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#IM SO INSANE LIKE WDYM I WROTE FOR HIM AGAIN
kazumist · 2 months
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THE NAME OF LOVE .ᐟ
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✩ — the three times hoshina soshiro dismissed his feelings for you as something that friends do and the one time he realized otherwise.
✩ — request: IVE BEEN WANTING TO REQ U SOMETHING FOR SO LONG NOW I HOPE U DONT MIND !! can i ask for hopeless romantic reader and hoshina soushirou.... the way he... is...... (LOVE PESSIMIST 🫵) I'm a sucker for hoshina falling first or confessing first but it is truly up to you!! i genuinely have no idea where im going with this so pls feel free to change anything to your liking
✩ — includes: hoshina soshiro x gn!reader. fluff. cw: uhm funky pacing bc this is just pure word vom LAWLZ. wc: 3583 (i did not expect for it to be this long i swear). reader works for operations and is considered as second best to okonogi (is also okonogi's assitant). ikaruga and okonogi cameo yipee! hoshina is bad at feelings ™. reblogs and feedback are much appreciated !!
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to love is something you cannot name.
that’s a saying that stitched itself onto your brain because it just makes sense. loving someone has way too much depth, depending on the person who is the one lending out their heart and who they are giving it out to in the first place. it could be named as anything, depicted as anything, or interpreted as anything.
especially for you, who had witnessed, watched, read, and consumed all sorts of media that named love as numerous things. sometimes love is tragic, making two people feel so much just for them to get pulled away from each other when they were so close to running into each other’s arms. sometimes love is mirthful, having two people become the best versions of themselves around the person they love because they feel safe becoming vulnerable with the other. yet sometimes love is bittersweet, accepting the art of letting go as it was for the best—accepting that things weren’t just meant to be but not forgetting the emotions the person made you feel.
well, how were you supposed to know what love really is? a hopeless romantic is hopeless for a reason.
having a day off is quite rare, even for the employees of the operations department. the work was quite demanding, as any job involving the JAKDF was. but you still made time to relax and enjoy your rest from time to time, whether that was rewatching a good old romcom film from the 2000s or reading a new romance novel you decided to pick up.
it was normal for a hopeless romantic to dream. to fantasize. that maybe they could experience an extraordinary love like it is portrayed in films or described in songs. so naturally, as a hopeless romantic yourself, you weren’t any different. you just wanted to experience love—to be loved.
then again, liking someone does count as experiencing romance in a sense. admiring someone with traits the public doesn’t really notice is… rare. but that’s how it always went with you. though you wouldn’t really say that you actually acted upon your feelings, they're usually be gone once that person has stepped out of the current environment you’re in.
that’s how it was before.
vice captain hoshina was a respectable man. he is talented, and he sure as hell knows it. as the ton put it, you and the vice captain had a strange relationship—nobody really knows what to call you two. as the secondary leader of operations and okonogi’s assistant, it was only natural to be in the presence of the vice captain most of the time. but there’s just something different when it comes to how you two treated each other.
from flirtatious remarks and confusing gestures that you aren’t sure if you’re supposed to interpret as romantic, just what were you to the vice captain? you’ve observed long enough that he only does this to you. though you don’t really hate it. in fact, you like it that he’s only like that to you—but you weren’t supposed to like him, you swear! but honestly speaking, how could you not? you had plenty of reasons to like the vice captain in that way. you just pray that no one has really noticed it.
however, okonogi wasn’t stupid. she gets praised for her analytical skills for a reason and you wish she didn’t have to use those skills when it came to your romantic interest in the vice captain of all things. she promised to keep it a secret, though, and keeping secrets is a thing okonogi was really good at (to your surprise).
— — — — — — — — 
the first time hoshina denied his feelings for you was when he overheard some rookies talking about you.
“(l/n) is such a blessing to the third division, don’t you think?” one said as the other hummed in agreement. “i know, right? they’re so nice! did you know that they helped me once? they gave me tips on what i should do to enhance my combat power for my fighting style; it was really helpful too!” the rookie beamed. hoshina had an unsettling feeling churning inside of him as he eavesdropped on the conversation. but he quickly shook it off, thinking that he probably ate something funny earlier.
but why hasn’t he received such treatment from you? you were closer to him than some rookies, right? 
right?
wait, what the hell is wrong with me? hoshina thinks, snapping out of his earlier thoughts. he was not jealous of some rookies. those were just rookies, for christ’s sake! hoshina walks away, only to be greeted by the sight of you and ikaruga talking this time.
“thanks again for the film recommendation the other day, (l/n). i didn’t expect to enjoy it so much—you were completely right! it did suit my preferences,” he excitedly says. hoshina watches silently, observing everything in detail. and one thing he notices is that ikaruga is standing close to you—way too close than he preferred.
“really? i’m glad you liked them, ikaruga. feel free to ask for more film recs when you’re free.” you laughed at his enthusiasm. ikaruga had always been a fun person to converse with, in your opinion. and you two bonded over films! but it was really nothing more than that. “will definitely do!” he replies, giving you a two finger wave as he excuses himself.
he was definitely not jealous. why would he be jealous in the first place? you two were just friends.
and friends don’t get jealous like this.
