#IM SORRY FOR MAKING JOKES THAT YOU LOOKED LIKE A MILITARY WIFE

[exoscreamsoda]

"i miss jonginnie" 🥺

[incorrect-riordanverse]

Riordanverse Characters as quotes by people i know have said

dedicated to @lord-of-pterodactyls, i know you asked for friends in particular but i’m broadening it as even people i consider my nemeses (old ass philosophy teacher) are funny

Percy: i truly feel as if nothing will ever incapsulate my being as truly as the singing monsters water wubbox

Annabeth: *screaming from adjoining room* GET LOST APPLE MUSIC PRIVACY

Piper: *in bikini* i don’t like people with big boobs

Jason: *trying to compliment piper* your hair looks like dementia

Leo: *emerging from the stinky depths of his room after being in there for 16 hours straight and no showers with clothes from 5 days ago, red scabs all over his body and lips so dry it looks like a snake shedding its old skin by how crusty it is* guys on a scale from 1 to 10 how sexy do i look rn?

Hazel: *yeets her foot out and jiggles her toes menacingly at people she dislikes as an intimidation tactic because her toes are particularly hideous*

Frank: *after literally being targeted by a racial ‘joke’* worse than that, you white people eat spam

Grover: *pats air purifier* a good trusted friend

Nico: *drifts into hazel’s room* bro i ain’t even gonna lie, the holidays are better than the black plague *leaves room before she can question him further*

Reyna: *sleeptalking* stallion le meghan

Rachel: *pretending her coloured markers are vapes*

Thalia: *pointing at luke* my bro be the victim and the perpetrator

Tyson: *when talking about doing math* all i have are my fingers and a dream

Clarisse: *sees a sick person in bed* you’re looking pretty vulnerable *proceeds to ransack their room and steal their sheets like some gremlin*

Octavian: i am THE riddler *speaks in riddler voice and puts on devious little expression* what is... a curtain?

Will: *sees a dying person and looks pointedly at nico* and thats because they didnt take their cenovis vitamin c

Luke: i am constantly one snap away from either committing homicide or suicide

Apollo: *feeling face after new skincare routine* gosh my face feels as soft as a silicone tit

Meg: *pointing at apollo after redemption arc* YOU WON’T GO TO HEAVEN BECAUSE YOU ARE A COMMUNIST!

Magnus: *eating falafel* this is an orgasmic experience

Samirah: *substituting random words in english for arabic and not realising no one understands what she’s saying*

Alex: *laughing at the death threats she gets online after posting a meme about BTS in the military*

Blitz: *does something naughty* omg sorry im such a libra（＾ν＾）

Hearth: *walks into room* god is dead.

Carter: *walking into sadie’s room visibly upset with a box of cadbury favourites* here take them. if you don’t im going to eat them all. please, dont make me do this

Sadie: take a shit and be late to school or dont take the shit and be on time hell loop

Zia: my top artist on spotify this year will be xi jinping’s wife

Walt: *simply, appreciatively and completely without context* yeah, buddha is a pretty amazing guy

Anubis: i dislike being emo because i can only go as death note characters for halloween

Bast: *absolutely entranced by watching love island uk and is just repeating everything any person says back in a treacherous essex accent*

Bes: *walking into classroom full of young teens with an oversized ‘free james assange’ shirt* today i am a nice, trendy leftist. tomorrow, who knows?

[offbranddrpepsi]

Do you think any agents have tattoos (other than reyna, and brimstone who I think we've both seen to have tats)? Where? I'm my mind I can't decide if sova would have tattoos or not -sparkle

Ps. I made that side blog and am working on a piece to post there that's inspired by one of your posts, should I @ you or nah?

If you wanna @ me thats fine but also you absolutely don't have too! If you just tag it with the valorant tag i will probably find it anyways but if you do @ me i'll reblog it here! I actually think a fair amount of the agents have tattoos with most being smaller end or hidden under their clothes so below are the break downs of what tattoos i think everyone has!

Brim: i think he has to have the day his best friend died tattooed somewhere on his body as well as maybe a memento tattoo somewhere, that may be what the tattoo on his upper arm is since i don't believe we have seen it

Reyna: ontop of what she has i think she has her sisters name somewhere along with her sisters favorite flower/a flower she associates with her sister. I also think her tattoos she has are somewhat based around marks that appeared on her when she used her powers so she got tattoos over them to make it look more pleasing

Breach: He HAS to have something Norse on his body or something celtic just SOMETHING

Raze: probably has something really nerdy related to explosions as well as some dumb tattoos she got as bets that are just half ass jokes or memes

Cypher: Probably has several meaningful phrases in arabic tattooed on his body, he comes off as someone that has all his tattoos hidden OR has a noticeable one that is now hidden due to his clothes. I fully expect him to have his wifes name and childs name as well as their wedding and birthdates. I also imagine he has the all seeing eye tattooed somewhere on his body or some sort of eye tattoo. He also may have prayers on his body.

Chamber: He has his tour de force tattoos which i semi count because we don't know about the application process but we do know its his two guns. He was in the military and military guys typically get tattoos because fuck it why not so i imagine he may have some tattoo in french thats a really small phrase just hidden probably on his rib cage or leg that he thinks is now stupid/tacky he may even have one of those basic white girl ankle tattoos if you know what those are

Fade: i THINK fades paw print on her shoulder is a tattoo if not a scar from her powers or something like that. I also think she probably has some tattoos mimicking the henna on her hands as well as maybe an evil eye back piece that goes across her entire back

Killjoy: Very simple video game/league of legends tattoo maybe on her wrist/arm. doesnt have many if she has any

Phoenix: boy has a crown somewhere or a phoenix on him, maybe a pair of angel wings on his back stylized to match his fire

Jett: Similar to Raze i think she has a few dumb tattoos/memey ones that she got as bets. I think she my also have a really small but detailed flower tattoo matching her theme/color palette

Sova: I think sova has to have either a variety of nature tattoos probably referenced from photos hes taken OR some really intricate owl tattoo or archer tattoo, there is an owl and an arrow SOME WHERE on this mans body

Omen and Kay/o: they do not have flesh im sorry but i feel Kay/o would have similar tattoos to brim if he could while Omen would probably have VERY elaborate but dark themed tattoos in grey scale

Sage: she probably has a very dorky heart on her ankle as well as some symbolic tattoos relating to her time spent mastering her powers. I think if she ever lost one of the agents she would also get a tattoo to represent them

Viper: This bitch has a snake some where but a very small stylized snake. I think she may also have the names of people shes failed to save somewhere or worked into a bigger piece so she always carries a reminder of them. As a teen i think she got a dorky science tattoo she hides/got removed

Yoru: this mother fucker probably is covered at least on his back/chest. Variety of familial, cultural, and just some of his interests. A lot of his work does fit his family/cultural background and i feel he may also have cherry blossoms woven through out his tattoos.

Neon: i don't think neon has any tattoos mainly because shes anxious about getting them as well as how her powers may affect them. The marks on her skin are radiant related so i don't think they are tattoos, if they are artificial i imagine they are dermal implants to help channel/limit her powers or are something that gets stuck onto her skin/put into some sort of implant.

Skye: she is someone else i don't see as having any tattoos. If she does they are probably very simple stick and poke tattoos or ones she got after she joined valorant. Like sage she would get tattoos to remember those she has lost

Astra: Astra would have many space/astrological tattoos on her body but all small ones. Stars here and there, simple planets etc

[aliwritesfic]

The Night Shift Part 4 (F!Reader x Frankie Morales)

Chapter summary: Cute work things (sorry im very hungover and i can't remember what i actually wrote)

Warnings: maybe a bit of second-hand embarrassment, masturbation

W/C: 1.5K

Part 1 Part 5

Monday night, Frankie arrived before you. The day cook, a grizzled old woman named Annette, gave him a toothy grin.

“Evenin’ hotshot,” she said. “You here to make all my dreams come true?”

“Only for a night, darlin’,” Frankie said.

“All you men are the same,” Annette laughed and handed Frankie the spatula. She gave him a to-do list, which was significantly shorter than the one on Friday night had been, bid him goodnight and hightailed it out of there, saying something about dinner with her husband.

Frankie watched the window out of the corner of his eye, waiting for you to arrive. There weren’t many orders up, so he could manage the task of cooking and having his head whip up every time he heard the tinkle of the chimes above the door.

It was almost forty-five minutes after he arrived before you came in, red faced and breathing heavily.

“I’m-I’m so sorry, Riss,” you panted. Marissa shrugged and patted you on the cheek.

“Don’t worry about it, sweet, I had some good company,” she winked at Frankie. “Have a good night, guys, don’t get into too much trouble!”

Frankie watched as you leant over the counter and caught your breath. “Do you want some water?”

You nodded wordlessly, straightening up. Frankie handed you a glass, a shock of electricity surging through him as your fingers briefly touched.

Fuck. He had it bad.

“I had to run here,” you said when you had your breath back. Frankie nodded, waiting for you to continue. “I found a kitten behind a dumpster, all wet and shivering and crying, so I had to take her to the vet.”

“What kind of kitten?” Frankie asked, having a soft spot for cats. He had had one, until he and Portia broke up and she took the cat with her. He didn’t hold it against her: Anthony the Great was technically hers.

