#IM SORRY TO ANYONE I OFFENDED BY USING THE WRONG ONE

[anotherferalrat]

Late Night Musings Pt.1

Indulge me for a moment.

As a preface, I would like to remind chat I am still very early in the story so no spoilers pls, I literally just made it to Inazuma and I've done like no character story quests

So I could be entirely wrong; I know Kaeya-Diluc-Crepus lore seems to be fairly up in the air. But the way I understand the timeline is Crepus dies during the day -> ragbros fight that night -> sometime before the morning, Diluc leaves to do hot girl shit (revenge)

In light of that...

Do you think Kaeya had to handle the funeral arrangements by himself :)

Of course Adelinde and the staff help where they can but as the only person of the household people can find, a lot falls to him.

That's actually how he finds out Diluc left. Adelinde comes to him in town as he's living in the barracks to invite him to the winery to talk plans. Having been yelled at not even hours ago to never set foot there again, he's like what if we do it here in the city instead and after a sec follows it up with why me, i thought Diluc would be in charge as the true heir.

Hesitantly, she shows him the letter the young mas- the new master of the house left, only saying he was looking for answers and couldn't return until he found them and that he's sorry. Nowhere did Diluc mention him but he knows he's part of the reason.

The two work out a meeting place, somewhere that's halfway for both of them but *not* the winery.

Anyways point is, how do you think he felt writing the eulogy, several bottles deep, thinking he shouldn't- doesn't deserve to be the main speaker? That he's once again alone in this world, partially from his own doing? That he was too slow to save the man who cared for him and "drove away" his sworn brother?

Just. Fun thoughts :))

[taegularities]

being here has never felt this suffocating.. it feels impossible sometimes to continue

[27spoons]

CRUSH | ACT ONE: HOW CAN I MAKE IT OK?

pairing: natalie scatorccio/fem!reader

summary: A frustrating vending machine and a stolen BuzzBall draw you further into Natalie Scatorccio’s chaotic orbit.

wc: 5180

warnings: (TWO) uses of y/n im SORRY IT WONT HAPPEN AGAIN, reader is a bumbling idiot again whoops, petty theft, brief!reader alcohol consumption, slut-shaming(?)

a/n: am i allowed to say that this photo of sophie just does things to me or nah

ao3 / masterlist

PREVIOUS - ACT ONE: CIGARETTE DAYDREAMS

NEXT - ACT ONE: DO I WANNA KNOW?

The following week seems to drag on like any other, and, much to your surprise, your parents didn't question your absence from AP Chem that afternoon you ditched with Natalie. That had you wondering, could you do it again and get away with it? You've spent the majority of your life building us this carefully crafted persona—one that not a single person would guess would ever act out. If you did it again, would anyone raise an eyebrow at you? Would people believe whatever lie you fed them? That you were sick, had a headache, car troubles?

Either way, the thoughts linger. But you don't see Natalie again until the end of the week, loitering near the vending machines between classes, throwing her hands in the air in frustration and kicking one of them. "God fucking—!" She groans and kicks the machine again before turning around and leaning back against it. "Stupid fucking piece of shit vending machine…"

You hesitate, standing a good few feet away from her as she mutters something under her breath and slams her fist against the vending machine's glass. She looks just about ready to rip the machine apart. 

You hesitate, the door to the parking lot just a few steps away. Maybe you should keep walking, let her deal with the vending machine on her own. But then her eyes catch yours, and it’s already too late to slip away unnoticed.

“You just gonna stand there, or are you gonna help me?” she calls out, a teasing edge to her voice. She gestures dramatically to the machine, like it owes her something. Which, in a way, it does.

You step closer to her and the offending vending machine, "What happened?" "What happened?" Natalie scoffs, "What happened is this piece of shit—" She kicks the vending machine again, "vending machine stole my cash and didn't even spit out my fucking M&M's." She glances around, eyes landing on a fire extinguisher, eyes lighting up like she just got an idea.

"Nope!" You say immediately, fishing some loose change from your pocket, "Just… here. How much is it? Two dollars?" You place down a handful of quarters and dimes into her hand. "Just punch in for another one. Please don't break the machine." You glance around as if someone's watching the interaction, but the halls are empty.

Natalie stops and looks down at the change you've given her, back at you, the change, you, the change, then shrugs and slots the coins into the machine. "Fuckin' rich people…" Which seems to be her way of saying, "Thank you for not letting me break the vending machine because the last thing I need is another suspension," but what do you know?

You watch her stuck M&M's fall to the vending area alongside the bag behind it, meeting again at the bottom of the machine. "Fuck yeah." Natalie grins as she sticks her hand in, pulling out two bags of M&Ms. 

Naturally, you assume that Natalie will give you one of the bags.

Naturally, you're proven wrong as she stuffs one of the bags into her pocket, ripping the other open and dumping them right into her mouth. "Mmfanks, princess." She grins as she chews, and for a moment, you wonder if she's ever learned not to talk with her mouth full, but you quickly get your answer when she keeps talking. "Y'should be in class." 

You glance around, and that's when you realise why the halls are so empty. The bell rang a good five minutes ago. "Damn." You murmur, quickly stepping back and glancing toward your next class, when you hear a noise of disapproval coming from behind you.

"Where y'going?" She says, mouth no longer full of M&Ms. "You should just skip the rest of that day. Already running a little late, what's just… not going?" She shrugs.

You make your own noise of disapproval, "No, I… I would be skipping another chemistry class with Mr. Carr." You fidget, glancing between the direction of your class and Natalie.

"Okay…" She drawls, "Did he care last time?" 

"Uhm…" You shift awkwardly, staring at the floor now, "no…"

She hums, popping a single candy into her mouth, "Did your parents?"

You don't answer that—because the answer was also a no. You gave some excuse to your parents about not feeling well that block, and they believed you. And you're pretty sure you could just get the notes from today's class from that guy that sits across from you…

"Exactly." Natalie's voice cuts through the quiet, "You don't have any reason not to! No one gave a fuck. And you're, like, smart." She gestures at you, "I'm sure you can handle missing one class without your GPA dropping or whatever."

You open your mouth to retort, then click your tongue and cross your arms, a pout on your face. Usually, you could probably find some retort to that. But… maybe a part of you has already made your mind up for you.

"I… really shouldn't…" You murmur, trying to convince yourself that you should go to class.

"Yeah, you should." She rolls her eyes, tossing another M&M into her mouth, "Come on. Live a little. You keep letting this…" She gestures to nothing, "Fear control you; you're never actually gonna live!" Natalie laughs to herself, "Dude. Princess. Come on. What's one class? At the end of the day?"

You're about ninety percent sure she used that logic last time.

That being said, you've never been that good at putting your foot down before.

You sigh and pinch the bridge of your nose, "Dammit." With a resigned shake of your head, you look up at Natalie, who has a smug grin on her face as if she already knew your answer. "Fine."

"Mm, try not to sound so excited, yeah?" She pops another chocolate into her mouth and starts walking to the exit, clearly expecting you to follow. 

"Do you ever wait for people?" You whisper-yell as you walk after her, taking quick strides to catch up. 

"Nope." She pops the p, "If you wanna come, you'll come. If you don't, you won't." She shrugs and actually offers you the bag of M&Ms. "Want one?"

"Oh, uh, sure." You stick your hand out and she dumps a few chocolates into her hand before she throws the doors to the school open and walks out into the open air, taking an exaggerated inhale.

"Ahhh, air. See, this is what you miss when you stay cooped up in school all day, Princess." She grins smugly to herself, tossing the candy wrapper in a garbage can as the two of you walk. "Fresh air and the smell of cigarettes." And, before you can say something about not being able to smell cigarettes, she fishes a pack of smokes out of her pockets, placing one between her teeth and bringing a lighter to the end.

"Do you ever not smoke?" You ask, more to yourself than her, and (affectionately) roll your eyes. "Nope." She pops the p again, "Always got a cancer stick in my mouth." She grins to herself as if she's proud of herself for that fact. 

"But it's a nasty habit." She adds, after a beat of silence, "I don't even remember when I stopped smoking for "fun" and started smoking because I had to." An exhausted sigh leaves her, and she wipes the nonexistent sweat on her brow with her thumb. 

Silence follows after she shares that piece of information—as if it's the first time she's admitted that out loud. An unreadable expression crosses her features, although you're sure you can detect her underlying unease with admitting that.

"Where are we going this time?" You clear your throat, trying to ease the sudden tension that appeared. "Back to the skatepark?" Nat shakes her head as she ashes the cigarette, "Nah. I need a Redbull or something. Got shit I need to do tonight, and I might as well have been hit by a train. Fuckin' exhausted."  You glance at her as she says that, looking for signs of exhaustion, but find nothing visible. Maybe it's the fact she looks like a raccoon, the bravado she carries, or just… her, but she seems fine. Maybe she just hides it well.

"Honoured to, uh, join you on this very meaningful adventure." You say sarcastically, which earns a snort from Natalie.

"God, you're such a dork. It's cute." You find yourself flushing at the compliment despite yourself, finding yourself extra embarrassed for reacting like that, especially considering that she said it sarcastically, but you can't help yourself. "Yeah, whatever." You mumble, which earns a snort from Natalie. 

"An embarrassed dork." She remarks without even looking at you, a low chuckle falling from her lips. "Now that's cute."

Oh, God. Your cheeks feel like they're on fire. Simple compliments shouldn't be getting to you the way they are, and she seems to know and bask in this fact. She lets a shit-eating smirk don her face, but you're lucky enough she chooses not to embarrass you further.

"Hey," Natalie speaks up after the two of you walk in silence for a few blocks, "Y'know, thinking about it, I don't think I ever got your name." She glances at you, "Mind spilling a secret to me?"

"Oh, uh, yeah. It's y/n." "Hmm." Natalie hums, "Right, right. That is… y/n is a name for sure. A good name! But I think I prefer Princess. Therefore, I will keep calling you that." She says, seeming overly pleased with herself.

"Right." You mumble, wondering why you thought there would be any other outcome to this conversation. "Don't take it personally." She muses, taking a drag from her cigarette, "Princess just suits you." A beat, then she blinks a few times and almost bashfully adds: "In a good way. Obviously. Not in a…" She gestures with her free hand to nothing, which she seems to do a lot. "Not in a "you're an uptight bitch" typa way, alright?" A small crack in the facade, genuine bashfulness from the woman you swore was never anything but sure. But, it's gone as quickly as it appeared as she clears her throat. "Whatever. Just… don't take it personally." She waves her hand dismissively. 

