#IM OK THAT TIS NOT A QUESTION
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crowleys-bentley-and-plants · 8 months ago
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The Unforgiven III by Metallica should not hit so hard wtf
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pepprs · 2 years ago
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idk how to reconcile my new self with my old self. also i fucking hate waiting. GRAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
#delete later#im getting a taste of my own medicine bc when im overwhelmed depressed etc i don’t even open emails or dms or whatever and then ifeel guilty#and let them build up and run away from them and literally do not reply for years. but ive been waiting for like 5 different but related#replies for 3ish days at this point and im soooooo impatient omg i want to bash my head into the wall.. and afaik no one i messaged has#opened the message despite being active online elsewhere which is EXACTLY what i do so i have no right to complain at all. but still. omggg#i just have a simple question (me and the ps5 voice) reply to my message boy#purrs#also.. ok yeah im gonna be honest about it even if there are consequences lol. idk why im on such a mission to get back all my old#characters but if i don’t i can and will go crazy. i don’t even do that kind of thing anymore and d*viantart is an irreversibly warped#landscape due in part to capitalism and in part to own mistakes and selfish actions. and i truly feel like my tumblr mutuals are the only#ones who understand me and feel safe and cozy on here. but i miss my old internet home. and i really miss my old internet friends and seeing#all the jokes we had and how we were all like interconnected w the same adopt groups and stuff and now we don’t even talk… it makes me so#sad and i feel weird messaging them just for the purpose of asking if they can give me back characters i gave them 4 years ago like a) you j#just don’t do that kind of thing i don’t think but b) it feels so transactional and would make the part of saying hey our friendship was#important to me when i was a teenager and even though we don’t talk anymore i think of you fondly and wish you well. like lollllll. and i#feel cringe even tracking them down / messaging them bc we are all jn our 20s now… embarrassing. but i am so mad at myself for letting those#friendships wither (not that i have the spoons to sustain them these days anyway but still) and for not keeping bettr track of my characters#when i sold them and for giving them up in the first place and for letting my old internet life just fall apart due to neglect bc it puts me#in a bind to try to piece it together again no matter how i try it and i shouldn’t try anyway. but i am so tempted to rn. lol#* itd make saying stuff abt appreciating friendship weird bc there’s a transaction tied in (source: i did this and feel weird and bad)#like the way i want to SCREAM seeing that dA ate all of the journals i made when i was a 14 year old and turned them into glitched polls. th#the way the wayback machine has terrible unreliable records of everything and i can never get some stuff back / track some stuff down. pain#anyways it’s stupid bc i feel cozy and listened to and as connected as i have the energy to be to all of u guys so why am i doing this. but#i miss the dA stuff too and i wish it wasn’t cringe and i wish i could have everything that’s ever been part of me all in one place. lol#also this doesn’t even take into account my poetry community on dA on my other account who i also felt so safe and cozy with and i abandoned#that too and lost touch with basically everyone even though we all knew each others deepest secrets for years.. the heartsickness of it all#anyways mutuals who knew me on deviantart i am clutching both your hands with impassioned urgency and kissing u on the cheeks. that’s all
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nomairuins · 1 month ago
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i love a clone i rly do. itis not a coincidence that 2 of my most notable recent media interests were clone related
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slashersweethearts · 2 months ago
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if i had a nickel for every time i had a 5cream oc who was an absolutely 100% fruity girl who kept hitting on white boy wes w ZERO intention of actually following through on anything i’d have TWO nickels. which isn’t a lot but its weird that its happened twice right.
#so sorry to that young man#in YVIES defense wes doesnt take her flirting seriously#esp bc that girl hits on her male friends like theyre chicks shes tryna top. just for a laff x#either that or occasionally the same borderline harassment flirting she hits everyone else (but mindy) with 😭#but yeah no yvie hits on basically everybody#he do not want her and he knows she dont want him either 😭#i mean. i do think she Would. maybe once. out of pity. but shed have to be faded as hell and also shed never talk to him again after 😭#shed feel so bad 😭#tho its not like yvies into dudes in general. but she normally ghosts her hookups so#she can hook up w dudes she dont care abt! but she loves wes as a Lifelong Buddy so shes not doing that!#now i cant make any excuses for melina like ol girl was just lying to him 😭#i mean they only spent three months together and she was his first ever girlfriend#and she had that ‘ur the first guy ive ever dated so im kinda nervous n wanna take it slow 🥺’ locked and LOADED#small mercies bc i mean. she did at least let him get to second base#granted. she was thinking abt amber whenever she had to do sm as kiss him. she was white knuckling her way thru like#letting him feel her up every once in a while. also bc she knew he had zero other experience so that prolly was good as hell for him 😭#but she is kinda lucky that the massacre happened when it did bc otherwise what was she gon do#like if the months dragged on w/o amber taking her back. shed have to KEEP putting anything further off#which i mean not like wes was pushy. that poor sweet boy 😭 but i mean smth was gonna seem Sus EVENTUALLY#but not if he is not alive to question it 🫶🏽 sorry man 😔#at least he aint go without knowing what it felt like to grab a ti-#ok thats foul IM SORRY#ceci speaks#— slasherverse posting.#— ♡ 𝘤𝘶𝘱𝘪𝘥'𝘴 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢 𝘩𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘥𝘦! // melina bates.#— ♡ 𝘭𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵‚ 𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘺 (𝘪 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘴𝘵) // yvie romero.
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jjcocker · 4 months ago
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im so mad rughtnow Im. wait lemme ramble
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dxsertrot · 10 months ago
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The good thing about pain is that it always dulls over time but the shitty thing about it is you can still always feel it peering back at you in the moments you finally feel peace
#i try to tell myself its not goung to get to me anymore the way it used to#and i feel closer to that than i ever did before#i have ensured that im surrounded by friends and people who love me or enjoy my company#my best friend is moving jn with me this month for a few months#and im going to have fun and feel the need to have you around become less and less#but i cant pretend that part of the reason i randomly burst into tears yesterday wasnt because of you#and i cant deny the panes of sadness that hit me at random times#but i can do this#fuck it i am doing it already#but it hurts and it sucks and i dread what comes next#i dread hearing that youve found somebody and the awful question of “what do you want to do?”#because i cant say what i want to do. it isnt feasible and it isnt right#i just have to say what i need to do. what the right thing is#at least i can say that after months of this shit that my self worth isnt tied to you anymore#that i understand what i have to offer is significant and valuable and desirable and i need to invest those attributes into someone who#wants it#i just reallg wanted that to be you but its not and thats ok#my feelings for you have been waning ever since our convo a month ago#but that doesnt mean theres no residuals#that doesn't mean im going to be able to accept and watching you with someone else#even as a friend it sucks to see my significance to you dwindle#but its fine its okay. i have other people to invest my time and energy into#and someday i will find someone who feels for me the way i have felt for you
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butchfaith · 2 months ago
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ok we've been discussing this in our archaeology groupchat and i'm curious
there's no right or wrong answer and obviously this is a very culturally sensitive question- the history (and present state) of displaying human remains is closely tied up with colonialism and (dis)respect for religious and cultural practices, which is why i'm really curious about how many people WOULD be ok with their body being displayed- and why/why not- so if u wanna expand on your answer in the tags please do!!
