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#IM SO MAD BC I HAD WAY MORE
theygender · 7 days
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Finding out that "cat scratch fever" is a real thing and not just a metaphor in a song while googling why I've got muscle/joint pain radiating from my shoulder to my fingers after getting scratched and bit a lot by my new kitten and then realizing that my lymph node is swollen
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the way i rewatch any part of rottmnt and once again come away from canon leo wondering where the actual heck are people getting this “oohhhh he only thinks he’s good for self sacrifice or as a tool, he has absolutely zero self worth whatsoever” instead of the canon version who’s kind of a manipulative lil stinker and KNOWS he has stuff to bring to the table but isn’t sure how to be Seen
it’s not that he thinks he’s worthless or not wanted. i fuckin promise you that about rise leo. he does not seriously think he is unloved or unwanted or ~one mistake away from being dropped by his own family~ or whatever
what he IS is rejection-sensitive in the way that makes any time he fails feel like the end of the world to HIM (setting aside that time he messed up and it did literally trigger the near-apocalypse and near deaths of him and his family lol), so he’d rather not try than risk messing up
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nexus-nebulae · 3 months
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me as a kid: i have all these problems
every adult around me: you're not old enough to know what's wrong with you, you're fine
me as an adult: i still have all these problems
my doctors after i finally got the opportunity to choose them myself: oh my fucking god why have you never gotten help for all these problems. you should have seen me 10 years ago
#problems i have finally gotten help for that i was told i was not old enough to know about:#AMPS (was told it was anxiety and then when i kept coming back they said it was fibro Quite Literally just to get me to shut up)#(like the doc i just saw literally said 'they diagnose fibromyalgia here when they dont know what the problem is but dont feel like testing)#multiple food allergies (was also told the stomach pain and vomiting was anxiety)#seborrheic dermatitis (i was told 'youre just stressed thats why you have a rash')#(which- if im so stressed my skin is literally dying MAYBE I STILL NEED HELP?????????)#autism and adhd (my father knew! but refused to get me assessed bc if i dont have a diagnosis theres no problem right :)#anxiety disorder (oh so when I'm in pain i DO have anxiety but when i say i have anxiety I'm overreacting okay)#dyscalculia and possibly dyslexia ('you just need to try harder' I've asked for a tutor five times)#some of my doctors don't actually believe me about some of these problems BECAUSE i have no records from when i was a kid#they're like 'it just popped up at 18? seems suspicious......' like I WASN'T ALLOWED TO GO TO THE DOCTOR'S UNTIL THEN#there's definitely more but I'm still mad abt it#i might not be in a wheelchair Almost All The Time if i had gotten help BEFORE i lost half the feeling in my legs#i KNEW the fibro was a BS diagnosis#i tried to get assessed for autism at 16 and was told i have schizotypal personality disorder instead with literally zero testing#like my psych just refused to allow me to get tested for autism she was like 'no you have spd i Just Know'#same psych that said there was zero way i had anything like DID because my symptoms didn't present Exactly like the Only other#patient at the clinic with DID. i want to note that that was a 14 year old boy still being actively abused#and i was a 20 year old who was in a safe environment and had distanced myself from my abusers and stressors
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faaun · 1 month
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ok let's catch up quickly
#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth#(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian#like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told#him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive#fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research#(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux#to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him#my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept#insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them#and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating#apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they#keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading#this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY#JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT#NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn#this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore#i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt#himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure#even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin#right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love#her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her#its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking#kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD#i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society#feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO#WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best#its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good#one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much
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astranauticus · 1 year
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oh lol i forgot to post this robit sketches! because i have one (1) bit and im sure as hell gonna commit to it apparently
#rolling with difficulty#art I made#'shut your up' is a verbatim quote from an ex classmate i just thought it was funny#i dont think it was intentional i think he was just so angry that Words Failed on him#anyway im absolutely not keeping that maxim design. god i fucking hate clothing design *so* much#austin: 'hes a gold plated mechanite dressed in blue and grey robes' me trying to figure out colour placement: 'what FUCK'#i had one (1) good idea and that was 'skeleton shaped robit' and every other part of that design went to hell apparently#bc all the other mechanites we've had were either like... flesh..? shaped?? like that sorta silhouette (basically most of the old crew)#or more mechanical/geometric (vr-la's designs and like.. k-lb? i guess? if that counts)#so. therefore. bone shaped mechanite. also if i was gonna try that concept on anyone it may as well be maxim if you think about it#idk i thought it would be interesting. and also undertale was my first fandom so uh#ANYWAY. MOVING ON FROM THAT THOUGHT.#this started as a 2am intrusive thought of like#'we (artists in the discord) keep joking abt how k-lb would be a nightmare to draw but like.. how hard is it really'#anyway as you can probably expect. famous last words#i mean genuinely mad respect to noir but i think i said to one of my friends when i showed them this sketch#'i mean this in the nicest way possible but you can just tell he was designed for an audio only storytelling format' LMAO#if anyone is unwise enough to attempt this (so basically @ my future self lmao)#do the lineart and colouring for the wires in front of the inner electricity skeleton (???) and the ones behind it on SEPARATE LAYERS#drew the wires all together then the electricity and had to painstakingly go over the electricity with an eraser it was a fucking nightmare