"Thanks." You murmur, a small, excited grin on your face as you walk beside her, feeling like some type of schoolgirl interacting with her crush for the first time at the… almost compliment. 

"Yeah. Whatever." She responds, pointedly avoiding your gaze for the rest of the walk.

…which, in all honesty, isn't that long. Maybe another minute before you're walking into a QuickChek.

The store has seen better days, without question. The floors are all scuffed, the air conditioning is making this weird creaking sound that honestly scares you a little bit, and the clerk looks like they couldn't honestly give a single fuck about anything. A tornado could blow through the shop, and they wouldn't care.

Natalie seems to already know where she's going, walking with a purpose to the far left corner of the store. She walks her fingers across the fridges that line the walls, humming an imaginary tune to herself as she does. She stops at a particular door and swings it open, grabbing herself a RedBull before pausing to look at you, "You getting anything?"

"Oh!" You fumble for a moment, grabbing a water bottle that was in your backpack and waving it briefly, "I'm all good." You take a small sip for effect, but it just earns a slightly confused look from her before she shrugs and closes the fridge.

As the two of you wait in line at the register (the old man in front of you has about thirty lottery tickets he wants checked), you let out a gentle laugh when you see a BuzzBall sitting on the counter.

"Y'know, I've always wondered what they taste like." You nod towards the drink, "Does it live up to the hype?" You muse out loud, "Chili Mango?"

The blonde snorts, "Nah. It's blown way out of proportion." She shakes her head as the guy in front of you two complains about not winning anything on another ticket. "I'm easy for coolers. I'll take…" She gestures to nothing, "A Mike's Hard or Smirnoff Ice. Maybe a Four Loko if I'm feeling interesting. But BuzzBalls…" She shrugs and slides her drink towards the clerk as the lottery ticket guy walks off, "I dunno. Overrated."

"Huh." You consider that piece of information as you look at the offending beverage. 

You don't find much time to consider it until you hear a "Dude, what the fuck?" from Natalie. You glance over at her, and she's glaring daggers into the clerk. "I gave you a five. Where's my change?"

"Nope. You gave me two ones." He shrugs, glancing at his phone, "Must have remembered wrong."

"Dude." She makes a fist with one of her hands in frustration, but it doesn't look like she wants to punch him; instead, she seems like she's just trying to restrain herself. "I get that this job probably pays like shit, but what do you get skimming three dollars off a fuckin'... high schooler?" She makes a slightly confused expression at the "high schooler" comment, as she immediately realises that it's a stupid argument, but it's too late to change it now.

"I didn't take anything from you." He rolls his eyes, "Jesus. Calm down. Just, like, check your pockets, or whatever." He rolls his eyes again, clearly not giving a shit. Natalie, on the other hand, looks pissed. But she knows better than to argue about something like this with a clerk who would probably press the panic button if she tried anything. "Fine." She glares at the clerk a moment longer before her eyes flash to the BuzzBall you were looking at previously, smirks, grabs it from the countertop without fuss, and walks out the door. If the clerk notices, he doesn't say anything. So, you simply just skitter out after Natalie.

She's still walking away, jaw clenched, so it takes you a few seconds to catch back up with her. "Dude, what—"

She stops walking, faces you, presses the drink into your hand, and keeps walking. "There. Now you can try a BuzzBall—since you wanted to." 

"Wait, no, I'm just… what happened in there?"

"The asshole stole my change." She mutters as she cracks the RedBull open. "So I was just getting my money's worth." A large swig from the can, "Like, steal from the rich old guy making you scan hundreds of lottery tickets, and not the chick who has almost her entire outfit thrifted from Good-fucking-Will."

She huffs, then shakes her head, "Whatever. Have a drink. Tell me if it was worth it."

You hesitate, looking between her and the beverage, but eventually sigh. "Dammit…" You crack the tab on the lid and take a long sip. When you lower the container back down, you roll the drink around on your tongue a little bit before frowning. "This is just… okay, I guess."

Natalie laughs. Low and genuine and it makes her eyes crinkle. "Well, yeah, I told you that. Glad you're realising it now, though." She shoots you an easy grin and resumes the path she's taking.

You walk alongside her for a few minutes in relative silence, sipping on the drink while she smokes a cigarette and takes the odd swig from her RedBull, seemingly lost in thought.

After a few more sips of the BuzzBall, you let out a soft laugh. “You really just took it and walked out. That’s… kind of insane.”

Natalie snorts, "Relax, Princess. It's just a BuzzBall. Small potatoes. 's not like I boosted a car or anything." She grins to herself, "Unless, of course, this is your first brush with crime?" She muses in a sing-song voice, "I may succeed in corrupting you yet."

You scoff to hide your blush, "Okay. Whatever. I'm just saying…" You shrug and kick a pebble, "What if he, like, called the cops or something?"

"Cops have better things to do than chase down two high schoolers for a single drink." She snorts, "Trust me. I would know." 

You cock an eyebrow at her, "My bad, forgot you were a delinquent. Of course, you have all the information on how cops in this town act." The tone is teasing, and… wow. You've been surprising yourself a lot lately, haven't you? Teasing like this is… new. Very new. You think you like it.

And, for what it's worth, Natalie seems to like it, too.

"Mm, well, someone has to teach the nerd how to live, yeah?" She takes a swig from the can, "Might as well be the delinquent on first-name basis with the entire police population of Wiskayok." You roll your eyes fondly, "Yeah, no one better to teach me, I suppose."

"Exactly. Who better than the adrenaline junkie?"

"Adrenaline junkie?" You parrot, "I suppose that sense. I'm assuming your driving record is worse than your rap sheet?"

That earns you a laugh from the blonde, "Oh, by far. If I ever got caught, anyway. Listen, Princess, if you're gonna go double the speed limit, you gotta learn how to avoid radar. Plus, no one thinks that the forty-year-old Ford Ranger is goin' that fast. It's all about stealth." A wide grin rests on her face, smug and sure. "I got a lot I could teach you, Princess. 'lot I could sell you on."

"Nancy Reagan has taught me to Just Say No to drugs, thank you very much." You muse with a teasing lilt, "You cannot sell me on that."

"That's the first place your mind goes to? Drugs?" She laughs again, throwing her head back. "And Nancy Reagan? Jesus. How old are you?" You notice her eyes crinkle when she laughs, and the dimple on her cheek is more prominent. A careless sort of happiness that almost makes you envious for some reason.

"Old enough to remember the good ol' days before the youth of America were corrupted by these goddamn liberals…" You say in your best "old person" voice.

Natalie keeps laughing, "Oh my God, you are a fucking loser!" And, despite the words sounding harsh, you can tell she doesn't mean them in a cruel way. It's… affectionate, almost. You'd probably be mildly offended if anyone else had said it like that. But, hey. Maybe you're just too whipped to care right now.

When the laughing settles down, you walk alongside her in relative silence, occasionally glancing her way as she alternates between taking sips from her energy drink and drags from her cigarette.

The two of you continue down the street, the quiet moments between conversations seemingly ten times easier than the previous time you were alone. Natalie doesn’t seem like the type to enjoy the silence, but with her focus on finishing her cigarette and you sipping at the nearly empty BuzzBall, it’s easy to forget how quickly time is passing.

"So," You finally ask, "Have a habit of convincing people to skip classes for convenience store runs and abandoned skatepark trips, or am I just special?"

"You tell me, Princess." She grins at you, "You feel special?"

You roll your eyes, "Am I supposed to feel special, Natalie?"

Natalie glances at you, cigarette perched between her fingers. “You know, you don’t have to call me Natalie. Feels weird coming from you.”

"What, you want me to call you "Princess" now, too?"

"Nah." She laughs, low and warm. "Nat's fine. Save my legal name for my mom or the next cop that wants to book me, yeah?" She finishes with a gentle nudge of her shoulder against yours, "Seriously. No one calls me Natalie."

You raise your hands up in defense, "Alright, alright." You return her laugh, "Then let me ask again, Nat, am I supposed to feel special?"

Nat hums as she considers this, moving her head from side to side in mock thought. "You know what? Yes. I think you should feel special, Princess. Not only do you get to spend time with me, but you also get your own nickname. Pretty cool, huh?" An easy grin slides across her face, "So, yes. Honoured, special, privileged, fortunate… whatever SAT words you wanna use for it. But the answer is yes."

"Alright." You say again, "Then I feel special, Nat."

"Nice." She smiles and nods to herself, taking another swig from her can as she does, "Mission accomplished." That smile slowly slips into something goofier, and for another moment, you see the girl behind the bravado. Sure, maybe you're reading too much into it, but… you're starting to get the idea that she isn't this "untouchable hardass criminal" half the school makes her out to be.

"Wait," You glance around, "You… took us back to school? Thought you wanted to ditch?" Nat shakes her head and gestures to an alleyway between two school buildings, leading you between them.

"We are ditching, and we will remain ditching." She puts the butt of her cigarette into her now empty RedBull can, "I got soccer practice after school. So, yeah, I gotta be here even if I'm ditching class."

"Huh." You lean against one of the walls, "You're really into the whole soccer thing, huh?"

Natalie scoffs, "Yeah, shocker, isn't it? The deadbeat actually cares about something other than drugs."

You frown at that, "That wasn't what I meant. I just…" You sigh, "I meant it in a "tell me more" way, not a "I'm making fun of you" type of way."

"Oh." She seems genuinely surprised that you're curious but nods after a moment's hesitation. "Right. Well, uh. I started playing in middle school." The blonde can't seem to meet your eyes as she speaks, and you swear you can see the faintest touch of red on her cheeks. "Kept playing, I guess. Worked my way up to varsity." She holds her arms open to show off her varsity jacket. "Coach thinks we have a good chance of going to states this year, and states is just one step closer to nationals." 

"Damn. So you've been… you must be really good then, yeah? Are you a starter?" You know jack shit about sports—if you're being honest with yourself. You're just throwing around words you think are relevant to the situation.

Nat nods, a sardonic grin on her face. "Yeah. A starter." She shakes her head and lets out a gentle huff, "Varisty starting winger." A beat of confusion on your part, "Means that it's my job to get the ball to the player who takes the shot, Princess. I'm basically the assist hound. Or, well, that's what Coach wants me to play as, anyway. Keeps saying some shit about how I got "good ball-handling skill" and "the ability to weave through tight spaces" or whatever." She shrugs, acting like that isn't great praise to receive from your coach.