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thestrongestjewel · 2 months ago
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The Clip post (the crink fanchild)
OK SOO if u follow me on instagram u probably know of this stupid creature I created:
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this is clip! and as the little ref you're seeing there implies yes this is in fact a crink fankid because im cringe like that-
so, you might be wondering why did I create the creature? well thats a good question, it ties up with a comic I already posted here actually (this one) . In the universe in which Clip is born cross moves in with Ink in the doodlesphere after the events of underverse and they (mostly by accident) created clip
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after a while the rate at which creators made aus started to slow down, putting ink in an artblock that let him pretty sad :( cross only wanted to help, and so he decided he wanted to help ink by creating something of their own! which ended up in- well- them co-parenting a child together lol
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they have no idea of what they're doing but they're happy regardless, mind you they're not even dating by this point they just happen to live together and have a child- no romantic feelings whatsoever I promise guys I promise-
anyway, some facts about clip! (most of these are taken from a Q&A I did about him on instagram):
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He's 7 years old in universe, just a small baby! pretty smart and self aware for his age though. he's also pretty small and likes climbing on things like a little bug
like ink, he can eat paint, his favorite flavour is lavender! cross tries to keep him in a somewhat normal diet, but its hard because clip does not like to eat actual food, he really likes chocolate mint icecream though.
his favorite parent is ink, he thinks cross is "too lame" and "booring" while ink is more fun and teaches him how to paint.
of course that's just him being a kid, he loves both of his parents very much! he's very confused about their relationship though
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(it is in fact very embarrassing clip)
and that's pretty much all I have about them for now- I dont plan on doing any big comics/stories involving them, its not really my main interest I just really liked the concept
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If u wanna make fanart of clip or include him in a comic feel free to :D
anyway back to taking a break from drawing I go woaooh
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bagelzest · 4 months ago
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ok I've been writing down every code I could find and what they do for thisisnotawebsitedotcom in my notes app so here's what I've found so far:
• tjeckleburg - NEVER MENTION THAT NAME AGAIN
• bill - eye of providence wiki page, then sesame street jazzy triangle meets a square square (same result with cipher)
• bill cipher - triangle wiki page
• weirdmageddon - gravity falls gossiper newspaper
• soos - letter from soos
• pinata - bill piñata gettin beat
• mabel - stickers on everything till 'LAB NOW FULLY MABELIZED'
• dipper - note from bill telling dipper to stare at the sun for 13 hours, enter multiple times for a retina burning sim
• mason - letter from dipper
• pines - A GOOD FAMILY TREE
• stan + stanley - brass knuckles ebay search, keep entering to get wheel of shame page
• ford + stanford + sixer- ford's polydactyly diagnosis + report
• pacifica - letter from pacifica
• wendy - note from wendy
• waddles - pigplacementnetwork.org
• gideon - sweat resistant bolo ties google search
• fiddleford - cotton eye joe mv
• dippy fresh - burger king kids club r/nostalgia
• axolotl - YOU ASK ALOTL QUESTIONS
• tad strange - bread slicing
• alex hirsch - flannel google search
• blendin - TIME AGENT LOST AND PRESUMED INCOMPETENT
• robbie - text chat between robbie and Thompson, pic of them being taken by bill
• gravity falls - NEVER HEARD OF IT
• mystery shack - confusion hill
• blind eye - eye test, colour code at bottom- euclmjiannrepttgccvisignnsupervisionn I think?? EDIT wtf was I on that is obviously not what it says
• reality - IS AN ILLUSION
• the universe - HOLLOGRAM
• deer teeth - FOR YOU, KID!
• fuck - I get told to wash my mouth out with soap :(((
• book of bill - HIDE IT UNDER SHIRT DURING PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE
• giffany - enter multiple times, computer tries to block, SOOS, I STILL LOVE YOU, giffany appears on screen, downloading file IM NEVER LEAVING! file has all her sprites, a doc called ILL ALWAYS BE WITH YOU SOOS which is text in the shape of giffany
• euclydia - DIMENSION NOT FOUND
• portal - PORTAL.EXE HAS BEEN DELETED. I BET YOU COULD BUILD ONE
• toby determined - google search restraining order
• journal 1 - THE JOURNAL OF FUN
• journal 2 - THE JOURNAL FOR YOU
• journal 3 - THE JOURNAL FOR ME
• babba + disco girl - recording of dipper singing and listening to babba
• gun - OH YES OH YES OH YES THEY BOTH
• abuelita - best vacuum for walls and ceilings yt vid
• weird - weird al trapped in the computer
• xyler + craz - jem and the holograms theme song yt vid
• triangle - TRI HARDER
• theraprism - blue sign - IN CASE OF [the old one] DO NOT USE ELEVATORS
• yes - WHAT'S MCGUCKETS FAVOURITE SODA? (I tried putting in pitt cola and variations and nothing worked)
• no - YOUR LOSS...
• vallis cineris - creepy vid of baby bill held by static parents with voice saying why did you do it
• disney - RAT.GIF CENSORED FOR YOUR PROTECTION
• love + marry me (don't worry about how I discovered that) - pic of the love triangle book, click it and it plays an audio audiobook of it
• death - LIFE'S GOTH COUSIN
• life - LIFE: 72% COMPLETE. NOW LOADING: DEATH
• blanchin - how to blanch vegetables yt vid
• divorce - o' sadleys logo (aka the bar bill was at after "losing sixer" oh my GODDD)
• season 1 - SEASON -1: ANTIGRAVITY FALLS
• season 2 - SEASON 1
• season 3 - SEASON 2
• help me + save me + god - vid of axolotl swimming infront of a little bill statue
• ad astra per aspera - 2 journal pages starring ford and mabel, pls read them it's so good
• trigonometry - bill's attempt to have plato build the portal
• cray cray - mental health wiki page
• who are you - I COULD ASK YOU THE SAME QUESTION
• lies - bill talking about lying and nerds
• morality - fun game!
• R34LITY - henchmaniacs polaroids
• ducktective - DUCKTECTIVE STARS IN "LOVE, QUACKTUALLY" COMING TO: "OI, ITS THE COCKNEY CHANNEL INNIT?" THIS FALL
• question - ANSWER
• answer - QUESTION
I'm editing this post when I find new ones, feel free to add any you find!! please look at the replies to this post because people have found more codes!!
EDIT I'm probably done with updating this list, these are just the ones I found after goofing around on the website for 4 hours. other people have definitely made lists of all the codes found so far so make sure to check them out !!
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eevees-hobbies · 3 months ago
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i can NOOOOT get *your* suo out of my head like, i gotta ask a question abt him,, ok so we know he likes to share his yummy gfs pussy but does this include without permission 👀 like say she comes home and surprises him with her pussy already creampied by someone else (and making him guess who by the taste ughhhh), would he be more upset or turned on? Im just wondering where they draw the line bc we know suo has all the power 😍. Or like how did he even bring up sharing her first, what a conversation to be had lol!
I sent a rq under this name but im 🍒 anon btw!!
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Hi, 🍒 Anon! I love your mind and that you can’t stop thinking about Suo because that’s precisely how he’d like you–as obsessed with him as he is with you! And, yes, I’ve seen your other ask! I’m hoarding it until I can give it the attention it deserves! I may have written a scenario below to answer your question. I am so sorry!! I am sometimes not good at being brief, but I always get super into anything involving Suo because deep down, this man has me in a-.
Content Warning: Fem!Reader x Hayato Suo. Togame remains the villain in my fics (sorry, sweet boy!). Cheating by anyone else standards but consented infidelity by Reader and Suo’s (they match each other’s freak), cuckolding for Endo and Sugi, one instance of a smack to the thigh, dirty talk, degradation, dacryphilia, Suo knows you better than yourself, be prepared to hear Suo's inner thoughts because he is stressed, obsessive/worshipping kind of love, pussy inspection with fingers, cum eating, mentions of threesomes. Tis smut! Minors Do Not Interact. 
Word Count: 2K
Story banner by me. Divider by Saradkia
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Now, let's get into it, myes? You have some great questions about Suo and his girlfriend, who are an interesting couple. I think that some Wind Breaker men are built so differently that eating another man’s cum out of their girlfriend’s pussy would seem appealing or something that they would consider.
Endo, for example, is spreading you open and wide to lap Takiishi’s cum out of your sloppy, abused cunt without a second thought. In fact, he thinks you’re at your most delicious when Takiishi has already had his fun with you, and he eagerly takes his seat between your thighs to taste his favorite person and his girlfriend.
Sugishita isn’t necessarily into sharing, but he wouldn’t fault you if you were enamored by Umemiya—because, duh, why wouldn’t you be? It doesn’t strike him as odd that you let Umemiya hit it raw, and of course, Sugishita would be more than willing to help clean you up with his tongue.
But Suo? Yeah, sharing you doesn’t bother him in the slightest—your pleasure is his pleasure after all, but he’d much prefer to take a supporting or leading role in your sexual liaisons with his friends. That’s why I have always written them as engaging in the pleasures of the flesh together because Suo needs to be with you as you experience every ounce of pleasure–you two, after all, are simply one-half of the same beating heart.
