so I take a seat on a bench and resume my scrolling. Not long after I sit down, however, I am attacked by a bundle of saliva and tan fur, accompanied by frantic calls of âSimon down!â.Â
âHello there!â I say bringing my hands up to try and protect myself from the onslaught of dog.Â
âIâm so sorry about him, normally heâs so well behaved, I donât know why he always jumps on you.â
âItâs really not a problem, Phil,â I say laughing.Â
âWell if you insist I guess. Do you want a coffee or anything while we're here?â
âIâm fine, I donât want to keep you and Simon waiting.â
âOh, well if you donât mind I thought you could stay out here with Simon and I could go in and order.â
âI mean Iâm always up for hanging out with dogs, but I really canât have you buying me another coffee.â
âSeriously Dan, itâs fine. Think of it as a gift from Simon. Besides, I have an employee discount.â
I shrug, smiling. I take Simonâs leash from Phil and sit back down.
âOh, Dan, what do you want?â I find myself breaking into a giant grin, enough to make my dimples pop.Â
âSurprise me.â
---
Two sugary coffees later and more walking then I do on a normal day, Phil and I are tossing tennis balls at a dog park.Â
âThis is one of my favourite places to go with him,â Phil says, gesturing at Simon. âItâs a nice change of pace to be outside rather than stuck on a pavement block all day.â
âMm. What else do you like to do in your spare time?â
âUh, well, to be honest, I donât really go outside that much. I pretty much spend the rest of my time staying inside on the internet.âÂ
âMe neither to be honest, I spend most of my free time participating in online Mario Kart tournaments, as sad as that seems.â
âYou play Mario Kart? We should race sometime.â âOnly if you want to lose, Philip.â
âOh really? Pretty confident for never having seen me play.â
âWhile I guess weâll have to change that.â
âItâs a date. Well I mean, not a date date, unless you wanted to. But I mean, I donât want to presume-â
âPhil, Phil, donât worry, a date sounds nice. Although, to be honest, Iâve never been asked on a Mario Kart date before. But it does sound much more my style than a fancy dinner. â
âMe too, Iâm not much of an extrovert. Oh shit, itâs getting dark. I should probably head home, but Iâll text you yeah?âÂ
âYeah sounds great. And Phil?â
âYeah?â âI definitely prefer your company to video games.â
---
It takes a couple of weeks to find a date that works for both of us, first because of work, and then Phil got sick, and then I got sick. But, on the bright side, we spend almost all of that time texting and face timing, and occasionally I run into him at Starbucks when Iâm grabbing a coffee. Unfortunately, my minimum wage and tips donât cover daily overpriced coffee, even if it means I get to see a very nice, attractive, person.Â
On the bright side, we did eventually find a time. That time happens to be tonight, and to say Iâm nervous would be an understatement. I end up spending about 45 minutes sorting through every article of clothing that I own before finally settling on jeans and a jumper, an outfit that is safe but far from extraordinary. After getting dressed I spend longer than necessary trying to get my hair to cooperate. Eventually, I just give up and call a cab. One extremely awkward cab ride later and Iâm standing outside Philâs door. I take a deep breath and raise my hand but before I get a chance to knock the door swings open.
âDan! Hi! Come in, Iâm sorry about the mess, I tried to clean but it's still pretty untidy.â I look down at my feet to see Simon wagging his tail excitedly. âItâs alright, my apartment is probably twice as bad.â As I walk into Philâs flat and take my shoes off I notice that every surface is covered in something. The bookshelves are covered in plushies and figurines, the windowsills are adorned with plants in a questionable state of health, and the couch has a colourful blue and green quilt draped over the back. All in all, it just looks very Phil.Â
âIf you want you can have a seat on the couch and I can order a pizza. What type do you like?â Iâm startled out of my thoughts by Philâs voice. I smile, feeling more content with my life then I have in a long time.Â
âSurprise me.â
~10 years later~
âThe last ten years havenât been easy. Thereâs been ups and downs, fortunately mostly ups. But you have been by my side for all of it. People and places have changed but you have remained a constant. I donât know what life will bring, but I know I want you to be with me. I want to fall asleep next to you every night and wake up next to you every morning. So, Phil Lester, will you marry me?â
5 notes
·
View notes
Note
How do you write Connor so well? Could you share some writing tips?
