#IM STILL SO SHOOK
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THANK YOU FOR 700 FOLLOWERS!!
OKAY FIRST OF ALL, i literally told silan LAST NIGHT before i went to bed that i would hit 600 FOLLOWERS by next week. then i went to bed and WOKE UP TO THIS??? LIKE HOLY SHIT???
in all seriousness, thank you for all of the support. im glad i can do what i love and see that so many others enjoy it too. i look forward to putting out more things for you all very soon :) so stay tuned.
...seriously though guys OVER 100 FOLLOWERS IN ONE NIGHT IM-
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i just heard one of my favorite youtubers say this meme out loud in a video and the pronounciation FLOORED ME so now i gotta know:
poll is just "which way do you say it"; tags is "which way is right", assuming your answer to "which way is right" is different to "which way do you say it". or i guess tags are also for uhhhhhh if your answer is complicated and if you wanna explain, if you have a diff way of pronouncing (pls tell meeeee), or whatever else you want, im not your parents, idk
#i just.. diDNT THINK THERE WAS ANOTHER WAY TO PRONOUNCE IT???#but i heard [redacted pronounciation] and i just went ''pÁŔƊÓŃ???'' so i tried to think of all possible ones?#forgive me if theres already been a poll on this; i didnt see it and thus didnt know#edit: fuck!!! i just realizied you could combine the last two like i couldve made ''be o bo'' and ''bo be o'' each an option#if oNE OF THOSE TWO ARE THE MAJORITY (not that i expect many votes at all. but still!!) IMMA BE (1) SHOOK AND (2) McFUCKING BAFFLED#edit: wow. i thought id be lucky to get 20 in a week with my follower count. okay. damn. youre sweet ♡ also ''Boo boo''s you are so valid#im sorry i did not think to add you as an option. you are so right
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Everything hurts.
Pac groans in pain as he is downed again. How many times has he been killed now, eight times? Ten? Twelve? He’s not sure– and frankly, he doesn’t care anymore. He just wants those fucking eye worker things to be gone.
Someone is picking him up– Pac’s not sure who it is. Everything is so blurry, so hazy. He remembers thanking them as he stands on his legs, hissing when the bruises on the stump of his prosthetic leg ache. He hears more screaming, more fighting, he thinks he heard the sound of someone dying, but he’s not sure of who.
Everything is too much.
“WHAT?!”
Pac turns around, stumbling when he hears Bagi’s broken voice. What happened? His head is spinning, and everything seems to come in and out of focus.
“Who did that?!” She screams, a rage in her voice Pac has never heard come from her. “WHO DID THAT?!”
He’s confused– what happened? He grabs his comm with shaking hands, thinking something was said in chat.
Empanada is bleeding.
Empanada was slain.
What.
He freezes. His heart stops, mind going quiet as gunshots and yells overlap. But– But Empanada was right here. She was behind him, running away with her frying pan in her hands when Pac was downed. How could she be dead? Not again, not again, not again.
“No, no, no...” He mumbles, watching as Bagi and Fit push the worker with their scythes and corners it. The male stumbles towards the worker, hands clenched into fists. He has nothing– those fuckers destroyed his home, destroyed his armour and weapons, took away one of Em’s lives...
He punches, because that’s all he can do.
He punches with as much strength he can muster (which isn’t a lot), mindful to not get between it and Bagi. He keeps punching, again and again and again because how dare they?! How DARE they hurt his family.
Then Bagi yells.
“YOU KILLED EMPANADA, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!” She screams, stabbing the worker with her scythe and downing it. “YOU PIECE OF SHIT!”
Pac stumbles back, freezing.
He’s heard that tone before, accompanied by wide, crazy blue eyes and blodied, sharp fangs.
He tries to breathe, but his body feels out of his control. He gets goosebumps as Bagi screams and yells with grief and anger in her voice as she stabs the worker over, and over, and over, and over. Fit stands back, hand going white by the grip he has on his scythe and a mix of anger and guilt on his face.
At some point, the body of the Eye Worker stumbles towards his frozen body. Bagi, in her fit of rage, doesn't see him and continues stabbing the Worker. Pac feels a flash of pain in his abdomen, and he collapses, downed once again but this time by Bagi. He doesn’t dare to move or to speak– he needs to be as quiet and still as he can if he wants to live, to survive.
He starts to get picked up by someone, but all Pac can manage to say is that they can leave him, he’s fine. He gets picked up, of course, but all he can do is stand there, paralized, as Bagi continues her rampage on the eye worker.
Everything hurts, and all he can do is watch.