— — — — — — — — 
the second time was when he was undergoing recovery after the whole fiasco of the tachikawa base raid. everyone was exhausted. it was fortunate that the third division didn’t get any casualties during the incident; the majority of the troops were only injured for the most part. soshiro was counted among the severely injured troops but he doesn’t regret it one bit.
or so he thought.
soshiro wakes up slowly, blinking and squirting his eyes at the sudden brightness of the light above him. he felt a weight on the side of his bed when he tried to get up, as if something (or someone) was pressing down on the blanket. looking down, he wouldn’t mistake your hair for anyone else. he knew it was you with just a glance.
and there you were, sleeping softly on the side of hoshina soshiro’s bed. soshiro takes note of your appearance that he could see right now—which was really just your messy hair. he gets up, making sure that you don’t wake up. it is likely that the operation has not had much sleep up to this point, which is why you ended up sleeping in his hospital room of all places.
he feels bad. a hand slowly reaches out to your head, stroking it ever so gently. if he were to be honest, he was worried for he operations team during the attack. he recalls regularly checking in to see if things were okay on your end, and you kept reassuring him that everyone was unscathed. his other hand reaches out to his phone on his bedside, checking to see if he missed anything. he was unconscious until now, he thinks. and the text from okonogi just confirmed all of his suspicions.
you’re probably still unconscious by the time i sent this, but they’ve been there every day since you got admitted. 
that’s all the message contained. soshiro glances at you again, a soft smile tugging on his lips. he doesn’t get why okonogi felt the need to send him that text, but the thought of you waiting for him to be conscious again made him feel… warm inside. but it all went away as he pulled back his hand from your head as you stirred awake. you raised your head, adjusting yourself to be in a more comfortable position as you rubbed your eyes with your knuckles. 
shock was an understatement when you realized that he was finally awake.
“vice captain! i—sorry, i didn’t mean to sleep on your bed. wait, are you okay? does anything hurt?” he just stared at your eyes, trying to process something. shock was still present in your eyes, and relief was mixed in them too. you noticed him not answering anything you said. worried that he might be suffering from some aftereffects, you asked him again. “uhm… vice captain hoshina?”
he snaps out of it as soon as he hears his name. “sorry, i was just thinking. what were you saying?”
“er… is there something on my face? you’ve been staring at my face the whole time since i woke up…”
hoshina blinks once. twice. then thrice. before he focuses his gaze on something else, looking away from you. you held back a laugh at the sight of red tinting his ears as he apologized for his actions. 
“i’m glad you’re alright, vice captain.”
hoshina freezes. he didn’t expect those words to have a bigger impact on him than they do now. but this is all natural, isn’t it? friends worry about each other. friends wish and hope that the other is okay.
yet why does he feel bitter when he labels this as something that friends—no, snap out of it. he thinks.
“i’m glad you’re alright too.”
— — — — — — — — 
the third time was when you were sent to work to the first division of all places. he was completely against it, of course, but he doesn’t have any concrete reason to actually protest against it. 
it was quite boring to not have you there. he didn’t really have anyone to disturb anymore. and the sudden change in the vice captain’s demeanor doesn’t go unnoticed by the platoon leaders. sure, he still had the same toothy grin on his lips, with his fang peeking out ever so often but deep down, you can’t really point out if it was genuine.
after all, hoshina soshiro was good at concealing his emotions and thoughts.
but then again, okonogi wasn’t stupid. it pains her to be the one who’s stuck between the vice captain and her subordinate. soshiro was the same as the night he didn’t get to neutralize kaiju no. 8 back then. shoulder slumped, arms crossed, a slight pout on his lips, and an expression that clearly stated he was pondering about something—or perhaps someone?
“you miss them, don’t you?” okonogi suddenly asks as she organizes the paperwork in front of her. working with hoshina when it came to paperwork wasn’t really new, except for this time because you would also be present in times like these. “miss who?” he decided to play dumb (or is the right term indenial?)
“please don’t make me spell it out for you, vice captain.” she replied, pushing up her glasses.
hoshina doesn’t reply, zoning out as he thinks about okonogi’s words. well, it wasn’t really false that your sudden absence had changed things in the vice captain’s usual routine. he doesn’t see you making a cup of coffee after he finishes training in the middle of the night. nor does he see you drowning yourself in research at the library when you’re not in the operations room, where soshiro would personally lend you a hand and provide his own insights on whatever you’re researching.
oh. 
oh.
he does miss you.
but that’s just normal, right? friends miss each other. and friends tend to leave sometimes but they will always come back when the time is right. however, the head of operations for the third division didn’t have to be some kind of genius to put two and two together. 
the vice captain has some sort of interest in you as well; he just hasn’t realized it himself.