Thatâs really sweet of you to say. Honestly, itâs just me trying to pick up on every little thing we actually know about Connor and filling in my own interpretations of what they mean. We really donât know that much about Connor. Heâs only in the beginning of the play then throughout you get little snippets of his life from other charactersâŠbut itâs not that much to go off of. Even then, itâs how they saw him which can we a warped version of what he actually was. When Iâm writing him, I try not to focus on Evanâs Connor because heâs only a projection of Evanâs own self. Itâs important to remember that heâs not Connor. Heâs Evan. Thatâs Evanâs mind talking to him using Connorâs face but itâs not Connor himself. Heâs not a ghost coming back to talk to this random kid heâs interacted with once or twice. Heâs 100% Evanâs mind projecting.
So then you have to focus on what you actually know about him. Iâm gonna dissect it because I literally love analyzing characters itâs my favorite thing in the entire world. You didnât ask for this but Iâm doing it anyway yolo (im sorry).
The first time we meet Connor is at the breakfast scene. What do we know about that scene?:
Connor doesnât want to go to school.
It is the very first day of his senior year. Not many people skip the very first day of school. Itâs supposed to be a fairly easy, chill, exciting day to most people. Getting to know your teachers, seeing friends, catching up with people, not much work etc. Iâm going off of my own school experience to analyze this bit: Skipping/Not wanting to go/Having anxiety over going doesnât mean youâre lazy and donât like work. It generally means that you feel uncomfortable, anxious, lonely, scared about having to navigate the world of school and your peers. Connor doesnât have friends. Going to school, sitting in class, doing group projects, eating lunch, doing anything in school alone and without friends is fucking hard. Itâs awful. Â Itâs not a surprise he doesnât want to go.
Connor is high.
Judging from typical school days, itâs probably somewhere between 6 - 7 in the morning. Thatâs early. Thatâs someone who wakes up and immediate gets high. AND itâs the first day of school. Thatâs someone who needs something to help them cope just to get through the day. He needs something to help him take the edge off of life because doing it without anything is a daunting thought.
Cynthia also says âI donât want you going to school high Connor. Weâve talked about this.â Which implies that this a fairly regular thing for him.
Connor reacts negatively when Zoe speaks but ignores Larry. Â
Okay so I love this bit because my psychology loving self adores this kind of shit. Itâs amazing and beautifully done and asdlhfal;ksd
After Cynthia tries to get Larry involved with making sure Connor goes to school. Larry says, âWhat do you want me to do? He doesnât listen. Look at him. Heâs probably high.â Connor stays quiet. Then Zoe confirms Larryâs statement and says, âHeâs definitely high.â And Connor responds with a âFuck you!â
Every time Larry speaks Connor stays quiet. His body language in the scene involves Connor resting his arm on the side of his head and, by doing so, is putting some sort of physical barrier between his facial expressions and his dad sitting next to him.
If I recall correctly, I donât think Connor ever once actually speaks to his dad??? Larry talks at him but Connor never responds. No words are ever spoken from him to Larry. (I think, I could be wrong)
SO the point here is that Connor doesnât say shit when Larry is nagging at him but the second Zoe opens her mouth to do the same he immediately responds with a big âfuck youâ and puts his head down on the table.
The way I analyze that scene is that the fuck you was really meant for Larry, that he was pissed off at his father, but he took it out on Zoe. He redirected his anger onto his sister because itâs a lot easier to take advantage of a younger sibling then the head of your household.
Judging from how Zoe speaks about him later in the play, he probably redirected a lot of his anger onto her and it really messed her up.
Him not speaking up to Larry could also mean that Connor is potentially afraid of him?
The second time we see Connor is at school with Jared and Evan:
Connor cares what people think about him and heâs bullied.Â
Jared says, âHey Connor. Loving the new hair length. Very school shooter chic.â Connor responds by staring at him with this perplexed look of wtf dude seriously. He was just nagged at home, forced to go to school when heâs clearly uncomfortable about doing that, and then he gets there only to be antagonized by Jared who pretty much refers to him as someone who slaughters innocent people.