The idea of you getting fucked by anyone and him not being present to watch does not sit right with his soul. 
He needs to be there to provide instructions to your lover because he knows your pleasure better than anyone else–including you–ever could. He needs to be there to deliver quick quips aimed at you so he can see how your flustered eyes dart away from him. He needs to be there to offer whispered words of praise and gentle touches to build you up as he guides your hips in a rocking motion while you ride your temporary lover's cock like the goddess you are. 
He wants to see the way your eyes roll back into the back of your skull when the tip of Umemiya’s cock pushes past the entrance of your tight cunt with a pop, his length bottoming out in you immediately.
“Aw, come on, sweet girl, don’t get that fucked out expression just yet; we’ve only just started.”
Suo wants to see the way you blush when Nirei moans desperately into the sweat-slicked skin of your back as he takes you from behind.
“Isn’t that cute, pretty girl? Nirei really can’t help thanking you for getting to try out your sweet cunt. I bet it’s the best he has ever had.”
And Suo wants to watch you swallow and lick up every single drop of Sakura’s cum no matter where it lands: on the bed sheets, on the floor, or even on Suo’s cock. Wow! How did it land there?
“Looks like you better get on your knees, dove, and clean up the mess you both made.”
To imagine himself absent, not being the one to finish you off, and not being the last one to leave his mark inside of you makes him feel like he just might lose his grip on reality.
Because you need him, don’t you? Your temporary lover can only do so much for you, but the one who makes you scream until your throat burns and your voice cracks isn’t Nirei, Umemiya, or Sakura. No, the one who makes you quiver and shake while he holds you in his arms as he strokes your hair after a particularly intense session is Suo. 
Truly, it’s how you bond, so how could you do it without him? It’s like if you were binge-watching your favorite TV show with your partner, and then you come back the next day and they had continued to watch without you! That shit fucking hurts! It’s a betrayal to Suo–just not for the same reasons as it would be to those of us who are more “traditional” in our way of thinking.
So if he comes home to find you with a mischievous glint in your eyes as you tell him you have a surprise for him, he’ll be delightfully curious—were you thinking of him enough to plan a surprise? You shouldn’t have, but of course, he’s glad that you did! 
At first, he’d smirk, approaching you while already unbuttoning his pants. As you spread your legs, his eyes would travel down to the thick, white seed that would be oozing out of you, and despite his usual stoic demeanor, you’d notice the unmistakable but slight clench of his jaw. 
Suo knows what reaction you’re trying to get out of him, and he’s more than willing to give it to you. You want him to lose control, to let his well-placed and perfectly maintained mask slip.
All because you’re a brat.
All because you want to be fucked within an inch of your life.
All because you seek discipline and a firm hand to remind you who is genuinely in charge.
Well, sorry, but this simply isn’t the type of behavior that Suo plans on rewarding. And tonight, your self-imposed limits on your body's ability to receive pleasure—and for how long—are not his problem or concern. Tonight, he plans on pushing you past what you think you can handle. Do you think you’ve seen the brink before? Tonight, the brink is the starting point. 
“I’m not hurt, just disappointed,” he’d start as his fingers would wrap around your ankles, his grip tight as he’d pull your entire body down the length of the bed and toward him.
“C-cliches, Hayato? You’re so much better than that-OW!” A sudden swat to your thigh gives you pause as you lift your ass a few inches off the bed in response to the sting, but that damn grip of his keeps you anchored.
“The only thing I want to hear out of your mouth unprompted is an apology. Now, who was it?” 
As you divide your plush lips to speak up–probably to say something that’s not in your best interest–you hesitate at the sight of Suo narrowing his eyes at you. Nothing but dangerous intent swirls behind ruby-toned irises, sending a shiver down your spine. But you know Suo, and he’s dangerous to everyone but you. To him, causing you pain would be akin to causing himself pain and he isn’t in the business of torturing the other half of his soul.
But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t plan on putting you in your place. Suddenly he’s hovering over you, his tassel earrings dangling in your face and tickling the gentle curve of your cheeks.
“W-who? Well…” you stammer, your eyes avoiding his sharp gaze.
While you’re wrestling with how honest you should be, he’s pushing two fingers deep inside of you, twisting his fingers to churn the cum in a way that feels violating. The sound of his fingers swirling the cum makes you blush because, between your heavy breathing, it’s the loudest sound in the room. 
“I knew she was greedy, but I had no idea you lacked self-control.” He pauses as the pace of his fingers pushing in and out of you quickens, and the squelches get more obscene. 
“Let’s see if I can figure it out. I know exactly how she feels after being ruined by each of our friends.” 
He’s not bluffing.
“Look how loud she is for me already. Was she this loud for…” he pauses as he goes down a mental list of who could have done this to you–and the duration of his pause makes your eyes narrow, and the tip of your ears heat up because now he’s being petty.
“Sakura?”
The way you snort lets him know he’s off base. Part of him is relieved it isn’t Sakura; his crush on you is borderline pitiful, and he wouldn’t want his friend to get the wrong idea. But if not Sakura, then who? Who would be brave–or stupid–enough to bypass him to get to you? 
As he twists his fingers inside of you, pulling a groan from your lips, his eyes linger on the way your nose scrunches up in pleasure and slight embarrassment. He leans in closer. “Tell me. Now.”
“I-it was Togame!”
Suo pulls back and looks at you like you just spat at him, making your heart speed up. His reaction is so visceral that you hold your breath in response. 
“Shishitoren trash?”
You wince; surely that beef was squashed long ago, you think. In some ways, it was, but there’s a bit of tension between Suo and Togame when it comes to you. 
Suo notices how Togame’s eyes sweep over you–as though he’s devouring you in his mind. Suo doesn’t mind the looking too much, but it’s the way Togame eye fucks you mercilessly and the way he somehow always manages to find excuses to touch and brush against you. 
He’s not threatened by his presence exactly, but the audacity of Togame pisses him off because not once has he asked for permission, not once has he approached him in the way that a gentleman would inquire about tasting what Suo considers his, not once-
Suo is snapped out of his spiraling as he notices your breathing has grown more rapid and your eyes glazed over long ago. Because, fuck, of course, he was still finger fucking you during his descent into madness. As you approach that oh-so-familiar edge, your toes curling in the way that tells him you’re close, he pulls his fingers out of you, leaving you feeling empty and anything but sated.
Your eyes snap open, their ferocity almost enough to make Suo forgive you right then and there and make you chant his name as he gives himself over to you–but lessons must be taught.
He holds the fingers up to your lips, the scent of Togame and yourself wafting into your nostrils and serving as a reminder of the intimacy you shared with him. Your bottom lip quivers ever so slightly and Suo drags his cum slicked fingers against your bottom lip, the sheen it leaves making you look so delicate, beautiful, and worthy of worship. His eyes flick down to your pout, lingering with an insatiable hunger that makes your core flutter. 
You can see his adams apple bob as he tries desperately to hold onto the thin thread of restraint threatening to snap. He can’t help but wonder if Togame got to see this side of you as he pushes his digits into your hungry mouth. You groan at the mixture of salty and sweet cum that coats your tongue and you can’t help but hollow your cheeks as you suck Suo’s fingers clean, your eyes never leaving his.
God and the way you twist your face in pleasure makes him want to lean in and taste your lips, allowing his tongue the privilege of experiencing what you taste like with another man’s essence on your tongue. He can feel his heart pounding in his chest, and it’s a toxic mixture of possessiveness, fixation, and lust that makes him ache and throb for you.
He should have been there to watch you take Togame’s cock. He should have been there to revel in the way your hot, fat tears flowed down your face as he encouraged Togame to stick a thumb in your other hole. He should have been there to stifle your loud moans and gasps with his cock as Togame gave your greedy pussy deep, deep strokes. “Didn’t know you liked the dirty, skeevy appeal that Shishitoren offers. How did he fuck you? Tell me every single detail; I have all fucking night.”
And Suo does have all fucking night, and suddenly, so do you.