— — — — — — — — 
the day you returned from the first division was the day everything went back to normal for soshiro.
it was currently a quarter after one in the morning, and he had just finished his training. he ended up going more overtime than usual, but if he hadn't, he probably would’ve missed the open door to the library at this hour. and of course, being the ever so curious man he is, he takes a peek in.
and again, there you were. but this time, you were drowning yourself again in research. your hair was a bit messy, and the eyebags doesn’t go unnoticed by him. yet in spite of that, soshiro still found your appearance to be lovely. maybe it was just the fatigue from his training, or perhaps it’s the thought of you being so determined in your work that sparked such a thought in him.
regardless of what the reason actually was, soshiro found your appearance lovely despite it all.
“you should head to bed soon.” he says, approaching the table you were currently working on. you looked up, surprised to see him awake at this hour. but you put your focus back on your work, not even giving him a second glance—which surprised the vice captain. he reads on whatever you were working on, noticing that they were mostly reports of kaiju no. 9. 
“researching on kaiju no. 9, i see. need a hand?”
“there’s just something off about him and i can’t put my finger on it. also thanks, but no thanks. i can handle this myself, vice captain.”
“it’s almost two in the morning, are you sure about that?”
he didn’t quite catch on to what your reply was, but he was positive that you just declined his offer either way. hoshina decides to pull up the chair beside you and grab the small stack of reports in front of you. he rotates the lamp a bit in his direction, but just enough to leave some light for you to read as well if you needed to.
you sigh at him. “vice captain, you really don’t have to—”
“but i want to. it’s the least i could do.”
truth be told, you really can’t bring yourself to be in the presence of the vice captain now. everything was just confusing. you were aware that the vice captain doesn’t really like paperwork in general (who even likes paperwork in the first place?) but you don’t get why he’s so insistent on helping you every time he finds you here.  
you don’t get why he likes your company so much. you considered yourself to be plain, a bit mundane for someone to actually spend some time with. especially when your interests don’t really spark any others for the most part. 
and while you may be a hopeless romantic, you weren’t foolish. even if you like the vice captain who’s currently making an effort to help you with your work, he’s just way out of your league. he’s too high to reach, and you were sure as hell that he would never actually look at you in that way. not now, not ever.
but why? why does a part of you keep saying that maybe he does? he wouldn’t do all of that if he didn’t actually look at you in that way, right? hope is a dangerous thing for someone who doesn’t know how to stop. for someone like you who refuses to give up on most occasions. it was stupid. foolish. naive.
not now, not ever would hoshina soshiro actually look at you that way.
“vice captain, please get some rest.”
“i could say the same to you.”
god, why is this man so stubborn? is he not tired from all the late night training he does? you thought, slowly getting frustrated. hoshina tells you his observations based on the reports in his hands and shares his hypothesis on the matter. he had some valid points and he’s lending a great hand at the moment. but frustration was just getting the best of you at the moment from your numerous trains of thought.
“the fact that he can adapt so easily is scary in itself. and the recent report of him breaking in the operations room in the first division states that—”
“why are you doing this?” you cut him off.
hoshina stares at you, dumbfounded at your question. he opens his mouth to answer, but no words actually come out of him. he chuckles bitterly in his mind. soshiro would like an answer to that question as well. but then it dawned on him. every flashed across his mind in seconds, and he finally realized it.
yet the result of that still scared him.
he was in love. hoshina soshiro is in love—with you nonetheless. the person he swore was just a friend. it took him quite a while to realize it, always being in denial that it was just normal for friends to act the way you two were. but he was in love. and that scared him. because what is he supposed to do when he finally realizes that you have consumed him? he never wanted this to happen, not in a million years.
but perhaps he was in love with you long before he started tripping along the lines of being friends and something more.
why are you doing this? your question echoed in his head. because i love you, he swallows back down his throat. he can’t say it. there’s no way things would work out. he could die any day and he’d rather not see you miserable because of his death. it would be better if you found someone else—but how ironic. he couldn’t really handle the thought of you being with someone else in the first place.
why are you doing this? your question echoes again. “because i love you.” he finally says, hesitant even. hesitant to know what you’re reaction was going to be. your eyes went wide at the sudden confession, and hoshina was certain that you wouldn’t believe him (well, he couldn’t really believe it either). “you’re kidding me,” you replied.
“i’m not.”
and surely enough, the look on the vice captain’s eyes said it all. he was dead serious. "i... why?” it's ten past two in the fucking morning, and you were too scared to accept that all of this was occurring right now, so you were afraid to ask. you were too scared to just randomly wake up and realize that maybe it was all a dream. too scared to believe that your feelings are being reciprocated.
“because you’re different—different to me, if that makes sense. it’s like you have this effect when it comes to me. food tastes better whenever i share a meal with you; my day just feels more peaceful whenever i get to see you’re doing fine, and i realized that maybe i haven’t actually looked at you like a friend or coworker for as long as i can remember; i was just too stupid to realize it earlier.” he avoids his gaze for a moment before looking at you again.
“i love you. i want you to look at me and love me too. we’ve come too far to turn back. i’m already too deep into you.”
you were speechless. 
he loves you. he loves you. he loves you. it repeated like some sort of chant inside of your head as you processed everything. hoshina soshiro loves you back—who would’ve thought? you hadn’t realized that he was sitting so close to you. the tension was so thick, but you easily cut it down as you started with your response.