“A black one. I’m not good with breeds,” you said.

The conversation was broken up by a pair of old men calling out your name. Your genuine smile was back as you greeted them. Frankie adjusted his cap and smiled to himself.

Occasionally he would glance up at you while he worked, catching the occasional glimpse of your side profile or the back of your head. You seemed a little lighter today, like you weren’t carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. It was nearing 1 in the morning before he decided to attempt a conversation with you.

“So, how was your weekend?” He kept his tone light, nonchalant. You shrugged, pouring him a cup of coffee.

“It was okay, nothing special.” You stirred in the sugar as you spoke, avoiding his gaze. “My boyfriend has his stupid friends over so I spent most of my Sunday cleaning up after them.” Frankie deflated just a bit. Of course you had a boyfriend. Of course. Someone as beautiful as you . . . he’d be more surprised if you were single.

“But uh, I saw Manny on Sunday,” you continued, oblivious to Frankie’s disappointment. “You remember Manny, right? He was the night cook before you, you met him I think.”

“Yeah, I did. Nice guy.”

“Uh, yeah, so I saw Manny for lunch on Sunday and he suggested making a night shift lunch group.” You wiped down menus, deftly avoiding Frankie’s gaze. “And um, well, if you wanted to come this coming Sunday, that’d be cool.”

“You’re inviting me to lunch?” Frankie asked.

“Yeah,” you said, finally looking up at him. You flushed slightly. “If you’re interested, that is. You don’t have to, obviously, but Manny and I thought it would be nice. We could all get to know each other outside of this place. Make friends, you know?”

Frankie smiled, happy at least with the prospect of a friendship with you. “That sounds great. What time?”

“Midday, if you want you can give me your number later and I’ll text you the place?”

“Yeah, absolutely.”

“Oh, and it’s just us three. So don’t invite the weekend crew, or your wife or anything.”

“I’m not married, so no problem there,” Frankie grinned at you. You nodded quickly, turning away before you could see the smile you were trying so desperately to fight off.

~*~

You didn’t know why it excited you so much that Frankie had said yes to Sunday lunch. Maybe it was because he wasn’t married, not that it made a difference.

Still, it gave you a slight thrill that Frankie had said yes.

You worked with a renewed vigor for the rest of the night. You weren’t sure any amount of rude customers or spilled drinks or broken plates that could bring you down. At one point you found yourself humming along to the radio, some song you hadn’t heard in years by an artist you couldn’t place. You knew it would bug you until you figured it out

“You like Prince?” Frankie asked, making you blush furiously at being caught with your guard down.

“I-uh-I-yeah. Yeah a bit,” you said, “actually, I haven’t listened to him in years. But I like a few of his songs.”

Frankie grinned and began to sing along in a terrible falsetto, making you snort with laughter. You danced along, allowing yourself this moment of freeing yourself of any embarrassment. After all, if Frankie was willing to put on the falsetto, it wouldn’t kill you to dance. The entire thing was ridiculous, but you were having a better time than you had had in months.

Frankie ended the song with a kick and a flourish, taking off his cap to bow dramatically.

“Have you ever thought of auditioning for one of those talent shows?” You grinned at him, wiping the sweat off your brow.

“Actually, I’ve won several of them,” Frankie winked, “I just work jobs like this when I’m not on sold out world tours.” You laughed again at his joke, almost shocked at how easy it was to laugh with someone. How freeing it was to dance like a fool and not feel embarrassed or like you were in on the joke and not the butt of it.

The rest of the shift passed quickly, the night peppered with jokes between you and Frankie. At the end of the night, instead of rushing out the door as soon as your relief was there, you waited around a few minutes.

Your phone was mercifully free of messages from Kurt, pushing your mood even higher.

Frankie met you outside by the back door, and looked shocked to see you still there. You held up your phone as a way of explanation. “I still gotta get your number.” You handed your phone to Frankie, already open to the new contact screen. Frankie punched it in quickly and handed it back to you.

“What’s with the emojis?” you asked, squinting at them.

“It’s my nickname, Catfish. My buddies and I all had callsigns in the military and that was mine. Except for Benny. He was just Benny.”

“Catfish,” you repeated. “Well, I’ll see you tonight, Catfish.”

“Yeah, see you tonight.”

~*~

You couldn’t sleep. You were too busy thinking. About him. Frankie. His dark, warm eyes that when you looked into them you felt like you could melt. The way his soft looking curls stuck out under his ever present cap. His smile that felt like safety. His hooked nose that led to lips you could only imagine kissing. His hands. You felt yourself warm as you imagined what you wanted his hands to do to you. You let yourself imagine what the rest of his body might look like.

Before you could overthink it and stop yourself, your fingers slipped between your folds and began to rub. You were wetter than you could remember yourself being. You moaned softly as you thought about him doing things to you that you didn’t even realise you wanted. Within minutes you were to your climax, legs stiffening and back arching. Sweat dotted your brow and your heart slammed into your ribcage. You hadn’t orgasmed in almost a year, always too exhausted to masturbate, and it wasn’t like Kurt gave a shit about you finishing when he fucked you.

The thought of Kurt immediately turned you sour. The burning feeling of betrayal knotted itself in your stomach. Kurt didn’t even let you have a vibrator. He had huffed and become scornful when you tentatively brought up the subject a few years back. He didn’t want anyone or anything but him to make you cum. It was a man's job to keep his woman satisfied, even if he struggled with the whole keeping you satisfied part.. You knew Kurt would practically have an aneurysm if he knew you were touching yourself to the thought of another man. But the thought of Frankie touching you gave you a thrill you hadn’t felt in years. You couldn’t bring yourself to feel truly guilty for it. Surely that was some kind of sign.

Eventually, you fell asleep a few hours before your alarm was supposed to go off. Normally, you dreamt of being in your own private space station, as far away from the apartment as possible. That night, you dreamt of Frankie.

Taglist: @hnt-escape @sharkbait77 let me know if you'd like to be added <3

[jean----ralphio]

IT’S BoB LIVEBLOG TIME

Episode 1 is under the cut!

Warning, I swear a lot... and am very in love with RSJ so a lot of this was just me pointing at the screen and screaming RICH and then remembering you can’t see me so writing it down...

Episode 1: Curahee! Curaahhee? Curraahhee? I can’t spell so I’m renaming it Ross is a punk bitch

Buckle up my babies, this will be a carcrash!

00:01 Here we fucking go aw yis

00:11 Aw who’s this? I wish they named the gentlemen at the start of the episodes, I wanna know who is who :s

00:25 Shifty, is that you my angel son?

00:41 OMG you guys… these men are breaking my heart </3

01:06 Lord, men were committing suicide because they couldn’t go to fight? That mentality… man. Oh my God, you angels. Babies.

01:36 No jokes allowed, every man is <3

01:40 Now that I’m humbled and we’re all well and truly miserable…the credits, ugh, my heart. The score is amaziiiing. Some of the footage is actual war-time footage, I read, which is a brilliant touch.

02:01 DICK <3

02:13 DICK’S HUSBAND <3

02:18 RSJ’S NAAAAAME

02:27 JFC this music makes me so emotional. Look there’s Matthew Settle’s face. That makes me emotional too

02:48 Ah it’s Roe <3

03:48 I’m trying to pick them all out in the line-up but I can’t tell who is who. Are we supposed to be able to? There’s a short one in the middle, is that Harry?

03:49 I’m not drunk enough to handle this

04:10 Upottery? Ah it’s so English I love it. That’s not a name! Wtf is up with English place-names, you guys have the weirdest names. Upottery? Seriously? Is it only potters that live there? I’m so confused

04:22 Close up of Roe! Perfect. I approve.

04:32 Is that the guy from Line of Duty? I think it is

04:39 Lip <3

04:44 Ew. GTFO Cobb. He doesn’t even go here

04:47 IS THAT RICH? RICH. ILY. ILY RICH. Please note that 94% of this will be a Rich-watch

04:53 Lieb stop. I am sure you are not a certified hairdresser

04:56 RICH. SMOKING. SMOKING RICH. More like smoking hot do you see what I did there?

05:20 I can categorically say that I love Joe Toye. I do. I love him. But every time I see Kirk Acevedo, all I think of is Charlie my baby from Fringe (awesome show, please watch it). And I just. Charlieee <3

05:39 Aw. They’re so sad

05:55 They’re so despondent. Guys. It’s fine

06:05 Fassy?? FASSY!!

06:18 God Damien is pretty

06:25 Nix that’s not how you flirt

06:57 Lol at Dick noting its happy hour. Thinking about taking Nix on a date, are we? I bet you are. Now THAT is how you flirt!

07:24 OMG the fucking flirting! GUYS. “And give up all this?” NIX SAYS AS HE CHECKS HIM OUT

07:37 Yeah, Nix, you’ll take him ‘to Chicago’ huh? Is that what they call it nowadays.

07:44 Do you want to be that cigarette? ‘Cos there is nothing heterosexual about that lingering look, Dick

08:18 ‘Murica time

08:25 Ross, fuck off. Nice jacket though. “You PEOPLE are at the position of attention” ugh GTFO. Dick’s sideye tho lol

08:52 NGL Ross does a great job at being super unlikeable

09:05 Noooo you don’t want it with Johnny Martin. You wont win. Yeah, walk away Ross

09:15 Careful around Lip too, or Speirs will materialize out of thin air and snap your neck

09:33 RICH. Don’t be scared of that douchebag, baby

09:43 What kind of question is that, there is nothing Lieb wants more!