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arundolyn · 7 months
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obsessed with how clearly terfy weird bitches on here will say shit when called out for saying terf shit like "um well ACTUALLY maybe you think i sound like a terf because you identify normal feminists as terfs?? 🤔"
and then make absolutely no effort not to use transmisogynistic rhetoric and say weird shit that very very obviously is transphobia, like using terms like "trans rights activists" and "trans identified" and think they're so sneaky and nobody notices?
yeah i don't support all women. some of you bitches are terminally stupid
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violentdevotion · 1 year
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wait do you have a fav boys character yet ?
i really like butcher but i feel like that's a basic answer and also the wrong answer. in another world id like frenchie but i can't get over how much i hate the actor. I love maeve theres never a moment she's on screen where im thinking get this woman outta here she's always entertaining to me. i like starlight but (and this is probably a bit nasty to say) there's smth a little uncanny valley about her sometimes where when she's talking im not listening but staring at her face trying to see what features throwing me off. I hate ashley but the actress played an insufferable character in jessica jones too and I really appreciate her ability to play The Most annoying woman you know.
centrist answer i like them all (except stormfront. hated her before i even knew she was a nazi. she was on insta live and i was waiting for her to explode and die) but my fave would have to be butcher bc i find im rooting for him the most and constantly justifying his actions. but sometimes karl urbans accent pisses me off. also black noir but he doesn't Do anything so it's hard to have him as a fave bc he's barely there.
#avds.got.mail#kieran tag#ik men like soldier boy so ill wait to see him do some evil disgusting horrendous thing that would make most ppl go ew he sucks but make#cis men ages 18-35 go wow hes soo cool#i like kimiko too but i dont think im allowed to say shes my fave when sometimes when shes like i dont want to be a weapon anymore :( im#mad at her and thinking get over it. i like mm but hes kinda this mother hen character and i dont rly tend to favour characters who are the#rational voice of reason like can we please get some conflict here#hughies whatever. i rly like his dad though lets go simon pegg#in the 7: homelander sucks. i find a train fun but his athlete storyline wasnt compelling to me personally bc the more i thought about it#the more i thought his superpower sucks. despite it all i find the deep kinda fun. i like that hes a scientologist.#didnt like transparent. was meh about lamplighter. didnt like whats his name sonicboom?? had a personal vendetta against that hijabi supe#we saw for like 2 seconds girl what are you doing there !!!!!! why are you playing into the diversity market !!!!#like edgar but in the way everyone likes giancarlo esposito's characters#nadia is whatever she was always meh to me even as a background character but i rly love the idea of having the superpower to explode#peoples heads with your mind i cant help but think of the xmen and think about if there was a mutant with the ability to explode heads with#their mind and that was their only ability and what a hard fucking sell that would be for xavier#(ive never read the xmen comics and have only seen some of the movies so i like to imagine charles xavier as lilo in the lilo and stitch#cartoon where every episode she would find an experiment with a unique function to destroy and would have to find it a home where it could#help instead. like yeah this experiment fattens people up and eats them lets put him in a resturant or smth#but with mutants#this mutant makes ice lets send him to a fridge company. this mutant explodes heads lets.... erm.#)
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risingsunresistance · 6 months
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i went to a con over the weekend and bought a bunch of stuff from a rock shop. love going to cons in this area bc it's like 25% fandom junk (and i dont rlly watch anime), 50% arts and crafts, and another 25% JUST for funko pops hdhfhd
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already showed you Apple :]
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also got this lil tree
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some mushrooms to go with my bigger mushroom that i got at a different convention from different people jdgfkh
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and... ROCK PIG !! he is wonderful and also very heavy
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also bag update! got the heart pin at the con, everything else has just been added/moved/etc overtime lol. need to space it out better but im tired of stabbing myself so it's fine for now
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also ark got me a beetle :D
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un-pearable · 2 years
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the sheer volume of titans tower aus are the most baffling thing to me because fic fandom treats it like this Core Event that his entire life is oriented around… they always treat tim like he’s a newbie who just picked up a bo staff five minutes ago when that couldn’t be further from the truth. he’s existed for over a decade at that point. he’s had over a hundred issues of a solo, not even touching his appearances anywhere else. in universe, he’s been robin for at least 3-4 years. he had AN ENTIRE OTHER TEAM who’s series ran for three years and had comics wide crossovers twice. he was enlisted in a war. he’s time traveled. he’s been to apocalips. he’s not a little baby who’s in too deep that kid’s been to space.