His âwtf dudeâ look is totally justified in my opinion. Â
Jared then says that he was just kidding and that it was a joke. To which Connor replies with âYeah no it was funny. Iâm laughing canât you tell.â His tone starts out light and sarcastic. When Jared doesnât respond, he steps closer to him and voice raises. âAm I not laughing hard enough for you?â Heâs clearly offended by what Jared said.
Jared calls him a freak and walks away.
He gets bullied by Jared so he turns around and becomes the bully to Evan.
Like he did with Zoe, Connor redirects his pain onto people he know wonât fight back or who he views as weaker than him.
Evan nervous laughs when heâs left alone with Connor. Connor can probably see that Evan is scared of him and uses that to his advantage. He says the whole, âWhat the fuck are you laughing at? Stop fucking laughing at me?ââ Stop laughing at me. Not laughing at what Jared said. But specifically laughing at Connor himself. Connor doesnât want people laughing at him because he cares what they think about him. âYou think Iâm the freak? Iâm not the freak. Youâre the fucking freak.â He yells at Evan and pushes him to the ground.
People have all obviously analyzed all these scenes before. Iâm not close to the first one to say it, but obviously, these are words he wishes he could say to Jared and Evan is the surrogate for his rage.
And finally we have the very last scene that Connor is in which is the computer lab scene:
Connor is apologetic after he loses his temper.
He sees Evan, who has clearly been crying. I think itâs unknown how long Connor was actually in the room with him/if he overheard the phone call with Evanâs mom. Iâm assuming that Evan wasnât actually speaking out loud when he was writing his letter, that it was more for the audience to know what he was writing. So if Connor had been in the room and listening, he could have heard Evanâs side of the phone call and seen him quietly crying on his laptop while writing something then print it out. Since he was near the printer, he took the paper to give to him. He didnât have to do that. He wanted to.
I think he wanted an excuse to talk to Evan again after he pushed him. He probably felt bad. I feel like he views Evan as someone whoâs harmless and unintimidating, which is why it was easy for him to channel his anger onto, but then he started to regret that choice, so he tried to reach out.
He never actually apologizes with words and instead tries to do it through actions. I bet you that Larry does the exact same thing too but Connor probably never realized or picked up on it. (I could do a full character study on Larry too omg heâs a great specimen to take apart and a fantastically flawed character like everyone else in the show its beautiful fuck)
Heâs got a dark sense of humor.
When finding out Evan broke his arm from falling out of a tree, he replies with a âThatâs the saddest fucking thing I ever heard.â But he doesnât say it in a mean way. He smiles and laughs under his breath.
HE WAS TELLING A JOKE. He was trying his best to be nice to Evan and lightly joke around with him but I doubt they have similar styles of humor. I think itâs the only time Connor actually genuinely smiles too??
And Evan doesnât really laugh. Itâs more of a nervous âplz donât hurt me again ur a lil scaryâ kinda laugh. So Connor backs off and changes the subject.
Heâs observant.
He notices that no one signed Evanâs cast.Â
He noticed that Evan has no friends hence the ânow we can both pretend we have friendsâ line.Â
He noticed Evanâs sad and alone so heâs making an effort to be nice to him.Â
He noticed that he printed a piece of paper and that it would be a good ice breaker.Â
Heâs quiet and he notices things. Itâs subtle but itâs there. I bet you Connor secretly knows everything about everyone.Â
The boy just wants a damn friend.Â
Heâs lonely. Evanâs clearly lonely. Why not try to befriend him?
Heâs signs his cast super big so it takes up the whole arm. For one, it gets a laugh out of the audience. But two, he kinda knows that no one else will sign it so he makes his name extra big so everyone will see and know that both of them arenât alone/friendless.