“You like being stretched out by Shishtoren cock? Maybe I should drop you off at the Ori and let the “Devotees of Power” have their way with you. How about Choji, hm? He’s a bit of a biter, you know, and I know how sensitive you are, darling; I don’t think you’d last very long” He grips your chin between his fingers, forcing you to look into his eyes. 
“I want to see every place where he touched you. I want to see where he touched what’s mine, so I can make you forget all about Jo Togame.” 
His eyes trail down, amused and pleased that you’re already obeying. Your fingers slip between your thighs as you watch his hungry gaze take in the way you spread your folds, and you know you have him exactly where you want him.
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Anyway, 🍒 anon, this might be how it would go, but I wouldn’t make a habit of it because Suo has his limits, and I can’t promise he’ll be merciful next time. 
@pixelcafe-network @hayatoseyepatch @interstellar-inn
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shower-phantom-ideas · 1 year ago
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New random DP x DC idea
Danny is strong yeah? Imagine him scruffing the other superheros
Batman is about to really wail into some guy when all of a sudden his legs leave the ground and he hears a “tsk tsk tsk” from behind him. “Come on man arent you like the worlds greatest detective? This guy is just trying ti save his kid” ok well he is The Batman so all of a sudden it clicks and hes lowkey grateful for whoever stopping him but also whost the funk. Danny dips the moment he realises The Big Bad Bat is on the same page.
The Flash is just trying to get his coffee or something and all of a sudden hes stopped, mid running, and lifted up. “Hey listen dude you can’t keep doing this. Do you know how much trouble you cause using your speed like this?”
He doesn’t scruff Wonder Woman but some dude trying to hit on her. Not like she couldn’t haven’t it herself but Danny is a big fan probably and wanted to look good in her eyes (?simp? Sam thinks so)
Cyborg is probably amazing by Danny and starts asking questions and is actually pretty hyped. (Idk the fandom forgets my cool cybro guy so im running on my childhood memory)
Superman’s got the power of flight but when Danny scruffs him all of a sudden hes bunching up like a little kitten.
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amaiaqt · 1 year ago
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ㅤㅤㅤㅤミㅤhear me outㅤ⋆ 。˚ㅤ♡ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤsituations where he felt humiliated while explaining himself ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤwanderer, cyno, kaeya, heizou !
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ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ。゚ ⊹ㅤwanderer !ㅤ
(may be considered a little suggestive ???? kuni likes your thighs!! basta yon putek)
in his defense, it's normal for a loving boyfriend to tweet about his partner on his private account, right ? he's just flexing you !
kunxzhi tweeted: "i want to bite [name]'s thighs archons send strength" kunxzhi tweeted: "archons im no soldier im going feral for them"
he stared at his tweet notifications that displayed on your screen as you held your phone up in front of his face, giving him the most 'this you ?' look humanity has ever seen
no, you weren't mad, you were flustered actually. but you're not used to him thinking about you like that, you thought you were the one thinking about him like that
"you wanna like... elaborate, babe ?" you spoke, setting your phone down on the counter as you leaned with one arm against it, the other resting on your hip in a sassy manner, staring him down. at this, kuni got even more nervous, tugging at the collar of his loose tanktop and mustering up a crooked smile
"i uhm..... hehe ?" why the hell did he 'hehe' ?!
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ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ。゚ ⊹ㅤcyno !ㅤ
please, he did NOT mean to stare at you so much, his eyes following you like a predator, and you weren't even doing anything
you were just wearing one of his shirts with an apron tied around your waist, circling the kitchen while cooking. it wasn't anything like..... ok maybe because you were wearing his shirt and it was loose so you looked absolutely darling in it, but archons forbid the day he has to admit that
he didn't even realize he was staring until you were waving your hand in front of his face. "cyno ? darling ?" he snapped out of his trance as his lips parted, the words ready to spill out for his response, but he felt the way your hand rested on his chest softly
that hand on his chest, along with the way you looked up at him, he is about to have a meltdown
"cyno ? you've been staring at me for a while now.." "eh...." how does he even explain himself in this situation when there was absolutely no prominent reason he should be staring in the first place ?
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ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ。゚ ⊹ㅤkaeya !ㅤ
you've scolded him about drinking on several different occasions by now, and yes, he respects your concerns and he has limited his visits to the local tavern ! but, he needs to let of some steam sometimes
tonight was one of those nights where you allowed him to go to the tavern, giving him a curfew of course
and he arrived on time to his curfew ! just... very messily...
there was a knock on the door, and to your relief, it was your boyfriend ! but, vomiting in the plant bed by the door when you opened up to him knocking. he looked up at you, wiping off his chin as he gave you a guilty, crooked smile. only for you to narrow your eyes and glare at him in return, expectant of an explanation, yet only receiving a nervous chuckle from the male still hunched over on the doorstep
may the anemo archon give you patience to deal with this charming but stubborn man
"you're sleeping on the sofa tonight." "aw love, how cruel !" "you smell." "well, true, but —"
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ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ。゚ ⊹ㅤshikanoin heizou ! ㅤ
you two had developed a morning routine that you were both used to. you would make him some food that he can take with him, whether he's leaving for work or personal training, and he would come home at the end of the day with some random trinket and a kiss
but today, he came home with a broken leg. actually, you had to pick him up at work because he couldn't even walk
his eyes glued to the wall or the floor when you stood in front of him, waiting for an explanation that he couldn't give. it wasn't that it was bad, it was just humiliating. but to his dismay, you asked his coworker instead
"did he sprain it while practicing his stunts ?" you questioned one of his office peers, receiving a sympathetic laugh in reply. "it's ironic actually, we thought so too." they replied, making you raise your eyebrow. "then if not from that, what happened ?" "he tripped while walking into the office."
color drained from his face and his dignity dropped to the floor, making a hole for him to crawl into — not actually, but he wished
as you stepped out of the office, carrying him on your back, you planted a kiss to his cheek as he hid his face in your shoulder
"no need to be embarrassed, idiot."
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ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ© amaiaqt, 2023 ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤdo not plagiarize !
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natequarter · 1 month ago
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i really do have a lot of ideas for timeblr
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🎉 yourbutchgirlfriend Follow
hey did you guys know the doctor does crack cocaine
🔫 thebrigadier Follow
This is the least surprising thing I've heard all day.
📑 anordinaryjournalist Follow
Wait he what??
📝 professorsurprise Follow
you mean you guys have never seen the doctor high? damn
🔫 thebrigadier Follow
Not "high" as such, but I have met him.
🎉 yourbutchgirlfriend Follow
you guys know i was joking right. just because he was caught with crack cocaine doesn't mean he does it!!!
📝 professorsurprise Follow
i'd say i have questions but like i say he very much does do drugs
#pour one out for the brigadier he seems totally done #also his voice is weirdly similar to that one time my cat learnt to speak
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Anon asked: what on gallifrey do you mean "that time my cat learnt to speak"
📝 professorsurprise Follow
hey these things happen sometimes
#benny answers #strictly speaking it wasn't so much that he learnt how to speak as #actually nvm i'll leave that story for another time
78 notes
🌊 raggedyfan Follow
save me raggedy man
🌊 raggedyfan Follow
raggedy man
🌊 raggedyfan Follow
raggedy man... save me..
6 notes
🌈 ijustwanttobeabotanist Follow
and then math boy EXPLODED. many are saying this
🪨 vislorturlough Follow
it's maths boy
🌈 ijustwanttobeabotanist Follow
why do you care you're from another planet
✈️ donewiththisshit573 Follow
😐
#this is not it guys
39 notes
🌹 normalwifeguy Follow
It's not that I want to die but sometimes it would just be nice to stay dead, you get me? Like ok. Fine. I have to die all the time. At least make it stick one of these days
📘 bossycontrolfreak Follow
this but i actually want to die
🌹 normalwifeguy Follow
In the nicest way possible... make your own post. Or go to a therapist. This post is about getting unwritten from reality, not suicidal behaviour.
👑 fred Follow
are you insinuating people who get unwritten from reality shouldn't be allowed to kill themselves? this post is really offensive, to be honest. some of us are suicidal AND we want to stay dead and that's just as valid a perspective
🌹 normalwifeguy Follow
What the fuck.