“you’re an amazing man, vice captain, and i truly cannot grasp how you could feel such feelings towards me, but i love you too.” you could see hoshina jump in his seat in shock at your confession, but you continued. “i love you in ways you have never been loved, for reasons that you may not have been told, for longer than you think you deserve and with more than you will ever know existed inside of me. yet i can’t help but still wonder… how? why? wait no, why was already answered—”
he chuckles at you. stopping you with your words. “what’s so funny?” you pouted at him. “it’s nothing. i just can’t believe that we’re seriously having this moment at two in the morning.”
“sorry, i think that may have been on my part. i kind of snapped there because i was just so… confused.”
“confused?”
“yeah, confused if we’ve crossed the line between friends or lovers without actually realizing it. crazy, right?”
hoshina moves a bit closer to you, making the distance between the two of you smaller than before. he puts his forehead against yours. “not really, but i look at you, and i just love you, and it terrifies me. it terrifies me what i would do for you. i’m in love but i’m also terrified—that’s what i think is crazy.”
“then let’s be terrified together,” you whispered to him.
a soft laugh leaves his lips this time. “i like the sound of that.” he whispers back.
he loves you.
and you love him back.
that’s all what matters.
love, in general, can make you feel all sorts of things. joy, confusion, anger, fear, and many more. it can also make you do all sorts of things. it can make you do things you never really imagined doing for or with someone in the first place. it tends to be irrational—ridiculous, even. but the thought of doing all of it for the person you care most about? you finally realized that’s simply what love is all about for you.
to love is something you truly cannot name.
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theodoraflowerday · 6 months
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young royals s3e5 episode reaction:
well I really hope the cliffhanger isn't horrifying bc this week is gonna be really fucking long
let's fuckin do this
"tired" and it's just him contending w the fact that erik might have been violently homophobic
i can excuse [rolls down a 6ft long papyrus] but I draw the line at being racist - august, probably
"family" LMFAO sure dumbass
seriously those girls are acting like sara and felice broke up (and I get it, friendship breakups are horrifying but damn)
"are you on something?" MY LITERAL FIRST QUESTION SKFISJFKSJFKDJF
I feel like micke is gonna die. idk.
his own letter? why?
oh. hello ludwig. i forgot what your voice sounded like.
"it's hard for her to show weakness" yeah well so it is for all of us. be a mother. show up for your son.
naaaaaaaaaaa volvete serio ludwig
wdym he was perfect. are you serious. do no adults in this show have the slightest bit of common sense?? you're talking to erik's spare my man. erik's little brother who now has to take on everything erik had to do. be the most fuckin for real rn
of fucking COURSE
"it'll be nice to celebrate you. and to meet simon too" ok that was sweet.
yeah wille being in the choir was starting to feel too weird skfjdkfjd
okay? calm your tits my man? simon hasn't said anything?
WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON????? HE'S LITERALLY DEFENDING ERIK?????????
oooooookay kristina jr.
ohhhh it was sara's locker. ok.
oh micke is dead isn't he
FELICE DOING WILLE'S NAILS AAAAAA
HE'S PAINTING THEM PURPLE SOULMATISM
also is this the writers acknowledging the nonbinary wille headcanons bc.......
I can't believe wille likes doing his nails. that's so fuckin nonbinary of him.
god I wish micke had been dead. that is SO much worse.
pls don't get into a car crash sara
linda honey no. it doesn't fit him perfectly it's goddamn huge on him.
love shouldn't be this hard I agree linda
oh fuck me
oh her little face sara no
oh sara is breaking my goddamn heart
WILLE'S PURPLE NAILS
wilhelm, why do you have nail polish remover in your room
MI WILLE I'M GONNA FUCKING BLOW MY BRAINS OUT
omg malin was willing to be bribed. back to fanon malin we go (after the shit show that was season 2)
WHY IS HE WEARING THE PYJAMA PANTS AGAIN SIMON
okay this is killing me inside. this is too much.
BECAUSE THERE'S A RISK OF POISONING SJFKDJFKJFDKFJDKFKFKFKDLRK
simon's FACE im
SHE CURTSIED @ SIMON
I know he must have felt disgusting sjfkdjfk
after pretty much 3 years of a polar opposite fanon interpretation I cannot *believe* I'm witnessing kristina and ludwig being genuinely happy about meeting simon. this is so insane
august are you staring at sara's boobs
oh a rolex
OH IS IT BECAUSE OF ERIK
IT IS BECAUSE OF ERIK OG FUCKKKKK
I missed sara and felice I'm ngl. I love my tiny baby girls
oh kristina is about to throw up isn't she lmfao
ludwig is being weirdly nice. this is so strange.
ludwig and simon chatting away while kristina is about to choke and die
hold on. IS kristina gonna die?
even during wille's birthday they can't stop yapping about erik. my god do royals genuinely only care about their firstborn? god
NOT DILF HUNTER SJROSUFOSIDOD
class bad boy slfjdlgj I think they had to have done that on purpose. I mean vincent didn't wanna give him the satisfaction of giving him another award. I can assure you.
august is such a *sad* character oh my god
I WISH I HAD DONE THINGS DIFFERENTLY WITH YOU NAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWW
oh of course she kissed him.