This is also interesting to me because I wonder if Connor knew he was going to kill himself then. Often times suicide is something people plan out ahead of time. I wonder if he knew what he was going to do and I wonder if writing that on Evanâs arm was a secret way for him to leave something semi permanent behind. A way to be sure that someone would remember him when heâs gone. If thatâs the case then that was some powerful shit to slip in and it hurts my soul.
Heâs angry and paranoid and suicidal.
So obviously Connor reads Evan note to himself, thinks itâs about him, freaks out and leaves. Thatâs the last time we see Connor.
Iâve looked at this scene in a few different ways. The first way I see it is that Connor could of had symptoms of paranoia. He sees his sisterâs name and his first thought is that Evan did this in a malicious manor. He views people as out to get him. It doesnât take much to set him off. Heâs got a lot of anger inside of him that he doesnât know how to release in a healthy way so it ends up with him blowing up over the slightest little bumps in the road.
The second way I view it is a little different. If Iâm thinking about my point before (about him already having plans to kill himself) then I wonder if he was just using the paper as an excuse to get angry and leave. He had already made his mark using Evanâs cast. His name was there. He technically didnât need Evan anymore. Thus he âfreaks outâ over this paper and it helps fuel his desires to end his own life. As someone who has been suicidal in the past, I understand wanting to find every excuse you can to help end things, to justify what youâre doing, and to push people away. Itâs a super fucked up way of thinking but, when you put yourself into that mindset, I donât think itâs that crazy of an idea.
âIs this about my sister? You wrote this because you knew Iâd find it.â (Hinting at the paranoia point) âYeah you, uh, saw that I was the only other person in the computer lab.â (Mentally trying to convince himself to believe that Evan did this on purpose, even though it goes against everything he already knows about Evan) âSo I could read some creepy shit you wrote about my sister and freak out, right?â (here comes the anger) âThen you could tell everybody that Iâm crazy! Right?! Fuck you!â (cue the storm off)
And then we hear from Evan that Connor hasnât been in school for three days.
And eventually we find out why.
From everything that Connor, himself, has told us heâs deeply hurting. Heâs quiet. Observant. Heâs got many unchecked mental health issues. He doesnât feel heard. Heâs lonely. He uses coping methods to get by. He has little to no self worth. He carries around a lot of guilt. He acts out on people he know wonât fight him back. Probably because he needs to feel superior because everywhere else in his life he feels stepped on. He is both a bully and bullied. He had little regard for strong authority aka Larry. He craves personal connections but doesnât know how to obtain them or keep them. Heâs broken. So thatâs how I try my best to write him.
THEN we have what everyone else tells us about Connor. This should all be taken with a grain of salt because everyone views people differently but their words shouldnât be totally disregarded either. (Yes Iâm going to go on longer even though you never asked for this IâM SORRY I CANâT STOP NOW) So letâs see what little Connor character traits we can find out from other people that could be potentially used for writing him in the future.
The scene during For Forever tells a lot of about Connor through his family:
Zoe: Connor wasnât very nice so that makes sense.
Cynthia: Connor wasâŠa complicated person.
Zoe: No. Connor was a bad person. Thereâs a difference.
In response to finding out Connor pushed Evan. Zoe is shown to have no sympathy for her brotherâs actions while Cynthia continues to make excuses for him. I see that as Connor having no mercy on his sister but probably playing his mom to his advantage with what he knew he could get away with. Â
Cynthia: Did Connor tell you about the Harrisâ? We used to go skiing together, our families.
Zoe: Connor hated skiing.
Not a sports, activity kinda guy. Doesnât like things involving social gatherings. Not friendly.
Larry: Somebody had to be the bad guy.
In response to reading Connorâs emails. This one is a little iffy in regards to Connorâs character. Itâs more a Larry thing. Because I donât know if Connor was actually aware that his emails were read or not but either way it shows that he was completely not trusted by his family. Also that pointing out again that Cynthia was probably a push over when it came to Connor and he knew that.
Cynthia: We used to go to the orchard all the time. We;d do picnics there. Remember that Zoe?
Zoe: Yeah I do.
Cynthia: You and Connor had that little toy plane that you would fly. [to Larry, with sad laughter] Until you flew it into the creek.
Larry: No that was an emergency landing.