"Wow, so you are really good." You give her an encouraging smile, "That's cool."

"Yeah," Nat grunts, "I guess. Beats doin' nothin'."

"I dunno. I think it is pretty cool. It's one thing to play it casually; another to be good enough to make it to varsity in high school, and another to win nationals." 

"Woah, woah," Nat puts her hands up in defense, "Rewind a little, yeah? We haven't even gone to regionals yet, let alone states." She runs her free hand through her messy hair, "But I appreciate the… unwavering support, or whatever." She glances away again and scuffs her shoes on the pavement, looking uncharacteristically timid.

You get the idea this girl isn't used to receiving praise of any sort.

Interesting.

But, like most cracks in the facade, it's gone before you have time to dwell on it. "That mean I can expect to see you cheering me on in the stands when soccer season starts, Princess?" She asks, taking a step towards you, close but not quite in your personal space. 

"Uh, well, uh, actually, uh, I—" She's not even being particularly seductive. If anything, it just looks like… she's stepping closer to hear you better, or so she doesn't have to be so loud. Yeah. Something like that. "Sure, I, uh, I  just don't know when soccer season starts." You mumble while getting the feeling that your face is gonna be red a lot around her. "So, I'll, uh, I guess, need your schedule or something. Or whatever." You shrug—like the flustered bastard you are.

"Right." Natalie scoffs and fishes her phone out of her pocket, unlocks it and hands it to you, "Throw your number in there, yeah? I'll text you the soccer schedule for this season."

Oh, wow.

If you were a flustered bastard before, you might as well be a complete mess now.

You stare at her phone for a solid five, maybe ten, seconds in silence.

"Right." You grab her phone, and with wide eyes, you create a new contact. 

You return the phone to her, and she immediately sends you a text, "There. You get my message?" You grab your own phone out of your pocket and check to see if you have any new messages, and you do. 

"BuzzBall." You read the message back to her, "Yeah, I got it."

"Cool." Nat grins and shoves her phone into her jacket pocket as she rocks back on her heels, seemingly debating on asking a question.

She never gets the chance to.

"Oh, shit! Look who it is!" One of the two guys walking past the alley you and Nat had ducked into chirp, "The resident burnout! Suck any dick, recently?" A cruel laugh leaves his lips as he nudges his taller friend, "Or, hey, maybe you've been sucking on something else?" He looks at you with a grin. "Find a new bitch to fuck?"

"Nah, this one don't look her type." The taller one chimes in, "She only into the bitches she gets in juvie and older guys, yeah?" They both laugh at that, seemingly finding themselves very funny. 

You had heard the rumours. Of course you had. Who hadn't? But it was one thing to hear a rumour and another to see it yelled at in her face from across an alleyway. When you glance over at Nat to see her reaction, you're… almost shocked to see an expression of hurt on her face. 

The hurt doesn't last long, and you quickly find seething anger taking its place. 

You glance back at the guys as one of them speaks up again, "I mean, hey, if you ever want a dick to suck, mine is available!" The taller guy laughs, nudging his friend. "Come on! The seat in my Beamer goes all the way back!" They both laugh again.

"Nat—" You turn back to look at her and see a deep scowl on her face as she reaches behind her, into her waistband. You really aren't sure what she's about to grab, but you really don't want to know, either. "Woah!" You laugh nervously, "O-okay! Haha! Wow!" 

The guys seem to notice the moment of her hand, and although the taller one seems to falter slightly, the other doesn't care in the slightest. "Oh, come on, Scatorccio! Don't wanna get thrown back in juvie for assault, do you?" He laughs, "Or maybe you do! Find yourself a new girlfriend for the winter!"

Natalie's jaw tightens, and her wrist twitches, clearly debating whether this is worth her time.

"Come on, burnout! You packing heat or something? Let us see it! Is it the same gun you used to rob that corner store last year?" He continues laughing, but the taller one is not having it, discreetly tugging on his friends backpack and mumbling something.

"Natalie." You laugh nervously again, this time reaching out to gently grab her wrist as you see her hand move again, "Come on. It's not worth it." You hesitate a moment, and your awkward smile drops, "Please."

She tenses further at your touch, but the next time you look up at the two guys, you see the taller one clearly trying to leave. At least one of them has some sort of self-preservation instincts. Seemingly realising that they're going, her jaw immediately loses its tension. 

A moment of very tense silence passes between you, your hand still on Natalie's wrist, her hand still reaching for something in her waistband. Luckily (or unluckily), she breaks the silence with a loud, annoyed scoff.

"Christ, relax." She pulls away from you, audibly and visibly upset. "It was a fucking knife, Princess." She pulls out a switchblade and waves it once, "You seriously think I would carry a fucking gun or something on me?"

"I didn't know what you were carrying! Gun, knife, machete, fucking… nunchucks, I don't know! I just didn't wanna see you get into a fight!" You run your hands through your hair nervously, "Especially not with two guys double your size!" "First off," The blonde scoffs, putting the knife away again, "I don't need someone looking out for me, alright? If I choose to fucking get into a fight with two douchebags, that's on me. Second off, why do you even care? Huh? You don't even know me! We have hung out twice!"

"Maybe I'm just a decent person who doesn't want to see people get into fights?!" You counter, growing increasingly confused as to why she's getting mad at you now. "It's not that I agree with anything they said, Natalie! I just…" You throw your hands up in frustration. 

You do care about her, as stupid as it sounds. Despite not knowing her that long, you do care about her safety, and you really don't want to see her get hurt right now.

"I just don't want to see you get hurt, okay?" You say, softer this time. "Okay? I know it really isn't my place; I just… don't want you to get hurt, okay?"

Natalie's bravado seems to falter at that, and you see a flicker of guilt cross her face for a moment before it's gone, and she looks away with a scowl. "Yeah, well… whatever."

There are a very tense few moments of silence before Natalie seemingly can't take it, and she shakes her head with a grunt. "Whatever. I gotta get going. Like I said, shit to do tonight." She tosses the empty RedBull into the nearby trash can and makes to leave, but hesitates for a moment.

Turning her head slightly—but not properly facing you—she offers her parting words. "For the record," she starts, her voice soft, "you really aren't that bad, Princess. I'll make a burnout of you yet." Then she's off again, leaving you alone against the side of the school.

You're pretty sure that's a compliment. That being said, you don't really know with her, but you'll take it as a positive for now. What is it with her and leaving with ambiguous comments? 

Ugh.

When did relationships get so complicated?

a/n: ok MAYBE im taking some slight inspiration from the show... sue me. also... i don't think natalie would be the type of person to just rob random stores n shit. i really think she would only do it if she felt it was justified. shes not a bad person shes just rough around the edges ok 😔✊

...I've never had a buzzball and know nothing about soccer btw

[j0hnpr1c3sm1ssus]

FICMAS - DAY 4 - CHRISTMAS WITH HIS FAMILY

Title: Scottish Christmas

Synopsis: Going to Johnny's Mother's house for Christmas.

Warnings: I need to say this before ANYONE, especially someone who IS Scottish reads this. I AM NOT SCOTTISH. I DO NOT CLAIM TO BE SCOTTISH. I researched off of a glossary of slang derived from Scots English and Scots (Scots, Scots English, Scottish Gaelic, and English are ALL spoken in Scotland) and there is no clear location that Johnny is from within Scotland, so I kept it very general, and used slang to make up for my lack of knowledge. If ANY OF IT IS INCORRECT AND YOU NOTICE, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DM ORSEND AN ASK CORRECTING IT, I don't like being wrong and I don't want to offend anyone. Happy reading and Merry Christmas

AN: I tried to write this best as possible, I'm so sorry but it might be inaccurate to some degree, I'm merely an American (not to mention currently in busy because of the season) who's trying their damnedest to make this seem really accurate, yeah?

You're in a sweater--red--and jeans, your coat hanging over it all and black. Johnny is beside you, still struggling with his mittens a little, fidgeting because after all, this is the first time you're staying for more than a dinner with his *parents.* Your suitcase is behind you--obviously with the matching pajamas Johnny forced you into for Christmas photos because "His mam will simply die if she doesn't have a good photo!" Along with other effects, the things you'll need for the next bloody week.

Johnny fixes his mits entirely and grabs your gloved hand, reaching up and knocking on the door. He makes sure the cross his mother bought him for his 18th birthday is visible. He adjusts his cross, then his sweater.

Johnny's mom opens the door, pleasantly surprised to see you both.

"Ah! You're here!" She says with the largest grin, ushering your both inside.

"Johnny, lovie, go set your gifts by the tree, yeah?"

"'Ey, Mam, missed ya, too," he remarks with a devilish smirk, causing her to glare.

"You're lucky your thlittle burd is 'ere, keepin' me from yellin'. Love ya, too, John."

He shudders from his real name being used and walks off, trudging about in his snow boots all through the house. It makes his poor mother, Mrs. MacTavish, clutch her little necklace and scoff.

"D'ya see 'im? 'E's draggin' snow 'round the feckin' hoose," She says, absolutely offended by his actions.

You shrug, "He's like that at our home, too," you admit, taking your coat off.

Mrs. MacTavish scoffs, shaking her head in disdain, "Ye poor thin', 'ere, I'll take yer coa' an' ye go sit yers'lf doon."

She practically snatches your coat from you, pointing to where to take your shoes off.

You make it about.. three steps from the living room entrance and then you're positively bombarded by Johnny's three nieces and nephews- or, at least, the ones currently walking--Amelia, Noah, and Fraser. Johnny's sister shouts for them in Scottish Gaelic, sighing as those kiddos just don't listen.

You laugh as you're tackled to the ground, each one shouting "aun'ie," or "Aunt!" or your name horribly butchered by those cute little toddlery, Scottish voices.

You hug them all, slowly getting back up from the ground, to go say hi to his sister.

"Hey, Eden. How are you?" You ask, giving a nice, polite grin to her.

She smiles fondly, "'Ello- Haw! Simmer doon, 'Melia, aff yer brot'er!" She cuts herself off, glaring daggers to Amelia, who's currently tugging the hair of her brother, Noah.

She looks back up at you, "'M dooin' brand new," she says with a sarcastic glint in her eyes, before her newest baby who's she's currently bouncing in her arms starts to fuss.