09:50 It’s weird hearing Ross swear tho

10:26 Don’t argue with Johnny, baby. Also Roe OMG <3 Shane is freaking fit

10:43 Wow Lip is ripped

10:48 Oh no, poor baby. Lip leave him be ☹ </3

11:10 LOL I just noticed the drum by the door. It says ‘butts’ and it took me a seconds to realise it was for cigarettes. I am an adult (31-year-old married woman). I’ll laugh at the word butts if I want.

11:11 RICH

11:18 Lieb omg lol

11:39 RICH BABY NO! FUCK OFF ROSS! LEAVE HIM ALONE OR I WILL HAVE SPEIRS CUT YOU

11:52 I can’t take Ross seriously in those shorts. Hi-ho GTFO

12:07 Ew fuck off running up that, I’d just nope out like nah babe imma go chill with that sweet baby back in the butts cabin

12:18 Aw Dick <3 The juxtaposition of Dick as a leader compared to Sobel who sure he might be honing them into something formidable and skilled but he’s an asshole. He’s not a leader. He’s a bullying, abusive scumbag. Dick is an actual leader who protects them and supports them and encourages them and IHAVEALOTOFFEELINGSOK

12:43 You don’t deserve that sick jacket, Ross. Seriously. That is a boss jacket, I want it

13:04 Have they not stopped fucking working out all this time? Ugh

13:23 Oh good, Dick gets a boss jacket too. He deserves it.

13:30 I wish people had to ask me for permission to speak.

13:53 I just. He. I can’t with Dick Winters, you guys. I cannot. I have lost the ability to can. Like they’re so upset and tired and low and just with that little joke he boosts their morale back up from where Sobel fucking beat it down into the mud and makes everything lighter and they laugh and are less tense and I just. Fucking love you, Dick.

14:00 Is that my angel son? I see you Shifty, love you baby

14:03 RICH. DON’T TOUCH MY RICH.

14:07 Oh my God, address them yourself you weirdo, Ross. They’re right there, you’re right there! I had a colleague that used to do the same, would get me to speak to my employees for her when they were right there in front of her like… ‘can you tell x to do y for me pls…’ … I was like wtf you know you CAN talk to them… you won’t catch poor just by speaking to people lower down the pecking order

14:22 Fassy! Wtf they’re not supposed to drink? Dehydration is legit one of the most dangerous things, how tf can you turn them into high-key supersoldiers if they’re dehydrated? How is this man so dumb? The guy in front of Fassy tho omg. I bet Fassy’s boss wife Alicia Vikander won’t like her husband being treated that way… she’s so badass tho right?

14:26 He’s so dramatic! Ugh

15:11 Piss off omg

15:24 oh my DVD flipped its shit here, only picked back up at 16:30 don’t @ me

16:52 RICH WHAT ARE THEY DOING TO YOU RICH

17:21 Shifty my angel son

17:46 so sweet

18:04 Sink, babe, no he is the worst, stop

18:20 LOL no, he’s jel as fuck babe

18:32 NO FUN ALLOWED. Im sorry, that tie is so ugly

18:44 Simon Pegg??!!

18:51 Ross is so dramatic God shut up. it’s not a conspiracy, weirdo

19:10 “It’s a can of peaces, sir.” Iconic.

19:11 Dick’s tiny smile is equally iconic.

19:17 SHUT UP ROSS

19:44 He wants to be punched, I think, like he’s goading them. The sick fuck.

20:47 DON’T TRUST HIM, DICK!

21:02 ROE <3

21:31 Hoobler, aw <3

21:37 I warned you not to trust him, boys

21:54 Ah boys, oh no

22:04 RICH. Kick him, baby

22:17 Bull, punch him, seriously

22:24 Oh Luz <3

22:26 Yeah GTFO, suck it, bitch

23:06 Who is this? Fella’s hot

23:40 RICH. FASSY. WEB. TAB.

24:19 Suck it, Ross

24:30 Real footage?

24:41 Lol you suck Ross

25:23 RICH. SMOKING RICH.

25:26 Bill omg

25:45 Perco, baby, no. don’t talk to Johnny Martin. Don’t look at Johnny Martin. Don’t so much as think about Johnny Martin. He will fuck you up with his gaze alone, baby

25:56 Ah Luz

26:06 OK. That’s hot. Joe/Charlie don’t be hot. It confuses me

26:42 Winnix being husbands in the corner

27:42 YOU’RE in the wrong position, dumbass, it’s no one else’s fault

27:46 Dick’s come to save the day

27:56 Ross knows nothing omg

28:05 RICH. Even my Rich is confused, Ross, you dweeb

28:20 Lol at Dick dropping down ready for a fight

28:36 Fassy isn’t happy. That means Alicia Vikander is coming for you. Joe/Charlie is definitely not happy. Lip is upset. Think about your life, Ross, think about your choices. You know you’ve failed when Roe is judging you

28:57 Nix is like lol where tf is the alcohol tho

28:59 Harry! Harry is here! But yes, baby, you’re interrupting the husband’s foreplay, leave immediately

30:00 Lol at the Nix vs Ross staredown. Nix won

30:17 RICH. GUYS IT’S RICH

30:33 Do it, Lieb. Drop the grenade. Just don’t upset my angel son Shifty

30:40 He is a literal angel. Don’t corrupt him Lieb

30:59 Nix is having another crack at flirting. “Going my way” so suave omg. Omg stop. No wait don’t

31:09 “I’m not the intelligence officer.” Neither is Nix half the time babe let’s be fair

31:14 “If I told you I’d have to kill you.” Nix is getting better at flirting! He’s been attending flirting 101 classes it seems

31:40 They’re legit such husbands prove me wrong

32:00 He’s not joking, Dick

32:06 Harry’s like oh yay yes please

32:11 Lol Nix

33:03 Ugh. Men. I feel like that hold smells so bad.

33:09 RICH. Naw, Rich is sad he’s missing out on the flamingos.

33:32 Joe/Charlie you deserve a day to commemorate you tbh. I love you.

33:46 “My brother’s in North Africa, he says it’s hot.” Bill is iconic.

34:34 Lieb, honey, don’t, please

34:49 I feel you, random hot guy. Tipper?

35:05 Eyyy this place is nice, let’s all move there.

35:17 Shifty, my angel son, my baby <3

35:26 Yay, Harry gets a boss jacket too!

36:22 Mum and Dad of Easy. I’m low-key living for Lip’s little worried faces.

36:33 THAT JACKET IS SICK AS FUCK I WANT 20

36:38 The fence is there, Ross, because you’re so fucking dumb

36:51 Guys, look, cows

37:06 He’s fucking useless. Hi Simon Pegg.

37:22 RICH

37:25 This whole scene gives me life and waters my crop

37:31 RICH <3. YOU GUYS. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. RICH RICH RICCCCHHHH

37:42 Poor Tip is so done

37:58 Simon Pegg is so confused

38:04 Good job, Tipper, I’m proud of you and your pretty face

38:10 Iconic

38:15 Keep it together Tip

38:54 The hand signals, no, I’d be like BABY. WHAT. I CAN’T UNDERSTAND YOU WTF. I’d last like a millisecond in the military lmao. Does my country even have one? Tbh probably not. Us Kiwis are too chill, cbf’ed with anything. Too busy watching rugby, drinking, and sulking that we can’t afford houses cos our housing market is fucked. But at least we beat Covid *shrugs*

39:06 ILY, old guy. You are the best thing in this episode, aside from Rich

39:22 But wait, there’s more weird Americans hopping out yo’ bushes

39:26 “Bloody hell!” Mood

39:47 “You’ve done it now, yanks, you’ve captured me!” He is such a mood. I love him.

39:54 FUCK OFF ROSS. “Would that be the enemy?” “As a matter of fact, yes.” DICK IS SO VALID I LOVE HIM THIS IS ICONIC.

40:25 Be free, moo-cows

40:40 LAMO GET WRECKED

41:00 Guys imma be straight with you. I’m on my third whiskey lmao.

41:10 Simon Pegg, please refrain from being a douchebag. Leave Dick and his husband to flirt in peace.

41:23 I love how Nix is like instantly suspicious. He knows.

41:39 Worried husband

41:45 “Misspelled court-marital.” Iconic

42:14 Ross, why you lying? So threatened and jel that you gotta lie omg.

42:50 God Damien is freaking hot. Guys.

42:57 Punk bitch Ross.

43:22 Dick is so BDE. It’s fucking hot.

43:30 Ross is shooketh tbh. Punk bitch.

43:36 AH! IT IS HIM! THE GUY FROM LINE OF DUTY S5!

43:50 That underbite must have hurt FJH a lot omg so committed.

44:02 Hey Lip <3

44:09 Johnny Martin has absolute BDE

44:22 God they’re willing to be killed just to not follow Ross. Same tbh.

44:57 This whole scene is BDE.

46:00 But Sink has the most BDE let’s be honest

46:44 The respect for Dick. Even after what they just went through. I AM EMOTIONAL.