#I give up.
22 notes
💣 commiedyke Follow
anyone think the pforessor looks an awful lot like timothy chalamet
#IM JUST SAYING #ace speaks
2 notes
🚬 fitz-crier Follow
iwant him ti put a baby in mr
#i maay be drink #hes si fucking pretty thiguh #its noy just me right
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🏏 the--adventurer5 Follow
I miss my wife, Tails. I miss her a lot.
⚰️ themaster Follow
you mean you miss your *boyfriend
🏏 the--adventurer5 Follow
I assure you I do not.
⚰️ themaster Follow
well you should
🏏 the--adventurer5 Follow
I legitimately hope you die.
13 notes
⚰️ themaster Follow
consul-tremas -> themaster
plz reblog to help me find my moots!!!
62 notes
🚬 fitz-crier Follow
gay sex isknt eounough i need him to vivisectt me.
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👑 fred Follow
the doctor was right when he said pizza tastes best when you're hungry
👑 fred Follow
when you're starving
👑 fred Follow
i think i'm gonna die here guys
⚔️ warqueenextraordinaire Follow
...looking back on it, I do not recall Etra Prime having Wi-Fi.
29 notes
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mimisplayground · 1 year ago
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If I can’t have you baby, no one else in this world can. ʅ(◞‿◟)ʃ
I hope everyone likes it! This is part two of my other Toji fic where he was jealoussssss~ I hope u all enjoy :3 (part one linked at da bottom)
Tags: Dacryphillia (brief), Rough sex, Mentions of Murder, Mean Toji, He talks abt marrying you during sex????? (not clickbait)(gone wrong)(gone sexual), Spanking (kinda brief too), JEALOUS TOJI!!!, very light bondage, HES SWEET BUT IN SUBTLE WAYS!!, Degrading, Overstimulation, Thigh Fucking (brief), Doggy Style, Mating Press
I couldve missed some tag sorryyyyyyy, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!!
——————
Toji hadn’t heard from you in a week. A whole week of no contact from you, and he could feel his eye twitch as he knocked on your door.
And he was even more angry when you opened the door with a bratty pout on your face. “What do you want Fushiguro?” You huffed out, frowning at him.
He had to resist the urge to lean forward to smother you entirely. He treats you real nice and you wanna call him by his last name? Like he didn’t have you screaming his first name only a week prior? “Wanna know why you’re ignoring me, baby.” He tries his luck with being sweet with you first, a disingenuous smile on his face.
He quickly regrets the sweet act when you roll your eyes in his face. “Made me block my other guy.” You muttered out, and Toji felt his hand fist up for a moment. “He was a good fuck,” you started off, stupid of you to do in Toji’s opinion “and you made me block him like you’re up here all that often anyways. Can’t keep me satisfied and got rid of the one who could.”
By the end of your sentence, Toji had reached the end of his patience. He leans forward, and his hand grips your shoulder for a moment. “Im gonna go, and I’m gonna bash that guys skull in. And when I’m done you’re gonna be on the bed, where I’m gonna fuck you so hard you forget your own name. Ok?” He was at a borderline whisper, and you felt yourself shuddering at the threat he spoke last time being reiterated.
You throw yourself to hug him when he goes to turn. The idea of some man dying just for getting his dick wet didn’t sit right with you. “Tojiiiii,” You whined out, looking at him as pitifully as you could. “I didnt mean it Toji, I was just trying to get you riled up.” You admitted bashfully (in a poor attempt to earn pity points from a man who doesn’t pity anything), ignoring how hot your face felt when you heard - and felt - his chuckle at the confession.
You’re led into your place, a hand gently cradling your back as you’re led to your room and you can’t help but think that your confession had subdued Toji’s anger, even momentarily.
So imagine your surprise when you find your face smushed into the bed, hands tied behind your back when a soft satin ribbon and your ass in the air. And the first time his hand landed on your ass it was shocking enough to make you jolt forward with a small squeal. The hits that came after still earning groans and grunts of pain from you.
Even if he wouldn’t admit it, he was being soft on you, he always was. But he made a promise that you would forget your own name and he intended to hold true on that.
“Fucking whore” he huffed, another smack landing on your ass “bratty bitch, gotta be put back in your place.” His hands grip your hips and you squirm in anticipation.
His fingers find their way inside you first, working you open with so much precision you felt he was playing you like an instrument. Three fingers deep inside, and god did they hit the perfect spots each time. “You tryna get dick from someone else? I’m all you need baby.” He says, jealous vemon laced in every word.
“Just you Toji, ‘m sorry, didn’t mean it.” You whined, and you hear a cruel laugh as his fingers leave you. “Now I’m Toji? Not Fushiguro?” He questions in a mean tone even as his hands massage your back.
(He said it was to help with prep when he first did it. Your questioning leaving him a bit scrambled before he claimed it made the sex better. You had believed him at first, until you realized it was just a small act of care. You never called him on it, you enjoyed it even.)
“Begging isn’t gonna work on me this time, cute little whore.” Toji says with a mocking coo, pushing his pants down to pump his dick with his own fist a few times. And as he stares at your back, he can’t help but want to break his own promise and just fuck into you. Not that he actually would, but he was tempted.
He slips his dick between your thighs, thrusting lightly and kissing at your neck. “Talking about another guy in front of me, giving me a bitchy ass attitude,” he seems to be recounting his grievances with you, a hand reach to grip your waist when you try to grind down onto the dick between your thighs. “Don’t know who you belong to yet? That it? Maybe I should put a ring on your finger and make you understand.” He groans, listening to your pleads for him to just put it in already.
And when he finally complies it’s like bliss. His hand is gripping your wrists before he unties the ribbon holding them together. Your hands grip the sheets at either side of you, and you sigh happily as he kisses your poor red wrists. You turn your head, kissing him on his cheek.
Toji’s mind seems to blank for a moment before he’s pulling out and flipping you onto your back. And with your legs thrown over his shoulders as your bent almost in half, he fucks you into a mating press so brutal that your mind blanks.
“Gonna make you mine baby, put a ring on your finger. You’re never gonna get away from me.” He grunts and almost growls, watching your eyes roll back with tears streaming down your face. “Gonna keep you locked in, you love saying my last name so much, now you’re gonna share with me.” His thrusts were deep, and hard, and agonizingly perfect that you could help but violently twitch as an earth shattering orgasm runs through you.
He fucks you through it, and you feel an awful sense of deja-vu as you go hurtling toward your next one.
Toji grabs your left hand, and you stare at him in a stupid, fucked dumb look of curiosity and whined when he bit your ring finger hard. And you whined even more when he forced his own left ring finger into your mouth, telling you to bite hard. You comply and watch him fill with a sinful glee. “There you go baby, it’s our wedding rings.” He says with a soft grin, his brutal thrusts being an absolute opposite of the look.
With orgasm three coming quick, you’re almost relieved to feel his rhythm falter and stutter, and you scream into the room filled with sweat and sex as you feel another final brutal slam of his pelvis into yours, and you feel your insides fill up with his cum.
He pulls out, getting up and walking to the bathroom, and you sigh through closed and tired eyes as you feel him wipe you down with a warm damp cloth and few minutes later. A blanket is thrown over you both as he spoons you.
His thumb traces the bitemark he left on your finger, you completely pliant and stupid in his arms. You couldn’t seem to think of an answer when he looked at you with a devilish smile and innocently asked “so, what’s your name?”
*
The next morning, waking up to Toji cuddled up with you and a subtle rumbling snore coming from him had to be the best feeling in the world.
Your legs were jelly, and when Toji woke up and had finally pulled himself up, he brought you water and a small plate of fruits. You watch him get dressed with a pout. “Toji…where are you going so soon?”
He turns and the smile he had was an almost boyish expression. “I told you last night,” You felt your blood freeze for a moment as you stared at Toji, your legs unable to move.
“Im gonna go bash that guys skull in.” He left a small peck on your forehead and a promise that he would he back soon.
God you hope that other guy had a quick death, if nothing else.
—————
UH….SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG… LOTS OF THOUGHT PUT INTO THIS ONE!!
