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dream number one, December 24th 2018
wow. first dream! welcome, welcome :) please make yourself comfortable. Now to all you readers out there: young, old, seasoned, virgin, i must confess i have terrible dream retention, but hopefully this webpage will strengthen such skills. for now though I shall do my best, henceforth!
picture if you will, your childhood self at your local Museum of Science and Industry. it’s 2005, raining outside, you’ve just eaten a corn dog at the $$ concession kiosk, and now you’re breathing down the face of an animatronic dinosaur a the Dinosaurs Alive! exhibition.
(thanks getty images) their skin taught and airbrushed. they move with a sharp exactness that inadvertently shakes them every time they open their mouth to “bark.” Elaborate studio lighting and replica flora and fauna surrounding the dinosaurs punctuate (haha) (dumb adjective in this context but sue me (please)) the otherwise night-black room (save of course the bourgeois studio lighting) this isn’t the dream, this is just some context :) :’) ;)
so you have the image in your head of the madness of Dinosaurs Alive! now put that exhibition into a once high-end, but now almost defunct American shopping mall. now slap an Audi dealership on top of it. my dream begins with an experimental ad campaign for Audi by the fellows who did Dinosaurs Alive! The mall has closed, but for reasons unknown i am sitting on the black carpet of the dealership looking onward at the show; a slick, hot silver car sits proudly on a rotating stage in the center of the room, bracing me with the energy of a bulldog. fake palm trees, birds of paradise, and other tropical plants bow inward toward the car, symmetrically placed on each side of the room. a large television screen dances with a futuristic watery animation of the Audi Logo on the back wall of the dealership. i am very excited to be there (again for reasons unknown, but there is a tepid sexual atmosphere that i’m sure has something to do with it). the room is quite dark. a female voice says something like “THE HORSE, MANS FIRST CAR, ORIGINATED FROM A SPECIES OF REPTILE 3 MILLION YEARS AGO.” A fake lizard, rigged with robotic movements (sort of a la West World) is spot-lighted, suspended from the ceiling as the car on the rotating stage below is dimmed. the voice continues: “IT’S BIOLOGY TODAY IS INVALUABLE.” next to the car, a 3D printed skeleton of something i can only describe as half sea-shell, half horse skeleton, half lizard skeleton is lit up beautifully as the voice talks about the math behind this structure, and how it is the very skeleton of this new Audi car prototype! The television displays a rapid fire slideshow of the evolution of horse, and then horse into car. The fake plants in the room shake with the voice as if they are cheering at such wondrous innovations. all of it reeks of that “the future is NOW” intelligent robot singularity shtick. Once it’s over, a gorgeous man in a tight fitting suit walks out from behind the television screen and applauds the advertisement so far. he is the man i can get something from, apparently. but what is it?
I quickly find out he lives in the back of the dealership, in a cocaine-money tapestry bed with a security television installed into the wall behind it, and surround sound speakers, which, i swear to god, are playing an ORIGINAL Owl City song that my raw brain composed on its own. I am telling you guys, the exact musical stylings of Owl City. of course i can’t remember it in my waking life :( anyway, the man boasts this is the rare unreleased track. we are laying in bed together, his room illuminated with the same studio lights as the dealership. his body is huge and his abdominal muscles descend peacefully like a rice terrace:
he wears nothing but a gold chain necklace, as do i except i am wearing a dog collar (nice). i curl into him, he scratches my head, i think backwards into our night of wild sex we just did. i remember it was that 100% kind of sex that dissolves all yearning for sedation because look its actually happening, and you can just sit back and be beautiful and get fucked while being beautiful (rare, i’m so sure). he has to leave and go to car work though, but don’t worry because i can live here with him for a few days in the Audi dealership because we really need to fuck out whatever issue we’re trying to understand within eachother-- let me be clear, it totally wasn’t love, but more like an urgent need between two bodies that we had no other choice than to comply with.
later in the dream we are studying (oh brother) for finals (fuck) and he sits with me in a group of my stock-photo student friends, on the floor of the audi store that has a built in cafe! dream architecture can be so ambitious! he is wearing a polo shirt and i am wearing something farm-esque if i do recall, as per his request and because i didn’t have many clothes options at the car store. so i remember being in some sort of “farm girl” get up, doing, and here’s the kicker, computer science homework. He runs in all “sorry i’m late” and me and my computer science friends goad him on his tardiness. another interesting detail of this scene is that we all have incredibly internet-heavy senses of humor-- a lot of Rick & Morty quotes, a lot of phrases from the reddit/4chan lexicon, a lot of old memes. but even in this parallel world, our sexual tension overrides everything else, and I flash back to him holding my face into the pillows, just trying to suffocate me a little bit, and i see through the bed into a glowing pond at the bottom of a cave. It’s just so beautiful. He pulls me back into the present moment and i go into fetal position and put his fingers in my mouth and then he gets all calm and soothing and i am like “yes yes yes” except i am shaking, can’t/don’t want to talk because he’s done all these elaborate things with my body at that point. Lying all the way naked, oh look at that word, wouldn’t that be a funny word to use right now... hmm no not that one, ha ha ha, you know that post-sex dissociation/bliss. Then BAM in the blink of an eye I am back with the friends at the study circle, and low and behold, as if a direct gift from my brain to me, kyla, the original Owl City song plays again! it’s so real! It’s so complete! “I have to record this!” i say, but alas i am sans recording device (as is always the case in dreams), and the song slips into the ether of my subconscious once more.
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Welcome//Bienvennue//hi
my name is kyla and i just watched Julie and Julia with my parents 45 minutes ago which ignited me to start this “dream blog,” because my dreams are (i’m sorry to say) (so sorry) absolutely bonkers, and maybe putting them out into the www.com can help expedite world peace. I understand i am probably the five billionth person to do a virtual dream journal, so sue me (please) (i love the navigating the law). i have some sex dreams
#dream journal#blog post number one#am i thirty years of age?#julie and julia#iphone#sometimes i tag#instagram#or#free stuff#to get more traction#on my posts#because its otherwise very desolate
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