This is big. Things werenât always hell in the Murphy house. There were good memories. Sadly though good memories are often overshadowed by the bad ones. Connor seemed to cast a huge shadow over this family. But it is important to note that Connor and Zoe used to play together as children. Things. Arenât. Always. Awful. Connor wasnât a reckless beast. He can be written to be playful and funny and sarcastic and sweet. Just balance it out with the angst. People are complicated and have tons of depth so try to write them that way if you can.
Other things said at random points throughout the playâŠ
Jared:
âConnor Murphy is batshit out of his mind. Remember when he threw a printer at Mrs. G in second grade because he didnât get to be the line leader that day?Â
Connor has had anger issues since he was a child too.
Alana:Â
âStill canât believe the terrible news about @ connormurphy. I wouldnât say that we were friends exactly. More like acquaintances. We were in chemistry together. Iâm pretty sure. Also he was in my English class in 10th grade. Almost positive. Yeah he was definitely in my English class. Three days ago Connor Murphy was here and now hes gone. If Connor meant something to you please retweet or private message me if you just wanna talk. At time like thees we could all use a friend.â
Honestly, this says way more about Alanaâs character but it still mentions Connor so Iâm adding it.
But what I do get from this was the Connor has/had a twitter (or some form of social media, but Iâm assuming twitter since the âretweetâ bit) and Alana followed him on it?
âHe was one of my closest acquaintances. He was my lab partner in Chemistry and we presented on Huck Fin together in 10th grade. He was so funny. Instead of calling it, well, Huck FinâŠ[fades off]. Nobody else in our class thought of that.â
Again, speaks more to Alanaâs character than Connors. But I also wonder if this is actually true or if she made this up in a similar fashion to Evan in order to put herself in the storyâŠsince she didnât even recall if he was in those classes or not earlier.
BUT assuming that this was true, Connor doesnât seem to care much for school. Or he could have been trying to make jokes in order to gain friends. If he worked with Alana on projects, her personality would have steam rolled over his. I think she would be the type of person he would sit back and let take control and tell him what to do then just go along with it.
Zoe:Â
âJust because Connor isnât here, trying to punch through my door, screaming that heâs going to kill me for no reason, that doesnât mean that all of a sudden weâre the fucking Brady Bunch.âÂ
I meanâŠyikes.
âAfter all you put me through. Donât say it wasnât true. That you were not the monster that I knewâ
 This shit just breaks my damn heart. You are not the monster that I knew is one of my favorite lines in the entire play. In Zoeâs story, Connor is the villain. He hurt her. He abused her. And no one did anything about it to protect her or stop him. I havenât really had a chance to write too much of Zoe into my writings yet but I know that if/when I do, Connor is not going to be a kind character to her.
Larry:Â
âWe didnât think Connor had any friends.âÂ
All they found with Connor was Evanâs letter. I wonder how many times he reread it, if at all, before he died. Do you think he calmed down and looked at it again through a different light? This time maybe seeing how depressed and unhappy Evan was too? I wonder if he found comfort in that at all and thatâs why it was still in his pocket. Of course thatâs purely speculation on my part. He could have just shoved it in there and forgot it was there. Thatâs the beautiful thing about this play, thereâs a lot that the viewer can piece together and take away on their own. Things are never fed to you. They present them simply and let you take what you need from it.
Anyway, yeah, Connor had no friends. That point was already kinda clear though.
âI gave you the world. You threw it away.âÂ
Connor grew up in a well off family. They were rich. He literally could of had anything he wanted but he didnât. I take that as Connor not giving a shit about material items. He probably has little regard for things. You could write that as him throwing and breaking near by items if heâs mad or simply tossing things around and not caring abobut them. Whereas someone who grew up poor, would be more likely to take care of their things because they know they canât just get more.
âI didnât realize Connor meant this much to people.âÂ
In his fatherâs eyes, Connor didnât mean very much. He was probably able to pick up on that and it would affect his attitude and behavior to other people. If he felt he didnât mean much to his own father, then why would he ever be special to anyone else?