46:58 He’s so worried like omg what have my troublesome sons done now

47:09 ROSS WHY YOU ALWAYS LYING??

48:09 Weak

48:24 Yeah, fuck off back to ‘Murica

48:34 Legit, can we acknowledge Ross did a great job (the actor). Really really well done, one of the best performances on the series tbh.

49:48 LMAO GET WRECKED PUNK BITCH

50:06 Dick just wanders about a lot on his own, huh?

50:50 What? What? I understand nothing of what the cockney guy is saying.

50:55 Me too, Hoob, the fuck.

51:00 RICH I SAW YOU

52:19 “Never put yourself in a position where you can take from these men.” Don’t omg I can’t, Dick, I’m weak, I can’t deal with these fucking feelings.

52:36 DAFUQ

52:40 OHHHH I get it. Right. Dick, you’re so smart. It’s a little sad they have to do all that just to get some answers and guidance but tbh it’s probably fair? Gotta be top secret so punk bitches like Ross can’t screw things up.

53:30 Hey Nix. Speak French to me any day.

53:48 Unf.

54:08 LMAO Lieb, how many cigarettes do you need!

54:10 NGL I paused here for a little while.

55:05 We could ALL use some brass knuckles, Joe/Charlie. Mood.

55:25 LOL Lieb is so nosy.

56:15 Oh no

57:00 Luz LMAO

57:10 Oh babies

57:13 Bill LMAO that’s not ice cream, yuck it looks like soup

57:28 God. All that effort. Not just logistically but emotionally, mentally, psychologically, to prepare, just to have it put off. Fuck.

57:38 That movie again. Poor boys.

57:47 That’s actually a really smart move, Johnny.

58:41 Oh no. I would lose it completely. Oh Bill </3

59:11 Naw, Dick dawdling around again

59:49 RICH I SEE YOU

1:00:08 AAAHHHH IT’S TOO CONFRONTING DON’T

1:00:48 NOOO I CAN’T aw Bill

1:01:09 Naww

1:01:16 RIIIIICH

1:01:20 It’s like they’re kiddies on a field trip and Dick is the teacher wrangling them lol

1:01:47 Lol their crap is so heavy Dick has to help pull them up. That’s actually really sweet.

1:01:51 I wish I could hold Rich’s hand

1:02:08 Oh God. I can’t. Like he’s helping them up BUT IT’S ALSO HIS WAY OF SAYING GOOD LUCK AND GOODBYE AND HAVING LIKE A MOMENT TO CONNECT WITH EACH OF THEM I CAN’T LIKE THE EYE CONTACT NO DICK STOP

1:02:19 LMAO at them having to shove each other into the plane

1:02:23 That look between him and Roe. Ugh. Like. You two gotta take care of your boys together. Brotp

1:03:22 Can someone explain the block on that guy’s helmet to me?

1:03:55 I’m sad. And scared. This series is so confronting. I’ve watched in annually since I was like 16 and I’m still so nervous for them.

1:05:37 Rich, I see you! I recognized his chin lmao

1:06:16 God, Dick be careful

1:10:00 This show. The feels. Every time.

[lovelyirony]

Hmm Im just drinking some Respect Rhodey Juice tonight and was wondering if you would write smth about his journey/struggles of life and ppl who doubt him (and then eat their words when he looks fabulous and kicks ass)

A lot of people know Tony Stark’s story. They know that he considers Rhodey to be the best person in the world. He was in ROTC training, Tony made fun of him, but they ended up bonding over engineering and some inside joke at MIT.

They don’t know the whole story.

So here it is.

Rhodey grew up in a relatively nice household in Philadelphia. He still considers some aspect of that to be home, no matter if he hasn’t lived there since high school.

He remembers his dad’s low humming on Sunday mornings when he was a kid, the way he smiled at him.

“Hey Jimmy,” he would say quietly. “Wanna surprise mama with breakfast?”

Mama acted surprised every single time, even if every Sunday she got breakfast on a tray. Rhodey would grin brightly up at his mother and clamber into her bed to steal the “extra” piece of bacon.

(His dad cooked three slices, and saved one for his son.)

He remembers that his sister Jeannette was born when he was four years old, and he did not appreciate having a sister.

“You have to be a good role model for her, sugar,” Mama had told him. She was tired from the hospital, and had handed Jeannette to Dad. “She needs a good big brother.”

Rhodey doesn’t get why his mom is so insistent on that, having a good big brother. It isn’t until he’s eight and Mama’s own older brother comes asking for a car or some money for his new business that he understands that Mama had a very different sort of life. One that they don’t talk about.

So he grabs his dollar and walks his sister to the corner store and gets her a popsicle that dribbles down her chin. She got watermelon flavor.

“Thanks Jim,” Jeannette says, grinning. “You’re the best!”

He vows to always be the best for her.

Always.

Including an academic example. He scores excellently on his tests, enough to catch the notice of the private education institution. They send a nice lady to talk to Mama and Dad about the possibility of him learning there instead of his regular school.

They agree. Rhodey doesn’t exactly want to go, but gets that this is an opportunity.

The school is nearly all-white. That’s...weird. They look at him differently, ask weird questions. He keeps his head down, focuses on studying. He doesn’t realize it yet, but these people have never had to worry about their race.

He’s still a good student. He’s in the top ten, and people whisper and say that it’s because he’s black.

He stares them down and asks if they have a problem with the color of skin he has.

They stammer out a no, but he knows. He knows that they think that he’s gotten all sorts of advantages, and some will never believe that his success is merit-based. It’s a bitter pill to swallow, and he comes home angry.

“Be better,” Mama tells him, smoothing her hand over his face. “You know you’re better than what they always say. You just gotta keep going.”

-

It’s around this time that they go to the Franklin Institute.

And it’s there that he gets introduced into flight travel and falls in love.

He wants to know how planes work. He wants to know why they use some materials but not others, how it works.

“You could go into the Air Force,” his dad chuckles one night.

“Are you gonna be a pilot?” Jeannette asks, looking up from her toys. “You’d be a good pilot.”

“Maybe,” he tells them. “Maybe.”

The military is his best bet.

Come high school, he starts training immediately. He’s a good kid, all things considered. He follows orders well, is intuitive to what comes next, and his officer lets other officials know that this kid will be a good guy.

Assuming, of course, that they let Rhodey into a position of power. He wants to be a good pilot, he wants to have a good job that’s kind of safe.

He also needs to figure out college. He knows he needs a college degree, needs something to show that he is who he says he is.

Rhodey gets a full ride to MIT. His dad sighs and looks at him.

“Son, I need to talk to you...”

“I know I can do this,” Rhodey says determinedly. “I know that I can do a college education, I know I can prove others wrong, and--”

“I know that,” his father says. “But really...Boston?”

His mother laughs for a long while, and makes her husband promise to visit their son, even if they do have to voluntarily go to Boston.

When they move him in, they’re greeted with one Tony Stark chasing after a robot who has grabbed a broom and is wreaking havoc in the apartment.

“Hi,” Tony heaves. “Sorry to be meeting you all like this, I sincerely did mean to be presentable. I’m Tony Stark, nice to meet you.”

His parents are scared of Tony, all things considered. He’s a kid with too much influence on the world. If he says one wrong thing...Rhodey’s finished.

Rhodey holds no such fear because Tony is standing in mismatched socks and chasing after a robot.

When his parents leave and his teenage sister actually gives him a hug, he’s left in the room.

“You want pizza?” Tony asks, blinking. “I’m ordering a pizza.”

They sit together and eat pizza that has too much grease on it, and Tony asks all about Philadelphia. He’s never traveled there, and wants to know if people really do run up the stairs like in the movie Rocky.

Rhodey answers yes, unfortunately, a lot of tourists do that.  Tony laughs.

He talks about New York, everything that people get wrong or right about it.

Then they decide to compare class schedules, and it turns out they have a lot of the same classes.

Rhodey likes being friends with Tony. He’s an easy guy to fall into friendship with. He’s not expecting anything from him, just that he likes some food and tells Tony to knock it off if he’s being annoying.

ROTC training is still going well. Tony makes fun of the uniform and teases him, but also helps make sure his pants are ironed in time.

“I swear to god if I told anyone you were an Iron-kinda-Man, they wouldn’t believe me,” Rhodey teases him. “Thanks.”

He presses a kiss to Tony’s forehead before he rushes out.

-

The Air Force loves him. He’s in aerodynamic engineering, getting the best grades in the class, and has proven time and time again to be a natural-born leader. His very presence commands attention, and the guys around him respect him quite well.

He’s offered a position after graduation to become a pilot.

He’s flying high.

-

His parents, of course, are proud. They host a party with all their friends and family, and Rhodey truly feels like this is it.

Of course, it’s not easy. Nothing ever is. He has to command men and women, go against what others say. He was one of the first in his unit to advocate for women to be part of the team.

“They’re too emotional,” Kennick had remarked.

“And just who nearly cried because their football team didn’t make it to the Superbowl?” Rhodey asks him. “Because it sure as hell wasn’t your wife or daughter, Kennick.”

The rest of the team howls in laughter, and Rhodey smiles to himself.

Tony is still his best friend. They call each other often, although Tony is busier with the company now. Rhodey acts as a sort of liaison for the negotiations between SI and the military.