She coos to him, before sighing and kissing his forehead, singing him some nursery rhyme to try to calm him.

That's when you feel two arms snake around your waist and pick you up, causing you to yelp.

"Johnny!" You shout out in a panic, squirming as he laughs and laughs. Eden's baby turns his little head and looks up all wide eyed, starting to laugh and laugh.

Eden seems to relax, sighing in relief while you're being brutally attacked loved on by Johnny.

You finally turn around to face him with that unamused expression you give him and he sighs, wrapping his arms around you and nuzzling your neck lovingly. You let out an annoyed huff, rolling your eyes with a small grin.

Dinner that night is lovely--a nice brisket with the promise of a big Christmas dinner tomorrow. Tonight Eden, the kids, and Mrs. MacTavish all bake a mince pie, a Scottish tradition you never really.. understood.

You sit beside Johnny, curled up to his side, his feet on the ottoman. He has an arm wrapped around you, rubbing your shoulder as he and Mr. MacTavish, along with his brother-in-law all gather around to watch whatever Rugby match played earlier in the week--the highlights of it. Your eyes shut and you snuggle up to his side a little further, wrapping an arm around him and letting yourself fall asleep.

He looks happy down at you, sipping on a (spiked) eggnog, reaching up to stroke your hair as you start to just... drift.

[ch1l1cheesefr1es]

Jealousy, plain ol' Jealousy.

Merle dixon x FTM reader part 2

Context: you and Merle reunite, the governor assigns the two of you on a mission to find Michonne. First try you couldn't find her, so Merle told the governor, he came back seeming a bit off and you both go looking for her again, he tells you whats wrong and you put matters in your hands ;)

Warnings: +18, nudity, hard sex,age gap, flirting, violence, slurs (f!ggot, Tranny, etc. This is my first time making a book like this so I hope I don't offend anyone)

Merle shoved his face into your pussy, tasting you're juices. A soft chuckle escapes his lips as he continued "Nothing you need to worry about boy... Just relaxing you for what's to come." he licked a path from your pussy to your hole, teasing you with his tongue, you bit your lip and looked back. He flipped you and laid you down on you're back, he spreaded your legs and looked down at you, practically drooling. He started eating you out, biting, sucking and licking you. You bit you're lip as you saw his nose getting smothered as he ate you out, once it became to much for you, you tried pulling him away, only for him to continue and lick your juices. You moaned and kept trying but ended up running your fingers through his hair, finally he pulled away panting "that was my best meal yet Fruitcake" he said as he wiped his mouth with his arm. You saw that he was still wearing clothes "hey...that aint fair." you said, he looked at you confused "you're still wearing clothes." he then realized he was, he grinned and slowly took off his wifebeater, revealing his toned chest. He took off his boxers and pants, revealing his hard throbbing dick, aching to be inside you. You blushed and felt anxious, he was...big, very big than you expected it to be. Merle pushed you down against the seat and opened your legs, he smirked and began to rock his hips against yours, his erection sliding effortlessly against your wet folds. Teasing you as his cock rubbed against the sensitive bundle of nerves "...what should i fuck?" he asked himself, you could only buck your hips against his. whimpering and whining for more "such a naughty boy aren't ya?" he whispered in you're ear, finally he slowly slid inside you.

You moaned loudly but Merle covered you're mouth "shhh...sorry baby, as much as I want to hear those Beautiful sounds we cant let them brainless assholes hear us can we?" he placed your leg up on his shoulder after letting go of you're mouth, but placed his hand back on you're mouth. He thrusted upward, little wet sounds of skin slapping against skin could be heard in the car. you're eyes rolled back and muffled moans came out of you as Merle fucked you deliciously "Mmhh sweetheart...look at you...and here I thought you hated my guts, but now you can't seem to get enough of me.." he did one big hard thrust that made you see the stars. You bit the skin of his hand gently as tears of pleasure streamed down you're face, you felt yourself getting close to you're peak, and even merle could sense it "Merle....oh fuck...i-im gonna-"

"cum for me boy, tell you want me to cum inside you."

finally with one hard thrust you both came at the same time, his breathing slowed down as hr slid out of you and he kissed your cheek, and licked it aswell "Merle!" you said laughing "what sweetheart?" he smirked "I think we should go back to woodbury" Merle looked at you "nah, i think i'll lay ontop of you." he said smiling, feeling his body heat press against yours, you tried pushing him off but failed, it felt comforting to have him ontop of you, you started to bury your face against his warm soft neck, smelling his scent and getting tired "Merle.." you mumbled "yeah boy?" he asked

"I love you."

You told him, he was quiet for a few seconds Before saying

"You dont know what you're getting yourself into Y/N, but I wont stop you."

[amymbona]

“Every night when I go to bed, I dream of walking up to hundreds of asks in my inbox that could captivate my attention for the whole day and I wouldn't be able to stop writing”

i feel the need to reveal myself as i’m a sucker for fics and i recommended the blurb of soft patrick 🤭 i love your writing style.

you should totally write something where patrick fails to find anyone who truly understands him except for the reader (yk cause they’ve known each other for forever and the reader is like perfect for him and just an overall amazing person). and he fails to find anyone to connect with, if u know what i mean 😈 PLS GET IT IM SO SORRY IDK HOW TO WORD MY THOUGHTS I LOVE JOSH O’CONNOR

"I LOVE JOSH O'CONNOR" WE ALL CHANT IN UNISON🙌🙌🙌🙌

Patrick Zweig, and I stand by this fact, is absolutely in need of a person who wouldn't judge him for any of his actions. Who'd simply listen, hold him if there's a need (and believe me, there is), and simply let him cry his eyes out. He needs a person who wouldn't sugarcoat anything but at the same time is soft spoken and won't yell at him for simply voicing his worries.

And that person is you.

You're the one who holds him after Tashi's injury, after both his girlfriend and his best friend completely wipe him out of their lives, as a result of something he couldn't possibly control. He lays on your lap, head resting on the soft flesh of your thighs, the four walls of your neat dorm swallowing him in a small bubble of warmth and comfort. And you hold him, fingers delicately running through the mess of his curls, while allowing him to ramble for hours on.

"It's just so unfair to me, like how could I possibly guess that this would happen. Not like I was the one who kicked her to the ground and broke her leg."

He's livid, only too physically exhausted to do something about it, to go slap Tashi like she deserves. His poor boy, despite being familiar with the toughest of trainings, can only handle so much, and then mix of his unsatisfied libido and psychosomatic stomach ache doesn't do him any good.

"And that bastard. Did you see him? He wouldn't even let me talk to her! Acting like her fucking bodyguard."

That is the true twist of the knife stabbed into Patrick's heart, the betrayal of his best of friends, the guy he thought he could trust with his own life. It's simply something that Patrick thought would never, ever happen, the complete one-hundred his best man did. Even you can't really believe what you hear.

"I know, Pat," you whisper, the soft movement of your fingers in his hair faltering as you zone off a bit, trying to come up with the best words to soothe him down. Even though it would be best if you just stayed quiet.

Patrick, too used to the comforting touch you've given him, grabs your wrist with an agitated huff and demonstrates the soft scratching of his scalp, silently demanding more.

So you continue, sighing softly and giving Patrick what he wants. You know this will help calm him down, so why not oblige. You'd much rather see him content, at least partially happy where he is.

"It's just unfair," he pout, nuzzling his face deeper into your lower tummy, an arm thrown around your thighs, holding onto you tightly, "Fucking manipulator. I bet he's fucking her right now."

The voice, despite muffled against the fabric of your sweater, actually make you shudder. The sheer idea of someone betraying their best friend purely for the interest in a girl - someone's girl - seems completely unforgivable. Patrick is definitely not in the wrong for being the offended one here.

"Then what if he is," you mutter, hoping to deliver your words in the best suitable tone to Patrick's ears. "Let the shitty people stay together, Patrick. You're better than them."

Patrick's shoulders tremble lightly at your words and he wants to sob, so so deeply trying to take your words to heart, to really believe them. But he's hurt at the moment. And he doesn't believe he is better than anyone else, let alone Tashi and Art who have been percieved as perfect in his eyes so far. Up until now. At the moment, you're the purest image of perfection, the embodiment of it. And he doesn't believe you're actually with him.

"Don't leave me," he simply whispers, too vulnerable to look you in the eyes while saying it. He hopes the light squeeze of your thighs is enough to let you know how much he really needs you.

You sigh, looking down at the mop of curls on your lap, fingers slowly untangling the mess that somebody left there. "I won't, don't worry."

[punkshitposts]

genuine question, sorry if it's stupid or something

I'm all for ACAB truly, I mean that

but genuinely... if let's say someone I know goes missing or gets severely injured, what do I do instead of call the cops?

This ISN'T a stupid question at all actually this is a really common thing that comes up on both sides of the pro vs anti cop debate:

there's no good answer i can currently give you, and any answer i CAN give might not be accurate to where you live. AFAIK, in America, you can't call 911 and specifically request they don't send cops (I guess you can, but the operator doesn't have to abide by your request). In America, at least, our system just isn't set up to minimize cop interactions because cops ARE the center of the system. Telling you that you can absolutely in all circumstances get away with not interacting with cops would be irresponsible of me- you don't have to like it, I definitely don't, but until a better one is put in place we'll occasionally have to use the system to get what we want and need.

any potential 911 alternatives are generally situation specific and regional.

so, what can you do instead:

INJURY: assess. is this person already critical?

YES: you are likely going to have to bite the bullet to call 911, unless you live somewhere you can call the emergency direct to EMS.

NO: Can you move them? Can you or someone else transport them? Will they MAKE it to the hospital using these means of transportate? <- if all of these are YES, take them directly to the Emergency Room yourself and forgoe 911. If any are NO: you are likely going to need to call 911 and interact the cops that show up to save injured person.

MISSING PERSON: I don't think I can in good faith tell you that this would be a situation where you could avoid cops. It could both further any potential danger the missing individual is in, and i believe not filing a report could potentially get you yourself into trouble.

what you may be able to do instead: assess. Where SHOULD the person be? Is there any likely alternative places they could be at? can you or someone else check those places? What reason could they have to not be in the place they should be? Is this out-of-character? How long has it been since they were last seen? Do you believe they could be in danger?

Depending on the answers: First: Assuming that to classify someone as a "Missing Person", several people know their missing and not just you. if that's wrong... you should probably go tell other people. Second: I hate to say it. This is a bite-the-bullet and file a report. Third: Call applicable hotlines. Fourth: Organize search efforts. While official channels have now been used for all legal reasons, Do Not Rely On Them.