#so hiw are we after yesterday :D?#bagis reaction shook ne to my core#im still not over it#also pacs reaction when bagi lost it...#as much as it hurt#yesterday was cinema#qsmp#qsmp writing#pactw#qsmp pac#oibagi#qsmp bagi#fitmc#qsmp fit#aynee writes#tw egg death#tw child death#<< just in case
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Sometimes I think to myself "actually maybe I'm exaggerating the terror I felt from being stalked", but then I remember that the person in question followed me and waited for me outside my school every day, tracked me down on every website I'd spent even the slightest time on, left physical letters in my mailbox, sent creepy as hell novel length messages on a near daily basis on FB. And then when I was living abroad and I answered the phone I told the caller to text me cause I couldn't hear, after which I had to read "I was saying that you would probably be VERY scared if you knew who's calling... hehe" with my own damn fucking eyes...
And then I'm like yknow what nevermind!!!! the fact that I'm still terrified of being perceived and seen in public not just IRL but also FFXIV might be understandable actually!!!
#im not saying its what caused my psychotic breakdown cause there were many factors#but needless to say it played a HUGE part especially surrounding the debilitating paranoia i was left with for years#i should mention that i only learned LAST YEAR that this person supposedly gave up according to them#by an old mutual classmate (the only one im still in contact with sadly because this person destroyed all the connections i held dear)#(we were classmates for years and this fucked me up cause we were friends for years before it all went down)#but yeah so last year they gave up apparently and it started 2012.#id managed to evade their notice online since 2019 when they last contacted me on facebook and i assumed id simply shook them off#given the habits i developed as a result of it that still affect me in ways i hate#but yeah its only been about a year of feeling relatively safe for the first time since 2012... and even then only relatively#cause i have no idea how permanent that is. and i dont dare to fully relax knowing what the person is capable of in terms of violence#hysterically tumblr is one of the very places online where they never found me it seems#but yeah. apparently they can just move on and here i am meanwhile still feeling the effects#such as feeling like im drenched in ice even in fucking *ffxiv* just because someones targeting or emoting at me#even though its never actually a problem! its a normal thing! and yet that brief moment of dread and fear seems to stick#IDK WHY IM RANTING ABOUT THIS I WAS JUST REMINDED AND. AURGH#awful. horrible. hopefully itll be fine forevermore and that ill be able to relax one day#silvi talks
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just received +25 psychic damage by relating song lyrics to the treatment of demigods in pjo
#coffins by misterwives#when i tell yall i made myself nauseous#i heard the lyrics “how do you soften the thought of carrying coffins? we were so alive only to see us wither and die” and i thought of#lester carrying jasons coffin to camp jupiter#this entire song feels like demigods who once had faith in the gods. but just can't anymore after being used for so long#god what i could do if i could edit videos still#lyrics “your ego swallowed you and from there you fled so far away could not find your way back”#SO lester coded#OH FUCK IT GETS WORSE#“i shook your ears tried to make you hear my call but you were long gone. no hope in a sunless dawn”#tell me thats not piper when shes holding jasons body#oh my GOD I SHOULD BE SLEEPING RN BUT SDJFKSLNFJSKLNJK im inflicting the damage on myself at this point#trials of apollo#the burning maze#toa spoilers#tbm spoilers#jason grace#lester papadopoulos#piper mclean#percy jackson#pjo#oh my GOD upon further analysis#it could also be very much thalia @ luke coded#about his corruption and turning his back on demigods#ohhhhhh this song is going to be the death of me
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i've been saving a lot of palettes recently to use for doodles, and finally got around to doing one. despite being just. ASS at working with limited colors - like, 5 colors is HARD to work with, especially when you use one for lineart and make the lines too thick to make using that color again for coloring look good - i'm really happy with this!