Requests open :3
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harufluff · 2 years ago
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things they would say
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warnings - none
genre - fluff, comfort, dialogue, txt x gn!reader, established relationship au
reblogs and comments are highly appreciated.
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bolded is reader. enha version
choi soobin
"can we just like...stay like this? just for a little bit i promise"
"i like your face. it's my favorite face"
"i love you" "more than odi...?" "...your tied for first"
"it feels like ages since i've seen you!" "we just hung out yesterday..." "that was too long ago"
"am i aloud to look at you for this long...?"
"gimme a kiss riiiiiiight...here" *points to cheek*
choi yeonjun
"i can do whatever i want. im your boyfriend"
"i couldn't stop missing you if i tried"
"hold my hand, ok?"
"do you expire?" "im not ramen" "oh my god if you were i would love you even more." *gets punched in the arm* "OW WHAT THE HECK. I WAS JOKING CMON"
"i hope you know your stuck with me forever."
choi beomgyu
"wake up. its time for the day" "no"
"whatever, whenever, whoever. ill always be here"
"can i braid your hair...?" "why" "cause its pretty"
"I'LL KISS IT TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER"
"i'm dying!! you're to cute!!!"
"is there anyway you would leave me for someone else...?" "thats a stupid question." "why?" "because there is no possible way that i would leave your side in any universe."
kang taehyun
"did anyone hurt you? ill kill them"
"why do you smell like coffee? did you have a long night?"
"your smile makes my whole world better." "where did you find that...?" "google"
"why does everyone think youre scary. your like a cute little bunny" "i am scary." alternative "PEOPLE THINK IM SCARY???"
"can you do that again?"
"you need to stop smiling." "why?" "because my heart is beating too fast. so choose, hospital or no smiling"
"love you, sweets"
huening kai
"I COULD JUST EAT YOU!! YOU'RE SO CUTE"
"everything you do is perfect. don't change"
"uhm...do you want to hug one of my plushies?"
"why can't we sleep forever?" "i mean...technically we can..."
"does anyone else make you this happy...?" "hmm...i dont think so?" "ok good. thats my job now"
"i don't know how well me cooking will end, but i'll do it if your too tired."
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let me know for an enha version.
©Harufluff 2023 | Do not copy, repost or claim any of my works.
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cl3fairyyy · 9 months ago
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routine : part 2 || edward nashton x GN!reader ⋆⭒˚。⋆
summary || you and edward finally go on a date
warnings || eddie is a liiiittle more stalker-y in this one, smoking, mentions of drinking, mentions of edward following reader home and just overall being his strange little self, this fic does get a little suggestive (no actual smut) so please MDNI!!!! i think that's everything, if i forgot anything i am so sorry </3 this fic is mostly just fluff with a side of awkward first date small talk
word count || 4.5k
notes || i am so sorry for the long wait on part 2!! been having the worst writers block of my life and my job has been taking over my life atm </3 but it is finally here!! i had so much fun writing this one, definitely thinking of doing a part 3 if u guys want it :)) apologies if at any point eddie is too OOC, he's definitely a little more confident in this one hehe. also this pic of paul is EXACTLY how I imagined him looking while writing this
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You arrive back at your dingy apartment later than you had planned and, admittedly, a lot tipsier than you had wanted to be.  
You shove your key into the crappy broken lock that your landlord refuses to fix and jiggle it around for several moments until you finally hear a click. Opening the door, you sway on your feet a little before stumbling over to the couch, kicking the door shut behind you; when you plop down on the velvety throw you use to cover up the horrible cracking leather of your equally horrible sofa, you sigh and throw your head back, allowing a smile to play onto your face.  
He had asked you on a date.  
You keep replaying the interaction in your head, mentally swooning at how Edward had lit your cigarette for you, how he had been so close that you could smell the laundry detergent on his clothes. You giggle like a schoolgirl, hugging one of your cushions as you fish around in your bag for your phone. You have to suppress a giddy squeal when you are greeted with not one, but three messages from a random number, one you can only guess belongs to Edward. You feel dizzy unlocking your phone, and you don’t know if it’s the alcohol or your nerves.  
Hi, it’s Edward. I hope you have a lovely rest of your night.  
I really liked talking to you today. You’re a very interesting person.  
Are you okay? It's late, did you get home safe?  
It takes everything in you to not dreamily sigh like you’re in a fucking rom-com. He's concerned about me, you think, typing a reply with a lopsided smile on your face.  
hiii yes im fine!! just made it home : )  
im vry drunk lol  
Immediately the grey typing bubble pops up and you launch your phone across the room, scrambling to the fridge to open the half-empty bottle of slightly too expensive rosé that you have been saving for the next time you rewatch Fleabag.   
You hear your phone ding twice and gingerly pick it up from underneath the coffee table, your hands shaking.  
Oh, good to hear that you’re safe haha. I was about to head back to the bar to see if you were okay.  
That was a joke by the way.  
You can’t stop a smile from spreading across your face. You take a swig from the bottle and begin typing.  
yea im sure it was lol  
it was nowhere near as interesting after u left. u were in such a hurry too are u ok??  
Edward’s cheeks grow red when he reads your second message. You think he’s interesting? Are you hinting that you would’ve preferred if he stayed?  
Wish I could have stayed for a bit longer haha, just had some work at home that I couldn’t get my mind off, so wanted to take another crack at it.  
Obviously, he can’t tell you that his work isn’t just some simple tax fraud, but a potential money laundering scandal that ties all the way back to Maroni and your own boss. He knows at this point, though, that you’re too polite to question him.  
u sure do work a lot!!!! idk how u havent burnt out yet.   
try to get some rest if u can : ) its not like the work wont be there tmrw!!!!  
Edward smiles. You are so lovely to him; the idea that someone like you could show so much kindness to him makes his heart swell and his eyes fill with tears. A few run down the tip of his nose and plop onto his phone screen.  
I know, I know. Sometimes it feels like I can’t switch my brain off haha. It’s been in overdrive since I got home.  
He cringes at himself. Is he meant to text so formally? You're pretty much the only contact in his phone besides his landlord and the office. He glances down at his screen, noticing that you’ve read his message but haven’t started typing an answer, and immediately begins to panic.  
Of course someone like you couldn’t like him. He was a fool to think you were any different than anyone else in this shithole of a city. You’re probably still sat with your colleagues at that shitty bar, reading out his messages and all having a good old laugh at him. Everyone get a load of Nashton! you're probably saying, and he feels sick to his stomach.   
soso sorry my phone just died out of nowhere!!! i srsly did not mean to leave u on opened  
honestly i get u i can be like that. its probably worse for u tho bc ur so smart lol  
whats been sending the brain of eddie into overdrive tonight??  
Edward shakes his head at how silly he’s being. It would be funny if he didn’t feel so pathetic. He reads your messages over and over until his eyes burn; no one has ever given him a nickname before. Eddie. He rereads the nickname, trying to imagine how it would sound coming out of your mouth. His mind begins to wander, picturing you lying beneath him, bare chest heaving as you moan that name to him. Eddie.  
He's snapped out of his thoughts when his phone lights up again with a notification from his news app. He attempts to push down his building arousal before it completely clouds his mind, and scrambles for his phone to send you a reply.   
It’s a little embarrassing, but... I have been thinking non-stop about the conversation we had outside.  
I really would like to take you out, if you’ll let me. If you’d like to pick where we go so you feel more comfortable, I’m happy with that. I’m sure you know much nicer places to go than I do anyway haha.  
You squeal at your phone, kicking your feet in the air like a goddamn teenager. You hastily type a reply, and soon enough you’ve made plans for Sunday to go to a lovely downtown jazz club that plays live music. It's one of your favourite spots in the whole city.  
You fall asleep fairly quickly after throwing yourself on your bed still fully clothed. You don’t think twice about how bad your hangover will be when you wake up, instead picturing your date with Edward and just how lovely he is.  
Edward, on the other hand, stays up all night, his thoughts rife with anxiety. You'd had one conversation in a loud bar, and now he’s expected to keep you entertained for an entire evening? What if you didn’t find him interesting? What if he ran out of things to talk about? What if you stood him up entirely?  