YOU ARE IN ACTIVE DANGER: Assess. Do you have the time or ability to call someone else to come help you?

YES: Make contact attempt with this person. With key words being "Active Danger", it is might probably be time to bite-the-bullet again after that. Self-Defense laws vary wildly regionally, even city-to-city, so know what yours are ahead of this. If you have to defend yourself and the offender is injured or killed, the 911 call will in most cases help you PROVE self defense.

NO: See above, minus first sentence. For clarity, I'm NOT using"Active Danger" as ye olde hostile interaction or generalized unsafe situations, but more on the lines of "active home invasion" or "person actively Trying to kill me dead right at this very second"

im not going to tell you that you should absolutely never call 911, that's incredibly irresponsible of me. im not going to tell you to let yourself or someone else die to avoid cops. in an ideal world, we would have a completely different system to use wherein "is it safer to call or to not call emergency services?" isn't a question anyone has to ask, but we don't live in that word right now. And, again and as always please feel free to add your own opinions, stances, takes, ect and to ask me to clarify things that don't make sense. This is an incredibly loaded topic that I make no claims to be an expert on, but I did answer you to the best of my current ability. I apologize for any and all clunky/awkward wordings and phrasings , and this post will probably get edited™ sometime in the future.

[ask-the-pale-elf]

Tav had bought some box of makeup from a little shop,they touched the wooden box it had pretty delicate carvings on the borders and it had the faint scent of honey coming from it. The materials where clearly hight quality and looked luxurious, the old woman from the shop was an expert and chose a box of items that would compliment their skin tone and eyes, her eyes glinting with happiness, she clearly took pride on her trade.

They payed the 200 gold and thanked the shopkeeper and gently put the little box into a bag and wondered back into camp, trying their best to not be seen by anyone, slightly coy at their new purchase. and after not attracting much attention to themselves they changed into the cutes tclothes they had, and started to apply the makeup. most of it wasnt so difficult and they seemed pleased with it, but when they had to add the damned potted lipstick with the brush, they felt defeated as nothing looked right, when they heard someone standing quietly in front of their tent.

"Hello? who is it?" Tav triest their best to sound composed as they take off the lipstick with a damp cloth.

(Im sorry about my english lmao, I hope I didnt mess up too much)

Despite your best efforts to hide your latest purchase, Astarion's perceptive eyes landed on the makeup box you purchased earlier. His interest piqued when you immediately rushed into your tent, it would be oh so selfish of you to keep your find all to yourself. Astarion sought to remedy that.

He leaned his arm against the supporting beam of your tent and looked in, "Darling, I can't believe you kept this from me!"

His faux shock was emphasized by his hand being dramatically placed over his dead heart, "You bought all this makeup and didn't think to invite me? Shame on you!"

After revelling in the fake scandal, he made you scooch over and his nimble fingers hovered over your new collection. Then something else catches his eye, he sees you in your adorable little outfit and your attempts at applying the lipstick, "Oh darling... I. Am. Offended! That you didn't ask me for help. I am the expert on beauty within this camp after all, so.."

He gingerly plucked the potted lipstick from your hands and examined it, "Oh it's been a few decades since I've last used this but... I know exactly how to use this to make you absolutely gorgeous."

He gently pushed you down onto your back and loomed over you, "Don't get the wrong idea, I need a better angle for this. Now close your eyes~"

As you do as he says, you hear the gentle clinking of bottles and feel gentle brush strokes against your skin. If you try to crack one eye open, Astarion scolds you by bapping your eyelid with a dry brush.

The moment he gets off of you, you hear some shuffling within the tent. The moment the shuffling stops, a familiar voice brings you back, "I do hope you're not sleeping, my dear. Open your eyes."

The moment you sit up and open your eyes, you're met with yourself. Your lips delicately painted red, as if they were kissed by a rose. Your eyes accented by black eyeliner also, deepened by eye shadow that complimented your skin. It was subtle yet head turning.

With a mirror in hand facing you, Astarion preened at his latest creation, "I think I've outdone myself, now hold your applause-"

A moment passed and you could feel his impatience emanating through the air, "Don't wait too long, I do love a little appreciation for my work."

[forbidd3n-w1re]

Letting the walls down - Billy Butcher x Reader

hey-ho! i've had this idea for a while and had to pour it out, enjoy! 

 originally this was supposed to be a butcher x reader but while writing it i put in a tiny bit of hughie x reader, i mean you can see it if you squint lol-

 summary : you and butcher have been somewhat okay friends for a while, and even though he doesn't want to acknowledge it, he cant push everyone away.

 warnings : so much angst (i feed off of it.) nightmares, beating up, billy actually being nice to someone(you lol), billy also attacking hughie, scars, panic attack, flashbacks, heavy alcohol use, passing out, venting, traumatic past, mention of shootings, "cunt"'s (tell me if i forgot something please!)

 if any of these trigger you, please dont read this fanfic!

commission : nope!

 word count : ≈2800 words

 genre : angst, hurt/comfort (someone's gotta do it, right?)

(im so sorry this is so long i went wild with this one)

 //////~~`×`~~//////

Butcher wasn't a talkative type when it comes to his past. In fact, he never let anyone come close enough to him to know him very well. In the team, he was just the leader, the one that organized the plan and the strategy, the one that went head-first into danger.

You? You we're the one that held the team like a magnet.

When Hughie first joined, Butcher looked like he'd screw his head off if he made one wrong step. Every single time Butcher offended him and told him he was a cunt, you'd fight back for him. You knew that Hughie had it in him, he knew how to be defensive, but at that time it was risky to talk back to Butcher due to the fact how much Billy hated him. It happened a lot. It was like you were Butcher's tranquilizer.

Hughie appreciated everytime you stood on his side, even after every glare Billy made to you. Billy knew the death glare would work on Hughie because he looked like he shat his pants, but you? You did not twitch at all. No shiver. Nothing. You couldn't even bother to look back at him.

Sooner or later, Butcher's "cunt"'s and "wimp"'s that were addressed to Hughie weren't that frequent anymore. Sure, Butcher without using the word cunt at least once in a day was nonexistent, but they weren't said to Hughie anymore.

Until one day they had a pretty big fight about the new member, Annie, AKA Starlight. Butcher, the no.1 Supe hater immediately started swearing at Hughie for bringing her to the hideout. After some time, Annie left, and then the shit hit the fan.

"Oi, kid. Who the fuck do you think you are, bringin' over here some random chick? Who is, apparently, a fuckin' Supe?" Butcher started yelling at the guy, pushing him around.

"Listen, I-I know it wasn't a good idea, but please, hear me out--"

Butcher grabbed Hughie by the collar, slamming him against a pillar hardly, and the smaller figure of Hughie's let out a loud grunt.

"Shut yer' fuckin' trap right the fuck now. Do yer' understand in what danger we could be if she had a mic?" Butcher held his collar more tightly now, looking at him like he might just chop off his head at that moment. "No, you don't, Hughie. You know why? 'Cause you're nothing but a trashy, shitty li'l cunt who had managed to grab a single bit of luck to join my little team. If you continue being a little pussy, I swear on my mother that i will-"

Sensing that the fight seriously escalated, and totally not because Hughie had started to breathe more shallowly because of how hardly his chest was pressed against the pillar, you stood off the couch, grabbed a foldable plastic chair and pushed Butcher as far away from Hughie as you could.

Butcher not detecting the sudden attack had a much more violent tone in his voice now. He wanted a fair fight.

"Oi, the fuck do you think you're doin', li'l shit?" Not bothering to deal with Butcher's bickering, you focused on helping Hughie not fall down as he heaped for gasps of air.

"Hey, Hughie, focus. Focus on your breathing, alright?" You got the comment from other members of the team that you and Billy actually had a lot in common, but the calmness of your voice was something Billy could never achieve probably. Hughie looked at you, his look revealing how many apologies he wanted to tell you for making this now your problem, but you only gave him a hopeful nod and a smile. "Go take a seat on the couch. I have an inhalator in one of my jackets if you need it, alright hun?" Hughie only let out a quiet agreement, following your orders.

Butcher, on the other hand, his eye twitched a little when hearing the nickname you gave Hughie. He knew that the nicknames you gave to the team were all in platonic meanings, but he still felt that little twinge in his heart when he knew the silly nicknames weren't for him.

You followed up now to Butcher, staring up at him. He reeked of alcohol, probably from last night, and cigarettes. He tried to hold up a pissed face to you, but you knew he couldn't do it. Everyone has their secrets, Butcher's was his past, and the fact that everytime you looked badass, he loved it.

"Stay the fuck away from him, or I will pluck out your little so-called "bollocks", one by one, painfully." There was your angry tone, along with a bit of mocking his british dialect. Others were right, you guys did have a lot in common. Billy only smirked at your threat. Billy pushed past you, grabbing his jacket, and stated something that made you chuckle. "Im going out for a drink, try to stay out of the little wimp's underwear while I'm gone."

Hughie and you were alone in the hideout now. Annie left, M.M. was in a visit to his daughter, and Frenchie and Kimiko went on a date.

Approaching the curly haired figure, you heard his small coughing fits. Surely Butcher didn't hurt him that badly, right?

"Hughie? Hun, you alright?" Putting your hand on his shoulder from behind, you jumped over next to him. Hughie brought his head up, only this time he wasn't startled.

"Yeah, I'm alright. Thank you for everything that you've done, really. Especially back there, not everyone has the guts to practically throw Butcher away with a chair." He gave you a small smile.

"No problem. Besides, he shouldn't act like that towards anyone. And Annie was really sweet too-"

Hughie stopped you, quickly apologizing, but immediately continuing.

"No, no, I understand him. I shouldn't have done that, besides he isn't a big fan of Supes, and Annie might've had a mic but I know she wouldn't. We can't be careful enough, if they find us we're practically doomed." Hughie was now on Butcher's side at this point.

"But, you know… He does have a weak spot for you." Hughie gave you a smirk, knowing that if you had water in your mouth you'd probably spit it out after hearing this.

"Pardon?" You looked at him with wide eyes, not believing a single word the curly haired boy just said.

"Back there, when you threatened him. I know that he has this façade of his where he pretends like he's the strongest man alive, but he gave you a smile upon hearing you. I think he even liked the fact that you weren't scared to stand up to him."