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bowtiestash · 2 months
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one of the things i find funny now with my past shitty dnd experience is the fact that the problem player only seemed to really care about their own character, and whenever they drew dnd art it would look like this:
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#theres a lot of things i find funny whenever i think back on it#its fun to clown on them even tho back then i had so much grief#i dont really like to reminisce on the shitty things that happened but its fun to laugh at how stupid it was#i AM kinda dunkin on their art but its bc they were like 'OGHH I LOVE ALL THE CHARACTERS' but then showed close to no interest in other pcs#they literally treated it like their character was the Main Character and was the center of the world#it was very reflective in their art.#other things i find funny: how they obviously cheated their rolls#they averaged ... 18 i think?#meanwhile the second highest was 15 and everyone else was within 2 points lower of that#and also their infamous '...for what exactly?' question when they questioned me 'getting in the way' of their rp#even tho i was rping my character and having them stop their pc from doin things due to clash of motives#also. i was a text rper. LMAO#ITS JUST SO FUCKING FUNNY LIKE WDYM 'FOR WHAT EXACTLY' LMFAOAOAOAOOO THEYRE THEIR OWN PERSON WITH THEIR OWN MOTIVES.#skypeaks#im so glad i dont feel shitty abt it anymore. its just so fucking stupid#like yeah it affected me but now im WELL past the point of being mad abt it its just. Funny.#on that note tho i hope that whomever this person has hurt can heal as well. bc im sure those other people have had to deal with WORSE imo#i think all things considered i didnt have it that bad. i just had a small taste of their shitty behavior#EDIT: i might make more small doodles with this experience. its just funny to recall so who knows
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taylor · 2 days
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still reeling over the fact that almost 2 months ago the guy i was talking to (not dating, but definitely 'seeing') took another girl TO MY AND MY ROOMMATE'S APARTMENT to FUCK HER ON OUR AIR MATTRESS while i was ON VACATION THOUSANDS OF MILES AWAY
honestly. how do i get myself into these situations
#followed by him being blackout drunk sleeping on our DOORSTEP the very next day#he said he thought it was weird i said i liked him so soon into meeting him#but he would constantly say shit like 'falling for you more now' and 'my friend told my sister i have a new gf now'#like OKAY HOMEBOY#so dude it's so fucked i'll give more details in these tags in case anyone cares for a lil more context#before my trip back to california for sdcc i talked to him#said hey i know we're not dating but while im gone for almost 2 weeks are we gonna mess around with other people? like where is ur head#he said 'you can sleep with other people because you have a higher sex drive than me but i won't be doing that but you go ahead'#and im like okay weird response but okay cool#before i ended up leaving actually i did end up hooking up w someone and when i came back to my apartment he said 'looks like someone had a#'fun night' but he said it like....in a salty fucking way and i was like ur not allowed to be mad bc you refuse to be in a relationship wit#me despite me LETTING YOU LIVE WITH ME AND MY BFF FOR THE LAST ALMOST MONTH#oh yeah that part too#he was evicted and was staying with us for a few nights that turned into almost a month#NO he did not pay rent YES he did eat all our food#YES im an idiot for not seeing his red flags sooner but i was infatuated#so anyway my friend goes 'he's salty you fucked another dude' and im like excuse me how the fuck is he gonna be mad when WE TALKED ABOUT TH#*THIS#now granted it was a day before my trip so it wasn't ON my trip that i slept with someone else#but im like. how are u gonna be mad im gonna go enjoy myself when you've made it painfully clear you want me but want 0 strings#so anyway while im in california my bff calls me like hey dude john is on our air mattress naked with another girl#i was like excusethefuckME#because 1. he wasn't supposed to be at our apartment anymore so i was surprised he was there at ALL#and 2. how are u gonna ever be living RENT FREE with someone and INVITE SOMEONE ELSE OVER TO FUCK IN THEIR PLACE#i could honestly go on but i doubt anyone read this far as it is#this situation has fucked me up#first red flag should've been his name being JOHN
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bunnyb34r · 23 days