...i did cheat a bit though with the lighter color around the star. it just looked like. kinda off without it though so it's fiiiine-
#it was really hard to get the coloring to look good for his lower body#bc his pants and shoes are both dark and i had 2 dark colors to work with total so. yeah cjhbjcv i had to keep playing around with it#and i only wanted to use the lighter blue? turquoise? whatever you wanna call it for the star and his hair/eyes#so that those areas would pop#also like im ass at backgrounds ususally but! i like this one it looks cool methinks :]#symbolism :]#shook arts#oc shiz#takoshi (oc)#smh two takoshis in a row with no masumii#guess i know who i'm drawing tmmrw lmao#oh yeah palette is from @color-palettes on - you guessed it - tumblr#all of the ones im gonna be using are most likely from that blog lol#ALSO also very happy with the hands#the lowered one still kiiiinda looks jank (it looks better if you look at it upside-down) but yknow. i don't usually draw all 4 fingers#separate because hard so i'm happy with how it came out regardless lol
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Oooooooooohhhh im gonna feel bad for saying this and it kills me cuz i love epic with my whole heart but
Wisdom Saga did not hit right :v
#the cryptid talks#epic the musical#like i actually might rank it as my least favourite saga AND ME AND MY SIS FEEL SO BAD FOR DOING SO#AHHH#like dont get me wrong the crew still did an amazing job#the animations were amazing tho and spectacular#and there were some parts i like#like telemachus and athena's song and calypso's song love those#but everything else was just ehhhh#we're not mad just a lil disappointed#telemachus is absolutely endearing tho#i thought i wouldnt like him as much but baby boy carried this more than god games did IM SORRY#and we were looking forward to that one the most but it was just sped run through and we missed hera's more sassier deeper voice aghgghggg#love you tho mr jalapeno im looking forward to the vengeance saga the most#im sorry i didnt enjoy this one as much 😭#i see everybody else's hyper/posistive reactions to it and i just feel like i cant really get on board with them :V#it threw me off from the story that was happening and i couldnt focus as much#we were so shooked tho when the livestream got cut off like EXCUSE ME??? CAPTAIN! CAPTAIN?!?? xD
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*a dream in which you knew you were dreaming, could do whatever you wanted, and knew you only had to wake up to make it stop?
#00#poll#polls#i just had my first ever lucid dream it was. quite honestly terrifying it felt so fucking bizarre im still shook
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i miss her…
#cant believe i forgot about her till the photobook q&a im so sorry witch mona~~~~~~~#press f for honeypre atelier gachas it was gone too soon™️#(currently e x t r e m e l y worried and stressed for tomorrow like never before b u t i have to appear like im fine sobs save me monachann)#(can i go on a stress-prompted tangent here about something inane? no? toooo bad im gonna go off anyway~~~~)#ok so. like. since witch mona is the image i have up ‘ere and since it’s still 七月… today’s tangent will be on irl spooky stories!!#s o. presenting a decently repressed memory from my childhood that resurfaced while i was hibernating at home:#anyways. well. thoughts about the afterlife can vary from person to person yes? there’s no one true correct belief after all#but the one question that unites us all is probably the one and only ‘are ghosts real?’#and well. for personal reasons i think so. i mean i’ve seen this one dude i hate get possessed a couple of times so welp. cant deny it ig.#wild story about that actually. back in the day my family’s finances were allegedly doing so badly that [dude i hate] had to pick up#a *c e r t a i n* side hustle for extra cash. that side hustle? literal grave digging at the cemetary. at night no less#and *ofc* he wasn’t respectful about it in the least so ofc some spirits followed him home. yay. free roommates.#one(?) of them even took residence in my room at the time and im 80% sure they ate my history textbook :( much sads#anyways well once that guy had too much to drink (which was rather often tbh) he’d get possessed. fun!#the only possession i ever saw was the n-rarity angry ghost who’d just huff and puff in silence with unfocused eyes most of the time#he’d occasionally put on a leather jacket too. but that was like a r-rarity event that didn’t happen that often#my mother had the chance to also witness the mosquito (who tried to barge into my room for fresh blood) and the 姑娘 (self-explanatory)#which is kinda unfair tbh. i wanted to see the ur-rarity ones too :( mostly bc it’d be funny to see a guy i hate act ooc (impure intentions)#oh right. how did we get the dude out of his possession? we just shook his arm really hard. prolly caused some lasting effects but who know#i think he could also just sleep off the possession but idk i was asleep for the ur-rarity incidents.#cant ask the one witness of it bc i dont want to bring back unnecessary flashbacks of [guy we hate]#anyways it’s been years since we moved out from that place and i still want my history textbook back. mostly for the principle of it but—#and so that’s the tangent of the day. i feel weirdly less stressed now thanks witch mona#i do wonder how my grandparents are faring on this 七月 though…#b u t !!!!! tomorrow’s date on the lunar calendar says it’s an auspicious day for wishful activity and starting a new job!!! so… maybe~~~~?#hauauauauauauauuauaaaaaa anyways insane tangent over stream mona’s new album ok bye#oops forgor to disable rbs i hate how easy it is to forget to use this function man
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now that artfight is over i can take some time to properly design them before i make new refs