You got up from the couch, looking at Hughie with the biggest shock. "What the hell do you mean?"

Hughie just smirked, "You should go check up on him. See how he's doing. I think you're the only one of us that might get closer to him. Don't tell him I sent you there though, please." Nodding in agreement, you grabbed one of your oversized leather jackets and went to the door. Soon, Hughie stopped you.

"Oh, and Y/N? Thank you."

"No problem, hun." And you headed out to find your stupid ass loverboy.

//////~~`×`~~//////

Heading into the bar, you looked at the clock that was placed next to the cups. The clock showed half past 11, and your view fell onto the slouched, buff figure that was Billy. Walking up to him, you tapped flicked his head lightly as a sign for him to wake up.

"Oiiii, yer lil cuntttt…" He sounded wasted more than he ever was. He used to drink a lot on work, one time he even wanted to dance with M.M., but the 17 glasses of whisky gave you a very bad impression on how he felt right now.

"Hi to you too, cunt ass." You lightly shook him with a small curl of your lips on your face showing.

"The fock do ya want, kid? Can't you see a man tryin' to enjoy himself?" His british accent came out even more unclear when he was intoxicated, which would be funny if he wasn't laying down on the table, alone in the pub. "Go get me another round, be useful for once, N/N." That was a new one, you never heard anyone from the team use a nickname on you.

"Absolutely not. Butcher, c'mon, get up, we're leaving." You tried to give him a hand, but he wouldn't budge.

"Where the hell we goin'?" He groggily asked.

"Im driving you to my home since I don't know your adress.Now Butch, please, cooperate."

Agreeing for once, he put his arm around your shoulders and hung onto you as he struggled to walk.

Walking to your car, you felt like you were walking sideways the whole time, probably because he was much bigger than you. "Lean onto the car, Butch, okay? I have to get my keys, then I'll help you get in the car." You felt the need to give him instructions and steps for everything, because after seeing him passed out on that table circled with whiskey shots, you felt more safe if you did that. Listening to your idea, he leaned on, and you quickly unlocked the car and opened his door. "Alright, hun, let's get you in." Your arm sneaked around his torso, guiding him to sit down into the passenger seat. He smiled lightly at the nickname. Buckling him up, you closed the door lightly and went into your seat, turning on the car and driving away.

//////~~`×`~~//////

Driving around the city, you realized Butcher was quietly snoring. Probably the most peaceful you've ever seen him.

Parking into your backyard garrage, you got out of your car and went to Billy's side, unbuckling him. "Hey, hun, wake up." You lightly gave him a slap on his right cheek, figuring it was a better idea than pouring a bucket of ice on him. Unfortunately, he was not a light sleeper. Giving up, you put your arms around him once more and somehow getting him out of the car, making him lean onto the vehicle for a moment while you locked it.

Swinging your arm once again, you went into your house and layed him down on the couch. By now, it was way past midnight and you came to the conclusion that he wont be waking up until the morning. You went into your bedroom, taking off your work clothes and dressing up into your pj's. Grabbing your phone for a sec to text Hughie that Butcher is in an okay condition, unfortunately you were stopped by Butcher's grunts from the living room.

Getting up and sighing, you realized how much your eyes were close to closing themselves and going off to sleep, how much your arms felt like you had a fist fight with someone and how much your legs burned, including your back that was almost folded in half by Butcher's weight while you carried him. You were tired, but you needed to keep the team in top shape. After all, you were their magnet, which also meant that you should be there for everyone, even Butcher. Even Butcher, who behaved like a bag of shit towards everyone. Knocking on the door side, you stepped in the living room, the floors creaking.

"Butcher, is everything alright?"

Your eyes headed towards his sleeping figure, but he didn't look like he was enjoying his resting time as he kept shivering and thrashing in several points of the night. You got the blanket at the table next to you, slowly putting it over him. The blanket used to provide you heat, but also comfort and a safe space. Maybe it would also work for him. Hopefully.

You wanted to bet that if Frenchie and M.M. were in the room with you right now, they'd probably take a bunch of pictures to make fun of you both. Thankfully, they weren't here, and you thought that Butcher might sometimes lack of rest. Climbing onto the couch, you lightly rose his head up and sat down, putting his head onto your lap and ruffling his hair. He was taller, so you didn't get a lot of opportunities to ruffle his hair at all. You didn't even know you wanted to do that, but you did either way.

Although he was a heavy sleeper, apparently he realized what you were doing. Still woozy from the alcohol and driving around, he barely recognized the place he was in when he woke up, but what he did see was your face. Along with the blanket that you gave him. Snuggling a bit closer to you, he pulled the blanket up closer to you so that you don't feel left out and he mumbled something.

"Didn't hear you, love… Mind trying to repeat it?" You spoke, removing a bit of his hair from his forehead, feeling that he was sweating a bit.

"Hnnnnhhh….y'know 'm nun' like 'im…" His drowsy voice was back, and even though you loved how calm he sounded, you started to get a bit worried. You didn't know the real reason why he was so uptight with everyone, not letting his guard down.

"Like who, love?"

"My fatherrrr…" You don't know his past. You shouldn't jump to conclusions. You only knew that he didn't like his father because Hughie told you that once when you went out for a coffee.

You face was forming a very sad look, trying to keep yourself at bay and not let a few tears drop down to his head. You have to stay strong for everyone. For you. For him.

"No… No, Billy, you're not. You will never be like him. You're better, darling, you know that yourself already." Stay strong. Keep yourself at bay.

"Yeh…yeh…y'know, those scars on my back, the ones you saw during the fight in Russia when you treated my wounds…" His voice didn't sound confused by the alcohol anymore, rather just sad, guilty and ashamed.

"Yeah, what about them love?"

"He did that to me. With a belt. Like I was a fuckin' animal. I tried to save him, Y/N, I-I really did." He was sniffling. If you weren't having the table lamp turned on, you'd think he has a pollen allergy.

This is where your façade started breaking down.

"Who, hun? Who did you try to save?"

"Lenny, my brother. He…" Butcher stopped, looking like he's having an internal fight with himself whether he should continue, because he's showing his vunerable side now. "He shot himself. Because of me." Tears started sliding down his cheeks, silent ones that have shown how much he has been through. How much he has been keeping the truth in for himself. How long he kept it from the public, knowing that if he was left alone his whole life he'd probably rot. The tears showed how much he hated himself for his actions, for leaving his younger brother unprotected, for not standing up to his father more often (even though he tried his best), how much he missed Becca, how much he regretted for leaving Ryan with Homelander, how much he hates looking vunerable. You, though? You didn't question any of his actions. You simply brushed away his tears and gave him a peck in his hair.

"I'm so sorry, love. I'm sorry that happened. Some things just make us stronger, but you were a child back then, you didn't deserve any of this. You didn't deserve to be treated like trash from your father. You didn't deserve Homelander suddenly flying fuck knows where with Ryan. Darling,"

You started, wiping another tear and smiling at him softly. He loved seeing your smile, whether it was a feisty one or a caring one, a silly one or a tired one. It made him feel… loved. "I believe in you. You are literally the strongest person I know. Not a monster. Not a killing machine. Not nothing. You are a person, just like the rest of us."

He sat back up from his sleeping position, only to lay his head down onto your shoulder. You've never seen him this affectionate, nobody probably ever has besides Becca. She was a nice woman, you remember Butcher showing pictures of her sometimes, it's a shame she had to die like that.

"Hey, Y/N." He looked at you.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for being a kind cunt."

"Back with your cuntiness, i see…" you chuckled, and he only closed his eyes again, deciding to fall into the slumber of sleep once again.

"Love ya', Y/N."

You swore you felt heat rise to your cheeks, hell if your blood wasn't all the way into your brain like you were hanging off of something.

"…Love you too, Billy."

His beard tickled the everloving shit of you, but you didn't have the guts to wake him up again. Not while he's getting something he hasn't had for a while, rest. Before joining him in the nap, you swung your arm across his shoulders, pulling him in closer. He seemed to like the action, scooting a bit closer to you.

 //////~~`×`~~//////

AAAA i hope you liked the fic!! i usually dont write a lot, but since the fandom needs more x reader fanfics (esp angst because im so good at it, haha slay), i've came in clutch! B)

 till next time!!

[krash-and-co]

hey krash, i wanted to reach out and say that i'm so sorry that you got such a hurtful reaction from one of the l&co servers for speaking up about something that genuinely needed to be addressed. i won't badmouth anyone in particular but this is not the first time this fandom has dogpiled someone over a misunderstanding, and when it happened to me i had severe anxiety over it for about a week even after it was resolved, and eventually left because of it. it left a pretty bad taste in my mouth for the fandom in general, so i mostly just stick to my small group of mutuals now lol. i wish this fandom truly was different from other fandoms, but this kind of thing is unfortunately inevitable once something reaches a certain level of popularity. but that certainly doesn't make it okay, and you didn't do anything to deserve the reaction you got. i hope you can feel peace about it soon, and i'm sorry again that it happened at all. 🫂

(please don't feel pressured to answer this if you'd rather the matter be left alone, i totally understand. i just wanted to send you an ask because i didn't know if you're comfortable with dms.)

hi im so sorry i forgot to answer!!! thank you so much this means so much to me. 💙💙💙 i read this for the first time when i was feeling pretty attacked and it really cheered me up <3

hmm other people have been telling me about how they got attacked in this fandom too. and maybe this shouldn't have surprised me as much as it did. but it's something fans never talk about and claim doesn’t exist, so i thought it didn’t. i was horribly fooled lol. as, uh, i am about to rant about; do you mind? u don’t have to read it, i won’t be offended, but halfway thru answering this ask it turned into a rant i wanted to release into the world lol, so sorry about that 😭😭😭

very important disclaimer!!! this is NOT about everyone. ABSOLUTELY NOT. most of you are absolutely amazing people, and i assure you if ur worried this is about you, it’s prob not lol

ANYWAYS!!!

im kind of feeling i was betrayed?? ig? i rlly believed everyone was so kind, and look what i know now. it genuinely seems like people are gaslighting themselves. how else do they only see our ‘harm?’ yeah, our fandom is known for being passionate, but saying we’re known for kindness is starting to make me sick. maybe we were, i know a lot of us still are, but throwing that out there in the middle of your hypocritical hate post seems like justification for the shit things people have been saying. you can say no wrong so long as you’re here. only people who don’t agree with you. so yeah, fuck krash and ljc and anyone else who doesn't agree!!! that totally shows how kind you are and how much you loved the fandom before we messed it up. nobodys visibly mad, cuz we're too scared to say shit!!!