Tony sends him care packages that host a wild variety of things, ranging from quite the bottle of Scotch to four different McDonald’s Happy Meal Toys.

“Why the toys?”

“Kids keep leaving them in the SI building after their school tour. I have to do something with them.”

(Rhodey takes pictures of them around the base and nearly compromises a secret mission.

It’s worth it.)

But Rhodey’s life is good. It has its ups and downs, but he got what he wanted. And when he sees the other kids from his school who looked at him weird, the teachers who told him to “aim a bit lower” than his goals, he smiles.

He especially likes to smile to himself when he wakes up next to Tony, who smiles at him like he has all the stars in the world.

[knives-out20]

Inglourious Boyfriends - Part 5

Fandom: Inglourious Basterds (2009)

Pairing: Joshua Margolis (OC) x Lt. Aldo Raine

Word Count: 2272

Warnings: Spoilers For Inglourious Basterds,

Note: Part 5, Lads. Shows How Joshua Is Clever, Meaning He Can Catch Onto Other Peoples’ Ideas Quickly. He’s Also Empathetic, And Is Able To Sway Aldo To Do, Or Stop Doing, Something.

Bridget Von Hammersmark groaned in pain as the needle injected its fluids into her body, fist covering her mouth in a failed attempt to muffle herself.

Aldo walked in, sleeves rolled up to his biceps."Not so goddamn fast, doc. Tell 'im to go play with his dog" he spoke, Donny and Joshua following him inside. Aldo pat the doctor as Hammersmark spoke to him in French, the doctor quickly dropping his equipment and going to sit by PFC Utivich. Aldo turned to Joshua, gently nudging him back to give himself room. He put his hands on the doctors equipment table, wasting no time and pushing it aside harshly, crashing it into the wall. Aldo angrily kicked the small stool the doctor sat on, Joshua taking another step back in fright. 

Donny stood menacingly over Bridget on one side of the table, his back to the barking dogs, as Aldo leaned his arm onto the table, his other hand on his hip.

"Before we yank that slug out ya, you need t'answer a few questions" Aldo said.

"Few questions about what?" She asked, gaze going from Aldo, to Donny, to Joshua.

"About I got three men dead back there. Why don't you try tellin' us what the fuck happened?" Aldo asked.

"The British officer blew his German act and the Gestapo major saw it" Bridget answered.

"Before we get into who shot John, why'd you invite my men to a rendezvous in a basement with a bunch of Nazis?" Aldo inquired, tilting his head.

Bridget shifted uncomfortably."I can see see since you didn't see what happened inside, that the Nazis being there must look odd".

"Uh, y-yea, we got a word for that kind of odd in English. It's called suspicious" Joshua piped up, hands behind his back as he stood at attention. He looked away when Aldo pressed the bullet deeper into Bridget's wound, having her moan in pain, louder than before."Aldo-".

"I know what I'm doin' Josh" Aldo held up his other hand, taking this as an excuse to look at his dearest.

"Everybody needs to calm down, you're letting your imagination get the better of you" Bridget strained, exclaiming again when Aldo pushed the bullet in deeper.

Joshua crossed his arms, shutting his eyes and turning his head away as if a lack of sight would dim down his hearing, too.

"You met the sergeant yourself. Willie. You remember him, don't you?" Bridget struggled, gripping the side of the table.

"Yea, I remember him" Aldo scoffed, taking a glimpse of Joshua's physical empathy. He also remembered how gentle Josh was, with treating the scar on Aldo's neck after the attempted lynching, back when Joshua and him fought the KKK one time. Aldo loves how Joshua's always been there to tend to his wounds, which have ranged from scratches on his knees after playing in parks when they were kids, to digging bullets out from his shoulder in more recent years. He inhaled slowly, exhaling at the same speed when he listened to Bridget.

"His wife had a baby, tonight. He had just become a fa-" Bridget squeezed her eyes shut, "he had just become a father!".

Joshua, from time to time, liked to imagine someone saying that about him, 'he had just become a father'. A soft smile graced his lips, in the worst moment possible. He always smiled, each time he thought about himself being a father. The idea of Aldo and him taking in a kid as their own, a little boy or girl the two of them could train to kick Nazi ass and fend for themselves. Joshua opened his eyes, catching Aldo looking right at him. He saw a knowing look in Aldo's eyes, automatically knowing that Aldo knew what he was thinking of.

Aldo hummed, turning his attention back to Bridget. 

"His commanding officer gave him and his mates the night off to celebrate" Bridget shakily breathed, groaning again."The Germans being there was either a trap set by me, or a tragic coincidence. It couldn't be both" she pleaded.

"Aldo..." Joshua called, in a tone that meant for Aldo to leave Bridget alone.

Aldo glanced at Joshua, looking back to Bridget with an arched brow before finally pulling his finger out. He took the handkerchief Joshua offered him, wiping his finger of blood as Bridget grunted."How'd the shootin' start?" He asked, glaring at all his Basterds, so that no one would take this as an opportunity to crack a joke about how Joshua's tamed Aldo the fucking Apache (a joke they make quite a lot).

"The Englishman gave himself away" she started.

"How'd he do that?" Aldo pressed, squaring his shoulders as the light hit him in a threatening way.

"He ordered three glasses" Bridget croaked, holding up three fingers in a way where her pinkie and thumb touched."We order three glasses" she clarified, holding up her thumb, pointer finger and middle finger."That's the German three, the other looks odd".

"So, uhm, t-that whole standoff happened 'cause he held up three fingers in a weird way t'order three drinks?" Joshua scoffed.

"It's much more serious than you think, especially nowadays” Bridget huffed."The Germans would, and did notice".

Aldo looked off in thought, pushing himself off the table."Okay, let's pretend there were no Germans, and everything went exactly the way it was supposed to" he imagined, going to lean against the doorway by Joshua."What was the next step?".

“Tuxedos." Bridget went to the point, suspiciously eyeing how close Aldo stood with Joshua."To get them into the premiere wearing military uniforms with all the military there would've been suicide".

Joshua pulled a quick sturgeon face in agreement.

"But, going as members of the...German film industry-".

"They wear tuxedos a-and- and fit in with everybody else!" Joshua cut Bridget off in conclusion, snapping his fingers."Eureka-- oh, uh, s-sorry, ma'am" he apologized, stepping closer to Aldo.

"No, it's fine, you're right" Bridget breathed heavily, catching Aldo smile down at Joshua with a certain air of adoration."I arranged for a tailor to fit three tuxedos tonight" she recalled.

"How'd you intend to get 'em in that premiere?" Aldo questioned, turning back to Von Hammersmark with a less positive gaze.

"Hand me my purse" Bridget instructed, Hirschberg obeying as Aldo walked back over. She dug inside her purse, everyone watching intently as she handed it to Aldo, who fished out a small card of paper."Lieutenant Hicox was going as my escort. The other two were going as a German cameraman and as his assistant".

Aldo inspected the paper, showing it off to Donny, then Joshua."You can still get us into that premiere?" He asked.

"You speak German better than your friends? No. Have I been shot? Yes! I don't see me tripping the light fantastique up a red carpet anytime soon. Least of all, by tomorrow night" Bridget groaned.

"Uh, a-actually, miss" Joshua respectfully cut in, pushing himself off the wall and walking over."I don't mean t'brag in front of my fellow Lieutenant," he glanced to Aldo, "nor my fellow soldiers, but I happen to be fluent in many languages other than English. French, German, Dutch, 'n' the list goes on" Joshua timidly listed, rubbing his left arm with his right hand."If you still wish for us to cover as German, I could do most o'the talking".

Bridget offered Joshua a fake smile, nodding curtly.

The dogs started barking as Aldo clattered something aside on a table, leaning against it as he kept his eyes on the paper. Finally, he slammed the paper down onto the table in defeat, hand on his hip.

"However, there's something you don't know" Bridget teased, Aldo slowly turning to face her, at that. She grinned, "there've been two recent developments regarding Operation Kino. One, the venue has been changed from The Ritz to a much smaller venue".

Joshua's lips parted, eyebrows knitting together in confusion as he glanced up. He caught Utivich's and Donny's gaze, the three of them exchanging glances of disbelief with each other."Uh, e-enormous changes at the last minute? That's not very Germatic" Joshua pointed out, as he went back to leaning against the wall by the door. 

"Why the hell is Goebbels doing stuff so damn peculiar?" Aldo asked, turning to fully face Bridget.

"It, uhm, it- it probably has something to do with the second development-?" Joshua suggested, a more friendly nod of correction coming from Bridget.

"Which is?".

Bridget sat up."De Führer is attending the premiere" she let out, Joshua's breath hitching.

"Fuck a duck!" Donny cursed, hitting the table Bridget was on.

As the dogs barked, Aldo leaned back against the table, pursing his lips in thought.

"What are you thinking?" Bridget grew curious.

"I'm thinkin’ gettin' a whack at plantin’ old Uncle Adolf makes this horse a different colour" Aldo replied, Joshua nodding along in an understanding manner.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Bridget squinted her eyes in confusion, Aldo turning to Joshua to explain.

"Joshy".

"Yes, uh, yes sir" Joshua nodded, turning to Bridget yet again."It means you gettin' us in that premiere".