âHe left it in the bag with the tags still on.â
Larryâs weak attempt at reaching out to his son with a baseball glove. It was probably obvious to everyone that Connor was not a sports person. He probably hated baseball. But Larry likes it so he tried to force his hobbies onto Connor. It was received by Connor not even opening the gift. From Connorâs perspective, he could have taken that as a âwow my father knows literally nothing about me wtfâ where as Larry would have viewed that differently but this is not about Larry asd;kfja
âYour dad must feel pretty lucky to have a son like you.âÂ
Another great line in this play! It hurts my soul. Connor is a disappointment to his father. Larry wished Connor could have been something more than he was. Once again, this shit would weigh on Connorâs mind and fuck him up.
Cynthia:Â
âI donât remember the last time I heard him laugh.âÂ
That shit is dark yo. Connor doesnât laugh around his family. Heâs unhappy there.
âConnor didnât get invited to any bar mitzvahsâ [paraphrasing that quote]
Cynthia always had hope for Connor. I like to imagine Connor not being as nasty to his mother than everyone in the family. She really loved him and I hope he could feel that deep down.
And, of course, Evan:Â
âOver the summer I found this yearbook thing that our class made in 8th grade. Most people did collages of their friends. But Connorâs was a list of his ten favorite books.â
One of my favorite bits I like to write into stories is that Connor liked to read. For a middle school kid to have ten favorite books, and care enough about them to put them into a yearbook, is kinda of special. Books are methods of escapism to many people and I like to think Connor is included in that group.Â
OKAY IM GOING TO STOP THIS IS SO LONG I AM SO SORRY THIS WAS NOT THE RESPONSE YOU WERE LOOKING FOR I WROTE YOU A DUMB CHARACTER STUDY INSTEAD. THIS IS ALL HOW I SEE CONNOR SO ITâS HOW I TRY TO WRITE HIM YOU COULD SEE HIM SUPER DIFFERENTLY AND WRITE HIM DIFFERENTLY THATS WHAT IS SO GREAT ABOUT WRITING
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
So I got a couple of messages about the âstraight shipsâ post and I feel the need to clarify that I donât have any issue with people who donât ship m/f pairings. I wholeheartedly believe in letting people enjoy whatever ships they enjoy, but I have come across some people who berate those for enjoying straight ships. Iâve come across some people who have some kind of superiority complex over the fact that they donât ship straight ships. Iâve come across people who have acted like shipping a straight ship somehow makes you less accepting of non-straight ships. Iâve come across people who agree certain characters would make a good pairing but still argue against people shipping them simply because theyâre straight (which is what I think the OP meant by the first sentence about people who ârefuseâ to ship m/f pairings), like thereâs some kind of rule about it. Iâve even come across people who do like certain m/f pairings but have said that they feel like they shouldnât because theyâre straight and theyâve been pressured by other people.
I donât think thereâs anything wrong with people who donât ship straight ships (I ship very few myself) but I do think thereâs something wrong with acting like people who do are somehow homophobic or ignorant.
As I said, the wording in that post was much stronger than I would use for expressing that idea, but I still agree with the idea. Shipping is supposed to be fun so, if people ship straight couples, just let them enjoy their ships.
Anyway, Iâm going to add the messages I received regarding this here (donât worry, everyone one was perfectly polite--I just got the feeling that the post had been misunderstood as me saying you should ship straight ships, when it wasnât).
From Anon,
http://www.ilovetelevisionzines.com/another-boring-straight-couple-why-i-hate-your-canon/
This article has some points. Ross and Rachel are often deemed one of the best and romantic Canon ships on a show of all time. But I always thought even this so called most romantic sitcom trip was very unbalanced.
Tiny extract but the whole entire is worth a read.