WHAT A SNITCH WTF
im
"please don't leave me alone with your parents like that again" honestly wille they could've eaten him alive
my god wilhelm you're being SO NASTY
OH HE'S GOING OFFF
oh ldkgldjgldjfldjffl
I can ASSURE YOU during my s2 liveblogging at one point I basically wrote "[points at ludwig] AND YOU" bc i was so fucking done with his bullshit skrjdlrkdlrkld
to hear wille going AND *YOU* is fucking sending me help
IT ISN'T EASY TO BE BOTH YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR BOSS OH FUCK OFF KRISTINA
I NOTICED BECAUSE YOU'RE SO USELESS AT BOTH HOLY FUCKING SWEET JESUS CHRIST
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD
me rn:
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my god this is the most cathartic shit I've seen in my life
OH AND SIMON IS WATCHING THE WHOLE THING
god
I knew the cliffhanger was gonna be that
but I didn't expect them to cry like that nor did I expect ME to cry like that
bro I'm sobbing I can't wait another week
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forlix · 9 months
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talking ab fallen star cos that fic consumed me when i first read it and consumed me again when i reread it earlier 🤚
firstly the way he kept his promise to bring mc to the airport it really broke me. it's so melancholic like there have been broken promises before but hyunjin wouldn't dare end their relationship on another one? you can still feel the love he has for t hemin the way he tiredly made his way to drive to their house and to the airport after he came back from his own long flight it honestly makes me insane.
i love how in the car there's this like faint and twisted idea of hope lingering between them. some part of them still longs for the other and it's right there they could just grab the very thing they yearn for but it's incomplete. it's not the same. honestly when mc mutters "idiot" it really made me think like are they calling hyunjin an idiot? or themselves an idiot? and ac i feel like they meant both of them are idiots for allowing themselves to end up in this awkward but necessary situation.
there are some unresolved feelings and unanswered questions while they sit in silence on the way to the airport, but the airport scene™️ gives them both the closure they need. they're not getting back together, no matter how much one might like, but the tension in the car shows a sliver of hope that they would and i feel like it really emanates in your writing and makes me as a reader reader hope for a happier ending as well. also the shaky "fuck" describes my feelings as i read this as well thanks btw 🥲
and this is all from my own mind but i imagine reader saw a photo or maybe got an invitation to hyun's wedding and they realize he's okay and it makes them reflect on themselves and with a heavy heart they realize theyre okay too. the worst part is there's no definitive point where they felt or "became" okay, because like you said, time is the best medicine and gradually mc just healed. but knowing that hyun is okay and has moved on kind of popped a bubble of reserved feelings and its not necessarily sad its just kind of disheartening or numbing?
idk how i started yapping sm lol i read wayyyy into this HAHAHA. i chose to analyze this instead of study for my finals ☝️🤓 but in conclusion, xian i love falling star and its yet another product of ur mindblowing sexy brain i love you so much bby and i js wanna say im so proud of you <3
when i tell u i saw this while studying (also for my finals) and it had my jaw on the floor my head in the clouds i couldn't focus for the LIFE of me afterwards. WDYM YOU WROTE ME AN ESSAY OF UR THOUGHTS ON MY WRITING? IS IT MY BIRTHDAY?? i love you so fucking much omg. thank u for sending this in my lovely star :') putting my VERY ramble-y response under the cut
"there have been broken promises before but hyunjin wouldn't dare end their relationship on another one" is soooo poignantly put and so so so correct. honestly him remembering the day and time of the flight was supposed to be a show of pettiness at first, like "you called me unreliable so here i am bitch" lmfaooo but let's be real you're right on the money with his real intentions. he was literally counting down the days until he had an excuse to see mc again.. he was also worried about the flight being so early and wanted to ensure their safety... AGGHHH not me hurting myself thinking ab this couple 😭
"when mc mutters "idiot" it really made me think like are they calling hyunjin an idiot? or themselves an idiot?" I LOVEEEE LOVE LOVE THIS? god u are a genius i adore you. i totally see this being the case. if i may add, maybe mc thinks they're an idiot because they reciprocate hyunjin's yearning even after everything that's transpired. like inward frustration that there are still feelings there? yeah. ur a genius.