"I'm probably going to end up losing this leg" Von Hammersmark hissed, making Joshua flinch in surprise."Bye-bye acting career, fun while it lasted. How do you expect me to walk the red carpet?" She inquired, glaring daggers at Joshua, who was visibly uncomfortable with the anger targeted towards him.

He hugged his elbows, glancing to Aldo for help.

"Easy on my right-hand man Joshua o'er here, it was my idea, blondie" Aldo put his hand up, walking over to Joshua and standing by him protectively."Doggy doc's goin' to dig that slug out ya gam" he snorted, "he's gonna wrap it up in a cast, and you got a good how-I-broke-my-leg-mountain-climbin’ story; that's German, ain't it? Y'all like climbin’ mountains, don't ya?". It was almost laughable, how proud-of-himself Aldo looked at this new plan.

"I don't. I like smoking, drinking, and ordering in restaurants. But I see your point" Bridget nodded sarcastically. She tilted her head, eyes wandering to Aldo's arm around Joshua's waist.

Aldo quickly snuffed some more tobacco, putting his small box away before speaking again."We fill you up with morphine 'til it's comin' out yer ears, and just limp your lil' ass up that rouge carpet" he grinned triumphantly, as if his plan would be able to solve world hunger.

"I know this is a silly question before I ask it, but, can you Americans speak any other language than English?" She asked, leaning back."Asides from 'Joshy' over here-" Bridget coughed, nodding towards Joshua.

"Don't call him Joshy" Aldo growled, his hold on Joshua's grip tightening."I love you" he whispered, against Josh's ear.

The corners of Joshua's lips quirked up into a smile."I love you too, Aldo".

"We both speak a little Italian" Donny piped up, referencing himself and Aldo.

"With an atrocious accent, no doubt. But that doesn't exactly kill us in the crib. Germans don't exactly have a good ear for Italian...You, Joshua, you said to me earlier how you know many languages. What about you?".

Joshua's eyes widened a bit, eyebrows raising at attention."Uh, uhm, well- I, uh, actually..." he turned to Aldo, then Donny, and everyone else, all eyes on him."I was unfortunate enough to not exactly have Italian be a part o'the list o'languages I know".

"Goddammit, Josh, are you serious?" Donny howled.

"Joshy, y'gotta be kiddin' me. You grew up in that fancy mansion of yer's, been learnin' to hunt with guns since you were five, use bombs since you were ten, and learn languages since before all that, and yer tellin' me neither yer mom nor yer pops ever put a lil' Italian in ya?" Aldo exhaled, looking at Joshua, dumbfounded.

Joshua nodded shyly."Mhm. I-I've got almost every other language in my head, you guys. Polish, Hebrew, Welsh, even Spanish, but I doubt that that'd be any at all useful? I got Russian, Portuguese, Japanese, Turkish, too. But no one in m'house spared the light of day for Italian if I was already learnin' Spanish".

Aldo kept his focus on Joshua, trailing his hand up to pat Joshua's shoulder.

"So you mumble Italian-Spanish bullshit and brazen through it, is that the plan?" Bridget gave them a 'you can't be serious' look.

"That's about it" Aldo shrugged.

Bridget nodded, "that sounds good" she mumbled.

"Sounds like shit, what else are we gon' do? Go home?".

"No, that sounds good. If you don't blow it, with that, I can get you in the building...Who does what?" Bridget clarified, looking around.

"Well, I speak the most Italian-" Aldo glanced at Joshua, "so I'll be yer escort. Donowitz speaks the third most, so he'll be yer Italian cameraman. Omar, fourth-most, he'll be Donny's assistant, like Josh'll be mine".

"An escort's assistant-?" Bridget questioned.

"Listen, lady we're in the middle o'some kinda world war with Jews runnin' around and Nazis huntin' after them, destroyin' everything that gets in their way. What's wrong with escorts havin' a lil' extra protection and assistance, huh?" Aldo pointed out.

Omar snapped his head in Aldo's direction, caught off-guard."I don't speak Italian".

"Like I said, fourth-best. Just keep yer fuckin' mouth shut-" Joshua cut Aldo off by snorting, "In fact, why don't you start practicin' right now?" Aldo grinned, looking down at Josh, who was holding back laughter.

[lookbluesoup]

Fallout OC Interview

@robobrainmurdermysterytheatre and @quinndecker214 tagged me to do this LITERAL AGES ago! Thanks for this and IM SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG it got lost in my drafts I hope it was worth the wait //shot I TAG @nuclearvessel @ronqueesha @tarberrymentats @wild-w4steland-snip3r @daddyfuckinlonglegs @saltsealed @thewookieruns No pressure!!

Choose an OC.

Answer them as that OC.

Tag 5 people to do the same.

1. What is your name? Nathaniel Christian Wright. Maiden name Ronan, if, aha, you like fun-facts.

2. How old are you? You know I lost count somewhere after 240?

3. What do you look like?

4. Where are you from? Where do you live now? I was born a good ways South of here, spent most of my childhood there. Moved to Boston... before the War. Now I stay with Piper in Diamond City between work, got an infield view and everything! Never would have bet on that the day I woke up in the Vault. I guess life’s funny, hunh? I - ...I’m glad to be there.

5. What was your childhood like? Oh, nothing special, really. My Pa was ex-military, a chaplain. Ma stayed home to tend the house, and raise rambunctious sons. She was - good. I wonder sometimes whether she’d be proud of me, out here.

6. What groups are you friendly with? Are you allied with any factions? Well, I am K i n g of the Castle - a-hem, I mean, General. Yeah, just General. (//Ronnie distantly yells something about the joke not being funny the 80th time)

[[There are rumors of Nate being a leading Railroad Agent, but he absolutely would not admit to that in a casual interview xD]]

7. Tell me about your best friend. Deacon? Hah! What can’t I tell you about him! He’s got a two-dozen kids. Twelve wives. One’s a ghoul. He’s also a synth, but you didn’t hear that from me. Has an extra toe on his left foot. Those sunglasses aren’t a fashion statement, they’re glued to his face. Horrible accident, really. Inoperable. He can speak five languages, including Zetan. I swear, it’s all true! But, ah. He’s a good friend. Better than he knows.

8. Do you have a family? Tell me about them! My son, Shaun, lives here at the Castle. I wish I could bring him to Diamond City, let him make friends with the other kids, try to give him something of the life he might’ve had before the War. But I’ve got enemies. The Minutemen have enemies. Comes with the job. It’s safer for Shaun to be here, out of the limelight. And also, you know, with a barracks full of guns ready at a minute’s notice if there’s trouble. My men are family, too. Hell, I feel closer to the people here than I did most of my own blood in the old world. There’s also my butler, Codsworth. And Natalie, Piper’s little sister - well, she may as well be my little sister, too. But hey, keep that one off the record. Nat’d never forgive me.

9. What about a partner or partners? I’m a happily tethered man, bound for life to one kickass reporter, Mrs. Wright. You may have heard of her. 

10. Have you ever heard of The Brotherhood of Steel? What do you think about them? [Nate seems more guarded] Yeah, I know them. That graveyard across the channel used to be their airship. I wish it had ended differently, but... well, war never changes.

11. Who are your enemies, and why? I suppose that’s a natural follow-up question. Well, most of the Raider gangs will attack on sight. Gunners, too. But we’ve managed to clear a pretty safe stretch between major towns over the past year. Since the Minutemen have established a pro-synth stance, more than a few settlements shut their doors on us. Lost a fair number of volunteers. But no violence so far. Other than that... the remnants of Brotherhood here aren’t fond of me, personally. Why? We parted on bad terms. Lets just - leave it at that. Anyone else out here can tell you the story. There are Institute survivors, too. We tried to get as many noncombatants out as we could the day it fell, but it was a battle. It was messy. A lot haven’t forgiven me for turning on them. [sighs] ...Can you blame them? The Minutemen have kept a running list of Courser sightings since then. So many still aren’t accounted for. Keeps me up at night, sometimes.  

12. What about The Enclave? I’ve heard rumors. None of them good. 13. How do you feel about Super Mutants? Tough bastards. I wish we could help them. I know they don’t all go crazy, and Virgil was making progress on a cure. But I haven’t seen him in years. We’re not - really on speaking terms.

14. Have you ever fought a Deathclaw? More than once, and never unscathed. Not bragging! It’s the truth. Take a look at this, [he rolls back his sleeve to show a massive scar running over his upper arm] Piper and I got pinned down, lizard gutted me and nearly lost me an arm. Also? Ruined my best flannel shirt.

15. What’s the craziest fight you’ve ever been in? Bunker Hill. What a hellscape. Between the Railroad and the Institute, things were hot enough. But somehow the Brotherhood found out, too. It’s a wonder Bunker Hill wasn’t razed to the ground. My Courser escort was killed in a Railroad ambush and the synths we were after escaped. I barely got out alive.

[[Nate actually killed X4-18 and helped the synths escape, but that’s another Railroad secret :’D]] 16. Do you like fighting? No. But I’ll do what I have to to stay alive and protect the people I care about. 17. What’s your weapon of choice? A modified radium rifle. I was a sniper back in my army days, it’s what I’m trained in. But if the fight does get close, this gun’s versatile enough to still be useful. Wish my loadout back in Anchorage did that. I’m fond of the laser musket, too - but you only get one shot, and then everyone will know exactly where you are. Strategically it’s too limited.