He shakes his head, trying as hard as he can to shake the thoughts from his brain entirely. He opens your social media, which he has found himself doing every time he seems to be on the verge of a panic attack recently. He finds his favourite picture of you, a candid photo of you in a coffee shop mid-laugh, your eyes sparkling and cheeks rosy. He loves your smile in this picture.  
He hopes he can make you smile like that.  
Saturday goes by painfully slowly for you. The dragging hours aren’t helped by your awful hangover that seems to have convinced your brain that any slight movement will have you vomiting. You cringe rereading the messages you sent Edward the evening prior, hangxiety hitting you like a train.  
Eddie? Seriously?  
You have one conversation with the guy and have already started throwing nicknames around- you're in shock that you didn’t scare him off with how forward you were being. If he brings it up, you can always blame it on how drunk you were, which isn’t exactly a lie.  
He doesn’t text you until later in the evening, just a simple message confirming that you’re still on for tomorrow. You wonder if he’s as nervous as you are, if his anxiety manifests itself in the way he chews at his lower lip the same way you do.  
When Sunday finally rolls around, you wake up extra early to give yourself as much time to get ready as humanly possible. You would never admit it to anyone, but you’d picked out your outfit the night before and laid it on your desk chair, your nervous excitement barely allowing you to get a wink of sleep.   
Edward had offered to pick you up, but you really do not need him seeing the shithole you live in the first time he sees you outside of work. You both agree to meet outside the bar, and since it’s in walking distance from your apartment, you decide against getting a taxi.  
Gotham is strangely beautiful in March, the last moments of winter finally coming to fruition. The sun is just beginning to set when you step out into the chilly air, casting an orange glow on the old buildings and warming your cheeks against the cold.   
Edward’s heart races as he clumsily stumbles out of the subway station. He's almost twenty minutes early and grasps a cluster of lilies in one hand, the other of which he uses to steady himself against a lamppost. The lady from his favourite podcast whispers soothingly in his ear as he attempts to block out the loudness of the city and steady his breathing.  
“You are strong, and you are worthy. Be the change you want to see.”  
He closes his eyes, taking deep breaths before finally grounding himself. Edward is all too aware of how he must look right now: sweaty, clutching a bouquet of flowers while standing alone outside a bar. He glances at his watch. Still ten minutes until your meeting time.  
He tries to ignore the lump in his throat and the stinging in his eyes. You will show up. You have to.  
Edward jumps slightly when his phone chimes in his pocket. His heart drops when he realises it’s a text from you.  
so sorry!!! running a few mins late :/ decided to walk today and ofc that’s the day that every traffic light in the city decides to break LOL  
The light-hearted tone in your message doesn’t do much to comfort him. He types a short answer and sends it, trying to focus all of his energy on his podcast and not crying from how utterly terrified he is.  
Ten minutes after your initially agreed upon meeting time, Edward hears a voice shouting his name. He looks up to be met with the image of you practically sprinting down the street towards him. You pull to a stop in front of him, smoothing your hair down and smiling bashfully up at him. Christ, you forgot how tall he is.  
“Before you say anything, I am so sorry. First there was the traffic light thing, then one of my old college friends stopped me in the street and decided that she wanted to update me on every single day of the past three years of her life.”  
You breathe in heavily through your nose, your hands on your knees as you try and keep yourself from keeling over. You make a mental note to begin using that gym membership you keep renewing. Quitting smoking would probably help, too.  
You look up when Edward hasn’t responded for several moments, and his cheeks are very pink.  
“Look, you have every right to be pissed at me. If you want to cancel-”  
Before you can finish, Edward interrupts you by thrusting a bouquet of flowers into your hands.  
“Th-these are for you. I, um, remembered you mentioning lilies were your favourite flower, so...” He stumbles over his words, talking just a little too fast. 
You're quite literally lost for words. You examine the flowers, your cheeks growing warm; it's a lovely spray of pink, yellow and orange lilies, tied together with a cream ribbon. They’re a little crumpled, but nothing that can’t be fixed with a little plant food. You smile at Edward.  
“Oh, Edward. They're gorgeous, really, thank you. No guy’s ever gotten me flowers before...”  
A small, lopsided grin spreads across his face.   
“I can’t imagine why anyone lucky enough to have you wouldn’t get you flowers.”  
You flush at that, and loop your arm around his, leading him inside. You manage to find a nice booth in the corner, away from the stage and speakers that surround it while Edward heads to the bar. You anxiously drum your fingers on the table and scroll through your phone, not really paying attention to what you’re meant to be reading as your mind replays what Edward had said earlier.  
Edward watches you from the bar, admiring the high flush on your cheekbones and the way your outfit hugs your body. By the time he’s ordered and heading back to your table, you seem a little more relaxed. You smile at him gratefully as you accept your drink and try not to make your staring too obvious.  
He looks handsome. He's wearing such a basic outfit, just a simple button up shirt and some smart slacks, but there’s something about Edward wearing something so casual and making it look so good that has you crossing your legs under the table.  
“You look lovely tonight, by the way.”  
You smile shyly at him, tracing your finger around the rim of your glass.  
“Thank you, Edward. I have to say, you clean up pretty good yourself.”  
He laughs, and you don’t miss the way it sounds like it's one of disbelief.  
“Well, I don’t know if I’d say that.”  
You roll your eyes playfully, taking a sip of your drink.  
“Well, I would. You look really handsome.”  
Edward shakes his head, a bashful smile on his face as he looks down, taking a sip of water. The pair of you sit there for a few moments in awkward silence, trying to think of something to start a conversation with. 
“So-” 
“You-” 
You lock eyes and both laugh, cheeks red. You wave your hand. 
“Sorry, you go.” 
Edward averts his gaze, fiddling with his collar. 
“I, um, was just going to ask how you found this place? I’ve never even heard of it. Well, I suppose the fact I don’t drink and don’t listen to jazz music doesn’t help, but...” 
Edward finds himself trailing off, kicking himself for how utterly awkward he is. The way you smile at him, unfazed, doesn’t help. 
How could someone like you ever find any interest in someone like him? 
“It’s a funny story, actually. My old roommate was on a date with this absolute dick, and she needed me to come save her. So, what happened was....” 
As you tell him the grandiose story of having to pretend to be your roommates' partner who caught her cheating, and how you had to run away when her date attempted to fight you, Edward can’t help but admire the way your eyes light up as you gesture wildly with your hands, the way your laugh comes out as an adorable snort when you attempt to do an impression of her very flustered date.  
You are so beautiful. He wishes he could capture this moment in a bottle and replay it every day, for the rest of his life. 
He doesn’t realise how much he’s staring until you clear your throat a little awkwardly, clearly finished with your tale. He can feel the warmth on his cheeks. 
“Ah, well, I do hope you don’t have some secret boyfriend who’s going to jump out on me like that.” 
He bites his lip after saying whatever the hell that was, but to his complete disbelief you laugh. Not a pity laugh, not one of discomfort, but a genuine laugh, one that’s just a little too loud, one that disturbs some of the patrons around you. 
You clearly don’t care, your head thrown back as that smile, that lovely smile from his favourite picture spreads across your face. Even as you speak, uncontrollable giggles escape you. 
“Oh God, can you imagine? Lucky for you, I’ve been single for a while, so don’t worry about my secret boyfriend coming in and trashing the place.” 
That makes Edward laugh, much to your pleasure, and just like that, the tension in the air has dissolved. You can see Edward’s tense shoulders visibly relax, and the next few hours are spent under the warm light of the bar’s lamps, your conversations hushed and filled with longing glances, and it feels like you’re the only two people in the world that exist. 
The two of you step out into the bitter cold of the evening, hands fumbling for your respective cartons of cigarettes. Your shivering hands are somehow able to summon a flame from your crappy old lighter, and the alcohol in your system, as well as the way Edward looks at you with such adoration in his eyes, warm you from the inside out. He offers you his arm and you take it maybe just a little too enthusiastically as you walk through the city streets. 