about the slivers of hope after the car scene, i apologize for the lack of a happy ending love </3 the fic was definitely challenging (and saddening) but also refreshing to write. i really wanted to explore a couple that is well and truly doomed bc some of the relationships in our lives are doomed, yaknow? and you can recognize that and still have a lot of love for the person at the same time bc human beings are fucking complicated like that. but please consider this my official justification for posting something so depressing
"and this is all from my own mind but i imagine reader saw a photo or maybe got an invitation to hyun's wedding and they realize he's okay and it makes them reflect on themselves and with a heavy heart they realize theyre okay too." FUCKKKK NOT THE WEDDING PICTURE. this just made me frown irl. if i may add.....again..... what if they physically run into each other and that's how mc knows? at the start of the convo mc kinda feels the familiar stirrings again but it's more out of habit than anything. they talk for a bit and it's really pleasant and mc notices he has a ring on his finger and they realize they feel ✨ nothing ✨ about it anymore. but there's just an inkling of remorse remaining about the whole situation. like a passing thought of "maybe in a different universe we would've made things work"....haha.....fuck. BUT mc is happy hyunjin's happy, and mc is happy to have recovered, and life goes on
as for ur entire last paragraph i might actually cry, i'm so glad you love the fic and i truly do appreciate u taking the time to look into my fic this closely so so so much :'( you keep me going, I MEAN IT
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liil-ee · 1 year
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I GENUINELY WISH I NEVER DECIDED TO CATCH UP ON THIS SERIES BECAUSE WHAT THE ACTUAL HECK DID I JUST READ AJSJSIXJEJK
⚠️Chainsaw Man Manga Spoiler warning⚠️
okay so the other day I got volume 9 of csm, little did I know, that’s where all the drama begins cause what in the worldddd
(I was planning on reading volumes 1-11 via physical volumes but I couldn’t wait to buy volume 10 so I decided to read it online but I ended up catching up on the entire series ?? 🙂🐸)
So here is my genuine reaction to chapters 70ish thru the current chapters
ok first of all, the character development Denji AND Power have gone through is insane. I didn’t think they could get this close, which genuinely breaks my heart that they didn’t have this for long 💔💔
They both matured for sure, there’s no denying it.
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I also wanted to point out the bath scene, I haven’t really seen anyone talking about it enough, but the fact that Denji didn’t fall for selfish desires and actually helped Power bathe instead of making the situation awkward, was so sweet omg 🥺🥺
again, here we can see the difference in how he has matured, before he wanted women for his own desires but now he starts to realize that he is able to have platonic relationships with women like Power
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OKAY BUT THIS WAS JUST CRUEL. IM GOING TO START BAWLING WHEN THIS GETS ANIMATED LIKE WTH
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FUTURE DEVIL DID 👏NOT👏STUTTER👏 THIS WAS THE WORST POSSIBLE DEATH OMG.
I didn’t think he would die THAT quickly, this chapter literally crept up on me SO FAST
okay, and I had also gotten spoiled on this scene too but I didn’t know the context of it but now I’m sobbing 😭
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Denji and Power’s relationship is literally so heartbreaking wth 💔💔 and the fact that Denji was already mourning Aki’s death made this 10x worse
Okay but this page HIT FR
(Ngl makima’s strategy was actually so smart)
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ok and then this made me laugh fr I was crying like WHAT IS THIS 😭😭
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Kobeni’s short return was so funny for no reason 💀💀 Like my girl is TIRED of dealing with devils, give her a break Fr 😭👏
BUT THIS HAD ME THINKING ALL. DAY. WHY IS NOBODY TALKING ABT THIS???
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when I saw this page ⬇️ I was like NO FREAKING WAY… and I turned out to be right 😭😭
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BIGGEST PLOT TWIST OF THE YEAR FR 😭
I literally had no idea she died, I guess I wasn’t spoiled too much for this series but yea I was kinda laughing at this tbh like WDYM HE CONSUMED HER ??
also I had no idea that this was all one big arc…
When it said “part 1” I was lowkey shocked
ok and here’s where I start talking about the second arc/current arc
Okay, for starters this arc is honestly a lot more interesting than the first one, (I love the characters in the first arc more tho) I literally love the whole idea behind all the tension between Asa and Denji, Asa is a little confusedwhen it comes to her feelings and is convinced that she doesn’t have any feelings for Denji OR Chainsaw Man but which is honestly really funny considering Denji’s personality. And Denji is just as confused as she is. 💀💀
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Also I’m loving the whole idea of the alter ego dynamic where Asa’s main obstacle is the War Devil, something she is constantly battling, and is the complete opposite of, Fujimoto wrote her well imo
Also Denji being straight up blunt abt his desires was so funny to me, he is the total opposite of Asa who for the life of her (literally) cannot be selfish
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I mean… at least he’s being honest BUT I think I know where this is going…
From the beginning, Denji has never truly understood love, all the girls he “fell for” were just using him, and he only wanted them for their looks, bodies, etc. but now when we bring Asa into the picture, I think she’s definitely going to change him for sure, just like Power and Aki did. I think they’re definitely going to be end game, with Asa he doesn’t really have feelings for her *yet* but I’m sure he will catch on and realize that there’s more to women than just their looks, and Asa will humble him. I cannot wait for this duo to get more and more chaotic 💀💀 I’m living for them fs ❤️
🗣️🗣️SHOUTOUT TO MY GIRL NAYUTA, ABSOLUTE ICONIC QUEEN ❤️❤️
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ok and this was literally so funny for no reason
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he was so real for this 🤭🤭
I cant believe Asa wouldn’t let him see the penguins 🙄🙄 Smh
Ok but after all this I can finally understand why Csm fans are bawling their eyes out! Thank you for taking me on this experience with you!! 😍😍 😭
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trickarrows-bishop · 1 year
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EPISODE SIX OF HSMTMTS REACTION LIVE BLOGGED BY ME BECAUSE THE LAST ONE WAS FUNNY TO DO AND I WANNA DO IT AGAIN
again, get ready for this to be iNSANE xoxo
woah maddox you cant just appear on my screen and expect me to be ok like HOLD ON NOW-
no one told rina oh ur JOKING-
this'll be like. the worst. especially for ricky oh fuck.
miss jenn's mother's problematic twitter account??? did you mean miss jenn's mother's problematic X account ???