i’ve seen too many examples of the contrary from the “victims,” wailing about how cruel we are the second they disagree with someone. (in a highly hypocritical manner, at that.) “everyone was so happy before this!” no, they weren’t, that’s why i brought it up. “stop bringing hate to this fandom! now let me fucking berate you!” do you even hear yourself? “nobody even cared before, we were all content!” we weren’t all content, we were just silent. it sometimes looks the same.

someone even declared they were leaving the fandom because ‘one person wanted to stop show saving efforts entirely because it traumatized them, and this is no longer a safe place.’ like, what? where did you even get that? for one, there were at least two of us posting together, and that’s just barely knowing anything about what’s happening. thats not even touching on how one of us (idk who the op of that post was talking about, it’s a 50/50 lol) made the fandom an unsafe place for our personal gain. what?

hella kind. hella safe on their part.

another said they saw only old fans agreeing about this so it’s just us being pissed about change. it’s us hating the show. me and ljc being upset about not being the only “big blogs” any more. our fandom is only for the elite, etc. fuck us. yet ljc is getting blackmailed. we’re getting hate replies. friends that try and help get attacked. misinformation spread. how did that even happen? we never once tried to hurt anyone; thank you to those who understand.

but to some, WE’RE the ones in the wrong.

do they SEE themselves? how hypocritical all of this is? or are their heads that far up in the ass of their petition and beloved fake idea of this fandom that they care about more than all of us?

now, this is where i add another “not everyone” message. not everyone is like this, this is not me saying i hate the petition or people who support it. hell, i signed the petition. twice. and once more from my mothers email.

i don’t regret the i love you posts i made, because i still do love this fandom, i am still absolutely here for the rest of yall. but DAMN if we weren’t hiding something under happy Save The Show, I Love Locknation! messages. perfectly smiling faces until they bite. i was surprised to see how many people did.

as if our previous problems weren’t enough, now it turned into this lol. no, that’s a lie, it didn’t. it already was, and i HATE THAT.

ig im kinda spoiled, i never really experienced hate like this from this fandom before. but now i know it happened BEFORE too, and that just pisses me off. it hurts coming from a group who says they love us. genuinely wacko (not the fun kind) behavior :[

i know this isn’t everyone’s experience, but it is mine, and enough others to make me wanna say this. and this is ofc me and @lucy-j-carlyle 's brand of hate, not yours. but it does happen and the constant chant that IT DOESN'T IT DOESNT IT DOESN'T isn't helping anyone. and now I know.

idk what im even saying anymore lol, sorry for ranting. what i mean to say is, thank you, and i wish things were better. and i love you kind people. im happy it’s most of you.

[martiansodas-blog]

Hi I saw that your request are open

Can I request a Pedro pascal x plus!size reader that is an actress and she got the role in the last of us as Theresa/Tess or a made up character and people where really surprised to see her on screen again because when she was working on legacies she got a lot of hatred because of the character she was playing hope mikealson a lot of fans were telling her how she was so fat for the role and how she wasn’t pretty enough to play the main character of the show but she ignored what people said about her and how she looks like so maybe when there in an interview the person asked how she is doing because it seems that the hate comments are back the reader says she’s fine because she delt with the hate comments before and she just ignores them because there opinions don’t matter. all that matters to the reader is her family and friends because in the past she used to struggle with body positivity but she learned how to love herself and other people who are struggling with the same thing can learn how to love themselves like they have permission to love themselves because it doesn’t matter what body shape they are they are still beautiful (maybe the reader can say that or something related to body positivity)( I forgot to add that the reader is Pedro’s wife)

All our bodies

• Pedro Pascal x actress! plus size! reader

• Summary: After taking a few years off acting due to bullying, Pedro’s wife makes a comeback as Tess in TLOU.

• Word count: 543

• Authors note: Im also plus size ◡̈ This was requested months ago… sorry luv. I tried to write on it here and there but I have a full time job and going through relationship problems. You probably won’t see much original content from me for the foreseeable future. There’s just no time.

Xx

“You did a great job, you know that right?”

“I know, but listen. People like Tess, not me. I'm so nervous the media is gonna take one look at me in that interview and go back to treating me like shit.”

Tears began to form in your eyes. Pedro took your face in his hands and stroked your warm cheeks, calming you down.

He loved touching your face like this. It may seem strange but he loved the different textures of it. Your pimples and freckles are a part of you, why would he want to change that? In his eyes there is nothing wrong with you. You’re so unique.

Various social media accounts don’t feel the same. It really angers them that plus size people exist. You’ve never had a controversy, you’ve never wronged anyone in the industry, in fact people adored working with you. But you weren’t the carefully crafted, soft spoken, slim model that others expect. And it offends them.

It offends them that you’re this certain weight and not actively trying to change it. That you’re not ashamed of it. When you were at the height of your fame people accused you of promoting an unhealthy lifestyle. Without you even voicing an opinion on your own body, or showing the meals you eat.

It upset people that you didn’t care about their opinion.

“Anyone who wants to say something negative is gonna have to go through me first, hermosa.”

A smile broke free from your nerves. You stood on your tiptoes and kissed him. You whispered into his mouth,

“I love you”

“I love you too” he whispered back before deepening the kiss.

He put his large hands across the small of your back to pull you closer but you resisted.

“We should stop or you'll be late!”

He cupped your face and kissed you slowly, r eally making you feel the shape of his lips and the sweetness of them.

“It’d be worth it.”

• • •

“Did you feel pressure to change for this role?”

What the interviewer was trying to ask was “did you feel pressure to lose weight for this role?”

It wasn’t a totally preposterous question considering your line of work, but it was still a little invasive.

You thought about Pedro’s words. How he never doubted for a second you would make the perfect Tess.

You got a burst of confidence. You’re going to say how you really feel. The only opinion that was important to you was your lovers.

“What my body looks like always seems to be the topic of conversation, doesn’t it? Not my work or awards, but what I look like.”

The interviewer avoided your eyes, embarrassed.”

“I did my best to honor Tess in this series. To be frank, I don’t think Tess would give a fuck what she looked like. She was focused on being strong and supportive. All our bodies look different but that’s for a reason. What matters most is that you take care of it.”

When you looked over at Pedro he was beaming at you. He was so proud of his Cariño.

“I’m afraid that’s all the time we have for offensive questions.” he said and grabbed your hand to leave the interview.

[ryuichirou]

Replies

First of all, sorry to all of those who didn’t get my boops in return!! I send them even now but mentally. Boop.

I ended up spending all my writing time on headcanons… but still, here are some regular replies!

A couple about Idia, a couple about fandom stuff.

Anonymous asked:

THE GAY THOUGHTS ARE OVERTAKING IDIA

this seems like a pre-photo of that one art you did with idia and Lilia in the concert bathroom ngl... perhaps they are related??

Ohh, you remember that one!!

Technically yes, this is pretty much the same story, just the before and after thing lol Although they’re dressed differently in these two posts (my bad), both of them stem from the same scenario Katsu and I came up with a year ago.

Anonymous asked:

Alright, so we see how Idia reacts when someone reacts aggressively against the crap he says but what would happen if he says a snide remark to someone and then they proceed to verbally and psychologically obliterate him on the spot? Would he freeze up, talk back?

We’ve seen it with Sebek a couple of times, even though Sebek doesn’t really obliterate him psychologically (he is much weaker than Idia in this sense…), but I think Idia tends to talk back. Idia is quite stubborn, and talking back and escalating the situation is one of his biggest defence mechanisms. He is the master shit-talker and a genius of snark, so he might win against the majority of people + he is so self-deprecating that not a lot of people would know what to say to him to actually hurt his feelings – Idia berates himself much worse than that on a regular basis + expects that everyone hates his guts anyway. But I don’t think it’s impossible to shut him up using only verbal abuse… Lilia might be the one who succeeds at that, actually.

Anonymous asked:

warning, ranting here im so sorry I just need to get it off my chest :(

even if you do not see this that's ok, im a big fan of your art plus headcanons and the fact you also ship my rare pair. but recently my mutuals found out I follow you and like your art and I have troubles talking with them. sometimes they say that im supporting that type of behaviour by interacting and im torn. I am not sure what to do. I personally do not mind your shroudcest, they are fictional and you probably do not support it. sorry for the rant and assumptions. English is not my first language so im sorry if it's hard to understand.

Hi, Anon! I am very happy you like our stuff and I really appreciate that you just ignore the things that you don’t particularly like: I feel very lucky that we have people like you now.

It’s very unfortunate that your friends make you feel bad about following us, I am very sorry to hear that. And I can’t tell you how to deal with your friends, since I don’t know what kind of relationships you have, but I always say it: a friend should be able to see past someone’s interests and be open-minded, and not make you feel horrible for liking certain things that don’t harm anyone. And you don’t even like those things – you just ignore them and like something completely different. How is it supporting me? It doesn’t even affect stuff that we post and draw – I would’ve drawn all that anyway.

If you want to hear it: I don’t support any of the problematic themes that I draw in real life. This is such an obvious thing to me, such a given, such a common sense thing, that it’s honestly very offensive that someone might even consider that this isn’t the case simply because I draw certain stuff. Please note that you are not offending me, Anon, you’ve done nothing wrong and I’m just venting back. People throw assumptions so easily just to harass us or their friends for supporting us, those are such big words and allegations, it’s honestly messed up that this is a norm.

But I digress. I could only suggest you to reflect on your relationship with those people and try to make compromises that make sense for you. It’s easy to say, but try not to let them bully you. Try not to let people who don’t trust you enough to know that you wouldn’t condone stuff like that irl dictate you how you live your life. This is a game that you can’t win: even if you stop supporting me, it’s not a guarantee that you won’t get smacked for something else in the future. I don’t know your friends. But a lot of people experienced that. It’s mentally challenging trying to walk on eggshells all the time, especially because of something that’s not even true, so take care of yourself.

Thank you once again for your message. I hope things get better.

Anonymous asked:

I hope this doesn't come off creepy but as someone who creates art and fic of an incesty oc!shroud x Idia ship. It makes me happy to see you supporting and creating weird unhinged stuff. For now I live vicariously through you and maybe one day I'll be bold enough to post the newer sketches I have for my story.