When you look up at Edward, he’s already got his eyes on you, the tip of his nose pink from the late winter air. You can feel the flush spreading across your face, quickly averting your eyes to the sparkling lights of the skyscrapers. 
Edward retracts his arm from yours, and you look up at him again, confused and somewhat offended. He’s shrugging his parka off his shoulders and draping it over your own before you can even comprehend what’s happening. 
“You’re shivering. You might not feel cold because you’ve been drinking, but I can see the goosebumps on your arms.” 
He says this so matter-of-factly. Does he not realise how romantic and thoughtful his actions are? He opens his mouth to speak again, but you interrupt him. 
“Thank you.” 
He offers you that adorable lopsided grin that accentuates just how round and soft his cheeks are. 
“It’s really no problem. I don’t want you getting sick.” 
Maybe it’s the alcohol. Maybe it’s just how perfect the night has been. Maybe it’s the way he looks at you like you’re the most beautiful person he’s ever seen. Before you can second-guess yourself, you’re removing the cigarette from between his lips and replacing it with a kiss. 
He's stiff at first, unsure, before you feel a hesitant hand on your face, thumb caressing your cheek. He pulls away first, pressing his forehead to yours, and you can practically see the stars in his eyes. 
“...Wow.” 
You suddenly feel bashful, pulling away from him completely and taking a drag from your cigarette. 
“Sorry, I-” 
“Why are you apologising?” 
You meet his gaze again, his glasses fogged up, but not enough to conceal the way his brow knits with worry, the apprehension in his eyes. 
“I don’t know, I- I should have asked first.” 
He takes your hand in his own, his smile so comforting that you feel all your worries melt away almost instantaneously. 
“You don’t ever have to worry about asking me something like that. The answer will always be yes.” 
He kisses you again, softly, and you can taste the tobacco on his tongue, making your head spin. His other hand comes to rest on your hip, squeezing it reassuringly as he takes your breath away. 
You pull away first this time, readjusting his glasses which have slipped down his nose. 
“Do you want to come back to my place?” 
Edward’s face goes entirely red at your suggestion, and he stumbles over his words as he tries to string together a coherent sentence. 
“I- um, well...” 
You smile patiently, and he returns it somewhat hesitantly. 
“I’ve- I’ve really enjoyed our night together, and I, just, um... I like you so much that, ah, I don’t really think we should rush anything. You’ve had a bit to drink, and I would hate to take advantage of that.” 
Your eyes sting at his rejection as you attempt to muster up a tight-lipped smile, nodding stiffly. Edward’s smile drops. 
“Oh dear, I’ve upset you, haven’t I?” 
When you don’t quite meet his eyes, he sighs and gently holds your hand, giving you the chance to push him away. When you don’t, he pushes a little further, holding your chin between two fingers and tilting your head up to meet his gaze. 
“I’m not lying when I say I like you. I really do, and I would hate to rush something as important as... that... especially when you’re intoxicated. I don’t want you to have any regrets. You're too special.” 
Your heart leaps at his words, and you give Edward a small smile. It was never about him, or his comfort. He’s worried that you’d regret sharing yourself with him. 
“I... yeah. I guess I’m just used to guys only expecting one thing out of a date. I really like you too, Eddie.” 
He presses a chaste kiss to your lips, offering you his hand. 
“Let me walk you home?” 
You nod, leaning into his side.  
Edward, of course, knows exactly where you live, but feigns ignorance as you take the lead back to your apartment. He'd know your building anywhere, thanks to his tendency to follow you home after work to ensure your safety, but being in front of it now, with you by his side, feels so fresh and new that it’s almost as if he’s seeing it for the first time. 
It's falling apart, of course. Every building in Gotham that isn’t owned by someone extremely wealthy is. Crude graffiti adorns the crumbling brick walls, and he feels you stiffen up beside him when you notice a couple of shady guys, probably dealing drops, only a few feet away. 
“It’s not exactly... the best area. Will you at least wait for your cab in my apartment? I really don’t want you getting mugged, or worse.” 
Even with his impressive height, you’re worried Edward could be a target. His smart clothes definitely don’t help. 
Edward can hardly believe his luck at finally being able to see the inside of your apartment. Of course, he’s seen it from outside your window when he’s perched on your fire escape late at night, but this is different. This is intimate. Even though he’d turned down your offer for sex, you’re still revealing such a personal aspect of yourself to him. 
You trust him. 
You lead him into the rundown building, apologising for the elevator that has been broken for months. He already knows that, but nods anyway.  
“That’s okay. Five flights of stairs won’t do me any harm.” 
When you finally make it inside, he perches somewhat awkwardly on your couch, his height making the piece of furniture appear ridiculously small. You curl up on the other side of the sofa, giving him his space as he books an Uber home. 
The silence is thick, but comfortable. Edward is so engrossed in his phone that you’re finally given the chance to really study his features. The curve of his strong nose that holds up his glasses, the roundness of his cheeks, the softness of his jaw. The warmth of the numerous lamps scattered around your apartment light up his face with a soft glow that makes him look almost cherubic. 
Edward glances at you, clearly feeling your intense gaze. He doesn’t seem anywhere near as nervous as usual, his smile relaxed. 
“You okay?” 
You prop your head up with your hand and nod, content. 
“You’re so handsome, you know?” 
His cheeks grow pink, his smile a little more shy. His voice is a whisper when he speaks. 
“Thank you.” 
You lapse into another comfortable silence as he returns to his phone, the smile never leaving his face. His phone chimes and he stands reluctantly. 
“Cab’s nearly here...” 
You walk him to the door, and he lingers for a moment. 
“Can I-?” 
You don’t give him time to finish, tugging him down by his collar and pressing your lips to his in another soft kiss. His hands find refuge at your waist, pulling you closer to him. You run your hands up his sides, and he reacts with a delicious shiver to your utter delight. Gathering your nerves, you tease his lower lip with a nibble, and he chases your mouth with a soft groan when you pull away from him.  
You grin at his flustered state, his cheeks red and glasses fogged up, his sandy fringe ruffled beyond repair. You press one more lingering kiss to his lips before unlocking your door. 
“You said your taxi’s nearly here?” 
A chuckle escapes Edward, an octave lower than what you’re used to, and your knees go weak at the sound. He runs his hand through his hair, adjusting his glasses. 
“You are so cruel.” 
You glance down, immediately realising what he’s referencing, and giggle giddily. 
“You’ll just have to wait for next time, I guess.” 
He sighs, a dazed smile on his face. 
“So, you want me to take you out again?” 
You roll your eyes playfully, standing on your tiptoes so that your mouth is on level with his ear. You run a hand down his chest, your voice a sultry purr. 
“I thought that much was obvious.” 
Edward breathes out heavily through his nose and you smile innocently at him before kissing his cheek. The tension is shattered by the loud sound of his ringtone and you both jump back, the spell broken. Edward smiles apologetically at you when he answers the phone before panic spreads across his face. You can faintly hear a very angry man shouting at him on the other side of the line. 
“Yes, yes! Sorry! I’ll be right there! Sorry!” 
The other caller hangs up and you snort, pushing him gently out the door. 
“Don’t let me keep you any longer from the most awkward ride home of your life. Are you gonna tell the driver you left him waiting so long because you were making out with your colleague?” 
Edward stumbles over his words, the flush on his cheeks somehow deepening.  
“I, ah, will not be doing that. Christ, I’m going to have to tip him even more than I was planning to, aren’t I?” 
You giggle and Edward laughs too, giving you one last quick kiss before practically throwing himself down the stairs. 
You close your door, sighing dreamily like the protagonist of a cheesy rom-com. You shoot Edward a quick text and sink onto your sofa, your heart thrumming. You'd gotten him to open up. You're going to go on another date. You kissed him. As far as first dates go, you’d chalk that up to being pretty successful.  
The rest of your evening is spent texting back and forth with Edward, and when you finally roll into bed your brain is clouded with thoughts of him, his smile, the feeling of his lips on yours. You’re so focused on the image of Edward’s silly flustered smile after you kissed him for the first time that your rational thinking completely skips over one minor detail that you’ll have completely forgotten by the time you wake up. 
How did he know what floor you live on? 
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