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I have the app for our store bc I get my meds through work on my phone and they announce every fucking sale like "$8,000 in SAVINGS!" and show every fucking item and every time I get that push notification I go "you shut your whore mouth and stop telling them ab that" gsgsgdgdg
Then I scour the online ad to make sure I don't have a gazillion sale items on there. Got lucky this time 😏 there's like just baby shit listed and it's two items, I don't even think they're on sale, just like "look what you can buy!" But still shut up stop telling people we have sales 😭 go away
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nomairuins · 1 month
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i just fucking hate having ptsd all of it. so many stupid fucking things send me into fucking hysterics it sucks and i hate it and i dont want itttt anymore i dont want it.
#i literally like. i didnt tell u guys bc it was embarassing#but i had to hype myself up to eat a fucking orange the other day. like i was shaking and crying and i nearly threw up.#bc it fucking reminded me of All that and also bc its one of the only foods i got to eat outside ofm my one meal a day#while i was living there. bc my coworker gave me oranges sometimes#and one time she gave me a whole bag of cuties which was wonderful of her i miss her#but i pretty much like. bc during m-f i had a meal at work#and i could get something from the vending machine if i needed to#but on the weekends i had to either order food (which would always make me insanely nauseous bc of. the money stuff. yk) or just eat#what i had in my room bc i couldnt use the kitchen bc the roommates would be mad at me#and they might kick me out and id be actually fucked. its so crazy looking back that i genuinely the entire time i fucking lived there even#b4 the breakup the entire time i was in terror that theyd evict me. bc i wouldnt have been able to do anything abt it#i mean thats why i didnt like. leave him after he . and stuff. both bc i thought i didnt deserve anything better and bc i was terrified#theyd evict me and i wouldnt have any way to get home. it was terrifying#but ya. so for a couple weeks i rationed myself One orange per day lol. and on weekends that was all i was able to eat rly#idk. i hate ptsd. basicalllyyyy is the gist of ittt. and i keep thinking abt random fucking things they did to me#me when they jokingly tell me to starve myself when i literally have a fucking eating disorder. and when i told The Only Person i knew in#that fucking house abt it he told me i was being dramatic and i was just being greedy and etc. and then later when i got off work today i#saw on their fucking whiteboard in the kitchen i wasnt supposed to use Eat more <3 as one of their goals. while i went to sit in the garage#for the weekend eating a single fucking orange a day. god#idk. ive gotten better with eating i still have the scale but i ws able to go months without using it until the medical call the other week#and i havent used it since but. everytime i think abt all that itmakes me want to go back to it. i cant tho everyone would notice#i do still eat a wholee lot less than i did b4 washington but idk. idont remember if i even ate today i probably should but i dont feel#hungry but i cant even fucking trust that bc i Starved myself for so fucking long im too good at ignoring hunger. and i never was super in#touch with my body but im constantly numb now. idk.#ed ment#a2t#i ws gonna say more but it ws tmi + tag limit anyway. its just insane that my fucking ed wouldnt have happened if it werent for him and it#graduated i wouldnt have been isolatedinever wouldve had an ed. like 50% of my ptsd would be Gone if i just hadnt joined that discord. lol
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mayoiayasep · 2 months
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yatora yaguchi when i fucking get you
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clevervonskelli · 7 months
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I can take them making the Crosby/Landra thing explicit (even when keeping it vague would have been very doable and truer to his own memoir) but him pushing her about what she actually was doing was annoying. The call we'll see next week is fine, but whining about it in a pub instead of just being like "haha pretty sure my badass former-roomate is a spy, crazy times we live in, ammirite?" rubbed me the wrong way.
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silleye · 5 months
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waow... miku expo...........
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