Thank you for your message, Anon! I am super happy that our stuff gives you some comfort and confidence to create things that you care about; it means a lot to hear that.

Also! Kudos to you for creating an incest Oc!Shroud x Idia ship hehe ^w^

[aesopsbaby]

Hello! Hope you are well! Your art is so pretty! You did a amazing job on making them. If its okay could I do the TR match up, please?

I'm pretty quiet and like to be alone. When in theaters, at parties or in malls Im more alert and avoid crowed areas. If I have to rest at all or find a seat, I would like one to closest exit.

Been raised as a tomboy, got into fights growing up. My mom wasnt too happy, but my dad was proud that I stood up to a bully. Was still grounded.

I like video games, cats, dogs, study lots of things. Im not saying, most of it is dark. My sense of humor is very dark and twisted. Do not show it as it offends or scares people.

Not unless I want to scare them away. Then I try to the old 'How can you prove you killed someone if everything was made out of candy?' Or 'Sidewalks are just extra lanes.'

Don't like parties, crowded areas in closed places, or anyone I care about being picked on.

Hispanic and 5'0" so yeah shorter than Mikey. I weigh about 98 pounds. Always been small, dont mind it. I use it to fit in tight spaces. Body is pretty flexible.

A guy that can reach the third or top shelf of the cupboard also open jars.

My health is pretty bad. I can be up and around for about 3 hours before I need to rest. Like take a nap rest. I try to tough things out and just say 'I'm fine.' When really, I'm sick and very tired.

There is no cure or really any treatment. There is just so much wrong with my body. Often have to take naps.

Romance pls! Thats all. Take all the time you need and hope I did this right!

I'm finally posting these after procrastinating for way too long :,) sorry for the extremely long wait!! I made sure yours is detailed to compensate for the long wait♡

And AAAAAAA TYSM!! I'm really happy that you think my art is pretty <,3

Ran / Kokonoi!

Both are tall and would help you to get stuff that's out of reach! Kokonoi would do it with little to no teasing but Ran,,,that little shit would tease you for the longest time before giving you the item.

So let's talk about Ran first:

If we're being honest, Ran is the most likely of the two to be putting things at the top shelf just so he can see you glaring at him and asking him to grab the stuff down.

He'd rather stay home with you if that's what you prefer <3 But watch out, he's insufferable, can and will whine for your attention just because he thinks it's funny.

DARK HUMOUR!!! Soulmates fr. You both will be cracking dark jokes and laughing your ass off.

Kokonoi now:

Upon knowing you dislike being in crowded areas, he'll immediately jot that down in his head! Everytime you both go out to somewhere that you want to go, you'll realised the place is empty and when you ask him about it, he'll smirk and shrug;

"I bought the place for a day so you can take your time." Kokonoi would do just about anything for you!!!

Going out on dinner dates to the fanciest places and he booked a nice view and a huge area that has no guests so you can be comfortable <3

-

Both of them would care about your health and try their best to help you. ( "Try" because they both are internally panicking since they have zero idea what to do-)

They admire your tough mentality and how independent you are, but they care deeply about you.

Ran would hold you close to him and hum softly while playing with your hair so you can rest peacefully.

Kokonoi reminds you to take breaks so you don't overwork yourself.

[goobtopia]

the plus size reader blurb you wrote was useless. ‘cute little ass’ talking about a plus sized reader and at online did you mention that the reader was plus sized. really POOR work from you icl.

okay yeah i am so sorry i didn’t feel great abt posting it either and i changed the line cuz that was literally so grossly misplaced i should not have posted that without realizing how that sounded?? i was going for ‘little’ in a way that was adjacent to ‘tight’ but that’s so totally on me for not taking that out before i posted it.

im trying not to ramble ah but i spent some time reading plus sized fics to see what else i did wrong and in most other fics i found the fact the reader is plus sized is only mentioned if the plot revolved around them being plus sized and those fics were all about the reader being insecure in their bodies which i’m not gonna be posting about for many reasons.

im also hesitant to use physical descriptors because those aren’t one size fits all and making any mention of being plus-sized feels hollow to me unless it’s like essential to the plot or something because plus-sized people’s existence doesn’t revolve around their body type. it felt weirder to me to try and write something super specific because i can’t pretend i understand the experience and everyone is different so the more specific i get the more i alienate people who i’m trying to include. it also did not feel right mentioning it anywhere because the request/plot didn’t call for the reader’s size to be mentioned, just that the reader was that size.

of course, as u pointed out, i most definitely failed at trying to write neutral bodies in my recent blurb i absolutely should have been more careful and thoughtful. i take full responsibility and blame for that cuz that’s on me, and ur so right anon that was very poor work on my part. i will be reading more and educating myself to see where i can do better to be inclusive without being completely neutral as to be more inclusive in my writing and be way more careful checking my works from now on so i don’t make a mistake like this again and offend anyone because i truly want anyone and everyone to be able to enjoy what i write.

again i am deeply sorry if you were affected by my last post, while i can assure that being negative about any body type was not my intent nor is that reflective of my own feelings, my impact was just that and that is my fault and i am so sorry if you or anyone else was hurt by my words. thank you for the criticism anon.

[snowddeong]

sorry im new to itzy. whats the mitm discoursce?

Got to this a bit late cause I was on a shitty road trip but in case you still wanna know what goes on from my perspective and my opinions then lemme try and just lay out facts first before being annoyed about the situation hadh

mitm released and a lot of kpopies hated it, not surprising tbh mfs will hate itzy for everything. Italian kpopies got mad about the song for "glorifying the mafia" (it doesn't 🙄) and made all these posts and shit but everyone kinda didn't gaf and memed tf out of the whole drama which pissed these italian kpopies off real bad

And also gave us this meme

Then Yeji did this 🤌 and they got pissed off even more about how she was "mocking italian culture" (she wasn't 🙄). Since then it's been an off and off discourse where these mfs compare mitm to cultural appropriation and racism then refuse to engage in good faith discussions because they know they're being offensive in drawing those comparisons but want excuses to throw around slurs. The most annoying part is a lot of other italians, even white ones, see this for what it is and call that shit out then mfs go "well yeah but still!"

It shouldn't be surprising how I feel about this but I find the whole thing to just be another case of white people trying to feel oppressed about something that realistically is not worth all this discourse. Anti-italian hate is a thing that actually exists and loads of italians have gone through awful dehumanisation cause of it but like... this is not that...

Mafia is a colloquial term. Every country has a mafia 😭 it has evolved to mean "crime organisation" despite there being a lot of baggage around the word cause of western culture. Mitm is a song about the mafia game with a twist to make it cool. That is all 😭😭😭 mitm is not glamourising anything it's literally about a fucking game that every fucking soul in SK has played at least once including a lot of the faves of the mfs pretending to be mad about this situation.

Ofc there's a discussion to be had about how the media potrays the italians and the mafia, but MITM is not at fault for any of that nor is it even an example of the glorification or perpetuation of this shit.

And EVEN IF IT WAS, white people going around telling poc and other marginalised folk that if they're not allowed to be mad about this then why are we mad about cultural appropriation and people that make jokes about racist violence and shootings in the us is so many levels of fucked up. You're allowed to be offended by mitm ig even if the justification is shit like be mad if you want, but someone doing a hand gesture does not cause the same harm as those other things and it's vile that people wanna be oppressed so bad they'll oppress others to get there and not see why that is wrong lmao.

ALSO last thing Yeji did that in reference to Vincenzo, not to mock anyone. Idk if the show is inappropriate it's very possible that it was cause iirc it's a mafia drama modeled after that caricature of "the italian mafia" but in that case the issue is not really Yeji trying to mock italians it's the fact that there's no education about what's appropriate and what's not lmao. Iirc Vincenzo didn't see any outrage (though I'm open to being fact checked on that Irdk) so it's wild to me that itzy got all this blow back but no one said a fucking thing about that show. Wild, not surprising, cause people will hate itzy for everything lmao

[0-cal-princess]

I think my friend is cutting me off cuz she found out about my eating this order so I'm gonna complain and moan about it 🍓

So basically you wanna cut me off after nearly 4 years of friendship because I got a little too silly and developed an ed??? Even after everything we been thru together??? Girl what the fuck. I never fucking judged you for the dumb ass shit you do even when I knew you were 100% in the wrong. You have no fucking right getting on your high horse calling me sick, saying I need help and that I'm doing something wrong when you partake in equally self-destructive behaviors, what the fuck??? I literally was there for you when your life was falling apart (which was 100% preventable if you just stayed put and did things the right way like i fucking told you but oh well), drying your tears and holding your hand because i love you and i care for you no matter what you did so it really fucking hurts me to see you ghosting and avoiding, and treating me all dry. I understand it was my fault for being honest and transparent with you about my issues but you're literally my best friend??? Like i've never opened up to anyone like I have with you, that's why i felt comfortable telling you about my bulim1a. i never expected you to react the way you're reacting and it honestly really fucking hurts my feelings. Ik you're going thru a lot but if you dont like me anymore you can just use your big girl voice and fucking say it to my face instead of ghosting me and treating me badly. we are fucking adults so why dont you act like one???? I never fucking offended you, or body shamed you, or said anything about your weight so why are you telling ME im losing too fast and obsessing over it??? you could have just kept your mouth shut and let it go like I do every time you talk to me about some dumb ass shit you do. anyways your fucking loss i guess, thanks for being my friend and im sorry we broke it off this way i hope nothing but the best for you and i really hope you work on your issues, i will strive to do the same

my friend confronted me about my ed and then ghosted me after telling her it wasn't that deep. I feel like a fool for spamming her phone trying to get a response out of her. ig i'll wait another day then i will text her the classic "did i do something wrong :(" typa shit. i just wanted to vent cuz i cant get it out of my head. it bothers me so fucking much like sis what the fuck since when are you the moral authority??? but anyways

I broke my purge-free streak yesterday and it wasn't fun. I couldn't even purge it all cuz it got to the point where i gave myself a horrible headache so i just let it be. I think i will go over my cal limit today as well so yay aint it fun?? I feel like somebody beat the shit out of me, i still have a pounding headache, my chest feels like somebody punched the shit out of it, i have no energy and my throat is fucked. Im also very dumb so i weighed myself and got spooked so I took some laxs as if my life is not miserable enough yaay for me. Never purging again in my fucking life (that's a lie). anyways thanks if you read it all, stay skinny ladies <3