"bigger things" GIRL. miss jenn. no one. and i mean. NO ONE. puts on a show like you queen. stfu (respectfully ily)
"I WAS PLACING A VERY CONFUSING PHONE CALL" so true. i too am confused tbh
OH WAIT MADDOX IS RIGHT THERE WHAT
wait why wasn't jet there. huh.
MADDOX U INTERESTED BAE???
maddox stop hiding it and go kiss her i am TIRED.
BENJAMIN??? love that for him fr
"hahahah... oh u weren't kidding D:" i LOVE MADDOX TOO MUCH SHE BETTER NOT FUCK ASH OVER FFS
MISS JENN WE ARE NOT EXITTING SORRY WE HAVE TWO MORE EPISODES AND THIS ONE SOZ NOT HAPPENING BABES WE GOT A SHOW TO PUT ON XOXO
KOURT THAT FIT GDAMN
anyways she kinda spoke facts. although. im still scared of spiders. nothing can get rid of that fear
all the kourt x ashlyn shippers are about to make this scene their personality and i understand why tbh
FUCK ASH DIDN'T HAVE FRIENDS ??? IM SO IN LOVE WITH THIS SHOW WDYM ASH DIDN'T HAVE FRIENDS LOOK AT HER SHE'S LIKE. PERFRECT. FUCK
maddox stop being gay and just KISS ashlyn im so OVER this yearning (i literally do this.)
BENJAMIN !!UR STILL HERE!!! DONT U FKING DARE LEAVE ILY
BRO FR LOOKING LIKE AN EMOJI WAIT A MINUTE
go on benjamin SHOW EMOTIONS !!!
"i am jennifer !! you are?" "unsettled." i LOVE HIM LIKE A SON
nah that boyband faze for jet makes sense tbh like i can see that
AAWWWWWW BENJAMIN :(
can we pls get a new plot because we did in fact save the musical in season one within an episode. like. i KNOW i can probably skip this episode and not miss much
ALL OF THESE FLASHBACKS TO EPISODE ONE JESUS CHRIST AND UR NOT SHOWING NINI LOL I AM HURT
fuck homophobia AND ILYSM MISS JENN <3 I LOVE HER FUCK
not the mention of CATS BOY THAT AINT A GOOD MUSICAL WHY WE LYIN
SEB ????
FUCKING HELL CARLOS
"give him a chance carlos" MOTHER FR
now why are the whole ass drama class on this what the fuck LMAO
NATALIE RETURN OH MY GOD IM SHAKING LMFAO
this is so out of character like bro no ?? that's not making sense
NORTH HIGH WHAT NO
HE'S PLAYING THE **** SONG CARLOS COME ON
so real of richard bowen he said GAY RIGHTS !!!
SEBLOS GETTING BACK TOGETHER WOHOOOOO
GAYS WIN FR
the longest lasting relationship being seblos is so SO funny to me
YES GO TO HIM CARLOS
THANK GOD FOR THE GAYS
cant wait to cry to this song jesus christ
stop they're so in LOVE I CANT DO THIS
GAYS WON GAYS WON GAYS WON GAY RIGHTS GAY RIGHTS GAY RIGHTS SEBLOS SEBLOS SEBLOS SEBLOS
"us?" FUCK THIS IM SO FSKDAJGHFAKJSDGHFKDAS
now why am i not seeing seblos kiss HUH
"oh so she thinks im a leader?" GIRL STOP IT LMAO
rina scene before they even canonically met alr ???
NINI MENTION !!!!!!!!!!!!
"uncle buck?!" reaL REAL I LOVE THAT MOVIE HE NEARLY DRILLED INTO A GUYS HEAD
"good luck skater boy" hmmmmmmmmmmmm anyways
okay now give me a maddox flashblack
FR IT IS MURDER SHE WROTE SO REAL ???? I LOVE MURDER SHE WROTE !! (im an old person at heart)
GIVE ME MISS JENN BACKSTORY
MISS JENN BACKSTORY WOHOOOO
no WAY ALISON ???
SHE RECOGNISED HER HOLY FUCK WHOAAAAA
not the story of the girl at frozen puking again LMAO
"you should do it" DON'T TELL ME IT WAS ALISON WHO DID IT
"i always thought mrs darbus deserved a power ballad" REAL I LOVE HER
no NO NO GIFTS ??? UR NOT ACTUALLY LEAVING
QUEEN?