18. How do you survive? Your wits, your charm, your skills, brute force, some combination? (a.k.a. what’s your S.P.E.C.I.A.L?) My winning charm, of course! [winks] And trekking all over the Commonwealth keeps me fit for when folks aren’t so interested in talking. Piper keeps the luck for both of us. I’m - pretty sure I’m cursed, actually.

S(6) P(7) E(8) C(11) I(7) A(5) L(2)

19. Have you ever been in a vault? What do you think about them? I suppose I should be grateful, really. If not for the Vaults, I’d have died two centuries ago. I’d never have met Piper, or taught Shaun to play baseball. None of this... none of this at all would have happened. [grimaces] Don’t get me wrong. Vault-tec was fucking insane. The things they did to people in some of those Vaults-? I was uncharacteristically lucky. There’s a reason they call me the Sole Survivor, and it’s not from winning some tv game show about living on an island.

20. How do you beat all the radiation around here? Has it affected you? My Pip-Boy has a Geiger counter built in so I can avoid the worst of it. But sometimes it can’t be helped. I always keep Rad-Away and Rad-X on hand. Other than that, I bring the old vault suit to wear under my clothes if I know exposure’s inevitable. It helps a little. Piper likes to tease me about that, but somehow I think she prefers me with hair and less than six limbs. Plus, my ass looks great in blue. Her words. Not mine. Yes, you can quote that.

21. What’s your favorite wasteland critter? The radstags, no doubt! [motions to Legs Washington] Look at those little extra arms wiggling around. Adorable.

22. What’s your least favorite wasteland critter? Yao guais. They are way too stealthy for something that big. I dunno what they’re eating up in Maine, but Far Harbor was full of them. Big, grumpy ones. And look, have you ever tried to outrun a bear? Don’t.

23. How do you feel about robots? I like the ones that aren’t shooting at me! Codsworth and Ada are friends. Isabel’s eyebot, Sparks? Adorable. I even got this hat from an old Sentry named Ironsides. Those Rust Devils and their junk bots though? I try not to fight them without a lot of backup. Got ambushed by a Succubus once. Not a good time. At all.

24. How many caps do you have on you right now? Why, you planning to rob me? Kidding. About 200, which is a lot for me generally speaking.

25. Nuka Cola or Sunset Sarsaparilla? [Suddenly excited] Wait, does Sunset Sarsaparilla still exist?

26. Do you do chems? Aside from Med-X when I’ve been shot? Not if I can help it.

27. Do you ever think about the Pre-War world? Not as often as in the beginning, but it does happen sometimes. I’ll have dreams where I’m back in my old life, and it’s always... disorienting.

28. What’s your deepest regret? What would you do differently? There are - a lot. I’ll admit it. Sometimes I wonder, if I’d only just - hm... Well. To be honest, I’ve been trying not to linger so much on what I’ve done wrong, and focus on what I can do right for the future instead. Piper taught me that.

29. What’s your biggest achievement? Or what do you hope to achieve?  I’ll always be proud to call myself Mr. Wright. If I can be half the man Piper tells me I am, I’ll consider it a life well lived.

30. What do you want for the future? For yourself? Your friends? The world? Geeze, you could give my wife a run for her money with a loaded question like that! I want... a future where folks don’t have to be afraid of monsters coming after them in the night. I want synths to have a fair chance at living their own lives, as who they are, without pretending. I want Shaun to - be able to grow up. For myself? Everything I need is right here already.

[mars-the-4th-planet]

Jukebox gets drafted into the longest, bloodiest, most desperate war in American history.

Isaac Munger from the Isaac Munger show network and Ko™ were back from the library. "Trolli! You would not believe what happened!"

Trolli the troll wiped his cheeto hands off on Kos shirt and got up. "Oh, did you see your letter? Sorry, I made it a little orange." He said.

"Trolli, no I just washed her shirt... And no thats not it at all... What is that?"

He opened the letter while Ko chased Trolli around trying to slap him for dirtying her shirt again. "Huh... A letter of draft? But why- oh right, I am 18 now... Darn... But what war?"

The War on Christmas

"this has to be a joke." He said. But it did seem to have official documentation and was signed by General Eisenhower III of the Californian State Militia Enterprise.

"I guess we will have to go down to the military base down the road in a few minutes. Ko, are you coming?"

Ko sat down, tired if trying to catch the weasely Trolli. "Why would I come? I didnt get drafted. Im a girl, box idk if you NOTICED. I guess anime girls can get drafted but I am clearly 3D. Go ask Sakura if she got a letter."

"Sakura? Trolli?"

"No Master."

"Nah br0 I marked myself down as a girl too. What are they gonna do, check? Hahaha. By claiming I am a girl they think im trans and trans people are banned from the military so I cannot get drafted!"

"No Master."

"Dammit, thats how the law works... Wait. I thought I only had one person in this house who called me Master. Which is frankly one too many."

Eji slithered down the stairwell and snuggled up to the box.

"Are you drafted too Eji?"

"No, I am a resident of the UK here on a servitude visa. I cannot get drafted or join the military."

"A servitude visa... Oh my god..." Isaac face-palmed. "Eji you are making this weird."

Eji just grinned. "Where are you going master?"

"Oh I got drafted into the war on Christmas..." Isaac said glumly.

The grin disappeared. "No!! Tell them it was a mistake!"

"Sorry Eji, the Californian State makes no mistakes. You know this."

"Noooooooooo!" Eji cried out clutching Isaac's leg. "I cannot lose you!"

"Ko tell him he is being ridiculous. Ko?"

Ko was clutching Isaac's other leg.

Jukebox sighed. "Fine. I will kiss you goodbye first."

"Yay!"

"Not you Eji."

"Aww..."

After kissing his business partner and girlfriend, both of which were the same person, he headed out in his father's military uniform and a sack on a stick full of his belongings. He had a picture of Ko in his pocket as well.

-Later that day-

Isaac was lined up with two dozen other boys in military uniforms. They had varying degrees of clearly not wanting to be there, except one named Todd Ichabod who seemed gleeful.

The Sergeant was an elderly woman named Callispo Marximillian. She was wielding a cane made of untreated iron and it clanked when she walked around the cement floor. The lights overhead were hot and buzzed with unfeeling anger. One flickered with each clank of the cane.

"Listen up butter boys. We have seen way too many Happy Holiday cups in this blessed state. Liberals spreading their anti-christmas nonsense are everywhere, but they are strongest here in California. We must take back the holiday season no matter the cost, for the dignity of the West! We will bring back the spirit of Christmas stronger than ever before!"

"While I like Christmas myself ma'am, is a military operation really necessary? I mean, we arent being forced to not celebrate Christmas they are just trying to be inclusive by saying happy holidays..." Isaac pointed out, a bit nervous.

"Shut the fuck up private munger. All of you, I will not tolerate this kind of behavior. Now here is the protocol: Tomorrow we will go to Starbucks after Starbucks, and store after store, and spread Christmas cheer all across the town. Say merry Christmas to all of em and make em say it back. Got it?"

"Yes ma'am!" they all said in unison.

"It is actually SIR, boys. I am a woman, but all Sergeants are to be called Sir. I am not your mother, I am not your teacher, or your wife. I am your military commander and you will address me appropriately. Got it?"

"Yes sir!" they all said in unison.

Callispo had one last thing to say "Now remember, if any of em give you trouble you are permitted to use aggressive force. You have belts on, and if that fails you may put em in a headlock till the say Merry Christmas with a smile!" She grinned.

"But Sir... Wouldnt a headlock put pressure on their throat? Which makes it difficult for people to talk and say 'merry Christmas' like this all seems a little..."

Callispo pressed her cane tip against Isaac's chest. "A little what, private? A little AWESOME? Because it is not. It is a lot awesome. We are doing gods work young man, and I do not want to hear another whiny hippy peep about it. Now go take showers yall, you all smell like kicked ass. Except private munger, who smells like a prissy princess who takes bubble baths. Are you a prissy princess boy?!" the other draftees giggled.

"No sir." Isaac said, irritated.

"Louder!"

"NO SIR!!" He shouted as loud as he could.

"Good. Now go clean up, eat, and watch a God's not Dead and a Christmas movie. We got a busy day tomorrow!"

-Meanwhile back home-

Eji paced back and forth, openly distressed. "Ko, do you know what box means to me?! He is the only reason I am still alive... He is the only reason I WANT to still be alive... The world is a hell hole and he is the angel stuck in it."

"Eji please calm down." Ko said. "I know him. He will come marching back like he always does. Remember the trip to Arizona? If he can survive that, he can survive the war on Christmas."

The brit sighed. "I should volentarily signed up... Pretended to be an American... Then I could go protect him... Ohh he is too innocent for war. This could destroy him in more ways than one, oh god.."

Trolli continued eating cheetos and watched them fret. "Guys, I am sure your lover boy will come home. I mean, what could happen, a 5'2 Starbucks employee wastes him? Hah! No."

"You fools keep it down. I am trying to record."

"Spookbox!" Sakura gasped, jumping seemingly out of nowhere. "What are you doing here?!"