âOn Friends, Ross loves Rachel. And heshows that love through a jealousy and obsession that should send any flesh and blood woman running for the hills. Ross canât stand it when Rachel has a male co-worker or - God forbid - friend. His acts possessive of Rachel and marks his territory. He treats Rachel like an object to be fought for. His jealousy causes bitter fights and leads to the first of their many, many break-ups. In real life, a man trying to separate a woman from her friends is the redest of flags. Here, it is a sign of the depth of Rossâs passion. In reality, people are autonomous beings, not objects to be fought over. But on Friends, Ross fights to win Rachel because he loves her.â
I think this article has quite a few good points. I donât prefer f/f or m/m because Iâm hetrophobic, but because m/f have made me numb with it being pushed on me since I was four with romance being added into every kid movie ever. Most 12 years old I know donât care less about romance. But so many 12 year Olds in films and TV end up invested in a realtionship or whatever. I was like âwhy are they targeting this stuff at is so early?â and a lot of it just seems unhealthy.
http://www.ilovetelevisionzines.com/another-boring-straight-couple-why-i-hate-your-canon/
Dear Anon,
I actually agree with this quite a lot. There are so many problematic âloveâ stories out there and Ross and Rachel is one in particular that I always disliked (even though I love the show). Everything about their relationship, mostly due to Rossâs behaviour, was very unhealthy and I donât think they would work. They only âworkâ because the writers wanted Ross to get the girl in the end. There is a lot of harmful sexism still present in the writing of TV and movies (mostly involving women being a prize whose own feelings are unimportant) and the traditional boy-likes-girl therefore guy-gets-girl story is lazy and boring, so I totally get the points this article is making. At the same time, Friends created Monica and Chandler, a straight couple who I feel did have a really good story and did have a very healthy relationship. So, while I despise Ross and Rachel, I ship Monica and Chandler to hell and back.
From Anon,
https://www.google.com.au/amp/www.afterellen.com/tv/475459-im-boycotting-straight-white-television/amp
Although I do think this article has a point. I mean, it it is a little blunter than I would say, but I donât think people are boring for not personally shipping m/f. Even in m/f today there are so many unhealthy gender dymanics that get passed over for being cute. And there is still a crazy huge amount of m/f compared to E everything else.
A study was just published by USC demonstrating how exclusive film and television can really be. Out of the 414 films and television shows they examined, and the 11,194 speaking roles, only 2% were LGB. Out of that number, 72.1% were male. That leaves only 49 lesbian speaking roles and seven transgender roles. And seeing about fiften percent of people identity as none straight, 2 percent of characters (normally side charctersc, not even main characters) is not a lot.
Dear Anon,
I donât think people are boring for having their own preferences either. I think I interpreted the first sentence of that post differently than others did. My mind focused on the word ârefusedâ, which I took to mean they were talking about people who would ship an m/f pairings because they do think their personalities match up well but, despite how they actually feel, will refuse to ship them just because theyâre straight. I have met a few people who are like that and itâs just bizarre to me. Why put a weird set of rules on what things youâre allowed to like and not like? Thatâs strange enough as it is, but Iâve met a lot of people who also try to impose those same rules on other people (which I think the rest of the post was about) and Iâm really not okay with it when people do that.
I understand not shipping m/f pairings just because they arenât interesting to you anymore because you see them everywhere. I ship very few m/f pairings myself for that exact same reason but, once in a while, I see an m/f pairing that just clicks so well that I ship them anyway despite my usual preferences.
From Anon,
My brother is a straight dude who only dates women but will only read f/f or m/m novels. I get the f/f but I asked him about the m/m and he told me it was because he felt these novels had more room to explore a different dymanic with gender politics thrown out the window in these relationships. He said he grew up on f/m Disney films, movies, books, tv and that he was just wanted a change. So while Tumblr heavily leans towards same sex couples, most of the world of fiction is still the opposite.
Dear Anon,
My response to this post would basically have been the same as the one above so I likely would have posted the two submissions together and responded to them together. The formatting for this is just kind of weird so I thought I should clarify that lol But, yeah, please read above ^_^
From Anon,
So this blog needs for straight ships them. Hmmmmmmm. Rose annoys me so she's out. I like Kevin/Annie. Hmmmmmmm. That is only one though. I shall ship Doug/Celeste to even the numbers out a bit then.
Dear Anon,
lol You donât have to ship straight ships or invent some just for the sake of balancing out, but I appreciate the effort XD
1 note
·
View note