NO ??? WHAT THE FUCK
MISS JENN TF? NO GIRLIE.
NO
NOT THIS GOOD THING WE HAVE TWO EPISODES LEFT >:(
"i just got here tho :(" maddox ur so funny but NOT NOW
JET DONT BE AN ASS??
how r we gonna move on from this cuz i-
why am i not crying but was crying over the caswen scenes ffs
OH NOW A SONG ???
emmy ???
EMMY !!!!
my daughter fr
11 mins left oh maybe i'll watch it all tonight HEHEHEH
come ONNNNNN EMMY IS SLAYING AGAIN
THIS IS ALSO WHERE I FIND OUT THATS NOT HOW U SPELL HER NAME
MADDOX AND ASH IN THE SAME FRAME IM DELULU
maddox dont look at ash like that cuz ill run w it.
SHE SUNG AT EAST HIGH WOOOOOOOOO
WHAT THE- ALISON READ?
WHA- UHM- BRO-
maddox IS the stage management
SHE WAS ABOUT TO SAY ILY ??// KFHS
WAIT MAYBE I CAN BE A RINA
I DIDNT THINK WE'D GET TO THE ILY FOR RINA SO
HE GOT IN WHOA LETS GO RICHARD
NO SHES ABT TO MOVE OR SOMETHIN I STG NO
ALR THAT EPISODE WENT QUICKER??? IDK MAYBE I JUST WASNT SHOUTING ABT MADLYN AS MUCH LMAO. conclusion:
show's still gay? YUPPERS seblos? YUPPERS maddlyn? ...hopefully yuppers???
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I LOVE U ARI. 🌖🌖 ALL YOUR HEADCANONS R SO CRAZY ACCURATE TO SUGURU AND I CAN SEE THEM ALL...!!! i love the way you tied all of his professions to key aspects of his character and his pure heart (it's pure to me. 😒)
if you are crazy about doctor geto you NEED TO SEE THIS https://x.com/lespretzo/status/1726479240571617365?s=46
this artist draws him so beautiful and tender and softly, i hope you like their art as much as i do (the only suguru ever). when i found this art last weekend i kept praying for doctor geto to come save me and treat my ailments and then i ended up breaking my spine and staying in the er... what a bad omen
ur mind with lawyer sugu... oh dear... oh lord.. the briefcase and the slicked back hair oh my legs are divor
ALSO ANGRY/STRESSED OUT GETO IS SO HWHHFKEHFJRJFJJEKDNMGMGNHHH but wish only happiness on him... he deserves peace after the jjk universe.. i have some reservations about him being lawyer just because my mom is one too, and i've seen how stressful it is and how aggressive people get but chef's kiss nontheless
wow your response hit every part of me... the medical and barista... omfg and teacher suguru is so real, idk if you've read this? one fic about (elementary school) teacher suguru who trips over a bunch of blocks when he first sees you because he's completely taken away by your beauty, oh my heart... i have such a soft spot for teachers too because they've just been very dear to my life and ugh. these headcanons broken my heart and strung every piece back together in the same breath IM SORRY FOR BEING DRAMATIC but your mind is insane
as for my own thoughts i don't have too many :') that's why i asked u! because i was sure that you would deliver. i asked my friends about it and we were all kinda lost and i'm happy i found your blog since we both love suguru and we can talk about him! yipee
and the hurt comfort fic coming soon WOOISHIGHIOOOOOOOO *screaming in hurt*
WAHHHHH I’M SO GLAD I HAVE YOUR APPROVAL 🌖 ANON…… 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
ty for asking such a fun question!! AND YES he DOES have a pure heart 😔😔😔 he’s just trying his best to do good!!! he’s a sweetie!!!!
i’ve seen that doctor geto art before hehe it’s just. SO good. i love the art style sm!! and you’re so real anon i too need suguru geto to tuck me into bed and treat me during a bout of illness </3 WDYM YOU BROKE YOUR SPINE THOUGH 😭😭 PJDKDBBD……. pls take care of yourself…. don’t trip over a flight of stars and die ok……… doctor!sugu will be so disappointed 😔😔
AND LAWYER!SUGU….. yeahh i also think it’d be soso stressful for him 😭 i can picture him having a higuruma-esque breakdown eventually…. because he wants to help people so badly but sometimes he just Can’t and that drives him nuts. poor bby….
AS FOR TEACHER!SUGU…….. my beloved mutual alexis wrote that elementary school fic and i love it SO much he’s so cute and pathetic in it <333 my absolute beloved <3333 teacher!geto is such a dork. i adore him. i have a big soft spot for teachers too!! :(( and sugu would be so perfect. 100% views all his students as his kids… he tries not to but like. he can’t help but grow so fond of them. may or may not get teary eyed when they graduate (they tease him for it relentlessly while sobbing their eyes out LMAO)
BUT YES THANK YOU AGAIN feel free to come to me w sugu questions whenever you’d like!! :3 i’ll try my best to assist….. AND . i’m so happy you’re hyped for the hurt/comfort fic !!!! i’ll try my best to feed sugu nation well!!!!!!
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