#null havoc damage#ultraman showtime#allegro and lyle are basically done i think. i just gave allegro his arm fins back#i took them off at one point but after remembering that belial and geed have them im putting em back on#i still think lyle looks too simple but then again whenever i try to draw a showa ultra i go 'this is too simple'#so im leaving him as he is .#i adapted zero darkness' markings for zstar this time and i like it a lot i think the lightning bolt esc patterns look super cool#marize also looks too simple but alas... i dont want to overdesign her either#im also not sure i like the shade of pink i picked for her metal i might mess with her colors more#but i like the idea of her metallic bits being iridescent bc she looks like a fish#i did not attempt to do that in the shading though . which may be why it looks bad#idk. my power is flickering so im too scared to draw on my pc so ipad doodles are happening instead#i also dont know why i gave zstar that stupid ass smirk i just drew it on her and was like yeah ok#I DIDNT MEAN TO MAKE THE BOYS MATTE AND THE GIRLS SHINY. THATS JUST HOW IT SHOOK OUT#allegro could be shiny but when i tried to make him shiny it looked weird. might try again later#i think i just need to do a bunch of iterations with marize and then pick one and make myself be satisfied with it#or else im going to mess with her design for weeks on end. sorry mari
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Sexy smug jackass but I like him
#borderlands 2#handsome jack#mad moxxi#this game got me acting up!!?#LIKE HE'S SUCH AN ASSHOLE BUT HE'S PSYCHOTICALLY SILLY AND FUNNY but still fuck him with a heart#and moxxi is saur mommyyyyy i want to get missions from her BUT WHEN 💓🛐💔#game is legit the bisexual experience im so shook
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holy shit my brother is paying for an art commission for a late birthday gift
guys I'm finally gonna have real art of Ayzora
I am. so excited I could CRY
#oc: ayzora#yawning grave#EEEEEEEEEEE#best gift ever btw??? im so shook#also my first art commission but GOD if I had money I'd be doing it all the time lol#the artist told me they'd get back to me with sketches in a few days and I'm so shook#like. you could take 4 months and I'd still tip you. take your sweet time (i say this knowing there are bills to pay)#(i understand dont worry) (the sentiment remains regardless)#anyway. giggling blushing twirling my hair kicking my feet#creatives have my whole heart#queue sweet generous thing
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Sorry for the silence folks, I was at London Film and Comic Con and got to meet the main man himself! Temuera Morrison!
He was so lovely and kind! He literally blew you away with his warm presence in the room during the talk!
#rogue rambles#im still a little giddy from it#but he was so nice when we met: shook my hand and said hello#temuera morrison#still wish i could smile better!#rogue appears#i have more photos but this is a prized possession now along with Laz's signature of him
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It's been so long since the last time I hallucinated that I forget how jumpy and skittish I get afterwards guhhhh
#im okay the hallucinations werent bad in what i saw and felt but#struggling with sleep and perceiving reality can individually trigger me a loy#so combining them made for a combo that wouldve been devastating hadnt i come this far in recovery#and it helped that friend was there to help me talk through it#but man i still notice how affected i get by it#every little noise every little shadow im jumping and freaking out by reflex over the most minor things#even my sibling walking up without me realizing terrified me in a way it doesnt normally#and again what i saw and perceived during the hallucinations wasnt even bad!!!#i just cant seem to shake off the awful feelings afterwards even when i dont panic about it#i was told by doctor who helped me getting on meds back in the day that like#id likely always be prone to various degrees of relapse during stress#which i noticed a lot#but its been 2 years of relative peace and 1 year since i shook off the last remnants affecting me daily#and even in just that year i somehow forgot just how easy it is to fall back into those fears#but im calm rn and able to sit outside in the dark without feeling even a smidge of fear#so jumping from noises is fine all things considered#the fact that i even got to this point is proof enough#anyway sorry for venting#silvi talks
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happy birthday @ariesfaeries !!!!!!!! have a zhao render !!!!!! 💃💃💃💃
#zhao tianyou#my art#i wanted to use another location since the last one i did haha (the one in survive)#ALSO i wanted to make one with the todo model but couldnt find it and didnt want to ask you BC THAT WOULDVE MADE IT OBVIOUS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#anyways!!! happy birthday !!!#i hope your day was good nonetheless and you like this little gift from me#youre one of the sweetest ppl i met on here and im still so shook like WRAAAAAGHHHH !!!!!! 😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️#and it's also so funny how oomfs' birthdays all line up#like we are truly the aries gang 😭❤️
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ouch oof owie
#i wasn't gonna draw anything today bc im just not feeling it but#i had a stupid idea so naturally i had to#even if it is just phone doodles#anyways my headache is back and i still don't have Excedrin (tomorrow i shall be saved....)#and im having DIFFERENT#SOMEHOW WORSE fish problems today so#life is great :]#anyways the streak lives on but rip the masu-tako streak (it will likely continue tmmrw dw)#shook doodles
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