"I will be using Isaac's channel while he is away. It is going to be a spooky Christmas. AND I will be reviewing good western cartoons not that anime trash. Oh hey Sakura remember that skit where you killed me? I think it is time I repayed the favor."

"H-Huh? But-"

Spookbox grabbed Sakura and brought her into the recording room while she struggled. "Nooooo! Dont kill meeeeee!"

The others tried to help her but seemed to bang against the black edge of the screen. He had blocked them out.

"Poor Sakura..." Said ko, looking extremely concerned.

"War hurts those at home too." Said Eji, quite astutely. He was pretty smart when not being completely thirsty.

"My Saki... No..." Trolli for once looked genuinely upset like he might cry. "We used to troll Isaac so much together... I will always remember her bathroom prank... What a clever girl... Why cant real girls be that funny and awesome."

"Hey!"

"I did not mean you Ko. Jk yeah I did!" He once again ran around the room with Ko chasing him angrily, trying to find some humor in the situation despite there being none.

"Trolli deals with loss by trolling? Figures..." Eji said. He sighed and sat down on the floor, leaning against the wall. "How will I deal with loss, if Isaac does not return?"

~~to be continued~~

[stressedspidergirlsfandomblog]

Pt12

"You barely ate anything," Keith protests. He can see the bones in Shiro's face are more sharply defined, now.

Watching Curtis slide in behind Shiro and wrap his arms around the other man's middle, Keith wonders if Shiro would even sit up without the support. He seems frail. He's never seemed frail before. Never.

"I put the soup bowl back mostly full," he continues. "We brought sushi, if you'd rather..."

Krolia takes the cue to bring food over from the counter. Along with drinks and Lance gets up to help her load the coffee table with silverware and food.

"Or pizza," Matt suggests.

"Or if youre queasy... Soup or juice."

Shiro breathes out through his nose.

"Patience yields focus," Keith, Matt, Pidge, and Lance all day in perfect unison.

Shiro just wrinkles his nose in mock irritation by way of response. Leaning over he picks up one of the juice packets and makes a big show of being unable to open it one handed. He could if he wanted to.

Curtis snorts, and wrestles the packet away to crack it open and pass it back. But not before faking a hand over and then taking a long drink of it, first.

"Gross," Shiro mutters.

"You've had my tongue in your mouth, but sharing a drink is where you draw the line? Well guess where else I guess my mouth doesn't belong."

"Oh, no gross. No, not cool." Lance pretends to cover his ears. "Even referencing old people sex is nasty!"

"Old!" Shiro says indignantly as he can. Play along. Fake it till you make it.

Tempted to make an experience joke, Curtis feels it might hit a sore spot. For all he knows Lance has done a little dating recently.

"Yeah I mean you look like a grandpa, why don't you dye it?" Matt asks. Mostly still teasing.

"So i can look as tired as I feel?' Shiro tries. It falls flat. "The senior citizen discount is better than the one for veterans...." He tries, working a smile onto his face.

Lance looks at him, and lightly touches the Altean marks on his cheeks. "Its for her, isnt it?" He asks, eyes overbright. He's really moving on fine. But he'd never thought all those times Shiro checked on him, that Shiro was still grieving, too.

Looking down and away he presses his lips into a thin line so they won't tremble. Taking a drink of juice, he lets the flavor roll over his tongue. At least no one's pushing him to eat.

When Shiro finishes off his drink, Lance makes eye contact with Curtis. Shifting back, he understands. And isn't shocked when Shiro is slammed into him and Lance's arms dig into his middle.

"I miss her, too," Pidge says abruptly, and Lance holds out an arm. She squishes into the pile. "Keith just get your ass in here," she snaps irritably and he 'reluctantly' joins. Curtis shifts away, letting Keith take his spot. Keith settles behind Shiro, supporting him.

"I'm really sorry about Adam, too," Keith says softly. "I let you blow me off once and I never... We both loved him."

"I never even thought to check..." Matt says. "After you left, he and I got closer. He was a good guy."

Shiro's shoulders start to shake in silent sobs.

Colleen and Sam have finished up enough to know the topic has turned to Adam. "He knew how you felt about him," Sam promises. "And he knew you were alive and coming home." If that helps he doesn't know, but hopefully it's better than knowing nothing. "I think he was excited to see you. Even if you two never were going to be the way you were before."

Curtis quietly does his best to explain to Krolia who Adam was. She knows Allura.

"It doesn't upset you? Them praising him?"

"That's Takashi's past. I'm his present, and I hope...his future."

Krolia shrugs. Humans are weird.

At some point the grieving winds down and concludes. Keith is gently rubbing Shiro's back and trying to reassure him. For all he knows his brother is mortified at having broken down in front of witnesses.

Curtis drags over a box of tissues that gets passed around.

"Okay my turn, move aside boys," Colleen says, forcing the paladins to clear out until she has a path to Shiro. Pulling him into a tight hug, she's gratified when he leans into her and hugs back. Patting his back gently, she kisses the side of his head. "I don't know when we forgot you were just a young pilot... Not much older than Matt. You've always been like family to us."

Shiro tries to brush her comments aside but she's not having it.

"Sam knew you were the best. And somewhere along the way we forgot you were anything other than a leader. We forgot to be family. You and Adam and Keith were one. And at the Garrison it was you, Sam, and Matt."

"I was your boss," he points out, voice muffled by her shoulder.

"Moms trump all military rankings. I'm always able to veto you," she tells him reassuringly.

"Pff," he protests, only to scrunch his face when she peppers him with kisses.

"Earth mothers have no shame," Curtis comments to Krolia quietly.

"Make a comment like that and you're next," Collen warns. "We're all family here."

"Why does that sound like a threat?" Keith asks, grunting when Shiro pushes against him in a lackluster attempt to escape more affection.

"Because it is," Pidge and Matt say in unison.

"Holt family hug!" Sam insists, bunching up his kids closer to his wife.

Curtis isn't sure how it happens but somehow they all end up squeezed together in a group hug. It's not comfortable, and thankfully it doesn't last long, but it feels kind of perfect.

Once freed Shiro takes an interest in the food, leaning forward to use his fingers to pick out random pieces of sushi and dumping them on a plate before settling back against Keith.

"Are you gonna use me as furniture all night?" Keith complains. Not like Shiro and Adam hadn't told him the same thing hundreds of times before. He wriggles a little in mock discomfort and Shiro makes an annoyed noise when it makes him drop his sushi.

"I've got this Shiro," Lance reassures him, leaning over to grab chopsticks.

"Oh no, take cover," Pidge warns.

"Hey! I'm really good at using chopsticks!" he drops the piece of sushi twice before he has it.

"Why're you taking my food?" Shiro complains.

"Im not, I'm helping. Open wide."

"What?"

Keith starts to laugh. Curtis can't imagine Shiro letting someone feed him. He won't even eat off Curtis' fork at restaurants unless Curtis passes the whole fork over. Laughing, too, soon everyone but Lance is giggling.

"Nope. Not gonna happen." Shiro selects a different piece and stuffs it into his mouth.

"Fine!" Lance jokes, setting the piece back along with the chopsticks.

Shiro takes them up instantly with a little smirk.

Keith leans over Shiro's shoulder. "That looks good," he says, reaching for a piece.

"Hey!" Shiro protests, trying to rebuff him with just his shoulders. Stuffing the piece in question into his mouth, he tries to inform Keith that it's gone now. His mouth is too full.

"I mean there's more on your plate," Keith points out. He'll do this all day if it means Shiro will eat.

"Cut it out," Colleen warns. "You'll choke."

Shiro gives Keith a look that most definitely says : no I won't.

"Gross. Shiro, gross."

"Seems interesting to me," Curtis grins, having caught the exchange.

Keith gives Lance a look. "I gotta stretch," he tells Shiro, gently patting his back. He wheezes when Shiro leans back on him more. "I will pee on you," he threatens and Shiro instantly sits up straight.

Lance shifts some, not to take Keith's spot but to offer more support. Pidge and Matt shift in response.

"Hey, can I talk to you for a second?" Keith asks Curtis, checking to see Shiro is occuppied by Pidge, Matt, and Lance.

"Sure."

"Ask Shiro, I'm really bad with words, okay? But I feel like I should say something. I know very little about you guys and I'm sorry. But I can tell you really love him. And he loves you. And I don't know how it works, or what the future holds...

But it was so different with Adam. He was so different. Patience yields focus. Everything had to be controlled. And he had to be perfect. He was a little bit of a show off... And he drove himself to the edge." Keith takes a breath. "And they suffered for it. Trying to support someone who never chooses you first. I was so angry at Adam but I get it now. And... I see him choosing you. This time he's choosing you.

"I see the way he looks for you. Or just the way you guys look at each other. You're so in tune." Keith looks down. "And I'm so sorry you had to call us to task... You're right. We are his family. And so we're yours, too.

"And i don't know what I'm really trying to say other than... He's not struggling or fighting for anything. He has you. And I'm so grateful he has you. I haven't seen him relax... Or drop his guard... He was so annoyed all of us came," Keith laughs. Curtis grins. "And he didn't even try that hard to play Mr. Perfect and cover it up. We got to grieve with him. And tease again." He rubs at his eyes.

"I don't know what he'd be like without you in his life right now, but I'm glad I don't have to find out."

(I'll edit more in later?)